#Howard the Duck x Darcy Lewis

[josephinekhawaja]

Oh fuck you. We already had a ‘Howard The Duck Got Hitched’ episode with Party Thor. We hardly need to lean into it. And on Christmas Day to boot to drive it into us more as TaserTricks shippers.

Thirteen years since the Thor film, three seasons of this show, and no fewer than 10 deaths (Odin, Frigga, Laufey, Heimdall, Phil Coulson, Jasper Sitwell, Jane Foster, and The Warriors Three) later and we still cannot even set up a meeting for OTP. In spite of the both of them making their MCU debut in literally the same film; and I am pretty sure Loki and Darcy Lewis are the only two characters from said film who have never met one another. Somebody write a fix-it in which sacred-timeline Loki tries to break up Howard the Duck and Darcy as a cosmic couple for shits and giggles only to end up catching feelings. (Like in the aftermath of the first Guardians of the Galaxy film, which also falls in the era of Loki still faking his death to the cosmos…I am just spitballing here.)

At least there is no missing Jotun!Loki singled out by the “One Final Watch” as a reminder this will probably be a continuation from the same party episode. And who knew our girl would end up the MCU mascot of Christmas, two years in a row, when I have always headcanoned her as being as Jewish as one Katherine Litwack. Will adjust it to her being half-Jewish then…she does vibe to me like a Christmukkah kind of girl.

[guardian-angel12]

Darcy Lewis canonically married and banged an anthropomorphic animal and got pregnant and people in the MCU were NOT weirded out about it and it was completely fine.

Take that Rocket x human girl antis

[the-lux-archives]

Since what if gave me the confirmation that there is and can be a universe where everyone is gay and slowly healing, I'm taking the liberty to write it myself.

Starts after Endgame, Blackhill, Bishova, Agathario, ValCarol and Wanda x Darcy (just trust me on this) are some ships that I've started working into the fic so far. Everyone is on the long rocky road to satisfaction. It gets messy but no person left behind.

Plenty of the pet characters make an appearance. Alpine, Goose, Lucky, Liho and Jeff the Land Shark to name a few.

[azriona]

Does Darcy Lewis/Howard the Duck have a ship name yet? Cause it should totally be Featherbrain. (He's got feathers, she's got brains, also describes both of them perfectly.

[mkpersephone]

Y'all won't believe what I just saw on YouTube.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Well atleast Lilandra is hot. And she didn't laid the egg herself.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It was in one of those "What If...?" meme videos.

[thatsolacegirl]

WTF is this obsession of Marvel with the fanfiction romance tropes?

AI x Human romance

Time traveller

Weird love triangles

Self Love

Idiots in love

Nerds in love

Uncomfortable age gap

Scorned love

Darcy x Howard the Duck

I can go on with this.

[junkothejitteringlunatic]

rocket raccoon x reader WHAT IF

Just imagine you found out that darcy lewis had a baby. A hybrid duck baby. A fucking what?! Yeah, you were in shock but then you had a moment of revelation. Not from shock that this was new news... you knew for a while but then it came to you...

boom.

BOOM.

Maybe it was possible to have a baby with rocket! Okay... rewind, slow down... you've been trying for a while but you need to find out her secrets. You're her friend afterall... maybe not close but you share that respect that your boyfriends/husbands are both anthropomorphics.

So one day you stumble into Rocket's workshop in the ship.

"Heeeeeeyyyy..." you prolonged that greeting longer than you should have.

"Whad'dya do?" He let out a sigh.

"Nothing... this time... but *cough*, you heard that uhh... Howard... yeah, he's had a child... yeah! Darcys baby... girl... mhm,**" you slowly crept into his room. Your words trembled.

"Really? 'Bout time, she honestly looked like she could'a popped that baby out any flarkin' minute." Rocket muttered.

"Don't be rude," you retorted.

You let out a gulp.

"I can read you like a friggin' manual instruction book i know what you're already 'boutta say and I'm gonna say back 'we've been trying for a few krutackin' months now and still there no baby in ya'," Rocket answered for you.

So you stood like a lighting rod. Not trying to be cringe but every time you brought something up like this??? Involving having kids??? He knew what was coming.

"So... I'm gonna leave meanwhile... and we shall discuss later? Yeah? I'm gonna see Darcy soon," you nodded as you walked back.

"Do your shit, I don't care," he shrugged with a tired sigh. God he was like a little kid glued to an iPad every time he built something new.

[bloodinthegutter]

Me: A What If...? spinoff entirely focussed on the X-Men movies would be awesome to see. What if...Magneto Stayed an X-Man? What If...Jean Grey Could Control the Phoenix? What If...Wolverine Never Escaped Weapon X? What If--

Marvel: WHAT IF HOWARD THE DUCK AND DARCY LEWIS HAD A BABY???!!!???

[anarcoqueer1994]

Are you telling me the MCU can give us a universe where Darcy marries Howard the Duck but they cannot give us a universe where Steve marries Bucky? I am tired of this tomfoolery.

[dyns33]

Darcy : "So, you two decided to give it a try, uh ? Can't blame you. I really want to see what's under that... skirt ?" 

Jotun Loki : "Sorry little one, it's only for my sweet darling." 

Darcy : "I'll just ask Thor. Or I'm sure Y/N will spill the beans after some drinks." 

Y/N : "Stop it." 

Darcy : "Oh come one ! You are with a giant, I want all the details !" 

Y/N : "You were with a duck, I didn't ask anything." 

Jotun Loki : "A duck ?" 

Darcy : "... I was drunk." 

Y/N : "You are married." 

Jotun Loki : "A duck ? What is a duck ??? It sounds like a dick, is it the same thing ?" 

Y/N : "No babe, even if this one is kind of a dick." 

Jotun Loki : "I'm lost... But if your friend is married to a dick, it'll explain her obsession with mine." 

Darcy : "Stop it !"

[agent-42]

Darcy the Duck!

[josephinekhawaja]

First boyfriend Ian Boothby...

...and then husband Howard The Duck, cockblocking my MCU OTP.😱😫🤣 If there is any consolation in this decade-long Marvel missed opportunity, is that if Darcy Lewis can (dead sober) marry an anthropomorphic duck, she should have no qualms about divorcing/annulling him for a Frost Giant.❄🧊😏

[dimmadoome]

This episode of what if was actually really adorable. Frigga going over to midguard to chastize Thor. Captain Marvel cracking and helping Thor. Everyone cleaning up afterwards. Thor and Jane getting matching tattoos. Its all so damn cute. Plus Darcy Lewis x Howard the Duck being canon MCU is probably my absolute favorite part. Also. LOOK AT HOW BIG LOKI ACTUALLY IS!!!! 💙💙💙💙💙

[sachertortes]

DARCY AND STEVE HARRINGTON OMG!!! 😍😍😍 College themed #9 with the spider or ridiculous first sentence #4 with the demons Our Steve love is on the level and I appreciate you.

@ragwitch YAAAS STEVE HARRINGTON! I had way too much fun writing this, and I hope you have fun, too!! You are wonderful

Prompt: #4, Ridiculous first sentences, “that is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit!”

Pairing: Steve Harrington (Stranger Things) x Darcy

Rating: T, for language

Notes: Spoilers for Season 2 of Stranger Things.

Steve Harrington’s Five Rules of Babysitting

1. SAFETY FIRST

Fine. Okay.

So he knows he shouldn’t be one to talk about safety when he let a bunch of kids drive then go exploring in what was basically a creepy tunnel in a field, but in his defense he’d been knocked out by some dickweed with a shitty mullet and was sort of loopy at the time.

But.

Safety first. Always.

Keep all doors and windows locked at all times.

Don’t let the kids choke on anything because maybe you don’t know CPR and you only know the Heimlich from the diagram you’ve glanced at while waiting for your order at the Dairy Queen.

Know where your weapons are.

(Example:

There’s a rifle is in the closet.

The box of bullets is on the highest shelf in the kitchen.

The kitchen drawer is full of knives.

Eleven is playing Connect Four with Max.

And…

“Lucas!” Steve bellows over his shoulder. “DON’T TOUCH THE DAMN BAT.”)

2. KEEP THE LITTLE SHITS OCCUPIED

Slightly related to Rule Number One, because if they’re playing their dorky boardgames, they aren’t out on their bikes trying to find interdimensional slugs to keep as pets.

When they get tired of boardgames (or when everyone gets tired of Max and Mike screaming at each other about whether a “Zoomer” is a thing), pop a movie into the VCR.

(Suggested Movies -

Ghostbusters (naturally)

Raiders of the Lost Ark (but tell the kids to cover their eyes when Indy does)

Star Wars

Movies That Do Not Go Over Well -

Alien

Firestarter

Howard the Duck)

3. A BALANCED MEAL IS IMPORTANT

“Listen, kid, you gotta eat something other than Eggos. You’ll get scoliosis.”

“Scurvy,” supplies Will.

“Whatever. Scurvy.”

4. KNOW YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACTS

In an emergency CALL:

911  

The Parents  

Joyce Byers.

Seriously, one time he saw Joyce look at some kid who called Will “Zombie Boy” with such cold, murderous rage that the kid apologized and ran away.

Joyce doesn’t fuck around.

Call.  Joyce.

5. NO VISITORS/OUTSIDERS

Listen. They’ve all seen some shit. They’ve been through a lot.

Like, a lot.

So their little circle is now them, Ms. Byers, the Sheriff and the doc from the lab. No one else could possibly know the shit they’ve been through. Hell, no one else would possibly believe them and it’s just easier to stick to their own small band of weirdos.

Makes it easier to keep an eye on them, too.

Outsiders are suspicious. After what Nancy and Jonathan told him, outsiders could be wearing wires and the next thing you know you’re held against you will in (another) government facility wondering if you’ll ever see daylight again.

So when there’s a knock at the door and Steve opens it to find a short brunette girl - a stranger, he’s understandably suspicious. She is not coming inside.

No way.

“You’re the babysitter?!” she laughs, eyebrows hiked up and hand on one hip.

Yeah. She is not allowed inside.

No matter how cute. No matter how shiny her cherry red lip gloss. She’s not coming in.

“Darcy!!” exclaims Dustin from behind him. “This is my cousin Darcy. Come in!”

Well, shit.

“Kiddo, your mom wants you home soon. And thanks for letting me in finally.” Darcy turns to him and rolls her eyes. “I thought you were gonna make me stand out there with the creepy noises forever.”

Fuck. His heart is doing some bizarre thing where it sinks and speeds up at the same time.

He should’ve known it wasn’t over, shit like this is never over.

Then just as suddenly he’s angry and tired.

Can he please make it to graduation without ending up in a body bag? Is that too much to ask?

“This is like, the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit,” Darcy declares, shrugging off her acid wash jean jacket and shoving it at him. She goes over to the couch, where Lucas hesitantly slides over a bit to let her sit.

He blinks, still holding the jacket. (It smells faintly like Love’s Baby Soft). “Wait. What?”

“…What.”

“You said demon summoning.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You thought those were demons?”

Lucas stops the movie. Everyone waits with bated breath.

“Well, yeah. At first, I called Fish and Wildlife and they said they were coyotes, but like, I actually saw one and have you ever seen a coyote with that many teeth? So. Small town plus weirdo animals plus that Department of Energy thing equals demon summoning. I saw it on Phil Donahue. Totally demons. Right?” She pushes a lock of hair behind her ear and eyes him expectantly.

He throws her jacket over an arm chair then motions for her to follow him to the kitchen. “Not..not quite. This is gonna sound crazy but you thought those were demons so…”

When Darcy promises not to laugh at them and call up the loony bin, Steve takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair. “Okay, so I guess it started with – “

Dustin walks in clutching a bag of Cheetos. “Ohh! Steve are you tellin’ her about the demodogs? Hey, everyone, we’re tellin’ Darce about the demodogs!!”

“Jesus Christ.”

STEVE HARRINGTON’S UNOFFICIAL SIXTH RULE OF BABYSITTING: TEAMWORK

Two adults (and he and Darcy are adults, damn it, they’re the only ones who can legally drive) are better than one, especially to corral six kids.

Ms. Byers and the Sheriff are on a capital D Date even if they insisted they weren’t. (Why go to Hawkins’ one Italian restaurant with actual table cloths if you weren’t on a date?).

And with a tiny pang in his chest that had really been getting tinier by the day, he notes that Nancy and Jonathan are hanging out together, too. (Probably riding around town together, listening to the sad wailings of British guys in black overcoats.)

Teamwork makes it easier to deal with the noises outside the house. The noises that are getting closer, softly clicking, chittering.

Mike and Lucas slide the sofa so it blocks the front door, and everyone else pulls the blinds down.

“This is my life now,” Darcy says, in disbelief and resignation as she pulls out the box of bullets from the kitchen cabinet.

She slams it on the counter, and the old toaster rattles a little.

“I’m sorry,” says Steve. “But I’ve been through this before. We’ll get through it again,” he promises.

Darcy takes a deep breath.

“Listen, I can’t even believe I’m doing this, but this is a very stressful situation,” she murmurs. She turns to him and presses her body along his front while the Byers’ plastic laminate counters dig into his back.

And oh wait, he can feel it, that…electricity, it’s like the air around is humming, colors sharper.

“I’m gonna need you to do a Thing, okay? Because you’re cute and y’know your hair is kinda cool – “

“Thanks,” he says, unable to help his smile. The hair. Always gets ‘em.

“Shut up, Steve, and just kiss me!” she hisses at him, pulling him towards her with two fistfuls of his Members Only jacket.

“Okay, yeah,” he manages to get out before he slants his mouth over hers and his entire world is alight with fireworks

He jolts when their lips finally meet. It’s clumsy at first, their teeth bumping together. But Darcy’s lips are silky and slippery with gloss. Her tongue slides over his insistently and she tastes faintly like grape BubbleYum. His hands are sliding just a little bit under that soft, pink sweater of hers and this is usually the part where the girl tells him to cool it but she doesn’t - her hands are tangled in his hair, nails grazing his scalp.

He cups her jaw, and he feels like he’ll vibrate right out of his own skin.

She pulls away with a smack. “Wow. Good kissing, babysitter.”

Her breath comes in quick pants when it fans across his face and when he looks at her she gives him a tiny lopsided smile.

“Seriously?!” a voice exclaims from behind them, high and outraged. “My cousin??!”

Darcy rolls her eyes and gently pushes Steve away. “What is it, Dustin.”

Dustin turns to him with a narrowed gaze. “You’ve got,” he gestures his hand vaguely over his mouth, “like all over you, man.” He shakes his head, mildly disgusted.

Steve runs the back of his hand over his lips and says, “Where are we on those-”

Something outside screeches warningly and the hairs on his arms stand on end. He grips his baseball bat tighter. He looks to his right and there’s a hard glint in Darcy’s eyes as she loads the rifle.

“Ready?” he asks her.

She turns to him and gives him a sharp nod. “Ready.”

They go to join everyone in the living room.

They wait.

They wait some more, with only the harsh puffs of their panicked breathing and the sound of the crickets outside.

“Are they…coming?” Darcy asks, shakily, after five agonizing minutes have passed.

“They’ll be here,” he says.

“They’re not…they’re not coming,” El says softly from behind him. Her voice is doing that slightly scary thing where it sounds too high and too far away.

“They went back?” Lucas asks.

“No. She means it’s not them,” Will says haltingly, scrunching his face.

“Well, what is it?!” demands Max, face flushed with annoyance. She begins striding to the door.

“Oh no you don’t.” Steve reaches down and yanks her back by her jacket collar.

“I’ll go,” offers Darcy and before he can forbid that, she’s crouching by the window and looking outside.

“Shit!” Darcy screams, and he’s over by her side in a second, his bat in position. But when he looks at her, she’s…smiling?

She pulls the curtain aside for him.

On the front porch, one of the tiny ragged things hisses at him, glaring at him with two shiny black eyes and he bursts out laughing, pure relief washing over him

“Possums!” he calls over his shoulder. “Just possums!”

Everyone groans.

He’s never been so glad to see those oversized rats ever in his life.

Afterwards, when the little assholes have mostly finished ragging on him for making them barricade the house against rodents, they put the couch back and sag onto various surfaces in the living room in front of the TV.

“God, that sucked. I need coffee,” Darcy grumps while she stomps to the kitchen. “And food.” She puts her hair up in a messy ponytail and begins rifling through the Byers’ pantry, setting a bag of flour and sugar on the counter.

She bends over to rummage through the fridge next and wow. God bless Jordache.

When she turns she’s got a carton of milk in one hand and is holding a box of eggs with the other.

“You guys like waffles, don’t you?”

El, by his side, is smiling up at him hopefully.

He sighs tiredly, makes his way to Darcy and takes the eggs from her hands. “Yeah. I’ll help.”

See?

Teamwork.

[ao3feed-wintershock]

We'll Meet Again (Don't Know Where, Don't Know When)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2KuFFyU

by Chellacat, RedPheonixWitch

When Darcy went for coffee that morning she thought the most adventure she would have that day would be ducking the unbound Alpha's that hung out at the coffee shop. Finding her match and being marked twice, not the most likely outcome for a coffee run.

Words: 8359, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Darcy Lewis, James "Bucky" Barnes, Tony Stark, Howard Stark, Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Jane Foster (Marvel), Pepper Potts, Rebecca Barnes Proctor, Logan (X-Men)

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Jane Foster/Thor, Clint Barton/Laura Barton

Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Darcy Lewis is a Stark, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Nesting, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Alpha Peggy Carter, Beta Steve Rogers, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Omega Darcy Lewis, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Darcyland (Marvel), Protective Steve, misguided Steve, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Protective Tony Stark, Protective Jane Foster, Awesome Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Pack Dynamics, Pack Family, 1940s

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2KuFFyU

[ao3feed-natashabruce]

We'll Meet Again (Don't Know Where, Don't Know When)

by Chellacat, RedPheonixWitch

When Darcy went for coffee that morning she thought the most adventure she would have that day would be ducking the unbound Alpha's that hung out at the coffee shop. Finding her match and being marked twice, not the most likely outcome for a coffee run.

Words: 8359, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Darcy Lewis, James "Bucky" Barnes, Tony Stark, Howard Stark, Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Jane Foster (Marvel), Pepper Potts, Rebecca Barnes Proctor, Logan (X-Men)

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Jane Foster/Thor, Clint Barton/Laura Barton

Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Darcy Lewis is a Stark, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Nesting, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Alpha Peggy Carter, Beta Steve Rogers, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Omega Darcy Lewis, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Darcyland (Marvel), Protective Steve, misguided Steve, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Protective Tony Stark, Protective Jane Foster, Awesome Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Pack Dynamics, Pack Family, 1940s

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2KuFFyU