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krispykollection · 8 months ago

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Peanut Butter

Part 1: Anjay

"Seriously Anjay you're eating more of that stuff? Look at yourself, do you really think you need more? You're practically bursting out of your skin already."

Gosh, I almost can't even believe how we got here. If you had asked me if I'd be standing backstage at a local bodybuilding show with a hulked out and glistening version of my best friend Anjay, I'd have for sure thought I were hallucinating off some bad lunch… Funny how close to truth that would end up to be.

It all started 3 days ago when an unannounced package appeared on our doorstep addressed to Anjay. Not only was he not expecting anything, the contents were even stranger. Pulling off the packing paper revealed contents not immediately familiar to two skinny young men like us.

To the left a shimmery pile of purple blueish fabric. Anjay held it up cautiously as it unfurled. The garment presented itself as a bikini, the sight of it filling both of us with an awkward embarrassment of being in possession of such an obscene object.

Anjay quickly dropped it on the table before turning his attention back to the box. I had to lean in closer to make out the next object of mystery. A brown bottle of… tanning oil? "What kind of crazed sex fetish shit is this, David?" Anjay turned to me and questioned.

I didn't know what to say, so I just looked back down at what's left. The remaining item, while on the one hand familiar, only served to confuse further. It was a container of plain old peanut butter. At least something normal, but what on earth did it have to do with any of this? As I picked it up to examine it closer a final item was revealed underneath, and with it an explanation.

"Ohhh" we remarked in unison with the kind of trailing off that makes it clear we're still skeptical. It was a pass for what appeared to be a local bodybuilding show and not just any kind of pass, one for a competitor. That well explained the first two items, not a bikini, but a pair of posers, and not just any tanning oil, the kind used to cake a fake shimmering bronze sheen onto huge muscle heads so they can show off their freakish masses onstage.

The peanut butter could be reasoned to be just a backstage snack for a lunk like the probable intended recipient, but that's where the last mystery comes into play. The name on the badge, it was Anjay's. Realizing the same, he flipped the top flap of the box back to check the address on the shipping label, sure enough it was ours. "Hmph…" he said defeatedly.

In an effort to put a quick and tidy end to the strange past few minutes we had found ourselves in, I offered up a solution. "I guess there must be some other Anjay Bajwa in the area, the show probably just got the wrong address."

Anjay tacitly agreed. I'm sure we both knew the obvious holes in that explanation, our town isn't all that big, and being solidly in the midwest of the united states, Anjay Bajwa was not exactly a common name.

"This guy probably wants this… stuff, right? Should we, uh, try to find him?" Anjay weakly questioned.

I conjured up the image of the intended recipient. Some roided out freak standing wider than a doorway with arms bigger than my head ready to crush someone like me in a single moment. A rush of fear ran down my spine. With a similar picture playing out in Anjay's head, we turned to face each other and in unison uttered "Nah…"

Anjay put the items back in the box and loosely closed the flaps. He tossed it in the corner of the room to hopefully forget about, at least for a awhile.

I wish I could say the strangeness ended there, in fact that was almost true, all the way up to this morning.

I woke up before Anjay. The apartment was bare so I decided to head out early, grab a coffee and a bite, and run some errands. When I got back in the late morning I could sense something was off even before I opened our front door.

Through the opening door I spotted not Anjay, but a nearly naked yoked out freak. I stood frozen for a moment. He was thankfully facing away from me admiring himself in the small mirror hanging on the wall. I spied something familiar, the colorful posers. That's when it hit me, this must be the other Anjay looking for his package. A rush of fear shot down my spine, what if he's pissed we had it? Just look at those fucking arms, that back, he could pulverize me without breaking a sweat.

I stood there long enough for the creature to take notice. As he turned to face me, my fear took it's place as a side dish, with a main course of bewilderment. It was Anjay, my Anjay, from neck up at least, or what's left of it. Finally I broke my silence exclaiming "What the hell, man?!"

"Dave! I'm soo glad you're home! Bro, drop that stuff but hold onto your keys, we gotta hurry!" I instinctively stepped out of the way as he came powering towards me. In another second he was out the door, a gust of wind cast from his wide torso the only remnant by the time I had spun around. He was halfway down the hallway by the time I made it out the door. I was astonished he could move so fast with how big his legs had gotten, they clashed with every step yet he was practically sprinting to the parking lot. Still he was clad in nothing but those posers, but passerby's opted to say nothing, either terrified by the sight in front of them or insanely aroused.

Thankfully I hadn't locked my car doors, otherwise Anjay might have ripped the door clear off the hinges. The shocks of my late model sub compact protested as he slammed his weight into my passenger seat. Jeez, how much does he, does Anjay weigh now? Following his lead, I quickly hopped into the car myself. As I got in though, I slammed into what felt like cement, but turned out to be Anjay's arm.

"Huh, sorry bro, not used to my new width." Did he always say bro so much?

"Where exactly are we going in such a hurry?" I ask. That's when he pulled out another familiar item, the badge, pointing at it and exclaiming "Remember this? The expo center!"

"You've got to be kidding me!" too much had happened, too much had changed, it's all I could blurt out. "Look at me Dave, I'm gonna clean up bro!" Okay, that's a bro every sentence. "C'mon, we're gonna be late!" I took a second to sit and process as he sat by anxiously… "Okay, fine we'll go, but you gotta tell me what the hell happened to you."

Anjay was more than happy to tell the story of his morning. He started before I could even shift into reverse.

"Bro! oh my god bro, you won't believe it! So I woke up and there was like nothing in the house, but then I remembered that peanut butter from the other day. I grabbed a big ol' spoonful and plopped my ass on the couch."

As he spoke I found it hard to pay attention to the road, he was so animated, only exaggerated by his newly huge muscles, they were bulging everywhere at the slightest movement.

"A few minutes later, I started feeling this fuzzy feeling, I didn't know what it was, but it felt good. Bro that's when I noticed something else, my body was moving under my clothes, I lifted up my shirt and I had abs, abs bro!"

He took the opportunity to point at his obvious abs, flexing as he did.

"Once I connected the dots I practically ran back to the tub and dug back in… and before I knew it I looked and it was half gone! I knew I had fucked up, so I ran to the bathroom to check out the damage."

"My clothes were pulling apart at the seams, huge fucking peaks ripping through the arms, pecs busting out the front." He flexed each muscle group as he called it out. "Fuckin' delts, abs, quads, lats, traps, my god bro, you have no idea how good it felt, how good I feel!"

I recognized some of those words as he said them, using his obvious context clues for the ones I didn't. I had no idea Anjay was so knowledgeable about muscle.

"I didn't want to completely freak you out." Mission decidedly not accomplished. "So I tried to find something to wear, but the only thing that would fit were those posers�� when I slipped them on bro oh shit, they felt so good, I looked so good, but then something else happened. My mind started filling with all this new knowledge… muscle groups, workout routines, diets, supplements, cycles, poses! Before I knew it I was a champion bodybuilder, through and through!"

"Yeah, you can say that again…" I said acknowledging the physical embodiment of his statement. "I'm worried those posers might of sucked some knowledge out of you Anjay, since when do you use bro as a punctuation mark?"

"Haha, don't be silly bro, I've always talked like this… and call me AJ."

AJ? I sat there just wishing for my friend Anjay back, not this beefed up bro'd out version of him. Hesitantly I continued, "Ok… AJ, I just didn't know you were so into muscle?"

"I wasn't…" he paused "at least I think I wasn't, but I mean look at me bro, who wouldn't want this?" With that he raised both of his arms up to flex. As he did his lats? flared out and brushed my shoulder. "Shit, I didn't even know you could even have muscles there."

"Bro I got muscles everywhere and then some. Look at the class on my badge, super heavyweight… damn right! Fuck, I'm so pumped, I'm gonna crush it!"

Anjay… I mean AJ, had his bare foot on the ground before I had even come to a full stop upon arriving. Again I followed in tow. Unlike at the apartment, the sight of a muscleman clothed only in a shiny pair of posers was of shock to no one inside. It's what they're all here to see, what I was here to see I guess?

He led us straight backstage, scattered around were other men and their own companions all getting ready for their time onstage. Looking around I was shocked to realize that AJ was the biggest of any of them.

"Bro, take this," he handed me the bottle of tanning oil "you gotta help me tan up."

I was taken aback "I uhh… well I mean, I don't uhh." I looked around, elsewhere many men were doing the same, but I couldn't I mean, we're friends, but I.

"Fine," he grabbed the bottle back "I'll get started."

He dotted the bronze tan across his chest and started rubbing it in, following it up with his legs and arms. If you thought he looked insane before, with the shimmery coat of tan his new freakish form really popped. Halfway through, I heard his gut grumble, he turned back to grab something else, the peanut butter.

---

"Seriously Anjay you're eating more of that stuff? Look at yourself, do you really think you need more? You're practically bursting out of your skin already."

"I told you bro, call me AJ. Anjay sounds so… formal. As for this," he says as he gulps down a spoonful "I'm lickin' this baby clean…" "Now, I've done as much as I can, I need your help buddy, I can't reach my back." He contorts his arms up and over or behind and up showing just how far he is from reaching.

"I guess there's one downside to all those shiny new muscles," I quip.

"I wouldn't call it a downside, not when I have a bro like you…" with that he made a little pouty face unbecoming of his brutal form. I relent and swallow my awkwardness. "Hand me the bottle." His eyes light up.

I walk around AJ, and I mean around, and find myself staring at the contrasted light patch of his wide back. Man, I really wish I had gloves for this, I lament as I squirt a dollop into my palm. Distributing it between my hands I took a deep breath… here goes nothing.

I feel a jolt of electricity run though me as I make contact. Something's changed, something's flipped. I watch myself as I spread the bronze coating. The back in front of me is the same, but the interpretation has changed. It's not shocking, nor disgusting, it's a thing of beauty. I zoom out in my head, my god, the whole thing is, he is, AJ is. I feel my hands gliding over the many ridges of his back, turning perfection into more perfection. That's when I notice something else, the effects from the latest bite of peanut butter… he's growing. I can see his flesh expanding between my fingers, I can feel it press ever so slightly more against my hands. I've never felt so connected to AJ and I know he can feel it too. The world around us taking a backseat to our own shared reality.

I reapply and venture my hands further down south ensuring that his colossal glutes get the attention they deserve. I pull down his posers, ensuring every inch gets covered. Before I know it my fingers found themselves deep inside as I gently tease his hole. Electricity shoots through me again as I watch him squirm.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a figure coming in hot to our left. Fuck, we're busted, I think, followed up quickly by a different thought, wait, what the fuck am I doing?

The figure comes into focus, it's a frantic respectfully beefed up man in an official looking polo.

"There you are!" he yells out to us as I casually snap AJ's poser back into place. "You missed check-in, you better come with me right now if you don't wanna get DQ'd."

Not allowing for any protest he grabs AJ's hand to lead him away, muttering under his breath as he does, "These lunks, the big ones can't hold a thought in their head outside of their next rep…"

AJ grabs the peanut butter as he stumbles, then walks away. In between bites he shouts back "Grab a seat bro, I'll be lookin' for ya!"

With nowhere else to go I follow his instructions and find a seat in the amphitheater. In the relative calm I have a moment to process the events of the past few hours. Here I am, sitting at a bodybuilding competition waiting for my best friend to walk onstage and show off his insane muscles. I thought about how I feel about that, I have a vague recollection of being scared and confused, but now it seems clear. AJ's got muscles, he's a bodybuilder, of course we're at a bodybuilding competition. The only thing I feel now is anticipation.

I flash back to backstage as I sit and wait. I can't get the image out of my head. His muscles… so big, so hot, muscles are hot, AJ is hot, fuck! AJ is hot! I can't wait to see him again, to touch, I shiver. Almost on command the lights in the amphitheater lower to signal the start of the show.

Competitors start marching onstage, they all have nothing on AJ, I think, only confirming more as they continue to appear. The stage slowly fills as each hits their mark. Still no sign of AJ. I briefly worry something happened to him.

But then, the backlights of the stage are snubbed out by a hulking figure. It steps out under the stage lights. It's unlike any other man up onstage, it's hard to believe it's man at all. It's AJ.

A hush washes over the amphitheater. You couldn't just see, but you could feel his movements, you could hear him coming. The thuds of his footsteps, the stretch of his posers trying to hold back the mass he's become.

He hasn't even flexed a muscle yet but all eyes were on him. I had no idea a man could be so beautiful. He is absolutely bursting with muscle. Every limb, every surface stacked with veiny glistening meat. I find myself getting hard. I stroke my cock through my shorts and make note of many other men in the audience doing the same.

AJ is wearing a cocky smile confirming that he is aware of all our gazes. He coyly takes his place in the lineup, pretending that there's any possible way the show will go on as planned now that everyone has seen him.

To their credit, they did attempt to run though a few poses, but even those onstage found it hard to hold form when their attention was quickly snapping back to their muscled colleague. Noticing this, AJ steps forward to give everyone what they wanted, his juicy up body, up close and personal.

AJ goes through an entire routine like he's spent ages perfecting every pose. His front double bi threatens to encase his head in delt and bicep meat. His ab and thigh positively does. And those thighs, wide sweeping drops of muscle, transforming into carved marble columns as he stomps down.

He turns around to face the other competitors, winking at their astonished faces as he does. It's time to give everyone else the a view of what they've been seeing. His lat spread seems to just go wider and wider without any sign of stopping. And his glutes, my god, they're absolutely planetary.

Spinning back around, AJ playfully takes a customary bow indicating the end of the show. It was indeed the end of the show and he needn't move from that spot on center stage. Not wanting to keep the godlike figure waiting, officials rush out and crown him champion.

There's no lineup. Second, third, who cares, everyone else is a blur. He's first, second, and third both in size and perfection. Medals in hand, AJ turns and leaves the stage, leaving the crowd to reflect on what they just witnessed.

I find AJ backstage, swarmed by all types, attendees, officials, media, competitors, they all couldn't get enough of him, couldn't get close enough to him. He sees me and pushes his wide body through the crowd like it's nothing. He doesn't even skip a beat as he scoops me up and carries me out of the room.

I can tell I weigh nothing to him. I'm a warmup weight. Even without being terribly stressed, his muscles were putting on a show for me. I watch his biceps and pecs bulge to hold me, just taking in the sensation of being cradled by muscle. We lock eyes and smile knowingly.

AJ whisks us away into a side room away from the crowd and gently sets me down in front of him. The room is bare aside from us and the plastic taped on walls and floor for tan smearing muscle beasts like AJ. Not exactly what you'd call ambiance, but it didn't matter. We have all we need.

Without saying a word I step forward and place my hands on his chest. He flexes in approval. I feel a jolt run though me as I feel his pecs shift from beautiful pillows to striated boulders. I lean down and press my cheek against his cobblestone abs. I linger just feeling the motion of his gut contracting and expanding with every breath.

I bring my hands down to his posers and slip them down, his dick pleasingly flops out already semi-hard. As he comes to full mast I realize it's larger than I remember. It didn't grow as much as everything else, but it's still impressive. A stiff golden rod setting itself out from his dark bronzed quads.

I wrap my lips briefly around just the tip before taking it in deep with a skill like I had done this hundreds of times before. I'm in ecstasy as I feel AJ fill me so completely, as I hear him moan with pleasure while I hit all the right spots, as I watch his quads twitch up close and personal with every suck. His movements and breaths become sharply staccato as I take him to climax.

AJ grunts with gorilla-like intensity as he rockets three hot, huge, loads down my throat. I stand up and wipe my lips as AJ comes back down to earth. Once he does, he chooses to finally break the silence with, "It's your turn now, bro." His voice booms deeper than I remember, the statement hitting me like a ton of bricks. He turns around and fully drops his posers, struggling briefly against his quad meat as he does.

My already erect member twitches even harder at the sight of his uncovered ass. Even more so when he leans forward and his massive cheeks split. I hastily drop my pants and am practically pulled in like a vortex. I place my soft hands on AJ's granite glutes before inserting my cock into his waiting hole. I'm glad I went in so deep with the tan earlier, it serving as rudimentary lube.

As I begin to thrust, I watch the dancing mountainous landscape of AJ's back in front of me. His ass is magnificent, so firm and tight. Every few strokes he squeezes his mighty glutes ever so little sending pleasure rocketing through me and also reminding me that he could crush my dick to smithereens in a single flex if he wanted to, this only serving to rile me even more. Regardless, it's clear who is in control in this moment, he wants this just as bad as I do.

I collapse forward onto AJ's back as I cum. We both stay in this position for a few seconds while we catch our breath. Standing back up, we make ourselves as decent as we can. AJ pulling his skimpy poser back into place and me pulling my pants back up and trying and failing to wipe the stripes of bronzer now all over my skin and clothes.

I laugh as I look up at AJ. "What?" he asks.

"Sorry, I wore a spot out on your tan, haha."

AJ chuckles to himself as he turns to face me. "Oh shit bro, but look at you" I'm practically covered in splotches of bronzer. "Honestly, doesn't look to bad on ya, have you ever considered bodybuilding?" AJ heartily boasts. We both chuckle with the silly question serving to encapsulate the wild ride we both have been on.

"Something tells me there's a lot more of this to come, but first… this tank bro" AJ slaps his bloated muscle gut, "she's gonna need a lot more than peanut butter to fill 'er up."

With that we head back out together in search of what I assume is an ungodly amount of food to fill up my hulking best friend… boyfriend? possibly.

We're a total mess, anyone looking at us would have no trouble putting together what we just did. We hold our heads high regardless, because who gives a fuck, like you wouldn't if you could. But you can't, so might as well flaunt what's mine. Besides in reality no one is giving me a second glance next to him.

---

In that first stroll together as an item out in the world, AJ and David find themselves in a place of pure joy and contentment, ecstatic about their budding new reality and relationship. Little did they know what was coming next.

Waiting innocently on their doorstep… another package… Wonder who it's addressed to?

#muscle morph #hyper muscle #mg story #muscle growth story #bodybuilder #sannidhya bisht

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daenysx · 3 months ago

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Hey darling, just wondering if i could make a request about modern!aemond? it can be just some drabble about his wife(reader) telling him about her pregnancy, or them finding out their gender💘

hi, i'm a bit self conscious about this but i hope you enjoy! thank you for requesting <333

modern!aemond targaryen x pregnant!fem!reader , fluff

aemond started counting down the days since you told him the date of your appointment with the doctor.

he tries to be cool about it because the most important thing for your baby is to be healthy, he didn't really think about gender. he keeps calling the baby 'baby' , nothing specific, and to be honest he doesn't picture a girl or a boy in his arms when he imagines of the moment he finally gets to meet with the baby.

now, though, when you said you can find out about the gender at your appointment, a sudden chill runs through him. it's a funny feeling and no matter how calm he tries to be, he realizes he's excited beyond the words.

he wakes up earlier than you on the day of appointment, gives your cheek and the baby sleepy kisses. your hand goes to stroke his hair when he presses his lips on your belly but he's quick to not fall for your tricks. you always wanna stay in bed longer and somehow convince him to accompany you. this morning, he will not fall for that. he has things to do like finding out the gender of his baby.

you've been craving savory stuff for breakfast lately, and aemond took that as a challenge to find new options for you to eat. he's preparing the eggs when you walk next to him in kitchen, you kiss his cheek soundly before leaving for bathroom. it's all part of a routine and luckily you have more time to spend with him today since he got the day off.

"so, do you have any guesses?" you ask, after both of you settle down for breakfast.

"i feel like it'll be a girl." aemond says as he puts some olives on your plate. he gets some for himself too. "it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl, of course. i'll be happy either way."

"i think it's a boy." you smile. a little boy who looks exactly like your husband is one of the nicest dreams. "and, boy or girl, they will definitely have your hair."

aemond laughs at that. you take a sip from your tea. "i get so excited every time they make us listen the baby's heartbeat. it all becomes real. hard to imagine a baby growing in me otherwise."

you look really beautiful pregnant and aemond makes sure you know that. like you really know that. he finds himself staring at the changes he can spot on your body most of the time, especially in the mornings when he wakes up before you. your skin has a new type of glow, your belly grows bigger, and you have a sore back but it's all been okay until now.

the drive to hospital is filled with your favorite songs. aemond has a small smile on his lips and he doesn't try to hide it. his hand finds yours easily, leading the way to the doctor's room. it's like living a moment that has been there before. he thinks he's watching a movie scene, you're the actors, and now the doctor says her lines.

he can only focus on the sound of his baby's heartbeat. the room is silent. aemond doesn't necessarily believe in miracles but surely this must be some kind of a miracle. a part of both of you, alive and has a heartbeat. it's so beautiful. you can't help your tears, let them roll down on your cheek freely.

"are you ready to find out about the gender?" your doctor asks with a smile. again, it's like a movie scene. aemond holds your hand, you give the doctor a tiny nod. she keeps looking at the screen, her eyes squinting just a bit. aemond feels like his heart will stop.

"okay." she says, her finger pointing something on the screen. "here, can you see that? that's your girl, right there."

a girl? it fits right in to every dream aemond has. no, because what can be more beautiful than having a baby girl who looks like you? he imagines her tiny face, chubby cheeks and softness only she can offer, and he's never dramatic but it's enough to die as a happy man.

"it's a girl?" you ask, crying. "aemond."

he kisses your hair. you're happier, more than you thought you would be when you find out. the doctor says she's healthy and everything looks good, which is a huge relief. you give her nods as she talks about what will happen in the next weeks. aemond can remember those parts from the pregnancy book he read before.

the movie scene stops when you're back in car. it's the reality now. you will have a girl. a silver haired baby, maybe, with your eyes. aemond's smile is bigger now and he never lets go of your hand. now that the baby can have name options, it all becomes more- real.

"i can't wait to meet her." you say. aemond agrees. he can't wait to be a girl dad.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #house of the dragon #modern!aemond #aemond x you #aemond x reader #hotd #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen x fem!reader #aemond targaryen fic #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen imagine #dad!aemond

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harleys1nhawaii · 1 year ago

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TEASE [dabi / todoroki touya x fem!reader]

he's close, you easily can tell.

he's rocking his hips to your wet core harder each time, with no remorse. you're squeling, tears blur your vision. he knows what he's doing to you, how good he makes you feel, like nobody else can. you can hear his grunts and low hisses under his breath. god, you think, being this fine has to be unfair. once you finally manage to open you eyes, you stare up at him. he looked breathtaking with his head thrown back and mouth open, brows furrowed with desire and lust. and kind of...cute. you can't help but giggle at the sight. when your voice catches your own ears, you realize you might've put yourself in a situation you'll regret soon. he lookes down at you, with a slight smirk plastered on his face. if you weren't soaking already, you swore you'd cum just by looking at his face like that.

"what's up, dollface?" he rocks his hips harder this time and steals a low cry from you. but you're already under him and destroyed, so why not play along your little teasing as well? "you look cute when you're close." you cheekily grin. "oh, do i?" now, his smile is bigger than yours. he brings his thumb to wipe the tears peeking around the corners of your eyes as he slams his body to yours one more time. "let's see how ya look like then, shall we?" he purrs. once you see how his eyes darken and his grip on your waist gets rougher, it's your time to panic.

he was close, you swore he was close. but when you came sooner than him it was frustrating. little did you know, though, he wasn't going to stop. not after your silly little teasing. he wasn't going to stop until he could cheekily observe your cumming face enough to picture it for any other time, later.

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kairiscorner · 1 year ago

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question of the day: who would fall the hardest if they ever fell in love?

well... i've got 4 candidates in mind, and i think... (1/4)

miles g. morales — guilty of falling hard for you.

summary: miles morales always struck you as an apathetic guy, one who wouldn't particularly take relationships too seriously; until you both fell for each other, you realized... he did indeed fall for you, but he fell hard, way, way too hard for you. pairing: miles 42 x gn!reader genre: fluff !!

miles g. morales was, to you, such a cold, apathetic guy who always looked calm and composed in everything he did. he seemed like a guy that, you believed, wouldn't care too much if he was in a relationship–that he would put himself before his significant other; though you didn't have any evidence to back it up, save for how distant he seemed to you at first. but oh, were you wrong.

miles g. morales wasn't really all that insensitive as you thought when you got to know him, in fact–he was more sensitive to your thoughts, needs, and wants more than any other boy had ever been for you. it took a while, but the longer you spent around him, the more obvious was the fact that he truly, truly cared about you, from the bottom of his heart.

miles g. morales was the boy who'd stay after class, waiting for your class to finish so he could meet up with you and just be around you. ask him to explain why he's always risking his ass getting scolded for loitering outside your classroom, he can't give you one straight answer. "we had free time", "i had no where else to go", "i... left a pencil in that classroom. yeah."

miles g. morales would never admit to your face that he does indeed stare at you sometimes when you're not looking. whenever he sits close to you in class, be it behind, next to, or diagonally across to you–he always finds every angle of you to be a perfect angle to stare at and admire. don't be mad that he's looking, though, he can't help himself; you're way too mesmerizing for him to handle.

miles g. morales whose sketchpad gradually became a book full of... you in it. it started off as simple, small doodles of you; little cartoony you's that he found adorable and kept drawing when he wasn't focusing on anything else. but as time went by, he found himself focusing on you and your features more and more, almost as if he couldn't rip his gaze away from you.

miles g. morales had also noticed that whenever you speak, he hangs on to every word you say. he thought it would've creeped you out at first, how he can remember all the little details you'd tell him when you're telling him about something that happened in your day or how he remembers all the names of your pets, friends, favorite restaurants, favorite bands and artists–he hangs on to every word you utter, and he can't help it; your voice is just too tantalizingly sweet and attractive that he can't not listen to every word you speak.

miles g. morales was the boy who would use his intimidating appearance to his advantage and defend you against assholes who wouldn't take 'no' from you for an answer. he'd stare them down and glare at them, remind them for you that you said 'no', and if they didn't get the message the first time... they'll have to get through him to get to you. "i'm not gonna back down just because they're bigger than me, because i don't fear them. i don't fear them because, for all their brawn, they sure don't have any brains. and whatever happens after, i'll make sure you don't get in trouble; i'll shoulder the fault. i'd do this for you, every time."

miles g. morales would never wish to get in trouble or have beef with anyone else, but if it was you that others were bothering, then he'd willingly do everything he can to keep you safe and unbothered. he doesn't care what happens to him, so long as you stay safe, so long as it isn't your face being beaten in. you insist he shouldn't do these things for you, but... he can't help it. to picture you in danger makes his heart feel heavy; to get rid of that heaviness, he does these things for you, because he... he loves you.

miles g. morales doesn't dream at night, or at least didn't dream for a long while–or maybe he did and just forgets what he dreamt of the previous night–but when you two became much closer friends, he began to see glimpses and images of you in his dreams. in his wildest dreams, he was able to tell you in all kinds of scenarios that he felt weird around you–a good kind of weird. he'd feel a kind of warmth in his chest, accompanied by the pitter-pattering of his heart when your eyes lock with his, and he feels this urge in the corners of his lips to smile widely when you smile up at him. and, he'd never tell you this, but... in those dreams, he'd tell you how he really feels, and you'd teach him how to handle those feelings by placing your hands on either sides of his cheeks and pulling him close to your face–your nose feeling so soft against his own when your noses brush together–and with the feeling of your hot breath against his own lips... he wakes up.

miles g. morales wakes up to the reality that you probably only see him as a very good friend, a friend you used to think wouldn't care about those who love him but was proven very, very wrong. the friendship bracelet you made for him sits there by his nightstand, next to a cutely frame photo of the two of you at your birthday party. you designed that photo frame for him, and despite how a guy like him probably wouldn't care for cute things... he finds comfort and solace in a bit of cuteness in his life; he just wishes he could express that to you, you, who is cuteness personified. he wears that friendship bracelet every day–and wears it proudly. he doesn't hide it under his sleeve nor tuck it away when you're not looking; he's always got it on and shows it off by just having it on him. he loves having mementos of you on him, it gives him a feeling he hasn't had in a long time... and he hopes that, by some miracle, you'd feel that feeling for him, too.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya @onginlove @meowmoraless @euphovlq @anikaluv @conitagray @q2ie @zalayni

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ham1lton · 6 months ago

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47 with FA14 please :)

047. the inside of an elevator that won’t move w/ FA14.

— part of a series of drabbles! <3

you were incredibly annoyed. so annoyed in fact, that you were this close to quitting this job. your very cushy hybrid job which paid incredible and gave you your own office even though you mostly worked from home. toto, your boss, had given you the alonso case which meant that you’d be working through your sister’s wedding. the same wedding you’d booked off months ago.

you get in the elevator, slightly fuming, as an older man also got in the elevator with you. he turns to you.

“floor three please.” he asks politely, as you’re standing next to the buttons. you seethe but press the button for him.

as the two of you stand in silence, the elevator suddenly stops. you give each other a panicked look. the silence between the two of you is heavy, only broken by the occasional faint hum of the elevator’s machinery. you click the help button and after a short conversation with the very unhelpful guy on the other end, you’re told help will arrive in half an hour.

“great! just what i fucking needed.” you mutter. he turns to you. “what? like this is a great situation for you either?”

“no, obviously not.” he says, in very accented english.

“so don’t give me that look.” you roll your eyes.

he raises his hands defensively. "okay, okay. truce?"

you sigh, realizing you're being unfair. it’s not like it’s his fault. "yeah, sorry. it's just been a really bad day."

"tell me about it," he says, leaning against the elevator wall. "what’s got you so worked up?"

"my boss just dumped this huge case on me last minute," you say, frustration bubbling up again. "it’s for this big client, alonso or something. now i have to miss my holiday because of it. i had the time off booked for months."

he raises an eyebrow, clearly surprised. "alonso? that's tough."

"yeah, and all because some big shot can't finalize a business contract on time," you grumble. “what’s so important about this stupid contract anyways?”

he looks away, as if contemplating something. "sounds like a real pain. what do you do, exactly?"

"i'm a corporate lawyer. and you?"

he hesitates for a moment before answering, "i'm... in business. finance, mostly."

you roll your eyes. "well, mr. finance, at least you’re not stuck working on a weekend for some unreasonable client."

the silence that follows feels heavier than before, and he shifts uncomfortably. "yeah, must be tough," he says quietly.

you frown, feeling slightly guilty for venting so much. "sorry, i didn't mean to unload on you. it's just been a lot."

he nods, offering a small, understanding smile. "i get it. sometimes things don’t go the way we planned."

you both fall silent for a second, the hum of the elevator the only sound, as you wait for help to arrive. then, as if compelled to fill the void, you continue. "it's just... my sister's wedding this weekend. i've been looking forward to it for months. and now, because of this contract, i'm going to miss it. i don't even know why it's so urgent."

he shifts again, looking like he wants to say something but isn't sure if he should. "maybe the client has their reasons," he offers carefully. "not that it makes it any easier for you."

"yeah, well, whoever they are, i hope their business crashes and burns," you mutter darkly. "no contract is worth missing something so important."

there's another pause before he speaks again, his voice softer this time. "sometimes, it's hard to see the bigger picture when you're in the thick of it."

you look at him, a hint of curiosity mixed with your frustration. "you sound like you know a lot about this."

he gives a half-smile as he shrugs, almost rueful. "more than i'd like to admit."

before you can ask more, the elevator jerks and starts moving again. you both breathe a sigh of relief as the doors slide open. he gestures for you to go first. "after you."

as you step out, you glance back at him. "thanks for listening. and sorry for the rant."

"anytime," he says, his smile warm but his eyes holding a hint of something you can't quite place. "good luck with that contract. and i hope you find a way to make it to your sister's wedding."

"thanks," you say, still feeling a bit unsettled as you walk away, wondering why his understanding smile seemed to hold more weight than a simple stranger's sympathy.

later that evening, as you’re buried in paperwork, your phone buzzes with an email notification. it's from toto. you open it, and your heart skips a beat.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

subject: urgent update on alonso case

dear l/n,

i have some unexpected news regarding the alonso contract. the client personally requested to change the deadline, granting you the weekend off. i know this is a surprise, but please take the weekend to attend your sister's wedding.

best,

toto.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

your mind races as you read the email again. how did the client know about your situation? you stare at the screen, the pieces slowly clicking into place. the man from the elevator—the one who listened so intently, who seemed to know more than he let on—he must be connected to alonso.

the realisation brings a mix of emotions: relief, slight embarrassment, gratitude, and a touch of something warmer. you can't help but smile, remembering his kind eyes and supportive words. your phone beeps again.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

subject: dinner invitation

dear y/n,

i hope this message finds you well. i wanted to extend an invitation for dinner sometime this week. it would be a pleasure to meet in person and discuss matters beyond business.

please let me know if you're interested and i hope you enjoy the wedding.

warm regards,

fernando alonso.

ceo of alonso corp.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

author’s note: i don’t actually write for fernando but this was calling to me so i decided to fulfil the prompt. i hope this isn’t too ooc. my bad. also reader and ceo!alonso go on the date and fall in love and the week before their wedding he pretends to get her on a contract all over again bc he thinks its funny.

#ham1lton’s drabbles 🝮#formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 fanfic #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso x you #fa14 x reader

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kirkscarr · 4 months ago

Text

ok so i just finished my book cover for First, Best Destiny - Part 1 by the amazing @ophelia-j !!

admittedly i was going to wait until i actually attached the text block to the cover before i posted this haha, but i was SO excited after making this cover that i decided to just post it and then update with the finished product later!!

this book is absolutely embedded in my soul, and words cannot even describe how gorgeously it’s written. it’s a book that made me realize - hey, the adventure doesn’t end as you grow old.

you can read it here. i promise you won’t regret it!!!

anyways!!! here’s all of my other bookbinding steps for anyone interested.

cam’s somewhat incomplete bookbinding guide

please note that i am an AMATEUR hobbyist. please do not actually use this as a tutorial.

oh also!! bookbinding terminology will have a * by it which will be explained at the end in order to make this flow better. i’ll also link the tutorials i used at the end of this for anyone interested.

1) Formatting the document! I downloaded the original text as a PDF, and then designed a cover page, grabbed some art from the internet (i know, frowned upon, but this is just a personal copy so it is what it is), and then designed a table of contents and chapter icons!!

*side note! i added which episodes each chapter follows to the table of contents (pictured below) as this book was written as an accompaniment to TOS and the movies.

2) Next, I printed out all NINE HUNDRED PAGES??? admittedly i could have done it in less if I’d used a bigger page size, but sending things out to be printed is expensive so we made do. after printing, i folded them into signatures*.

*there’s an additional note about the paper i used at the end

3) punching out holes in all the signatures! although not technically necessary, I honestly don’t think i would’ve been able to sew this behemoth without doing it.

4) sewing the pages into a real!! actual!! book!! this was the part i was most nervous about. i’ve NEVER attempted to sew anywhere near this large of a book before, so i tried out a new method of sewing in hopes of making it a bit more sturdy. we won’t know if it worked until this book endures some wear and tear, but i’m pretty optimistic!

5) next up is glueing the spine! this is where it really hit me that a lot of bookbinding is just…glueing shit together. later i also added cardstock to the spine in hopes of helping it adhere to the cover better, and a book headband* for decoration.

5) now we’re onto the book cover!! they only sell bookboard in minor bulk around here, so we’re not even gonna discuss how much bookboard i now own… anyways! i glued the faux leather onto the bookboard and then let that dry.

6) last up! off to the cricket! a huge thank you to my friend for letting me borrow her cricket AND supplies! anywho, this is where i designed my cover art. i then adhered the design to the cover. after this step, i realized i…definitely need some kind of sealant - so, if any more seasoned bookbinders have suggestions for this i am all ears!!

all in all, this was a super fun project, and a great way to kill some time while i recover from surgery! i absolutely plan to bind the sequel at some point, but that may be a…ways away. i’m a STEM major and school starts back up soon so…time will be in short supply lol!

To be continued...

Terminology

*signature: group of sheets folded in half, to be worked into the binding as a unit.

*book headband: just look up a picture if you’re curious because tumblr says i can't add any more pictures lol.

*about the paper!! i actually got it from a local specialty paper store, but if you want something similar i've heard amazon has some good bookbinding alternatives!

Tutorials

please PLEASE go check out Jess Less on youtube. she's phenomenal. here are her vids and what i used them for.

youtube

don't laugh!! i actually stole MOST of my techniques straight from this video.

youtube

i used this one to help me format the book correctly! although i still ended up with some goofs haha (see: any pages on the left side have the page number in the margin LMAO).

#Youtube #k/s #k/s fanfic #tos spirk #spirk #star trek #i have no creative tags :((#star trek fanart #star trek tos #star trek art #book binding #custom book bind

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olderthannetfic · 5 months ago

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its kinda hilarious to be honest that saying "because of the rampant bigotry in harry potter, and because of j k rowling's extremely pubic behavior, and the fact that she spends any money she gets from harry potter, which includes library purchases, official merch, etc, on material harm, i can not think of the fans as safe people to interact with" is something thats a controversial opinion.

its not even a "this thing is gross, evil, and should not exist" thing its a "you realize she uses any money she gets from this, which she will continue to make tons of money from this as long as it remains culturally relavent, to actually harm a marginalized minority she has decided to hold a personal vendetta against until the end of time".

if she were dead and the money wasn't going to hurting a group of people who can't actually defend themselves against a whole entire billionaire, i don't think the people squicked out by harry potter fans would care so much.

and the people squicked out haven't actually put out calls to harass them or anything, more just saying things like "i'm going to block you for my own safety, because you're not safe to me"

they aren't pulling anti shit. they're calling the fandom a personal red flag, who they choose to avoid.

pretty telling to be honest, that the reaction to that one account going "yeah no." in regards to not judging harry potter fans got so many people angry at them.

reminds me of why i choose to stay anonymous in fandom spaces.

oh no. someone is uncomfortable your personal comfort media written by a bigot who uses her money to make a very vulnerable minority groups lives hell, and her rhetoric has actually caused deaths! better block the person and write a bunch of stuff talking about how thats anti behavior so i don't have to think about the fact that i help rowling maintain cultural relavence, and therefore help her earn money that she uses to hurt people!

pathetic

We've had this wank many a time.

Personally, I'm not sympathetic to the fact that it's people's comfort media or unique for them. That just ends up annoying me for how other fandoms could be bigger or more vibrant if some of those HP fans migrated.

However, the reason people are pushing back so much on my tumblr is that we talk a lot here about censorship and media and the bigger picture. JKR is a menace, but HP is so astronomically popular that the fanfic arm of its fandom is essentially meaningless to its overall cultural clout.

I think people should go stan some other author because we could make a book fandom happen and authors able to pay the rent if we cared to put our energy towards somebody smaller. I have this same objection to the forever fandom of SPN and all the people whining about but not leaving MCU fandom. To JKR, we're gnats, but our presence would actually make a difference in some smaller space.

But the kind of ask you've just sent only makes people less willing to let go of HP.

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controlmyfeet · 1 year ago

Text

i still feel everything when you are near - matty healy

matty healy x ex!reader

angst

warnings: exes, alcohol consumption, insecurities, jealousy (kinda?), pining, kissing, crying (lmk if there’s more i need to add!)

a/n: not sure about this. i think the last time i tried to write fanfiction i was 13, so feedback is appreciated but pls be nice lol. also, english is not my first language!

3570 words

it still hurts.

i didn't think it would hurt as much after 6 months, but seeing him in the flesh makes me realize it does. i thought i was already used to it, thought i was actually doing a good job moving on, if we ignore my slump in the first 3 weeks after the breakup, where i would just leave the house for work and groceries (that i would overbuy because i forgot i'd just cook for myself), i think i was doing pretty okay.

i should've guessed he would be in the city. he can't stay in one place for too long; if he has a few days free in between shows, he's going to look for a studio to work in. usually in london, los angeles, or here. most of the time, he ends up here.

but i never know where he is anymore.

i deleted twitter from my phone after 2 months. maybe because of the questions, perhaps because i didn't care, or maybe i was tired of reading all the tabloids and fearing they were true. maybe i care too much. whatever, right? it just means i haven't seen him in a while, even in pictures.

i'm sitting by the dark wooden bar counter when i first spot him. he's standing with charli and george in the vip section near the dj booth, surrounded by people as always. my friends noticed that he's here too, but they haven't said anything, which i'm grateful for. i'd rather pretend it doesn't affect me.

he looks different, though. his arms are bigger, and his hair is longer; soft curls fall over big brown eyes that crinkle whenever george says something funny. he still has that boyish smile.

lulu and bea went dancing and i said i'd join them in a minute. we go to this club every time we're in the city, but tonight it is more crowded than usual. my secluded spot at the bar being the only place i won't be pushed around. still, i feel bad. it's my best friend's birthday, and we came to new york together to celebrate, but instead, i'm drowning my sorrows with cosmos.

"you won't even say hi now?" i hear matty's voice from behind me and turn around, startled. he stands tall and confident as always, but his eyes no longer hold the same energy. here, up close, i can see that his eyebags look more prominent, and his stubble has grown slightly. he looks tired. i don't think i look any better.

"hi," i say, looking into his brown orbs, phlegmatic, as if the butterflies in my stomach aren't going batshit crazy right now "i didn't see you, sorry."

he grins cheekily, "it's alright, darling."

i don't really know what to say. he should hate me, honestly. it wouldn't be surprising considering how we left things, with all the yelling, name calling. with all the broken picture frames. it started with another rumor while he was on tour, another leaked picture. he was so dismissive and vague about it that i just couldn't find it in myself to trust him, and he could only complain about how childish all of it was.

i guess he doesn't, though. they have free drinks inside the vip section. i remember it from when we came here together. he doesn't need to come all the way to the bar for a drink.

"it-it's good to see you," i stutter, apprehensive now. fearing that maybe he really does hate me, and just walked over to tell me how much so. i mean, i would hate him, too, if i could. but no matter how hard i try, i can't. and believe me, i've tried.

matty is standing so close that the loud music sounds muffled now, and the warm, dim light of the bar reflecting on his silky skin makes me want to melt into his arms. so i try to keep my eyes focused on my feet.

he seems to notice that i'm struggling as i fidget with my empty glass.

"can i get you another one?" he asks amicably. my eyes shift from my feet to the glass in my hands and back to his eyes.

"sure," i reply shyly.

he asks a bartender polishing wine glasses next to us for another cosmopolitan. behind the man, shelves from the same material as the counter hold a collection of glass bottles of different colors with labels sporting french and italian names. matty sits on the barstool beside mine. "so…what are you doing here in new york? i thought you hated the city this time of the year."

and it's true, i hate new york during the summer. the concrete buildings seem to make the temperature much higher, and tourists crowd every corner. it feels claustrophobic. the subway also smells extra bad during these months. but i loved being here with him, no matter the season. i loved being anywhere with him.

"well, yeah. but it's lulu's birthday, and she wanted to celebrate it here, so here we are. the three of us."

"bea is here too?"

"she is, yeah."

him talking about my friends is familiar. many sunday evenings were spent on his couch sharing a bottle of red with my newest candle burning on the side. at the same time, i'd tell him about the most recent gossip in my friend group, and he would listen.

the barman places the new drink before me and takes the empty glass. i thank him and take a sip of the pink liquid. it's sweet and sour, and the vodka calms my nerves a little bit. he's staring at my lips. so i lick them clean.

he shifts, and suddenly, i feel his calloused fingertips brush against my elbow resting comfortably over the counter. much more tender than last time; my skin burns where he touches it.

"how's your writing going?" he asks, looking into my eyes now.

i tell him i'm still at the magazine, it's going alright. not a lot has changed since we broke up. but it's less exciting, more monotonous. i leave that part out. and he asks me about my own stuff, poems and essays hidden in my drafts.

it's just awkward small talk. so awkward. like we're just acquaintances. friends of friends being left alone, being civil to each other.

it's also a conversation we've had before. documents on my computer that weren't fitting enough for the editors or that i just wrote on a whim. he used to tell me to publish them either way, to leave the magazine and find people who actually appreciate my work, or to start my own thing. but it would be useless; they're not good enough.

"well, i don't know, it's been a while since i've written anything out of work." i take another sip, just to calm down a little. "haven't felt very inspired lately."

oh my god, shut up– i can't say this to my ex. it's embarrassing, pitiful.

"it happens." he takes my hand and brushes his thumb over my knuckles. i still shiver "you're really talented, love. you should be proud of yourself. i am."

even his praise hurts now; i miss hearing it daily. it's a stab in my chest, salt on the wound. so i just bite my lip and nod. afraid that if i say something, a choked sob will come out.

there's longing in his eyes, and he gets a look like he wants to say more. but his gaze flickers behind me for a moment, and he drops my hand and gives my left shoulder a squeeze, showing me a soft smile.

"i'll leave you be, then. it was nice seeing you, love."

there's a voice in the back of my head begging me to make him stay, but i know i can't do that, not when i recall why it ended the way it did. still, i want to reach for his hand and pull him back to me, just for a few minutes at least. but someone grips my shoulders.

"there you are!" lulu says excitedly, already a few drinks ahead of me. her dark blonde hair messy and her skin glimmering with sweat from all the dancing. bea follows right behind her. "c'mon, let's do some shots, you need to power up for all the dancing you owe me."

"alright." i force a giggle and down my drink as bea asks the bartender for three tequila shots.

a few minutes and many shots later, the three of us are on the dance floor, swaying wildly to the loud, thumping bass of whatever music the dj's playing. just being around my girls makes me feel less anxious, and the flashing lights, plus all the alcohol already flowing through my body are making my mind a bit hazy, which helps me let loose a little.

as i move, i can feel the beat of the music inside my chest, sweaty bodies pushing against me without a care. i even forget about matty for a minute. i don't think about how his hands used to feel on me when we danced together, not at all.

we dance for maybe 30 minutes. until lulu finds one of her many ex-flings, and, as they catch up, bea asks me to go to the bathroom with her. taking my hand, she leads me out of the crowded area and towards the door labeled "ladies' room".

the contrast from the mostly dark club to the bathroom's white walls makes my eyes squint. it's colder in here, quieter. i can hear the stifled bass from the music and high heels clicking against the floor tiles.

as i wait for bea, i brace myself on the sink in front of me and look into the mirror. everything is happening too fast. talking to matty, downing shots, and being dragged to the dance floor immediately. my head is pounding. i didn't have the time to process what is going on tonight.

my ears are ringing, and it feels like all the alcohol has suddenly lost all its effect. instantly sobering up, i grab a paper towel and dab it on my arms and face to try to get rid of the sweat. turning on the sink, i wet my hands and place them on the back of my neck to cool down and try to help with the dizziness. i hear the toilet flush, and bea comes out of the cubicle, running her hands through her wavy black hair. i reach into my purse and pull out my lipgloss, coating my lips evenly while looking at myself in the mirror.

"i'm going to the back for a bit," i tell bea as she approaches the sink next to me.

"you okay? do you need water?" she asks, concerned

"yea- yes, i just need to breathe a little."

"okay, text me if you need anything." i just nod and leave the bathroom. she knows me, knows i need to be alone.

pushing through crowded bodies, i head to the club's back door, leading to a narrow alleyway where the employees usually store extra liquor bottles. it also doubles as a smoking area, so i shouldn't be surprised when i see him as soon as i open the door. tattooed arms flexing as he lights a cigarette, probably not his first one of the night, and i turn back to try to leave before he sees me.

"leaving so soon?" i turn around again and already feel my cheeks heating up. embarrassed, like a kid caught eating dessert before dinner. "you can stay."

"it's okay, i'll go somewhere else," i wave him off mindlessly. he came here to enjoy his cig on his own, right? he doesn't need his ex-girlfriend plaguing his chill alone time "i don't want to bother you, i just need some air."

"please stay." it's not the first time he says this, but this time i do.

with pink-tinged cheeks and heels clicking loudly, i slowly walk down the three small steps in front of the door and move to stand across him with my back resting against the club's brick wall. the warm summer air hits my skin, and i can hear the rustle of the traffic. "you could never bother me." i pretend i didn't hear him.

"i thought you were quitting," i motion to the burning cigarette between his fingers. the moonlight illuminated the alleyway, making the smoke around him look like some kind of silver aura. he smiles at me.

"i'm trying," he says, taking a drag and blowing it out by the side of his mouth, and i laugh.

"it sure looks like it," i reply, still smiling. i'm not as nervous as i expected i would be in this situation; maybe the alcohol hasn't worn off as much as i thought.

he shrugs, running a hand through his hair. "well, you know me".

my eyes follow his every movement, long, calloused fingers holding the rolled paper limply and bringing it up to his red, pouty lips. i start to fidget with the end of my skirt, trying to distract myself by looking at how my fingers twist the fabric. busying myself, so i don't remember how those same lips used to feel against my own or on the curve between my neck and shoulder.

i look up again when i hear matty step on his cigarette– putting it out– and he starts to walk in my direction. my breath hitches. we are face to face now, noses almost touching. closer than we were at the bar. i can see every freckle on his face when he's this close. i can see the chapped corner of his mouth and the grey that's starting to show up on his now tousled hair.

"why did you leave?" he's straight to the point. his voice comes out low, almost a whisper. at our position, there's no need to be louder than that. there's no hatred in his tone; still, he's not smiling. a flash of hurt appears on his face for a moment. "didn't i make you happy?"

"of course you did, matty." i build the courage to look into his eyes, honey pouring out of them. "we've already talked about this."

he lifts his right hand to rest it on the wall beside my head while letting out a scoff. "but i don't get it," his tone is a little bit louder now. he's not aggressive, but he's not whispering anymore. "what happened?"

"it was for the best." i've stopped whispering too. i place my hands on my forehead. as if to avert the impending headache that will follow this conversation. i don't really know what happened either or when it started happening. i feel sweat droplets running down my hairline, not sure if it's from the summer heat, our closeness, or my disquietude.

"for the best of who?" he questions, lifting an eyebrow, "i don't feel any better!"

"we were fighting all the time, you know this!" there's a lump in my throat, and i can already feel the pressure between my eyes, working hard so the tears don't fall. i lower my voice again. "it was only a matter of time until one of us left, i just left first."

his gaze softens– probably after seeing my flooding waterline– and it's a while before he talks again, as if he's gathering his thoughts. thinking before he speaks for once, "i could never leave you" it's a low, gravely whisper, and i probably wouldn't have heard it if we weren't this close. "i wish you'd stayed."

it's a blow to my chest. like a gunshot, blood running down my ribcage. and for a second, i don't think i can breathe.

"i wish you'd done a lot of things, matty." my vision is blurry now, and i feel a single tear roll down my right cheek. i wish he would answer my calls when he stayed late at the studio. i wish he would listen to me when i said i felt neglected. i wish he would give me more security when i felt jealous of the girls partying with him and the boys while i was on the other side of the pond. i wish i stayed. when i can't sleep because i suddenly realize that my bed is too cold, too empty. when i wake up, and there are no kisses on my bare shoulder. when i have to climb over my kitchen counter to reach the can of pasta sauce on the top shelf. when i'm so anxious, and there's no one to hold me… "sometimes i wish i stayed too."

slowly, his hands cup my jaw. long fingers run lightly across my skin and wipe the lonely tear on my face. the hairs on my neck straighten up, and my heart stirs, beating a little faster. he carefully traces his right thumb over my lower lip, giving me time to reject and push him away. and then, his soft lips lock on mine. no warning. i feel his stubble rub against my chin and let out a sigh. there's a flutter on my lower stomach, burning. i should have pushed him away. instead, my fingers trail up his neck, nails brushing against his skin, and finally into his hair as he coaxes his hot tongue into my mouth. he tastes like cigarettes, of course. i can also taste the rum and lime from the mojito he had earlier. one of his hands travels down and he pulls me by the waist, bodies touching fully now. matty groans into my liquored mouth and i preen; it's good to know i still have that effect on him. that i can still make him let out those pretty sounds with just a kiss. it might be selfish, but we both are. because i bet he's proud too, that every touch of his still sends shivers down my spine. i pull out for air first, lungs already starting to burn. my fingers are still buried in his curls as he rests his forehead on mine, both breathing heavily.

"i need you, love," he whispers against my kiss-swollen lips, voice cracking. there's a smudge of lipgloss on the side of his mouth. it was no use reapplying it.

"matty, i can't," my voice comes out weak, just like how i feel.

"why not? you got somebody?" matty frowns, starting to sound a bit agitated.

i shake my head lightly "i don't."

"what is it?"

"i already told you" it's my turn to cup his face now, scuff prickling against my palms. "we already had this fight before, you get annoyed because i can't trust you, and i start yelling because you don't take me seriously!"

"of course i take you seriously!" he defends, already becoming increasingly exasperated. i just shake my head; there's no use going through this all over again. it hurt enough the first time. however, i still close my eyes, knowing that if i keep looking at him, the chances of me believing him are higher.

"i'm not built for this, matty," for being away from him, for time zones and phone calls, for pretty girls throwing themselves all over him "i'm not strong enough."

"look at me, baby." his hands moved from my waist up to cup my face again, thumb brushing lightly over my cheekbones. "please," i open my eyes.

"do you love me?" he asks. i realize his eyes are glossed over now "because i love you. so fucking much."

it will be easier if i say no, break his heart all at once. give him a reason to give up. it takes me a while, but i nod.

"yeah?" there's a glimmer of hope on his wet iris.

"i do, but-"

"then we'll figure it out" it's not that simple; just figuring it out is not enough. we hurt each other.

"we'll just end up in the same place, matty," i explain firmly. at this point, tears stream both of our faces. his chest heaves, and i try to contain another sob. he turns his face slightly to press his lips to my palm, just for a second.

"stay with me, please." our noses touch, and i can no longer distinguish his tears from mine. "i'll do better, i swear."

"it's not going to work."

"just for tonight at least, please," it comes out ragged, and he grazes his lips on mine, leaving a gentle but salty peck. "just for a little bit."

this shouldn't be happening. it's a mess, all of it. no matter how hard or how many times we try, even if we start all over again, we'll just end up in the same place. i know how i am and how he is. our love is tainted, a ticking bomb. so no matter how much i love him, how much i want him, i know we'll just go back to those screaming matches and broken pictures.

but if we keep doing this again and again, maybe then we won't have to say goodbye. at least i won't have to spend an entire lifetime missing him. so maybe just one night won't hurt, right? i've done it a million times. staying for just a little bit won't hurt…i think.

okay, just for a little bit.

#matty healy x reader #matty healy angst #the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty x reader #the 1975 fanfic

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imnotjaesblog · 1 year ago

Text

Part 6: The Geek

Starring: Mark Lee

Summary: A certain boy can't seem to keep quiet after being warned countless times. Y/n was able to hold him off but the more he continued to talk she realized she needed to bring out her big guns and make an important call. She also starts to realize some mixed feelings are beginning to get in the way of her plans. In an attempt to stop this feeling, she slowly starts to lose her friend. Replacing him with a slightly older boy with glasses.

Warnings: Smut, Oral (F.m receiving) Fingering, Sugesstive, Tension Build and Manipulation.

Words: 8.7k

MINORS DO NOT READ!!!

Enjoy :)

"Who's been talking?" you asked Jisung. You both sat in your living room on the carpet. Two hot cups of tea placed in front of both pog you. Jisung sipped his tea nervously before he spoke gulping the hot liquid before he spoke. You waited your finger tapping on the glass coffee table. Your dog emerged from the front door onto the couch just beside Jisung who sat in front of the white couch.

He sighed placing the cups down.

"Haechan-"

"That little cunt. I knew he would open his mouth. Probably pissed at me still," you began but Jisung waved his hands motioning for you to slow down.

"It's not just him," he said. "He only started talking when Johnny pressed him for information," he said.

"Why would Johnny press him? I haven't even got to him yet," you asked trying to remember a point where he could have seen or heard you. You thought you were being careful.

"Doyoung told him you were looking for me yesterday when you thought I was the one talking," he said. Saying the last part quietly. You hummed crossing your arms over your chest. You felt the warm fire from the fireplace on your back as you tapped your finger on your arm. You shook your head tongue poking your cheek.

“That little shit,” you said in disbelief. Your eyes found Jisung’s. “He has to be next,” you said standing up. Jisung unsure of what you were doing grew nervous. He jumped up following you to your room. “He can’t be,” he began right on your heels as you walked into your closet.

“Remember the plan,” he said trying to collect your attention. You huffed going through your clothes. You had found an outfit yanking it off the rack. You placed it on the couch removing your shirt. Jisung’s eyes widened at the sight of your bare torso breast still covered by your black bra.

“Y/n please just stick to the plan,” he begged refocusing his attention to the bigger picture. You sighed sticking your arms through the hole of the blouse. You were ignoring Jisung’s request. Instead jumping ahead of your perfectly planned plan because of a slip-up. You buttoned up every button pulling a sweater vest over your head. Your pants were next to go.

Jisung cleared his throat catching your pajama pants. You stopped letting out a frustrated huff.

“What?” You asked annoyed.

“Y/n please relax,” he said placing your pants down on the couch. “Just stick to plan okay? You just have to get to Mark and then Doyoung is after. Can you just wait?” He asked trying to reason with you.

You shook your head pulling your skirt on. “You don’t get it. If I don’t do this now my head won't stop playing the same scenario in my head. Jeno going to my father telling him what I’ve done, him making me leave school and taking away any opportunity I had at showing him I can be powerful enough,” you confessed. Jisung raised a brow stepping towards you.

“Powerful enough?” He asked not sure by what you meant. You nodded letting the black belt in your hands fall on the pink couch.

“He doesn’t think I’m capable I’m owning the company. He thinks not only am I a girl,” you say with a small shrug. You plop down on your couch Jisung sitting beside you. “But I’m even less powerful than some summer intern, less powerful than a child,” you said with a frown. You rest your head on your hand. Your elbow resting on the top of the couch.

Jisung kept his eyes on you. Listening to your every word. He understood how you felt. Being surrounded by powerful people made you feel powerless. He knew the feeling all too well.

"If Doyoung and Haechan keep talking then all of this was for nothing," You said a lump forming in your throat. Jisung's heart swelled in the last couple of months he's seen you happy, angry, even scared but never sad. You quickly wiped away a tear that formed at the corner of your eye.

"I can't let them win Jisung," you said finally looking into his eyes. You sat closer to him. Jisung moved closer to you as well resting his arm behind you. You crawled into his side face meeting his chest. There you let your tears fall in his warmth. He just held you close in your bright pink closet.

"I just can't. After what they've done to me and my friends, other girls too," you said whimpering into his chest. His arm fell rubbing your side. He didn't speak, he made no sounds, he just held you closely as you cried into his chest.

After some time you let go of Jisung pulling your legs up to the side of the couch. You cracked a smile red puffy eyes looking into Jisung's calm brown eyes. You chuckled causing him to chuckle as well. You wiped a few of your tears with the back of your hand.

"I'm such a mess," you claim with a sad smile. Your head fell eyes meeting your hands. Jisung hesitantly brought up his thumb wiping a tear that slipped past your cheek. The pads of his fingers gently hold onto your chin lifting your head. He smiled softly wiping another tear that fell.

"Y/n you may be somewhat of a mess," he said with a light chuckle. You copied his motions a small smile forming on your pink lips.

"But you are a beautiful, real, intelligent, and extraordinary mess. And I wouldn't change that or ask for a better friend," He said honestly hand holding the back of your neck. Your cheek rubbed against his palm. You felt exposed and for the first time in your life, the exposure felt new, fresh even.

It felt like he was staring right into your soul. After only a few months Jisung saw the good in you, everything you refused to see in yourself. Every ugly thing Jeno pointed out in you that sat at the pits of your stomach right now didn't matter. The pit of darkness replaced by a million butterflies by Jisung is what matters to you right now.

So you leaned in close to him. Guiding your body further to his frame. He leaned back as your lips inched closer to his. Your eyes fluttered shut lips grazing his. Jisung felt his heart skipped a beat. His breath hitched in his throat. His fingers grazed his thighs covered in denim. Your faint breath touched his lips. He wanted to kiss you, badly, it was the very thing he pictured in his mind every morning and every night but he couldn't. He couldn't kiss you, not now, not when you are hurting and need someone to comfort you.

He placed his hands on your shoulder gently pushing you away. You sat back down on the couch eyes open. You shook your head standing up from the couch. "I'm sorry," you apologized repeatedly as you walked off in your bedroom. Just behind you, the curtain was pulled open by your maid the rising sun blaring into your bedroom and shining on your skin. You turned to the window half-dressed staring towards the sun exposing your flaws for the world to see.

Jisung appeared from your closet finding you in front of the window. The maid sent a slight bow as she left. You turned to Jisung as he slowly walked over to you, reaching out his hand to touch you. You let out a breath.

"I'm ready for Mark," you said causing Jisung to let his hand fall and let out a shaky breath. You adjusted yourself giving him one last glance before you walked away.

"I'll see you later," you said as you walked into your bathroom away from Jisung letting him let himself out.

That was the last time the two of you spoke.

A few days passed. You had taken some time to yourself as well as attending to Jeno, after all, Mark was easy to find. Every Wednesday from four p.m. to six p.m. he spent his time in the Video Game club. The university had many clubs, this was one of the more popular ones. Mark and Haechan were club members, and Jisung also had a spot in the club. Today you were going to join the video game club.

While the club was popular it was very hard to get into. The leader of the club is Mark and to get into the club they had to defeat him, Haechan, and Jisung in a round of whatever game of your choice. However, were not allowed to choose who you played against. Most failed very few could get past Jisung or Mark. Haechan was the best gamer in the club, you'd have to beat him to get in.

You were already prepared for Haechan to pick you, after discovering you were not the one playing the games with him during your time together. You were looking forward to beating him, for real this time in a virtual reality.

Haechan was just an obstacle you needed to pass to get to Mark.

You bought on a fresh new outfit deciding a much more laid-back vibe would be more suitable. Wearing your low-rise blue jeans with a cropped sweater you wore your hair down finishing the outfit with a pair of sneakers. You walked down the hallway next to Wendy who followed you to the club, as your support.

You let out a breath once you reached the room turning the door handle. Everyone in the dark room turned to look at you. Gasp left their lips seeing you enter the room, computers, and large monitors illuminated their surprised faces upon seeing you enter. Haechan pushed past a few people who stood around his desk to get to you.

"What are you doing here?" he asked shocked with a mixture of anger in his tone. You scoffed, "I'm here to join the video game club," you said with a smile on your lips. Haechan sneered a scoff leaving his lips. He jerked his chin forward judging you. He looked at you up and down a cocky look on his face.

“Really? Are sure you're not just plotting. Who's next? Huh. Mark? Jisung?" he asked getting Mark's attention. Mark walked over placing a hand on Haechan's shoulder. He looked over at you apologetically.

"I'm sorry. You'll have to excuse this guy. He's rude to everyone," he defended. You went to speak but Haechan cut you off.

"I'm not being rude I'm being honest. She's just here to hook up with you so she could cross you off her list and if it's not you first it's Jisung," he said pointing behind you. Jisung walked in standing by your side confused as to what was happening. He knew you were coming today, he also assumed Haechan would give you a hard time. He just didn't think he'd call you out.

Mark touched Haechan's shoulder, gripping it this time. Haechan winced in pain smacking Mark's hand away, rubbing on his skin. He whined releasing a huff. He shrugged pointing at you again.

"What did I say? She's just some fucking Easy A," he said hand waving up and down pointing out your entire body to everyone who was listening. You huffed your face starting to feel hot. Wendy sneered walking up to Haechan and shoving him.

"Haechan," Mark called when he saw Haechan walk over to her. You stood in front of him arms crossed over your chest. Mark walked over leaning Haechan. "Dude, I think you should go," he said. Haechan brushed him off to walk away but you held your ground.

"No," you said causing everyone to look at you. Haechan stopped letting out an annoyed huff. "I want to play Overwatch," you said a smirk forming on your lips. Everyone gasped shaking their heads at your choice. Haechan is known for being the best in that game. He had even defeated one of the best players, Jungkook, a few years back.

Jisung noticed the small gleam in your eyes hiding his smile. Haechan turned back around walking towards the front of the classroom.

"Fine but you play against me," he said walking to his set up. You set your bag down on an empty desk, Wendy's placing her stuff beside yours as you followed Mark. Everyone gathered around as they set up, including Jisung. Haechan wore a cocky grin on his lips the whole time.

The pure joy he'd receive from crushing you was all he needed for him to forget you. Knowing he beat you in something, knowing he made you feel like shit and couldn't get into the club. Knowing you couldn't trick his friend. He felt proud knowing he'd destroy you.

Two bad like always you two steps ahead. Because for months Jisung had trained you. Playing games with you almost every night, and into the morning to prepare you for Haechan. While that first time you played Jisung played for you, you figured you’d learn how to play Overwatch and other games they all liked just in case of the event. Turns out you had a secret talent.

Once the game starts Haechan barely even tries while you click buttons, brows furrowed concreting on the screen. Wendy who had no clue what was happening in the game cheered you on while everyone waited for Haechan to destroy you. They weren't hoping for your downfall just against him no one stood a chance.

However, you watched from the corner of your eye as his character started to die and the anger mixed with fear and confusion formed on his face. Now it was your turn to be cocky, even if you weren't the one playing, you were happy he was losing. Haechan and his ego annoyed you more than seeing Si Cheng every Thursday in your English class.

Mark watched from the sidelines a smile on his lips. An impressed smirk on his lips as he watched you play.

The people in the room began cheering for you and it was the first time in months you heard anyone on your side. You assumed it was because you were beating Haechan. His character was dying and you felt a smirk tug against the corner of your lips. You glanced over now seeing his fingers tap harder on the keyboards trying his best to desperately stay alive.

The people surrounding you are both now excited. They watched closer shocked mixed with curious faces. Gasping when your character was easily taking his own. Some people trying to figure out when you became so good at playing games. Others felt that because you had such a hidden talent there was more to you than you let on. And a few others just cheered you on also losing to Haechan in the past and wanting to see him get destroyed.

Your tongue poked the inside of you both as you typed furiously on the character. You clicked on only a few final buttons watching as his character slowly started to die. Your tongue poked the inside of your mouth. Your feet gripped onto the button of your shoe, your body leaning forward. You were so close you could taste it. With a few more taps and clicks you watched his character die losing the game.

His eyes widened shaking his head. His mouth fell open and his brows furrowed. He held onto the monitor shaking it lightly even tapping the screen just to make sure it wasn’t true. No way he lost. And not only did he lose but he lost to you, of all people, why did he have to lose to you?

His head fell as he accepted defeat and therefore had no choice but to grant you access to the club. He sucked his teeth as he handed you, your very own controller lazily placing it in your hand almost falling to the ground. You caught it glaring at him. He stared back at you as you walked over to him. You leaned down close to his level eyes never leaving his.

"That's what happens to rats," you whispered for his ears only. His breath hitched and his eyes widened. You could hear his heart skip a beat from how close you were to him. You smirked pulling away.

"Trust me the worst has yet to come. I'm giving you one last shot. Keep your mouth shut," you warned. He eyed you breathing heavily as he grabbed his things making a straight dash to the front door.

You smiled a wicked smile as he left soon letting it fall replacing it with a much softer smile and letting the cheers from the people around you stain his chest and flood your ears.

Afterward, people returned to their games. Jisung sitting next to a few people including a girl. The girl was a little shorter with long wavy brown hair. She had brown doe eyes and flushed pink lips. She sat beside him as they played together her side bumping into his every time he beat her. He blushed when her hand touched his. She pulled his controller from him giggles echoing from her throat.

You swallowed a lump that sat in your throat. Your arms crossed over your chest as you tried to look anywhere else in the room. But it felt like every computer screen kept shining in their direction. You sucked on the inside of your cheeks trying to pry your eyes away in any way you could. You felt a pinch in your stomach when his eyes never left her frame.

You were going to look away having enough of the current display of affection that took place a couple feet away from you. Jisung hadn't even noticed you staring, he didn't even feel your eyes on him. You frowned poking the inside of your mouth with your tongue.

Why did you even care? As far as you know and remember you were using him to get close to his friends. The same boys he was still friends with, he still even joined their clubs. So why does this even bother you when it shouldn't? He was making you feel the same way you felt last night. It made you feel sick to feel this way. You wanted nothing more than to leave.

Just as you were about to walk away Mark came into your view. He stood slightly taller than you a pair of frames sitting on his face. He sent you a warm smile. When your eyes meet him, his smile falls. He rubbed the back of his neck swallowing hard. His arms fell nervously but not like how Jisung acted around you. Mark could look you in the eyes and stand close enough to you without breaking out in a sweat.

"I just wanted to start by saying I'm sorry," he said with an apologetic frown. He fiddled with his fingers but kept his eye on your eyes. "Haechan can be a bit of a dick," he began with a soft chuckle.

"And it's not an excuse," he said with a shrug. "But ever since he got dumped by some girls he's been worse," he said hoping you'd understand. You let out a breath a smirk on your lips. "It's not an excuse," you responded. "Also you don't have to apologize on his behalf. He's in the wrong, right? He should be the one to say sorry," you said. Mark nodded a small laugh leaving his lips. He shook his head understanding. He let out a disappointed sigh to himself. He knew you were right.

"I have a habit of apologizing," he said with a nervous rub of his neck.

You chuckled. "It's okay," you said. There was a small pause of silence until Mark spoke up. "Anyways I should probably go back to" "Mark," you called as he slowly backed away. A small smile on your lips.

"Yes," he said back almost instantly.

"I heard that new Spider-Man game out, did you get it?" you asked him. He widened his eyes looking into yours. "Are you kidding dude? I finished it the day I got it," he said excitedly. He had no clue you were a fan of games until this afternoon and he had no clue you enjoyed Spider-Man like he did. You pursed your lips impressed.

"Well I'm still new to the game but I was hoping you could come over and help me out. I know tonight is Jeno's party and everything but he wouldn't mind if we sat this one out," You said stepping closer to him and grabbing your purse from the table.

Mark gulped thinking about it for a moment. You were Jeno's girl meaning you were completely off limits. But this was just a video game, a Spider-Man video game. What could be less innocent than that?

Mark smiled nodding. "Okay. I'll come over," he said. "What time?" he asked. "Eight," you responded. "Here," you said handing him your phone. He put in his number handing it back to you. "I'll text you the address," you said walking past him. He sent you a small wave turning around. His smile faded when he saw Jisung watching you leave.

Jisung hadn't even noticed Mark's stares. Instead, he stood up from the girl beside him and followed you out the door. Wendy is not too far behind.

You sat in your car your head against the wheel. You shut your eyes letting out small breaths in the silence of your car. You used the silence to think. Think about what you'd like to do next, after Mark. Mark would be last on the list, the last of the group that would be easy.

Doyoung was supposed to be just as easy but now that he wishes to protect his friends he's made everything even more complicated.

You let out a sigh hearing the passenger seat open and then close. You assumed it was Wendy and when you looked over it was. The car door behind hers opened and then closed you turned seeing Jisung sitting in the back. Wendy placed a friendly hand on your thigh rubbing it gently.

He remained quiet as did Wendy. You started the car leaving the school. You sighed flashing your eyes in the mirror to Jisung. He sat back staring outside the window. You looked away chewing on the inside of your mouth. Wendy eyed the both of you with a confused look on her face.

"Okay, what is going on?" she asked the both of you. You remained quiet glancing at Jisung who was already looking at you. You huffed shaking your head.

"Nothing," you responded stopping your car a block away from the frat. Jisung recognized the area. Normally when you dropped him off and he sat beside you listening to music or talking about life this would be the saddest part of the journey. The part where he had to leave. This time it didn't feel sad, it just felt like the end.

He hesitated to speak. That morning he wanted to kiss you. He wanted to kiss you so badly that it took every muscle and working brain cell in his body to stop himself from letting his lips touch yours. His body burned down to the pits of his stomach from how close you were to him. But it wasn't right. You were hurting and he didn't have to take advantage of your pain.

He wanted you to know that. He wanted you to understand that he didn't avoid you because he disliked you but because he liked you so much it hurt it to give you every part of him knowing he wouldn't get any part of you.

"It wasn't nothing," he said frustrated his tone catching your attention. Your eyes perked but you remained facing the front of your car. You pulled your sunglasses over your head lips pursed. Wendy faced him scanning her eyes to you for a brief moment. She sighed turning back to Jisung.

"Then what is it?" she asked slightly annoyed. Jisung looked over at you. You still weren't speaking. He shook his head realizing you weren't going to talk.

"Nevermind. She is right, nothing happened," he said opening your car door and slamming it shut. The minute he stepped out you waited. Waited until he turned the corner of his street then you drove off.

"That was not nothing," Wendy said now concerned.

You sighed. "I tried to kiss him and he pushed me away. I didn't want to say anything because I wasn't ready to talk about it," you said finger tapping on the steering wheel. Your tongue poking the inside of your mouth. You shook your head. "I have so much on my plate already with Jeno and the rest of the boys opening their mouths," you paused. "I can't deal with that right now," you said now approaching Wendy's place.

"You like him don't you?" she asked. You sighed shaking your head.

"I can't," you said. She turned away not bothering you with any more questions and instead let you take her home.

You set up your living room perfectly. The PlayStation was fresh out of the box and set up, with the help of Ten. You changed clothes by switching your skirt and blouse to a more relaxed fit. Wear a velour deep purple tracksuit and soft white socks on your feet.

You hummed at the warm feeling the suit provided you. You had even lightened up your makeup, after your shower, settling for a more natural look. Your shaved legs felt soft against the fabric. You almost wanted to cancel from how comfortable to felt, but you didn't.

You looked over at your clock. Seven fifty-one. You walked over to your coffee table picking up the game. You placed the disk inside the system just after turning it on. You let the game set up turning off a few lights and lighting a few peppermint candles before you heard a knock at your door. You smiled placing the last candle down and walking to your door.

You knew today you had to be careful. Mark may have turned a blind eye to what Haechan said earlier, doesn't mean you are in the clear yet. You still had Jeno right on your tail no matter how hard you tried to shake him off. He knew you held a higher power over his head which is why he never dared to overstep the line you had drawn between you two. But now he felt a part of him had nothing to lose and everything to gain from your downfall. All you had down was buy yourself time, hopefully, enough time to make sure you took Si Cheng down, Jeno would fall right down with him.

You smiled checking the peephole and seeing Mark. You picked up your infamous perfume from beside your bag spraying a few sprits on your neck and wrist. You rubbed the liquid into your skin then you unlocked the door. You opened the door wide, wide enough for him to step inside. He greeted you with a friendly smile. You closed the door behind him.

"Can I get you anything?" you asked as Mark removed his shoes. He placed his shoes by the front door. He shook his head waving his hand. "I'm okay," he said following you to your couch. You frowned a crease in your brow. "Are you sure?" you asked again. Mark sighed with a small shake of his head, a small smile forming on his pink lips.

"Water is fine," he said. You nodded walking off to grab him a water.

When you returned he was standing in front of your window the curtain pulled back. He turned to you as you handed him the glass an amazed look on his face. "I've bet you've heard this before but you have an amazing view of the city. I mean your entire apartment is nice, Jeno was kidding," he said honestly sipping his water as he looked back at the large window. You frowned placing your glass on the coffee table.

"Jeno?" you asked opening your curtain for him to look without pulling them. He nodded with a gulp. "He's always talking…Well bragging about you," he said with a shrug. "He tells us stories," he said.

"What kind of stories?" you asked raising your brow as you stepped closer to Mark.

He smirked glancing down at his water and then out the window. He shook his head. "About how much you love him. The things you've done with him, to him," he said the last words dying on his tongue. Your brain had clicked. You stood beside him your shoulder brushing his. He slightly turned his neck to scan your faces before he turned sipping his cool water.

"What does he tell you I do to him?" you asked moving your eyes to his face. He felt your gaze but didn't turn. He gulped placing his free hand in his pocket. His nails grazed against his cloth skin nervously. He had never gotten this far with a girl.

He had never been to another girl's house that wasn't a family member. The only other times he'd been to a girl's house was when they hosted a party and the room was full of people.

He had crushes on girls in middle school and high school. He found girls attractive he just spent his time locked away in his room or at his friend's houses dressing as their favorite characters. He went to conventions and dressed as Spider-Man at every Halloween party every year. He was also part of a frat where Johnny, Jaehyun, Yuta, and Jeno were apart, and girls tended to look past him.

But you were different. You were untouchable, everyone loved and hated you. Every man, even women wanted you, desired you. He sometimes remembers what Doyoung and he did to you last year. he hopes and prays you never find out. You'd kill him for sure. You assumed now he was safe. You didn't see him as the weird geeky boy he saw himself as. You were being kind and welcoming to him and he hopes it's because you genuinely like him.

"Mark?" you called for the fifth time. He shook his head eyes blinking quickly. He turned now seeing you seated on your white couch. Blanket over your lap and controller in your hand. He cleared his throat as he walked over to you. "You okay?" you asked as he sat down beside you. He rubbed his sweaty palms on the roughness of his denim jeans. He nodded taking the controller you offered him.

"My bad," he responded.

You nodded looking away and at the screen.

"This is how you swing," he said showing you the controls. You eyed him a small gleam in your eye. He gulped seeing your pretty lashes flick at him. You picked yourself up sitting closer to him. Your perfume hitting his nose. He felt his heart skip a beat and cock twitch. You turned to him breath fanning over his neck. He hummed smelling your sweet scent.

"Show me again. I like how your fingers look when you play," you hushed softly in his ear. He stuttered, scrambling his words as he pulled back. He sat back on the couch a nervous chuckle leaving his lips. His arm fell over your couch. You pouted through your smile. You sat closer to him his arm around you. He looked at you for a second watching you through the corner of his eye.

"Let's get back to the game," he said taking the controller. You smirked turning to watch him play.

After some time you decided you'd make your move again. You were running out of time and if you wanted to make it to Doyoung before New Year's you had to pick up the pace with Mark.

It was your turn to play this time. So when you fought the bad guys or when you fell off a building little noises escaped your lips. Groans ghosting past your tongue catching Mark's attention again. He gulped his hand gripping the arm of the couch. He felt his heart skip and his eye twitch every time you made a sound.

You scouted closer pretending to be so frustrated you dropped the controller. You bent down to get it your hand landing right on his clothed cock. His hips instantly flexed into your touch.

You sat back up removing your hand as if nothing happened. You dusted off the controller handing it to him. "Your turn," you said with a dark smile on your lips. He took the controller from your hands a jumpy look in his eye. You acted as if you hadn't noticed.

He was so lost in his own mind as he played. His dick was fully hard in his pants and now painfully uncomfortable as he played. He could barely focus on what he was doing. Spider-Man had completely fallen off multiple buildings and lost battles. You cringed at the sight on the screen. Every time he fell or lost he could see it on your face. He scolded himself in his head for being so easily distracted.

"I thought you were good at this game," You teased lightly pushing his side. He scoffed, "I am," he responded. He had actually started to get better once he realized how much you were paying attention. You frowned seeing him lose again.

"Mark you keep losing," you said with a small pout. "How am I supposed to win if you keep dying?" you asked. He sighed with an apologetic look in his eyes. "I'm trying it just, I don't know. I think I'm just tired," He lied. You bit your lip thinking about his words.

"How about I help?" you offered.

"How?' he asked.

You reached forward playing the belt around his waist. His eyes widened watching your fingers tracing over the leather strap. He used his hands to push himself back choking on his breaths. He stopped you placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Y/n I…you have a boyfriend," he said concerned eyes looking into yours. You shook your head brushing him off. "He won't care," you responded. You went back your lips lining with his before he stopped you.

"Wait, wait," he said shutting his eyes for a moment the white controller falling onto his lap. The character on screen died but neither of you paid attention to the TV. He sighed brows furrowing. He swallowed hard.

You sighed turning away fiddling with the hem of your tee. He watched you with curious eyes. "I'm sorry," you began keeping your eyes away from his. He watched you closely wondering why you shut down so quickly after jumping onto him.

"It's just I'm not actually dating Jeno," you confessed. Mark's eyes widened in disbelief. "But the two of you confirmed it. Everyone saw you at the hockey game," he rambled.

"What they saw was a lie. Jeno knew people were talking poorly about me. He heard the rumors they made and since he's an old friend he decided to help me. But that's it, I swear," you said finally looking into his eyes. You turned away seeing his face hadn't changed. "I just didn't he continued making stories, rumors of our one white lie," you said with a disappointed sigh.

His heart swelled at the plead in your glossy eyes. He chewed his lip taking in your confession. The person he called his friend had lied to him.

"I'm sorry. I thought the two of you were together," he said with a small frown. He fixed his glasses clearing his throat a part of him feeling stupid for believing the lies.

"I understand if you want to go. Thank you for your help," you said your head falling apologetically. You motioned your hand to the door. But Mark sighed sitting closer to you and placing a warm hand on your arm. You smirked your eyes still aligned with your hand that rested on your thigh. He shook his head.

"I'm not upset. You lied because you had to. Jeno continued to lie when a lie was not needed," he said. You picked up your head replacing your evil smirk with a warm, friendly smile. "Thanks for understanding," you said.

"Let's get back to the game," you said taking the controller from his lap. He held your hand removing the controller from your hands. He placed it on the coffee table in front of you, next to your full glass of water and his empty glass. He turned to his side to face you a gentle smile on his lips. "What?" you asked sneakily hiding your face with your hands.

Mark chuckled shaking his head. "Nothing you just beautiful, dude," he said. You punched his shoulder he sneered. " I told you to stop calling me dude," you said hiding your smile. He chuckled head falling back then front. You moved closer to him hands reaching up to his glasses and taking them off. You placed them by the controller quickly returning.

You swung a leg over him straddling his waist. He gulped but gushed a smile on his face at the sight of you on top of him. You completely sat down on his lap. He groaned his eyes shutting for a brief moment. You smile leaning closer to him. Your perfume waved past his nostrils, invading his brain and blinding his mind. He hummed at your sweet smell. His larger hands run up and down the clothed skin of your plush thighs.

You hovered over his lips one of your hands wrapping around his neck and playing with his hair. The other holding the side of his face in your warm palm. His lips pursed a slight tint of red from how hard he bit onto his lips. He held his control, every part of his body lighting up with a thousand fireworks. You hushed over his lips. "Am I the one you wanted to kiss?" you asked seeing his glossy eyes flick. He without a thought nodded his head. "Yes," he responded quietly.

You smiled placing your lips on his. His mouth met yours the minute your plush lips touched his. He squeezed onto your waist pulling as close as he could to his body. Humming against your lips his tongue slid across your bottom lip begging for entrance. You fought him at first smirking into the kiss. He took his chance slipping his tongue past your wet lips. You rutted your hips forward feeling his clothed cock poking your velour pants.

You pulled away slowly his bottom lip caught between your teeth. You sucked on his red lip he watched you with dark eyes. You released with placing a peck on his lips. You grabbed the hem of your tee pulling it over your head. You tossed it aside on the white rug. Mark watched with wide eyes. He brushed it off quickly. He didn't want you to see how nervous he was. The truth was this was the farthest he had ever gotten.

He may have lied to his friends about his V-card a while ago.

He didn't want to ruin the moment between the two of you. So he sucked up his nerves the best way he could and pulled his black sweater over his head. His arms were on display from the tight-fitted tee that happened to have a familiar spider logo on the front in black. You chuckled and slightly pushed you away for teasing him, a bashful smile on his lips.

"It's cute," you said. Your innocent compliment sent a sweet warmth throughout his body. He felt comfortable in your eyes. He leaned up placing his lips on your passionately. He smiled into the kiss breaking it apart to lift you up. You giggled as he placed you down on the flat of your back on your couch. He smiled leaning down kissing your neck and playing with the lace straps of your purple bra.

You undid his belt swiftly removing it and throwing it to the side. You undid the button of his jeans sliding them down his waist. Your hands felt their way down his toned chest, to the v-line that formed leading you to his dick. He broke the kiss lifting his shirt off his head. Soon he kisses his way down your neck. Leaving hot wet spots from your neck to your tummy, while his hands roamed freely around your body undoing the clasp of your bra.

He kissed his way down sucking on the skin just above your pelvis. He undid the strings of your pants pulling them down along with your lacey panties. He pressed his nose against your pussy. His jeans not even halfway down his thighs he was already close to cumming just off the scent of your pussy. He glides his nose through your hot folds sticking out his thick tongue to taste you. His nose rubbed circles around your clit while his tongue slipped past your entrance.

He brought his hands down to his jeans pulling them down further. Once he wiggled out of them he brought his hand to spread your folds. The other reaches up to lay flat on your stomach. You moaned loudly head falling back on your pillow. Your eyes widened from how well he performed. You assumed he would fall just under Yangyang but he was proving the opposite.

He ate you like a starved man. A drunk man craving more. Your perfume did you not justice to your true scent. His mind is high off the sweet taste of you. You tasted fresh and felt so warm around his fingers. He could lay here for hours and just devour you. Now he understood why Yuta enjoyed doing this so much and couldn't understand why Jaehyun didn't.

You groaned shuddering under his touch. You had never felt so much pleasure. Mark wasn't eating you just to prep you. He wasn't rushing or lazy with his strokes. He was eating you like it was his sole purpose in life. To be between your plush thighs sucking you dry.

"Fuck dude you taste so fucking good," he groaned against your pussy. He shook his head flicking his tongue on your clit causing your whole body to tighten and then fall apart. You came hard against his tongue and licked and sucked up every inch.

Egar sat back watching to see how your pussy looked in the dim light. Your folds glisten and are on display. You chuckled sitting up your thighs closing and breaking his trance. He shook his head jaw hung low. You wiped your hand under his chin. "Your drooling," you teased. He touched his chin embarrassed wiping away the spit.

You chuckled leaning over and pulling out a condom from your pants pocket. You sat back opening it as Mark pumped himself. Hard and red his dick stood. Precum leaking out the top of his tip. You pulled out the condom sliding it on his cock. His breath hitched from the contact. His stuttering caused him to almost fall. He held himself watching as you laid back.

He adjusted you aligning his dick at your entrance. He let out a breath bracing himself. You held his waist as he brought himself closer his cock slipping past your hole.

He slowly thrusted until his hips stilled his head falling back a loud earthy groan leaving his lips. You widened your eyes. A minute hadn't even passed. He breathed hard chest red, rising and falling. He let out a relaxed breath. He looked down at you seeing the look on your face. His quickly changed mortified. He slowly pulled out using his hand to help you sit up.

"You didn.t…" he began. You shook your head looking at the rest of the living room then him. He cleared his throat trying to control his breath.

"I'm sorry," he began again. You waved your hand. "It's okay. It was your first time right?" you asked. He nodded his hand scratching his arm

awkwardly. You stood up finding your clothes. He did the same with the two of you dressing. You could cut the tension in the room with a sword, which would only dent the metal.

You both looked at each other as he stood at your door.

You decided to let him leave just like this. This was torture enough. He shared the same secret with Doyoung and it would be of better use then. "Hey Mark," you said as he put his shoes on. He looked up at you tying the final lace to his sneaker. "Yea?" he asked quietly.

"Can you not?" you pointed to the two of you. He nodded quickly, quicker than he came. "Trust me I won't," he said stepping out of your open door. "I also don't want Jeno to know. That means don't tell anyone," you said with a slight warning in your voice. He nodded a thin line on his lips.

"Oh and Mark," you said a small smile on your lips.

"Find out how far you can go then come over. Okay?" you said placing a kiss on his cheek. His eyes lit up. He nodded with a small smile. His cheeks were a light pink. "Okay," he said walking away and waving you goodnight. You closed your door behind you. If Jisung starts to slip you'll just have to replace him with another, who better than Mark Lee?

When Mark arrived home the house was quiet. The only sound was Jisung leaving the kitchen. Mark walked up to him after removing his shoes. "Hey Jisung," he called. Jisung stopped turning his head and saw Mark. He held back his eye roll. Mark smiled at him taking off his jacket and placing it behind a chair.

"I have a question," he said. Jisung sighed walking away from his. Mark confused followed the

younger boy. "Dude you okay?" he asked catching up to him. Jisung nodded, "I'm fine. Just tired," he said closing his shared room. Mark stopped right in front of his door. He sighed turning to walk to his room. On his journey, he heard murmurs coming from Johnny's room.

He pressed his ear against the ajar door peeking inside.

"Are you sure?" he heard Johnny ask the person in his room.

"Yea. Everything Si Cheng was a lie. She's been playing us," he heard no other than Haechan say. He rolled his eyes having enough of the young boy and his delusions. Why did everyone want to paint you as some villain? When you weren't. If you were you would have made fun of him or made him feel bad for what happened. He cringed at the memory.

He was so embarrassed. He's surprised you were down to give him another chance. However far into the future that may be.

"And who else knows?" he heard Johnny ask.

"Right now just us, Jeno and Doyoung," he said.

"I get Jeno, but how does Doyoung know?" he asked.

"He's been following her," he said. Mark's brows furrowed. Was Doyoung some sort of stalker? He shook his head quickly running to his shared room with Doyoung. Doyoung was nowhere to be found, probably still at the library. He pulled out his phone pulling up your contact.

He waited for you to pick up biting onto his nails nervously. When he heard your voice he closed his door nervously pacing.

"Calling already?" you asked. "Y/n I can't call for long but I'm letting you know that tonight I overheard Haechan tell Johnny some crazy things. Things I don't believe, I mean I hope they are not true," he rambled just above a whisper.

"Wait Mark slow down," you said dropping your act. "What happened? What is it that you have to tell me?" you asked hearing Mark huffing and puffing through your phone.

"Doyoung has been following you. I don't know how long but he's been following you. I heard Haechan talking about it," he said quickly. You felt your heart sink. You cursed hearing Mark on the other line ask what you had said. You weren't sure if you could trust him yet but this was a good start.

“Thank you for telling me," is all you said before you hung up.

You ignored his incoming call and instead scrolled through your contacts.

"Okay, Haechan I tried to be nice. I warned you," you said to yourself as you pressed on the contact you were searching for.

Mark gave up trying to call after you declined his fourth call. He figured he'd call you in the morning He placed his phone and walked towards his door. Jisung who quietly stood outside noticed his feet coming to the door. He quickly rushed back to his room closing the door.

He quickly scrambled for his phone clicking on your contact.

Your phone rang you picked it up seeing Jisung's ID. You ignored the call placing the phone back to your ear with a smile on your face.

"Yes Daddy I can send you his home address," you said proudly. You walked away shutting the light off in your living room and walking down to your bedroom.

Worried Jisung through on his sweater getting ready to meet Wendy around the block of the frat. Instead, he was met with Johnny standing outside his door. Johnny looked at him up and down Haechan standing behind him. Johnny was calm as ever, hands placed in his pockets, and stepped towards Jisung. Jisung gulped frightened by his calm state.

"Jisung where are you rushing off to?" he asked. Jisung felt his neck hairs stand. "The party," he said. "I'm late," he lied. Both the men laughed. "Try a few hours," Haechan said.

Johnny brushed him off turning from Haechan to Jisung.

"If you say you're going to the party who am I to stop you?" he said in the form of a question. Jisung chuckled nervously along with Johnny. Johnny patted his shoulder. "Take care," he said letting his hand fall turning toward Jisung walk away. Haechan did the same.

"But before you go I have a question and I'm asking if you could please be honest," he said. Jisung nodded placing his shoes on. He stood by the front door ready to go. He should have known Johnny wouldn't just let him leave.

"Has Y/n approached you at all? I mean next to Taeyong you are the quietest members of our frat. Of course Taeyong not by choice but you never speak, always alone," he said stepping closer. "Naive. It makes you the perfect victim," he said towering over the boy. Haechan watched eagerly ready to prove his point. Jisung however stood his ground shaking his head.

"Y/n doesn't know I exist. I'd be surprised if she knew my name," he said. Johnny nodded deciding to leave it at that. "Okay if you say so," he said walking away. Haechan stood eyeing Jisung but Johnny turned to him. "Haechan why don't you go to the party with Jisung? It would be good for the two of us to spend time together," he said making Jisung sigh.

"Problem?" Johnny asked. Jisung shook his head. "No," he said.

"Good," Johnny said as he walked up the stairs to his room.

Haechan smirked walking over to Jisung. "Let's go," he said wrapping an arm around him.

Your phone buzzed with a text from Wendy.

My Lovely- I'm coming over. I was bringing Jisung but he got stuck at a party with Haechan.

Read

"Daddy, can you take care of it tonight?" you asked. You smiled brightly hearing the very satisfied yes.

"His name is Lee Haechan. I'll send you the info," you said a smile on your face as you texted Wendy back.

You hung up the phone with a satisfied grin. You felt ready to take over the world.

Luckily, soon you'd have Doyoung.

You felt your phone vibrate again. You picked it up seeing Jisung's name flash across the screen. You sighed ignoring the call. A small part of your heart breaking.

To Be Continued...

I hope you enjoyed Part 6 of my 10-part series.

I can't believe only 4 parts left.

Tags: @hengicumdump @sexygrass @jakiki94 @90s-belladonna @soobiverse @ethelia @notevenheretbh1 @scarfac3 @toroufriteh @renyoungrecs @yumekowhore @toroufriteh

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drama-glob · 1 year ago

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SPOILERS FOR HELLUVA BOSS SEASON 2 EPISODE 7!!!!

Let me start off by saying F*CK YOU MAMMON!!!! >:( >:( >:(

Okay now, I LOVED THIS EPISODE because as much at it broke my heart with how much of a gut punch it was that Fizz has been putting up with Mammon for years, the fact that he got his freedom at the end with the constant support of Blitz and Ozzie, who genuinely care about him melted my heart as well. ^_^

I knew going in I was going to hate Mammon (because with how he runs his ring, I couldn't see how he could have any redeeming qualities), but he seriously was a bigger abusive d*ck and was way more blatant about than I expected. >:( Poor Fizz right off the bat with his unhealthy work ethic that he's not good enough and that his value is tied into his work, something that many of us (me included) have been guilty of. I blame Cash for being the most likely factor in why Fizz thinks that way, along with his idol worship of Mammon playing into it. >:( Also, that creep getting in Fizz's head was so messed up because we come to see how genuinely nice Fizz is and he sadly let what that guy said get into his head. ;_;

I'm so glad that Ozzie from the start is looking out for Fizz's well being and mental health, which is also really sad because he has no doubt had this conversation many times with Fizz about not needing to please Mammon and that he is good enough, only for Fizz to insist everything's fine when it's not. ;_; I also had a feeling Ozzie wouldn't be a fan of the Robo Fizzes given that he loves Fizz so much and knows what people use them for, so most likely it's part of the whole blackmail deal/Ozzie can't break out of making them so long as Fizz doesn't call it quits. ;_; I'm also happy that Ozzie clearly harbors no ill-will towards Blitz (which we already saw in "Oops," but it's nice that he knows Blitz wouldn't like the state Fizz is in and needs to cut ties with Mammon). :)

Fizz is just so talented with his craft, but the further pressure that he had actual competition from Glitz and Glam just made things so much worse, but of course Mammon don't care. >:( One of the absolute best moments though had to be the sweet little deaf kid signing to Fizz and Fizz signing back as well as sign his picture, so it was sweet and it helped Fizz's mental state temporarily. It was unfortunate that flipping creep came back and messed with Fizz once again, only adding to Fizz's panic attack that goes into overdrive once he sees Glitz and Glam perform. ;_;

My sadness only built as Fizz spiraled and tried to make himself "fine," but my man Ozzie being there as soon as he hears (from Blitz no doubt) that Fizz is not okay and him not leaving until he can get to the bottom of way Fizz is so adamant about doing this while trying to comfort him was wonderful. I legit cried, as I'm sure many of you did, when poor Fizz admits that he feels like practically nothing next to Ozzie and that without his job and the fame, he'd eventually leave Fizz despite how many years they've known each other and how much Ozzie does to remind Fizz that he loves him for who he is. ;_; ;_; ;_; It's sad too that Fizz has put up with the year of abuse because he felt he owed Mammon for leading him Ozzie, even though that's certainly not true. It really brought it in home just how much trauma Fizz has suffered and affected his mental state. I can only imagine how bad it'd be if he really didn't have Ozzie in his life. O_O The sweet, honest words from Ozzie afterward just reinforced my belief that Ozzie is the best boyfriend and their song "Crooked" was so saturated with lovey-dovey sentiment, I went awwww so many times and shows how lucky they are to have each other. ^_^<3<3<3

Fizz's "2-Minutes Notice" was absolutely incredible, (especially considering this was improv ;) ) and the fact Mammon didn't realize it was about him until the end was hilarious! XD But Fizz certainly proved how amazing he is and I'm sure Ozzie was more than happy to provide the magical backup to really stick it to Mammon. ;) ^_^ <3 It was really cool getting to see full demon Mammon and Ozzie, but it was especially amazing that Ozzie announced he loved Fizz to everyone so that he could no longer be blackmailed by Mammon and so Fizz could be free of that asshole; plus, he already seemed tired of hiding it. ^_^<3<3<3 Although Mammon will definitely come back for revenge on this sweet couple, Fizz and Ozzie get to at least have their peace for now and will face the future of their relationship being outed to all of Hell together. Also, those giant nuzzles from Ozzie are everything to me! ^_^<3<3<3<3<3

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kyouka-supremacy · 8 months ago

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I really wish there were more fics that delved into how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is different from his love for Dazai.

Tbh I just wish Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai were acknowledged more and I'm only now realizing it's so weird how nobody really ever brings them up? while it's all so evidently there. I mean, considering Akutagawa to be / having been in love with Dazai is seriously a perfectly feasible, consistent, realistic way to interpret the text without any need to bend or stretch it. It just makes a lot of sense for how his character is portrayed - his obsession with Dazai, his devotion, his desperation to be acknowledged and approved by him - and I think it's quite the important piece to understand his character. His love for Dazai is a significant aspect of Akutagawa's character, and it also explains why he's always been so vulnerable to manipulation by Dazai specifically. In a way, I think Akutagawa being so unmistakingly gay is also coherent with the way he's completely indifferent and even oblivious to Higuchi's feelings for him that lie at the light of the day– although, please note, that's a slippery slope that can degenerate in apologism for the way he abuses her, so I beg to be mindful when considering that.

Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai are in ultimate analysis extremely relevant for how Akutagawa falls and acts in the sskk picture: Atsushi being not the first person Akutagawa ever fell for, so in a way him being more aware of his own feelings than Atsushi is; Akutagawa falling for Atsushi first (and harder), because at this point he already knows he likes men, he already knows what being in love with someone feels like. But at the same time I believe that it's so interesting to explore how his feelings for Dazai are different from what he holds for Atsushi. On one side you have Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai being passive: not in the way he doesn't act after them, of course he does, but in the way he's always passively subject to Dazai's abuse, unable to stand for himself, blinded by his devotion to Dazai and unable to really see the damage he's causing him. Passive in the way that he's created this image of Dazai in his mind, perfect, god-like, static and unnatural, that struggles to evolve and adapt to reality. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi, on the other hand, is aggressive: always actively trying to hurt the other, always attempting to make the other suffer; it really speaks of someone whom, all his life, has always associated love with pain. Akutagawa hurts Atsushi because he knows love means pain, and he hurts Atsushi because he can't allow his love for him to hurt Akutagawa again as deeply and painfully as it's done in the past. It's a little sad. Ultimately, Akutagawa's love for Atsushi being the push Akutagawa needs to get over Dazai at last, something I fear he never really managed to do up to - I believe - at least chapter 53: getting over Dazai as something he gradually achieved after the soul-searching he did during his absence between chapters 53 and 84. Chapter 84 being the one where Akutagawa willingly, readily said “no” to Dazai in a way that was so sudden and surprising for anyone who knows him and that is easy to interpret as Akutagawa finally starting to free himself from the influence Dazai has had on him up to that point. That's why Akutagawa's sacrifice for Atsushi is all the more important and poignant, because him protecting (and dying for) Atsushi was never for Dazai to begin with.

I always always considered Akutagawa being gay and in love with Dazai to be like. the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer (and maybe the “you know the reason yourself don't you”, but I guess that falls under the bigger category of “Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is a character that is gay”); but now that I think about it, nobody ever brings it up really. I can guess it's probably because most people - including people who like Akutagawa and ship sskk - ultimately sympathize with Dazai, and even where acknowledging the hurt he's done to Akutagawa, don't really like to dwell on it or explore the relationship between the two of them which is... legit, indeed. Still, I think their relationship and Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai are a very important part of his character that shouldn't be overlooked when trying to accurately portray him.

And the rational part of my brain knows this can't be intentional, knows Akutagawa wasn't written to be read as gay. But there's another I'd dare say equally rational part of my brain that keeps speaking up to say the majority of his characterization - his devotion to Dazai, his (can I say? tender) sacrifice for Atsushi, his mistreatment of Higuchi - really starts to make sense only when you interpret him as gay. So, sorry???

#ryūnosuke akutagawa #osamu dazai #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #q.#14/05/23 #Edit:#*the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer together with oda/zai.#But I'm quite tired of receiving anon hate for thinking oda/zai is plainly in love in the text that I've opted for deleting that sentence.#Edit 2: Like I wouldn't even put it beyond canon to make Akutagawa canonly gay for Dazai. His attachment to him has already been–#consistently depicted as blind irrational affection. And it would fall in that specific trope of #“gay character that is alone in their gayness because being gay is something that *can* happen but is also something *others* experience–#and gay people are destined to be sad and lonely because they can only love straight people unrequitedly. Their fate is tragic and sad–#and they will probably die also.”#Like that IS a trope that used to be a thing. I can think of at least a couple of old (and not old) eastern series that use it.#Still unlikely for Akutagawa to be confirmed gay even if it's unrequitedly for Dazai. But I'd say it's still more likely than‚ say‚ making–#s/kk or sskk canon.

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tomasweetheart · 2 years ago

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i can’t believe you say eepy as well we r so alike 🤞anyway, how whould kenma, kuroo, lev, the Miya twins, and oikawa be with a boyfriend who is like popular for no reason? Like bro gets recognized at like the store while getting chips or somthing. Remember take your time and stay healthy!

VARIOUS HQ BOYS . . . with a "famous" bf !

desc: various hq boys with a boyfriend who is popular and well recognized for seemingly no reason.

includes: kenma, kuroo, lev, oikawa, atsumu & osamu x m!reader, boyfriend is used but no pronouns specified

warnings: cussing, as always.

notes: hi lovely, thank you so much for requesting! <3 sorry for the wait, i hope you like it!! also eepy sayers unite fr 🤞

★ KENMA !

i'm gonna be honest, he's probably not too happy about it?

it's not like he's upset that you're like practically famous, that's not the problem

the problem is, is that when he's out with you, people that recognize you are gonna notice him too

and honestly that's a lot of unwanted attention he doesn't want, it makes him really anxious and paranoid

i think he'd have to get used to it, but it might take awhile

★ KUROO !

oh my fucking god

mr. finds everything about it so fucking funny for no reason

he thinks it makes you more endearing in all honesty, he thinks it's cool that his boyfriend is really popular. he thinks it really speaks to your character as a person

he's not gonna tell you that though

he's gonna constantly tease you so bad, it's his love language please forgive him

"oh my god i can't believe my boyfriend is such a celebrity! can i have your autograph??"

he's relentless, and he isn't gonna stop soon so you better just get used to it

★ LEV !

oh he looks up to you so much

he idolizes the shit out of you, he thinks it's so cool that you're popular

but he already looked up to you before that anyways so really nothing changed

just a bit more admiration!

constantly telling you how cool it is that you're popular, and how much he wants to be like you

he gets used to the attention you get pretty quickly, mostly cause he's not worried if other people will notice him and he'd probably be upset if they did

because YOU are the cool one and you deserve all the praise and popularity in the world in his eyes

even if there is no reason behind it

★ OIKAWA !

#powercouple

you're popular together and he loves it!

when you tell him that there's no real reason that you're popular, he's stunned a bit

because of course you need a reason to be popular hello??

but he lets it go pretty quickly cause that just means both of your popularity status is gonna skyrocket with you two being together

not that he's just using you for popularity! he probably just likes that you two have that in common

of course he adjusts quickly to the attention you get, i mean obviously

★ ATSUMU !

i'm gonna be so honest he assumes you're well recognized because of him at first

and yeah, it is a little bit in a cocky way.

but once you tell him that there's no real reason as to why you're popular with so many people, it not only kinda kills his ego at first but confuses him so bad

like there has to be a fucking reason like??

he really just thinks you're fucking with him because you don't wanna make his ego any bigger than he already says it is

but he quickly realizes that you are in fact not joking when someone just asks you for a picture while you're at the store with him

he would probably mind the extra attention the same way he handles the attention he already gets from his fanclub

★ OSAMU !

i'd say #powercouple2 but it's debatable how much osamu actually likes his already existing popularity

he doesn't really care that you're famous for no reason

adjusts quickly, but he does get annoyed when people bother you while you're out with him

like if he took you to a nice dinner and someone came up and just started talking your ear off about how much they admire you, he'd give them the death stare.

he's fine with people liking you! he understands why they do! but they should really learn how to take a fucking hint

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frasier-crane-style · 2 months ago

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I think it's fair to say that by the finale, No Time To Die is a complete mess. To wit:

It makes no sense why MI-6 would send two OO agents (one retired) to storm an enemy compound and not the Royal Marines.

Safin has no plan.

Bond's death is confusingly overwrought and silly. Is he really mortally wounded? Is he committing suicide because of the nanobots; he's not even going to try to find a workaround? Does he have no choice but to sacrifice himself? Why is it so important that the naval bombardment happens right now? They're the British Navy--they can't just seize these cargo ships full of bioweapons that everyone's so scared of?

That one scientist declaring he hates black people and then getting killed in cold blood by a black government agent who yells "It's time to die!" is almost schizophrenically dumb--as we all know, civil rights don't apply to bad people--but, you know, pick your battles)

Here are my fixes.

Bond and Nomi aren't the only attackers, they're just sneaking in to lower the defenses from the inside so the Royal Marines can get in and take on Safin's private army. They did this all the time back in the day--including in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, which NTTD hugely references--so I see no reason why Eon can't mount a large-scale battle sequence today.

Safin's plan--as he, of course, explains to Bond--is that he blames pretty much the entire world for collaborating with and enabling Blofeld. Either by being outright under his influence, as is the case with the national leaders and wealthy who were part of Spectre--or by being even average citizens who tolerated corrupt governments and the One Percent. His plan was to demonstrate the efficiency of Hercules on Spectre and then kick off a biological arms race among world governments as everyone scrambles for either Hercules or a counter for Hercules. This will kill millions as Hercules is used, then retaliated against, ad nauseum. It's inevitable. Even now, Nomi is no doubt under orders from M to secure Hercules for further development by the British government. "The bigger picture," Bond mutters, remembering Le Chiffre telling him that he could get away with torturing and killing him.

Bond realizes Safin is right--and kills him, natch--and decides he can't allow ANYONE to take possession of Hercules. It is simply too dangerous a weapon for even his own government to have. He sets the base to self-destruct and defends the control room from the Royal Marines who are now trying to take him out to stop the countdown. Would it be too cynical to give him a 'old versus young' showdown with Nomi? Personally, I think it'd be a better final fight than Bond taking on one tiny nerd, but what do I know? At any rate, M orders the Marines to pull out at the last minute and Bond is presumed killed in the blast, which irrevocably destroys Hercules and all knowledge of how to recreate it.

M is, naturally, pissed about Bond's last act of defiance, but still toasts him and respectfully declares 'Well-played, 007.' We'll leave it ambiguous as to whether Bond actually died or if he survives to reunite with Madelaine, now having completely severed himself from MI-6.

#james bond #no time to die

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hollowed-theory-hall · 13 days ago

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you know, i’ve never really understood or given any thought as to why ootp had always been my favourite book of the franchise even as i was entering adulthood. but now, i can admit that harry’s inner turmoil and anxiety and staggering sense of hopelessness spoke to me in a way no other book had.

as a kid, i kept wondering why, just why i can understand so perfectly, why every stretch of page used for character analysis made so much sense to me, kept me focused and hungry to know more about how he dealt with everything.

but now i can clearly see that ootp is, in my opinion obviously, the most emotionally charged of the books for harry. it’s raw, it’s painful and it’s really fucking overlooked — his psychological and physical trauma, the loneliness, the anger.

which brings me to my two slightly related questions. how do you think the rest of the series would’ve played out from this moment of the timeline forward if:

sirius wouldn’t have died in the ministry raid, nor afterwards;

harry would’ve somehow found out about dumbledore’s schemes, gotten the whole picture of the man himself and just how much he has influenced his life.

OotP is indeed incredibly emotionally charged, and I love it. Just started reading it again cause I felt like it. Harry's anger in this book is *chef's kiss* I love Harry's anger with a passion and OotP is feeding me so well.

Now, for your questions:

1. If Sirius didn't die

Well, I think this potentially changes either everything or very little depends how you choose to write it. I think I wrote about this already a bit about it but I can't seem to find the post now...

Anyway, it really depends. Like, you could make it change basically nothing:

Like, the summers left for Harry might be a bit better if Sirius has cause to argue for Harry to come to live with him, if not, then Harry still stays less time at the Dursleys overall. Slughorn would still teach and so would Snape in sixth year, but Sirius would be free to help the Order more since he was exonerated by the ministry between books 5 and 6.

6th year would go down more or less the same except Sirius would tend to take Harry's suspicions about Malfoy and Snape more seriously. Whether that causes one of them to do something rash depends on the writer.

Dumbledore would still die at the end of the year though (because he's still picking up the ring) and book 7 would start more or less at the same point. Except Sirius would now be with the trio throughout the Horcrux hunt. So, there potentially won't be camping in the woods bit! Yay!

But, like, it doesn't change much. Especially because Harry didn't tell Ron and Hermione he was going to walk to his death so they wouldn't stop him, he isn't going to tell Sirius either. They might track down the Horcruxes quicker or slower, again, depending on the writer.

You can also choose to change everything and have Sirius as the DADA teacher in 6th year and have Dumbledore drag Harry to get the memory from Slughorn another way. Like, with most what-if scenarios, it's kinda up to the writer's interpretation.

2. Harry figures out everything

I don't think this changes much. I mean, in book 7 Harry has this very realisation. Hermione keeps insisting Dumbledore did care about him, but Harry doesn't really believe it. Harry never fully trusted Dumbledore and was never Dumbledore's man and in book 7 he does lose his faith in Dumbledore:

Dumbledore’s betrayal was almost nothing. Of course there had been a bigger plan; Harry had simply been too foolish to see it, he realized that now. He had never questioned that his own assumption: that Dumbledore wanted him alive. Now h saw that his life span had always been determined by how long it took to eliminate all the Horcruxes. Dumbledore had passed the job of destroying them to him, and obediently he had continued to chip away at the bonds tying not only Voldemort, but himself, to life! How neat, how elegant, not to waste any more lives, but to give the dangerous task to the boy who had already been marked for slaughter, and whose death would not me a calamity, but another blow against Voldemort. And Dumbledore had known that Harry would not duck out, that he would keep going to the end, even though it was his end, because he had taken trouble to get to know him, hadn’t he? Dumbledore knew, as Voldemort knew, that Harry would not let anyone else die for him now that he had discovered it was in his power to stop it. The images of Fred, Lupin, and Tonks lying dead in the Great Hall forced their way back into his mind’s eye, and for a moment he could hardly breathe: Death was impatient. . . .

(DH)

And Harry never would've ducked out becouse that's who he is. Depending on when he found out and under what circumstances, he might be angry, betrayed, sure. He might shout at Dumbledore like after Sirius' death in OotP, he might get depressed, he might lash out at everyone, but when the moment comes, Harry would always choose to walk to his death if he feels that is the only chance to defeat Voldemort.

Sirius, Ron, and Hermione would be the ones to argue against this more than Harry would. They would be the ones screaming at Dumbledore while Harry traps himself in his own mind, processing his own imminent demise. Just like the trio reacted in first year when Harry told Ron and Hermione Dumbledore planned for him to face Quirrelmort:

“D’you think he meant you to do it?” said Ron. “Sending you your father’s cloak and everything?” “Well, ” Hermione exploded, “if he did — I mean to say that’s terrible — you could have been killed.” “No, it isn’t,” said Harry thoughtfully. “He’s a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don’t think it was an accident he let me find out how the mirror worked. It’s almost like he thought I had the right to face Voldemort if I could….” “Yeah, Dumbledore’s off his rocker, all right,” said Ron proudly.

(PS)

Harry accepts it as something that needed to be done. That he was the person meant to face Voldemort because Voldemort is his responsibility. His burden to bear. Harry doesn't really care for his own life as much as he cares for others' lives. It's Ron and Hermione who are horrified and call Dumbledore insane on Harry's behalf. With the bigger plan leading to Harry's, it would be the same. Harry would accept it as what needs to happen and Ron and Hermione (and Sirius if he's there) are going to be the ones trying desperately to find another way.

Harry is going to be betrayed or angry, yes, but he would go along with the plan if he thinks it's what's best for everyone because it's who Harry is.

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #asks #anonymous #hollowedtheory #harry potter meta #harry james potter #hp what if #harry potter and the order of the phoenix

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quitealotofsodapop · 4 months ago

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back at it again with Soft Boiled

[So he took the scarf. Wrapped it around himself when he felt cold. Maybe even used it to swaddle his new baby girl. Yuebei dragging it around the cave as her security blanket. It being carefully washed and repaired so many times that it's barely red any more.]

that is so cute!!

I love the idea him using it t swaddle Yuebei and then her using it as her baby/security blanket as she grew. I can imagine that she chews on it to stim like Macaque does.

Wukong would probably put a spell of some kind on the scarf to preserve Macaque's scent, but he probably had to be careful when doing it otherwise he ran the risk of also preserving the stench of blood and death.

[And once the reality sets in, Macaque is sobbing at the sight of Yuebei wearing her beloved scarf as he once did.]

I can easily picture him just going and giving Wukong one of the biggest hugs ever when he realizes what he did, and the actual reason why the scarf was gone when he came back.

[Once the woman calms down, she wraps Wukong into a near-crushing hug, thanking and begging him to never ever do something so stupid again.] + [Wukong makes sure to hug DBK when he sees him next, knowing that the Bull feels the same as his wife over the matter.]

as established in other AUs where Wukong is pregnant during the ritual, PIF ain't messing with that bs. she is eternally grateful for Wukong's aid, even more so knowing the risk he put himself at. but two things can be true at once, and she is equally as enraged by his carelessness.

I can just picture the 'waiting room', consisting of the pilgrims, DBK with a baby Red Son, Ne Zha, waiting for news. then Quanyin comes out to let them know that the check-up post Yuebei starting to cry went well and they'll both be alright. but before they can even say a single word, there's suddenly muffled, very loud, non-stop yelling coming from Wukong's room. and they all just, awkwardly sitting there, in the waiting room, patiently waiting for there turns to see Wukong and Yuebei as they can just hear PIF's near incoherent screaming faintly in the background.

Wukong makes a sound like squeaky toy and his eyes bulge out of his head from how hard she squeezes him in that hug. he's pretty sure something in his spine cracks.

DBK can claim all he wants to be stoic, but when it comes to his family? you can be damn sure that the moment he goes into to see Wukong he's holding back tears from how relieved he is that both Wukong and Yuebei are okay. Wukong tries to hug him as hard as PIF just did him in hopes of providing an adequate amount of comfort for his dage.

[at least she stops being afraid of ol' Uncle Bajie when she gets a little bigger.]

now I'm just picturing a little Yuebei, maybe around the beginning of a monkeys toddling age, seeing Bajie again and hiding behind Wukong's leg. more out of shyness/uncertainty at this point, but it's still a dagger to the heart.

[He's immortal, he's indestructable - but that means nothing to him if he can't protect his baby. He knows that mint and licorice, and anti-muscosal formulas help people with poor lungs, but the science back then wasn't 100% sure...] + [All he can really do is to have a fully-stocked pharmacy inside Water-Curtain Cave, and make sure Yuebei stays away from pollen-rich flowers.] + [Wukong cries with relief in the early 20th century when Ventolin, Antihistamines, and Epinephrine become common knowledge.]

Wukong has seen time and time again how little his own immortality means in the face of the mortality of others (esp if he loses Ao Lie at some point when Yuebei was young), it makes him fear for Yuebei's safety to an almost self-harmful degree, like giving himself headaches and stomach aches from worry about losing her.

he probably makes a habit of rather obsessively stocking up on and checking the stock levels of whatever he knows helps, or whatever he thinks might help as he puts that doctorate to good use. even if the king's knowledge is perhaps a little outdated, it def helps and makes a big difference in Yuebei's early life to have a dad who is trained in medicine.

Wukong watches carefully for changes in medicine for any sign of a better solution. Yuebei gets used to her baba coming home and asking her if they could try a new remedy he heard about. the first time he used Ventolin, Antihistamines, or Epinephrine was probably during a sever asthma attack, and Wukong def got very emotional when it actually works as well as it does. [Hard not to when the bodhisattva is so doting over the tiny girl. Yuebei finds a lot of her lessons and treatments boring, but at least for a long time she had Red to hang out with]

imagine if through sitting in on a few of Guanyin's lessons she accidentally/inadvertently begins to cultivate a bit of immortality/enlightenment like the bodhisattva's pet goldfish. that would be a bit of a surprise.

considering the (literal and figurative) fire-yness of both of their personalities, Red Son and Yuebei either got along like, well, a house on fire, or downright hated each other. always getting into squabbles, super competitive, elementary rivals kinda dynamic. Red Son, depending on how old he was when he started leaning into the holier-than-thou attitude, probably was at least a little insensitive if not outright mean about Yuebei's perceived "weakness". tho to be fair, it might also have come from a place of not wanting to get attached in the event Yuebei's health ever took a nosedive considering the time period and infant mortality rate, especially for already sickly children.

this does not stop Red Son from demanding any medical personal to bring her back alive and unharmed while crying himself in the event Yuebei had a sever medical episode while at Guanyin's.

[the Monkey King is hesistant to let anyone tend to his little girl for a long time.]

I can easily imagining that when she was a newborn he was very reluctant to let anyone to close or hold her. probably even had to fight with himself just to put her down at all! everywhere he went, she was in his arms. after all, how else would he know if something happened? she's so delicate, how could he trust anyone else to be gently enough? would they know what to do if she stopped breathing?

all around, it was just safer him to keep her close and handle it should the need arise.

his friends def all still do their best to make sure he's taking care of himself through this, even they can't really get him to open up entirely.

[She likes arcades but they get very loud for her at times. MK is quick to notice when the "Monkey Princess" (as he calls her) gets overstimulated, and suggests that they check out a quieter activity. Like a play.]

MK takes her to the arcade first, and for a while its great! the spend a lot of time playing on the machines, which Yuebei is surprisingly good at given she doesn't have much else to do but play games on FFM. they have a lot of fun, Yuebei's slightly sour mood quickly turning to one of genuine joyfulness, showing MK a side of her he hasn't really seen before. MK calls it a win!

until they try out the zero gravity dance floor.

it's fine, at least at first. but its very crowded, and Yuebei's used to crowds when it comes to other smaller monkeys, but not when almost everyone is bigger than her. all the bodies means it's very hot, too. it's very bright, with lots of strobe lights, and the music is cranked up high and almost everyone is yelling. she's used to heights thanks to her baba's cloud, but she's not used to having the little to no control of a zero gravity environment. that's not even mentioning the physical labor of the dancing.

MK notices her looking overwhelmed and pulls her out quick, but I wouldn't be surprised if they have to take a minute once outside or if Yuebei has a small asthma attack from it all. they go back to the noodle shop in hopes some good noodles will cheer them up from the less then stellar end to the bonding trip.

Tang's happy to see them, they just got some free tickets to a historical shadow play! Yuebei likes some forms of theater, that sounds like its far more speed. MK will have to bring her back to the city the day of the showing.

[the human girl now aching constantly from her body being forced to move like a puppet. The two jokingly compare how one briefly hosted Fire while the other Ice.]

Yuebei, knowing her baba's medical knowledge from first hand experience, reassures Bai He that she's in good hands once Macaque and Wukong start getting their shit together. Bai He probably looks up to Yuebei for being able to handle and somewhat safely expel a power like the Samadhi Fire while not even born yet, and for being fearless enough to take LBD's skull as a trophy. I see Bai He as being quiet and a little meek in contrast, so her and Yuebei probably balance each other out nicely, the ultimate sister duo.

def see Yuebei as being the embodiment of the "she asked for no pickle" meme when it comes to Bai he.

heaven quakes at what the two might the capable of if both truly angered.

[Amnesiac!Wukong, crying too: "I'm so happy to be able to hear that. I was so scared when you tried absorbing the Samadhi Fire...] + [Pigsy and Tang are so emotional over the amnesiac!father-daughter bonding, that they are completely off-guard when the older monkey rattles off some details about the Samadhi Fire that he neglected to let the others in on.]

oh no... this implies that Wukong, when he got amnesia-ed he was at least partially brought to a time seemingly in between the ritual and when Yuebei started crying post-natal. no wonder he initially panicked when he couldn't sense the egg in or around him, it was less about the egg and more so that he couldn't sense her at all. that would be terrifying, I can only imagine his relief when he first sees "her future projection", because its the only thing currently telling him he didn't lose her before even getting to meet her properly.

cute heartfelt moment completely undercut by the confusion of Wukong's terrible communication habits XD, complete record scratch moment, unfortunately he'd only said tiredly as both he and Yuebei were two seconds away from a power nap. Wukong was normal again after he woke up.

how evil would you call me if I said I think that the peice of the Samadhi Fire that Yuebei initially tried to consume was the same piece that ends up off shooting and hitting Ao Lie after she spits it back out at top speeds?

[Macaque, chuckling: "Well, that's progress from the nose busting."]

the whole thing about them coming to understanding was great, beautiful I must say and Wukong would be emotional over them bonding so I don't have much to add here, but little side tangent. how exactly does the shadow play incident fit into the current timeline given that its now supposedly a thing that Macaque goes out of his way to help Yuebei during a sever medical episode during new years? as stubborn as she is I feel like she'd be less inclined to bust his nose after that, but I love the shadow play thing so much and am really hoping it doesn't get "ret-conned".

[The only reason Azure gets as far as he does with the Memory Scroll is that Yuebei is either A: Not on FFM at the time, or B: Got Memory Scroll'd in the confusion.] + [Otherwise, she starts kicking and punching Azure the second she clocks who he is. MK and Mei are gonna have to drag her off of him.]

imagine if she did get scrolled at about the time that Wukong did. would they stay together or would they be separated? imagine Yuebei alone in the scroll looking through memories majorly made of her beloved baba's suffering. Yuebei's wouldn't be having a great time, I'd say.

if she got scrolled, I imagine she was let out with MK and the others, Wukong still left behind. she recognizes Azure almost immediately.

I feel like Wukong uses a lot of his won stories as cautionary tales for Yuebei growing up, especially ones from his early youth/brotherhood era. she knows Azure by name, and by his face, but not for the reasons he would have hoped. she knows him because he's the one her father warned her about when he said to keep wary of the intentions of those around her, to never lose sight of yourself and your own limits for the approval of another. which means, she also knows him as the one who hurt her baba. a lot.

Azure never stood a chance.

she goes for the throat, but MK and Mei pull her away as Azure tries to explain herself, the whole time she'd interrupting calling him a liar and demanding her baba back. MK agrees with her, but Azure still denies, leading to MK having his own freak out.

both MK and Yuebei scream when the scroll gets cut in half.

much to the horror of the MKrew, she lunges for Azure when he tries to flee, getting caught up in the brotherhood's teleportation. she escapes with Red Son from the Demon Bull castle, and goes with him to warn Heaven. despite many celestials having not ever seen her or possibly even known Wukong had a kid at all, the moment anyone lays eyes on her they just know, her anger towards the brotherhood rivaled only by her own father's post-Furnace rampage (bonus point if she unlocks lazer eyes at some point during the battle, Peng swears their entire back is singed). their too afraid to tell her she can't fight, but Ne Zha does try. when the MKrew show up and get Ne Zha out they manage to get her too, her and MK's combined had tagged teamed Azure, each taking one half of Wukong's scroll.

they scold her for her carelessness, but at the end of the day are just glad she came out of it all miraculously unscathed. she's forced to sit out the next big battle, tasked with keeping count of the mountain's monkey subjects and keeping them calm as a princess would in a crisis, effectively benching her to her own displeasure. but she's not so grumpy about it when Wukong relents and let's her join in on the pre-battle training montage.

Wukong and Macaque are torn between worry, rage, and pride when they inevitably hear. both are having war flashbacks to a younger Wukong. not matter how much the coo at her strength she is mega grounded. for til college.

Prev.

sorry if this took a bit. I get distracted easily.

[I love the idea him using it t swaddle Yuebei and then her using it as her baby/security blanket as she grew. I can imagine that she chews on it to stim like Macaque does.] + [I can easily picture him just going and giving Wukong one of the biggest hugs ever when he realizes what he did, and the actual reason why the scarf was gone when he came back.]

Macaque sees Yuebei with his old scarf and at first thinks "Huh. Weird. Eh. Maybe she just likes red." only to see her chew on it/stim with it like he did and is like "Whoops! So thats where it went!"

Macaque just rolls up purring to Wukong the next time they meet, gesturing to the scarf.

Wukong is a little embarrassed, but admits that "I wanted to keep something of yours for her. It was the only thing I had on hand when she was born so..." and that just leads to an even louder-purring shadow monkey.

And a Yuebei who tries phasing the scarf out of her outfit line-up out of disgust, but fails cus its' her fave item ever.

[as established in other AUs where Wukong is pregnant during the ritual, PIF ain't messing with that bs. she is eternally grateful for Wukong's aid, even more so knowing the risk he put himself at. but two things can be true at once, and she is equally as enraged by his carelessness.] + [they all just, awkwardly sitting there, in the waiting room, patiently waiting for there turns to see Wukong and Yuebei as they can just hear PIF's near incoherent screaming faintly in the background.]

There's Five Major elements in their world, and PIF's anger is the secret sixth one.

Wukong may have saved her baby from a terrible death from internal self-immolation and life-long chronic pain, but he is SO IN TROUBLE for putting himself and his unborn child on the line! PIF nor DBK would forgive themselves if Wukong and/or his baby had perished because of the ritual!

Meanwhile little Yuebei is fast asleep with her scarf-blanket covering her ears while all this is going down.

Also the imagery of PIF's rant being topped off with a hug strong enough to make Wukong squeak like a dog you is so adorable and hilarious. I love it <3 And Wukong doing the same to DBK, who's trying his best no to cry out of worry/relief.

[now I'm just picturing a little Yuebei, maybe around the beginning of a monkeys toddling age, seeing Bajie again and hiding behind Wukong's leg. more out of shyness/uncertainty at this point, but it's still a dagger to the heart.]

Aww, Bajie gets a little emotional when his littlest big brother's baby is scared of him. He's been trying not to be so scary since he's become a monk, but it looks like little kids still see a monster when they look at him. :(

One day though, little Yuebei comes running to "Uncle Piggy", scared of "monster!" chasing her (in reality a toad that startled her). The baby monkey clings to her uncle, clearly less afraid of him then what she saw.

Bajie puts on a big performance of "battling" the toad, brandishing his weapon and declaring the Monkey Princess under his protection. The toad hops away unimpressed. Bajie smiles when Yuebei looks up at him in wonder.

Bajie: "Don't worry Princess. Your Uncle Piggy is scarier than anything in this world. Nothing will ever hurt you when I'm around." Yuebei: (*shyly hugs her Uncle around the neck*) Bajie: (*trying not to cry from the sweetness*)

Bajie seriously considered asking his wife for kids after that interaction.

[Wukong watches carefully for changes in medicine for any sign of a better solution. Yuebei gets used to her baba coming home and asking her if they could try a new remedy he heard about. the first time he used Ventolin, Antihistamines, or Epinephrine was probably during a sever asthma attack, and Wukong def got very emotional when it actually works as well as it does.]

Wukong I feel also donates a fair amount of his wealth to medical research and development - cus while in case what's found can't help Yuebei, it can help others. At least a few hospitals throughout China were built by his generous (and anonymous) donations.

I can just imagine Yuebei overexerting herself one day and having a bad asthma attack. Wukong panics and tries an aerosol he learned might help and... Yuebei recovers in record time! Wukong is overjoyed!

Yuebei is excited too - the medicine is small and portable enough that she doesn't need her baba's pharmacy-sized supplies all the time to bounce back from an attack. And this new medicine can even stop them as they're happening! She def gets a lot more adventurous after Ventolin and whatnot are discovered - and Wukong is happy to let her explore (with supervision)!

[imagine if through sitting in on a few of Guanyin's lessons she accidentally/inadvertently begins to cultivate a bit of immortality/enlightenment like the bodhisattva's pet goldfish. that would be a bit of a surprise.]

Hah! Yuebei accidentally cultivates immortality/dao almost like her baba did when he became Subodhi's student!

Wukong wonders if his immortalities rub off onto his kids, and wonders seriously if Yuebei would like a semester with Subodhi to cultivate her dao.

But luckily dear Auntie Guanyin helps out with that part. A few centuries of meditating and learning from the bodhisattva helped Yuebei to gain exp in her own way.

[Red Son and Yuebei either got along like, well, a house on fire, or downright hated each other. always getting into squabbles, super competitive, elementary rivals kinda dynamic.]

Cousins behaviour XD

Red def started to get on Yuebei's nerves when his more pompous side started to develop. And Red didn't want the daughter of his dad's greatest enemy to get involved in his plan for world domination - so it was easier to Red to act a jerk and cut contact than dealing with the possibility of fighting his little cousin down the line.

[I can easily imagining that when she was a newborn he was very reluctant to let anyone to close or hold her. probably even had to fight with himself just to put her down at all!]

baby monkeys do be clinging to their mom almost 24/7, but after a while Wukong starts to wonder if he's wearing his baby by this point. He eventually gets so tired that the Stalwarts manage to guide him into his nest and set up Yuebei's own mini-nest next to him. He awoke only briefly panicked, as he immediately could hear and see his sleepy little moonlight beside him.

I feel like the first person to be allowed the privilege to hold the baby is Ao Lie, who's probably still recovering himself from the fire. He wanted to see the little princess up close, and Wukong feared that he may miss the chance if he hesistated.

Ao Lie adored Yuebei from the moment he met her. He never blamed her for what happened. She was worth it.

[Yuebei's slightly sour mood quickly turning to one of genuine joyfulness, showing MK a side of her he hasn't really seen before. MK calls it a win! until they try out the zero gravity dance floor.] + [MK notices her looking overwhelmed and pulls her out quick,]

MK is a good older-brother-figure. He really wants Yuebei to like him, and sometimes can't read the room that she doesn't want to. But even he can recognise someone who's overwhelmed.

Yuebei has a lot of fun with the game machines, and I can see her loving those racing games with the moving seats.

But the anti-gravity dancefloor was just a little too much.

I feel like MK brought Mei along with him too as "friend backup", and while she gets lost in the music, Mei is clued in that Yuebei isn't having fun anymore.

Emergency retreat!

Yuebei is frustrated and embarassed by her reaction, but MK and Mei assure her that they've experienced moments like that. Sometimes you get overstimulated and need to tap out, both mentally and physically. Yuebei feels only a little better at that...

Thanfully here comes dear Mr Tang, checking in on the kiddos on their day out (secretly a favor for a worried Wukong), in case they wanted to cap off the day with a snack or a slow-paceda activity.

And hey! Look at these free tickets to a traditional shadowplay he has! Maybe little Yuebeu might want to come see? :3 It'd be a lot more chilled out and slow paced than the arcades or night market.

[Tang's happy to see them, they just got some free tickets to a historical shadow play! Yuebei likes some forms of theater, that sounds like its far more speed. MK will have to bring her back to the city the day of the showing.] + [how exactly does the shadow play incident fit into the current timeline given that its now supposedly a thing that Macaque goes out of his way to help Yuebei during a sever medical episode during new years? as stubborn as she is I feel like she'd be less inclined to bust his nose after that, but I love the shadow play thing so much and am really hoping it doesn't get "ret-conned".]

Macaque still does the Shadow Play, mostly out of a need to "set the record straight" (in his mind) to Yuebei and MK about what happened between him and Wukong.

Yuebei calls BS once the story ends - pointing out that Macaque had abanonded her Baba at the mountain and left him all alone for centuries. Whether out of pride or cowardice, Macaque had been the one to cast "The Hero" into darkness.

The pair of monkeys gnash at eachother throughout the second half of the episode while MK is having a crisis over if people will come to abandon him if they don't like the Him that develops from his new responsibilities.

MK ultimately puts his foot down on Macaque's attempt at a "teaching moment" with the shadow play/lantern. All this tells him is that Macaque never got over Wukong after all that time, even after being the one to break things off.

Macaque is stunned enough that he wordlessly smashes the Lantern, releasing the captured gang, and is about to walk away into his own shadow when...

Yuebei: (*arm reaches in and grabs him*) "Oh no you don't! You are going to say sorry to MK and baba's friends for this! What sort of Warrior runs and hides at being proven wrong!?" Macaque: (*speechless as he sees the sparks of Wukong's righteousness in Yuebei's eyes. And the fact that the little girl is no-selling his shadow magic*) Macaque: "Ok... fine. But only because you asked me to."

A few awkward apologies are given out before Macaque is allowed leave.

MK realises something after the incident when the fam are all at Pigsy's eating dinner. Mei and Tang are relaying the gist of the shadowplay to Wukong (who's very much rolling his eyes at Macaque's choice of story).

MK: "Hey, why did you do that?" Yuebei: "Do what?" MK: "Make Macaque apologise to me. Why did you?" Yuebei, hiding face in scarf: "Cus he was being a jerk! He hid your family away to try and prove a point. A stupid point! He tried saying that you'd forgotten your friends when you were scared that they left you!" MK, proud smile: "Yeah, he did. But you showed him huh?" Yuebei, begruding: "Yeah, I did. And that look on his face when you said he never got over baba was funny too." MK and Yuebei: (*share a sibling-esque laugh and nudge eachother in the sides*)

Wukong smiles at seeing his student and daughter finally start to get along. Even if some of it was stoked by mutual annoyance at Macaque. XD

[def see Yuebei as being the embodiment of the "she asked for no pickle" meme when it comes to Bai he.]

The power of two little girls supporting each other makes Heaven and Hell quake with fear.

Bai He is certainly more of a "tea party and dolls"-kind of girl, while Yuebei is more athletic and tomboyish. They do humor their respective interests - Yuebei does like just being a little girl sometimes, and Bai He has found some yoga methods helpful for physio therapy. They know when the other likes to do something their own speed.

They're duo of fire and ice. Balanced and powerful!

[oh no... this implies that Wukong, when he got amnesia-ed he was at least partially brought to a time seemingly in between the ritual and when Yuebei started crying post-natal. no wonder he initially panicked when he couldn't sense the egg in or around him, it was less about the egg and more so that he couldn't sense her at all.]

Wukong is *panicking* when he can't feel or see his baby. I feel like he went into a minor medical coma after delivering Yuebei after the ritual, and he's convinced for a few solid hours that's the case.

He can't feel his baby, but he sees a "projection/time traveller" of her as a teenager. Thats stuff you see during a near-death experience.

Wukong is calm enough around his daughter's older form, but clearly wants to ask a million questions. He couldn't hear Yuebei crying before he passed out - so it's a major relief to him to see her alive in some form, even if he might not be soon.

He does manage to ask if she's in pain or hurting. Hosting a piece of the Samadhi fire like that has to hurt.

Yuebei lies a little and says she isn't, she's just a little sickly from being born early.

Amnesiac!Wukong sighes with relief, pulling her into another hug. He wants to know his baby's heartbeat before he wakes up from this.

[how evil would you call me if I said I think that the peice of the Samadhi Fire that Yuebei initially tried to consume was the same piece that ends up off shooting and hitting Ao Lie after she spits it back out at top speeds?]

Thats evil and I love it. It's canon now. >:3

that would be a huge regret Wukong would carry on hos own, refusing to let Yuebei know about it for her own mental well-being. Unless she happened to peak in at the memory of the ritual during Memory Scroll shenanigans? :3

[cute heartfelt moment completely undercut by the confusion of Wukong's terrible communication habits XD]

Yuebei just looks dumbfounded when Wukong mentions "the four Rings" offhandedly. She knew the lore, and that Uncle Ao Lie got hurt, but a secret Fourth ring?? Baba tf!?

As she silently panics, Wukong decides it's time for him to "wake up" and goes into another brief astral meditation that reboots him back to normal.

[imagine if she did get scrolled at about the time that Wukong did. would they stay together or would they be separated? imagine Yuebei alone in the scroll looking through memories majorly made of her beloved baba's suffering. Yuebei's wouldn't be having a great time, I'd say. if she got scrolled, I imagine she was let out with MK and the others, Wukong still left behind. she recognizes Azure almost immediately.] + [Azure never stood a chance.]

I feel like Yuebei in the Memory Scroll is herself when she was a lot younger/sicker, and had to stay on Fragrant Mountain for her health. Not much is required for her to go back to normal though, MK mentions "Cousin Red" being off the island and possibly in danger, and the sickly little girl is up like a firecracker ready to stab somebody!

After being released from the Scroll at Camel Ridge, Yuebei takes one look at Azure and declares: "Thats the bitch!" and rushes at him teeth bared.

In the chaos of both her and MK going for Azure's throat, Wukong's scroll is cut in half. Azure blames the kids as he does in canon.

[despite many celestials having not ever seen her or possibly even known Wukong had a kid at all, the moment anyone lays eyes on her they just know, her anger towards the brotherhood rivaled only by her own father's post-Furnace rampage]

Yuebei and her cousin Red flex their synconised fighting skills in Heaven. The celestials are having flashbacks to when Wukong and DBK used to storm and pacify Heaven in their wake.

Their very existances are likely secrets amonst the immortals, so the appearance of Sun Wukong's daughter, and the son of the Demon Bull King (+one of their princessess) coming to defend Heaven against assault?! It's nealry enough to make a grown solider faint.

[her and MK's combined had tagged teamed Azure, each taking one half of Wukong's scroll]

MONKEY KIDS TEAM UP!

About four seasons of trust-building leads to the biggest grift of their lives! Getting their mentor/dad back from the smelly lion! Yuebei manages to flex a little of shadow magic she learned from Macaque - making her shadow papa mega proud and the Brotherhood further convinced that she's a shadowpeach baby.

Yuebei and Macaque end up bonding a little when they travel through the Memory Scroll together with MK. Yuebei now truly sees how in-love her Baba and Macaque were, and why Wukong raised his baby to know his mate's songs and stories (something Macaque hadn't even known) and scent. Macaque also has the revelation that Wukong was geniunely hurting after their break-up, and vows to make it up to him once this is all resolved.

[they scold her for her carelessness, but at the end of the day are just glad she came out of it all miraculously unscathed. she's forced to sit out the next big battle, tasked with keeping count of the mountain's monkey subjects and keeping them calm as a princess would in a crisis, effectively benching her to her own displeasure. but she's not so grumpy about it when Wukong relents and let's her join in on the pre-battle training montage. Wukong and Macaque are torn between worry, rage, and pride when they inevitably hear. both are having war flashbacks to a younger Wukong. not matter how much the coo at her strength she is mega grounded. for til college.]

Baby girl gets to flex her fighiting and her governing abilities! Wukong appeals to Yuebei's jealousy of not being his fighting successor by pointing out something important about his job.

Wukong: "You may not be the one holding my Staff, moonlight. But our people need their future Queen. You are going to inherit our kingdom one day after all!" Yuebei, eyes glittering excitedly: "Queen?"

Cus while MK is Sun Wukong's succesor in fighitng style and heroism, Yuebei is his heir as Monkey King! And thats something she can gloat over!

She goes full Warrior Queen-mode gathering the subjects and bringing them to safety. Macaque and Wukong watch on fondly.

Once Azure is defeated and the Jade Emperor's power secured, Yuebei does get a little grounded for recklessness. But her two monkey dads are overwhemling proud of her for stepping up in the moment.

She's their little Moon Comet Star after all <3

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