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writerofthecourt · 4 years ago

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magician’s vow

pairing: suna rintarou x reader

summary: the sequel to beautiful illusionist

warning: slight time skip spoilers, some swearing, slight alcohol consumption

a/n: inspired by the songs lemon and eine kleine by yonezu kenshi. i wanted this sequel to be a lot more introspective and suna-focused. i hope you guys enjoy

EDIT: the series’ masterlist can be found here

“I like you.”

“…Eh?”

Suna watched in amusement as you stared back at him with confusion swirling in your eyes. He could practically see the gears turning in your head as you slowly processed his words before your pretty face started to heat up in embarrassment.

The two of you were currently sitting on the bench, lost in the flow of your own conversation as the other Inarizaki volleyball club members all lounged around the gym, trying to catch their breaths before they had to return to their grueling practice.

“Since when?” you inquired, shyly peeking at Suna through your lashes.

“For a while now,” he admitted with a shrug. The tall middle blocker couldn’t help but grin in response to your now timid smile. He found it hard to look away, enamoured by the sparkle of your eyes and the cute expression on your face.

“I-I like you too,” you stuttered out, turning to fully face Suna.

“So it’s a date then?” Suna asked as he tried to mask the undertone of eagerness in his voice.

You only giggled before answering his question with an enthusiastic nod. “Yeah, it’s a date!”

Suna frowned as the memory came to an end. Sitting alone at the dining room table, he rested his head on the back of the chair and loosely held a can of beer in hand as he waited for the alcohol to take effect. It was times like these where Suna cursed his high alcohol tolerance.

He used to take pride in it back when he and Atsumu would visit home and go out drinking with Osamu at the local izakayas. He would laugh at Atsumu’s inability to handle his alcohol after only a few drinks, but now Suna found himself envying the blond idiot, as all he wanted was for the numbness to consume him.

He had broken up with Minami nearly two weeks ago, the day after you had left him. It was a messy break up, if Suna could even call it that. There was a lot of screaming and cursing involved, with Minami eventually handing in her resignation letter. Suna would have guessed that she got tired of being around his presence, and he would say that the feeling was mutual. He could no longer stand the sight of Minami, not when all she did was remind him of his regrets and failures.

Taking another gulp of his beer, Suna’s thoughts soon turned to you and the baby. Were you okay? Were you safe? Was the baby healthy? All these questions lingered in Suna’s head, repeating over and over again like a broken record player.

Despite his best efforts to contact you again, it seemed as if you had just disappeared off the face of the Earth. Your number was disconnected, and you were no longer working at your company. It was almost as if your very existence in Suna’s life was nothing more than a beautiful, fleeting dream, and now that you were gone, he was only left with his memories of you.

A series of loud knocks on the front door soon brought Suna out of his pitiful thoughts. Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Suna set down his beer and lethargically went to answer the door, squashing the faint glimmer of hope in the back of his head telling him that it could be you.

“Oi, Suna, open up! I know yer fuckin’ in there!”

The hell? Atsumu? Suna thought as he reached for the door knob.

Opening the front door, Suna had no time to say anything before the door was violently pushed back by an angry Atsumu, his brother standing not too far behind him.

“Yer a real bastard, y’know that?” Atsumu snarled as he pushed past Suna and stomped his way into the living room. Osamu simply said nothing as he glared at Suna before following after his twin.

“Well, hello to you too,” Suna drawled out sarcastically. “It’s only one in the morning, but would you like some tea? Some snacks to go with it?”

Closing the door behind him, Suna made his way into the living room as well, only to see Atsumu pacing around in circles, while Osamu silently stood next to the couch. After some more pacing, Atsumu angrily grabbed at his dyed locks before pointing at Suna with a scalding glare.

“I trusted ya! I fuckin’ trusted ya!” Atsumu shouted furiously. “When ya came to me and ‘Samu asking for our blessings, I believed in ya! All she did was love and care for ya, and this is how ya repay her?!”

Unable to respond, Suna could only hesitantly look away in shame. He couldn’t retort and sass Atsumu back like he usually would. The blond said nothing but the truth.

“‘Tsumu, calm down,” Osamu sighed in exasperation. “Yer gonna wake up the whole damn neighbourhood.”

“Calm down? Calm down?!” Atsumu asked hysterically, turning to his brother. “How can I stay calm after what he did! Aren’tcha angry, ‘Samu?!”

“Practically seething,” Osamu said sharply. “But do ya really want someone calling the cops on us for a noise complaint?”

As the brothers began to get into their own argument, Suna spoke up bitterly, trying to save face. “I don’t see how it’s any of your guys’ business. [Y/N] is a grown woman. She can handle herself.”

The twins promptly stopped their argument after Suna’s bold claim, silently redirecting their gazes to glare at him. Osamu was the first one to move, marching up to Suna with a dark look in his eyes.

“None of my business, huh?” Osamu asked mockingly before he delivered a harsh shove to Suna’s shoulder. “Were ya there to pick her up from the train station when she arrived in Hyogo in tears?”

Shoving Suna again, Osamu continued his barrage. “Were ya there to comfort her as she cried, thinking that her relationship failed because she wasn’t good enough?”

Another shove. “Were ya there to listen to her while she confided about how absolutely terrified she is to raise a child all on her own?”

With one final shove, Osamu had Suna stumbling back into the wall, his arms crossed rigidly as he pinned Suna in place with a seething glare.

“The moment ya fucked up, it became my business,” Osamu grounded out through clenched teeth.

Suna could do nothing but stare back at Osamu, unable to find the right words as he continued to suffer under the harsh scrutiny of his former classmate. He could handle Atsumu’s loud hysteria, but Osamu’s cold and calculated jabs only made Suna want to wither away in guilt.

“Out of respect for whatever friendship we have left, I’ll give ya one last warning,” Osamu stated coldly. “I won’t stop ya from seeking her out, but know that the moment ya do, I will be there to stop ya. Ya will never—ever—hurt [Y/N] again, and if ya do, I will absolutely destroy ya.”

With those last chilling words, Osamu silently marched out of the house, leaving a stunned Suna and Atsumu behind in his wake.

“W-what he said,” Atsumu stuttered, suddenly terrified of his brother’s newly established rage. Quickly making his exit as well, Atsumu soundly shut the door behind him as he left Suna to think about what had just happened.

Suddenly feeling exhausted, Suna slid down to the floor and ran his hands through his hair. He reflected on how fucked up his life had become and how he had no one to blame for it but himself.

Suna sighed as he locked the front door behind him before going through his usual routine of hanging up his jacket and slipping off his shoes. It was late at night, and he had just returned home from a game against the MSBY Black Jackals. It was a tough match, a highly anticipated one, and now that it was finally over, Suna couldn’t be any more relieved.

For the past few days, this game had been the talk of social media in the world of volleyball, with the fans being beyond excited to see two highly skilled Division 1 teams face off against each other. However, for the tall middle blocker, the recently concluded game only served as an awkward and bitter reunion between him and a certain blond setter.

“A whole year later and he’s still acting this way,” Suna mumbled as he thought back to Atsumu’s clipped formalities and passive aggressive remarks. “But I guess I can’t really blame him.”

Making his way into the house, the gloomy ambiance and empty hallways that greeted Suna were an all too familiar and tragic sight. As he stepped across the genkan, Suna couldn’t help but hear the faint and nostalgic sound of your voice, reminiscent of swaying wind chimes as you welcomed him back after a long time at work.

“Welcome home, Rintarou!”

“I’m home,” Suna said numbly.

Walking into the kitchen, Suna poured himself a glass of water before taking a seat at the dining room table. As he dropped his heavy gym bag onto the floor next to him, a thud rang out before everything returned to silence once again. Suna sombrely smiled, finding an odd sense of comfort in the loud noise. It made the house seem less empty now that you were no longer here to occupy the halls with your joyous laughter.

With nothing but his thoughts to keep him company, Suna began to wonder if this was how you felt as you spent those long, lonely nights waiting for him to come home. As his mind thought back to all of those missed dinners and late night practices he had lied about in order to spend time with Minami, his chest only filled with more dread. He truly was everything Atsumu and Osamu made him out to be.

Suna frowned before quickly finishing off his glass of water. Placing it into the sink, he picked up his gym bag and headed off towards the bedroom to retire for the night. After a quick shower and change of clothes, Suna lifelessly lay in bed, his hand outstretched as his fingers mindlessly traced up and down the cold bed sheets. His mind was restless as various thoughts and questions occupied his head, keeping him awake despite his physical fatigue.

What were you doing right now? Were you thinking of him?

As Suna rolled over to cross his arms over his eyes, the little self-deprecating voice in the back of his head added to the flame. It mockingly told him that he had everything he could have ever possibly wanted in life, so why did he throw it all away?

Sitting up to lean against the headboard, Suna knew that there was no use in trying to fall asleep at this point. His mind was too cluttered, and it raged on like a violent storm of regret and desperate longing. Turning to his bedside table, Suna switched on the lamp and reached into one of the drawers to pull out a torn and weathered envelope. Despite its sad state, it was an item that brought him immense hope and comfort.

Taking out a letter and photo, Suna found himself smiling as he gently traced the letter’s familiar handwriting before he began to read it.

Dear Suna-san,

I know this letter is a little bit unexpected, but I felt the need to write to you. How are you? I hope that you’re eating well and taking good care of yourself. It’s been a year since we parted ways, but it still feels so strange to be back home in Hyogo. At first, my parents were disappointed to learn we had broken off our engagement due to…personal reasons, especially considering the condition I was in. However, I am happy to report that they were still very much supportive of me in the end. I’ve recently started my new job at a local department store, and I’m also planning to move into a bigger apartment soon. So please, don’t worry about me. I’m doing just fine.

I heard from ‘Samu that the two of you are still not on regular speaking terms. I’m sorry about what happened between you, him, and ‘Tsumu. I never wanted to get in the way of your friendship like that…I hope one day that the three of you can all be friends again. Despite how much you always complain about those two, I know that you also deeply care about them.

On a happier note, there’s someone that I want to introduce to you. His name is Akio. Isn’t he the cutest?

Switching to the attached photo, Suna couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the proud grin on your face as you cradled a sleeping baby close to your chest. Your hair was a mess, and your eyes seemed more tired than usual, but Suna still thought that you looked breathtakingly beautiful.

He was born only a few months ago, but he already takes so much after you. ‘Tsumu was absolutely devastated when he tried to hold Akio for the first time, and Akio just wouldn’t stop crying. I guess it runs in the family, huh?

If I’m being honest, I do miss you sometimes…but I’m also too scared to see you right now. Will you even read this letter? Have you moved on with your life and forgotten about us? About me and Akio? All these doubts and questions keep running through my head, and a part of my hopes that you have moved on.

I’ve met someone new. He’s very kind, charming, and funny, yet in spite of all these things, I still can’t help but feel guilty, almost as if I didn’t try hard enough to keep our little family together. Despite everything that has happened between us, I continue to hope and dream that we can still someday be a family. I don’t think that we can ever go back to the way we used to be, but I do want you to be a part of Akio’s life. I’m still not ready to see you right now, but please wait for me and Akio. When I find the strength to do so, I’ll come find you, Rintarou.

Sincerely,

Miya [Y/N].

Suna only smiled, unbothered by the tears that escaped his eyes as he finished reading your letter. He proceeded to fold the piece of paper back up before pausing to look at the photo of you and Akio one last time. As he continued to gaze at the photo, Suna’s eyes softened, and his heart began to fill with love and adoration. He truly was a fool to have ever let you go.

Returning everything to its proper place, Suna curled up into the blanket, feeling at ease for the first time since he had arrived home. As he closed his eyes, Suna patiently waited for the day to come when he could finally welcome you back into his life. Perhaps not as a lover, but as a friend. For both you and Akio, he was willing to wait a whole lifetime and more. Drifting off to sleep, Suna slept soundly for the rest of the night.

fun fact: akio’s name is written with the characters for ‘bright/luminous, male’, and [y/n]’s new boyfriend is bokuto. it started with atsumu, and it ended with atsumu

taglist: @itsjuliaaa

#suna rintarou x reader #suna x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #suna rintarou #miya osamu #miya atsumu #beautiful illusionist

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haikyuuwaifu · 4 years ago

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MASTER LIST

This is a collective Masterlist of ALL my CURRENT Works:

*👻🎃HALLOWEEN SPECIAL MINI-SMAU*

BARISTA BEAUTY: KATSUKI X READER

How do two strangers who seemingly spend ZERO time together end up with their true Happily Ever After? Through anonymous texting or nosy best friends that don’t know how to mind their own business?

STRANGER DANGER: BOKUTO X READER

Join Bokuto as he tries harder NOT to fall in love with the mysterious Y/N forgetting about the competition entirely. And join Y/N as she finds herself falling for the most genuine idiot she’s ever met.

SMAU: BNHA & HAIKYUU

BNHA

Dynamite:

At 23 with a solo career going nowhere, Katsuki’s management group Endeavor wants to put together a rival idol group known as Ground Zero consisting of his old groupmates minus the two traitors and a few new additions in the forms of Hitoshi Shinsou, Keigo Takami, and Toya Todoroki (A.k.a Dabi). Their manager Shigaraki thinks this combination of men has what it takes to be better than DK, but Shinsou knows they won’t be able to do it without Y/N.

Y/N is one of the most sought after designers in the business. Pushing her love of music aside she pushed her creativity into a different wheelhouse. With lots of begging and pleading from childhood friends Hitoshi and Jirou, Y/N is hired on to help “re-brand” Ground Zero.

Does Ground Zero stand a chance against the formidable and VERY popular DK? Or will someone come along to show Katsuki a whole new sound?

Will Y/N forever hate idols and pop beats, or will one angry gremlin show here that there’s more to him than the Idol stereotype?

GIRLS NEED LOVE: BAKUGO X DABI X SHINSOU X READER

At the age of 18, Y/N L/N followed her boyfriend out of their small town of Shirakawa, only to find herself ditched and abandoned in the streets of Mustafu. Broke and Alone, she managed to find a place that would take her in. 3 years later found Y/N, L/N working as the best dancer in the Diamond Client Agency; an elite corporation of clubs strictly for the Hero Elite. Her evening activities consisted of dancing and stripping for heroes and the rich elite. Her day hours consisted of her working on her writing. She wrote articles for the local papers. She had always wanted to write her own stories; since her dream of being a hero was never allowed to come to fruition.

By day, they were Pro Heros: Ground Zero, Mind Jack, and Touya. They had spent the last 5 years in a relationship with the woman they thought they’d spend forever with. Too bad she was only with them to boost up her own ranking. Following the heartbreak the three of them decided they didn’t need anything serious. They didn’t plan for anything serious when they saw her dancing, at a Diamond event. They didn’t plan for anything serious when the event was attacked. But love happens unexpectedly doesn’t it? Especially when love comes in the form of a woman fully encased in Magma.

ROCKABYE: BAKUGO X READER X SHINSOU

How does a single mom who has worked for everything, handle becoming the center of attention for two stubborn business men who only want to give her the world? How do two business men with checkered pasts handle a woman who has a history of her own?

This is Rockabye <3

TRIP: HAWKS X READER X BAKUGO X SHOTO X SHINSOU POLY

Keigo Takami is the owner and operator of Commission Tattoos, one of the hottest shops in the city. Out of nowhere a new shop has opened conveniently enough across the street and he and his boys can’t seem to stand the competition.

Y/N Midoriya ,Tattooist from the small city of Mustafu, has moved her entire life to Tokyo with her friends. Opening Midi’s Tattoos & Piercings seems like a good first step in a big flourishing city like Tokyo. Throw in the sexy competition across the way and you’ve got yourself a party!

Follow Y/N as she tries to navigate her way through big city life, boujie Tokyo city girls, and four men who don’t know how to handle a woman like her. Follow the employees of Midi’s and Commission as they try to maneuver sad single life, chaotic lesbianism, and their bosses aggressively hate flirting all under the sprawling Tokyo skylights.

WHAT YOU KNOW BOUT LOVE BAKUGO X READER X SHOTO POLY

Y/N L/N has been Katsuki’s best friend their entire lives. Izuku Midoriya found the nerve to confess to her in high school, and Katsuki stepped aside just so his best girl could be happy. Moving to the US for a one in a million opportunity; Y/N’s relationship flourished as Katsuki’s career blew up.

Years later finds Y/N dumping her trash ex Deku, and Katsuki moving the Agency he created back to Japan, so he and Shoto can finally get the fucking girl. Too bad Y/N is clueless, and outside forces are doing all they can to keep them apart ;)

HAIKYUU

BAD BLOOD: READER X POLY RELATIONSHIP

Y/N, L/N had big dreams of being a content creator. Alongside her boyfriend they made their own channels and started thriving. Success breeds jealous and due to devastating betrayal Y/N shut down her channel, packed up her bags, and left Japan.

Now, 4 years later at the annoying insistence of her best friend, her cousin, and his annoying boyfriend; Y/N is moving back to Japan and into the ‘Kozume Hype House’. Living under the same roof as her besties boyfriend, her old childhood friend, a dumbass named Lev; and four of the hottest streamers in Japan is going to be a wild ride for Y/N.

Mix in Y/N’s ex, 4 men falling for her, and her no dating rule; and you’re in for a world of sweet chaotic drama.

BROKE ME FIRST: TSUKISHIMA X READER X IWAZUMI

You have known Tsukishima Kei your entire life. You went to the same schools all your life. Graduating middle school gave you the break you needed until you saw a familiar head of blonde hair on your first day at Kurasuno. You’ve spent every school year hating the others existence. What happens when you’re partnered together and have no choice but to cooperate for the sake of your graduation?

BOYS WITH LUV: F READER X ???

Y/N L/N is an athletic trainer recently moved back to Japan after spending 6 years in the U.S. As much as she loves her friends; what she can’t handle is their constant need to “find her a man”. Join Y/N as she navigates her way through dealing with ex-boyfriends, old crushes, and new found love interests; all while trying to navigate her life in Japan and finishing her athletic trainer qualifications.

Who’s ready for this fucking circus?

DADDY ISSUES: IWAZUMI X READER

Hajime Iwaizumi: Male Escort hired by skinny twig models for arm candy and a good fucking. This man can have any woman he wants, but he has specific rules for the women who hire him. No kissing on the lips. No catching Feelings. And No spending the night.

Y/N L/N: A model considered “Plus Size” because she doesn’t fit the alleged mold of Size 6 and below. A woman who is confident in herself and her body. She is a woman who proves every day that she doesn’t need a man by her side to get that money.

After Y/N is involved in a scandal surrounding her former FWB Tsukishima Kei, Iwaizumi Hajime begins to take notice of all things surrounding and pertaining to HER. Her work ethic, her confidence, her ability to push the haters off with a smile on her pretty face and a flutter of her eye lashes. She’s everything he’s ever wanted in a woman…

But can he show her that he’s everything she needs in a man? How can he prove he’s the man for her when she knows what he’s done to plenty of models who didn’t fit HER MOLD?

Guess you’ll just have to stick around and find out huh?;)

FEEL MY LOVE: KUROO X READER

Kuroo Tetsuro had never been very outgoing. He was shy and awkward for most of his life. The only time he seemed to be pulled out of his shell was when he was on the Volleyball Court. High School Volleyball had been the highlight of his life. Until he met Akane. Akane was everything to him. Pretty, Smart, Popular…He couldn’t believe a guy like him could land a girl like her…Until she humiliated him in front of every person in the school.

From that moment forward Kuroo kept to himself, sticking only to his closest friends. Head ducked down, he graduated high school and upon entering Tokyo University, he was determined to make things different…Until he was faced with his high school tormentors…he resigned to the fact that college would be just like high school…and then he met you.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S: SUNA X READER

Suna Rintaro was traded from the EJP Raijin, to the MSBY Black Jackals thanks to an incident involving [redacted]. He was pretty sure he was done with any dating after the shit he went through before. Atsumu and Bokuto had other plans, and decided that the perfect woman for him was only a few blocks away.

Y/N Kageyama has spent her entire life surrounded by volleyball. Her best friend growing up was Ushijima Wakatoshi; Her little Brother is Kageyama Tobio; and the idiots she babysits include the Seijoh three + Iwaizumi. It’s no wonder she’s interested in Volleyball Players…too bad Ushijima always manages to step in and send the wrong message huh?

GIRLS LIKE YOU: READER X OSAMU X KIYOOMI X BOKUTO X OIKAWA POLY

Y/N L/N: 24 year old single mother to twin four year old girls Mochi and Matcha. Advertisement Executive by day and super mama by night; Y/N has been raising her babies with the help of her friends alone for the last four years. As soon as she thinks she has things handled, she’s thrown for a loop when her twins attempt to play match maker four times over with the help of their uncles and aunties; unable to say no to their precious babies.

Follow the three L/N women as one mama learns that she doesn’t need to do it alone; and two girls learn what it really means to have a father...four fathers ;)

MISS INDEPENDENT: KENMA X OSAMU X SUNA X READER

3 of Tokyo elites most notorious playboys find themselves tiring of the same routine day in and day out. Each with their own stories of heartbreak. How does one step out of what they’ve been doing for what feels like forever? One woman, tired of celebrating milestones, and vacationing alone; ready to take that step again....

When you throw in a meddling best friend, an idiot twin, and a clusterfuck of idiot children; it can only result in one thing...complete and utter chaos, but will Y/N and the 3 playboys finally find happiness in that chaos?

Depends on if all the meddling is helpful or not ;) Stick around and find out yeah?

SMILE: OSAMU X READER

Y/N and Kuroo were together for three blissful years.The day of graduation she finds herself in tears as she listens to Kuroo tell her that the last three years were a waste of time. With a wave of his hand he walked away and out of her life. Moving to Miyagi she found a group of friends to support her and pick up the pieces. 3 years later Y/N finds herself at Tokyo University. As a new woman with a new attitude; will she run into Kuroo and the chaos he brings with him? Or will someone else come along and show her what love truly feels like?

WRITTEN WORKS:

BEFORE YOU GO

BROKEN PROMISE

DANCE WITH ME

FEEL SOMETHING

SELFISH

IT’S YOU

SAD SUNDAYS:

#haikyuu masterlist #bnha masterlist #smau masterlist #haikyuu smau masterlist #bnha smau masterlist

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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago

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Kick Some Ghost Ass

”Until Dawn Gang x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing, Sex jokes (excuse my bad humor)

Genre: CRACK, Humor

Summary: It’s one thing when trouble finds this gang, but why don’t we take a look at what happens when they go actively looking for trouble. Needless to say, chaos ensues and no one is spared. Some are more affected than others, and some are dead-ass traumatized, but isn’t that just how life is in general?

Requested by my dearest ever - Until Dawn Anon. Hi lovely! I’ve missed writing your requests and I’m really happy to be back, creating another chaotic fic! I’m sorry it has taken me so long to post it but here it finally is - crazy as ever! I hope you enjoy it! Love you to Blackwood Pines and back baby ❤❤❤

I don’t know how I’ve found myself in this situation but I’m not complaining. If I get to do dumb crazy shenanigans with my crew, I’m ready for just about anything. Not to mention I’m no stranger to ghost hunting. I’m that kid that made DIY Ouija boards and took them to cemeteries with their terrified friends. You should’ve seen us leaving after capturing no ghostly activity - my friends relieved as fuck, and me pissed as fuck.

But today, I’m not expecting nor will I be accepting any disappointment. Especially not with Jess swearing on her Chanel purse that she wasn’t making things up when she said she had a haunted house she wanted us to visit. I must say, I appreciate this group’s enthusiasm when it comes to the paranormal. Never have I had someone who catches my vibe on the subject so well, let alone an entire gang all sharing the same opinion as me - that ghosts, demons and poltergeists are so fucking cool. Sure, Emily took a bit of convincing and Jess is not one to give a shit about the other world creatures invisible to the human eye, but something allegedly happened that changed her mind.

Her a-hundred-and-something-year-old great-grandmother passed away recently and though the death itself didn’t shake Jess up as much as it probably should’ve, the events that followed led to this moment right now - the eleven of us pooling out of two minivans that have pulled up to a terrifying looking house in a wooded are of the suburbs. Jess literally gathered us all on an ‘emergency meeting’ in the courtyard of our college just so she could explain the situation in detail - she doesn’t do well with explaining things in general, let alone when she’s hysterical - so we only understood what she was trying to say when she mentioned the word ‘ghost’. That��s when we all started listening more closely, with the exception of Emily, Beth and Sam but the latter two were intrigued despite trying yo hide it. You can only imagine how excited Josh, Chris and I were, Mike and Matt following a close second behind. Ash was a tiny bit more hesitant but Chris convinced her to give in. And just like that, a week later, here we are.

“I gotta ask, did your great-gran own a VHS player? Or a chest in the attic? Bonus points if there’s a creepy, child-sized doll in there.“ Josh asks as he yanks all the equipment he insisted we bring out of the trunk of the minivan.

“Quit fucking around, Josh! This is serious!“ Jess complains from the spot she’s standing in, shivering in the cold autumn breeze.

“Yeah, Josh! VHS players, creepy dolls, that’s all child’s play.“ I scold him as I pull on my jacket, wrapping it around me more tightly, “Shit gets serious when there’s a secret basement.“

“Y/N!“ Jess shrieks in exasperation. Honesty, how am I supposed to NOT bother her when doing the opposite is so much easier and brings more amusement? “You’re not helping!“

“Wasn’t trying to.“ I wink at her, driving her into a new level of fury that almost leads her to chuck her phone at me. If it weren’t such a prized possession of hers, I’m pretty sure she would’ve chucked it with the intention of knocking me dead. I’m lucky she has the aim of a drunk toddler that spun around fifteen times.

“Hey, quit pissing my girlfriend off, will ya?!“ Mike, who is basically halfway inside the trunk of the other van calls out to us.

I roll my eyes but choose to let it slide. However, someone else doesn’t. Emily does a dramatic turn on her heel, turning to face Mike, or at least the only part of him which is visible. You can imagine how hard it is arguing with an ass like THAT. I don’t know how Emily does it but oh well, I guess I do it too, in a way.

“So it’s girlfriend now, huh? No space between the words?“ Oh that smile she’s flashing him, it could make the Devil himself shiver. I find it kinda hot though - it means shit’s about to go down or hit the fan, either way, the rest of us will be entertained.

Mikey boy straightens up, gracing the rest of us by-standers with his dazzling features. Nah, I’m capping. I honestly think Mike is as attractive as I am patient - very little, almost not at all. It’s surprising how him and Jess are now apparently together since I always pegged her to be the superficial type.

“Got a problem with that, Em?“ He asks, eyebrow raising, head tilting to the side. Oh yeah, it’s on now. But, as someone who’s been quite excited to do some ghost hunting, and also as a representative of the peanut gallery formed of the rest of us who find it amusing and annoying, I feel the need to cut it short before it goes where it shouldn’t. I came to see some exorcist shit, not Keeping Up With The Bitter Exs.

“Jess, I sure hope your grandma is a blood-thirsty ghost cause I can think of at least two people I’d serve to her on a silver platter.“ I snatch the keys the blond has been jingling nervously between her fingers and jog up the stairs to the front door.

Ok I maybe overexaggerated the eeriness of the house. It sure wouldn’t sit right with you if you saw it around sunset or at night, especially not if it’s foggy, but a horror movie house it is most certainly isn’t. It’s pristine and well kept, not a single crack in the walls, the only reason it’s unsettling is because: 1) We’ve all seen a few too many horror movies; 2) There’s been reports of ‘ghostly activity’ - as far as Jess is to be trusted.

While I’m surfing through all the keys, checking each and every single one of them on the door because the real key is unmarked, I can’t help but overhear the conversation going on behind me on the porch.

“Can you believe we got all this in a single day and for a discount on top of all?! Whoever says Craigslist sucks isn’t doing it right.“ Chris’ enthusiasm over the deal him and Josh got on the ghost hunting equipment has been what’s keeping a wide grin on his face this whole time. Though I’m proud of my boys for not getting murdered by the Craigslist seller, I must say I hate that I lost the bet we had - I had to pay them each ten bucks if they didn’t get scammed/kidnapped/murdered and I’m now twenty bucks poorer. I’m not saying I value those twenty bucks more than my friends, though my broke ass needs all the bucks it has and all the dollar bills it could get, but Lord knows I hate losing.

“Yeah, and the guy was only mildly sketchy.“ Josh adds just as excitedly and proudly, “To be honest, Cochise and I were probably the scary looking ones in that parking lot.“

A look over my shoulder shows the twins, Sam, Matt and Ash giving the duo skeptical and somewhat disappointing looks and shakes of their heads. I’ll admit, the equipment is in very good condition and it’s the complete set for ghost-hunting, according to BuzzFeed at least. I’m impressed with the purchase - probably had something to do with how scary Chris and Josh actually look. The all-nighters we’ve all been pulling lately have taken a toll on them worst with the dark circles and bags under their hollow eyes, pale faces and brains turned to mush. I know I’d give them a discount to avoid them pulling out meat cleavers on me.

“That’s all fine and dandy guys, but do you know how to work any of this?“ Sam asks, hesitantly lifting the EMF reader and turning it in her hand, analyzing it with a curious gaze.

Josh and Chris exchange a look before the former replies, “Just the cameras and voice recorder, the rest falls on them.” He points a finger at me and laughs, “Though they aren’t able to work something as simple as keys, they are more than qualified to be a ghostbuster.”

“You know, Josh, jokes on you, I can work keys! Jess, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be able to work well with organizing things, hence my problem with these keys.“ I hurl the bunch of keys connected my a scarlet keychain at Josh, “Lemme demonstrate my true skills.“ I hop down the flight of stone stairs and approach the pile of equipment the guys have created smack-dab in the middle of the house’s driveway.

“Oh, I gotta see this!” Mr. Ex-Class-President all but runs over, frowning when we all turn to look at him just as I pick up the spirit box to show off how it works, “Oh that’s what you meant. So you aren’t taking your clothes off?“

Jess and I are alike in one thing - the need we feel to chuck objects at people who piss us off. “You’re girlfriend is, like, right behind you, Munroe. Have some decency!”

“I was gonna enjoy a show as well, but I’m guessing we won’t be getting one.“ The girlfriend in question replies, looking at me quizzically as though that’s gonna convince me into discarding my outfit.

“No, unless you’re a ghost.“ I point the device I’m holding at Mike, “But if your boyfriend here keeps acting up I might turn him into one.“

“That sounds kinda kinky.“ Beth’s comment surprises me. The wink she sends me even more so. “And I kinda like it.“

Ok, ok, ok, hold on.

Flirting with Munroe is one thing, but Beth is a completely different story. I can be threatening Mike with a knife one moment and cracking sex jokes with him over cold beer the next. While Beth actually has the ability to get me flustered and blushing, and my close relationship with her brother doesn’t help. Mother fucker can just whack me upside the head every time he catches me fussing over my silly crush on his sister.

“Ew, you too! Keep it in your pants or at least get a room.“ Emily doesn’t miss a beat when it comes to being herself. She’s truly a garbage bin full of treasure.

“We’d do the latter if SOMEONE could get the door open.” I glare daggers at Josh who is making hopeless attempts at what I was doing earlier - unlocking that damn door.

“I’d be more than happy to come through for you ladies.“ Mike says, getting in a stance of a runner before a race, his body directly opposite the door.

Oh I can’t wait to see where this is going. I SHOULD RECORD IT.

“Mike, it’s still breaking and entering and it’s still against the law even if the person’s dead.“ Sam points out, entering her mother-like mode, ruining the fun and causing me to pout at her. She gives me a look of disappointment - one worse than I’ve ever seen on my parents - so I just shut my trap before she can also express said disappointment through words and have me feeling guilty for the rest of the day.

A loud crash suddenly echoes causing us to turn our heads to look for the source of the terrifyingly startling sound. One glance is all it takes to put our minds at ease and a second one is enough to provoke different reactions in all of us - the broken window telling the story of where Josh has disappeared.

“What did I just say about breaking and entering?!“ Sam shouts after him while the vast majority of us are cracking up like hyaenas. Jess is just gaping at the broken window next to the front door in disbelief. She obviously can’t decide whether to join in on the fun or serve as back-up to Sam. Josh did technically damage private property that’s partially hers, but if you ask me it serves her right for not marking her keys.

“Sorry, I was too busy breaking the window to hear that part of the conversation!“ Josh’s apologetic smile appears on the other side of glassless frame. I can’t tell if he’s genuinely sorry or holding back laughter but either way, he looks innocent enough for Sam to let him off the hook as long as he doesn’t cause any more trouble - in which case: tough luck. Chris, Josh and I are nothing if not troublemakers, especially when we’re together. Chris tones it down when Ash’s around, and the same goes for Josh with Sam while I’m simply problematic regardless of who’s watching. My chaos is untamable, it’s a blessing and a curse and I love it, even though it’s landed me in hot water more than once. It’s nice to be around people on the same wavelength - chaos resides within this group and not a single one of us can hide it.

“At least we have a way in now.“ Ash offers Josh a helping hand in this argument after she recovers from the overwhelming fit of laughter. “I hope the broken window doesn’t anger your gran, Jess.“

The blond snaps out of her trance briefly, “No, she was a very sweet lady, but damn is Josh creative!” She hurries to correct herself, “Destructively creative.”

I hurry to correct her once again, “Chaotically creative.”

“Guys, do you mind coming in? It’s very creepy standing here alone!“ Josh calls out to us, looking over his shoulder at the interior of the house, “I’m expecting to be snatched and dragged to that secret basement we mentioned.“

“Mention it one more time and I swear to God-!“ Jess screams, fists tightened.

Before her angry wrath could crash atop us, we all make our way into the house through the broken window, carefully avoiding the shards of glass strewn about. One step inside and we’re met with the upmost of horror clichés - a drop in temperature. We’re all wearing thick hoodies because the weather outside is chilly in and of itself, but said hoodies aren’t as efficient at holding the house’s cold at bay and away from out skin.

Chris and Matt make their way in last, carrying the equipment consisting of three cameras, flashlights for everyone, an EMF reader, a spirit voice box, a voice recorder and a motion detector. I help them hand a light to each group member as well as a ghost-hunting device before we venture onward.

“If I were your grandma’s ghost, I’d be ten times more pissed about that window. It looks to me like that lady payed a lot of attention to keeping things in order.“ Matt comments while he examines the expensive looking painting hanging in the hallway.

I hear Emily scoff, “Unlike some.” but the remark is said so quickly and quietly I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who heard it.

Jess laughs, “She did like things in order, but she was never as strict as you might think. As I said, she was very sweet.“

“So do you just not take after her at all or were you adopted?“ Emily’s remarks are no longer a mumbled jumble of words, “No, nevermind, of course you’re not adopted. Your parents are smart people, they wouldn’t have chosen you if they had the chance.“

Jess laughs again, much more menacingly this time, causing me to exchange a look with Hannah who’s walking beside me. “Twenty bucks says one of them isn’t making it out of here.” It’s just a matter of time, to be honest. If not the lodge, or any party we’ve ever attended as a group, this haunted house is the perfect opportunity for a murder. We could even argue it was a ghost.

Luckily, the two cats clawing at each other’s throats don’t overhear, “No, my parents aren’t stupid, but your boyfriend clearly is. He chooses to date you! Or are you holding him captive or something.“

Ok that’s enough. I can tolerate a lot of things, but people calling one of my best friends stupid is not something I’m about to put up with, “How dare you call one of my hoes stupid?” I sneer at Jess, eyes narrowing.

“I thought I was your hoe too!“ She fights back, looking almost offended.

“Even more reason you shouldn’t have called him that! I don’t tolerate my hoes not respecting each other.“

I don’t get to see where this argument goes because Ashley’s shriek echoes throughout the hallway, stealing mine as well as the attention of everyone else.

“There’s a ghost in here!“ Making it to the doorway of the room she’s in first, I peak my head inside and see the EMF reader she’s holding going nuts as if it’s detected something.

“Don’t worry, Ash, there’s a dead cactus here. That’s not the ghost we’re looking for, is it?“ Chris, my amazingly bright friend says, quirking an eyebrow suggesting that remark was nothing short of dead-ass serious.

“Chris, darling, that’s not how it works. Cactuses are plants.“ I point out as sweetly as I can as to mask my laughter.

“Don’t the same ghostly rules apply?“ The genuine look of confusion he gives me almost makes me lose it.

“Ok children, leave the room, we need to set up a motion detector to be sure.“ Beth says with a tone that suggests she’s more than over our insanity. Jeez, count on her and Sam to start parenting us through our chaos. They are of high authority, must admit - one genuinely feels bad if they don’t comply to whatever these two girls demand.

We all pile out in the hallway while the twins set up this interesting motion detector with green dots. I don’t know what Jess’ granny looked like, but I bet that even the most unattractive of people would look hella good with this lighting. Thankfully the room is dark enough with the shutters closed and the curtains drawn, allowing the dots to be perfectly visible.

We stare at the minimalistic room littered with fluorescent green dots on every surface for maybe a minute or two but not much happens to the disappointment to some and relief to others. However, as if not wanting to let us down, the ghost makes a shy appearance if the shift of the green dots is anything to go by.

“Oh shit, is that a ghost?“ Chris whispers, sounding as amazed as I feel in this moment.

“It better be.“ I mutter in response, refusing to blink and risk missing anything important.

The sudden presence of the obnoxious noise of the spirit voice box makes us all jump. As I turn my head to glare at whoever’s using it, Josh speaks up. “Are you an attractive ghost?”

“Josh, that’s my great-grandmother, you ass!“ Jess barks with disgust in her voice.

In the meantime, I catch glimpse of Mike rolling up his sleeves. Oh shit, this ain’t good.

“I’ve been waiting for this!“ He shouts victoriously, cracking his knuckles.

Knowing this won’t end well, the first thing I do is snatch the camera from Chris’ hands and turn it on.

“Um, Mike, what do you mean?“ Sam’s back to being concerned, turning to the rest of us when Mike doesn’t give her a response, “What’s he gonna do?“

“Fight it.“ I answer as though it’s the most normal thing to ever have been done, “Or, ash he calls it - kick some ghost ass.“

“A freaking ghost?! He’s gonna try to tussle with something he can’t see?“ I can’t tell if Matt’s tone is disbelief, amusement or disappointment, but I believe he isn’t about to try and stop or dear ex-president in his pursuit and that’s all that matters. I ain’t about to let someone stop whatever’s about to go down from going down.

“That’s still my great-grandmother, you dumbass!“ Jess shrieks with something alike terror.

“Don’t worry Jess, I’m sure she’ll go easy on him.“ I say in an attempt to reassure her but I can’t even be bothered really, I’m too laser-focused on the circus that’s about to take place in front of me.

Mike, as if encouraged by my words, charges into the room. Much to his dismay, before he could even reach the ghost, he’s met with a much more vigorous enemy - the carpet. The rascal trips him up and Mr. Munroe falls flat on his face.

The group stays silent, looking at the glorious aftermath of the glorious fall. Told ya these lights could make everything fabulous. Must say, it’s truly an honor for me to have been able to catch all that on tape.

“10/10, would ghost-hunt with Mikey Munroe again.“

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hotel-japanifornia · 5 years ago

Note

What’s your feelings on godot i do feel sorry for him and i don’t hate him but he was a huge prick to Phoenix

Godot is a rather complex character. I like him as a character in general, however the fandom does seem to misunderstand who he is and what his motives are, even his fans.

When we first meet Godot chronologically, we meet him as the defense lawyer, Diego Armando. Diego is honestly pretty charming, he’s smooth, he’s confident, he’s cool, and I like the way he plays off of Mia. I personally never found the “kitten” nickname sexist nor do I understand why it would even be considered that way. It’s never said once that Diego doesn’t think Mia is lesser for her gender. In fact, in their first conversation during the case, this is said:

Armando:No, no, no… You’ve got it all wrong! Today, YOU’RE the finest! After all, it took an amazing amount of guts to take this case! Imagine… An escaped death row convict for a first client!

If anything, I think the whole kitten thing is probably just his nickname for rookies in general, and not necessarily women. I’ve seen people think it’s his way of flirting with her, and that’s possible too, just not necessarily how I see it. Anyways, at the end of the case, Mia beats herself up because she thinks that she was the reason her client died and Diego gives her this piece of advice:

Armando:Don’t you get it? You can’t cry yet. The only time a lawyer can cry is when it’s all over.

Mia:M-Mr. Armando…

It’s honestly a good piece of advice, and I love how Mia takes inspiration from that quote and uses it towards Phoenix even if it’s said in a different way:

“The toughest of times are when lawyers have to put on their biggest smiles.”

It’s not exactly the same as what Diego said, sure, but it does have the same meaning. In that way at least, you can see the impact he must have left on Mia. Regarding the two’s relationship for a moment, I do think they had just started dating when Diego was poisoned. It does explain why Grossberg calls Diego Mia’s boyfriend, but I digress.

When we meet him in 3-2 and 3-3, it’s obvious he dislikes Phoenix but we don’t know why yet. Honestly, Godot is probably one of my favorite parts of 3-2: he’s mysterious and confident, but he also has some goofy moments like when he refers to himself as a legendary prosecutor because he’s never lost a case but he’s also never won one either. I don’t know that it was intended to be funny but it’s always made me snicker a little. He comes off as being a jerk sure but so did Edgeworth and Franziska, and like them, we learn more about Godot and his motivations later on.

Godot in 3-3 is why I can never agree that T&T has a filler case. For one, in 3-3, you learn about Godot’s inability to see red on white when he fails to notice the ketchup on Maggey’s apron. It’s an extremely subtle moment, but it’s given quite a bit of focus so the player could then assume that that unique feature will be important later on. Godot is still mysterious and a jerk but I love the way that he handles Furio and willingly admits to being the one who summoned him to court. Like Nick said after the fact:

(T… Too cool…)

Not only that, but he does manage to have a somewhat nice moment with Phoenix at the end of the case after throwing coffee at him:

Godot:Well done… Trite. I saved my 17th cup of coffee just for you. Savor it… While you watch your caged prey.

While we don’t learn that much more about Godot than we did in 3-2; what we do learn about him plays a very important role in a case later on. 3-3 isn’t directly involved with the Feys at all, but it does have some importance to the overall plot of the game.

We meet Armando in 3-4 which is the first playable case chronologically in the trilogy’s timeline. Right off the bat, we notice he looks similar to Godot, the two even have a similar suit to each other, just different colors and have a similar hairstyle. I’m not entirely sure how many people guessed that Godot and Diego Armando were the same person right away but I think people might have at least thought the two were related at least (I’ve even seen people think that Godot and Diego were identical twins!). As for me, I kinda had a feeling since the two look alike and have the same love for the hot, bitter lady known as coffee.

Godot is extremely important to 3-5. If it wasn’t for him forming a plan to save Maya with Misty and Iris, Maya would be dead. Thing is, I don’t agree that Godot is entirely to blame for not going to the police and bringing the plot to them or just burning the note the whole way through. If the latter had happened, Pearl would have told Morgan she couldn’t find it and Morgan would definitely suspect that something was going on and possibly even relay the plan to Pearl herself. The former happening is unlikely because of reasons that I will go into a bit deeper. Another problem lies in that Misty also shares some of the blame herself but this post isn’t about her so I won’t go deep into it.

We don’t see Godot until the second investigation period when Dusky Bridge has been rebuilt and Phoenix enters the Inner Temple, desperate to find Maya. It’s there that we learn why Godot hates Phoenix so much. Godot blames Phoenix for the murder of Mia Fey. He states that since Phoenix was there at the time, he should have protected her and by failing to do so, he in a sense, killed her. And because Maya is missing at the time, he goes further and says that Phoenix killed Maya indirectly by failing to protect her when she needed it most.

Personally, I find this conversation to be more Godot venting out his frustrations on Phoenix. Think about it, the guy spent 5 years in a coma because a psycho killer poisoned his coffee. He wakes up and he finds out that his girlfriend was murdered while he was in a coma. He feels mad at himself for not being able to protect Mia and thus sought to protect Maya as a way to make amends. While it seems like a weird conversation and just another example of Godot being a douche during one’s first time going through the case; a replay of the case after finishing it helps shed new light on the conversation the two have.

We also learn more about Godot’s inability to see red on white during that same encounter in greater detail. He says that his eyes are messed up and that mask is the only way he can see. Although it’s not much, it is something.

During the first trial portion of the last trial day, Godot starts acting rather strangely. When he learns that there was writing in red on the stone lantern in the Inner Temple Garden, he starts freaking out. Not only that but he actually helps calm Phoenix down when he freaks out over Dahlia’s suggestion that Maya jumped into the Eagle River from the Inner Temple side, and tells him that would be impossible to do.

Eventually, after Dahlia has been exorcised from Maya’s body, the Judge attempts to hand down his verdict. Godot immediately objects and says that they still don’t know who killed Misty, and the only person who can testify about that is Maya Fey. Some people have called this move callous and insensitive to the state that Maya is in, but it really isn’t. Godot could have simply let the Judge hand his verdict down and get away with his crime. But he doesn’t, he requests that they summon the one person that could incriminate him. Also, he does show a fair bit of empathy towards Maya in this exchange of dialogue towards her before her first testimony:

Godot:Straighten up this moment, young lady!

Maya:Huh…?

Godot:Pick your head up and speak clearly. There’s always time for crying later.

Maya:B-But I…

Godot:Your mother was killed right in front of your eyes! There’s nothing you can do to change that fact.

Maya:…!

Godot:But there’s something you can do… You can finish this. You’ve been watching the whole thing right? You’ve seen the witnesses come out and you’ve seen us squeeze the truth out of them. Now it’s your turn. …Let’s hear your testimony. On the night of the crime… what exactly did you see happen!?

It’s pretty obvious during Maya’s testimony that she’s willing to protect the identity of whoever killed her mother, even to the point that she begs Phoenix not to reveal his identity and even suggests that she thought it was a man for other reasons than the three red glowing lights. We also get to hear about this one cute little story about an interaction between him and Pearl in which he actually comforted her and gave her coffee. That’s pretty sweet…and kinda dangerous.

Still, it’s quite obvious upon cross-examining Maya that Godot is the killer, so why is she covering up for the man who killed her mother to the point that she’d be found guilty otherwise? Godot did save Maya’s life in the process of killing Misty who was channeling Dahlia at the time and would have killed her if Godot hadn’t intervened. Maya is plenty aware of this and it is in character for her to do something like that.

We also learn through Godot’s self-reflection that he knows that he could have killed Pearl instead of Misty that night and that Misty’s murder was out of a fit of rage against the ghost of the woman who ruined his life. He also goes on to say that he’s not really sure that him saving Maya’s life was out of a genuine will to protect her, and even tells her that if he genuinely wanted to help Maya, he should have gone to Phoenix instead. Despite this, Maya genuinely believes that he wanted to save her life and so does Phoenix even despite the way Godot had treated him up to that point.

Godot is an extremely gray character and it’s really interesting to study him as a character, who he is and what his intentions were. I don’t think he truthfully wanted to kill anyone that night in the Inner Temple Garden, all he wanted to do was protect Maya the way he wanted to protect Mia. He was never willing to actually kill anybody and even helped Phoenix catch him in the end. Iris and Misty both played a role in this plan too and made their own share of screw-ups so I don’t understand why people shift so much of the blame for it onto Godot?

Honestly though, I think that the whole black-white morality lens that people typically view characters through doesn’t really work with characters like Godot. Godot is not a good guy but he’s not a cookie cutter bad guy like some of the culprits in this series seem to be and that’s what makes him so intriguing to me. He’s not my favorite character, but I can see why someone may say he’s their favorite.

#ace attorney #godot #diego armando #ask

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ddaengyoonmin · 5 years ago

Text

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Sci-fi !au; Enemies to lovers!au

Warning: possibly triggering for claustrophobia; swearing, family problems, handjob, fingering, unprotected sex, light biting, hickeys, dirty talk.

A/N: oh my gosh so this was so fun to write. Like just imagine being trapped in such a small space with such a fine man 😩 there’s a lot of dialogue because there isn’t much in the way of scenery but I tried my best to let the reader get a visual on the setting 💜 hope you guys like it! Let me know if you do!!!

Word count: 5.3k

Summary:

Life on this fickle planet a constant fight to survive. Temperatures that fluctuate from freezing to burning up in a single day. Lifeforms on this planet are built to adjust to the boiling heat but when night comes...and the icy wind blows through the buildings, if you aren’t indoors you’re a goner. So when your family kicks you out right before nightfall, they had basically left you for dead. Frantically you run around the streets to get into one of the small heating pods that the city leaves out for emergencies, but with the rate of homelessness going up in your town, just as you feared they were all taken. At the last second as the nightly alarm sounded telling everyone temperatures were about to hit deadly you see an empty pod! At full speed you jump inside and shut the door, unfortunately some rude man jumped in at the same time as you. You both are equally as annoyed with the other for having to share such an already cramped space. Now you have to spend an entire night alone with this stranger while you wait for the heat to come again. He's actually pretty cute...maybe this won't be so bad?

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The heavy metal door to your home was literally just slammed in your face.

“You never carry your weight anymore y/n. You don’t help with rent, and you never cook. You might as well be homeless” your brother was shouting at you as you were getting thrown out of your home.

Your whole body felt numb and your fists were clenched so tightly you felt that you might break your knuckles.

“I’ll die out here!” you screamed.

“You’ll find a pod with the other homeless people y/n” you could see through the small round glass window that was eye level on the door that your brother was rolling his eyes.

“And if I don’t I’ll die! You realize that right? How could you do that to your own sister?” you huffed.

“Should’ve thought of that before you became a deadbeat” he glared, and then slid the metal cover to the window so that you couldn’t see him anymore.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Here on Mercury, every night it gets so cold that you’d literally turn into an ice statues within seconds of the cold hitting. It seemed to come almost on schedule, shifting slightly with the seasons but the town hall always sounded out a 5 minute warning every night.

The cold could literally be seen creeping up over the horizon line and into the city as soon as the sun set. A giant foggy blizzard that would wipe out anything in its path.

You’d encountered some of the unfortunate victims of the cold many times in your life. By the time you’d see them they’d been thawed and it was always a gruesome sight.

Your mother would point and say “That’s why you never go out at night. No matter what. The cold will eat you alive, it’s like a monster”

You shivered just at the thought.

The city provided a limited number of emergency pods for those who might somehow find themselves on the streets at night. You’d heard they were becoming scarce compared to the population of homeless that needed them to survive the night.

The pods were a hard metal with insulation and heating inside that could withstand the freezing night. They were extremely small and laid down with a twin bed size mattress inside, that fit snugly without any more space than that. In height if you were laying down you couldn’t even extend your hands fully up to the sky. It seemed like you’d feel pretty claustrophobic inside of it, but it was your only option.

The sun was almost set and you were in survival mode now. You ran from where your former home is and started to search the streets for an open pod.

If it was unclaimed the hatch would be up in the air and a green light would be shining on the outside.

Closed, red light, next one...closed and red light...and so on down the road.

“Shit.” You cursed under your breath. This is not good.

You try to go down another street and check, all full just like before.

The five minute warning alarm started to ring loudly, startling you and making you realize your situation was becoming more and more hopeless. You were too panicked to even cry.

Then, like a glowing holy grail that you could practically see a heavenly shimmering light shining down on, (maybe it was just a street light…) You saw an open pod. Hatch Open. Green light.

You ran at full speed towards it, jumping and sliding in like a baseball player sliding into home plate.

Instantly as you had performed that acrobatic maneuver another person seemed to have the same idea and had slid in right along side of you, shutting the door behind him.

His chest was heaving and he seemed to be in a sweat.

“Fuck that was close, wait-” he suddenly realized now that you were in there with him. “Shit. Oh my god what are you doing in here?” his eyes widened with confusion.

“I should ask you the same thing?” you yelled annoyed. “I was here first! Go get your own, I can barely be comfortable here alone”

Just as you said that the automatic locks on the pod clicked shut, meaning that it was time for the deadly blizzard to hit, and you wouldn’t be allowed to leave the pod until morning.

“God. Damnit” you groaned.

Frost started to creep over the large clear window that the two of you were staring up with and freezing over and making you blind to the outside world, with a crackling sound that made you nauseous with worry. This was your first time in a pod, and in your home you’d never heard the popping and snapping of everything in the town freezing over in an instant. You had to remind yourself that you were safe in this pod.

There was no room to sit up, only enough room to maybe lift your arms up a bit with your elbows only slightly lifted from your sides. It was so cramped and you could feel the man next to you now pressed against your side.

“You have like at least six inches of room you could move over to, you know.” you turned your head and glared at him.

He simply just scoffed and shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly and bumping his elbow against you as he did.

“Oh my god. I’m stuck here with an asshole” you muttered to yourself.

“Maybe don’t call the asshole an asshole out loud. He can hear you” he narrowed his eyes at you.

“I meant for you to hear.”

There was silence for the next ten minutes. You knew you weren’t going to be sleeping tonight, this guy could be a total creep, so you couldn’t risk it.

He on the other hand was relaxing with his eyes closed. You looked him over for a bit trying to figure out a little bit about the stranger next to you, He seemed about your age, he was actually quite attractive, though him being a rude asshole kind of ruined that thought for you. His hair was jet black, and actually seemed to be styled well considering the running he probably had to do to get to the pod. His clothes were nice, black jeans and a clean expensive looking royal blue hoodie, with a black t-shirt peeking out from underneath it. So he probably wasn’t homeless you deduced from these observations.

How did he end up out here at night? Wrong place wrong time? Kicked out of home like you were? That would be a crazy coincidence.

Out of nowhere his leg spread out to the side and his foot kicked your foot.

“Watch it!” you snapped.

“Deal with it” he said in a high pitched mocking tone.

“I’m sorry are you six years old?” you replied appalled at his immaturity.

He opened his eyes and sent an annoyed look your way.

“Look, we can’t do anything about this situation, but the least you could do is be considerate.” You scolded

“When are you gonna stop talking and let me get some sleep” he groaned and proceeded to stretch out even more, starting to push you into the wall of the pod, squishing you tightly against it.

You gasped and tried to push back but to no avail, he was stronger than you and obviously lacked any sort of common courtesy for others.

It was now more of a 75/25 split of space in the pod with him hogging all of the space. You realized that you’d have to stoop to his level if you wanted to regain some ground here in the pod.

He was playing childish games, so could you. Though you did debate for a second on whether this could pan out badly, you decided...fuck it.

You reached a hand up towards his neck, the only spot on him currently showing skin, and you pinched him hard.

“OW. What the fuck.” His hand shot up to his neck, accidentally hitting his knuckles hard on the ceiling of the pod as he did.

“Move over” you demanded.

“Or you’ll pinch me again? You psycho!” he stared at you in shock as if he wasn’t the one who started it. His face was growing red with rage directed at you and he pinched you back on the arm, making you yelp loudly.

“How do you like it huh?”

“What the actual hell man. Just move over and give me equal space so we can cut this out.”

He sighed and reluctantly moved over just slightly, definitely not giving you half the space, but you were going to take this small victory for now.

It was about another thirty minutes before you spoke again. He seemed to be feeling quite comfortable, while you on the other hand were still pressed tightly against the padded side of the pod. You could turn on your side to give your upper body more room, but usually if you slept on your side you’d curl your legs up slightly to be comfortable, and that was definitely not possible right now.

“Hey.” you poked him in the shoulder.

His eyes flickered open to glance at you, then shut again.

“Hello?” you tried again, poking him harder.

He ignored you, but he was obviously awake and it now had got you fuming.

“You still have all the room” you growled.

He stayed still on his back, his eyes closed and his face relaxed, a small smirk now forming on his lips. “Hmm. Maybe you could lay on top of me and that could give us a little more room”

That earned him a hard smack to the shoulder, and he was lucky he was wearing a sweatshirt cuz it would’ve probably stung if he wasn’t.

“Pervert!” you gasped at him.

“Not a pervert, just trying to be...innovative” he grinned widely.

You shake your head in disbelief at this odd person.

“You are probably the rudest man I’ve ever met in my life” you grumbled.

“Ah, Is my award in the mail?” he joked, finally opening his eyes and staring at you with a teasing look.

You took a deep breath in and out a few times, trying to calm yourself down so you don’t completely try to choke out this man. Just about 8 more hours and you’ll be rid of him, you tried to tell yourself, as if that wasn’t an eternity to be trapped in such a tight enclosure with this piece of work.

“Having trouble breathing? You’re being loud” he complained.

“Just trying convince myself I’d rather not go to jail for murder tonight.” you hissed out at him.

He chuckled at that, of course he did.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t. But there are some that might thank you”

“Why does that not surprise me”

The two of you sat in silence again for a while, until he actually scooted himself away from you a few more inches.

“THANK YOU” you practically screamed.

“Geeze, you’re annoying” he reached his hands up holding his ears, wincing as if you’d deafened him.

Your eyes were narrow slits staring at him now.

A few more minutes of silence.

“I can’t seem to sleep with you right there all obnoxious and whatnot, so...for the sake of boredom. What’s your name sweetheart?” He turned over onto his side facing you, his shoulder only a few inches from the ceiling of the pod.

“Well its most certainly not sweetheart so wipe that one from your vocabulary immediately please” you snapped.

His eyes crinkled with amusement. “Ah It seems I’ve hit a nerve there.”

“Not really, it’s just stupid to asume that you can talk to a girl so flirtatiously when you’ve been nothing but a jerk so far.”

“So what can I call you?”

“Y/n…” you gave it up, though you didn’t quite want to. You crossed your arms over your chest and stared straight up to the bland grey nothingness on the ceiling of the pod.

“Aren’t you going to ask for my name?” he said cutely, but in a way that you knew he was just trying to get under your skin.

You’d been here with him for about an hour, and he was already up there on one of the most annoying people you’d ever encountered. Maybe you were extra sensitive because of the whole family leaving you for dead thing, but that’s not the worst excuse to be on edge is it? And he was the one who was rude first, you were simply returning the attitude he had entered the pod with.

You didn’t quite feel like trying to play nice all of the sudden just because he had gotten bored.

“I’m Yoongi” he said pointing at himself, as if you needed to know where the voice that was mere inches away from you had come from.

“Didn’t ask”

“I know I just figured I knew yours now, so we’re even”

“Kay.” you continued avoiding looking his way.

“Aw c’mon. I was just upset to have to share the pod. I’ve calmed down I’ll be good” he spoke in a sickenly sweet tone as if that could persuade you to forget how much of a dick he had been.

“y/n-ah” he whined cutely.

“Oh my god, I regret telling my name” you groaned finally turning to look at him. “What do you want?”

“I’m just bored, I’m usually in a pod by myself and just sleep, but I can’t seem to sleep...and you’re here so…” He shrugged.

You sighed. “So uh...you sleep in pods often?” maybe you had misjudged him by his nice clothes.

“For the past month or so I have been” his eyes widened and he felt he needed to add, “I have a home though! I’m not one of those homeless deadbeats. My new job is just too far to get home to usually, so on the days I work late I have to hop in one of these”

You were silent for a moment before speaking, “Oh. Well, I am one of those homeless ‘deadbeats’ so that's great to hear your thoughts on that” you frowned. Slightly embarrassed now, not that you wanted to impress him or anything, but the idea that this was your new reality and this was how you’d be thought of was sinking in hard as he spoke those words.

“Shit, uh-” he thought for a moment, trying to come up with a was to back pedal from what he’d said. - “I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t think...You just don’t seem like…” he stuttered out.

“Its fine. It's actually my first day of this lifestyle.” you motioned to the entirety of the pod as best you could.

Yoongi pursed his lips and seemed to have gotten more serious, “Oh, Can I ask what happened?”

You honestly didn’t really want to talk about it with him, but you did want to vent to someone about it, and he was here so, as was becoming the theme for the night...fuck it.

“I lost my job about a year ago and moved back home with my parents and brother. My brother is a doctor and the apple of my parent’s eye. They’d said they would help me get back on my feet. But, uh. I just couldn’t seem to get there. It’s not that I’m lazy” you frowned, Yoongi was surprisingly listening intently and nodding as you spoke. “Well, maybe I could’ve done a bit more to find work. I just struggled a lot with getting my shit together. So I guess they decided they’d had enough. So here I am”

Yoongi’s eyes were wide in disbelief “They just left their own child to the night?”

“Not everyones got a perfect family” you shrugged acting like it was no big deal. When the reality was you were trying your best to hold back tears and not cry in front of this stranger you were confiding in for some reason.

“Yeah, I feel that. I didn’t mean to sound judgemental.” he said apologetically. “And sorry I was being a dick to you. I don’t do well with new people, and I’ve had a shit day...not as bad as yours though, so...sorry if I made it worse,”

You were taken aback by his out of character apology. He now drastically seemed to differ from the man who first hopped into the pod with you.

“Its..okay. I won’t hold it against you I guess” you smiled a bit and turned on your side to face him. He had to maneuver a bit so that you both could lay comfortably face to face, this time he didn’t make it a hassle which was a relief to you.

The two of you ended up chatting for the next couple hours. You learned that Yoongi worked at a large factory that did welding, and helped make the pods, and metal that went on the outside of the houses in the city. He was an only child to parents that lived in another town that was a lot poorer, and he had moved here by himself which was quite the difficult task due to having only about 12 hours to get to the next place where a pod was or risk death. Even now he risked every night that he might not find a pod and be stuck on the streets after a late work shift. He did all of that just so he could send money back to his parents.

It really changed how you thought of him now, he wasn’t as cold, immature and uncaring as he’d first portrayed himself.

You realized now the nicer you found him to be, the more his very apparent attractiveness was affecting you.

You couldn’t help but have your gaze accidentally leave his eyes while he spoke, and travel to his lips. Feeling yourself getting lost in how soft they looked, how much they looked like they’d feel amazing to kiss.

Yoongi was now taking off his sweatshirt and was going to use it to prop his head up a bit while the two of you continued talking.

As he took it off, his black t-shirt underneath slipped up slightly and you were able to see his beautiful pale skinned stomach, toned, with a slight v-line pointing down into his jeans. Small tufts of hair also leading in a trail so your gaze traveled further down that direction, almost as if there was a big flashing sign that said ‘LOOK HERE’. And that you did, biting your lip as you felt a tingle hit right in your lower stomach at the sight.

Yoongi pulled his shirt down as soon as his sweatshirt was off, but you didn’t look away fast enough and you’d been caught checking him out.

You quickly snapped your eyes back up to his face, a slight embarrassment now forming on your face.

Yoongi smirked, knowing exactly what you’d been doing.

“Want me to just ignore that I saw that?” he snickered.

You couldn’t quite find the words to explain yourself, a series of um’s and sorry’s awkwardly spilling out of your mouth.

“No need to be sorry, I’m hot. I know it.” he winked.

There’s that cocky man that hopped into the pod with you. This time you were less bothered by his overconfidence, because...well, he wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, Um...you really are” you said embarrassed and not believing that you were admitting that to his face.

“You’re hot too you know.” he smiled mischievously. “What are the odds two attractive people like us get stuck together like this”

Your face was now burning hot at that compliment. You didn’t think you were by any standard as hot as him.

“Shit, don’t get all awkward about it, I’m just being honest and stating the facts” he laughed.

“I’m not though” you whispered.

“For real? Your last boyfriend didn’t tell you every day how hot you were? I would.” he stated.

“Uh, no” you stammered awkwardly “I haven’t dated since highschool and I wasn’t quite the catch”

“Doubt it” Yoongi said with another smirk “And I’m not just saying that cuz you threatened to kill me earlier” he chuckled

“Well...thanks” you spoke shyly.

Yoongi was now moving closer to you, your faces somehow ever closer than the two of you already were in this cramped space.

“I like your nose” he smiled and booped you with one finger.

Your eyes widened and you got even more bashful. “Ah, no, I’ve always hated my nose”

“But it’s so cute!” he grinned widely.

What the hell is happening. How did your night become this. And why do you never want it to stop. This asshole that you hated, now knows everything about your situation, and he’s still sitting here complimenting you. Maybe he just realized it’s better to be on good terms since you’d still be stuck here together for about 5 more hours.

“Your nose is cuter” you decided to say in return. What’s the harm? And you were just stating the facts.

“Your lips are cute” he replied a bit softer.

“Your eyes are cute” you countered, somehow this was now turning into a game.

“Your voice is cute”

“Your smile is cute”

“Your laugh is cute”

“Your...everything is cute” you giggled.

“I want to fuck you.” he whispered, his eyes now glued to your lips.

You inhaled sharply in surprise.

“Y-you w-what?”

“You heard me” he tilted his head up with confidence as he looked you up and down.

You stared silently and eyes wide as saucers at him.

“You don’t want to?” he cocked an eyebrow up at you.

“I-It’s not that I don’t want to...it’s just, we just met you know?”

“Can you think of a better way to kill the next 5 hours?”

“If it’s just out of boredom that’s gonna be a no from me” you scoffed, realizing that maybe he really wasn’t attracted to you, and was just flattering you for fun.

“Well, honestly, yeah, it’s mostly boredom. But, also you’re really fucking hot and I’ve been hard for the past hour and I usually jack off when I’m in here. So either you just turn the other way while I do that, or…” he grinned at you as he brought a hand up to brush your cheek gently and seductively.

What was tonight’s theme again? Oh yeah...fuck it.

You were closing the space between your lips and his in an instant. Your hand grabbing the back of his neck as you pulled him into frantic kisses. You could feel him smiling into your lips, pleased with his victory.

You felt one of his hands start to cup your breast, squeezing slightly before stopping to slip his hand up your shirt to feel you completely. He took his thumb and index finger and started to roll your hard nipple between them, pinching slightly every once in a while causing a loud moan from you into his mouth.

He seemed to like the noises you were making, trying to repeat movements that caused you to be the most vocal.

You pushed on his chest with your hands slightly, silently asking him to give you some space so you could just take your shirt and bra off completely. He happily obliged, staring at you with eager eyes as you undressed yourself.

You then tugged at the hem of his black t-shirt, requesting that he do the same. He smiled and pulled his t- shirt over his head. You could now fully see him in all his glory, his body was so perfect and just the sight of that v-line and happy trail again had your core start to grow wet with arousal.

“Fuck. You’re so…” you put a hand to his chest, sliding your fingertips down lightly, causing him to shiver under your touch.

He bit his lip, his eyes on your chest as well.

Your hands had reached the button on his jeans and you found yourself scurrying to unbutton them as fast as you could.

Yoongi pulled you in close as you did, planting heavy kisses on your jaw and then your neck.

You finally achieved what you’d been after, pulling his jeans and boxers down enough for his cock to spring free and rest against his abdomen. You wet your lips at the sight.

“I wish I could...taste you, I don’t think I’ll be able to position myself to though” you pouted in disappointment. This small space was really making things difficult.

“Just touch me” he muttered, kissing your neck more and grabbing at your tits.

You did as he said, wrapping a hand tightly around the base of his shaft.

He jerked forward slightly into your touch and let out a small whimper at the feeling of you.

“I want you so fucking badly y/n” he murmured into your ear, then bit down lightly on your lobe.

Now it was your turn to whimper with pleasure.

Your hand started to move up and down stroking Yoongi, he groaned lowly when you made your way to the tip, tightening your hand around him as you stroked up and down.

You stop for a moment and unbutton your pants, slipping your hand down to your soaking core, and tried to gather as much wet as you could on your hand, then grabbing onto Yoongi again.

His eyes bugged out at the sight of you covering him with your wetness.

“Holy shit t-that was h-hot” he moaned as you started pumping his cock now lubricated with your wetness, making your hand glide smoothly around him.

His whole body would lunge forward slightly when your thumb pressed along the underside of his cock and up the tip.

He pressed his lips into yours hungrily as you continued, your tongues meeting inside of your mouth.

His hand was now making its way into your jeans, pulling them down slightly and slipping his hand in past the fabric of your panties. Two fingers were moving along your slit, and Yoongi growled excited when he felt how wet you were.

“You’re really enjoying yourself hm?” he grinned against your lips.

“Mhmm” you moaned. “So much”

One of Yoongi’s fingers started to slip inside of you, you let out a needy moan at the feeling of him pressing into you and curling as he started to move in and out slightly. The tip of his thumb pressing on your clit and moving circles around made you throw your head back in ecstacy.

“Fuck baby, you’re so needy for me. You like how my fingers feel touching your pussy?” he smiled excitedly.

“Shit. Yes! I love it Yoongi!” you practically screamed.

“Fuck, moan my name again baby” he growled, biting his lip and inserting another finger next to the one already inside of you.

“Oh my god Yoongi, that feels so fucking good” your mouth opened widely as you felt yourself speeding towards your orgasm. You continued to stroke his cock the best you could but your pace was unsteady and unfocused.

“Cum on my fingers baby, cum screaming my name”

Yoongi slid his fingers in and out of you rapidly and circled your clit even faster.

“Y-yoongi, I’m gonna cum!” your eyes squeezed tightly shut as you reached your earth shattering high. Still holding his cock in your hand but not moving it.

You continued to let his name fall loudly from your lips as the waves of pleasure flowed through every inch of your body, jerking forward at the sensation of his fingers still moving inside of you while you came.

Yoongi smiled and looked at you in awe, “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Wow.”

He then grabbed your hand and moved you off of him, then turned you so you were laying on your back again. He maneuvered his way on top of you, still so close due to the low ceiling.

He leaned down and took your lip between his teeth and dragged them across your skin, releasing your lip with a groan coming out of his own.

You kicked your jeans and panties off of your legs almost entirely, one leg still had the pants wrapped around your ankle but you couldn’t be bothered to keep going with it as Yoongi eyed you so seductively, almost begging to be inside of you already with just his stare.

He positioned his cock between your folds, sitting at your entrance for a moment.

“You were so tight around my fingers, I don’t know if I’m going to last long inside that perfect pussy”

You closed your eyes and smiled “Fuck me Yoongi, I can’t wait to feel you”

At your words he was pressing his length into you, the wetness allowed him to enter with ease, but your walls gripped onto him tightly.

He moaned so loudly as he entered you, dropping his head into the crook of your neck and leaving a trail of kisses.

He grabbed one of your breasts in his hand and returned to playing with your nipple.

“Ah-Yoongi, Fuck” you whined. Which only encouraged him to speed up his pace thrusting into you, bucking his hips up into you quickly at a pace that almost felt unbearable.

“Fuck baby, take it. You can do it. You’ve been so good for me” he encouraged into your ear.

“Y-yoongi. Its too much, I’m already gonna c-cum again” you whimpered.

“Then cum baby” he raised his head and smirked as he looked down at you under him. Kissing you on the cheek. The sound of your wetness as Yoongi pounded into you was so loud and erotic. You couldn’t take it anymore. You raised your head up as you were on the verge of your high, your mouth found Yoongi’s neck and you sucked hard, scattering marks on him as you did.

Your second orgasm hit like a loud drum, you could feel the vibrations flow through out you and your heart was beating rapidly.

“Damn” Yoongi whispered.

You felt him tense and give a few more hard pumps before he slowed and then quickly pulled out into a plank position.

“y/n” he moaned.

Luckily you got the memo of what he meant and grabbed onto his cock, jerking him off while he twitched and cum spurted out all over your chest, some even reaching up to your neck due to your bad aim.

You started to giggle at that and then Yoongi joined in the laughter as he realized that you had some on your jaw now.

He went to roll off of you and hit his head on his way over.

“Aw shit” he yelled.

Which only made the two of you start to laugh harder. Once you wiped the forming tears in your eyes away and calm yourself down holding your stomach “Yoongi…”

“Hm?” he whispered, now relaxing, naked, with his eyes closed and his hands behind his head, you were cuddled up with your head close to his chest.

“I need to clean up…”

“Ah right” he tossed you his sweater.

“You sure? This is a nice sweater?”

He nodded and smiled. You wipe yourself up and shoved the sweatshirt down by your feet.

“That was so much fun y/n”

You beamed up at him “I had fun too…”

“Come stay with me” he mumbled so low you thought you must’ve misheard him.

“W-what?”

“You have nowhere to go. I’d hate for something to happen to you, not make it to a pod at night or something. Stay in my place”

“I couldn’t possibly do that Yoongi. That’s a lot…”

“It’d just be as roommates, not asking you to marry me or anything” he chuckled “All I ask is that you cook and clean and stuff, I’m pretty shit at that… Can you do that?”

“Fuck yes!” you shouted gleefully.

“Good. Now let’s get some sleep.” He pulled you tightly into him, he was so warm, and so soft, and somehow this asshole ended up being an angel that saved you that night.

Hopefully you can continue to repay him for his kindness.

#outofthisworldseries #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #suga x reader #yoongi smut #sci fi au #bts au #bts x you #yoongi au

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100storiesin2020 · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 6: The First Meeting

Come read on AO3!

Blue anxiously followed Renee into the Foxhole stadium. Renee had come by the Raven boys' dorm at 4:30, offering to ride along to give directions and open up the building for them. She had sat in the backseat with Ronan and Adam, and had surprisingly hit it off with Ronan. Or perhaps it wasn't surprising, with that cross around her neck. Blue was still nervous, though. She was about to meet the whole team of Foxes. These were people that she would be playing with, expected to get along with, spending a lot of time with, perhaps even be friends with.

She hadn't had much practice with friendship yet.

Their footsteps echoed in the empty hallways. Renee was ahead of her, softly speaking with Ronan about local churches. "I know of at least one Catholic church in walking distance, and others in town," she was saying. Behind her Gansey and Adam were bickering about who would buy a toaster for their dorm. They probably didn't realize Ronan would just dream one up for them. Maybe she could talk him into making it orange.

They reached a door, which Renee opened, and the five of them filed in. Everyone else had already arrived. Blue checked her watch to make sure they weren't late, and saw that they were actually five minutes early.

This must be the team lounge, she thought. It wasn't a large room, and the three couches and two chairs made it positively cramped. On the left hand side, Andrew sat next to Neil, the third spot on the couch filled by a dark haired boy who could be no other than Kevin Day. Then there was a chair with Andrew's twin, Aaron. Nicky, Matt, and Dan were sitting on the middle couch. The chair next to them was occupied by a beautiful blond girl who Blue immediately disliked (who needs perfectly curled hair for a sports team meeting?). The third couch was empty.

Gansey immediately strode across the room for Kevin, extending his hand. "Hello! I'm Gansey. You're Kevin Day, right?"

Kevin stood and shook his hand, a perfect plastic smile in place. "That's me. Welcome to the team."

Gansey beamed. "Well thank you! You're a history major, right?"

Kevin kept the plastic composure despite seeming surprised. "Yes, I am."

"Then tell me, Kevin Day. What do you know about Welsh kings?"

Blue rolled her eyes as Kevin Day, Famous Exy Player Extraordinare, launched into a passionate speech about the Celtic countries and languages. Based on the startled looks from most of the other Foxes (Neil and Andrew were unfazed), this wasn't a common occurrence. She noticed Renee giving Matt and Dan a significant look before crossing the room to talk to Andrew. Blue stood there for a moment, unsure what to do with herself, but Ronan had no such inhibitions. He stalked over to the empty couch and sprawled across it like he owned the whole thing.

Adam and Blue smirked at each other before joining Ronan at the couch. Adam pushed Ronan's legs over the side, making room for him to sit. Blue didn't bother. She sat directly on his stomach. This forced a loud grunt out of Ronan before he shoved her off. "Fuck off, maggot." Blue laughed again as Ronan sat up straight, leaving her a proper place on the side of the couch.

As she sat, Nicky grinned at her. "Hi Blue!" he exclaimed. He turned to Adam and Ronan and waggled his eyebrows. "And welcome to the team, hotties!"

Adam, who had been sipping from a water bottle, began to splutter. Ronan thumped him on the back, making everything worse as Adam wheezed and turned red. He finally caught his breath. "Hello to you too..." he trailed off.

"I'm Nicky Hemmick! Sorry to startle you. But you two are both seriously hot."

"I'm going to tell Erik you're flirting again," Aaron warned.

Nicky waved him off. "He knows I love him. Anyway, I'm a backliner and the resident gay icon. Who are you guys?"

Adam and Ronan looked at each other for a quick moment, having one of those exchanges that Blue still didn't know how to read. Adam turned to Nicky first while Ronan glowered. "I'm Adam Parrish, offensive dealer."

"Ronan Lynch, goalie."

Nicky whistled. "You look like you eat babies for breakfast, man."

Blue snorted. "You should see him with his pet raven on his shoulder. It really completes the aesthetic."

This drew the attention of everyone besides Kevin and Gansey, who were still avidly discussing history. "A pet raven, huh?" asked Dan.

Ronan didn't respond. He gave Nicky one of his unsettling, menacing grins. "I don't generally eat babies for breakfast, but one of these days I may make an exception." He leaned forward, making an obvious threat.

Nicky looked terrified. "Oh, okay, cool cool, okay, nice to meet you, I think I'll let these guys introduce themselves." Nicky turned and tried to insert himself into the history conversation, which clearly went over his head. Blue laughed.

"If you find Nicky amusing, then maybe your sense of humor is better than your fashion sense," said the tall blond.

"Excuse me?" asked Blue. "Do you have a problem with my clothes, princess?"

"Well, yeah. You look like a rainbow vomited all over you, and not the way that Nicky usually does."

Blue spluttered. "Just because I don't buy into the patriarchy's dictation of how I should present myself -" she began heatedly, but she was cut off when Ronan stomped on her foot and Renee plopped in to Allison's lap.

"Blue, this is my girlfriend, Allison." Renee gave Allison a soft, but disappointed, look. "She is one of our roommates and I am hoping that you two will get along."

Blue glared at Allison, and if looks could kill they would both be dead. Renee cleared her throat. Allison sighed, seemingly quelled for now, and moved on to the next person on the bench. "So how about you, scary boy? Lynch, was it? You sure have a menacing grin."

Ronan gave her one of those grins. "Is that right?"

"Yeah. It's even creepier than Andrew's lack of emotion, which is saying something."

He scanned the other seats. "We're referring to the midget with the arm bands?" he drawled. Andrew looked back with apparent unfeeling, but Blue wasn't fooled. He'd been watching them this whole time so far, categorizing every move they made, probably weighing them to figure out how much of a threat they may be. She wondered if he thought Ronan was more dangerous than her, or less so.

Blue snorted. "You should know. Hasn't Gansey read you all his notes yet?"

"What notes?" Dan asked.

"Gansey really likes to make detailed notebooks," Adam said.

"He's a major nerd who likes to research anything important to him," Blue added. "You should see the journal. It's a work of art."

"Hey, Dick!" Ronan called, making Gansey wince a bit. "Where's the notebook?"

"Oh, I've got it right here," Gansey said, pulling it out of his backpack. He always carried a backpack these days. He handed the notebook to Ronan, who passed it to Blue, who passed it to Dan.

Dan opened it up and flipped gently through the pages. She turned so that Renee and Allison could see without moving, and Nicky and Matt peered over her shoulder. "You weren't kidding," she said. "This has our heights, our majors, our particular strengths on the court." Andrew stood up from his couch and came behind them as she continued to turn the pages. "Look, it's got newspaper clippings. He's highlighted some comments. Oh, this is the time Neil roasted that reporter."

"Interesting," Andrew drawled, startling everybody on the couch. "Your stalker binder wasn't nearly this pretty, Neil."

Neil laughed and came over to see. "It wasn't intended to be pretty."

Kevin and Gansey finally wandered over, and Dan handed the journal to Kevin. Kevin flipped to the section on himself, of course. Blue knew that it contained official stats, details of the chess piece tattoo, evidence for Kevin's implication that Riko Moriyama broke his hand, and Gansey's own observations of Kevin's playing style. "It says here," Kevin said, "that you think I'm too predictable with my shots."

"I did the math. You aim for the same place about 75% of the time. It's always-"

"The top right corner," Andrew finished, drawing looks from everyone in the room. Neil grinned. Andrew returned Kevin's searching gaze until the taller boy backed down.

"Well, if two of you say that, it must be accurate," Kevin muttered. He turned back to Gansey. "What other observations have you made?"

The team collectively groaned, but Kevin was fortunately silenced by the timely arrival of Wymack. "Nice to see you all again. Anybody dead yet?" He looked around the room and eyed Andrew a bit. "Have a seat, everyone." Everyone resumed their former seats. Blue shoved Gansey onto the couch and sat on his lap, turning sideways to put her feet up on Ronan's lap. He promptly pushed her feet onto the floor again. "Alright, let's keep it this way. Foxes, this is Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch, Blue Sargent, and Richard Gansey the Third."

"Just Gansey, please."

"Just Gansey it is. Did y'all introduce yourselves?" The team gave a chorus of yes, coach. "You all know how the schedule works, and there are no surprises this year. We have practices at 8 am for the next few weeks before school starts. Any more questions? No? Good. You know the drill: physicals and paperwork tonight, practice tomorrow morning." He handed a stack of papers to Dan, who proceeded to pass them out. "Practice tomorrow is at the gym. Do not come here, go to the gym. If you miss practice because you came here, I will kick your ass into next week. That includes you, Freshmen."

The door opened and a very nice looking woman entered. "I see you all survived the summer." She smiled at Blue. "I'm Abby, the team nurse."

"She will be doing the physicals tonight," Wymack said. "You four freshmen are new, so you're up first." He addressed the whole room again. "Don't leave without seeing Abby tonight or you will not get to play this season. Does everyone understand?" He was answered with a chorus of yes, coach. "Good. Who is first?"

Blue got up, since she was on top of Gansey anyway. "I'll be first. Adam, don't let Lynch here pick any fights."

"Shut up, maggot," he replied as she slammed the door behind her and followed Abby down the hall.

*********

Once the freshmen had done their physicals and left for Fox Tower, Nicky turned the conversation to the new people. "So," he began, leaning back on the couch, "Who wants to bet that Adam kid is gay?"

"No way," Allison said. "He was totally checking me out. My money is on straight."

"He could be bi," Renee offered.

"I'll take those odds," Nicky said. "Also, I want to bet that the girl and the history boy are dating."

"Bet pool is closed," Dan said. "Blue already confirmed they are."

"Pity," Allison said. "He's cute." Renee raised an eyebrow. "Hey, I was just looking."

Aaron groaned. "At least I'm not the only straight person on this team anymore."

"What am I, chopped liver?" Dan joked. Aaron rolled his eyes to the sound of laughter from around the room.

"Twenty bucks that Lynch is gay," Andrew said suddenly. Renee matched it, and then others took sides on the pot.

"Time for the big question," Matt said. "How long do we think it will take any of them to figure out Andrew and Neil?"

Bets flew in from around the room. "All year!" (Nicky) "3 months!" (Allison and Kevin) "Christmas!" (Dan) "Spring break!" (Matt and Aaron)

"Two weeks or less," Renee said, smiling sweetly.

#a chainsaw in fox tower #all for the game #aftg #the raven cycle #trc #cdth #blue sargent #renee walker #ronan lynch #adam parrish #andrew minyard #gansey #the foxes #chapter 6

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mobius-prime · 5 years ago

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228. Sonic the Hedgehog #160

Birthday Bash! (Part One): Giving and Receiving

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley! Colors: Jason Jensen

Welcome to the beginning of Ian Flynn's reign, everyone! As many of you will know, Ian is a fan favorite amongst readers of the comics, and for good reason. Objectively, I'd say he has a much better sense than any previous writer of how to construct dynamic and interesting stories, as well as a great head for writing dialogue. Every character has their own unique voice when speaking, and as someone who takes a particular interest in dialogue in her own writing, it's something I admire a lot, especially given how stilted and unnaturally formal a lot of dialogue by Karl and especially Kenders often sounded, regardless of who was speaking. That said, I think that it took a good year or so for him to fully come into his own as head writer for the series, so some earlier issues are a bit strange and not up to par with a lot of his later work. Some of this, to be fair, is due to him essentially playing clean-up for this first year, untangling a lot of the bizarre leftover plot threads that Karl and Kenders left behind, and generally trying to make the world of the comics conform a little better to that of the games. All that aside, anyone reading the comics will likely notice an immediate and apparent improvement in the overall quality of the work starting with this issue. This is helped along, in addition, by none other than the very talented artist Tracy Yardley! who always (well, almost always) introduces himself in the story credits with an exclamation mark. It's kind of his calling card. Tracy took a while to really improve his art as well, so while his earliest issues sometimes have some strange proportions and poses, later on his style became easily one of the most visually attractive and recognizable ones in the series, simplifying a lot of the inconsistencies that many character designs had as well as doing away with the strange pseudo-human proportions that some artists tended to favor, particularly with the female characters. All this said, I will say that Ian isn't going to be immune to my criticism, as while I do recognize his skill as a writer and the good things he brought to the table, there are definitely some problems I have with the way he handled certain things. We'll cross those bridges when we come to them, however, so for now, let's dive into the new world he's creating and see how he does!

Elias and Sonic are walking on the outskirts of Knothole as Elias explains why his father approved the Metal Sonic troopers from last issue. We don't even really get to hear the explanation, but to be fair, we hardly need one, as the idea was so insane to begin with that the only true explanation is that Kenders needed a plot device. Sonic tries to make Elias promise that "you royals" won't hit him with any more weird surprises, and Elias says they only have one more, leading him to a building next to where the Great Oak Slide into the village ends.

I mean, canonically he's supposed to be turning seventeen here, even though realistically he should be turning eighteen, because remember, for him to have turned sixteen in StH#68, had the Robians be deroboticized in early June in StH#123, and still have managed to spend close to a year in space before turning seventeen, literally everything in between the two aforementioned issues would have had to take place in the span of a few weeks - yes, that's counting the month-and-a-half time span that Sonic was confined to Knothole, as well as major events like Eggman's return and the entire Green Knuckles saga. You can see why this huge discrepancy still bothers me, right? Hmph. Anyway, no sooner has the party begun than an explosion destroys the door, and two new players enter the scene - Bean the Dynamite and Bark the Polar Bear from Sonic the Fighters! Nack's been part of the comic for long enough now, so it's cool to see these two make their first appearance. Bark is totally silent - as far as I remember, he never says a single word during the entirety of the comic - but Bean, in the absence of an obvious personality to draw from in the game, has subsequently been given the personality trait of "criminally insane" in the comics.. He's erratic, he talks to himself, he cracks jokes where jokes really shouldn't be cracked, and most importantly of all, he loves his goddamn bombs. Bean starts chucking said bombs left and right at the various Freedom Fighters in the base, while Sonic tangles with Bark. He seems to think these guys are only after him due to something Evil Sonic did in his place, something which he has by now apparently finally explained to all the women of Knothole, and manages to break away from Bark to stop Bean's bombing spree by pinning him to a wall and asking about Evil Sonic. However, Bean happily insists there's been no mistake and he wasn't even aware of Sonic having an evil twin, nor does he particularly care. Oh, speaking of Evil Sonic…

Huh, it seems that Evil Sonic has actually explained his true identity to Rouge in between their previous failed attempt and now. I'm surprised she hasn't outright abandoned him by now due to Rouge not exactly being evil-aligned to begin with, but I guess the pull of the shiny is just too strong for her to resist. And as it turns out, Bean suffers from a similar insatiable need! Fiona pulls out a ring of keys and shakes them around, completely distracting Bean from his current activity of bashing Sonic's head in, and throws them out the hole he made in the wall, prompting him to immediately abandon everything to chase after them. Fiona then advances on Bark, who by now has gotten himself cornered by every Freedom Fighter in the room, and convinces him to stand down as he's outnumbered. Outside, Bean plays with the keys and talks to them, seemingly convinced that they're a beautiful woman with an "adorable accent" who wants his number, when a suspiciously-Shadow-shaped shadow converges on him, prompting him to try to invite him into smashing Sonic as well. Good luck there, buddy, I don't think Shadow usually runs with crazy…

Geez, Sally, cut Fiona some slack. Not everyone had a squeaky-clean record - hell, just look at Shadow! Back in the Chaos Chamber, Rouge and Evil Sonic begin to battle Locke, who tosses Evil Sonic to the side as he perceives Rouge to be the bigger threat. However, that turns out to be a bit of a bad idea, as with Rouge tied up in the fight, Evil Sonic takes his chance to go after the Master Emerald without her, obviously recognizing it as more than just a shiny trinket.

Back in Knothole, Shadow explains that he's only here to thank Sonic for saving Hope, as he knows he wouldn't have been able to do it on his own, and reminds him that as soon as he leaves this building they're back to being enemies, as Shadow's still aligned with Eggman for now. Sonic, to his credit, seems to recognize that Shadow is only allied with Eggman because he doesn't yet know better, and cheerfully invites him to come back here whenever he cuts out on that deal in the future. It's at this point that everyone realizes Bean has quietly snuck into the brain trust's comms room to casually let Eggman know that he and Bark failed to take Sonic down, and when Fiona ushers him back out of the room, Eggman is only too happy to let Sonic know personally that he wishes him a happy birthday and he's sending him a new, more metallic present. Within seconds a thud outside alerts them to the arrival of this present, and everyone rushes out to see a strange figure emerging from an egg pod - a figure which resolves itself into the combined forms of Crocbot and Octobot, now merged into the singular entity of… Croctobot! (Don't worry, Ian knows just how silly this is and even acknowledges it next issue.) But what of Evil Sonic and Rouge? How is their fight faring against Locke after the former got knocked aside? Well, Evil Sonic takes his chance to dramatically emerge from behind the emerald as the other two get ready to continue their fight…

Plot twist! How many people actually didn't know by now that Evil Sonic and Scourge were the same person? I'm guessing there had to be at least a few of you. You can actually already see Ian's new plans being put into action - it's very telling of his intentions when the very first issue he ever pens immediately makes a point of distinguishing a rather tired and boring character into a new and improved version of himself, with a unique name and new, visually distinct look. Apparently Kenders, who if you recall is the original creator of Evil Sonic, never liked this and continued to insist on referring to him as Evil Sonic, but screw that, Scourge is a much more interesting character and this was a change that sorely needed to be made.

Sonic Rush (Part One of Two)

Writer/Pencils: Tania Del Rio Colors: Ben Hunzeker

So unfortunately, Sonic Adventure 2 isn't the only case in the preboot of a partial adaption of a game being included without any actual ending. Sonic Rush, the game, introduces Blaze, a cat from an alternate dimension that is controlled by the Sol Emeralds rather than the Chaos Emeralds, and most of the plot revolves around the Sol Emeralds ending up in Sonic's dimension and her trying to recollect them to bring back to her own world. However, things are a bit different in the comics universe. In this story, Blaze comes to Sonic's dimension because, apparently, she's been having nonstop dreams about him, dreams which show her visions of Eggman threatening the Sol Emeralds and Sonic helping her protect them. She's frustrated that she would have to rely on anyone else to help her protect the emeralds at all, believing them to be her sole responsibility, but nonetheless she's tracked Sonic to Knothole. However, while deliberating her next move, a squad of swatbots - yes, ordinary ones, it's been a while since we've seen them rather than shadow-bots - happen upon her and decide that they should take her in for interrogation.

Yeah, I guess Blaze doesn't understand the dangers present in this universe yet, does she? An hour or so later, Rotor sends for Sonic, informing him that they caught the aftermath of Blaze's capture on their video surveillance. Neither of them know who she is, but they decide she can't be from their village, since she left several disabled swatbots behind, while most people in Knothole are noncombatants and those that aren't are accounted for elsewhere. Sonic rushes out to find their trail and tracks them to a nearby facility set up amidst the trees, and while he begins fighting his way in, the scientific robots in the building go about studying their new specimen.

Sorry, but why the hell would Eggman be looking to add some random Mobian to his team? He only likes robots anyway, and tends to either betray or enslave every living being that comes to him. Blaze suddenly awakens and becomes furious - not that she's been captured, mind you, but that they took off her coat while studying her. She must be really goddamn attached to her coat, because she starts absolutely trashing the place, exploding into flames and screaming so loudly that Sonic becomes genuinely worried about her wellbeing, rushing to where he last heard her. The door of the lab she's in is completely blasted off its hinges by the force of Blaze's explosions, but thankfully after this she seems to have found her coat, because the blasts subside and she appears in the doorway wearing it once again, staring down at an utterly shocked Sonic with a look of fiery fury (the literal flames coating her entire body probably help with the "fiery" bit). Uh… good luck dealing with that, buddy boy!

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #writer: ian flynn #writer: tania del rio #pencils: tracy yardley #pencils: tania del rio #colors: jason jensen #colors: ben hunzeker

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wheremytwinwatches · 5 years ago

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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 45

Last time: Beard and Al had Awkward Family Bonding, Ed pimped out his ride, and Greed paid the Bradley’s a visit. Onwards!

We pick up with Bradley blocking Greed’s attack, yelling at Mrs. Bradley and Selim to stay back. Greed demands that Bradley explain what’s happening to him, why he’s getting these images clawing at his mind. And why was Bradley there? “Why did you destroy my possessions?!” Selim is off to the side being “protected” by Mrs. Bradley, a few shadows lengthening while Bradley mocks Greed for missing his garbage. Suddenly Mrs. Bradley accidentally knocks over a teacup, Greed’s distracted just long enough for Bradley to break the clash and go on the offensive. Greed’s dodging this way and that and actually manages to knock Bradley’s sword out of his hand, but Wrath just throws him across the room and catches the blade in midair anyway. A slice… and Greed’s Ultimate Shield breaks the blade! And with that Greed’s out the window.

[Guard]: “Fuhrer Bradley! Madame Bradley, are you and Selim alright?” [Madame Bradley]: “Y-yes.” [Selim!Thoughts]: “I hope you enjoyed your last day alive, you incompetent human fool.” Pride is not happy that he had to play Weak Little Human Boy and let Greed get away. But the shadows pull back for now. Light string music at a fancy house with a fountain now as [Armstrong the Great]: “Father- WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHAT?! [Armstrong the Great]: “- I demand you retire.” [ARMSTRONG SR.]: *sparkle* “Oh Oliver, it’s been years since we last seen one another, and that’s all you have to say to me?” What the Leto?! Young lady, you have the gall to disrespect your father? To march into this home, call your father old, and demand to be named head of the family? I mean I get what you’re trying to do, order your family out of the country so they are safe from the Goth TC and all, but still! And to usurp The Mighty Armstrong as heir- He’s here! Aw, but The Mighty Armstrong is a pushover when it comes to his older sister. If she presses him now he’ll- [ARMSTRONG SR.]: “OOOooOOooh, Alex! Perfect timing!” [The Mighty Armstrong]: “Oh?” [ARMSTRONG SR.]: “Engage your sister in combat.” [The Mighty Armstrong]: *wat* Holy shit is this happening ARMSTRONG SR. is saying that the winner shall become the head of the family, that Armstrong The Great is insisting he retire and go to another country. [The Mighty Armstrong]: “She what?! How can you treat father with such insolence?! For shame! You’ve given me no choice!” The shirt’s off, the music’s up, this is happening. Move out of the way everyone, it’s an Armstrong Fight! Hey. Hey! Don’t you dare cut away now! Yeah it’s amusing that ARMSTRONG SR. is nonchalantly talking about taking a rest but we’re missing the fight. Oh. Ouch. They’re just going ahead and getting out traveling clothes and emptying the safe already? You have that little faith in your son? I feel bad for The Mighty Armstrong. Ah well, at least they’ll be safe. Damn. We can’t even see all of the fight, but with The Mighty Armstrong’s panicked screaming and Armstrong the Great yelling “Get Over Here!”-

-it’s pretty clear who’s winning. Oh jeez, The Mighty Armstrong got thrown through a door into a wall, and Armstrong The Great’s just dragging him back into the dining room as he screams for mercy. The guy’s tapping out for pete’s sake, you’ve won! The Elder Armstrongs and young Katherine are just walking to the car now, talking about souvenirs as poor The Mighty Armstrong gets tossed into the fountain NO. HIS HAIR!

For Leto’s Sake woman, enough! You’ve thoroughly thrashed your little brother, there’s no need to ruin his hair as well! Have mercy! Finally, Armstrong the Great’s had enough of beating on poor little The Mighty Armstrong. As the clear victor, she’s the head of the family now. Still, The Mighty Armstrong calls her out on associating with the Senior Officers, she snaps back that she can judge their complicity with her own eyes. [The Mighty Armstrong]: “And what have your eyes seen? Have you exiled Mother and Father to a foreign land so they can’t be taken hostage?” Armstrong the Great just smiles. And then orders the loser to get out of her mansion before his cowardice stinks the place up. ...so are we getting an episode title anytime soon? Now we’re at a train in Youswell? Have we been here before? Anyways it’s the east gate, oh it’s May! We’re seeing her off on her trip to Xing (maybe she’ll catch a ride with the Armstrongs?) when she runs into some Villagers, who are aghast at the idea that the little girl is going to cross the desert on her own. May’s quickly swamped with Small Town Kindness, everyone offering food and a place to stay the night. The young princess is crying at all this goodwill- oh shit. [Envy]: “They sure are nice, huh? You don’t even want to help them?” Damnit, what is it about putting Bad Guys in glass enclosures that turn them into master manipulators?

A half-dead Goth? No guarantee that the Emperor would be impressed enough to protect her clan. But bringing back the full secrets of Immortality. And save some innocent people, too. Yup, May’s off and running to Central, Envy sniggering about how he’ll stuff her in a jar once he’s gotten hold of a Philosopher’s Stone and restored his body. Mid ep-pictures of four people this time (The Mighty Armstrong, Wrath, Greed, and Armstrong The Great) and Ed (with an earring? Oh right, he needs to give that back to Winry). Late at night, Ed and the Chimeras have stashed the getaway car and are approaching a broken-down house. Hey, that’s the place they stored Gluttony, I recognize the carved-out earth from his Eraser Gun! Ed’s convinced that Al’s going to be here. [Monkey]: “Hey! There’s nobody here!” *smacks Ed upside the head* But wait, Lion just smelled something and pulled a gun. Monkey and Ed take cover as someone approaches- oh hi Greed! What’s up? Not you, you just collapsed on the ground. You ok, buddy? You’re kind of wearing our friend, so I’d rather you be alive. *stomach growl* [Greed]: “Hungry… need food…” [Ed]: “No, it’s Ling.” Quite a few cans later wait hold on it’s Ling? What, did he finally overpower Greed? Awesome! Less awesome that he ate all of their food but whatever Ling’s back! Ed introduces Monkey (Darius) and Lion (Heinkel). Now how to explain Ling’s backstory- [Ling]: “I’m a Homunculus.” Wow. Ok yeah, but maybe ease into the backstory? So Ling’s saying that Greed “had a falling out” with Wrath, in the confusion Ling regained control and needed a place to hide wait he’s wincing is he losing his grip? Hey! Stop hitting him, that’s not gonna help Ling fight back! Ok Ling’s still here but he’s telling Ed about Uncle’s plan to open the Gate of Truth. And Ling thinks the Elric Brothers should jump in? Ok yeah that might work to get Ed’s body back. Buuuut if the portal opens then that would mean the Nationwide TC was activated which is a Bad Thing. Setting that aside for now, when is the Day of Reckoning? Nope Ling’s on the way out, he can barely ask if Ed passed on his message to Lan Fan. Ed’s able to confirm that Al told his bodyguard, so Ling is thankful even as he’s overpowered. Now we’re back to Greed. Who… just leaves? Huh, I guess he did give his two weeks when he attacked Wrath. Now what’s he going to do? Start up a new- No. NO. [Ed]: “Then why don’t you team up with us?” [Greed]: *wat* [Ed]: “You’ve got nowhere to go. Why not come with us?” YES. Greed has flashes of his old crew as he turns wide-eyed to Ed… before he starts laughing at the idea of following the Protagonist. It’s a valid point, Greed is not the best team player, he’s got his fair share of pride and the idea of taking orders from someone else is against his very nature. Them following him’s a different story, but that’s not happening. Still, as he walks off thinking about how he’s so alone-

-Ling taunts him, saying if he’s just gonna whine he should join up with the folks who are offering. Or he could let Ling take control again, and tag along as the Prince becomes Emperor of Xing. [Greed]: “The ruler of a whole country?” [Ling]: “Not bad, huh?” [Greed]: “Pfft, get over it. You think too small. That’s just not enough. Now ruler of the world? I could enjoy that.” Hmm. And what about after that, Greed? Once you’ve taken over the world, aside from the massive headache it’d be to run everything, what are you going to do after that? Hey, it’s Ed and the Chimeras! Greed snipes at Ed for calling him Ling again (and decides to call him Greedling from now on, hah!) Ed- oh! So Ed accepts Greedling as his new boss (and drafts the Chimeras too, to their annoyance), saying that he’s been a follower ever since he joined the Military. As long as Greedling isn’t going to work with the Goths, why not follow him and get all the info from a former Goth that he can? Greedling flashes back to the original Greed chiding Ed way back when for losing his temper and laughs. New Crew Get! Monkey and Lion roll with the change in leadership, as long as they get food. As Greedling chats with his new mooks, Ed remembers that he still has Winry’s cold-proof earrings. Doesn’t look like he’ll see his girlfriend or brother for a while. Seems like the MPs are still looking for Izumi, bothering an employee at the Curtis Butchery. When Employee get’s a call the MPs head out (“We’ll be back.” “Well maybe you could buy something next time.” Retail, am I right?), but it turns out to be the Curtis’ checking in. Employee passes on a message from Al and Beard. So Izumi and Curtis are up north now? Curtis gets the message about the Day of Reckoning (do we have an actual date for this now?), meanwhile there’s some shooting in the forest as some poor sap in Lookout Post B calls in about an attack. Just one? [Headquarters]: “Hey! Are you still there? Point B, who’s attacking?” [Izumi]: “A housewife!” Uh, as happy as I am to see the Curtis’ again, why are you attacking Briggs troops? I can’t see any reason, other than make poor Sideburns and Buccy look bad for when the boss comes back home. Wait, Izumi got caught? Oh! So she pulled a Loki to pass on the message to Armstrong The Great’s flunkies. Who get Falman to pass it on to Grumman, who… goes to visit a black-haired female sniper? (I’ve been getting titlecards with each scenery change here but they’re all in Japanese for some reason). Grumman greets the sniper WHOA HEY NOW not cool dude! What is it with old guys in anime being pervs? Moving on the very understandably pissed off Rebecca is friends with Riza, she gets gussied up to meet the hostage in Central for coffee and complain about how Riza has all the military dudes for herself. And slips a paper into Hiyate’s collar along with a request to pass her “well-wishes” to Havoc. Now Riza’s visiting Havoc (still in the hospital after Lust), passes on some cigarettes and Rebecca’s hello, asking Havoc to say hi to Roy. Who was lurking behind the curtain? Ah right, with all the surveillance the most they can get away with is code in the cafeteria, a private meeting in the hospital would arouse too much suspicion. Here Roy, have a smoke to ease the stress. No really, “have a smoke”. And we end with the message passed from Beard to Al to Employee to Curtis to Izumi to Buccy to Falman to Grumman to Rebecca to Riza to Havoc to Roy: “Be prepared for the coming spring, when the Promised Day arrives. The North and East will make their move.” End cre-hey, the credits are different! Scenes of our guys preparing for the Promised Day it seems; Al and Beard are going over the Anti-TC, Winry and Rose are in the kitchen, Boar and Toad are working while Yoki struggles with a single rock, Izumi and Curtis are looking over their shoulders as they go to a snow-covered cabin, Falman’s pointing out a diagram for Sideburns and Buccy, Breda’s doing the Anime-Late-For-School-Toast-In-Mouth-Run while dressing, FUERY’S STILL ALIVE YAY a couple of bandages but he’s still fighting stay safe little buddy, Riza’s checking her pistol, Havoc’s in a wheelchair and boarding a train (he said he was heading back East earlier), Armstrong The Great’s sitting at an officer’s meeting probably wishing she could unload on them like she did her poor brother, said brother is feeling much better now doing his trademark Manly Shirtless Sparkle to a bemused Brosh (did anyone ever tell the poor guy his partner survived?), Scar and Marcoh are trekking through a desert, May is unfortunately heading straight back to Central, Greedling’s got his new crew probably trying to figure out what to do next now that he has People again, and Ed’s thinking about how to direct Greedling into helping save the country while still acting as a follower. Overhead image of Central, then down to Uncle’s Pipe Room where there’s Sloth, Gluttony (boo, he’s already regrown?), Pride and Wrath around a bored-looking Uncle. So many players, when they really get moving it’s gonna be- wait hold on, after-credits scene. Roy’s still walking along reading that note (dude you started reading at sunset and now it’s night, how slow of a reader are you?), wait dude that’s sensitive info if you just drop it the Goths could oh right finger-snap and the note’s ash. Episode 45 - “The Promised Day” ...episode title at the very end. Sure, whatever.

#wmtw #where my twin watches #full metal alchemist #full metal alchemist brotherhood #fmab #fmab 45

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envision-fandom · 6 years ago

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He’s a Keeper Pt2

Oliver Wood Fanfiction

Couple: Reader x Oliver

Pt1 Pt3

You stormed into the common room and sat beside your friend with a large huff.

She instantly looks over at you, unsure of how to approach you “So how did the studying go?”

You throw your hands up in aggravation “A complete nightmare! I hate that Oliver Wood, stupid cocky git!”

She stares at you, alarmed at the sudden development “Hold on, you left here completely in love with him and after two hours, you suddenly hate him? What happened down there?!”

You turn to face her, taking in deep calming breaths. You recount the story and she suddenly shot up and began to pace in front of you “You’re right, he is a stupid cocky git. I can’t believe he acted like that towards you. And I’m sorry your first love ended in such a disaster. But there’s plenty more quidditch players out there, so don’t lose hope.”

You smile at your friend, glad she was there to comfort you “Yeah you’re right. Oliver was just the first of many crushes. So what if I’ve liked him since the sorting ceremony six years ago? Now that he’s out of the way I can begin looking for a new crush- one that will actually like me in return and won’t act like a pompous ass hat.”

Oliver’s POV:

Y/N pushed past him, bashing her shoulder against his.

He stumbled onto the bleacher and sat for a moment, thinking over what she had said and realised that he had to apologise.

He ran after her and didn’t catch up until she crawled through the portrait hole. He followed after her, but at the sound of her aggravated voice, he hung back- suddenly afraid to confront her. What an excellent Gryffindor he was.

He listened to her retell the story of what had happened and instantly felt a guilty clench in his stomach.

He was once again about to head over to her and apologise, when he heard her friend mention something about love.

He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but was too intrigued to hear what her friend meant.

When Y/N began talking about the crush she had on him since their first year, the guilty feeling only grew and clenched at his heart.

He really was a git.

When she began talking about dating other guys however, the guilt slowly formed into something else.

Was this jealousy?

The next day you used all of your built up rage to force yourself to avoid looking around the Hall for Oliver, like you had done during every meal since your first day at Hogwarts and you were now beginning to hate yourself for allowing your love for him turn into a habit.

You were halfway through your toast when your friend nudges you with her elbow “Hey Y/N? Why do I feel like I’ve stepped into a parallel universe?”

You gaze up at her questioningly, staring directly into her eyes, to not risk catching a glance towards Oliver “Huh?”

“Well, you’re looking everywhere but at your former crush and now your former crush isn’t looking anywhere else except at you.”

A blush instantly rises in your cheeks “What do you mean? Are you sure?”

She glances down the table, clearly to where he was sat and nods “Yep, definitely staring. He’s even ignoring the twins jokes.”

She turns back towards you excitedly “Hey! you don’t think he’s developed a crush on you now instead?!”

You shake your head vigorously “No way, he didn’t even know I existed until yesterday. He’s probably just feeling guilty for acting like such a jerk.” Your anger pulsed out of you suddenly and you stabbed your knife into your toast, which caused a few heads to turn.

You looked down awkwardly and your friend laughed “You should’ve just seen his face when you did that. He literally squirmed in his seat. You’re having such an effect on him, this is amazing.” She started to laugh, but you simply stared at the knife in your toast, too embarrassed about last night to believe what your friend was saying.

A few days later you made your way down to the dungeons for double potions. You sat in your usual seat at the back by yourself- you worked better alone, than with a partner.

You placed your bag on the seat beside you, when it suddenly slid off the chair and onto the floor and was replaced by someone. You looked over questioningly and rolled your eyes after coming face to face with Oliver, an awkward smile cast on his face.

“I work alone, please find another seat.” You gestured your hand to the endless seats in front of you, but he remained there.

Just as you were about to protest, Snape swooped in and began the lecture.

Not wanting to get into trouble, you sighed and began taking notes, ignoring the constant stare from the boy beside you.

“Okay, begin brewing your potions.” Snape drawled and you set up your couldron ready.

There was a slight chatter in the room, which Oliver took as the cue to begin talkign to you “I’ve noticed you haven’t been coming to the pitch to study-”

You cut him off, a little too aggressively “Why, have you been stalking me?”

He frowns and looks down defeated “No... I just... noticed.”

You felt a guilty clench in your stomach for being so harsh, but then remembered how he treated you and how hadn’t even bothered to apologise, causing you to carry on ignoring him.

He looks up at you and takes in the way you scrunch up your face in concentration and couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

“What’s funny?” You ask defensively, forgetting that you were supposed to be ignoring him.

“Oh, nothing. You just look cute when you concentrate... not that you don’t look cute anyway...” He stutters and a blush creeps onto both of your cheeks.

“Listen Y/N. I’m sorry for how I acted the other day. You were right I was a stupid cocky git and I’m never usually like that. I guess I was just stressed about the upcoming game- but that’s not a good enough excuse. There was no reason for my behaviour and I’m really really sorry. I just hope you can forgive me.” He looks into your eyes earnestly and your heart twinges, glad he was man enough to apologise.

You were about to forgive him when you realised what he said and your smile falters “Hang on. How did you know I called you a stupid cocky git? Unless...” You trailed off and your eyes widened in shock.

Oliver looks away guiltily and your face blushed bright red in embarrassment “You eavesdropped on our conversation! You really are a git!”

Your hand suddenly shot in the air and Oliver looked around in fear.

Snape made his way over to you “Yes Miss Y/L/N. Does there seem to be a problem?”

You turn to face him, but keep your eyes glued to Oliver’s. A mischievous grin spreads across your face “Yes sir, Oliver keeps harassing me and distracting me from my work.”

Oliver stares at you in shock as Snape rounds on him “Well then, Mr. Wood will have to answer to me. Detention, tomorrow night and that goes for anyone else who decides to be a distraction to my class.” He strides away from your table and you pack up your belongings into your bag, with a smug smile on your face.

You bottled your potion and handed it into Snape, before heading back to the table to retrieve your belongings.

You jolted in surprise when you felt a firm body stand closely behind you and a shiver erupted through you, when the most sexiest accent you had ever heard, whispered directly into your ear “Fair play Y/L/N, but I’d say that makes us even, so you can’t be mad at me anymore.”

Your whole body was beginning to melt at the close contact and you felt suddenly empty when he moved away from behind you and left the class room, without even a second glance back towards you.

You were currently sitting in the common room beside the fire, filling your best friend in on your potions lesson and she smirks up towards you “I knew you still liked him and now I’m certain he likes you back.”

You smile and then look out the window “But what if he doesn’t like me? And he just felt guilty and now he’s apologised he will forget about me.” You sigh.

“Don’t worry love. There’s no way I’d forget about a girl like you.”

You turn around abruptly at the sound of the voice, almost falling off off your chair.

He smirks down at you and raises his eyebrows “You really need to find another place to chat if you don’t want to be over heard. And in answer to your question I do like you and if I didn’t have a detention tomorrow- thanks for that by the way- then I would’ve asked you on a date.”

Your heart almost beat out of your chest at his confession and you instantly cursed yourself for getting him in to trouble.

He laughs after noticing your awkward behaviour and takes a step towards you, leaning forward, so that your faces were only inches apart “But how about we take a trip to Hogsmeade together this Saturday?”

You nod your head slowly, unable to form any words and he grins, before standing up straight and winking down at you “See you then, beautiful.”

#oliver #oliver wood #oliver wood fanfiction #oliver wood fandom #oliver wood imagine #harry potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #oliver wood harry potter #gryffindor #quidditch #hogwarts

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ticket4futball · 5 years ago

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Possible 23 man squad of England for Euro Cup 2020

One more month, one month closer to the European Championship this summer and another month of Gareth Southgate who will decide who will be with him in his quest to end the 54-year wait for England for a major international trophy.

England will face the Czech Republic, Croatia, and a playoff winner, who could be Scotland, into Group D at Euro 2020, which is a favorable result for one of the tournament hosts ‘next summer. Sports enthusiasts from around the world can purchase the England Euro Cup Tickets online to enjoy its stunning performances.

The misery of the Three Lions - which Southgate knows pretty well after his Euro 96 foul against Germany - continues to roar, but this time around, there are a lot of young talents who are suggesting a change of fortune at the horizon.

The top four teams in the third position from the six groups will also enter the last-16.

The dates and locations of the England group stage matches are Match.1: England vs Croatia

Time: 15:00

Date: Sunday, June 14, 2020

Stadium: Wembley Stadium Match.2: England vs Play-off winner C

Time: 20:00

Date: Friday, June 19, 2020

Stadium: Wembley Stadium

Match.3: Czech Republic vs England

Time: 20:00

Date: Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Stadium: Wembley Stadium

England possible team of 23 men?

1. Raheem Sterling

It was not a big end of the month for Raheem Sterling, after Manchester City's expulsion from the Champions League for the next two years.

But that minor problem aside, he remains the guy of choice for England with Kane seated on the sidelines and must be wrapped in fluffy cotton.

2. Trent Alexander-Arnold

Trent Alexander-Arnold is widely regarded as the best back-to-back in the world, mainly because of his sensational crossing ability and his raiding up and down to the right. And this evaluation, according to 90 minutes, is absolutely perfect. What a baller.

3. Jordan Henderson

Winning trophies and hoisting them above his head is a feeling that Henderson has become so familiar in Liverpool. And that's something he may have to prepare for, with the severity of Kane's injury still in the air.

4. Jadon Sancho

There comes a point in some players' careers when every club in the world would like to sign you up. Right now, Jadon Sancho is that player. Sorry, Borussia Dortmund.

5. Joe Gomez

Joe Gomez played last 11 Liverpool's matches in Premier League. At the time, Liverpool won all 11 games, kept 10 clean sheets and had a 25-point lead at the top of the table.

6. Harry Kane

It was also a quiet month for Kane, with a recovery on the agenda. The only thing that happened to notice? His Heung-min is now a better player than him for the Spurs. Eek.

7. Marcus Rashford

Crashed, recovering and twiddling his thumbs, it was probably a bit of a boring month for Rashford. However, he is a heavyweight player on this side of England and nothing will change that anytime soon.

8. Harry Maguire

The good old slab head scored against Chelsea in Manchester United's recent 2-0 victory. It's good. The good old slab head kicked Michy Batshuayi in the nuts during the same match. It's bad. Swings and roundabouts, huh?

9. Ben Chilwell

It was another difficult month for Leicester, but not bad for Chilwell - who scored in the recent draw with Chelsea.

So, with that in mind, he's still the reigning, defending and undisputed left-back (thanks to Paul Heyman for that) on this side of England.

10. James Maddison

All we've heard over the past month is which would work best for Manchester United; James Maddison or Jack Grealish?

But, in reality, we should really ask, can Gareth Southgate find a way to accommodate the two on his English side? Probably not, but he could try.

11. Jordan Pickford

The only thing you need at a big international tournament is the stability between the sticks.

Unfortunately, in Jordan, Pickford, England has the opposite at the moment - with more errors leading to a rather strange explosion in which the Everton cap tried its increasing criticism.

Oddly enough, I think I could have found the solution: stop making mistakes, Jordan!

12. Harry Winks

The Spurs win the Premier League games again, which proves that José Mourinho still has it after all.

One of the key ingredients for renewal in North London has been the form of Harry Winks in the midfield. Dynamic, graceful, industrious and beautiful - four simple adjectives that Mourinho has certainly used in press conferences to describe it.

13. Tammy Abraham

Goals aren't so regular for Tammy recently, who remembers having a brother named Timmy, but there is nothing to suggest that a place won't be guaranteed.

So let's focus on something else, remembering that his first name is actually Kevin.

14. Jack Grealish

If Jack Grealish is not in the England team for this European championship, it will be a crime against football.

No, stop thinking about the famous Daniel Radcliffe card in this alternative game, just focus on what Grealish does well for Villa - and that's a lot, a lot.

15. Kieran Trippier

Trips haven't really played out since England's last options update, with groin tension that left them out of the procedures. Yet at least he did nothing wrong at the time.

16. Danny Ings

Southampton is higher and lower than my childhood yo-yo, but they have one constant thing for them - the goals scored by Danny Ings.

DIngs, as we will now lovingly call him, has 15 Premier League goals this season and recently whipped a pearl against Burnley's former employers. But Gareth, for Christ's sake, doesn't put it on the front post when defending corners.

17. Nick Pope

In our previous edition of this series, in case we haven't already mentioned it, we recommend watching the Netflix biopic The Two Popes for more information on Burnley's keeper and his identical twin brother. This point is still valid.

18. Declan Rice

Poor old Dec really hasn't had a happy time recently, with West Ham in the absolutely dreadful form under the irresistible David Moyes.

It doesn't bode well for his credentials in England, but there's no question he's up to it - probably needs Ant by his side, remember ...

19. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

The end of January / beginning of February was not particularly inspiring for Oxlade-Chamberlain on a personal level, but he still has a time whale on the wave of the Liverpool juggernaut.

And who doesn't like to have a winner's mentality in the locker room, huh?

20. John Stones

Lord knows what sometimes goes on in John Stones' mind, but these are certainly not thoughts you want your central defenders to have.

Still, Stones holds on to his place for his dear life - largely because there aren't many other quality options available for poor Gareth.

21. Dean Henderson

The goalkeeper's third place (underestimated word) in the England team has been talking about the city in, uh, goalkeeper circles for quite some time now - and it now looks like a race that Dean Henderson will no doubt win.

Indeed, Hendo is damn good and his only rival for the spot - Tom Heaton - is almost certainly done for the season by injury.

22. Tyrone Mings

Previously, on the 90-minute Who's on the Plane series, we had chosen only three central defenders. Looking back, it was probably a mistake.

To compensate for this, we selected Mings - a prolific tackler this season - to fill the void, just ahead of Fikayo Tomori, who usefully lost his place at Chelsea at the right time.

23. Danny Rose

"I have been given the chance to play week after week. I want to play football again - with the euros in the summer, I want to put myself in the window."

And that's exactly what Danny Rose is doing in Newcastle - first, getting out of the bench in a 0-0 draw against Norwich, before starting pumping 4-0 at Arsenal.

Then Rose had a ruck with Toon fans on the train to Tyneside - what other evidence do you need to suggest that it MUST be included?

On Standby

The three England goalkeepers for this European Championship seem to be dead certainties, but Aaron Ramsdale will always keep the hope of getting into Gareth's thoughts.

Chris Smalling and Fikayo Tomori meanwhile, still hope to make their way into the central defensive configuration, while Kyle Walker, Reece James, Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Brandon Williams are hoping for additional nods.

Mason Mount may feel aggrieved at being knocked down in the midfield, but he is in good company - Dele Alli and Callum Hudson-Odoi are always outside to watch and have to do more to get in.

Upstairs, the fit Dominic Calvert-Lewin is an outside bet, while Callum Wilson and Mason Greenwood are also waiting behind the scenes, if an injury-ravaged the Three Lions.

Euro 2020 fans can get Euro Cup Tickets through our trusted online ticketing marketplace. Ticket4football.com is the most reliable source to book Euro 2020 Tickets.

#EnglandEuroCupTickets #EnglandvsCroatiaTickets #CroatiaEuroCupTickets #EuroCupTickets #Euro2020Tickets

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lynchgirl90 · 8 years ago

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What Made #TwinPeaks Denise Such a Radical Trans Character on TV

At a time when trans characters on TV and film were killers, villains, or just mocked, the equality accorded to David Duchovny’s Denise in ‘Twin Peaks’ stood out.

“OK.”

That’s how Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) reacts in the second season of Twin Peaks when his former colleague Dennis Bryson (David Duchovny) reintroduces herself to him as Denise—not “Wow!” or “Huh?” but a prosaic, matter-of-fact “OK.”

Later that day at a wedding reception, Cooper slips up and calls the transgender woman by her old name again. She corrects him: “Denise.” He apologizes immediately and sincerely—“I’m sorry”—and makes it a point to call her by her new name afterward.

“Well, this is all pretty amazing disclosure, Denise,” Cooper says, with the same stupid grin on his face that he gets when he sips a damn fine cup of coffee or looks at a majestic Douglas fir tree.

To this day, it may be the most tender portrayal of friendship between a transgender person and someone who knew them before transition—and it was first aired in 1990.

youtube

The nineties were not a great time for transgender representation on film or television, to say the least. This was the decade when Ace Ventura threw up because he discovered he had kissed a transgender woman, when The Crying Game’s big transgender reveal was marketed as a shocking twist, and when The Silence of The Lambs gave us a villain who wanted to make a “woman suit” out of human skin.

Back then, transgender female characters tended to be “deceitful, disgusting villains,” as Meredith Talusan wrote for Buzzfeed. An ass-kicking DEA special agent in a critically-acclaimed surrealist soap opera didn’t exactly fit in with that trend.

But perhaps it shouldn’t be a surprise that a show as revolutionary as Twin Peaks would also be ahead of the curve when it came to handling a transgender character. And it’s oddly fitting that a show flooded with anachronisms—that felt cut out of time and place—would somehow predict the future of transgender representation.

The representation of Denise—played by a truly breathtaking David Duchovny in era-appropriate stockings and a big-banged wig—has its fair share of problems, of course. The writers clearly wanted to squeeze a few laughs out of the new character, who comes to the town of Twin Peaks to clear Agent Cooper’s name after he gets falsely accused of drug-running.

“That’s a good color for him,” says Deputy Hawk of Denise in her first scene, after she leaves the room, misgendering her and giving the audience tacit permission to laugh at the character—especially because the line follows a deliberately long beat.

Later in Denise’s three-episode arc, the audience is shown a pair of black heels walking across the checkered-tile floor of the Double R diner before the camera cheekily reveals that they belong to the six-foot tall transgender woman. It’s a joke told at Denise’s expense, albeit in a visual grammar rather than a verbal one.

For a real-life transgender viewer like myself, there are pieces of Denise’s story that don’t quite add up. Denise tells Cooper that she transitioned because she discovered that wearing women’s clothing “relaxed [her]” while she was working undercover as a “transvestite” for a drug bust.

“Imagine how surprised I was, Coop,” she says. “It’s not exactly something you plan on.”

While I don’t want to discount anyone else’s life experience, most transgender people I know—myself included—don’t stumble upon this realization about themselves by accident but after years of internal agony. (In fact, when I first discovered Twin Peaks and watched the entire series in a weekend, I was in the middle of painful deliberations about how, when, and if to transition.)

It’s not immediately clear, either, that Denise’s transformation involves any sort of medical treatment. However, a line cut from one of the scripts reveals that she is in a program that requires her to “dress the part for six months prior to any further therapy, hormones, [and] electrolysis.”

At a time when most people still referred to gender transition as “sex change” and equated the entire process with surgery, that’s some pretty impressive attention to detail. But the same script introduces Denise as “MAN IN DRESS,” so I don’t want to give the writers too much credit.

Overall, though, Twin Peaks treats Denise with a remarkable amount of humanity—even by today’s slowly-rising standards.

The welcoming attitude toward Denise begins with Agent Cooper’s immediate acceptance of her transition and emanates outward.

As Rani Baker wrote in her 2016 ode to Denise—playfully titled “26 Goddamn Years Later, Twin Peaks Still Has One of The More Compassionate Trans Woman Characters on TV”—Cooper functions as “the conscience of the [show’s] narrative” and an “anchor point of stability and traditional (yet modern) American values.”

Cooper is the kind, decent, cherry pie-loving, crispy bacon-eating heart of Twin Peaks—so if Denise is all right in his book, then she’s all right, period. The other characters often take their cues from him, not just in matters of law enforcement but in matters of the heart as well.

For instance, Sheriff Truman makes a snide comment about Denise under his breath when he first meets her. But two episodes later, he genders her correctly and even figures out a way to use her womanhood to their advantage in a hostage situation, sending her in dressed as a waitress to disarm some unsuspecting bad guys. (The script describes Cooper as “surprised” and “proud” that Truman came up with the idea.)

In fact, apart from Hawk’s initial misgendering of Denise, I can’t find a single instance of her being referred to as “him” or “he” in the show itself—although the Twin Peaks episode scripts use inconsistent pronouns in their written descriptions of the character.

Young Audrey Horne is downright in awe of Denise, exclaiming, “They have women agents?” when the two first meet. (“More or less,” Denise replies, in one of those borderline-offensive laugh lines.)

And to the show’s credit, no one asks Denise invasive questions about her genitals—a lazy, transphobic crutch for film and TV writers that is still being used today in movies like Zoolander 2. Cooper even prefaces a broader question about Agent Bryson’s transition with a careful “if you don’t mind my asking.”

The show also corrects the misconception that one’s sexual orientation automatically changes following a gender transition. When Denise makes a remark about Audrey’s obvious infatuation with Cooper, Cooper says, “Denise, I would assume you’re no longer interested in girls.”

Denise replies, “Coop, I may be wearing a dress, but I still pull my panties on one leg at a time, if you know what I mean.”

“Not really,” says Cooper, still grinning.

But it’s not just how other characters treat Denise that makes her stick out in a sea of awful transgender characters; it’s how she handles herself. She is friendly, self-assured, and frequently hilarious. When she catches the bridal bouquet at a wedding, for example, she tells Cooper, “Unfair advantage. How many of those girls were varsity wide receivers?”

As Baker noted in her piece, “Denise is presented as actually being talented and confident,” which is a “pretty big deal” given the way transgender women were being represented at the time. Denise plays a key role in taking down series villain Jean Renault and extracting a confession from another criminal named Ernie Niles. In a series full of quirky Lynchian players, she more than holds her own.

That’s why most Twin Peaks fans seem thrilled that she’s apparently coming back in Showtime’s Twin Peaks revival, which premieres on May 21: she’s not just a unique transgender character but a great character, her undeniable sensuality and eminent capability undercut by David Duchovny’s dry delivery of her lines.

I have been waiting for Denise to return since 2015. When rumors were swirling about David Lynch bringing Twin Peaks back to life, Duchovny told the LA Times, “I hope my character comes back, I think she does.” (Note that he gendered his character correctly— something that cisgender actors in transgender roles still sometimes fail to do to do.)

Finally, this March, EW revealed an exclusive photo of Duchovny on the set of Twin Peaks dressed in a smart brown skirt suit with a more modern hairstyle: the bangs are still there, just side swept now. According to EW, Showtime and Lynch won’t officially confirm that the original cast are reprising their exact previous roles—but it’d be shocking if it weren’t Denise in that production photo.

But transgender representation looks a lot different in 2017 than it did in the nineties. Laverne Cox is on Orange is the New Black. Jamie Clayton is on Sense8. Shows and films featuring transgender characters like Transparent and The Danish Girl are being nominated for—and sometimes winning—Oscars and Emmys. But despite taking a half-step forward from nineties transphobia, this new transgender moment is far from perfect. Filling transgender roles with cisgender actors—still the most common casting practice, apart from notable exceptions like Cox and Clayton—not only deprives marginalized actors of work, it sends the dangerous cultural message that transgender women are really men—and that transgender men are really women—underneath it all.

The tide on this debate is only now starting to turn. Transparent creator Jill Soloway, who previously defended casting Jeffrey Tambor as a transgender senior a few years ago, has since said that “it is absolutely unacceptable to cast a cis man in the role of a trans woman.” And Tambor himself told the world in 2016 that he “would be happy if [he] were the last cisgender male to play a transgender female.”

That’s why, as blogger and Twin Peaks superfan Joel Bocko pointed out in his excellent primer on Denise Bryson, Duchovny’s apparent return to the cast “will be both celebrated and controversial.” Will we forgive Twin Peaks for giving us yet another cisgender man as a transgender woman because Duchovny is continuing a part he first played twenty years ago? Or should the casting choice be judged in the present with no consideration for the past?

At this point, it’s hard for me to imagine Denise Bryson’s heels being filled by anyone other than Duchovny. I am the first to criticize movies and shows for casting cisgender actors in transgender parts but there’s a special place in my heart for Denise’s wry quips, quick instincts, and killer legs. And in the grand calculus, Twin Peaks earned enough goodwill with me by setting itself apart from the omnipresent transphobia of nineties entertainment that it can afford to irk me today.

I’ll withhold final judgment until I devour the finished product like the Twin Peaks nerd that I am. But for now, the thought of seeing Denise on my TV again makes me grin about as wide as Agent Cooper contemplating a spread of jelly donuts.

Here’s hoping I get to give her re-reintroduction a big ole Agent Cooper thumbs up.

Or at least a simple, accepting “OK.”

link (TP)

#Twin Peaks #David Duchovny #Denise Bryson #The Daily Beast

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flauntpage · 7 years ago

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DGB Grab Bag: New Penalty Signals, Cherry Seventh-Best Canadian, and Hrudey on Duty

The three stars of comedy … will return

We're taking a break from the three stars this week, since a.) it's August and everyone who has ever played, coached, or worked in the NHL in their life is off the grid at a cottage somewhere, and b.) I've been away most of the week and probably missed anything funny that did happen. The three stars will return next time. Meanwhile, we have important business to get to in the next section.

Be It Resolved

Last week, I got very worked up about the NHL's weird insistence on treating holding the stick as a different penalty than holding, complete with its own hand signal. To be clear, I stand by that rant completely. I'm right and you know it.

In putting that section together, I had to dive into my copy of the NHL rulebook to verify that holding the stick was in fact the only penalty that forces the referee to perform a two-part signal, and in doing so, I realized something I'd never noticed before: There are four NHL penalties that don't have a signal at all.

Granted, they're the rare ones. Specifically, the penalties without signals are kicking, head-butting, throwing equipment, and too-many-men. You don't see those all that often. Still, they're in the rulebook. They should have some sort of signal. You can't ask a referee to announce a penalty and then just stand there like an idiot while everyone stares at him. We need to give these guys something to work with.

So let's do that. I've got some suggestions.

Let's start with kicking. That's the easy one. The referee just makes a little kicking motion. Simple enough, right? I mean, it would have to be a distinct kicking motion so that everyone in the crowd could make it out, but I'm sure the league could come up with a nice, easy definition for distinctive kicking motion that everyone would always agree on, so we'll just use that.

(Also, you could probably follow that up by having the ref pull out a phone, dial the police, and have the player arrested because he just freaking kicked somebody while wearing skates and is obviously a psychopath.)

Photo by Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports

The head-butt is a little tougher. My first thought was that the ref would slap his own forehead, but older fans might get confused and think he just realized that he could've had a V8. So I'm going to go a little more extreme and suggest that he slam his head directly into the crook of his arm. It's simple, distinctive, and my son will get excited because he'll think the ref is dabbing. Everyone wins.

For throwing equipment, I think we go with the obvious: The ref has to wind up and toss his whistle into the crowd like it's the Rock's elbow pad. And yes, that does create a problem where the referee won't have a whistle for the rest of the game, but if it's overtime or late in a close game or the playoffs, he won't need it anymore, so we should be fine.

And finally, too-many-men. My first thought was that the ref should have count to six on his fingers, look confused, and then make an exaggerated herpy-derp face at the crowd. But that seems a little complicated, so let's keep it simple. Just point at the Bruins.

Be it resolved: All these new hand signals go into effect for the 2017-18 season. Please let any referees in your life know so they can start practicing now.

Obscure former player of the week

One of this year's bigger off-season moves was the Stars signing Alexander Radulov away from the Canadiens. Radulov had 54 points last year and occasionally goes into beast mode, so he doesn't qualify as an obscure player. His brother Igor does, though, so he gets this week's honors.

Igor Radulov was a winger who was picked by Chicago in the third round of the 2000 draft, four years before his brother would go to Nashville in the first. It was a good round for less-successful brothers, as Henrik Lundqvist's twin brother Joel had gone a few picks earlier. (Henrik himself wouldn't go until the seventh round that year, marking the last known time that his life wasn't completely perfect.)

It was a bit of a weird draft pick, because by the time the Blackhawks used it, it had been traded five times in deals involving everyone from Mike Knuble to Ulf Samuelsson to Niklas Sundstrom (twice!) to the No. 4 overall pick in the 1999 draft, which was Pavel Brendl. Theory: If you dig hard enough, every obscure player eventually links back to Pavel Brendl.

Anyway, Radulov remained in Russia for a season before heading to North America to spend a year playing for the OHL's Mississauga IceDogs (and head coach Don Cherry). He scored 33 goals, then moved to the AHL in 2002, where he got his first taste of the pro game. By the end of the year, he earned a brief call-up to Chicago, where he scored five goals in seven games.

That had fans and media expecting bigger things. Radulov made the Blackhawks out of camp for the 2003-04 season, but he got off to a slow start, scoring just once in his first 16 games. By December, he was playing under ten minutes a game, and then found himself a healthy scratch. By the New Year, he was back in the AHL.

While we didn't know it at the time, we'd seen the last of Igor Radulov in the NHL. He headed home to Russia during the 2004-05 lockout and stayed there, first with HC Spartak Moscow and later with the KHL. Unlike his brother, he never did make an NHL comeback; at 34, he was still seeing time in the KHL last season.

What has Don Cherry gone and done now?

We haven't used this section much lately, and to be honest, there's no real reason to break it out now. Don Cherry hasn't done much this week. He's on vacation, like everyone else. But since there's not much going on, I thought it would be fun to use this space to tell the story about the time Cherry was voted the seventh-best Canadian.

Yes, that actually happened.

I realize that American readers are probably wondering how this is possible. How could a country with so much history decide that a sports broadcaster was the seventh greatest person to ever live? That would be like naming John Madden or Vin Scully as one of the ten greatest Americans. They've had great careers, and people love them, but greatest ever? Like, out of everyone? Are you crazy?

Meanwhile, Canadian readers are like, "Seventh? Huh. That seems a little low."

When you are a bright spot in the history of your country. Photo by Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Here's the background. In 2004, the CBC launched a project to determine the greatest Canadian of all time, creatively naming it "The Greatest Canadian." The end result was a top-50 list, determined by a multi-step public vote.

Cherry ended up finishing seventh, ahead of people like Alexander Graham Bell, Sir John A. Macdonald, and, oh yeah, Wayne Gretzky. He was narrowly beat out by names like Terry Fox, Sir Frederick Banting, and Lester B. Pearson. In case you're wondering, the winner was Tommy Douglas. If you Americans don't know who that is, he's basically the guy who brought Canada the concept of, um, you know what, America, maybe it's better if we don't mention it right now. Tommy Douglas is Kiefer Sutherland's grandfather, that's all you need to know.

The important point is that Cherry finished seventh, which gives you an idea of how insanely popular he's always been up here. There was a time when he absolutely could have run for prime minister. Hell, he probably would have won.

By the way, when the CBC program aired, each of the top ten was presented by a Canadian celebrity. Cherry's segment was introduced by Bret "The Hitman" Hart. Just in case you were ever wondering what the most Canadian thing of all time was.

Classic YouTube clip breakdown

Who's up for some terrible NHL goaltender-based rap/rock? Good. You're in luck.

Careful readers will recognize this clip from February, when it was rediscovered and broken down in detail by Kings bloggers The Royal Half. We gave it a spot in the weekly comedy stars section back then, but it was inevitable that it would work its way to Classic YouTube section status someday. That day has arrived.

So the background here is that it's the 1989-90 season, give or take a year, and a group called The Puck Boys has decided to record a song honoring the Kings' coolest player. No, not Wayne Gretzky. No, not Luc Robitaille. Not Bernie Nicholls, either. Those guys were good, but they didn't rock a baby blue bandana during games. No, the Puck Boys are going to sing to us about Kelly Hrudey.

To answer the obvious question: No, The Puck Boys are not a real band. They can't be. I mean, I don't doubt that at least a few of these guys are actual musicians, and the lead singer is… well, we'll get to him in a bit. But this is basically a casting call of musical clichés all mashed into one super-group. They can't possibly be an actual collective. There's just no way.

All that said, this is a pretty catchy song. You're going to be humming it all day. Consider yourself warned.

"Who's between the pipes tonight? Well let me check my roster…" Um, actually, the roster itself wouldn't have that information. You'd need to check your lineup. Once again, novelty hockey song bands' failure to hire me as a fact-checker comes back to haunt them.

Glove saves were just better in the 80s and 90s. The goalies always looked a little bit surprised to have actually made a save, and they'd really sell it by flailing their arms around. It always looked great.

OK, almost always.

We get our first wide shot of the entire band, which includes a guy in cowboy hat, a dude in a suit, and a small child. And, of course, there's our lead singer, who looks like Bruce Springsteen had a baby with Marty Jannetty and then let it be raised by Rico Suave.

Just to give you a sense for the attention to detail that's going to be in play here, we start off with our singer telling us about all the things they now have "one less" of, while holding up two fingers.

The singer is giving off some star power, but the undisputed star here is keyboard-suit guy. He has clearly a.) never played the keyboard before and b.) not quite got the hang of the whole "having elbows" thing. But he did break out the formal wear for this video shoot, so we'll give him that. Dress for the job you want, and all that.

This is one of those late-80s songs that would be described as rap but may or may not actually be. I feel like the inclusion "whopper of a stopper" kind of disqualifies it right there.

So about that lead singer. His name is Harry Perzigian, and he'd become famous under some less than ideal circumstances a few years later. He was accused of supplying drugs to the son of actor Carroll O'Connor, who later committed suicide. He later sued O'Connor for slander, and the whole thing was a reasonably big tabloid story at the time. Perzigian died in 2014; a friend wrote this tribute.

I feel like that may have been the most depressing paragraph in YouTube section history. Can we get back to hockey jokes now? I'm not sure we have a choice. Onwards.

"Is this real, we must be dreaming. Have you checked our goals against?" Yes, I have. Kelly Hrudey's goal against average in 1989-90 was 4.07, the fourth worst mark in the league. But in fairness, he posted a 4.34 in the playoffs.

As we're digesting that information, our next highlight is an opposing player on a breakaway just getting blatantly tackled before he can get to Hrudey. Probably the right play.

That player is Brent Ashton, by the way, and he's going to feature in like every one of these highlights. Seriously, it's all they have and it's going to get weird.

"It's 7:30, I'm OK," our singer tells us while pointing at his wrist, which does not have a watch on it. This guy is terrible at hand gestures. Working the name of the song into the wardrobe is a strength, sure, but hand gestures not so much.

We get more Ashton highlights, and… wait. Was this originally supposed to be a Brent Ashton tribute video? Did they write a whole song about Ashton, then scrap it at the last minute and throw it in a dumpster, where it was found years later and repurposed by Chris Parnell? It would explain so much.

We get our second identical shot of Hrudey decking Paul MacDermid. And with that, we've made it through our entire video while using highlights from one single NHL game. Come on, guys. Even the Neil Sheehy-era Capitals know you always use two or three to mix it up.

And because I know you expect me to know these things, I went back and tried to figure out which specific game all these highlights are from. We knew the Kings were playing the Jets in L.A. (home teams wore white back then), Kelly Hrudey was in net, Brent Ashton and Paul MacDermid are in the lineup, and the Kings won (since we see Hrudey pumping his fist at the end of the game). The only game from 1988-89 or 1989-90 that fits that criteria came on December 19, 1989, when Hrudey gave up five goals in a 9-5 Kings win. Wayne Gretzky had six points. Are you sure the goalie's the guy you want to be highlighting on this team, guys?

I don't think that's the kid's real voice, you guys.

The epilogue on all of this is that Hrudey spent the next five seasons in L.A., and was significantly better over most of that span. He finished fourth in Vezina voting in 1990-91, and helped lead the team to the Stanley Cup Final in 1993. Was he inspired to those heights by this song? We can never truly know for sure, but yes, he was.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected]. DGB Grab Bag: New Penalty Signals, Cherry Seventh-Best Canadian, and Hrudey on Duty published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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amtushinfosolutionspage · 7 years ago

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DGB Grab Bag: New Penalty Signals, Cherry Seventh-Best Canadian, and Hrudey on Duty

The three stars of comedy … will return

We’re taking a break from the three stars this week, since a.) it’s August and everyone who has ever played, coached, or worked in the NHL in their life is off the grid at a cottage somewhere, and b.) I’ve been away most of the week and probably missed anything funny that did happen. The three stars will return next time. Meanwhile, we have important business to get to in the next section.

Be It Resolved

Last week, I got very worked up about the NHL’s weird insistence on treating holding the stick as a different penalty than holding, complete with its own hand signal. To be clear, I stand by that rant completely. I’m right and you know it.

In putting that section together, I had to dive into my copy of the NHL rulebook to verify that holding the stick was in fact the only penalty that forces the referee to perform a two-part signal, and in doing so, I realized something I’d never noticed before: There are four NHL penalties that don’t have a signal at all.

Granted, they’re the rare ones. Specifically, the penalties without signals are kicking, head-butting, throwing equipment, and too-many-men. You don’t see those all that often. Still, they’re in the rulebook. They should have some sort of signal. You can’t ask a referee to announce a penalty and then just stand there like an idiot while everyone stares at him. We need to give these guys something to work with.

So let’s do that. I’ve got some suggestions.

Let’s start with kicking. That’s the easy one. The referee just makes a little kicking motion. Simple enough, right? I mean, it would have to be a distinct kicking motion so that everyone in the crowd could make it out, but I’m sure the league could come up with a nice, easy definition for distinctive kicking motion that everyone would always agree on, so we’ll just use that.

Photo by Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports

The head-butt is a little tougher. My first thought was that the ref would slap his own forehead, but older fans might get confused and think he just realized that he could’ve had a V8. So I’m going to go a little more extreme and suggest that he slam his head directly into the crook of his arm. It’s simple, distinctive, and my son will get excited because he’ll think the ref is dabbing. Everyone wins.

For throwing equipment, I think we go with the obvious: The ref has to wind up and toss his whistle into the crowd like it’s the Rock’s elbow pad. And yes, that does create a problem where the referee won’t have a whistle for the rest of the game, but if it’s overtime or late in a close game or the playoffs, he won’t need it anymore, so we should be fine.

Be it resolved: All these new hand signals go into effect for the 2017-18 season. Please let any referees in your life know so they can start practicing now.

Obscure former player of the week

One of this year’s bigger off-season moves was the Stars signing Alexander Radulov away from the Canadiens. Radulov had 54 points last year and occasionally goes into beast mode, so he doesn’t qualify as an obscure player. His brother Igor does, though, so he gets this week’s honors.

Igor Radulov was a winger who was picked by Chicago in the third round of the 2000 draft, four years before his brother would go to Nashville in the first. It was a good round for less-successful brothers, as Henrik Lundqvist’s twin brother Joel had gone a few picks earlier. (Henrik himself wouldn’t go until the seventh round that year, marking the last known time that his life wasn’t completely perfect.)

Anyway, Radulov remained in Russia for a season before heading to North America to spend a year playing for the OHL’s Mississauga IceDogs (and head coach Don Cherry). He scored 33 goals, then moved to the AHL in 2002, where he got his first taste of the pro game. By the end of the year, he earned a brief call-up to Chicago, where he scored five goals in seven games.

While we didn’t know it at the time, we’d seen the last of Igor Radulov in the NHL. He headed home to Russia during the 2004-05 lockout and stayed there, first with HC Spartak Moscow and later with the KHL. Unlike his brother, he never did make an NHL comeback; at 34, he was still seeing time in the KHL last season.

What has Don Cherry gone and done now?

We haven’t used this section much lately, and to be honest, there’s no real reason to break it out now. Don Cherry hasn’t done much this week. He’s on vacation, like everyone else. But since there’s not much going on, I thought it would be fun to use this space to tell the story about the time Cherry was voted the seventh-best Canadian.

Yes, that actually happened.

I realize that American readers are probably wondering how this is possible. How could a country with so much history decide that a sports broadcaster was the seventh greatest person to ever live? That would be like naming John Madden or Vin Scully as one of the ten greatest Americans. They’ve had great careers, and people love them, but greatest ever? Like, out of everyone? Are you crazy?

Meanwhile, Canadian readers are like, “Seventh? Huh. That seems a little low.”

When you are a bright spot in the history of your country. Photo by Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Here’s the background. In 2004, the CBC launched a project to determine the greatest Canadian of all time, creatively naming it “The Greatest Canadian.” The end result was a top-50 list, determined by a multi-step public vote.

Cherry ended up finishing seventh, ahead of people like Alexander Graham Bell, Sir John A. Macdonald, and, oh yeah, Wayne Gretzky. He was narrowly beat out by names like Terry Fox, Sir Frederick Banting, and Lester B. Pearson. In case you’re wondering, the winner was Tommy Douglas. If you Americans don’t know who that is, he’s basically the guy who brought Canada the concept of, um, you know what, America, maybe it’s better if we don’t mention it right now. Tommy Douglas is Kiefer Sutherland’s grandfather, that’s all you need to know.

The important point is that Cherry finished seventh, which gives you an idea of how insanely popular he’s always been up here. There was a time when he absolutely could have run for prime minister. Hell, he probably would have won.

By the way, when the CBC program aired, each of the top ten was presented by a Canadian celebrity. Cherry’s segment was introduced by Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Just in case you were ever wondering what the most Canadian thing of all time was.

Classic YouTube clip breakdown

Who’s up for some terrible NHL goaltender-based rap/rock? Good. You’re in luck.

So the background here is that it’s the 1989-90 season, give or take a year, and a group called The Puck Boys has decided to record a song honoring the Kings’ coolest player. No, not Wayne Gretzky. No, not Luc Robitaille. Not Bernie Nicholls, either. Those guys were good, but they didn’t rock a baby blue bandana during games. No, the Puck Boys are going to sing to us about Kelly Hrudey.

To answer the obvious question: No, The Puck Boys are not a real band. They can’t be. I mean, I don’t doubt that at least a few of these guys are actual musicians, and the lead singer is… well, we’ll get to him in a bit. But this is basically a casting call of musical clichés all mashed into one super-group. They can’t possibly be an actual collective. There’s just no way.

All that said, this is a pretty catchy song. You’re going to be humming it all day. Consider yourself warned.

“Who’s between the pipes tonight? Well let me check my roster…” Um, actually, the roster itself wouldn’t have that information. You’d need to check your lineup. Once again, novelty hockey song bands’ failure to hire me as a fact-checker comes back to haunt them.

Glove saves were just better in the 80s and 90s. The goalies always looked a little bit surprised to have actually made a save, and they’d really sell it by flailing their arms around. It always looked great.

OK, almost always.

We get our first wide shot of the entire band, which includes a guy in cowboy hat, a dude in a suit, and a small child. And, of course, there’s our lead singer, who looks like Bruce Springsteen had a baby with Marty Jannetty and then let it be raised by Rico Suave.

Just to give you a sense for the attention to detail that’s going to be in play here, we start off with our singer telling us about all the things they now have “one less” of, while holding up two fingers.

The singer is giving off some star power, but the undisputed star here is keyboard-suit guy. He has clearly a.) never played the keyboard before and b.) not quite got the hang of the whole “having elbows” thing. But he did break out the formal wear for this video shoot, so we’ll give him that. Dress for the job you want, and all that.

This is one of those late-80s songs that would be described as rap but may or may not actually be. I feel like the inclusion “whopper of a stopper” kind of disqualifies it right there.

So about that lead singer. His name is Harry Perzigian, and he’d become famous under some less than ideal circumstances a few years later. He was accused of supplying drugs to the son of actor Carroll O’Connor, who later committed suicide. He later sued O’Connor for slander, and the whole thing was a reasonably big tabloid story at the time. Perzigian died in 2014; a friend wrote this tribute.

I feel like that may have been the most depressing paragraph in YouTube section history. Can we get back to hockey jokes now? I’m not sure we have a choice. Onwards.

“Is this real, we must be dreaming. Have you checked our goals against?” Yes, I have. Kelly Hrudey’s goal against average in 1989-90 was 4.07, the fourth worst mark in the league. But in fairness, he posted a 4.34 in the playoffs.

As we’re digesting that information, our next highlight is an opposing player on a breakaway just getting blatantly tackled before he can get to Hrudey. Probably the right play.

That player is Brent Ashton, by the way, and he’s going to feature in like every one of these highlights. Seriously, it’s all they have and it’s going to get weird.

“It’s 7:30, I’m OK,” our singer tells us while pointing at his wrist, which does not have a watch on it. This guy is terrible at hand gestures. Working the name of the song into the wardrobe is a strength, sure, but hand gestures not so much.

We get our second identical shot of Hrudey decking Paul MacDermid. And with that, we’ve made it through our entire video while using highlights from one single NHL game. Come on, guys. Even the Neil Sheehy-era Capitals know you always use two or three to mix it up.

And because I know you expect me to know these things, I went back and tried to figure out which specific game all these highlights are from. We knew the Kings were playing the Jets in L.A. (home teams wore white back then), Kelly Hrudey was in net, Brent Ashton and Paul MacDermid are in the lineup, and the Kings won (since we see Hrudey pumping his fist at the end of the game). The only game from 1988-89 or 1989-90 that fits that criteria came on December 19, 1989, when Hrudey gave up five goals in a 9-5 Kings win. Wayne Gretzky had six points. Are you sure the goalie’s the guy you want to be highlighting on this team, guys?

I don’t think that’s the kid’s real voice, you guys.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you’d like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected]. DGB Grab Bag: New Penalty Signals, Cherry Seventh-Best Canadian, and Hrudey on Duty syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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Turns out Archie is just as clueless in ‘Riverdale’ as he is in the comics

KJ Apa as Archie Andrews, Lili Reinhart as Betty Cooper, Cole Sprouse as Jughead Jones, and Camila Mendes as Veronica Lodge

Image: Diyah Pera/THE CW

This recap contains spoilers for Riverdale Season 1, episode 2, titled “A Touch of Evil.”

Previously on Riverdale Archie (KJ Apa) got hot, Jason Blossom’s (Trevor Stines) body was discovered with a bullet hole in his head meaning he didn’t drown like his twin sister Cheryl (Madelaine Petch) said and Archie, Betty (Lili Reinhart) and Veronica’s (Camila Mendes) iconic love triangle was born with Betty’s broken heart.

As subversive as Riverdale gets with Archie Comics canon, underneath the darkness and grit of the world created in The CW series, all of the characters are still pretty much the same as their comic book counterparts. Yes, Archie’s now a hot varsity football player caught in an illicit teacher/student affair with Ms. Grundy (Sarah Habel), but underneath his buff exterior, he’s still the girl-crazy redhead who always tries to do the right thing, even if he doesnt succeed most of the time. His intentions are pure.

While last week’s series premiere did its best to get tongues wagging with how scandalous, shocking and edgy Riverdale is going to be, episode 2 lives up to its promise of staying true to who the Archie Comics characters are. It also makes big strides in Jason Blossom’s murder investigation, no thanks to Archie. But we’ll get to that in a bit.

Now that the police are searching for whoever shot Jason, Archie’s guilty conscience is getting the better of him about the mysterious gunshot he heard at the river’s edge on July 4th. Archie may be a little dense, but he’s not stupid; he can put two and two together he knows exactly when Jason was shot, and he also knows that information could be very helpful to the police. But Ms. Grundy’s scared that if they come forward, it will expose their affair and get her in trouble, so she refuses to let Archie spoil their good time with his ethics. #RiverdaleStrong.

It only takes Archie until lunch to confront Ms. Grundy again, asking her if her feelings for him are real because otherwise there’s no reason to protect whatever it is they’re doing especially if it obstructs a murder investigation.

When faced with that ultimatum, of course Ms. Grundy tells him their relationship is real no surprise there. She seductively warns him that if he exposes their affair, they’ll never get to see each other again, appealing to his teenage boy hormones and effectively shutting him up for a little bit. It’s clear that Grundy doesn’t feel the same way about Archie that he does about her and is more concerned with keeping her job, but he can’t see that through his lust blinders. Can you blame the poor guy?

Thankfully, his former best friend Jughead (Cole Sprouse) is here to help Archie see the truth after he catches a glimpse of the two of them in the act. Archie and Jughead subsequently get into a tense fight about the affair, leading Archie to confess to hearing a gunshot on July 4th, and Jughead’s ensuing anger over the fact that Archie isn’t doing the right thing and coming forward proves to be the push that Archie needs to nut up.

Bro code.

Image: Diyah Pera/THE CW

The next morning, Archie’s resolve is strengthened by an inspiring talk with his dad (Luke Perry) and good ol’ Archie finally decides to do the right thing and tell the police what he heard. We’ll have to wait to see how Grundy reacts to Archie’s decision, though something tells me she’s desperate to keep their affair a secret.

Meanwhile, Betty’s mom, Alice Cooper (Madchen Amick) is on the warpath when it comes to Jason’s murder investigation, practically dancing with glee over the discovery that he was shot.

There is something seriously off with Alice, more than just being a overbearing mother. If every Riverdale character is like their comic book counterpart in some way, Alice Cooper is the exception. There is no trace of her warm, nurturing self from the digest and if it’s there, she’s hiding it well. No one, especially a mother of a high school student, should be that happy about her daughter’s peer getting shot in the face.

She pays off the medical examiner performing the autopsy for the inside scoop on his cause of death, and her interest levels are definitely suspicious. And why is she so afraid to have Betty visit Polly in the group home she’s in? There is definitely something fishy going on with the whole Alice, Polly and Jason situation. I’m all for a slow burn, but this mystery is likely going to have huge ramifications for many characters and possibly the investigation itself, so I’m getting impatient.

But Betty is too focused on her own issues to dig deeper into that, as both Veronica and Archie are on major damage control after their little makeout sesh. For the most part, Betty seems to be over her broken heart. But it’s not how she really feels it’s just what she’s projecting, seeing as how her mother wants her to break off things with both of them. Is this the first sign of Betty’s rebellion, going against what her mother wants, even if it’s not what she truly wants?

When Veronica tries to talk things over with Betty, Betty’s true feelings finally come out and it’s no more Miss Nice Girl. She takes Veronica’s olive branch gift of manis/pedis and blowouts at a fancy salon and instead invites Cheryl of all people, who accepts only to try and get information out of Betty about Polly.

Cheryl thinks whatever happened between Polly and Jason over the summer caused Polly to shoot Jason, and Betty definitely has no time for those kinds of accusations. And hey, maybe threatening murder to the sister of the boy who was just murdered isn’t the smartest idea?

Madelaine Petsch as Cheryl Blossom

Image: Dean Buscher/The CW

There’s clearly more to Cheryl than meets the eye. After trying to stay strong throughout the entire hour, she finally breaks down during the pep rally thrown in her brother’s honor. Believe it or not, Veronica ends up being the one to comfort her, and after Betty sees the sweeter side of Veronica, she decides to put the past behind her and be Veronica’s friend for real. They seal their newly forged bond over milkshakes at Pop’s, making a vow that no boy will ever come between them again.

In a case of TV-perfect timing, Archie then walks through the door of Pop’s. Betty can see the sparks between him and Veronica, but she shoves her feelings down once more and invites him and Jughead to join them in their booth.

Jughead’s closing narration sums up that trio the best: “To someone on the outside, peering in, it would have looked like there were four people in that booth. But I was there and I can tell you, really there were only three: a blonde girl, a raven-haired girl and the luckiest redheaded boy in the universe. For one shining moment, we were just kids. Those bright neon lights of Pop’s keeping the darkness at bay, giving way, as all nights must, to a morning of reckoning.”

SEE ALSO: ‘Riverdale’ reinvents Archie with a ‘Twin Peaks’ twist, and we dare you not to love it

That morning of reckoning is a big step forward in Jason’s murder investigation, as none other than Cheryl is the first arrest made! Record scratch, freeze frame, say what?!

She’s taken out of class by the sheriff and principal because of what the autopsy revealed, and in her own words, she admits, “I’m guilty.” But guilty of what? Surely not murdering her twin brother?

It’s more likely she’s “guilty” of giving a false statement about when her brother disappeared, since it turns out he didn’t die on July 4th he died over a week later. So what was the gunshot that Archie and Grundy heard?

Looks like there are now two major mysteries being brought out of the shadows and into the light in Riverdale. But honestly, I’m just here for Betty and Veronica’s newly-minted girl power friendship.

Other noteworthy moments:

– Moose (Cody Kearsly) wants to keep his secret fling going with Kevin (Casey Cott), but Kevin has no interest in extreme closet cases. Keep on being your awesome, confident and self-aware self, Kevin. You are slowly but surely becoming the best part of Riverdale.

– Archie is the king of sending poor Betty mixed signals, and it’s even more heartbreaking to watch onscreen than it is to read it in the comics. Apparently when they were both in second grade, he almost got held back because he was having trouble reading. She tutored him every day so he would still be in her class, and when he passed he kissed her and asked her to marry him. She told him to ask her again when they were 18 and she’d say yes. She probably, definitely meant that, and of course, he can’t see that. He just remembers it as a cute memory from their childhood. Oh, Archie.

– We’re starting to get a fuzzy picture about what caused Archie and Jughead’s friendship-ending rift. Apparently Archie had plans to go on a road trip over the summer summer with Jughead, beginning on the weekend of July 4th, but Archie canceled last minute. Jughead now knows it’s because of Archie’s fling with Grundy, but that definitely isn’t the whole story. What else happened between these two former best friends? At least Archie deciding to come forward about the gunshot he heard seems to be the start of a resolution with Jughead. Plus, taking a punch to the face for his former bestie definitely scores Archie some points.

– The River Vixens perform at the school’s pep rally in Jason’s honor (what an interesting way of grieving, Cheryl) with an assist from Josie (Ashleigh Murray) and the Pussycats. Their cover of “Sugar, Sugar” is awesome, bubble gum pop fun, and a subversive take on the original since it’s usually sung by The Archies. Subversive really seems to be the mantra of Riverdale, huh?

Riverdale airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on The CW.

BONUS: DC Comics characters come to life in the form of LEGO bricks