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tlou-reid · 11 months ago

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Hiii! I absolutely love your writing and I was wondering if you could write something about Spencer reid and reader who have just started dating and they get into their first ever argument and it’s a bit angsty but cute(?) cause he gets all worried while reader is more experienced in the relationship department so she (or gn!reader, your choice) doesn’t worry as much cause she knows it doesn’t mean they’re over? And then he gets all pouty and clingy when they make up cause he hated being far from her sm🫶 I know its very specific and idk weird so its totally okay if you don’t wanna write it but I’d really appreciate it!!!

as an insecure certified lover girl i love this request and i am so sorry it took me so long to get to <3

spencer was not expecting you to leave. to argue, to complain, even to berate, but to leave? the thought the didn’t even cross his mind.

the argument had started over something stupid, probably like a teasing remark that had gone too far, or the fact that he had been nagging you about doing the dishes. he wasn’t sure. all that filled his mind now was the fact that you walked out the door and slammed it behind you. he wasn’t sure where you went to, or if you were coming back.

yet, he was frozen in place. his knees had begun to shake as tears started to well up in his eyes. for a genius, you are really fucking stupid, he thought. he couldn’t believe he blew things with you, already.

you two hadn’t officially been together long. only around 3 months, but had spent much more time together prior to that. he was truly falling for you, something he wasn’t expecting to do. he loved the way you laughed and the way you listened to him. he loved that you were always there to greet him with a wide smile and a tight hug when you he came back from cases. he loved being around you and he loved the positive energy you put out.

and he just ruined all of that over some stupid argument.

spencer was rarely one to be unsure. after all, he is a genius, so there wasn’t many things he didn’t know. but, standing alone in front of his apartment door, he was clueless. should he run after you? should he wait it out? should he start packing up all of the things you’ve left at his apartment over these three months? he didn’t know.

so, like with most things he didn’t know, he was going to research. sure, to the common person googling “what to do after a fight with your girlfriend” would be corny, maybe even a little dumb, but not to spencer. when he couldn’t figure stuff out, he found other sources that could. so that’s what he was trying to do now.

much to spencer’s dismay, he was met with a whole bunch of editorials. not a single academic paper, dissertation, or research project had been conducted on the topic. so, he took what he could get and began reading over the newest People Magazine article titled “steps to making your girlfriend happy after being a bad boyfriend”.

he wasn’t sure how long he’d been reading, or how many different pop culture magazine websites he’d accidentally signed up for on his old desktop by the time his phone rang. it startled him, but he moved quickly to get it, assuming it was hotch calling him to come in for a case.

his heart sped up but his stomach dropped when he saw your first name, with the little otter emoji next to it. you had picked it, spencer didn’t even know there was an otter emoji.

his thumb slid over the answer button as quickly as he could move it, but once he brought the phone up to his ear, spencer couldn’t find any words.

the line was silent for a minute. you weren’t sure if he was even breathing on the other side. you wanted to give yourself time to cool off, separate from spencer. his little remark about your poor cooking skills had gotten to you, and you didn’t want it to become a massive argument. you didn’t know that spencer had spiraled after you left.

“are you going to come over or what?” you couldn’t help but let the residual anger you were holding slip out. despite this, spencer’s breath caught in his throat. you heard him take a deep exhale before saying, “you want me to come over?”

the desperation in his voice was so apparent, it broke your heart. any anger you were holding onto, or any bitterness about the comment he made completely wiped away when you heard spencer’s voice. you guessed that he had probably been crying. you softened your tone, and spoke slowly as you answered him, “of course i want you to come over, spence. we don’t get to have two sleepovers in a row very often.”

spencer’s hand was shaking as he listened to your words. he thought for sure you were going to break up with him. all he said was, “i’m on my way.” before hanging up.

you shouldn’t have been surprised at spencer throwing himself in your arms when you opened the door for him. he always craved physical touch, despite his fear of germs. he knew you and he cherished you, and all he wanted was to be close to you.

your hand snaked around his back as he buried his head in your shoulder. you tried to pretend you couldn’t feel the tears escaping from him. he wasn’t sobbing, there was just other way for him to have the emotional release he needed than to allow his tears to fall. your hand rubbed lovingly over his back, letting him adjust to being back with you.

“i’m so sorry,” he muttered against you. his hands were balled up between you two and you could feel him nervously squeezing his fists tighter. “spencer, it’s okay,” you assured.

you pulled away from him, only to wipe his tears away and move his hair out of his face. despite his height, he looked so tiny and vulnerable. “i didn’t mean to upset you,” he whined. “it’s okay,” you repeated, grabbing his hand to move him to the sofa.

you sat across from him, but he stared at the floor. “i thought you were breaking up with me,” he muttered. his voice was quiet and gentle. you couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. “why would i do that?” you moved closer to him, tucking his hair behind his ear to get him to look at you. “i-i don’t know! you just left and you were angry and i thought you weren’t coming back,” tears were filling up his eyes again as he finally met your gaze.

“spence,” you cooed, “couples fight and sometimes they need space. a little argument like that is nothing. we’re okay,” you promised him. he nodded, then reached out to pull you into his chest. “i don’t like when you storm out like that,” he said. “‘m sorry,” you mumbled against him. he just nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

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vi-as-in-violet · 1 month ago

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i think the main feeling i have about this season so far is that i crave to see MORE, but not in a good way. i love the themes this season is working with, i love the conflicts, i love the characters but it feels like i don't see enough of the story playing out and it leaves me feeling like something is missing.

I wanted to SEE and experience the underground resistance growing, i wanted to actually see how Jinx became a symbol and how that united the underground. I wanted to see the process of it and how it affected her! I feel like the writers really should've gone with the traditional show-don't-tell rule here instead of just showing us the aftermath which left me with exactly zero emotions about such crazy impressive and important events. The entire Underground got united (!!!!) but we saw zero of the unification process and got like two scenes before they were all arrested, released and then the entire revolution idea was completely forgotten and not addressed once in the rest of the act (as far as I recall).

Jinx was clearly struggling with the newfound worship, so much so she went into HIDING. how must've she felt knowing that so many people find hope in her when she sees herself as a literal jinx? how did she deal with becoming people's hope instead of their curse? I wanted to see her work through this so bad since that is what Arcane has always been good at, it's what season one did so well - it walked you through the emotions and motives and therefore, the conclusion to personal plot lines felt SATISFYING and left massive impression. this was completely missing for me this act for most plot lines

Same goes for pitfighter!Vi and her descent into self-destructive hell. We don't get to see the emotional fall out of her being fucking punched and left lying on the ground by the only person she thought she had left - we just got a montage showing the aftermath of her spiraling. which is cool but it left me with feeling pretty much nothing about it all because seeing the conclusion to her struggling without the build-up just fell flat for me. i was looking forward this specific internal conflict of the protector archetype with nothing left to protect and therefore completely losing themselves before finding their purpose again SO much and it ended up being completely brushed over. i wanted to be able to pick Vi's thoughts apart when she was at her lowest point in life since her time in the jail and see how her behaviour and relationship with people/alcohol/violence changes in the process. like later in act 2 when she punches Isha, she doesn't even react (holy shit?). that is SO far from the Vi we saw in act 1 of this season and it feels super out of character because we did not actually get to SEE her behaviour and priorities changing - we can obviously figure out the reason and understand why she ended up this way but since we weren't actually shown how it happened, it still initially felt like it came out of nowhere and majorly ooc for the character we've known so far

and don't even let me start with Cait and her dictator arc. I was getting ready for the emotional fall out and internal conflict and the political powerplay with Embessa but we got SO LITTLE of it. i could go on and on about this but i feel like a lot of people might agree her dictator arc was pretty underdeveloped so I am not going to discuss it further (plus the immediate switch when she met Vi again was just ??? because we can't really see how she feels about this entire thing with the exception of her thinking Embessa is too brutal and that it seems to be weighting on her. PLUS she has at least a situationship with that sunshine enforcer and even tho she is clearly mentally elsewhere, we have no reason to think she is still pinning after Vi?).

I'm not even going to address Jayce because What.

On a positive note, I think Victor's arc has been handled pretty damn well. But aside from that, this season just leaves me craving more and it is quite clear to me the writers absolutely did not have enough time (nine episodes is not a lot) to develop the story they wanted to portray in full.

Now, I watched the latest three episodes while on a plane and since the act is so plot heavy, i might have totally missed or misunderstood something, lemme know if that is the case

i am super interested in how's everyone feeling about this so feel free to add your thoughts!!!

#arcane #now don't get me wrong #despite this long ass rant #i am still having a good time and there's a lot i like about it #but especially after act 2 #the pacing and lack of personal focus is getting to me a bit #arcane spoilers #arcane season 2 #caitlyn kiramman #vi #jinx #powder #discussion #critical #i guess?#arcane critical

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magical-reid · 25 days ago

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Ricochet

Pairing: Bucky x Fem! Reader

Slow Burn/ Enemies to Lovers

Word Count: 1.4K

Reader’s POV

The elevator ride to the top of Avengers Tower was too quiet, too long, and too nerve-wracking. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this—I was supposed to be excited, grateful even. Joining the Avengers was a big deal. The deal.

But all I could think about was the man waiting on the other side of the shiny metal doors.

Bucky Barnes.

The Winter Soldier, they used to call him. The Ghost. The most terrifying assassin in history. Now, they called him an Avenger. A hero. A man trying to rebuild his life, just like me.

Except, he hated me.

The elevator dinged, interrupting my downward spiral. I adjusted the strap of my duffel bag, straightened my back, and stepped into the common area.

It was bustling. Clint Barton was leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee. Wanda Maximoff was cross-legged on the couch, nose deep in a book. Sam Wilson was half-shouting something about a sparring session.

And then, there he was.

Leaning against the far wall, arms crossed, piercing blue eyes narrowed in a look that could melt steel. Bucky Barnes.

Bucky’s POV

I saw her before she even got off the elevator.

The new recruit—great. Another kid with a chip on their shoulder and something to prove. Fury had said she was talented, promising even. But Fury said a lot of things, and I wasn’t buying it.

Especially since she was Hydra-trained.

I crossed my arms tighter, keeping my mouth shut as the others greeted her. My stomach churned as I watched her, trying to read her body language. She stood tall, confident, but there was a flicker of hesitation in her eyes. Good. She should be nervous.

“You’re the new girl, huh?” Sam said, clapping her on the shoulder like they were old friends.

“Yeah,” she replied, glancing my way for half a second before looking back at Sam. “I guess I am.”

Her voice was steady, but I caught the slight clench of her jaw. She knew who I was, knew what I thought about her being here.

“Welcome to the Tower,” Sam said, oblivious. “What’s your specialty?”

“Close combat,” she said. “And infiltration.”

“Great,” I muttered under my breath, just loud enough for her to hear. Her head snapped toward me, eyes narrowing.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what it sounds like,” I said, pushing off the wall. “You’ve got ‘infiltration’ written all over you.”

Reader’s POV

It took every ounce of restraint not to throw my duffel bag at his head. He was testing me, pushing my buttons, and it was working.

“Okay,” Sam said, stepping between us with a strained smile. “Let’s just… ease into this. No need to kill each other yet.”

Yet.

The tension lingered, thick as smoke, as Bucky gave me one last icy look before brushing past me and disappearing down the hall.

What the hell had I gotten myself into?

Bucky’s POV

The new girl—Y/N. Fury had mentioned her name in passing—was trouble. I didn’t need Steve’s optimism or Sam’s over-the-top friendliness clouding my judgment. People didn’t just walk away from Hydra clean.

I knew that better than anyone.

She was going to slip up. Eventually, she’d prove me right.

The problem was, part of me almost didn’t want her to.

Two Weeks Later

Reader’s POV

I’d managed to avoid Bucky for the first couple of weeks, which was harder than it should have been considering we lived under the same roof. But there was no avoiding him in the field.

Our first mission as a team had gone sideways fast. Hydra—not that it was surprising—had set up a trap, and now half the team was scattered in the woods outside the compound while Bucky and I were stuck together.

“Stay close,” Bucky barked, his voice sharp enough to cut through the chaos.

“I know how to stay alive,” I snapped back, dodging behind a tree as bullets tore through the air.

“Yeah, but for how long?”

I didn’t answer. Instead, I slid my knife from its sheath, took a deep breath, and bolted toward the nearest Hydra soldier. The element of surprise worked in my favor. I took him down quickly and efficiently, just like I’d been trained.

But the second soldier saw me coming.

“Damn it,” I muttered, raising my blade, but before I could strike, a blur of black and silver tackled the guy to the ground.

Bucky.

He stood over the unconscious soldier, shaking his head. “You’re reckless.”

“I’m fine,” I bit out, wiping blood from my cheek.

“For now.”

“Why do you even care?”

His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him as more soldiers approached.

“Stay behind me,” he growled.

I wanted to argue, but something in his tone made me listen.

Bucky’s POV

She was going to get herself killed.

I didn’t trust her—not even a little—but I didn’t want her blood on my hands. She was brash, stubborn, and reckless, but she wasn’t incompetent. That’s what made it worse.

Because if she wasn’t Hydra anymore, if she really had turned her back on them, she didn’t deserve to die like this.

“Bucky, behind you!”

Her voice snapped me back to reality just in time to block the incoming blow. The Hydra soldier hit hard, but I hit harder. I turned and delivered a swift kick to his chest, sending him flying into a tree.

When I turned back to Y/N, she was watching me, something unreadable in her eyes.

“You okay?” I asked, the words slipping out before I could stop them.

She nodded, lips pressed into a thin line.

“Good,” I muttered. “Let’s keep moving.”

Later

Reader’s POV

By the time we made it back to the jet, I was running on adrenaline and pure spite. Bucky hadn’t let up the entire mission, barking orders and criticizing every move I made.

But he’d also saved my life. Twice.

“You’re lucky I was there,” he said as the jet doors closed behind us.

I rounded on him, eyes blazing. “You’re lucky I didn’t stab you.”

Clint, sitting in the pilot’s seat, let out a low whistle. “This is gonna be fun.”

Bucky ignored him, his focus entirely on me. “You want to survive out there? Start listening to people who know what they’re doing.”

“I know what I’m doing,” I snapped.

“Do you?” He stepped closer, his voice dropping to a dangerous growl. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re trying to get yourself killed.”

“Better than hiding behind everyone else.”

His jaw clenched, and for a moment, I thought he might actually yell. Instead, he turned and stormed toward the back of the jet.

Bucky’s POV

She was infuriating.

She didn’t know when to quit, when to listen, when to shut up. But damn it, she had fire.

I hated that I noticed it. Hated the way my heart skipped when she called me out, the way my mind replayed her voice when I was alone.

I hated the way she looked at me, like she was daring me to prove her wrong.

But most of all, I hated the thought of something happening to her.

Weeks Turn to Months

The missions kept coming, and so did the tension. Every time we worked together, sparks flew—anger, frustration, heat. But somewhere along the line, the edges softened.

It started small: a hesitant “good job” after a successful mission, a shared smirk when Tony made a particularly bad joke.

And then, one night, everything changed.

Reader’s POV

The training room was quiet, save for the rhythmic sound of fists hitting the punching bag. I’d come down to clear my head, but I wasn’t alone.

Bucky was there, shirtless and focused, his metal arm gleaming under the fluorescent lights.

I froze in the doorway, my heart doing something stupid in my chest.

“Gonna stand there all night?” he asked without looking up.

I scowled, stepping into the room. “Didn’t know you owned the place.”

He smirked, the faintest hint of amusement flickering in his eyes. “You here to train or to sulk?”

“Both,” I admitted, grabbing a pair of gloves.

We worked in silence for a while, the air thick with unspoken tension. It wasn’t until I landed a particularly satisfying hit on the bag that he finally spoke

Part 2

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jaggedamethyst · 5 days ago

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because i love the golden boy girlies…here’s a bit i wrote originally but decided against for part 3. (where reader first sees jayce with mel and gets jealous)

💫

The sound of two sets of footsteps approaching immediately made you search for a place to hide. Had it been only Jayce, you’d endure it. Two sets of judging eyes, however, absolutely not.

You quickly made your way to a storage cabinet far from the entrance. You remembered Jayce saying something about reorganizing and that this particular one would now house some other nerd materials. It was just your luck that it was completely empty and big enough for you to walk right into and stand in.

You let the door remain cracked a bit, observing the pair. There was a woman, with Jayce, undoubtedly beautiful.

The distance of the cabinet made it hard to hear, save for some encouragement from the woman. When she rubbed Jayce’s shoulder, though, kissing him on the cheek, was when you’d lost all resolve. It started to feel all too familiar.

You watched as he followed her body leaving the room, his posture changing after a few seconds.

He went for the door, his back toward you. “She’s gone.”

You weren’t shocked he figured out you were here.

“It’s not at my workbench, if you're looking for that.”

You stayed silent and still.

“Just come with me okay?”

He slipped out of the door. By the time you’d crossed the room he was gone. There were only so many places he’d go from here. The route to his room was one you knew like the back of your hand. You made your way there as fast as you could without running, tears were dangerously close to escaping you.

The sight of him waiting for you when you rounded the corner made you stop in your tracks. It was dimly lit, as always. Books were in every inch of the space, a clear result of his continued pursuit of knowledge. There was clutter everywhere, but you were used to it.

You glanced between him and the room, suddenly feeling the weight of this. The time apart. Him with that woman. It was too much.

He saw you spiraling, this wasn’t like your usual reserved self at all.

“I’m sorry.”

You head shook, not believing him. You couldn’t.

He persisted, closing the gap between you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. If I could take it back I would.”

You didn’t care about that. He was so dumb. This was so dumb. You…felt so dumb.

“She kissed you.”

“What?”

“Who was that woman? What was that?”

He ran a hand over his face, “Mel. Her name’s Mel.”

“You like her?”

He hadn’t expected you to be this straightforward. The silence that filled the room was enough to make you crumble instantly.

The tears finally came, “I knew it.”

“I- I’m confused, okay? She’s been here when you’re not. She’s consistent.”

“Are you with her…I mean…were you?” The question was the closest you could get your mouth and brain to asking if they’d slept together. You didn’t want to know, truly. You just couldn’t go on if they had.

“Are you serious?”

“I don’t know-“

“Do you really think so little of me?”

“But-“

“Yes, Mel’s present. She’s here. She encourages me.” He contemplates his next sentence in detail. As a man of science he could only assume things based on evidence. He knew that in looking back at your past responses to him, you’d likely run from him—pull away. In some instances, though, variables result in differing results. He wouldn’t let you get away again.

“She gives me attention…but she’s not you.”

“Shut up.”

“Stop. Stop telling me to shut up. You shut up!”

That shocked you, “Jayce!”

“No! We have done this for so long and you never shut up and listen to me. I am standing in front of you…in fact,” he pushed you to sit on the edge of his bed. He knelt to the floor to meet you at eye level. “I am literally on my knees telling you…that I am here…with you.”

You looked at him, surveying the man once again trying his hardest to mend what was broken in you. It wasn’t enough.

“I’m not here for this,” you wiped your tears. “I just don’t wanna be disrespected by you being with someone else.”

Jayce inched away a bit, clearly taken aback. This was what you did, push him away. At any chance you got you’d relented.

“Fine,” he moved to take off his jacket. “This is what you want right?” His pants came off next. “You want me here, for you, and getting nothing in return. I can do that. I’m used to it right?”

#jaggedamethyst #jayce talis #angst #arcane jayce #jayce talis x reader #jayce talis x you #arcane #arcane x reader #jayce x reader #jayce talis arcane

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iamsuckateverythingtobehonest · 1 year ago

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Between The Wall

Pairing: Sagau!Aether x Reader

Summary: Aether finds solace in the voice, he once hated and now loves.

!Warning!: First Time Writing, might be bad!

Part 2/3

"—Argh...! Stop it, Aether!" you scream in frustration, putting down your phone on the bed with an annoyed face.

it's been a few weeks since you started to play Genshin Impact after being tempted by your schoolmate to download the game. They already told you the gist of what you should know before starting the game itself.

But, they never mention about this game has the main character a self-aware implement into their character.

At first you notice the way Aether's face scrunched up in discomfort after the prologue. It makes you creep out but then you remember that your schoolmate has told you about a few of their self-aware elements, though they just told you about their reaction when you cancel their movements by jumping.

You assumed that your schoolmate probably wants you to experience it by yourself which is nice but a head up would be great too.

"Gacha game? more like a horror game." you snicker as you continue to play on your phone.

As time goes on, Aether's 'behavior' becomes worse. From making a lot of negative responses to you controlling him, now he even tries to defy your control over him by doing the opposite of what you want from him from time to time.

"Aether, you little shit! Stop swimming in a circle and go back to the shore repeatedly!" you shook your phone like crazy, and there was a small smile curled on Aether's face making your anger flame harder.

"T-this game is shit!"

While anger consumes you, you log out from the game.

You sigh leaning back to your gaming chair as you spin around on it before standing up, moving to your door, and walking down the stairs to grab some water.

because of this problem is the reason why you are slowly about to snap and quit this game.

You arrive at the kitchen, open the fridge, grab a small bottle of water, and quickly drink it up.

While doing so, you heard a rapid clicking on a keyboard coming from your sibling's room. A curious look on your face before you slowly walk to their and casually open the door by the knob.

There you see, your sibling screams while her finger moves steadily on the keyboard before slapping her hand on her table in frustration once she loses.

"GODDAMN IT!" Your sibling shouted, it looked like she had died fighting in the Spiral Abyss, no wonder.

"Calm down," you shook your head, walking inside to stand by your sibling. "You will wake Mom up from her sleep at this rate."

They turns to you, "Oh, you, sorry," she slowly calms herself down and sighs.

"This level just gets my shit up to a hundred, who told Hoyoverse that this is fine, all I wanted was the Primogem." They grumbles.

You softly rub her back with a small smile, "It's still many days left until the limited banner is gone, I am sure you will get em."

They put down their headphones, "Talk about it, what AR are you now?"

"Well, it's, I think...AR 23 or more..." You thought absentmindedly.

"That's quick," your sibling mused, "How is your experience so far as a beginner?"

"Well it's fun, I love the world-building, the colour, the gameplay, and the Ui..." You trailed, listing what you liked about the game until an irritated look appeared on your face that made your sibling perk at it. "Except for Aether!"

Your sibling flinched at your outburst before she raised a confused eyebrow at you, "Aether? The traveler?"

"Yes!" You grip your hand into a fist while seething in anger. "I don't know why they implanted such a feature, Like every time I try to play, he gotta need to defy my game control, it's creepy! He used to follow me but now he keeps making ugly faces at me like excuse me!"

"I really, really hate him!"

You keep rambling about your frustration with the traveler which leaves your sibling gaping.

"I don't think they have that..." Your sibling uttered out.

"Well, I did! And it needs to stop!"

"Do you contact Hoyo Customer Service? Is it probably a bug?" Your sibling suggested.

"I did but they never replied." You said crossing your arms.

"They probably will get back to you, one of these days since I am sure they have many people to attend to." Your sibling reassured.

"I hope so,"

Your sibling then chuckles, "But I don't think you would hate him for so long."

You frown with an eyebrow raised, "Why so?"

"They're gonna be a certain quest when you reach AR 28 or above which gives more lore about him." She elaborates.

"I don't think I would." You squint your eyes.

"Well the fact you still using the Traveler despite the bug he has, say so." She snickers, "Just give him a chance, hate the bug instead of him."

You scratch your cheeks and sigh, "We will see."

You decided to give the game, a second chance.

"Aether, don't you think...you being too mean to the Creator?" She whispered scratching her cheeks floating, looking down on Aether crouching down inside the bushes.

They currently watching over a couple of boars walking with Aether having his sword in his grip.

Aether glances at Paimon before smiling, "Well, it's not that bad, it's a small price for them to control my body." He turns his attention back to the boars.

Paimon deadpanned, "What a lie! You just did that so they left early!"

He doesn't respond and just quickly dashes out from the bushes and thrusts his sword onto one of the boar, quickly he pulls back the other sword and slashes the boar sprinting toward him.

Quickly he used his Anemo ability to pull back the almost-escaping boars and slashed them in one go.

Blood splatter on his face, outfit, hair and his swords.

"Ah," he wiped the blood on his cheeks with his thumbs, "I need to get better at dodging the blood-splattered," He said out loud.

Aether suddenly flinched and turned his body to see another boar is running up to him.

"Hi-ya!" Paimon shouted, hitting the boars with a rock on the forehead. "Don't you dare to attack Aether!"

Aether blinked and smiled, "Thanks for the help, Paimon."

Paimon perks up and throws away the rock somewhere else, "Hehe, you're welcome~ praise me more~" she giggles happily.

"Now calm down," Aether chuckled.

Aether then gets to work after cleaning himself with a towel to cut the boar meat, one by one.

After that was done, Aether decided to sit down to open his notebook, and start writing some alphabet and spelling again.

Paimon sits down beside the Traveler, watching the letter he wrote with knowing looks.

"Is that the Creator's language?" She asked, quietly after watching her surrounding.

Aether nodded, "Yeah, I managed to decipher some of it."

"Oh! What is it? Let me see!" Paikon excitedly asked and leaned over to look at it.

Paimon curiosity slowly turned into a horrified look, "Did the Creator say that?"

"Yeah," Aether said amused at Paimon's reaction, "surprising huh?"

"There is a lot of cursing! Outrageous mean word!" She blinks rapidly, "The Creator has very interesting wording..."

"Most of the curse directed at me, I am not surprised." He smirked.

Paimon looks at Aether's face still has a smile and a fond look on his face. "You like them?"

Aether stops writing, "Huh?" He turns to Paimon.

"The Creator! Do you finally like them?" She excitedly asked.

"No!" Aether quickly stood up and took a step back, "Ain't no way! I just tolerate the Creator better than before!"

Aether is very obviously in denial with his cheeks adorned with pink blush, averting his eyes.

It's very true that Aether slowly but surely started to understand the creator, whether their language and their intention choosing him as a vessel.

The first word he managed to decipher is 'love' from the Creator's language, it's when Aether has fallen from the Statue Of Seven that the Creator for some reason controlled him to do so.

He had a fatal injury caused by that, and while he was whimpering in pain, he heard the Creator change of tone.

Aether's eyes widened, and he looked up at the sky, the creator rambled a lot but he could hear the concern and care for him which gave him goosebumps

"...Aether!$%-#&#!"

Aether perks up again when he hears his name between the rambling and his eyes widen more.

"...Aether&%$%...love#%#&#-!"

His lips parted when he understood the word, Aether's cheeks burned red and his eyes turned hazy.

He doesn't realize what happening to him but Aether for sure has stopped functioning at this time.

Aether shook his head from his flashback and continued to scribble some more. His ear is red as his scribbling becomes faster but much to his chagrin, the scene keeps playing in his head.

Paimon, who watching at his side had a small smile adorning her face. 'Aether surely has grown to like the Creator and that's good.

Both of them will stuck together until they reach their intended goal, they are both important to me, so please help each other."

Paimon hands intertwined. together to prayer, eyes closed with her forehead leaning to her clasped hands.

Until it's snapped open, Paimon turned her head with a frown. 'Who?'

She scanned the surroundings when she sensed something wrong again. 'Behind that tree." Paimon narrows her eyes.

She was about to move and check it out but suddenly Aether stood up which gained Paimon attention back to him.

"Aether? Why are you standing?" She called moving to him, "Where are we going?"

She tilted her head when Aether didn't answer her which was odd until she moved in front of him.

There she sees Aether standing still with his eye twitching in irritation. 'Ah, the Creator is back.'

Paimon smiles sympathetically at Aether.

Aether's body then quickly moved in a sprint which made Aether's eyes wide with Paimon followed in tow.

As they move away, neither Aether nor Paimon didn't realizes that someone is watching them from afar behind a tree, the arrow they grip in their hands is put away.

The unknown eye glints with mysterious light, "The Creator..." They breathe.

You are lying down on the bed, empty and in pain.

There are tears stained under your eyes, your eyes are red from crying so hard for a long time. Akin to a person on the brink of death gate and barely gripping onto life.

"i can't believe it." you hiccup, "Lumine, why are you doing this?! Reunite with your brother, come on!" you shout in frustration, kicking your feet into the air.

You just recently finish the 'We will be reunited' quest and it broke you down from the inside hard. You are mad at Lumine but at the same you try to understand her but what actually fueled to your anger against her is Aether.

After the quest, Aether's face have trail of tears and hurt plastered that you didn't have a heart to do anything that often making you in verge of crying. Often you have started to not using Aether, in hope his expression will be better but it just become worse and you even begun to miss his smirk from before.

Everytime you try your best to help the boy even though it's probably a waste of time. After using him back again for daily mission, his face become focus like he try to pull his mind away from the events. It's like he try to move on, his expression look so real which should not be possible since Aether is a character game.

"I can't seem to leave him alone," You rub your eyes and slowly calming yourself down. Getting up from the bed you reach for your phone and open your messaging app.

After a back and forth messaging with your sibling and friend, you finally come to conclusion of what to do now.

You get back with soda and snack by your side as you open up Genshin Impact in your phone with a determined face.

"I can't believe that I am doing this for a game character that I hate..." you mutter as you sigh before focusing to the screen again.

"My money..."

"OUR MONEY!" Paimon scream, "Why are the Creator even use it to but a freaking expensive firework!!" she whined into her hand.

"We could use it to buy more Sticky Honey Roast!" She cried out, step onto the ground pr air repeatly.

Aether just sigh, "Well we can't do anything about it," he keep jogging forward to somewhere that even he doesn't know with the Creator controlling him. "We will gain it back in no time, so don't worry so much Paimon."

"Okay... but where are we even going?"

Aether narrow his eye as he climb up the boulder, "Hm...I don't know but this place seem familiar."

The more they walk and climb, the more familiar the surrounding area looks, Aether is now crouching down to set down the firework under a cliff before his body starts to sprint up up to the cliff where from there, he could see Mondstadt.

"Are the creators trying to light fireworks in the morning?" Paimon wonders out loud, "What the point? It's not even night!"

But then a miracle happened, the day quickly went back to nighttime time and both Aether and Paimon's eyes widened at the sight.

The sky that once had a sun on its landscape now has a moon and star decorating It.

At the right time, the fireworks shoot up into the air and burst into many colour.

"Wow...." Aether breathed out in awe.

"Aether..."

Aether suddenly glances at the sky when he hears the Creator speak his name. Each word the Creator utters makes his heart skip a beat, flushing red and his eye sparkling.

"....With this, I hope you will cheer up a little bit."

A trail of tears goes down his cheeks as the Creator's words end. He can't understand some of it but the way his heart thumping, he just knows for sure that.

Aether has fallen in forbidden love with the...

Creator.

#genshin sagau #genshin impact #genshin traveler #genshin x reader #self aware genshin #sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau aether #aether #aether x reader

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lueurjun · 1 year ago

Text

enemies to lovers with soobin.

soobin x reader! in which a single misunderstanding sparks years full of dislike on both ends—or so you assume. enemies to lovers but it’s mainly idiots to lovers really. soobin x reader. i am literally starting to run out of ideas and it’s now 7 am and i haven’t slept but we move — pls cut me some slack if this one is bad. i am in the trenches rn. it’s also really long, i got carried away … my bad

reading the title probably made you giggle

because how on earth could anyone have beef with choi soobin?

the 6ft tall human embodiment of the word cosy

well, the thing is, you don’t actually hate soobin

it’s okay to admit it if you do, it’s not like imma jump you or anything hehe 🔪😐

for legal reasons that was a joke

so now you’re probably all like ‘but soobin would never hate me! he’s too soobin to hate anyone’

and you’d be correct because he actually doesn’t hate you

id jump him too. let that lanky mf admit he hates you and watch how fast i gather the crew ( my crew is the ninja turtles )

somehow, the two of you started this whole fiasco of believing that you hated each other

this dated back to when the two of you were starting high school and ended up falling in with the same group of friends

everything was fine at first and there was no beef with you and soobin

until one fateful evening when the group decided to hang out at the park

squad goals if you ask me. friends that go down the slide together, stay together trust me 🤞

everything had been running smoothly

aside from the fact that beomgyu almost got stuck inside a swing

after his panic attack and yeonjun had stocked up his camera roll with videos of the incident, beomgyu managed to be freed

thank you to taehyun who managed to yank him out

lord and saviour taehyun. saving beomgyu’s since he was in nappies 💪

after the whole ordeal, you sat next to soobin to gossip about how idiotic your friends are

and neither of you had realized just how close you were sitting

until one of your friends so generously pointed it out

fucking little tell tale RAT

which of course sent the rest of the group into a spiral of hoots and hollers

that then lead to the shipping and ‘oh you guys would be so cute together!’ comments

and they wouldn’t be wrong because you and soobin were actually a lot alike

the two of you shared common interests and could talk for hours about nothing

he was easy to talk to and that’s one of the things you liked about him

so, perhaps you didn’t mind the comments

oooooh not you crushinnnnn 😏 y/n and soobin kissin in a tree- sorry

in contrast, soobin’s expression was far from pleased as his gaze flickered from the group to taehyun and then to you, who stood with your eyes focused on the ground sheepishly

“what? i don’t like them. like at all. we’d be hideous together.”

record scratch. moment ruined

of course, he hadn’t meant for it to sound so harsh

and he felt exceptionally bad when he saw your face fall

making matters worse, your friends quickly fell into an uncomfortable silence, the tension in the air so thick you could practically feel it

oh well done! gone and made it all awkward now

from then on, you kept your distance from him

you were hurt by how disgusted he seemed at the idea of dating you

i would literally die for you. bruno mars would catch a grenade for you? jump in front of a train? nah bitch. i’d let a thousand bullets shoot me just because you you asked me to. i’d even step on lego for you-BEAT THAT SOOBIN #imromantic #imbetterthanhim

of course, you didn’t hate him

you could never hate him because he’s damn near impossible to hate

but soobin was unaware, believing his comment had shifted your opinion of him

he wanted to apologize, but you made effort to avoid him at all costs

so, he gave up and just decided to let it be because he wasn’t going to harass you into accepting an apology

which meant he also started avoiding you

so naturally, you assumed he now hated you

both of you jumping to conclusions higher than fuckin snoop dogg at this point-

whenever the friend group would hang out, the two of you would keep your distance

if someone made a comment about said distance, the pair of you just shrugged it off and changed conversation

you kind of just started to co exist

and this went on for quite some time and by some time i mean… the rest of high school

it wasn’t until you were a year into college did the misunderstanding finally get revealed

yeonjun had arranged for a mini reunion since you all hadn’t had much time to hang out in your separate lives

sure, you saw each other a lot but it wasn’t nearly as frequent and the groupchat had kind of died down

the meeting spot just so happens to be the same park where soobin crushed your soul that night

and for a moment, you considered not going

ha pussayy……..i am so sorry

but something deep inside tugged at your heart, and a gentle whisper echoed in your mind, encouraging you to go

so you did

the catchup was nice, and the group reminisced on high school memories

one of them being when beomgyu got stuck in the swing

and that topic opened up a can of worms

“wasn’t that the night that y/n started despising soobin?”

kai had bluntly pointed out, laughing along with everyone else

except, you weren’t laughing

them: 🤣 you: 😐

“despising soobin? i never despised soobin?”

everyone looked at you as though you had grown three heads

because what? what do you mean you never despised him?

“yes you did? when he made that comment about the pair of you being hideous together? you two stopped talking after that…”

after taehyun’s statement, you turned to soobin who looked just as confused as everyone else

“i didn’t hate soobin… soobin hated me?”

you had never seen anyone laugh as hard as the boys in that moment

kai was almost purple

not him almost cosplaying violet beauregarde from charlie and the chocolate factory

with all of them unable to breathe from laughing so much, you prodded soobin for an explanation

“well… after i made that comment, you kinda stopped talking to me and when i was going to apologize, you avoided me so i assumed you hated me and thought it was best to leave you alone…”

oh.

okay.

so you spent your last moments in high school believing that he disliked you

and he didn’t?

mhm. that’s fine. okay. yeah.

beomgyu, who was finally calm enough to speak, pointed between you

“wait… so… you didn’t hate him?”

and you shook your head

“i was hurt at first and needed some time but i didn’t hate him? i could never. it was quite the opposite really”

yeonjun let out a low whistle.

“perhaps we should leave you guys to talk this out.”

beomgyu gasped. “no? absolutely not! it’s just getting good.”

someone get beomgyu some popcorn

he was hastily yanked away with the group, leaving you and soobin alone in the spot where the miscommunication first took place

you could still hear beomgyu’s cries of protest in the distance

it was silent between the two of you for a brief moment

neither of you really knew how to start

until finally, the curiosity overwhelmed you and the silence was broken

me and the silence are the same fr 😔

“why was the idea of dating me so repulsive to you?”

soobin was stunned by the bluntness of your question, his face conveying surprise.

“i-i really wasn’t.”

“then why did you act so disgusted?”

grill him bae! like he’s a steak! grill him!

soobin looks perplexed for a moment and then his phone dings

you almost can’t believe the audacity of this man as he pulls out his phone to check the text

and then, his shoulders slump and he slides the phone over to you which displays a notification from taehyun

‘tell them the truth, i don’t mind.’

huh?

“taehyun had a crush on you back then… he had confided in me and i didn’t want to upset him…”

taehyun had a crush on you?

not you collecting txt like infinity stones

your head was starting to pound

“why didn’t he ever tell me?”

soobin shrugged. “i think it was just a passing crush. he started liking someone else a couple months later.”

thinking back, there was a period of time where taehyun had acted different towards you

you had noticed his lingering gazes and ignored them, chalking them up as nothing significant

and suddenly, his silence during the teasing made a lot of sense

“so… you weren’t repulsed by me?”

soobin shook his head, now looking rather shy

“it was quite the opposite. i’ve always found you quite spectacular.”

spectacular 🤓

“i’m really sorry for avoiding you.”

“me too, and im especially sorry for acting repulsed by you… though if you’d let me, i’d love to make it up to you?”

soobin was timid, his shoulders hunching as the words nervously slipped out of his mouth

you cheeks burned, but you tried to rein in your hopefulness, the last thing you needed was another miscommunication

“how would you do that?”

“well, i’d love to take you on a date if you’d let me… and then many more after that if you’ll have me.”

his question strikes a chord deep within you, instantly soothing away the torment of the past and restoring a spirit of hope that maybe you could be something more

in that moment, the october breeze felt like a scorching wave of lava, scorching your skin

“i think i’d really like that.”

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thisblogisaboutabook · 8 months ago

Text

Wicked Felina (The Girl That I Love)

Part 2 - “Peter”

Azriel x Reader/Rhysand’s Sister - Angst

Visions of a past life plague Felina as she recovers from burnout. Rhys seeks answers. Azriel comforts his mate as past-trauma comes crashing down on her. A former lover tracks her down.

Part 1 - El Paso Series Masterlist Part 3 - Vampire

warnings: past trauma, panic attack, references to sex, elements involving death, blood drinking, violence

Forgive me, Peter. My lost fearless leader.

“Quit fidgeting, Y/N.” Mother whispers as she runs a brush through my tangled hair.

Father is in Windhaven this week and I’ve been free to roam the skies as I please, whenever mother turns a blind eye. The arts district is vibrant with life and so often my family carries me out kicking and screaming. Well, aside from my brother who hides his amusement behind a mask of irreverence. He knows I love the rainbow.

Of course, Rhys has been gone on courtly business for weeks and I am dying to see him. My brother, the one person who truly understands me. Well, as much as one’s older brother can understand their sister.

I miss him.

“Sorry, mother.” I sigh. “I’m just excited to see my brother tomorrow on our travels.”

A pause of the brush strokes gliding through my hair shoots worry through me. I grit my teeth, bracing for her next words. “What is it?” I inquire, turning to see Mother’s lovely face downcast before her warm gaze meets mine. “He’s been held up and cannot travel with us tomorrow.”

“Oh.” I sigh. Hurt running through me. It’s not his fault, he’s busy and a far more benevolent leader than our father is a ruler, though he plays the game quite well.

An hour later as I lay in bed my heart races, my thoughts spiraling into the places I do my best to forget. The males of this court always let me down. Oh the perils of being the second born heir, younger than those surrounding me, female, and never taken seriously.

The goddess of timing, once found us beguiling.

A note appears at my bedside.

“Night’s truest bloom, there is no starlight without you. Won’t you cast thy gaze upon my room? Xx, Peter”

I smile at the flirtatious note, biting my lip. “You know I can’t but think of me as you bask in sunlight while mother and I trudge through the Illyrian forests tomorrow. Rhys bailed.”

“I don’t like that you’re traveling alone. Shall I come escort you?”

I blush at the thought of walking arm-in-arm with him. Gods, I’m so totally enamored. How did it end up like this?

“You High Fae, so territorial.” I write back.

“You are partly High Fae yourself, my lady. In fact, I’m pretty sure you offered to kill the last female who got too close for your liking.”

My stomach turns. I would. The female’s a lech.

“Semantics. I’ll see you when I get back. Dream filthy dreams of me.” I press a kiss to the letter and send it off.

“Only the filthiest, my sweet Felina.”

She said she was trying. Peter, was she lying? My ribs get the feeling she did.

—————-

Felina

“Y/N?” A cautious voice stirs me from my dream. I wake to find myself in a very large bed, surrounded by luxurious blankets that likely cost twenty-fold the standard linens I’d become accustomed to - the ornate room around me more spacious than anywhere I could recall resting my head.

My body is sore, lethargic. I stretch my arms and - ouch - stiff as well.

“Take it, easy, okay? Your body was under a lot of stress.” I blink my bleary eyes to see Azriel’s concerned gaze fixed upon me.

My body feels weighed down from exhaustion but my heart, it feels heaviest of all - a feeling I’ve continued to carry since Azriel found me at the Inn. Shouldn’t I be happy to have a piece of my life in place? I have a mate - and from what I can recall, a damn good one as well.

I open my mouth to speak but his eyes go distant, a look I’m familiar with but trying to place.

An urgent knock intrudes upon the silence, a look of irritation crossing Azriel’s features before he mutters an apology to me. “He couldn’t wait for me to speak with you apparently.”

My gut clenches, dread overtaking it as the door opens. In walks a male with a face so familiar that my heart’s pace rushes. My brother, Rhys.

“Y/N.” He chokes out, love and longing written all over his beautiful face. “You’re home.”

The name. Y/N. So familiar and so foreign. I remember it now but Felina brings me comfort. “Felina, please call me Felina.” Pain flickers across his features before giving a subtle nod. “Okay, Felina.”

His eyes sparkle as tears form in his eyes. “How? How are you here? Where have you been?”

I reach a hand to touch his face, the scruff beneath itching my palm, his hand instantly finding it and leaning in. It feels so warm and familiar and yet, I yank my hand away like lightning. “I don’t know.” My breaths quicken. Flashes of centuries of lies and manipulation rush into my head and it’s all too much. I can’t process this. I can’t relive it.

My hands find my torso, wrapping myself tightly, I can’t catch my breath. The hot blur of tears fill my eyes as I screw them shut. “I’m sorry- I- I“ can’t finish the sentence as I heave, trying my best to even out my breathing and failing miserably. The inky feel of power seeps from my skin and I can’t process the male voices speaking beside me. My name; a cold, icy voice giving a command; a broken voice of night giving in to whatever was commanded as heavy footsteps pace away, and then -

Darkness. Warmth. A heartbeat in my ear. A brush of lips against my hair. Azriel.

I stay there, sobbing as the emotions crash into me like the surf to rocky shores. The pain doesn’t alleviate for what feels like an hour, the rhythm of my mate’s chest finally bringing me back to the present.

When my eyes open, Azriel is draped over me, wings cocooning protectively around my body, his heartbeat the steady constant in my ear. “I’ve got you.” He whispers. I give into his warmth and drift off again.

————————

Said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me.

Lovers in a field. Brushed hands at balls. Green eyes meeting violet. Shared smiles.

Words from the mouths of babes

Tears cried into a broad shoulder. Whispers of “It’s not fair”, drunken chants of “fuck the cauldron!”, late nights and long dances beside reflections of starlight.

Promises oceans deep

Young lovers questioning eternity, the forces of fate. Letters signed with pen names.

But never to keep

————————-

“Brother, you need to sleep.” Rhysand stressed into Azriel’s mind.

The stubborn bastard had refused to leave Y/N’s side for the days she’d been unconscious. A huge part of Rhys beamed at that. Who was he to question the bonds forged by fate? Was Azriel being his sister’s mate ideal? In a sense, no. As an older brother, he’d always felt protective over her. But Y/N had always gravitated to Azriel, even as a child his shadows could calm her when she was fussy, his patient demeanor had always been a soothing balm to her inquisitive mind. He’d listen carefully as she pondered the great mysteries of life out loud long after the rest of the family had tuned her out.

“I’m fine.” Azriel’s conscious growled in return.

He sure as hell didn’t sound it.

“Let me send darkness to soothe her, just long enough for you to eat and get some sun.”

A pause and then the mirthful reply of “Is it an order?”

Maintaining composure the High Lord replied, “Is it necessary for me to do so?”

Ten minutes later, Azriel appeared at the bottom of the stairs, the light of the foyer emphasizing his hallowed eyes and drained skin. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks.” Azriel muttered.

Rhys knew he sounded like a prick but it was true. “How about you go sun your wings in the garden?”

The energy of the room shifted as Azriel’s eyes rolled, caught between humor and bitterness as he reminded his brother for the fifth time that week of the current circumstances. “Despite your good intentions, you seem to forget that prolonged exposure to the sun is exactly what I do not need.”

“Shit! I am never going to get used to this.” Rhys placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. “Fine, sit. Amren brought a fresh blood supply this morning. She says it’s goat from Sevenda’s but she was in a mood, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the blood of whatever poor souls had the nerve to cross her path on the way here.”

Azriel wanted to grin at the attempted humor but didn’t have it in him. What a strange turn of the tables, Amren no longer the bloodthirsty one.

The males sat in silence, Azriel nursing the goblet of blood Nuala had kindly brought in to him. Soft footsteps padded into the space, a familiar floral scent wafting through the room, as Elain entered.

“Oh.” the middle Archeron sister gasped. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” She gave a wary smile, sad eyes falling on Azriel before flicking back to Rhys.

“Not interrupting, Elain. What do you have there?” Rhys glanced to a piece of paper in her clutched in her grasp. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she spoke too quickly, her pulse fluttering. “Writing secret love letters, Elain?”

She shook her head, glancing to Azriel once again. It grated Rhys to know the recent history, or whatever it was, that transpired between Azriel and Elain. With his sister being thrown into the mix now, he was battling that instinct to protect her at all costs.

Elain blushed a soft shade of pink, nearly matching that of her pastel dress. One hand grasping the delicate wrist of the opposite. “I’ve been writing to Lucien.”

“Ah, and how is dear Little Lucien?” Rhys raised an eyebrow, lip quirking upward.

“He’s fine.” Her words were clipped. “I have to go now. Cerridwen is waiting for me in the gardens. We’re planting a new variant of night-blooming jasmine.” She gave a nod and scurried from the room.

Azriel’s lips remained in a firm line as Rhys nursed the whiskey he’d poured himself.

Months ago, her words would have hurt, sliced like a dagger at Azriel’s own lack of a bond. Now, well, he still felt jaded toward Rhys for the solstice that he essentially banned him from pursuing a relationship with Elain. But- it worked for the best. There was nothing in this world he wanted more than his own mate, his Y/N, his Felina - as she insisted she be called.

Guilt tugged at him, he should be up with her, not downstairs. What if she needed him? What if she woke with a night terror and he wasn’t there?

“She’s fine, brother.” Rhys broke him from his thoughts. “Your shadows will alert you the moment she wakes, and I have darkness soothing her.”

Shaking his head, Azriel rested his face in his own palms as if he’d rub his face hard enough and all concerns would fade away.

Finally, he looked up. “How do you do it, Rhys? How do you stay away when there are so many questions that need answered?”

Sitting his glass down onto a coaster, Rhys leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. “I know she is in good hands. You brought her back to me. And I know, a mate can help her right now far more than an older brother.”

The thought warmed the icy chill that had settled into Azriel’s bones, he reveled in the moment before replying. “There’s so much we don’t know- So much we need to know.”

“You’re the spymaster, Az, and she’s your mate. I know you need answers. And gods, don’t think for a moment that I don’t want answers too. It takes every ounce of will not to just dive in to see what I can find, but…. It’s her story to tell. And, when I send my darkness to soother her, her shields, there’s something about them that my own darkness recoils from.”

Digesting the words, Azriel took another swig from his goblet. “I need to go back upstairs.”

Rhys only gave a knowing nod.

—————————

Love’s never lost when perspective is earned

Dreams shifted from young love and light to pain and darkness plague my sleep state with visions of bloodshed on pristine snow. Brutal hands of power-hungry males. Sharpened blades. A mother’s scream. Shredded wings falling to the earth.

Lost to the Lost Boys chapter of your life

And then, warm hands and a familiar face. Love and terror in emerald eyes. Strong arms carrying a broken body. Cries of “Please just hold on for me.”

A promise of “Stay right here. I’m getting help.” The back of a lupine creature running toward the distance.

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold on.

The effort of holding on is growing too hard. My head slumps as blood trickles from my wingless back. An unheard plea of “Peter!” falls from frozen lips.

Then there is darkness. Void. Impending death.

A cold, pale hand chills my skin. A cruel, beautiful face promises eternity. Unfamiliar arms drag me away and I do not fight.

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.

———————————

Azriel

Azriel had finally settled in beside a sleeping Felina, resisting the urge to take her in his arms and never let go.

His shadows alerted him to the breach in the wards first, shock running through him at the intrusion. Apparating to the entryway, he found Rhys at the front door, baring his teeth at the intruder, waves of night rolling off of him in a way that would send most running.

Icy rage shot through Azriel’s veins at the audacity of the male to show up at their door. The urge first, ask questions later pulling him toward the intruder. His lunged was interrupted by a sharp inhale behind him behind, diverting him from his war path.

His mate had walked down the stairs, her first time out of bed since arriving to the River House. Her slim form trembled, those otherworldly eyes swirling with emotions he couldn’t comprehend.

“Peter.” She whispered through rapid breaths. Azriel ran to her, bracing an arm around her back to steady her uneven footing as she climbed down the grand staircase.

The blonde male fell to his knees, his tears falling ricocheting off the marble floors.

Azriel has no time to ponder the incorrect name she’d used, focusing on her steps, observing the sight before him. He’d only ever seen the male solemn or filled with rage. Never this.

And Felina, there was no fear or hate in her eyes, no wariness, as she took in the male. No, the only emotion he could now read was one his heart wasn’t prepared to face.

So, Azriel watched as his mate’s eyes lined with tears, her slow steps increasing and filling with purpose as she reached the entryway, stepping out of his brace and flinging herself into the arms of the High Lord of the Spring Court.

—————————

Tamlin

Are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer?

He didn’t believe it when Lucien wrote to him sending word that Elain mentioned that Y/N was in Velaris. That she was alive. There was no way and getting his hopes up would kill him.

How many nights had he spent plagued by the memories of the day it all came crashing down? The ruination of a beautiful friendship, of a love forged from two kindred souls damned by fate, and the role he played in it.

They were both so jaded at an early age, he and Y/N. And for whatever reason he couldn’t fathom, the princess of night found the youngest heir of spring to be worthy of her presence. She was everything and he was just, a lost male. Everyone wanted her time but she wanted his, and so began the affair of sneaking off at parties, stolen kisses under starry nights, long rolls in soft grasses, love notes written with pen names.

He was Peter, the lost boy forced to grow up too soon - who wanted nothing more than a life of music and poetry but doomed to strengthen ties to Hybern, to be married off like seed stock to a mate that he hated, Hybern’s wicked general.

And Felina, feline, curious and sleek as a cat. She’d been heartbroken by a one-sided mating bond, by a mate who only saw her as the child she once was, a mate too busy pining over her cousin to notice the gem he had right in front of him.

They’d found comfort and peace with eachother, two young adults who could be whomever they wished in their stolen moments.

They were careful to avoid being caught. So careful, until the day he snuck off to watch as she traveled through the Illyrian forests with her mother, that instinct to protect those he cared for surfacing at such an early age. He thought he’d lost her forever. He’d tried so desperately to save her. By the time he returned with a healer, she had disappeared. To this day, Felina had been his greatest loss.

And moments ago when her cry called into his mind, “Peter!”. There was nothing that could hold him back from her, no wards too strong, no distance too far to winnow. There was only he and his need to see her for himself.

And now, here she was in his arms. Repeating over and over how sorry she was for not holding on, for not having faith that he’d return.

All he could choke out was, “Felina.”

We both did the best we could do, underneath the same moon in different galaxies.

—————————————

Tags:

General ACOTAR: @lilah-asteria

Series tag list: @saltedcoffeescotch @julesofvolterra @glittervame @nocasdatsgay

SPOILER FOR THIS STORY (in case you need to know who is end game) : click here

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aringofsalt · 5 months ago

Note

🖤 and bucktommy

🖤 - kissing while crying / goodbye kiss / desperation

made it angsty just for you 😂 (well. angsty for me anyway shhhhh)

One name.

Two syllables.

A common enough name, one the barista waiting impatiently behind the counter probably said five times a day or more; only a few short months ago it was one of the most special names in Buck’s life. But it couldn’t be him; Buck's Tommy was gone. He was halfway across the damn country by now at his fancy new job, not that Buck was bitter about it, he was being super mature about it actually—

“Order for Tommy?” The barista repeated, exasperated, and this time a very familiar set of shoulders came into view.

Buck watched, frozen in place, sure that he’d once again taken a bolt of lightning to the face and descended into bizarro coma world, but before he could get too far down that spiral, Tommy had turned around and headed in his direction. He glanced up at Buck, did a double take, then froze himself, the two of them deer in each other’s headlights.

“Uh, h-hey, Tommy,” Buck offered stiffly. “Are you meeting someone?”

“Hmm?”

“You have two cups,” Buck pointed out. Tommy smiled shyly, turning one of them to the side to show the little label marked off with—Buck’s usual order.

“I was actually hoping to surprise you before your shift. I, uh, wanted to tell you in person, but I decided not to take that job. I just—I wanted to stay. I wanted you. I had to iron things out with my boss and be absolutely sure I could back out before I told you, but they were already ready to offer me a pretty good retention deal, so—mmph!”

Buck wasn’t about to wait a single second longer before throwing himself at Tommy for the first time in months, busy coffee shop be damned. By some sort of miracle (or just Tommy’s reflexes), the cups stayed in his hands instead of hitting the floor, but he wrapped his arms around Buck as best he could anyway, holding him steady as he always did.

“Really?” Buck breathed, tears already pricking at the corners of his eyes and threatening to fall. “You’re really staying?”

“Sure am, baby,” Tommy said softly, arms tightening even more. “And I know it’s a lot to expect that you’d still want to—”

Tommy was right, all those months ago when he’d kissed Buck for the first time and turned his whole life upside down: kissing someone was an effective way to shut them up.

#911 #bucktommy #kinley #evan buckley #tommy kinard #bucktommy fic #911 fic #my fic #asked and answered

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dystopicjumpsuit · 6 months ago

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Hiatus announcement.

Hi friends. I've got some stuff I need to focus on in my personal life right now, and I'm not able to balance that with keeping up with Tumblr and Discord. I'll be taking a hiatus starting immediately. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but hopefully it won't be too long. If you have submitted a request for a fic, design, or artwork, please know I'll do my absolute best to fill it when I'm back, but for now, I need to be present in my real life.

I love you all, and I'll miss you, and I can't wait to come back! I'll put a few more details below the cut in case you're interested. CW for medical issues.

My partner has been unwell recently, and this week, we discovered that they have a blood clot in their leg. Further testing revealed they have a serious heart condition. Unfortunately, they also have a preexisting vascular condition that makes blood thinners risky, but their PCP went ahead and prescribed a three-month course of medication for the clot since it's an immediate issue. We are waiting to hear if insurance will cover the meds; apparently this prescription gets rejected by insurers frequently due to the cost. (Thinking about the fact that some analyst in a cubicle could decide that my partner's life is worth less than a three-month course of medication is making me feel absolutely sick.)

They have more appointments scheduled with a cardiologist and a vascular surgeon, so for now, we're just kind of stuck in limbo. Their PCP gave us a long list of, "If x happens, go to the emergency room immediately. If y happens, go to the emergency room immediately. If z happens - you guessed it - go to the emergency room immediately."

At this point, I'm still trying to come to terms with it. My partner just turned 44. We have an active lifestyle; we eat healthfully; we don't drink to excess. We just got fucked over by genetic risk factors.

The scariest part is that we wouldn't have found out about any of this if they hadn't gone to the doctor for a completely unrelated issue. I'm trying not to think about it too hard, or my imagination starts to send me into a spiral.

Please allow me to get sappy for a moment:

If you've read much of my work, you probably know my partner better than you might think, as they inspire a lot of my characterization, either directly or indirectly. If you enjoyed the way I wrote Waxer in "The Sixth Language" or Jesse in "In Which Jesse Gets What He Deserves," then you have a good idea of their personality. They are extraordinarily kind and patient, funny and sweet. They have been here for me consistently for twenty years, first as my friend, and later as my everything. They've held me when I cried, and they've made me laugh every single day since I met them. They know me better than anyone in the world, and I trust them with my soul.

They are the only person IRL who even knows that I write fanfiction, and they have read every single fic I've ever written. They've served as my guinea pig when I needed to work through the physical mechanics of a scene, and they've listened to me ramble for hours on end about plotting and characterization. They've supported and encouraged me in this and so many other areas, and now it's my turn to support them through this.

If you've read this far, I just want to say thank you for all the love, support, encouragement, and kindness you've given me over the past year. This fandom community has truly changed my life, and I am more grateful than words can communicate. I hope to see you all again very soon, hopefully with good news. But in the meantime, please know that I love you all.

May the Force be with you. 🩵

#life update #hiatus

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bloatedandalone04 · 1 year ago

Text

Wrapped Around Your Finger - Part 0.8

Series Masterlist | Original Fic

➪in which anakin spirals more and more and you debate on whether or not you’re truly happy with where your life is going.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.9k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

The flashing lights made Anakin’s head spin as he gripped the glass tightly in his hand.

He had no idea how much he had to drink tonight, but he knew it was well past his limit. Still, the more he drank the more free he felt.

Gone was the stress of not being able to write, gone was the constant ache he felt whenever he thought of you, gone were his worries.

He guessed he had Liz to thank for that since she had found this bar that looked a lot more like a club. She had heard of this place in Warsaw that was apparently pretty popular, and that turned out to be very true since Anakin could barely move with all the people around him.

He also had no idea what they were saying as they chatted and sang amongst themselves, and clearly Liz didn’t either as she shook her head at a guy who offered her something in a plastic bag. “I have no idea what you’re saying,” she yelled over the music as she took a small pill from him, making Anakin raise a brow in concern. “But I’ll have one.”

She smirked and placed the pill on her tongue, and it dissolved slowly as she winked at the man before patting him on the back and sending him on his way. She turned back to face Anakin with a grin as he eyed her cautiously. “Do you know that guy?” He asked and looked behind her as the man offered one of the pills to another girl.

“Nope,” she answered, stealing his drink from his hand while he was distracted and finishing it off for him.

He looked back at her and she rolled her eyes when he said, “Do you think it’s a good idea to take pills from random men at bars?”

“Who are you, my dad?” She laughed, taking his wrist in her hand. “Just because you don’t do drugs doesn’t mean you can judge those who do.”

Anakin followed her as she pulled him to the middle of the room, and he had to squeeze uncomfortably in between more than one intoxicated girl who ran her nails down his body on his way past. “I’m not judging,” he said. “Just want to make sure you’re being safe.”

She smirked up at him as she tried to wrap her arms around his shoulders. “I’m with you, aren’t I?” She asked, slurring her words and pushing herself up so her face was close to his. “I’m the safest I could be.”

“Okay,” he took her wrists in his hands and dropped her arms to her sides. “I think you’ve consumed more than enough tonight. Let’s just go.”

Liz pulled back when he tried to guide her towards the door, shaking her head like a kid even though she was nearing her thirties. “You go if you want to so badly,” she scoffed. “Call your little girlfriend and go to bed. I’m staying.”

He watched as she began dancing with the guy she got the pill from and sighed as he pulled out his phone to check the time.

2:43 AM.

Fuck, he was going to be exhausted during the band meeting tomorrow and he probably will only get an hour or two of sleep at the most if he left now, but he knew he couldn’t leave her alone this time. She was far too intoxicated and he would feel awful if something were to happen to her after he left.

So, with a huff, he pocketed his nearly dead phone and leaned against a pillar, keeping an eye on her for a few more hours after that. He ended up pretty much carrying her back to where the bus parked was at nearly six in the morning, his body aching and his eyes sore from lack of sleep.

He felt like he had been sleeping for five minutes when Vinny shook him awake and pointed towards the couch. “Morning, Anakin,” he greeted. “Why is Liz sleeping on our couch?”

Anakin groaned as he got out of his bunk and looked at the couch, too. “She got completely wasted last night,” he told Vinny. “I couldn’t get her to leave until, like, five in the morning and I let her sleep there since nothing else was open and she didn’t make any reservations at a hotel.”

Vinny nodded as he tucked his phone and wallet into his jean pockets. “Uh huh,” he muttered, heading towards the door. “Well, have fun dealing with her hangover.”

“Wait,” Anakin called after him, walking over to Vinny quickly despite his head begging him to stop moving right now. “Where are you going? I thought Helena said there was a band meeting today.”

Vinny shook his head and opened the bus door. “No? Pretty sure that was her way of getting you to talk to her without you thinking something is up,” he answered, stepping off the bus. “With that being said, if you don’t show up to that meeting, I’ll personally kick your ass.”

Then he was gone and Anakin was left holding his stomach as he felt nausea wash over him. He passed by Liz and headed for his bunk again, picking out black jeans and a hoodie he’s had since his first year of college before he dropped out to go on tour.

He felt around in the pockets of the jeans he wore last night and pulled out his phone, a deep sigh leaving his mouth when he saw that it was at 2%. He also saw that you had texted him, and he typed out a response as he walked by Liz again. He debated on whether or not he should wake her up, but decided not to as he left the bus.

She could sleep there for now until she was scheduled to take their pictures later tonight. And she could deal with her own hangover.

Princess: Hey..miss you. Can we call later today?

Miss you, too. Yeah, call me when you’re able to.

He sent it before pulling up the directions to the coffee shop Helena sent him.

Anakin barely made it there before his phone died, and as soon as he entered the shop and met Helena’s eye, it powered off. He shoved it into his pocket and sat down across from her at the table. “Hey, sorry, I had a hard time finding this place,” he said as he looked around the small shop.

Helena hummed as she brought her cup of coffee up to her mouth, pushing another one towards him with her free hand. “That’s alright,” she trailed off, sipping on her drink as she observed him with a raised brow before leaning forward. “Permission to be blunt, Anakin?”

Anakin laughed as he sipped his own drink, grimacing at the hot liquid before swallowing quickly. “Permission granted, like always,” he answered, setting the cup aside. “You know that.”

Helena gave him a tight lipped smile as she leaned back again. “You look like shit,” she stated, crossing her arms while still holding her coffee. “Like, awful. Anakin, you look bad.”

Anakin laughed unexpectedly and looked around again. He wasn’t sure what he thought she was going to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Uh…thanks for that, Hel. You sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself,”

When he met her eyes again, he could see the concern in them. “I’m serious, Anakin,” she said, much quieter now as her gaze flickered all over his face. “How much sleep have you been getting? You’ve got circles under your eyes, you’re hungover all the time, you’ve lost weight…I’m worried about you, Anakin.”

He shifted uncomfortably in the chair before leaning back and avoiding eye contact with his manager. He knew he wasn’t doing very well at the moment, but there wasn’t much he could do about some of her concerns.

He knew his sleep schedule would become fucked when he left you behind in London, and he gave her a warning about that in advance. The drinking and hangovers were on him, though, and he really didn’t have an excuse for that.

Still, he felt like he was being called out by one of his high school teachers, and he wasn’t the biggest fan of that feeling.

Helena sighed at his lack of response and set her drink aside as she thought over her next words. “Is it Y/n? I haven’t heard you talk about her much lately,” she cautiously asked.

Anakin looked over, glaring at her for a second before shaking his head. “No, it’s not Y/n. She’s doing great all by herself in London,” he bitterly answered, making Helena raise a brow.

“Okay…” She sat back again, knowing better than to push that topic any further because of his hostile answer. “How’s the song writing coming along?”

He laughed quietly at that one. “Amazing,” he said and watched as she perked up at that. Too bad he was about to ruin her brief moment of happiness. “I’ve written one whole sentence. Not a lyric, but a sentence.”

She raised both brows and pressed her lips together at that, nodding in a way that told him she was holding back. “Okay…um…alright,” she dropped her gaze and focused on the table, and Anakin felt bad about his inability to be a decent fucking guy nowadays. “Okay….as your manager, I’m responsible for you, so, I have to ask….what’s with all the partying? All the hangovers?”

Anakin gave her a look that begged her to just drop it, but she just gave him an unreadable expression. He sighed as he crossed his own arms. “I don’t know, I thought all musicians went out and partied in their prime,”

Helena nodded and grabbed her drink again. “Most do…but I see you’ve gotten pretty close with Elizabeth. What’s that all about?”

“I thought you wanted us to be nice to her,” he pointed out and Helena nodded again.

“I do want that, but you’ve been spending more and more time with her at all these bars and clubs,” she trailed off, shrugging afterwards. “Just worried about you, is all.”

Anakin slouches back and nods. “Well, I’m fine,” he mumbled, giving her a half-assed thumbs up as if it would help her believe his words. “Really. Just missing my other half, that’s it.”

Helena gave him a sad smile. “You sure that’s it?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “That’s it. I’m working on the song, I promise. It’s just taking longer than normal, but I’ll get it done.”

She nodded and sat up straighter. “Good to hear,”

He smiled back at her as he looked at the empty seats next to them in the booth. “So, why did you say this was a band meeting when you only wanted to talk to me?”

Helena gave him a pointed look, “Would you have actually shown up if I told you that I wanted to meet with you to call you out on your shit?”

Anakin let out a genuine laugh at that, running his hand through his messy hair as he shook his head. “No, probably not,”

“Before you all run out of here and get drunk or whatever it is that college students do on weekends nowadays, I have a little announcement,” Kenneth said just as you and the rest of the class started packing up. “There’s an orientation event happening this weekend. Just something to encourage first time students to put themselves out there, be creative..things like that.”

You shove your books in your bag as you stand up, never looking away from your instructor as his gaze flickers all around the room.

“After reading the assignments you’ve all submitted, I’ve decided I want one of you to tag along with me to the orientation, just as long as you’re not booked and busy for the weekend like I’m sure you all are,” he said, earning a few scattered laughs before he met your gaze. “Miss Y/l/n, I think you will learn a thing or two if you were to attend the orientation. If you are able to.”

Your face heats up as everyone looks at you, making you shift a bit and glance up at Evan, who didn’t look too happy but still did a decent job at hiding it. “Me?”

Kenneth nodded, “Yeah, you. I think spending a few hours with the young writers would do you well,”

You swallow harshly as you avoid eye contact with every single student that was looking at you. “Yeah, sure, I….sounds fun,”

“Great,” Kenneth nodded, standing up as well. “And don’t worry, there will be many other opportunities like this for everyone else. Have a good weekend, guys.”

Evan shook his head and shoved his notebook in his bag as he headed for the door, pausing when he realized that you weren’t following him. “Hey,” he called out to you, making you look over at him from where you stood by the table. “You coming?”

Holding up your index finger, you give him a shy and embarrassed smile. “One sec,” you answer before quickly walking over to Kenneth’s desk. “Hi, sorry, but are you sure I’m the right fit for this? There’s a lot of talent in this class.”

You look over at Evan, who just shakes his head again and leaves the room with everyone else. Kenneth looked down at you with a raised brow. “It’s just an orientation, Miss Y/l/n, not a showcase,” he said. “That happens much later.”

You nod and place your bag over your shoulder. “Right, okay, sorry. Thank you for, you know, picking me, I…I appreciate it,” you trail off. “Where is it happening? Will I need to wear something specific?”

Kenneth shook his head as he packed his own bag. “No, nothing specific. They’ll give you a name tag so people will know you’re part of the event, which is happening on campus,” he answered. “In the Quad.”

“The Quad, right,” you nod. “Time?”

“One in the afternoon,”

“Okay, great,” you say and back away from him, hoping Evan waited for you in the hall. You also hoped he wasn’t mad at you like you think he might be. “Thanks again.”

Kenneth gave you a nod. “See you tomorrow, Miss Y/l/n,”

“See you tomorrow,” you say back before leaving the classroom and meeting Evan’s eye as you enter the hallway. “Jesus.”

Evan laughs and it sounds a bit forced as you and he walk down the hall. “What? Upset that the instructors got a soft spot for you?”

His question caught you off guard and you stumble a bit as you near the exit. “He does not,” you scoff. “He said everyone will get an opportunity like this.”

Evan holds the door open for you. “Yeah, only because he had to,” he said, making you glare up at him for a few seconds. “Oh, come on, the man basically just said you’re the best in the class, he’s gotta keep the rest of our hopes up so we don’t drop out.”

You shake your head. “You and your threats to drop out,” you mutter, walking a few steps ahead of him. “I didn’t ask him to choose me, okay? It just happened.”

Evan stopped walking, making you stop as well and turn to face him. “And you agreed,”

“What was I supposed to do? Tell him no?” You raise your voice a bit before promptly shutting up and looking down. He was making you feel bad about being chosen by Kenneth, but you still didn’t want there to be tension between you and the only person you actually talk to in class. “There’s that reading assignment we got earlier today…do you want to work on it together? Maybe we can order in, too.”

Evan looked away and shook his head. “No, I think I’ll have an early night tonight,” he said as he began walking in the opposite direction.

“Ev,” you call out after him but he just continues walking.

“I’ll see you on Monday,” he said back and then he was halfway across the campus, leaving you all by yourself.

You curse under your breath, frustration seeping into you as you pull out your phone and click on Anakin’s contact. He was probably the only person in the whole world you wanted to talk to right now. “Hey, princess,” he greets you when the call connects.

“Hi, Ani,” you say as you begin walking again. “How are you?”

“Could be better,” he answered and you could hear him fidgeting with something in the background. “What about you? How was your day?”

You look back in the direction Evan took off in, but he was long gone now. “It was going well until about five minutes ago,” you say as you walk towards your dorm. “I accidentally pissed Evan off and now he’s all mad at me.”

“Why is he mad at you?” Even on the phone you could still hear the protectiveness in Anakin’s voice, and it provided you with the smallest amount of comfort.

“He thinks Kenneth has a soft spot for me since he asked me to go to this orientation thing with him this weekend,” you mumble and after saying it out loud, you were kind of starting to agree with Evan. “I don’t know, it’s just…I don’t know.”

Anakin scoffs. “Sounds like Evan is just jealous of you,”

You bite down on your lip and take out your keys. “He’s got nothing to be jealous of, though,”

“I think he does,” Anakin says and you raise a brow as you drop your bag onto your bed. “You’re clearly one of the best students there. You write better than all of them, and that’s pretty obvious by the feedback you’re getting. He’s probably just pissed you’re getting all the attention.”

He almost sounded annoyed, and if you didn’t know any better you’d say he was being petty. “You say that with such pride,” you say back.

The line goes quiet for a few seconds before he says in a monotone voice, “You know how proud of you I am,”

He says that, yet he wasn’t doing a very good job at showing it at all lately, but you didn’t want to call him out on it and have both him and Evan mad at you. “Yeah,” you trail off as you pull out your laptop. “Anyway, I miss your face. Can you video call me?”

“I can’t right now, baby, I’m heading to the venue soon,” he replied and you felt your heart deflate a bit.

“Oh, okay,” you mumble and sit down at your small desk. You open your laptop and pull up the word document you’ve been working on for a week or so now as you add, “Have a good show then, Ani. I love you.”

“I love you, too, princess,” he said back then ended the call.

You set your phone down with a sigh as you look around your empty room. Bailey had gone home for the weekend and Evan rejected your offer to hang out, and you were left to sit by yourself and forced to also have an early night.

The next day you make it to campus for twelve thirty and stand by Kenneth as the fresh out of high school graduates walk around the Quad. You smile at the possible new students and hand out the sheets you were given that have the programs listed on them, your mind far away from where your body currently is.

After a while of doing that, Kenneth turns to you with a small smile. “You doing okay?” He asked, making you look up at him. “You seem a bit quiet today.”

“Do I?” You ask back and look around the campus again. “I’m sorry, I’m just…I’m sorry.”

He laughs and takes the papers from you, setting them down on the table you were standing in front of before leaning against it. “That’s alright, Miss Y/l/n,”

You look over at him and cross your arms. “I have a first name, you know,” you joke, leaning against the table as well. “Why do you always call me by my last name?”

Kenneth shrugged as he smiled at one of the students. “Sounds more professional that way, doesn’t it?”

You also shrug as you look down at the grass. “Makes me feel old,”

“You are nowhere near being old,” he said and you laugh under your breath. “I just want to treat my students like the adults you all are. That doesn’t mean you’re old.”

Nodding, you gaze around at the teens who all seemed so excited to start the next chapter of their lives. You remembered when that was you, fresh out of high school with Anakin by your side as you tried to figure out what you wanted to do. Anakin had it all planned out, and it wasn’t long after that when he had managed to get himself a manager and secure a world tour at the age of twenty.

Your eyes burned as you tried not to reminisce about those times. “Yeah, I guess,”

Kenneth narrows his eyes at you and leans over a bit, “What’s going on with you, huh? What’s got you so quiet?”

You press your lips together and shrug, “I don’t know, I just…” you stutter and let out a frustrated sigh. “I guess I just feel left out…with my boyfriend. He’s out there living his life with some of the best guys I know by his side, and I….I’m just here. Alone.”

You weren’t sure why you were telling your instructor, out of all people, this, but you were quickly realizing that you needed an outlet. You needed someone to listen and needed a way to get your feelings out instead of bottling them up all the time.

You give him an embarrassed smile and look away, not wanting him to think that you were just some weak girl who can’t function without her boyfriend. “I’m sorry, you…you don’t need to know about all that,”

Kenneth shrugged. “I don’t mind being the person you vent to,” he said, surprising you a bit. “People think college is the worst time of their lives; you’re lonely, broke most of the time, stressed beyond belief. It shouldn’t be that way, at least I don’t think it should. And as for you, I think you’re doing great for someone who is supposedly alone. You have a really…real way with words, Miss Y/l/n. I think you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

You take in his words and realize that they’re probably the most supportive ones you’ve heard since you got here, and the fact that it was from your instructor and not your friends or boyfriend was a bit eye opening.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, feeling your confidence deflate a bit as you begin to question if you were doing the right thing at this point in your life.

“It’s okay,” he replied and stood up. “Come on, we have thirty graduates to inspire.”

You smile before following after him, still stuck in your own head about whether or not you are happy with how your life is going at the moment and also a bit worried that you had made a mistake.

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everlastingdreams · 14 days ago

Text

The Weeping Monk x Fem!Reader : Forged Of Fire Chapter 15

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Story Summary: Raised under the tiranny of your own family, and forced to steal to earn your keep, you struggle to survive. Born from a Fey mother, and a Manblood father who wanted only sons, you are forced to hide your Fey side. When you are ordered to steal from Father Carden by your half-brother, Cassian, your life spirals out of control and you find yourself at the mercy of the Weeping Monk. The life you knew changes drastically when Cassian betrays you in the cruelest of ways. A trade is made, a promise is broken, and a debt must be paid.

Chapter Title: Truth In The Face Of Liars

Notes: /

Warnings: Angst. Hurt. Trauma bonding. Intrafamily violence. Depression. Self-harm. Suicidal thoughts. Violence. Torture. Gore. Pining. Trauma. Self-Flagellation. Manipulation. Strong Language. Blood. Misogyny. PTSD. Spicy and smut parts. Slight redemption arc. Lima/Stockholm syndrom-ish. Childhood trauma.

Other warnings: Jealousy. Forced Marriage. Forbidden Love. Romance. Slow-burn Found Familly-ish. Comfort. Fluff. !SMUT and SPICE!

Word count of this fic: +250K

Chapter: 15/47

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Hours. It had been hours since they had taken you back to the Monk’s room. You noticed an increase of paladins walking up and down the hallway, which was strange because the Monk’s room was at the far end of it. They were guarding this room, and you had an inkling that it was not because they feared you would escape. What had been in that note that Father Carden had given to the Monk? Had Aldith threatened them?

You scribbled in your journal, wasting the ink on writing down a lot of your incoherent thoughts and dreams, too distracted to read in your mother’s journal instead. The sun had just gone down when you heard the door unlock, you shoved the journal under the pillow. The Monk stepped inside, locking the door behind him but leaving the key on the door.

He walked right over to where you were sitting. “I need to speak to you.”

That firm tone worried you. “About?”

The Monk took a stern stance. “The man who came to our monastery, who killed our men and took you away.”

You could already tell that you weren’t going to like this conversation. “What about him?”

“Did you tell me the truth about what happened that night?” he asked, arching a brow.

You hadn’t lied. “Yes.”

The Monk fired another question, “Have you ever met him before?”

Was this an interrogation?

“No.” You frowned at the questions, disliking the tone he had. “Why are you-”

He cut you off. “Did you feel threatened by him?”

You noted that he sounded quite wary of your answer, as if he didn’t trust you were telling the truth.

“He threatened my life!” you snapped. He opened his mouth to speak, but you rose to your feet. “What is this about?!”

He rolled his jaw, as if he was chewing on what he truly wanted to say.

You didn’t like the look of suspicion he was aiming at you. “Well?”

The reason for his behavior broke free from him, “You must have left quite an impression on him. He even brought a note to your former room for you, he wrote of how he would gladly aid you if you wanted to leave with him again.”

That tone. That cold tone he used as if he thought he was close to catching you in a lie. Like he was preparing to reprimand you as if you were one of the paladins under his command. But you were nothing like a paladin who would cower under that stern look.

“What?” you asked incredulous. “Do you believe I ran off willingly with a stranger who wanted to bring me to my father?!”

His stern demeanor began to falter. “You did say he would not bring you back to your father if you had a better offer to give-”

You cut him off. “You unbelievable boor! Are you accusing me of seducing that bastard?! I crawled out of a broken window to get away from him!”

He lost some confidence. “I am not accusing you. I am asking for-”

“Do you even hear yourself?!?” you scoffed loudly.

“I want to know why he would send you such a note.” he said.

How could you have known what that stranger was thinking?!?

“It is not my fault that he is thinking with his cock!” You didn’t care if half the monastery had heard you say it. “Do you think I opened my legs for him and made him promise to help me in return?!”

His eyes widened, he fixed them on the floor for a moment, visibly uncomfortable with the sort of matter you spoke of.

You only grew angrier at the silence. “Is that what you think I did after he tied me up and threw me into that carriage? After he threatened me, held a sword to my throat,…”

You stepped closer, stopping right in front of him. Refusing to accept that he could accuse you of lying and not look you in the eyes while doing it. He lost the confidence he had.

“Of course not.” He forced his eyes to the side, throat bopping, he could not look you in the eyes.

You shook your head. “I should not be so shocked. You spend your days around men who refer to me as the ‘Fey whore’.”

Finally his eyes snapped to your face, tone firm. “You are not!”

You snapped, “Than stop treating me like this!”

Silence dropped into the room. He had almost recoiled at the fury in your voice. The outburst had let your anger free, leaving only the hurt behind. How could he think you were lying about what happened?… Your eyes fell away from him. The Monk was surprised by your outburst, he cleared his throat and looked away for a moment. You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to contain the reawakening anger inside.

He tried to clear the air, “Father has ordered for more paladins to guard the monastery. He won’t get inside again.”

You rolled your eyes away, done with this conversation after he had shown doubt in what you had told him about that night and had acted like you had dishonored him. He spoke your name to draw your attention back.

Your tone was venomous. “You were there. You found me that night. Did it look like I was there by my own choice?!”

He tilted his head down, letting the scolding rain over him.

You grabbed your cloak to make your bed in the corner of the room, not even asking before you took the only pillow too. “Goodnight.”

It had been said so harsh that he’d have preferred a slap. Why had he let the note bother him so? Father had demanded that he questioned you, suspecting that this stranger may not have been a stranger to you at all.

“You can have the bed.” he tried.

Your answer was just as harsh, “Keep your bed.”

A polite form of telling him to go to hell.

“Are you hungry?” he tried again.

“No.” your mouth said. Your stomach disagreed.

The Monk headed to the door. “I will be back in a moment.”

Your glare followed him out the door.

~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~

As the Monk walked towards the kitchen, Father approached him.

“Well? Did you question her?” Father asked urgently.

Yes. And he regretted it dearly. He nearly feared facing you again.

He gave a shallow nod. “Yes, Father. She told me that she truly does not know the one who left the note.”

Father scratched his beard. “Do you believe she is telling the truth?”

“I do. She is innocent.”

After seeing your reaction, he had no doubt anymore.

“Good. We cannot risk losing her. Let no one steal her away.” Father pointed at him. “Feed her trust in you, my son.”

The Monk looked down at his boots.

His conscience had begun to twist his stomach. Father had put a task upon his shoulders, one he had obediently enacted. If only it was so simple, if only he had not grown so fond of your company

“Bring her to our side and we will win this war against evil.” Father placed a hand on the Monk’s shoulder. “Do what is necessary. Make me proud, my son.”

“Yes, Father.”

~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~

The Monk returned mere moments later with a bowl filled with cooked vegetables and some bread. You wanted to refuse, but it smelled so good that your stomach would have murdered you for it. You spooned a big heap of it in your mouth, sitting on the floor.

“Food won’t make me inclined to forgive you.” you chewed out.

“Are you certain?” It slipped out of him. You put the that bowl down immediately.

The wit left him at the sight of it.

A quiet sigh left you, you voiced your disappointment, “I have done nothing wrong to you. I have not lied about the stranger. An apology would be welcome.”

He saw the saddened look in your eyes and the apology came effortlessly now, “Forgive me. I should not have doubted your word. Father ordered me to question you, but I crossed the line.”

“Thank you.” you picked the bowl up and started eating again.

He folded his hands together behind his back to hide their restless state. “I never should have questioned you in such a manner. I was insolent and behaved appalling towards you.”

You did feel quite upset about it still. “Why were you so cold to me? I have not tried to flee, why treat me like I somehow betrayed you?”

“You have been loyal to me.” he quietly said. “It confounds me.”

You dared to ask it, “Do you believe it more possible for me to betray you, than for me to be your ally?”

His eyes told you that your guess was right. Was he truly not used to having someone that could be trusted?

Your eyes locked on his. “I cut my palm and smeared my blood into the forest so you could find me. I wouldn’t have done that if I had not wanted to return to you.”

That made him get very quiet, he didn’t know what to say for a moment. You quietly continued to eat.

He was cautious when asking, “Will you tell me, if you see him again?”

“Afraid I’ll throw myself into his arms and let him whisk me away from here after this?” you said while taking another bite.

He didn’t fall for it. “You don’t know what he wants with you.”

You looked up at him, brow arched. “Oh, I think I do. Remember, I did tell you he tried to lay with me.”

The Monk turned his head to face the wall, rolling his jaw.

You shrugged your shoulders. “At least here they don’t want me to return to my father. And once you’ve taught me well enough to defend myself, I could venture off on my own.”

He looked at you briefly, a glimpse of something you couldn’t place had flashed through his eyes. He send his eyes to the floor and got closer to where you were sitting. You didn’t expected it when he knelt right next to you and send him a curious look.

He spoke to you quietly. “You are safest here. Your father cannot claim you back, Father and I will make certain you are safe from him and anyone he might send for you.”

It had sounded as if he wanted to convince you to stay indefinitely…

You replied just as quiet, “I do not want my freedom to be kept from me forever, Lancelot.”

He understood, but it was not simple. “But freedom away from Father will be difficult to achieve, you must understand this.”

It felt so intimate to converse like this. “I cannot pretend forever. Not like you are trying to do.”

He took no offense to it. “Perhaps one day you will not have to pretend, perhaps you will find your place here after all.”

“Lancelot…” You shook your head slowly.

He gave a understanding nod, knowing better than to push the matter of you joining the mission again, but you got the feeling that he wasn’t looking forward to the moment you would leave. And as strange as it was, you were glad there was still one person in the world who seemed to want your company. He reached behind his sword, taking the scrunched up parchment from where he had stored it and handed it to you. You took another spoon of your meal and then put the bowl down to read the note.

~“My apologies for our encounter, dear. Aldith will not hear from me again, find the coin I was paid where we were together last. Should you wish to escape this room, and your uncaring husband, shred this parchment and shove the torn pieces under the door. Or scatter them in the monastery when you can, and I will come for you.

All my love. -Gareth”

“Gareth?” you uttered the name. “He’s foolishly brave to leave this for me to find.”

The Monk looked down at that note as if it had scorned him. He had read it over and over again. How this stranger had called him ‘uncaring’, how this ‘Gareth’ was eager to ‘help’.

You saw the tensing in the Monk’s form. “I really don’t know this man-”

“I believe you.” he said. “Just as I believe that this man may be determined to return here for you.” The Monk rose to his feet. “If he does, I will sink my sword into him.”

It was impossible not to notice how much it bothered him. Maybe he took offense to what this stranger had written about him. He rubbed his chin, then took of his cloak and dressed down to his undershirt before he sat down on his bed.

“How is Goliath?” you broke the tense silence.

His eyes calmed. “What you did for him, it helped. His leg is seems stronger again.”

You smiled, it was a relief to hear that the stallion was getting better. “And did the ointment help your back?”

He was not used to others being concerned about him. His eyes locked on your face. “It helped keep the scars from burning.”

“Good.” You ate the last bit of your meal so you could sleep after.

The Monk watched you eat in silence for a little while, then spoke, “It does not feel right to me to let you sleep on the floor.”

You chewed the last bit of food and put the bowl down and off to the side. “It’s fine.”

“It is not.” He brushed a hand over his mouth, shaking his head a little. Then he stood up from the bed. “The bed is yours.”

You were reluctant. “No. I’m fine on the floor.”

He voice was firm and filled with conviction. “No, you are not. You are telling me this only because you believe I consider having you here a burden. I don’t. As difficult as our situation is, I cannot pretend that I am alright with having the woman who was made my wife sleeping on the floor, I have my honor.”

You blinked up at him, stunned by it. “I -”

“Please.” he said, gesturing to the bed. “Take the bed.”

You didn’t have it in you to refuse again when hearing how pleading he sounded, how could someone like him even manage that? You got up from the floor and gave a nod. “Are you sure? But what about your back? It’s more comfortable for you to-”

He send you a look. “Concern yourself over your own back. I doubt that bruising will get better when sleeping on a hard wooden floor all the time.”

Alright… he wasn’t wrong to think that. Your back was aching again ever since being thrown in that carriage and feeling every dent in the ground that it had rode over. You picked up the empty bowl and walked towards the bed, but halted just as you were at his side, your hand curled around his bicep and gave it a squeeze. “You can be sweet when you’re not being an arrogant boor.”

He scoffed a little, but still had a timid smile at the compliment. You let go and claimed the bed for yourself, putting the bowl on the bedside table.

He plucked your cloak from the ground and put it neatly over the foot of the bed. “Sleep well.”

You crawled under the sheet. “Good night.”

The pillow was still in the corner of the room where you had left it, after a moment of hesitation he took it up from the floor and came to seat himself against the side of the bed. If you were to stretch your arm, you could have easily touched his shoulder. He looked at you for silent approval, you send a small smile back. He offered the pillow, you declined and he put it behind his head instead. It was strange to realize how comfortable you had grown around him, and how comfortable he seemed to be with your presence. He fell asleep so easily, a sign that he had grown to trust you. And it wasn’t hard to fall asleep yourself close to a person who may have a good heart after all.

~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~

A hard bang made you jolt awake. There was loud and heavy rapid knocking on the door. The Monk was up on his feet in an instant, grabbed his cloak and rushed to the door, he only opened it a few inches.

“There is a fire, Sir!” A paladin quickly said.

The Monk gave a nod, closed the door and came over to you. “Up.”

You did as asked and grabbed the journals, stashing them in your satchel to take along. He quickly handed you your cloak that you could barely put on before he dragged you out of the room.

He handed you over to a group of four paladins. “Guard her. Where is Father?”

A paladin answered, “He is outside the refectory, where the fire is.”

The Monk turned on his feet and made haste to the refectory.

After using one of their ropes to bind your hands, the group of paladins hurriedly walked with you through the hallways. They led you down a set of stairs and soon they were dragging you through the kitchens. When the paladin walking up front opened the door that led outside, it was slammed into his face hard. In the dark it was hard to see what was happening, you only saw a shadow figure enter the kitchen. The paladins who had held you by the arms released you and drew their weapons. A fight ensued and you were defenseless with your hands bound together. You sought cover under one of the two large heavy tables, hoping that it would grant you safety until you could escape the kitchen. The shouting around you quieted down quickly and the gurgling sound of dying men filled your ears. An arm shot out under the table and a scream crawled out your throat as the shadow figure pulled you from under the table by the arm. You jerked your elbow forward once they got you to your feet and struck them in the face.

“Gods-” the shadow said.

You were pinned to the wall not a moment later, your mouth covered by their hand.

“You’re feistier than I thought.” a familiar voice sounded.

The clouds moved in the sky outside and allowed the moonlight to fall through the windows and into the kitchen. You recognized who you were facing now, it was the Stranger who had returned. Blood was all over the floor from the paladins he had killed.

As you tried to scream, he began to hush you, “Please, don’t scream. I’m here to help you!”

You set your nails into the bare skin of his wrist but he didn’t move his hand away from your mouth.

The Stranger remained calm. “Shhh… shhh… listen for a moment, alright dear?”

You stopped struggling and stared at him.

He was relieved to see you calm down a bit. “My name is Gareth. And I do not mean you harm. I am a Knight of the Fey, or was…” he looked like it troubled him to not be certain of the fact. “I realized you must not have gotten my note when I saw no light come from your room through that small window. There was always some light visible in the evening from that lantern in the room when you were there. Now, I’m going to move my hand away, just don’t scream, alright?”

Slowly he moved his hand away from your mouth, watching your reaction with caution. You didn’t scream, but you did spit in his face. He wiped his face with his hand.

“There are more enjoyable ways to exchange spit.” he mumbled.

You were still staring at him. “You’re Fey?!?”

He admitted it. “Sky Folk.”

Now that he stood so close, you could indeed pick up the Fey scent if you concentrated enough.

“What do you want from me?” you asked coolly.

He was grinning. “I have come to ask if you want to leave this place. This is no place for Feys, everyone who lives here has murdered our people.”

“First you threaten to kill me and tell me that you were paid by my father to take me to Ravenwick, and now you are here to help me?” you scoffed.

Gareth explained his reason. “I have earned my coin by bloodying my hands, I won’t deny that. But until I was tasked to find you, I had never harmed anyone who was innocent. When Aldith called upon me, I wanted to know why Father Carden was so interested in you, so I accepted the task. The whole thing just sounded odd to me. My brother would never forgive me for harming one of our own.”

It was hard to believe that he wasn’t just a greedy sellsword. “I don’t know you, and I don’t trust you either.”

He was disappointed to hear it. “You think you know the ones who are keeping you here, you think you can trust them?” He shook his head. “I have spend a day here not long ago. The filth that they speak is even worse than I can stomach and that says something. You are very fortunate that the Weeping Monk is like a shadow to you.”

You didn’t like hearing that at all. “What are you talking about?”

He sighed a little. “Not all of them are very strict on the vow they are forced to take.” He saw your horrified reaction. “I can take you away from here.”

“Take me where?” You weren’t actually considering it.

“To my brother. He is gathering all the Fey he can find that are in trouble, you’ll be safe with him. He knows of a safe place.” He studied your face for a moment. “You don’t want to leave…”

Your eyes widened at his conclusion.

He was so confused by it. “Why would you choose to stay here?”

Your answer was short, “I don’t want to go with you.”

He let out a disappointed sigh. “I can tell.”

The door that led from the hallway into the kitchen was pushed open, it hit the wall from the force of it. Gareth had pulled you away from the wall and now held you close like a shield, his sword was at your throat.

The Monk entered the kitchen slowly, sword drawn and ready. “Unhand her.”

Gareth was eerily calm whilst he moved backwards with you towards the open door that led outside. “Be calm. You’ll get her back if you behave.”

The Monk’s eyes were ablaze with fury.

Gareth got closer to the door step by step. “How could you lock your own wife away? Is it because she is Fey, is that it?”

You shook your head discreetly, hoping it would calm the storm that was the Monk.

Gareth noticed it. “You are too good for that murdering scum. Don’t let him make you believe that he’s not the monster that he is, he’s Father Carden’s weapon. They took your freedom for a reason.”

The Monk’s grip tightened around his sword.

“Be careful, dear. When the wolf bares his teeth, it is always too late for it’s prey.” Gareth said, then proceeded to boldly kiss the side of your head.

It was done just to confuse and distract the Monk. Then he gave you a strong push that launched your body right into the Monk’s. The hard impact you expected never came, the Monk’s fast reflexes had caught you just in time to prevent a hard crash against him. He looked past your shoulder and saw that Gareth had already fled the place.

Father would be furious if he did not catch him.

The Monk quickly grabbed your arm and hurried with you out of the kitchen and called out to another group of paladins who were making their way to safety. “Guard her. The enemy is here. Do not let anyone else near her!”

He stormed away, leaving a bunch of startled paladins in his wake.

~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~

An hour had passed since the fire was discovered. Those who were not busy extinguishing the flames were waiting in and outside the stables for the rest of the smoke to clear out of the monastery. You were petting Goliath, who was all but amused that his sleep had been interrupted. It was still hours before dawn and you wondered if you would be up all night because of this. Father Carden was outside giving orders, the Monk was yet to return. This Stranger, Gareth, had created a chaos among the Red Paladins just to try and help you. A Knight of the Fey… you wondered if that was even true. And with how he had taunted the Monk, you knew that he would have to flee the land far to survive his wrath. Still, the things he had said remained in your thoughts.

~“When the wolf bares his teeth, it is always too late for his prey.”~

Had he considered the Monk to be the ‘wolf’ Or should you be concerned that they came in a pack… Goliath tilted his head towards the open stable doors, something had drawn his attention. You looked to where he was looking and could see how the Monk, already dismounted from the brown mare, walked over to Father Carden. A paladin rushed over and took the reins of the mare to lead her into the stables. Father Carden began to speak to the Monk, neither of them looked happy. The priest’s mood soured even more than it had been already. He turned and walked away from the Monk after pointing at him and talking louder, still you could not hear what was said. But you could see that the Monk wasn’t alright after what must have been a scolding, he looked so disappointed. After taking a moment to compose himself, he walked into the stables and came straight towards you.

“What-” you began.

He stopped you by shaking his head, then took you by the arm to guide you along and out of the stables.

“Return to your quarters.” he commanded those still in the stables and outside of it.

The smoke had been aired out of the monastery, it was fortunate that the refectory was on the other side of the building. There were a lot more paladins on guard than there had previously been. Not much later, you were back in his room, and the second he closed the door he took of his cloak. He said not a word to you as he dressed down until his chest was bare. His arm was covered in blood and you gasped at the sight. He went to the washbasin and quickly began to clean off the blood.

You hurried over to him. “I’ll help-”

“No.” he sounded firm. “I know what to do.”

You could tell that he was not in the mood to argue about this, but you stayed near just in case he would need some help. “What happened?”

He hated to recall the moment. “I chased him into the woods on horseback. I thought I had lost his tracks. But then he charged at me on horseback and attacked me, cut my arm with his sword. If I had not thrown myself off of the horse, he would have cut off my head instead.”

“Did you kill him?” you barely dared to ask.

He shook his head. “No. Not yet.” Then looked at you. “I’ll find him.” His expression changed suddenly. “Did he harm you?”

You shook your head. “No. He came for exactly the reason that he mentioned in the note. To get me away from here.”

It did not sit well with him at all how that bastard had been far too familiar with you. What if he had not found you when he did?

The Monk walked to the chest, opened it and searched it’s contents until he found the needle and thread at the bottom of it. It indeed appeared so that he was used to treating his injuries, he had threaded that needle ridiculously fast.

“You refused his offer?” he guessed.

“Of course I did. Just because he claims to be a knight, doesn’t mean he can be trusted.” you told him.

“A ‘Knight’?” he parroted right after wincing when he pulled the needle through his skin to close the cut.

“He said he was a Knight of the Fey. He wanted to bring me to his brother who-” You stopped, realizing what you were about to say.

The Monk noticed it immediately and looked at you with sharp eyes. “What of his brother?”

“He just said his brother would keep me safe.” You left out how this brother was gathering the Fey together in a safe place.

He looked you in the eyes, and you prayed he would not ask further. Then he blinked and continued the task of suturing his skin back together.

“If you continue like that, it won’t heal properly.” you winced at his lack of precision with the needle.

He held the needle out for you to take, no longer bothering to refuse the help. You quickly took the needle before he’d change his mind. You began to suture the wound shut, grimacing a little at the sight. He arched a brow when he saw your expression.

You bit your lip. “I only ever stitched myself back together. It’s strange doing it with someone else’s skin.”

He was looking down at your work. “You are doing well.”

“It helps that you’re not writhing around in pain.” you jested.

The Monk was silent for a moment, then quietly spoke. “He set fire to our refectory to distract us. I caught his scent through the smoke too late. I knew he would return, I should have been more careful.”

You pulled the needle through his skin one last time, “Did Father Carden blame you for this?”

“This was my fault.” he stated it in firm believe.

“How?” you asked.

He thought for a moment. “I should have been more alert.”

It was saddening to see how much fault he put on himself. “For goodness sake… you barely get any rest, it’s not a crime to sleep.”

You finished suturing the wound, put some of the ointment on it, and then went over to the washbasin to grab a rag to clean the blood off of your hands. “Seeing you and Father Carden together, reminds me of Cassian and I. Everything was fine as long as I did exactly what he wanted, but when things went wrong…”

The Monk was quiet, he walked over, stopping just in front of you. He took a clean rag from the table and wrapped it around his arm to cover the wound.

You scrapped your courage together. “I think I know now why I didn’t take the offer of that knight. I have started to carry a hope in me that you might one day desire to leave this life behind too. That you will have your freedom as I will have mine.”

It was a whisper leaving him, “I have my freedom.”

Your voice matched in volume. “If that were true, they would know what you are. You are hiding your nature to survive, to be accepted. Hiding is not freedom.”

“I belong here.” He didn’t even look at you when he said it.

You reached out and touched his arm lightly. “I disagree.”

When you turned away and started to walk towards the bed, the Monk’s hand shot out and his fingers quickly caught you by your jacket.

He stepped closer again, slowly pulling you towards him. “Tomorrow… I will teach you the sword again. And I’ll continue doing it until I am certain that you can defend yourself, this I swear to you.”

You blinked at him. He then walked to where he had put down the belts of his weapons and plucked a dagger off of it.

“Take this.” He handed the dagger to you. “If he ever returns, if anyone tries to harm you, put it in their chest.”

You were staring at the dagger in your hands, then blurted out, “Where am I supposed to hide this?”

It dawned on him that you had nothing to hide it in.

He reached down and moved your jacket open a little. “Hand me your jacket. I will find a way to store the dagger inside of it.”

You took the jacket off and handed it to him, already missing it’s warmth.

He put the jacket down next to his cloak, making sure he would remember.

There was one problem… “What if the paladins, or Father Carden, find that dagger on me?”

He was too determined to have you armed to see fault in his plan. “If they do, I will explain it to Father.” The Monk came closer once more, reaching out to touch the cord with the ring that still hanged around your neck, it must have moved from under your shirt with the chaos. “Hide this well.”

Quickly you hid the valuable jewelry under your shirt again.

“Your decision to not to go with the Fey Knight will please Father.” he sounded content. “I hope to convince him to reward you for it.”

You hadn’t made that decision to please the priest. “I want nothing of him. I didn’t stay for him.”

He was persuasive. “I know. But anything to make you more comfortable must be welcome?”

You hummed and went to sit down on the bed. “Like what?”

The Monk, stepped closer again, his boot nearly touched your own. You kicked off your boots and moved your legs under the sheet to lay down.

“What would you like?” He had tilted his head and watched you curiously.

You rested your head down on the bed and thought about it for a while, in the meantime he returned to the spot against the bed where he had been sleeping before the fire. It was impossible not to notice how day by day, the Monk looked more and more tired. No wonder, his sleep was interrupted so often. And when he did sleep, his dreams were often haunted and restless.

“Well?” He was waiting for your answer.

You studied the dagger, then put it down beside you. “Some clean clothes and a chance to bathe properly. Something to read, not the scriptures. A sword.”

“Father will not allow it.” he quickly refused.

The corner of your mouth curved up. “Fine. Just the sword then.”

The Monk looked at you past his shoulder, seeing the small grin you had. “I meant the sword.”

Now that you had the chance, you made your requests. “It would be lovely to have some more bedding, considering we have to share it between us. Another pillow, some warmer sheets…”

He was listening to your suggestions rather patiently. “That sounds agreeable-”

You dreamed on. “A second bed, so neither of us has to sleep on the floor. Maybe even a bigger room so the beds would fit better-”

The Monk spoke your name, the look he send was sadly discouraging.

“Fine. Just a chance to bathe then.” you gave in.

He gave a nod. “I will endeavour to fulfill at least one of your requests.”

The jest fell out of you again, “The sword?”

“What use would it be to you?” he fired back.

Your mouth fell agape at the blatant mockery of your lack of skill with a sword. “You rotten-”

He leaned a little to the side when you tried to smack the corner of the sheet against him. “Try to sleep. There is not much of the night left.”

“Alright…” you turned over to face the wall. “Try to sleep too.”

“I will.” he said quietly.

And he did try to sleep. But every few minutes he’d wake. Any noise that reached his ears cruelly tore him from his rest again. And the only dream that he was long enough asleep for was nothing short of a nightmare. The fire, his dead Brothers, and you gone, taken into the night. The only solace he had was when he was awake, when he knew you were still sleeping in his bed. God… what was he doing to himself?

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