#I CAN GO EAT FOOD NOW GOOD LORD

[becauseplot]

I wrote a thing! Spoilers up through Ordem Paranormal: Calamidade episode 11. Ao3 link provided in the title for those who wish to read it there.

After The Storm

An AU where Joui surives. The Order and its allies have returned to the Leone Mansion after successfully containing Kian. As they wait for news of a hospital they can take their critically injured to, Arthur has decided to clean the blood off of Joui's face. Was written between watching episodes 11 and 12, so all of the background details here were written based on assumptions I made before watching the true resolution in ep 12. Basically, things aren't going to perfectly align with canon, and it's perfectly safe to read if you've watched only up to 11. Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Happy/Hopeful Ending, Late-Night Conversations, Major Character Injury, Implied Suicidal Character. More tags on the Ao3 link <3 (Note that if there have been edits made to this, the most up-to-date version will be on Ao3, so I recommend reading it there if you can.)

3:49 in the morning. Arthur turns off the tap and lifts the dish of warm water out of the sink with a freshly rinsed cloth rag bunched beneath it. He turns around to face the three occupied beds behind him. Two sleeping, one dozing. His steps are careful as to not squeak on the tile as he crosses the room, drags the wheeled stool into the right stop with his foot, and gently lowers himself into it. It creaks as his weight settles on it. He grunts and breathes through the smarting aches as his weight settles on those, too. The bowl goes on the roller cart with the other medical instruments. The rag goes hanging off the lip of it.

Arthur faces forward again. He stifles a yawn behind his hand, scrubs his face up and down. He stares for a moment. A steady rise and fall. Out of the corner of his eye, a silent heart rate monitor blinks in the dimmed fluorescent light. The overlapping sounds of triage, damage control, and debriefs reach his ears muffled by the infirmary’s walls and gently shut doors. 

There are a lot of things that Arthur could be doing right now. Helping Carla and Renan manage the injured downstairs. Helping Dominic and Yuki organize those who are well enough into watch groups. Helping Ivete clean and take stock of their remaining weapons. Helping Mister Veríssimo and Dante plan their next move in regards to transporting Kian back to Brazil and handling the looming threat of the Devil. 

Instead, Arthur settles into his stool. He reaches over, flips the rag into the bowl, lifts it in his fist, and squeezes out the excess. The droplets plink in soft staccato. He shakes the rag around in his hand until he’s certain he has a proper grip on it, and reaches forward.

Yes, there are a lot of things that Arthur could be doing right now. This, though? This he needs to do. And Dante knew that when he passed Arthur the cloth and dish half an hour ago and said, “Take care of him for us. We’ll deal with everything else for now.”

He starts at Joui’s cheek. The left corner of his mouth. It’s a torn-up mess, probably cut by his own teeth from a hard punch across his jaw. Arthur dabs at the mangled skin with the rag as he carefully cleans away the layers of blood and dirt caked to him in a sickly mud. 

He’s just as gentle with Joui’s face as he was when he cleaned around his collarbones and neck: short, light passes of the rag with his fingers, even if the stain is stubborn, and no messing with the straps of the spinal board they put him in. The last thing he wants is to cause any more damage, nor cause Joui any more pain. Joui has had enough of that tonight; plenty of times, in fact, over and over, relentlessly, driving forward again and again and again with a hatred so deep and bloody it could—

Arthur inhales through his nose, sudden air in his lungs. Someone in the hall shouts a name,  French answers, and boots march down the stairs. Arthur comes back to himself and dabs away the last of the grime, finally revealing the corner of Joui’s mouth: mangled and scarring from a desperate ritual on Dante’s part, yes, but a warm tone. There you are. Still here. Arthur adjusts his rag in his grip and starts up by Joui's cheekbone.

A moment later, when Arthur’s gentle poking creeps a little too close to his eye, Joui’s face twitches. Some of that exhausted morphine haze seems to clear. Joui takes a deep breath, as if waking up. 

Arthur pauses in his motions. Quiet relief blooms in his chest. He knows it’s just an effect of the exhaustion and the morphine, but sitting here with his friend staring up at nothing, eyes glazed over and hardly blinking… Arthur prefers his moments of lucidity, if only so that he can check in with him. “Joui?”

A single dark eye flicks to him. “Mm?”

“With me again?”

“Mm-hm.” Before Arthur can even ask how he’s feeling, Joui starts to flex his shoulders and arms, fidgeting in the straps of the spinal board.

Oh, no, bad. “Hey, hey, hey.” He drops the damp rag on the side of the bed and runs his hand up and down Joui’s arm as gently as he can. “Easy. You hurt your neck, remember? Carla says you shouldn’t be moving much right now.”

Joui stops straining. He exhales. “...But my face itches.”

Arthur blinks, and despite everything, he feels his lips twitch up at Joui’s tone: sulky. Arthur will take his sulkiness any day. He’s missed it, even. After all of Joui’s broken cries of pain when they were trying to carry him away from—well. Doesn’t matter. Sulky is good. “I know. I’m working on it, I promise.”

Joui manages a weak smile. “Thank you,” he croaks.

“‘Course.” Arthur gives Joui’s arm a little pat before picking up his rag, dabbing around Joui’s cheekbone once more and steering clear of his injured eye. “They would do this at the hospital too, I guess, but—we’re still not sure when that’s going to happen. Better to do it now than keep you laying here with an itchy face, right?”

“Carina hasn’t…?”

Arthur gives his head a slow shake. He exhales, “No, no confirmation from her family’s contact yet. They’re not sure about getting rooms that are…discreet, you know?”

Arthur pauses, thinking. His eyes stray down to Joui’s neck, still discolored despite the ritual (a massive fist completely encircling his throat bruising grip dangling like a puppet with its strings cut) before he catches himself. He unclenches his fist in the rag and starts wiping up by Joui’s temple. “We might just have to take you in anyway. I mean, they took Fabrício while we were at the Coliseum, but…”

“Devil,” Joui mumbles.

“Devil,” Arthur agrees. They’re still not sure what the Devil’s threat entails, nor where the Escriptas who retreated ran off to. As of right now, it’s not a good idea for them to go anywhere in small groups or without their weapons—and there’s just too many eyes in a hospital to accommodate that. 

Arthur flips his rag around to a clean spot and moves towards Joui’s ear. “Though, the sooner we can get someone to do a proper X-ray of your neck, the better. I think…if Carina hasn’t heard back by the time I finish here, we’ll just take you in and figure it out when we get there.”

Joui frowns as much as he’s able. “It’s not safe.”

You, being here, like this, is not safe, Arthur’s mind hisses. Not safe. Not safe enough. Not. Safe. Your neck should be broken, you could still—

“We can discuss it with the others when the time comes,” Arthur says. Stop it. “In any case, no matter what we do, you need to be seen by a professional with the right equipment.” He finishes cleaning around the curve of Joui’s ear and brings his rag back to rinse it out in the bowl. Red muddies the water, turns it darker in the dim light of the infirmary. “How’s the face? Any less itchy?”

“Mm. Kinda.”

“Nothing I’m doing hurts, right? Is the morphine working?”

“You’re fine. And it…” Joui's face tightens. “I still feel it. The pain. But. Could be worse.”

Arthur scowls to himself. It’s not fair. If he could at least shoulder some of Joui’s pain, finally grant him some much-deserved relief, he would do it in a heartbeat. But that’s not possible. So instead he lifts the rag and squeezes—hard enough that his hand shakes, but that’s neither here nor there. The water droplets plink in the quiet once again, serene. He smooths his expression and looks at Joui. “You tell me if anything I do hurts, okay?”

“Okay.”

And Arthur resumes his work. Across the expanse of Joui’s other cheek now, where Arthur knows his X-shaped scar is. He takes his time. 

Joui’s one working eye stares up at the ceiling, half-lidded. Arthur thinks that he’s zoned out again, but then he speaks, quiet: “...Is it bad?”

Arthur stops. “What, your face?”

“Mm-hm.”

Arthur looks at the state Joui’s face is in and thinks for a long moment. Dante stopped things from getting worse, but it’s not like that ritual can reverse damage done: nose bent at a wrong angle, lips warped where they’ve torn, teeth missing on the left side of his jaw—not to mention his right eye is wrinkled shut in a way that can’t mean anything good for opening it again.

(It was bad. Horrific. Chilled him to the bone, God, the sight of him…)

But they’re half-scarred, now, thanks to Dante’s ritual. Beneath Arthur’s stained rag, he can more clearly see the X-shaped scar on Joui’s cheek, now clean of grime. Old wounds. Near-misses. Nearly, nearly, nearly…

Arthur pats his hand on Joui’s clean cheek. He doesn’t shake. “I think you're as pretty as ever, Joui.”

Joui huffs and squints his working eye at Arthur, but there’s just the slightest twitch in the corner of his mouth. Arthur smiles too. 

Eventually, though, Joui looks away. 

“It’s bad,” Joui whispers. “I know.”

Arthur feels his own smile die. 

(Again and again and again, head snapping back with the force of it every single time, blood flying with every impact.)

“A bit,” he croaks.

A beat.

“It—” Arthur breathes in. “It looks a little better. Now that there’s less blood on you.”

(There had been so much blood. So much fucking blood. His face, his neck, his shoulders, the dirt beneath him. Drenched in it.)

“...Arthur?”

His hand is resting on Joui’s cheek.

(Dropped. Crumpled on the floor. A heap of red in the shape of his friend.)

His hand is resting on Joui’s cheek. 

“Yeah?” he says.

Joui doesn’t answer. He closes his eye.

3:57 in the morning. It’s quiet in the infirmary. Arthur takes the rag and drapes it over the lip of the water dish. Then, he places his hand over Joui’s hands where they’re folded limply over his stomach. He runs his thumb over Joui’s knuckles, all the burns and nicks and scars.

“What is it, Joui,” Arthur murmurs, so low that it doesn’t come out as  a question, not quite. “What are you thinking.”

Joui draws in a deep breath. It whistles past his lips. “When Kian was…hitting me,” Joui starts, a murmur. “It was… I saw something.”

Oh, God. Arthur plants his feet on the floor. He leans in to hear Joui better. “What did you see?”

“My family. We were at the airport again, in Japan. The day I left for Brazil.” Another deep breath. It shudders. “My sister… She looked back when they were leaving me at the terminal.”

“Your…” Arthur draws a blank. “I didn’t know you had a sister.” 

“We’re not—close. But. That day...she looked back when my parents didn’t and I-I…”

Joui’s eye opens, and tears spill over. Rivulets through the dried blood on the side of his head that disappear into his hair. His voice is thick. He looks right at Arthur, his gaze inescapable.

“I-I realized…someone loved me. That my family loved me. I wasn’t alone. And—And it was because Liz was there.”

Arthur swallows. His heart is pounding. “Joui.”

“And Kaiser. And Thiago.”

Arthur feels everything inside of him trembling. “Joui.”

“I knew we won, I knew Kian was desperate, I knew we would stop him, but—they were standing next to me, Arthur. They were smiling at me. I didn’t know what to think, I-I thought I was—”

Arthur doubles over with a ragged gasp. 

“I know,” he chokes. “I know, I know, I know, please, you—you don’t have to say it.”

(What else was Arthur supposed to think, seeing Joui like that? What other conclusion could he have drawn? For seven terrible, blood-blurred minutes, the world had ended all over again.)

Arthur’s forehead comes to rest on the edge of the mattress, and his hand clutches both of Joui’s tighter than it should. There is no stopping the tears, no way in hell, so instead he just focuses on swallowing back what he can and weathering the wave of feargriefpain rolling through him—breathe, in and out, it’ll pass, it always passes; that doesn’t make it hurt any less, but it always passes. 

What makes him finally come back to himself, though, is the sound of Joui sniffling, and the feeling of one of Joui’s hands slipping out of his and coming to rest on top of his head, shaky fingers in messy hair. 

Arthur pulls himself together with a gulp of air. He sits up, takes Joui’s hand from his head and presses Joui’s knuckles to his forehead. He closes his eyes. “God, I’m so sorry,” he whispers hoarsely. “I shouldn’t have cut you off—you’re the one who nearly died, I should—”

“Shut up,” Joui whispers back. It’s sharp but not cruel, not in the slightest. His voice trembles, thick with tears. “I missed you too. I was scared too.”

“I really thought you had died, Joui.”

“I did too.”

Arthur chokes back a sudden sob. “Fuck.” He brings Joui’s hand down a little lower, closer to his nose and lips, and looks up at his friend. Joui’s eye gleams with tears in the dim light. His face, beaten and still half-bloodied, is drawn with deep lines of pain and exhaustion. 

Joui’s hand, held in Arthur’s, smells of salt, and dust, and warm, fresh water.

Arthur closes his eyes. Here. Still here. Despite everything, still here. Not gone yet. Still here. It is the kindest thing they have been granted in a very, very long time. 

“I thought—” Joui starts. He pauses to sniff. Arthur looks at him and sees the way his chest shudders with every breath. “I thought that was it. You know? I-I thought I was—done for. Done. So…” Something like a laugh bubbles out of him, weak and sad. “I think…I don’t know what to do now.”

“You rest,” says Arthur.

Joui swallows. “I’m tired, Arthur.”

“You rest,” says Arthur. “You get better. Okay? And the moment you’re well enough, we’ll go back to Brazil, and you can stay with Ivete and I. Kai—” He takes a fortifying breath. “Kaiser’s room is still open. We left it in case…well. I know he would want you there. And we want you there too.”

Arthur squeezes his hand again. Not the desperate, bruising grip from before; just a quiet reminder.

“We’re okay. We stopped Kian. I think we’re almost there, Joui, and—you’ve done a lot for us. Just get some rest. Get better, feel better. That’s what you do now. Leave the rest of it to me, okay?”

The moment stretches. Arthur closes his eyes again. Nothing reaches him save for the sound of his and Joui’s ragged breaths. 

Then, a pressure around his hand. Arthur opens his eyes to find Joui looking back at him, a try at a smile on his lips.

“Okay,” Joui whispers, his voice impossibly small. “I…I’d like that. To stay with you.”

Strangely, Arthur feels like crying again. But it’s not anguish that is creeping up his throat. No, not this time. “The room is yours. We’ll get you home, don’t worry.”

“Thank you,” Joui says. “For…everything.”

“Bah,” Arthur replies with a smile. He doesn’t quite stop the stray tears that spill over. “Look who’s talking, huh? No—of course, Joui. Always.”

Arthur squeezes Joui’s hand again, because he can, and Joui squeezes back. 

A beat, and Arthur releases him. He scrubs his hand over his eyes, collecting himself. He stifles a yawn. “Alright. Let’s get your face clean, yeah?” He reaches for the rag on the bowl.

“You deserve rest too, you know,” Joui says. “ You’re hurt. It’s been a long day.”

Arthur’s hand pauses on the rag. (And an even longer year.) He flips the rag into the water and starts swishing it around with his fingers. “In a bit. Once things are settled here and you’re in the hands of a doctor, I’ll get some sleep.”

“You promise?”

“I promise. I’ll even have one of the others vouch for me afterwards, if you want me to.”

Joui hums. “Have Ivete do it. Or Dante. They wouldn’t lie to me for you.” 

“And the others would?”

“I don’t know. But they wouldn’t.”

Arthur chuckles softly. “No, they wouldn’t.” Arthur lifts the rag out of the water and squeezes, listens to the droplets run back down into the bowl. “Soon, Joui. Just a little longer.”

4:02 in the morning. Joui closes his eye with a long, steady sigh. The heart rate monitor continues its silent rhythm, the noise of the Order continues its muffled beat against the walls, and Arthur lifts the rag to Joui’s forehead, wicking away the last of the blood there. 

Not gone. Not yet. And that’s all Arthur will ever ask for. 

[flickering-chandelier]

Was Any Of It True?

Pairing: badboy!Azriel x goodgirl!Reader

Summary: Modern/College AU! Az’s on-again-off-again girlfriend gives Azriel a proposition: make the new bookworm fall in love with him, then break her heart, in exchange for anything he wants. He agrees, but things get complicated when he falls for Reader for real.

Based on this request! 🩷

✨ Part 2 ✨ Part 3 ✨

Warnings: angst, sexual language?, swearing, Azriel & friends being assholes

Word Count: 10.2k   oh lord sorry besties I couldn’t shut my little brain off

“I'm telling you, Az, she's pissing me off. The professor loves her, and I saw that she got a 100 on the exam,” Claire was seething while she and Azriel lounged in his apartment, eating the pizza he'd ordered.

“Mhmm,” he mumbled around his pizza, only half listening. Claire was always complaining about something. “And what did you get?”

“98! He took two points off because I didn't answer thoroughly enough,” she scoffed. “God, I hate her. She's going to push me right off the top of the Dean's list.”

Azriel blinked. “I mean, you'll still be very near the top of the list.”

Claire groaned, throwing her napkin onto her paper plate angrily, “That's not good enough!”

He rolled his eyes and she glared at him. “Don't be an ass! This is a big deal to me.”

“Oh, I know it is. This girl is all you talk about.”

“Because I hate her. Maybe if she got laid, she’d be distracted enough to slip up once in a while,” she grumbled.

“Yeah, maybe,” Azriel said, pulling his laptop out of his backpack and setting it on the table, a sufficient signal that he didn’t want to talk about his girlfriend’s arch nemesis anymore. 

No more than a week later, Azriel’s on-again-off-again girlfriend was off-again, and honestly, he was relieved. Claire’s obsession with being at the top of the academic food chain was bordering on insanity, and he was glad he didn’t have to hear about it anymore.

He was currently at a house party that Cassian had dragged him to, with a blonde girl that he couldn’t remember the name of sitting in his lap, one of her arms draped behind his neck, the other resting on his chest. She had been whispering in his ear all the things that she wanted to do to him, before Cassian interrupted, handing Azriel a shot with a grin. 

Blondie scowled at Cassian, who just smirked back as the girl that Cass had been talking to earlier sidled up next to him, wrapping her arms around his middle. 

Azriel knocked the shot back and handed the cup it had come in to the blonde girl. “Can you get me another one?”

She seemed annoyed, but took the cup from him anyway, striding into the kitchen. 

“Sorry for interrupting,” Cassian said, settling on the couch next to him, before pulling the girl onto his lap.

Azriel rolled his eyes. “Like I give a shit.”

Cassian snickered as the blonde girl came back, draping herself in his lap again, handing him another shot. He drank it, just as Claire appeared before him, her arms crossed over her chest, and her brow furrowed.

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice husky.

“I have a proposition for you.”

He smirked, making a show of tightening his grip on the blonde girl’s waist. “No, thanks. Been there, done that.”

“Not that kind of proposition, you idiot. Can we talk privately? I think it’ll be worth your while,” she said, her lips turning up into a sultry smile.

“I don’t know, Claire, I’m pretty busy right now,” he said, turning his gaze to the blonde girl, squeezing her thigh. She sighed dreamily, leaning further into him.

Claire groaned. “Look, Az, I really need your help. Please?” 

Azriel studied Claire, and he could see that it was true. She was wearing her most annoyed, don’t-fuck-with-me face, but her eyes were pleading. Sad.

He sighed, glancing apologetically at the girl in his lap before turning back to Claire. “Fine, we can talk.”

She led him into someone’s empty bedroom and shut the door behind her. 

“If this is about that girl you’re obsessed with, so help me,” he said. She winced, and he threw his head back. “Unbelievable. Claire, I don’t want to hear about this anymore! I don’t care about your problems.”

“Just hear me out!”

He crossed his arms over his chest, and raised an eyebrow at her, waiting.

“She actually is threatening my spot on the Dean’s list now,” she said, looking close to tears.

He looked pointedly at her. “And?”

“And I was thinking about what I said earlier… about how if a really hot guy was interested in her, maybe she would stop caring about her grades so much,” she said, smiling at him now.

“And?” Azriel just wished she would get to the point.

Claire sighed, exasperated. “I need you to seduce her.”

Azriel barked out a laugh, leaning his shoulder against the nearest wall. “You’re kidding, right? Why would I do that?”

She stepped closer to him, trailing a finger along his chest, her touch feather-light through his black t-shirt. She looked up at him from beneath her lashes, “Because I asked? Because I’ll give you anything you want,” she said, her voice dropping seductively.

He held her gaze, leaning down until their mouths were a breath away. Azriel heard her breath hitch.

Then he pulled away rapidly, and she blinked. “Sweetheart, you know I can fuck you anytime I want, right? That is not going to persuade me to help you.”

Her brow furrowed, her nose scrunching up. Oh, she was furious. Azriel's mouth turned up into his calculated half smile.

“What do you want, Az?” she huffed.

“Hmm,” he said, taking his time to think. Claire scowled. “I haven’t decided yet. But when I need to call in a favor of my own, you have to promise to do it. No matter what,” he drawled.

To her credit, she really looked like she was thinking it through, trying to think of another way to push this girl off the list. But finally, she sighed. “Deal.”

He pushed off the wall, walking towards the door. “Alright, so I just have to seduce the bookworm? Easy.”

Claire shook her head, her eyes still alight with her anger. “No, if I’m going to agree to any favor you could possibly want, you’re going to have to go further. You need to make her fall in love with you.”

Azriel bristled a bit, leaning against the door now. “I know I’m an asshole, but that seems too far, don’t you think?”

“No. If she’s going to be distracted enough that her grades will slip, you need to make it seem real,” she said, and then smiled as if she had a wicked thought.

“What?” Azriel asked.

“And then you break her heart, right before exams,” she said excitedly, her eyes burning with enthusiasm now. “You tell her, in front of everyone, that it was all fake.”

He rubbed at his bicep, a nervous tic that Claire picked up on immediately. “Jesus, Claire. I don’t want to ruin this girl’s life.”

She arched her brow. “Why not? She’s ruining mine.”

Azriel rolled his eyes and Claire pounced, “Any favor, Az. Any time, you can tell me to do whatever you want,” she smirked. 

He groaned, pinching his nose. “Fine,” he ground out. “Where do I find her?”

Claire beamed. “Where else would a nerd be? The library, of course.”

---

You shifted in your seat, starting to feel sore after poring over your notes for hours. Maybe you should go for a walk. Maybe. But, you still had so much to do…

Groaning, you crossed your arms on the table, laying your head down on top of them. Just a minute, you just needed a tiny break --

“Studying always makes me feel like that, too,” said a low, male voice. 

You lifted your head, bewildered, and nearly choked on your own spit. The guy who was for some reason deigning to talk to you was… well, what other way was there to say it? He was drop-dead gorgeous. 

His face was stoic as he sauntered up to your table, his jet black hair was just a tad unruly, his hazel eyes burning into yours. But it was his body that made the breath completely escape your lungs. He was dressed in all black, his t-shirt hugging his chest and his biceps, showing off his every muscle, and there were swirling black tattoos peeking out from under his sleeves. 

All you could do was stare as he took the seat across from you, leaning back with his arms crossed like the two of you did this every day.

“What class is that for?” he asked, nodding to the textbook open in front of you, the dozens of papers scattered around you.

“Organic Chemistry,” you said, trying to sound like you were normal and not completely surprised by this handsome stranger finding you in your favorite quiet corner of the library.

He let out a low whistle, “Damn, you are smart.”

“What, did someone tell you I was?” you asked. 

“No, I just figured when I saw all the --” he gestured to your cluttered workspace, “homework stuff.”

You arched an eyebrow. “Homework stuff?”

His mouth turned up the slightest bit, holding up his hands like he was surrendering. “You caught me. I’m not much of an academic.”

“Then what are you doing here?” you asked curiously.

“Now, that is an excellent question,” he said, and really did seem like he was questioning it. “Girls? Parties? Though I could get girls anywhere and I don't particularly enjoy parties.”

You nodded. “Ah,” you said. “Got it.”

He braced his arms on the table, leaning forward. “I take it you’re not into that kinda thing?”

A dry laugh escaped from your throat, “Definitely not. I’m really only here for the--” you mimicked his gesture from earlier, “homework stuff.”

He barked out a laugh, his stoic face completely transforming for the briefest of moments. You couldn’t help but stare. “You’re telling me all you do is study? A beautiful girl like you? Please tell me you’ve been to at least one party,” he said, looking at you incredulously. 

You blushed. “No, I haven’t been to any.”

You braced yourself for impact, for the teasing or insults to come, but he just smiled softly. “You wanna go to one with me tonight?”

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “You don’t even know my name.”

The side of his mouth quirked up into a smile, his eyes dancing with amusement. “What's your name?”

Rolling your eyes, you told him.

“Nice to meet you. I'm Azriel.” He raised his eyebrows, “So? Party?”

“I thought you just said you don't like parties!”

“True, but I do love the thought of corrupting a sweet, innocent bookworm,” he smirked.

“No, thanks.” You couldn't imagine yourself going to a house party, especially not with a stranger.

Azriel's cool-guy demeanor seemed to drop the slightest bit. “Why not?”

You looked at him pointedly. “I don't know you. And I have no interest in being corrupted. Why do you want me to come to this party so badly anyway?”

He shrugged casually. “I like you.”

“You don't know me!”

“See, that, right there,” he snapped his fingers and pointed at you. “You're funny. Smart, beautiful. What's not to like?”

You forced yourself to hold his gaze, even as a blush rose to your cheeks. “I'm not going to a party with someone I don't know. They make true crime documentaries about that sort of thing.”

He seemed to contemplate that for a moment. “Okay, you make a fair point. What do you want to do then?”

“What do you mean?”

“You can pick our first date, since you didn't like my idea.”

“What date?” You blanched.

He arched an eyebrow. “Our first date? Weren't you listening?”

You studied him for a moment. For the life of you, you could not figure out what this guy's angle was. 

As if reading your mind, he said softly, “Look, I just saw you and thought you were really pretty, and that it looked like you could use a break from studying. That's it,” he held his hands up again. “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. If you want me to go, I'll go.”

For a beat longer, you watched him, his body language, his ridiculously pretty face. What was the harm, really? You sighed, tore off a scrap of paper from your notebook, scribbled out your number, then handed it to him. “I need to study. If you text me later, I'll let you know where we're going on the first date.” 

His face broke out into what might have been the first genuine smile you'd seen from him. He took the paper from you, his fingers brushing against yours.

“Can't wait.”

You were half expecting to never hear from Azriel again. But just a few hours later, as you were eating dinner in your apartment, your phone chimed with a text. 

Az: Done studying yet?

It was an effort to bite down your smile. 

You: Taking a break for dinner. 

It was less than a minute before he responded. 

Az: Dinner? Is that what our first date is going to be?

You didn’t try to hide your smile this time.

You: A little cliche, don’t you think?

Az: Oh, absolutely. So… what are we doing?

You: Meet at the tennis courts at 7 tomorrow?

Az: We’re playing tennis?

You: No, but I’m not giving you my address. And I’m not giving away the surprise.

Az: So smart. So mysterious. I’m swooning.

You: Shut up.

Az: See you tomorrow ;)

You tossed your phone to the side, forcing yourself to focus back on your schoolwork.

The following day you parked your car by the empty tennis courts on campus just before 7. It was early spring; the weather finally started to warm up enough to not be too chilly in the evening. Still, you rubbed your arms nervously. You were starting to regret this. You didn’t know this guy at all. What if it went horribly wrong?

Before you could contemplate bailing, a familiar figure rode up on a jet black motorcycle. Of course this guy had a motorcycle. You couldn't see his face underneath the helmet, but you would already recognize those tattooed arms anywhere. 

He parked his bike, smoothly sliding off it and taking his helmet off before sauntering over to you. “Hey, beautiful.” 

You rolled your eyes, sure that he had said that to a million girls on a million dates before.

“What? Don’t do that,” he said softly, his smile softening and his gaze raking down your body. “You are beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you said quietly, giving in. 

“So,” he said, towering over you. “What’s the plan?”

You smiled. “How’s your mini golf game?”

He raised an eyebrow, looking a little skeptical. “Mini golf? That’s what you’re choosing?”

“Yes, it is. Do you have something to say about that?” you teased. 

His eyes sparked at the tone in your voice. “Nope. Nothing at all.” He nodded to his motorcycle. “You wanna hop on the bike?”

You looked pointedly at him and he laughed. “Didn’t think so,” he gestured to your car. “Lead the way.”

Your nerves started to dim as the two of you fell into a rhythm going through the course. The two of you were just talking and laughing like it was normal. It was… fun, actually.

“Shit,” Azriel muttered as he overshot the hole. Again.

You laughed and his eyes flicked over to you, lingering a bit. “You’re good at this, bookworm,” he said as he took another shot, sinking it into the hole this time. You watched, leaning against your putter, having finished that hole two shots ago. 

Shrugging, you said, “I used to go with my family a lot.”

He placed his hand on the small of your back as you walked to the next hole. You cleared your throat, focusing on your steps, on your breathing, on anything but how it felt to have him touch you so casually. “What about you?”

“What about me?” he asked as you dropped your ball onto the green. 

You took your shot before you answered. The ball landed just shy of the hole. “What’s your family like?”

“My family…” he trailed off, clearing his throat, setting up his shot. He paused to look at you for a moment before he swung. “It’s complicated.”

He hit the ball and it stopped right next to yours. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” you said, as the two of you walked further down the hole.

“No, you didn’t. It’s just… I don’t really talk about them with anybody.”

You nodded, not sure where to go from here.

Azriel smiled reassuringly, nudging you lightly with his shoulder. “Stop worrying.”

“I’m not worrying,” you claimed, your voice an octave too high. 

“You are. I can tell.”

You bit your lip to hide your smile as you sunk your ball into the hole.

“I think I’m going to need some pointers from you on the next hole,” he grumbled. 

“I guess I could help you out,” you laughed. 

So, when you got to the next hole, the last hole, he stepped so close that your bodies were nearly touching. You tried to control your breathing. 

“You’re gonna help me out?” he murmured, his eyes flashing down to your lips for a moment. 

“Okay,” you breathed. 

He stepped behind you, his body pressed against your back, wrapping his arms around you, his hands covering yours on the club. 

“How is this going to help you, exactly?” you asked, your voice slightly unsteady. 

His lips brushed your ear as he said, “Oh, trust me, it’s helping.”

You couldn’t say anything. Could hardly breathe.

“What do you think I’m doing wrong?” He murmured. 

You swallowed. “You’re hitting it too hard. Not exactly rocket science.”

“Mmm. That makes sense. I do tend to go… hard.”

That finally had you coming to your senses. You stepped out of his grasp, turning back to glare at him when you were a safe distance away. 

The side of his mouth turned up into a smile. “Sorry. I couldn't help myself.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him again. “Just take your shot.”

He smirked at you for a moment, before he swung, and the ball went right into the hole. 

He turned to you, his eyes wide. You laughed and he hugged you, picking you up and spinning you around. 

You let out an involuntary squeal of surprise, and he laughed, gazing into your eyes as he set you back on the ground. “Thanks for the help.”

“I think you’ve been playing me this whole time,” you joked. 

His smile fell a little, his eyes sobering. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked. When he just stared at you, his expression unreadable, you added, “Azriel, I was joking.”

He blinked and then his natural, stoic expression was back as he took a step closer to you. “Right. I think you’re just a good teacher.”

You just looked at him, trying to decipher the changes in his mood, who he really was underneath the gruff exterior.

He smiled faintly, stepping even closer. “What are you thinking about?”

You had to crane your neck to look him in the eye now. “I'm trying to figure out what you're thinking about.”

Azriel's smile turned into a smirk. “I'm thinking… that I really want to kiss you. But I don't want to scare you away.”

Heat flooded your face and his smile turned softer as he cupped your cheek gently with a rough hand. “Would it scare you away?” He murmured.

“I -- don't know,” you said honestly.

His hazel eyes dipped to your lips and stayed there. “I think I'm gonna have to take the risk,” he said, his voice low, husky.

“I think so, too,” you breathed.

His free hand slinked around your waist, gently pulling your body into his. Your heart thundered in your chest as he leaned down, slowly bringing his lips to yours. He seemed to give you a moment to process, and you felt him smile against your mouth when you started to kiss him back, your fingers curling around his bicep, his shoulder.

You were breathless by the time he pulled away, and as the two of you drove back to the tennis courts, you couldn't help but hope that it would happen again by the end of the night.

When you parked your car near his motorcycle in the abandoned lot, he lingered, his gaze holding yours, dropping to your mouth again.

He shot you a crooked smile. “Aren't you gonna walk me to my bike?”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you got out of the car, walking over to the motorcycle and settling against the fence near it, crossing your arms over your chest. “Happy now?” You asked.

Slowly, he sauntered over to you, his eyes twinkling under the stars. He raised his arm, twining his fingers in the chain link fence above your head, leaning his body towards you, but not quite touching. He gazed down at you, still sporting that half smile. “Very happy,” he murmured.

Your breath hitched and when his smile widened, you knew he heard it. 

He held your gaze as he leaned down, bringing his mouth to yours again. You let yourself fall deeper into the kiss this time, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into you. 

When he finally pulled away, he was grinning. “Want to go for a ride before you head home?” He said, nodding to his motorcycle.

You had stepped far enough out of your comfort zone for today. “Maybe next time.”

He raised his eyebrows in amusement. “So you're giving me a next time?”

Damn. You blushed. “I said maybe.”

“Uh huh, sure,” he said, leaning in again so his lips were barely an inch from yours. “You can't wait to see me again,” he whispered.

You shoved him away lightly and he chuckled, backing up towards his bike, but keeping his eyes on you. “Until next time, then. Have a good night, bookworm.” He winked before putting his helmet on and speeding away.

A few weeks, a few dates, and several kisses later, you couldn't deny that Azriel was on your mind quite a bit.

You had never thought that someone like him would be interested in someone like you, but he seemed to prove time and time again that he did indeed like you. He texted you flirty little things every day, making you blush in class. He asked about your day, and seemed to genuinely be listening, and he would do pretty much anything you wanted on your dates. Last week, the two of you had gone to a local bookstore and he had watched you browse, a small smile on his face. He ended up picking out a book he wanted you to read and you did the same for him. He had been sending you daily updates on his progress through the book. Slowly, you were starting to let your walls down, despite yourself.

So, when he asked you to finally go to a party with him, to meet his friends, you accepted. You still felt cautious: partying had never been something that you were remotely interested in, but you trusted him.

---

Azriel knew he had to tread this next part carefully. Things had been going well with you. He let you take control of your time together so you would be comfortable, and honestly, he was actually having a really good time getting to know you and seeing where you would take him next.

And when you kissed him… God. It was always a struggle to keep his hands on your waist, to stay PG. He wished he could explore things further with you in that regard, but he wouldn't let himself go there. Not when your broken heart was the finish line.

He rarely let himself think about it -- the deal that he had made with Claire. Being with you felt so natural that he usually forgot he was supposed to be acting. That he was supposed to be leading you to Claire’s revenge.

He had convinced you to come to a party, upon Claire's request so she could see the progress he had made with you. You had said yes, he assumed because you trusted him enough now. The thought made his stomach roll. He was really starting to hate himself for getting mixed up in this.

Azriel acted differently around you than he did around the rest of the general population. At a young age he had learned to keep quiet, to not show a single emotion on his pretty face, to be tough, or be punished. 

With you… he couldn't help but smile. Couldn't stop the laughs that he usually stomped down for the rest of the world.

So, having his two worlds collide at this party…he didn't know exactly how to navigate it. Deep down, it made his heart swell that you trusted him enough to help you navigate something so far out of your comfort zone. But if his friends saw the way he acted around you, he would never hear the end of it.

This would be a mess.

If Azriel wasn't leaning against his motorcycle when you exited your apartment building, he may have fallen over. You were wearing skintight jeans and a black tank top that showed more cleavage than he ever imagined he'd see from you. His fingers flexed on his biceps. He wanted to pull you back into your apartment and spend an hour peeling those clothes away inch by inch.

He blinked the lust away, trying to maintain his stoic expression, but failed, as he always did with you. He smiled at you and you smiled back. 

He could tell by the way you carried yourself as you neared him that you were nervous. “Hey, beautiful,” he drawled his usual greeting as you wrapped your arms around his waist in your usual greeting.

“Hi,” you said, a little sheepishly. His eyes must have lingered on your curves a little too long because your eyes widened a bit, and you bit your lip nervously as you pulled away from him. He nearly groaned. “Is it too much? Do I look stupid?”

Azriel placed his hands on your shoulders gently, dipping his head to look you in the eyes. “You look amazing. Seriously.”

You blushed and murmured, “Thank you.”

He had to turn away, to grab your helmet, so you wouldn't see how much you affected him. He fucking loved it when he made you blush like that. 

Azriel turned back to you, holding up the helmet, his eyebrows raising with amusement. “You ready to join the dark side, bookworm?”

You sighed, shifting on your feet. 

“It'll be okay,” he said softly. “I got you.”

You nodded, seeming to resolve yourself, and reached for the helmet with slightly shaking hands.

He helped you make sure it was on correctly, his fingers brushing your chin, your neck. He bit back a smile as you shivered.

Azriel held your hand as you got settled on the back of the bike, showing you where to put your feet, and how to shift your weight with him.

When you seemed at least somewhat comfortable, he slid his helmet on, smoothly setting onto the motorcycle. You wrapped your arms around his middle, pressing your chest into his back. You were already holding him like your life depended on it, and he beamed freely underneath the helmet.

“Hold on tight,” he shot back at you, before he revved the engine, taking off much more gently than he normally would.

He tried not to think about the feel of you pressed into him, how tightly you were holding on. It didn't work. He wanted to drive you everywhere.

He couldn't resist reaching back to briefly squeeze your thigh at a red light. “How are you doing?”

“Good,” you said. He couldn't be sure, but he thought he heard a smile in your voice.

Too soon in Azriel's opinion, they had made it to the party. He parked, offering you his hand to help you get down.

When he pulled the helmet off your head, he was pleased to see that you were indeed smiling.

“Have fun?” He smirked.

“I did, actually,” you said, sounding a little breathless. 

“Whenever you need a ride, you just let me know,” he winked.

You laughed, glancing behind him at the house. 

He took your hand in his, squeezing reassuringly. You seemed to relax a bit. “We can leave whenever you want, okay?”

Taking a deep breath, you nodded and smiled nervously up at him.

You were doing this for him, he realized. Because he had asked you to. His heart constricted, guilt churning in his gut again as he led you inside, your hand squeezing his tightly. 

His shoulders tightened as he led you through the crowd, making sure you were tucked in close to him. 

“You want a drink?” he asked, as you made your way to the kitchen.

“Sure,” you said.

He rifled through what was on the sticky counter, trying to find something not disgusting for you to drink, making sure you stayed close to him. 

Finally handing you a cup, he put your hand on the small of your back, guiding you to a corner of the living room that wasn’t yet very crowded. He took a seat on the couch and you settled in next to him, tucked closely into his side. 

You smiled, leaning your shoulder into his. “Is this really it?” You asked skeptically. “You just sit here and drink around a bunch of drunk idiots?”

He laughed before he could stop himself. “I mean, yeah, that’s pretty much it,” he said, dipping his head to say in your ear. “Or we could dance. Or make out,” he smiled against your ear. 

You blushed and he laughed again, kissing your temple. 

Azriel wrapped an arm around your shoulders as Cassian and Rhys showed up, grinning at you, their eyebrows raised. Azriel fought the urge to roll his eyes. They had seen him laughing with you, kissing you, he knew. He had nearly forgotten where he was, why he was here with you. He loved them, but he wasn’t sure what they would say to you about him. They didn’t know about his arrangement with Claire, and he had been keeping details about his relationship with you as vague as possible.

“So you’re the one Az has been spending all his time with,” Cassian grinned. 

You smiled sheepishly, leaning further into Azriel. “I guess.”

Azriel nodded to his friends. “This is Cassian and Rhysand. They’ve been my best friends since we were kids.”

He could tell you were intrigued by that. He still hadn’t told you anything about his childhood. 

Before you could ask any questions, Claire showed up next to Azriel’s friends, her expression the very picture of friendship. It unsettled him so much that he held you closer to him, so you were practically on his lap. 

“Hi Claire,” you smiled, and his heart sank. You really had no idea how Claire felt about you. 

Claire smiled back. “Hey. I never expected to see you here.”

“I’m trying new things,” you said, smiling lightly at Azriel.

He couldn’t take it, having you so close to Claire, seeing that trust you had in him when you looked at him. He cleared his throat, standing up and offering you his hand. You took it, smiling politely at Claire and his friends as he led you through the house, out to the backyard. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked, looking up at him curiously as he leaned his back against the side of the house.

“Yeah,” he said, unable to stop the smile that rose to his face as you gazed at him with your big doe eyes. He tugged you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I just wanted you to myself for a minute.”

“Oh yeah?” you flushed, and before he could stop himself, he kissed your cheeks, feeling the heat against his lips before his lips met yours in a slow, sensual kiss.

He was still kissing you when he heard Cassian snickering close by. “Oh shit, he’s whipped.”

Azriel rolled his eyes as he pulled away from you, but kept his hold on your waist. “How am I whipped?”

Cassian’s eyes gleamed with mischief and Azriel’s heart started to pound. “Sneaking out here on your own. You’re usually content to stay on the couch to make out with your girl of the week.”

Your body tensed in his arms and Azriel groaned internally, glaring at Cassian, who smirked. “Oh, she didn’t know? My bad, Az.”

Azriel’s expression was enough to send Cassian back inside. 

Your brow furrowed as you stepped back, out of his reach. “Girl of the week?”

He winced. “He’s being dramatic.”

You raised your eyebrows, glaring at him, crossing your arms over your chest. 

It was kind of adorable, but Azriel reigned in that comment. He held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, look. I told you when we met that I go to parties and meet girls there. But things are different now,” he said, taking a step closer to you. And it was true. Things were different. You had been the one haunting his thoughts since that first date. He had barely looked at anyone else since.

After a moment, you sighed, and he knew you wouldn’t resist when he wrapped his arms back around you. 

“Cassian’s an idiot,” he murmured, his focus back on your lips that he was dying to kiss again.

“So I’m not the girl of the week?” you said quietly, your eyes on his lips now. 

He smiled. “We’ve been seeing each other for several weeks, haven’t we?”

You nodded, biting your lip, before you stood up on your tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his lips. Azriel was surprised by his own relief. “Are we going back inside?” you asked. 

“Not if you don’t want to,” he said, wrapping his arms around your waist again. 

Pursing your lips in thought, you said, “Mmm. Let’s go back in.”

“Yeah?” he said, surprised.

You smiled up at him, resting your chin on his chest. His heart melted. “I’m trying to be brave.”

He kissed your forehead, smiling faintly. “I’m proud of you, bookworm.”

You beamed, your whole face lighting up. 

Azriel led you inside, his hand on the small of your back, trying to manage the swell of emotions in his chest. He didn’t have the time to process them right now. 

The two of you mingled throughout the party for a few hours, and you even went so far as to dance with him for a bit, your body pressed against his, your hips swaying to the beat of the pounding music. He could hardly believe it, the way you let loose with him.

He stopped in the bathroom before the two of you left. He wasn’t gone for more than a few minutes, but when he returned, he spotted you near the kitchen, backing away from a guy who was clearly very drunk and very horny. Azriel saw red. 

Before he could take a second to think, Azriel was upon the bastard, punching him in the jaw. 

He heard you yelp. The asshole staggered back, swearing, his hand cradling his jaw. Azriel barely spared him a glance, his hands gently holding either side of your face, his gaze raking your body, searching for any sign that he had touched you. 

Your eyes were wide, your breathing labored, but you seemed physically fine. “Are you okay?” he asked. 

You nodded, your eyes still frantic. 

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders as he led you outside. Claire caught his eye on the way out, hers shining with delight. He scowled at her. 

When you made it outside, he hugged you to his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

“I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

You snorted. “You were gone for a few minutes. It’s not your fault that men are gross.”

“Are you okay, really?” He asked, pulling back to look you in the eye.

“I’m okay,” you said quietly. 

He held you close to him, gazing at you for another moment before you smiled faintly. “You really didn’t need to punch him, you know.”

He winced slightly, remembering the yelp you let out when he threw that punch. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you said, rising on your tiptoes to kiss him. 

Azriel held you until his heart rate slowed down, until his body was convinced that you were okay.

Later, after he had dropped you off at your apartment, Azriel stayed awake, tossing and turning, so many images from that night racing through his mind.

The way his heart constricted every time you smiled at him, the horror he felt at seeing Claire play nice, the terror and rage that flowed through his entire body when he saw that creep bothering you…

Azriel knew then, that he had real feelings for you. Shit.

---

“C’mon, baby, you’ve been studying for ages already,” Azriel murmured, standing behind you as you sat at your desk in your apartment, his arms draped around your chest, his lips trailing down your neck.

Your toes curled, heat running right through you. You wanted to give in. You really did. But…

You sighed. “I’m sorry, Az. I have this big exam on Tuesday. And finals are only a few weeks away.”

For some reason, that comment made his entire body stiffen. “Oh, yeah. Finals.”

You snorted. “Don’t tell me you forgot about finals.”

“No, I just… they’re soon.” His voice wavered a bit as he stood up fully. You twisted in your seat to look up at him. His brow was furrowed, his eyes swimming with anxiety. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, reaching up and cupping his cheek with your hand. “Do you need me to help you study?” He had never seemed to care about his grades before.

He leaned into your touch for a moment, shooting you a forced smile. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. I should go, and let you study.” He stooped down to press a quick kiss to your lips. “I won’t distract you anymore today.” 

Before you could even respond, he was out the door. 

You turned back to your notes, but couldn’t digest any of the information. That was… weird.

Azriel and you had been dating for months now. Though neither of you had ever put a label on it, you both knew you were exclusive. 

In the privacy of your own mind, you secretly loved that he acted so differently around you than he did out and about on campus. You felt like you got a different version of him that was saved especially for you. It made your heart swell, all the little things he did for you each day. 

You were also willing to admit, to yourself only, that you were absolutely in love with him. You had known for weeks now, and had been debating whether or not you should tell him. 

He had been the one that made you step out of your comfort zone, to try new things, to be brave. 

So, soon. You would tell him soon.

--- 

Azriel had to get out of the deal. Now.

He remembered the exact moment that he realized he was in love with you. It was a random afternoon, the two of you were watching TV at his apartment. He was laying on the couch, you were laying on top of him, your legs intertwined with his, your head on his chest. He was absentmindedly running his fingers through your hair while you giggled about something that happened on the show. 

And he had the thought. I want my whole life to look like this. 

And he knew. He loved you.

This had scared him, obviously, on multiple levels. He had never loved anyone before, never knew what that looked like. Yet somehow, he knew without a doubt that it was true. 

And then, of course, there was the deal he had made with the devil. 

He had known early on that he would have to get out of the deal. He had just been putting it off, hoping that Claire’s insanity would die down throughout the semester. 

But now his time was up. 

He prayed to whoever might be listening that Claire would listen to reason. That she would call it off. He couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you. He wouldn’t do it. 

Claire smirked as she opened the door. “I’ve been wondering when you would show up. It’s been a long time, Az,” she purred. 

Azriel stalked into her apartment, barely sparing her a glance. “The deal’s off, Claire.”

She cocked her head to the side, amused. “Oh? Why is that?”

“Because it’s insane,” he growled. “You were insane for coming up with it, and I was insane for agreeing to it. I’m done.”

Slowly, her lips curled up into a lethal smile. “You fell for her.”

Azriel blinked. 

Claire cackled. “Oh, this is rich. You actually fell for the bookworm? I never thought I’d see the day. No wonder you haven’t been crawling into my bed.”

He scowled. “The deal’s off,” he repeated in the tone he used to scare people away.

She really looked at him then, her eyes bearing into his. After a moment, she finally said, “Okay.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Okay? Just like that?”

Claire shrugged. “You were right. It was an insane plan. And it didn’t even work,” she said bitterly. “You suck at your job. She’ll still be on the top of the Dean’s list, even after all your lovey-dovey shit.”

A swell of pride ran through him at the thought of your name at the top of that list.

“Alright,” he said, his brow furrowed, trying to figure out if there was some kind of angle here. But, there didn’t seem to be one. 

He left quickly, his heart and mind feeling lighter. The guilt of how the two of you started would always be there, he knew. But now when he looked into the future, it wasn’t a hazy blur of nothingness that he saw. It was you.

---

The week before finals, there were parties everywhere. So you heard. 

You had gone to a few more with Az over the past few months. It still wasn’t exactly your thing, but you didn’t mind going, especially with Azriel being so attentive to you every time you did. 

Azriel didn’t seem particularly interested in going to this one, but his friends had been complaining that they never saw him anymore, so he agreed to go. And you had agreed to go with him, if only to take a break from your near constant studying these days.

You followed him through the crowd, his hand clasping yours, as always. Drinks in hand, you made your way to the outskirts of a group of people who were dancing and you joined them, Azriel pulling you in close to him, moving against you.

A laugh burst from you, and Azriel grinned, leaning down to kiss you. 

You were so happy, you thought. So happy in that moment with him. You knew people watched you, as they usually did when Azriel was like this with you. You didn’t care.

When he pulled back from the kiss, he gazed down at you, his eyes swimming with affection. 

“I love you,” you said before you could stop it.

His eyes sobered, and he pulled you in even closer, so your bodies were flush together. He leaned his forehead against yours, and in a crowd of people, Azriel said, a soft smile on his face, “I love you, too.”

Your heart leaped and you grinned, threading your fingers in his hair and bringing his lips to yours. 

Suddenly, the music stopped, and from the TV came a voice. Azriel’s voice. 

Everyone turned to the sound, curiously, watching. The video was jumpy, filming the floor, like it was filmed from someone’s pocket. 

Azriel tensed, his arms still around you. “Fuck,” he said. “We need to go.”

Utterly confused, you didn’t argue as he pulled you through the crowd. But you stopped dead in your tracks when you heard video Azriel say, “Sweetheart, you know I can fuck you anytime I want, right? That is not going to persuade me to help you.”

Your blood ran cold, shock jolting from your heart down to your toes. Azriel was tugging on your arm, but you didn’t budge as you heard Claire’s voice next. 

Claire. He had been talking to Claire. What did he mean, that he could fuck her whenever he wanted? You hadn’t even known that they knew each other. When was this filmed?

“Baby, please, I’ll explain everything, but we need to go,” Azriel was saying, sounding frantic. 

You wrenched your arm from his grasp, weaving through the still crowd, moving toward the TV. You heard him swear, calling your name behind you, but you kept moving.

They were saying something about a deal, about him owing her a favor. You couldn’t make sense of it, not until you heard video Azriel say, “Alright, so I just have to seduce the bookworm? Easy.”

Video Claire responded, “No, if I’m going to agree to any favor you could possibly want, you’re going to have to go further. You need to make her fall in love with you.”

It was then that you noticed Claire, next to the TV, her eyes locked on you, smirking. 

You couldn’t breathe, your legs were going to give out -- 

It was all fake. All of it. 

Azriel caught up to you then, picking you up, slinging you over his shoulder. You didn’t protest, the shock setting in. You had to get out of there, even if it was him that carried you out. 

When he made it outside, you pounded on his back with your fists. “Put me down, you asshole!”

“Sorry,” Azriel said, wincing as he gently set you on your feet. “You looked like you were going to pass out.”

“Like you even care,” you spat, storming away from him. 

“Of course I care. Please, just give me a minute to explain,” he pleaded, following you. 

“Explain what?” You stopped abruptly, spinning around to face him. “That you played me for a fool? Made me fall in love with you as a sick joke? Well, congratulations, it worked,” you said, pouring every ounce of venom that you could muster into your voice. You turned back around and continued walking as tears started pricking your eyes. You refused to let him see you cry.

“It may have started out that way, but it’s not like that anymore. From the first date, I had feelings for you. I love you. You have to believe that,” he said, right on your heels. 

You knew he could catch up with you easily if he wanted to. He was hanging back, trying to give you your space. That pissed you off even more. “How could I possibly believe that?” 

“Because you feel it, I know you do,” he said, finally wrapping his fingers around your wrist.

You tugged your hand free, but stopped walking, needing to catch your breath. You faced him. “What was the point?” You asked quietly. “Why make the deal?”

It didn’t matter. But you had to know.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Claire and I used to date. When you transferred, you pushed her off the top spot of the Dean’s list. She hated you for it. She said she would give me any favor I wanted if I made you fall for me… to distract you from school.”

You were so surprised that the tears you had been holding in started to fall. You angrily swatted them away. 

Azriel continued, “I said no at first, but she was persistent, and…” he took a deep breath, darting his eyes away from you for a moment. They were shining with unshed tears. “I have no excuse. I agreed to it. I’m an asshole. But you made me want to be different.”

“Was any of it true?” You heard yourself saying, your voice breaking. 

He lifted his hand, like he was about to reach for yours, then let it drop, thinking better of it. “It was all true. From our first date, you were breaking down my walls, making me smile, making me laugh.” He smiled sadly. “I fell for you. I love you,” he said, and now a lone tear did slide down his cheek. “I called it off with Claire ages ago. I told her I was out, and she agreed. I… I didn’t know she filmed it.”

You wanted to believe him, that he really did love you. But… “Even if you do love me, that doesn’t change what you did,” you said in a small voice. 

Azriel sniffed, wiping the tears off his face. “I know. I am so, so sorry.”

Shaking your head, backing away from him, you choked out, “I don’t -- I can’t. I can’t do this right now.”

He took a step toward you, his eyes pleading. “Please. Please don’t go.”

Turning your back to him, you walked away, barely registering the pavement beneath your feet, the direction you were going. 

Azriel called your name, but you kept walking.

You knew he had followed you home, not letting you walk alone at night. You watched his form retreat after you locked yourself inside your apartment with trembling hands. 

You went to bed, not even bothering to change. Laying on your back, watching your ceiling fan spin around and around, you tried to identify all that you were feeling: shame, humiliation, sorrow. Fury. 

Replaying all that had happened between you, all the times he was probably laughing at you with his friends behind your back. You felt nauseous. 

How could he do this? How could he have played you for so long?

What the hell were you supposed to do now?

You woke up to several missed calls and texts from Azriel, all sent hours apart. It seemed that he didn’t get any sleep at all.

I am so sorry. I’m the worst person in the world. I know that. 

I know what you’re thinking right now. I know that you’re going over it all in your head. But, it was real, baby. It was all real. I swear it was. I love you so much.

I’m hoping you’re getting some sleep. Can I see you today?

Groaning, you tossed your phone to the side, and took a long shower. By the time you got out, someone was knocking on your door. 

You quickly dressed in some old pajamas and called through the door, “Go away, Az.”

“Well, at least you’re alive,” you heard him say. “Can I please come in? Two minutes?”

You threw the door open, furious. “No, you cannot come in. You humiliated me. You used me. You had your fun. What else could you possibly want?”

Azriel was standing on the threshold, his hands in his pockets nervously, his facial expression looked like you had just slapped him. “I want to apologize! I want to make things better, that’s what I want.”

Biting your lip to keep from crying, you said quietly, “Go away.” 

His face fell. “I love you.”

Shaking your head, you said, “You don’t.”

He took a step forward, wedging his foot on the door jam so you couldn’t close it on him. “I do,” he said, his eyes pleading, baring into yours. “You know that I do. You know I’ve never let anybody else see the real me. Nobody but you.”

Tears spilled onto your cheeks then, and he wiped them away gently. Despite everything, you couldn’t back away. “It doesn’t matter,” you croaked. “You only went out with me so you could help her ruin my life.”

Azriel opened his mouth, as if to reply, but then shut it. 

You laughed humorlessly. “See? Even you don’t have a comeback.”

His eyes softened, his rough fingers still absentmindedly stroking your cheeks. “Please,” he said again. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not enough,” you whispered, your heart breaking all over again as you looked up at him, at the pain in his eyes.

“How do I fix it?” He whispered back, tears sliding freely down his cheeks now.

“I don’t know,” you said, stepping back out of his grasp. “Please, Az. I just -- I need to be alone right now.”

He nodded, drawing his arm across his face to wipe the tears away. “Okay. Okay, I’ll umm -- I’ll see you later?”

You didn’t know how to answer that, didn’t know if you would see him again at all. He took a step back, into the hallway. 

Without another word, you shut the door.

Especially knowing where that awful bet had originated, you refused to let Azriel and Claire get in your head for finals. You buckled down, spending entire days at the library studying, writing papers, finishing projects. 

It was helpful, actually. You didn’t allow yourself to think about him, about all the memories you had that had become so tainted and confusing. 

By the end of the semester, you had maintained all your A’s, passing every final with flying colors. And thus, secured the very top spot of the Dean’s list.

Azriel had been texting and calling every day. You left them all unanswered. 

You hadn’t yet had time to think, to process through the hurt. 

A new text chimed as you were packing up your car to head home for the summer. 

Saw the list. Nicely done, bookworm. I know it doesn’t matter, but I really am proud of you. Looks like all that hard work paid off ❤️

Despite everything, there was a swell of emotion in your chest at his words. God, why did everything have to be so awful?

Later, you were hefting your last box into your trunk when you heard the distinct sound of a motorcycle slowing down behind you. Your heart raced. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to see him again or not.

Slowly, you turned around to see Azriel sliding off the bike, his helmet tucked under his arm. “Hey, beautiful,” he said, somewhat tentatively.

“Hi,” you said softly. 

He nodded to your car, his expression grave. “You’re leaving?”

“Back home for the summer,” you said, unable to take your eyes off him. He looked tired. And sad. 

A moment passed silently, the two of you just looking at each other, pain hanging in the air between you.

“I miss you,” he said quietly. 

You sighed. Willed yourself to be brave. “I miss you, too,” you admitted. 

Something like hope gleamed in his eyes. “I love you,” he murmured. 

“I --” you started, and couldn’t bear it. “I need time.”

He looked crestfallen, like you had just punched him in the gut, but he nodded. “The summer?”

You swallowed. “Okay,” you said. “Okay. I get the summer, and I’ll find you in the fall. We’ll talk then.”

“Thank you,” he said, quietly. “Thank you for… for that. For talking to me now,” he winced. “I know I don’t deserve it.”

“No, you don’t,” you said, but there was no malice in it. You were too tired. “I get the summer, Az. Don’t contact me until school starts.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, but agreed. “Okay. I’ll see you in September,” he said, backing up towards his bike. “Have a good summer, bookworm,” he added with the slightest of smiles, before he slid on his helmet and drove away.

---

You spent most of the summer moping around, reading books, and trying to sort through everything that happened, all the feelings you had. 

For three months, you sifted through every moment that Azriel and you had shared together, picking them apart, deciphering every movement. 

It may have been slightly unhealthy.

You believed that what you and Azriel had was real. You believed that he did love you. And you couldn’t deny that you loved him. That maybe you always would. 

Was it worth it to deny yourself the person who had made you so happy? Who had taught you new things, who had helped you out of your comfort zone?

As September grew closer, you still weren’t sure. 

 ---

Azriel got more and more anxious as the summer came to a close. It had been torture to not contact you at all, but he knew he was in no position to be asking you for anything, so he did as you asked. 

The hurt on your face those months ago was still a clear image in his mind that haunted his nightmares. He would never forgive himself for hurting you. 

Yet, he couldn’t stop imagining what would happen when he saw you again. Would you give him another chance? You would have to be a saint to even contemplate that. But then again, you were the best person he had ever known. If anyone would be able to forgive, it would be you.

Scowling, he stomped that shred of hope down. He couldn’t go into this having any expectations. 

Soon, he would know.

---

It was bittersweet coming back to school. Academia was where you thrived. You felt right at home in the library, stacks of papers all around you. 

And you used to feel at home with Azriel. 

You sighed at the thought. The first day of classes was tomorrow. You had told Azriel not to contact you until school started back up again, and knowing him, he would take that seriously. 

Deep down, you knew what you wanted to do. It terrified you, though. 

Sure enough, the next morning, you had a text from him:

Hey, bookworm. Hope your first day of classes goes well. 

The slightest smile spread across your lips. You knew he was probably dying to ask when he could see you, but was trying to keep it light. Leave the ball in your court.

For the first time since everything, you texted him back.

Thanks, Az. Yours, too. 

He opened it immediately. After a moment, you willed yourself to send another:

Wanna meet up at the tennis courts tonight? 

His reply came at lightning speed:

7?

Reigning in your smile, you replied:

7.

You couldn’t remember ever being this nervous as you walked to the tennis courts. There were a few people playing, so you sat underneath a tree nearby, willing your legs to stop shaking. 

Right on time, a familiar motorcycle turned into the parking lot. He spotted you immediately, striding over to you with unsure steps. 

“Hey, beautiful,” he said quietly. 

You looked up at him, your heart racing at the familiarity you felt. “Hi,” you said, and after the briefest hesitation, you patted the grass next to you. You weren’t sure you would be able to stand. 

Immediately, he plopped down across from you, his knees only inches from yours as he faced you. 

His eyes were locked on yours. “How was your summer?” he said, his voice cracking slightly. 

“Okay,” you said. “How was yours?”

“Okay,” he said quietly. 

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself. “Okay, here’s the thing. I did a lot of thinking. A lot of thinking. And I do love you, Az.”

You paused, not sure how to word what you were feeling. 

“But?” Azriel said, his voice dripping with trepidation, his eyes guarded.

“But it’s going to take some time before I can trust you again.”

Azriel swallowed, his eyes never wavering from yours. 

He seemed like he was waiting for you to continue before he said anything, so you added, quietly, “I am willing to try, though. To give us another chance.”

The tautness in his body released, relief flooding his features. “Really?” he croaked, tears swimming in his eyes. 

You could only nod before he launched towards you, knocking you on your back, before he threaded his fingers through your hair, kissing you deeply. 

You laughed, as his other hand came up to cup your face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I swear I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you,” he said against your lips.

Wrapping your arms around him, you sighed into his kiss. “I know, Az. I know.”

“I love you,” he murmured, moving to kiss down your neck.

“I love you, too.”

“I missed you so much,” he groaned before kissing your lips again.

You giggled. “I missed you, too.”

He finally stopped kissing you, settling his elbows on either side of your head, leaning his forehead against yours. “Thank you. For giving me another chance.”

Smiling, you kissed him swiftly on the lips. “Don’t mess it up.”

“I won’t. I swear I won’t.”

The two of you spent the rest of the afternoon in each other’s arms, going over your respective summers. 

Eventually, Azriel propped himself on an elbow, gazing at you with all the love in the world.

“What?” you asked. 

He grinned. “You wanna go mini golfing, bookworm?”

You couldn’t help but return his smile. “Only if I can help you again.”

Azriel leaned down to gently kiss your forehead. “It’s a deal.”

A/N: wanna see more of these two?? Check out part 2!

@thalia-as-blog @saltedcoffeescotch

[chososlilprincess]

last part of virgin!Choso<3 (im gonna write more for him tho, just in other scenarios!!) other parts here: part 1 part 2 part 4

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Virgin Choso who stands on his small balcony, looking over the city, a grey cloud creeping out between his lips.

Choso had taken up smoking. He’d asked Leiri about it when he’d seen her doing it, and she’d told him it helped her to relax. he’d bought a pack right after that. The first couple of times he’d coughed the smoke out. But now he does it smoothly, inhaling and exhaling the smoke with no problem. It makes him feel at ease even just for a moment, and lord knows he needs it right now. Humans are fucking weird he thinks, they’d jepordize their health for a little break from their troubles. Guess that doesnt sound so ridiculous now that he thinks about it. Either way hes a human now too, or a half one atleast.

he squeezes the cigarette into an ashtray and looks at the time when he hears the door bell ringing. Its late and you’re here.

he hears you running up the stairs, and when you get to the top you run to him, giving him a soft hug. His heart keens.

“hi Choso!” you smile and let go of him, he immediately misses the feel of you, “hey,” he mumbles.

“why do you smell like cigerattes?” you huff and your nose crickles. cute.

he raises his shoulders.

“i cant believe it…who taught u to do that huh?” you make a disappointed face and fold your arms, tapping your foot on the floor. And he knows youre just joking, you and Yuji have been using enough sarcasm around him for him to have a pretty good understanding of it.

“Leiri,” he shrugs.

“of course…that hag,” you grin. And you look so fucking adorable, in your little outfit, and the way you look when you smile makes him weak. He has your bag ready on the couch, he had washed your panties before putting everything back into it. But he can’t think about that now, or he’ll turn bright red.

he sighs “i made dinner,” he says, “if you’re hungry,” you stop infront of him and you almost look like youre gonna cry from happiness. “im starving,” you say quickly, “what did you make?”

He’d made rice bowls for you. your favourite. And you eat like a girl who’d gotten her first meal in months. Happily humming while eating your food.

Rather than focusing on eating his own bowl, he thinks about eating every meal of the day with you, sitting across from him.

when you’re done you put your plate in the sink and you yawn, you look adorable when you yawn, you look adorable when you do anything.

you turn around, “Choso?”

his heart skips a beat. he nods.

“it’s really late and um…dark outside and i don’t really want to walk home alone,” you look away, are you….blushing?

“is it okay if i stay here for the night?”

And hes heard the stories. About what happens to pretty girls when they’re alone at night and they don’t see the stranger walking behind them. And his fist clenches at the thought of someone being mean to you. He’s stronger than any human. he’d crush their fucking skull.

“you can stay,” he says quickly, a little too eagerly he realises. And you smile, “give me your plate,” you say, looking greatful that he let you stay, unknowing of the fact that he’d do just about anything if it meant your safety, or your happiness.

You start washing the dishes in his tiny kitchen, and when Choso tries insisting that he wants to help, you splash a bit of water on him. And you laugh so sweetly, when he jumps a little, trying not to get hit.

When youre done washing up, You both stand in silence for a while. For some reason its not as akward as it sounds.

“i will sleep on the couch,” he says,

“no Choso…id feel bad, you sleep in your bed,” you mumble.

You both argue like that for a while, and youre not letting up. stubborn little human.

you both get quiet for a moment.

“how big is your bed?”

“Queen size,”

“so why dont we just…sleep in it together?”

youre blushing slightly again. it must be his imagination.

And then he thinks about it. Friends sleep in the same bed sometimes right? you dont mean anything by it, he thinks, its just you being polite.

“i guess…we could do that yes,” he agrees.

you smile and nod, “okay,”

Choso excuses himself to go to the bathroom then, telling you to go ahead and get ready for bed.

He looks at himself in the mirror. He takes out his buns, his hair falling down to his shoulders. His eyes are dark and sunken. He looks dead he thinks. He looks down, “behave,” he says quietly, mostly to his heart, but also his dick.

he buries his head in his hands And He realizes he cant, he realizes the second he’s gonna look at you in his bed, he won’t be able to stop himself. to stop himself from confessing everything he feels, everything he’s done. that he thinks about you all the time, that you drive him insane, that he stole your pretty panties and came in his hand from the smell of your wet cunt.

When he rounds the corner of his bedroom, you’re sitting patiently on the edge of his bed, waiting for him.

“i am going to sleep on the couch, i don’t think this is a good idea,” he says it quickly, before he changes his mind, before its too late to go back.

you open your mouth to speak, hesitating a little.

“is it because of what yuji told me?”

his brain goes quiet. “what?”

“that you…that you like me?”

fuck. its over. he sighs angrily. that little fucki-

you stand and walk to him.

and when you put your hand on his chest, for a moment he forgets why hes mad, he forgets who he is and what year hes in. all he sees is you. And how close you are all of a sudden. and how youre leaning in, standing on your tippy toes, pressing your soft lips to his, in a short gentle kiss. His world stops for a moment.

And when he regains his senses, his instincts take over and he kisses you back ferociously, it’s sloppy and uncoordinated, but neither of you seem to care.

You walk backwards onto his bed, and you push him down so he’s sitting on the edge. He looks at you like a puppy dog, and his cheeks are flushed red.

When you sit down in his lap his dick twitches in his pants.

“i- i didnt think you…,” he stutters. he doesn’t really believe what’s happening.

“well i do,” you say, while cupping his face in your hands. “a lot,”

“can i…” he needs it he needs it he needs it, “can i eat your pussy?” he mumbles it quietly.

your eyes widen. fuck, he shouldn’t have said that, it was way too fast, you were just kissing.

“oh…uh okay,”

fuck. yes.

he lifts you up from his lap, and you skriek a little from surprise. He puts you down in a chair in the corner of his bedroom.

he gets on his knees infront of you and speaks quietly,

“i…im sorry i,” he sniffles a little, he’s so overwhelmed. And you’re letting him taste you.

you lean down and give him a kiss, biting your lip slightly.

“its okay…we can talk later, if you need it i’ll give it to you okay?”

And fuck he almost cries, and he buries his face in your lap. You shush him a little, caressing his hair. Hes hugging your legs.

He lifts his head, and you start unbuttoning your pants. Slowly sliding them down your hips as they fall to the floor. You spread your legs and he whimpers. Your panties are pink this time, and theres a big wet spot on them. And he doesn’t spare a second, he dives his head into your cunt, rubbing his face in it and licking at the wet spot desperately. you moan his name softly, and he cant help but grind his hard cock against the leg of the chair. Hes pathetic but he doesnt care, he wants you to feel good, he wants to make you cum on his face. He groans into your weeping pussy as he thinks about you cumming for him.

He pulls away a little, silently begging you to remove your panties. He wants to see your pussy so bad. His pussy.

You slide down your panties to reveal your soaked cunt. Choso almost growls. He looks up at you, asking for permission to keep going. you nod, your eyes half lidded. Spoiled little princess, he thinks, and thats exactly how hes going to treat you from now on.

he leans in again, kissing your pussy and it makes a wet sound. He licks his lips and groans deeply at your taste. He starts lapping at your cunt like a dehydrated puppy. He’s making out with your pussy now, swiping his tongue all over. You can tell he’s inexperienced, but it doesn’t matter, he’s doing such a good job.

you feel so good, his tongue is too much, its all too much. You love him so much. And you cum unexpectedly, crying out his name, begging him to keep going and he whines. You thrash around and Choso keeps you steady, his strong hands grasping your hips.

After youre done he keeps licking up your cum, making sure youre cleaned.

“Choso…stop, too much,” you say softly.

He pulls away.

His face is covered in your juices, dripping all the way down his neck. And he looks so happy. He stands up, like its on instinct. He needs to hold you.

He grabs you into his arms and plop down onto the bed, with you on his chest. He squeezes you into him, kissing your hair while you slide your panties on again.

“mine,” he says softly. youre his now.

You look up at him, searching his eyes, “Choso i wanna um…you know,” you gesture to his crotch. you want to make him feel good too.

but he looks away shyly. its embarrassing and pathetic, “i um..,” he sits up with you in his lap.

He doesnt feel hard under you anymore. And then it clicks.

“oh my god did you…”

he blushes furiously and nods, “its embarrassing,” he had cum in his pants the second he put his face in your bare pussy.

“no! no…it’s really…hot,” you reason and he looks less embarrassed. He looks into your eyes then, looks at your pretty little face and he already knows he wants you to be his forever.

“do you want to be my girlfriend?” he asks nervously.

you giggle and nod eagerly, jumping on him, wrapping your arms around him and nuzzling into his neck.

hes the luckiest man in the world he thinks. And you both fall asleep, you laying on his chest.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

guys they didn’t actually fuck and i’m SORRY

now….part 4?? hey!!! HEY OKAY IM SORRY!! comment if yall want more ill do a lil short one where buddy ACTUALLY looses his virginity.

taglist:

@iqzo @multy-fandom-lover

[yanderefarm]

yandere crime lord x sadistic male reader

cw;; torture, burn wounds, blood, gore, stockholm syndrome, yandere, drugs, kidnapping, murder, smoking, cruel reader

here he is.... my most fucked up bby girl. i wrote this a little differently than the others... i had a different vibe in mind.

achilles is the eldest son of a notorious mob family, the second most powerful in charge right under his father. he makes lots of big decisions, like his recent attempts to take over a smaller gang with cruelty and force. unfortunately being a sexy big shot comes with its own little vices, achilles likes smoking for instance. nasty habit especially for someone in his position, doesn't he realize how vulnerable he is when he's taking a smoke break? so easy for you to drug.

you flick some of the cigarette ash towards the man in question. he's on his knees arms tied behind his back and duct tape over his mouth. he keeps shooting you dirty looks. it's funny.

"such a waste..."

you run a red room service on the dark web. essentially, anyone with enough money can hire you to kidnap and torture whoever they want. some people hire you to make elaborate snuff videos with their desires all written out for you, other people let you and your audience decide what kind of torture would take place over your live streams. that's where the handsome man in front of you came from, the gang he'd been destroying had bought your services.

you had already explained that to him, as well as mocked him for his cigarette habit. now you were letting one of the cigarettes burn before your stream actually started, you didn't actually smoke it choosing instead to let him watch you waste it. his scowl was hot.

his screams were hotter. the first hour in, you had him covered in cigarette burns and his stomach flinching away from your touch. the second hour in, he had multiple gashes all over his trembling body. the third hour in, he had finally started to sob and his body was covered in lovely bruises.

"sorry guys, we can't kill him yet. but that means we get a toy for a little while!" you gripped his hair and brought his tear stained face up to the camera. "say goodbye to our friend!"

and that ended your first stream with your new toy. you cleaned him up and brought him to his new room.

"you'll probably be the show tomorrow unless I get another job. eat up." you gave him a nice dinner and pulled the duct tape off his mouth.

"... when will I die?"

"dunno. good work chilles, sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

that's how it began. the guy ended up being your show about half the week for the next two months. never enough to kill him and every day you cleaned up his wounds and took good care of him. he never cursed you or complained about his place he would ask you questions and thank you for the food. it was pleasant conversation, he was a nice companion in your otherwise drab life.

it was halfway into the third month when you got news that those gang members who hired you were dead. you'd been waiting the whole time for them to pay for you to kill achilles and now it was never coming. at least you made good money from your streams in the meantime.

"you're free to go." you stood in the doorway of achilles's room.

his eyes looked at you, slowly widening as he realized what you said. "wh.. why?"

"m gonna drug you up and drop you in front of your house. you won't know where you were but I'd really appreciate if you didn't try to come after me at all. "

"why are you letting me go? did something happen?"

"you should quit smoking by the way. maybe i won't be able to get you-"

you saw something in his eyes snap. those eyes that had been practically blank the whole time even when the torture made him lose his voice from screaming. now they were dark and hazy, significantly more threatening than he'd been before. he crawled on his hands and knees to your leg and looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

"why....? am i not.. did i do it wrong? i can be a good toy."

you were caught off guard by his reaction. "uh... well uh the guys who hired me like... they died without paying me to kill you. so like... i don't have a reason to keep you?"

"how much?"

"huh??"

"how much do you need to keep me?"

you reached down and gently carded your hand through his hair. "you don't want to stay here, dumbass."

"yes I do." he nuzzled his head into your hand.

"you really want to stay here and get tortured until you die? use your brain."

his darkened eyes looked up at you with the most pathetic look. "i want to stay with you."

"fuck" he's cute? he's cute. "ok...jesus, lets do this. you go home, get reunited with your family, try to get back to normal life. and I'll contact you so if you still want to be LITERALLY tortured over living your normal life I'll bring you back. ok?"

"you'll actually come get me, right?"

"yeah. I'll get you and I won't even make you pay."

"I'll be back soon." he rubbed his head against your leg. "please get your favorite tools ready."

[occamstfs]

Diet Diaries

Hi all! Thank you so much for 500 followers! Here's a little style switch up to celebrate, got a lotta refs in this one and I quite leaned into the diary entries so I hope it's not too much! Hope y'all enjoy this stereotype reversal and as always, best! -Occam

Monday March 21st-

Andy:

I am beyond sick of Steve. Moving in together was a mistake, I don’t care how cheap the rent is, he is a narcissistic slob and I am eager to never see him again. Well no, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. Our R.A. had this idea to try and walk in each other's shoes, which I don’t know? It might not be the worst thing? My big idea was switching diets actually- honestly I’m just hoping if he ate more like me he’ll stop stinking up the dorm. I can dream at least. Literally though he just can’t go to the gym as often if he eats like me. If I'm lucky at the very least his deodorant will last longer, I cannot take another day of his b.o. seeping through the walls, ugh! Anyway, wish me luck! I’m sure this will be a breeze for me, he usually just eats junk anyway, hope he enjoys my salads~

Steve:

Andy that little fucker. He was being such a little bitch to James and now I’ve gotta eat his rabbit food for a week or lose this bet or whatever. Steve don’t lose tho. Lil twink’s gotta eat whatever I make him too and you can bet your ass I’m gonna make him match my macros if I’ve gotta starve myself like he wants. Fuck! This shit is going to absolutely tank my routine! I’ve gotta make Andy give up. I’m gonna go so hard on him he’ll have to hit weights if he doesn't want to blow up like a pig. Maybe then he’ll stop bitching any time I don’t fucking shower every time I get back home. 

Tuesday March 22nd-

Andy:

My Lord! He is trying to kill me! I don’t know how anyone could consistently eat as much as he’s telling me to. I’m so bloated from all this food.. He looks so smug every time he tells me to keep eating, I’m sure he doesn’t eat like this. He’s just trying to break me but I’m not going to let him win this easy.

Ugh, I feel so bloated my pants are so tight on my waist. I didn’t think meat sweats were a thing but man I am needing to put on deodorant like twice a day now and I’m not even exercising. I will say that now that I’m eating so much, I don’t hate the idea of going to the gym. It’s been a while since I went but I should probably at least hit up the treadmill lest I get even more of a gut- maybe I’ll see if he wants to go tomorrow. This is all just an exercise to understand each other more after all, no need to make it a stupid competition like he wants eh~

Steve:

Fuck! I am so tired of Andy’s pussy-ass diet. I had absolutely no energy at the gym today, I told all my bros that I was just gonna take it easy but fuck! I really was working my ass off and I struggled to even meet a PR I set last week. It was supposed to be a push day and I didn’t even get a chest pump! Why the fuck am I still going. I’m abso-fucking-lutely not getting gains on his fuckin’ bitch-ass salads and oats.

Eatin’ like a fucking twink and the fucker has the nerve to ask to go to the gym with me tomorrow. I’ll make sure he regrets that >:) Gonna work him like a horse so he’ll throw in the towel! After feeling how sore actually working on yourself makes ya, he might actually learn something. I’ll turn in early so I can go all out and show him what a real man looks like.

Wednesday March 23rd-

Andrew:

Man! I totally get why Steven eats so much now~ I am absolutely raring to go and get this; He said I could go to the gym with him today! He even seemed like he wanted me to go with him! I feel like I have more energy than I’ve ever had before, I might even try some weights!! I don’t know but I’m so excited! It’s like I can feel my chest and biceps begging me to go and hit some iron haha! Or whatever those “bros” say~ I hope he’s got something good planned for lunch because I fuck Sorry! I just want to show him that I can do all this dude stuff too! I’m a man right? I guess all this protein is making me feel more like a man than usual idk. Either way though I’m ready to go! Hope we have some fun!

Steven:

That bitch’s fuckin’ fru fru salads are ruining my PR’s for sure! I bet he knew that when he begged me to take him to the gym today, knew it was the only time he could show off to me was when I’m so out of it. And he didn't! Just to be clear I could still wipe the floor with  him even if I’m not at my A-game. Ugh, I do gotta hand it to the little fucker though. I KNOW he hasn’t even really set foot in a gym before but man. Beginners luck my ass, as soon as I showed him a technique he lifted like he’s been doing it his whole life! It’s like I could see his pecs and tris swelling up with each lift. Not that I was staring at the bitch or anything but he’s just I just need this fuckin’ diet thing to end so I can get back to my grind, I guess I wouldn’t hate taking him to the gym more often, would be hot to make a bitch into a bro Fuck! What am I writing, I just need to lift again.

Thursday March 24th-

Andrew: 

Bro! Weird? Whatever, I am absolutely on fire! Steven’s diet is absolutely killer! I don’t know how it’s working so well but man I couldn’t care less, I felt like a pro in there! My coaches in school would always shit on me for not trying but man! I was barely trying yesterday but I could tell from the look on Steven’s face that I was acing it! I guess I’ll have to admit to him that he is definitely onto something with his macros but man, not until he gives up haha! Man, I need to chill haha, it’s not like I’m any stronger than I was Monday but man, looking at myself in the mirror it just seems like my clothes are just fitting better. Catching on my chest rather than my stomach y’know? I’ve never noticed that there is muscle on my arms before but man the way my sleeves are kinda hugging my biceps mm. I need to chill haha! Can’t use all my energy before hitting the gym again today!

OH! Also totally weird, I’ve had to shave twice this week! Once last night and then again this morning which is so weird! I’m not complaining though, it’s not like I wouldnt look hot with a beard right? Although my face is a little itchy already, my chest too? Whatever though haha! Time to head back to the grind lol!

Steven:

God!! Andy Andrew is being such an asshole! He’s clogging the sink shaving which I know he would so be on my ass if I had done that. Wait, he did get on my ass for shaving! But it hasn’t been a problem this week, it’s like I’m not even growing stubble for some reason? Probably from not working so hard at the gym, is that how that works? Whatever it’ll be over as soon as this stupid diet thing is. We’re halfway through now. Thank God! Because that fucking twink is starting to stink up the dorm which again!! He was such a little bitch all the time to me about that! It’s like he’s literally stopped using deodorant as soon as he started needing it! He’s never exerted himself in his life and now that his pits are sweating at all he’s suddenly allergic to hygiene, ugh! I saw last night too the fucker fell asleep with his head in his pit too so it’s not like he doesn’t know it. 

It was a little surprising actually, cause I would’ve sworn he was hairless like one of those freak cats but man his pit was as thick as my pubes! Thicker maybe, uh? Man I wish I could get that image out of my head, it’s like the tuft was pushing out further each time he inhaled, man that’s kinda hot? Fuck! I swear this twink-ass diet is making me think like him too. I need to sneak to the gym later, without him. I cannot have him getting ahead even while I’m still on his chickenshit diet.

Friday March 25th-

Steven:

Ah!! That Little bitch! He was already at the gym when I got there! Ugh! It makes me want to punch a wall, or fight him. Or something I dont know! It’s just, he was lifting my body weight on the bench when he saw me, it was so ho ugh! It doesn’t matter what it was, I can’t stop thinking of that smug look on his face- what I would give to wipe it off… That absolute prick knew what he was doing. Ugh, speaking of pricks! He may as well have not been wearing shorts at all by how much his cock was showing through them.

I knew my meal prepping was fucking tight but man, I can’t believe hot its made him. It just really fucking turns me on, or no its such a turn on for chicks. Yeah. Whatever. I need this bet to end already. Clearly he’s totally obsessed with my lifestyle so he should just admit it already! Also, hate to say it, but to Andrew’s credit his diet ain't too bad either. I’d never tell him this, and it is all a little emasculating but my skin has never looked this good. I’m not even doing skincare or anything but it’s like I’ve been on a routine for years, it’s crazy! It’s still ruining my upper gains but man, my ass looks so good it's crazy..

Oh also re: facial hair, I woke up this morning and could’ve sworn I used to have chest hair but now it looks like I’ve got just a little left around my nipples and leading up from my pubes? I might go ahead and shave those too, might as well be totally smooth like a chick right haha, I wonder what Andrew would think? I need to chill haha, maybe I’ll go see if he’s still at the gym~

Andrew:

Fuuuuck dude lol. I should’ve started hitting up the gym ages ago. Don’t know what I was even wasting time on before I started doing twice-a-days? Studying I guess but I can figure that shit stuff out hm. Fuck it is so much better to be strong than a dweeb. Every set it feels like I’m just busting out new PR’s! Gonna need to buy new clothes though cause I am absolutely tearing up my crop tops, my twinky little wardrobe just isn’t cutting it anymore. Maybe Steven’d be down for a clothes swap, I’ve seen him eying up my fits all week, god knows he’ll fit them better lol. Oh haha, and speaking of him eying things up >:) You should’ve seen his little face blush when he walked into the gym this morning! He looked so pissed at me lol, but I’m not gonna grab him to come along every time I need to get some sets in right? It was pretty embarrassing for him yesterday anyway, the way I showed him up lol. I’m not just gonna sit around and watch him not lift weights when I can figure this shit out myself, thought it was supposed to be his thing though lol.

Mm, saying that though, I def didn’t hate having a little audience from his treadmill. God, his blushing face as he stared directly at my work-out chub. Fuck, it really got me going. It really helped my sets too haha. Maybe I should hit him up lol, I can tell how bad he wants me >:)

Saturday March 26th-

Stevie:

Ugh! That douche is walking around the dorm completely shirtless! Do you know what it’s like to have an oaf flexing away across the room from you 24/7! He knows what he’s doing, and thank god my dick isn’t showing through my shorts like I thought it usually does because he might literally pounce on me then-

Ugh! I didn’t even mention this morning. I literally woke up to him jacking off his morning wood! Do you know what a bitch-fit he would have thrown if I did that! He would’ve filed a police report, probably the dweeb, or. I guess I could too?? But it was just so fucking hot. I tried to pretend I was asleep, but he totally caught me. He literally smirked and made eye contact as he finished too- thank god he didn’t see my boner as he asked if I wanted to clean up his mess. He’s such an ass! 

I still have a boner now actually, it’s his B.O. driving me actually crazy! It’s like I can’t think near him if he’s going to stink this bad god.. Oh, he’s doing pullups on the door frame fuck. He’s supposed to be hairless but I see sweat dripping from his pits god I can't. God with each pull up his chest looks even more powerful. His cock is bobbing up and down in his pants and I can not look away. Fuck it’s getting even bigger. I’m supposed to be the strong one right? It’s not, fuck. This isn’t right. He just so fucking, god that body, I need him-

And Drew:

Heh. I knew that fucking twink couldn’t resist me. Every little thing I do wraps him even tighter around my finger. Every flex and smirk turns him on even more I bet he can’t even think straight the way his little dick is losing it in his briefs- I took all his jocks since I’m sure he would need them anymore. Bet the little bitch didn’t even remember they were his.  

Might as well have been drooling when he saw me jacking my cock this morning lol, surprised he didn’t take me up on the offer to lick up the mess. I know he wanted to lol. He’ll get the chance soon enough though >:) God it’s a two-way street though. That fucking twink is so fuckable now, thank god he doesn’t need to shave anymore, don’t want his peachfuzz scratching my cock cause god that mouth is so fuckable now.. To say nothing of his fucking juicy ass, god! I’ve been working out in the room all morning waiting for him to give in and ask me to fuck him, idk if I can hold it in much longer. I might need to jack it again, my balls are bluer than I ever thought they could be, fuck. It’s like they're sore. Ugh I feel them getting heavier, heh, that little fucker cant resist though. God I feel precum starting to pool in my jock. If I put my pit within a foot of his face I give him five before he can’t help but shove his face in. I need to fuck him, but as if I’m going to let him see how desperate I am. Stevie that little fucker. He’ll be riding my cock any second now.

Sunday March 27th-

Stevie:

Fuck <3 !! He finally fucked me!! God, it was like nothing I’ve experienced before~ His cock was like a beer can and goddd the scratch of his beard as we were making out.. Hehe if I keep thinking about him I might just cum again right now! He can fully toss my body like a ragdoll and I’d thank him ugh! He’s just so hot, and to think he wants to fuck me!! Ah~ I’ll need to keep myself pretty so he won’t get tired of me hehe! Not that it’ll be a problem, I just need to keep on his diet, God who knew it would be this good! I don’t even remember whatever problems we had before all this and I can’t imagine anything better than getting fucked by him <3 Ah! He he~ He’s staring at my ass right now so I guess it’s time for another round! Can’t thank our R.A. enough for this idea, well he he I’ve got an idea for how to thank him, oh! Drew’s ripped off his jock! Wish me luck he he~

Drew:

My little bitch is so tight, fuck. I’m surprised he can even take my cock but god can he ride it. Gonna have a hard time taking a break from fucking him to even hit the gym. Need to make sure the twink keeps up the diet tho or we’ll have an issue. Be sure to make him come to the gym whenever I do, if not to tighten up then to watch me heh. Won’t hate fucking him in the locker room too. Mm, God his fucking tiny body makes me feel so powerful. And I fucking am. God my bis are the size of his thick thighs, fuck his ass. My cock is straining my jock just thinking about it. His tiny waist ugh, I need my sweaty body over him now. Not like he’ll mind, the horny fucker. Mmm hope he’s ready to take my cock, bet his mouth is already watering heh. Pop my pecs at him and he’ll struggle not to cum on the spot, he better keep it together until I let him though. Can’t be having my bitch blow his load that fast. Thank fuck he’s chilled out finally, though I guess my cock’ll work wonders on anyone >:) speaking of it’s about that time again. Hope he’s ready for some more action, hate to have to find another hole.

[andreawritesit]

Can i maybe ask for a cregan stark x targaryen reader where she takes cregan for his first ever dragon ride? i like your writting very much 🤍

Fandom: House of the Dragon

Pairing: Cregan Stark x Targaryen Reader

Synopsis: Dragon riding is as easy as breathing for you but this time you have a special passenger with you.

Word Count: 1,924

"Can we go to the wall, Lord Stark?" Jacaerys' words made your jaw drop to the floor. Has he lost his mind?! The Wall? Why?!

Cregan glanced at the young prince and took a sip of his ale. "Are you sure, my Prince? It is much colder there." Jacaerys nodded enthusiastically. "I am quite sure. I have come this far. I want to see the Wall."

"Very well then", Cregan got up and dusted his clothes. Your brother followed suit. You stayed sitting, eating your food in peace. Jace had surely lost his mind. You were already freezing to death, you would surely die at the Wall.

"When can we go?" Jace's question made you want to punch him. Idiot. You were hoping Cregan would say 'after the war' or 'never' but what came out of his mouth infuriated you even more.

"Today, if you're truly ready for it." You glared at the Northern Lord. They have both lost their minds! You lightly pulled Jacaerys' hand but he was too busy agreeing with Lord Stark to go to the damned Wall that very day. "What of you, my Princess? Will you accompany us?" Your head whipped towards Cregan and you were about to say something rude to him when Jace answered for you. "Of course she is. I'm not leaving her alone here." You truly wanted to punch him square in his face at that. First, he proposes to go to the Wall and then treats you like a little child! The audacity!

"No thank you, my Lord. I'm not sure I'll be able to withstand the cold there. I'd rather stay here and explore Winterfell. I've barely seen anything here", you answered rather harshly. Cregan's eyebrow shot up at your tone but once again your brother interrupted. "You're coming with us. Imagine it, we'll be able to see the mighty Wall and even see what lies beyond. Are you really not intrigued about all that?"

"Yes, I am. But not enough to freeze myself to death for it."

"Don't be dramatic! I'm about as Northerner as you. We'll be fine. And Lord Stark will be with us. It will be ok."

Cregan glanced between us and sighed loudly. "You shouldn't force her, my Prince. If she doesn't wish to come with us, then let her stay here." You nodded to him in gratitude. Jace frowned at his words and decided to pull the good old trick out of his sleeves. "Alright dear sister, if you wish to stay here, do that. I'll go with Lord Stark to the place where Queen Alyssane and her dragon once stood/ How amazing would that be!"

You squinted your eyes at him. You knew your brother very well and knew what he was doing. He was triggering the fear of missing out within you. But you were determined to not let it affect you. "Do that. I'm sure it will be fun in the hellish cold up there." Jace rolled his eyes at you and turned toward Cregan, "How do we travel to the Wall?"

"By horseback."

"But it will take long, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, my Prince, it will."

"Then can I not just travel there on Vermax?"

Cregan shook his head. "I would advise against that. Dragons do not like the cold atop the Wall." Your ears perked up at the mention of Vermax. You hadn't seen your own dragon for a week now. You were dying to go dragon back riding again. Walking up to your brother, you linked your arm through his. "My brother has proposed a wonderful idea, Lord Stark. Going there on dragonback will be quicker and easier than horseback."

"Perhaps but you're forgetting one important thing, my Princess. I do not own a dragon. It will take me days to reach there."

"Not if you come with me on my dragon." You responded back without thinking and now both men were staring at you. Cregan let out a nervous laugh. "You jest, Princess. I couldn't possibly ride on your dragon with you..."

You knew you couldn't go back on your words now. Cursing yourself inwardly, you decided to push the idea forward. "Why not? My dragon is much bigger than Jace's and it can carry us both quite easily."

"Yes, but I'm not of Valyrian descent. Won't the dragon object to it?"

Jacaerys chuckled next to you and you elbowed him to make him stop. Cregan's fear was justified. "Do not worry, my Lord. I won't let you fall."

His eyes locked with yours and finding reassurance within your eyes, he nodded in agreement. "Great! Off to the Wall then!" Jace said quite loudly.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The snow had started to fall lightly, dusting Winterfell in a fresh blanket of white. You stood in the courtyard, adjusting the straps on the saddle of your dragon, whose sleek greyish-violet scales shimmered like polished gemstones. Cregan approached, his expression a mix of excitement and trepidation. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, eyes wide as he took in the massive creature before him. You turned to him, a reassuring smile on your lips. "Absolutely," you said. "My dragon is gentle, and I promise you'll be safe with me."

Despite your reassurance, he stood quite far from your dragon. You smiled at his expression, one of awe and caution mixed together. You walked to him and held his hand. "Do not worry. He looks scary but he's much gentler than other dragons. Trust me." He looked at you and then at your dragon and nodded. "Alright then. Let's do this."

You slowly led him to the majestic beast. Walking closer, you gently stroked your dragon's neck and spoke softly, "Hey there my boy, this is my friend, Lord Cregan Stark. I want you to be nice to him, hmm?" Your dragon lowered his neck and gently nudged you to indicate his agreement. You turned toward Cregan and smiled widely at him. "See? He said he won't hurt you. You can ride with me."

With practiced ease, you mounted your dragon, extending a hand to help Cregan up behind you. The Lord of Winterfell hesitated for a moment before grasping your hand, pulling himself up with surprising agility. He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding on tightly.

"Ready?" you asked, looking over your shoulder at him.

"As I'll ever be," Cregan replied, his voice steady but his grip firm.

With a command in High Valyrian, you urged your dragon to spread his massive wings. The dragon let out a powerful roar, and with a mighty leap, you were airborne. The ground fell away beneath you, and Winterfell became a distant speck as you soared higher into the sky.

The sensation of takeoff was exhilarating. You felt the rush of wind against your face, the powerful beats of your dragon's wings creating a steady rhythm beneath you. Cregan's initial tension gradually eased as he adjusted to the sensation of flight. You felt his grip relax slightly, and you glanced back to see him looking around in awe. Your lips lifted up in a smile seeing the almost childlike wonder on his face.

"This is incredible," Cregan breathed, his eyes wide with wonder. "I've never seen the North like this."

You could barely hear him up there. But you understood how he felt. You had felt exactly like that on your first flight, except that your flight was filled with your screams and he was sitting silently behind you.

As your dragon climbed higher, the landscape below transformed into a breathtaking tapestry of white and green. The sprawling forests looked like intricate lacework, the icy rivers glinting like silver ribbons in the sunlight. The mountains stood tall and imposing, their snow-capped peaks piercing the sky. The vastness of the North stretched out below you, a testament to the rugged beauty of Cregan's homeland.

"The North is very beautiful', you spoke softly. Cregan didn't hear you but he held you a little tighter again. You could feel his warmth even through the thousands of layers of clothes you both were wearing. He rested his head on your shoulder and a shiver ran down your spine.

Cregan's voice came out in a whisper, "I can see why you love this so much. It's… freeing." You didn't reply but you gently leaned your head on top of his. You had flown on your dragon many times but no experience was like this one. You wanted to believe it was because the North was much different from where you usually flew but a part of you knew, it wasn't the place, it was the company.

After a little while you shook Cregan a little and he looked up at you. "What is it, my Princess?"

"You were supposed to lead us to the Wall, my Lord. I think we have reached an entirely different place..."

Cregan looked down and indeed, you were nowhere near the Wall. You were flying over a herd of animals scattering in awe at the sight of the dragon overhead. He looked at you and you both burst out into laughter. "If I have lost the way even with you, I cannot begin to imagine where Jace is right now..."

Cregan stopped laughing and shook his head. "The Prince is smarter than this. I'm sure he'll have reached the Wall by now."

"Perhaps. But what do we do now? Do we go straight the Wall or..."

"As much as I'm enjoying this, it would be better if we land for some time. Your dragon must be tired as well." You nodded and guided your dragon to a gentle descent, landing on a snow-covered plateau that offered a panoramic view of the landscape. You dismounted first, turning to help Cregan down. The wind was brisk but invigorating, carrying with it the crisp scent of pine and the distant sound of a roaring river. "Thank the Gods we're still in the North. It shouldn't take long to reach the Wall after a little rest', Cregan commented after looking around.

"So, how was your very first dragon ride?" you asked, a hint of curiosity in your voice.

Cregan looked at you, a broad smile spreading across his face. "Unbelievable," he said. "I never imagined anything like it. Thank you for this."

"See? You were being afraid for no reason at all", you quipped playfully. He picked up a little snow in his hands and grinned at you. "I'll show you true fear", he said as he threw the snow at you. You dodged it barely in time. "So this is how we're doing it? Alright then. Let me show you how we do things in the South." You picked up a handful of snow but before you could throw it, he had already thrown another snowball at you which hit your right shoulder. Your eyes widened and Cregan stood opposite you, laughing loudly. You threw your own snowball at him and the fight continued for some time until you both collapsed of exhaustion.

For a moment, you both sat there, the cold wind whipping around you, your breaths visible in the crisp air. Then, with a gentle smile, Cregan got up and held out his hand for you.

"I suppose we should go now, my Princess. Your brother must be worried."

You took his hand and let him drag you up. "You're right. Are you ready for your second experience atop a dragon?"

"More than you know."

With a confident smile, you guided your dragon into the air once more, heading toward the Wall.

[sukunas-wife]

Ryoumen “i want a second son” Sukuna except he gets a feral little princess who matches his energy and is not above taking big bites of dad and only yuuji-nii can control her sksks

Eegehehe- warning- I suck at writing for girls actually😭 I’ve never had a younger sister or niece 🥹 my female cousins are literally non existent also,

The doctor became nervous after your newborn started crying. The maids made quick work of taking care of everything and handing you your child already bundled up. Sukuna was just as confused before he took his child from you, carefully unfolding the blanket.

The room was silent, everyone turning to Sukuna, for a brief second your aching muscles were numb that you didn’t feel after birth. You were nervous, what happened, why didn’t anyone say anything? Sukuna held the child with two large hands supporting it, using his other two hands to carefully pull back the blanket. He didn’t lift his head, but you watched his mouth gape slightly like he wanted to say something. He turned his head slightly, settling on just looking at you through the corner of his eyes. It was a low rasp “she’s a girl,” he cleared his throat wrapping her back up. Without a doubt it was his, his pink hair, she had even taken to his red eyes like Yuji had. His fixed stare didn’t show it but he was concerned for her, even if he had wanted a second son, “Lord Sukuna we co-No.” he turned to Uraume, “It’s my child regardless if it’s a boy or not. She stays here.” He leaned back, handing you your daughter.

After everyone had cleared the room you were breastfeeding your child. Sukuna sat with arms crossed, eyes closed and his head resting back against the wall. You were staring down at your little girl and you realised, “You didn’t want a daughter because it’s going to force you to settle down.” You were grinning like a fool when you turned to look at Sukuna, he grunted not opening an eye or looking at you. “I’d be a fool to let anything happen to my daughter.”

You hummed, “If she’s anything like you I’m sure she can handle her own like Yuji when she’s older.” Sukuna opened an eye looking at you, “Anya..” you turned to look at him. “Her name is Anya.” There was no room to argue with him on that. He stood up, “I’ll bring Yuji.”

He left the room before you mocked him “oouu I’m Sukuna I’m gonna protect my daughter I’m a big bad tough guy.” You scoffed to yourself, “He doesn���t realise he’ll never hurt another child again Anya.” Leaning down you kissed her little head, and she barely opened her eyes.

—————

“hehehe” Sukuna was sitting on his throne head resting on his fist, eyes closed. You left a while ago to do something he already forgot about. Yuji wanted to go with you but Anya held him back, Anyways was an anomaly. She had no cursed energy or presence. Yet she still had the power to read minds, it was something that baffled Sukuna.

He learned she had that power at the worst time, when you were all gathered eating breakfast. When he thought about getting a collar. Anya just jumped excited “are we getting a dog like the one’s old man sells in town?!” Everyone looked concerned at Anya and she pointed at your husband with a bright smile, “Papa was thinking about buying a collar!” You looked at Sukuna “When did you- Right now! He was thinking about looking for a collar and a really good one so it doesn’t slip up or come loose.” It was the heat on your cheeks when you realised what collar he meant, but you were more concerned when you thought he was actually saying these things out loud in front of Anya.

Sukuna was looking away trying to clear his throat, ‘What the hell is this brat on about? I didn't say that shit out loud… did I?’

“OOOO PAPA SAID A BAD WORD!” Anya covered her mouth with her hands and she turned to you, your mind was drawing a blank ‘…what..what’s going on…”

Yuji was spaced out shovelling food into his face before he looked over, “Anya sit down don’t stand on the chair.” She listened to his not so demanding verse and sat down, “okay Yuji-nii.” She plopped down in her chair before perking up, “Are we getting a dog?”

Sukuna cleared his throat again looked right at her, if his hunch was right, ‘No, we’re not bringing some mangy mutt into the house’

Anya deflated and rested her chin on the table pouting, “why not?” ‘Because I said so.’ “Then why’d you say?” ‘Because I’m the owner of this house I decide what goes and comes.’ Anya sighed, getting teary eyed, trying her best to plead silently the way Yuji had taught her. Yuji snickered and he turned to you, you were sitting down whispering and asking Yuji if he knew what was going on. He explained to you that he figured out Anya could read minds not too long ago when she kept beating him in stone, parchment, shears, (please I’m sorry😭), hide and seek, and their little treasure hunting games. What he didn’t tell you was he also used her to out scam the guy who shuffles a gold token and bets money you’ll never find it.

It explained to you why Sukuna was just giving her looks and she was vocally responding.. it left you to worry how many of your thoughts she had actually heard. 😭

On a side note- here are some cannon events in the process of Anya growing up 😭😭

As a baby she was menace 🥺 she liked biting/trying to chew her dads fingers when he’d poke her cheeks. Not a cute nibble either, she’d dive in predicting the “If you eat his finger you’ll get stronger”

When she took hold of his finger the first time he was in love. That was his daughter and she meant the world to him. Then she dug her nails hard into his skin making him wince and immediately clip her nails. But when you don’t clip her nails because you're scared you’ll hurt her he always ends up with a scratched chest and hands when she’d try to take hold of something. She’s the reason he started wearing shirts even if they were uncomfortable on his massive arms 😔

Was kinda glad she didn’t sleep in the bed with both of you. She loved sleeping on his chest and Sukuna did also. But only allowed it when he could put those baby gloves on her.

After hitting age one she loved messing with Yuji and Sukuna while they were sleeping. You continuously went after her picking her up with your hand sunder her arms. She’s let out her baby screams and wiggle her body you could hear your husband’s attitude, “unhand me mother! I crave chaos! Ahahahsgsghshss!”

The older she got the more both of you learned the way Yuji admired his dad but was a total mama’s boy? It was almost the same case. Except she admired her dad.. and was a daddy girl. Yes she loved you and thought the world of you, but daddy’s so cool because he has so many cool powers! 🥺

It didn’t matter if she was sleeping in your arms, she was laughing and having the best time with you. If she even felt or heard the slightest sound, meaning Ryomen was in the room, she would scream and cry for him to pick her and take her with him. The same case as Baby Yu, you were jealous Ryo got all the attention and baby love even if they were attached to your chest most of the time.

Speaking of jealous, Yuji was the most jealous little 10 year old boy 🥹 “MY DADDY!” He’d carry Anya back to you so he could sit in HIS dads lap. Sukuna found it amusing and more often than not bullied Yuji. Which actually led to your funny little schedule where when Anya was briefly awake Yuji would be glued to your side. When Anya was asleep Yuji would run and stick to his dads side.

Sukuna has a permanent dent in his side boob where 2yo old Anya crawled over to him on your bed and then latched on, i don’t mean milk- i mean she saw a mound of flesh and went ‘nom’ He grunted and it took everything in him to not swat her instantly. He sat up after pulling her away. She was dangling by her feet clapping her hands and laughing, Sukuna was pressing his hand to his chest helping himself and cursing because no way he really let this brat catch him off guard and mess him up 😭

Which is also when it hits him, she has no presence because she has no cursed energy. He was disappointed but relieved she’d never have a reason to be caught in trouble 🥹

Here’s a little montage of moments 🥹

An invisible child means invisible crimes. Sure, Ryomen could actively tell where she was. But it’s his child he could let his guard down and close his eyes to think about the things he had to do. Breathing became slower the more he started to relax almost to napping completely.

1…2…3…4… “YUJIII NIII I GOT THE THING”

Kamutoke… she took the Kamutoke

Sukuna was going to get up and chase after her but she tripped and face planted into the shiny floors Sukuna had to pick her up and wipe off her tears and snot while telling Uraume to put up his tool because there was no doubt in his mind Yuji or Anya would kill the other with it by mistake

Anya loves her parents, but when Sukuna is thinking Sinister thoughts she runs to Yuji.

Ex. The four of you went out into the city, Anya was riding on her dad’s shoulders the way Yuji used to. She was patting away on his head when she heard the thought, “I should kill that man, I’ll start by slowly gutting him a- wwaahhhhh” followed by squirming and Anya basically jumping over knocking down Yuji. When you asked her what was wrong she said “…nothing… papa is kinda scary.”

Yuji had to piggy back her the rest of the day when she didn’t feel like walking but she sang her cute little “Family ooting” song

This is both Yuji and Anya when daddy’s home ,

(I’m sorry I’m so bad at writing for girls 😭 I don’t have a niece to spoil or interact with, I’ll have to steal my friend and her little sister next time and play with her 🥹 I’ll do better for next one i promise 😤)

Tag: @sad-darksoul @cyder-puff @satorisgirl @bontensbabygirl @lupita97lm @queen-luna-007 @sakuxxi @mercymccann @simpforyoubitch @certainduckanchor @domainofmarie @najiiix @bakugou-katsukis-wife @amitiel-truth @souyasplushie @mylovelessnightmare @dolliira @ilovemybabies378

[nqify]

ok, then here we go!

how about jake sully during heat? and maybe he not only can't keep his hands off of you, but when he's not touching you he can't help but jerk off right in front of you.

maybe he's just so unbearably horny that he starts to hump his pillows, the grass, your leg, his hands, or even touch himself during important meeting and has to be excused.

like he's just a needy soft!dom who is feverishly grinding on everything or tugging his thick cock in thoughts of you; poor bby can't even stop it 🥺🤭

had to make my first Jake sully fic with ur request ofc!!! AHHH!! this is so good!!!

heat. — jake sully ☆

Jake sully is the definition of needy!soft dom!! especially during heat!! this MF will find any excuse just to fuck you, like omg!! it’s a full moon we must fuck, or he made food without burning himself we must fuck!! he’s just so needy!!

so when his heat rolls around, omg get ready to be fucked and touch every single day. oh this fucker can not keep his hands off you.

lets just say, Jake starts to feel his heat coming on in an important meeting. during this meeting the only thing he could focus on was you, he’d be eye fucking you from across the room!!

his gaze was dark and lustful, his eyes were hooded and covered with little strings of hair. girl u are fucked!! you’d noticed, his posture straighten up, his arms all big and strong and his cock aching for you!! he will try everything and anything to get out of there. “baby, i need you now”

and now ur back is arched, pillow underneath you while jakes hands were gripping ur hips!! “f-fuck, pretty, this pussy f-feels so good!!”

this man would 100% get pussy drunk while he’s on heat. he’d be eating your pussy, tongue swirling around your clit while his fingers were spreading you out, “gimme more baby, want more of ur pussy, fuck so pretty for me” he loves u omg!! “such a pretty pussy baby, just for me right?? only me?? for daddy mm??” you’d be nodding, “wanna hear u say it, say this pretty pussy is mine, cmon, needa hear it” pussy is aching!!!

sometimes you’d be away from him, hunting for food or travelling with friends. you’d come home to this fucker humping the pillow, he’d be grinding, head thrown back while whines escaped his throat. “j-Jake??” this MF does not stop, he just looks at you and smirks, “aaahh, baby, daddy needs some help, you can help him right?? cmon be a good girl for me”

or whenever your away too long and you guys finally get into it, this fucker is so needy!! he’d be jerking off on top of you, “f-fuck needa cum, needa cum shit” but omg he was so hot. stroking his cock up and down to the sight of you?? pussy WET!!! “look at you baby, u want my cum?? u want daddy’s cum to make a mess of ur pussy?? yeah??”

now when he’s in heat bf will only do doggy style and missionary. he needs to have control over you when he’s in heat, or he’ll explode. this dude will have ur back arched and ur legs spread wide, gripping into ur tail for deeper thrusts.

“mmm, fuck pretty, look at this pussy, u need my cock don’t you?? u want daddy’s big cock to fill u up huh?” ur whining like PLS HELLO?? in doggy style this fucker is going deep!! like reaching every inch of u. bro is def hitting ur cervix. “yeah baby?? that feel good?? u like when daddy touches ur little special spot huh?”

now for missionary, oh boy. his veiny hand would be gripping your neck while the other was holding your waist. he’s pounding into you with everything that he’s got, “mmmm, my pretty girl likes this right?? fuck ur such a dirty slut for liking this” oh BOY!! “j-Jake!! need ur cum!!, pls fill me up daddy”

HELLO!! Breeding kink while on heat?? YEPYEP!! “yeah baby?? u want daddy’s cum? u want him to make u all full and stuffed right? yeah I can do that baby, just keep being a good girl for me” and oh my god HIS LOAD is THICK AND HEAVY!!! you could feel it in you and lord DO U LOVE IT!! and when he would see it pour out, “oh no baby, i gotta keep it in so u can have my babies!!” he’d just fuck it into you.

this dude has to be messy, spit and cum everywhere!!! you want a kiss? messy asf. he’s eating you out? messy asf. fucking ur pussy, MESSY ASF!! DEF has a spit kink!!!!!!

“cmon baby, open ur mouth for me, yeah that’s it, good girl” and BOOM SPIT!! cuz he’s on heat he feels some kind of control making you a mess

your drooling EVERYWHERE!!! and he’d make fun of u!!! “awe look at you, such a fucking whore and can’t keep herself clean can she?? she likes when daddy makes her all messy and dumb doesn’t she mm??” ur nodding bc DUH?? “uh uh babygirl, say it, say ur my dumb little slut” GIRL!!!!! “I-I’m ur dumb little s-slut!!” HSHFNJS

and ofc!!! when u guys are done he’d still keep his cock in you!! he loves having you so close, cock warming is def his fav thing to do. “baby, u still feel so warm” and omg “I love this pussy so so much”

[love-of-the-red-star]

That time I got reincarnated as an Aeon

(Series)

Chapter three: A shitshow and a happy ending (alternatively, Delia goes out and buys milk)

Chapter warnings: Attempted genocide, there’s murder, and heavy implications of violent events.

You hoped your skittishness had gotten the message through. If not, the Avgin were fucked big time.

And they were.

You had made a mistake, and it cost you the life of a young boy’s mother.

It was a miscalculation on your part, because how could you not have realized that Kakavasha’s mother was alive in the date you assumed she wouldn’t be?

You shouldn’t have let her go out there to get food as you entertained her children.

It was too late to regret things, you’d have to think now.

It was rather awkward to tell stories of hope to the children who knew another one of their people had just gotten murdered, but you tried anyways, to give them hope that they can be free from living a life they didn’t deserve. Looking at their innocent little faces made you want to cry almost— you refrained from doing so.

Hundred of hours passed by, and all it’s for is a dreaded countdown to a festival and a boy’s birthday.

You had heard a discussion outside, something about the IPC again. You scowled, snorting as you knew those cowards wouldn’t do jack shit for the Avgins.

Because why would they? Your feelings towards them continued to grow sour, and you had half the mind to ask Qlipoth if you could eat some of their people— surely, by the amount of planets that corporation have consumed they wouldn’t mind losing a few of their own.

The violent thoughts were shoved to the back burner as you instead focused on the upcoming days. There’s the telltale sign of rain, the heavy smell of it lingering in the air as you knew something bad was going to happen.

“Good lord help me.”

You sighed, big and heavy as you prepared yourself for the shitshow about to unfold.

—————————

And you were right.

Thankfully you’ve managed to warn enough people that they’d run before the Katicans got to them. If you had been a human now, this experience would possibly traumatize you forever.

This event was no joke and you were close to just taking out your disguise but realized it’d be dangerous for everyone if you outed yourself. So you opted for gathering enough people in your group— some of them held into the hope of the call for help they made to the IPC, but you resorted to shouting that the IPC won’t be coming for them.

The others, those that weren’t in your group, had made it a point to scatter out into their own groups as well.

It had been particularly messy, but no one really fully objected to you once they came to the realization that there was no help coming for them at all. If you had been human, your head would have been utterly overwhelmed.

But you were an Aeon, and you were hell bent on saving at least a portion of these people if you couldn’t make do for all of them.

It would have been easier if your true physical form could interact without causing accidental harm or even death, but you have to settle for your projection, and hopefully it would be enough.

Your hope came in the form of the same rangers you’ve painstakingly summoned for weeks on end, Kakavasha being in the arms of Boothill himself. They made it just in time.

Things were taking a turn for the better.

There were casualties and quite plenty of them, but not in the numbers you remembered a lifetime ago.

There were more survivors than there were people killed, and while you knew their life wouldn’t be very easy as you wished it would be, they were alive.

Kakavasha isn’t alone anymore with his sister being alive.

It had taken some time for the news to cause an uproar; the discrimination wouldn’t be easy to erase still, but the Avgin were at least free.

Kakavasha woke up to a new dawn of the day and found a small piece of aventurine in his fingers. There were small, wooden beads strung together that accompanied it and he squinted his eyes to read what was intricately carved on them.

There, it simply said “Happy birthday”.

You were there when he had read it, and even if you wanted to stay, you had other things to do.

You pressed a kiss to his forehead, and wished him a long, happy life.

“Why does it feel like you’re saying goodbye?” He asked, his grip on the beads tightening as his brows furrowed in confusion.

“I….” You hesitantly began. “I have some things to do.” You said carefully. “You remember Vertin, right?”

“Of course!” He nodded rapidly. “Wait… will you.. be going out there on a journey like her too?”

“Yes.”

“Can I come with you then?”

“No, you can’t.”

“But why?”

“It’s dangerous to stick around me.” You told him. “You don’t want to be out there yet, you’re not ready.”

“…..” Kakavasha’s lips trembled. “You’ll come back, right? The katicans wouldn’t be around to kill us anymore… you’re safe like me! Y-you don’t have to leave.”

“I know, but don’t let your guard down okay?” You ruffled his hair. “We’re safe, but we never know when this’ll last.”

“So you’re really leaving?” Kakavasha sulked, his little body leaning on to you as if a plea for you to stay. “Who’s going to tell me stories? Who’s going to play games with me and lose all over again?”

You flicked him in the forehead for his last words. “Hey, just because I constantly lose to you doesn’t mean you can rub it all over me.” You teasingly scolded him, the young boy only laughed.

“Delia.” He called out to you, shifting so he could properly see you.

“Yes?”

“Sister said you were raised by the katicans.” He said. “At least she said you were, I don’t believe it though. You look like me, and you’re nice.”

“Well, don’t let looks fool you.” You pinched his cheek affectionately and he let out a little giggle. “Oh yeah, also you know that gentleman with sharp teeth who carried you yesterday?”

“Mr. Boothill? Yeah I do, he speaks funny though.” You were tempted to tell this boy the poor cyborg just worked on a censor. “He said something about a “muddle fudger who scared everyone in my group shirtless”….. I think he was trying to say mother fucke—“ you coughed loudly as you covered his mouth.

“Where did you learn that word?” You asked, Kakavasha blinked as you removed your hand from his mouth, before looking at you straight in the eye with a certainty only a child would have.

“From you.”

You sat there and stared at him awkwardly. “Oh.” You let out not so gracefully.

He must have listened whenever you cursed under your breath.

“Don’t say any of those curse words until you’re at least as old as your sister, okay? If you want to really curse out someone, then follow after Boothill’s example until you’re old enough, got it?”

“Got it.”

“Good, now go to your sister, she has something for you.” He did as you said, however, before leaving the little tent, he looked back at you.

“You’ll come back, right?”

“I will.”

And you never did.

———————————

While dipping like a cheating father on Christmas Eve was an asshole move, you knew some things were better off without you. You stirred Aventurine from a life he will never know, and for that you gave yourself a pat on the back all the while looking at the unfortunate rangers you’ve accidentally terrorized.

You’d have to apologize to them in some way, you thought to yourself as you saw the ever fading eye bags and the look of familiar terror in their eyes.

You couldn’t offer these guys therapy, but you could offer them bounty money.

You pointedly ignore the spooked look on their faces as the intercom on them kept repeating the words “bounty complete” as several notifications popped out of their phones.

Money was flooding into their account. Where that’s coming from? Best you don’t think of it much.

“I have a feeling it’s the shirtbag who sent us the SOS message that got us this.” Boothill grumbled. “Well I’ll be darned I guess. At least it was smart enough to get us to gather around that planet to stop some stupid shirt from going too far.”

“You think it could be a follower of Lan too?” One of the rangers asked.

“Nah, they’d fire a shot if they were. That one straight up went for your mental health— but I can forgive that I think, we managed to protect folks and answer their cry for help.” One of them answered.

And with that, you were satisfied, turning your gaze away from them to come back to the express.

——————————

“Bruh.” You grimaced as you were subjected to the weirdest taste of coffee you’ve ever had in your entire life. It tasted like desolation brewed into an innocent little coffee cup.

Welt paid no attention to your suffering as you entertained Himeko’s whims, choosing to read a book instead with the broadcast as white noise.

One of Himeko’s coffees did taste good, but the majority of them tasted like they came out of Satan’s liver.

“Oh, there’s something new in the map.” Himeko said all of a sudden. “An unclaimed territory…” She glanced at you, and you innocently ignored her pointed stare as the broadcast rang through the parlor.

Hearing the words of the news and looking at the new planet— specifically Sigonia IV registered in the map of the star rail, she stared at you in semi disbelief.

“So that’s where you’ve been.” She whispered, eyes wide in surprise.

“The place didn’t have an anchor, so I couldn’t take you guys for an adventure with me.” Not that it was optimal for you to be taking them there anyway, it was better for the galaxy rangers to take over that role instead of the express.

Not because you didn’t trust the two people here, but because you simply lacked manpower.

“Besides, it wasn’t even fun.” You said. “There’s no weird monsters that looked like they came out of god’s recycling bin in there. There were just… people.” You all left it at that.

It had taken you moments to speak again.

“Anyways, where to next?”

———————————

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV (HERE), Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII….

Jesus Christ this took a bit to cook. The jokes will properly return since the more serious end of the chapters is finished (there are going to be serious moments in the future).

I am on a roll and taking advantage of the creative juices before they run the fuck out.

[writtenbymoonflower]

Okay I feel comfy requesting now!! Sorry when it’s new I just get anxious. Anyways can I request something small with Remus(he is my comfort character if you could tell) and the reader where she has a friend who blames everything on her weight(maybe she’s alittle chubby). Like her red face she’s had as long as she can remember? Well it’s because you’re overweight. Your stomachs hurting? It’s probably all that sugar you ate like I could never eat all that sugar. Like it’s constant comments like that and she just let it goes but maybe he hears at sticks up for her… if you couldn’t tell it’s totally self indulgent because I feel like shit rn 😅 anyways if not it’s a okay I will still love you with my whole heart 💕 thank you for even reading it 💕💕

Hi baby! Sorry this took so long, I hope this is okay! He less sticks up to the friend and more to reader. remus lupin x fem!reader (implied plus size!reader, but it's easy to picture any body type i think)

cw: fatphobia, judgment over food choices, insecurity, swearing

1.1k words

You kept glancing at the clock, wondering if an appropriate amount of time had passed for you to get off the phone. It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy talking to your friend - you honestly did - but Remus had just gotten home from work and (no offense to all of your other loved ones), you would much rather spend your evenings with Remus. It didn’t help that he was lounging on your shared bed with a book in one hand and a cigarette in the other, looking too pretty for his own good.  

“So yeah, that was pretty fucking annoying.” Your friends bitter laughter came through your phone that was flat on your desk as you fiddled with random items on your shelf. 

“Sounds like it.” You saw the break in conversation as a chance to leave. “My stomach hurts.” It wasn't a complete lie. You were getting your period soon, and you had been cramping all day. Not enough to lie in bed, but enough to be a constant distraction.

“Ha! I bet. You’re always eating all that crap.” She scoffed. Your face burned shamefully. You clumsily picked up your phone, rushing to take her off speaker. Before you could manage, she spoke again. “Maybe you’ll finally stop shoveling shit into your body. Lord knows your waistline isn’t reason enough.” You heard Remus’ book hit the nightstand, loud enough to make you wince. You held the phone to your ear and laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, lord knows…” You trailed off. 

“You know I’m not trying to be mean, right?” Like a light switch, her voice took on a sickly sweet tone. “I’m just blunt, you know me. But seriously, I just say these things because I’m your friend.”

“Yeah, I know.” Your voice was quiet, thick with the lump in your throat. 

“C’mon, don’t be like that.” She laughed again. “I’ll catch you later, okay? I hope you feel better soon.”

“Hopefully.” You smiled tight-lipped. “Talk to you later.” You didn’t wait for her to respond before you hung up, setting your phone down on the desk. You looked up into the mirror on the wall, seeing Remus looking at you severely. You blinked hard, shaking your head before looking down at the desk and pretending to organize something. 

“How was work?” You asked, fake chipper. 

“Come here.” He ignored your question, patting the bed beside him. He snuffed his cigarette out, only half smoked, and covered the ash tray with a lid.

You inhaled deep and stood up, shamefacedly walking over to him. He reached for you the moment you were at arms-length, tugging you to sit when you didn’t of your own accord. He sighed and you grimaced, face burning again. You thought you could cry. 

“Are you gonna look at me, dovey?” He sounded painfully gentle. You forced yourself to meet his eyes, a fake smile 

“How was your day?” You tried again, hoping it would stick this time. 

“Don’t do that.” He shifted to sit more upright, grabbing your hand in both of his. You tried to look clueless, but it clearly wasn't sticking. He sighed again. “Look, okay. I’m not going to jump around this conversation.” You looked down again. “I just-” He sounded pained, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to respond. 

You hated that he had heard your conversation. Partially because he tended to be a bit critical of your friends, even if he didn’t express it. Remus was overly protective in nature, baring his teeth whenever he perceived someone as a threat to his loved ones. The larger insecurity though, was his possible agreement with your friend's statements. You knew your friend wasn’t always wrong in her observations, but it still hurt nonetheless. You also knew you were sensitive, but the things she said still felt slightly, cruel, for a lack of a better word. 

“No it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” If there was any other sound in the room it would’ve overtaken your voice. You felt him stiffen slightly before turning to face you more. 

“It would seem that I do.” If he was about to reprimand you, he didn't have to sound so gentle. “I never want to come between you and your friends, you know I think it’s important to have your own people you talk to, and all that matters is that you like them. But I- I can’t help but comment now.” His thumb was rubbing gently into the inside of your wrist, feeling the veins there. “I don’t think the way she talks to you is very kind or… healthy. And I know that you say I can be a bit… overprotective.” He said the word like it was poison. “But I just... really don’t like it.” 

“She’s just trying to help.” You weren’t sure why you were defending the friend who seemed so determined to slice your self confidence. 

“There’s helping, and then there’s being rude.” He couldn’t keep the ire from his tone. 

“It’s not rude if it’s correct.” You said, barely above a whisper. You squeezed your eyes shut in a pitiful attempt to not cry.

“It’s not correct though.” He sounded angry now, you cowered in on yourself. “Do you really think that meanly about yourself, lovely girl?” He ducked his head to try to meet your eyes, but you wouldn’t let him. 

“I’m not thinking any way about myself.” You argued. “I’m just thinking honestly.” You looked up at him. He looked like he was in pain himself. 

“No.” He said firmly. “You’re not going to entertain that anymore. She’s fucking wrong, okay? The way she talks down to you isn’t okay. You’re perfect.” You shook your head. He hooked a finger under your chin, forcing your glossy eyes to meet his fierce ones. “You’re perfect, dovey. I don’t give a shit what size you are or what any asshole thinks of it. The only thing I care about is you being happy and you knowing how fucking stunning I find you.” You tried to look down again but he didn’t let you. “Are we clear?” 

“Yes.” You said quietly. He nodded, settling down for the moment. Though you know that he will be extra insistent with his affection and compliments for the foreseeable future. 

“Alright. Enough of that.” He let his hand fall to your shoulder, then down to your waist. You winced as he felt the curving flesh of your side, but he didn’t stop. “C’mere, baby dove.” He pulled you into his lap before you could stop him. 

“I’m gonna crush you.” You said flatly. 

“Good.” He huffed. You were going to respond but his lips attached to your neck, right on the spot behind your ear, that he knew made you weak. You sighed. “I love you, dovey.” He kissed the spot again, cutting off your voice. You didn’t mind, though.

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU (SERIES 2)

(Obviously this excludes "The Curse of Cornelius Sigan" that was already done HERE)

FIRST PART (SERIES 1) >> NEXT PART

In "The Once and Future Queen"

In Arthur's chambers.

Merlin: (enters, very enthusiastically, carrying Arthur's breakfast) Raise and shine! 😊

Arthur: (already awake, definitely not waiting for Merlin to arrive) You're late. You literally sleep next door. How can you still be late?

Merlin: Oh, don't act like you don't appreciate the extra hours of sleep. (puts the breakfast on the table) Your breakfast.

Arthur: (surprised) Wow, that's... a very generous breakfast.

Merlin: Only the best for the best.😊

Arthur: ... Right. (gets off the bed and sits to eat his breakfast) Have breakfast with me. You must be hungry.

Merlin: There's no need. I have mine here (takes a bread out of his pocket) That breakfast is all for you, my lord. I made sure to have your favourites, ham, cheese, even sausages-

Arthur: Did I do something?

Merlin: What? 😧

Arthur: You only ever being this good when you are mad at me.

Merlin: I'm not mad. If I was I would've woke you up very early in the morning.

Arthur: Then what is it?

Merlin: Nothing! Can't I just want to be a good servant once in a while?

Arthur: (looks at him suspiciosly) Eat with me then.

Merlin: That's very nice of you my lord, but I'm a servant. I wouldn't dare to eat at the same place of a royal.

Arthur: (panics)

Merlin: (laughs) I'm kidding! (sits infront of Arthur, takes a ham and puts it in his bread) See? I'm not mad. (takes a bite)

Arthur: (sighs in relief) Alright. (starts eating)

Merlin: (serves himself a vase of water) Oh, you know the jousting tournament is coming, right?

Arthur: I'm aware Merlin. I'm participating in it.

Merlin: Yeah, Gwen and Lancelot always go to watch you... uhmm... joust and stuff. (drinks all his water in one go and serves himself more) Lancelot especially enjoys watching you.

Arthur: Uhum. (keeps eating)

Merlin: And Gwen was wondering, just out of curiosity, of course, if you had the means to maybe... let him participate in this one?

Arthur: (puts down his food abruptly) I knew it!

Merlin: Arthur, please! 🥺 It would mean a lot to Lancelot to be able to join this tournament.

Arthur: Don't give me those eyes! 😠 You know I would let him join if I could. But I can't change the Knight's code and Lancelot is not a noble so he can't participate.

Merlin: (tentatively) But what if we could, hypothetically speaking, pass him as a nobel?

Arthur: That's identity fraud! (Thinking) What am I even surprised? He did this for me before and I bet he was the one who made Lancelot's fake seal in my timeline too.

Merlin: It would be just for this tournament, no one will find out. Please 🥺.

Arthur: No, Merlin. I'm already giving him a knight training behind my father's back. And You know we are walking on very thin ice with him. So I won't risk it.

Merlin: (thinking) Oh, but when it was about defending your pride You had no problem with it 😑... Wait, that's it! (Says) I understand. It's a shame. I was looking forward to watch Lancelot beat you.

Arthur: (offended) You think Lancelot could beat me?

Merlin: I mean, he's been doing great progress.

Arthur: That doesn't mean he can beat me. I'm still his teacher.

Merlin: You heard that old saying "Student becomes the master"?

Arthur: Lancelot wouldn't stand a chance against me!

Merlin: Well, I guess now we'll never know. (drinks his water in one go again and stands up) Enjoy the rest of your breakfast, I have chores to do. (starts leaving)

Arthur: What do mean? You still have to dress me. Merlin!

Merlin: (already gone)

Arthur: (sighs and looks Merlin's bread on the table) That idiot, he didn't even finish his breakfast. (keeps eating, then mumbles, annoyed) Lancelot beating me. As if!

Time skip. Merlin going to the laundry with Gwen.

Merlin: I can't believe you talked me into this.

Gwen: So he said yes?

Merlin: Not yet, but he's about to. In three... two... one.

Arthur: (calling from afar) MERLIN!

Merlin: (smiling) Start preparing Lancelot's armor. (leaves)

Time skip. Arthur, Merlin, Gwen and Lancelot in Gwen's house.

Lancelot: You are doing WHAT?! 😨

Arthur: (confused) Pass you as a nobel for the tournament. Didn't you ask Merlin to convince me of letting you join?

Lancelot: NO! I would never abuse of Merlin's influence like that, my lord.

Arthur: Influence?

Gwen: It was me who asked, love. (stroke Lancelot's arm) You always have this yearning in your eyes every time we go to a tournament. I wanted you to experience it at least once.

Lancelot: (holds her hands lovinly) Guinevere, you know I love you and that you managed to organize all this just to make me happy makes me love you even more, but I can't let you do this. You could get in serious trouble. (points at Merlin and Arthur) All of you could get in serious trouble. Everyone knows me here. There's no way I could pass as a nobel.

Merlin: You have nothing to worry about. Everything is perfectly planned. Arthur payed a farmer to pose as Sir William of Deira when you are not jousting. And since he is from one of the outlying villages, no one will recognise him.

Arthur: Gwen has the armor and weapons, I the resources. The only thing you'll have to worry about is to not take your helmet off.

Lancelot: I'm surprised you agreed to this, Sire.

Arthur: Well, if I didn't I was risking Merlin and Gwen passing you as a nobel either way. Besides, I figured if I really wanted you to be my knight one day, you'll need to have all the experience you could get.

Gwen: And he wanted to prove Merlin he could beat you.

Lancelot: Oh, that makes more sense. (sighs, but then smiles) Alright, I'm in. (holds Gwen's hands again) Will you cheer for me?

Gwen: You don't even have to ask (kisses his cheek)

Arthur: (turns to Merlin) Will you cheer for me?

Merlin: (snorts) Are you kidding? I can't wait for Lancelot to beat your ass. (suddenly makes a gesture of pain)

Arthur: (worried) Are you okay?

Merlin: (with labored breathing) I'm fine. I just... forgot the carpenter works nearby.

Gwen: I'll get you some water! (leaves quickly)

Arthur: (guides Merlin to a chair) Lancelot, stay with Merlin. I'll talk to the carpenter.

Merlin: (grabs Arthur's wrist) No... Arthur... Let him be. He's just... doing his job. I'm... the one who... has to get... used to this. (takes deeps breaths) Just... hold me... please.

Arthur: (bends and holds Merlin) That's it. In and out, in and out.

Merlin: (his breathing evens and calms)

Lancelot: (in relief) You're getting better at it.

Gwen: (comes back with a vase of water) Here. Take this.

Merlin: (drinks it all in one go)

Gwen: Not so fast! You could choke!

Arthur: Don't worry he always drinks... water like this. (realises, thinking with growing concern) Now that I think about it, he's been drinking a lot of water lately... and eating less.

Merlin: (smiles at Arthur) I'm better now. You can let go.

Arthur: (Doesn't let go, frowning, still lost in thought)

Merlin: Arthur?

Arthur: (snaps out of it, looks at Merlin and gives him a soft smile though it's a bit wavery) Can you stand up? (Helps Merlin stand up still holding him)

Merlin: (giggles) Seriously, I'm fine.

Arthur: (finally lets go) Good. Because we have a lot of work to do.

Time skip. At night in Merlin's chambers. Merlin wakes up, there's no noise, but he has the feeling an intruder has entered, he just knows he's not alone. He gets up slowly and walks around the room alert, ready to use his magic.

Merlin: (whispers) I know you are there. I'm not scared of you.

Myror: (comes out of a shadow, dagger in hand) So the prince's little boy toy has guts. Or should I say "Unicorn Catcher"? You've built quite a reputation.

Merlin: Such as you, "The most feared assasin in all the known lands". Uther doubled the security, which means you had help to enter. Though why are you here in my room completely baffles me.

Myror: (presses Merlin against a wall abruptly and puts the dagger at his throat) Don't play dumb with me, boy! I know from a good source that your chambers conects to the prince's.

Merlin: Oh, so you do have an informant, great.

Myror: (perplexed at Merlin's calmness and then smirks a little) I must say I'm impressed. People usually start screaming by now.

Merlin: So Arthur comes to my aid and you can kill him? (whispers even more quitely) Not a chance.

Myror: (presses the dagger more against Merlin's throat and it starts bleeding) I can make you scream in other ways (threatenly) Where. Is. The. Door?

Merlin: (who definitely hided and blocked the door with his magic) I. Won't. Tell. You.

Myror: I don't need you to scream (Shouts) PRINCE AR-

Merlin: Atæse!

Myror's dagger flies and cuts his throat, effectively killing him.

Merlin: (just looks down Myror's body until it stays still) I can't believe even the assassins know that stupid nickname. (puts his fingers on the wound on his throat and sighs) This is going to leave a scar.

Time skip. In the throne room. Uther sitting on the throne with Morgana at his side and Arthur with Merlin at his side standing infront of them.

Arthur: (very surprised) He's... dead?

Morgana: (smiles, relieved) It was a very close call. I'm glad nothing happened to you.

Uther: At first we thought he died because he fell while trying to climb the tower to your chambers, but the cut in his throat indicates the cause of death was another.

Arthur: So he was killed.

Morgana: What a fitting fate for an assassin.

Merlin: (about to laugh, but keeps it together)

Uther: Still. Odin must be made to pay for his actions. We must strike back at him.

Arthur: Surely you understand the grief he feels for the loss of his son. We should try to make peace with him. There's been enough bloodshed. (thinking) And is not the bloodshed I'm looking forward to.

Uther: Perhaps you're right. (sighs) If you don't mind, I'd like speak with you. (looks at Morgana and the Merlin) Alone.

Merlin: (hangs his head) Of course, Sire (bows and leaves)

Morgana: (stands up and bows) My lord (leaves)

Uther: Why didn't you inform me? Or call the guards?

Arthur: (confused) What?

Uther: You are not invencible, Arthur. No matter how skilled you think you are, that was a trained assassin. You could have died!

Arthur: ... You think I killed Myror?

Uther: He was found at the foot of your tower! And which are the only windows he could have been thrown from?

Arthur: Mine and... (realises, thinking) Merlin's! (says) You're right, it was very careless of me. It wasn't my chambers he entered though.

Uther: (realises) Oh... It makes sense. Your chambers were too secured to enter directly.

Arthur: And Merlin's weren't. You know why? Because you refused to give him any guards!

Uther: We talked about this. I won't waste my guards on a servant.

Arthur: He is not any servant, he is The Prince's manservant. It's obvious Myror tried to get to me through Merlin. And he won't be the last who tries.

Uther: And whose fault is that? It's not me who made his affections towards his servant very open!

Arthur: ...

Uther: (sighs) You are dismissed.

Time skip. The tournament. In Lancelot's tent.

Gwen: (gives Lancelot her favor, blushing) I thought you might... wear it for luck.

Lancelot: (smiles and takes it, blushing a little too) My lady-

Gwen: Still not a lady.

Lancelot: My Gwen. I'll wear it with honor. (kisses her)

Gwen: (kisses back)

Sir William/Farmer: (just entered) Uhm...

Merlin: (just entered too, coughs loudly)

Gwen and Lancelot: (pull away from each other, very embarrased)

Sir William/Farmer: They're nearly ready for you.

Lancelot: I'm almost ready (turns to Gwen) Would you...? (gestures the favor and his arm)

Gwen: Oh, right. (ties the favor in his arm with a smile)

Merlin: (mockingly) This was your plan all along wasn't it, Gwen? To fulfill your fantasy of having a knight in shining armor fighting for you.

Gwen: Shouldn't you be attending YOUR knight in shining armor, Merlin?

Merlin: You mean a prat in shining armor that I cleaned. I already put his armor on, I just came to wish Lancelot luck too. (to Lancelot) Not in the same way, of course.

Lancelot: Thank you, Merlin.

Gwen: I'm surprised you still have your neckerchief on.

Merlin: (blushes) He didn't manage to steal it this time.

Gwen: Why not give it to him for a change?

Merlin: ...what?

Lancelot: Remember what I told you in the woods? About making a move?

Gwen: And it's perfect! If he reacts badly you can disguise it as a joke... but if he doesn't 😏.

Merlin: (even more red) You are all crazy. (leaves)

Gwen: (sighs) Waiting for them to get together, it's almost as frustrating as waiting for you to ask my hand in marriage.

Lancelot: What?! 😳

Gwen: Nothing! 😄 (leaves)

In Arthur's tent.

Merlin: (enters) Nervous?

Arthur: Not at all.

Merlin: Really? Because you have a real opponent this time.

Arthur: If you are so sure Lancelot will win, why not make a bet?

Merlin: A bet?

Arthur: If I win, which I surely will, you'll have to do whatever I ask for a week?

Merlin: Don't I already on a daily basis? 😒

Arthur: Above the line of duty. But, if Lancelot wins you can ask anything of me for a week. Anything and I'll do it.

Merlin: (smiles mischievously) Alright. I hope you don't mind doing my chores for a week.

Arthur: (smiles back) We'll see about that.

People cheer outside.

Merlin: They are... waiting for you, my lord. (thinking about Gwen and Lancelot's words) This is stupid. This is SO stupid!

Arthur: (ready to steal Merlin's neckerchief, smirking) Well, I'm gonna need all the luck I can ge-

Merlin: (extends a hand with other neckerchief awkwardly, blushing) This... this one is better.

Arthur: ...

Merlin: (ties it quickly around Arthur's arm, avoiding his eyes at all time) There.

Arthur: ... Merlin-

Servant x: (enters) Sire, the crowd is expecting you.

Arthur: Yeah, in a minute, I was- (turns to Merlin)

Merlin: (Already gone)

Arthur: (sighs, but then smiles full of hope) I'm coming.

After a very close competition, Arthur wins the tournament. Though people will talk about "Sir William" participation and how he seemed this close to win The Prince of Camelot. Both Merlin and Gwen cheered for their knights (though Merlin will never admit it). However, Arthur didn't give Merlin back his neckerchief, which the warlock doesn't know if he should take as a good or bad sign. Maybe Arthur didn't even catch whatever he was trying to intend and Merlin thinks it's better like that.

In Arthur's tent. After the tournament.

Merlin: (finishes to put Arthur out of his armor)

Arthur: So?

Merlin: So?

Arthur: (flirtatiously) I want my reward. 😏

Merlin: ¡Oh, right! What is it going to be? Dress fools clothes for a week? Or are you going to make me wear a dress? Please, don't make me wear a dress.

Arthur: Tempting, but no. (gets closer to Merlin) I have something else in mind.

Merlin: What is it then?

Arthur: (just looks at him, still smiling)

Merlin: (giggles) What? Come on. Don't act all mysterious now-

Arthur: (kisses him)

Merlin: (Merlin exe has stopped working) ...

Arthur: (pulls away at the lack of response) Merlin?

Merlin: (blinks) Thank you (leaves running)

Arthur: (chuckles softly) Uhm... You are welcome?

In Lancelot's tent.

Gwen: You did great, even if you lost.

Lancelot: (holding her hand) With you I already feel like a winner.

Gwen: 😍

Lancelot: (hesitantly) Gwen, about... asking your ha-

Merlin: (enters, talking fast) Hi, Lancelot, can I borrow Gwen for a moment? Thank you! (grabs Gwen's wrist and pulls her)

Gwen: Wha-wait! Merlin! (And they both leave)

Lancelot: ...

Somewhere apart from everyone else.

Gwen: What is it?

Merlin: (still quite in shock) Arthur... kissed me.

Gwen: (To the Sky) FINALLY! Thanks to all the Gods! (Hugs him) I'm so happy for you!

Merlin: ...

Gwen: (pulls away, confused) You should be celebrating. Why aren't you celebrating?

Merlin: Is he echanted?

Gwen: What?

Merlin: This seems too far for a joke. He must be echanted. But... why would someone echant him to kiss me?

Gwen: You have to be kidding me! (Holds Merlin by the shoulders) Merlin, it's obvious Arthur has feelings for you! Had them for a very long time! I know it, Lancelot knows it, Leon, Gaius, all the knights and servants. Even the King knows it! (lifts her hands in the air) Everyone knows it!

Merlin: But... that's impossible.

Gwen: He just kissed you!

Merlin: I know!

Gwen: Then what makes you doubt? Was it something he said after he kissed you?

Merlin: Uh...

Gwen: He did say something, right?

Merlin: Well, he asked "Merlin?"

Gwen: And then?

Merlin: I said "thank you".

Gwen: (almost yells) You said "thank You"!? 😱

Merlin: And I ran away.

Gwen: (definitely yells now) YOU RAN AWAY?!! 😡

Merlin: Stop yelling!

Gwen: (takes deeps breaths to compose herself) Sorry, but... why?

Merlin: I don't know! He kissed me out of nowhere and my heart went thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, and my mind (makes sound and gesture of explosion). I wasn't able to react at all and "thank you" was the only thing that came to my mind and then everything was too much so my first instinct was running! So I ran. And now I'm telling you so you can tell me what to do.

Gwen: Oh, you want me to tell you what to do?

Merlin: Yes!

Gwen: TALK TO HIM!

Time skip. In Arthur's chambers.

Merlin: (enters, nervous) Hi...

Arthur: (turns and smiles) There you are, gone boy. Brought my lunch already?

Merlin: You... kissed me.

Arthur: I did.

Merlin: ...Why?

Arthur: (frowns) I thought it was obvious.

Merlin: ...

Arthur: Merlin, I've been courting you for months.

Merlin: What?! When?! 😨

Arthur: When not? I gifted you a flower, new clothes, a horse. I even gave you my mother's sigil.

Merlin: But... that's impossible. You-you like girls.

Arthur: (laughs softly) Have you seen me with any girl?

Merlin: N-no. But even if you-you liked boys that way, you can't have feelings for me. That doesn't make sense. Nothing is making sense! NO! There is no way you-Or maybe it is joke, but this is too cruel. You wouldn't-Or am I dreaming? That must be it, I'm dreaming-

Arthur: (holds Merlin gently by the shoulders) Merlin. (craddles his face with a hand) Look at me.

Merlin: (looks at Arthur with watery eyes)

Arthur: You are not dreaming. This is real. My feelings for you (puts Merlin's hand on his chest) Are real. I can't tell you exactly how it started, it's... complicated. (holds his hands lovinly) But when I realised, you were the only thing that kept me going, my purpose, my reason for existing. I think it was always there, but I was so blind! (gives a watery laugh and his eyes water) I wasted so much time... But I won't waste it anymore.

Merlin: I... don't understand-

Arthur: I love you, Merlin. Gods knows why, you are such a pain in the ass sometimes, but I do. You drive me crazy and infuriate me more than anybody else has ever done, but you also make my day better with your rambling, when you laugh or just smile. I love your clumsiness, your bravery, your disrespectful, but loyal self. You are the chaos in person, so full of contradictions, but you are also the calm to my storm, the light to my dark, the half that makes me whole. There's really no words to decribe how much I love you, I could say I love you with all my heart, but it wouldn't be enough. I could say I love you with all my being, but that's still not accuarate. Just know that I rather die than live in a world where you aren't, that there is no line I wouldn't cross for you, that I love you madly, beyond all reason, beyond all the words that could exist. I love you more than I ever have loved and will love anyone. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Merlin: (merlin exe has stopped working again)

Arthur: Merlin?

Merlin: ...

Arthur: Please, say something.

Merlin: ...Thank you. (lets go of his hands and leaves)

Arthur: (stunned in place, between confused and hurt)... What?

Time skip. In Gwen's house.

Gwen: (yelling) YOU SAID THANK YOU AGAIN?! 😡

Merlin: I panicked!

Gwen: (makes a move to go to Merlin, screaming in rage)

Lancelot: (holds her by the waist)

Gwen: Let go of me! I'm gonna kill him! 😤(struggles)

Tom: (enters) Gwen, you have... (trails off at seeing the scene before him)

Morgana: (enters too) Uhm... What is going on?

Gwen: Arthur confessed his love to Merlin and HE (points at Merlin) just said "thank you" and left!

Morgana: (gets furious too) YOU LITTLE SHIT! 😡 (makes a gesture to go to Merlin too)

Tom: (holds Morgana by the waist) Wooow! What's with all the violence?

Morgana: He's been preparing how to confess to you for MONTHS! YOU ASSHOLE! 😤

Lancelot: Please, my ladys, I'm as upset as you are, but beating Merlin up is not going to solve anything. Calm down, please.

Morgana: (still struggling against Tom) Why would you say such a hurtful thing?! Were you playing with his feelings all this time?!

Merlin: No! I didn't want to hurt him, I didn't even know about his feelings until today!

Morgana: Don't you love him?

Merlin: I do!

Morgana: Then WHY in all hell's did you say "thank you" instead of "I love you too"?!

Merlin: BECAUSE I BURIED THOSE WORDS IN MY HEART FOR YEARS!

Morgana: (Stops struggling and Tom lets go of her)

Gwen: (stops struggling and Lancelot lets go of her)

Merlin: (his eyes watering) I prepared myself to never say it, because he was never supposed to love me back. Because he was going to meet a nice girl someday and fall in love with her and be happy. He was supposed to grow old with her while I just standed by and watched, always by his side. And one day in the far future, when he's on his deathbed or I in mine, I would finally tell him and we both would laugh about how silly my crush was and Arthur would joke saying that he's flattered but I'm not his type. And that would be our last memory together!

Morgana, Gwen and Lancelot: ...

Tom: Wow.. You really visualized all that? (goes to Merlin and pats his shoulder) You have a great imagination kid.

Merlin: (thinking) Is not imagination, in a way I already lived it.

Tom: Well, I have to get back to work. You can stay here all you want if you promise to be civilized, Okay?

Morgana: Of course, Tom. My apologies for my previous behaviour.

Gwen: My too, dad.

Tom: (smiles) It's forgiven. (whispers to Lancelot) Call me if you need me. (leaves)

Lancelot: Merlin, were the words "Thank you" chose randomly to replace the words "I love you" or... you actually felt thankful?

Merlin: (tears rollling down his eyes) It's a miracle he even spears a glance at me. Of course I'm thankful. Why he even loves me, I don't understand.

Gwen: I didn't know you had yourself in such low self esteem. Merlin, you are wonderful person. There's nothing not to love about you.

Merlin: Well, I doubt Arthur still loves me after this.

Morgana: You messed up. Doesn't mean you can't make it right. Go talk to him. Explain to him what you just told us.

Merlin: I can't! Not with the mouth I have, I'll probably end up just saying "thank you" again.

Gwen: What if... you don't actually say it?

Time skip. In Leon's chambers.

Arthur: (lying on Leon's bed, sad) And then he just said "Thank you". What does that even mean?

Leon: (in a chair nearby) Well, if it had been any other person. I would say you were rejected, Sire, but it's Merlin. You can't really tell with him.

Arthur: (sighs) I thought I got the signals right. He gave me his neckerchief willingly today, I thought that was a move! Giving your favor to a knight in a tournament is always a romantic move, isn't it Leon?

Leon: Of course, Sire.

Arthur: Or maybe he just got tired of me stealing his neckerchief constantly and I got it all wrong. (sinks his face in his hands)

Leon: I don't believe so, Sire.

Arthur: Then why did he say "thank you"?! (covers himself with the the covers) He loved me before! Why doesn't he love me here too?!

Leon: Wait, Merlin said he loved you before?

Arthur: No, after. But that after doesn't exist anymore.

Leon: ... Are you drunk, Sire?

Someone knocks the door.

Leon: Who is it?

Merlin: Leon, have you seen Arthur? I need to talk to him.

Leon: (looking at Arthur) Uhm...

Arthur: (composes himself as quickly as he can and gets off the bed) I'm here.

Leon: (opens the door)

Merlin: (enters hesitantly) Hey... I was looking for you.

Arthur: It seemed more that you were running from me.

Merlin: Yeah... Sorry about that.

Uncomfortable silence.

Arthur: Leon, can you leave us alone, please?

Leon: Of course, Sire. (bows and leaves, thinking) Kicked out of my own room. The things I do for these two.

Arthur: I want an answer. I real answer. If you are going to reject me, do it properly, cause if you say "thank you" again, I swear to the gods, merlin, I-

Merlin: (extends a hand with a letter)

Arthur: What is that?

Merlin: My answer. (blushes furiously) I... can't trust my tongue to not mess it up again, so... I wrote it down.

Arthur: (takes the letter in silence)

Merlin: I'll leave you to read it-

Arthur: No, Merlin you are going to stay right there until I finish reading.

Merlin: But-

Arthur: I think it's the least I deserve.

Merlin: (nods, still feeling bad) You're right. Go ahead.

Arthur: (opens the letter and reads)

"Arthur, I'm so sorry for how I reacted and that I hurt you with my words, but you kissing me so suddenly and professing your love for me so deeply, you down-struck-disarm me. I never thought someone like you would ever love someone like me. And I'm not saying this because you are the prince and I a servant. You know I don't care about titles. I'm saying this because you are the bravest, most righteous, and courageous man I have ever known. How could such a man love me? You said you can't tell when you fell in love with me. But me? I don't think there was a moment that a didn't love you. I am so hopelessly in love with you, every part of you, even when you act like a prat or a dollopehead and make me want to punch you in the face. But I resigned myself that I would never have you for so long that you corresponding my feelings, I couldn't believe it was real. I still don't believe it's real. You are promising me the sun, Arthur. How can I believe the sun is now mine? This love confession is not nearly as beautiful as yours, but I want you to know for certain that-”

Merlin: I love you (his eyes watering, but smiling).

Arthur: (looking at Merlin, wonderstruck and grinning more widely than Merlin has ever seen him) Say it again. (gets closer to Merlin)

Merlin: I said it? 😧... Oh, gods I said! 😨 I actually said it. Okay. Good.

Arthur: (gets closer) Merlin-

Merlin: Did you finish reading it? My thoughs are more organized there, I swear!

Arthur: (and closer) Merlin-

Merlin: Please, I don't want to mess it up again-

Arthur: Merlin! (holds his face in his hands, their chest so close they can touch, his grin bright as the stars) Say it again.

Merlin: (his eyes find Arthur's and he smiles) I love you. So, so much it hurts.

Arthur: Thank you.

Merlin and Arthur: (laugh)

Arthur: (kisses him)

Merlin: (kisses back)

Any rational thought, feel of insecurity or nervousness is gone at the feeling of Arthur's mouth moving on his. First tender and sweet, but then the kiss deepens and Arthur's tongue is probing against his lips. Then Merlin's arms are around Arthur's neck and his fingers in his hair, while Arthur holds him closer by the waist. This is better than he ever dare to imagine. It's overwhelming. All too much, all too good to be real. He could feel the so called butterflies in his stomach-

But suddenly, in the instant he opens his eyes, he notices there are butterflies, ACTUAL butterflies, flying around the room.

Merlin: (pulls away from Arthur abruptly, thinking in panic) Shit, shit, shit, shit!

Arthur: (confused) What's the- (notices the butterflies) Wow... Where did they-

Merlin: (shouts) THE WINDOW! (composes himself, blushing) I mean, they probably came... from the window.

Arthur: (realises it was Merlin, but decides to play along) Yeah, probably. How odd. Do butterflies normaly shine like that?

Merlin: (even more red) No, it's a... very weird species.

Arthur: (smirks) Well, where were we? (about to kiss Merlin again)

Merlin: (stops him, putting a hand on his chest) Uhm... Can we... go slow? (thinking) I can't have more butterflies appearing out of nowhere!

Arthur: (remembers why Merlin is called "The Unicorn Catcher" and facepalms himself mentally) Right, of course. Forgive me, I shouldn't have lost control like that. But I wanted this for so long-Not that I only thought about doing this especifically. I want everything with you! Wait, that sounded bad. What I meant to say is that I don't only wish to do, uhm, physical things with you. I want to court you properly, I've already been doing it. I do respect you-

Merlin: (chuckles)

Arthur: What's so funny?

Merlin: Nothing, it's good to know I'm not the only one who is a mess. (gives a long sigh) Gods, I still can't believe any of this is real!

Arthur: (smiles and holds his hands tenderly) Believe it. I'll tell you all the times I have to until you do. I love you, Merlin.

Merlin: (smiles) And I love you.

Arthur and Merlin: (loss each other again in each other's eyes and lean to kiss)

Suddenly the door opens and Morgana, Gwen, Leon and Lancelot fall to the floor like if they had been leaning on the door and lost support.

Arthur and Merlin: ...

Leon, Lancelot, Gwen and Morgana: (stand up quickly)

Arthur: Uhm...What are you doing here? 🤨

Leon: I was about to get something from my room.

Lancelot: I was looking for Leon.

Gwen: I was accompanying him.

Morgana: I was... passing by.

An uncomfortable silence.

Leon: (looks around the room) Why are there butterflies in my room?

Arthur and Merlin: (shout) THE WINDOW!

...

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @starrieisdelusional , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @curiously-lazy , @harriettesthings , @andrealux16 , @wacko-weirdo , @greatdonutenemy , @yougottobekittenme , @anxiousosaurus , @kinkforwings , @someweirdassnamee , @impracticalantlers , @miyriu , @hobipabo , @whitemaskcd , @bogslob , @tkmaras , @rubinaitoart

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monsters Reimagined: Yeenoghu, Demon Lord of Insatiable Hunger

It's been some years since I did my overhaul on the lore of the gnolls and how they embody the weird de/humanization that goes on with various monsters over d&d's history. Ever since I've had more than a few folks write in asking about how I would handle the default Gnoll God Yeenoghu, who exists in a similar state of "Kill everything that ever existed" to Orcus and a good portion of the game's other late game threats, thematically flat and not really useful for building stories around.

For a while I've avoided doing this post because I thought it might skew a little too close to my personal philosophy, and risk going from simply being influenced by my views to an outright soapbox. I personally hold that despite being part of our nature hunger is the source of the majority of human cruelty, and if society and cooperation are the tools we developed to best fight against the threat of famine, it is fear of that famine that allows the powerful to control society and secure their positions of privilege.

I've also dealt with disordered eating in a prior period of my life, alternating between neglecting my body's needs and punishing myself for needing in the first place. I'm well acquainted with hunger and the hollowing effect it can have, though I'd never claim to know it so well as someone who went hungry by anything other than choice and self hatred.

Learning to love food again saved saved my life. The joy of eating, of feeling whole and nourished, yes, but there was also the joy of making: of experimenting, improving, providing, being connected to a great tradition of cultivation which has guided our entire species.

If I was going to talk about an evil god of hunger, I was going to have to touch on all of that, and now that it's out in the open I can continue with a more thematic and narrative discussion on the beast of butchery below the cut.

What's wrong: Going by the default lore, there's not much that really separates Yeenoghu from any other chaotic evil mega-boss. He wants to kill everything in vicious ways, and encourages his followers to do the same. He's there so that the evil clerics can have someone to pray to because the objectively good gods are on the party's side and wouldn't help a bunch of cannibalistic slavers.

This is boring, we've done this song and dance before, and the only reason that there are so many demon lords/evil gods/archdevils like this is because the bioessentialism baked into the older editions of the game's lore was also a theological essentialism, and that every group had to have their own gods which perfectly embodied their ethos and there was no crossover whatsoever, themes be damned.

Normally I'd do a whole section about "what can be salvaged" from an old concept, but we're scraping the bottom of the barrel right from the inset. Likewise my trick of combining multiple bits of underwritten d&d mythology to make a sturdier concept isn't going to work as most of d&d's other gods of hunger or famine are similar levels of paper thin.

How do we fix it: I want Yeenoghu to be the opposite of the path I found myself on, a hunger so great and so painful that it percludes happiness, cooperation, or even rational thought. Hunger not as a sumptuous hedonistic gluttony but a hollowing emptiness that compels violence and desperation. More than just psychopathic slaughter and gore, it is becalmed sailors drinking seawater to quench their thirst, the urban poor mixing sawdust and plaster into their food because their wages are not enough to afford grain.

This is where we get the idea of Yeenoghu as an enemy of society, not because violence is antithical to society ( I think we've learned by now how structured violence can really be) but because society fundamentally breaks down when it can't take care of the people who provide its foundations. Contrast the Beast of Butchery with one of my other favourite villainous famine spirits: Caracalla the grim trader, who embodies scarcity as a form of profit and control in to Yeenoghu's scarcity as suffering.

Into this we can also add the idea of the hungry dead, ghouls yes but also vampires, anything cursed with an eternal existence and appetites it no longer has the ability to sate. A large number of cultures across the world share the idea that the dead cannot rest while they are starving, which is why we leave offerings of food by their graves or pour out a glass to the ones we lost along the way.

On that topic, there's also a scrap of lore involving Doresain god of ghouls, who has been depicted as an on and off servant of Yeenoghu. Since I'm already remaking the mythology, I'd have Doresain act as a sort of saint or herald for the demon lord, the wicked but still partially reasonable entity who can villain monolog before the feral and all consuming demon god shows up.

Summing it all up: Yeenoghu isn't a demon you wittingly worship, it's a demon that claims you, marks you as its mouthpiece and through you seeks to consume more of the world. It gives you just enough strength to keep on living, keep on suffering, keep on filling that hole in your belly and feed it in turn.

The greatest of these mouthpieces is Doresain, an elf of ancient times who's unearthly hungers elevated him to demigod status. Known as the knawbone king, he dwells within a dread domain of the shadowfell, and is sought out only for his ability to intercede with the maw-fiend's rampages.

Signs: Unnaturally persistent hunger pangs, excessive drool and gurgling stomach noises, the growth of extra teeth in the mouth, stomachs splitting open into mouths.

Symbols: An animal with three jaws, a three tailed flail or spiked whip. A crown of knawed bones (Doresain)

Titles: Beast of butchery, the maw fiend, the knawing god

Artist

[glossysoap]

glossy. this isn’t a request but lord jesus i need to share this thought with someone.

rudy.. just rudy being a very sweet person when around his family and friends, but with you? alone? oh god he’s so rough, he grips your ass and thighs. leaving marks there and slapping every inch of your body. especially your thighs and ass. grips your cheeks together to smoosh your cheeks together and make your lips pout out.

he chuckles at you, so evilly :(( just gripping your hips with so much force, your head forced into the pillow as he plows into you from behind, the bed creaking because this man thrusts in you. then he grabs at your throat, pulling you back and making your back arch for him, your hands try to reach the sheet but at the angle your at you cannot reach them. you can hear slow murmurs of: “Sí mamá, esa mierda se siente bien ¿eh?” (yeah mama, that shit feels good huh?) to “deja que te folle, mama. vas a recibir mi semen muy dentro de ti.” (let me breed you, mama. your going to take my cum deep inside you.)

and JESUS.. his arms? his muscles, he looks so good. sweating while his pelvis and abs tense and flex, scars adoring his skin and fuckkkk- you might cum on the spot because of how good he’s fucking you. he pushes you back down on the bed, flipping you over so he can watch your pussy take his thick dick. he and you both look down as he begins to thrust, a creamy ring beginning to form at his base. you moan and he groans. “look at tha��� mama. she loves my dick. sucking me right back in.” and when he begins to thrust in a little bit you cum so hard you squirt.

anyways, that’s my thought on rudy. i’m not sure why this popped into my head but it did. <3

(ps, my ovaries are wilding right now. so just ignore this if it isn’t your thing.)

FANGS your brain just keeps making banger after banger after banger.

(also im so so sorry for this taking long. you know what kind of dumpster fire these past few months have been. these are just some thoughts, not a full blown fic. this is also the very first time i’ve ever written for rudy so 🤞)

18+, afab and fem reader, fingering under table (so if you consider that dubcon then that's dubcon i guess?), breeding kink, choking, dirty talk, squirting, daddy kink (papi kink technically)

The way he’d be the sweetest to your family, especially your parents but fucking you to tears in private? Chefs kiss.

The scene that immediately comes to my mind is when your mom invites the two of you over for sunday dinner with your famly.

The weather was great, a little breezy — not too hot, not too cold. So you opted to wear a cute little sundress for dinner. It was a fresh shade of teal, ending just above your knee and flowing perfectly in the wind as the two of you walked arm-in-arm up to the door.

He was a perfect gentleman, like always. Holding the door open for you, pulling your chair out for you. Squeezing your hand while the table says grace, if your family does it.

The dinner takes place like normal, the different conversations flooding the dining room while some ate and some passed food around to spoon onto their plates.

“How’s your work going, hun?” Your mom would ask over her plate of food, with a fork in hand. You forced a smile as you felt your cheeks warm. Though Rudy looked perfectly normal to everyone else, eating his own plate of food next to you, they had no idea what he was really up to.

If anyone in your family had taken a look under the table they would see what his other hand was busy doing, which was gripping your bare leg. Starting at your knee and inching up your thigh, leaving a trail of electricity along your sensitive skin. Slipping underneath your dress to rest inside your inner thigh.

"Oh, sorry, w-what was your question?" You stumbled on your words with a sheepish laugh, still looking at your mom and trying to listen to her. It proved to be more difficult than you thought when Rudy picked up the pace. The rough pads of his fingers had begun inching closer and closer to the hem of your panties when your mom called your name again.

Your breath hitched, both from Rodolfo's dangerous teasing and from your mom pressing you for an answer at (what she didn't know) was the worst moment possible. You shook your head a bit in hopes of yanking yourself out of your lust-filled mind.

Under the table, you swatted at his hand that was planted on your inner thigh. His lips twitched as he fought back a smirk, his usually warm deep eyes all filled with hunger and want.

“I said, how is work?” Your mom pressed, taking a small bite of her food while she waited for you to answer. You could feel the attention of everyone else at the table waiting for you to answer. Rudy, the smug asshole, hummed expectantly. As if his fingers weren't now sliding under the flimsy fabric of your panties. As if the rough pads of his finger tips weren't caressing the sensitive skin of your folds.

"It's going good! Yeah, it's going good." You choke out as he traced a single finger along your soaked slit.

"Awe, well that's nice! I'm glad," She took another bite and began striking up a conversation with someone else sitting next to her. You couldn't tell who, nor did you really care. Not when Rudy had began easing two fingers into your dripping heat.

You barely conceal a gasp as he begins moving his fingers inside you, teasing your warm walls with delicate rubbing and stroking.

From that moment on in the dining room, everything around you is tuned out. Your families voices are muffled and the scrapes of silverware against plates are just a small clink in the background.

"W-what the fuck are you thinking?" You whispered to him, attempting to speak with venom but the warmth in your stomach was just too strong that it overpowered any intimidation you'd hoped to have. And he could tell, leaning over so his mouth was next to your ear.

"I'm thinking," He whispered against your ear, his fingers scissoring inside you. "That I need to get my hands on you and that perfect pussy, cariño... and I need it now."

… Which is how you ended up here.

All but whisked away to your childhood room, food long forgotten, as he locks the door behind you and paws at your sundress. His calloused hands tug on the straps and pulls them down so they hung off your shoulders, revealing your tits.

He wasted no time in pawing at your breasts, grabbing handfuls into his calloused hands and groping to his hearts content. He backed you up against your bedroom door, brown eyes peering down at you with what could only be described as pure unadulterated hunger.

“There they are,” He crooned, voice deep and husky, sending chills down your spine as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth. His tongue flicked at it as his mouth was wrapped around your nipple, lapping at the sensitive skin. He’s all tugging and teasing, suckling your bud with a hum, before letting go with a pop.

Your breath hitches and he smiles against your nipple at that small gasp.

“Been seeing these all day long, wanted to grab them so many times.” He remembers seeing them sit so pretty in your sundress, wanting to grope them and nudge his cock between them.

"R-Rodolfo, please!" You plead, your hand coming up to card your fingers through his hair, holding his mouth to your tit. Your cunt still throbbed, all from his teasing throughout the dinner.

"Oh, I know, querida," He murmured against your breast, "You're all needy, hm? So pathetic." Your cunt throbs even more at his degrading words. You nod over and over, whines spilling from your lips.

He laughs.

"All wet n' dripping for me? For papí?" The last word made your breath hitch.

"Yeah, yeah! Please, please, I need you, papí!"

(...)

Before you knew it, he had you bare on your childhood bed. Skin slapping against skin, wet sounds filling your room. Your moans and whines mixed with his grunts and groans. He was still fully clad in his suit, only his cock fished out of his pants.

Your legs were folded up as far as they would comfortably go, hiked over his shoulders. His chest was damn near flush against yours, just as his forehead was pressed against yours. His cock filled you up perfectly with every thrust, his tip nudging your g-spot every time he thrusted in.

"So- so fucking tight! So perfect, my preciosa." He grunts out, feeling you clench around him.

His face was crowding you, not letting you look away as he splits you open on his cock. One hand is gripping your throat and keeping your gaze on him - slightly squeezing to restrict your air flow just enough to have your head all fuzzy.

"Fuck, fuck! P-papí," You choked out a moan. He chuckled at the blissed out look in your eyes, your pupils all lust blown and your eyes all glassy. Your lips were all slick with spit and drool, sore from being kissed and bitten.

"Go on, let it out. Don't you dare hold back, cariño." He damn near demanded, readjusting his position and propping himself up on the balls of his feet to be able to thrust into you even sharper. He smirked as he watched your mouth hang open in a wail and he bottomed out.

"Good girl, good girl," He leaned into your ear to purr. He felt you clenching around him as he whispered into your ear, never slowing in his thrusts.

The coil in your stomach tightens as you feel yourself growing close to the edge, his previous fingering already building up your pleasure. Your brain's all muddled and fuzzy and your cunt's gripping him so tight, clit throbbing and swollen.

He could feel it, too. you were practically milking his cock, begging for his seed to fill you up and claim you as his own.

"Fuck, you're taking me for all I'm worth, amor." His mouth moved down to your neck, licking a stripe along the span and ending up under your ear where he left a bite.

"Gonna fill you up, gonna make you mine. You'd like that, wouldn't you? You'd like me breeding that cunt, taking her for myself?" He growls in your ear, mouth moving to start biting your neck again.

He hisses in your ear when you pulse and flutter around his cock at his words. He feels his own orgasm approaching from how tight you were hugging him. It only moved him even closer with how pretty you were whining and whimpering for him.

"Fuck yeah, please!" You cry out, clutching at his shoulders desperately, trying to find purchase through all the pleasure. "Breed me, breed me, breed--," He laughs as you babble mindlessly, begging for him to fill your cunt with his spend.

He ruts into you endlessly, feeling his tip nudge the plug of your cervix. He uses his free hand to reach between your bodies and find your swollen clit, just begging for his attention.

When his rough finger pads start toying with your throbbing clit, he hears you wail and clench around him so deliciously. You gush around him with a cry, squirting with a damn near shout. When you cream on his cock, you push him over the edge too.

"Fuck!" He damn near howls, warmth flooding your core as he fills you up nice and proper, determined to make it take. He punctuates his orgasm by sinking his teeth in the crook of your neck.

©️ glossysoap 2024. please do not steal, copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my works without my permission

[readychilledwine]

Pieces of You - Prologue

Summary - After losing Feyre to childbirth, Rhysand finds himself leaning on one of her friends much more than he'd ever expected

Warnings - death, loss of a mate, babies, drug induced sleep

A/N - this one is going to hurt before it feels good, friends. It's gonna hurt a lot. Based on these little pictures I found in a tiktok

Silence had fallen over the house.

There wasn't a single voice whispering, no bells to ring in the celebration of Nyx's birth, no loud pops from corks of champagne echoing in the air. 

Just silence. 

Madja stood in the doorway, a small bundle of what should have been joy wrapped in her arms. Rhys was sat on the steps, shoulders shaking with anger and sadness. 

The Cauldron had refused Nesta's offer. It had instead mocked them, changing Nesta's womb, forcing her to keep the powers that plagued her, and breaking the death bargain. 

It forced him to live while his mate died, promising there were no second chances this time. No magic being to bring her back again. This time was for good. It was forever. Rhysand knew life could be a bitter thing, but he did not expect death to be as cruel. 

“High lord,” Madja approached slowly. “We need to decide how we are feeding Nyx. The babe needs to eat.”

Azriel appeared besides Rhys, kneeling down next to him as he stared off the balcony. “I.. I don't know,” he finally answered. “We hadn't talked about it. She figured she would just be here to do it.” Azriel squeezed Rhysand's shoulder, handing him a vial with blue liquid in it. “We will have to find a wet nurse. Though, I am unsure how you will find one this last minute.”

“Y/n,” Azriel said softly. “She just had a babe, didn't she?” Madja nodded. “Can she just feed them both?”

“it is possible. Y/n does over produce already and has been storing milk. Newborns need to be fed almost hourly, though, shadowsinger. She'd have to have them both here, or Nyx will have to stay with her."

Rhys just shrugged, uncorking the vial and shooting back the contents. “I really don't care about that aspect, Madja. The house is huge, and I'm alone now anyway. What's the point in caring? She can decide." Azriel helped him stand as the sleeping drought started to work and supported his brother into a bedroom. 

He reappeared moments later. “I'll ask her. I know you don't want to burden her.” He reached for Nyx, admiring his perfect face again. “She's a sweet girl, quiet, good listener. She might be good for both of them while he heals.”

Madja just nodded. “Just remember that two grieving widowers will need a village to care for two newborns.”

The small cottage you lived in was quiet. You were leaned against the couch, sitting in the floor with your head laid back. Caring for your daughter alone was a chore, and you knew you should have been sleeping, but something was keeping you awake. 

A gentle knock in the door had you cringing, praying Morwenna wouldn't wake up. You moved to the door quickly, not noticing the shadow whisping around your feet and opening it to a desperate shadowsinger. “Az?” You moved for him to come in, stomach dropping at the sight of the babe in his arms. “Please tell me you being here with that sweet little thing doesn't mean what I think it does.”

Azriel just looked up, tears finally falling. “He hasn't ate yet,” your heart shattered at the unneeded confirmation. “Please, help us.”

You took the Illyrian babe instantly, taking your shirt off without question to offer him food. Azriel's shoulders fell in relief as his little cheeks began to move, a small hand and fingers reaching to your pinky. 

The two of you sat in heavy silence again. Azriel processing what had all happened that day, and you, aching for a male you hardly knew, and mourning the female that had become a close friend. 

You almost laughed at how cruel life could be. To lose your mate before childbirth, and then to lose your friend, the female who held your hand during labor, only a week later.

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho

@mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @daughterofthemoons-stuff

Rhys taglist:

@tothestarsandwhateverend @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @avajustreads

Pieces of You Taglist:

@dr4g0ngirl

[ataliagold]

I Want Ours To Be An Endless Song

For @astrangersummer week 12 prompt 'not-date.' Title from Love Like Ghosts by Lord Huron.

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Rating: T

W/C: 1245

Tags: Post Series 4, Everyone Lives, Eddie's in love with Steve, Steve loves him back but Eddie's a bit oblivious, fluff, first date, summer, picnic, first kiss, getting together

Summary: Eddie's been trying for months to keep his feelings for Steve in check. But unbeknownst to Eddie, Steve's taken him on a date.

___

It’s not a date, Eddie reminds himself for about the hundredth time that afternoon.

It’s just that the others must’ve cancelled, he figures. Robin and Nancy, because they definitely would’ve been asked too, maybe even Jonathan and Argyle, but it’s summer, people have other plans, the others just…must not have been available.

He tells himself this firmly as he follows Steve on the little path through the woods to the edge of Lover’s Lake.

As Steve sets up the picnic blanket, Eddie repeats it to himself again. And while he puts the little basket down, while he pulls out baked goods and small sandwiches with the crusts cut off Eddie chews on his bottom lip and digs his nails into his palms because Steve’s so fucking perfect and Eddie would love more than anything for the two of them to be something more, for this picnic to be something other than just an outing of friends…

But Steve isn’t his, and this is not a date.

“Want a beer?” Steve asks, blinking up at Eddie.

“Uh…yeah,” Eddie wills himself to speak, to unfreeze, to act fucking normal.

He lowers himself onto the blanket next to Steve, looks out across the lake. It’s a hot day, barely a breeze to shift the muggy air around, and the lake is still and clear as glass. Eddie sneaks glances at Steve as he rifles around in the basket for the beers he’d stashed there earlier. Steve’s in a tank top and stupidly short shorts, and he’s all golden skin kissed with moles and cheeks slightly reddened from long days spent in the sun and Eddie wants to reach out and touch…

He swallows thickly instead. Takes the beer Steve’s holding out to him, sips at it, then again to give his mouth something to do so he doesn’t say something stupid…

“S’nice here, huh?” Steve comments, taking the lid off one of his containers and offering it to Eddie.

Eddie reaches in, pulls out a cookie, no doubt carefully baked by Steve the day before.

Why did he have to be so perfect?

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, clearing his throat. He flaps a hand towards the water. “Certainly nicer than when we were last here.”

Steve chuckles lightly, nods. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t have to – they all know they’re remembering that time in the dark, in the cold; slimy tentacles and black depths and a gaping gate to hell.

They’ve come to the opposite side of the lake today, Eddie notices. As far away from…that spot as they can be. And everything looks different from this angle, like if he squinted they could be somewhere else entirely.

That had no doubt been intentional on Steve’s part, he supposes.

They eat in silence for a short time, until Eddie can’t bear it anymore – he never was very good at keeping his mouth shut.

“A shame Buckley and the others couldn’t make it,” he says through a mouthful of bread.

Steve frowns, a flicker of confusion passing over his face. “Huh?”

“Buckley,” Eddie repeats, swallowing before he was quite ready to, wincing as the food hurt his throat going down. “And Nance, Jonathan and Argyle…were they busy or something? They would’ve liked this.”

Steve’s frown deepens. “I dunno, I didn’t…I didn’t ask them.”

What?

Eddie falters. Stutters around his sentence a bit. “You didn’t? I – I just…well, I thought…you and Robin do everything together and Nancy often tags along with her now and so I just figured you would’ve asked them at least, too.”

Steve’s brow unknits. He puts down his beer, turns to Eddie, sunlight dancing in his eyes.

Eddie’s heart thumps at the sight.

“Eds…I wanted to come here with you. Just you.”

“Why?” Eddie refuses to admit the way that word came out as a squeak.

Steve tilts his head, a small smile playing across his lips. “You don’t know?”

No, Eddie very much doesn’t, because he’s been refusing to let himself believe even for a moment that Steve is remotely interested in him for anything other than friendship because he’ll be let down, he’ll be so fucking disappointed when it turns out not to be true. So he’s been strict with himself, he’s told himself over and over that Steve doesn’t like him like that, has ignored the lingering looks from the other man and the soft touches to the back of his hand, to his shoulder, because Steve’s a touchy sort of guy, they don’t mean anything.

Eddie’s not in love with Steve Harrington, he’s told himself every single damn day for months now.

The truth is, he’d fallen ass over tit in love with the former King that fateful night in Reefer Rick’s boatshed.

“Eddie,” Steve continues softly, reaching cautiously for his hand, taking it gently.

Eddie lets him. Thinks he’d let this man do anything.

“I…I like you. All this -” Steve gestures around them, to the lake, to the picnic blanket, to the food he’d prepared, “ – you know this is…a date, right?”

Oh.

Oh.

“This is me trying to…woo you, or whatever, maybe it sounds stupid but I’ve only ever done this with girls and they always liked this sort of thing so I thought…well. Sorry. If it’s stupid. Or…” Steve waves a hand, drops his chin to his chest, cheeks flushed with something more than just the sun now. “We can go somewhere else, if you want. Or home. If you want to go home. I could drive you back -”

“No,” Eddie interrupts, perhaps a little too zealously because Steve snaps his mouth shut. “I didn’t…I didn’t know this was a date.”

Amusement dances across Steve’s face. “You didn’t think the picnic with just the two of us at Lover’s Lake of all places was a date?”

Eddie sniffs, because when it was put like that…

Steve laughs, shuffles closer to him. “Sorry, Eds. Maybe I should’ve just told you. I was nervous, ok?”

“You? Nervous? Because of a date?” Eddie splutters. “You’ve been on so many, you could like…tutor people on dating, and shit.” And that was…a little lame, but Eddie’s reeling here.

“But this is you,” Steve says quietly, and it’s so sincere that Eddie goes still, looks down at their joined hands. “It matters.”

Eddie breathes out. Looks up again, meets Steve’s eyes and goes warm all over because Steve’s gazing at him like he hung the moon or something.

He’d try, if Steve asked him to.

He let Steve bring a hand to his cheek. Let him guide him forward, until their noses brushed, until their lips pressed together, and then Eddie Munson was kissing Steve Harrington and stranger things had happened - the two of them were all too fucking aware of that, they were sitting on top of a nightmare realm for fuck’s sake.

But somehow the Upside Down had been easier for Eddie to wrap his head around than this.

Steve kisses him. Gently, with his hand tangled in Eddie’s curls, and Eddie thinks he could die here, on the shore of the lake that really had nearly killed them.

But then Steve’s pulling back a little, and Eddie remembers how to breathe, and he’s very much not dead, he’s alive and Steve’s smiling at him and Eddie feels like the luckiest man alive.

“You do that on every date, Stevie?” Eddie quips, but he’s panting a little, Steve having stolen the air from his lungs.

Steve grins. “Only the best ones.”

___

[rinsoap]

➣ includes : boyfriend!matsukawa issei. and lord this is sooo suggestive but it never crosses into actual smut, it's just.. kind of intense making out and hickeys. this is probably ooc but I DONT CARE! HE'S SEXY OOC!!!

note : for my love @angelkiyo bc she gave me some inspo n i luv her <333 i got totally off track from ur original idea about mattsun n makki eating crazy edibles so yeah ummmm......

"let me know if you like it" matsukawa issei grins at you, waiting for you to eat the cookie in your hand held above your head. you're splayed across his bed, head hanging off it, turned to face your boyfriend. he's close to you but sitting on his rug with his back leaning against his bed. his arms rest on his knees, head lazily lolling back, copying how you've turned to face him.

you inspect the chocolate chips warily. last time you and mattsun got baked, it had you talking to the frank ocean poster on his wall for an hour and then going completely silent, no talking, for the rest of the night. staring at the wall silently while you desperately tried to regain your composure had become a common occurence when getting high. mattsun suggested you should slow down on it, and you agreed. but recently, you had been incredibly stressed, and it had been a a month or two since you had given up weed. so when your boyfriend proposed a sesh to help ease your mind, you happily accepted. that didn't mean you weren't having at least some reservations.

"i know you've been greening out on the old shit," he takes a bite, "that's why i got a new plug. i haven't greened out yet, but i know you're low tolerence."

"you didn't have to do that, 'sei" your eyebrows raise, flattered that he would go to the trouble to do something as tedious as that.

"anything for you, pretty girl," he shrugs, and gives you a small kiss, pulling back with a lazy smile that was enough to make you feel out of it without even eating the cookie, "and i didn't really fuck with the other dude anyways, always getting my stuff late. this new guy has edibles which is so much better than having to bake it myself"

you gasp. "i thought you liked baking them with me!" you roll over onto your stomach, folding your arms to rest your chin on them, pouting. "aw baby, don't pout," he pokes your cheek, "y'know i like baking with you, we can just bake something normally." you try not to smile which only makes his grow wider. "now eat that quick i wanna go see a movie" he nods to the cookie still in your hand, and you take a bite, emphasizing each chew sarcastically. "okay but if i start tripping out trying to kiss frank ocean again it's your fault"

"i'll break you guys up, no problem. i can't have you kissing him"

"what? are you jealous?"

"yeah, of you. as soon as i break you guys up, it's my turn to kiss him. i'll defend his honour and everything"

"i can't believe you would choose frank ocean over me- you know what just... go grab your keys."

mattsun pulls into the drive-in movie, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on your thigh. you continue to demolish the burger in your hand, a big grin on your face to see the movie playing was jennifer's body. "i love this movie!!" you exclaim through bites as megan fox holds a lighter to her tongue. "yo slow down" matttsun laughs and grabs the fast food bag from your lap. that pulls your gaze away from the movie to him as you lick your fingers clean from sauce, then widen your smile. "thank you for the food, baby"

he doesn't know what it is, but that has him feeling some type of way. maybe it's the weed, or maybe it's the fact that you just look so good right now. tank top spaghetti strap lazily slipping off your shoulder and little shorts riding up your thighs, makeup marinated and lip liner almost entirely smeared off under the gloss. he wanted to kiss it completely off, he wanted to slide both straps off your shoulder, he wanted you.

his pupils dilate even more, and he leans over to kiss you. your initial surprise dissipates into comfort as you melt into his touch. you tuck a stray curl behind his ear at the same time his hand goes to rest on the back of your neck. "mm, what was that for?" you giggle when he pulls away. "you just had a lil somethin' on your lips. had to get it for you"

"you're so sweetttt," you're drawing out your words, feeling dizzy from his sudden kiss, "you're sooo good to me" he love how affectionate you can be with your word when high. you refocus on the movie with a content expression on your face.

"you're so cute. i just kissed you, that's all." he muses, and he breaks your attempted concentration on the movie with a kiss to your neck. as he sucks a purple mark into your soft flesh, your breath hitches. "issei..."

"you're so sensitive like this." you can feel his teasing smile against your skin, and you internally roll your eyes. as if he isn't equally sensitive. he doesn't try to hide it, a small groan leaving his lips when his hand returns to its place on your thigh and you grip his forearm. the noises you're making has him feeling lightheaded, and he can't get enough of you. "'sei please can't you see i'm trying to watch a movie?" you complain while you lean into his touch especially when his thumb rubs on your skin. your thighs close on his hand, and he smirks, still pressing small blooming bruises into your neck. "'m sorry baby, i just can't get enough of you"