#I AM TOO FAR GONE INTO THE SPIRAL.

[existence-rae]

WIP DANNY PHANTOM FANART CUZ IM ACTUALLY OBSESSED WTF??

[thesecondface]

the reward is so low but the risk is so high

[tlou-reid]

Hiii! I absolutely love your writing and I was wondering if you could write something about Spencer reid and reader who have just started dating and they get into their first ever argument and it’s a bit angsty but cute(?) cause he gets all worried while reader is more experienced in the relationship department so she (or gn!reader, your choice) doesn’t worry as much cause she knows it doesn’t mean they’re over? And then he gets all pouty and clingy when they make up cause he hated being far from her sm🫶 I know its very specific and idk weird so its totally okay if you don’t wanna write it but I’d really appreciate it!!!

as an insecure certified lover girl i love this request and i am so sorry it took me so long to get to <3

spencer was not expecting you to leave. to argue, to complain, even to berate, but to leave? the thought the didn’t even cross his mind.

the argument had started over something stupid, probably like a teasing remark that had gone too far, or the fact that he had been nagging you about doing the dishes. he wasn’t sure. all that filled his mind now was the fact that you walked out the door and slammed it behind you. he wasn’t sure where you went to, or if you were coming back.

yet, he was frozen in place. his knees had begun to shake as tears started to well up in his eyes. for a genius, you are really fucking stupid, he thought. he couldn’t believe he blew things with you, already.

you two hadn’t officially been together long. only around 3 months, but had spent much more time together prior to that. he was truly falling for you, something he wasn’t expecting to do. he loved the way you laughed and the way you listened to him. he loved that you were always there to greet him with a wide smile and a tight hug when you he came back from cases. he loved being around you and he loved the positive energy you put out.

and he just ruined all of that over some stupid argument.

spencer was rarely one to be unsure. after all, he is a genius, so there wasn’t many things he didn’t know. but, standing alone in front of his apartment door, he was clueless. should he run after you? should he wait it out? should he start packing up all of the things you’ve left at his apartment over these three months? he didn’t know.

so, like with most things he didn’t know, he was going to research. sure, to the common person googling “what to do after a fight with your girlfriend” would be corny, maybe even a little dumb, but not to spencer. when he couldn’t figure stuff out, he found other sources that could. so that’s what he was trying to do now.

much to spencer’s dismay, he was met with a whole bunch of editorials. not a single academic paper, dissertation, or research project had been conducted on the topic. so, he took what he could get and began reading over the newest People Magazine article titled “steps to making your girlfriend happy after being a bad boyfriend”.

he wasn’t sure how long he’d been reading, or how many different pop culture magazine websites he’d accidentally signed up for on his old desktop by the time his phone rang. it startled him, but he moved quickly to get it, assuming it was hotch calling him to come in for a case.

his heart sped up but his stomach dropped when he saw your first name, with the little otter emoji next to it. you had picked it, spencer didn’t even know there was an otter emoji.

his thumb slid over the answer button as quickly as he could move it, but once he brought the phone up to his ear, spencer couldn’t find any words.

the line was silent for a minute. you weren’t sure if he was even breathing on the other side. you wanted to give yourself time to cool off, separate from spencer. his little remark about your poor cooking skills had gotten to you, and you didn’t want it to become a massive argument. you didn’t know that spencer had spiraled after you left.

“are you going to come over or what?” you couldn’t help but let the residual anger you were holding slip out. despite this, spencer’s breath caught in his throat. you heard him take a deep exhale before saying, “you want me to come over?”

the desperation in his voice was so apparent, it broke your heart. any anger you were holding onto, or any bitterness about the comment he made completely wiped away when you heard spencer’s voice. you guessed that he had probably been crying. you softened your tone, and spoke slowly as you answered him, “of course i want you to come over, spence. we don’t get to have two sleepovers in a row very often.”

spencer’s hand was shaking as he listened to your words. he thought for sure you were going to break up with him. all he said was, “i’m on my way.” before hanging up.

you shouldn’t have been surprised at spencer throwing himself in your arms when you opened the door for him. he always craved physical touch, despite his fear of germs. he knew you and he cherished you, and all he wanted was to be close to you.

your hand snaked around his back as he buried his head in your shoulder. you tried to pretend you couldn’t feel the tears escaping from him. he wasn’t sobbing, there was just other way for him to have the emotional release he needed than to allow his tears to fall. your hand rubbed lovingly over his back, letting him adjust to being back with you.

“i’m so sorry,” he muttered against you. his hands were balled up between you two and you could feel him nervously squeezing his fists tighter. “spencer, it’s okay,” you assured.

you pulled away from him, only to wipe his tears away and move his hair out of his face. despite his height, he looked so tiny and vulnerable. “i didn’t mean to upset you,” he whined. “it’s okay,” you repeated, grabbing his hand to move him to the sofa.

you sat across from him, but he stared at the floor. “i thought you were breaking up with me,” he muttered. his voice was quiet and gentle. you couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. “why would i do that?” you moved closer to him, tucking his hair behind his ear to get him to look at you. “i-i don’t know! you just left and you were angry and i thought you weren’t coming back,” tears were filling up his eyes again as he finally met your gaze.

“spence,” you cooed, “couples fight and sometimes they need space. a little argument like that is nothing. we’re okay,” you promised him. he nodded, then reached out to pull you into his chest. “i don’t like when you storm out like that,” he said. “‘m sorry,” you mumbled against him. he just nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

[randombush3]

too sweet

alexia putellas x reader

it's based on the hozier song and i just got bored during my break

icl this might not make sense x

[...]

You aren’t sure how you ended up here. 

There was a path, there was a brick lane painted yellow and filled with singing and dancing, and, what? Did you spiral off it? Were you the hurricane, were you the destroyer? 

Maybe you are The Destroyed. 

It’s too late to think about it. 

Not because you are past repair, but because it really is late – later than usual. 

The door has been locked twice, meaning Alexia has given in and gone to bed. “Fuck,” you swear as your keys clatter to the floor, typical for you to be the one to break the peaceful silence. A rustle comes from the bedroom; a sigh, a muffled sob. “Ale?”

And it’s instinctive, the way you run to her. Once upon a time, that was all you ever did, back when you played, back when the path was good and smooth and clear.

Alexia doesn’t want to see you. She hates the smell of whiskey, she hates the gruffness of your voice. There comes a point where a person can no longer bear it. No matter how much love she wraps around you, weaving the thinning strings together to form a rope and begging you to let her pull you up from this, there comes a point where Alexia, perhaps blinded too much by her love, is destroying herself just so that you don’t go down alone. 

She’s tired. 

When you arrive at the bedroom door, she has turned over, the duvet slightly too cold and the bed slightly too empty. “Ale, are you awake?” you ask, drunken foolishness clouding your sense as the lump under the covers does not respond, does not feel she can. “Baby?” 

The bed doesn’t look inviting, and you feel unwelcome. 

You roll your shoulders back. 

“Alexia, don’t pretend.” 

The silence is haunting and you try to escape it as soon as possible, letting out a viscous laugh, directing it towards her back. The noise slashes welts in her skin, your tongue a whip, you her mistress and she, your slave. Alexia closes her eyes.

An alarm rings through the apartment. The sun is not quite up, so it would be dark if you hadn’t been staring at the soft glow of the lamp beside the TV for the past hour. 

The screen isn’t on. 

You don’t quite feel escaping this life just yet. 

“Bon dia.” Soft feet pad into the kitchen, face washed, training kit pulled on. Her nose wrinkles as the bitterness of coffee hurtles towards her, and she doesn’t make an effort to conceal her frown at the empty bottle of whiskey on the floor beside you. “Are you planning to get some rest?” 

“Are you making coffee?”

“I read a study that says it negatively affects performance.” 

“Are you making me a coffee?” you amend with a smirk, sitting up and staring her down. Through the redness of your eyes shines what first attracted her to you, the devilish spark, the clearly set out intention of doing something stupid. 

She watches you haul yourself up, staggering towards her. Your hands are cold and clammy, but their grip on her waist feels just as good as it always does. She leans back into you. 

“The sun’s not up yet but Alexia Putellas is ready to train,” you murmur into her ear, kissing the skin of her neck as though to soothe where the dig must have sliced her. “No journalist tracks your morning routine, baby. You could’ve stayed in bed a bit longer, let yourself wake up later. Don’t you ever wanna?” 

Her body relaxes, choosing to hear your voice but not what you are saying. She lets herself fall into the pit you rot in; your most frequent visitor. “I am drunk on life,” she replies with a forgiving smile. 

You step back, Alexia stumbling with you, having been leaning on your body. 

“I’m not drunk.” It is far from a new lie. “Have fun at training,” you grit out. She sees the back of you as you lurch towards the bedroom door. Her tears try to fall, but she wipes her face with her knuckles and collects herself before she heads out into the real world. Her home feels like a dungeon, but one that is not meant for her. 

The girls undergo the usual ritual of asking after you. Your retirement was forced, but they all saw it coming. 

You were not sculpted from the same heroic marble, withstanding heat and terror. Nothing about you fit into training regimes and early mornings, sweetened energy drinks on promotion, discipline and determination. You got by on talent, rough and raw, and listening to your beloved prison warden on occasion. 

If Alexia is the Greek hero, you were, perhaps, the weapon she used. Deadly, yes. Sought-after. But, if dropped, clattering towards the ground lifelessly. 

She crouches down to pick you up, but your metal burns so hot that she is not sure she can touch you. 

When Alexia comes home, you are asleep. She opens the windows, self-consciously airing out the stench of alcohol before a few of her teammates come over for dinner, and she cleans the stickiness from the worktops. She lights a candle. She wishes it were an altar, a conduit to her saviour, and she prays, for a moment, that this will end soon. 

When she opens her eyes, she realises the only saviour she has been thinking of has been you. 

She crawls into the bed beside you. 

You stir at the feeling of fingers combing through your hair. 

Alexia is as bright as the morning sun, blazing above Barcelona. She is untouchable. 

The distance that has grown between you has grown because she is the zenith and you are the nadir. It is just too far to overcome. 

You are real. You suffer, you cry, you poison yourself and enjoy it. You like how you live, you like how free you are. 

Alexia’s gentle rousing – but rousing, nonetheless – sends you tumbling past your limit. 

This is not how she wants you to be, but you cannot be something you are not. 

“You’re too sweet for me.” 

She hears the rejection, but she shakes her head. 

“No, no,” she whispers desperately, pleading for it to not mean what it does, begging you to swallow it back inside. “No, I’m not. Remember?” 

She means her ACL, she means the venomous arguments and the early days where you’d watch her carefully as she inhaled your second-hand smoke. She means now, where she lets you live the way you do because she understands how life works and she gets it, she does, and she really only just wants you to be happy. 

You blink slowly. “Ale.” 

“No, I’m… I’m just still playing! I have to take my career seriously, but, but, the off-season! You know how I am in the off-season?” 

“Baby, you don’t give yourself an off-season.” 

“I can!” she vows. “I can, and we’ll go on holiday with the girls, and we’ll wake up dark as lakes and you can make me smell like a fucking bonfire, if you’d like.” 

“Ale…” 

“Please,” she asks. 

You wish you could go along with the farce. In all honesty, you’re a bit surprised that is has lasted up to now. 

You cannot do this anymore. Maybe one day, when she is done playing and training and conforming to the intense regimes the club upholds them to, you will come back to her. Maybe one day, she will have sat in the barrel long enough to have soured, bitter, now, and much more palatable. 

But you are certain about the present, about the woman lying beside you with tears running down her cheeks. You decide that if you were to taste the liquid, what is supposed to be salty would be sweet, and, with that, you have convinced yourself. 

“Alexia, baby, you’re too sweet for me.” 

[iamsuckateverythingtobehonest]

Between The Wall

Pairing: Sagau!Aether x Reader

Summary: Aether finds solace in the voice, he once hated and now loves.

!Warning!: First Time Writing, might be bad!

Part 2/3

"—Argh...! Stop it, Aether!" you scream in frustration, putting down your phone on the bed with an annoyed face.

it's been a few weeks since you started to play Genshin Impact after being tempted by your schoolmate to download the game. They already told you the gist of what you should know before starting the game itself.

But, they never mention about this game has the main character a self-aware implement into their character.

At first you notice the way Aether's face scrunched up in discomfort after the prologue. It makes you creep out but then you remember that your schoolmate has told you about a few of their self-aware elements, though they just told you about their reaction when you cancel their movements by jumping.

You assumed that your schoolmate probably wants you to experience it by yourself which is nice but a head up would be great too.

"Gacha game? more like a horror game." you snicker as you continue to play on your phone.

As time goes on, Aether's 'behavior' becomes worse. From making a lot of negative responses to you controlling him, now he even tries to defy your control over him by doing the opposite of what you want from him from time to time.

"Aether, you little shit! Stop swimming in a circle and go back to the shore repeatedly!" you shook your phone like crazy, and there was a small smile curled on Aether's face making your anger flame harder.

"T-this game is shit!"

While anger consumes you, you log out from the game.

You sigh leaning back to your gaming chair as you spin around on it before standing up, moving to your door, and walking down the stairs to grab some water.

because of this problem is the reason why you are slowly about to snap and quit this game.

You arrive at the kitchen, open the fridge, grab a small bottle of water, and quickly drink it up.

While doing so, you heard a rapid clicking on a keyboard coming from your sibling's room. A curious look on your face before you slowly walk to their and casually open the door by the knob.

There you see, your sibling screams while her finger moves steadily on the keyboard before slapping her hand on her table in frustration once she loses.

"GODDAMN IT!" Your sibling shouted, it looked like she had died fighting in the Spiral Abyss, no wonder.

"Calm down," you shook your head, walking inside to stand by your sibling. "You will wake Mom up from her sleep at this rate."

They turns to you, "Oh, you, sorry," she slowly calms herself down and sighs.

"This level just gets my shit up to a hundred, who told Hoyoverse that this is fine, all I wanted was the Primogem." They grumbles.

You softly rub her back with a small smile, "It's still many days left until the limited banner is gone, I am sure you will get em."

They put down their headphones, "Talk about it, what AR are you now?"

"Well, it's, I think...AR 23 or more..." You thought absentmindedly.

"That's quick," your sibling mused, "How is your experience so far as a beginner?"

"Well it's fun, I love the world-building, the colour, the gameplay, and the Ui..." You trailed, listing what you liked about the game until an irritated look appeared on your face that made your sibling perk at it. "Except for Aether!"

Your sibling flinched at your outburst before she raised a confused eyebrow at you, "Aether? The traveler?"

"Yes!" You grip your hand into a fist while seething in anger. "I don't know why they implanted such a feature, Like every time I try to play, he gotta need to defy my game control, it's creepy! He used to follow me but now he keeps making ugly faces at me like excuse me!"

"I really, really hate him!"

You keep rambling about your frustration with the traveler which leaves your sibling gaping.

"I don't think they have that..." Your sibling uttered out.

"Well, I did! And it needs to stop!"

"Do you contact Hoyo Customer Service? Is it probably a bug?" Your sibling suggested.

"I did but they never replied." You said crossing your arms.

"They probably will get back to you, one of these days since I am sure they have many people to attend to." Your sibling reassured.

"I hope so,"

Your sibling then chuckles, "But I don't think you would hate him for so long."

You frown with an eyebrow raised, "Why so?"

"They're gonna be a certain quest when you reach AR 28 or above which gives more lore about him." She elaborates.

"I don't think I would." You squint your eyes.

"Well the fact you still using the Traveler despite the bug he has, say so." She snickers, "Just give him a chance, hate the bug instead of him."

You scratch your cheeks and sigh, "We will see."

You decided to give the game, a second chance.

"Aether, don't you think...you being too mean to the Creator?" She whispered scratching her cheeks floating, looking down on Aether crouching down inside the bushes.

They currently watching over a couple of boars walking with Aether having his sword in his grip.

Aether glances at Paimon before smiling, "Well, it's not that bad, it's a small price for them to control my body." He turns his attention back to the boars.

Paimon deadpanned, "What a lie! You just did that so they left early!"

He doesn't respond and just quickly dashes out from the bushes and thrusts his sword onto one of the boar, quickly he pulls back the other sword and slashes the boar sprinting toward him.

Quickly he used his Anemo ability to pull back the almost-escaping boars and slashed them in one go.

Blood splatter on his face, outfit, hair and his swords.

"Ah," he wiped the blood on his cheeks with his thumbs, "I need to get better at dodging the blood-splattered," He said out loud.

Aether suddenly flinched and turned his body to see another boar is running up to him.

"Hi-ya!" Paimon shouted, hitting the boars with a rock on the forehead. "Don't you dare to attack Aether!"

Aether blinked and smiled, "Thanks for the help, Paimon."

Paimon perks up and throws away the rock somewhere else, "Hehe, you're welcome~ praise me more~" she giggles happily.

"Now calm down," Aether chuckled.

Aether then gets to work after cleaning himself with a towel to cut the boar meat, one by one.

After that was done, Aether decided to sit down to open his notebook, and start writing some alphabet and spelling again.

Paimon sits down beside the Traveler, watching the letter he wrote with knowing looks.

"Is that the Creator's language?" She asked, quietly after watching her surrounding.

Aether nodded, "Yeah, I managed to decipher some of it."

"Oh! What is it? Let me see!" Paikon excitedly asked and leaned over to look at it.

Paimon curiosity slowly turned into a horrified look, "Did the Creator say that?"

"Yeah," Aether said amused at Paimon's reaction, "surprising huh?"

"There is a lot of cursing! Outrageous mean word!" She blinks rapidly, "The Creator has very interesting wording..."

"Most of the curse directed at me, I am not surprised." He smirked.

Paimon looks at Aether's face still has a smile and a fond look on his face. "You like them?"

Aether stops writing, "Huh?" He turns to Paimon.

"The Creator! Do you finally like them?" She excitedly asked.

"No!" Aether quickly stood up and took a step back, "Ain't no way! I just tolerate the Creator better than before!"

Aether is very obviously in denial with his cheeks adorned with pink blush, averting his eyes.

It's very true that Aether slowly but surely started to understand the creator, whether their language and their intention choosing him as a vessel.

The first word he managed to decipher is 'love' from the Creator's language, it's when Aether has fallen from the Statue Of Seven that the Creator for some reason controlled him to do so.

He had a fatal injury caused by that, and while he was whimpering in pain, he heard the Creator change of tone.

Aether's eyes widened, and he looked up at the sky, the creator rambled a lot but he could hear the concern and care for him which gave him goosebumps

"...Aether!$%-#&#!"

Aether perks up again when he hears his name between the rambling and his eyes widen more.

"...Aether&%$%...love#%#&#-!"

His lips parted when he understood the word, Aether's cheeks burned red and his eyes turned hazy.

He doesn't realize what happening to him but Aether for sure has stopped functioning at this time.

Aether shook his head from his flashback and continued to scribble some more. His ear is red as his scribbling becomes faster but much to his chagrin, the scene keeps playing in his head.

Paimon, who watching at his side had a small smile adorning her face. 'Aether surely has grown to like the Creator and that's good.

Both of them will stuck together until they reach their intended goal, they are both important to me, so please help each other."

Paimon hands intertwined. together to prayer, eyes closed with her forehead leaning to her clasped hands.

Until it's snapped open, Paimon turned her head with a frown. 'Who?'

She scanned the surroundings when she sensed something wrong again. 'Behind that tree." Paimon narrows her eyes.

She was about to move and check it out but suddenly Aether stood up which gained Paimon attention back to him.

"Aether? Why are you standing?" She called moving to him, "Where are we going?"

She tilted her head when Aether didn't answer her which was odd until she moved in front of him.

There she sees Aether standing still with his eye twitching in irritation. 'Ah, the Creator is back.'

Paimon smiles sympathetically at Aether.

Aether's body then quickly moved in a sprint which made Aether's eyes wide with Paimon followed in tow.

As they move away, neither Aether nor Paimon didn't realizes that someone is watching them from afar behind a tree, the arrow they grip in their hands is put away.

The unknown eye glints with mysterious light, "The Creator..." They breathe.

You are lying down on the bed, empty and in pain.

There are tears stained under your eyes, your eyes are red from crying so hard for a long time. Akin to a person on the brink of death gate and barely gripping onto life.

"i can't believe it." you hiccup, "Lumine, why are you doing this?! Reunite with your brother, come on!" you shout in frustration, kicking your feet into the air.

You just recently finish the 'We will be reunited' quest and it broke you down from the inside hard. You are mad at Lumine but at the same you try to understand her but what actually fueled to your anger against her is Aether.

After the quest, Aether's face have trail of tears and hurt plastered that you didn't have a heart to do anything that often making you in verge of crying. Often you have started to not using Aether, in hope his expression will be better but it just become worse and you even begun to miss his smirk from before.

Everytime you try your best to help the boy even though it's probably a waste of time. After using him back again for daily mission, his face become focus like he try to pull his mind away from the events. It's like he try to move on, his expression look so real which should not be possible since Aether is a character game.

"I can't seem to leave him alone," You rub your eyes and slowly calming yourself down. Getting up from the bed you reach for your phone and open your messaging app.

After a back and forth messaging with your sibling and friend, you finally come to conclusion of what to do now.

You get back with soda and snack by your side as you open up Genshin Impact in your phone with a determined face.

"I can't believe that I am doing this for a game character that I hate..." you mutter as you sigh before focusing to the screen again.

"My money..."

"OUR MONEY!" Paimon scream, "Why are the Creator even use it to but a freaking expensive firework!!" she whined into her hand.

"We could use it to buy more Sticky Honey Roast!" She cried out, step onto the ground pr air repeatly.

Aether just sigh, "Well we can't do anything about it," he keep jogging forward to somewhere that even he doesn't know with the Creator controlling him. "We will gain it back in no time, so don't worry so much Paimon."

"Okay... but where are we even going?"

Aether narrow his eye as he climb up the boulder, "Hm...I don't know but this place seem familiar."

The more they walk and climb, the more familiar the surrounding area looks, Aether is now crouching down to set down the firework under a cliff before his body starts to sprint up up to the cliff where from there, he could see Mondstadt.

"Are the creators trying to light fireworks in the morning?" Paimon wonders out loud, "What the point? It's not even night!"

But then a miracle happened, the day quickly went back to nighttime time and both Aether and Paimon's eyes widened at the sight.

The sky that once had a sun on its landscape now has a moon and star decorating It.

At the right time, the fireworks shoot up into the air and burst into many colour.

"Wow...." Aether breathed out in awe.

"Aether..."

Aether suddenly glances at the sky when he hears the Creator speak his name. Each word the Creator utters makes his heart skip a beat, flushing red and his eye sparkling.

"....With this, I hope you will cheer up a little bit."

A trail of tears goes down his cheeks as the Creator's words end. He can't understand some of it but the way his heart thumping, he just knows for sure that.

Aether has fallen in forbidden love with the...

Creator.

[lueurjun]

enemies to lovers with soobin.

soobin x reader! in which a single misunderstanding sparks years full of dislike on both ends—or so you assume. enemies to lovers but it’s mainly idiots to lovers really. soobin x reader. i am literally starting to run out of ideas and it’s now 7 am and i haven’t slept but we move — pls cut me some slack if this one is bad. i am in the trenches rn. it’s also really long, i got carried away … my bad

reading the title probably made you giggle

because how on earth could anyone have beef with choi soobin?

the 6ft tall human embodiment of the word cosy

well, the thing is, you don’t actually hate soobin

it’s okay to admit it if you do, it’s not like imma jump you or anything hehe 🔪😐

for legal reasons that was a joke

so now you’re probably all like ‘but soobin would never hate me! he’s too soobin to hate anyone’

and you’d be correct because he actually doesn’t hate you

id jump him too. let that lanky mf admit he hates you and watch how fast i gather the crew ( my crew is the ninja turtles )

somehow, the two of you started this whole fiasco of believing that you hated each other

this dated back to when the two of you were starting high school and ended up falling in with the same group of friends

everything was fine at first and there was no beef with you and soobin

until one fateful evening when the group decided to hang out at the park

squad goals if you ask me. friends that go down the slide together, stay together trust me 🤞

everything had been running smoothly

aside from the fact that beomgyu almost got stuck inside a swing

after his panic attack and yeonjun had stocked up his camera roll with videos of the incident, beomgyu managed to be freed

thank you to taehyun who managed to yank him out

lord and saviour taehyun. saving beomgyu’s since he was in nappies 💪

after the whole ordeal, you sat next to soobin to gossip about how idiotic your friends are

and neither of you had realized just how close you were sitting

until one of your friends so generously pointed it out

fucking little tell tale RAT

which of course sent the rest of the group into a spiral of hoots and hollers

that then lead to the shipping and ‘oh you guys would be so cute together!’ comments

and they wouldn’t be wrong because you and soobin were actually a lot alike

the two of you shared common interests and could talk for hours about nothing

he was easy to talk to and that’s one of the things you liked about him

so, perhaps you didn’t mind the comments

oooooh not you crushinnnnn 😏 y/n and soobin kissin in a tree- sorry

in contrast, soobin’s expression was far from pleased as his gaze flickered from the group to taehyun and then to you, who stood with your eyes focused on the ground sheepishly

“what? i don’t like them. like at all. we’d be hideous together.”

record scratch. moment ruined

of course, he hadn’t meant for it to sound so harsh

and he felt exceptionally bad when he saw your face fall

making matters worse, your friends quickly fell into an uncomfortable silence, the tension in the air so thick you could practically feel it

oh well done! gone and made it all awkward now

from then on, you kept your distance from him

you were hurt by how disgusted he seemed at the idea of dating you

i would literally die for you. bruno mars would catch a grenade for you? jump in front of a train? nah bitch. i’d let a thousand bullets shoot me just because you you asked me to. i’d even step on lego for you-BEAT THAT SOOBIN #imromantic #imbetterthanhim

of course, you didn’t hate him

you could never hate him because he’s damn near impossible to hate

but soobin was unaware, believing his comment had shifted your opinion of him

he wanted to apologize, but you made effort to avoid him at all costs

so, he gave up and just decided to let it be because he wasn’t going to harass you into accepting an apology

which meant he also started avoiding you

so naturally, you assumed he now hated you

both of you jumping to conclusions higher than fuckin snoop dogg at this point-

whenever the friend group would hang out, the two of you would keep your distance

if someone made a comment about said distance, the pair of you just shrugged it off and changed conversation

you kind of just started to co exist

and this went on for quite some time and by some time i mean… the rest of high school

it wasn’t until you were a year into college did the misunderstanding finally get revealed

yeonjun had arranged for a mini reunion since you all hadn’t had much time to hang out in your separate lives

sure, you saw each other a lot but it wasn’t nearly as frequent and the groupchat had kind of died down

the meeting spot just so happens to be the same park where soobin crushed your soul that night

and for a moment, you considered not going

ha pussayy……..i am so sorry

but something deep inside tugged at your heart, and a gentle whisper echoed in your mind, encouraging you to go

so you did

the catchup was nice, and the group reminisced on high school memories

one of them being when beomgyu got stuck in the swing

and that topic opened up a can of worms

“wasn’t that the night that y/n started despising soobin?”

kai had bluntly pointed out, laughing along with everyone else

except, you weren’t laughing

them: 🤣 you: 😐

“despising soobin? i never despised soobin?”

everyone looked at you as though you had grown three heads

because what? what do you mean you never despised him?

“yes you did? when he made that comment about the pair of you being hideous together? you two stopped talking after that…”

after taehyun’s statement, you turned to soobin who looked just as confused as everyone else

“i didn’t hate soobin… soobin hated me?”

you had never seen anyone laugh as hard as the boys in that moment

kai was almost purple

not him almost cosplaying violet beauregarde from charlie and the chocolate factory

with all of them unable to breathe from laughing so much, you prodded soobin for an explanation

“well… after i made that comment, you kinda stopped talking to me and when i was going to apologize, you avoided me so i assumed you hated me and thought it was best to leave you alone…”

oh.

okay.

so you spent your last moments in high school believing that he disliked you

and he didn’t?

mhm. that’s fine. okay. yeah.

beomgyu, who was finally calm enough to speak, pointed between you

“wait… so… you didn’t hate him?”

and you shook your head

“i was hurt at first and needed some time but i didn’t hate him? i could never. it was quite the opposite really”

yeonjun let out a low whistle.

“perhaps we should leave you guys to talk this out.”

beomgyu gasped. “no? absolutely not! it’s just getting good.”

someone get beomgyu some popcorn

he was hastily yanked away with the group, leaving you and soobin alone in the spot where the miscommunication first took place

you could still hear beomgyu’s cries of protest in the distance

it was silent between the two of you for a brief moment

neither of you really knew how to start

until finally, the curiosity overwhelmed you and the silence was broken

me and the silence are the same fr 😔

“why was the idea of dating me so repulsive to you?”

soobin was stunned by the bluntness of your question, his face conveying surprise.

“i-i really wasn’t.”

“then why did you act so disgusted?”

grill him bae! like he’s a steak! grill him!

soobin looks perplexed for a moment and then his phone dings

you almost can’t believe the audacity of this man as he pulls out his phone to check the text

and then, his shoulders slump and he slides the phone over to you which displays a notification from taehyun

‘tell them the truth, i don’t mind.’

huh?

“taehyun had a crush on you back then… he had confided in me and i didn’t want to upset him…”

taehyun had a crush on you?

not you collecting txt like infinity stones

your head was starting to pound

“why didn’t he ever tell me?”

soobin shrugged. “i think it was just a passing crush. he started liking someone else a couple months later.”

thinking back, there was a period of time where taehyun had acted different towards you

you had noticed his lingering gazes and ignored them, chalking them up as nothing significant

and suddenly, his silence during the teasing made a lot of sense

“so… you weren’t repulsed by me?”

soobin shook his head, now looking rather shy

“it was quite the opposite. i’ve always found you quite spectacular.”

spectacular 🤓

“i’m really sorry for avoiding you.”

“me too, and im especially sorry for acting repulsed by you… though if you’d let me, i’d love to make it up to you?”

soobin was timid, his shoulders hunching as the words nervously slipped out of his mouth

you cheeks burned, but you tried to rein in your hopefulness, the last thing you needed was another miscommunication

“how would you do that?”

“well, i’d love to take you on a date if you’d let me… and then many more after that if you’ll have me.”

his question strikes a chord deep within you, instantly soothing away the torment of the past and restoring a spirit of hope that maybe you could be something more

in that moment, the october breeze felt like a scorching wave of lava, scorching your skin

“i think i’d really like that.”

[babsisbakery]

How far will you take it?

Lia Wälti x fem!reader part 1

Do you love me or do you love that you have a gf. That you aren't single. That you don't have to spend nights alone. Someone in your arms or someone to hold you. Would you love me if i wasn’t ur gf or just when I am. Maybe you just love the idea of love but don't actually love me. Or maybe you only “love” me because you are bored and have nobody else. I'm just here and showed you affection, so you took it. Took it, to be in a relationship, to get as close as possible to actual love. In reality it isn't though. It's just a fantasy you create. But what about me?

You love being in relationships. Exes of you have warned me, multiple, so so many. I ignore your red flags. As if I had a red and green colour deficiency. I give and I give, do I receive anything in return? No. Because you need, want the affection. But when I need it, you are nowhere to be seen. When I'm clingy or want some attention. You take your sweet time responding. Time away from me.The cold shoulder, silent treatment, no response after I shoot a text. Even Duolingo messages me more than you and that's sad to admit.

I'm wondering if you leave me on-read on purpose too. I know you do sometimes on insta. Why's that? Did I offend you? Lia, you leave me with crumbs. Crumbs of your existence. Which I absorb like a greedy vacuum. This isn't healthy. It makes my mind spiral every night. Wondering if you love me. Wondering if you are cheating. Wondering if you have found the one but stay with me out of convenience. No-one in a relationship should have to wonder if their partner loves them, yet here I am. You give me almost nothing. Stop messing with my feelings, don't drag me around if you don't feel the same. Let me find someone who does in fact love me if you don't. I want a relationship where both sides give 100 percent. A balance. Yet still all my words fall to dull ears, Words spoken to someone who doesn't want to change or listen. Someone who wants to live their life to the fullest, but why drag me into this chaos of a life. 

So either you get a grip of yourself or I'm done. I'll not only leave you but Arsenal as well. I wouldn't be able to look you in the eyes. So I'm giving you an ultimatum. Yes, like one in the show but without a ring, I want to sense your commitment. Because those restless nights are plaguing my brain. I want to become a mother eventually and for that I need a partner. If it's you or not, I can't foresee. If you can't imagine a future with me, then don't. I'll go. I'll be gone. Just say the words. I’ll be out of your hair once and for all.

- Your dear friend/gf

This is the letter Lia found on the counter top after returning from a cruel training session. Lia sat down on the sofa, still in her gym clothes. She initially assumed it was some sort of grocery list, she wanted to ignore it. But something in her mind nagged her to take a better look. She was shocked and ashamed of herself. She had really broken you. This wasn't in her plans, to destroy your whole being. She simply wanted to have some fun, have you as her girl. Yet there wasn't a trace of you. Not in this apartment, albeit your belongings were still at their places, nor in training today. Now she knew the reason why you were out of sight this evening. You are gone for now. Somewhere you felt loved and cherished. She had led you to exile with one foot in the door. The question is will Lia convince you to stay or will she set you free to be at peace? Which path will she choose?...

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Wicked Felina (The Girl That I Love)

Part 2 - “Peter”

Azriel x Reader/Rhysand’s Sister - Angst

Visions of a past life plague Felina as she recovers from burnout. Rhys seeks answers. Azriel comforts his mate as past-trauma comes crashing down on her. A former lover tracks her down.

Part 1 - El Paso Series Masterlist Part 3 - Vampire

warnings: past trauma, panic attack, references to sex, elements involving death, blood drinking, violence

Forgive me, Peter. My lost fearless leader.

“Quit fidgeting, Y/N.” Mother whispers as she runs a brush through my tangled hair.

Father is in Windhaven this week and I’ve been free to roam the skies as I please, whenever mother turns a blind eye. The arts district is vibrant with life and so often my family carries me out kicking and screaming. Well, aside from my brother who hides his amusement behind a mask of irreverence. He knows I love the rainbow.

Of course, Rhys has been gone on courtly business for weeks and I am dying to see him. My brother, the one person who truly understands me. Well, as much as one’s older brother can understand their sister.

I miss him.

“Sorry, mother.” I sigh. “I’m just excited to see my brother tomorrow on our travels.”

A pause of the brush strokes gliding through my hair shoots worry through me. I grit my teeth, bracing for her next words. “What is it?” I inquire, turning to see Mother’s lovely face downcast before her warm gaze meets mine. “He’s been held up and cannot travel with us tomorrow.”

“Oh.” I sigh. Hurt running through me. It’s not his fault, he’s busy and a far more benevolent leader than our father is a ruler, though he plays the game quite well.

An hour later as I lay in bed my heart races, my thoughts spiraling into the places I do my best to forget. The males of this court always let me down. Oh the perils of being the second born heir, younger than those surrounding me, female, and never taken seriously.

The goddess of timing, once found us beguiling.

A note appears at my bedside.

“Night’s truest bloom, there is no starlight without you. Won’t you cast thy gaze upon my room? Xx, Peter”

I smile at the flirtatious note, biting my lip. “You know I can’t but think of me as you bask in sunlight while mother and I trudge through the Illyrian forests tomorrow. Rhys bailed.”

“I don’t like that you’re traveling alone. Shall I come escort you?”

I blush at the thought of walking arm-in-arm with him. Gods, I’m so totally enamored. How did it end up like this?

“You High Fae, so territorial.” I write back.

“You are partly High Fae yourself, my lady. In fact, I’m pretty sure you offered to kill the last female who got too close for your liking.”

My stomach turns. I would. The female’s a lech.

“Semantics. I’ll see you when I get back. Dream filthy dreams of me.” I press a kiss to the letter and send it off.

“Only the filthiest, my sweet Felina.”

She said she was trying. Peter, was she lying? My ribs get the feeling she did.

—————-

Felina

“Y/N?” A cautious voice stirs me from my dream. I wake to find myself in a very large bed, surrounded by luxurious blankets that likely cost twenty-fold the standard linens I’d become accustomed to - the ornate room around me more spacious than anywhere I could recall resting my head.

My body is sore, lethargic. I stretch my arms and - ouch - stiff as well.

“Take it, easy, okay? Your body was under a lot of stress.” I blink my bleary eyes to see Azriel’s concerned gaze fixed upon me.

My body feels weighed down from exhaustion but my heart, it feels heaviest of all - a feeling I’ve continued to carry since Azriel found me at the Inn. Shouldn’t I be happy to have a piece of my life in place? I have a mate - and from what I can recall, a damn good one as well.

I open my mouth to speak but his eyes go distant, a look I’m familiar with but trying to place.

An urgent knock intrudes upon the silence, a look of irritation crossing Azriel’s features before he mutters an apology to me. “He couldn’t wait for me to speak with you apparently.”

My gut clenches, dread overtaking it as the door opens. In walks a male with a face so familiar that my heart’s pace rushes. My brother, Rhys.

“Y/N.” He chokes out, love and longing written all over his beautiful face. “You’re home.”

The name. Y/N. So familiar and so foreign. I remember it now but Felina brings me comfort. “Felina, please call me Felina.” Pain flickers across his features before giving a subtle nod. “Okay, Felina.”

His eyes sparkle as tears form in his eyes. “How? How are you here? Where have you been?”

I reach a hand to touch his face, the scruff beneath itching my palm, his hand instantly finding it and leaning in. It feels so warm and familiar and yet, I yank my hand away like lightning. “I don’t know.” My breaths quicken. Flashes of centuries of lies and manipulation rush into my head and it’s all too much. I can’t process this. I can’t relive it.

My hands find my torso, wrapping myself tightly, I can’t catch my breath. The hot blur of tears fill my eyes as I screw them shut. “I’m sorry- I- I“ can’t finish the sentence as I heave, trying my best to even out my breathing and failing miserably. The inky feel of power seeps from my skin and I can’t process the male voices speaking beside me. My name; a cold, icy voice giving a command; a broken voice of night giving in to whatever was commanded as heavy footsteps pace away, and then -

Darkness. Warmth. A heartbeat in my ear. A brush of lips against my hair. Azriel.

I stay there, sobbing as the emotions crash into me like the surf to rocky shores. The pain doesn’t alleviate for what feels like an hour, the rhythm of my mate’s chest finally bringing me back to the present.

When my eyes open, Azriel is draped over me, wings cocooning protectively around my body, his heartbeat the steady constant in my ear. “I’ve got you.” He whispers. I give into his warmth and drift off again.

————————

Said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me.

Lovers in a field. Brushed hands at balls. Green eyes meeting violet. Shared smiles.

Words from the mouths of babes

Tears cried into a broad shoulder. Whispers of “It’s not fair”, drunken chants of “fuck the cauldron!”, late nights and long dances beside reflections of starlight.

Promises oceans deep

Young lovers questioning eternity, the forces of fate. Letters signed with pen names.

But never to keep

————————-

“Brother, you need to sleep.” Rhysand stressed into Azriel’s mind.

The stubborn bastard had refused to leave Y/N’s side for the days she’d been unconscious. A huge part of Rhys beamed at that. Who was he to question the bonds forged by fate? Was Azriel being his sister’s mate ideal? In a sense, no. As an older brother, he’d always felt protective over her. But Y/N had always gravitated to Azriel, even as a child his shadows could calm her when she was fussy, his patient demeanor had always been a soothing balm to her inquisitive mind. He’d listen carefully as she pondered the great mysteries of life out loud long after the rest of the family had tuned her out.

“I’m fine.” Azriel’s conscious growled in return.

He sure as hell didn’t sound it.

“Let me send darkness to soothe her, just long enough for you to eat and get some sun.”

A pause and then the mirthful reply of “Is it an order?”

Maintaining composure the High Lord replied, “Is it necessary for me to do so?”

Ten minutes later, Azriel appeared at the bottom of the stairs, the light of the foyer emphasizing his hallowed eyes and drained skin. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks.” Azriel muttered.

Rhys knew he sounded like a prick but it was true. “How about you go sun your wings in the garden?”

The energy of the room shifted as Azriel’s eyes rolled, caught between humor and bitterness as he reminded his brother for the fifth time that week of the current circumstances. “Despite your good intentions, you seem to forget that prolonged exposure to the sun is exactly what I do not need.”

“Shit! I am never going to get used to this.” Rhys placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. “Fine, sit. Amren brought a fresh blood supply this morning. She says it’s goat from Sevenda’s but she was in a mood, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the blood of whatever poor souls had the nerve to cross her path on the way here.”

Azriel wanted to grin at the attempted humor but didn’t have it in him. What a strange turn of the tables, Amren no longer the bloodthirsty one.

The males sat in silence, Azriel nursing the goblet of blood Nuala had kindly brought in to him. Soft footsteps padded into the space, a familiar floral scent wafting through the room, as Elain entered.

“Oh.” the middle Archeron sister gasped. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” She gave a wary smile, sad eyes falling on Azriel before flicking back to Rhys.

“Not interrupting, Elain. What do you have there?” Rhys glanced to a piece of paper in her clutched in her grasp. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she spoke too quickly, her pulse fluttering. “Writing secret love letters, Elain?”

She shook her head, glancing to Azriel once again. It grated Rhys to know the recent history, or whatever it was, that transpired between Azriel and Elain. With his sister being thrown into the mix now, he was battling that instinct to protect her at all costs.

Elain blushed a soft shade of pink, nearly matching that of her pastel dress. One hand grasping the delicate wrist of the opposite. “I’ve been writing to Lucien.”

“Ah, and how is dear Little Lucien?” Rhys raised an eyebrow, lip quirking upward.

“He’s fine.” Her words were clipped. “I have to go now. Cerridwen is waiting for me in the gardens. We’re planting a new variant of night-blooming jasmine.” She gave a nod and scurried from the room.

Azriel’s lips remained in a firm line as Rhys nursed the whiskey he’d poured himself.

Months ago, her words would have hurt, sliced like a dagger at Azriel’s own lack of a bond. Now, well, he still felt jaded toward Rhys for the solstice that he essentially banned him from pursuing a relationship with Elain. But- it worked for the best. There was nothing in this world he wanted more than his own mate, his Y/N, his Felina - as she insisted she be called.

Guilt tugged at him, he should be up with her, not downstairs. What if she needed him? What if she woke with a night terror and he wasn’t there?

“She’s fine, brother.” Rhys broke him from his thoughts. “Your shadows will alert you the moment she wakes, and I have darkness soothing her.”

Shaking his head, Azriel rested his face in his own palms as if he’d rub his face hard enough and all concerns would fade away.

Finally, he looked up. “How do you do it, Rhys? How do you stay away when there are so many questions that need answered?”

Sitting his glass down onto a coaster, Rhys leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. “I know she is in good hands. You brought her back to me. And I know, a mate can help her right now far more than an older brother.”

The thought warmed the icy chill that had settled into Azriel’s bones, he reveled in the moment before replying. “There’s so much we don’t know- So much we need to know.”

“You’re the spymaster, Az, and she’s your mate. I know you need answers. And gods, don’t think for a moment that I don’t want answers too. It takes every ounce of will not to just dive in to see what I can find, but…. It’s her story to tell. And, when I send my darkness to soother her, her shields, there’s something about them that my own darkness recoils from.”

Digesting the words, Azriel took another swig from his goblet. “I need to go back upstairs.”

Rhys only gave a knowing nod.

—————————

Love’s never lost when perspective is earned

Dreams shifted from young love and light to pain and darkness plague my sleep state with visions of bloodshed on pristine snow. Brutal hands of power-hungry males. Sharpened blades. A mother’s scream. Shredded wings falling to the earth.

Lost to the Lost Boys chapter of your life

And then, warm hands and a familiar face. Love and terror in emerald eyes. Strong arms carrying a broken body. Cries of “Please just hold on for me.”

A promise of “Stay right here. I’m getting help.” The back of a lupine creature running toward the distance.

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold on.

The effort of holding on is growing too hard. My head slumps as blood trickles from my wingless back. An unheard plea of “Peter!” falls from frozen lips.

Then there is darkness. Void. Impending death.

A cold, pale hand chills my skin. A cruel, beautiful face promises eternity. Unfamiliar arms drag me away and I do not fight.

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.

———————————

Azriel

Azriel had finally settled in beside a sleeping Felina, resisting the urge to take her in his arms and never let go.

His shadows alerted him to the breach in the wards first, shock running through him at the intrusion. Apparating to the entryway, he found Rhys at the front door, baring his teeth at the intruder, waves of night rolling off of him in a way that would send most running.

Icy rage shot through Azriel’s veins at the audacity of the male to show up at their door. The urge first, ask questions later pulling him toward the intruder. His lunged was interrupted by a sharp inhale behind him behind, diverting him from his war path.

His mate had walked down the stairs, her first time out of bed since arriving to the River House. Her slim form trembled, those otherworldly eyes swirling with emotions he couldn’t comprehend.

“Peter.” She whispered through rapid breaths. Azriel ran to her, bracing an arm around her back to steady her uneven footing as she climbed down the grand staircase.

The blonde male fell to his knees, his tears falling ricocheting off the marble floors.

Azriel has no time to ponder the incorrect name she’d used, focusing on her steps, observing the sight before him. He’d only ever seen the male solemn or filled with rage. Never this.

And Felina, there was no fear or hate in her eyes, no wariness, as she took in the male. No, the only emotion he could now read was one his heart wasn’t prepared to face.

So, Azriel watched as his mate’s eyes lined with tears, her slow steps increasing and filling with purpose as she reached the entryway, stepping out of his brace and flinging herself into the arms of the High Lord of the Spring Court.

—————————

Tamlin

Are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer?

He didn’t believe it when Lucien wrote to him sending word that Elain mentioned that Y/N was in Velaris. That she was alive. There was no way and getting his hopes up would kill him.

How many nights had he spent plagued by the memories of the day it all came crashing down? The ruination of a beautiful friendship, of a love forged from two kindred souls damned by fate, and the role he played in it.

They were both so jaded at an early age, he and Y/N. And for whatever reason he couldn’t fathom, the princess of night found the youngest heir of spring to be worthy of her presence. She was everything and he was just, a lost male. Everyone wanted her time but she wanted his, and so began the affair of sneaking off at parties, stolen kisses under starry nights, long rolls in soft grasses, love notes written with pen names.

He was Peter, the lost boy forced to grow up too soon - who wanted nothing more than a life of music and poetry but doomed to strengthen ties to Hybern, to be married off like seed stock to a mate that he hated, Hybern’s wicked general.

And Felina, feline, curious and sleek as a cat. She’d been heartbroken by a one-sided mating bond, by a mate who only saw her as the child she once was, a mate too busy pining over her cousin to notice the gem he had right in front of him.

They’d found comfort and peace with eachother, two young adults who could be whomever they wished in their stolen moments.

They were careful to avoid being caught. So careful, until the day he snuck off to watch as she traveled through the Illyrian forests with her mother, that instinct to protect those he cared for surfacing at such an early age. He thought he’d lost her forever. He’d tried so desperately to save her. By the time he returned with a healer, she had disappeared. To this day, Felina had been his greatest loss.

And moments ago when her cry called into his mind, “Peter!”. There was nothing that could hold him back from her, no wards too strong, no distance too far to winnow. There was only he and his need to see her for himself.

And now, here she was in his arms. Repeating over and over how sorry she was for not holding on, for not having faith that he’d return.

All he could choke out was, “Felina.”

We both did the best we could do, underneath the same moon in different galaxies.

—————————————

Tags:

General ACOTAR: @lilah-asteria

Series tag list: @saltedcoffeescotch @julesofvolterra @glittervame @nocasdatsgay

SPOILER FOR THIS STORY (in case you need to know who is end game) : click here

[aringofsalt]

🖤 and bucktommy

🖤 - kissing while crying / goodbye kiss / desperation

made it angsty just for you 😂 (well. angsty for me anyway shhhhh)

One name.

Two syllables.

A common enough name, one the barista waiting impatiently behind the counter probably said five times a day or more; only a few short months ago it was one of the most special names in Buck’s life. But it couldn’t be him; Buck's Tommy was gone. He was halfway across the damn country by now at his fancy new job, not that Buck was bitter about it, he was being super mature about it actually—

“Order for Tommy?” The barista repeated, exasperated, and this time a very familiar set of shoulders came into view.

Buck watched, frozen in place, sure that he’d once again taken a bolt of lightning to the face and descended into bizarro coma world, but before he could get too far down that spiral, Tommy had turned around and headed in his direction. He glanced up at Buck, did a double take, then froze himself, the two of them deer in each other’s headlights.

“Uh, h-hey, Tommy,” Buck offered stiffly. “Are you meeting someone?”

“Hmm?”

“You have two cups,” Buck pointed out. Tommy smiled shyly, turning one of them to the side to show the little label marked off with—Buck’s usual order.

“I was actually hoping to surprise you before your shift. I, uh, wanted to tell you in person, but I decided not to take that job. I just—I wanted to stay. I wanted you. I had to iron things out with my boss and be absolutely sure I could back out before I told you, but they were already ready to offer me a pretty good retention deal, so—mmph!”

Buck wasn’t about to wait a single second longer before throwing himself at Tommy for the first time in months, busy coffee shop be damned. By some sort of miracle (or just Tommy’s reflexes), the cups stayed in his hands instead of hitting the floor, but he wrapped his arms around Buck as best he could anyway, holding him steady as he always did.

“Really?” Buck breathed, tears already pricking at the corners of his eyes and threatening to fall. “You’re really staying?”

“Sure am, baby,” Tommy said softly, arms tightening even more. “And I know it’s a lot to expect that you’d still want to—”

Tommy was right, all those months ago when he’d kissed Buck for the first time and turned his whole life upside down: kissing someone was an effective way to shut them up.

[dystopicjumpsuit]

Hiatus announcement.

Hi friends. I've got some stuff I need to focus on in my personal life right now, and I'm not able to balance that with keeping up with Tumblr and Discord. I'll be taking a hiatus starting immediately. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but hopefully it won't be too long. If you have submitted a request for a fic, design, or artwork, please know I'll do my absolute best to fill it when I'm back, but for now, I need to be present in my real life.

I love you all, and I'll miss you, and I can't wait to come back! I'll put a few more details below the cut in case you're interested. CW for medical issues.

My partner has been unwell recently, and this week, we discovered that they have a blood clot in their leg. Further testing revealed they have a serious heart condition. Unfortunately, they also have a preexisting vascular condition that makes blood thinners risky, but their PCP went ahead and prescribed a three-month course of medication for the clot since it's an immediate issue. We are waiting to hear if insurance will cover the meds; apparently this prescription gets rejected by insurers frequently due to the cost. (Thinking about the fact that some analyst in a cubicle could decide that my partner's life is worth less than a three-month course of medication is making me feel absolutely sick.)

They have more appointments scheduled with a cardiologist and a vascular surgeon, so for now, we're just kind of stuck in limbo. Their PCP gave us a long list of, "If x happens, go to the emergency room immediately. If y happens, go to the emergency room immediately. If z happens - you guessed it - go to the emergency room immediately."

At this point, I'm still trying to come to terms with it. My partner just turned 44. We have an active lifestyle; we eat healthfully; we don't drink to excess. We just got fucked over by genetic risk factors.

The scariest part is that we wouldn't have found out about any of this if they hadn't gone to the doctor for a completely unrelated issue. I'm trying not to think about it too hard, or my imagination starts to send me into a spiral.

Please allow me to get sappy for a moment:

If you've read much of my work, you probably know my partner better than you might think, as they inspire a lot of my characterization, either directly or indirectly. If you enjoyed the way I wrote Waxer in "The Sixth Language" or Jesse in "In Which Jesse Gets What He Deserves," then you have a good idea of their personality. They are extraordinarily kind and patient, funny and sweet. They have been here for me consistently for twenty years, first as my friend, and later as my everything. They've held me when I cried, and they've made me laugh every single day since I met them. They know me better than anyone in the world, and I trust them with my soul.

They are the only person IRL who even knows that I write fanfiction, and they have read every single fic I've ever written. They've served as my guinea pig when I needed to work through the physical mechanics of a scene, and they've listened to me ramble for hours on end about plotting and characterization. They've supported and encouraged me in this and so many other areas, and now it's my turn to support them through this.

If you've read this far, I just want to say thank you for all the love, support, encouragement, and kindness you've given me over the past year. This fandom community has truly changed my life, and I am more grateful than words can communicate. I hope to see you all again very soon, hopefully with good news. But in the meantime, please know that I love you all.

May the Force be with you. 🩵

[bloatedandalone04]

Wrapped Around Your Finger - Part 0.8

Series Masterlist | Original Fic

➪in which anakin spirals more and more and you debate on whether or not you’re truly happy with where your life is going.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.9k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

The flashing lights made Anakin’s head spin as he gripped the glass tightly in his hand. 

He had no idea how much he had to drink tonight, but he knew it was well past his limit. Still, the more he drank the more free he felt. 

Gone was the stress of not being able to write, gone was the constant ache he felt whenever he thought of you, gone were his worries. 

He guessed he had Liz to thank for that since she had found this bar that looked a lot more like a club. She had heard of this place in Warsaw that was apparently pretty popular, and that turned out to be very true since Anakin could barely move with all the people around him. 

He also had no idea what they were saying as they chatted and sang amongst themselves, and clearly Liz didn’t either as she shook her head at a guy who offered her something in a plastic bag. “I have no idea what you’re saying,” she yelled over the music as she took a small pill from him, making Anakin raise a brow in concern. “But I’ll have one.”

She smirked and placed the pill on her tongue, and it dissolved slowly as she winked at the man before patting him on the back and sending him on his way. She turned back to face Anakin with a grin as he eyed her cautiously. “Do you know that guy?” He asked and looked behind her as the man offered one of the pills to another girl. 

“Nope,” she answered, stealing his drink from his hand while he was distracted and finishing it off for him. 

He looked back at her and she rolled her eyes when he said, “Do you think it’s  a good idea to take pills from random men at bars?”

“Who are you, my dad?” She laughed, taking his wrist in her hand. “Just because you don’t do drugs doesn’t mean you can judge those who do.” 

Anakin followed her as she pulled him to the middle of the room, and he had to squeeze uncomfortably in between more than one intoxicated girl who ran her nails down his body on his way past. “I’m not judging,” he said. “Just want to make sure you’re being safe.”

She smirked up at him as she tried to wrap her arms around his shoulders. “I’m with you, aren’t I?” She asked, slurring her words and pushing herself up so her face was close to his. “I’m the safest I could be.”

“Okay,” he took her wrists in his hands and dropped her arms to her sides. “I think you’ve consumed more than enough tonight. Let’s just go.”

Liz pulled back when he tried to guide her towards the door, shaking her head like a kid even though she was nearing her thirties. “You go if you want to so badly,” she scoffed. “Call your little girlfriend and go to bed. I’m staying.”

He watched as she began dancing with the guy she got the pill from and sighed as he pulled out his phone to check the time. 

2:43 AM.

Fuck, he was going to be exhausted during the band meeting tomorrow and he probably will only get an hour or two of sleep at the most if he left now, but he knew he couldn’t leave her alone this time. She was far too intoxicated and he would feel awful if something were to happen to her after he left. 

So, with a huff, he pocketed his nearly dead phone and leaned against a pillar, keeping an eye on her for a few more hours after that. He ended up pretty much carrying her back to where the bus parked was at nearly six in the morning, his body aching and his eyes sore from lack of sleep. 

He felt like he had been sleeping for five minutes when Vinny shook him awake and pointed towards the couch. “Morning, Anakin,” he greeted. “Why is Liz sleeping on our couch?”

Anakin groaned as he got out of his bunk and looked at the couch, too. “She got completely wasted last night,” he told Vinny. “I couldn’t get her to leave until, like, five in the morning and I let her sleep there since nothing else was open and she didn’t make any reservations at a hotel.”

Vinny nodded as he tucked his phone and wallet into his jean pockets. “Uh huh,” he muttered, heading towards the door. “Well, have fun dealing with her hangover.”

“Wait,” Anakin called after him, walking over to Vinny quickly despite his head begging him to stop moving right now. “Where are you going? I thought Helena said there was a band meeting today.”

Vinny shook his head and opened the bus door. “No? Pretty sure that was her way of getting you to talk to her without you thinking something is up,” he answered, stepping off the bus. “With that being said, if you don’t show up to that meeting, I’ll personally kick your ass.”

Then he was gone and Anakin was left holding his stomach as he felt nausea wash over him. He passed by Liz and headed for his bunk again, picking out black jeans and a hoodie he’s had since his first year of college before he dropped out to go on tour. 

He felt around in the pockets of the jeans he wore last night and pulled out his phone, a deep sigh leaving his mouth when he saw that it was at 2%. He also saw that you had texted him, and he typed out a response as he walked by Liz again. He debated on whether or not he should wake her up, but decided not to as he left the bus. 

She could sleep there for now until she was scheduled to take their pictures later tonight. And she could deal with her own hangover.

Princess: Hey..miss you. Can we call later today?

Miss you, too. Yeah, call me when you’re able to. 

He sent it before pulling up the directions to the coffee shop Helena sent him. 

Anakin barely made it there before his phone died, and as soon as he entered the shop and met Helena’s eye, it powered off. He shoved it into his pocket and sat down across from her at the table. “Hey, sorry, I had a hard time finding this place,” he said as he looked around the small shop. 

Helena hummed as she brought her cup of coffee up to her mouth, pushing another one towards him with her free hand. “That’s alright,” she trailed off, sipping on her drink as she observed him with a raised brow before leaning forward. “Permission to be blunt, Anakin?”

Anakin laughed as he sipped his own drink, grimacing at the hot liquid before swallowing quickly. “Permission granted, like always,” he answered, setting the cup aside. “You know that.”

Helena gave him a tight lipped smile as she leaned back again. “You look like shit,” she stated, crossing her arms while still holding her coffee. “Like, awful. Anakin, you look bad.”

Anakin laughed unexpectedly and looked around again. He wasn’t sure what he thought she was going to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Uh…thanks for that, Hel. You sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself,”

When he met her eyes again, he could see the concern in them. “I’m serious, Anakin,” she said, much quieter now as her gaze flickered all over his face. “How much sleep have you been getting? You’ve got circles under your eyes, you’re hungover all the time, you’ve lost weight…I’m worried about you, Anakin.”

He shifted uncomfortably in the chair before leaning back and avoiding eye contact with his manager. He knew he wasn’t doing very well at the moment, but there wasn’t much he could do about some of her concerns. 

He knew his sleep schedule would become fucked when he left you behind in London, and he gave her a warning about that in advance. The drinking and hangovers were on him, though, and he really didn’t have an excuse for that. 

Still, he felt like he was being called out by one of his high school teachers, and he wasn’t the biggest fan of that feeling. 

Helena sighed at his lack of response and set her drink aside as she thought over her next words. “Is it Y/n? I haven’t heard you talk about her much lately,” she cautiously asked. 

Anakin looked over, glaring at her for a second before shaking his head. “No, it’s not Y/n. She’s doing great all by herself in London,” he bitterly answered, making Helena raise a brow. 

“Okay…” She sat back again, knowing better than to push that topic any further because of his hostile answer. “How’s the song writing coming along?”

He laughed quietly at that one. “Amazing,” he said and watched as she perked up at that. Too bad he was about to ruin her brief moment of happiness. “I’ve written one whole sentence. Not a lyric, but a sentence.” 

She raised both brows and pressed her lips together at that, nodding in a way that told him she was holding back. “Okay…um…alright,” she dropped her gaze and focused on the table, and Anakin felt bad about his inability to be a decent fucking guy nowadays. “Okay….as your manager, I’m responsible for you, so, I have to ask….what’s with all the partying? All the hangovers?”

Anakin gave her a look that begged her to just drop it, but she just gave him an unreadable expression. He sighed as he crossed his own arms. “I don’t know, I thought all musicians went out and partied in their prime,”

Helena nodded and grabbed her drink again. “Most do…but I see you’ve gotten pretty close with Elizabeth. What’s that all about?” 

“I thought you wanted us to be nice to her,” he pointed out and Helena nodded again. 

“I do want that, but you’ve been spending more and more time with her at all these bars and clubs,” she trailed off, shrugging afterwards. “Just worried about you, is all.”

Anakin slouches back and nods. “Well, I’m fine,” he mumbled, giving her a half-assed thumbs up as if it would help her believe his words. “Really. Just missing my other half, that’s it.” 

Helena gave him a sad smile. “You sure that’s it?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “That’s it. I’m working on the song, I promise. It’s just taking longer than normal, but I’ll get it done.”

She nodded and sat up straighter. “Good to hear,”

He smiled back at her as he looked at the empty seats next to them in the booth. “So, why did you say this was a band meeting when you only wanted to talk to me?”

Helena gave him a pointed look, “Would you have actually shown up if I told you that I wanted to meet with you to call you out on your shit?”

Anakin let out a genuine laugh at that, running his hand through his messy hair as he shook his head. “No, probably not,”

-

“Before you all run out of here and get drunk or whatever it is that college students do on weekends nowadays, I have a little announcement,” Kenneth said just as you and the rest of the class started packing up. “There’s an orientation event happening this weekend. Just something to encourage first time students to put themselves out there, be creative..things like that.”

You shove your books in your bag as you stand up, never looking away from your instructor as his gaze flickers all around the room. 

“After reading the assignments you’ve all submitted, I’ve decided I want one of you to tag along with me to the orientation, just as long as you’re not booked and busy for the weekend like I’m sure you all are,” he said, earning a few scattered laughs before he met your gaze. “Miss Y/l/n, I think you will learn a thing or two if you were to attend the orientation. If you are able to.”

Your face heats up as everyone looks at you, making you shift a bit and glance up at Evan, who didn’t look too happy but still did a decent job at hiding it. “Me?”

Kenneth nodded, “Yeah, you. I think spending a few hours with the young writers would do you well,”

You swallow harshly as you avoid eye contact with every single student that was looking at you. “Yeah, sure, I….sounds fun,”

“Great,” Kenneth nodded, standing up as well. “And don’t worry, there will be many other opportunities like this for everyone else. Have a good weekend, guys.”

Evan shook his head and shoved his notebook in his bag as he headed for the door, pausing when he realized that you weren’t following him. “Hey,” he called out to you, making you look over at him from where you stood by the table. “You coming?”

Holding up your index finger, you give him a shy and embarrassed smile. “One sec,” you answer before quickly walking over to Kenneth’s desk. “Hi, sorry, but are you sure I’m the right fit for this? There’s a lot of talent in this class.”

You look over at Evan, who just shakes his head again and leaves the room with everyone else. Kenneth looked down at you with a raised brow. “It’s just an orientation, Miss Y/l/n, not a showcase,” he said. “That happens much later.”

You nod and place your bag over your shoulder. “Right, okay, sorry. Thank you for, you know, picking me, I…I appreciate it,” you trail off. “Where is it happening? Will I need to wear something specific?”

Kenneth shook his head as he packed his own bag. “No, nothing specific. They’ll give you a name tag so people will know you’re part of the event, which is happening on campus,” he answered. “In the Quad.”

“The Quad, right,” you nod. “Time?”

“One in the afternoon,”

“Okay, great,” you say and back away from him, hoping Evan waited for you in the hall. You also hoped he wasn’t mad at you like you think he might be. “Thanks again.”

Kenneth gave you a nod. “See you tomorrow, Miss Y/l/n,” 

“See you tomorrow,” you say back before leaving the classroom and meeting Evan’s eye as you enter the hallway. “Jesus.”

Evan laughs and it sounds a bit forced as you and he walk down the hall. “What? Upset that the instructors got a soft spot for you?”

His question caught you off guard and you stumble a bit as you near the exit. “He does not,” you scoff. “He said everyone will get an opportunity like this.”

Evan holds the door open for you. “Yeah, only because he had to,” he said, making you glare up at him for a few seconds. “Oh, come on, the man basically just said you’re the best in the class, he’s gotta keep the rest of our hopes up so we don’t drop out.”

You shake your head. “You and your threats to drop out,” you mutter, walking a few steps ahead of him. “I didn’t ask him to choose me, okay? It just happened.”

Evan stopped walking, making you stop as well and turn to face him. “And you agreed,”

“What was I supposed to do? Tell him no?” You raise your voice a bit before promptly shutting up and looking down. He was making you feel bad about being chosen by Kenneth, but you still didn’t want there to be tension between you and the only person you actually talk to in class. “There’s that reading assignment we got earlier today…do you want to work on it together? Maybe we can order in, too.”

Evan looked away and shook his head. “No, I think I’ll have an early night tonight,” he said as he began walking in the opposite direction. 

“Ev,” you call out after him but he just continues walking. 

“I’ll see you on Monday,” he said back and then he was halfway across the campus, leaving you all by yourself. 

You curse under your breath, frustration seeping into you as you pull out your phone and click on Anakin’s contact. He was probably the only person in the whole world you wanted to talk to right now. “Hey, princess,” he greets you when the call connects. 

“Hi, Ani,” you say as you begin walking again. “How are you?”

“Could be better,” he answered and you could hear him fidgeting with something in the background. “What about you? How was your day?”

You look back in the direction Evan took off in, but he was long gone now. “It was going well until about five minutes ago,” you say as you walk towards your dorm. “I accidentally pissed Evan off and now he’s all mad at me.”

“Why is he mad at you?” Even on the phone you could still hear the protectiveness in Anakin’s voice, and it provided you with the smallest amount of comfort. 

“He thinks Kenneth has a soft spot for me since he asked me to go to this orientation thing with him this weekend,” you mumble and after saying it out loud, you were kind of starting to agree with Evan. “I don’t know, it’s just…I don’t know.”

Anakin scoffs. “Sounds like Evan is just jealous of you,” 

You bite down on your lip and take out your keys. “He’s got nothing to be jealous of, though,”

“I think he does,” Anakin says and you raise a brow as you drop your bag onto your bed. “You’re clearly one of the best students there. You write better than all of them, and that’s pretty obvious by the feedback you’re getting. He’s probably just pissed you’re getting all the attention.”

He almost sounded annoyed, and if you didn’t know any better you’d say he was being petty. “You say that with such pride,” you say back.

The line goes quiet for a few seconds before he says in a monotone voice, “You know how proud of you I am,”

He says that, yet he wasn’t doing a very good job at showing it at all lately, but you didn’t want to call him out on it and have both him and Evan mad at you. “Yeah,” you trail off as you pull out your laptop. “Anyway, I miss your face. Can you video call me?”

“I can’t right now, baby, I’m heading to the venue soon,” he replied and you felt your heart deflate a bit. 

“Oh, okay,” you mumble and sit down at your small desk. You open your laptop and pull up the word document you’ve been working on for a week or so now as you add, “Have a good show then, Ani. I love you.”

“I love you, too, princess,” he said back then ended the call. 

You set your phone down with a sigh as you look around your empty room. Bailey had gone home for the weekend and Evan rejected your offer to hang out, and you were left to sit by yourself and forced to also have an early night. 

The next day you make it to campus for twelve thirty and stand by Kenneth as the fresh out of high school graduates walk around the Quad. You smile at the possible new students and hand out the sheets you were given that have the programs listed on them, your mind far away from where your body currently is. 

After a while of doing that, Kenneth turns to you with a small smile. “You doing okay?” He asked, making you look up at him. “You seem a bit quiet today.”

“Do I?” You ask back and look around the campus again. “I’m sorry, I’m just…I’m sorry.”

He laughs and takes the papers from you, setting them down on the table you were standing in front of before leaning against it. “That’s alright, Miss Y/l/n,” 

You look over at him and cross your arms. “I have a first name, you know,” you joke, leaning against the table as well. “Why do you always call me by my last name?” 

Kenneth shrugged as he smiled at one of the students. “Sounds more professional that way, doesn’t it?”

You also shrug as you look down at the grass. “Makes me feel old,”

“You are nowhere near being old,” he said and you laugh under your breath. “I just want to treat my students like the adults you all are. That doesn’t mean you’re old.”

Nodding, you gaze around at the teens who all seemed so excited to start the next chapter of their lives. You remembered when that was you, fresh out of high school with Anakin by your side as you tried to figure out what you wanted to do. Anakin had it all planned out, and it wasn’t long after that when he had managed to get himself a manager and secure a world tour at the age of twenty. 

Your eyes burned as you tried not to reminisce about those times. “Yeah, I guess,” 

Kenneth narrows his eyes at you and leans over a bit, “What’s going on with you, huh? What’s got you so quiet?”

You press your lips together and shrug, “I don’t know, I just…” you stutter and let out a frustrated sigh. “I guess I just feel left out…with my boyfriend. He’s out there living his life with some of the best guys I know by his side, and I….I’m just here. Alone.”

You weren’t sure why you were telling your instructor, out of all people, this, but you were quickly realizing that you needed an outlet. You needed someone to listen and needed a way to get your feelings out instead of bottling them up all the time. 

You give him an embarrassed smile and look away, not wanting him to think that you were just some weak girl who can’t function without her boyfriend. “I’m sorry, you…you don’t need to know about all that,” 

Kenneth shrugged. “I don’t mind being the person you vent to,” he said, surprising you a bit. “People think college is the worst time of their lives; you’re lonely, broke most of the time, stressed beyond belief. It shouldn’t be that way, at least I don’t think it should. And as for you, I think you’re doing great for someone who is supposedly alone. You have a really…real way with words, Miss Y/l/n. I think you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

You take in his words and realize that they’re probably the most supportive ones you’ve heard since you got here, and the fact that it was from your instructor and not your friends or boyfriend was a bit eye opening. 

“Thank you,” you say quietly, feeling your confidence deflate a bit as you begin to question if you were doing the right thing at this point in your life. 

“It’s okay,” he replied and stood up. “Come on, we have thirty graduates to inspire.”

You smile before following after him, still stuck in your own head about whether or not you are happy with how your life is going at the moment and also a bit worried that you had made a mistake.

[lintubintu]

Kot Kot Review

I like Kot Kot a lot.

Despite the almost harsh difference between the intro and how the song progresses, it´s not too out there.

The music seems chaotic and structured, is melodic, nostalgic and two-faced more out of necessity than provocation, and it´s ongoing. It spirals.

There is a lovely moodiness to it that seems mature and balanced, deliberately using the intro as a bridge again and repurposing the funky "kot kot" into something that softens into the lighter part of the song. The change of pace is noticeable but not alarming and almost hopeful.

Kot Kot is not a big song nor does it exist to troll. It enjoys being silly with the chicken theme and builds a narrative that can be purposely misunderstood by people who don´t like him.

During my first listen I was a little confused but intrigued by the seemingly contradicting parts that adapt well by the second listen. Pop and Rap evolve from clashing into shaking hands.

It feels a bit like a song nobody would put on an album anymore because it is deemed barely good enough to keep up with its fellow, more popular tunes. It stands on its own where others see a filler track.

Overall, it makes me have more hope for the album now; for it to be an album and not just a compilation of Singles.

I wouldn´t be surprised if this song was the opening number, nor would I be shocked to not find an Intro at all – Kot Kot is an introduction in itself.

From what I understand of the lyrics, it also is the first song of his that makes me want to know more about him as a lyricist.

To start the song of with MAYDAY is a deliberate choice because the song is not what it seems.

It´s soft spoken and not a shrill cry for help but knows of something that already affects the narrator enough that reaching out soon is imminent. It´s a literal stress signal.

The teaser made me think the protagonist in this song was simply sick of being treated like someone doomed to continue staging a party for others.

Relying on translations and interpretations of this song, the protagonist seems to realise that their lifestyle will rather leave them with very little time spent having fun with friends – because even the party-goers have gone to bed earlier than them.

Those that tried to keep up with them may have lost their step and had to give in to their own different schedules, or are worse off for keeping them company. So their company diminishes further.

There might be little life beyond the lifestyle, the sobering thought that solitude is too close within reach for comfort – the time left after work cannot always be shared nor of quality due to their schedule.

A double blow. Real life and bonding has to be spent in time confetti. Throughout it all, the silliness persists.

Rather laughable is the Explicit rating of this song. Was it the Perhana!?

The ending is a jumpscare, them finally being silly, breaking the cycle. But at the same time, it´s a rooster greeting the morning – the protagonist worked the night away.

For a moment, you are relieved the song is over. And then you play it again.

I would love for the upcoming album to be a concept album.

This song seems to divide people in a different way than songs before it did.

Some of you seem puzzled, others more neutral than hateful, none of the dislike so far is really loud.

The timing might be a bit unfortunate – song releases at this hour have the same problems as the protagonist in Kot Kot.

And even if you really don´t like this song, I fell that there will be something on the album that you will like.

It´s ok to not like things and it doesn´t have to be justified.

Still, I am interested to hear what you don´t like about this song because I think it makes for a worthwhile conversation and I like interacting with you.

Let´s do that while we have the time.

[orikiys]

🔖 、 A LETTER TO MY EX

ᘛ 𓏧     ࣪    𖠵 희승 ☓ fem!reader. ꔪ ﹏ ᘒ angst implied exes warning loneliness can’t-move-on-ex not proofread & 798 words

remember the first time when we asked each other our favourite colours? i feel like yours has changed drastically. from blue to orange then back to blue and now? what is your favourite colour now? i forgot i can’t ask you that anymore. i don’t have the authority to ask. who am i to you now? just the past that you’re trying to forget so hard? i remembered another thing, i remembered the way you would convert time differences just so you could remind me to eat on time, to take my multivitamins on time, to give me a good luck message an hour before i left home, just so i didn’t feel alone.

now all i feel is dread. i’m surrounded by it. engulfed within the cores that no matter how hard i try to escape, an image of you never fails to pop up in my head. when i go to work, i see myself glancing at my phone out of habit as i used to when you texted me ‘have a good day!’. i still remember the first time you called me, i even remember the place where i picked up your call. it’s silly, it’s childish even, but i find myself walking down to that place sometimes and wondering what would have happened if i never picked that call? would we still be dating? would we still be in the phase where we asked each other our favourites?

you might not know this, but i added your city to my weather app a month after we broke up. it marked exactly a month since i’ve stopped receiving your phone calls, since i’ve stopped receiving any text messages from you. exactly a month since i’ve stopped knowing you. but i knew that no matter if it's been a month or five months, hating you might be the hardest journey. i still check the temperature of your city every day. but i have to stop myself from reminding you to carry an umbrella with you, because i don’t know where to find you anymore. you’ve gone. you’ve gone somewhere far away that even if i try to trace those steps they’ll just lead me to nowhere.

i still remember when i made snow angels and sent it to you. you called me a real life angel. upto this day, i can still see the shy smile on your when that ‘angel’ converted into a nickname. but now? even hearing that word anywhere makes me go into a deep hypnosis of what it felt like dating you. it felt complicated. each day i felt different emotions. one day i would be re-reading your texts a hundred times till they’re embedded into my brain and on other days i would be cursing you out for reasons i don’t wish to remember.

dating you had that spark in it, until it didn’t. until it just felt like carrying a burden all to myself. it felt suffocating to even open your texts just for me to see a simple ‘ok’ or just for me to see you’ve left me on read, again. just the way you left me all alone by myself. i thought we were special? i thought we were meant to be? but guess it was just me.

i tried to scab the areas you hurt, healed and then hurt again. but how could i scab my heart? it’s too precious. too fragile. but clearly it didn’t even take you a single regret when you broke that heart of mine. you were like the song that was always stuck in my head and like the words i never had a filter on. you just kept flowing all around me, making me lose myself into a tangled mess. i ended up embracing that mess in hopes you would call me your lover again.

i still wonder how it all happened. how the invisible cracks began to spiral the way more quickly until we could no longer bridge with words or actions. we started doing the bare minimum for each other and felt that it was enough. it wasn’t some sort of god’s plan but maybe it was all written in that book of fate because the more i think about it, the more i feel that this breaking apart couldn’t be fixed no matter how much the two sides tried to. except, none of the sides tried. we just stopped caring. there was no realisation until i felt you slip away from my grasp. until i had realised that i’d been wrapping my arms around something that was gone. a sense of nostalgia. perhaps the faded away moments. but i knew that i would answer if you reached out again. no matter the years it took. but i won’t ever forgive you for the way you threw that relationship out your head like an empty piece of cardboard lying at home. i won’t forgive unless i forget.

sincerely,

your angel

[supercriminalbean]

Fight Club. Part four.

Aaron Hotchner x Male!Reader.

Part: One. Two. Three.

Summary: The team finally gets a lead on location but has to much damage to you already happened? Are they going to find you alive, will you survive the curl thing called life.

Warning: Dark fic. Blood, fighting, death, killing, abuse, kidnapping, swearing, drugs, unsub violence, angst, murder, criminal minds unsub violenceness. This whole fic series is just dark and strange the ask it self is amazing and may help you know if this is something you can handle. (Any other warnings let me know xx)

Words: 6.4k

A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY. But hey here you go, part 5 will be posted in a few weeks and it will be the aboustel last part do enjoy this. Love y'all so much for the support and love.

Three more days go by, everyday there is a new livestream. You look worse and worse each time, the light in your eyes drifting away, the hope dying away. You have been forced to fight one more time, and it

ended the same way. You gave the poor boy mercy in the final moments of the fight only for him to end his life. You did everything you could to get him to stop but nothing you did made him turn the knife onto you, so you laid on the ground once more holding the young boy in your arms as he bleeded out. On the days you wouldn’t fight he would come in and take his anger out on you, trying out some new knives he had, your body is nothing but a meat sack covered in bruises and scars. You grew tired, no longer fighting against him, the sas has long left you as you wait for the impending end. 

~~~

Aaron paces the room as his mind spiralling, it's been over four days since they took you, and concentrating is getting harder with each minute passing. The team got a new lead this morning, Garcia, Reid and Morgan are sitting in the other room going through the geographic profile once more, while the rest of them map out what the next moves of the unsub could be. So far deadends keep being hit but new hope has been lit inside the team, everyone seems to be pushing through the fear of losing you, everyone but Aaron. The door flies open, making everyone's head shoot up as Morgan and Garcia stand there looking shocked. 

“We got the location, we got him” Garcia gasps breathless as she sprints into the room carrying her laptop, quickly followed by Morgan and Reid.

“What, you're sure?” JJ eyes brighten up, leaping into action.

“Positive, three hours south from here there's an abandoned underground gymnasium that has a huge pool, there's only two entrances into it” Garcia speaks quickly, Reid lays down the map, pointing it out.

“Also its a 7 hour drive from where they found (Y/n) many years ago, he could have ran from there” Reid adds.

“Let's go then” Hotch orders, and in a split second the team is sprinting out of the room.

~~~

Your energy is gone, you don’t care about staying alert anymore, when you're alone all you do is sleep. Your mind's way of escaping as your body works on healing itself. Someone yanks your head back, waking you up, a quiet noise of pain slips through your lips. 

“Morning sunshine” He laughs as he walks in front of you, his sickening smile is one thing you will never get used to. 

“What now?” sighing softly, as you stare up at him, as he kneels down staring at you with interest. 

“It's time for another fight sweetboy” His chuckles grow louder when you don't react. He’s done it, he’s broken you, there is no strength of fight left inside of you any more.

“Fine, where is he?” You groan softly as he unties your hands, giving you time to stretch, rubbing your sore wrist. 

“He’s coming” He smirks at you before removing your chair, and climbing out of the pool, setting up the camera and lights before the door opens.

“Ah Victor, you’re here” He grins at you as your face falls.

“Yes sir” A dark cold voice response, before walking closer making himself visible. He’s grown, he’s bigger than you now, a lot stronger by the looks of it too. His eyes are dead and when he glances at you, there is no look of recognition as he meets your eyes. The boy you once knew is gone, and that's your fault.

“Are you ready, Jupiter?” Ma’am giggles, your eyes glance at her, not even nothing beside Ryan before.

“I’m not fighting him” You shake your head at them.

“Making it easy for me” He smirks darkly at you before jumping down into the pool, his eyes never leaving yours. 

“Ryan you don’t have to do this” You try to reason with him, staying still.

“That's not my name” He hisses at you, his eyes narrowing. 

“It used to be, do you remember me?” You take a deep breath stepping forward.

“No, I don’t” He scoffs, he slams his eyes shut before reopening them with new rage.

“I bet you do, and you don’t want anything to do with those memories because I hurt you when I left you, Ryan” You speak calmly but firmly keeping eye contact with him.

“Bullcrap, I don’t fucking know you!” He snaps at you, his body lunging towards you, you dodge him. 

“Don’t hide from me” His smirk darkness as he watches your slow movements, focusing on your limp. 

“Why not, you're analysing me because I’m slow because I'm injured and that's the only way you can beat me” You smirk back at him, knowing his techniques, having discovered them together. 

“Oh I could beat your ass easily” He chuckles, advancing on you.

“Lies Ryan lies” You smile at him, watching as a small light appears in his eyes for two seconds. Two seconds of hope then suddenly, he’s got you. A few quick hits in your face and chest to disorientate you, blood drips from your mouth as he eases up for a moment and then you can hear his yells.

“I don’t know you, I don't know Ryan!” He screams as he goes back to using you as a punching bag. You manage to get your leg out, tripping him over as you gasp for air, climbing on top of him, doing your best to pin his arms down. 

“You do know Ryan, It's you, and I’m (Y/n), come on man we used to be best friends” You argue, watching as anger flares into his eyes.

“I don’t fucking know you” He snarls at you, and in one quick movement, he flips you both over, winding you. His hands wrap around your throat, pressing down hard as you struggle to breath, forgetting all your training. You try your hardest to find words to speak but nothing can get past your lips, soon everything starts growing darker. 

“Forgive you” You cough up, it's barely loud enough as you give up fighting. What is there to fight for anyway, no ones coming to save you anyway. Soon darkness overcomes you and you feel yourself floating.

~~~

It's cold, a cold feeling on your cheeks as fresh air fills your lungs. You gasp, your body shooting up, pushing the coldness away from you, blinking rapidly as your eyes adjust to the dark room. 

“(Y/n), (Y/n), It’s okay it’s just us, It’s JJ” A firm but calming voice calls to you, before something soft touches your shoulder. Your head spins around, your eyes landing on her, a weak smile crawls onto your face, before falling away.

“I..I'm dead aren’t I?” Yours words are barely audible as you stare at her, the new hope fading away. 

“No, you're alive, we got you” She smiles softly at you, rubbing your back gently.

“Y you came for me?” Your voice wobbles as tears start filling your eyes, a sob begging to escape.

“Of course we did kiddo” Another voice speaks beside you, moving your head slowly you spot Dave kneeling down beside you, wrapping his arm around you which you lean into.

“Th thank you” A sob leaves you as you reach a hand out to JJ, taking her hand in yours earning a soft sadden smile from her. 

“Always, we are family” She smiles at you before helping you up. You lean on them both for support, before your eyes scan the room, stopping on the body just a few feet from you.

“Ryan…” Your heart breaks as you stare at him, and the blood pooling underneath him.

“I’m sorry (Y/n)” Dave's soft voice pulls your attention to him and his guilt filled eyes. You can’t focus on that now, you just can’t, you give him a quick nod.

“Let's get the hell out of here” Gulping thickly as you let them lead you to the side of the pool, taking your time.

“Rossi, you got him?” A loud voice calls from the doorway before four agents make their way inside the room.

“Yeah Morgan we got him” Rossi calls back, beckoning him over. Morgan and Prentiss quickly make their way over, smiles of reliefs flooding their faces as their eyes set on you. 

“You are a site for sore eyes” Morgan chuckles softly, holding out a hand as you try to climb out, him and Prentiss grabbing your arm gently pulling you up. 

“Good to see you too, Morgan” Smiling weakly, leaning into him as Prentiss helps pull the other two up. His arm wraps around you as you use him for support, resting your head on his arm, earning a few back rubs from him. 

“Hey, your boss is calling for backup there's more kids than they thought” One of the swat agents speaks up, his hand on his comas. 

“Go, we’ll get him out of here” Rossi orders, nodding at Morgan and Prentiss. 

“I can get myself out, go help Hotch” You wince a little, pulling away from Morgan's support. 

“Not tonight (Y/n)” JJ smiles before wrapping her arm around you once more.

“We’ll see you on top” Prentiss smiles, squeezing your hand before following Morgan and the other agents out.

“You two should go help, I got this” You look down as you speak.

“No kiddo, we aren’t leaving you” Rossi smiles, before taking your arm, helping support you.

“We are never leaving you, ever” JJ chimes in, smiling sadly at you. You smile weakly at them before nodding.

“Then let's get the hell out of here” You declare, a small chuckle leaving you as you let them lead you out.

~~~

You never thought cold air would feel this good, you shiver uncontrollably as you sit on the back of the ambulance, watching your team and swat bring the boys up out of that hell. The normally empty field is filled with flashing lights from police cars and ambulances, your eyes scan the area as you wait for the two members of your team still yet to appear from down below. 

“We saved those boys, we saved them!” Her screeching voice causes your eyes to flash over, spotting her in the custody of Morgan. Your eyes meet his and they are filled with anger and hatred, he smiles forcefully at you. Followed behind them is the man you hate the most, he stays quite his eyes scanning the area, stopping once he sees you a gut twisting laugh escapes him as he stares daggers at you.

“You're a waste of talent boy, should have killed you when you were just a kid boy” He screams at you, making Rossi yanking him forwards, his eyes darkening on the man in front of him. You don’t take your eyes off them until you watch them get put in separate police cars and the doors slam closed and their screaming stops. You take a deep breath and the air tastes more clean, a smile pulls at your lips as your eyes meet Rossi, his are filled with sympathy as yours fill with hope. It's over, it's over for good. You turn back to watch the entrance, watching the last few agents walk out, Reid walks out carrying a young boy aged seven in his arms. Your heart breaks as you see the boy cling to Spencer, the tear stained face, but then your heart soars, leaping to your feet as Aaron finally appears. You don’t care about the pain radiating throughout your body as you push your body forward, not caring about the tears sliding down as you focus on him.

“Aaron” You scream out, and he stops spinning around to look at you, his face fills with relief as he walks towards you, faster than his body could take him.

“(Y/n)!” He exclaims, watching as you fall to your knees as you reach him, falling forward into his arms. He lowers you both to the ground gently, his arms wrapped around your body firmly as your body shakes with sobs.

“It's okay, I got you, you're safe now” He strokes your hair as he comforts you, holding you closely. He whispers words of comfort as you cry into his chest, he holds you for a long time allowing you to let it all out. 

You two sit there for a long time, even after all the tears have long dried. 

“Hey we need to get you checked out” Aaron whispers as he runs his hand over your back. 

“Stay with me?” Gulping thickly as you look up at him.

“Always” He smiles, kissing your forehead before taking your hand and pulling you up. “Always” He repeats as he leads you back to the ambulance where Emily and Rossi now wait. 

“You two going up to the hospital?” Emily smiles softly, she can’t help but feel relieved every single time she looks at you.

“Yeah” You nod, leaning into Aaron's arm wrapped around you finding comfort in his touch.

“Good, I texted Garcia she's on her way there now, she's worried about you” Rossi adds, smiling lovingly at you.

“What.. Penelopes here.. Why?” You look up at Aaron confused only to watch his face fall. 

“Because she cares for you, we all do it's why we are here” He smiles softly at you, before helping you into the ambulance, where the EMTs are waiting.

“Oh, right” You gulp a little, before sitting back down, your eyes staying on Aaron as he sits beside you.

~~~

Once you get to the hospital you don’t get time to have a break before you are wheeled straight into having x-rays and other tests. You are away from Aaron for hours, and it hurts they keep prodding you and questioning you, it's exhausting. Finally they take you to room, and you're alone, fear creeps into you as you wait for Aaron, your heart races faster every second you're alone. 

“”Oh my gosh, you're here” She squeals as she runs into the room, her eyes brightening up as she spots you, rushing towards your side being careful not to touch you.

“Penelope” You breathe out, fresh tears sprouting to your eyes as you see the queen of sunshine. “Gosh I missed you” You let out a small whimper as you reach for her hand, her eyes widen before quickly capturing your hand in hers.

“Oh my love, I’m right here” She smiles at you before sitting down, never letting your hand go.

“Where's Aar?” You whisper, feeling groggy from all the drugs.

“He’s talking to the doctor first, sweetie, but that brings us to something” She smiles cheekily at you. “WheN did you start calling him Aar?”

“Before he kissed me” You chuckle softly, closing your eyes as exhaustion starts taking over. You never saw Garcia's mouth fall open, her eyes almost falling out.

“Um Garcia everything okay?” Hotcha asks as he walks in worry filling him instantly.

“Uh yep everything is fine sir” She quickly collects herself, smiling softly as she stands up. “But I should let him rest, you staying here tonight Hotch?”

“I will” Hotch smiles as he notices you still gripping Penelope's hand tightly.

“He's warming up” Penelope comments, glancing down at your hand.

“That he is” He smiles more, moving to your side, sliding his hand over yours, so you can finally let Penelope go.

“So is that why you two kiss?” Penelope can’t hold it back anymore as she makes her way to the door. Hotch's head shot up, catching her knowing look, he can’t help but smile back. 

“Goodnight Penelope, keep that to yourself okay” 

“Got it boss” She giggles as she leaves. 

~~~

The next day goes by slowly, they keep taking you away for tests. Checking over your wounds and changing the bandages, it felt exhausting everyone kept asking you questions and dragging you away from Aaron. Why can’t they just let you rest, why can’t you just go home, all you want to do is go home and deal with the aftermath of this case. Finally the nurse wheels you back into your room, leaving you alone, you're not sure how long you have laid on your bed staring at the ceiling for. But the tears keep flooding your eyes as you realise the team now knows your deepest darkest secret, your job is in jeopardy and all you want is Aaron. Aaron to hold you, Aaron to tell you that everything will be okay, you know it's wrong to crave someone like this but you can’t help it. You aren’t ready to lose him, he won’t want you now that he knows how damaged you are, he won’t want you around his son now knowing what a cold blooded killer you used to be. You didn’t realise the machine beside you was beeping away until someone entered the room, making their way towards you urgently.

“(Y/n), you're okay” Aaron sits on the edge of your bed grabbing your hand, your eyes flash towards him. You're hyperventilating, gasping for air as you squeeze his hand, shaking your head as you try to speak.

“I can’t, can’t breath” You whimper softly, his eyes soften as he pulls you into his arms, rubbing your back gently.

“Listen to my heart beat darling, copy me okay” He speaks delicately, his voice as sweet as honey. “Deep breaths, in and hold for three seconds” He takes a deep breath, as you copy him. “And out” He blows out, smiling softly as you copy him. “Just like that darling, and again” He takes a deep breath, listening closely to you, falling silent as you work on your breathing. 

“Thank you” Breathing out slowly, as you glance up at him with a tear stained face.

“Don’t need to thank me” He smiles lightly at you, laying down on your bed, pulling you with him. To his surprise you don’t argue instead you cuddle up to him, entwinding your fingers with his. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He murmurs, his free hand running through your hair.

“Yes, but not today” Sighing softly as you close your eyes, your mind finally feeling empty.

“That's okay, later then get some rest” He smiles a little as he takes in just how peaceful you look.

“Stay with me?” Your words mumble together as sleep takes you.

“Always” Hotch smiles, kisses your head softly. 

~~~

The doctors finally discharge you and give you permission to fly, so now you and Aaron are on your way to the jet where you're meeting the rest of the team. You haven’t seen anyone since they reduced you, you know they are going to have questions and alot of them, but you don’t want to answer them, you just can’t. You’re staring out the window, lost in thought while Aaron drives, he can’t help but keep glancing at you, worrying about what's going on inside your mind.

“You want to talk about it?” Aaron asks, his eyes focusing on the road.

“The team is going to have questions” Sighing as you rest your head on the window, watching the world go by.

“They will, but you don’t have to answer them tonight” He replies, before adding. “They will wait as long as you need”

“What about Chief Strauss?” Looking over at him, as the anxiety of her questing and debriefing fills you. 

“We will have to face that tomorrow morning” Aaron does everything in his power to keep his eyes on the road and not look at you, he doesn’t want to see that broken look in your eyes, because he knows if he does you two won’t make it to the jet. 

“We?” Your voice is lower, he can barely hear you but he does.

“Yes we, Im not letting you face her alone, whatever happens we will deal with it together” He gives you a small confident filled smile.

“Thank you” You return that smile lightly, but it doesn’t meet your eyes, other things playing on our mind.

“What else is going on inside your mind tonight?” 

“I…It’s nothing” Shaking your head as you look back outside.

“Whatever it is, I can help”

“Even if it's stupid?”

“Yes even then” Aaron chuckles softly, earning a small laugh from you. 

“I don’t want to be alone tonight, normally I love it but the thought of going back to my apartment tonight, it's unsettling…” You struggle to find the words, ending up playing with your fingers as you speak. His hand reaches out capturing your hand with his, a smile slipping onto your lips as his fingers linking in with yours.

“You can stay with me tonight, whenever you like to” Aaron's voice is soft as he pulls up to the runway.

“Thank you Aar”

~~~

The flight goes by quickly, you and Aaron get there before the rest of the team so you drag him to the couch, settling in and accidentally falling asleep with your head resting against Aaron's chest before the rest of the team arrives. You somehow woke up halfway through the flight, the rest of the team also asleep, Aaron deep asleep with his arm wrapped firmly around you. You can’t help but smile, feeling safe in his embrace as you scan the jet, seeing the team all spread out sleeping and a guilty feeling starts to eat at you. How could you ever think they would leave you there, how could you think that hiding your past from them was a smart idea when things started turning south feels wrong now. But that's behind you now, and it may seem silly but you feel so much closer with them all, and knowing that you have to answer all their questions is something you no longer dread. Smiling to yourself as you snuggle back down, falling back asleep in Aarons arms, knowing at one point you’ll have to deal with the way your heart throbs with his touch. 

“(Y/n) wake up” His voice is soft as he rubs your arm, trying to get you to wake up. Grumbling softly as your eyes slowly open, groaning quietly as your eyes adjust to the lighting, the jet is so bright but soon your eyes fall on Aaron, smiling sleepily at him.

“Hi” Yawning softly as you sit up, stretching a little. 

“Sleep well there?” Derek smirks, sitting opposite you there. 

“Like a peach” Chuckling softly as you see the team sitting opposite you.

“Sorry, we are about to land” Aaron smiles apologetically as you stiff back another yawn.

“Its fine”

“Here, It's also time for your meds” JJ adds, passing you over a bottle of water and your pills.

“Oh right, thanks JJ” You smile politely before taking them, swallowing down the pills and the water. You can feel the team's eyes on you, and the guilty feeling re enters you, slowly you pull the bottle away meeting the eyes of your team.

“Look I know you guys have questions—” You start, suddenly feeling defensive.

“We just want to know if you're okay?” Emily speaks, her eyes filled with concern that when you realise they don’t care about what you did, their looks are ones full of worry and concern a new feeling fills your chest. A small smile filled with love and affection fills your face as you think over your answer. 

“Honestly no I'm not, I got a lot of healing to do a lot of things to work through, but give me time and I’ll be okay” You lean into Aaron as you answer, smiling a little.

“If you ever need anything, we are right here okay” Morgan smiles kindly at you.

“Just give me time and patience” You smile back at him, enjoying the way Aaron rubs your back in comfort.

“We can do that,” Rossi nods, giving you a light smile.

“Are you going to be okay at home, I know you don’t have a bed and its not good for you to rest up only on a couch” Reid adds in, staring at you with concern.

“You don’t have a bed?” JJ eyes almost fall out, giving you her best mum look, causing you to feel sheepish.

“Um no but i’ll be fine”

“Bullshoot, you will stay with me. I have a spare room” Garcia speaks up staring at you firmly, daring you to argue with her.

“Um I appreciate that, but I don’t need to”

“You are not sleeping on a couch” Emily shakes her head. “Its either my place or pens so pick”

“Look I appreciate it but I already have a place to stay” You smile shyly at them.

“Wait you have other friends” Morgan gasps dramatically. “Who?”

“Me” Aaron laughs at the shocked faces of the team, everyone but Rossi and Garcia. 

“Huh, fine, can't argue with bossman then” Garcia smirks, looking away.

“That's settled then” Aaron smiles, before picking up his phone. “It's Strauss, she says we get the next few days off” Aaron smiles as his team cheers quietly. 

“Does that mean we did a great job, or are we in trouble?” Rossi jokes, turning to Aaron.

“Both” Aaron half jokes, glancing down at you, feeling you tenses up. 

~~~

ONE MONTH LATER.

You hadn’t seen the team since they all had dinner at Dave's house a few days after they got you back. It was a small celebration, you opened up them just a little bit, you all grew closer that night. Sadly the day you got back you were suspended pending an investigation, you talked with Strauss and she told you there wasn’t much she could do, because it was all out of her hands, but it didn’t matter to you because you had a plan. Today you finally found out what the decision is, and so after your meeting you head down to the BAU floor. Yes the team is out of town on a case, but luckily they are on their way home tonight and Dave is throwing another dinner tonight to celebrate the good news of yours. So you make your way to the one person you can’t wait to see anyway, because four weeks without seeing her beautiful smile is too long, you knock lightly on her door. 

“Come in” She calls out, her voice full of happiness.

“Good afternoon Penelope” You smile as you push her door open, she gasps while spinning around in her chair, smiling up at you with excitement. 

“It's youuu, you have come to see me” She exclaims, grinning up at you, climbing to her feet, holding out her hand for a small high five. It's your guys' small ways of saying hey, but instead you dismiss her hand, and pull her into a small hug.

“I missed you” Smiling softly as you feel her freeze only for her to quickly hug you back giving you a small squeeze. Penelope swears her face is going to fall off with how much she is smiling right now, she never imagined you would ever give her a hug and she can’t help but enjoy it. Closing her eyes as she soaks it in, holding herself back with the way she wants to squeeze you tightly. 

“You're hugging me” She giggles, dancing just a little before you pull away, a big smile across your own face.

“That was okay, right?” Your smile falters a little as you double check with her.

“You can hug me whenever you like my love” She grins more. “But um what brought that on?”

“Well I want to be less scared of physical touch so I thought what better way to start working on it to give in and give a hug to someone I’ve been dying to” You shrug your shoulder, trying to act like its no big deal as your body tingles with the feeling of someone's else touch.

“That's a big step, I'm proud of you” Penelope smiles more at you, her heart soaring at the look of the new you. She knows she only saw you two weeks ago but you have changed even the energy around you. You cut your hair, it's more short now, and you look like you glow, there's a shine behind your eyes. You’re clearly sleeping more and eating regularly, looking after yourself is finally starting to sink in for you and she couldn’t be more proud. 

“Thanks pen” Smiling back at her.

“So how did your meeting go?” she sits back down, as you grab her spare seat.

“It went really well, I can’t wait to tell everyone tonight at Dave's” You smile, enjoying her presents, soon you two just start catching up on everything that has been happening.

~~~

A soft knock on the door indicates that Aaron is here, smiling as you grab your phone making your way towards the door, opening it quickly glad to see both your boys there.

“Hi (Y/n)” Jack grins up at you, you can’t help but smile back as you bend down to give him a quick hug.

“Hey kiddo, oh I’ve missed you”

“You saw him the other day” Aaron teases as you pull away, smirking as you turn to him.

“What, is that your way of saying you didn’t miss me, Hotchner?” Smirking lightly as you tease him, enjoying the way he pulls you into a hug.

“Never” He chuckles softly, kissing your cheek lightly, sliding his hand into yours as he pulls away.

“Lets gooo, I wanna see Henry” Jack giggles as he leads you both down the hallway. You can’t help but laugh at him, he definitely does have his Dad's patience. 

“We coming Jack” Smiling over at Aaron as you follow the boy closely.

“So the meeting with Strauss, how did it go?” Aaron asks you, glancing at you, his concern with how quiet you have been this afternoon growing. You were meant to text him, but he never heard from you.

“It went great, I’m no longer under investigation and i’m all clear to return” You smile slides away as you reach the car, Jack gets in leaving you two outside to talk freely.

“Are you still doing what we talked about?” Aaron speaks softly, his hand rubbing your arm softly as you lean against the car.

“I think It’s time Aaron, it's just going to be hard” You can’t help but sigh heavily as you lean into his touch. 

“I know, but you need to do what's best for you and I will be right here beside you every step of the way” Aaron declares, smiling lovingly at you.

“I know, thank you and I mean it Aaron. You have been my rock the past few weeks” Smiling up at him.

“It's the least I can do, you need to know how much I care for you” Aaron smiles as he slides his hand gently on to your cheek, cupping your face gently as you lean in giving him a quick kiss.

“I appreciate it, now come on we need to go see our team” Smiling as you pull away from him, biting your lip as you climb into the car.

~~~

“You made it” JJ squeals softly as you walk in, you’re trailing behind Aaron and Jack. Jack is quick to run outside where Henry and half the team is. 

“I did” Smiling lighty you walk over to her, Emily and Reid. 

“How have you been?” Reid asks, smiling a little.

“I’m okay, so over resting all the damn time” Laughing softly, your heart melting with the comfort of being surrounded by your family. 

“I remember that feeling, but you have to look after yourself” Emily gives you a stern look before sipping on her drink.

“Im trying” You reason, biting back a groan.

“We know, but we also know you” JJ smiles, a motherly look in her eyes.

“How did your meeting go today anyway, when are you coming back?” Emily presses on to her burning question, the one thing everyone tonight has been dying to now.

“Can we just wait until everyone is around, I don’t feel like repeating myself a million times” Forcing out  a chuckle as you watch the hope and excitement fade out of your three friends eyes.

“That bad huh?” JJ sighs, turning to the others.

“No, no it's not bad” You smile, glancing behind you at the incoming footsteps.

“Here, you don't have a drink yet” Rossi speaks from behind you, turning around smiling up at the man.

“Thanks Rossi” Taking it from him taking a deep breath as your fingers brush over his, glancing up you spot the rest of the team making their way over.  

“So (Y/n), when are you getting your ass back” Derek grins up at you, Penelope and Aaron following him over. 

“That's a complicated question” Sipping on your drink as you go over your answer, grateful to have Aaron coming to stand beside you. You can do anything with him beside you.

“What does that mean?” Penelope's eyes widen, fear entering her at the thought of her family breaking up.

“Look if Erin is giving you a hard time I will talk to her” Rossi automatically defends you, everyone's mind racing.

“No, Strauss isn’t the bad guy here, in fact she has been extremely helpful” Taking a deep breath before you continue. “I’m no longer under investigation, in face I’m welcome to return but I don’t want to, It’s my turn to move on, and look I know I owe you all so much for coming to my rescue, but I can’t do this job anymore I want to do something different with my life now” Your words come out filled with regret and guilt, your eyes full of sorrow as you talk, meeting everyone in your team's eyes. You have never felt closer and further away from them as you do right now, today is the start of a new beginning. 

“You’re leaving us?” Garica's eyes tears up, her heart racing.

“Look, we understand why you want to leave, but is there anything we can say to make you stay?” Emily looks hopelessly at you, but a small proud smile pulls at her lips. 

“Nothing, but hey I’m still going to be working at the FBI just not with the BAU anymore” You sigh, the feeling of sadness squishing your heart.

“I hope you know this doesn’t get you out of team nights still” Derek smiles at you, he knows how hard this decision was for you to make. 

“Oh I know” Laughing softly.

“So what are you going to be doing instead?” Rossi smiles at you, a lovingly proud look in his eyes. 

“I'm going to be the new FBI forensic scientist, so you guys will still have to work with me occasionally” Smiling at them, joy refilling the room.

“Oh, you’re taking over for Mary?” Garcia's face fills with excitement of course, she’s the one who works closely with that team more than the others.

“I am, so you guys can’t get rid of me that easily” The room fills with laughter once more.

“So that means you’re still coming to team nights right?” Reid asks. “You can’t just leave us all”

“Of course I will, plus” Smiling up at Aaron, catching his eyes his own smile grows as he gets the hint, his arm automatically wrapping around your waist as you lean into him. “Plus as your unit chiefs boyfriend I’ll be around more often” Pulling your eyes away from Aaron you glance around at the rest of the team, everyone's faces seem to be a mix of happiness and shock.

“Oh finally” Rossi cheers, laughing at the shocked looks around him.

“Wait, wait what” Morgan's open mouth slowly turns into a grin. “Seriously, you two thats awesome”

“Oh I knew there was something going on, I told you Emily” JJ smirks at Emily, who shakes her head smiling.

“Congrats you two” Emily smiles.

“That's so great, I'm happy for you both,” Reid smiles.

“Um Penelope, you're awfully quiet” You smile over at her, meeting her mischief filled eyes.

“I have been dying for you two too finally admit, I mean after you told me you kissed him months ago I have been waiting” She squeals.

“Wait, I told you, what, when?” Your eyes widen as you rack your brain trying to think.

“At the hospital when you were all drowsy from the medication” Aaron smirks down at you.  

“And you didn’t tell me this, traitor” Smirking at him teasingly as you kiss his cheek, earning a bunch of awws and laughs fill the room as Aaron blushes deeply, which he returns with a stern glare at you. 

The night slowly moves on, all full of laughter and chatter as the team all catches up and demands all the gossip on you and Aaron's relationship. Which you don’t mind at all talking about, happily opening up with your team. The only family you will ever only need by your side.

Tagging thoes that seem interesed or asked: @xweirdo101x @alecmores @yn-addams @winter-world @xdark-acadamiax @rexspersonalhell @hunterispunk @sammy-4103 @222244445555 @spiritzofthedead @sweetnothingsvulnerability @hepbaestus @bunbunbl0gs @mrblue-kai

Happy to untag or tag people let me know.

[girlybelle]

GUILTY PLEASURE — 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀. ⋅ fem reader

armin eats pussy for his pleasure. it's one time you see him fully lose control over himself, his mind becoming intoxicated by the sight of you all pretty and splayed over the bed, cunt glistening and exposed to his gaze like a juicy feast; the moment you saw the last drop of self control leave his brain at the godly sight.

“armin, s-slow down–fuck!” you plead helplessly but to no avail. your scent, your gorgeous sounds and your addicting body all took armin far too gone and the way he lapped and slurped greedily at your juices only attested to his lost sanity. you moaned and squirmed away as you felt yourself spiral inevitably down your second orgasm this night.

“you taste so good, angel... so, so good.” the vibrations his voice sent to your clit only loudened your shameless moans and drawed out the waves of your high, “you're so pretty.”

armin groaned when you desperately pulled back on his tousled hair, clearly overstimulated. his eyes were half-lidded, pupils blown wide, chin glistening and dripping a combination of your juices and saliva while he still clutched your sore thighs, seeming to be in a complete trance. armin's always been gentle, a kind, passionate and selfless lover who'd always put your needs before his, it was just the kind of person he was– which made your discovery of this layer of him all the more exciting and hot. the fact that this was a need of his and you were the trigger to bring out this side of his complex personality like a switch only amplified your ego and arousal for him. armin looked like a madman. and you shivered when his eyes bored into yours as he continued talking;

“and all mine too, right? you're all mine.” he said already bracing himself, to your panic.

“yes, baby. i-i am, but wait–”

“one more, sweetie. just one for me. i promise i just need one. i swear.” he chanted almost incoherently.

“m-min, wait–” his sudden dive in your core melted your sentence into a strangled moan as he began his devour on you implaccably once again.

and you would give him one more, armin would make damn sure of it. as your body writhed and squirmed helplessly at his mercy, you mused at the safe word you two had agreed on that was at your disposition at anytime, all you needed to do was say it and armin would be back to you with comfort and his sickly sweet words in an instant. and yet, you didn't. because you were obsessed with every side and layers of armin arlert's, and he was more than willing to give you a taste of every one of them.

by GIRLYBELLE.

[lamoobsessions]

Scorched Dissonance (Chapter 1)

Newt x (Fem)Reader

Synopsis: "Y/N. Group B. Subject B3. 'The Abandoned'." is left behind with Aris in the complex, their supposed "rescuers", put them in. Later, they find a group in a situation similar to their own, Group A. Together they must undergo "Phase Two" of the trials. Through it all, Y/N finds herself getting increasingly closer to a certain boy in Group A, Newt. Devotion rises and tension follows. With the outside world in shambles, can one still find warmth?

Word Count: 6k

Important Authors Note: Since I've finally finished this long ass fanfic on AO3, I'm going to post the first chapter here and idk maybe bring in some readers looking for something new :)

So if you enjoy, my AO3 is @lamolaine

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The thing about being trapped in a labyrinth for all your known life, is that you never truly leave. You can run away from those walls and never turn back, but mentally you're still there. Trapped and always dwelling over the next escape route.

It's been almost 24 hours since we escaped the maze, though it feels like ages ago. Not one moment passes where I don't think of those we lost. Rachel, Elise, Caroline, too many in such little time. The knot in my chest hasn't left since we escaped that maze. Thinking about that place and the people that were in it, makes every second feel like an eternity. Was there anything I could've done to prevent the casualties? What waits in store for us now since we escaped? So far, life outside the maze still feels like a big puzzle. One we have to solve in order to prosper.

I have these thoughts while I lay on my top bunk staring at the tiled ceiling. Sleep didn't visit me for long last night. I found it difficult to silence my mind for even one second. I can't be left with my own thoughts any longer, it only drags me further into a spiral.

Finally, I sit up, hoping to find another in a similar situation to my own- awake and unable to fall back asleep- but my heart sinks as I look around the bunk room. No one is in their bunk, in fact, there is no other in the room with me. Empty Beds encompany the bunk room, left un-tightly.

I quickly jump down from my bunk, panic begins to seep into my chest. Where could they have gone? Last I checked we were all locked in the bunkroom last night. How did I not hear all of them leave?

I could be overreacting, maybe they were directed to breakfast and wanted me to sleep in. I rush to the door, and though I anticipate it being locked, it opens swiftly. As I open the door I am met with more emptiness and silence. Not a single person in sight. I look around the empty complex, there is nothing where the cafeteria tables used to sit. All furniture was stripped from the common room. I rush down the halls, quickly checking all the doors in the complex. Door after door, locked. But there is one door I have yet to check and I can't believe I didn't think of checking it first.

I frantically head to Aris's room. Since he was the only boy in the group, the people who rescued us felt it was best he got his own room.

To my absolute shock, his door was unlocked. I swing it open, making it slam straight into the wall. Aris shoots up at the noise. His face kniited with confusion. Selfish as it is, a wave of relief overcomes me as I realize I'm not completely alone in this predicament.

"Aris!" I exclaim with a breath of relief, as I rush to his bed. His room mirrors the girls' bunk room exactly. About 14 bunk beds encompass the room and a single desk accompanies each bunk set. He lies on the bottom bunk directly across the door.

"Y/N?" He says, confusion laced in his tone. I stand at the foot of his bed, hands resting on the footboard.

"Everyone is gone. I can't find them anywhere. I searched every room I could and checked every door. I don't know what to do or how to get out. Almost every room is locked. We don't-" I babble frantically.

"Wait, slow down... I'm not even fully awake yet." he mumbles while rubbing his eyes, "What's happening?"

Impatiently I continue, "Aris, everyone is gone. I searched all I could of the building and no one else was there... We've been left behind." I explain. He sits for a moment, staring into my eyes, I assume processing what I told him.

He gets up, breaking eye contact, without saying a word. "What are you doing?" I question, eyeing him with discomposure.

"I'm going to see for myself." He states as he heads for the door, but stops and turns to look at me, "Not that I don't believe you or anything but you know... this is a weird wake-up call". I slightly roll my eyes at his statement, not out of annoyance but of restlessness. He puts his hand on the door knob and tries to open it but it doesn't budge. He tries again more aggressively, using his whole body this time. "The hell?" he mumbles. He turns around, meeting me with a questioning gaze.

"Let me try." I state, moving in front of him to try for myself. I twist the knob and the door doesn't budge. I begin to slam my body into it with frustration. Over and over but its no use. I give up and put my hands on my hips, "well shit..." I breathe, it's taking everything in me to not completely freak out.

"There has to be another way out. I'll look for vents or maybe find a way to break the steel bars on the windows," Aris says while he quickly makes his way around the room. I stand and watch Aris scatter around the room.

How did the door lock? If it was automatic I shouldn't have been able to get inside the room in the first place. Someone had to have locked it from the outside, but who? And how did I not see them? I join Aris on the search for another exit.

﹏

Nothing has been making sense. Aris and I searched the room for what must have been hours. Re-checking areas, making sure we didn't miss anything. We found absolutely nothing.

Now Aris paces the center of the room arms crossed, while I sit on the top bunk of his bed with my feet dangling over the edge. I've decided there is nothing to make sense of. Eventually, one of three things will happen. One, the people who rescued us will realize we did not come along and come back to us. Two, WCKD finds our location and takes us back. Or three, Aris and I die of starvation. The longer I sit here, outcome number three seems to be the most likely, since we don't have any food in the whole complex. We do have water, fortunately, thanks to the bathroom that is connected to the bunkrooms.

I look out the window and estimate its around late afternoon. We've been stuck in this dull bunkroom for only a afternoon and I already feel myself losing my mind. In the maze it was different. We were trapped but at least we had tasks to keep our minds distracted, in here we have nothing but each other and if I'm being honest Aris and I were never that close. He came up in the maze only 3 days before we escaped, so we didn't really get a chance to bond. At least not in the way he and Rachel did. They had an instant connection, I still don't quite understand, considering the little time they had together. But I can relate to his loss.

Caroline was my closest companion in the maze. We came up in the box at the same time as the first group of girls. We gravitated toward each other. Eventually becoming best friends. She was sweet, kind, caring, and the most selfless person I believe I've ever known. Although her selflessness was the exact thing that lead her to her demise. And I can't bare it.

"Hey Aris," I start, Instantly bringing him out of his pacing. "I'm sorry about Rachel." My sudden apology seems to catch him off guard, but he quickly recovers and sits down on his bed underneath the one I currently sit on.

"Thanks." He pauses, and for a moment I think he doesn't want to speak further, til he continues, "You don't have to apologize, its not your fault but my own."

I frown at his words, "Don't say that, you know she wouldn't want you to think that." I pause unsure of what to say, I never felt I was the best with words. "If it weren't for her who knows when we would have escaped that maze--"

"Yeah but that's the thing..." Aris interrupted, "she didn't have to die, it was me who was in front of that gun, I was supposed to-" He chokes on his words and begins to break down. I jump down from my bunk and sit down next to him, squeezing his shoulder.

"That's not true, no one was supposed to die." I consult, "Even if it were true, here you are now. What happened, happened. She chose to make that sacrifice and now its up to you to choose what to make of that." We sit there for a moment, Aris slows his breathing a bit, taking in what I said. I decided I should probably leave him be and get some sleep. I stand and start to head to my bunk until Aris speaks.

"I'm sorry about Caroline, I know you and her were close", I freeze at the thought of her for a moment, till I muster a soft 'thank you' and head up to my bed. I feel relieved that Aris doesn't try to consult further. I don't think I'd be able to talk about her. Her smile, her laugh, her voice. I hope that one day I will be able to think of these details with fondness and gratuity rather than grief.

﹏

I wake to the sound of Aris shuffling in his bed. Sleep came surprisingly easy last night.

I find myself becoming somewhat motivated to take a shower, since I don't have much else to do. I get down from my bed and check the door once more and twist the knob... still locked. As I turn around, I notice Aris is awake. He looks at me and shrugs his shoulders, insinuating he was thinking the same thing I was thinking. It was worth a shot.

"I'm getting in the shower, do you have any spare clothing in here?" I ask, he yawns groggily, seemingly still waking himself up.

"Yeah uh- check the drawers in the corner over there" He points to the east corner of the room. I scour through the drawer and pick out a pair of grey sweatpants and a white long sleeve.

I take my time in the shower, cherishing the feeling of the hot water traveling down my back. A feeling I felt deprived of in the maze. I've showered a total of 3 times since arriving here and it's almost been 2 days. I still feel like I haven't scrubbed the feeling of the glade off my body. It lingers on my skin and I fear it will always be there– part of me.

I dress myself in my sweats and my sports bra. While I dry my hair, I believe to hear conversation outside the bathroom. Is Aris talking to himself? But the voices are different. They can't be coming from one person. They range in distance.

I try to listen more closely, still standing in front of the mirror. I can barely make out what is being said but the voices get closer.

"Who is in there?" a voice asks accusingly.

"Hey man I wouldn't open that door if I were you" I hear, what I believe to be Aris's voice, point out.

"Why? You hiding something?" the voice asks, suddenly the bathroom door swings open. An Asian boy around my age makes eye contact with me, his eyes widen and he closes the door in a flash. I feel myself too stunned to move. Who the hell was that? Snapping myself out of my thoughts I hear others question what was behind the door.

"It's... a girl." The boy announces. I hear the room burst into conversation. I immediately put on my shirt and open the door. I'm immediately hit with a strong overt smell, a smell that wasn't present before my shower. I can't help but cringe as I hit the open air.

The smell becomes the least of my worries as I look around the room.

Conversation stops and a group of boys are gathered in Aris and I's room. They all look at me with a mix of confusion and awe, like they haven't ever seen a girl before. I set my gaze on Aris who still sits on his bed, seemingly still shocked by the whole situation.

I look back at the group of boys once again, "Who the hell are you guys?" I ask with clear confusion in my tone. My eyes catch a certain blonde, who stares back in curiosity. A wave of familiarity hits me, like a slap in the face.

"We were just asking your buddy here the same thing." I shift my gaze to a boy with brown hair and blue eyes, Whose tone was overcome with frustration.

I look to Aris, who rolls his eyes keeping eye contact with the brown hair kid.

"Look man," Aris says "I'm not telling you who we are until you tell us who you all are."

The blonde with deep brown eyes speaks up, a thick accent lacing his words. "Don't bloody mess around. There are lot more of us than there are of you, so tell us who you both are."

Aris looks like he is about to snap. Just before he erupts I cut him off, "I'm Y/N," I greet and motion to my bunkmate, " that's Aris."

Aris speaks up again, "Anything else you wanna know?" He says in a mocking tone. The brown hair kid looks as if he is about to punch Aris, but he continues to question.

"How did you get here? And what happened to the girl that slept here last night?" Aris and I share a questioning look with each other. Who even are these guys? And What is this guy on about? What girl? He can't possibly mean me.

"What girl? I'm the only girl who slept here last night and its been that way for the past 24 hours" I announce.

The brown hair kid points to the door out into the common area. "There's a sign right out there that says this is her room. Teresa...Agnes. No mention of two shanks named Y/N and Aris."

Something in Aris switches, he seems to have finally ground himself a bit, his expression becoming more neutral. "Look man, I don't know what you're talking about. They put us in here 2 days ago, we slept in this bunk"- he gestures to the bunk he sits on– "I woke up about 15 minutes ago and have never heard the name Teresa Agnes in my life."

The group looks to me as if expecting me to confirm Aris's explanation, I do so with a nod. The brown-haired kid and the blonde, share a look. Like they are having a silent conversation.

"So who put you both in here the other night?" the blonde asks.

"We don't really know. A bunch of people with guns rescued us and put us here." I try to explain, leaving out the rest of the group. I didn't feel like explaining that whole situation when I didn't quite understand it myself.

"Rescued you from what?" the brown hair kid asks.

I answer bluntly, "The maze."

The group looks at us in disbelief. Some with their mouths agape, I certainly don't feel like explaining the whole maze concept to them.

"We have a lot to talk about." the brown hair kid says.

"What do you mean?" Aris looks at him in confusion, I mirror his expression.

"The Maze, The Grievers, WICKED, you name it." He responds.

Now it was Aris and I turn to have our mouths agape. "You're lying," Aris accuses, his voice dropped to a whisper, his face now pale.

The blonde speaks up, "Thomas is right, We need to talk. Sounds like we've come from similar places."

"You all came from a maze too? When did you escape?" I ask my curiosity getting the best of me. They could very well be lying to gain our trust, but something tells me they are telling the truth. It would make sense, they all seem to be around our age, which seems to be WICKED's target subject group.

"We escaped yesterday, brought here last night," Thomas, as the blonde called him, explains. Then he turns to his group, "Before we explain all that, we need to find Teresa. She must be in some other room."

"Isn't one." I remark.

Thomas looks back at me in question, "What do you mean?"

"Ran this whole complex the other day. There's that big common area,"-- I gesture outside the door– "this room, your dorm room, and some seriously locked up doors that have been chained up by our rescuers" I emphasize my sarcasm on rescuers, given that they are responsible for trapping us here.

Thomas furrows his brows, disappointed at my statement. I feel myself empathize with him a bit, "Although you could check again, It's been a bit since Aris and I left this room. We've been locked up in here since yesterday morning, so who knows maybe something has opened up." I mention, in hopes that maybe it will lift his spirits. But to no avail, he looks more disappointed and confused.

"But what about last night? Where'd the food come from? Did anyone notice other rooms? A kitchen, anything?" Thomas looks around looking for an answer but everyone stays silent, knowing the answer. Thomas's mention of food makes me notice the pit in my stomach. How come they ate last night and Aris and I didn't hear a thing? When was the last time I ate?

"Maybe there's a hidden door?" The Asian kid proclaims, "We can run the building again and look, but we need to do one thing at a time. We need to–"

"No!" Thomas interrupts "We have all day to talk to those two shanks, we need to find Teresa now! What if she's in trouble?" Thomas gives the room a look of disappointment and storms out the room in search of the girl named Teresa.

The group watches Thomas leave then their gazes shift to Aris and me.

"Sorry about him, he and Teresa were close. He's just... a little stressed." the blonde explains.

"A little..." Aris mumbles as I elbow him.

"It 's fine, I get it." I say as I turn to the blonde, "Now that we introduced ourselves, mind if you tell us who you all are?"

"Right, sorry. I'm Newt" he gestures to his other friends insinuating for them to introduce themselves.

"Minho. And uh- sorry about the bathroom thing," he awkwardly adds.

I laugh at his sudden change in demeanor, "It's fine, really. Just maybe knock next time." He lets out an abash laugh.

The others continue to introduce themselves and I try my best to memorize all their names, though I was never good with names. It took me all the 3 years we were in the maze to remember everyone's name, including the greenies.

﹏

There wasn't much room for everyone to sit with all the bunk beds scattered. So we all moved the beds against the wall, making the room more spacious and less crowded. Once everyone was settled in their spots, Thomas had finally come back from his hiatus. He entered the room, a look of obvious defeat on his face.

Minho pats a spot on the floor next to him, "They tried to tell ya, dude. Have a seat and let's talk." Without responding Thomas takes a seat.

"All right, let's get started on the bloody storytellin' so we can get to the real problem --finding something to eat." Newt says.

"Amen." I agree, holding my abdomen. The pit in my stomach has turned into an aching knot.

"Good that." Minho says turning to me and Aris, "Now you two. Talk. Tell us everything."

Aris shakes his head, "No way. You guys go first." They stare daggers at each other, my eyes shift from Minho's to Aris's, watching the tension grow.

"Yeah?" Minho responds sharply, "How about we all just take turns beating the living klunk out of your shuck face? Then we'll ask you to talk again."

"Minho," Newt says sternly. "There's no reason–"

Minho Interrupts, "Please, for all we know these two shanks could be with the creators. Somebody with WICKED, here to spy on us. They could have killed those people out there, they are–"

"Wait-wait, slow down. What people?" I ask. How could they not mention this?

"Don't be like that! You've had to have known about those people out there. I mean do you not smell them?" Minho emphasizes loudly.

That's where that smell is coming from...

"Yes I have noticed that smell," I exasperate, "I first noticed it went I walked out of that bathroom." I point to the bathroom door, "So if I'm being honest I genuinely thought that smell... came in with all of you." I hold back a smile and notice Minho growing with frustration.

Newt holds back a laugh but quickly composes himself with a cough, "Minho...relax, I doubt those two are capable of killing those people out there"

"Thank you!" Aris says

"But," Newt cuts Aris off, "He's got a point. Just tell us what you meant about coming from the buggin' maze. That's where we escaped from, and we obviously haven't met you."

Aris rolls his eyes in defeat. I decided I should probably be the one to talk about our maze. "I think its safe to say we came from two separate mazes. It wouldn't surprise me if WCKD had made more than one maze. I mean those greedy little bastards can't get enough of torturing kids." I pause for confirmation on my theory. I hear murmurs of agreement and take it as a sign to continue. "So, I was thrown in this gigantic maze made of huge stone walls– but before that, my memory was erased. I couldn't remember anything about my life before. I just knew my name." I look to Aris to see if he wants to add anything, and he intervenes for me.

"It was a Glade full of girls, making me the only boy. We escaped a few days ago with a group and were placed here. Until yesterday morning when the group vanished leaving me and Y/N here stranded." Aris explains as I nod in support. "What's this stuff about you being in a maze too?" He adds.

"It's the same shucking experiment" Minho murmurs, bewildered.

"It was the same for us, except we were a glade full of boys and one girl." Newt adds.

"Did things start going haywire when the girl showed up? And the person before the girl?" I ask.

"Yes! Things started to change fast" Newt says.

I notice Thomas turns to Aris. Finally joining the conversation. "Did they call you the trigger"? He questions Aris. Aris quickly nodded with wide eyes. "And could you..." Thomas began but hesitated for a moment, "Could you speak to one of those girls inside your mind? You know, like telepathically?" Aris's eyes widen further at Thomas's words, his skin impossibly turns another shade paler. They take a moment both staring at each other, seconds pass. Newt, Minho, and I all share a look of confusion and discomfort.

"What is going on?" Newt asks, now looking between the two of them. "Why're you guys looking at each other like you just fell in love?"

I laugh at his remark, "Seriously, you both look like you're about to share a kiss." I add.

The rest of the group and I share a laugh while Aris and Thomas come back to reality.

"He can do it too." Thomas answers.

"Do what?" one of the group members asked. I think I recall him calling himself Frypan.

"What do you think? He's a freak like Thomas, they can talk in each other's heads." Minho pronounces.

"Serious?" Newt asks glaring at Thomas, who shakes his head in confirmation, dumbfounded he found someone with a similar ability. "Can you?" Newt questions, turning to me.

"Nope." I answer blatantly. I knew Aris and Rachel used to share the same ability, so if Thomas's maze was just like ours maybe he shared that ability with someone as well. Maybe that's who Teresa is.

"Doesn't matter who can do it and who can't. Why did your group leave you behind? You traitors or something?" Minho probes.

"We don't really know why, they just kind of disappeared." I answer, and the group eyes me in disbelief. "Look, I know it's hard to believe but it's true. Why would we lie about being abandoned by our group? It embarrassing to admit if anything."

The group stays silent. Some seem to be contemplating our honesty while others attempt to put pieces together.

Aris pips up, "Listen, we are just as confused as all of you. We got separated, then you sticks showed up."

"Sticks?" Minho smirks.

"Never mind, it's not important. Just stupid slang they used in our maze." Aris rolls his eyes. The boys share a slight smile with one another. Realizing both our mazes created their own vocabulary. Shank. A word I hope isn't too derogatory, as they have been calling us this since they first arrived.

Suddenly Frypan gestures to Aris, "What's that on your neck, man?"

I look to Aris and to my surprise there seems to be some sort of lettering on his skin, peaking out of his t-shirt.

"What?" Aris responds, his eyes widening. "Is it a bug?" He frantically grabs his t-shirt and attempts to look at his neck.

I let out a small chuckle, "No you stick," I say moving his t-shirt aside without thinking. Then I see what it is, my heart skips a beat. "It's...it's a tattoo?" I mutter.

"What? When- How did that even get there?" He asks. I stare at it, he definitely didn't have that before. Someone would have noticed.

"What does it say?" Minho questions

I begin to read off the tattoo, "Property of WICKED. Group B. Subject B1... The Partner."

Aris whips his head around, "Wha- what does that even mean?" He mutters.

"Are you really insinuating that tattoo just appeared out of the blue? Overnight? Without you knowing..." Thomas challenges.

"I swear man I had no idea that was there!" Aris counters fearfully, his hands in the air and eyes darting around the room.

"Aris...no offense but you have a crazy low pain tolerance." I say, recalling his time in the maze. In the little time he was there he would often visit me at the HealTec hut complaining about some innocuous splinter or ingrown toenail he got from the running shoes. I continue, "How would you not notice a whole tattoo being plastered on your neck and back?" Aris looks at me, giving me a look that so clearly asks, 'Whose side are you on?' I shrug in indifference.

"Speak for yourself." Minho pipes up, "I think you have one too." He points to my neck.

I freeze. There is no way I wouldn't notice, "I'm sorry?" I mutter.

Aris turns me around so my back faces him. "Holy shit...he's right."

"What? What does it say?" I question holding up the back of my t-shirt.

I can feel Aris grow nervous, making me feel even more unsettled. It can't be that bad.

Newt leans in and reads it aloud for him, "Property of WICKED. Group B. Subject B3. The Abandoned."

"Oh well... that's sweet of them." I say sarcastically, pulling my shirt back down. "Aris, you were left behind too, how come yours says 'The partner'?" I turn to face him. The room has grown into slight whispers.

"How am I supposed to know?" Aris responds, clearly taken aback by the current situation.

"Maybe its referring to something else." Minho suggests impatiently, "But you two can't possibly think we are going to believe you two just miraculously woke up with tattoos."

Aris and I look at each other, an explanation escaping us both. Not quite sure how to get these guys to believe us. Until I look over to Minho, my eyes catching a certain ink mark peaking out from his shirt neckline. One similar to Aris and I's.

"Um...you have a-uh" I gesture to my own neck in reference to his.

"What? You run out of excuses?" Minho continues to question.

Newt looks to Minho, his eyes widen as they land on the ink stain, "No you shank! She is referring to your neck! You have a tattoo too!" He lifts his friends' shirt.

"What?" Minho questions, looking over his neck at Newt. "Do we all have shucking tattoos?"

With Minho's comment, the room bursts with conversation. Each boy looks to their buddy and reads out their tattoos.

Newt reads out Minho's, "Property of WICKED. Group A, Subject A7. The Leader."

"What? Dude." Minho quickly turns to Thomas, "You're kiddin' me, man." Thomas shrugs his shoulders and turns around silently asking Minho to read his off. I almost want to laugh at the whole situation. One moment they are accusing us of lying and the next the whole group is scattering to find out what their own tattoos read.

Newt turns to me, "You mind?" he questions, gesturing to his tattoo. I hesitate, slightly caught off guard.

"Uh- Not at all." I reply, lifting the side of his shirt. "You're subject A5 and they called you the Glue." I release his shirt as he turns to look at me.

"The Glue?" he inquires furrowing his brows.

I shrug, "Way better than 'The Abandoned'." I joke, trying to make light of the situation.

He smiles and lets out a breathy laugh, "I suppose so." I suddenly overhear Thomas pestering Minho about his tattoo.

"What? What does it say?" Thomas catechizes, but Minho just stares. Presumably unable to speak. Thomas turns his head towards the group, "Can someone tell me what this shucking says?"

Aris scoots over to look, his face immediately mimicking Minho's expression. "Uh... It-" he clears his throat, "It says... Property of WICKED. Group A, Subject A2... To be killed by Group B." He looks anxiously over at Thomas who is staring straight ahead as if he couldn't decide if he should be fearful or confused by his title.

Before anyone could say anything, an alarm sounded, blasting through the entire complex. A familiar alarm, I've heard it before. The recognition flashes in my mind just long enough for me to grasp where I've heard it. The newbie alarm, although this time it's more distinct and prominent. I assume it's due to the more confined space the alarm sound is traveling through.

Everyone seems to be thinking the same thing. Their faces crossed with familiarity, cupping their ears for protection.

Newt is the first to shout over the noise, "It's the bloody Greenie alarm!"

"I know!" hollers Thomas, "Why's it ringing?"

The others shrug. Frypan heads for the door but Thomas pushes himself infront of him. "Wait!" he intergects.

"What?"

"I don't know," Thomas replies, "It's an alarm. Maybe something really bad is happening!"

Frypan looks at him quizzically, "Uh yeah, and maybe we need to get out of here!" Without waiting for a reply Frypan pushes past Thomas and tries for the door. The door doesn't budge. He puts his weight into it, shoulder first. No dice.

Thomas is next to try. Body square with the knob ,he aggressively fumbles with it. Until he stops and turns to face the room...knob in hand.

"Fantastic," I mutter under my breath, though not loud enough to be heard over the alarm.

"You broke the Shuck handle!" Minho barks. Thomas slaps the door with the palm of his hand out of frustration. For a moment everyone is still, waiting for the alarm to stop.

As if the group's prayers were answered, the alarm stops. And silence has its own sound once again.

Newt breaks the silence, "Don't tell me we are going to get bloody greenies in this place."

"Where is the box in this shuck place?" Minho mutters sarcastically.

The door creaks open and everyone's heads turn toward the sound. The common room is pitch black, and the lights outside are turned off.

I turn to Aris, "Looks like we aren't grounded in our rooms anymore." I smirk. He chuckles in slight relief. I look at the group A boys and none of them have moved.

"You first." Minho gestures to Frypan.

"No way dude, what if somethings out there."

I let out a deep breath and shuffled my way through the crowd of boys, "Bicker all you want, I'm out." I say as I exit the room into the dark common area. "You guys know where the light switch is?" I examine, skimming my hands gently across the wall.

"Should be to your left!" Minho answers following behind me.

"Oh, I feel it!" I switch the lights on. The sudden brightness sends my eyes into fluorescent shock.

"Why did they even turn the lights off in the first place? Or even better, who turned them off?" Thomas sweats.

Minho looks back at Thomas, a mocking smirk painted on his face. "Why do you even bother asking questions, dude? Nothing has ever made sense."

"And it probably never will," Newt adds with a sigh, as he enters the newly lit room with his hands on his hips.

I look around the common room. it's probably been 24 hours since I've left that bunk room, but I can't help but reminisce about the first time I had entered the common area. The day my group escaped the maze. Most were skeptical about our rescue but grateful for the food and showers nonetheless. It was the first smile I had seen on my friends' faces in a while.

I look at the others, they all seem to be taken back. Something obviously bothers all of them.

Before I can question, Thomas whispers, "Impossible." He walks further into the common room near the east hall. "It's impossible, not enough time has passed for someone to get the bodies out. And no way people came into this buggin' room, we would have heard them!"

I remember the bodies Minho mentioned before. I notice the putrid smell that once encompassed the air is gone. Completely. No trace that there were ever bodies in the room in the first place. I stay silent. Not sure how to respond to the circumstances. I could question them further. Ask if they are sure they saw what they described. But bodies or no bodies, there is nothing in this room now. The questions I have wouldn't get us anywhere.

Minho inquires further. "You're right. We were in that bunkroom for what? Twenty minutes? No way anyone could have moved all those bodies that quickly. Plus, this place is chained up from the inside."

"Not to mention get rid of the smell."Thomas builds.

"Well, you shanks are right smart." Frypan says through a huff. "But take a look around. They're gone. So whatever you think, somehow they got rid of them."

Other group members have migrated to their own bunkroom. A boy whose name I don't recall comes out of the other room, "The beds are made and the drawers are stocked with fresh clothes and new shoes!" He cheers and enters back into the room.

"New watches as well!" Another boy shouts from the room.

I notice for the first time that there aren't that many boys in the group. They must have lost a lot of people in their maze. If they started out with 50 boys in their maze as mine did girls, then they must have lost a lot of people. For this, I can only sympathize further with the group. We are only kids, after all, we shouldn't be experiencing such tremendous loss at our age.

My stomach growls, pulling me out of my thoughts. I realize I haven't eaten since the night we first arrived in this complex, making me slightly lightheaded. I ask Aris to help me in my search for a trace of food or at least supplies to prep our own. Praying that something has opened up since I last checked the complex doors.

We agree to split up, I search the north side, and he searches the south.

We meet up after 15 minutes of testing every door in the complex. Neither of us found a thing. I'm worried if we will ever be given another meal. According to the bodies Minho and his group found, our saviors are supposedly dead after all. Or maybe we were never rescued in the first place. For all we know this could all be WCKD's doing once again. Maybe our next big challenge is to find an exit from this complex and defend ourselves in the mysterious outside world. Whatever is going on, whatever lies in store for us, I'm finally free of that maze

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