#I CAN'T EVEN GO DOWN TO THE RIVER AND STICK MY FUCKING HEAD IN IT

[burningcomputerpersona]

I'm spending a year out of my comfort zone I don't think I've ever been comfortable in my life Or my own skin So I spent a decade painting myself blue Running from any hint of the truth: I'm far too old to complain about dying alone When I've been the way I've been

[gallusrostromegalus]

AEIWAM - Some details about whats going on with Komamura. IIRC canon said he was a werewolf, are you doing anything with him?

Me: What IS Komamura's backstory? Me: *reads backstory and eventual canon fate of Komamura* Me: Hm. Me: That's thematically weird and depressing. Me: I'll just ignore that :)

---

So in An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy, there's ALL KINDS of animal-people and supernatural creatures of varying degrees of anthropomorphic states in the Soul Society! Wolf people! Yokai! Centaurs But Bad! Snake people (sneople)! Mothmen! Whatever the fuck The Philosopher Wax is! Hell, Zaraki Kenpachi was raised by eagles! More nonhuman persons than you can shake a stick at!

They just stay away from the humans because The Humans are TERRIBLE.

...Not as terrible as my immediate family though, The Young Wolf is willing to gamble. he has to leave his home suddenly, in the middle of the night, frightened and injured. Family feuds are bad enough, but a drought year for a large group of apex carnivores and great-grandmother dying and creating a power vacuum? I'm lucky I got out alive! He reasons, tightening the bandages and wincing.

It doesn't look so bad. he lies to himself, looking at his reflection in the where he had finally collapsed from exhaustion and blood loss the previous night and somehow woke up alive this morning. Great-Grandfather did me a favor, trying to bite me in half like that- a tail would just make it even harder to blend in with the humans!

...Clothes would help more though. He sighs.

One man's trash is another's treasure, and that has never been more true than in the case of wolves that want to live with humans. The Young Wolf nearly weeps with joy when he finds the dump- barely-rotted animal carcasses to eat! broken wood for a fire! and clothes! Big enough to fit him! Alright that's definitely a bloodstain with a big, sort of sword-slash-shaped hole in the middle, but nothing a dunk in the river won't solve!

...Or not. Well, at least being covered in mud is less suspicious than being covered in blood? How does this thing even go on anyway? The garment is so confusing, he almost doesn't hear the humans who came to dump something until they are nearly upon him, and realizing they'll panic if they see his face, he grabs a broken basket and jams it over his head.

"Hey!" one of the humans calls out, seeing the movement. "What're you?" An old man peers around the pile at him, curious.

The Young Wolf sputters- he's heard tales of humans before, but this is the first human he's ever actually seen- The stories tell of their strange dark eyes and flattened faces how their fur is so fine they're nearly bald all over, and this man fits the description perfectly. An old woman- he guesses this one is a Woman, because what little fur she has is longer- she appears behind him, equally curious, then smacks the man under the ear.

"You dummy!" She snaps. "That's a monk!"

"Big damn monk!" The man laughs- indeed, even though he's one of the smallest of his people and not even grown, The Young Wolf towers over him- but still, he extends his open hand. Like the stories say, his claws are blunt and pale and the pads of his paws are soft. "What's yer name, venerable?"

"He can't answer that, he's a monk!" the woman snaps, exasperated. "They got- whatchyamacallit- Vows of Silence!"

"Oh, right!" the old man laughs. "Well, wouldn't matter if you could talk anyhow- my Old Lady's deaf as a post and I'm dumb as a rock! Come on, this is no place for a holy man!" he waved.

"Our home is up this way- it isn't much, but it's better than sleeping in Garbage! You stay with us and I'll fix that ratty old robe right up!" She said, grabbing him by the hand-

-

Ba-San looks down at his hand- it feels strange in hers, but it's not the fine gray fur covering his fingers or the rough pads on his palm or the dark nails that taper to claws.

It's that the hand is bleeding, scraped and cut and one of his nails missing like it had been torn off in a fight.

Ba-San is so old that everyone has forgotten her name and they just call her Ba-San, even her husband (who is so old that everyone has forgotten his name and calls him Jii-san, even his wife), and she didn't get this ancient by being an idiot. She glances up at the broken basket she knows got thrown in here by her neighbor not a week ago and sees the large golden eyes inside, staring down at her.

She's also old enough to know what a frightened child looks like, no matter how tall or what species he is.

She makes a show of squinting at his hand. "Why, your nails are FILTHY! You can wash up at the well out back too." She pats his hand.

"Of course! That's right!" Jii-san laughs. "Like I said- I got gravel for brains! He can sleep in Sajin's bed- Sajin is our Boy, but he's long since left home. It'll be good to have a young person around again!" he says, taking the boy's other hand.

He follows, stumbling awkwardly in the badly-tied robe and like he's been injured, but if he leaves paw-prints behind him, they don't remark upon it. - After about a month, the boy has something to confess. And something to ask.

Ba-San and Jii-San have been kind to him- they let him into their home and fed him and Ba-San didn't fix his robe so much as make an entirely new one "appropriate for a Monk", and Jii-san found a pair of old work gloves for him "so you can do your Good Works without losing another nail". Ba-San always gives him her soup-bones "I don't have the teeth to chew them anymore" and Jii-san always moves over so they can both sleep in the sun-patch that appears in the middle of their home every afternoon.

He's tried to repay them how he can- he's tall enough to fix the holes in the roof of their one-room shack standing flat-footed on the floor, and he carries water from the well every day to wash the stone steps outside and re-painted the red gate out front and every morning he makes them breakfast to wake them up and every night he rubs their tired necks and shoulders.

"Mmm-rr." he tries at breakfast, and they both look up, but it's hard enough practicing human words in the woods behind the shack to the birds, let alone now, at the table with the two people he cares most about in the world.

"You say something, Venerable?" Jii-san asks. "Don't worry- I won't tattle to the abbot on you-" he teases.

"Shush!" Ba-san barks at him. "What is it?"

He sighs, and tries again, focusing on the sounds. "mMnoddamunk."

The two elders stare blankly at him.

"Ahm nodda munk." he tries again, enunciating better. "Ahm nodda yumn eethrr."

The two look at each other, then turn back to him and place a hand on each of his.

"...Sorta figur'd the first when you didn't recognize the shrine." Nods Jii-san. "-But that's alright. You take good care of us."

"...Sort of figured the second when I saw your hand on the day we met." Nods Ba-San. "-But that's alright. You're a good person, which is a very different thing than being a Good Human."

The Boy stares at them, stunned, then cringes, embarrassed. Of course! They're old, not stupid. "Aiyee- r-r-r MN! Aiyee LLied." he apologizes, stumbling over the difficult consonant in the middle, determined to conquer it.

"I didn't hear any lies, did you, Jii-san?" asks Ba-san.

"I didn't hear nothin' and my ears even work!" he grins, ears perking up.

The Boy sighs, still exasperated with their antics but mostly relieved.

...Then something Jii-san said caught up with him, and he frowns.

"Aiyee- Aye haffa..." Another tricky consonant. "Aye needa assk ssmmng." he changed tracks. L was enough of a battle for one day, Q and his frustrating wife U could wait.

"Whadday wanna know, Venerable?" Jii-san asked, and Ba-san frowned, turning her ear out behind their home, already suspecting his questions.

He held up two fingers and they nodded, waiting. He'd gotten very good at numbers and pointing already, and until today, that had carried the conversation. "sssHrrine?" he asked.

Jii-san frowned. "...what's your second question?"

"th-Therre'ss ah- Grrrave?" he pointed out behind the shrine, to where a stone stood, with what he now recognized as marks signifying a name carved into it. "wHo?"

Ba-San and Jii-san looked at each other, distraught for some time before Ba-San finally turned back to him, both hands on his.

"...Venerable," She finally spoke. "You had to run away from home in a hurry, didn't you?"

The boy nods.

"-And Jii-san and I were the first people you met that weren't you family, right?" She continues.

He nods again. She purses her lips, agitated.

"Jii-San." She finally speaks. "I think we ought to show him Sajin."

Jii-san sighs and nods, agreeing with her, and stands up. At the back of the house, there is a little cabinet with two boxes they never open, and something covered by a black cloth. Jii-san opens the cabinet and takes out the thing covered by the black cloth, pulling the cloth aside and bringing the thing to the table. It's a flat rectangle, and on it is a drawing of a very strange creature.

It's face is almost perfectly circular, and it's body covered in clothes, like how Humans dress, including a funny hat. What the boy can see of the creature is perfectly smooth and hairless and the same color as not-quite-ripe peaches. It has a long mane of straight dark gray hair growing from the top of its head, and a beard a bit like a billy-goat's

"This is Sajin," Says Jii-san, voice wavering a bit. "He wasn't our son- you can tell, we're not related by blood- but he was Our Boy. He took care of us, like you do now."

"He was Our Boy." nods Ba-San, on the verge of tears. "Then he was Our Man. And then he was Our Old Man, and then-" She stopped, and began to cry in earnest. "-And then he left home, and we buried his body out behind the shrine, and marked his grave, as Humans do."

The boy continued to stare at Sajin's portrait. "...Sajin." he whispered, and the name didn't fight him at all. "...Ihff- if Sajin iss Yumann-?" he looked up at his friends. "Whattrrre You?"

Ba-San beckons him and Jii-san back to the cabinet, and puts her hand on one of The Boxes They Never Open. Jii-San puts his hand on the other, and together, the open the lids just a tiny bit for The Boy to see inside.

He gasps and steps back in horror- the things in the boxes are very much like the skulls he's seen of his people before, but the noses are all smooshed like they didn't grow right, and the eyes are too large and- -And they're just the right size each to belong to Ba-San and Jii-San.

"We are Koma, Guardian Dogs, and this is our shrine." Says Jii-san, closing the lid on his box as Ba-san closed hers, and placing the drawing of Sajin back on the shelf above them. "We wear clothes and speak like humans because we once took Names, a very long time ago, and thus we are People and we act like People." He explained.

"Nnames?" the boy asks.

"A Name is... a sort of contract, that the humans made up." Says Ba-San, locking the cabinet back up. "Humans can live together in such huge packs and crowded cities because they have Rules- you're not allowed to kill other people except in self-defense. You're not allowed to take food someone else caught. Nobody is allowed to kill a child for any reason, things like that. If you take a Name, it's like saying- 'I am this Person! And I agree to abide by the rules of being a person!', and you have to follow the rules, but everyone else has to follow the rules for you too, because you have a Name. So Humans can live very close to each other, because they all have an understanding that nobody is going to violate those rules."

"It's not just humans that can take names- long ago, some wolves decided to take names, and those wolves became Dogs, that live with humans. They were our ancestors, and like our ancestors, we took Names, and we obeyed the rules, and for that, we were fed and allowed to sleep inside and given soup-bones and let to sleep in the sun-patch, but most of all, we were Loved." Said Jii-san.

"-And just the same, we Loved Sajin. He was Our Boy. And We were His Dogs." Said Ba-san, bursting into tears again. Jii-san held her, tears running down his face as well.

Ba-san cried into Jii-san's shoulder for a long time, and The Boy Who Was A Wolf That Wanted To Live Among The Humans sat in silence, thinking.

"...Cour-could Aye- take a nName?" He asks, slowly.

"You'd have to take two, and learn all the rules-" Nodded Jii-san. "But yes. Anyone who can talk can take a name. And you've been talking my tail off!" he wagged.

"Two?" the boy asked. He didn't need to use his fingers this time.

"Humans have two names- one is the name of that specific human, and one is the name of their family or the place they came from or what they did, as a sort of... Introduction. Humans are very big on introducing themselves and all their friends- though I suppose it makes sense, what with them having names to introduce themselves with."

"You can be a Komamura!" Jii-san said, wagging excitedly. "Ba-san and Jii-san are Koma, and we are your Ba-San and Jii-San, so you must be part of our family, so that makes you Mura, a relative- so you're a Koma-mura!" he nodded.

"Humans also give their children names of revered ancestors, to honor the ancestor, and protect the child." Added Ba-san. "You do Sajin's chores, you sleep in Sajin's bed, you take care of Sajin's Dogs... You must be Sajin!"

"That's your name, if you want it- Komamura Sajin!" Said Jii-san. The Boy stared at them for a long time, completely still, until they realized that, for the first time since they'd known him, the scarred nub on his backside was wagging too.

"Thank you." Said Sajin, tears streaming down his face too. --

Many months later, a Monk* leaves the little shrine to Ba-san and Jii-san at the edge of the dump. He leaves his home in no particular rush- if anything, he's lingering- in the middle of a bright morning, hale and with joy in his heart. He waves to his Ba-san and Jii-san as he heads down the road, promising to come back and visit.

"Look at that." says Ba-San. "Our Boy is leaving home again."

"I know," Says Jii-san. "-but this time it'll be alright."

--

[lovinbarzal]

GREATEST LOVE STORY | TZ11

trevor zegras x hughes! sister

masterlist | everytime this silly little country song plays, i can't help but think of trevor!!! idk why but i do lol | part two

They said I was nothing but a troublemaker never up to no good / You were the perfect all American girl wouldn't touch me even if you could

October 2017

Trevor Zegras. Team USA's playboy. Y/N Hughes. Team USA's Golden Girl aka Jack's sister.

The Hughes twins only ever had one rule for each other, FRIENDS ARE OFF LIMITS!. Y/n never had trouble with that rule.

Until Trevor Zegras came into play. Trevor was Jack's best friend and line mate.

The two met in their junior year. Y/n was studying in the living room with The Maze Runner playing in the background. It was quiet in the house. Quinn was at UMICH, her parents were having a date night, and Luke was upstairs probably playing video games. She was enjoying the peace until a group of 5 boys came running into the house. She knew all of them. Matt Boldy, Cole Caufield, Alex Turcotte, her brother, and- Wait...She thought. Who was this other guy?

"Jack!" Y/n exclaimed as the boys jumped all onto the couches crushing her exam books.

"Yes?" Jack innocently turned to his sister who glared at him.

"Mom said no friends." Y/n scolded crossing her arms.

"Hey guys!" Luke said coming down the stairs but was quick to stop as he saw Y/n's glare.

"Luke Warren Hughes, it is past your bedtime. Get your ass back to your room." The boy slowly turned to walk up the stairs before Jack stepped in.

"Luke, it's fine. Come on." Jack waved the boy down before Y/n punched his shoulder.

"No, Jack. I am not getting in trouble because of you." Y/n shook her head.

"Come on, dude. Take a chill pill." The unknown boy said.

"Do I know you? Didn't think so. Do you live here? Also didn't think so. Luke, go to your room." Y/n said pointing to his room.

"Be nice to my friends." Jack said as Luke went up the stairs.

"Whatever, Jack. I'm going upstairs." Y/n gathered her things before turning to the known boy, "I'm sorry for my comments earlier but never disrespect me in my own house."

"Goodnight Alex, Matt, and Cole. Fuck you, Jack." And with that the girl was already gone and up the stairs. Trevor watched as she walked up the stairs.

"What's up with her? She's usually nice." Matt asked as Jack went to change the tv.

"She's probably got a stick up her ass." Jack answered.

"I like it." Trevor said with a goofy smile on his face.

"Good luck with that, Trev. Jack never lets her date any of his teammates plus it looks like she already doesn't like you." Alex said pulling his phone out.

"I love a challenge." Trevor shrugged looking to Jack who rolled his eyes, "Come on, Jack. Let me be the exception."

"What? No. Plus she hates you and doesn't even know your name." Jack explained as he continued to flip through movies.

"How do you know she hates me?" Trevor exclaimed sitting up from his seat.

"She only apologizes after saying something to tell somaeone off if she dislikes you." Cole clarified with a shrug.

"Come on, man. Give me your blessing, Hughesy." Trevor got on his knees in front of the blond.

"Fine, Zegrase. If she falls for you than you have my blessing to date her." Jack shook his head before clicking play on Fast and Furious.

"Yes!" Trevor said pumping his fist in the air.

"Can't believe he just gave a TEAMMATE permission to date his sister." Cole said to Alex.

"That's cause she's not gonna fall for him. They're too different." Jack said as Trevor was doing a happy dance.

God, did Jack hope he was right.

But you was sneaking out your window everynight riding shotgun in my car / We go to the river and find us a spot and we probably went a little too far

Two Weeks Later

"Come on, Y/N/N. One chance! Please!" Trevor begged as Y/n shut her locker.

"No, Trevor." In the last two weeks, she learned his name and was constantly dodging his attempts to get with her. She knew his reputation.

"Please. I'm begging!" He said following her as she walked to her next class.

"Ugh! Fine! One date! That's it. One chance. Don't screw it up." She said before walking into her class. His smile widened as he walked to his class that he shared with Alex.

"What's got you so smiley?" Before Trevor could answer honestly, he received a text.

From: Y/N/N 💓

don't tell anyone. if we're doing this, we're doing it secretly.

"Oh, nothing." He said before replying.

To: Y/N/N💓

whatever you want, doll😉

From: Y/N/N💓

never use that emoji again.

He smiled as he put his phone in his pocket.

From: Trevor Zegras🫤

i'm outside

Y/n took a small breath before climbing out of her window.

She walked down the street to where she told Trevor to park. She wished she brought a jacket as it was cold. She saw Trevor sitting in his car looking at his phone.

He smiled when he saw her walk up to his car.

"Hey." She said getting into the car.

"Hi." He said with a giddy grin.

"Where are we going?" She asked putting her seat belt on.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." He said pulling out from his parking spot.

"Can I play some music?" She asked reaching for the aux cord. Trevor nodded. She played her shared playlist that she had with her brothers thinking Trevor would like some of the songs but of course the first one to play was Taylor Swift's Speak Now.

"Oh my god." Trevor exclaimed as Y/n's eye widened with worry thinking he didn't like the song, "I love Taylor Swift."

Trevor reached to turn the song up and sang along. Y/n watched with a smile. Maybe going on this date with him wouldn't be too bad.

The two continued to sing along to the songs before reaching their destination.

"The Lake?" She questioned looking at the lake in front of her.

"I thought we could have a picnic." He said reaching into his backseat for the basket and blanket.

"And here's this." He added handing her one of his USA hoodies. "You looked cold."

She took the jacket with a smile before putting it on.

"Thanks." The two got out of the car.

Y/n slipped her hand into Trevors making his smile widen as a blush overtook her cheeks.

The two found a spot and ate the snacks that Trevor had packed. The two found themselves getting lost in conversation.

"Thanks for this." Trevor said looking at the girl.

"For what? You're the one who planned everything." She said tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"For saying yes." He said making the girl blush.

"I'm sorry for being so mean to you." She said scooting closer to him.

"It's ok. I was also a bit annoying." He said as the two leaned in.

"It's a bit annoying that you haven't kissed me yet." She said before slamming her lips on his. A simple kissed turned into a make-out which led to more.

By the time Y/n snuck back into her room, it was time for her to get back up for volleyball practice but she didn't even care how tired she was. She was more focused on what was to come with the boy.



Cause I was gonna be your forever / You were gonna be my wife // But I was what you wanted you were what I needed / And we could meet in between / We were gonna be the greatest love story this town had ever seen

Thanksgiving Day 2017

"We need to tell Jack." Trevor said to the girl as she walked back into her room. He was laying on her bed.

"Are you sure?" She said plopping next to him.

"Positive." He said pulling her close to him.

The two sat in silence until she broke it, "You're gonna be my forever"

"And you're gonna be my wife." He replied.

"So you're for real about telling Jack." Trevor nodded and Y/n sat up.

"Let's tell him tomorrow, then. Quinn comes home tonight so then if Jack tries to kill you, Quinn will be there to stop him." She said making her laugh.

"He actually said I had his blessing." Trevor said with a smile.

"Did he really?" She asked with her brows furrowed.

"Yeah. That night I met you. I knew you would be mine." Trevor said pulling her back down next to him.

"We are gonna be the greatest love story this town has ever seen" He said kissing her temple.

So you went off to college and I got a job I was working that 9 to 5

The Draft Day ended up coming faster than the two had thought. The two had been avoiding the question of what would happen when Trevor gets drafted to Anaheim.

Y/n had been accepted to UMich and Trevor was gonna play for Boston before going to the Ducks.

Y/n sat next to Jack while Trevor sat a couple rows back. Y/n was a wear a simple black dress with heels and her hair was pinned back in a half up half down look.

She turned in her sear and sent Trevor a smile as the ceremony started.

As expected, Jack went first overall to the New Jersey Devils. He hugged his twin as soon as his name was called.

Then came the moment that the couple was dreading, Trevor Zegras went 9th overall for the Ducks. As Trevor came down the stairs, Y/n met him and took his jacket as well as gave him a hug.

"We'll talk later." He whispered in her ear and she nodded as he made his way to the stage.

Screaming for the days when you were coming back, no couldn't come to soon

The two called it quits the next day. Trevor was playing for Anaheim and Y/n was studying to become a nurse in Michigan.

The two both knew it had to happen so it was mutual but that didn't mean it didn't hurt the two any less.

They partied that night as if everything was gonna be okay.

They knew fate would bring them back together because both of them knew they were gonna be the greatest love story the world has ever seen.

[seokgyuu]

→ GENRE: smut, college au, crack

→ PAIRING: Chan(Dino)x Afab!Fem!Reader

→ SYNOPSIS: you have never been a person who turns down a challenge, but when your best friend challenges you to hook up with 13 boys in one semester you kind of wish you were.

→ WARNINGS: neighbor!dino, angry sex kinda??, teasing, fingering, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, squirting, bandage but not really?? yn‘s hands just get tied together, dino uses the words “sweetheart” and “darling” a lot, begging

→  WORDCOUNT: 12k (I don’t know what happened here fr… i snapped)

previous; masterlist ; next

A/N: Hi guys! I am back with this monster of a chapter (tumblr is literally lagging as I write this??)! This time our maknae <3. Going to be honest, the Chan brainrot was THERE these past months. This chapter is one of my favs, not because of the smut necessarily, but because of a few scenes that i just... yeah. Also, the mess gets even messier. *Innocent giggle*. Have fun reading and if you want to be added to the taglist please fill out the form!

taglist: @ariachavez168, @sandcasltes, @amiga-qmilagraso, @learnthisfeeling, @cersti-mo0, @nixtape-foryou, @minahoeshi, @listxn, @starlight-night0, @havetaeminforbreakfast, @kwonranghae, @haogyuslut, @a-dramatic-girl, @lovercuff, @grapefruithan, @whyokoa, @lovercheol, @cosmicupoftea, @learnthisfeeling, @knucklesdeepmingi, @wonusworldd, @baldi-2, @seventeencaratworld, @kingalls00, @1-800-jeonwonwoo, @hoeforhao, @p-dwiddle-blog, @tsukimiyuukun, @urfavtallgirl222, @jordand2012, @lcvejordyn, @jeanjacketjesus, @gaebestie, @hara-98-fan @cersti-mo0 (if your name is crossed out it's because i can't tag you!)

The sunlight was shining through the pretty dark green curtains. Once the light hit you, your eyes flew open, taking in your surroundings at once. The first thing you noticed was yourself. The enormous mirror on the ceiling was having you stare at your own figure, the soft blanket draped over you and only your right leg sticking out, naked and a reminder of last night’s events. The bed was empty next to you, no sign of Seungcheol anywhere and you slowly sat up, letting one hand run through your hair. When he had said that he had a room at the hotel, you had not expected it to be a whole suite he lived in basically all year round (or well, whenever he visited Seoul during his time abroad). The bedroom you were currently in was at least the size of the room you had dined (and fucked) in yesterday, with high windows and a beautiful view of the river. The floor was dark wood, and a soft looking carpet laid right in front of the king size bed. There was a fireplace across from you with a flatscreen TV hanging over it. All in all, the room wasn’t decorated much but impressive at the same time. You slowly got out of bed, your feet touching the carpet you only now realized was spread underneath the bed as well, and you held the thin, soft blanket up, so it covered your naked body. There was a bathroom attached to the room as you saw now, wondering how much you had actually missed when he had led you in here last night. But then again you hadn’t really paid much attention to the interior when you had gotten here. A slight blush crept over your cheeks as you let your eyes linger on the bed behind you for a second, suddenly remembering vividly how he had felt, how he had touched you, tasted you, made you cum so hard you had to beg for a break before you could do anything else. Gosh, he had been so incredibly sweet, kissing your body, caressing your skin, holding you close until you turned around and kissed him, making him aware of you wanting him once more.

Quickly, before the memories became too much too soon, you shook your head and walked over to the door, hoping to find Seungcheol out there. The living space was open and had just as minimal decoration as his bedroom, but it looked a little brighter. The curtains here were crème colored and the furniture about the same. The big leather couch was white and had all kinds of pillows on top of it, the TV was basically a whole wall. There were end tables on each side of the couch, holding books and a lamp and you were impressed by the magnificent carpet spread underneath it. The kitchen space was the same amount of bright, a big island in the middle with four bar stools in front of it – one of them holding Cheol who was on the phone with his laptop propped on top of the island. He hadn’t noticed you yet, too immersed in whatever he was doing. You slowly made your way over to him, stretching out your hand once you were close enough to place it on his shoulder. He turned around, surprise on his face for just a second before his features softened and he smiled, his free hand wandering to yours and bringing it to his lips to softly plant a kiss on your knuckles.

“Yes, Mr. Jang, we will definitely get back to you on that. I wish you a pleasant Sunday.” He hung up and suddenly you were lifted up, a yelp escaping you as the blanket slid from your fingers, leaving you naked and now sitting on the kitchen island that felt extremely cold on your bottom.

“Oppa!” you squeaked, and he laughed, before both of his hands cupped your cheeks, thumbs stroking your jaw as he pulled you into a deep kiss that made you melt right into his frame. You let your hands rest on his shoulders for a little while, only to fully wrap your arms around his neck once he deepened the kiss, his own hands wandering to the small of your back to pull you even closer. You didn’t know how he did it, but your mind went blank and all you felt and saw was him, the only thing you wanted was for him to take you again, to make you feel as precious as he had last night. And yet you also knew that these feelings needed to go, you couldn’t let this persona of his make you forget that you still had your pride on the line. Not to mention if you let this get to your head it would very likely cost you your friendship with Jiwoo.

With that thought on the forefront of your brain, you softly pushed him away, your eyes finding his.

“Oppa,” you started, letting one hand rest on his cheek, “I should leave.”

“Do you want to leave?” He asked now, letting his hands rest on the island next to your thighs. Sighing, you bit your lip.

“It’s not about me. I probably shouldn’t have slept with you in the first place, hell, I shouldn’t have agreed to go on a date with you, but I did. And now I need to end this before-,”

“Before what?” Cheol slightly tilted his head, his deep brown eyes staring into yours. You swallowed.

“It doesn’t matter. I need to go. All of this,” you used your hands to gesture around the room, “is something that isn’t me, shouldn’t be me. Can’t be me. And you, god, you are my best friend’s brother and she adores you, I can’t- she would hate me if she knew.”

You somehow managed to escape him, hopping off the counter and grabbing the blanket to wrap it around yourself again. Seungcheol watched you, arms crossed over his broad chest, and you had trouble looking away, the memories still so fresh in your mind.

“You don’t know if she would, Y/N,” he began, shaking his head, “you’ve already made up your mind about Jiwoo even though you haven’t talked to her.”

You stared at him. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you desperately tried to sort your own thoughts and feelings. What was he even talking about? There wasn’t anything to discuss with Jiwoo, even if she was okay with you sleeping with Seungcheol – what did it matter? You weren’t going to do this again; you couldn’t possibly do this again because it would only lead to complications that you did not feel the need to experience again.

“Oppa, it doesn’t matter, okay? This was a one-time thing, you and me. I thought that was clear?”

Seungcheol fell silent. Mainly because, yes, you were right. It was supposed to be a one-time thing. He felt attracted to you from the second he saw you and it was obvious you felt the same. As he had told you yesterday, he always got what he wanted and last night that had been you. He had wanted you and he had gotten you. So why was he acting this way? Why did the thought of you leaving out the door and not turning back make him feel like this? Like he wished he could make you stop, make you stay. With him.

Pulling a hand through his hair, he averted his eyes and just shook his head.

“Yeah. You’re right. One-time thing,” he mumbled then, still not looking at you. And he decided to just turn around and get back to his work on the laptop instead of trying to convince you to stay. A mix of relief and disappointment filled you when you saw him sit back down, your brain scolding you for feeling the latter part. Without saying another word, you walked back into the bedroom and got dressed, hoping the taxi fee home wouldn’t completely bomb your bank account.

When you walked out again, Seungcheol was back on the phone. And when you left the suite, you had a feeling it wasn’t just your ripped underwear you had left behind.

-

It was five days after you had left Seungcheol at the hotel and Soonyoung had made a mind-map. A mind-map that contained all the names of the guys you had slept with for the challenge, all of them connected by arrows in some shape or form. You stared at it with your mouth slightly dropped.

“So, I felt like this was necessary,” he explained as he took a sip from his coffee.

“How- how did you- what the hell?”

It was scary but impressive.

“Was the “in love with u” necessary, though?” You finally asked after a few seconds of silence and Soonyoung chuckled.

“Only writing the truth,” he said, leaning back in his chair. As much as you hated to admit it… maybe he wasn’t too wrong. It was crazy though, how the left side was a complete chaos, while the right side remained oddly peaceful.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Soonyoung said, a knowing grin on his lips, “how is it possible that the right side looks so… uneventful. Well, first of all I’m sure it’s because Jiwoo wasn’t responsible for any of them.” He had a point there. You chewed on your bottom lip, looking at the chart/mind-map again. It was true, the whole chaos had happened when Jiwoo had been in charge of choosing your targets. Now, with you in control, the drama could finally come to an end. You were relieved to say the least.

“Well, this leaves me with four more to go,” you concluded, leaning back in your chair as well, “that doesn’t seem like such a hard number.” It certainly felt like a lot less pressure than 13, that was for sure. You grabbed your own cup of coffee and took a big sip, your eyes gazing through the coffee shop, wondering if anyone in here sparked your interest. Soonyoung watched you with a chuckle, locking the iPad he had shown you the graphic on, about to put it in his bag, when he suddenly heard someone coughing. Loudly coughing. In very close proximity.

It was you. You were coughing. Choking on your coffee that had landed in the wrong pipe after you had caught a glimpse of the front door of the café and those walking through it.

There was no way. No way in hell this was happening right now.

“Are you okay?” Soonyoung worriedly asked, grabbing one of his napkins and handing it to you, but you didn’t even hear him, nor see the white napkin he was holding.

Mingyu had just walked in. Behind him Joshua, Jun, Minghao and if that hadn’t been enough already, Seungkwan and Jihoon staggered inside the coffee shop right then as well. Your head was about to explode. None of this made sense. How on earth- what the fuck?

“Y/N? Hello, Earth to Y/N?” Soonyoung began waving the napkin in front of your face now and you finally recovered from your coughing fit as well as your tunnel vision on the men you had slept with. For fuck’s sake.

“Is there another exit?” you said through gritted teeth, grabbing the napkin from Soonyoung to shield your face with it. The male in front of you looked at you visibly confused.

“What- I don’t- I don’t think so, why?”

“Because the right side of the mind-map suddenly got a lot more complicated than anticipated,” you said and once Soonyoung understood, his eyes widened and he turned around, looking at what you had been earlier. Just that, obviously, he had no idea what those guys looked like until-

“Jisoo hyung?!”

You almost fell off your chair. Joshua looked over at your table, spotted Soonyoung and smiled widely – only for that smile to falter when he saw… you. To make matters even worse, Soonyoung was completely oblivious to what was happening, jumping up from his chair to hug Jisoo, Joshua, whatever, and made all his companions look your way. This wasn’t happening. You were dreaming, actually. It had to be a dream. A very stupid, idiotic, lousy dream.

But when Mingyu came over with a shit-eating grin on his face, flopping down on the free chair to your left, you knew very well this wasn’t a dream, but the sick reality of your ridiculous life.

“Now, now. Fancy seeing you here, Y/N,” he said, arm swung over your back rest. Speechless, that would be the perfect adjective to describe your current state. So speechless that you didn’t find any words or energy to reply to Mingyu.

“Soonyoung-ah, you look great, when did you get back?” Jisoo patted Soonyoung on the back, the smile back on his lips. You heard them talk mainly because there weren’t many other people around and you wished you could just evaporate right here and now and never come back.

“Only around a week ago, it’s so good to see you, hyung!” you really wondered how on earth Soonyoung survived in this world. How had he not put one and one together yet? How was he still happily chatting away with someone that had the same name as the person on the graph he had made to better understand your situation? You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, deciding to just let it happen. There was no way out anymore.

“Yes, you too, uhm, meet my friends! This is Jun, Minghao, Seungkwan and Jihoon and that guy over there is Mingyu.”

And scene. With every name Joshua said, Soonyoung’s smile dropped and instead made room for terror. Jun? Minghao? Seungkwan? Jihoon? Mingyu?!

“Oh fuck,” he said, his head flying over to you, you who was sitting on your chair with your forefinger and thumb pressed onto the bridge of your nose, eyes closed and frowning. And only now did it make sense because Jisoo’s English name was Joshua and you had slept with someone named Joshua and- shit. He was an idiot.

-

Sitting at a table with seven dudes that had fucked you was definitely not your ideal afternoon activity.

As it turned out, Seungkwan and Jun knew each other because Jun had taught Seungkwan Chinese a while back because the younger male had thought about going abroad for a semester. In the end it hadn’t worked out, but the two stayed friends and eventually Jun had introduced him to Minghao and then Mingyu and so forth. Jihoon, who hadn’t really said anything since he had sat down (“He has a pretty bad hangover, bear with him,” Mingyu had said with a grin, his arm still on the back of your chair. Menace), turned out to be a childhood friend of Joshua’s, who he had only recently gotten back into contact with, namely the university’s festival where you and Jihoon had slept together. For some reason you couldn’t quite figure out just yet, all of them had grown extremely close ever since then, the only one missing from the occasion was Wonwoo, who was currently at work, but who they’d meet up with for dinner.

“Crazy running into you here, it’s like coffee shops are just our thing,” Jisoo had said to you as he sat down, the smirk on his face so annoying you wanted to punch it right off. Jun had even greeted you with a hug, which had totally caught you off guard and Minghao had waved before sitting down and getting out his phone, all while Seungkwan had only stood there, seemingly glued to the floor with the tips of his ears crimson and the knuckles around his iced americano white from holding on too strong. He had finally sat down and only acknowledged you with a small bow of his head, which apparently was so out of character for him that all his friends began teasing him. Soonyoung tried to apologize with his eyes, but you had decided you hated him now, so you ignored him, staring at the table as if it was showing the latest episode of The Penthouse.

“So, how do you know each other?” Joshua was taking a sip from his iced coffee, looking from Soonyoung to you and back, Soonyoung well aware that he had to take over the speaking role. “We went to high school together,” he explained, eyes flickering from Joshua to you, “oh, and Jisoo hyung and I know each other from church. You know, the few months in senior year when my mum was super crazy about all of us going to church.”

That made you look up. Raising your brows, you stared at Joshua.

“You’re a church boy?” you asked, causing a grin to spread on his lips.

“Surprised?” he asked, leaning back. You only scoffed and grabbed your cup, taking another sip, but you didn’t even think about replying to him. Instead, you let your eyes wander through the coffee shop, looking at anyone but the people sitting around your table.

To say the situation was awkward was an understatement. You knew that the majority of them were well aware of your connection with them and it felt like you were about to suffocate. Things couldn’t have gone more wrong than this, really, there was no scenario worse than this. Unless, you thought, Wonwoo decided to show up with Seungcheol right behind him because those two were actually best friends since some summer camp or whatever. Quickly, you shook the thought off – you definitely weren’t going to jinx this now.

“As much fun as this is,” Mingyu said after a while of silence, “we just wanted to quickly grab a drink and then leave. We have some shopping to do and we’re meeting Wonwoo, as mentioned before.”

God, you hated him. Hated him so much you were sure there were actual daggers flying out your eyes when you looked at him. Not that he cared. He got up from his chair, the others following him and only then, after you had sat together for at least ten minutes, Jihoon finally took notice of you.

“Oh, Y/N, what are you doing here?” He asked, eyebrows shot up in surprise. Everyone looked at him. You felt your jaw tense.

“I’ve been here the whole time, Jihoon-ah,” you mumbled back, and he slowly nodded.

“You know each other?” Seungkwan asked, and yet again it couldn’t have been worse.

“Oh, yeah, we hooked up at your university festival.”

Silence. As if the whole world had suddenly stopped. Seungkwan’s eyes widened, and you wished for his sudden extrovert self to go back to hell.

“You… you slept with her?” He asked.

“Oh, yeah, doesn’t “hooked up” imply that?”

“Well, no, some people also just use that to say they met up with someone or just made out or something,” Joshua explained.

“Really? Well, in our case we did meet up and then made out and also had sex,” Jihoon nodded, looking from Joshua back to you, “it was fun.” You knew he was trying to make light of the situation, but he couldn’t have chosen a worse way. In fact, all of this was horrible and ridiculous and right now you really wished you had decided to stay in bed that morning.

“Interesting,” Mingyu nodded, a knowing grin on his face. You truly hoped he wouldn’t say anything else. Hoped none of them would speak out what probably everyone had figured out at this point. You watched as they all began to look at each other, their silent conversations making you want to rip out your hair and stuff it in each of their mouths.

“Well, then you better get going!” Soonyoung came to the rescue now, getting up and placing a hand on Joshua’s shoulder, “you seem to have a lot of things planned today, hyung.”

Maybe hating Soonyoung had been a bit of an overreaction. You smiled slightly as you watched them leave, ignoring Mingyu’s grin and only waving at Jun and Minghao, Seungkwan having already fled the scene and Jihoon now being shoved out of the door by Mingyu.

Soonyoung fell down onto the chair next to you, visibly defeated.

“I am so sorry,” he said, his hands clasped together, rubbing them up and down, his eyes big and round. You knew he meant it and as much as you wanted to punch him, you also knew he was just a victim of his own pea-sized brain. You waved him off and pulled a hand through your hair.

“Don’t worry about it,” you replied finally, grabbing your cup to finish your drink. The urge to leave this place and never come back, having you gulp everything down in one go. Soonyoung watched you, still feeling incredibly stupid and guilty. How had he not reacted quicker?

“I told you not to worry,” you said again, giving him a small smile as you picked up your bag and got up. He immediately followed you.

“Y/N-,“ he began, but you waved him off.

“Soonyoung-ah, this must have been the most awkward moment of my life, alright? I have to go and, I don’t know, take a walk or drown myself in the Han River or my shower or… something. I’ll text you later.”

Defeated, Soonyoung nodded, watching you as you gave him one last smile before finally leaving the coffee shop.

-

That same evening you were in your apartment. Finally some alone time, you thought, just you and a bottle of wine and maybe an episode of your favorite drama before you fell asleep on the couch. You really weren’t asking for a lot. And if this hadn’t been your current life perhaps it would have worked out fine.

Right when your first glass was halfway emptied and the leads of your drama had just begun one of their in-famous fights – you suddenly heard a noise, more like a loud shattering of some sort, right outside your door. Your head yanked to the side right as your eyes widened and you quickly jumped up, worried that someone might have fallen or dropped something. Right when you swung open the door you saw that your second guess hadn’t been that far off. Not far from your door crouched a blonde-haired man, surrounded by what seemed like a million pieces of glass.

“Oh no, do you need help?” You asked, making the man aware of you being there. He turned his head to face you, and it took you a second to realize the obvious distress on his features, too distracted by how good-looking he was.

“That would be great, do you, uh, maybe have a broom?”

Together you gathered all the shards, a bit of small talk happening on the side. He had just moved in two doors down from you since his dormitory had had to shut down for the time being due to a broken water pipe. He had found the apartment by chance, incredibly lucky that it was within his price range and had now already succeeded in breaking decorative vases his mother had sent him.

“Well, at least there wasn’t any liquid involved. The carpets here soak up everything and then don’t stop smelling for a good three months,” you chuckled as you held open the trash bag you had gotten from inside. He laughed, nodding his head, and throwing some more of the shards into the bag. He was perfect. Perfect as a distraction from Seungcheol who hadn’t left your mind, perfect to be the next step closer to finally ending this challenge and you going back to your old life. You watched as he wiped off his hands on his jeans, looking around to see if you had missed anything, but deemed the floor shard free the next second.

“Thank you so much for your help,” he said then, looking back at you and you smiled, closing the bag.

“That’s what neighbors are for,” was your reply and he laughed, pulling a hand through his bleached mullet. God, whoever his hairdresser was needed a serious raise.

“Oh, I’m Chan by the way!” He seemed to only remember now that no names had been exchanged yet and you smiled brightly as you introduced yourself too.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too, again, thank you so much, I would invite you inside for a coffee or something, but I’m meeting friends in like half an hour and-,”

“Ah, don’t worry about it, really! I was happy to help. And if you ever do want to invite me inside for a cup of coffee or something, you know where I live.”

Chan heard the innuendo in your voice. Or at least he thought he did. He felt his throat dry up and his heart gaining speed as he quickly tried to find an answer. But the way you were looking at him left his mind blank. Damn him for being a stupid man!

“Uh, oh, y-yes, yes, I do. Well, h-have a nice evening!” He hurriedly took the bag from your hand and was down the aisle and in front of his apartment faster than you could have probably said goodbye. Grinning, you walked back into your own apartment as well, sure that this one would once again be a piece of cake.

-

Or maybe it wasn’t. Not because he wasn’t interested, but because he was nowhere to be found. It was as if he had vanished into thin air, as if he had just been a fragment of your imagination.

“He surely wasn’t fake,” Jiwoo said a week later, the two of you in your university’s cafeteria. You sighed, taking a sip from your coke.

“How do you know? Maybe I am getting so desperate I am starting to make hot guys up.”

Your best friend rolled her eyes and leaned back in her uncomfortable cafeteria chair.

“Now, that’s a little extreme, isn’t it?” She raised a brow at you, but all you did was shrug and put your chopsticks away.

“It’s not like you can’t just choose another hot guy to hook up with, y/n. There are plenty around here.”

“Yeah, and where did that get us when I slept with people from this school, Jiwoo-yah?” You crossed your arms. Jiwoo closed her mouth.

“I thought so,” you snorted before shaking your head, “no, honestly, he was perfect. He doesn’t go to this university, he is a freshman which makes him significantly younger than the rest of my guys and he was hot. Like, so hot, Jiwoo.” You put your head in your hands, sighing. Jiwoo chuckled.

“They were all hot. And since when are you into freshmen?”

“Just this one,” you replied through your hands and Jiwoo nodded, laughing again.

It really was a shame. You had really thought Chan would be easy, a walk in the park. You had imagined running into him on the hallway and asking him if he wanted to come in for some beer or soju or anything and then he would fuck you on your couch and done was it. Only three more to go. But no. Of course life didn’t come that easy to you anymore, you had already used up all your luck at the beginning of this idiotic challenge.

Jiwoo continued eating now, before she made a noise as if she had just remembered something.

“Oh, I forgot to mention!” She started just as you took your hands off your face and continued eating your fried vegetables, “my brother asked about you.”

A piece of fried broccoli landed in the wrong pipe, and you began coughing loudly. Jiwoo looked at you, clearly surprised.

“Are you okay?” She asked, bending forward a little. You nodded, quickly waving her off and grabbing for your coke to stop the coughing. Jiwoo frowned a little, but sighed after, clearly annoyed at her brother.

“Anyways, he just wanted to know how you were doing and told me you met on your way out from his party. You didn’t even tell me! Apparently, he needs someone to translate a few meetings with some German businessmen and he asked if you would be up for the job,” she scoffed, “I was like, what do you mean? Don’t you have translators at the company? And he said that, yes, he does, but maybe a college student could use the experience. You know, I was super annoyed at first because I thought he was, I don’t know, into you or something, but he genuinely seemed like he wanted to help you out.”

Your head was spinning listening to her, and your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, reminding you of how much you were actually thinking about him and how much you had no control over the way he still made you feel. His touch, the way he felt, how he tasted, sounded… it was all engraved in your brain and you feared you were never going to stop craving him, needing him. Gulping down your coke, you leaned back and bit down on your lip. He was right, that was a great opportunity for you. But then again, was there really a meeting or did he just want to see you? Was this an excuse?

“I- I mean, that is incredibly kind of him to offer,” you started slowly, not looking at her. Thoughts were still rummaging through your brain, thoughts you were scared to accidentally blur out and tell Jiwoo. You knew you shouldn’t go and see him again. There were already too many secrets you were keeping from Jiwoo. Up until now you hadn’t even told her about Soonyoung knowing, and him and you running into all the guys at the coffee shop. She was unaware of you and her brother, unaware of the lie you told her about having met some rich dude at a bar that night and how he had ended up taking you home. All in all, you weren’t being truthful to your best friend of many years for selfish horrible reasons and yet…

“I would love to help him,” you finally breathed out, feeling the excitement fill every cell of your body. Jiwoo seemed relieved.

“Oh, good! I, uh, kind of already told him you would,” her cheeks turned a very faint shade of pink. The excitement was now replaced by confusion.

“You did?”

“Yeah, uhm… there is a little more I should probably tell you.” She looked around and then leaned forward, her body language suddenly different. All of a sudden, she radiated energy that you couldn’t quite pinpoint, but her face was showing signs of guilt. You blinked at her a few times feeling uneasy.

“What is it?”

“Well, uh, I met up with oppa a few days ago and we had drinks and during that he brought up the job and I said that you would love to do that and then uh, I kind of said that maybe there will be a hot German businessman you can seduce for our challenge.”

Deadbeat silence. Your ears felt as if someone had stuffed cotton into them. Oh no. Oh god no. You couldn’t do the job. There was no way in hell you could ever face him again. He was-

“Wait and even after that he still wanted me to do the job?” You couldn’t help yourself, the question needed to be asked! How could he still offer this when now he knew the actual reason you slept with him? He should be mad, furious even, not offer you a job.

“I mean, yeah,” Jiwoo seemed confused at your question, “sure, he told me that those men probably won’t be a fit for you, but he took it with humor, actually.”

With humor. That almost made you laugh. You stayed put, though. Of course he wouldn’t just get all angry with his sister, after all she hadn’t been responsible for your choice. Right now, you had to somehow stay calm and collected. Giving yourself away was not at all an option right now.

“Well, that’s good then. You can tell him that I’d love the opportunity.”

“You can tell him yourself, he told me to give you his number, here,” she reached over, a business card laying on the table in front of you the next second. You gulped down whatever lump was in your throat and put on a smile, grabbing the card.

“Awesome, I will do that later then!” you put the card in your bag and Jiwoo seemed satisfied enough to continue eating her food, humming happily. Okay, you needed to get out of here and call Seungcheol. Talk to him and explain yourself. You felt anxiety creep up your spine – what could he possibly think of you now? And what if he had even wanted to take back his invitation to work for him but because he didn’t want to seem too suspicious, he just continued acting like he actually wanted you around? There were too many mysteries in your head right now, mysteries you desperately needed to solve before going on with your day.

-

You somehow made it through lunch with Jiwoo and said your goodbyes, practically running out of the cafeteria and outside, the sun blinding you only for a second before you found yourself a bit of a secluded space next to the cafeteria building. It was a bit warmer today and you shoved your sleeves up your arm, taking out your phone and the business card next.

“Better to get this over with.” Feeling your heart speed increase, you took a deep breath and dialed the number on the card, preparing yourself for the worse.

It rang a few times before a man picked up the phone.

“Choi Seungcheol’s office, you’re speaking with Lee Seokmin, how can I help you?”

“Uh, hi, my name is Y/N. Mr. Choi told his sister to tell me that I should call him,” you sat down on the bench next to you, your leg beginning to move restlessly, teeth chewing on your bottom lip.

“Please hold,” Lee Seokmin now said and soon enough you found yourself in a queue with classical music playing. You sighed and started playing with the hem of your shirt, heartbeat already audible in your ears. As of right now, you still didn’t really know what you were going to say to him, you just knew you had to figure out what he was thinking. If he was even thinking about you. Which you of course would never assume. Right when your anxiety was about to skyrocket – the line clicked. And Seungcheol picked up.

“Y/N,” he said in his deep voice, and you swallowed hard, sitting up straighter.

“Seungcheol oppa, hi. Uh, Jiwoo told me to call you.”

“I see. I’m assuming this is about the job I offered?” Something was off about his voice. Yes, it was as deep as you remembered, but it also sounded somewhat strained. Or no, breathy.

“Yes, the job, that’s right,” you pulled a hand through your hair, “listen, oppa, I’m very grateful for this opportunity, but I was just wondering if you really – well, if you really want me to come work for you, after-,” you were interrupted by Seungcheol groaning. You froze on your spot.

“Don’t be silly, Y/N,” he said, and you could literally imagine him right now, “so, you slept with me because you and my sister have some childish challenge. Whatever. It’s not like it meant anything, isn’t that right? You said it yourself.”

His voice was still off. His breathing was off. It almost sounded as if-

“Oppa, what exactly are you doing right now?” Slowly, you got up from the bench, feeling yourself starting to shake.

“What? You can go and fuck twelve other dudes, but I can’t accept your call while a girl sucks my cock? That seems unfair to me, Y/N.”

Oh hell no. Your free hand balled into a fist and your nervosity changed into anger. Was he being serious right now? Sure, you had kind of figured he could be mad at you. Hurt, even. But this? Accepting your call while some girl was on his dick, talking to you this way? You hated to admit it, but it stung. Stung just the way it had back when Wonwoo had made his comment the other day. And suddenly it all came back to you. The repressed anger, all the frustration you had felt these past months. So much shit had happened, so many situations you had felt wronged in. The stress of completing this god forsaken challenge for no reason except your idiotic pride. It was suddenly all too much.

“You’re an asshole, Choi Seungcheol. For all I care, you can go fuck yourself, or any other girl on this planet, but don’t you dare ever try to speak to me again.” You hung up on him whilst still shaking and stuffed your phone back into your pocket, ready to go and skip your last class because there was no way in hell you were going to sit in a room with other people feeling like this. You had to calm yourself down, had to meditate or maybe throw around some plates, scream into your pillow.

But of course the universe had not picked you as it’s favorite – not today or ever – because when you grabbed your bag, ready to head home, you saw none other than Wonwoo walking over to you. His glasses slightly crooked on his nose, his hands nervously playing with the sleeves of his oversized shirt.

“Hey,” he said once he stopped in front of you, oblivious to your sour mood.

The fact there wasn’t any steam coming out of your ears right now was actually surprising. You didn’t say anything, you just stared at him, waiting.

Wonwoo cleared his throat.

“Look, Y/N, what I said to you the other day was out of line, I should have never-,”

“Called me a slut?” and here we go. You took a step towards him, watching how his eyes widened slightly.

“I-,” he tried, but you cut him off.

“Because you did do that. You called me a slut for sleeping with other guys, Wonwoo. You couldn’t deal with it, you acted like a little boy who was mad he didn’t get his favorite candy at the store. I tried, Wonwoo, I tried to understand you, to be cautious of your feelings. Do you think I knew these guys were your friends? Yeah, I get that it sucks for you, and I am sorry about you finding out the way you did. But I don’t owe you anything. In fact, I don’t owe anyone anything and you slut shaming me for having sex with other guys, to hell with how many, is wrong and fucked up!”

As you spoke, you somehow backed Wonwoo up against the wall of the cafeteria building, his eyes even wider as you stopped, the corners of his mouth twitching once in a while, just like his eyebrows. He understood and knew that he had fucked up, that he had said something horrible to you. But this? Now it was his turn to ball his fists.

“I know all that! That’s why I came to you, Y/N. And you have every right to be upset with me, but… you tried to be cautious of my feelings? What is that even supposed to mean? I don’t need you to do that, I don’t need you to look out for me or my feelings, I’m not a baby even if you think I am! And you talking to me like this, yelling at me as if I hadn’t come here to apologize! Look, I’m sorry for saying what I did back then, I let my jealousy get the best of me and-,”

“And you have no right to be jealous! I never promised you anything, Wonwoo, I literally disappeared out of your life the second I got you to sleep with me, shouldn’t that have been sign enough that I’m not interested in you?!”

PANG. Your back hit the wall, as Wonwoo had you spun around, hands around your wrists, pinning them against the concrete. Your head hurt and so did your pride, trying to somehow loosen his grip on you, free yourself. It was no use. Wonwoo breathed hard, his eyes glinting behind the crooked glasses.

“Is that right? You weren’t interested?” He breathes, his nostrils flaring.

“Is that why you let me fuck you in the library, Y/N? Why you sucked my cock so prettily before the fashion show? Because you weren’t interested?” He was so close all of the sudden, his body pressing against yours. You felt everything inside you burn, even your skin. All of him was somehow too much and not enough at once, but your anger was still there, lingering inside of you and you sure as hell weren’t going to give in.

“Yeah, I wanted you to fuck me in the library, and I wanted to suck you off at the fashion show. Still doesn’t mean I am interested in you.” Now, you managed to push him off, ignoring the obvious hurt on his face.

“You-,”

“Fuck you, Jeon Wonwoo. Seriously. Fuck your apology, I don’t wanna hear it.” Finally, you grabbed your bag from the ground as it had fallen down earlier, ignoring Wonwoo who still tried to speak to you. His voice was nothing but a humming in your ears, a static sound your brain wasn’t even registering anymore. He wasn’t important. Nothing was important but the deep rotting rage inside of you, the way all of your emotions had formed one big ball of fury that was now sitting right there in your chest. You needed to get away from Wonwoo, from Seungcheol (even though he was nowhere near you), from anyone here who had any kind of power over you.

-

Your apartment complex had never looked more inviting. Breathing exercises had done nothing to calm you down, not even your favorite chill playlist had helped. Seungcheol’s audacity and Wonwoo’s insult of an apology were still so fresh inside your head, your blood continuing to boil as you walked to the front door, typing in the code – only to catch a glimpse of a figure inside the elevator that had just stopped on the ground floor. Another person was exiting, which meant that they probably needed to catch something from their mailbox and that the figure was alone in the elevator.

Chan was leaning against the wall, his eyes meeting yours by chance. He was wearing a simple black t-shirt and white and black baggy pants, his blonde hair still in that delicious mullet. He wore some silver chains around his neck, hands buried inside the pockets of his pants. The anger within you grew because how could he show up after a week and look like this?!

Shoving open the door once it clicked, you made your way to the elevator, your whole body back to shaking.

“Oh! Y/N, long time no s-,” you shut him up by interrupting - screaming at - him.

“Where the fuck have you been?” You dropped your bag on the floor, standing right in front of him now your bodies almost touching. Chan’s eyebrows shot up, clearly surprised by your antics. He hadn’t been home much the past week, studying at the library almost every day when he wasn’t at the dance studio downtown getting some more practice in. Back when you had first met he had understood what you had meant, inviting yourself over for coffee next time, he wasn’t that oblivious. And of course, he had wanted to get to that… coffee as soon as he could, but as much as he was horny, he was ambitious. And now you were here, demanding to know where he was?

He chuckled in disbelief, shaking his head at you slightly, tongue sticking out of his mouth just slightly, touching his teeth.

“Are you kidding?” He raised his brows, that singular motion making the ball of emotions inside of you grow even tighter.

“You disappeared,” you said, eyes on him, “as if you were avoiding me. Were you avoiding me?”

“Why would I?” Chan snapped back, your lungs suddenly finding it hard to breath. He wasn’t doing anything, he just stood there, and yet you felt just as furious with him as you had with Wonwoo. But before you could even reply, he took a step toward you, his chest now touching yours.

“Are you that insecure, Y/N? You flirt with a guy once and ask him for coffee or something and when he doesn’t come crawling to you right then, you think he’s not interested? Sounds a bit pathetic to me.”

You gasped, your hands about to cramp with how hard you were balling them once again.

“Excuse me?”

“Pretty sure you heard me,” he tilted his head, a smirk now appearing on his pretty lips. At this point you hadn’t even noticed the elevator moving up, hadn’t noticed the fact it had arrived at your floor. The doors opened and closed a couple of times as the two of you stared at each other. Chan still with the same smug smirk on his face, you fighting all the demons inside of you.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Not exactly knowing how, you still managed to talk back at him. He clicked his tongue, looking over at the doors, before looking back at you. Then, without notice, his hands were on your waist, spinning you around, a yelp escaping you when you felt yourself hit the wall of the elevator.

“Where the fuck I’ve been, hm? Well, I was in the library or in the dance studio, Y/N. Living my life, not thinking about the hot neighbor and how much I want him to fuck me, but I’m guessing you can’t relate to that, can you?” His voice was merely a whisper into your ear, hands digging into your sides, making you squirm.

“You-,”

“Now, now. You came onto me so rudely, Y/N, I don’t think you should be allowed to speak yet.” Chan leaned back a little, looking you up and down, licking over his lips. You felt two things at once: Absolute and utter want and the same anger and frustration from before.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” you finally breathed out, before shooting forward, hands on the sides of his neck as your lips crashed together, catching him off guard. Thankfully, Chan’s body reacted quicker than his brain, his arms now fully wrapped around your waist, kissing you back with the same force – or so he thought because the next thing he knew was you pushing him against the wall, a loud thumb echoing through the elevator as he groaned into the kiss. You were eager, or maybe just really mad at him. He was fine with both.

Your lips moved together in perfect sync, hands wandering, breaths getting stuck. All that pent up frustration inside of you slowly releasing. The two of you didn’t speak, instead he picked you up from the floor, your legs automatically wrapping around him as he carried you outside into your shared hallway, walking you over to his door, your lips latched onto his neck, sucking harshly determined to leave a mark. He swore under his breath as he put in his door code, pushing said door open the next second and bringing you inside. He let one hand wander from the back of your thighs to the back of your head, grabbing a fistful of hair to pull you away from his neck and instead kiss you again, his tongue finding yours right away. He let you down then, both of you kicking your shoes off before going further inside. In any other situation you might have noticed the way his apartment was the same shape and size as yours, his bedroom right where yours was. You might have noticed the art he had hung up on the walls, the green velvet couch, the black carpet, the family picture on the end table. You didn’t notice anything though, too busy with chasing his lips, your hands already underneath his shirt helping him to get it off. It felt like a movie, the way you two left trails of your clothes from the entrance way to the bedroom, shirts and pants, socks and finally underwear, as he got rid of your bra right when you stepped inside the bedroom. His hands were on your ass, mouth latched onto your right nipple, your head thrown back as you moaned. Your own hands were in his hair, pushing him closer to you, the feeling of his tongue twirling around your stiff bud just too good. Somehow from the first moment you had seen him you had been sure he would be good with his tongue, with his hands. He looked like a guy who liked to please and at this point you kind of needed him to do exactly that.

“You’re greedy, aren’t you?” he whispered against you, as he moved up, his breath hitting your skin and making you shiver. You shook your head, back to grabbing his face and pulling him up.

“Shut up,” was all you could say before kissing him again, his cocky chuckle making you want to push him down onto the bed and give him absolutely nothing until he begged you to. Too bad he had a different idea. His arms wrapped back around you, picking you up and finally putting you down onto the bed, where he now crawled between your legs, letting his tender fingers caress your hips and stomach. His eyes were on you, watching you while you felt your pussy beginning to throb, your fingers now grabbing the sheets. He was way too hot right there between your legs, a smirk on his pretty lips, fingers getting dangerously closer to your thong. Impatience was now mixed with the already existing frustration, and you groaned wiggling your hips. Chan licked his lips as he titled his head.

“Eager, greedy, and impatient? I really brought a brat into my bed.”

“Whatever, just do something!” Your whine only made him chuckle again. Shaking his head, Chan brought his fingers down, index now sliding over your clothed lips. His eyes wandered from your face to your core, his dick straining against his briefs as he continued his tease, your whines only getting louder. Chan decided to ignore you. Instead, he bent down, kissing you over your underwear, tongue shooting out and slowly licking over your slit, your head beginning to spin. Why the hell wasn’t he taking off your underwear, why would he just-

“So, so wet. And cute, look at your cute little cunt,” his breath against you was driving you insane. All of him was driving you insane. You were about to argue with him again, when you finally felt him pull your panties to the side, his mouth devouring you right then. You moaned, back arching at his touch, eyes closed shut. You had been right with your assumption – he was good with his mouth. His tongue drew circles on you, before licking all the way down to your entrance and back up, lips now closing around your clit, sucking on it harshly. Stars were already beginning to form in front of your eyes, heat spreading all throughout you as your hips couldn’t help but rock against his face. He wasn’t bothered by it, instead he continued his spiel, tongue now flicking against you, causing your back to lift off the bed. Something about the way he touched you was so sensual and intimate it made your toes curl. Obviously, you had had your fair share of sex these past few months and you wouldn’t go as far as to compare any of them, but you could definitely appreciate the way Chan was handling you right now.

Nevertheless, you had approached him with pent up frustrations, and you needed him to fuck that out of you as soon as possible.

“Chan…,” you moaned when he began kissing the insides of your thighs instead of moving further, “please fuck me, I really, really need you to fuck me.”

There it was again. That god damn chuckle. Cocky and so arrogant. Chan slowly moved up now, his hands catching yours and pinning them over your head. Your eyes widened when you felt his hard cock against your core.

“I know you do, Y/N. But bad girls don’t get rewarded. They get punished.”

He flipped you over as if you weighed nothing. You squeaked; your face now pressed into one of his pillows trying to squirm underneath him, but it was no use. Only one of his hands held down your wrists now, while the other tugged on your thin panties and (this had become a theme in your hook-ups apparently) ripped them off of you.

“Spread your legs for me, sweetheart,” the softness of his fingertips was right there on your bare ass, goosebumps erupting all over your skin. You did as told still shaking with want and let out a breathy moan when his fingers slid between your folds, coating them in your arousal and finally sinking into you. Chan did not leave you hanging, his fingers moving quick and hard once you had adjusted to them – all whilst he remained calm, watching you on your stomach, your face sheltered by your own hair. If he was honest it took everything in him not to just get his cock out and fuck you stupid, but he had a plan. He was going to get you even more riled up. He was going to make you feel as if the only cure to your so obvious frustrations was him. You were going to beg him soon, beg him to fuck you, to give you his cock. Smirking down at you, he quickened his pace, your small moans music to his ears.

“So good for me, so obedient. What do you say, should I make you cum with my fingers, hm?” You nodded, not able to move much with his hand still holding your down. You needed the release, sure you would feel more at ease with everything once that stress left you through one sweet climax – just that Chan wasn’t exactly going to make it easy for you. Instead of continuing to fuck you with his fingers, he pulled out of you, the feeling of emptiness almost bringing tears to your eyes.

“Chan!”

He ignored you, both of his hands now on your hips, shoving you up and forward, leaving you on all fours, causing you to yelp once more. Chan didn’t give you any time to react more as he moved quickly behind you, suddenly his face next to yours, his hand opening the drawer in his bedside table. You followed his movements and saw what he pulled out. A condom (a first for you after quite some time) and… a red tie. Your eyebrow twitched up.

“What are you-,” you began, but Chan was once again quicker than you, grabbing your hands and making you fall over with another surprised scream, your ass up in the air and your hands now tied together by the red tie.

“Bad girls don’t get rewards, Y/N, they get punished,” he repeated as he finished the knot around your wrists and moved to carefully shove your hair out of your face. You glared up at him. He just innocently smiled down at you, caressing your cheek.

Heartbeat in your ears and between your legs, you watched how he leaned down, his eyes fixed on yours, lips finding your shoulder. He moved down to kiss along your back, every touch making your body explode with more emotions. He was soft, warm. But right now, you wanted more, you wanted him to be hard, cold even, wanted him to fuck all of these emotions out of you. And only when his hands were back on your hips and his lips were on your lower back did you realize what he was doing. He knew exactly what you wanted; he just wasn’t going to give in that easily. You groaned, trying to sit up, but it wasn’t possible, not with the way he had positioned your arms and tied your wrists together. You were right under his control, and he was going to have his way with you.

“Chan…,” you cried out, desperation slowly but surely taking you over. But once again, he acted like he didn’t hear you. Instead, he continued his plan, his hands now on your ass, spreading your cheeks apart and almost drooling at the sight of your perfectly wet pussy. Licking his lips he dashed forward, his tongue soon diving into you, catching you off guard.

“Fuck!”, you breathed into the pillow, eyes squeezed shut as you felt your body react to the way he made you feel. Sweat starting to form on your forehead, your hips moving against him until he stopped you with his strength. There was no talking, no trying to tell you off, but instead he kept going, mouth on your core as if he had been starving for weeks. And perhaps this was true, considering he had been craving you since that day you had helped him in the hallway. He had been so mesmerized by you, by your aura and the way you seemingly just took what you wanted. And today his suspicion had been confirmed. Just thinking about the way you had talked to him earlier, the fire in your eyes… it made him dig his hands deeper into your skin and suck even harsher on your clit.

“Ch-Chan, pl-please!” you were so close, felt all of the nerves in your body awakening, burning, and screaming for more. You don’t know how he did it, but you also didn’t care – you just didn’t want him to stop. But right before he got you there, before you could scream in pleasure, thank all the gods for this gift – he stopped. Leaning back on his ankles and wiping his mouth with one of his hands. Your body began to shake once again, your eyes opening and your throat letting out a dry sob.

“Oh, I’m sorry, were you close, baby?” Chan smirked knowingly; one hand now placed on your right butt cheek.

“What the fuck?” you somehow croaked out, managing to lift your head up enough to see him. It was unfair how perfect he looked. Defined torso, the silver chains still around his neck, blonde mullet adjourning his pretty face just in the right way. He looked so familiar for some reason, and you moved your hips again, trying to get him to notice how much you needed him to finish what he started. But Chan had a different plan.

Looking at you from this angle was something he was sure he could do for another two hours at least, but he knew he couldn’t wait that long to give in to what he knew both of you wanted. Still, he also wasn’t going to give in already. With a smooth movement, he turned you back to face him, your hands still tightly knotted above you. Your eyes found his, hunger and want so clear in his face as he looked over your body, taking in every inch of your perfect skin. He shuffled a little closer, kneeling in between your legs again and caught you off guard when he grabbed your thighs and hooked them around his waist. You moaned, his hard cock behind his briefs now smug in between your lips, a whimper leaving you when he moved his hips just a tiny bit. The friction was too much and not at all enough. Tears began prickling in your eyes when he leaned forward, his breath hitting your cheek the same time as he rocked his hip against you a second time.

“So desperate for release, aren’t you?” he whispered into your ear, before kissing the spot right underneath, his hips now continuously thrusting against yours, his cock getting harder with every second. He kissed and licked your neck, the dry humping hard on him just the same, and you noticed how he struggled by the way he kissed you, the way he grabbed your face and moved his lips so he could crash them against yours. His tongue found yours quickly, the sudden rise of temperature and his own impatience obvious. You wanted to touch him, drag your nails across his back, leave marks for everyone to see, for yourself to see and be reminded of this.

“Wanna touch you, Chan-ah,” you breathed into the kiss, your legs tightening around his waist, your own now circling against him. He groaned, kissing you hard again, fingers clasping your chin and your teeth sinking into his bottom lip. Judging by his reaction he loved it, his free hand now on your left tit, squeezing it hard as his movements became even quicker.

“Want to touch you, scratch down your back, Chan, please, want you to fuck me, make me scream your name, shit, please.”

Lord, never had Chan wanted to let go of his plans as much as right now. His determination to make you beg repeatedly was slowly dying. Wasn’t this enough already? You this desperate? Did he have to go further, when it was so clear you just wanted him to finally sink into you?

“Shit,” he cursed now, parting from you and looking down, his chains dangling right above your chest and, god, did you want to grab them and pull him down, kiss him until your lips couldn’t do it anymore. He once again licked his lips, hands framing your face, sliding up to your hands.

“Don’t do anything stupid, sweetheart. Got it?” His voice was stern, but his eyes were full of need. You nodded, sure you weren’t going to try anything, considering you just wanted him to fuck you. Everything else had passed. Chan continued to get rid of the tie then, ripping it off your wrists five seconds later.

Everything happened in a perfect blissful blur. He kissed you again just as your hands moved to his back, nails already digging into it as he began to thrust again, his cock so hard you felt like it was about to leave bruises on your lips.

“Chan, please, please fuck me, god, please!”

The man’s head was spinning. This had been in his head, this had been what he wanted. You had given him exactly that. How on earth were you this perfect? He nodded, quick to move back and get rid of his briefs, your legs momentarily leaving his waist. You watched as he got out his cock, watched the precum drip onto his blanket, your mouth watering. But there was no time to suck him off, you craved something else right now. Your shot forward, making that fantasy from before a reality as you grabbed his necklace, pulling him into as kiss as your hand wrapped around his cock, skillfully jerking him off.

“Holy fuck,” Chan breathed out into your mouth, blindly reaching for the condom he had taken from the bedside table earlier. You watched him rip it open, parting from him for a small while, hand still around his cock, pussy throbbing for him, eyes glued to his hands that now moved to roll on the condom. You laid back down, chest heaving. There was no way you could take your eyes off him, of the way his shoulders moved, the way his gaze showed so many emotions at once. He looked ethereal like this, like an angel sent straight down from heaven just to have sex with you. Biting down on your lip you now watched as he grabbed one of your legs and wrapped it around his waist just like before. Your excitement grew with every second, your arousal dripping onto the sheets at this point. Chan swallowed hard when he grabbed the base of his cock, finally lining himself up with you. He didn’t think he had ever wanted to fuck someone as bad as you right now.

Once his tip breached you, you breathed out hard, fingers back to digging into the sheets. Maybe watching him like this would be enough to get you off. Sweat already visible on his chest, the pleasure visible on his features as he sunk into you deeper.

“Fucking hell, god damnit-,” Chan grabbed your other leg, wrapping it around himself too, nails digging into your flesh. You groaned, back arching when you felt him inside you completely, his cock stretching you out, your walls hugging him tightly. He now leaned down, eyes boring into yours.

“You wanted to scratch my back, darling. Make that come true, won’t you?” he said with his deep voice, and you swallowed hard before nodding, your hands on his back. When he did his first thrust, you already knew this was not going to last long for you. He simply felt too good. Kissing you again, he continued thrusting, his cock hitting your sweet spot perfectly. Moaning, you threw your head back, the kisses moving onto your neck. He was full on fucking into you now, every movement perfect as if calculated. With every second that passed, you felt yourself nearing your orgasm, the desperately needed stress relief. Your nails were actually leaving marks on his back now, the pain shooting straight into his cock as he quickened his pace, face buried into your neck now, his moans reaching your ears making you clench around him.

You were perfect. He could just say it over and over again in his head. Every inch of you was sexy and made him want you more, his cock feeling like it was at home right there inside of you. The wet heat of your pussy making him see a whole new universe behind his eyes.

Picking up the pace again, he sat up, your hands dropping down to his ass, pushing him even closer, Chan’s head now falling backwards as he fucked into you at a new angle.

“How are you this perfect, fuck, you’re so good for me, such a good baby, shit,” Chan’s voice was breathy and hot, and you bit your lip, wishing this moment wouldn’t end because looking at him felt like a privilege. And it was because you knew you couldn’t do this again. You had to stay true to your newly made rule.

“Chan, I’m so close,” you cried out then and he reached down, thumb pressing down on your clit, eyes studying you as you practically screamed, his cock hitting you right there and the pressure on your clit…

“Come for me, sweetheart, wanna see you come on my cock so fucking bad,” his voice, mixed with the way his chest glistened in sweat and the movements of his hips brought you over the edge. You let out something like a squeak, not sure what the hell was happening when all of a sudden your whole body shook and your back arched from the bed, fingers digging into his lower back as you came hard, Chan fucking you through it – only to be surprised the next second. His eyes widened when he felt the wetness, when he saw the big stain forming underneath you, juices dripping down your body.

“Oh my g-god, fu-fuck,” Chan’s eyes rolled back just then, the thought of you squirting on his bed quick to make him spill all of his cum into the condom in three seconds.

“Chan!” you called out his name when you felt him twitch inside you, aftershocks of your orgasm making its way through you. Exhaustion and satisfaction filled your mind just then, Chan now collapsing on top of you, cock still smugly buried inside you. He felt like he hadn’t cum this hard ever, really.

You stayed like this for a bit, both of you too exhausted to actually move. It was nice though, feeling him this close, smelling his scent and knowing this was what he smelled like after sex. Your head felt like it was full of clouds, cotton even.

“Feeling more relaxed now, hm?” Chan lifted his head, his smirk from before traded to an honest and cute smile that made you smile too.

“Yeah… sorry about that,” you chuckled, but he shook his head and leaned down to kiss your cheek.

“Please, there is nothing to apologize for, Y/N,” he said, his happy smile turning even wider. You caressed his face, kissing him softly, before looking down and back at his face. He understood. Giving you the cutest nervous laugh ever, he rolled off of you and sat up, eyes widening again at the stain you had left. Clearing your throat you also sat up, your elbows propped up behind you.

“Uh, sorry about that?” You grinned, but Chan shook his head rapidly again.

“God no, that was the hottest thing that has ever happened to me, Y/N.”

Giggling, you managed to sit up completely, watching Chan take off the condom and tying it shut.

“Hold on, I’ll get you something to clean up!” He said as he got up from the bed, hurrying to the bathroom you figured was right where yours was. Only now did it click that fucking your neighbor might not have been the best decision, considering you didn’t intend to do it again. You let out a small sigh, pulling a hand through your hair and getting up from the bed. When your feet hit the floor you felt a bit dizzy, probably courtesy to the intense orgasm you just had.

Chan came back a moment later, handing you a wet towel with a warm smile. He also carried a fresh shirt that he put on his desk chair and his own frame was now adorned by a new pair of briefs. You thanked him for both the towel and the shirt and cleaned your thighs, watching how he already began to get the sheets of his bed. You felt your cheeks heat up. This hadn’t been your first time and yet… it always left some bit of shame inside your stupid head. Shaking the thought off, you looked at Chan who looked as if he knew exactly what you had been thinking. He threw the dirty sheets into the laundry basket next to his closet and walked over to you after, his hands grabbing yours.

“Y/N,” he began, “I am assuring you, this was absolutely fine, Jesus, even more than fine! I loved it, it literally made me cum. Like, instantly! This isn’t a bad thing, this is normal and amazing and yeah it stains sheets and maybe even mattresses but so what!” He was so incredibly cute, you couldn’t help but kiss him. One hand on his face, the other still wrapped in his. Chan was only caught off guard for a second before he kissed you back, melting into your touch.

Stop this right now, you sick, sick girl!

You parted from him right away. The voice in your head really had the perfect timing.

“I should go to the bathroom,” you quickly said, squeezing his hand and finally grabbing the shirt from the chair and pulling it over your head (Chan felt like dying when he saw you in his clothes). You walked out of the bedroom and to the bathroom, peeing and washing your hands and face, looking at yourself for only a second before going back out – this time allowing yourself to roam the room. Now you noticed the couch and the carpet, the art and the end table. And the family picture on the end table. Without thinking much about it, you reached for it, the smile that had formed on your lips when you saw a younger Chan with a funky haircut next to his parents faded when you caught a glimpse of the other younger male standing next to, probably, their mother.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” you breathed out.

header credit: @playmetheclassics

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Good Design is usable. Great Design helps with Usability and Disability (with a side rant about why AI sucks yet again)

So I've been seeing hot takes from authors and writers lately about typography and I've been correcting them about typography rules and some designers are sticking out their heads going, how dare you even speak such a thing. Design is about being...

~*~PRETTY~*~

and seriously, screw that. How poor were your graphic design teachers and professors that you only think type is about being Pretty?

No, the rules for type are there for a reason, but if you can't state that reason I'm going to doubt you as a graphic designer entirely and that you had some crap professors who didn't bother to learn it either, and you know how I feel about passing down bad information.

Look, as a writer and graphic designer, and all of those things, trained both formally and informally, I can tell you that if you do GREAT typography, if you really put thought into it, you can help with disability too. So when you argue to me, that design is only there to be pretty, I'm going to call you effing ableist.

I mean even in my Scrivener document I put in fonts that help with dyslexia. That is GREAT design when you can help with disability seamlessly.

I'm saying as artists, we have a duty to respect other artists, and try to at least understand their rules and reasons why. It's like writers backstabbing artists by using AI.

99% of typography isn't about being "pretty" 99% of typography helps with disability. So stop fucking with the rules without understanding any of it. Type looks easy nowadays with the internet and people not bothering with typography anymore and seeing rivers and lakes all over the place, but that doesn't mean it's automatically "better" because it's "easier".

Typography in its purest form—I found that of all of my art classes that I took the most difficult to understand and do, because I knew that doing it well will help people, doing it poorly and everyone notices. Which is why I say it is ice skating of graphic design.

Do you, as a writer, need to understand every single last rule? No, but I will say that learning typography forced me to understand that I shouldn't be falling back on bold, italics, etc and I should absolutely do more to choose my words more carefully. If you're going to break a rule, at least take the time to understand it.

For this reason, this is why I miss formal typographers in the publishing industry. Because I want to look out for the people who are also disabled in this world.

And this is also why AI sucks. I've never seen an AI image that understands the nuances of human feelings around art and design. Gasoline Pasta? really? A stone oven that looks like a pile of shit that is not remotely historically accurate. Please no.

An AI that knows and can spot disability issues in a problem posed to it? No, I had to effing coach it. You know what humans can do that AI can't all of those things. And this is why great typography helps people with disabilities.

[blackjackkent]

new here so "this is the kind of life i always dreamed about." for whoever fits? :3c excited to read your stuff!!

(Prompts for Found Families)

:D Aw, thanks! Gonna go back on my Hector/Karlach fluff-and-angst train bc it never stops running. XD

-----

With a grunt, Karlach tugs at her shirt, feeling it stick against her abdomen. "Damn. Really painted ourselves up this time, huh?"

It's not really an exaggeration. The battles in the Steel Watcher foundry were brutal ordeals, some of the most intense fights they've had since reaching the city. While Jaheira has healed the worst of their actual wounds, the evidence still remains; both Karlach's clothes and Hector's are soaked in blood.

Hector gives her a sideways look. "You sound almost pleased about it."

She grins crookedly. "Occupational hazard of the front line, Soldier. We're alive and the bad guys aren't; can't ask for more than that." She nudges him in the ribs. "You were really good in there, y'know."

He has looked more than a little troubled ever since his encounter with Gortash's horrifying arrangement of Watcher brains, so she's pleased to see him smile. "Oh, was I?"

"Mm. Always love watching a master at work." She winks. "Gets me thinking about what else those hands can do when they're not punching out cultists..."

"All right, all right, enough of that," Jaheira breaks in briskly, slapping Karlach's arm. She rolls her eyes, but she's grinning, so the chastisement loses some of its edge. "Enough mooning about; go clean yourselves up. Even in the rank depths of this city, such a great deal of blood is likely to draw attention."

-----

There's a secluded spot at the river's edge next to the foundry pier. When she's sure they're sufficiently out of sight, Karlach tugs her shirt off with a satisfied grunt and lets it fall onto the surface of the water. Hector's lands next to it, and they watch as slow lines of red begin to drift off of the fabric like spreading ink, flowing downstream in the nearly imperceptible current.

"I could really do with a proper bath," Hector says wearily, sitting down in the dirt at the edge of the water. "But that will have to wait till we get back to the Elfsong." He picks up a nearby stick and prods at the shirts to agitate them.

Karlach flops down next to him and stretches out with a contented sigh. Her head rests gently against his hip. "Gods, that's proper luxury, though, after all we've been through," she says teasingly. "Just going to go back to our rooms and draw a bath. Spot of tea afterwards perhaps. All posh and proper."

He chuckles. "Very true. As always, you remind me to count my blessings."

She lets her eyes drift half-closed, listening to the bustle of the city beyond the foundry wall. "Y'know, this is the kind of life I always dreamed about," she mumbles abruptly.

She can hear Hector's smile. "Really? Washing blood out of your clothes in the harbor? That was the dream?" He dips one hand into the water, then flicks his fingers gently so droplets spatter her face.

She yelps and sticks her tongue out at him. "Well, I don't mean this specifically. Although I'd never have said no to sitting about with a hot guy with his shirt off." She reaches up to poke him in the stomach, and grins seeing him squirm and blush.

"No, I just mean..." She rattles her lips in an outward breath, thinking. "Being back here, in the city. With someone I love. Friends around. Busy day, important work to do. A home to go back to, of a sort." She cracks a slight grin. "Laundry."

He listens in silence, running his fingers in slow, gentle motions through her hair.

"I used to dream about the river, y'know," she goes on after a while, half to herself. "In Avernus. All curled up in my bunk, trying to hold onto what the real world was like, and who the fuck I even was. I was so fucking scared I'd forget..."

A pause. "This river, I mean," she adds. "The Chionthar. Avernus has the Styx, but it's not the same. Water's hot and smells like blood, even when there's no blood in it, which there is most of the time. I dreamed about going swimming in the Outer City. Skipping stones. Everything simple and easy and clean, and the water cold like ice..."

He considers this for a moment. Then he dips his hand into the water again and lifts it to rest, chilled and dripping, on her chest over the heat of her engine heart. She catches her breath, her eyes squeezing shut; goosebumps flare all over her body and she shivers pleasantly. "Perfect," she murmurs.

She knows the sound of his smile in his voice - knows it well enough, too, that she can hear the sadness mixed with it this time. "As good as the dreams?" he asks gently.

She opens her eyes and looks up at him, then presses her hand against his cheek, her thumb rubbing along the rough edge of his beard. "Never pictured you in any of the dreams, I'll tell you that," she says teasingly. "Tell young Karlach in Avernus - you'll shack up with a monk and go back to the city and save the world, and everything'll be a fucking mess but you'll be free and loved and home." She snorts, a little too sharply to cover the sudden tremble in her voice. "She'd've laughed in your face."

He turns his head to kiss her fingertips. "I wish I knew what was coming," he says softly. "I wish I could fix everything... I wish that more than anything in the world. But I'm so happy we could bring you home."

[chaosandgunpowder]

Will you be coming back to your fans?

I look occasionally hoping you’ll complete Plausible Deniability. But if you don’t. It’s a great reread and at least we know that they are on their way to a great place. Thank you!

Hello you! (I say specifically hello to you, as I know I've had a few in my inbox from you, and while I'll probably not go back and reply to them all, I want you to know I appreciate your check-ins!) but also hello to anyone else checking in on me.

Yes, I will be coming back. I'm aware it's been a hot minute, and trust me, I hate that as much as anyone else. Life is just...hectic as life can be. But I'm here, I'm still plugging away and I will be coming back. Last night I wrapped up in like 4 layers because I can't afford gas prices to heat my house and wrote like another 1k of chapter 11 and then I nearly cried because it's not done yet.

I don't know if that's positive news or not, but at least it means I'm not going anywhere until it's bloody done.

In that spirit, here's an exerpt under the cut. Thank you for sticking with me. It really is appreciated <3

Thomas nods and hmms and considers until Adams throws out an offhanded better to be spending time on this than on your poor, sinking French ship anyway and Thomas hates his own instinctive reaction to the obvious bait, but he just can’t help it.  “Sinking?” he asks, too-sharp and too-defensive even to his own ears. “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but that ship is sailing perfectly well, and damn near watertight, actually. Hamilton’s even on board.” Adams laughs, except it’s neither genial nor kind; it’s pitying and patronizing and it sets Thomas’s teeth on edge, and the way he leans forward eagerly, something flashing suddenly in his eyes feels like this is the crux of the matter; like like he’s started this entire damn conversation with the sole purpose of delivering this information like a prize in a cereal box full of bullshit that Thomas has had to sift through to get to. “Thomas, my boy,” he snorts, smugness dripping from every word. “I’ve heard directly from a reliable source that Hamilton’s already put the rusty nail in that coffin. He’s told George directly that it’s not viable. You’ve already been sold down the river.” Thomas is shaking his head before John is even finished, denial on his tongue, because he’s fucking sick of being spoken to like he doesn’t have a clue and that’s not how it is. “No. I don’t know where you heard that, but your source is incorrect. I’ve spoken to Hamilton.” Adams blinks at him for a second before his eyes narrow slightly, and he scoffs. “You can’t be serious, Thomas. You know fine well that you can’t trust him-”

(Plausible Deniability ch11. Note, may change very slightly in final editing!)

[peachysunrize]

More younger, more beautiful, more yours...

Pairing: Aemond X reader X Alys

A/n: I imagined Aemond to be around 28, the reader to be 23 and Alys to be around 40. I should have slept, but I lost sleep and ended up writing this, I don't know if it's very good, but I decided to share it with you (again)

Aemond has been engaged to Alys Rivers, a much older woman, for a few years. Until at a business dinner he meets Y/n, the daughter of one of the partners, and is enchanted by her. The girl is about 5 years younger than him, and is still in college, but he can't help but lay eyes on her and also can't keep his hands to himself.

It starts off as a subtle thing, small talk whenever he sees her and small compliments, which slowly evolve into light touches and expensive gifts. Y/n feels enchanted by him, even though she has seen him everywhere with the fiancée that everyone says is scary Alys Rivers.

One day, returning from work, Aemond sees her standing in the rain and stops the car, calling her to get in.

-My phone ran out of battery and I lost track of my driver in all this rain. - She whimpered and Aemond felt a slight twinge below his waist.

-It's okay my dear, I'll take care of you.

And with the protest of letting her dry off since his house was closer, Aemond took her to his own apartment with a smile on his face.

(...)

Already in the apartment, Y/n was naked in Aemond's room, drying herself with one of the white, fluffy towels with her back to the door when he came in unannounced. And pretending not to notice his presence, Y/n dropped the towel and bent down to pick it up, sticking her ass out and leaving her own intimacy exposed to him.

-Your pussy is wetter than a whore in heat. - Aemond's rough voice sounded, making the hairs on the back of Y/n's neck stand on end.

Y/n sighed and turned towards him at the same time covering herself again. She just wanted to tease him, she thought he would turn around and leave, she didn't expect him to do anything about it.

-I'm sorry. - She said awkwardly as she pressed her thighs together.

-I can take care of that for you. - He shrugged. - Just lie down on the bed and spread your legs wide for me.

-You have a fiancée! - She protested.

-She won't mind. - He smiled and nodded towards the bed. - Spread those legs for me and I'll take care of you.

And unable to contain herself, Y/n let the towel fall to the floor once more and jumped onto the bed, opening her legs for him. Unceremoniously, he climbed onto the bed and placed himself between her legs, opening her with his long fingers and gently sucking her wet clitoris.

-So fucking sweet... just like I imagined. - He murmured against her pussy as he ate her deeper and deeper, making Y/N sigh. Aemond then smiled and stuck two long, thin fingers inside Y/N without warning, curling them at the same time, almost making her scream.

Little by little Aemond tore off his own clothes, leaving himself completely naked as he sucked and fingered her in a steady rhythm.

-What a delicious little pussy, so tight and wet.

-Aemond, are you sure your fiancée won't mind? - The girl asked between gasps and moans as she held Aemond's head against her own intimacy.

-Absolutely. - He answered quickly, already going back to sucking her pussy hungrily, as if he had been starving for days while Y/n moaned and writhed without control over her own body.

-So sweet to me, beautiful girl. - He murmured against the skin of her belly, trailing wet kisses along the fluids of her intimacy.

-Will you let me fuck that pussy for you? - He sucked one of her nipples and nibbled on it. - I'm going to fuck you so good, I promise you'll like it.

And still with tears of pleasure running down her face Y/n nodded positively in anticipation.

-yes please fuck me! - She whimpered at him.

-That's what I like to hear. - He slapped her bare thigh. - Begging to be fucked like a good girl.

And fulfilling his own desires and hers, Aemond slowly penetrated Y/na's pussy, making her moan and pull him even closer by his silver hair as she begged for his name.

-You're so hot. - He growled at the first thrust. - So tight. - He bit her neck, thrusting even harder. - What a fucking wet, hot pussy.

Each thrust he punctuated by growling and panting a filthy word in Y/n's ear, extracting more and more pleasure from her. Until the door opened, making Y/n hold her breath and try to pull away from Aemond in shock, while he held her even tighter, fucking her.

-Aemond! What are you doing? - Alys asked, standing at the door, staring at the scene before her in shock.

-We both knew this day would come. - He panted heavily as he continued to roughly fuck y/n's pussy who moaned uncontrollably even though she was burning with shame as she tried to close her legs seeing Alys standing in the doorway. - That I would want to fuck a younger and tighter pussy than yours.

Y/n didn't know why, but hearing him say such terrible things made her back lift off the mattress as she moaned and cried in a powerful orgasm.

-That's right, good girl. - He murmured, rubbing her swollen clitoris a little and making her mouth open in a gasp.

-Come here and see this pussy. - He called the bride as he left the interior of y/n, making her stand out in surprise.

And to Y/n's complete shock, Alys approached her, making her squeeze her legs together to hide from her frightening eyes. Aemond pulled her legs tightly, making her open them once more, and when the older woman brought her fingers to her wetness and caressed her, Y/n held her breath, biting her lips with the overstimulation. And when Alys stuck three fingers at once inside her pussy, the girl moaned and arched her back.

-Her pussy looks like mine when I was younger. - Alys sighed in satisfaction, fucking her slowly with her fingers, and shocking the woman even more, she opened her large lips using the fingers of both hands and stuck her head between her thighs, sucking her firmly and sticking her tongue inside, making her shudder with pleasure.

-So good, so good. - She cried in despair, clinging to the sheets as she felt Alys' tongue going deeper and deeper, just like Aemond's minutes ago.

-Fuck her more Aemond. - Alys begged with her lips still against Y/n's pussy. - I want to drink your seed from inside her.

The younger woman's hips rose from the bed upon hearing that as she nodded her head in agreement.

And with a mischievous smile on his lips, Aemond returned to the previous position, penetrating her pussy in one go and fucking her even harder.

Alys watched for a few moments as his cock entered and left Y/n's pussy, and without saying anything, she sucked her clitoris diligently, then licked the part of Aemond's cock that came out and went back inside Y/n, making him grunt with pleasure and curse filthy words.

With a smile, the older woman removed her own clothes under Y/n's gaze, clouded with pleasure, and with a quick movement, climbed onto the bed, lying down with her legs open and pulling Y/n onto her lap, caressing her nipples and kissing her neck. With each firm thrust from Aemond, Y/n felt her own ass rubbing the wetness of Alys' pussy.

The older woman lowered one of her hands and began to caress and massage Y/n's sensitive area, drawing more and more pleasure from her, who grunted and writhed between the two. And when Aemond suddenly stopped his movements, Y/n looked confused, almost crying with frustration as she was on the verge of orgasm.

-Be good now, pretty girl. - He caressed her lips, leaving a kiss there and then sucking one of her nipples.

Then Y/n noticed what Aemond was doing. He pulled her up further to gain access to Alys' pussy, and when he finally did, he penetrated her with Y/n's body between them. With each thrust of Aemond's, Alys moaned in her ear and squeezed her breasts tightly, and with each thrust Aemond's belly hit Y/n's clitoris, making her shudder.

-Do you like this, beautiful girl? - Aemond smiled like a beast at Y/n and she just nodded positively, sighing and moaning with each pressure on her sensitive button.

When Alys came she pinched Y/n's nipples so hard it almost hurt, and soon after Aemond stuck his cock in the younger girl's pussy again.

-I'm going to cum in your pussy, sweet Y/n. - He moaned, looking into her eyes. - And only in yours from now on. I can even use her pussy, but my cum is only for your hot, tight little pussy.

-Yes! Yes! Please! Give me your cum! I want it so much. - She cried and writhed with overstimulation, and with a firm thrust from Aemond Y/n came being held by Alys in place while the older woman caressed her thighs and belly in soothing gestures.

And feeling Y/n's pussy milking him so hard during orgasm, Aemond's resistance went to hell and he came like he had never come in his entire life, painting Y/n's inner walls pearly white.

Y/n stood there pressed between Alys's body and Aemond's body, barely able to breathe and feeling like a slut, but the best fucked slut in Westeros.

-I still want to drink your seed from inside her Aemond. - Alys's voice sounded close to Y/n's ear and she felt her own pussy twitch around Aemond's cock just at that thought.

TUCKED BETWEEN A HOT SEXY UNHINGED COUPLE IS ALL I NEED OMFG MISS GURL IS LIVING THE MOST PERFECT LIFE🙏🏻🙏🏻😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bestie this was oooowksoajzoan SO HOT SOOOOOOO FUCKING GOOD IM BLUSHING

[waltwhitmansbeard]

a my fair lady playlist

a year ago today i posted the first chapter of my fair lady, which was supposed to be a little thing that i just needed to get out of my head after reading @romeoandjulietyouwish's for the love of a princess. 144 chapters and one year of obsession later, what i got is my biggest writing project to date. it was also my first real foray into the cr fandom, which has since become, frankly, the biggest part of my life, and i'm just endlessly grateful to each of you who read and interacted with mfl in any way. i'm so lucky to have gotten to share this with all of you.

so to celebrate, i have assembled a way-too-long playlist inspired by the events of mfl. the songs represent the moments and feelings that most stood out to me (or that i could find an appropriate song for, lol). it was fun trying to remember everything that happened (as of rn the entire fic is 450 pages in google docs so...there's a lot) and piece together the story through song. i've written a little blurb to justify each choice in the cut below, but you can listen to the playlist on spotify here! thanks again for sticking around!

1. "My Fair Lady" - KALEO as the song from which i took all the titles for the series, i couldn't not start off with this one. i can't even hear this song now without thinking of mfl.

2. "Security" - Joss Stone since this is a song about being there for a friend in a time of crisis, i thought it was the perfect choice for the beginning of keyleth and percy's lifelong friendship. percy showed up in zephrah traumatized and barely holding it together, and keyleth was the rock that kept him from collapsing.

3. "Best of Friends" - Pearl Bailey marisha put this one on one of her keyleth playlists to represent keyleth and percy, and she was right! is there any better song for those two growing up as best friends?

4. "Fountain" - Sara Lov keyleth grew up under the shadow of her mother's loss and the pressure of a nation's expectations. someone give this child a BREAK!

5. "Uptown Girl" - Billy Joel oh, you think this is about vax and keyleth? WRONG. percy is an uptown girl and vex is his downtown man coming to shake his world.

6. "Stay Awake" - London Grammar how many nights did keyleth and vax stay up with the moon, learning to love each other? who did they become with no one but the shadows and each other to watch them grow?

7. "goodnight n go" - Ariana Grande this song just gives me such intense vex vibes. she wants so bad to get percy out from under her skin but no dice, he's there to stay.

8. "Foolish Thing" - Darren Criss vax knows that he absolutely cannot be catching feelings for the princess for any number of reasons. but that doesn't stop him from being a dumbfuck in love!

9. "Sacrilege" - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs keyleth knows that she absolutely cannot be catching feelings for her guard for any number of reasons. but that doesn't stop her from being a dumbfuck in love!

10. "You Get Me" - Michelle Branch even though she grew up royalty, keyleth never felt like she fit in in her own world. she was always different, out of place. but vax sees her strange edges and knows the shape they make.

11. "Dreams" - Caroline Glaser keyleth is down bad! she can't sleep without vax there, and vax is more than happy to reassure her that she's it for him.

12. "Take Me to Church" - Hozier this is my pick for some night just seem forever lasting, because if there's one thing vax is gonna do it's worship on his knees at keyleth's altar.

13. "Holy" - King Princess keyleth is busy with a nation and a war but she has time at the end of the day to fuck her man, and that's what really matters.

14. "Into You" - Ariana Grande this one is for the true sluts of the castle, vex and percy. stay horny, you absolute lovesick fools.

15. "River of Tears" - Alessia Cara just absolute depression and forlorn longing from vax and keyleth both when they're forced to be apart. drama queens, the both of them.

16. "The Lightning Strike (Part I: What If This Storm Ends?)" - Snow Patrol remember that time keyleth summoned lightning and used it to strike a bunch of attackers dead? so do i, and so does vax. it was his first time being confronted with the possibilities of the wild power she wields, and it definitely isn't something he was ever going to forget.

17. "Rich Youth" - Hayley Kiyoko keyleth and tiberius were both raised in the shadow of powerful fathers, and they came together to advocate for a future that represents the nations they want to lead.

18. "My Immortal" - Evanescence thank you to @ravendruid for the suggestion! does anything say vaxleth more than melodramatic longing? this song is for all the lingering heartbreak as they tried (and ultimately failed) to stay apart for so long.

19. "I Don't Mind" - Darren Criss one of my favorite pieces of writing from mfl was keyleth's proposal to vax. he's so convinced that she'd be better off without him, and all she wants to do is convince him that he's worth all the trouble waiting them.

20. "Love Story" - Taylor Swift forgive me for adding taylor swift to this list but you gotta admit, it's very appropriate for the vaxleth wedding.

21. "Dancing in the Rain" - Johannes Bornlöf let me be indulgent! this is the song i picked to play while reading the wedding chapter, so ofc it makes the list.

22. "The Deal" - Mitski thank you to @crispysnake for the suggestion! i mean, this is absolutely vax carrying his dead wife's body beneath the castle and striking a deal with the raven queen to bring her back. it's like it's what the song was written for.

23. "Castle" - Halsey just big keyleth charging to the throne room to demand her father release vax energy with this one.

24. "Growing, Growing, Gone" - Theo Katzman korrin was confronted very suddenly with the reality that his little girl wasn't a little girl anymore. she has a whole life ahead of her that is outside of him, and that's hard for a dad to come to terms with.

25. "Kiki (feat. Iron and Wine)" - Rett Madison y'all, the way i SCREAMED when i first heard this song on rett's new album!!! i just imagine vilya trying to reach out to keyleth, to let her know that she's been watching and of course, of course she's proud of her, of course she approves of vax, of course she wants nothing more than for her baby girl to happy.

26. "Wildflowers (Tom Petty Cover)" - Miley Cyrus this song makes me thing of the little cottage on the hill, and of korrin's wish for his daughter to have a place where she feels free. he knows that the castle has never really felt like her home, and so he gives her and her new husband a place they can build a home for themselves.

27. "Bubbly" - Colbie Caillat this song is just the pinnacle of happy love. it's vax and keyleth waking up in their bed, in their house, in their love's arms. it's happiness.

28. "Sunday Morning" - Maroon 5 remember that time vex was like "this was fun but i gotta go home" and percy was like "but what if i was home?" and fluttered his lashes like a harlot? me too.

29. "Family Tree" - Matthew West pending fatherhood is terrifying, especially when your own father is a sack of shit. of course vax would doubt his own ability to be for his child what syldor couldn't be for him and vex.

30. "A Woman's Work" - Kate Bush the definitive anthem for women creating life. keyleth is a goddess for so many reason but especially for making a literal person.

31. "Dear Theodosia" - Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton just DAD feelings up in this bitch! vax is a dad and korrin is a dad and percy (eventually) is a dad! also there's a new nation coming just around the corner! the perfect song!

32. "Brother Run Fast" - KALEO to me, this song represents vax and percy's understanding that the horrors of percy's past are coming for vax's present, and the two of them will stop at nothing to fix what was broken. they are both desperate for forgiveness they do not need, and they are both determined to keep the other on course.

33. "Yours & Mine" - Lucy Dacus imagine telling keyleth of the air ashari to sit at home while her family and friends venture out to save her daughter's life. IMAGINE!

34. "Trials - Demo" - London Grammar what is keyleth and vax's relationship if not an endless gauntlet of trials from which they must continually find their way back to each other?

35. "Delilah" - Florence + the Machine this song is just...everything. it's delilah and sylas. it's cass and the ghosts of the castle she's caged in. it's vilya, crying out for her mother. it's keyleth, coming to kick ass with a daylight spell. it's percy, reclaiming what was his all along.

36. "Show Me the Way" - Styx vax went THRU IT during gocmh, and his turning to the raven queen was a move of absolute desperation. he needed his matron's guidance not only to get his daughter back, but to put the pieces of his life back together.

37. "Glory and Gore" - Lorde what can i say? vox machina fucks shit up.

38. "Work Song" - Hozier percy may die twice but that ain't gonna stop him from simping for vex.

39. "Happiness" - The Fray this song is about happiness, but it has such a melancholic sound to it, which really works for baby vilya's return to zephrah. yes she's home, which is an immense relief, but she's brought home to a tragedy. nothing is simple.

40. "Kingdom of One" - Maren Morris hey vallen: get fucked.

41. "Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)" - Billy Joel this is, to me, the ultimate father-daughter song, and in the context of mfl it makes me think of the unfinished letter keyleth found in her father's room after his death. just a reminder that even after someone dies, their love for those they leave behind never will.

42. "Starts With Goodbye" - Carrie Underwood i don't know what it's like to fundamentally reshape the structure of an entire nation in order to secure a more stable future for your child, but i imagine it feels like this!

43. "Matchstick" - American Royalty thank you to @ravendruid for the suggestion! sometimes self-care is setting the man who murdered your parents and helped kidnap your daughter on fire.

44. "Chords" - The Amazing Devil parents play such a big part in the story of mfl. the absence of keyleth's mother, the fact that her father is also a king, korrin being a father to percy, the twins confronting the father they fled, and of course, vaxleth and perc'ahlia becoming parents themselves. if there's anything they can take away from all of the heartbreak, it's wanting the best for their children, at the cost of everything else.

45. "Everywhere, Everything" - Noah Kahan had to end on some noah kahan in order to keep @crispysnake from gnawing at the bars of their enclosure. again, just the absolute vaxleth melodrama of "wanna love you til we're food for the worms to eat, til our fingers decompose." disgusting. i love them so much.

[morgana-ren]

If your bastard three (or four) were in BG, what would their journey be like? Who they romancing, who they siding with in the big decisions? Any companions actually sticking with them to the end? Who's getting it on with Harleep??

We already know what Astarion is like! Unless you mean special Nightmare-ascended Astarion.

Well, Reaver is fucking anyone and everyone. Anyone he can. Gale, Shadowheart, Karlach, Withers, doesn't matter. He's going to try his charms on everyone and see who he can get into his bedroll. If they don't go for it, he's spending the evenings at the local tavern or brothel. He's not romancing anyone, but he'll fuck the skin off everyone unless Tav happens to be real fucking special. And I mean real fucking special.

Also, he will not rough it in the wild. Absolutely not. Reaver does not sleep in the dirt on the floor and eat two day old rat. He will not inconvenience himself at all. He's b-lining to the nearest merchant, killing them, amassing wealth, and living as lavishly as possible as quickly as possible. To hell with the tieflings and the grove. To hell with all of it. Get the worm out of his head, he has whores to attend to.

He will immediately retain the drow twins for personal use. And probably most of the whores. Harleep? Oh yeah. Free game. He will ask Harleep to take his form, though. Maybe himself, maybe a female version of himself. Whatever he's feeling at the time.

Raphael would have literally no use for him because he already sold his soul. Reaver would make obnoxious jokes about it and probably annoy Raphael into fucking off. Reaver would rob him anyway and then put an arrow through his eye.

Speaking of, there's no real guns in Baldur's Gate, which will annoy the everloving fuck out of him, but he happens to be a dab hand with a bow and anything else he can throw. He can shoot an arrow through a fly's wings a mile away with complete accuracy every time. It's completely unfair. He can make trivial work of almost anything if it's vulnerable to headshots in any way.

Do not count on him doing the right thing simply because it's the right thing. He would take Gortash's offer up like that if Nightmare wouldn't smack him. If the others bribed him enough, they could get him to do anything. He'd sell out humanity until you pointed out that there'd be no whores or castles or fine foods and wine in a mindflayer world. You have to make it about him and his selfish desires to get him to act in any way. Trying to get him to kill the goblin camp with you or any of the other heroic deeds is a chore. You might be able to bribe him with sex (if sex is what you can call what it would take to get him off his arse-- and into yours) or talk him into it by pointing out that he can rob valuable items and acquire power and prestige.

I think most of the companions beside Astarion would find Reaver absolutely abhorrent and would leave his side. Maybe Lae'zel would stick around-- until he started slaughtering Githyanki left and right because they tried to remove his head. He doesn't brook disrespect, and that would be the final straw.

"Oh, you can't help me? And you're insulting me? Oh, and you're in my way? Time to die! Tatty-bye! Say hello to your repugnant queen for me! Or better yet, don't."

Karlach would get piss poor vibes from him from the get-to and would end up leaving the second he did some abhorrent shit. Same with Wyll. Shadowheart would find him vile but might be a bit more willing to tough it out because he's useful... for a while. Gale finds him repugnant and crass. Astarion and Reaver might actually get on quite well because they have similar senses of humor and motivations.

It might be different if the others were there to rein him in, but Reaver on his own? Wretched company, licentious and vile and utterly self-centered. If you're Tav, he's going to try to sleep with you and sail you down the river the second it's convenient unless he starts to take a liking to you.

Nighty is going to be whoever and whatever will get everyone in the group around his finger. He's a powerful healer and cleric (far more than Shadowheart) so he will be a part of the main group constantly. He refuses to lay about, so he will be coming. Truthfully, he's capable of pretending to be a devout and honest cleric throughout the entire time with no one even having an inkling of the Baneite that lies beneath, but for simplicities sake, let's say he allows himself to truly be himself for one reason or another.

Nightmare is going to probably romance... no one. He will actually really like and respect Wyll, despite the fact that Wyll will be repulsed by him. Karlach won't like him at all but she will remind him of his brother Gehenna, so he's going to be very... weird around her (Gehenna is also a very large red tiefling with one horn who was a fighter for the hells, so Karlach is essentially a female version of him [we love and respect Gege in this house. I adore Gege.]) He is actually interested in Gale but he makes Gale nervous and he finds his morals reprehensible. I think Shadowheart would have a rocky relationship with on theological differences alone. She annoys him and he finds her trite and foolish. Lae'zel respects his strength and would probably make a move on him, but he would dodge that immediately.

(He likes his women soft and clever and spiteful and Lae'zel, simply put, is too brash and strong for him. She's too good for him, frankly.)

As for Tav, it depends per Tav. If Tav met his standards, he's not opposed to... 'starting' something. Sort of. Honestly, it really depends per Tav. Hope for Tav's sake that they don't.

He's immensely powerful and would actually, despite the fact he is wretched, be a massive asset to the group. He can make major confrontations seem like nothing. He's good with a rapier and favors lightning magic. He can heal fatal wounds. He can resurrect without Withers. He's remarkably intelligent and cunning and would be able to plot around anything they couldn't kill. He can actually be encouraged to do things selflessly (for selfish reasons.)

He has a kinship with his race. He would save the grove and act like a father figure to the tieflings (especially the young children) and it is strange for the rest of the group to watch. Suddenly he turns into the most incredible man ever, and it's super uncanny. He would ensure they reached Baldur's Gate safely and make sure they got settled. He would find the children homes and stable lives and make sure they had the money to survive. No more stealing for Mol and the other orphans. He'd see to paying for their education and ensuring their future. Kagha is killed immediately for threatening a child. He doesn't even speak to her. Just electrocutes her to death on the spot.

Same with Raphael once Nightmare sees him speaking to Mol and trying to swindle her soul. He would rip his head clean off his shoulders on the spot, and has the power to do it. That is if he isn't the king of hell. If he is.... Raphael is going to wish he could die.

If there's children involved, he can always be counted on to do 'the right thing.' He's likely to butcher every Sharran he meets because of how they harmed children in Raithewait and the way they are stolen from their loving homes. Their theological differences alone are grounds for death, but Nightmare does not abide child cruelty.

Haarlep is a filthy whore and a succubus, and he doesn't lay with filth. When Nightmare sleeps with someone, they mean something to him usually (not always, but especially in his 'older' age, he's very prudish and strict with his body and morals until he finds someone he wants to abuse for a long time) and the succubus means nothing. Death for Haarlep for daring to proposition him.

He has a fucking gripe with Gortash. If Bane forbids his death, Nightmare will listen, but to put it simply, he is jealous that he was not Bane's chosen. He's going to undermine him every step of the way without deliberately stepping on toes and disobeying orders. The Baneites under Gortash's command, however, would yield to Nightmare.

Basically, things get very complicated because he has a stake in this. His God is behind this whole thing. Once he saw that the Bhaalists and Myrkulites were planning to betray Bane, he would have to act-- and not necessarily in the group's favor. He could be talked into saving the world if it was pointed out to him that the grand design would essentially ruin Bane's apotheosis, because no souls means no God. He is not a fan of mindflayers or their scheme, and wouldn't really give a shit which side, whether it was the emperor or the Gith Comet prince, accomplished it. Only that they did. He will not be becoming part mind flayer.

(Being hailed as a savior and a hero would also stroke his massive ego, so he'd love that.)

Ilya is interesting. He's a bit more subtle than the other two, but a lot of it is because he doesn't care much for the situation. This world is strange and different and he doesn't quite understand it. He would do what he had to to find out what the hell was happening, and then act as he saw fit.

The companions... Well, to put it nicely, he gives them the spooks. He creeps them out. He's beautiful, but there's something off about him. He is soft spoken and respectful but there's just this lingering feeling of dread around him. Like you're sleeping next to a monster in human form. He's too quietly gleeful about battle and blood and for a man that seems so subtle, he's far, far too good at it. He can take over a meeting and plan a masterful strategy, and will just say he's 'good at logistics' when that's obviously bullshit. Anyone with a military background could sniff him out.

Astarion would probably enjoy him on a base level, but would also catch on that something was wrong. He might think to seduce Ilya, but would probably inevitably end up thinking better of it. Ilya might find Shadowheart pretty temporarily, but I feel like she has sharp instincts and would keep far, far away from him. Karlach would notice he reeked of the hells, even if he would never admit it, and she would not trust him.

If any of them did fall for his beautiful face, they would learn very quickly that what he wants in bed isn't what they bargained for, and he is hellish. He prefers someone he can have total control over and can abuse on his whims, so sleeping with the companions is something he'd try to avoid. He might whore around a bit, but it's not quite what he wants, and it doesn't scratch the itch. He demands to be obeyed and treated like a prince-- because he is one. Most of them aren't submissive enough for him, and he cannot break them as they are of use. He'd fuck concubines or whores to keep from getting pent up, but he would be counting the days until he could do what he wanted. Sex and pleasure in general is a big motivator for Ilya, so part of getting all of this overwith is getting back to his normal life.

The most likely is Tav (depending per Tav) and if he took an interest, he would keep an eye on her and try to worm his way in throughout the journey, and try to keep her attention and admiration, but she wouldn't get to know the real Ilya until it was too late and he had her isolated and under his thumb. He's a devil and remarkably crafty, so he would make himself seem essential to her and get her in a position where she needed his help-- even if he had to orchestrate that situation himself. He would manipulate her slowly throughout the journey and act once all the companions had dispersed. Doesn't need them getting in the way.

He's fine with roughing it in the wilds with the group. It reminds him of his youth. He knows a lot about survival and crafting, but he would still insist on his robes and jewelry. You'll find him brushing his long hair every morning before painstakingly braiding it and tucking it beneath his trademark hat. He washes his robe every evening and is very tidy with his things. He keeps books around for mental stimulation and would often try to make conversation with the others, although the topics would be strange and almost clinical and methodic.

He's very good with most weapons and also quite good with magic. His magic is hellish and powerful so he'd have to rein it in or else people would start asking questions. He'd favor a spear and would keep a bow handy, but usually he would prefer stealth. He'll hurl a spell or seven if the whim hits him, but to keep others from asking uncomfortable questions, he'd try to stick mostly to weapons. He'd probably claim to be a charismatic arcane trickster, but Gale would end up calling bullshit because no rogue is capable of those spells.

His loyalty is currently to the hells, so since this entire affair throws a stick in their cogs, he would need to ensure the entire plot was destroyed. The last thing he wants is all mortals turned into mind flayers, because then he's out of a job and no longer going to live the cushy life he craves. He'll do what he needs to do to clean this whole mess up, but much like Reaver, you're really going to have to bribe him if you want him to go out of his way. Yes, sure, he will help the tieflings or whatever. Yes, we can blow up moonrise, my dear. Let us hurry to Baldur's Gate, simply kill this Gortash and Orin and be done with it.

He would know Raphael on a first name basis, and would commend his whole little effort to overthrow the arch devils. Whether or not he ruins that plot depends on what he feels is going to benefit him. If he thinks his life will be better with Raphael in charge (or Raphael offers him something worth it) he would keep out of his way. Ilya doesn't want the throne of hell. He just wants to enjoy his little pleasures on the mortal plane and be left mostly alone. If Raphael would allow that, he might even work with him.

He would fuck Haarlep. Easy. Ilya likes succubuses from time to time. He prefers mortals, but giving that his pickings are slim, he would have Haarlep turn into a weepy, soft mortal girl and oblige him for a few hours. I hope Raphael has handcuffs and chains and other... paraphernalia. If he doesn't, that's fine. Ilya brought his own.

Ultimately, Ilya is going to enjoy his little 'vacation' and think of the whole thing very lazily. Once he finds a way to rid himself of the parasite, he's going to wrap it up and settle everything back down nice and neat before disappearing into the ether. Unless, of course, there's something else he wants on Faerun.

[moonpetrichors-blog]

Songs That Remind Me Of Attack On Titan

Tags: Headcanons (Formatting), Eremika

Warnings: Season 4 Spoilers

Songs that remind me of Attack On Titan or that I associate with the overall series.

* ˚ ✦ Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [06/11/23] ❞  

This Could Build Us a Home - The Garden

Cell door slams Right into my face

Immediately, these lyrics remind me of when Eren was imprisoned in Season 4.

Actually, there were a lot of times that Eren was behind bars I think 💀 jailbird fr HAHAHAHAH

I've gotta beat time We're running out of time

Now this one is a bit tricky to explain.

While Eren can't physically time travel, I find that these lyrics can relate to how he kind of knows what's going to happen and despite trying to change his fate, or at least trying to make choices to lead to something different, he can't.

(I'm assuming that was how it worked anyway.)

But you can't outrun the preordained. You can only act with the hand you've been dealt.

I also think of the titan shifter's lifespan and how they don't live forever, despite being so powerful.

Promise me That this can build a home

Promise me That we will not get old

Oof...

This part of the song is definitely a little heartbreaking, knowing that Eren dies and he can't grow old with Mikasa.

Despite that, everyone moves on and builds new lives for themselves with the temporary peace they've been given.

Eren is the only one who doesn't grow old - but it's because of this fact that the others could finally settle down and build a proper home for themselves.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈  

My Kind Of Woman - Mac DeMarco

I'm feelin' so tired Really fallin' apart And it just don't make sense to me I really don't know Why you stick right next to me Wherever I go

Relating to the line where Eren talks about his head is all messed up to Armin.

His mental state has kind of reached a point where it's a little fucked up, and he's done fucked up things.

Despite it all, Mikasa sticks by his side because her love and devotion to Eren keeps her loyal to him, even if at times she's a slave to that love.

You're my, my, my, my kind of woman

Is there anything that really needs to be said about this line?

Eren Yeagar, everybody. The man that taught us what not to do when you have a fine ass girl by your side.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈  

I Love You So - The Walters

I just need someone in my life to give it structure To handle all the selfish ways I'd spend my time without her

Eren's life has inevitably become a mess.

Frankly, everyone in the AOT universe lacks structure in their lives. They all have had to constantly adapt to change.

Mikasa is a constant in Eren's life, but he isn't one in hers. The second line can be attributed to when Eren says that truly, he doesn't want Mikasa to forget about him.

That he wants to be on the forefront of her mind for at least another ten years, despite being dead.

It's a selfish desire, despite the fact that he won't be able to spend time with her. And yet, Mikasa is still the one thing Eren can count on to still be there for him, waiting.

After all, she did say see you later, Eren.

I'm gonna pack my things and leave you behind This feeling's old and I know that I've made up my mind I hope you feel what I felt when you shattered my soul 'Cause you were cruel and I'm a fool So, please let me go

Definitely much heavier meaning to this part of the song.

Of course, Eren leaving Mikasa and Armin behind. He's known for a long time what it is that he has to do and nothing can change that.

It's a cruel fate for them, honestly.

Eren makes stupid decisions all the time, but at the root of it all he doesn't want his friends to suffer, even if some of his actions still caused that suffering.

Think of when he told Mikasa that he hated her.

But at the end of those lyrics, you can feel that sense of sadness where he tells Mikasa to forget him and throw the scarf away.

To let him go.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈  

Moon River - Frank Ocean

My heart (you heart) breaker Wherever you're goin' I'm goin' that way (the same, the same)

Jesus a lot of these songs can be Eremika based 😭

Once again, Mikasa being a devoted and loyal to Eren, even if he has left her heartbroken.

I think at the end of the episode when we see that she grew old and passed away, we also see that she's holding the same flowers that were on Eren's gravestone.

I think this may be why she said see you later, because she would reunite with him in the afterlife. The last two lines of this song remind me of that.

Two drifters off to see the world There's such a crazy world to see We're all chasin' after all the same Chasing after our ends

Obviously this song is in the perspective of a couple but I think you can be a bit imaginative and include Armin in part, regarding how he desperately wanted to see the outside world.

There was so much they hadn't seen or explored yet, and that was one of their original ambitions/goals. They used to be so bright-eyed.

At the end of the day, though, everyone knows that with being a scout comes inevitable death, pains, and losses.

While chasing for that freedom and exploration, everyone drew closer to their own demise - some just luckier than others.

Also, the title? Moon - when it was a full moon when Eren asked Mikasa what he was to her, and river - the ocean and how it was always Armin's dream to go there.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈  

I Bet On Losing Dogs - Mitski

I bet on losing dogs I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place By the ring Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down I'll be there on their side I'm losing by their side

When you think about this song as a standalone, it is clear that the overall message is about trying so hard to make something work when it just can't.

And you know it can't.

But knowing this impossibility, everyone's beliefs, choices, and devotion are unshakeable.

Even if they're losing, or if they can't change their fates, whether or not this is a never-ending loop they'll keep their place and pay for it.

Because at the end of the day, these characters wouldn't be who they are or do what they need to do without betting on something to lose.

Just as Armin said, you can't change anything if you aren't ready to abandon something. Is it love? Giving your heart to the cause? Your own freedom?

It changes depending on the perspective of who you're looking at this song from.

Whoever it is, they all stick by each other, knowing that there is one losing dog they bet on: Eren.

But not just them, so does humanity. He was humanities last hope in the beginning.

He doesn't get his happy ending, but Mikasa looks into his eyes before he goes "down".

Figuratively and literally.

How you'd be over me looking in my eyes when I come Someone to watch me die

SOBBING.

ENOUGH SAID.

[veayrss]

The break down.

Carl grimes x GN!reader

Warning: the lineup, cursing, blood, NEGAN.

Summery: you and the people you grow to love go through something life changing. And lose someone more important to you then anything.

Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ

After losing your parents, your friends you've made and gotten close to along the way of surviving a fucking zombie apocalypse wouldn't you want to cry? To be angry?  Wouldn't you want to let go of all your emotions?

Yeah I would to. But I can't. I can't be seen as weak and vulnerable, I need to say strong for everyone.

After losing everyone and everything there has been one person there for me, Glenn Rhee. He was my fathers best friend and my godfather. So after my parents passed he took me and my brothers in.

Glenn was there for me in a way no one ever was, not even my boyfriend Carl Grimes, do t get me wrong he's an amazing boyfriend. But Glenn understands me more than I understand my self.

Now, imagine. Having only one person left that knows you more then your self and has the patience for you? You would love them like no other. That is how it is with Glenn. He's like my dad. And having to sit in a line, watching a guy talk about nonsense, threatening to kill us is nerve-racking.

"You..." he points to someone, I can't even see, everything is blurry from my tears

"Are..." he pointed to Glenn, my tears fell down from my face, scared. But he continued walking.

"..." my hands start shaking. I don't want anyone to die but it looks like we have no choice. One of us will.

"It." I let out a choked sob as he points his stupid fucking bad to Abraham.

"If anybody moves, if anybody says anything. Cut the boys other eye out, and feed it to his father, and then we'll start." He tells us standing there in-front of Abraham.Now not just my hands are shaking my whole body is. "You can breath."

Abraham sticks a peace sign up at Sasha, it was there thing. When she see's it she starts to break down. "You can blink. You can cry." He gets in stance, "hell.." he gets ready to swing.

I want to look away but I can't. As he goes to hit Abraham he says,"You all are bout to be doing that!"

BAM

He hits him. Sasha starts crying more then before, rosita is crying, Carl, we all are. I look down at the grown "Oho! Look at that!" I slowly look up, and Abraham is sitting up. "TAKING IT LIKE A CHAMP!" negan laughs. He's ticking me off.

"S...Suck.." i look at Abraham, he's saying something..? "My.. Nuts." 'That's Abraham.' I thought in my head. He had to get the last word. Then Negan hits him again, and again, and again. Everything went silent slowly.

Next thing I know Negans on the grown, then it hit me. Daryl punched him. 'THAT DUMBASS! Now he's going to get killed. Fuck.. fuck. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!' Everything slowly goes out again, he's standing in-front of me and Glenn, i take a deep breath.

I look up and he winds his arm.. 'what..?' Then it hits me. "WAIT, NO PLEASE NO." I plead and beg then he hits him. He hits glenn.

"NO STOP!" my hands are on my knees, my face is towards the ground, tears pouring out of my eyes. Glenn sits up. One of his eyes are popping out.

I let out a chocked sob. "M-Mngh" i look away wiping my tears with my sleeve.

"Buddy your still there? I just don't know... it seems like your trying to speak! But you just took a hell of a hit! I just popped your skull so hard, your eyeball just popped out!" He chuckles. "AND IT IS GROSS AS SHIT!"

"Girls I'll find you." Maggie starts crying harder, I shake my head trying to have the image leave my head. Negan looks at me  and Maggie, "oh.. oh hell. I can see this is hard on you guys. I am sorry. I truly am." He tells us all.

"Then stop." He looks at me. "Excuse me little one?" He bends down to meet my level, "ple-please.. just s-stop. P-Please." I look up at him, begging, tears flowing like steams of a river down my face.

"I'm sorry kid, but I did say it." He stands up straight, "NO EXCEPTIONS!" Then he swings again.

"NO NO NO! FUCKYOU!" He keeps Hitting him BAM BAM BAM "FUCK. FUCK!" I collapse on the ground crying. I lost him. I lost glenn.

"You bunch of pussies. I'm just getting started." BAM, BAM, BAM "Lucille is thirsty!" He chuckles "she is a vampire bat!"

After they all have left, me and Maggie are sitting there next to Glenn, Rosita and Sasha is with abe. I hold on to Maggie, she's laying in my arms crying. I then get up. We lost Abe, Glenn, and Daryl.

"Shit.." I run my hands through my hair. "SHIT!" Everyone looks at me. At this point I don't care. I'm kicking the dirt the rocks on the floor screaming. "FUCKFUCKFUCK!" I'm pacing back and forth.

"THAT FUCKING PICE OF SHIT!" I started crying, tears are flowing down my face again. I look down on my shirt and hands, covered in his blood. "No...no..nonononono!"

"Get off! Get off! GET OFF PLEASE!" I tried so hard to wipe off his blood, but it won't come off "GET FUCKING OFF ME!"

Everyone is staring like I'm a phyco. I fall down on my knees "GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF!" Carl runs over to me. He hold me in his arms rocking me back and forth. "Shhhh" he hold my head in his chest.

He's crying to, "HES GONE! He's gone! He's gone carl! He's gone. Glenn is fucking gone." Maggie comes over and holds me to. "HE PROMISED ME! He fucking promised he wouldn't go. Now he's gone! Just like everyone else." Carl puts his forehead on my head and gives me a kiss. " I know y/n, I know."

I get up and go over to him, i look at him. Tears falling down my face like water droplets on a window. "You promised.." I put my head on his back "you promised me, you promised my dad, my mom. You fucking promised." I lift up my head.

I look over at everyone, "what am I going to tell the boys!? What am i going to say? How am I- I- I can't. They can't know!" Carl gets up and picks me up away from Glenn. "What about carol? What about the Enid?-" carl hugs me.

I hugs him back, crying into his chest. He lifts up my head "we have to go v." I look at him in the eyes. "What about them?" He looks at them. Abe an glenn, "we have to leave them."

I shake my head. "No. No.. no..." he holds my face, "he have to I don't want to either, but he have to." I continue to shake my head, I try to get out his grip. "No. We have to bury them."

He sighs, "let's bring them to hill top. We will bury them there."

Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ

Sorry it’s actual ass. I made this a while a go and I haven’t proof read it or anything so bear with me.

[vanderwoodlings]

If I’m being honest: an Eric van der Woodsen playlist (x)

Tracklist (and commentary!) under the cut

1. “Free To Decide,” The Cranberries. I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide/And I'm not so suicidal after all

1. “Free To Decide,” The Cranberries. I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide/And I'm not so suicidal after all

2. “12345,” Em Beihold. "You need a hug, are you alright?"/“Nobody's loved you much tonight"/Only the mirror tells me I'm fine

3. “Family Line,” Conan Gray. It was really this bit from the chorus that had me going for this one: I'm so good at telling lies/That came from my mother's side/Told a million to survive—but I think there’s really something to the way that Eric just has William written off when he shows up, and that takes a lot of emotional work to do that happens off-screen but I still think about very much

4. “Unsteady,” X Ambassadors. This playlist does kind of just embrace the cringe a little bit and I’m okay with that. Hold, hold on, hold on to me/‘Cause I'm a little unsteady, a little unsteady

5. “Dance Music,” The Mountain Goats. In which I will never be over the stuff that comes up in 2.07 about lily’s various exes

6. “I’m Not a Cynic,” Alec Benjamin. I swear that I'm not a cynic, my glass just has no water in it today

7. “Breaking Free,” Night Riots. I feel violent/Like I'm dying/I feel broken, maybe I'm just breaking free. [sticks a toothpick in the boy’s brain] uh yeah he’s not done yet

8. “Pressure,” Paramore. Seriously tho Eric during the year Serena was gone is so fucked up I wish the show had let us talk about him more. Some things I'll never know/And I had to let them go/I'm sitting all alone/Feeling empty

9. “Wouldn’t It Be Nice,” The Beach Boys. He is gay <3

10. “Creep,” Radiohead. He is gay and depressed

11. “Jason,” BONNIE PARKER. So yeah uh. Asher thing

12. “Shut Up!” Simple Plan.

13. “Inhaler,” Foals. I'm make believe/And I'm up for rent/My head is spent/I guarantee

14. “Hold Me While You Wait,” Lewis Capaldi. So tell me, can you turn around?/I need someone to tear me down.

15. “Blackbird,” The Beatles. Told you I was just going for it.

16. “Cursive,” Billie Marten. And we'll be fine, there is an end/It hurts to fall back again. There’s an ericfic on ao3 that I haven’t actually read, but it’s got a tag about fluctuating mental health and that definitely has the energy I was feeling here—he’s chronically depressed, and that is what it is

17. “Honesty,” Billy Joel. Okay but like. Fuck the UES. Honesty is such a lonely word/Everyone is so untrue

18. “Babel,” Mumford & Sons. Then the walls of my town, they come crumbling down/You ask where will we stand in the winds that will howl. When he says he’ll basically be ten feet away and then literally never appears again

19. “Heart Open,” Kodaline. Always on the outside, too afraid to open up, and talk/…/And you're not broken/So keep your heart open now

20. “Like a River Runs,” Bleachers. I’ve looped back around to thinking about that pre-series year again, a little bit. Tonight, I sit over the parkway/The summer's gone and I'm alone/And I get the feeling that you're somewhere close/And I wanna get up/To the rhythm of your wild, to the rhythm of your wild heart/It beats, been beating since you've gone

21. “Trenches,” Set Your Goals. You're falling in love with the skyline/Nothing comes for free:/Can you put a price on feeling satisfied?

22. “Lost Highway,” Bon Jovi. Yeah, I'm busting loose, I'm letting go/Out on this open road/It's independence day on this lost highway

23. “You Cannot,” Erin McKeown. You cannot cage me, I revolt/You cannot contain me, I bolt/I am not caught because/What I got, got you can't hold, hold

24. “Born to Run,” Bruce Springsteen. Seriously I just find it so interesting when characters actually leave on this show, and it’s even more so for Eric because of all the characters he actually grew up in the UES, and there’s this way that its played as something that traps you, and yet he just basically goes ‘no <3’

25. “Heart lines,” Florence + The Machine. Just keep following the heart lines on your hand/Keep it up, I know you can

26. “We Are Golden,” MIKA. Running around like a clown on purpose/Who gives a damn about the family you come from

27. “everything sucks,” vaultboy, Eric Nam. I really like this one in the way of just… it feels kind of comfortable. It isn’t being all the way up in the way that some of these songs are

28. “Evergreen,” Bears in Trees. But I must possess the thought, that progress is a process/And it ain't one step backward if you rotate your axis/Realize that a slip up is just part of the practice

29. “Hand in My Pocket,” Alanis Morissette. And what it all comes down to/Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine

30. “Lights,” Journey. California!Eric my beloved

[amalia-uwu]

🌹Hanahaki🥀

Based on Skerbbie's fanfiction Firsts and Seconds @skerbbie

I DO NOT OWN -> Undertale, Horrortale, Farmtale, the fic First & Seconds, Hanahaki disease. The rights go to the respective owners!

Undertale by Toby Fox

Horrortale by Sour Apple Studios Farmtale by GuinongTale_AU

First and Seconds written by Skerbbie @skerbbie 💚

Hanahaki Disease by Matsuda Naoko

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 you are here | CHAPTER 5

Warnings⚠️:angst, body horror, gore, Hanahaki, blood, choking/suffocation, cracking of bones, bones injury, near death experience (somehow).

CHAPTER 4

acceptance

.

.

.

Sans reached the spot he found Axe. He chuckled bitterly and gently sat down. Sticks leaned back and stayed there a few minutes to catch his breath.

This is the spot where his suffering began. He sighed bitterly.

He looked around, the only sounds were an owl in the distance, some cicadas and his ragged breathing.

His emerald eyes shone in the darkness of the night.

There were a few stars in the sky, the moon was half, offering a little light.

You may wonder; Did he regret it? Is he blaming him for all this?

My friends that's an easy answer..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

The answer is, no. He never regretted saving him. He would do it again, if he had to.

He only blamed himself for letting his guard down and believed that maybe they could be together.

What a fool...

With what little strength he had; he got up. At the movement he felt nauseous, he vomited some flowers along with blood and magic.

He took some deep unsteady breaths and walked some more clenching his chest and 'stomach'.

After around 10 minutes he reached a tree.

There was a cliff ahead. Below said cliff, he could see a river, a lake, more mountains, flowers and in the distance the lights of town.

In that landscape, there was a small cave. It wasn't very deep it worked mostly as a cover. It could only fit around 5 people. Papyrus and he would go there to see the stars. He even brought Axe there once.

It was around  4 or 5 o' clock in the morning judging from the sky.

He decided to sat under the cherry tree. He leaned his aching body at the trunk of the tree. He sighed heavily.

The flowers slowly embraced him along with the darkness of the night.

.

.

.

(Back to Stones, Abby and Axe).

Abby, Stones and Axe were looking for him. Stones used the brotherly bond they had.

Axe felt the guilt crawling on his bones. Stones tried to control the rising panic and concentrated.

He had a suspicion that Sticks might be in that small cave.

After all, the view was beautiful and they could see everything clearly: the stars, the town, etc.

As they were heading that way they noticed some petals and flowers on the ground along with stains of blood.

Stones sensed the weak magic. He followed his instinct.

"This way! He is close, I can feel it!" Papyrus informed and pointed to the direction. They nodded.

Once they reached the place, they looked around.

Looking on the ground, they saw rose petals that lead to the cherry tree.

When they reached it, they saw his left shoulder humerus (the whole left limb).

"Sticks?!" they called in unison.

At the sound of his name, Sticks turned around. The red roses had already wrapped around his neck coming out of his mouth and left eye.

His eye(s) widen. Sticks tried to move away. He collapsed on the ground.

«They weren't supposed to be here! They can't see me like this!» he thought and felt the rising panic. He tried to crawl away.

"Sans?" Papyrus gently knelt and touched his shoulder blades.

Sans's eyes teared up. Papyrus gently held his shoulder and turned him around.

Papyrus saw the state he was in "Fuck.."  he swore under his breath. The flowers  had  wrapped around Sticks's body holding him in a tight hug.

Sticks didn't say anything. He couldn't speak. He only wept silently. Papyrus kept inspecting his body, he carefully caressed Sans's cheekbone "I'll come up with something hold on!"

Sticks shook his head no. No hope.

Papyrus understood the look... He nodded "I. Will. Save you. Somehow".

Abby could only watch. This was beyond her powers.

Papyrus unbuttoned Sans's shirt and saw the flowers. He grimaced and frowned. He tried to remove the flowers but he only managed to hurt Sticks more.

Sans closed his eyes tightly shut. He whined and groaned in pain. He let out chocked coughs. Papyrus stopped the action.

Sticks opened his eyes dimly, his body convulsed as he was slowly chocking to death. The flowers cracked his bones. They crawled further on his eye and body.

A couple of tears mixed up with magic ran down his eyes. Papyrus didn't know what to do. Sticks stopped convulsing.

He let out soft ragged breaths.

*hhhhh ha...ck... ha...ck...ha...ck hhhhh*

Papyrus gently held him in his embrace. His soul turned a bright peach color.

Sticks felt something wet landing on his face. He opened his eye and looked at his brother. Papyrus was quietly weeping.

Sticks raised his left hand and he wiped away the tears from his eyes.

Papyrus watched in unfathomable horror and sorrow Sans's hand, that was covered in cracks and flowers. Sans's touch was rough yet soft.

Sticks used his soul to send Papyrus a soft wave of comfort. Papyrus returned it as softly as he could.

Even in this state his big brother instinct kicked in and tried to comfort his little brother.

Sticks slowly looked at him.

Axe..

The reason of this bittersweet suffering..

Tears ran down his eyes. The flowers tightening their grip on his poor fragile body.

*hhhh Hrk Gnk hrk ngh hrk hack hhhh *

Sticks closed his eyes tightly. It hurt. When he opened them, Axe was looking at him.. Sans managed to give a crooked smile. He stretched his phalanges weakly.

Papyrus gently positioned him in Axe's 'arms'. Axe carefully took him in his embrace.

Sticks was observing. A forlorn expression on his face.. He carefully raised his index phalanx and caressed Axe's cheekbone.

There were many emotions on Sticks's face :

Sorrow,

Agony,

Pain,

Love

and many more (positives and negatives).

But, the emotion that shone the brightest; other than love and agony, was...

...acceptance...

Sans's eyes were wide opened showing fear . He clenched Axe's sleeve; his bones digging in the soft fabric. They called his name... talked to him... but, he couldn't hear them. More cracks appeared in his body.

Axe heard a soft, almost inaudible sigh among the chocking sounds and the cracking of his bones. Sans was still holding Axe's sleeve but his hold loosened.

They sucked in a breath as they saw the flowers and vines crawling (/spreading) all over his body. His eye rolled, his body felt heavy, he gurgled and choked. Voices and sounds were muffled..

Sans closed his eyes, some tears mixed with magic and blood rolled down his cheekbones..

...and... accepted his cruel fate.

.

.

END OF CHAPTER 4

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

[labellerose-acheron]

now...one for each dunbroch boy!

HARRIS

God Needs the Devil - Jonah Kagen

You can hide but you can't stay gone She'll find you, won't take her long And she'll come on back with every dawn And drag your ass where you belong And you'll wake up all alone On an old beat-down dirt country road And you'll crawl back through fire and snow 'Cause there ain't no other place to go

I need you like God needs the Devil, honey Someday soon, this dust's gonna settle Come real quick and get inside my mind 'Cause when I'm all fucked up, I don't feel no pain Won't you run to me, run through my veins? Baby, won't you come and get me high?

if you think about this as a metaphor for his magic, this makes a lot of sense. if you don't, it doesn't make sense. <3

HUBERT

Never Need Me - Rachel Chinouriri

In my head you can do what you like Oh no, I couldn't care what you do with your life I hope you just take it easy I hope that you never need me And maybe I'll regret not sticking around But how can I swim if you're pullin' me down? Just promise you'll take it easy I hope that you never need me

You say I'm the love of your life But now just isn't the time You're doing it again This is why your cycle never ends You're addicted to trouble you choose I'm surprised you're even confused I know you'll never learn What the hell am I supposed to do?

If you can't change I doubt that I can help you I've made plans and sorry they're without you

this is a break up song...but i think it works lol

HAMISH

Wide Eyes - Local Natives

No food or water, For the better part of ten months. Quietly he sat, Between the folds of a tree trunk.

Oh to see it with my own eyes. Oh to see it with my own eyes.

All the men of faith, And men of science, have their questions. Could it ever be on Earth, As it is in heaven?

hamish is just vibing...

BONUS MERIDA

Blood in the Wine by AURORA

Come and feel alive, lover Come and feel the love like a sinner Shout it louder Shout it for the ones who could never say "I won't feel ashamed, Mother" "Can you break the chains of her?" Shout it louder Not a sinner, she's a lover

I was given a name Before I was given blood Like you were given your faith Before there was made a God

Young rivers in your hands And grass burning in promised lands You can drink You can feast There's beauty in your beast The flesh in the fruit And the blood in the wine

[facetowardsthesun]

Spotify Weekly Discover Oracle #1

I like to listen to my Spotify Weekly Discover and use it as an oracle for lessons to learn, cycles to close and overall vibes for the soul. Some lyrics struck a chord, some lyrics doesn't.

I'll share the most potent ones:

"You're lying in the grass now/Your old familiar way/I see you slither past now/Trying to get away/You said that I can trust you/That I should have some faith/But when you shed your skin/I know that it's too late" The Velveteens - Charmer and the snake

"I'm doing really well thanks/I do not need your help thanks/I'm doing really well thanks/I do need ya, do not need ya/Doing really well thanks/I do not need your help thanks/I'm doing really well thanks/I do not need ya, do not need ya" Ellie Bleach - Doing really well thanks

"Be gay, do drugs, hail Satan/Beelzebub is full of love" Super Cassette - Be Gay, Do Drugs, Hail Satan

"Cause I'm a punk, I'm a sucker, I'm a part time priest/They should ship me in a crate right into the Middle East/With a sign on the box saying never never never release" Dinosaur 94 - Love Impaired

"Cause honey I've got thick skin turning paper thin/And I've been setting my alarm just a little bit late to feel the rush of the deadline" Teen Jesus and the Jean Teasers - Desk Chair

"I'm a moth, can't anyone see/What a pretty butterfly I could have been?" LIA LIA - I'm a Moth!

"I just wanna dance for love/Celebrate it juste because I can/I remember last summer, I spent it crying most of the time/Now he's lifting the fog, the stage lights come on, I'm the star of the show" Zella Day - Dance For Love

"Is there something to remember to write down/Real thing, real thing" DVC Refreshments - Wasted on the Real Thing

"And the girls want to be with the girls/Girls want things that make common sense/The best for all concerned/They don't want to have to go out of their way/And the girls want to be with girls" Talking Heads - The Girl wants to be with the Girls

"I'm gonna make that dream come real/I'm gonna dance the way I feel" The Tammys - Egyptian Shumba

"All I ever wanted was to walk by the park/All I ever wanted was to walk by the river, see the starts/Please, stop fucking me up" Amyl and the Sniffers - Knifey

"Sweet hypocrisy/You're making me believe/That even the thought of you/Never felt so sweet" The Sukis - Becca

"I am a wall, I am a twig/I am a hole, I am a mannequin/And I will trade anything/Letting my eyes fade off/Letting my face go oily and twisted/Sticking my fists through it" Adam Neely, Ben Levin, Justice Cow - Beautiful and Tragic

"I throw my hands up/Thank you, I throw my hands up/I throw my hands up/Thank you, I throw my hands up" Ella Músa - Mango Pops

"Life's getting hard in here/So I do some gardening/Anything to take my mind away from where it's supposed to be" Courtney Barnett - Avant Gardener

"Nobody saved no one's life this time/So we burned all our uniforms/And let nature take its course again" The Shins - So Says I

"But if your god is valid why isn't mine?" The Spook School - I want to kiss you

"Keep coming back, you just gotta keep coming back" Parcels - Comingback

"If you take a risk, your odds improve" Matt Berry - Take my hand