#I ALSO DID MY FUCKIN LAUNDRY. GOD!!! IM ON A ROLL

[dreamdripdistance]

i did two of the extremely scary (yet very easy) things ive been needing to do for weeks. i think i deserve a medal right now what the fuck

[xserpentlife]

50 questions tag !

Tagged by no one but I saw @romanticgumchewer do it and thought it was cool so

1.) What color is your hairbrush?

so like i have bout 5 probably but now i only use one in the shower ad its this turqiouse bue color cause ya’ll if you got frizz or curls dont brush ya hair really at all just use ya fingers but also do it with conditioner and in the shower

2.) Name a food you never eat

freaking seafood eh blegh

3.) Are you usually too warm or too cold?

warm. all. the. time.

4.) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

uhm swimming... no dinner and smelling disgusting seafood that made me wanna barf cause thsts whst my aunt/uncle and grandparents were making for dinner

5.) What’s your favorite candy bar?

oo idk uhm crunch noooo a flake bar they are from europe no like ireland i think so fucking good lemme tell you

6.) Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

yeah. Eagles, flyers, and phillies, and the reading phillies if you count them, oh and the 76ers and some college gsmes i think that is it

7.) What’s the last thing you said out loud?

nope i don’t want a smore

8.) What’s your favorite ice cream?

yall i got so many lemme get you on this shit. okay so ben and jerrys we talkin then its gottabe phish phood oj shit, but like all in al my fav is black raspberry tbh but also like i do keto so i do love me some coffee ice cream cause i can usually find that in “keto” ones. i like keto enlightened ice cream bars they are decent and low carb

9.) What was the last thing you had to drink?

crystal light or it may have been turkey hill diet green tea

10.) Do you like your wallet?

i mean yeah its a black michael kors it does it purpose lol, mostly i like it cause it has a lot of space for cards which like all my gift cards go there the only thing i don’t like is that the bitch gets hela heavy when coins get in it like jesus

11.) What’s the last thing you ate?

ham and cheese roll ups for diner cause they had fuckin seafood lol boutta be carots, but also wasn’t that hungry lol

12.) Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

nope!

13.) What’s the last sporting event you watched?

i believe that it was UFC

14.) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

butter or white cheddar

15.) Who’s the last person you sent a text to?

my best friends so my friend from vegas and @wayward-river

16.) Ever go camping?

yep!

17.) Do you take vitamins?

i take a probiotic

18.) Do you go to church every Sunday?

nope

19.) Do you have a tan?

yupppp

20.) Do you prefer Chinese or pizza?

oooo uhm depends on what type of piza but ima say pizza... i have a cheese addiction

21.) Do you drink soda through a straw?

i don’t drink soda anymore

22.) What color socks do you usually wear?

vans socks in literally any color usually not black i try to get colored ones cause if i get the black i can never tell te old from the new unless they are like streched out or somethin

23.) Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

uhm yes lol. its my downfall but also like either go the speed limit or go 5 miles over do not go under becuase that is just not an option

24.) What terrifies you?

many things.

25.) Look to your left, what to you see?

flowers

26.) What chore do you hate the most?

vacuuming the sound drives me nuts. or no putting away laundry like hanging it up idk why i hate it but i do lik ill wash shit and fold it but actuly putting it way drives me nuts

27.) What do you think when you hear an Australian accent?

uhm hiiii but also adelaide idk why

28.) What’s your favorite soda?

dont drink it i drink ice drinks instead or the safeway brand sparkling water

29.) Do you go in fast food or in the drive through?

drive through

30.) What’s your favorite number?

24

31.) Who’s the last person you talked to?

in person? my little cousin

32.) Favorite cut of beef?

chicken just so many things can be done. chicken parm, grilled chicken, bbq chicken need i go on

33.) Last song you listened to?

welp i checked spotfy we were at the pool and it was me and my little cousin i was playing ehr playlist so it was did i mention from descendants hahah

34.) Last book you read?

oh god uhm i have no idea 

35.) Can you say the alphabet backwards?

no unless i go throguh the whole thing letter...... by.... letter

36.) Favorite day of the week?

thursday

37.) How do you like your coffee?

Iced with heavy cream i prefer cold brew or espresso tho, but usually cold brew

38.) Favorite pair of shoes?

Vans

39.) Time you normally wake up?

10- 10:30 sometimes 9

40.) Sunrise or sunsets?

sunsets

41.) How many blankets on your bed?

usually just my comforter sometimes my comforter and one or two otehrs dring the winter cause i like to be cold and keep my window open i keep my bedroom door closed and the heat in my room off

42.) Describe your kitchen plates?

i live with my aprents im still in college but when im at school rndoms hit that is cheap 

43.) Describe your kitchen at the moment?

tiny dorm kitchen or it will be first on campus apartment that looks like an insane asylum checkkkkkkk

44.) Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

i mean its not legal to sayyyyy

45.) Do you play cards?

yes omggggg my grandma s from the south i grew up on card games 500 rummy, oh hell too, i played poker with my grandpa to and 21

46.) What color is your car?

dark blue... kiki

47.) Can you change a tire?

yeppp!

48.) Your favorite state, province, country, etc.?

uhm idk i live in pennsylvania but I wouldn’t say i have a favorite state at least not yet

49.) Favorite job you’ve had?

I worked at this axe throwing place and honestly it was my favorite job i had. I was an axe master I basicaly taght people how to throw axes and like led mini games for hour long sessions it was hella fun, but my college scheldue and doctors appt got in the way so i got let go but it was fun while it lasted. or my own business i do photography on the side so that is also amazing and i absolutely love it and ned to do more of it.

50.) How did you get your biggest scar?

oh god i don’t even know.. i have huge scards from my chronic skin condition so either that orrrr maybe the scar on my leg it is not that big though like size of a nickel where a kick stand went into my leg, a lot of my scars are smaller or like blend into my skin fairly ell cause of my other scars or honestly i forget about them cause. i hae so many so i realy am not sure.

i tag @wayward-river @the-gargoyle-queen @whenallsaidanddone @riverdalebingo @theangriestpea @southsidevixen-blog

[lovehelpmewrite]

Hi could you write something where Joe is being really caring of you when you got your period by surprise at his house? And he keeps comforting you, and maybe offers to do a small load of laundry for your pants. And just really sweet and gentle!!

Im going to do headcannons because that’s what I feel like writing right now

maybe he’s out with the boys

and you wake up in bed, alone, with your underwear ruined

and not in a fun way

so you call him, but by now the cramps have started setting in

so he answers the call all sweet and happy to hear from you

“Hey baby! What’s up?”

and all he gets is a muffled moan of pain from your end

and of course now he’s worried

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

so you have to pull your face out of the pillow and frown at your phone

“I got my period, Joe.”

so he’s like holy fuck thank god because he thought you were mortally wounded or something

“Jesus Christ. Okay, i’m on my way back, angel. Do you want me to pick up anything?”

“just your warm hands for my stomach”

and he just smiles to himself because he knows its comforting to you when he does press his warm hands on that area just above your pubic bone, where it hurts the most

and he’s so glad that he can provide at least some sort of comfort when you’re feeling so shitty

“………and maybe some rock candy?”

he laughs at that

“rock candy? Okay then, comin’ right up, angel. Be there in a few.”

g o d you could cry when you hear the door of your apartment open

honestly you start to tear up a little as he comes into your bedroom and you push yourself to sit up and you see him carrying the bag

he has the biggest grin as he hands you the bag and he gets down to his boxers and his shirt while you look inside (y’know so he’s comfortable while you guys lay around n whatnot)

and you start bawling

and he panics a little

“Don’t cry!! I said I’d get some for you! Don’t cry, it was nothing!!”

of course he can’t tell you he had to stop by two different candy stores to find the kind he knows you like

and you’re just hiccuping a little and smiling so big while tears roll down your cheeks

“Joe, you’re so good. I don’t fuckin’ deserve this. God, I love you, y’know? I love you so much”

Joe just climbs in bed and lays back and pulls you onto his chest

“love you so much too, angel.”

aNYWAY

so you spend the day in bed with him, cuddling

and on the couch with him, cuddling

and follow him to the kitchen and hug him from behind while he lovingly makes you lunch

your forehead would rest on his back in between his shoulder blades while he works

he would smile softly, gently patting your hands which are wrapped around his waist and resting on the middle of his abdomen 

later on you’re both laying in bed

you on your back, and he’s on his side next to you

and he’s got his heater-hot hand pressed lightly over that soft under-belly where the pain usually is

and your hand is just resting on his forearm, more to affirm that he’s there than to keep him still

because lord knows he would die there like that if you asked him to

you’re just rewatching shows, not really paying attention to them

you’ve got day old mascara marks under your eyes and your hair is unbrushed greasy as all hell and you’re wearing one of joe’s old shirts and the ugliest pair of underwear you own

and still joe can’t help but think you’re the most gorgeous person he’s ever seen

he just watches while your eyelashes flutter, getting closer and closer to closing because you’re so relaxed

and he can’t help but smile when your eyes finally close

you kind of sigh and curl into him a little more

and he just knows right then and there that he loves you so goddamn much

he would do anything you asked, no matter how weird or needy

whether it’s buying your favorite candy even though he has to go across town to get it

or just pulling you tightly against his chest to reassure you that he’s there and he loves you

or making you a grilled cheese and then immediately following it with mint ice cream just because that’s what you wanted more than anything

Joe just wants to make sure you’re fed, and not in pain, and so very loved

god i need this, i just started my period

also lowkey shoutout to @o-holynight who helped give me some cute concepts for this

[imnotcameraready]

If Villains Baked Cookies — Chapter 3

A/N: it’s been a Fuckin While, welcome back to this!!! 

Word Count: 3295

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit y’all, curses, cursing, minor character death (not anyone significant to the storyline), suggested abuse, suggested trauma, swords, knives, panic and panic attack — if i forgot any pls let me know!!!

Pairings: im realizing that this is platonic Moceit and then platonic Analogince, with like. light versions of platonic DLAMP given that they’re a famILY

Characters: Deceit, Patton, Virgil, Logan, Roman, Thomas, AND EMILE PICANI :^) and Percy the Printer™

read on AO3!

Prologue — Chapter 1 — Chapter 2

@rebelrewriter

enjoy!

Sir Virgil Malory wasn’t exactly a knight, per se. He never liked the shining armor and giant swords, both of which would clang together in an incredibly distracting way. No, Virgil prefered the shadows, the quiet, soft leather shoes and a few small daggers hidden in his coat.

He was forced to undergo the knight training, though, as the youngest of four brothers who had all grown to be high ranking knights. His father, before he died, expected all of them to carry on his own legacy of being one of the King’s war advisors.

When he was sixteen, just before the last year of his knightly training, he was pulled aside by one of the King’s aides. Of course, his heart was beating in his neck, he was sweating buckets, what had he done to make the King mad? Why did he need an audience with the King? And the aide didn’t tell him anything until they got to the small war-planning room.

With JUST the King in it.

“Sounds terrible, being locked in a room with a royal,” Roman interrupted, feet kicked up onto the table.

Virgil shot him a glare. “It is pretty terrible when I’m locked in a room with you,” he stuck his tongue out at Roman, who made a sound crossed between a squeak and a gasp in indignation.

“Virgil? Keep going?” Thomas asked, wrapping his own cape around himself as well.

“Fuck, uh, yeah.”

“No more interruptions, Roman,” Logan raised an eyebrow and cast a side glance at him, “And get your feet off of the table. Patton would be furious.”

Deceit rolled his eyes while Roman grumbled quietly, sitting up proper. “Like Patton’s capable of being furious,” he joked, voice soft.

Thomas still didn’t like how his tongue flicked when he spoke.

Virgil cleared his throat, and Roman’s grumbling quieted.

The King had called Virgil into the room not to reprimand him, but to extend an offer. His army had enough knights who fought with swords. He needed more who could fight in the shadows. Who could sneak into an enemy’s tent and slit their throats quietly.

Yeah, it was a weird gig. Seemed to go against all of the knights’ mantra of honor and dealing with things in battle, but the King was serious. He talked a lot about how not everything could be settled out in the open and how not everything could be known to the public. I didn’t like it at all but….I wasn’t really cut out to be a knight, anyway. I said yes.

Training was, well….similar? I don’t know how much y’all wanna hear.

“Just, like….I dunno. Whatever you see fit?” Thomas asked.

He had started slowly slipping off his armor, but kept his dagger and sword strapped to his person. His choice to keep his weapons didn’t escape Deceit’s gaze, he kept noticing the god’s eyes following him. Thomas really, really didn’t like him.

Virgil just watched Thomas a little harder. He seemed to want to retaliate, but a nudge from Roman distracted him. “No more third person?” he cocked an eyebrow, leaning across both of his arms and the table, grinning cheekily up at him.

“Eh, that wasn’t gonna last anyway,” Virgil rolled his eyes with a huff, “I’m not a storyteller.”

I’m gonna skip training. But basically, uh, I learned how to throw knives, make poisons, climb walls, you name it.

My brothers knew I had a special job, but they didn’t know what it was. We lived in the same house, nearby the castle, which was technically my eldest brother’s house since his family lived there. They always asked what I was doing and what the King wanted from me but I never told. The King’d said that….anyone I told would be killed.

My brothers sucked, but I didn’t want them dead.

I was knighted when I was seventeen, and then I started getting sent out on jobs. Never with anyone, never during the day. The royal family always claimed I was a war messenger. That appeased my brothers for the most part, but the oldest one….Percival. Percy. Percy never really trusted that description. He never went after me, though, but I could always see that he just didn’t accept that.

When Patton was first being challenged by the King, I was almost sent, actually. There were only a few of us war messengers, all assassins, and I’d just returned from another job. Because I was fresh home, the King sent someone else. I didn’t know his name or anything but I remember how scared we all were when he didn’t come back.

The King sent someone else to poison Patton’s crops, and they came back. Succeeded.

News traveled fast, though, that the. Well. He was called a murderer then, and everyone was saying that the murderer’d run. Fled into the hills. And everyone was calling for the King to send a party against him.

The pressure went on for only about a year before the King caved. He said he sent a single knight against the murderer to best him in combat. The King sent me. He told me it didn’t matter how I did it, but that I just needed….he wanted me to bring Patton’s dead body back.

Virgil now looked down at the table, brow furrowed, angry at the memory. Thomas glanced up at Logan and Roman, noticing that they seemed surprised. Thomas hadn’t been asked to bring the body back, either. It might have been a custom that died with time.

Even Deceit was looking at his own lap, humming quietly along with the wind chime.

It was a tense, uncomfortable silence.

“Whew!” Thomas’ head snapped up at the sound of the side door opening. Patton walked in, wiping his hands on a towel. “Left was really milkin’ it today!”

Only Deceit chuckled. Virgil lowered his head onto the table, the hood of his cloak falling over his head. Logan groaned.

Patton seemed confused at what he’d walked into. He looked around at them all and opened his arms. “What’s wrong, kiddos? I hope that pun didn’t moove you!”

“We’re just, um….” Thomas looked up at Logan — he seemed to be the task manager.

Logan met his eyes and sighed. Despite only being here for a few hours, Thomas was already getting the hang of being here. Truth be told, he’d already made up his mind. Of course he was staying. But he didn’t want to be just stagnant. Not after all that he’d heard about the king.

“We are listening to Virgil explain how he arrived here. Are you….aware, of why he came?”

Patton grimaced as soon as Logan said “explain.” He stepped to Virgil’s side and gently rubbed his back. “Yeah, I remember when Virge arrived! He, uh….well, he was real determined!” he smiled, a little too cheerily for the topic, “But Deceit wasn’t havin’ any of that.”

“Sorry,” Deceit grumbled, “It was fun.”

Virgil sat up. “Sorry,” he mumbled, wiping his face, “I’ll keep going.”

“Don’t wipe too hard, you’ll smudge your angsty make up,” Roman retorted, voice lacking the bite it’d had earlier, “You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.”

Virgil looked up at him and they seemed to share a moment. Patton kept rubbing Virgil’s back, also watching Roman, then Logan. Scanning around, making sure his children were okay, Thomas reckoned. He was a little surprised when Patton’s eyes landed on him, too. He gave Patton a tiny smile, which Patton returned thrice as large.

“Well, this is a good time to, uh, air out the dirty laundry. I’m gonna cut up the brownies while you kiddos talk?” Patton patted Virgil’s shoulder one last time before walking around the table, towards the kitchen area.

Thomas watched him and Deceit share a look, too, though it was a little different from the other. He couldn’t tell how. Was it an increase in tension? Determination? Seriousness?

It must have communicated something, because Deceit rolled his eyes away and glared at Virgil’s back. “I cannot pick up the story, Virgil, if you would like,” he offered.

Virgil shook his head and faced Deceit. “No, nah, it’s….it’s okay. It’s way in the past anyway! And, ‘sides, I kicked Roman’s ass harder,” the last part was punctuated with Virgil pointing to Roman with his thumb over his shoulder.

Roman, however, snorted. “The only thing you kicked, Angst-fest, was the dirt after our glorious battle!”

“You started crying over your ripped cape, but go off,” Deceit said, checking his fingernails and digging the dirt out from under them.

“You little—”

“Shut it! Alright, so…..”

The whole chosen one thing wasn’t big back then, but everyone kinda knew about me being sent off. I didn’t say bye to my family or anything, either. Those assholes didn’t care.

“Virgil! No swearing!”

“Jeez, sorry Patt.”

The King set me up with everything, rations and money and weapons and all that jazz. It only took about a week to ride here, too, since it was the first time and none of the opportunists’d settled into where they are now.

Like, you know. Logan talked about having to fight a sphinx, when he first came. I’m sure you had to fight some things like that too. Creatures and peddlers and thieves set themselves up along the path, see if they can kill the Chosen One and loot their body. Or they just wanna swindle you out of money and goods.

None of that was there when I went. It was real easy, until I got to the mountain.

I ran into Patton first, while he was building the barn, actually. With like, his hands. I didn’t think he was the warlock but, well, did any of us? I asked what he was doing all the way out here, he said he lived here. He’d just moved. He was kinda jumpy, but like, that’s valid. He asked why I was here and I told him….I told him I was here to meet a warlock. Lied, and said I was here to discuss a truce with the King.

Patton flipped out. Super excited and all.

Here, Virgil gestured to Patton. “I dunno, do you wanna….pick up the story?”

Patton shot him a small smile and brought a plate of brownies to the table. As soon as he set it down, Roman grabbed one and began nibbling on it. Logan thanked him and took one as well, and then Virgil, who was still staring at Patton.

He leaned on the counter besides Deceit, who wrapped an arm around Patton’s shoulders. He took a deep breath.

“I thought it’d be the end of being chased around. Maybe I’d get to farm and-and go back down to the town. I missed having neighbors. But, like….at that point, it’d been a year. A little over a year of working with Deceit’s magic. And, since it’s tied to preservation and honesty, I could….I could hear you lying. It’s weird, but I could hear it, but I wanted to believe it so badly,” Patton shrugged.

“That means it wasn’t a dumbass idea,” Deceit grumbled.

Patton laughed behind a hand. It seemed no one was going to mention that Deceit had sworn. Logan raised a hand, but Virgil grabbed it and lowered it slowly, all waiting for Patton to continue. It only took a few moments before his hand dropped, arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Yeah, um. That wasn’t my brightest, I’ll admit,” Patton’s voice was airier, “I let Virgil in. We sat in the kitchen. We….I think I was just rambling at you.”

“You were telling me about the chickens you were raising,” Virgil added, eyes flickering towards Deceit.

“And I didn’t interrupt. You had a knife in your sleeve,” Deceit met Virgil’s gaze.

Virgil looked down at the table and nodded. “Deceit, uh….we had a fight.”

All was quiet, Virgil staring at the table and fidgeting with his sleeves, but Deceit leaned off of the counter behind himself. “Do you not want me to show it?” he offered, sincerity clear in his voice.

Virgil stood up, head snapping up to Deceit. “Don’t,” he leaned forward on the table, nostrils flaring, knuckles tight on the table’s edge.

Roman stood up, too, and — where the fuck did he get that sword? He stuck a sword between the two of them, holding up his off hand towards Virgil’s chest.

On instinct, Thomas stood as well, drawing his own sword and holding it out to mimic Roman. “Woah, woah, calm down, everyone. If that’s—if that’s where the story ends, then that’s fine, right?” Thomas glanced up at Roman for support, who nodded, then at Logan.

Logan….didn’t move. He was just watching Patton, who was standing behind Deceit, seemingly stricken. Thomas watched, too, as Patton blinked a little. He moved slow, like how one would when approaching a scared animal.

“....Dee. Don’t do it,” Patton grabbed Deceit’s arm, tugging him back a little.

Deceit didn’t break eye contact with Virgil. Just watched him quietly, the second eyelid over his snake eye blinking slowly. Virgil was matching his glare and seemed only a few seconds away from ripping Roman’s arm away from himself.

Yet he broke first, looking down and away. The room’s tension dropped, Roman spinning around and sheathing his sword. He held Virgil’s shoulders carefully and asked if he was okay. Patton pulled Deceit backwards into his arms, holding him tight and asking the same. Thomas himself just….watched. Slowly sank back into his seat, leaned backwards. Logan patted his arm and Thomas turned up towards him.

“I hope you can excuse the tension,” Logan’s voice was quiet, probably hoping to not be heard by the others, “They have a lot of history.”

“They. Deceit and Virgil, I’m guessing?” Thomas whispered back.

Logan nodded, fixing his glasses as he glanced back up at Deceit. “Deceit is fairly tame, for a forgotten deity, but he is incredibly protective of Patton. Given that Virgil was assigned to kill him, Deceit….well. I don’t know much of the story myself, but I do know that Virgil was defeated in hand to hand combat. Multiple times. They get along fair enough now but I assume those memories are still difficult to sit with.”

They both looked up at the sound of Roman tugging Virgil toward the door. Thomas couldn’t see much of Virgil, wrapped beneath his thick patchwork cloak, but the one hand he could see was gripping Roman’s white tunic tight enough to turn his hand just as white. A murderer. It was still a little hard to process, this teenager was supposed to be a hardened murderer. Roman held the door open with his foot and carefully ushered Virgil out. He caught Logan and Thomas’ eye as he hurried out and mouthed “We’ll be back,” before letting the door close behind himself.

Now, Logan and Thomas directed their attention to Deceit and Patton. They’d shifted, Deceit sitting on the counter, Patton holding his hands tight.

“He’s very human, all things considered,” Logan murmured just loud enough for Thomas to hear, “If you’d like….I can show you to your room for the night.”

Thomas looked at him. Logan was watching him as well, blue eyes piercing behind those glasses.

He reminded Thomas so much of the librarian, Emile, but with a different level of power. When Thomas had been chosen he went to Emile, only to be held in the tightest hug he’d ever felt. There were rumors in their village, there are always rumors, that Emile had the Gift of Sight and that he’d been able to see what happened to his brother. The same piercing eyes, the same knowing gaze. They held Thomas in his spot so well that he almost forgot he wasn’t standing in the library’s foyer, about to ask Mr. Picani if he’d ever climbed a mountain.

“....I….”

“I know you’ve made your decision, Thomas. Regardless of your desire to announce it or not, there are still a few hours until dinner and you may find it best to rest,” Logan’s face folded into a small fond smile, “Besides, Patton has been arranging your room for the past decade.”

They’d been expecting him. Of course they had, if the Chosen One was a generational tradition lasting over the past hundreds of years.

The thought made Thomas’ blood boil. He’d trained for years to protect Tomasphere but the more he learned about the royal family….

He hoped Logan couldn’t see his anger. Thomas smiled back, more unsure. “Um. Yeah, sure,” he followed Logan as he rose and tucked in his chair.

“Patton,” Patton turned to look over his shoulder at Logan and Thomas, “I’m going to take Thomas to his room. Roman and Virgil are outside.”

“Wait,” Deceit’s hand — Thomas’ fists balled tightly as he saw that there were claws, claws on his scaled left arm, just like the claws that gripped his throat only a few days ago — pulled Patton’s shoulder to the side, “I can tell Virgil totally wants to finish the story, so I shouldn’t step in. Thomas’ isn’t staying, ergo the story shouldn’t be finished.”

Logan frowned at him, opening his mouth to interrupt, then closing his mouth as he tried to decipher the circle speak. Thomas watched him, deferring in a moment of fear, but Logan only shook his head. “I don’t think that will be necessary—”

“Virgil didn’t get his ass handed to him so bad, and it definitely took less than a week for him to fully recover,” Deceit rubbed the back of his neck, “It….I’m completely proud.”

“Dee, it’s okay.”

“I didn’t break his spine. He—Patton, sunlight, he—Patton.”

Deceit’s eyes flicked toward Thomas, whose fists clenched even firmer, and then down to the table. His shaking shoulders were hunched just enough for Patton to pull him back to his chest and for him to rest his head in the crook of Patton’s neck. “Now, Dee, you were different. That was a few centuries ago, and you were different. Things’re better now,” he rubbed the deity’s back, running a hand through his dark brown hair, “Things’re better.”

“I don’t know, Patt,” Deceit’s voice was muffled but held a distinct change in tone.

Thomas wanted to watch, something in him wanted to bear witness to this honest side of Deceit. He hadn’t been sure about Deceit’s sincerity since he’d met him, certain that there were backward statement and some very obvious lies, but, well, Thomas couldn’t exactly tell. The sentiment of his sorrow, though, and the tone. The tone of his voice. Was he being honest?

But Logan’s hand gripped his arm and tugged.

“Thomas. Let’s go,” his voice was firm, and Thomas couldn’t help but obey.

He followed Logan out of the kitchen and left Patton to calm the upset god. He followed Logan into a smaller room, furnished with a fully-made bed, a small desk, a wardrobe, and a candlestick in a lantern already glowing. It seemed quaint, like moving into a new room, but Thomas could already tell that it was meant to be “home.” He dropped his satchel onto the desk and looked up. There were stars drawn onto the ceiling in golden ink, an “R+L” in the corner paying homage to the artists.

If Logan expected some sort of reaction, he was sorely disappointed. Once he saw the bed, Thomas knew he was done for, as the weight of how much he’d gone through during the day finally crashed onto his shoulders. He took a few steps toward the bed, collapsed onto it and, within mere seconds, was asleep.

[tumblunni]

I did not know my nose contained so much nose

Bunni is sickkkkk aaaaghhhh

I noticed the sore throat coming on and was able to get some heavy duty throat anesthetic sweet thingies but i didnt realise it was a full on actual cold gahhh

I rarely ever get sneezey but when i do its like GOODBYE TO HALF YOUR BODY WEIGHT OUT YOUR NOSE

Its only been one day ive already gone thru a whole toilet roll and my nose is straight up bleeding from how raw its got. Wish i had chapstick or somethin, that still works on nose sores right??

Straight up cannot sleep because Nose. Can barely breathe thru my mouth too unless its at certain angles and then i end up inhaling snot down my throat and choking or having it stream out like a faucet and stick my face to the pillow.

God i need to wash EVERYTHING ive touched all day but im just so fuckin tired and its just gonna get more snot on it aaaaghhh!! Im just tossing shirts and blankets aside in a big snot pile. How to go thru all your laundry in one damn day..

And even the friggin INSIDE OF MY EARS is swollen, i think one of these times i choked on the snot i must have inhaled it down the wrong pipeway or something euuuufghhh

Meh at least im dehydrated from illness instead of crying for once

Thank u one million youtube vids for distracting me from nose hell. Yes i AM interested in learnibg about bootleg sonic the hedgehog toys at 4am, how did you know?

Sending all my power to any of my friends who are also sick today, or otherwise dealing with a shitty time! I will protec u!!!

[in-love-and-jeph]

💫 and uhhhhh playride and/or ned/conor

this was a bit longer than I wanted it to be also whoops it’s more friendship than actually shippy

Conor/Ned: Handsome Devil (2016)Buying Time: Great Big Sea

ao3 link

Ned woke up in the wee hours of the morning, pissed that he was going to be shuffling through the day like a zombie, when his internal train of complaints were stopped. Conor’s bed was empty. Now, if Ned had woken at a normal time, this wouldn’t be too concerning. Rugby practices often started before Ned got up. But, it was 5:30 in the morning. Conor was never gone this early. A small flash a panic hit him, but he pushed it down, choosing to look around for Conor before immediately turning to the dean. He might’ve just gone to the bathroom! Yeah. The bathroom. Ned’s thoughts slowed down to just a steady stream, and he sat down at his desk, sitting in the chair sideways so he was facing the door. He looked over at Conor’s desk, and noticed a note taped to the blank wall above the desk. He got up and ripped it off the wall. It read, “Couldn’t sleep. Didn’t run off. Don’t worry.” Ned let himself breathe for a minute, before deciding to go look for his friend. Tugging on his boots, he threw on a jacket and checked that his phone was in his back pocket, then left the room. For a minute, he contemplated just calling Conor, but he noticed Conor’s phone was still plugged in on his desk, so it would be fruitless.

It was a chilly morning. Dew was forming on the tips of the deep green grass, and the chill of the winter was only just leaving the air. The rising sun cast a pink and yellow glow on everything it touch, and the birds were only just starting to titter. Ned found Conor on the very edge of the school property, facing the rickety wooden fence and watching the cows on the other side graze. Ned sat down next to him, shelving the thought that his pants would be disgusting by the end of this in the depths of his mind for later. He leaned over and put his head on Conor’s shoulder and they stayed like that for a few minutes, watching the cows and feeling the rising sun beat down gently on their backs. After a while, Ned asked, “You okay?”

Conor took a deep breath in before responding. “I’m… I don’t know. My head is all mixed up. Nothing feels quite right.”

Ned sat upright and looked at Conor. He looked like a bloody disaster, his hair was a mess, limp and everywhere, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy, like he’d been crying, and his jaw was set in the way that Ned could tell meant something was bothering him. “Whatever it is, d’ya wanna talk about it?” Ned asked. Alarm bells went off in his head. He had no idea what to do, it’s not like you’re taught how to deal with emotional turmoil, especially someone else’s, but it wasn’t like he could just leave Conor to deal with it. He was stuck at a weird crossroads, where he wanted to run away as fast as he could, but something inexplicable was keeping him there.

“ Inexplicable? ” The voice in his head jeered. “ Inexplicable, my ass. You know exactly what’s keeping you there. ” But Ned shut it down fast before it could get him to do anything stupid.

Lucky for Ned, Conor just sighed. “No, not right now. I�� I think I just want to go back to our room.”

At the words ‘our room’, shivers ran down Ned’s spine. But he ignored it, just chalking it up to the chill in the air. “Good,” he replied, “‘Cause it’s fuckin’ freezin’ out here.”

In the next few days, Ned watched from afar as Conor seemed to disintegrate. But when Conor stopped going to class and practice, Ned took it upon himself to drag the issue out of him so they could at least deal with it. Watching Conor suffer silently like this hurt him more than he liked to admit.

So the next morning, Ned woke up to his alarm blaring at 7 am, and instead of turning it off, he let it scream on. He got up and made sure to be as loud as possible, and yanked open the blinds. Conor woke up, blinking, and obviously upset. “Ned, what the fuck?” He asked incredulously. “Well, Conny-boy, you’ve been sulking for the past week and-” Ned bent down in a squat next to Conor’s bed so they were at eye level. “We need to fix that.”

Conor just glared at him, so he muttered, “Fine,” and tried to pull Conor out of bed. He landed flat on his ass, and Conor was still lying comfortably in bed, although now he was smiling.

“Nice try,” Conor said. “You want to have another go?”

“Aw, fuck you,” was all Ned had to say in response. He glared at Conor, before remembering why he was doing this and softening his stare. “Please, Con. To be quite honest, I’m really worried about you.” He nearly wanted to gag at the words that had just come out of his mouth. That was so sappy! This was really weird. He never acted like this before. The part of his mind he liked to ignore wondered if it was all because of Conor.

Conor shot him an angry glare and rolled over so he was facing the wall.

“Dammit, Conor!” Ned exclaimed. “I’m just tryin’ to help you.”

“Fuck off,” came the mumbled reply.

Ned felt like slamming his head into the wall. He stood up and flung his hands up to his face. “Conor, you’re not making this easy,” he said in a warning tone, “What, is it O’Keefe? That fucker is a dick. Is Weasel acting up again? ‘Cause you can easily put him in his place. You know that, you’ve done it before. Oh—or is it your dad?” Ned knew he was right when Conor buried himself further into his sheets. “Come on, what did he do this time? Whatever it is, you still have to function, you can’t let him get to you, he doesn’t deserve even that-”

“Ned.” Conor cut him off mid-sentence. “Please… just go. I know all this already and I just have to… I just have to think.”

He sounded so defeated that Ned just stalled. “Uh.” he stuttered. “Yeah. Okay.” He turned to leave for breakfast, before remembering something. “One thing—Please remember to eat. Don’t think I haven’t noticed, you haven’t left the dorm at all. This isn’t healthy.”

Conor waiting for the door to shut before flopping onto his back again. Ned was right, and he knew it. He’d been telling himself all the same things since he’d gotten the call but it was like something was broken. He just couldn’t do, well, anything. He felt like shit, he smelled like shit, and he knew he looked like shit. He was putting himself through a hell of his own making, and it felt like there was nothing he could do about it, though he knew logically that he had all the power. “Fuck!” he mumbled, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop hot, angry tears from falling. His stomach hurt and his mouth was bone dry, and he felt disgusting all around, but he just couldn’t bring himself to get up. He stayed there for about a half hour longer, his pillow damp from the tears, and after the half hour he had made up his mind. He won’t stand for this bullshit. Not his own, not his parents’, not the school’s. And, he was going to take a goddamned shower if it killed him. After about 5 minutes, he had made it to the showers, which were (thankfully) empty since all the students were in class. He took one of the longest showers of his life, standing under the spray until it turned cold and he felt like his legs were going to give out under him. But he did it, he brushed his teeth, and he put on a new set of clothes. He got back to his dorm and he felt triumphant, like he had actually accomplished him. He sat down at his desk, and suddenly felt utterly exhausted, more tired than he had ever been before. His feelings of accomplishment were quickly washed away by the return of the feeling of utter uselessness. Conor felt like he could cry again. He grabbed his phone off the desk and sent a quick text to Ned.

could u bring me like toast or smth

im finally out of bed ud be proud

God, why did everything have to fucking drain him? He just wanted to be back to normal. His phone dinged, as Ned replied.

congrats

welcome back to the land of the living

Conor could vividly see the smirk Ned must be wearing. What an arse. Conor smiled softly to himself. Ned might be an arse, but Conor may or may not love it.

Ned returned an hour later, with a muffin and a bottle of water. In the time in between, Conor had stripped his bed for the first time that month.

“Wow, you’re even gonna do laundry?” Ned commented.

“Yeah, it’s gross at this point.”

“No fucking kidding!” Ned leaned over and sniffed Conor’s hair. “Oh, shit, you showered too?”

“Yes,” Conor snapped back, grabbing the muffin and water from Ned’s outstretched hand. “Fuck off, I’m still human.”

“You weren’t acting like it,” Ned mumbled under his breath.

Conor shot Ned an incredulous look. “Did you really think I couldn’t hear that?”

Ned only cocked an eyebrow in a skeptical look as a response. Yeah, Ned was definitely an arse. But for some reason, talking and joking with him like this made Conor feel better than he had in the past few weeks.

“Feelin’ better?” Ned asked in a soft tone, nodding towards the muffin that had a few bites taken out of it.

Conor’s eyes met Ned’s, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah. Yeah, a lot better.”