#I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THIS

[bluemoon-standingalone]

Maybe Twitter cancels people without looking them in the avatar, but I ain't a simp, dig?

You've raided your last stream, kid. Sorry you got twisted up in this apology video. From where your gaming chair is it must seem like an 18-gigabyte run of bad luck. Truth is... the victory royale was rigged from the start.

[azdesertwillow]

Hi my name is Cazador Dark’ness Dementia von Zarovich Szarr and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and bloody red eyes like sanguine drips and a lot of people tell me I look like Balduran (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hells out of here!). I’m not related to Strahd von Zarovich but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called the Crimson Palace in Baldur’s Gate where I’m in the seventh year (I’m four hundred and seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Facemaker Boutique and I buy all my clothes from there.

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Jesus Fucking Christ-

calling that Massturbation

[boxwinebaddie]

alright, i am still working on my random self indulgent guidance counsellor jersey hcs ( the kids call him Mr. Bro, which is so iconique to me, like i think the fifth graders were just memeing on him, but it accidentally stuck because the littles heard it and…if that’s ur name once, it’s ur name forever. it’s also Sick, tyvm! )

but anyways here are some random highlights with no context, he is the funniest man alive to me.

-okay, re: this one, he also puts his hair up everyday ( could u imagine that man’s hair being down, children would be like u look like ARIEL! and get nothing done ) btw, it’s virtually the same dress shirt, blazer, sweater, slacks, gold stan s/star of david necklace stack moment w/ the glasses and the chain…but, to keep it cute, he does wear a different silly tie everyday with a different color pattern or vibe going on. he does get sent a lot of goofy ass ties as presents; it’s a w.

-mr. bro does just sound like sheila broflovski and i am obsessed with him. he’ll worry about you all day to the point of being physically sick and see you in the hallway and go ‘well clearly, ya don't need the noise cancelling headphones 'cause you're tunin' me out just fine!'

-he's so cute w/ the little people, he is like aaaa please don't hurt me, spare me, o great and powerful one, i've got two kids and two strays at home ( rip sparky and curb are his kids jysk, annoying rockstar fiance and slightly demonic kindergarten matilda are the strays <3 )

-small domestic ravesey sidebar: jk does wear a cd pin on his blazer sometimes and has a picture of stan on his desk and when he shows kids it and they gasp ( bc stan is extremely beautiful and perfect ) he's like 'oh, god! i know! he's Hideous, right?!' shdlksdd amazing

-mr. bro says acab is my favorite mr. b hc

[theoverseerau]

Frisk Rents an Apartment.

(in a text conversation) Landlord: it is clear in the lease: no ghosts allowed in the apt. Sorry Frisk:

Landlord: OK I will make an exception because they look very polite

[foxesjostens]

why - rascal flatts / dead poets society (1989)

[ninalav]

"The Archon's Emissary"

from december '22, originally posted on patreon back then!!

[slightly different nsfw version still exclusively available there]

[stranded-labyrinth]

What’s better, the idea that Hannibal was involved in the making of the titty mousepad, or the idea that he wasn’t and then finds out?

my vision was that he wasn't and then finds out. Will refuses to acknowledge it regardless of the level of prompting

[charlesanthonybruno]

okay, i need to rant, i’m sorry. i just came home from archery practice and the Coach was here, the guy who technically coaches the entire club but we’re not in the same town so we mostly do our own thing on our own. anyway, he’s there and watches us shoot and at some point pauses the practice to make a speech abput how, given the time of year, we should all be improving our practice, training anytime we can, exercise to build our strength and such. If you work all week, exercice in the bathroom in the morning! go to the gym in the evening! and i was like, wtf mate. i tuned him out and kept doing my thing once he was done. after a while he started telling me that was posture was bad and i needed to, like, idk, retrobend?? which was fun because he doesn’t that my lower back is fucked and is Like That and tucking my pelvis in makes me unstable, and i was like mate i’m just here to have fun all right, and he goes you could have fun better, which sent me in a RAGE. Like. Buddy. For real. What part of having fun did you not get. I am not here to perform, i am not here to be good, i am here to let off steam, have a laugh with the team, and shoot things. I AM NOT HERE TO THINK, AT ANY POINT, « i need to do better ». Fucking hell, i have a full time job, a house and a cat to take care of, this is my break, this is my no thinking time!!! THE RAGE, I SWEAR. When did everything become a fucking contest?? Why are we not allowed to have some goddamn fun with no expectation of results??? I was less than polite with and did not even feel bad about it because CHRIST, can we not just do things for the fun of it anymore??? fucking hell.

[ericvilas]

I don't want video games to let me choose whether my character has Penis A or Penis B, I want them to administer a comprehensive twelve-part questionnaire about how I think elves reproduce and procedurally generate a set of genitals based on my answers.

[sadclowncentral]

cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"

[kuno-chan]

Some of us really need to be doing “Finish That Fanfic We Haven’t Updated in a Year November” 💀

[galladegamer]

🤔

[oh-snapperss]

they'll fund a genocide and let their poor regions be destroyed. don't fucking forgive them for that.

my hometown is completely gone from what pictures i can find of it, i have not heard from my family (including aunts, uncles, parents, one sibling, and a grandparent), and the infrastructure in the mountain communities is wiped out. i cannot stress how catastrophic this is, or how difficult it will be for these communities to build back. i am angry, and scared, and heartbroken by everything that's happened.

and our government is spending it's money to fund a genocide.

free palestine, and don't be complicit. realize that this is not something happening that doesn't affect you--although it shouldn't take this to care about the deaths of thousands of people anyway.

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[podcastwizard]

this will not be a bridgerton blog but for the foreseeable future i will not be thinking about anything other than bridgerton

(original post @romanceyourdemons)