oldest49dream

[oldest49dream]

trick or treat

we only have cotton candy

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[oldest49dream]

[oldest49dream]

It's funny to me that everyone is worried when the anime/live action ORV comes out the new fans will mischaracterize the cast, as if 95% of the fandom doesn't already mischaracterize them to hell and back...didn't realize you all had such high opinions of the fandoms media literacy currently, my bad, but nothing will change for me. it will still only be me and the same 7 enlightened tumblr users against the world

[oldest49dream]

yoo joonghyuk number one guy with a hole inside him that will never be filled. kim dokja number one guy who wants to crawl inside that hole and stay there forever but will never let himself. what do you do when you are made to hold someone and they never let you

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SELFCEST WINS LETSGOOO ofc I enjoyed it sp999 content is like whole course meal

Tw/bdd

Also the body horror part I meant it more as mental I thought of him dying gruesome ways and opening his eyes to see he's fine again what if he took it for granted and proceeded to die even more painful ones or the injuries he'd live with for years

the lost limps and scars he grew familiar with just to open his eyes and see they're gone...sure looking at the mirror would be tough one and oh the word isn't body horror my bad (I think I was thinking about the yjh mpreg ones like out of canon ) but bdd

Thoughts on yjh and body horror?

Hmm, some. I think Yoo Joonghyuk's whole deal is a lot more often about mental anguish as opposed to physical. Regression resets all his wounds and scars except the mental ones, so those are the ones that take a massive toll on him. 'Hell of Eternity' is hell because he can never escape his own memories. He is weak to mental attacks but his body is usually near indestructible.

Secretive Plotter's damage is the 'curse of immortality' and his only motivation is finding eternal rest, so that's all mental. Even outergodification is a mental process. Losing his appearence as a 'human' was a secondary side effect to losing his identity as 'Yoo Joonghyuk' and just asthetically speaking, turning into a shadow person isn't really 'body horror' to me, which I associate more with viscera and flesh, not cold and clean intangibility.

I'm not just bringing up SP because I have brain worms (also that) but because there is a specific regression that I think does exemplify 'body horror', and that's 999, baby!

Hear me out. I don't say this soley due to 999's lack of limbs, since there's nothing inherently horror about being an amputee (though removing his own eyes is a bit saw trap energy not going to lie) BUT because his was the one regression where his main problem wasn't mental - he had all his companions, was as happy as one could be in an apocalypse - but the fact that his physical body failed him. He didn't die in battle, but instead wasted away due to the 'outer world covenant'.

Kim Dokja might be self-sacrifical but this guy was on another level.

999 didn't hesitate to take hits for his companions, which is how he lost his limbs, and at the same time he borrowed an outer god's powers to win battles (I'm imaganing a chaos version of advent of a half-god) , which probably looked really epic, but unforunatley was at the expence of his soul. The covenant ate away at him piece by piece, and it's said his 'bloodstream went haywire until he couldn't walk or use his skills' (the translation was wonky here but you get it) which I take to mean he had some kind of cell damage, kind of like radiation or chemo.

This was a years long process, from when he first signed the Outer World Covenant up until the 99th scenario, and that whole time he kept borrowing those powers even though he saw it was killing him. What I mean is, it probably didn't look or feel great to see him falling apart, but the level of gore is reader's choice to imagine (anywhere from a tasteful coughing up blood and nosebleeds, to skin peeling off and hair falling out etc.).

Oh and since I know you would enjoy this, I'll say this too.

I don't think Secretive Plotter knew what he would do to 999.

He meant to save 999, not kill him.

This was almost assuredly his first Outer World Convenant, since I figure changing the 999th regression was the first thing he tried to do after he gained the ability to worldline hop/ had the tiniest bit of control over his outer god powers. He was still young and hopeful - 'foolish' as the Secrerive Plotter reminices. But he clearly fucked something up badly, maybe since he didn't have the clear grasp of probability manipulation that he developed in the next thousands of years or tried to directly change too much.

Canon era, he gives both KDJ and HSY a covenant just fine and they don't have any issues from it. (He's very careful to take the probability on himself - remember the finger thing?)

I wonder how horrified young SP was to see 999 destroying himself using SP as the method. Did he try to back out at some point, but couldn't due to the covenant? Did he try to make 999 stop, which he of course refused to do? I think about them a lot.

[oldest49dream]

Maybe there is a universe out there where we could’ve lived peacefully together.

Everything Everywhere All At Once x ORV

[oldest49dream]

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Hope you don't mind elaborating on the other turns' YJH's relationship with SP and 3rd/1864th turn YJH? I genuinely enjoyed the other posts and wouldn't mind seeing more. ❤️

anon I will NEVER mind elaborating & I thank you for enabling my madness. I love talking about them sm <3

I guess I'll start off with 41&SP since I've been thinking about them and you didn't specify which one I should talk about. and. there's literally 1864 (?) different Yoo Joonghyuks. that's 1,736,316 combinations of pairings I could talk about. I'm never running out of content as long as I'm alive (well I'm not crazy enough to have headcanons for all of their relationships. yet. link to my YJH relationship chart).

this post has PARTS thats how long it got. under read more it goes

41's personality

oh 41, you miserable, miserable man. during the 41st regression, Yoo Joonghyuk had decided to harden his heart into cold, brutal practicality. he would use any means necessary to achieve his purpose, even if he had to sacrifice his companions. (he never called them that during this round, so it would hurt less when they died (didn't work)). he tried very hard to make himself an emotionless machine (see: him carelessly saying he doesn't give a shit, beyond losing tools he could use, when lee hyungsung and lee jihye die).

We get most of this characterization from the Disaster of Floods, 41st Shin Yoosung, who had a deeply messed up relationship with him that's its own post. she was the only one by his side till the very end and had to witness his cruelty, which traumatized her. and then he sent her to the past, abondened her in the labyrinth of the worlds- his ultimate unforgivable act. (quote 'The things done by the 41st round Yoo Joonghyuk were worse than murder.')

but as much as he tried, he couldn't become that heartless monster he showed to the world. (see: him promising Shin Yoosung they would go on a trip together after the scenarios were over. even at his worst, he couldn't help but try to comfort her.)

SP's thoughts on 41

41 and SP spend multiple scenes hanging out one-on-one so we have a lot to go off regarding their relationship. 41 is Secretive Plotter's second-in-command, the one who is closest to him and who spends the most time with him. For SP, this is because he finds 41 the most quote 'similar to himself' (in their ends justify the means, no matter how cruel approach) and thinks he's most likely to understand SP's actions. also since 41 is similar to him, and SP is the peak strongest smartest YJH, 41's opinion is automatically also worth more, right? girlmath (sp is arrogant).

SP relies on 41 as a trusted advisor and subordinate, let's him in on plans and asks for his opinion/advice sometimes, even if he doesn't necessarily take it. gives him commands and resposibilities and expects them to be done competently. even let's him see his vulnerable moments (do we remember the scene where SP woke up from a nightmare and 41 was there. that was to me what lemon candy moment is to doksoo fans).

SP cares for and is fond of and feels mildly possesive/protective over 41, but only the same amount as all the other regressions, nothing special about 41 in particular. SP think's every version of YJH belongs to him (see: n'gai forest's whole existence. see: 'return to me, [999]' see: 'return to me, the place you're supposed to be is here!' talking to 1863. see: 'That guy from the 1863rd should've been a part of me originally. Just like all of you.'). but he takes it for granted when that is true, because we only pine after what we don't have. like 3rd. (and 999.)

41's thoughts on SP

it's clear to me that 41 idolizes SP very much (in a 'he's me if I succeeded' way). when SP calls them similar and 41 says 'what an honor that is' he's not being sarcastic. he sees it as an honor that SP trusts him and thinks it would be better if he only trusted him, and not unreliable people like 999 (quote: [41] spoke with a voice containing a faint trace of rage. "It was a mistake to send him. Send me, instead. [999] is too soft.") and kdj (quote: "It's all because of that fool, Kim Dokja.") (this is partly jealousy. 'SP doesnt need anyone else when he has me' type of vibe.)

he takes his role as advisor very seriously. sees it as his job to point out the things SP doesn't catch or notice, question him, etc. sometimes feels frustrated when SP refuses to see reason (especially regarding 999)

still he is too loyal to ever disobey and the final decisions are always Plotter's. 41 is only subservient to him. ('lowered his head slowly' in acquiescence and submission. 'if thats what you want' im insane)

41 is very protective of SP. sees himself as a loyal knight, the only one capable of protecting his king. (probably literally calls SP 'my king' in his head...) very quick to jump to SP's defence at any point, absolutely hates people who disrespect him or betray him or dare to speak to him... sometimes goes too far and SP has to reprimand him/ make him back off.

this is after kdj provokes SP. see how 41 immedietly jumps to defend him? and how SP calls 41 off with a single word, literally like a guard dog? SP dismisses his concerns regarding 999 in a similar way.

41 also, and I cannot stress this enough, constantly looks at SP with yearning goey eyes. half the scenes hes in he's just...staring. with love. at SP.

41 too, is cringe and in love with someone who doesn't pay him any special attention. this is a yoo joonghyuk's natural state

[oldest49dream]

OKAY HEAR ME OUT here's how spyjh could still win.

y'know how yoo joonghyuk meets secretive plotter and asks him if he's kim dokja from the future and sp says 'maybe, maybe not?' now in this au SP still says, 'maybe, maybe not' but then follows it up by taking on kdj's form, as a sort of mockery and ‘i could look however lol’ -typical sp drama queen behavior. but yoo joonghuk, notorious conspiracy theorist,  takes this as 100% confirmation sp IS kdj, exactly like in canon, only nothing dissuades him from this, ever. 

Shenanigans happen and yjh falls in love with sp thinking he is secretly future kdj, because yoo joonghyuk thinks he’s living in a role reversed plotja fanfiction when actually something much weirder is going on

And y’know, sp doesn’t even have to play into it too much for yjh to take anything he does as confirmation. SP can still look like he does in canon most of the time and yoo joonghyuk would think ‘average kim dokja behavior, pretending to be me again.’ 

or sp could do a kdj cosplay full time, which would also be in character. Since canonically his ‘real’ appearance is a shadowy figure, him looking like kim dokja would be just as much his ‘real face’ as him looking like alt-1863rd yoo joonghyuk. And with that i mean that it’s not the way he looked pre outer godification, but that he chooses to look that way because of weird emotional attachments (i talked about that in this post)

Okay sp psychoanalysis over returning to the actual point of this post, which is my deranged spyjh au. I feel like it could both be played for laughs and for angsty drama. On one hand you got yjh stubbornly clinging to his sp=kdj theory despite copious evidence to the contrary and literally everyone, including kimcom and sp himself telling him its not true, finding increasingly far fetched and ridiculous explanations for all of it.

On the other hand you have a torrid secret identity love affair, sp saying ‘you would hate this if you knew what I really was’ perhaps for once in his own appearance, knowing that's not enough to convince him and more than fine with that. weak enough for yoo joonghyuk’s attention to not want to tell him the truth and lose it forever. vs yoo joonghyuk saying ‘i dont care, i dont care that you’re a constellation or an outer god or have done bad things and i dont care what appearance you want to take if it makes you comfortable' very soap opera, very identity porn

do you see my vision here

[oldest49dream]

Han Sooyoung for @/nonprophet123 on Twitter - thank you for participating in @orv-gotcha-for-gaza!