#Hunter Ruggaboor

[stargazerlillian]

“How (Not) To Be a Vampire” (for Yoel)

The night of All Hallow’s Eve is a time for tricks, treats, and all-around merriment for the children of Stoke and their families. In the Ruggaboor household, however, it’s just another night for a certain to go out on the prowl for “treats” of his own. But before he can do that, he has to put a couple of kids – and a few misconceptions – to bed.

Serves as a written companion piece to these images.

Sebastian, Hunter, and Ballantine Ruggaboor belong to @yoel-o-fellow.

Content warning: Mild language, drug usage (smoking), and some suggestive dialogue regarding Sebastian’s “evening plans”.

——————–

October 31st, 1972

Stoke-on-Trent, England

The Ruggaboor Residence

8:42 PM

Magic mirror on the wall, who’s the scariest one of all?

Ballantine beamed as she took yet another twirl in front of her bedroom mirror. Her cape cascaded in around her in black silky waves before settling down flat on her back again.

“BOO!” she screeched, scrunching her nose and wriggling her fingers. Her eyes seemed to flash with intensity, and her false fangs seemed to glimmer before the glass. She couldn’t help but smile proudly at her display. She looked positively horrifying. Bela Lugosi would eat his heart out at this perfect act of scariness.

 “Pfft, you’ll never scare ‘im, sis!” Hunter sneered, back leaned against the doorframe. “Dad’s twice as big as ye, an’ he’d be as keen as mustard to scare ye back even harder!”

“Tha’s not gonna stop me,” Ballantine retorted. “An’ I will too scare ‘im!”

“Will not,” Hunter quipped, folding his arms.

“Will too!” Ballantine snapped, hands balled into fists.

“Will not!”

“Will too!”

“Will not!”

“Will too!”

“Look, Ballty, jus’ accept it. Yer not scary. I only got ye tha’ costume to humor ye.” Hunter huffed. “An’ also because ye suck the life out o’ me,” he mumbled under his breath.

“Oh yeh? I’ll show you who’s not scary!”

With the edges of her cape firmly grasped in her tiny hands, she took off down the stairs, where her target lied in wait.

“I’m gonna give ‘im the scare of his life!”

———

Sebastian hummed ponderously as he gave himself one last look-over in the living room mirror.

Eyes? Yellow and a bit bloodshot. He was only a few weeks away from turning thirty-one, and yet his jaundice had already dealt him an unfair amount of unkindness. But he at least still had his enticing dark brown irises. Women go crazy for dark brown eyes.

Teeth? Yellow, and framed by red inflamed gums. His breath probably didn’t smell that great either, but that’s nothing a little spritz of breath spray won’t fix.

Hair? Oily, and a little itchy if he were to be honest. But it was combed out, and that’s better than nothing, right?

Sebastian sighed.

Whatever. It would have to do. Stoke birds were always easy to snatch up. The fact that it was Halloween would only be a plus. He was bound to catch more than just a few eyes out at the pubs tonight.

But first, a quick smoke.

Sebastian popped a cigarette between his lips and rummaged through his pocket for a lighter. After a few unsuccessful clicks, a steady flame finally ignited. But before he could bring it up to singe the tip, a loud high-pitched voice pierced through the dead air.

“BOO!”

Sebastian sharply inhaled and quickly turned to face the source of the disturbance. Standing at the foot of the stairs was his six-year-old daughter, dressed in her smiley-face pajamas – along with something extra he did not remember her having before. He grit his teeth tightly.

“Ballantine, wha’ in the bloody hell are ye doin’ down ‘ere? I though’ I told ye to go to bed! An’ where did ye get tha’ costume from?!”

“BOO!” Ballantine shouted again, fluttering her cape and baring her false fangs. “I said BOO, Daddy!”

Sebastian’s eyes widened for a brief second, before settling into an amused half-lidded expression. “Is tha’ supposed to scare me?” he rasped, unlit cigarette tightly gripped between his teeth.

“I’m a vampire, Daddy! BOO! Fear me! BOOO!”

Sebastian blinked twice in bewilderment as the child continued pushing her charade. She looked just like how her mother did when she tried to be scary as a kid – not scary at all. Only cute. A hearty giggle began to bubble up at the back of his throat.

In the many Halloweens gone by, when he snuck out of the house to meet her and pull some tricks on the other children together, his reaction to her progressively scarier costumes were always the same – laughter. First, she was the bride of Frankenstein. Then she was a witch. Then she was a vampiress. It didn’t matter how much she contorted her face or how “frightening” she dressed – she always turned out adorable. 

And her frustration at not scaring him only made him laugh harder. God, he loved her – she always tried so hard for him. And now their daughter was following in her mother’s footsteps. He clapped a gloved palm tightly over his mouth as a humored smile threatened to show itself, and a losing battle with his laughter raged within.

First came a snicker. Then came a chuckle. Then came an eruption of guffaws the likes of which neither he nor the child in front of him could never have imagined.

“Hoohoohahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Ballantine’s eyes widened. Why was her father laughing all of a sudden?

“Wh-wha’s so funny? Why ain’t ye scared, Daddy?”

Sebastian folded his arms over his abdomen as he bent forward, the sudden force of his laughter already wreaking havoc on his nerves.

“Ooh hoo hoo hoo hoooo, oooooh ‘m sorry, Ballantine, ‘s jus’ tha’ – tha’ ye look so – so cute! Ahahahaha!” He knelt down to Ballantine’s level and ruffled her hair.

Ballantine’s lips tightened. Why was he being so… playful? And more importantly, why wasn’t he scared? She pouted as an embarrassed flush flooded her cheeks.

“’m not cute, ‘m scary!”

“Righ-ha-ha-igh’, su-hure ye are, hahahahaha!” Sebastian chuckled, discreetly wiping a tear from his left eye. He rose back up to his feet and turned back to the mirror to try and light his cigarette again.

“Hoooo... yer too much, hahahaha.” 

Ballantine huffed, crossing her arms tightly to her chest. “’s not fair… I was tryin’ t’ be jus’ like you!”

Sebastian froze. His eyes shot wide open. He whirled his head back around to face his daughter.

“You wha’?”

“Well, yer a vampire, an’ yer pretty scary, so I thought I’d try to do the same things you do.”

A pause. Sebastian couldn’t help but raise both eyebrows at those words. Was this kid serious right now?

“I don’ know where ye got tha’ idea, bu’ ‘m not a vampire.”

Another pause. Ballantine suddenly felt her insides twist into knots. “Y-you’re not?”

Her father shook his head. “No. ‘m not. An’ neither are you. Tell me… where did ye ‘ear tha’?”

Ballantine swallowed. “Um… Hunter told me tha’, Daddy. H-he said that we had to be vampires to… look the way we do.”

Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose as an irritated huff escaped his nostrils. Perhaps reading Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” to him a couple of years back wasn’t the best idea after all.

He got back down to his daughter’s level, placing his clawed hands on her tiny shoulders. She held her breath as his face grew closer.

“Look, Ballantine – yer brother’s full of it, alrigh’? Imaginative lad, sure, bu’ he’s got me aaaaall wrong.”

“Bu’, bu’, you dress all in black, an’ drink blood from a glass, an’ only seem to be awake at nigh’. Hunter also told me tha’ he saw ye bitin’ some o’ the women ye bring home. He says ye do it to suck their blood.”

The man snorted.

“Look, Ballantine, all these things I do ‘ave a reason, alrigh’? And it ain’t because ‘m a bloody vampire. Fer instance,” he began, holding out part of his long black cape, “I dress in black because I jus’ like to. I like the color black – tha’s it. Tha’s all there is to it. As fer the ‘blood’ ye say I drink, well…”

He strolled over to the refrigerator and pulled out a tall green bottle, half full with a deep red liquid.

“I ‘ate to break it to ye, bu’ it’s not blood at all. It’s wine. It’s a grown-up drink. Comes in red or white, an’ is made from grapes.”

Ballantine raised and eyebrow thoughtfully. “So… it’s grown-up grape juice?”

Sebastian shrugged. “Yeh, sure, I guess ye can call it tha’.” He slid the bottle back in the fridge.

“Oh,” Ballantine murmured. So black is just her dad’s favorite color, and he just likes to drink red wine a lot. In hindsight, it all made a lot of sense. Maybe she should have thought of that beforehand.

“Then… wha’ abou’ the fact tha’ ye sleep all day an’ only go out at nigh’?”

“Well, fer one, there’s not much fer a bloke like me to do in the daytime.” he stated, adjusting his sleeves. “Not without th’ coppers gettin’ involved, anyway,” he thought. “Nighttime is jus’… more convenient an’ excitin’ fer me.”

“Bu’ wha’ about the women bitin’? Is Hunter wrong about tha’ too?”

Sebastian’s throat tightened. He took a deep breath and cleared it before giving his answer.

“Well… tha’s the only thing yer brother got righ’ about me. I do sometimes bite them. Bu’ not fer their blood.”

Ballantine raised an eyebrow curiously. “Then… why do ye do it?”

Sebastian’s eyes darted about the room for a second. “Let’s jus’ say tha’ it’s… somethin’ they like.”

Ballantine tilted her head. “Why do they like it? Doesn’t it hurt?”

“I’ll… explain tha’ another time,” Sebastian murmured, a flush of heat threatening to show itself on his face. “The point is tha’ all these things I do ‘ave a logical explanation – many things do.”

“They do?”

“Indeed they do, m’ dear. In fact,” Sebastian began as he glided back to the mirror, “look ‘ere – do ye see my reflection?”

“Y-yeh?”

“Well, if I were a vampire, I wouldn’t even ‘ave a reflection. There’d be nothin’ at all. An’ on top o’ tha’ …”

Before Ballantine could blink, her father had scooped her up into his arms and brought her back to the mirror.

“Oh, lookie there – you ‘ave a reflection, too. So, yer not a vampire either.”

The girl’s eyes became almost as large as her grandmother’s china saucers. What was happening right now?

“Vampires also despise garlic and things made of silver. I, however, love both of those things. I mean look, m’ cloak’s clasps are made of silver, fer Christ’s sake!” He pinched the skull-shaped clasps holding his cape’s collar together and brought them closer to his daughter’s face.

The girl looked closely at them. She didn’t feel the least bit ill. Perhaps her dad was right. “So… we’re not vampires?”

“No, Ballantine – we’re not. We’re Ruggaboors. We’re our own kind o’ beast.”

“Then... why do we ‘ave sharp teeth, an’, an’ pointy ears, an’ black hair?”

Sebastian averted his eyes for a quick second in the direction of the main hallway where a certain painting of a certain ancestor was hanging. Is now the time to tell her that story?

He took a deep breath. No. Not yet.

“Those are all jus’ coincidences, Ballantine.”

“Co-in-cidences?” Ballantine asked, tilting her head.

“’s a great big fancy word fer similar things tha’ happen tha’ aren’t connected. Like me ‘avin’ all these vampiric traits while not bein’ a vampire. Ye get wha’ I’m sayin’?”

“Y-yeh, I guess so,” Ballantine replied with a shrug.

“Good then. ‘m glad we’re in agreement on tha’”, Sebastian said with a surprisingly gentle smile.

Just then, the grandfather clock in the main hall began to chime. It was now 9:00 P.M.

“Alrigh’ wee child. Time fer bed now,” the man said, bringing his child close to his left shoulder.

The girl swallowed dryly yet again. Wee child? She didn’t remember ever being called that before.

Carefully, the man took his first step on the stairs, and began his ascent to the attic, making sure to keep the girl in his arms secure the whole way.

“Um... daddy?” Ballantine murmured.

Sebastian stopped. “Yes?”

A pause.

“‘m... sorry tha’ I thought ye were a vampire. I jus’ though’ tha’ this was what we really are. We don’t look like most people, so, I though’ we had to be a monster of some kind. Ye know?”

Sebastian clamped his mouth tightly. An apology? From his daughter? He found himself putting his brain into overdrive as he tried to encode a proper response to this... unexpected verbal gesture.

“Aw, well. Jus’… don’ believe everythin’ yer brother tells ye, alrigh’? Yer far smarter than tha’. I know ye are.”

“Okay…” Ballantine replied meekly, unsure of the strange feeling settling into her stomach as her father continued to carry her gently upstairs. What was up with him tonight? He didn’t usually act like… however he was acting now. Kind, perhaps? She didn’t really know.

Once they reached the top of the stairs and entered the attic, Hunter’s eyes instantly lit up seeing a confused Ballantine being carried in by a not-so-frightened Sebastian. She had failed her mission.

“Aha! I knew ye couldn’t scare ‘im!” he jeered, pointing a stubby finger at his sister. Ballantine stuck her tongue out in response.

“I’ll talk with you later, Hunter. But fer now, you an’ yer sister need to go to sleep. I’ve got some very important business to tend to tonight, and I’m already runnin’ late as is.”

Hunter’s eyes widened. “Wha’? So yer jus’ gonna leave us ‘ere alone all nigh’?”

Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes. How much more dramatic can this boy get?

“No, Hunter – ‘m not leavin’ ye all by yerself. I called yer mum earlier today to let her know tha’ I was goin’ to need someone to watch you. I’m leavin’ the door unlocked so tha’ she can let herself in and watch the place while I’m gone.”

“W-when will ye be back, Daddy?” Ballantine asked.

“I should be back before sunrise tomorrow. I highly advise both you an’ yer brother stay in bed and not bother Miss Zelia for the duration of her stay. She’s… had a real long day, an’ she really doesn’t wish to be disturbed.”

“Dis-turbed?”

“’s jus’ another way of sayin’ ‘bothered’, Ballantine,” Sebastian huffed as he set her down on her bed and shoved the covers over her.

“Aw, c’mon Dad, ‘s not tha’ late. ‘m not even tired! Why can’t my sis an’ I go trick-or-treatin’ tonight? All the other kids in town are doin’ it, so why can’t we?”

“You’ll both get to ‘trick or treat’ when I say ye can, an’ this year, it’s out o’ the question. I need someone to watch ye while I’m gone.” Sebastian rasped. “Normally, I’d ‘ave yer granny do tha’, but she’s still in th’ hospital,” he added.

“Well, why can’t Miss Zelia take us trick-or-treatin’?” Ballantine chirped. “She can watch us while we go to each house an’-”

Sebastian cut her off. “I told ye, Ballantine, she’s tired. She cannot be disturbed – er, bothered tonight. Yer not goin’ anywhere, an’ tha’s the end of it. Understand?”

Ballantine’s smile and eyes fell. “Oh, right.” She did not like it when he roughened his tone like that.

“Good, then,” he said, his smile returning. “You two sleep well, now. I’ll see ye both in th’ mornin’~”

With that, he slid out of the room and shut the door behind him.

For what felt like the longest time after his departure, there was no sound in the dark attic. The children could only stare up at the musty ceiling in pure bewilderment. Once the echo of booted footsteps faded from hearing range, Hunter took his chance to whisper what was on his mind.

“Blimey… wha’s his deal? He’s actin’ so… weird.”

Ballantine clamped her mouth and pulled her sheets close to her chin, still trying to ease the unfamiliar flutter in her belly. “I… I don’ really know, big brother. I… jus’ don’ know.”

Hunter uttered a sigh as he lied back and pulled his covers up to his chest.

“Well… wha’ever it is, I guess we shoul’ feel lucky he’s not mad – he gets real nasty when he’s mad.”

“Yeh,” Ballantine trailed off. She turned over to face the window. 

All the houses were aglow with hand-carved jack-o-lanterns, and she could faintly hear the sounds of rustling leaves and children’s laughter carrying on the wind. She pressed a tiny palm longingly on the cold glass. She found it so strange and unfair that their dad wouldn’t let her and her brother trick-or-treat with the other kids. But she found it even stranger that her father – her own father – was capable of smiling so many times in one night.

This had been one bizarre evening.

She sighed and pulled the covers snuggly over her shoulder. Maybe November will start out a little less strange.

“Well... nigh’, sis.”

“Nigh’, bro-bro.”

———

Sebastian’s smirk spread from ear to ear as he made his way down the block, buckled boots jingling, silver tipped cane twirling, and cigarette lit at last.

Finally. Time for him to get down to the “important business” he had been planning all evening for. First stop – the Burgundy Sky Lounge.

He chuckled to himself. Such silly little ones. To think – him, a vampire!

He had to admit though – it was a little flattering. Perhaps he could use that as part of a pick-up line. He wasn’t entirely sure how well it would work, but one thing was for certain – from here on out, he was going to do all his lady biting away from home.

[yoel-o-fellow]

The whole family~  Plus a bonus sketch of Ballty and Hunter just to show you how far the apples have fallen from the tree-

[stargazerlillian]

Spruced up some old headshot sketches I found in my sketchbook and colored them. Just some ill-conditioned growling fellow and his two scheming offspring~

Sebastian, Hunter, and Ballantine Ruggaboor belong to @yoel-o-fellow

EDIT (4/3/2022): Redid Ballantine’s pearl earrings.

[yoel-o-fellow]

Yay, the Ruggaboor Family Tree is finally here!  As you can see, there are a lot of ancestors missing, but I’ll add more characters to the tree as the family grows.  The dates you see there are what I would consider each generation’s most active period.

[yoel-o-fellow]

These are the portraits I used for the Ruggaboor Family Tree.  Let me know if you like any of these faces because if you do I’ll fix up the most popular characters and turn them into sell-able, individualized stickers.

[yoel-o-fellow]

ThE BeSt SiBLinGS

[stargazerlillian]

“If I have resistance to something, it means there’s something wrong. The resistance to me is a sign of fear.” – Billy Corgan

Hunter Ruggaboor belongs to @yoel-o-fellow​

(Alternate “hidden depths” version beneath the cut)

[yoel-o-fellow]

Rank the Ruggaboor women from least to most curvy.😉

From most to least:

[stargazerlillian]

I’m bored, so here - have some memes. Some are based on headcanons, some aren’t. Enjoy them, I guess.🤷‍♀️

All characters mentioned below belong to @yoel-o-fellow​

1. Marvin’s life in the 1980′s summed up in one image:

Isaac? Long gone. The AIDS Crisis? On full attack. Fear of an impending apocalypse? Ceaseless. Marvin’s mind? Tormented.

2. The one thing that keeps all of us awake at night:

Alternatively…

When will we knooooow?

3. What does a muscle man good:

Radishes - nutritious, delicious, a reminder of someone you loved, and absolutely will not kill you.

My point? Give Octavius aaaaall the radishes~

Speaking of which…

4: The final thoughts of a muscle man:

Octavius: So there I was, in th’ minefields, when all of a sudden - wait, why can’t I breathe? An’ why is m’ vision goin’ dark? OH GOD -

And then he collapsed onto the floor and died.

The End.

5. If at first you don’t succeed:

Just give up, Beneflet - Notoriah and good morals just don’t mix.

(More memes beneath the cut because this post is getting pretty long, LOL)

6. Who he really wants:

Seems Sebastian has his eye on someone different, HM. How’s that for something that’ll ultimately ruin your outlook on love for the rest of your life?

7. Gallagher trying NOT to freak out in public when his heart rate acts up:

Gallagher: Oh God… please… no… not now… not out here… please don’t send me back to th’ medic…

Having a heart condition: just as much a pain in the ass as it is a pain in the chest.

Speaking of which, folks - it’s officially Heart Disease Awareness Month in the United States. If you would like to show support, make sure to wear red on February 7th (National Wear Red Day), and do your part to take care of your heart. After all, a healthy heart is a gift for life!❤️

8. Sebrina and J’s dynamic summarized in one image:

J: Zhat’s not fair - you’re wearing six eench heels!

Sebrina: Aw c’mon, love, admit it - you like this.

J: Non! Put me down! Now!

Sebrina: Hmm, no - I think I’ll keep you ‘ere for a wee bit longer. You look rather cute like this.

J: 😳

9. The Ruggaboor Twins’ biggest fans:

Let’s face it - nobody gets them like they do.

10. 🎵”They ain’t nothin’ but heartbreakers~”🎵

Use your heads, folks - this family is not worth going after. And that’s the truth~

Anyway, that’s all I have. Hope you liked them okay, LOL.

[yoel-o-fellow]

Would the Ruggaboor gene get weaker as time went on? I know the curse and all, but physically, Hunter and Bally are a lighter shade of green than the rest, maybe cos of their mothers?

Sorry, I’m just speculating out loud :v

Ballty and Hunter are lighter shades, but it doesn't have much to do with outside genes. Rather, it has more to do with the curse. 👀

And MaYHaPs. But only if a family member ever actually breaks the curse. Otherwise, any descendants will inherit Ruggaboor genes first and foremost. Ruggaboor genes are always dominant.