yoel-o-fellow

[yoel-o-fellow]

Some more totally out of context quotes from "Malignant Remedy".

[yoel-o-fellow]

How did Zephry and Izammar know they were truly in love with each other? Were they in denial over it for a long time before they came to terms with their feelings?

It's going to be a very slow burn, and I think they'll only realize their love for each other when the threat of the other character's permanent absence becomes a very real prospect. It's like you said, they are in denial for years before they do anything about it. And a lot of their denial is born out of mere stubbornness, but also their cultural and class differences.

The truth is, deep down in his subconscious, Zeph sort of wants Iza the moment he lays eyes on him, but he's realistic - Iza is way out of his league - so he suppresses his desire and approaches their acquaintance in the most non-serious and combative way. He has nothing to lose after all. But he's also predispositioned to dislike pretty types (especially elves) since beauty is often paired with ignorance, or an air of superiority. His past lovers are a testiment to that, because they would have been considered a little homely by some, but it was their personalities and talents that completely enraptured him, and looks was the last thing on his mind.

Even if he did realize his love for Izammar, he is averse to starting meaningful relationships due to his childish fear of abandonment. He believes every relationship is doomed to fail, and so he quietly pushes people away on the premise that if a relationship is not born it can never die. So it's yet another hurdle to overcome.

Izammar, on the other hand, literally thinks Zephry is the ugliest man he has met, not just because of his leathery skin, but because of his lack of refinement, and his total disregard for genteelness. Not to mention, he's a goblin, and Sverenne propaganda would have you believe that goblins are wily, money-grubbing creatures whose grand scheme is to slowly undermine establishments. Unfortunately, Zeph just happens to fit that bill - doing absolutely no credit to his race - so it only solidifies Izammar's prejudices further. But Zeph is not without his reasons.

The thing you got to know about Izammar is that despite his seemingly successful exterior, he's actually a big friendless nerd. Izammar was taught not to trust anybody growing up, so even though he cultivates relationships with the super elite, the relationships are always conditional, and ultimately meaningless. So one of the things he begins to appreciate is his conversations with Zephry, because even though it's just them bickering half the time, there are always undertones of concern for the other's well-being. And that's when he starts to realize that Zephry is his one true friend. And perhaps, that may be when he sort of falls in love, a little.

[yoel-o-fellow]

Wrote some rough dialogue between Zeph and Iza last night:

"Don't flirt with me, Ambassador."

[yoel-o-fellow]

I have a BlueSky now. Hoo boi.

Come join me and my audience of zero~

[yoel-o-fellow]

Sorry guys. I'm in a weird period where I think all my drawings look like crap, so if I ever post and delete something, you know why, lolol.

I know they are just haphazard scribbles, but I am still embarrassed by them.

[yoel-o-fellow]

I started an Instagram channel (Gobliny Goodness) which I'm pretty much treating as a Malignant Remedy sketch journal. The link is underneath the IG bio (only in the app, unfortunately).

[yoel-o-fellow]

Maizar Evelyn Troggard 🎃

Maizar Evelyn Troggard - "Maizar" is the Druwolise honorific for those who are genderless - is an agent of chaos, a lover of human suffering, an incessant gambler, an unremitting prankster.  But their villainy is not without cause. For many years the yellow-eyed, long-toothed rascal was rumoured to be a changeling - a malicious fae imposter swapped for the Troggard's true child.

There is one thing that lends the most credence to the rumour.  Shapeshifting generally takes years of rigorous study, but Evelyn, who happens to be an incompetent mage in every other artform, somehow has a natural aptitude for it. It is not as if there isn't a drawback to this ability: Evelyn has no body control. Within a few short hours, they can bloat twelve times their size, or alternatively shrink.  The unpredictability has become so cumbersome, that it always benefits them to bring two sets of wardrobes.

[yoel-o-fellow]

The most annoying aspect about writing fantasy is that cool words like "lillipution", "quixotic", "machiavellian", would be rendered meaningless in alternative worlds, since the people would have their own historical allusions and mythologies. Where do you draw the line, ya know? Do we just accept that everything is anachronistic and move on?

[yoel-o-fellow]

My brothers in arms...there are other ways of showing two characters are in love. You don't have to draw them blushing all the time.

To 90% of artists on Tumblr.

[yoel-o-fellow]

I only have the mental capacity to scribble heads rn, cause I haven't picked up a pencil in 2 months.

The frenemy duo: Zephry Drux & Ambassador Izammar Parhandari

Goblins and Allus (Elves) have a long history of war, so they, by nature, do not tend to get along.

[yoel-o-fellow]

Lil' update:

I finally managed to coax Wacom into fixing my tablet for free. Unfortunately, it will take up to three weeks to get it delivered back to me. So art-trades are still on hold. 🙏 But thanks for being very cool about it~ You are the chillest friends/mutuals/frutuals.

In the meantime, I could attempt to blind you with traditional art, when I finally feel less dejected to draw again. Or maybe I shall bore you to tears with writing snippets from Malignant Remedy, or GrímR of Nowither. Yes, that all sounds rather appealing to me~

[yoel-o-fellow]

I'm not dead. I'm just struggling to get my drawing tablet fixed. In the meantime, I shall imagine all the tasty goblin art I can't draw atm, and transmit the images to you telepathically. Hopefully, I'll get the tablet situation figured out soon.

- Yoel OuT ✌

[yoel-o-fellow]

if it's not getting into spoiler territory, what's the event that caused Izammar to break away from the aristocracy?? Or was it a slow-burn of realizing his society kinda sorta sucks???

There is an inciting incident that propels him to cut ties with his fellow Ottos, but you are also correct about the slow burn, lol.

His decision is mostly influenced by a culmination of events. Perhaps he begins wavering when he realizes the rearing of captive naiads is ethically questionable. Or maybe the resurfaced memory of his time at a "re-education" center is enough to disillusion him.

Many factors are at play here - his mother bribing another aristocrat to be his childhood "friend", the intense grooming he endures to be a realm-walker, his parents manipulating him into supplanting his brother, the cutthroat nature of Ottoneshan politics, the amoral missions and experiments he carries out as he spreads Ottoneshan influence...

Maybe I shouldn't give away everything, so I won't divulge what becomes the "final straw" for him, but I can say that it has something to do with his "visions" of Dordorel, his "re-education" and a big betrayal by his own people that leaves him baffled by his own expandability.

I love you so much for indulging me! 😭🙏💚

[yoel-o-fellow]

What does Izammar fear more than anything?

Thanks for the question, anon! 😭🙏 I really appreciate it!

Izammar's fears evolve over time. At first, he is most afraid of Dordorel, an ethereal realm described in the Dualdhic faith as a landscape made from grey decaying flesh, where shriveled heads grow off the knarled fingers of trees, and where a sickly sky of yellows and reds looms over all. Those who are sent to Dordorel by the gods are touched with an aphasic curse, making all language incomprehensible so that they spend their purgatory in aimless isolation and just on the cusp of madness. Izammar believes he has a connection to the place and even has vivid visions of it, but he is uncertain why.

Later, his fear changes from one of a religious nature to one of uncertainty. As time passes, his faith falters, and with the added influence of Zephry's staunch atheism, he begins to wonder if his religious zeal is all for naught - if his otherworldly visions were just the fever dreams of an active imagination. What frightens him most is what a lack of faith and identity means for him and his loved ones in the "afterlife". He hates the uncertainty of it all.

[yoel-o-fellow]

Obsessed with Izammar rn, so if you have questions about him or any of my characters, I welcome them with open arms 🙌

[yoel-o-fellow]

💚���🔥

A gift for my amazing friend @yoel-o-fellow. I had another bout of obsession with Izammar's family, so OBVIOUSLY I had to draw them all. Hope y'all love this family as much as I do 💖💖💖

[yoel-o-fellow]

Finally got around to making a Cara account. :')

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