#Hux would act annoyed but then...

[beezusvreeland]

now that we don't talk - chapter 6

summary: After being rejected by Poe, the two of you are assigned a mission together. And a lot can happen during a mission.

ship: poe dameron x f!reader

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Armitage Hux was talking to a group of First Order officials. As you and Poe got closer to them, it became clear that Hux was already a few drinks in. He had another in his hand, his red hair was messy and the first few buttons of his uniform’s jacket were open. 

“What exactly is our game plan here?”, Poe asked in your ear, his face so close to your neck, he could see that his question made the almost invisible hairs on the back of your head rise. A wave of pride overcame him. 

During the few seconds between his question and your answer, Poe was consumed by his thoughts, trying to establish a timeline in his mind. He couldn’t help but wonder: had it always been like that? Was that how your body had been reacting to him the whole time? And if it had, why wasn’t he paying attention? 

He was trying his best, channeling all the years of training and experience to focus on the task at hand. Otherwise, Poe would quickly succumb to the truth: the feeling, for him, might be new, but all he could see was you. 

You, however, seemed as focused as ever as you strolled confidently through the crowd. The dark green of your dress made you shine even more.

“Stay here and let me do my thing”, you whispered, barely looking at Poe. 

“But…”

“Just let me. And if you see me going anywhere, follow me, but be discreet.”

This bossy version of you was extremely annoying to Poe, who was used to being the leader, even if it was you commanding, there was still a part of him that wanted to rebel. This version of you also turned him on immensely, the proximity to you was killing him.

You had a job to do, Poe told himself. Focus on the mission. Now he had to be very alert, his priority was protecting you. It should be getting the notebook, sure, that was important, just not as your safety.

“Poe?”, you whispered back, taking him out of his day dreaming. 

“Fine. Go”, he didn’t mean to say it like that, annoyed and impatient. But before he could apologize, you were gone. Gone in Hux’s direction. Poe had a bad feeling about this.

He watched as you slowly approached Hux. You walk behind him and put a hand on his right arm, which made the man finally notice you. His eyes went wide, looking at you from head to toe. Hux started talking to you, but to Poe’s fury, he wasn’t looking at your face, just your chest. Hux’s face was getting redder than his own hair. In part because of all the drinking, but the other…Were you adjusting your dress so your chest would be more prominent? You got closer to him, saying something in his ear. 

And that’s when Poe finally understood. He was so stupid, it was so obvious that this was going to happen. You were seducing Hux to get the notebook from him. That was a terrible plan, he never thought you would be the type of agent to do it. 

Poe was seething, his look intense enough to burn through Armitage Hux’s body. He just wanted to get you out of there and go back home, notebook be damned. Except, you were obviously not letting that happen. You laughed at something Hux said, the sound was very different from the one Poe knew — and missed dearly. The redhead’s eyes widen more as you say something else in his ear. 

And then Poe sees green in movement. He has no idea where you are going, as much as it pained him, he decided to trust you and follow your lead. Hux follows you after a few seconds, walking towards the stairs. Poe goes after him, holding his blaster under his coat, close enough to act if it came down to it, but far enough not to be noticed so soon.

After two flights of stairs, you enter a corridor, Hux right after you, stumbling and almost falling on the carpet. Though downstairs looked like a creepy nightmare, the other parts of the house were very nice. It was colorful, like its owners, but not in an overwhelming way. Poe had to give it to Jib and Boq: the place must be really cozy when it’s not covered in First Order propaganda. 

Looking ahead, Poe sees you stopping by a droid waiter and getting two glasses. Were you planning on getting Hux even drunker than he already was? Poe could feel his stomach turning, he shouldn’t have let you do your plan. Even though Hux seemed kind of an idiot, he could still be dangerous. The more intoxicated he got…

Hux caught up with you and grabbed your arm, pushing you behind the long crimson curtain that covered one of the floor’s many majestic windows and went in after you. Once he was out of sight, Poe walked as fast as he could — running would definitely blow their cover — and squatted in front of the curtain, getting closer to hear what was happening. 

It started with Hux saying your full name.

Poe took his blaster out, by instinct but also knowing there was no one else around in that corridor. Years of war and espionage had taught him to recognize movement through the sounds around him whenever his sight was compromised. 

The same ability let him know, by the sound of your heels, that Hux was getting closer to you. It sounded like you were stepping back from him.

“I never thought I’d ever see you again”, Hux said. 

You answer Hux with a soft laugh, using a different type of voice than normal. It was…seductive. 

Poe held his blaster tighter. 

“Indeed it’s been a long time since we last saw each other”, you said. “I know that we weren’t the closest back then, but I hear you’re doing great things for our galaxy.”

“Oh, yes, I’m one of the top officers of the First Order.”

That was a lie. He had a privileged position, yes, but he was just a pawn in Kylo Ren’s game. Absolutely disposable. 

“Well, I’ll drink to that”, you give him one of the glasses. “From old acquaintances to good…friends. I hope.”

Hux laughed nervously and then drank the liquid. 

“Look at you…what a beautiful woman you’ve become.”

“Thank you. I certainly am not that awkward kid anymore”, you stepped closer to Hux.

And got closer to you. 

“Oh, you’ve always been a sight to behold. But I must say you’re even more beautiful now that you stopped worshiping those disgusting rebels from the Resistance.”

Poe was about to either vomit or shoot Hux. He hated everything that was coming from his mouth. From both of your mouths. 

“Oh, yes, what a silly girl I was”, your voice got lower, as if you were almost whispering. 

Hux’s breathing became erratic and it didn’t seem to be just from his nervousness. 

“But now I’m a woman…”

The curtain moved a bit, someone’s foot almost hitting Poe. His ears picked up the sound of…kissing. Trying to stop his hands from shaking, he checked his blaster — he was good to go. 

The agitation inside the curtain didn’t stop. Desperate, Poe got up and went to the side where Hux was. He was about to tear the curtain apart when it all became silent. What had that idiot done to you? Poe pushes the curtain and walks in with his blaster pointed to where Hux was supposed to be. 

To Poe’s horror, Hux was all over you. He moved quickly to take him away from you, you said: “He’s passed out. I’m okay. Let’s sit him next to the wall”. 

Poe did so, trying to hold his anger from everything that had just happened. 

“Was that all from the drinking?”, Poe asked, breathing loudly.

“Yes…The sedative on his last drink might’ve helped, though.”

Poe’s eyes widened. 

“What do you mean…?”

“Oh, shush. It’s a little something to put him to sleep, he’s not gonna die or anything.”

You crouched near Hux, opening his suit coat, searching for internal pockets. After a few tries, you smiled at Poe.

“Jackpot.”

You take the thing that was holding your hair out, letting it down. The accessory was actually a small knife. Poe didn’t quite know why, but he found that extremely hot. He also had never seen you with your hair down. He hated Armitage Hux even more now than he ever did, which was saying a lot, but had to agree with the man on one thing: you were incredibly beautiful. 

Taking the knife in your hand, you got closer to Hux’s right side and opened more of his coat. You use the knife to rip out the seams of what looked like a fake pocket. Inside it was that damn notebook. That thing better be worth it, Poe had never been so nervous and worried his whole life. 

You got up and opened Poe’s coat like it was nothing and put the notebook inside one of his pockets. He felt like he could barely breathe. 

“Seems like some guests are having too much fun…”, a voice said in the corridor. You and Poe looked at each other scared. You couldn’t get caught, you had just retrieved the notebook, after going through so much trouble. 

“I don’t care what they’re doing, as long as they don’t ruin my curtain or my rug.”

Poe puts one of his fingers in front of his lips, asking you to stay quiet. He got in front of you and pointed the blaster in the direction of the voices. 

“Your curtain, huh? We shall see.”

The curtain is pushed and if it had been a millisecond before, Poe would’ve taken the shot. Jib and Boq’s shocked faces were the only thing that held him back. The hosts were speechless, seconds lasted hours. You took a turn around you, and Poe could see your expression changing as you realized how bad that scene looked.

“He’s not dead”, it’s the only thing you had to offer.

Boq stepped in, which allowed him to get a closer look to the stranger on the floor. He sighed, putting his hands on his hips.

“I wouldn��t blame you if he was”, Boq said, calmly. “This idiot has been the pointiest and nastied rock inside our expensive shoes.”

Poe looked at you and saw you were staring back at him. He almost unnoticeably pointed his head in the direction of the blaster. You answered with a curt nod. Poe then took his blaster down and put it back into his holster. 

Jib came closer and stood next to his partner. 

“So…resistance, huh?”, he said. 

“Yes”, Poe answered shortly. “Is that a problem?”

“Buddy, we don’t have any problems if it helps us not being forced to turn our sanctuary into a First Order lair.”

“Thank you so much, Jib. Hopefully we get to help you and more people across the galaxy”, you said, a bit more relaxed. 

Jib’s eyes sparkle. 

“Ah, you’re a goddamn delight”, he said and turned to Poe. “You’re a very lucky guy.”

“I know.”

On his periphery, Poe could sense your surprise. You cleared your throat.

“Can you help us out of here? Without causing more of a scene?”

Jib and Boq looked at each other and then back at you, grinning. 

“Absolutely.”

Poe only understood Jib and Boq’s excitement when they opened a secret passage in their room. 

“If someone wants to take our lives, they’ll have to work for it”, Boq explained, seeing the confused looks of you two. 

The door, like the rest of the wall, was made of a beautiful type of light wood. It was glistening. Boq started talking about the planet where he and Jib bought the wood, but the latter interrupted. 

“Focus on the task at hand, honey.”

The door led to a small room with only a glass table in the center. On top of it, there was a flower arrangement. The room’s other door, though, took you to a flight of stairs. 

“You’ll end up inside our garage. It should make your walk to your ship shorter and safer”, said Jib.

“Once again, thank you for helping us. Hopefully, you’ll have a future lacking the First Order”, said Poe, in his “I’m on a mission and mean business” voice. 

“Yes, we’re very grateful. I hope you can get these tacky people out of your lives as soon as possible.”

They laughed.

“Delightful”, said Jib. “Now go before the devil wakes up!”

And so, you and Poe went to the stairs.

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<< chapter 5

all chapters

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Dear readers,

It took me long enough, but here we are with a new chapter. Fun fact: the curtain scene was what moved me to write this fic. I had the idea an @d it wouldn't leave me until I wrote it. So here it is.

Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know what you think in the comments.

💌 Read my miguel o'hara x reader fic, 'dear reader'

💌 Read my miguel o'hara/reader high school fic, 'a very good idea'

💌Read my santiago garcia fic, 'santi's journal'

💌 I'm on ao3!

Take care!

Love, The writer

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tags 💖

@littleshadow17 @multifandomsw @steven-grants-world

@lizispunkk @torntaltos @nervousmumbling

@arysbruv @hardbeingcasual @adriiibell

[hux-and-gay]

Kylux Short Shorts Fest 2024: Day 4: Not You

Never Love You

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Pls reblog I don’t have A03 yet.

Part 1 of 2

Warning: Sexual references, angst, breakup, not a happy ending

Kylo grabbed his cowl preparing for his departure. His boots sounded heavy against the transpresteel, like he was putting extra weight on every step. Something had him tense but he wasn’t sure what. The door slid open and he jerked his head up, a bit too violently, but the tightness in his shoulders eased when he saw the familiar face of General Hux. 

“Armitage,” He said walking towards him and out stretching an arm to caress his chin. “Come to say goodbye~” He added coyly. But the man didn’t swoon as he normally did, In fact Ren realized he hadn’t in a while. They had both been so busy they barely had time for one another, part of it was his fault he knew, but they’d spent time apart before and there had never been much of an issue.

“So you’re doing this again?” Hux commented dryly, his expression remained empty.

“What? Flirting with my handsome boyfriend?” He asked smirking, But Hux only glared at him.

“You’re more stupid than I thought.”

“Oh stop being like that,” Kylo ran his hand through Hux’s fiery locks pulling them loose so they fell in front of his face. Hux always loved that, at least he used to. This time Hux yanked his head away, brushing his hair out of his face. Kylo persisted, pressing his chest against the shorter man, reaching his arms around him and gently stroking his back, slipping Hux’s jacket off his shoulders. He could feel the tension in his body. Hux wouldn’t even look him in the eye. “Babe, relax. Whatever it is that's bothering you, I’ll make it better.”

“Oh I doubt it, it’s had several years to get better and it never has.” He scoffed crossing his arms, ignoring Kylo’s advances.

“Why do I feel like you're messing with me… Love, you can tell me, I know just how to make you feel better.” Kylo said as he palmed Hux’s ass gently, his large hand sliding perfectly into place. Hux didn’t flinch, instead, he scowled. “Hux you’re doing this on purpose.”

“Oh forgive me for not swooning,” He sneered. “Sex isn’t the fix to everything you know.”

“But it can help~” Kylo insisted a sultry smile slipping onto his face as he gripped him harder, soliciting a sharp gasp from the man

“Ha! You're always the same, think with your dick instead of your head.” Hux shook his head and tried to pull away. 

“Yeah good luck acting like you’re any different,”Kylo huffed. He was starting to get annoyed now.

“Oh so mature. You know, unlike you I can show restraint.” He bit out angrily.

“Oh I know, You like being restrained~” Kylo said dragging his hand lazily across the man’s chest wanting too greedily rip away his uniform even though they hardly had the time.

“Stars, How bad can you be at reading a room? Hmm, let's see how deep you dig this hole of yours.” Hux glared up at him with disapproval, the sharpness in his voice could cut glass. Kylo let go and stepped back feeling guilty.

“Armitage, what's going on? This isn’t you. Even when we were busy before we always made time for each other, and when we were mad, we’d fuck and things would be fine. Now you talk to me so little I feel like you’re avoiding me, and you stopped coming to my quarters to sleep. There’s something troubling you, but I promised I wouldn’t look into your head, so please, please tell me.” He wanted to reach out and grab him, shake him, but he felt it would not be appropriate to touch him again.

“Yes you care now because I’m not giving you attention, Is that it? If you must know I did come to bid you farewell. You are leaving aren’t you?”

Kylo blinked. “Y-Yeah I am. Sorry I was overreacting wasn’t I?” He sighed with relief maybe Hux wasn’t mad at him after all, he had just been focusing on work, and that was it.

“Oh yes, I’m not mad at the fact that you're abandoning your duties to hunt down useless relics, Not at all.” He spoke, his tone acidic, his stare even more so. Kylo felt his anger beginning to surface, he and Hux had been over this a thousand times, talking in circles, they had just agreed they would never find common ground on the subject. the fact that Hux would bring it up?

“It’s not useless Hux! I wouldn’t leave if it weren’t important!” His anger flared, he could feel his hands balling into fists. He knew he could not hold back much longer and he knew Hux knew that too.

“We’re moments from victory! What’s more important than being here in our time of triumph?” Hux shook his head adjusting his jacket to rest on his shoulders again.

“What I’m doing will lead to our victory! You just can’t see it yet!” Kylo paced angrily around the room opening and closing his hands trying to calm himself.

“What I see is a hypocrite!” Hux growled. 

“You’re being ridiculous!”

“Am I?” He questioned walking up to Kylo. “The man who always preaches about burying the past is chasing treasures from a bygone era because some nightmares told him to. You can’t kill your past and chase Vader’s legacy, they’re opposite goals.”

“They’re not nightmares!” He howled. “They’re visions! Voices! The Force is calling me, you wouldn’t understand.” He shook his head gritting his teeth.

“Don’t lecture me on the force Ren, If I don’t understand then make me. Tell me how I should see it.” 

“You should see it as me helping the order. What I’m doing will ensure that we can come out on top, crush the resistance, like you always say.” He placed his hand on Hux’s shoulder trying to show he didn’t want to yell anymore. He didn’t want to keep going like this.

“Like I always say? Helping the order? Helping the order is being here, doing your job. If you didn’t want the responsibilities of being Supreme leader you should have thought of that before killing Snoke. Oh yes, I know it wasn’t the scavenger girl, you didn’t do very well to hide It.” He scowled frowning deeply as he jerked Kylo’s hands off of him.

“I’m sure the order can manage in my absence, or do you think you can’t handle things on your own?” He added. He knew it was rude, petty even, but he didn’t care anymore.

“Insulting me now, are you? Always have to see yourself as the hero, Everyone’s glorious savior. I don’t need saving. I know how to play my part, you’d do well to know yours or you might find yourself like Snoke, dead and powerless.”

Kylo stepped back, anger consuming him. What was Hux saying? Would he really be that heartless to his own partner? “Are you threatening me? Hux are you threatening to kill me? Even after all we’ve been through? I’m doing this for you! Why can’t you see that!”

“Doing this for me?” Hux laughed. “Ren all I ever asked you to do was stay!” Kylo could hear the hurt in his voice, Hux didn’t feel like Kylo was abandoning the order, he felt like Kylo was abandoning him. He wanted to reassure him but he couldn’t, he was too stubborn, too prideful, they both were.

“You just don’t understand, I have to do this, this is bigger than anything, bigger than the war, bigger than the order.” 

Hux froze. “So it’s not me?” 

Kylo was confused. “What?”

“You’re not doing this for me, for the order, you're not doing this to win the war, you’re doing this for yourself.” He poked Kylo’s chest in an accusatory manner. “I used to think we had the same goals-“

“We do!” Kylo cut him off.

“No, if you leave, you’ve made your decision. This isn’t about making the order better, this is about proving some thing to yourself because you can still can’t get over the fact that there’s still some of your parents in you.”

“I- YOU’RE SO INSUFFERABLE!” He screamed stopping on the ground, Hux stumbled back. Kylo hadn’t thought he used the force, but he must have.

“I Could say the same to you.” Hux said, regaining his footing and crossing his arms.

Kylo took a deep breath. He couldn’t keep doing this, getting angry until he hurt the people he loved. That was the old him, what he used to do. Once he was calm enough he spoke again. “What is this, what are we doing?” 

“Arguing, we do that alot lately.” Hux stated blankly.

“Hux why are we together?” Kylo took a deep breath. It hurt to say but It was a question he needed answered. 

“Good point. I’m breaking up with you.” Hux answered unceremoniously, as if he hadn’t put any thought in it at all.

Kylo panicked. “WAIT WHAT?”

“We always argue, you never listen, we don’t work. If there's no reason for us to be together, then let’s not be together.” Kylo had to admit he did have a point, but he loved Hux, Hux did too, at least that's what he had thought, but he had broken it so quickly, Maybe Kylo had been blind all along.

“You’d leave just like that?”

“As far as I’m concerned, you already left.” Hux said turning his back to him.

“You can’t do this to me! I WON’T LET YOU LEAVE!” He yelled after him, but Kylo just couldn’t force him to stay.

“Oh and you can keep this,” Hux slipped his ring off his finger, the ring Kylo had given him, the ring that he was meant to keep forever, and he threw it to the floor. The cold metal band clattered against the transprestell and rolled to Kylo’s feet. He stared at it, hearing Hux’s footsteps walk away from him. He gripped his head in his hands trying to hold back but he yelled “I’LL NEVER LOVE YOU AGAIN!”

The force of his yell threw Hux back, tumbling through the door. He’d seen Snoke do it before but he never knew what it felt like to do himself. His chest hurt, his throat felt tight. He couldn’t bare to look at Hux sprawled out on the ground, blown back by the blast so he used the force and shut his door quickly. As soon as he was alone tears streamed down his face making his eyes sting. He gripped his saber hilt, and the blade flickered to life. He wanted so badly to stab it through his heart, or the empty pit where it should be, but he drove it through the wall instead. This was it, there was no coming back from this. A broken relationship, of broken men, it had always been made to shatter.

@lessdenied @fives-ren @jaynesilver @thegeneralorder @diabollicallyangelic

@existing-sadly

@theosb0rnway

@dragonflies-draw-flame @hpdmism @fridayincarnate @tomatette

@transmasc-vampire-is-tired

@bostarsky

@kyluxshortshorts

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[thepilotanon]

do you have any.....silly kylo hc with his partner? stuff that no one else but you would see kylo be and its silly :)

Ohhhh, yes, yes, yesyesyesyesyesyes.

We know Kylo is famous for his shirtless bit when he Force connects with Rey, but I raise one up with pantless Kylo wearing his shirt in his quarters with his partner. You just casually walk in and find Kylo having a rare time off and just...not wearing pants. Pale, thick trunks of legs and Kylo borrowing your favorite mug for tea is a funny image in my mind, and I think he would notice you puffing your cheeks to try and keep in your laughter. "You realize that my usual pants are leather and not really breathable, right? I need to breathe sometimes." "Yet you'd wear pants after taking a hot shower??" "I'd rather not getting the risk of a towel snap in the locker room." Kylo would let you smack his flat ass, though. He likes the attention from you.

Kylo sneezing. He doesn't sneeze in public, which is weird. But he sneezes and it startles the both of you, because it comes out of nowhere; like a beast of a sneeze that scares of predators within a six mile radius, startles Kylo from his nap and look around all confused. He's looking around all confused before sniffling and cursing about how much he hates getting those rare sneeze attacks. Once you're used to it, you usually snicker when you see Kylo scare himself awake or at random when he sneezes.

Kylo mocking people. He mocks Hux the most, Pryde second. The way he does a bad impression of their voices and mannerisms is more comical, even though he's trying to be serious when he's telling you exactly what they've done to annoy him. Kylo notices how much you enjoy it in your private quarters, especially before bed, and eventually tries to amp his acting performance to get you laughing. "Ugggh, I'm HuX aNd I kNoW hOw To RuN a ShIp WhEn KyLo IsN't HeReeee." "And how does that make you feel, 'Hux'?" "LiKe I hAvE tHe BiGgEsT bAlLs In ThE gAlAxYYY."

Kylo just also smiles and laughs a lot when he's alone with you, like he doesn't need to feel like he has to have a wall up, or portray himself as the Commander/Supreme Leader to anyone. It's not like he's letting Ben Solo out, because he is who he is and you love him regardless, but it's still the More Real Him. He likes to make jokes with you or tease you relentlessly, actually tickles you and behaves so casual and relaxed - and it's silly, because no one but you knows about it.

[not-so-allegiant-general]

GingerPilotWeek 2023

Secret Relationship

(one of the best flavours of gingerpilot if you would ask me)

Hux sighed putting on his uniform, he glanced down on the sleeping pilot. This man is going to be a death of his. He covered his shoulders with a coat and felt warm hand on his back.

" Woah. You look serious in that thing" pilot said quietly

Redhead snorted. Poe sighed tracing his back.

"I don't need to tell you that this is our…

"Last meeting? Yeah. I figured. Guessed you will be occupied with other things."

"You too." Poe cleared his throat.

"You know?" Hux snorted annoyed.

"Of course i know, commander Dameron. "He turned his head to look at him "i should arrest you. Here and now." Poe smiled.

"You would like that don't you..? Pull me naked from the bed, bring outside to one of your fancy shuttles? Put me in interrogation chair…"

"Stop that." He barked.

"Armitage."Poe sat up and pulled him closer. "You are a wise man. Can't you see that… "

"Stop. That. I have to go." Poe sighed hugging him "Dameron stop."

"Alright General." Poe let him go. " Forgive me that i won't wish you good luck. " Hux looked at the ground "but… Stay safe Armitage" he whispered.

"Don't let me kill you, Dameron."

"Well… Don't try and i will be fine."

" I can't promise that. The next time i see you i will act accordingly with regulations" he stood up taking his hat from a night stand. Poe sighed looking at him.

"Wait." He got up taking off ring from his neck and put it on Hux."Take it."

"No. It's…"

"It's yours. Always was, always will be. Even when it will become even harder." Poe kissed him. " If you ever think about… Leaving. Just contact me. I know you will find a way. I will help. No matter what you will do or what will happen. I will."

"You have no idea what are you talking about" Hux whispered.

"Yeah. I know. That's what love is about, right?." He smiled putting forehead on his shoulder. "Stay safe." He let him go and went back to bed. Hux stood there for a few minutes, he went to the door and froze.

"Poe?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you… Have someone in Hosnian system?" Poe looked at him in surprise.

"No… No i don't. I mean i know a bunch of people but no one close. Why?" Hux leaned on the door frame. "Armitage?"

"Nothing. Just… Nothing. Sleep well." He left him quickly. He was holding ring tight in hand like the last spark of hope in his life.

[running-tweezers]

Ok, I’m finally doing it.

The Damien/Huxley Pining Playlist

I am well known amongst my friends for my Far Too Thought Out Playlists. I have one for like, every D&D character I’ve ever made, and have written full Google docs about each song and why it’s there.

Combine that with my voracious love of DamiHux and pining? We get this.

So if you just want to listen without reading an essay, I will put my annotations and thoughts under the cut. (But it will probably enhance your listening experience tbh)

Congrats you’ve entered the

MARISA ANALYSIS ZONE

Welcome. You’re my kinda people.

First the basics, this playlist encapsulates Damien and Huxley's entire pre-confession relationship, from their first meeting, through Inversion, to the confession itself. It alternates POVs, I’ll label each song with a color to make it easier to follow. Cool? Let’s go.

——————————————————————————

Stray Italian Greyhound - Vienna Teng

Kicking off the playlist with one of my very favorite songs on it. First song, Damien’s first impressions of Huxley.

The denial was REAL. Those initial feelings were met with a “OH NO, OH GOD, OH FUCK” kind of reaction. Damien was totally unsure of what to even do with what he was feeling. After all, he isn’t the kind to get so mushy and sappy over a little crush! Especially on someone he literally just met! He’s far too cynical for something like that. So he just tried to push it down, ignore it.

But it “won’t sit still” “won’t do what it’s told”. Huxley came into his life and changed EVERYTHING. In a way that feels incredible, but makes things complicated. And he’s going to have to deal with it eventually.

But not now.

Enchanted - Taylor Swift

Putting this song on this playlist is part of where my “Huxley is a Swiftie” headcanon came from. It was a joke at first, I swear.

This is Huxley’s POV of their first meeting at the bowling alley. The “forcing laughter, faking smiles” really plays into where Hux was at that point, still putting on a bit of an act and not letting people see past the surface level. But he met Damien, they hit it off, and Hux was immediately feeling some kinda way.

I’m convinced this big guy had some giddy, twirling hair, kicking feet energy about Damien. Thinking about him for days after they met. Hoping that they would continue to be friends and get closer. And that this was the beginning of something that could be amazing.

Trouble - Troye Sivan & Jay Som

You can’t deny it forever, Damien.

This is Damien coming to terms with the fact that yes, he does have some feelings for Huxley. He’s now got a group of friends like he’s never had before, and that’s changing his outlook a little bit. He doesn’t want to live like he’s been living anymore, focused entirely on school and grades, and hurrying to the future he wants for himself.

And one of those friends felt like something different to him and he can’t deny it anymore. As scary as that was.

THATS WHAT I WANT - Lil Nas X

I think we as a society do not talk enough about how lonely Huxley was.

Huxley was the kind of guy who was friendly with everyone. He was liked by pretty much everyone. He was liberal with hugs and willing to give every ounce of love he had to other people.

But he was still guarded. Playing the version of himself everyone expected. Afraid to be himself. All that friendliness and love given away didn’t translate to anything substantial.

He wanted someone to love him back.

And now he had friends! Which was amazing and made him a lot less lonely. But one of his friends, again, was different. And he desperately wanted a different kind of love back from him. One he was more than happy to give, but afraid he wouldn’t receive in return.

Out of My League - Fitz and the Tantrums

First of all. God I love Fitz and the Tantrums.

We know that Damien doesn’t think he’s good enough for Huxley. He ESPECIALLY thought that in this stage, around the time of Friendsgiving.

Damien knows he’s easily annoyed, loses his temper quickly, and doesn’t think he’s much to look at either. But Huxley is so patient, is a calming presence, and is incredible to look at as far as Damien’s concerned. Huxley is so wonderful, and so far out of his league that he really thought he had no chance.

But that doesn’t stop him from daydreaming. Hoping someday he might be more than just a dream.

Golden - Harry Styles

Damien might think that he’s not good enough, but Huxley would definitely beg to differ. In a lot of ways, Huxley thought Damien was too good for him. Too smart, too bright, too driven to be interested in someone like him.

So he decided to keep his feelings to himself. Because he knows Damien isn’t nearly as open with that kind of thing as he is.

Also I think this song’s bright, firey, sun-coded imagery being seen as something to be admired and adored is really in line with Huxley seeing everything Damien thinks is bad about himself and loving him for those exact things.

Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery

This is the one. I could do a whole lyric by lyric breakdown of this one. But I will attempt to keep it brief. Bc I’m obviously so good at that, just look at this post

Immediately after the Inversion, Damien had some very complicated feelings. About Huxley, about himself, about everything. This song encapsulates all of that.

Huxley saves his life in several ways that night. Both by being a support during his breakdown, and physically, literally saving his life when he exhausted all his magic. And he still feels like he can’t reach out. They hasn’t spoken at all. I can’t help but think that maybe he feels like it’s better that way, like it’s his fault, like Hux doesn’t want to hear from him. After all, Huxley was so emotionally mature about it all and he was not.

Combine that with his feelings of inadequacy, looking back at the night and wishing there was some way to take back some the the decisions he made. He would’ve helped Hux the same way Hux helped him, if he had just done things differently.

So he’s throwing himself completely into training. Maybe if he just works hard enough, he can make up for it. And maybe those complicated emotions will go away.

Also. Two specific lyrics I feel I need to point out. “I need you here to stay” is an excellent counterpart yo Huxley’s “right here” and we all know how I feel about a fuckin motif. And of course “all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” is almost literal in this case’

(I have so much more to say about this one, but perhaps another time)

Heat Waves - Glass Animals

Though Huxley seemed to handle the aftermath of Inversion with a calm maturity, that doesn’t mean he didn’t have his own struggles.

As he went home to be with his family and deal with things, his feelings for Damien stayed. I do wonder what he was thinking during that time, when Damien wasn’t talking to him after everything they went through. I think that maybe he also blamed himself a bit. Maybe they weren’t as close as he thought? He felt like no matter what he did or said, it wouldn’t help Damien, no matter how much he wanted it to.

Also like. “Heat Waves” is too perfect a concept to not use in this playlist.

Delicate - Taylor Swift

After things start to return to some kind of normalcy after Inversion, Damien’s feelings for Huxley are stronger than ever. There’s no denial anymore, he really likes Huxley. He’s thinking about Huxley a lot. He wants to be with Huxley.

But things are different now, whether they like it or not. Inversion changed things, and everyone is still working through that night at their own pace. So there is a lot of hesitation on Damien’s part about what he should and shouldn’t do about the feelings he has.

By this point they’re hanging out together more, just the two of them. And Damien is really wrestling with whether or not to let Hux know how he feels. There’s a fear that he might upset the delicate situation they’re currently in, as friends who have been through hell together and are still healing from it.

Dandelions - Ruth B.

At the same time that Damiens’s so concerned about what moves to make, Huxley has never lined harder. He is firmly in “lovesick puppy” territory. He’s gotten even closer to Damien, and know him on a deep level now. He knows the parts of Damien he doesn’t show most people. And he loves them.

Damien just makes him so happy.

This song’s imagery is so good as well. It gives vibes of lush, green earth and flowers and something just so Huxley imo

In My Head - Joe Serafini & Andrew Barth Feldman

I am incapable of making a playlist for anything without including at least one musical theater song, and this is no exception. Through this not from an actual musical, it’s more theater adjacent, let’s call it.

We’re into right before the confession territory, a song for both of them, a duet. This song perfectly illustrates the awkward stage they’re in, as friends who both desperately want to be something different.

So much of this song feels so perfect for them specifically, it’s like it written for them, I swear. Huxley’s worries about being too much, Damien feeling like he’s not good enough, the gym line, it’s all too good honestly.

Right Here - Betty Who

And the playlist caps off with this one, the song that Erik Redacted himself said was their song. And it really is perfect, especially with that “Right Here” motif carried through their relationship that I love so much. It’s just so damn soft and so am I. I love them your honor.

——————————————————————————

HOLY SHIT this took so long. I sincerely hope you got something out of all of the ravings of a mad man that this ended up being.

Also @redactedbloop dinner’s ready, eat up!!!

[ramenboba]

TLJ 2nd watch in 2024 commentary.

Part 2.

This film feels quite like a play at times - I guess it ties in with what cast members have said about it. That it felt like an indie project, kind of.

But really - it is so thoughtful. I really don’t have any criticism against it as a movie, but I would like to express my sadness about the fact that it does belong to a franchise called Star Wars.

Which is owned by a big company called Disney. Who has shareholders who wanna make big bucks. Which is cool and I get it…It really isn’t my place to say it but I’d really like to get a sequel to TLJ. Even Trevorrow’s Duel of the Fates would do!!

TROS slander incoming.

Ugh I hate how Kylo is just annoying and doing his villain stuff in 2/3rds of the movie and then just pulls a 180 after his mom reaches out to him with the force? Couldn’t she have done that earlier?

Like, his whole villain arc wasn’t that he wanted to be EVIL per se, he just wanted to take charge of his own fate in a way. That’s why he’s so obsessed with killing his past (and his dad) - because of what it represents, not that he actually wants to do the action.

And that’s where his conflict comes in - because he’s on some level painfully aware that he’s only doing this to destroy his previous identity and construct a new one. Which is why he feels like an imposter and breaks the mask - he doesn’t want to be one.

And yes, IRL he could’ve started spiralling back into his “masked” Kylo Ren identity andwhatnot, but we all know that they made that a plot point so they could sell Kylo Ren merch with the cracked mask. I don’t make the rules.

TLJ criticism

1) Too much going on.

- Some choices were def made just to fit everything in.

For example, Rey (main character) kinda dissapears in the continuation of the 3rd act. Maybe they could’ve incorporated her into Kylo/Luke’s confrontation scene, for example, she loses to Kylo in the duel, Luke saves her. But for that we’d have to rewrite the last 1/3 of the film. That would also put her and Kylo on equal ground on saber duels lost/won and would give her a reason to train in 9.

Finn doesn’t get to sacrifice himself (which would have been a better end than getting no character arc at all from rhe next film), because that would take focus away from Luke’s sacrifice.

2) Kylo doesn’t look as pretty as he did in TFA (I’m not 100% serious with this one), but I’m sure it was a concious choice to make his hair less fluffy and curly and to let Driver wear less concealer so that Kylo could look as desperate/weak as possible to reflect his mental state.

3) Music was better in TFA :(

4) Too much going on.

Having said all that, I’ll never be a Sequel Trilogy hater.

Things I really liked

1) Everything about Luke’s arc

2) Kylo’s story, it taking a darker turn

!!!Everytime Hux and Ren interact on screen there’s god-tier tension or ACTUALLY funny moments!!! Which I love!

!!!The part where Rey and Kylo both incorrectly project their hopes and desires on one-another just to be dissappointed!!!Peak drama, and realistic for once! Unseen for generations!

3) The serious atmosphere

4) Poe was funny idk he just looks so annoyed for the entire Holdo arc I think that’s funny

5) Finn & Rose are 2 cute cinnamon rolls

[titleleaf]

7, 12, 19

7: What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

This is the relationship I have to both Mads Mikkelsen's Hannibal Lecter and Domhnall Gleeson's Armitage Hux, but with the additional element in the former case that the showrunner was absolutely huffing the same farts as the selfsame faction of annoying fans. (Or maybe it's the other way around.)

12: the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Thankfully not as disliked as in the past but Sally Reed from HBO's Barry is a really wonderful complex and fucked-up character -- funny, tender, terrible, vulnerable, heartfelt -- and I would recommend her as well as Deborah Vance from Hacks to anyone who wants a miserable female meow meow.

19: you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Damn, this one's hard because I like a lot of arguably fairly crap things, but Big Mouth is my most questionable comfort fandom.

[nat-seal-well]

Nsft question: what titles do you think the boys would like to be called during smexy time if any? Would any of them prefer a nickname or their own name?

Anon, you have no idea how excited I was to wake up and see this in my inbox. I had a lot of fun thinking about this, so thank you!

(Also, some of these are probably going to be longer than others. I don’t really have a format in mind, I’m just kinda jumping in and rambling. Also, this is just the main three groups—the vampires and wolves and the D.A.M.N crew, just because those are the ones I’m most familiar with. If anyone has ideas for the others, I would love to hear them!)

Under the cut for obvious reasons lol. 18+, minors DNI, y’know. The usual.

Out of all the boys, I think the ones who would prefer their own name would be Vincent, Huxley, David, and Gavin, but all for slightly different reasons.

Vincent takes a lot of joy in knowing that he’s the one making Lovely feel good, getting them worked up and lost in pleasure because of him. He isn’t cocky about it, though; he just loves being the one who gets to make them come undone. He loves hearing Lovely use his name because, yes! That’s him! He’s the one teasing these reactions out of them. Out of everyone in the world, he’s the lucky one who gets to do it. He just loves Lovely so much.

Huxley is very chill, just all the time. I feel like he’s also extremely accommodating; he doesn’t mind indulging in a fantasy or a kink, as long as it makes his partner (Damien, or someone else) feel good. But he doesn’t have any titles he actually prefers. What really gets him is when the other person uses his name. In general, a lot of people tend to call him Hux, which he always likes. But in the bedroom, when he’s devoted entirely to pleasing his partner, nothing gets to him quite like hearing his name—Huxley, not just Hux—spill from their lips. It just hits different.

David, I don’t really see being into the nicknames or the titles. Well, we all know Angel’s going to call him Davey while in bed, but that’s only when they’re being a brat and they want to tease him. (He never lets that go unpunished, but that is neither here nor there.) But he doesn’t really have any that he prefers. We know he’s kinky—there was that role play in the woods in that one BA we all know and love—but I just don’t see him actually being into any titles. He just likes it when Angel finally calls him by his full first name; they call him Davey so often that hearing David always manages to get a rise out of him.

Gavin is a bit of a special case. Being an incubus, and having been around for a while, he’s more than a little bit experienced. Gavin is another one who tends to be rather accommodating. He kinda has to be, y’know? This means he doesn’t mind the titles the other person uses, if he’s doing a scene or anything with them—that is, at least until he meets Freelancer. His Deviant changes all of that. Freelancer is the first person to actually see Gavin as anything other than a sex object. And while he’s still more than willing to indulge them, he really, really likes it when they call him Gavin. Because that’s them seeing him for who he is rather than just what he is.

The boys who I think like being called a nickname are Sam and Damien.

Sam usually just goes by Sam in his daily life, outside of the bedroom. I don’t really see him having any nicknames. Until he meets Darlin’, that is. They like to call him Sammy when they’re messing with him. He tries to act annoyed, but he actually thinks it’s sweet. They absolutely used it during their first time together too, and Sam fucking loved it. He likes the playfulness of it, but he especially likes hearing Darlin’—his big, strong, fiercely independent mate—whimper it in his ear as he manages to get them worked up and stumbling over the edge. It’s usually paired with claw marks down his back. Sam likes that a lot too, naturally.

Damien doesn’t like titles. They just… don’t sit right with him. He’s experimented a couple of times before, and has tried out a handful of different ones just to see, but all of them just make him scrunch up his nose and say, “Actually please don’t call me that ever again.” He’s rather impartial to his own name. That’s just his name. For a long time he thought he didn’t have a preference when it came to sex, but he found out he likes it when his partner calls him by a nickname. Dami. Or Dames, of course. Something about it just lights a fire in him. A different one than usual. He likes the idea of having his partner just so lost and feeling good that they can’t get his whole name out and have to settle for a shortened version. It makes him more than a little smug.

And for the rest, I think they prefer actual titles or pet names: Milo, Asher, and Lasko.

Milo is a dom. If his HBS audio from this summer and his BA have told me anything, it’s that he is absolutely a dom. Sweetheart likes it rough, and he is eager to give them exactly what they want. This includes titles. Milo doesn’t mind being called by his first name. But he also really likes being called Sir. It’s a big turn-on for him. He just likes the way it sounds, especially when it’s coming from a needy Sweetheart on their knees for him. Sweetheart can be such a troublemaker outside of the bedroom, giving him near-heart attacks on a daily basis and messing with him at every opportunity. He loves seeing them so eager to please, and desperate for anything he’s willing to give them. Also, the title kind of acts like a sort of safeword, almost. Or the lack of it, to be specific. Sweetheart likes to call him Sir while they’re in the middle of a scene. If they drop it and suddenly switch to calling him Milo instead, especially if they’re in the middle of something, it’s a sign to press pause and check in.

Asher likes to be called a couple things in bed. He likes Pup, or Puppy. He likes being called a good boy. None of these are probably a surprise. Babe uses them all differently, though, and that is important. If they’re playing with him and trying to get him riled up, they like to lean in close and call him Pup right in his ear, for no one else to hear but him. Especially if there’s someone else around and they want to tease him. Puppy is for when they’re being sweet and soft. Babe likes to use this one when they’re just trying to bring him pleasure and make him feel good, and when they want to make it intimate. They like to use this one when they’re edging him, too, and trying to encourage him to hold off for just a little bit longer. On the other hand, good boy is for the opposite—whenever he’s pleasing them. Babe likes to use that when he goes down on them, or whenever they have him under them to ride him, or whenever they’re trying to get him to cum. It works every single time.

And, last but most certainly not least, Lasko! Lasko likes a couple others, too. Slightly similar to Ash, Pet will have him on his knees if his partner is teasing him or being playful. Baby is a good one whenever they’re pleasing him. They’ll whisper it as they trail kisses down his body before taking him into their mouth or fingering him to get him ready for them. One of his personal favorites is Little One, just because it’s so sweet. It makes him feel safe whenever his partner has him on the edge and desperate and begging. He also likes that one when he’s overstimulated, or trying to recover from an orgasm. They’ll run a hand through his hair and kiss his forehead and whisper it in his ear while he’s coming down and soaking in the afterglow.

[beewithknee]

stress relief

gavin x hux x damien x lasko x freelancer poly ficccc

Something was wrong with the Freelancer, everyone could tell. They were stressed and annoyed. Snappy and tired. Angry and reserved. They were hiding something and their partners were determined to find out what.

It had been another long day at D.A.M.N, you were tired and stressed and anxious and you still had so much more work to do once you got home. Life was being a bitch and honestly you were so sick of it all. You unlocked the door, expecting everybody to be at work, the university or just out. A groan ripped its way out of your chest as you shrugged off your coat and rubbed your sore shoulders. “Wow, deviant. What’s up with the groaning?” The sharp voice and hand on your shoulder scared the shit out of you, your body acting on its own, throwing out a burst of fire at the unknown assailant. You whipped around, eyes wide with horror at your stared at your boyfriend. “Oh god! Gavin, I'm so sorry. Shit, are you okay?!” Your eyebrows furrowed and you started patting him down while spurting out apologies. Honestly, Gavin didn't care, it was kinda funny in his opinion. “Woah, woah, woah. It’s okay freelancer, I didn't mean to startle you. It’s okay” He reassured his frantic partner. You shook your head “No, no, it's not okay. I could seriously hurt you. Are you sure your alr-” Your sentence was stopped by a pair of warm lips landing on your own. “Mmm, my favourite way to shut you up.” He chuckled heartily. “But seriously deviant, I'm fine. I can redirect your flames fairly easily.” A warm smile was sent your way. You sighed heavily, still feeling guilty but accepting that Gavin was alright. Said incubus could see how tight your shoulders were, he could practically feel all the knots in you and that made him angry. You started waking away, back facing Gavin as you got your stuff ready to do more studying.

What was wrong? And why weren't you telling him?

“Hey Freelancer. Is everything okay?” He walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, head on your shoulder. After a few seconds you shrugged him off. What the hell?

You didn’t do that… ever.

“Nothing Gav, I gotta finish this project so I might be working a bit late tonight.” You informed him, resigned to the fact you were going to be pulling another all-nighter. Fuck. Gavin let it go for now, knowing that pushing the issue would just make you madder and more closed off.

One by one the hours passed and your boyfriends arrived home. All of them noticed you slaving away at your work but didn’t want to interrupt. “Hey Gav, how long have they been at it?” Damien whispered to the incubus, concerned about his partner. “Uh” Gavin grabbed Damien’s wrist and looked at his watch. “It’s been about 4 hours. They also sent some flames at me when I scared them this afternoon.” He admitted, looking over to see Damien raising his eyebrows. “Shit, okay. We need to keep a better eye on them, I can practically smell the stress on them.” Gavin nodded in agreement, you needed help whether you were going to admit it or not.

The boys all got dinner ready, it was your favourite dish and they figured it’d cheer you up a bit. “Okay Freelancer. Dinner time.” Damien instructed, but you ignored him. You figured he’d leave you alone and keep working. Spoiler alert: he didn't. “What are you doing? Come on, dinner, genius.” The fire elemental demanded, he was sick of you ignoring your own health. “I’ll eat dinner in a bit. I’ve just gotta finish this section.” You responded, annoyed but still lying through your teeth. The others knew it too. “Nope.” Damien smiled terrifyingly. “What does that m-AH” You shrieked as you were suddenly lifted up from your seat. What the?? Wait you knew those arms. “Huxley put me down right goddamn now.” You were furious, how dare they? Did they have any idea the amount of work you had? “Sorry bro, no can do. You’re gonna come and eat with all of us and then we’re gonna take care of you.” Huxley kept his voice calm and steady but his arms tight. You were like a fish out of water, squirming every which way. “I don't need taking care of. I’m not a child. I need to finish my work.” You protested, still writhing in the earth elemental’s grip. Lasko came up to you and put a soothing hand on your face, making you look directly into his eyes. The boys took your moment of weakness and moved you. Soon you were (involuntary) being flanked by your boyfriends. They had chosen to eat on the couch with your favourite movie playing in the background. Thank god you had a big couch. “Seriously guys, I'm fine. I just need to finish my work and then I'll eat.” At this point you were not above begging. No-one responded. All you got in return was being shifted a bit. You were sat in between Gavin’s legs with Huxley directly to your right, with his arm around Gavin’s shoulders, Damien was on your left holding both yours and his plates and Lasko was on the ground between your legs. “Look, please. Okay, are you happy? I’m begging you ple… please” Your voice cracked and the tears welled up in your eyes. Damien put the plates down and brought your hand into his while Lasko turned around. “Honey, we’re not doing this to be mean. But we can all see how tired you are. You need a break and we are going to take care of you tonight.” His slightly stuttered words left no room for argument and you sunk back into Gavin reluctantly. “Fine.” You relented, Damien handed you your food and watched to make sure you actually started eating before he touched his own.

You all had finished and you had to admit, it did feel good to get some hearty homemade food into you. “Thank you, I don't know what I'd do without you all.” You whispered out into the night air. The incubus started pressing soft kisses to your neck while Hux and Damien each kissed your hand and Lasko kissed your thigh. It was their way of saying ‘you're welcome’ “Okay Honey, how about we get you into some pyjamas and go to bed?” Lasko proposed, he could see your eyelids drooping and knew that you’d been pulling a fair few all nighters lately. You nodded your agreement sluggishly, making grabby hands up at Huxley. He chuckled and scooped you up, your head rested on his shoulder and you turned your head so that it faced his neck. “I love you so much Hux.” It was like a little secret between you too and that's what made it so much sweeter. “I love you too bro. You deserve the world.” You huffed a laugh at his pet name but didn't comment on it, it made you smile. You had bought a bigger bed when you had started dating 4 people, making sure it comfortably fit all of you. You stripped quickly and got changed into one of Lasko’s shirts and what you thought were Huxley’s shorts as they went down to your mid thigh. Eventually you all climbed into bed and got into a good position. “Freelancer. We all love you but you need to take care of yourself, not eating is not okay. Not sleeping is not okay. Not telling us when something is wrong is not okay.” Gavin stated firmly, he loved you truly but he needed you to understand those things. Damien continued “We want you to be safe and healthy but how can we make sure you are if you won’t tell us when something is wrong?” You felt guilty.

You just didn't want them to worry. “And I know you’ll say you just don't wanna be a burden or make us worry or something like that, but that's our job. You are never a burden and we adore taking care of you. It makes us happy knowing we can help.” Lasko added, reinforcing the point. Everyone expected Huxley to say something funny or stupid but all he said was “You're not alone anymore.” You broke, being surrounded by people you loved and who loved you, knowing that they wanted you to be okay and that you weren't a bother to them made you so happy. Tears slipped down your cheeks as you clung onto Gavin, sobbing into his chest. Lasko rubbed your back gently as you did. All of them felt their eyes get misty as you cried, they hated that you never felt like you were good enough. “Shh, it’s okay. Breathe bro. You’re gonna make yourself sick.” Hux whispered gently. You understood now, you knew you were loved but they’d still spend everyday proving it to you. “Shh, sleep. It’s okay. We’ve got you.” One of them spoke, your eyelids felt so heavy. Your mind slowed and soon enough you were down for the count. “God I love them so much.” Damien smiled softly at your sleeping form. “Yeah, me too. I’m gonna give them tomorrow off, I'll let their teachers know.” Lasko promised, he was gonna give you as much help as you needed, even if you didn't ask. The lights were out, everyone was asleep and the freelancer felt safe. Everything would be okay because they had the best people to support them.

[fuzzy-melonlord]

Idk if you’ve already done these for them but

The DAMN poly (Gavin, Huxley, Lasko, Damien and freelancer) with Love: 2,4,10 and Domestic Life: 6,7,10?

Thankyou and I hope you have a good day!

oooo i actually didn't get any for the DAMN Poly fam! So thank you :D there are a lot of characters so i'll do my best with em! thank you for sending this in! :D

Love

2. What are their primary love languages? - Okay so Damien and Freelancer are Acts of Service. Gavin's you would think would be physical touch but his is actually words of affirmation, Huxley's is quality time, and Lasko's is gift giving (he bought everyone d&d dice that reminded him of them)

4. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA? - Okay so there are a lot of dynamics to think about. If Gavin is with any combination of the fam, then there will be a lot of PDA it is inevitable. If Gavin is NOT with the group for whatever reason, PDA is usually on the lighter end and initiated by either Freelancer (another criminal offender like Gavin but not as bad lol), or Huxley. Damien doesn't really initiate PDA all that often. and Lasko does it on rare occasions, but it's always when he's sure no one else is paying attention to them.

10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection? - okay so hear me out. Lasko, and Freelancer prefer Physical while Damien, Gavin, and Huxley prefer verbal. i know what you're thinking. but just this is what my gut is telling me.

Domestic life

6. Who worries the most? - Lasko and Freelancer. Lasko has just general worries, and anxieties that come from just him existing as a person. He wants to make sure his partners are okay and comfortable and that he's never intruding where he's not wanted. and all of his partners make sure to smother him with love when these moments happen. Freelancer is more complicated because they pretend they're not worried but they are just 365 so stressed. After all the things with Kody, and Vega they're just a bundle of anxiety and nerves. Caelum is helping them through that though when they feel too anxious to talk to their partners about their concerns (usually Caelum encourages them to talk to their partners to so it leads back to them anyway.)

7. Who kills the bugs in the house? - Damien. He HATES bugs. with a passion. like if there is a fly in the room he will not stop until it's dead. Hux usually takes the bugs outside and like waves them goodbye.

10. Who's the better cook? - Damien and Huxley. They tend to cook the most out of everyone. Sure Gavin magic's up some food (and will always annoy Damien by pretending he has no idea how human kitchens work), and Lasko knows...enough to live on his own (which isn't much), and Freelancer can bake but Damien and Huxley take the cake when it comes to cooking skills.

[solohux]

Alphas want Hux, Betas want Hux, and even Omegas want Hux. But nobody would ever act on this. Still Kylo is annoyed because of this (ever since he fell in love with the Omega General)

So does poor Kylo just have to deal with listening to everyone's thoughts about how much they wish that Omega Hux was theirs? Not all of them are filthy thoughts, of course, but a lot of them are and it drives Kylo mad. He's the only one who gets to think about Hux's cute peachy butt!

[waatermelon-sugaar]

Under My Skin: Chapter 5

Words = 9k

Summary = You’ve been kidnapped by the First Order and Poe wants needs you back

Warnings = No fun warnings I’m sorry! There is a happy ending, but before we get there it’s, kidnapping, forced drugging, aftermath of that, general pain, hurt/comfort, violence, hospital setting. I think that’s everything? Please, please, please let me know if I’ve missed anything - this got a lot darker than I intended (if you have any questions before you read, just shoot me a message and I’ll let you know!)

A/N = Sorry this chapter took so long - i think it might have actually killed me. But we’re at the end! Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who’s read this far, and stuck with the story, I love you all!  

Also special thanks to @michaelperry who beta’d this like a month ago and gave me some really good advice! 

Posted to AO3

Chapter 1   Chapter 4

Series Masterlist

***

When you wake, it’s cold. You're in a chair, hands strapped to the arms. It takes you a long time to open your eyes; your head is pounding and the bright lights shining on you are complicating matters.

The room swims slowly into focus as you blink, feeling like there’s glue on your lash line each time you try and open your eyes.

The room is a bright white, smelling faintly of chemicals and you keep blinking, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness. You move your head slightly, trying to think. There’s something just floating outside of your consciousness, something important you should be remembering, but every time you grab for it, it floats away.

You don’t know how long you sit like this, drifting in and out of consciousness, with little to no perception of what’s around you.

When there’s a loud slam, your whole body jerks forward in shock, but there’s nowhere to go. You’ve begun to lose most of the feeling in your arms, but your mind is beginning to feel clearer. Now you can hear a whirring beneath you, the slight vibration letting you know you’re on a ship, and it’s already in flight. How long have you been traveling for? You’re still cold, goosebumps up and down your arms as your teeth chatter slightly.

You focus on the person standing behind you, not bothering to turn your head. “It’ssnot polite … to … to slam t’door, y’know,”  You're shocked when your voice comes out more slurred than you meant it to.

The figure behind you just laughs, and it sends shivers down your spine. They walk forwards slowly, a cloak wrapped around their body, hood off. He seems a little familiar to you but you’re not sure why.

The room is coming more and more into focus, like someone’s turned up the intensity of your vision, and you can see that there are cupboards lining the wall in front of you, various tables and medical equipment visible.

The man had pale skin, ginger hair, although he was starting to lose it, his hairline creeping back in a subtle widow’s peak. He smiles, and it sends a shiver down your spine. “Oh dear. Struggling to talk?” His tone is mocking as he leans towards you.

Your mouth feels dry, like it’s been stuffed of cotton wool and you can’t think. You can’t remember … anything. How did you end up here? Who is this horrible man in front of you? Why does he look familiar?

You try to talk again. “Wha’ve’oou givenee?”

It’s a struggle to manipulate your mouth fast enough to separate your words, your tongue clumsy in your mouth, but you try. “Wha’ve you givenee? Given? Given. Me?”

“It’s wearing off, good good. Don’t worry sweetheart, you’ll be able to talk properly in around …” he looks at his wrist, considering. “Maybe 15 minutes?”

Sweetheart.

That feels familiar - why?

The man takes a seat, a much comfier looking one than the one you’re sat on, looking prepared to wait. He’s calm, shuffling through papers and clattering objects around. You try and pull it together, closing your eyes in an attempt to concentrate. You have 15 minutes before something’s going to happen. He wants you to be able to talk … so … so … so why can’t you think?

He wants you to tell him about the resistance.

Of course. The resistance. He needs information … and suddenly fear shoots down your spine.

Except obviously you won’t give him what he wants. So he’s waiting because…?

Why can’t you think?!

Someone else used to call you sweetheart.

And suddenly there’s a tan face in your memory, grinning at you and calling you sweetheart. And you can remember feeling frustration, but it’s different. This memory-frustration, it’s like a warm bubble inside you, rising and bursting as you call the man an idiot.

His hair is amazing.

You know his name. You know you do. It’s right there on the tip of your tongue - …

The man in the chair coughs, and the face flies out of your head, leaving a sharp pain in your chest instead. Why?

And gradually, you’re also becoming aware of a throbbing pain in your head. You don’t know what the cause is, whether you hit your head, or if it’s something as simple as dehydration.

There’s a high-pitched beep and the man sits up in his chair.

Poe.

You nearly gasp his name out, stopping yourself at the last second. But why does thinking about him hurt?

The man doesn’t seem to realise your inner conflict, or if he does, he doesn’t care, instead scraping his chair across to sit in front of you. “So sweetheart, let’s run through some basics. I’ll ask you a couple of questions to test where you are, then we’ll see what you know.”

You can smell his breath. It’s minty, matching his too-white teeth, and you hate it. You hate him. You already know you won’t answer a single one of his questions.

“Name?”

You nearly laugh, they don’t know your name?

“Sweetheart tell me what your name is, so I know that the drug is out of your system.”

You just blink at him, in that split second deciding on your tactic. Absolute silence.

You don’t get a reaction from him, however, instead he moves onto the next question.

“Date of birth?”

It takes an effort to not automatically respond, but you don’t change your expression.

The man just sighs again.

“Do you know who I am?”

You don’t, but you don’t reply.

“My name is General Hux and I am to deliver you and Poe Dameron to Kylo Ren.”

General Hux. And suddenly you remember Poe telling you something.

You laugh, unable to stop yourself. “You mean General Hugs? Aww you’re my favourite, I’m flattered that you of all people in the First Order would come to find me.”

You get the first flicker of annoyance crossing the man’s face. Then it resolves itself, and he grins. “So you can talk clearly now,” he stands, scraping the chair over the floor. “Good, good.” Opening one of the cupboards he pulls out some clear liquid in a large jar and a couple of bags, placing them onto a small table with a clatter, which he pushes towards you.

And all at once, with a heavy thud in your chest as the memory flashes across your eyes, you remember what you said to Poe. And that after, you walked into the forest-

You love him.

Fuuu-

Your line of thought is interrupted by the man saying your name. You clench your fists, suddenly aware of how cold your fingers are. You’re an idiot.

“You better start answering my questions now.” The man sits back in front of you, pulling the table next to him. And now you can see what’s in the bags. Absolutely enormous needles attached to syringes.

Your throat goes dry.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckfuck!

You try to squash the fear, instead baring your teeth in a grin. “Why? Will General Hugs be cross?”

For good measure, you add a pout in, and maker, you’ve never been so glad to be a piece of work.

“I will. And you won’t like me when I’m cross.”

You ignore the flash of fear you feel, instead concentrating on moving your feet inside your shoes in a futile attempt to warm them up. Your laugh is cold. “Oh I think I’ll be ok.”

He picks up a syringe, carefully unwrapping it, before drawing some clear liquid into it. You continue, ignoring his attempts to intimidate you. “After all, I don’t like you very much now, so I can’t even imagine what you could do to me to make me hate you more.”

He ignores you, tapping the syringe and watching a bubble float to the top. “Do you know what this is?”

Be annoying.

“Well if it’s the same thing as the first one you gave me, I wouldn’t recommend it because then I’ll just pass out again and you won’t get a coherent answer out of me, will you?”

He laughs, shaking his head. “Sweetheart, those people had nothing to do with the First Order. They just needed the money.”

“So the First Order don’t even have the manpower to come and get me yourself?” You tut. “Standards are slipping.”

“Mouthy bitch, aren’t you?” He’s still playing with the syringe, and you can’t help but eye the needle warily. “No, this is different. Lowers your inhibitions, your perceptions. You’ll tell me things you don’t even realise.”

“Ahhhh so you see, you’ve made a mistake there.” You’re talking rubbish, but you can’t seem to stop yourself, in full flow now. “I don’t have any inhibitions, anyone will tell you that I’m utterly shameless so I just, I really, really don’t think it’ll worth giving it to me, it just won’t work, and who knows how much the drug cost and what a waste, I really don’t think you, the great General Hugs would be hap-”

Your steady stream of consciousness is stopped when he slaps you with a resounding crack, your head flying to one side.

Pain immediately blooms on the side of your face, and you have to blink away a few tears from the impact.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know, silly girl, I need to find out where Poe Dameron is and-”

You interrupt with another laugh, and maybe that first injection addled your brain more than you thought it did, because that truly was a stupid thing to do. You’ve never acted like this before, and yet there’s a small voice in the back of your head telling you that Poe would be proud, so you keep going.

“You don’t know? So it’s pure luck that you found me - no wait, that I was delivered to you! Maker I love being right, standards really are slippi-”

The second slap hurts more than the first.

You sit there for a second in dumb shock, blood pooling in your mouth from the blunt force.

When Hugs rips your sleeve up your left forearm, holding the needle against your skin, you start to twist your wrist in it’s cuff, desperate to get away. You can see your wrist turning red, and your hand is starting to hurt from the force you’re using.

Hugs doesn’t waste any time though, using one cold hand to hold your wrist above the cuff still, gripping it tightly, he plunges the needle in with the other. When the needle pierces your skin, it hurts, you can feel the liquid soaking into your muscles and traveling up your arm.

The effect of this drug isn’t immediate, and so you sit there for a moment, arm aching, determined not to show how much this hurts. You turn your head to the other side and spit out the blood in your mouth, the red a bright contrast on the sparkling floor.

A mix of saliva and blood trails from your lips, and you explore your mouth with your tongue, finding the area where your teeth cut the inside of your cheek. You remove your tongue immediately upon finding it, not needing to add further pain to another area of your body.

Stars but the needle hurts.

“Do you-?” You nod towards your arm, naively hoping that Hugs will remove the needle. “Do you mind removing the needle, I mean-”

You stop talking when you move your fingers by accident and a stab of pain shoots up your arm.

Fuck the needle is massive too.

Hugs just grins, and the movement looks unnatural as he stretches stiff facial muscles, leaning back into his chair, tidying up the instruments on the table. “Maybe you’ll learn some manners,” is all he says.

“I thought - … I thought you wanted me to talk?” Your body is starting to hurt now, and it’s starting to be a struggle to speak again.

Except now you can feel the drug’s effect. It’s hardly noticeable at first, but gradually, gradually, the pain is receding. And the effect of this drug is different to the last, it’s lifting you up, making everything dream-like and fuzzy.

Everything thankfully stays in your mind, although you can’t help but giggle. Something’s funny.

“Tell me about General Dameron.” Hug’s voice is stern as he leans towards you and all you can do is let out another giggle.

General. He’s just Poe. Your Poe.

“I don’t know anything about him.” You’re such a bad liar. You’re trying to keep your face innocent and blank, but giggles keep rising up, and you’re sure it’s ruining the effect.

“I think you do.”

You giggle again. Maker this is good fun. Dimly, you register that your arm doesn’t hurt anymore and you stare as you wiggle your fingers, only feeling a faint thrum through your arm.

“Well you think wrong.” Are you singing? Singing sounds like fun.

“Can you confirm he stole kyber crystals alongside you a cycle ago?”

Fuck and you remember that mission so well. It was such a disaster. But as funny as this situation is, it remains in your mind that the man in front of you is a very bad man, and you can’t tell him anything.

“Answer me.” The command is sharp and stern, and you don’t like it. Hugs is mean. With a name like Hugs, he should really be nicer. You’d think he would be cuddlier, like a teddy bear. Instead he’s all sharp angles and words.

You pout. “No.” He’s so rude. Why should you answer him anyway? “Don’t you know? Me and Dameron hate each other - I know nothing about him.”

The phrase feels so familiar on your tongue, yet something about it is clunky, old-fashioned. The denial is an old friend of yours, and maybe you should have pushed down your feelings for him in the same way, and maybe you would already be feeling better. This pain in your chest is too much.

I don’t love Poe Dameron.

Even in your head it sounds flat.

Another slap to your face twists your head the opposite way. This one doesn’t hurt, you only notice it from the movement of your head.

“Answer me.” The commanding tone breaks through your dreamy haze. You have no idea what the question was, but you can feel a liquid pooling at the corner of your mouth. You blow out slightly, feeling a bubble forming.

The safe option is a petulant “No.”

“You will.”

“I will not.”

This is actually quite a fun game - the more you refuse, the more visibly annoyed Hugs gets. He’s trying so hard to stay calm, to stay in control, but you can see it in the twitch of his fingers. It kind of reminds you how Poe used to fight his annoyance towards you, the only difference being that Poe never moved to hurt you.

The questions continue for what feels like hours and hours. You have no perception of time, or how long has passed, only that you’re hungry and thirsty, and Hugs keep giving you more of this drug. You can’t remember what you say in response to the questions, but the one thing you keep in mind is not to tell them anything.

And one by one, each of your friends appears tauntingly in front of you, Rey chasing her head around the room, Rose uncontrollably floating above you like a balloon, Poe looking suspiciously normal, although with heavier eyebrows than usual, causing him to frown more. He upsets you first, telling you he’s glad you’re not friends, before saying that he hates you, he always has, he was just taking pity on you, that sleeping together was just stress relief. And then he sprouts wings, turning into an eagle, flying around the ceiling, where Rose was minutes before, except now you’re sobbing.

You’re aware that you’re hallucinating, each of them have a suspiciously shiny quality to them, a shimmer at their edges. But the idea of Poe telling you he hates you, that you never meant anything to him … it hurts.

Gradually, gradually, you can feel a tug of darkness at the edges of your mind, and everything inexplicably hurts, so you let it take you, if only so you won’t hurt anymore.

***

Back at base, Poe had never felt so out of control before. He’d always struggled with impulse management, the answer usually so clear in his mind. Suit up, jump into his x-wing, blow the problem up.

He couldn’t blow this problem up.

Everyone was moving so fast around him, yet they didn’t seem to be doing anything. You weren’t back, so they couldn’t be. Poe felt almost detached, looking down on his body surrounded by everyone who was working hard to find you.

He made his way to his x-wing, though he didn’t remember getting there. He was holding his flight suit, and some part of him was aware that he had to put it on if he wanted to fly.

“Poe.” The voice was familiar behind him.

Turning, he saw Leia standing behind him, a look of pity on her face. “Droids have tracked the lieutenant through the forest where she was joined by two others, identity unknown as of yet.”

Poe nodded. Numbness was spreading through him, he could hardly move, the idea of speaking was laughable.

“There were signs of a struggle, but we’ll find her Poe.”

What if she doesn’t want to come back? She’s not my friend.

“Poe.” There was a hand on his shoulder. It takes a great deal of effort for him to focus on Leia in front of him. Her hand was touching him, and it felt so familiar to yours, and yet so different, in almost every way that felt like it mattered. “It’ll be ok.”  

“I’ve got to go.” He was going to get you back, hell or high water.

In fact, it didn't even matter if you didn’t want to come back with him.

Poe shakes his head, “We’re not friends!” still ringing in his mind.

You were going to come back to the base if Poe had to drag you, if only so he could have a proper conversation with you before you left for good.

He hadn’t even realised he’d been flirting with the recruit until you’d turned up, and then suddenly you’d commanded his whole world view. How competent and confident you’d looked, hitting the target with each of your shots, before he’d come to the conclusion that you were jealous.

By that point, you’d already stalked away, shoulders tight with a scowl on your face. He had been able to see your lie, that you really were jealous, as soon as the words had left your mouth, your denial too strong, too protective.  

But why? Why didn’t you want him to know you were jealous? As far as Poe was concerned, it was kind of hot.

You couldn’t run away, or die before Poe got the answers.

You couldn’t. He wouldn’t allow it.

He stooped to pull the flight suit on, shrugging off Leia’s hand.

“Poe I’m not letting you chase after her.”

Poe ignored her, instead bending slightly and concentrating on doing up the buttons and various zips.

“Poe listen!”

General Organa was speaking now, not Leia, and it made Poe stop, straightening automatically.

“I am not giving you permission to leave base. Rey and Finn have already left.”

Poe steps towards Leia, and stars he feels angry.

“I am the best flyer in the resistance and you’re grounding me?”

He ignores the way his head spins when he remembers the look on your face that night you’d told him he was the best flyer, how you’d said his mum would be proud of him, how-

He shakes his head, not wanting the memory right now, blinking hard as tears well in his eyes.

“Yes.” His fingers flex at his side at Leia’s calmness.

“Why not?” He doesn’t want to snap at Leia but he had to get you back. He was going to murder those bastards who took you … if they had hurt you … “I can’t lose her, Leia, I can’t.”

“You’re not in the right headspace right now, and I can’t risk-”

Poe laughs, cutting Leia off and it’s not nice. It’s a little loose and a little mad, louder than it needs to be. “You can’t risk what? Losing me?” He bends again, this time tightening the harness straps around his legs and they’re tight, too tight. “I can’t risk losing her, Leia.” He takes a deep breath, shaking fingers attempting to loosen the straps, attempting to take back control. “I c-an’t.”

Leia’s heart broke as Poe’s voice cracked. For the first time in a long time, she saw the young boy who had come to the Resistance as soon as he was able, desperate to prove himself and throw himself into the middle of the fight.

So she steps forwards and hugs him. “I know, I know.” Leia can feel Poe trembling.  “But you charging off with half a brain isn’t going to fix anything.”

Poe allows himself to be held, head empty for a moment. He feels exhausted, yet every nerve within him is wired up to go, although he doesn’t know where. An indeterminate amount of time passes before Poe realises that Leia is probably doing all she can to stall him.

When this thought trickles down into his mind, he steps back. Perhaps because Leia can read him like a book, or perhaps because she really does want to help, she offers a small smile. “Come with me.”

Poe doesn’t have much chance to reply before Leia’s steering him by his elbow, keeping a tight grip on him. He’s led to comms, a room he’s aware of, but has never been in before.

Rose is sitting, hovering over a comm worker who Poe’s unfamiliar with. They’re sitting at a messy workstation with a number of small screens, a mess of wires cascading out of the back. The comms worker has an earphone in one ear, while the big centre screen is turned on, showing what appears to be Rey and Finn’s position.

There’s a pain in Poe’s chest as he looks at the other, empty, workstations. This is what you're worth to the Resistance. One comms worker and a friend.

Rose stands, flinging her arms around him. She’s talking, but there's a buzzing in Poe’s ears and he’s missing some. “... she’ll be alright.”

Rose has drawn back, and it’s like the bubble has popped around Poe, bringing him back to the present. He nods, suddenly aware of how hard Leia is still holding onto his arm, and briefly wondering if he’ll have bruises.

Poe picks up his own set of earphones and moves to power up the next screen over, clicking through to Rey’s comms, mind clearing as he and the comms worker start to talk through it.

After all, Poe’s always been good under pressure, blocking out all distractions, including Leia’s instructions to the droid by the door not to let Commander Dameron leave until the Lieutenant was back.

***

When you wake, you’re alone. The drug, whatever they gave you has worn off, and your headache has returned. You’re shaking, covered in sweat. When you try and make a fist with your good arm, you can barely apply enough pressure to close your hand.

You’re still strapped to the chair and unable to move your arms. When you glance down at your left arm, the blood makes your stomach turn. Everything seems sharper than it did before, more pronounced edges, yet the surfaces have lost their colour, looking duller.

Your mouth is dry and you know that if you could have some more of the drug, just a little, you’d feel better. But there are more pressing concerns; you need to get out of here.

Your feet are on the floor, good. Your head itches, and your ribs ache like you’ve been hit around the stomach. There’s something dried on your chin, irritating your skin, tightening it.

It’s hard to think, it’s so cold in here, like the ice is numbing your brain. Your headache is pounding behind your eyes and doesn’t help. But you try to stand, thinking you’ll attempt a turtle-like shuffle to the door.

Except you can’t.

You try again, bracing your feet against the floor and trying to stand. It takes you longer than it should to realise that it’s not working because you’re pressing down with your arms too.

You slump back into the chair with enough force to cause it to move, trying to catch your strength, panting heavily and not sure what else to do.

It takes you longer than it should for you to realise what that means, the thought barely trickling down into your mind.

Ok.

With a lot of careful angling and heavy slumps, you manage to twist the chair so it’s facing the door. It’s made of the same material as the walls, barely distinguishable apart from a keypad and metal grille.

Which Rey and Finn are looking at you through.

You sigh. Great. That’s what you need right now, more hallucinations. They look shocked, faces slack, until Rey disappears and Finn smiles reassuringly at you.

Briefly you wonder if Rey’s gone because her head fell off again. Then you consider if your hallucinations can get any weirder.

The next thing you know the door is swinging open, creaking slightly on its hinges and Finn’s rushing over to you, Rey poking around behind you.

“Can you stand?” Finn’s asking, looking down at you, brow furrowed. You can only nod in response, although you’re not confident in your answer. Your limbs are stiff, and even now you can move, it’s a struggle.

There’s a brief pain flickering in your left arm, and you focus on not looking at it, remembering the amount of blood. It takes Finn’s arm around you to help you stand, and you can’t help the gasp of pain that escapes you. Your vision goes dark for a second, before returning, duller than ever.

***

Finn knew what the First Order was capable of, especially when they wanted information from someone, but it was never any easier to see. Especially when it was someone he cared about.

He watched you struggle to coordinate your legs, having been kept in the same position for hours. Rey moves ahead, drawing her lightsaber in anticipation while Finn half carries you down the hallway.

He’s worried at the amount of blood you’ve lost from your arm, but your face is swollen and bruised, with dried blood at the corner of your mouth, and staining the collar of your shirt. You’re still conscious, just about, but your eyes don’t seem to be focusing.

The three of you pass the bodies of the two stormtroopers who were unlucky enough to be guarding your corridor, before sneaking out. Ducking into alcoves, they attempt not to be caught, although it’s hard to stop you from making noise.

If it’s not moans of pain, you’re commenting on something under your breath, and what little Finn can hear doesn’t seem to make sense. The look on Rey’s face tells him that she doesn’t get it either.  

And they’re so close, nearly back to the hangar, when a pair of troopers spot them. Rey is already swinging as Finn rushes to put you down before he can draw his lightsaber and help. The fight is desperate, but brief. Thankfully no alarms seem to be going off, although that thought flies from Finn’s head when he looks back at you.

You’ve slumped against the wall where Finn had placed you, and you’re shaking as you try and stay sat upright. You’re no longer looking at them, instead your brow is furrowed, concentrating on something only you can see in front of you.

Finn isn’t entirely sure how they managed to make it onboard, but he wasn’t about to complain, carefully strapping you to help keep you upright if you faint. He uses the small med-kit to wipe away the blood from your face and arm as best as he can, applying bacta patches where he can see injuries, the familiar sweet smell soon filling the small ship.

Rey is quickly in hyperspace, comming back to base with their status. “Blue-10 with the Lieutenant, medical attention will be needed on arrival.”

Both Rey and Finn jolt with surprise at the familiar voice crackling through the comms in response. “Received and understood Blue-10.”

“Poe?” Finn mouths, and Rey just shrugs. A second later, Poe’s switched to a private channel, his voice quiet.

“How is she?”

Rey and Finn look at each other, unsure how much Poe needs to know. They don’t want to lie, but how can they tell the truth? Rey clicks the private channel open, hesitating before she replies. “She’s stable Poe.”

***

Waking up hurts.

You’re lying down, and although your body hurts, you feel calmer. There’s a steady noise matching the beat of your heart, slow and steady, although the noise speeds up as you blink at the ceiling.  

You’re not sure if you’ve got a plan, but you know you need to get free. Something is holding you down, becoming more and more tangled around you, and your whole body hurts.

And then, suddenly the weight is pulled off you, and you feel like you can breathe again, big gasps failing to get more oxygen into your lungs. You struggle to control your breathing, not feeling ready to face whatever new terror the First Order have concocted for you.

It’s Rose. Holding a brown blanket.

You push yourself into a sitting position, ignoring the flare of pain in your arm, waiting for a second, hardly daring to breathe as you wait for her to change in front of your eyes.

When she doesn’t, you can feel some of the panic recede, although you can’t seem to force yourself to relax. Rose folds the blanket, placing it at the foot of your bed, and you watch her carefully, still wary.

When she meets your eyes, you attempt a smile, pain pulling at your mouth and cheek as you do so. You can tell it’s not convincing by the way she smiles back, tears flooding her eyes.

You look away, blinking heavily to stop your own tears.

Your head and shoulders are raised slightly, and when you look down, you’re wearing a paper-thin hospital gown. It’s scratchy against your skin, feeling like bugs burrowing into you. Rose is sitting next to you, tinkering with something she’s placed on your bedside table, hands hovering just above her lap, like she wants to help, but doesn’t want to overstep.

“Hey.” Her voice is soft. “How are you feeling?”

You nod, not sure what you’re feeling, exactly, just that your hands are shaking when you try and put them on top of the covers, that you’re shivering, and your stomach is rolling.

You open your mouth to tell Rose so, and you throw up.

It’s warm, and liquidy and the smell makes you throw up again, and again. Rose has jumped back, and you don’t blame her, rolling your body to your side so you can spit the rising bile out of your mouth onto the floor instead of onto the mess on your bed.

By the time you’ve stopped being sick, Rose is standing at the end of your bed with a pair of nurse-droids, who escort you to a bath, cleaning you up, and then to a different bed, this time with a bowl in reaching distance. You don’t say anything, hot shame creeping up your neck and face, and hoping, praying, that maybe you’ll pass out again, and you won’t remember this.

No such thing happens, and you’re left to be looked after by the droids. Rose never leaves you, although for the period of time you’re covered in sick, she does keep her distance, only returning when you’re clean in bed again, this time wearing a softer t-shirt and shorts.

It’s only when one of the nurse-droid’s returns, arms full that you notice it. It’s carrying a vase of flowers, which Rose later tells you is from your squadron, and, in it’s other hand, carries a familiar datapad, with a piece of paper on top and a chocolate pudding.

Poe’s been here?

You can’t stop the way your heart stutters in your chest at the thought, and although you want to smell the chocolate, you think that’s probably a good thing you can’t with the state of your stomach at the moment.

The nurse-droid hooks you up to various machines this time, inserting a drip into your non-injured arm, along with a heart monitor, and a couple of other machines you don’t know the purpose of.

Your head still hurts, and you’re shaking, but you try your best to listen to the doctor who checks your vitals are normal and tells you that you’re going to get worse before you get better. The drug they gave you is an addictive one, and the next 5 days are going to hurt.

She keeps telling you things, but you start to zone out as black spots appear in your vision. Rose is nodding in understanding at your side, so you don’t feel too bad, concentrating on just staying awake.

All you can think about is the drug and how light it made you feel, how quickly it made time pass. Every movement hurts, like you fell 50 foot out of an x-wing, but aside from your arm, you can’t see any physical damage.

You fall in and out of sleep, Rose a constant presence at your side. She’s tinkering with something the first few times you wake, and she explains what it is, and what’s wrong with it to distract you from the pain. You ask the occasional question, enjoying the steady sound of her voice, while yours is croaky and hoarse.

When you wake with a clearer head, the lights are dimmed to a soft yellow, and Poe is asleep, head resting on the foot of your bed. Rose is gone and you’re glad; you don’t know how long you’ve been in bed, and you hope she’s getting some rest or proper food.

His flight suit is wrapped around his waist, top half covered by a dark t-shirt. If you bend your head to a certain angle, the light catches on his necklace around his neck. Poe looks exhausted, his body twisted at a weird angle, thick stubble growing on his face, and eyes red-rimmed, even as he sleeps.

Trying not to jostle him, you reach out to the datapad and unfold the note Poe left on top, avoiding the chocolate pudding like the plague.

Enjoy the chocolate pudding, Finn is bullying me to get some rest.

I’ve downloaded a couple of holovids, see you soon Poe x

You’ve never seen his handwriting before, and it’s easier to read than you’d imagined, thinking he’d be the type to write in a messy scrawl, his hand unable to keep up with his thoughts.

It’s short, but something about it makes a warmth flare inside you. You read it until you know it off by heart, before folding it back up and placing it on the datapad.

You still feel tired, and you watch Poe sleep, the room silent except for the steady beeping of the machines at your side. You’re not sure how much time passes, the world around your bed feeling hazy as you half doze, not wanting to tear your eyes away from Poe, hardly daring to believe he’s real.

You jolt awake when he does, his arm reaching across your legs as he grasps your calves in a panic. One of the machines beeps increases with your heart rate, but you ignore it, you and Poe staring at each other, wide-eyed, as though a quick movement will make the other bolt.

His hands are still holding your legs, warm and grounding.

“How are you feeling?” His voice is hoarse as he slowly releases his hands.

You nod, and you hadn’t noticed it before, but your neck is stiff. “Good, I guess.”

Poe nods too, and where did this tension come from? He takes a breath as you look down at the hem of your blanket, idly wondering why the medbay would buy such a horrendous shade of brown.

Maybe it’s to hide stains.

You immediately wish you hadn’t thought that, the implications freaking you out a little, upsetting your sensitive stomach.

“I … I wanted to apologise.” Poe’s voice thankfully breaks through your increasingly worrying train of thought. His hand fly’s up to touch his ring. “I clearly crossed a boundary - I thought we were friends and -”

You interrupt him when you throw up, thankfully into the bowl the nurse-droid left this time, but it’s no less embarrassing as bile stings the back of your throat. Poe immediately moves up closer to you, hand reaching to rub your back as you try and hide in vain from him.

His hand is warm and comforting, moving slowly up and down your back as you continue to heave. When you finish retching, Poe silently hands you a glass of water, which you use to swill your mouth out, moving to place the now semi-full bowl to the other side of you when Poe takes it from you.

You can hardly bear to look at it, let alone smell it, and Poe is carrying it like it’s nothing, taking for the nurse-droids to dispose of. When he returns, he’s wiping his hands with a disinfectant and you wince.

“Poe I’m so sorry.” You decide to risk a sip of water, trying to get rid of the sick taste still in your mouth. “I’ve been sick all day and I’m sorry.” You’re ready to keep apologising but Poe just hands you a towel, which you use to wipe your mouth.

“It’s ok.” He reaches down for the blanket, and you let him tuck you in, suddenly aware that you’re shivering again. He reaches for his datapad, opening it and beginning to talk. He’s reading a children’s story, one you recognise as being from Yavin IV, a sweet story about a frog learning of the perils of the jungle.

Your eyes get heavier, and Poe’s voice fades into the background, the last you hear is the frog swimming in freshwater, unaware of the danger around the corner before you fall asleep.

***

When you wake, he’s gone, but you don’t get much chance to think about it before the nurse-droids are back, along with the doctor. She’s a nice woman, chattering away, telling you her name (Dr Alloso Karga), about her children (she’s got lots), and the trouble they get into (almost constant).

You don’t say much, still feeling the after-effects of the drug, but Dr Karga doesn't seem to need much additional input. You’re glad of her stories, they give you something else to think about while she hooks you up to an IV drip, and takes measurements from all the machines beeping at your side.

She unwraps the bandage around your left arm, revealing a thin scar running alongside one of your veins. “I’ll give you a cream to rub on every morning and night, and it’ll fade.” Her voice is kind as she watches your face, but you don’t react, numbness spreading through you like ice as you look at the scar.

All you can think is how small it is, when you remember the pain it caused, and the blood you lost from it … and now you’re left with this tiny, almost pathetic scratch. Dr Karga places the cream on your side table, next to Poe’s datapad and his note, and you already know you won’t use it.

Thankfully she doesn’t push the topic, leaving soon after.

With not a lot else to do, you fall back asleep, despite the bright light shining in through the window opposite you.

Days pass like this. Rose and Poe are frequent visitors, with Rey and Finn dropping in occasionally, as does Kare, and Jannah. No one seems to expect much of you, which is nice, allowing you to fall asleep at random intervals when the mood strikes you.

***

When you wake again you’re not sure how many days you’ve been in the medbay for. You don’t feel sick at all anymore, your stomach’s rumbling beneath the covers. Your head still hurts, and your body still feels bruised and achy, but your mind feels clearer than it has in days.

You’re still hooked up to a couple of machines, but only by a clip to your finger, wires extending down past the edge of your bed. It’s easy to take off, and you figure it’ll be easy to put back on again.

The chocolate pudding left by Poe has disappeared, and you suspect one of the nurses has binned it, which was probably a good idea. Swinging your legs over the side of the bed, you pause when a rush of cool air hits your bare legs.

You pad barefoot over the cold medbay floor, praying that it’s clean. There’s no one else in any of the other beds in your room, and when you look out, there doesn’t seem to be anyone next door either. A couple of hundred meters to your left, through the glass in a pair of double doors, you can see the busy reception. Meanwhile, to your right the corridor extends.

You shiver a little. You’re not wearing much, just shorts and a thin t-shirt. With no one around, you don’t feel too exposed, but you would quite like to get back to bed. You choose to go right, figuring you’d quite like to eat alone and save yourself any embarrassment if your stomach decides to reject food again and wander casually in quiet curiosity.

You peek through the windows of various spare rooms, some with people in bacta tubes, others with droids chittering away. And, it’s only when you turn the corner, that you see the food sign over the door to a small storeroom.

Letting out a happy little sigh at all the food lining the wall, you fumble for the light switch, the door closing and quickly engulfing you in the darkness.

Moving forwards you aim for the chocolate which has immediately caught your eye, letting out a shriek of panic when a hand lands on your shoulder.

Twisting around in panic, your bare foot catches on the corner of a shelf and you let out a howl of pain. You’re falling, and you’re gonna land on your injured arm when the stranger’s hands grab hold of your shoulders, righting you enough that you can catch yourself.

Muttering breathless ow’s of pain, you look up to see none other than Poe in front of you, his lips twisted in amusement.

“You alright?” He asks.

You can only nod, and before you feel any doubt about what you want to do, you fling your arms around his neck and hug him. He’s so sturdy, and here, and you finally feel semi-normal, and all you want is to be grounded.

Poe doesn’t say anything, just lets out a long-suffering sigh, wrapping his arms around you in response. It’s not until you feel his chest catch on a breath, that you unwind slightly, pulling back so you can see him.

He’s crying.

“Poe, Poe, it’s ok.” You wrap him back in your arms and let him cry. He just holds you tight, like he can’t believe you’re really here standing in front of him. Both too soon, and too late, he pulls back, wiping at his eyes.

“Why are you in here?”

It’s a genuine question, but you marvel at him for a second. “Why are you in here?”

Poe looks like he would quite like to say something he thinks is funny, but eventually lands on on a serious response. “I wanted to see what you were up to. You looked very shady.”

“Oh.” You shrug. “I woke up, and I was starving.”

Poe stands next to you as you grab whatever looks good off the shelves, mainly chocolate, but also juice, and some sandwiches. “You should look after yourself.” His voice is gentle.

“I am!” You protest. “I need to eat.”

“You couldn’t have asked for help?”

You raise an eyebrow at him as the two of you move to the door. Poe follows you as you try to explain yourself. “No, I-”

You stop talking as you open the door by a crack, your eyes widening. Rose is stood in the room opposite, slightly blurred from the glass door, running her hand up and down Jannah’s arm, while the other is in a sling.

You gasp as you watch Rose lean forwards, placing a kiss on her lips, hushing Poe behind you. “Poe, Poe, Poe, look at this, are you watching?”

Your whisper is loud and you grin, bouncing on the balls of your feet, momentarily forgetting your aches, before quickly closing the door as Rose and Jannah move closer to kiss. You don’t want to invade their privacy too much.

When you turn, Poe’s grin grows as he takes in your face. “I knew it!” You dump the contents of your arms onto the floor, settling in for a while. “I knew they liked each other!”

He’s managed to get his leather jacket back from Finn, and he takes it off, laying it on the floor for you to sit on. You tuck your feet under you, glad to get them off the cold floor.

The two of you eat together, and you gain confidence as more time passes and your stomach seems to have settled, branching out to more flavourful foods.

Afterwards, he walks you back to your bed, carrying some spare food for you, with his leather jacket hanging off your shoulders. Poe calls a nurse-droid over to hook you back up to your machines and you pout at him in complaint. You’re starting to shake and sweat again but Poe stays for as long as he can, until he has to go to a meeting, promising he’ll be back soon.

He’s not gone for long, and you’re just starting to get bored, when Rose pokes her head around the door.

“Where have you been?”

You can’t help yourself; you grin like a cheshire cat.

“Where have I been? I think I should be asking you that!”

And there’s a definite blush rising on Rose’s neck, tinting her cheeks a faint pink. She still tries to deny though. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” you draw it out, “I just so happened to be walking around earlier and was surprised to see that Jannah had managed to injure herself.”

Rose sighs and it’s long-suffering. And then she slumps into her chair, opens her mouth and tells you everything.

How she and Jannah had started to spend more time together, but they’d been friends for so long. How hugs for comfort turned into something more. How they’d kissed for the first time when Jannah had asked her out. And now, how it was turning into something more and, Rose’s voice went quiet here, she thought she might be in love.

“Oh Rose,” you sigh, your heart filling for your friend. “Are you gonna tell her?”

When she nods, it takes all your self-control not to jump up and hug her, instead settling for clasping her hands in yours. “I’m sorry.” Rose whispers. “Will you forgive me?”

Your heart stops, brief panic flickering in you. “What for?”

“That I didn’t tell you sooner.” A heavy sense of guilt starts to weigh down your chest, especially as Rose looks so distraught.

“No! It’s fine,” you try and convince her. “You wanted to wait until you were sure.”

Rose nods, but still looks upset, and you know what will cheer her up. “Besides, I'm not going to be cross. I kissed Poe.”

You wince at Rose’s shout. “What!” She stands, bending to give you a hug, and you breathe in the familiar scent of her shampoo. You grin, much more naturally now, glad she’s happy. You tell her everything in much the same way she told you, the first time you’d slept together, and then the next time, how you’d argued, what had happened in the store cupboard.

“Is he coming back?” Rose asks.

You shrug. “I don’t know. He said he would, but I don’t know when.”

Rose settles properly into her chair, resting her feet on the edge of your bed frame, looking smug. You last all of two seconds. “What?”

Rose just closes her eyes, looking more and more pleased with herself by the second. “I just love being right.”

You attempt to kick her, but there’s no malice behind it. You spend the rest of the time discussing the latest topic of interest on base (Snap and Kare’s wedding), and what a recruit had apparently said to Leia, laughing the whole time.

***

When Poe returns, he’s carrying two plates. Rose had left a while ago, and you were idly poking through Poe’s datapad, seeing which holovids he’d downloaded.

The two of you eat your dinner quietly, Poe finishing before you. “Can I ask you something?” He looks nervous in a way that you’re not sure you’ve ever seen on him before, eyes shifting down, while his fingers dance nervously in his lap.

You nod, still chewing, not wanting to rush your dinner and unsure how to make Poe feel more at ease. You have a feeling you know what he’s going to ask, and -

“Can we be friends?”

Oh.

You swallow faster than you should, letting out a small cough. You place what’s left of your dinner to one side, and put your hands over his. “I shouldn’t have said that.” You start.

Poe opens his mouth to respond, but you shake your head before he can. “No, don’t - don’t say anything, just listen.”

Deep breath, in and out.

“What I meant was … friends don’t sleep together, Poe. And I know we never talked about it, but I didn’t realise how much I liked you and,” You take another deep breath and when you speak again, your voice is smaller than normal. “I didn’t like the way you flirted with that recruit.”

Poe grins with his teeth. “So you were jealous?”

You look away, not quite ready for that conversation. “Poe.” His name is a warning, and you’re tired.

So Poe lifts your hands, enveloping them in his and gently kisses them. “Sorry.” It’s a murmur. “When we realised you were gone, I’ve … I’ve never been so frightened. I begged Leia to go and find you but she wouldn’t let me.”

You look back at his face. “Good.” His smile is gentle now, and at this moment, you prefer it. “And I’m fine now, Rey and Finn found me …”

Poe rolls his eyes. “You are not fine, you’re in the medbay.”

He doesn’t say anything for a beat, fiddling with the hem of your sheet, and just when you think he won’t say anything else, he speaks again, his voice quiet and sure.

“I like you too. A lot. And I would quite like it if we could go on a date?”

You don’t reply immediately, letting a slow smile open up your face, nodding, suddenly shy. You want Poe closer, moving to the far edge of the bed and opening the sheet in a clear invitation. “C’mon, get up here.”

It says a lot, you later think, how keen he was to climb in next to you. His body is so warm and reassuring next to yours, a solid presence of real proof, that someone cares about you so much that it doesn’t matter how gross you are when you’re ill, they’ll stay for as long as they can.

You wait until he’s tucked in next to you, desperately ignoring how the machine behind you starts beeping faster. “I would love to go on a date.”

And then you groan. “This is so embarrassing.”

Poe laughs, his body shaking next to you. “You have to finally admit you fancied me all along.”

“Well so do you.”

You’re looking at Poe as you say it, and you don’t miss how his breath hitches a little. His face moves closer to yours, and your tongue darts out to wet your lips as your mouth suddenly feels dry.

Your heart rate speeds up again behind you, but you’re ignoring it, wanting Poe to kiss you. You’re disappointed when he speaks instead. “I like this monitor.”

His eyes are smiling, and stars he’s cute, even if he is being annoying.  

“What?” You’re confused, your eyes had been half-closed in preparation, and it takes a lot of effort to open them again.

“It tells me what you think.” You don’t stop looking at Poe’s lips as he talks.

“Yeah?” You’re breathless. “And what am I thinking right now?”

“That you like me this close.”

You hum, half-amused, half-annoyed. “Anything else?”

“I think you want to kiss me.”

You pretend to think about it, smiling back at him. “Do you?”

“Yes.” He’s so keen. “Do you?”

“I thought you knew the answer to that.” You’re teasing him, and he knows it. Your faces are closer than ever, breath mingling.

And Poe’s just looking at you like he could eat you, and it takes mere seconds before you crack. “Poe will you kiss me?”

“I was going to.”

You huff. “When?”

His hand cradles your jaw, thumb on your chin, and you bend into it, kissing his palm without breaking eye contact. “It won’t hurt you?”

You smile at him, reassured. “No.”

You can tell he’s still hesitant, so you kiss his hand again. “I’ll tell you if it hurts Poe.”

He inches closer and closer, so slowly, until his lips are touching yours. It’s soft, and gentle, like he’s kissing you for the first time. His hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you closer to him, as you open your mouth, deepening the kiss.

The date is a success, with the worst part enduring Rose’s teasing, and your promise to never doubt her again.

***

Everything taglist:

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Series taglist

@lady-sigyn @foxilayde @afootnoteinyourhappiness @tellthemall-i-saidhi @wasicskosgirl @seninjakitey @zoriis @zazzysseoul @studentville-struggles

Thanks for reading! Reblog and comments mean the world to me 🥰🥰🥰

Aaaaah I’ve finally finished! This has been such a blast to write (but not chapter 5 lmao) and I’ve learned so much about my writing style and what i struggle with (plot I’m looking at you). This series started as a short one-shot which was going to be divided into 4 sections, detailing how reader and Poe’s relationship changed, and what I’ve ended up with is so so so different - my original outline had no kidnapping and was wildly different honestly, but I’m really proud of this - back in June/July i hardly had the patience/concentration to sit and finish a one-shot, let alone a whole series! Thank you to everyone who stuck with this story, I love you all!

[ilovefandoms102]

Forever

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

Summary: How it all began, and where it went wrong...

Note: I wrote this once a while ago at the very beginning of my blog and got no likes on it so I’m reposting since now I have a larger fanbase so I hope you guys enjoy!

Click here if you want to be apart of my taglist!

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I come from the planet Tattooine, the place where Ben's uncle, and his grandfather grew up. My parents abandoned me when I was 15 when I started showing my powers, they feared I was a danger to them. Luke found me and raised me as his own, the Jedi ways engraved into my brain. 

Then I met Ben, we clicked instantly becoming inseparable from that moment on. I knew it was wrong, that the Jedi weren't meant to fall in love. Luke had warned me that my infatuation needed to end because Ben wasn't the man I thought he was, that he would go dark. I had felt the disturbance in the Force from him as well, but I couldn't leave him.

Ben Solo is the love of my life, I say is because I know he is still here. He is not dead inside of Kylo Ren like so many people believe. I was there the night the temple was destroyed......what is so sinister about it is that the temple was destroyed the night of our wedding. It was a secret wedding, we had to sneak away to have the ceremony. We were promised to each other for better or for worse, but I don't think your husband killing your Jedi classmates is what they meant by worse...

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6 Years earlier:

"Ben...wha-what did you do?" I asked, looking at my husband. He had a murderous expression on his face that scared me.

"He tried to kill me..." he said, gripping his saber tighter.

"Who? Honey, what's going on?" I asked again, putting my hands to his cheeks.

"Luke," was all he said, tears welling in his eyes.

"Ben..." I whispered.

"Ben is gone." he said, pushing my hands away.

"What?" I asked, taking a step back from him. My heart crushing as I knew what this meant, he was turning to the dark side.

"My name is Kylo Ren now. The Supreme Leader has called to me because he knows how to train me to my full potential." he explained, as if we weren't surrounded by our dead classmates and a burning temple.

"This is not the Jedi way Ben, what are you thinking?!" I shouted at him.

"It wasn't the Jedi way for us to fall in love, yet here we are." he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"People of the dark side cannot show love Ben. How can you sit there and claim to love me, but are choosing this path?" I asked, keeping a grip on my light saber in case things went south.

"The Supreme Leader is willing to work with our...circumstances." he revealed, turning to walk towards a ship that wasn't there before.

"Ben stop!" I yelled, running after him.

"Do you love me?" he asked, catching my arm in a tight grip.

"What kind of question is that I married your dumb ass!" I said, shoving him off me.

"Y/n/n," he whispered.

"Ben...I can't." I whimpered.

"Come with me and we can rule the galaxy!" he said, smiling but it was not the smile of my Ben.

"I-" I started, Ben interrupting me.

"Y/n/n, you are my life. I love you more than anything in this galaxy, I need you by my side baby...please." he said, leaning his forehead on mine.

"Forever?" I asked. We used that as a way to reassure the other that we would always love one another, forever.

"Forever my love." he said, leaning down to kiss me.

=====================================

Present:

I was in the private gym Kylo had made sure all the officers on the First Order knew was only for me. I somehow got away with not being trained by Snoke and continued my Jedi training, using books I stole from the Temple. I was meditating when I felt my husbands presence. I continued with my training as he watched me from the other side of the room.

"You're so beautiful my darling" he said, that stupid mask of his altering his real voice. I'd love to pitch that thing into space, he knows I hate it too.

"You know I don't respond when you have that thing on Ben." I said coldly.

I heard the click and hiss of the mask being taken off as I lowered myself, turning to face him. I was only allowed to use Ben when we were alone, in the eye of the First Order we were Mr. and Mrs. Kylo Ren. I hated it so much, I was currently in the works of becoming a double agent for the Resistance, using the ways of the force to reach out to Leia.

 It hurt me more than anything to go against my husband, the one I'm supposed to stand with above all, but with the construction of the second Death Star coming to an end and knowing what they are using it for....I can't stay on this ship any longer.

Ben came closer to me, I had to tip my head further back the closer he got. My head barely reached his chest, he took his glove off so he could run his fingers through my hair. I lifted my eyes to meet his dark brown ones. I got on my tip toes and kissed him, this is what I would miss the most, the intimate moments we got to have with each other...when he acted like Ben and not Kylo. 

He moaned into my mouth, gripping the hair at my scalp to pull me closer. His other arm wrapped around my waist as he lifted me the few feet between our heights so he wouldn't have to bend his neck as far. I sifted my fingers in his black hair, using my other to grab his cheek. I pulled away first, my chest rising erratically from the lack of oxygen.

"I have a mission I'm leading, I'll be leaving in a few days. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone...I don't want to leave you." he spoke softly, leaning his cheek on mine. I hugged him tight, heartbroken that he would be leaving so soon.

"What will you be doing?" I asked, but I really didn't want to know. He sensed that as he narrowed his eyes at me, our Force bond tingling my mind as he was trying to read it. 

"Ben, quit trying to read my mind!" I yelled, slapping his arm.

"I'm sorry baby, but I was curious to know if you actually wanted to know...or if you were just trying to entertain me." he smiled, kissing my nose as he put me back on the ground.

We made our way to our quarters, Kylo now replacing my Ben. I hardly ever acknowledged anyone around us unless I was spoken to directly. I didn't ever go out of my way to speak to anyone either. If I had a question, I'd use my Jedi powers to read their mind or force them to tell me.

"Commander Ren, Lady Ren, How lovely to see you all on this fine afternoon." General Hux greeted as he came around a corner. 

I continued to walk until I felt a pull from the force, Ben stopping me in my place to talk to Hux. I gave him a death stare, he knows I don't like socializing with his people.

"What can I do for you General?" I asked, annoyed with Ben-Kylo’s insistance that I speak with Hux.

"I was hoping I could trouble you both for a meeting-" he started, but I was quick to interupt.

"No, I'm quite tired and wish to rest. You can have my husband though General." I said as I fought Ben's force, breaking free of it and walking into our room.

=====================================

Kylo's POV:

I stared as my wife walked into our quarters, rage of her disobedience burning inside me. I let her know through our Force bond that I was not happy with her, thankful the mask hid my feelings from General Hux. I turned back to look at the General, his presence annoying what I was hoping to be a enjoyable evening.

"What do you need General?" I asked again.

"I think we should take this to my office, away from prying ears." he said ,quietly. We arrived at his office, him sitting at his chair while I stood by the open window.

"We have received word that there might be a double agent roaming the ship..." Hux said, his eyes drifting down.

"This is what you had to disturb my evening with the Lady for?" I seethed, keeping my fists clenched at my sides.

"Commander, the rumors are claiming that the Lady is the double agent. That's why I thought we would speak here." the General looked at me with a terrified look on his face, as he should.

"How dare you!" I shouted, using the Force the choke this son of a bitch.

"Sir, please! I just wanted you to know before you heard from someone else!" Hux choked out.

I stormed out of the office, pushing past officers and troopers. I walked into my quarters, spotting Y/n in the kitchen. My anger started dissipating, her presence not only in the room, but through our bond calmed me. I forgot about being angry with her, I walked into our room and changed into comfier clothes.

=====================================

Y/n’s POV:

I felt Ben's presence behind me, but I ignored him to finish dinner. He was angry, but I couldn't tell why. He walked off as I could feel his anger disappearing. I turned off the stove and cleaned the dishes as dinner cooled down, I could hear Ben in our bedroom. I walked in to him taking his amour off, I couldn't help but stare. He was so beautiful and I felt so lucky to call this man mine despite his faults.

"See something you like baby?" He asked, his deep voice igniting a feeling in my lower regions.

"I think I'd like it better if you weren't facing away from me love," I teased, smiling at him.

He finished taking his clothes off, leaving him in just his black silk pants. He ran a hand through his hair as he turned to face me, I could feel him trying to rack my brain for what I was thinking. I let him in to see what I was thinking at that moment....How beautiful he was, how I loved him with my entire soul, and that I would be lost without him.

"Your thoughts are deep tonight my love, what's wrong?" he asked, putting his arms around my waist.

"I just...I don't like you going on solo missions...I don't like us being apart from each other." I confessed, putting my hands on his bare chest.

"Snoke wouldn't put me out there if he didn't think I could handle myself sweetheart. You above anyone should know I am very capable in battle." he said, squeezing me. I didn't like when he talked about Snoke, I rolled my eyes at the thought of that creature.

"Can't I come with you? We're better together than apart Benny." I whispered, hugging him. He laid his head on top of mine, sighing loudly.

"You really need to start calling me Kylo, you're going to slip in front of someone one day and The Supreme Leader will see me as still being drawn to the light." he muttered.

"You don't fool me Solo, I know there is still light in you." I said, not liking where the conversation was going.

Ben pulled away from me, stalking to the kitchen. He was slamming stuff around by the time I got in there, preparing himself a plate very angrily. I wish I had kept my mouth shut, the good mood we had going was ruined by my big mouth.

"Honey," I whispered, slowly walking closer to him.

"Don't y/n" he growled, I knew I was in deep shit when he used my full name.

I sighed, grabbing myself a plate. I sat beside him at our very large dining room table that we didn't need since we never had guests over, neither one of us the most social beings. We ate in very awkward silence, I was the first to finish. 

I cleaned up the kitchen, putting away leftovers then heading for the bathroom. I started up the huge shower we had installed, getting the water to the perfect temperature before stripping and stepping in.

I was in the middle of rinsing my conditioner out when I heard the door open, the door was glass so I could see that it was Ben. He stripped him self before joining me in the shower, we had another shower head installed for when we both were in the shower on opposite ends. 

He turned his on, wetting his hair. I couldn't help but stare at him, the way his arm muscles flexed when he ran his hands through his wet hair sometimes the veins popping out. I had to check to see if my mouth was hanging open. He walked over to me, I grew tense the closer he got.

"I'm sorry my love." he whispered, my heart melted.

"I'm sorry too." I said, looking down at my feet.

He grabbed the back of my head, forcing it to come up as he smashed his mouth to mine. I responded immediately, throwing my arms around his neck. Our tongues were in a battle for dominance, him winning of course. I let my hands roam over his body, feeling his muscles. I had to pull back to breathe, both of us panting hard.

"Forever?" he asked, staring into my eyes.

"Forever my love." I whispered.

=====================================

Taglist:

@aplaintart​ @coldlilheart​ @gracielou0518​ @thefandomplace​ @wollymalfoy​ @bibliophilewednesday @mxltifandoms06

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

General Hux x Female Reader

A/N: Continuation of my fic and I am 👀 in love with this! I want to write about Hux’s speech for reasons so enjoy the build up 😅

Warnings: Hux is annoyed, Ren is annoyed. Poe is in pain, mentions of torture and mind manipulation. Hux geeks out over Starkiller Base. Also follows a bit of TFA.

Word Count: 4842

Read part 4 on AO3 here.

He was in the office early, not being able to sleep had some perks. He stared at his datapad, he’d written out the order for a shuttle to take you back to Arkanis once they’d reached Coruscant, his finger hovered over the confirm button but he just couldn’t seem to do it. He knew how soul crushing being trapped on Arkanis could be, although your upbringing had been completely different to his it didn’t mean you were any less trapped. Men had so much more freedom in the society of Arkanis and he knew exactly what he’d be sending you back to. Why was he bothered? He trailed a finger over his lips, his eyes never leaving the datapad as he sat back in his chair. He couldn’t ignore the feeling that arose in his chest every time he thought of you, the warmth that spread down to his toes when you looked at him. There was no denying Hux was conflicted when it came to you, he had never been in this situation before and he hated how he’d been caught up in the ridiculous romanticised notion that it could work with you here. His little daydream bubble had firmly burst. He knew he wanted you to stay in your quarters but then how was that any different to sending you home to be imprisoned again just in different chains. He leaned back in his chair, his bare hands rubbing his face when the door to his office flew open.

“Sir!”

“What is it Dopheld?”

“We are approaching Coruscant, Sir.” He needed to make this decision and quickly. Ren, with his band of not so merry men were about to rejoin the fleet and Hux knew you had already pulled the man child's attention. He was running out of time and he hated the feeling of losing control. Get it together! You witless worm….

“I assume Ren is ready?”

“He is being rather impatient.” Hux hummed in acknowledgement. It would be useful to have Ren shadowing him on the planet, he could make use of his talents.

“Tell him I need him to meet on the landing pad, only him. I don’t need the cretins.”

“Yes Sir!” Hux stood, he could make the decision about you later. He straightened his tunic and maneuvered his hands into his tight fitting gloves. He carefully ran a hand over his hair before stepping out onto the bridge to oversee the approach to Coruscant. This he could do, this is what he found relaxing.

Of course it all went smoothly and he marched to his shuttle with purposeful strides. He had a meeting to attend to with some of the other Generals from other ships, he hated the socialising but having Ren there meant he might be privy to some information he normally wouldn’t be. He was so caught up in his thoughts, his hands clasped firmly behind his back as he steeled himself for what was about to happen he didn’t see you until it was too late. He had to do a double take, you were walking towards his ship flanked by a pair of troopers and followed by Phasma. Hux’s heart rate increased as he noted the dress you were wearing, although similar in colour to the one on Arkanis it was a different style. The material flowed around your legs with each step, your shoes ringing out loudly on the polished floor. You walked with purpose, and a confidence that he could only admire.

“What is the meaning of this?” He questioned, his eyes flicking between you and Phasma.

“I am to accompany you, I know a few of the Generals you are meeting today. No doubt news of our nuptials have spread and my father would want me to make it known, especially in the Core worlds.” His mouth opened to reply but no words came out and you cocked an eyebrow in surprise. “Come on Phasma.” You sauntered up the ramp, Phasma dutifully following and Hux had no doubt she was smirking behind that shiny helmet. He nodded before following, not enjoying this flustered feeling he had.

He desperately tried to ignore you, forcing himself to stare straight ahead so hard he could feel the warm blush in his cheeks. Thankfully the ride down to the surface was short and Hux exited first, his heart dropping slightly when he saw Ren waiting for him at the bottom of the ramp.

“Walk with me.” He snapped at the force user, but Kylo had seen you already. His mask looked at you for a moment before complying with Hux’s demand.

“You brought her.” He stated coolly from the mask.

“Not my choice I assure you.”

“She could prove useful.” Hux stopped abruptly, his gaze swinging to look at Kylo and he hoped the fury he felt right now was coming through in his expression.

“Whatever you want with her, it's not going to happen. She is my wife, not some spy or plaything for you to torment.” He started walking again when he heard your heels come up behind him, Kylo following silently along. “You know what to do,” mumurmed Hux just as the doors opened.

You held the smooth glass in your hand listening to General Pryde drone on about some new possible class of ship. He was an old friend of your fathers and it was the only reason you were still talking to him. Your gaze frequently swept the room, always falling on the stiff posture of General Hux. He looked so uncomfortable here and it became more apparent that socialising was not his strongest attribute.

“Please excuse me General,” you murmured with a smile, gently resting a hand on his arm.

“Yes of course,” he replied as you feathered your lashes at him before cutting across the room to Hux. There were a few other women here but none of them seemed interested in talking to you and that suited you fine, though maybe it had something to do with your silver shadow. Only the slight clank of her armour told you she was following you wherever you went. As you approached the small group Kylo’s helmet turned to your direction and you felt that sensation you’d experienced in your quarters. You lifted your chin feeling the tendrils withdraw when he felt the barriers now surrounding your mind. You had taken to the training and surpassed everything that had been asked of you in record time, purely through determination. Whether it was to protect yourself or please Hux you weren’t so sure.

You wanted to touch Hux, to place a hand on his arm but from what you’d managed to get out of Phasma touch was not something the General tolerated. You had accepted the information, realising that the few times you had been alone with your new husband there had been some sort of physical touch between you and it created a warm feeling in your heart. It’s what made you not want to give up on him.

The conversation ground to a halt at your arrival to the group, the men shifting slightly in your presence and you realised you’d interrupted something rather important.

“Forgive me gentlemen, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Nonsense! Join us! Maybe you could tell us some gossip about the General here,” a laugh went round the group as one of the other Generals nudged Hux with his elbow. You could see the embarrassment written all over his face and his ears flared with the blush that was creeping across his skin.

“Actually, I came to steal my husband for a moment if that’s alright?” Kylo tilted his head slightly as all the others nodded enthusiastically.

“Not too long mind, we have things to discuss.” You smiled brightly, leading Hux away to a quiet corner. Phasma stayed next to Kylo, the pair of them surveying the room, drawing glances and whispers from many people in the room.

“What do you want?” You tried not to act offended at his tone, you’d noticed when Hux felt uncomfortable he couldn’t control the way he came across. There was no denying you were apprehensive after what had transpired in his quarters with his anger and the threat of you being sent home.

“I thought you could use a moment to gather yourself,” you murmured. If you could get him through this maybe he’d let you stay on the Finalizer, if it meant you staying in your quarters then so be it. You’d take anything over going back to Arkanis and residing in that house alone. He didn’t reply, his eyes still not doing the honour of alighting on you but now wasn’t the time for an argument. “What has got them all in such a state?” You asked. “Such a gathering would only happen if something momentous was happening?”

“It’s about Starkiller.” You frowned. You’d never heard of such a project but then why would you? Hux looked around making sure no one was nearby before leaning slightly towards you. “I’ll explain more when we’re back on the ship. Now if you’ll excuse me…” you watched him walk back to the group, the man hadn’t relaxed at all and you debated spending the rest of the evening at his side. But that meant being near Kylo and you would rather not, the man may have a helmet on but you could feel his gaze on you and it made your skin crawl. You nodded at Phasma and she came over to take vigil at your side.

“Can you tell me anything I need to know?”

“I’m sure the General will fill you in when he’s ready,” she replied in her crisp voice.

“Damn it Phasma. He’s going to send me home if I don’t do something.”

“The request was never confirmed.” You turned to look at her shiny silver helmet, seeing your own expression of surprise reflected back at you. “He has been in his office all morning. He had plenty of time to put in the request for a ship to take you home.” This gave you hope, your heart skipping a beat as your gaze fell on him once more. How you wished you could get him to open up to you, he claimed he had. Telling you things he had never told anyone before but he was still encased in those barriers he surrounded himself with. You’d been told he doesn’t like being touched and yet your mind replayed his hands on your shoulders, his hands on your face as he kissed you. Your General was conflicted when it came to you it seemed. You took a sip of the bubbly drink in your glass, all you needed was time.

Hux was tired, being around so many people for so long, having to talk, not to mention coming face to face with a few who he had no good memories with. Seeing you talking to Pryde had made his blood run cold, the way you batted your eyelashes and touched his arm made Hux want to curl into a ball. He knew what Pryde was capable of, he had scars from that man, physical and mental. He closed his eyes for a moment to take a breath, he concentrated on you, the soft way you looked at him. The fall of your hair, the cut of your dress and how you just seemed to look radiant in whatever you wore. He felt some of the tension leave his shoulders and neck before looking back at his reflection. He hated the stubble that grew across his cheeks and chin, shaving was such a chore but he did appreciate the motions, the precise control he had over the blade as it slid over his skin. He splashed cold water on his face before grabbing a towel and drying his face and chest off. He ignored his reflection as he got dressed in his bedroom, he disliked his body very much. He hated seeing the scars that littered his pale skin, the worst were on his back and sides, long stripes of raised skin, the handiwork of his father and Pryde. They used to get drunk together, taking out their bad moods on him whenever they felt like it, although his father certainly didn’t need the help of alcohol to abuse his son.

Hux fastened up his uniform, finally turning to look in the mirror now he was covered, his hair flopped over his brow and he realised it needed cutting soon. The very idea made his heart race that someone else had to put their hands on him, someone holding a blade. He slicked it back but noticed the front raised slightly and he pursed his lips in displeasure, it was misbehaving already he was going to have it cut in the next couple of days. He did toy with the idea of Phasma doing it but she’d probably slice it all off with the announcement she’d done him a favour. He turned to grab his coat, he really did like this piece of his uniform, it made him stand out from the rest, and marked him as The General of his own organisation. As he exited his quarters his thoughts went to Starkiller, it was coming together and the reports said it would be ready in literally days. He couldn’t wait, this is what he’d been waiting for, the opportunity to do something noteworthy. What he had in mind would change the Galaxy forever and such a task would hopefully grant him the title of Grand Marshal. He would finally be able to exercise control over the Navy and the Army, he was already the youngest General seen in generations, why shouldn’t he set his sights higher. Ambition, determination, the sense of glory, these were the few things his father had bestowed upon him and he had used them fully to his advantage.

“Good Morning General.”

“Lieutenant,” he murmured in greeting as he walked onto the bridge, adjusting his gloves.

“Not much to report aside from Commander Ren has left on a personal mission.” Hux raised an eyebrow still adjusting his gloves to how he liked them.

“Pertaining to…?”

“The map.” Ah. Of course. Ren, letting his personal feelings get in the way yet again. The man really needed to learn to control himself, so hot headed and that is when mistakes were made. Hux clasped his hands behind his back, his ship was hanging in orbit above the planet Jakku and he already hated it. The pale surface hinted at heat and sand all the things Hux disliked. To be perfectly honest he hated being on the surface of any planet, he preferred to view them from above from the safety and cleanliness of his ship.

“Is he down there now?”

“He is. The Commander took Captain Phasma and a division to the surface.” Hux refrained from sighing, of course he’d take Phasma, she never missed the opportunity for a scuffle.

“Let me know when they have retrieved the intel.”

“Yes, General.” He turned, satisfied that everything was running smoothly but he had no doubt Ren would bring some trouble back with him. For now, he had to see you, he hadn’t forgotten he promised to tell you about Starkiller and it gave him a slight thrill to share this with you.

He knocked gently on your door, trying not to remember the previous time he was in here but he couldn’t stop the ghost-like feel of your lips against his and he subconsciously raised the tips of his fingers to trace his mouth. His hand snatched away as the light of your room spilled over him, his heart rate almost seemed to triple at the sight of you. The smile you bestowed upon him was not one he deserved and he couldn’t bring himself to return it as he stepped inside.

“Good Morning General,” you said softly. “Care to join me for breakfast?”

“Just some caf will do.”

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” You asked, pouring him a cup. You gestured to the cream and sugar but he shook his head, preferring it black and bitter.

“I hadn’t forgotten to tell you about Starkiller.” He pulled the coat off his shoulders in one movement, hanging it carefully over the back of a chair. “I realised I had some time while…Ren does what he does.” You went to sit down and automatically his hands were on your chair. He wasn’t sure why but his upbringing always surfaced while he was around you, the pleasant and not so pleasant. He had watched the men around him and how they treated the women, his father had not been a good role model in that regard but his step mother hadn’t exactly been the nicest and he could see why Brendol had treated her the way he did. They had deserved each other.

He sat opposite you, the cup warm in his gloved hands, the rich aroma permeated the air around him as he lifted the cup and took the first sip, he almost sighed with relief at the bitter tones bringing his tongue to life and hitting the back of his throat. One of the few pleasures he allowed himself was a decent cup of caf.

“I’m assuming Starkiller has been a closely guarded secret?” You asked before nibbling on a piece of cooked bread.

“It has, the plans were found buried among the Empire archives under the name Project Celestial Power. The idea was to contain quintessence. A dark matter, very volatile and the Empire never succeeded. They chose to focus their attention on Project Stardust which we knew inevitably led to their downfall.” His eyes rose to find you staring intently at him hanging on his every word. He was used to his Officers paying attention, they had to, it was their job but he never expected someone wanted to hear him speak.

“Stardust, was that the Death Star?” He nodded trying not to be surprised that you knew anything about it, of course you did. You had been brought up among the Imperials as much he had, of course you’d know snippets of information that other people would not be privy to.

“Well we managed it, with the technological advancements over the years we were able to find a way to harness the power quintessence and turn it into phantom energy. It’s a limitless power source and this will provide the First Order with the power it needs to bring all the star systems into line and fall under our rule. It’s nearly ready….” He looked deep into his cup, still shocked that this was finally coming to fruition. He’d been waiting so long, biding his time before bringing the might of the First Order down onto the rebels, criminals and scumbags that made up the New Republic. He was going to make himself even more invaluable to Leader Snoke.

“Where do you get the power from? Surely no power source is limitless?” Hux allowed himself a smirk, that was the beauty of this machine.

“Clues in the name,” he offered smugly. “It drains the power of the very stars themselves, it gathers the energy in stages, directing it straight into the planet's core where we use the natural magnetic field to store the energy as well as a fail safe containment field we have applied to the crust of the planet…”

“It’s a planet? You’ve made a planet into a weapon?” Hux’s gaze met yours across the table, seeing the wonder flowing from your eyes and he felt his pulse feather in his neck as he swallowed.

“We have. Would you like to see it?” He asked softly.

“Yes, yes I would.” He got up, a sense of excitement coursing through him as he headed for the small holotable in your room. He entered his personal access code and began to swipe through the files until he found what he was looking for. He barely noticed you come up beside him, the round blue holo image appeared before you both and he enlarged it with a flex of his fingers. He straightened, his shoulder gently bumping yours as you leaned in to look at the slowly spinning image.

“What’s this?” You asked, pointing at the large round opening on the side of the planet.

“That’s where the energy is released,” he leaned and pointed out the thermal oscillator, explaining how the energy was gathered in stages and then when the containment fields were dropped the phantom energy would be freed. “Lots of calculations have to be done before it can fire, but once it does nothing can stop the energy on its path except something with the mass of a planet.”

“But what if you fire it and something is in the way?” Hux spun the image and tilted it to show you the rocket ports. “We can move it, turn it to whatever angle we want to create the trajectory we need to hit the target.”

“Oh, Armitage….” You whispered, your eyes wide as you regarded the picture before you. In the awe filled silence he suddenly became aware of how close you were, your body was slightly turned to him, the warmth of you already beginning to seep through his uniform. Your scent clouded the air around him and he couldn’t help but breathe you in, although he hated Arkanis he could only describe you as smelling like home. His eyes tracked over your face, studying every little motion, the flicker of your lashes, the way your lips parted slightly, the pull of your brows as you pondered over everything he’d said. He could get thoroughly lost in you and again his mind flew to the kiss, until your gaze magnetised to his. He felt frozen, his feet were glued to the floor and as much as he body screamed at him to look away he couldn’t. “It’s glorious, this could really cement the First Order as the new power in the Galaxy,” you breathed.

“That’s the intention.” He murmured back. He jumped slightly as his commlink sounded loudly and he knew whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

“General, Commander Ren has returned. With a prisoner.”

“I have to go,” he exclaimed, swiping the image down and erasing his code. He grabbed his coat, pausing when you came into his line of vision.

“Here,” you said, offering him a new cup of caf. “I think you’re going to need it.”

“Yes, I believe I am.” He reached, his fingers covering yours momentarily as you passed the cup over, the burn of your skin coming through his gloves more than the heat of the cup and he found himself wanting to stay. You were a calming influence on him, he relaxed with you and he really didn’t want to deal with whatever awfulness Ren had brought aboard his ship.

“I hope I can see you later?” You asked, stepping after him as he moved away. The door opened and he turned to look at you one last time.

“I will try.”

Hux straightened his shoulders as he walked, Ren and Snoke were so desperate for this map, but where Ren wanted to collect it Snoke had made it perfectly clear that destruction of the map was an option. He could see the troopers outside of the interrogation room and Kylo striding down the corridor.

“Who have you brought on board?” Asked Hux curtly over the screams that were coming from behind the closed door.

“A resistance member who was given the piece of the map we are looking for. The old man gave it to him, I know he did but it wasn’t on him.” Hux tensed as Kylo’s hand flexed over his saber.

“Try not to kill him before we’ve had a chance to extract all the information out of him.” Kylo tipped his head to the side.

“By all means General Hux,” he said in mock politeness. “You can go first.” The door opened and Hux stepped into the room leaving the force user outside. He grabbed the datapad and looked at the information on the screen.

“Prisoner 8910542….”

“That’s a mouthful isn’t it?” The man gasped from his position in the chair. Hux refused to acknowledge he’d said anything and continued.

“Known as Poe Dameron, a star fighter squadron commander for the scum of the Galaxy known as the Resistance.” He smirked. “Where is your precious Princess now? You know there is no way they can rescue you from here.” Hux stepped forward, noticing the blood already oozing from wounds on the man's face, his dark curly hair matted and damp from sweating. The way his brown eyes slid to the floor Hux could tell the pilot already knew he would die here. “We could come to an arrangement if you tell us what you did with the map.” Hux eyed him, not expecting a reply but waiting for one anyway. “Alright, XZ 1594…” a droid zoomed to the General’s side. “Continue the interrogation, use all available techniques.” The pilot's eyes widened, his mouth clamping shut as the droid ominously advanced. Hux carried the datapad out of the cell and watched the vital signs of the prisoner in the corridor.

He had no idea how long he had to put up with Ren pacing up and down the corridor like a caged tooka, it just highlighted his lack of control, of discipline and Hux found it highly amusing that a force user of Ren’s calibre lacked discipline. Hux swiped through the information that was being logged from the droid, the question had been asked 300 times already, techniques 2265 and 6304 had already been used. He couldn’t help but admire the man’s resistance to the torture he was enduring. Ren paused before Hux who didn’t even look up.

“Not yet,” he stated calmly, enjoying the huff of annoyance that fell from the mask before he resumed his pacing. Another hour passed and the question had been asked nearly 800 times with no answer, technique 3333 had been implemented and still nothing. Hux remotely commanded the droid to conduct procedure K8-A4. The reaction was instant, the prisoner’s vitals went off the charts, red lights flickered and his heart rate rocketed, the oxygen levels dropped dangerously and Hux gestured for a trooper to go and investigate. Poe was convulsing violently in his bindings, blood smeared across his face mixed with a thick sheen of sweat, the trooper had to act quickly, flipping the pilot's tongue out of his throat and freeing his airway. Hux sighed loudly, disappointed his methods didn’t work and he told the droid to stand down. He checked over the vitals of the passed out prisoner before turning to Ren. “When he wakes, see what you can get out of him.”

“He won’t be asleep for long,” the threat slithered from his mask and Hux refrained from shivering. The door closed firmly behind the Commander and Hux settled in for another wait. He wasn’t going to let Ren do this without supervision.

The prisoners heart rate picked up and Hux was pulled from his relaxed state, the droid was still activated and it was recording the interrogation, Hux could see Ren was crouched before the pilot. Words were exchanged, nothing of consequence until Ren rose.

“Where is the map to Luke Skywalker?” Hux watched with interest as the pilot's face changed from confusion to one of pain. He twisted, fighting an unseen force as Kylo exercised his hidden talents on the mind of the prisoner, a scream so loud tore from his chest and suddenly everything went silent, Hux tapped the screen but the droid had undergone some substantial damage. The door opened and Ren emerged, his fists clenched tightly against his sides.

“It’s in a droid. A BB unit.” Hux nodded at the new information.

“Well then, if it’s on Jakku we’ll soon have it.”

“I’ll leave that to you,” Ren said dismissively as he began to stride off to god knows where. Hux bristled but in all honesty he’d rather be in charge of this and succeed where Kylo had failed. He handed the datapad to a trooper and headed to the bridge without a word.

“Lieutenant!”

“Yes, General?” Answered Mitaka.

“Send a squad down to Niima outpost, the droid is used to being around people and it will seek help, tell them to look out for a ball droid, a BB unit. I want this droid found or destroyed.” He demanded before heading to his office.

He dropped into his chair with a sigh, removing his gloves he ran his hands over his face. This is not how he thought this day would go but having a Resistance member on board could prove useful. He just needed the pilot to recover and stabilise before he interrogated him again, this time for the location of their hidden base so he could be rid of the Resistance once and for all.

[diningwiththeasquiths]

In this Kylux ficlet Jedi are supposed to remain celibate (which is not actually canon, but shh just go with it). And Hux is aroace. Warning: I'm going through some shit so this is not a happy story.

Hux can't help a feeling of excitement when he realises his mysterious co-commander used to be a Jedi. Who knew the man could become even more intriguing than he already was.

He once heard that Jedi practise celibacy. And since Kylo Ren is still a Force user, who takes the Force very seriously and seems so damn solemn about it, there is a chance he still lives by those principles...

Hux himself has never been interested in sex; the desire is simply not there. In fact, it makes his skin crawl. Not the idea of it; he has no issue with the concept of sex. But when it involves him... it absolutely repulses him.

Which is why his few clumsy attempts at relationships have failed so miserably in the end. Sex is expected and desired, after all.

That, and well... he just doesn't seem to be designed for any of it, really.

Since he also dislikes the act of kissing. At worst it disgusts him and at best it bores him. He can think of a million better, more interesting things to do with his time. Like the preparations for Project Starkiller, for example.

And then there is touch. Touching someone else has never come natural to Hux. Even simple contact, such as hands touching, feels very intense and quickly becomes too much. He might end up finding some enjoyment in it, but it never comes easy to him. Other times he just considers it inconvenient and becomes slightly annoyed by it. It puzzles and frustrates him.

He never really initiates any of it, and that makes him feel guilty. It seems like there are so many things he should be doing (and feeling), but isn't able to. More often than not he ends up overthinking and stressing about it all, which only makes things worse.

His previous partners have accused him of merely wanting to be friends. But he does not think that's the case. He likes the idea of being in a relationship with someone. To commit to someone. (To be worthy of someone's love, a voice in his head whispers.) And he is very loyal to, and invested in, the person he's with. Just... not in a way that meets the requirements of the other person.

So he's stopped looking for a partner.

Until the universe dropped Kylo Ren in his lap, that is. The man is as infuriating as he is intriguing and impressive. Hux can't stop thinking about him.

He finds himself awake at night, thinking up strategies to help Ren achieve his goals. Not his own goals, oh no, Kylo Ren's kriffing goals. It's strange, but then again he's always concerned himself with the well-being (the happiness) of the people he's interested in.

Ren also has attractive features, he noticed. Not just his body, which obviously is in very good shape, but his face too. A strong nose, full lips and soulful brown eyes. It was hard not to stare.

Hux had been very surprised after only seeing him with his helmet on for so long. But after a closer look he understood why Ren had been hiding his 'pleasing to look at and decidedly not disfigured' face. Much too recognisable. And much too soft, too open.

And now here they are, in Ren's chambers. Ren has invited him over to discuss some trivial matter. It's clearly an excuse to talk in a more private setting. There are even some lit candles in the room for kriff's sake. He's not an idiot. He knows what's happening here.

Ren seems pleased when Hux steers the conversation towards companionship. When Hux pulls back after he tries to kiss him, however, Ren reacts confused.

Hux awkwardly tries to explain himself but Ren gets upset at the mention of celibacy and non-physical affection. He says it's unhealthy to deny yourself those things and if Hux feels that way he should seek some sort of professional help. Perhaps something bad has happened to him in the past?

Hux deflates. What a nightmare of a situation. There is nothing left to say (he can't find the words to defend himself) so he quickly takes his leave. It feels like defeat.

During the walk back to his own (cold, empty) chambers he not only feels mortified but also more lonely than he has felt in a long time.

All of a sudden, he is reminded of an octowhale on Arkanis.

Their species communicates through underwater sounds, almost songlike. One day, before Hux was born, sensors picked up an octowhale sound at an unusual frequency. It was said that the animal would be unable to connect to other octowhales due to its unique call.

When he heard the story as a young child, the notion had saddened him.

Now, he's the one who is drifting through the darkness all alone.