#I AM SP STARVED

[kennysdeadbody]

I NEED more princess kenny and human kite art im begging you

im not rly taking reqs rn but how could i say no to them

[piningpercussionist]

Since yuri is gonna get canceled, can we be yuri for the time being? I promise to not throw you into a river!!!!!!!!

*She stares flatly at you for several (painfully long) seconds before answering.*

... No.

Also, why would you feel the need to add that last bit? I trust you people approximately not at all to begin with, but that just... does not help your case. Ever.

[cherry-shipping]

horrortale sans 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[thecosmicangel]

It may seem hard but it’s actually EASY!! what you need to do if you really want something is focus and only place your attention/awareness on the things you want to experience. All other “noise” from the outside world or the voice that doubts & fears ignore it & don’t identify with it, because it is not you!! You starve out your unwanted thoughts by simply ignoring them or just tell yourself “no that is not true” and continue to feed your thoughts that favor your new identity/story. That is how you embody who you want to me. It doesn’t matter if you see it in your physical reality or not you keep persisting by embodying the person who has it + you are the only validation needed so who cares what your physical reality is showing you.

What does it mean to embody?

It means to think only thoughts the version of you who has it would think. Even if other thoughts pop out pay them no attention 🚫 and continue to focus on the thoughts that support your new story✅ Even if you are seeing something else continue to focus on what you want. Be stubborn about what you want and don’t let nothing stop you.

⭐️⭐️⭐️Now let’s give you an example of Star, she is manifesting an SP

✅ thoughts :

“I am already back together in a fully, committed fulfilling loving relationship with _______”

“______ is always taking me out on dates

“_____ loves me”

“I am the only one for ____”

“I already know it’s done, there is nothing else I have to do because I already have it”

🚫 thoughts:

“When or how are they going to come in?

What if they have someone else

What if they don’t like me

What if they forgot me

The last time they told me _____ so how can it be?

I keep persisting and acting as if but I still see no movement

Is it working? Am I doing everything right?

Or simply replaying the old unwanted story & circumstances

- xoxo, the cosmic angel ⭐️🪽

[syn4k]

🌿

unfortunately the only way to solve not wanting to create things is to not create things until you want to create things again.

"but Six!" i hear you protest over the angry yells of all my followers. "that can't be true! i hate that!"

i hate it too. But listen up you self loathing chucklefucks this is IMPORTANT.

if your brain and body is telling you that you are tired and that you need to take a break, fucking listen to them. Do not ignore them and continue making things anyways.

I do not give a fuck about your making one thing per day streak. I do not give a fuck about your follower count or engagement or statistics or whatever the fuck. I do not fucking care how stubborn you are. This rule is set in the laws of the universe itself just like the laws of physics are.

If you do not schedule time for yourself to recharge, your body will automatically do it for you and it WILL NOT ASK POLITELY.

that's what burnout and writer's block IS! you cant make shit if you're too fucking tired and depressed and busy trying to function as a person and don't have any energy left over for creative work! creating things takes ENERGY and EFFORT even the most self loathing low quality shitpost stick figure youve ever doodled on the back of an napkin. That takes effort too. This is your body realizing that you're going past your own limits despite everything and forcibly shutting you down so that you physically fucking cannot anymore for your own health.

Full stop.

If you take the time that you need to rest and regain energy and use it instead to continue doing things that require energy, your body will force you to allocate that time to rest at some point eventually.

So yeah. Sleep in hard over the weekends. Do nothing. Be unproductive. Fuck capitalism and FUCK the Protestant work ethic. I am being so fucking serious right now. This isn't just me repeating what I've heard, this is me sharing things that I've had to learn the hard way over the span of literal fucking years because my dumb ass kept ignoring it too.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, politely turn down outings with friends and family if you're too tired.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, take a day off from school or work if you wake up and know in your bones that you are too tired. (Make sure to let your teachers know beforehand. They'll understand. Skipping a day of work is a whole nother can of radioactive horses that I don't want to open right now but others here may have advice. Check the notes.)

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, do nothing.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, be "lazy" (if you're not enjoying the forced time off, you're not being lazy).

If you can only do the bare minimum to take care of yourself (i.e making low-effort meals, only using the bathroom twice a day, etc) then that's okay too. The more you rest, the more energy you'll slowly build up to do more things like going to the grocery store so that you don't starve and getting those assignments done and taking an extra two minutes to make yourself a glass of something warm in the mornings so that you don't want to die quite as much. Also, when you can, ask your friends for a script and call your doctor about prescribing you depression medication because I love you and this is not normal and you deserve better.

Living life is not supposed to make you want to die, and surviving is not the same as living.

your body has a built in hierarchy of needs and at the top of the list is creating things, which you can only do once you're at a certain level of energy and wellness. if something's wrong, your drive to create will be the first to go.

it's scary, but you'll be okay

be gentle and kind to yourself. imagine that your brain and body is a horse: kicking it when it's down and yelling at it to move won't help. you have to meet it where it's at and feed it and comfort it until it's ready to move on again. you can't write trail songs if you've got no path to roam

this quickly spiraled out of my hands but i am very passionate about this subject and also i love u. good luck.

[boyish-reassurances]

==> I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU

u can call me vi ^_^ some other names i go by areee: vincent, tavros, henry, jason, or kanaya !! (upd. 09/27 ) :P usually depends on the kinshifts !!!

i am a minor (15 !) ++ my birthday is july 27th !

i am ""cringe"" but i am free :3c

you can check out more info on my pronoun.cc here !

tag table of contents :33

#vi art tag - art tag || #vi fic tag - fanfics :3 || #askbox - asks || #melliotstuck - my melliot/homestuck au!! || #for robin - for my boyfriend robin :D

thats it i live life on the edge 💗🔥

bronzeblooded knight of life :3

spam / vent - @bicknellmaxxing

==> WHAT DO YOU LIKE?

some stuff i'm interested are: musicals (melliot , six , rtc , we are the tigers , starkid), shows like adventure time, invader zim, n steven universe, forest critters like bunnies, raccoons & deer, and lots of video games!!

i primarily like to play survival games, and my biggest sp/in out of these has always been don't starve together :)

i also really enjoy making playlists & listening to music! some of my favorite artists right now are childish gambino, tyler the creator, melliot, yannick mirko, julien baker, alex g, n more! i have a big broad music taste and always look to expand it further!!

feel free 2 request a playlist for a character / ship (as long as its in a fandom im familiar with :') ) n i will try to get to it eventually!! i love doing that stuff for fun :3

i like drawing n writing and i also really enjoy crafts ^_^ i like making bracelets and want to learn abt kandi more!!!

==> HEADS UP

i can bounce between moods sorta quickly or erratically! i have a generally low social battery, or run through my energy very quickly

sometimes i can over-shoot/overestimate how close i am and genuinely just love having people 2 call my friend - if i ever overstep or break boundaries please let me know D:

i like complimenting and being affectionate with my friends! please let me know if this makes u uncomfy!!

THANK YEW FOR READING!!!! if u wanna talk feel free 2 message me here or anywhere else! discord is boyishreassurances :3

[valentine-cafe]

;-; i was going to send an ask for the artful reaper because he is among the characters i think haven't had much shown for yet (at least i think, in comparison to others?) but i ended up reading a bit more about him and now i have a problem ;-; i have many ideas for him so let me just say a few amd you can pick if you wanna answer any?

-i love bunnies so would he be okay if his darling asked to play with/ cuddle essio, reassuring him they'd be really gentle

-since he is touch starved can i nuzzle him-

-how would he react if someone who crushed on him wrote about him in a poetic way, about how wonderful he is and maybe also like, mentioning little things he does that he might not be aware of, but in an endearing light. Like, making the mundane parts about him sound lovely too

(- would he be okay with his darling asking him to turn into the dark vapour thing and watch him fly around, it sounds very cool-)

I know there are a lot- but he's cute and i don't have self control 😣🙇 Wishing you both a great day!!

-🌹❤️

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ verse 9948e hàoyú ⊹ ۪ ࣪

. ˚◞꒰ 🍡 grim reaper x reader ꒱

𖹭. ‘i love bunnies so would he be okay if his darling asked to play with/ cuddle essio, reassuring him they'd be really gentle’

. ˚ oh but he would be more than thrilled to allow you to play and pamper essio as much as you wanted, watching you with as a smile as you and the bunny eventually fall asleep by the large flowerbushes in the estate garden.

wandering over to you quietly with two cups of tea in his hands, a small smile of serene peace finds his lips the second he catches sight of you and the bunny huddled up right next to the large, vibrant flower bushes.

with swift moves, he reaches the both of you in no time.

giving you a little nudge and pressing a kiss to your cheek as he gently places the cup of tea into your hand, he watches as your eyes open ever so slowly, while his hand that previously held his tea is placed in the soft grass to move down and pet essio. he looks into your eyes with everlasting love.

“Enjoying your time with the baby in the shade hm? you are adorable xin gan” he hums pressing a little kiss to your lips and drawing a giggle from you

𖹭. ‘since he is touch starved can i nuzzle him-’

. ˚ always darling, the first thing he does every day he wakes up is to reach over to you and pulls you close — and when you are not there, he gets all pouty and solemn, he needs someone to cling onto and be able to kiss all over.

the second you reached over to him and gently took him be the arm, wrapping it around yourself so that he brings you closer, he looks down at you with a big smile.

“gege, give me a kiss” you ask with a soft smile on your face, index pointing at the two plush lips that await his.

“oh but my dear, who am i to deny such thing?” he murmurs and presses his lips against yours, lovingly, with a small amount of yearning as well — it is not hard to tell he has missed your touch, despite the fact it had only been a few minutes ago since he last kissed you breathless, holding you close.

squeezing your waist and leaning down to press another kiss to your lips before moving a kiss to your nose, he pulls you in close and slowly sits the both of you down on the grass.

“rest on me, my love? you look like you could use the rest. and i shall hold you until you wake once again”

𖹭. ‘ him, how would he react if someone who crushed on him wrote about him in a poetic way, about how wonderful he is and maybe also like, mentioning little things he does that he might not be aware of, but in an endearing light. Like, making the mundane parts about him sound lovely too’

. ˚ but darling it’d make his entire reaper heart melt, flutter in ways it never has. he has not had many things like that in his life before — often being the artist painting the muses. you would make tears well up in his eyes. he would feel so loved

“you continue to tend the garden of hope, the one which the green and hearty palms of you sowed and assured would grow vibrant. spirits born in the technicolored arrays of light of the flowers and the glow your soul gives them — the smallest parts of you, they are delicate and admired. whether it is by the way you tilt your glasses to the side before adjusting them to be straight on the brink of your nose.

the way you subtly hum when something stirs wonder within your mind, the curious pout you give and the way it makes this heart of mine throb in ways unable to be described.

you never realise your own beauty, but teach others to see what they carry and sprout like the nightshade you help heal when they have withered.

it would be the littlest of things that you did and you would have this fast, warm blooded heart of mine skip a few beats to take a few more moments to properly feel the radiance of your presence.

your smile, though you hate it, is one of the most beautiful things i have ever seen — reminicent to that of the midnight moon, it shines and draws me to it and you have no idea

you planted this seed within my soul and made it grow to eventually blossom, and the love that i hold for you is something i cannot help but express through reminding you of how much beauty your being as a whole carries.”

the words written on the paper makes his own, slow beating, cold, heart squeeze and tears well up in his eyes, the crystalline liquid rolling down his face.

he lets out the smallest sob, drying his eyes as he leans back in his chair and grazes his tongue against one of his sharp teeth. inhalnig deeply before letting out a shaky exhale.

smiling to himself, all he whispers to himself is the quietest: “he/she/they makes me feel so loved I don’t even think they understand. . . how can someone be so lovely.”

𖹭. ‘- would he be okay with his darling asking him to turn into the dark vapour thing and watch him fly around, it sounds very cool-’

. ˚ he’d give you so many warm hearty laughs the second you asked if he’d put on the little show for you, happily doing it if it meant you’d have something to study about him again.

“You want me to cloud eh?” he teases, poking gently at your ribs and chuckling when you swat away his hand embrassed.

“stop teasing me! it’d be so cool i just wanna see!!” you pout, looking away and give him a little smile.

with another few laughs and teases, he turns into the big cloud of dark vapor, circling around you for a bit, before kissing you abrutly.

it’s such a weird feeling, but oddly refreshing? it’s the way you can feel his actual lips beneath all the vapor, yet you feel he isn’t his physical self either — an airy feeling across your lips sending sparks through you.

and before you can try and kiss back he starts circling you again before rushing all the way across the garden, his laughter echoing through the entire estate grounds.

[carmenthabaddie]

Tracking my weight loss by buying and trying on small size.

I use to be addicted to the scale. I would spiral when I gained. Fast forward today I stopped weighing myself so much. The scale lies. Honestly I don’t care about size. I just want look good in clothes and naked.

The scale goes up and down for many reasons. You should never stress about number on scale. It’s that type of thinking that makes you sabotage your weight loss journey. Been there done that. I refuse to diet and starve myself. Food is not the enemy society paints it too be. I stopped calorie counting and eating in moderation and portion control. Nothing against it. It just messes with my self esteem. I rather intermittent fast and eat in moderation and lose that way.

I planned all my workouts for January ahead of time to be accountable and no excuses and being intentional with my time. I will weight left at gym. Gone schedule meal prepping days and eventually do a 3 day juice fast. Maybe at end of this month. I’m in it to win. Spent blood, sweat and tears and finally seeing light at end of tunnel.

I know my grandma gone be jealous when Iose cause she refuses to make healthy choices. Lot people gone be mad I’m slim thick. But my sp David will be proud and that’s all that matters to me. Losing weight is easy. Gotta put your mind to it. Show yourself you are ready for change and start small and little progress is still progress. It’s all about mindset ladies.

I forgot where but someone I saw on social media suggestion instead of going by scale. Go by clothes. It’s more satisfying to try on smaller item and it fit. That’s a good way track progress. I bought 3 on sale Fashion Nova dresses to track my progress every few weeks I will try on till it fits and be happy when it fits and it make me realize I lost weight.

I go to mental health building for monthly shot and they weigh me. Once I’m weighed at mental health. And it helps me mentally cause scale can be deceiving and tell lies not true. Last time I was 222 pounds and on the 3rd hope be 218 pounds. It’s so easy to manifest weight loss. And i listen to my custom affirmations videos.

I am doing 16:8 intermittent fasting and goal is do 7 days and not break it early. Some days do 20:4. I been drinking less drinks and that’s helping me not get hungry. I was drinking so much and stomach juices making my blood glucose rise and make me hungry.

Later on might try OMAD or ADF. But 16:8 and 20:4 is a good start. I have everything ever needed to lose weight and stopped wishing I lost weight quickly like some these lose 15 pounds week scammers. Slow and steady wins race. It’s okay to take time to lose weight. You end up keeping weight off.

About to do my morning workout soon. That is todays update and if more happens I will update cause this glow up gone make enemies sick. I am so ready to see 200 pounds on scale. Hard work pays off. And I’m finally thriving and putting myself first and winning at life.

Happy New Year’s 😍🎊

[nekroschafis-obsessions]

Most busy sheepi! (Obsession + insomnia is heavy atm) Also sorry my current focus is almost exclusively on the two projects I am working on (the sheep decorations last 4 pieces at my workplace / desk) and the digital project which for me is a totally new topic so I can barely find time to think of something else (or sleep) which means I can barely find the time for any of my other obsessions (unless it comes to random topics infodumping in conversations with my workmates or friends) so….I want to „apologize“ for being „gone“ but I can assure you the SP fandom and my obsession with my favourite characters will NEVER end! It‘s just currently resting because my mind can‘t split its focus endlessly, especially when there is so much new to learn and troubleshoot in my project. (and focusing on THIS plus a single-topic internet forum helps me distract from my waiting time as long as my housing situation is on hold). I also happened to stumple upon clips of the South Park End of obesity which already makes me excited for when I will take the time to finally watch it and focus on one of my many favourite cartoons again. At the moment I CAN‘T but I can be sure I won‘t out of future fandom inspiration that soon. \o/ And maybe when I become less busy with single topics / activities I will probably return to my other websites including this one again. After all I did have fun here and it‘s always nice to read about fandom stuff. Also I occasionally dive into fanart again, although currently in other topics, but this means I will probably be more confident of at least putting my ideas on paper / creating scribbles again instead of forcing myself to focus on non-fandom art for practice purpose / new techniques / commissions at my workplace. Anyway I currently don‘t post my sketches and photos here as I take a break of tumblr / insta / deviantart and focus on the fandom exclusive forum only as it feels better for me when it comes to keeping my inspiration and motivation level up and my depression / anxiety level low. It just feels like my youth again where one fandom community was the dominant gathering place that made it easier for me to create even quick fanart ideas, even when they are first attempts at this fandom art. So for now I‘m still all sheepi crafts and Don‘t Starve aligned, probably as long as I am trapped in my current house to keep my sanity and focus as high as possible (at the cost of staying awake for 3+ days and backaches and eyestrain)

But I fear I have barely felt that much happiness and that little anxiety within the past years!

Looking forward to post random stuff here again. :)

Anyway my compulsive negative thoughts have almost been reduced to zero since I started to dive into my current longterm focus.

So happy Schafi Mäh! \o/ Määääääh!!!!!

[twilightknight17]

This time on P3R: lots and lots of Tartarus, and hanging with my bros.

Spent a bunch of time in Tartarus, one because I was trying to get more money/personas, and two because I thought the border floor was closer than it was. X’D I ended up having to go home because everyone was out of SP.

I’m level 68, which is not nice, and one level too low to fuse Loki, sadly. And somehow, I don’t feel overleveled in the slightest. Which… doesn’t seem to bode well for the inevitable marathon final boss. XDDDD

Anyway, now that I’ve come back, time to… oh, wait. Exams are this week, so no one will hang out with me except my rival track bro, and Mitsuru. Which seems weird, since Mitsuru STILL won’t hang out with me because I’m not a genius. But if I was… she’d hang out with me instead of study?

Akihiko wants to spend the evening together, though, so that’s cool. He takes me on a workout run, and Minato keeps up admirably! That roving band of delinquents who want to fight him turns up again, though.

Seriously, there’s more dudes every time this happens.

Akihiko’s prepared to fight, though, and tells Minato to stay back. But…

Admittedly, I’m not a Japanese high school student. I’m not an expert. But these guys seriously think that just because he’s on the boxing team, he’ll get in trouble for defending himself against like… twenty guys? “Oh, someone with your training shouldn’t fight an amateur”, so what, he’s just supposed to let people with no training beat him up without protecting himself?

Also, fucking pathetic of these morons to only come after him if they think he can’t/won’t hit back. Cowards. Dipshits. Fall down the shrine stairs on your way home.

Don’t worry, Senpai! I could!

These guys made a fatal mistake, though. They mentioned that they know where we live, and that there’s girls and a kid living there too. And you threaten our stupid little team family, you are toast.

Got it! But aw, man. That means I can’t just yank out a sword and start swinging.

I guess it’s fine, though, because we laid them out flat.

I’m delighted by the fact that we just left them everywhere.

We head home after telling them to not fuck with us anymore, and head to Akihiko’s room, where he admits that he’s made a decision about Nyx. He wants to fight, no matter what the outcome is.

That’s in line with Yukari and Mitsuru, who also want to fight. Very proud of my team here.

Now we’re off to spend some time with Kamiki, because Maya isn’t ready to rank up again. Kamiki makes me uncomfortable, but that’s a me thing, not a Minato thing, so we’re off to listen to him talk about the story he’s writing. The one that probably is not good for children, but is good catharsis for him.

The one about the pink alligator, shunned by others, who makes friends with a bird.

Today he picks up where he left off and tells us about how the pink alligator has a friend now, but still can’t hunt because of his color. So he’s getting more and more hungry. And then he accidentally eats the bird. And the bird dies. So he decides to just starve.

Dude. WARN someone before you just drop a story like that on them. He asks what we think, and dude, that’s fucking dark.

My guy, holy shit. I believe in your writing, but maybe tone it down just a smidge. I forget if he wanted this to be a picture book or what, but if so, you’re gonna traumatize the kiddos.

Fucking hell. Let’s go take exams.

Oh god I had to guess on that one but I got it!

And then missed the Roman mythology one. Who even am I.

And my academics are STILL not maxed despite all the study sessions!

To take my mind off of my shit academics, we’re gonna go hang out with Junpei.

You already apologized, but this is nice of you. And.. it’s okay.

Junpei admits that he was scared and angry and unjustifiably took his anger out on Minato.

If you say “Ryoji” I’m gonna leave.

But no, he means himself. He talks about how when he was visiting Chidori in the hospital, he accidentally brushed off her question about his future plans, and upset her. Seeing all of SEES apparently just talking about the potential death of everything like it was just another mission made him realize how scared Chidori must have been, and how bad it felt to have someone not notice that.

But he gets now that we’re all scared, we’re just dealing with it different ways. And says that while Minato has always made decisions for the rest of the team, now he should make a decision for himself.

Even if the rest of SEES wants something else.

I love Junpei a whole lot. He’s actually so good, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong and I will fight them.

Time is passing faster than it feels like it should. But not as fast as November flew by.

Yeah. We’ll have a nice Christmas together.

...nevermind, I’m sending you, specifically, to Tartarus.

Because he loves humanity and me! Oh my god. In hindsight, a better punishment is BANNING you from Tartarus. No training until you stop being like this. X’’’’D

I do wonder what Christmas will have to offer, at least...

[firsttarotreader]

Not an SP fan but if she is so bad then why did she help Pedro when he was starving? Her sister even gave him his car and she is nice to TH. I wonder why she is so nasty to fans and restaurant staff. She knows P hates people who are rude for no reason. Especially towards waiters as he was one himself. I am genuinly wondering why she keeps being a Karen.

Go figure…

[kennysdeadbody]

this quote was made for them

[piningpercussionist]

(Not an rp ask)

What is your opinion on chau x kim? I'm not a shipper of it myself but I heard it was a proship since knives is 17 but also I saw she was 18 in the comic so I'm not sure where to stand on it honestly. But I'd like to hear your opinion about it !! Sorry if this is a bit of a random ask (ーー;

You're completely fine!! Do not even worry about it.

So, yeah- When Scott first meets Knives, and I'm not entirely sure how much time passes between then and when they start dating, it was *literally* her seventeenth birthday, as I am reminding myself reading back over these panels presently. And then at the start of book six, the first time we see (real, non-dream,) Knives, she has apparently been eighteen for a week!

Now, I'm going to preface with a little something before I go further into this: I am totally fine answering this ask and others like it I think! but, I will note, I do get like a (not fun) physical sensation in my chest- partly anxiety (lol) but also something else I think- thinking about them like 95% of the time- it's gotta be like. Handled The Right Way, if that makes sense. Let's get into it.

So, first off, I'm just gonna re: some of the stuff relative to this I've posted here before- both nonrp and rp, since I use RP to develop my read on Kim and shed some light on how I see things I guess!

These clips come from this ask (and reblog) here!

This rp ask here, which is simply too difficult for me to get in a good screenshot I feel, so I recommend just checking it and the tags for it out- I will share my Bonus Commentary reply though:

This ask as well! Tags less pressing, but still provide a little insight.

And this is probably a dumb inclusion if I really want to make a pseudonym to post fics under, but. I have posted my (very early) thoughts on the SPTO sparks scene to AO3 before, so- (and before going into this- I did remember that Julie and Gideon have that sparks scene after the fact!)

And here's the Barely Anything Lines hinting at the ship that I had in that fic that I used to justify that blurb, while we're here:

I think I've gone over my feelings a little bit in the discord as well, and there might even be more rp stuff relative to it, but I'm not going to go back and get any of that honestly- at least, not right now, or unless requested, since I don't really feel like it's necessary, if it does exist. This gives a pretty good glimpse in I'd say- especially that second to last one there.

So. Yeah.

Used to ship it; have expanded my horizons since then. I don't really want to knock it because like... for some people this is a legitimate life experience for them- one that might have even turned out well, miraculously. And there also a lot of minors in this fandom evidently, so like, any other baby gays out there just wanting to Project for a minute? I feel that. Sincerely I do. It's not the wisest choice but better to read fanfiction about it than go out and actually make out with a 23 year old, Gods forbid. (Genuinely felt sick thinking about that; fucking gross. Any minors out there: Please Make Good Choices. Look out for yourselves. Begging you. There are too many freaks in this world- I promise you whoever you're thinking of probably isn't the magical exception.)

But there are definitely things to consider about them that are very interesting to me, still, so like. I'm in this weird state of conflict; I don't know if it's just me being like "it happened, you can't escape it" or having been desensitized/some sort of Brainwashed by how many times I had to use Knives in the game to quick heal- maybe something else but I just don't feel like flaying myself open like that unprompted for just anyone- but like. Oh man.

Sorry, gathering/writing this that feeling like went away but came circling back for this last bit, it seems. Which makes sense I guess. I feel like I'm setting myself up for a Pyre right now eugh shfsgkjfhjg

I dunno. I'm not gonna lie and pretend like I know it to be some big formative ship for me in my early teen years, but it was kind of important in finally coming around to realizing how queer I was, I think. My memories of the time are fuzzy, but it would have been one of the things- there were likely larger ones, my current obsession could be recoloring my past here so I'm trying to acknowledge that.

But there is like. A dynamic that is posited by them that is also one I'm a really big sucker for. More so now than I was then, so I find myself grinding my teeth about that a fair bit at times.

I definitely still really like it as something unrequited no matter what I think; I like the idea of Knives having a really big crush on Kim, genuinely. I think it's cute and funny as hell for how uncomfortable it would make Kim, who's just trying so hard not to be a fucking creep while this ray of sunshine hangs off her- something she absolutely does not deserve (in her eyes.)

I'm obviously more partial to Kim resisting any advances made at her, but I can understand so, so badly why someone might be attracted to the idea of Knives managing to thaw some of Kim's frigidity with that. Ugh.

If they work for me, I think they'd have to work for me after Knives is gone at college for a bit. Kim would need to know Knives for longer than she knew her as a minor- and they'd have to be FRIENDS in that time, quite strictly. Kim would need to not feel (intensely, because frankly, she would unavoidably feel this way at least a little no matter what,) like she was a fucking groomer going into it, basically. I don't know what I think past that.

You know, I'll put my feelings like this: with the exception of a fic I saw recommended to someone that intrigued me, I have managed to resist reading any/many fics featuring them, despite it being a large majority of the wlw Kim fics that exist, and also kinda just Kim fics generally. It's kind of Insane, especially considering how much Kimona SCREAM at you from the pages of the comic itself- but I digress....

I've been working on this for like over an hour now I think so I really should cut myself off. I am like,, too hungry and mildly stoned to be rambling off about this maybe. If you want more concise/specific thoughts, I recommend prompting! I can try and channel the responses easier with a bit more direction, maybe?

...

actually another thing real quick- I like. Do not know that I could ever feel comfortable, truly, consuming content for them, not knowing if the OP has good intentions. I just Do Not trust people, largely, so that's just like. A little thing. Idk. "Death to the author" or whatever but I am still allowed to feel personally uncomfortable ya know! I don't want them taking my silent observation as like,, passive acceptance in the event that they were. Idk if that makes sense, I need to go eat already, I'm hitting post before i drag this out to TWO hours

[marilostfieldblog]

[Video transcript start.]

[The transcript begins with the camera viewing a ceiling, the light shining on it. After about 30 seconds there is a knocking on the frame of the store. The one with the camera points it to the frame.]

?: Good evening, child.

[Voice unidentifiable, please try again.]

?: Mari, it was? I would like to see the bleeding body you have living in your abode. I have something that may be of use

[The figure gestures to a medicine box, which nearly opens before they catch it with their free hand.]

?: Who the living fuck are you?

[Voice identified: Mari.]

?: Nice to see you again as well. I suppose we have not yet met. Perhaps that is for the best. Excuse me.

[They push past Mari]

M: I mean, assuming you are the jackass I am thinking of. Last time I saw you, you got in a fight with Edgar. And then talked some bullshit to Sparrow so like piss off?

?: Happy to hear that my reputation precedes me.

[They make a beeline for Edgar’s blanket pile, and sit beside him. They turn slightly to face Sparrow and Rose.]

?: Good evening to you both as well, children.

[Mari turns over to face that part of the hideout, Sparrow who is sitting in a red wagon playing a game on a computer appears to lift one hand to flip off the figure. Rose can be heard humming in her sleep.]

?: Heh, very cute. Alright, what do we have here?

[They clumsily open the box, spilling a bunch of pills and bandages on the ground. They either don’t notice, or don’t care, as they begin rummaging through the contents.]

??: You need help with that?

[Still awaiting name.]

[The person walks into frame, medium length dark red hair is seen as they look down at the figure. The figure completely stops what they are doing and looks up.]

?: Nice hair. Grow it yourself?

??: Yeah why you ask?

?: No reason. And I think I will be quite fine on my own, thank you.

[A voice pops up from Sparrow in the wagon, they sound extremely monotone.]

Sp: Wrong. You are on the brink of starving.

?: Starving is for the weak and powerless. I simply had forgone eating for extended periods of time.

Sp: Hm. You are strong?

M: Sparrow don't you dare.

[the camera flicks back towards the figure in the corner to watch them pull out a bag of water. From behind Mari, a can of soup flies into frame, colliding with the figure’s head with a metallic thud. Miraculously, the can then manages to then fall on Edgar’s face, waking him abruptly.]

[The man sits up quickly, holding a hand to the spot the can hit. He wildly looks around at the people in the room.]

?: Good aim, cunt.

E: What the fuck are you doing here!?

?: I noticed that you were bleeding. I had medicine. What do you think?

E: I don’t need help, especially not from you. Piss off.

?: God forbid I decide to help. Fine, have it your way, bleed out for all I care.

[Rose wakes up for a split second. The transcript automatically pieced together what she said for the ease of screen readers.]

R: Both of you quit being stubborn.

?: You are being very rude to your sleeping child, lower your tone.

E: I’ll lower my tone once you lower your damn attitude.

?: Remind me who hit who with a crowbar? Oh yes, that was you. You know, I did this of my own free goddamn will. I didn’t have to come out to this abandoned mall in the middle of fuck-all nowhere. I didn’t have to bring you this…

[The figure picks up a pill bottle to read it off. Their voice begins to rise in anger, and Edgar’s eyebrows crease inwards.]

?: Whatever this shit is. I expect nothing from you, and you still manage to push away help further and further until you have nothing left.

Sp: It probably does not help. That you act like an asshole. Mr W.

?: I barely ask for respect anymore, Sparrow. I know damn well what everyone here thinks of me.

[The figure stands up, knocking over what little remains in the medkit.]

?: Take your damn medicine. Next time, feel free to bleed out, since you would rather die than take a bandage from someone who tried to help.

M: My dude, who the actual fuck even are you? We have not met besides you being ‘Another asshole.’

?: DO NOT ACT AS THOUGH YOU DO NOT DESPISE ME. I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

M: Despise is a strong word for a person I don't fucking know!

?: FUCK!

[The figure kicks the medkit box, breaking it.]

M: Ok how about this, tell me who the actual piss you are. Because for fucks sake I HAVE BEEN IN THIS MALL SINCE AUGUST! And maybe then I'll despise you.

?: You want a list of all the shitty things I’ve done?

M: You have a thick fucking skull.

[Mari sighs.]

M: Here, I'll go really slow so you understand. I. DO. NOT. KNOW. YOU. TELL. ME. WHO. YOU. ARE!

?: WELCOME TO THE PARTY THEN, BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW EITHER.

Sp: Quit screaming. Rose is sleeping.

[They sit back down and say nothing.]

…

E: Hold on.

[The man's tone contains much less anger than it did when he last spoke, it is still present, but there is definitely less.]

Sp: I would like. For Rose to sleep.

E: Sparrow. Give me a moment. Just… I have a question.

[The figure looks up for a moment, their cold lenses fixated on Edgar.]

E: I never actually stopped to think about this. Why are you even in the mall? Why did you come here?

?: I told you. I came here because of the rumors. I wanted to see…

[The man nods, raising his eyebrows. He stares expectantly at the figure.]

?: I will leave.

E: No, you won’t.

?: Why, care to belittle me again? I know what you think of what I do.

E: That would be past tense, wouldn’t it? You said you were fired. Get over here.

?: Why do you care? It’s still what I want to do. I truly believe in my work. It just isn’t exactly rewarding.

E: I could really ask you the same thing, W. If what I’m thinking those rumors were is correct.

?: Oh, so now I have rumors?

E: Wh– no. The ones you were talking about earlier. Dude. Just... I’m not going to start shouting at you again, as tempting as it is. Please just answer a few questions, then you can fuck off and do whatever the hell you want.

?: We need to do this some other time. I can’t be here. I can come back tomorrow.

E: What are you so afraid of, W. Why do you feel the need to keep fucking running.

?: Same reason as you, I suppose.

[The figure gets up silently and leaves.]

E: Ugh. [Muttered.] Bitch.

[Edgar lays back down, both of his hands over his eyes. He grumbles something, seemingly about W.]

Sp: Thank you.

[Edgar turns away from Sparrow, barely acknowledging their words.]

Sp: I forgive you by the way. Peony does not. But I do.

[He holds up his hand, giving Sparrow a thumbs up.]

M: Will you speak? Please?

E: I need a sec. Thinking.

M: Alright dude.

[End transcript.]

[oldest49dream]

So I've been wondering why some ppl think less about yjh being shallow character just written for kdj to survive having no personality or deep characterization

Yjh had his own choices his own decisions and his own personality , he wasn't like that just because han wrote about him he's not just a shallow shell

Kdj being the one who read about him for more than a decade and not getting to understand any expression the man showed other than frowning? -in early-

He doesn't get to fully know him until the end thinking SP would like to kill od but it was his own self that wanted to deny reality and other kdj things

HE WAS THE ONE WHO CHOSE TO REGRESS AND NOT FOR KDJ "as romantic as it sounds"

IT WAS FOR HIMSELF

He always felt that his life was completed by someone else and that he had a purpose to persuade, HE KNEW KDJ HAS THE ANSWERS -ofc besides really appreciating the man- but yeah he wanted to know more about himself, THE SPACE TRAVEL TOO, he literally said "IF IT WAS KDJ HE'D KNOW MORE ABOUT ME THAN ME" so yeah

Ok then HIS PURPOSE, the man regressed and regressed never losing hope and never abandoning a life till he reached the end but he wasn't content? Why?

He then became SP waiting forever for answers then KDJ JUST POP UP like that man watching over the "change" etc etc& then OD then man knew knew his purpose of life was to save that one child and thus his journey came to an end "he looked liberated"

Wb our YJH POOR POOR YJH he was left without answers let's start why when he saw his future with kdj decided yeah life may be worth living and why kdj was a reason for his happiness "yoo mia" and his companion even tho he never took any ? -not bcz oh love oh soulmates-

He indeed respected him but I'd like to think that yeah that that connection that KDJ gave him " BEING UNDERSTOOD" yeah being alone to hold all misery being understood was like giving food to a starving dog

Wtv companions separated by life and death etc etc isn't romantic relationship but love and understanding relationship wtv

Poor yjh was left alone again no companion no purpose no reason to live so HE CHOSE REGRESSION AGAIN , ateotd bro knew no other way to solve his problems he came back robbed of his only hope to get kdj back two years into depression "HSY SAYING HE WAS UGLY" THE MAN WENT THROUGH THOUSANDS YEARS AT THE APOCALYPSE LOOKING LIKE WTV KDJ DESCRIBED HIM BUT TWO YEARS AND THE MAN WAS DESCRIBED UGLY? YEAH DEPRESSION and also couldn't take care of his own beloved sis

so 2 years into depression the man decided yeah let's go to die by the hand of the one who created me because who knows idk why am I alive anymore and their relationship yoohan relationship how she told him it was his mistake and them hurting each other cuz why not it's better than hurting alone "it was a way of communication for them , but they understood eachother"

Then space thing the real thing that shaped him that made him reach to inner peace and resolution surviving by hsy words and kdj's life i think it made him understand the man better thus understanding himself getting close to biyoo "bi yoo🧐" /jk yjh gets to understand that he doesn't need to understand he doesn't need to have a mission to have purpose and what's better than getting understood by oneself so yeah

[amporella]

thoughts on staig?

I wrote something to answer this a LONG time ago (like seriously maybe over a year ago?) but having dug it up, I've realized that it is not fully reflective of my current feelings. They have changed a little! I mean, I still love staig (maybe even more now) but my opinion on their dynamic has changed a little!!!

Staig could very well be endgame for me (and I actually like it a lot AS endgame), but realistically, it's probably not. Endgame staig is saved for very specific aus for me, because I think that in the large majority of scenarios, style wins out and staig never progresses beyond conflicted teenage crushes and a few hookups. If Kyle is available, it's veryyy unlikely I'll picture Stan ending up with anyone else, so you really need to get creative (especially with Kyle) for me to be legitimately convinced of endgame staig. IT HAS HAPPENED THOUGH!!

I AM CHARMED BY ENDGAME STAIG THOUGH!! I think they would be surprisingly functional in the scenarios where they do end up together. That being said, as much as I enjoy that concept, I've been leaning towards temporary teenage/young adult staig a lot more recently, specifically when it's along the lines of Craig -> Stan -> Kyle. I don't even generally like angst but I lurve unrequited Craig pining... especially if someone else really wanted him the whole time <3

I'm not sure how much else to say here/what questions you specifically want answered!! But staig is seriously one of my favorite sp ships; maybe my 2nd favorite, right after style? There's something genuinely absurd and hilarious about them just because of how vastly different they are and how hard it would be for them to get along (despite being attracted to each other), but I also think they have soo much potential as something actually tender, even if just for a brief moment... sigh. SIGH!!! They're really good.

My only caveat is that the number of staig shippers in the fandom is few comparatively, and the number that I agree with on characterization is much, much fewer. So I'm basically starving all the time, only kept afloat by my genius staig friends. Talk to me about staig in my inbox anon. You will make my whole life.