#How would I differentiate them uhhhhh

[sysig]

I have just realized a problem if [baby] turns out to be male;

I already have a Scriabin tag

[trickstarbrave]

a big problem i do have with TES is while there is while the gods are real and everyone basically has a religion (minus the dwemer) most of the religions are not given any depth. the only times they are is if kirkbride worked on it and bethesda actually uses it (like in morrowind and to a degree earlier games). after morrowind the religions are kind of afterthoughts. religious holidays are briefly mentioned but not actually used, daedric summoning days are ignored, and we dont really see regional variations in worship anymore by the time of skyrim when a lead director decided "actually the Objectively Correct religion is the imperial religion. so there. anyone who is remotely a good guy or correct has to follow them".

no one goes to temples really, no one makes sacrifices on altars, i see places named after gods or saints but no people really. weddings are religious affairs with no explanation as to why really except in the case of mara being a god of marriage (well why do you need to go to the temple of that? and if there is a dedicated temple in riften, why is there a royal wedding in solitude?)

in morrowind people have saints and shrines and pilgrimages to these shrines and holy sites. in oblivion and skyrim there are chapels and temples and shrines but i never really SEE anyone going to them much. a couple of quests have you go there but its not really a thing you get the idea happens in the background without you. some nords meditate on the way up high hrothgar at least? but why dont i hear about them going to temples and shrines more outside of disjointed quests that don't really give me a picture of how the religion WORKS?

its just kinda handwaved as "you are a white christian american, you know how church works" when uhhhhh christianity isnt polytheistic. and many of these gods dont make sense to have a christian religious structure. they fill in "praying" with "meditating" but it doesn't do much to differentiate what the fuck they are meditating on. the tribunal temple is evil dark elf catholicism mixed with some evil buddism and is given depth without being overwhelming to non-religion nerds. but i cannot really grasp what the fuck is going on with the rest of the religions in other games bc it just seems to be There to fill the medieval fantasy religion quota because religion was so central to the daily life of everyone in the middle ages it would be bizarre to not have ANY of it and they didnt want to put in the work replacing it nor did they wanna do much for it.

[another-fire-emblem-sideblog]

In case I delete my damn Twitter (I really should), I want to preserve the only tweets I ever made that I liked. Which, unfortunately, was rating every Fire Emblem Final Boss on their fuckability (remixed).

I'm sorry.

(Note: I confess that I am not a monsterfucker, yes yes leave your angry comments below, and I will be ranking every boss on their most anthropomorphized form to even the playing field)

(Edited on 2/17/2024)

MEDEUS (FE1/FE3/FE11/FE12)

Oh boy here comes the most generic villain ready to offer me the most generic sex possible. How could I ever contain my excitement

VERDICT: Look tumblr likes to make evil sex with your evil spouse look de facto exciting but even the spark can go out of villain sex. If he's a boring villain in the streets he'll be a boring villain in the sheets.

DUMA (FE2, FE15)

Man I am so glad that the remake gave Duma a human form and I don't have to be talking about ~~Duma's wiggles~~

VERDICT: I will confess to not being particularly attracted to him, but.... Not to spoil anything but he's going to be one of the better picks on this list.

JULIUS (FE4)

He is a child.

VERDICT: He is a child.

VELD (FE5)

Oh boy, you KNOW he fucks with the same enthusiasm of a disgruntled middle manager fitting in a quickie between reruns of Home Improvement with a wife that he's a decade past loving.

VERDICT: I mean there are worse choices on this list but love yourself.

IDUNN (FE6)

Even putting her somewhat... neotenous features aside, the whole free will removal kinda makes the idea of sex with her pretty unethical at best.

VERDICT: And even if we ignore all that she got one rounded by Roy. Total turn off.

FIRE DRAGON (FE7)

There is no anthropomorphized form. It's just a dragon.

VERDICT: I have concerns about size differentials here.

LYON (as possessed by FORMORTIIS) (FE8)

Ok, ok, I acknowledge this one is kind of a stretch as those two are separate entities and the Formortiis you fight is NOT in the shell of Lyon but like. Give me a break. I know you horny fuckers want Formortiis to become intimate with your intestines. I'm terribly sorry this stupid post isn't for you.

VERDICT: Let's be real. Unless you're Eirika or Ephraim (or willing to put on some cosplay) he won't be bringing his A-game. If you are, though... oooh. Boy. The emotion would run high. There would be crying. I'll leave it up to you as to whether this is a plus or minus.

ASHNARD (FE9)

Unlike some other options on this list, it is at least 100% proven that he has had sex, if only as a means to an end. I honestly doubt whether he would fuck for any other reason to be honest

VERDICT: If, for some reason, being used as a genetic experiment isn't a turn off, he's absolutely going to ask if he can turn a family member of yours into a mindless war beast, probably immediately after the sex. If for some reason this still isn't a turn off, uhhhhh I hope y'all are happy together.

ASHERA (FE10)

While I could imagine most of the other characters in this list being open to the idea of sex, I really couldn't see Ashera being DTF. But...

VERDICT: She's hot in a scary Drakengard way, so I'd say it's worth at least shooting your shot. She'd probably turn you to stone, but that's the risk you take for love.

ROBIN (As possessed by GRIMA) (FE13)

Fell Robin is a great example of the effects of evil on human attractiveness. On their own, Robin is human tofu. They are a perfect 5/10. Being possessed raises their score to at least 6/10.

VERDICT: 6/10 is better than average. Why not.

TAKUMI (FE14)

As far as I know, he doesn't have an official age, but I see this character and I think "that's baby"

VERDICT: All I want to do is give him butterscotch candies and ask him how he's doing in school.

GARON (FE14)

Like Ashnard, at least you can say he definitely fucked. Quite a bit, considering the excess of children he has (discounting his propensity for picking them up off the streets) So, uh, he's got one thing going for him?

VERDICT: He has this expression the entire time.

The

Entire

Time.

ANANKOS (FE14)

man who fucking cares

NEMESIS (FE16)

He's the only final boss in Three Houses that doesn't turn into a big ol' monster so he's got that going for him (or against him, depending on your point of view.) Unfortunately, he is, however, a zombie, which I would rate as worse.

VERDICT: One certainly can't say he's slacking on the gym routine but... zombie. Does he smell? Ew.

EDELGARD (FE16)

It's everyone favorite problematic waifu! What is there to say about her that hasn't been said before.

VERDICT: No, I mean really. Uh... if you like her I said she was stinky and if you hate her Edelgard come step on me uwu. Everyone can be mad at me. It's fun for the whole family.

RHEA (FE16)

Rhea is a scary, scary woman and fucking her would ruin your life

VERDICT: Rhea can totally get it.

EDIT: As of this writing (2/17/2024) I have beaten Fire Emblem Engage, and have edited this section accordingly.

SOMBRON (FE17)

Like Garon, Sombron canonically fucks. A LOT. This does not mean he's necessarily any good at it, mind, but he's got to at least... know... stuff, right? He was able to turn the yaoification beam on Hyacinth so he's clearly not completely lacking in sexual appeal. He will NOT wear a condom tho, although who on this list would?

VERDICT: I feel like you'd need to have some very specific fetishes for this to be a good idea, but if you do... have fun?

As for Heroes, I will confess that I only played Heroes very briefly; I don't know shit about the story and will have to rely on the wiki. So if I get some stuff wrong, apologies that I didn't play a shitty gacha. I was too busy... uhhhh having sex with your mom (NOTE TO SELF DELETE LATER)

BRUNO (Heroes, Book 1)

This bitch loses shirts like a Yakuza character. His abs have more screentime than his face. He pops on screen and Yusuke Kozaki manifests behind you and whispers in your ear "don't you just HUNGER for his dick????"

VERDICT: Oh come on.

SURTR (Heroes, Book 2)

Uh... he was pretty good on my team for the brief moment that I played. Uh... shit let's consult the wiki

VERDICT: ...oh. He's not very nice at all. Yeah don't fuck him.

HEL (Heroes, Book 3)

Ok. Look. Listen. Ok. Ok. Look. Ok. Ok. Listen. Ok. Listen. Listen. Listen. Ok. Look. Ok. Look. Listen. Listen. Look.

VERDICT: ...

...

...yeah...

FREYJA (Heroes, Book 4)

Ok, she's cute, but... I don't know. I just don't vibe with her design. It screams "designed for lonely dudes" and I'm a lonely GAL thank you.

VERDICT: Bring back the goth milfs.

EITRI (Heroes, Book 5)

NO.

VERDICT: NO.

EMBLA (Heroes Book 6 oh my god how many fucking books are there)

Oooh, she looks deranged! I like that; I'm a big supporter for women's wrongs.

VERDICT: ...Admittedly, she has more "wet drowned rat" appeal than sex appeal.

Book 7 isn't actually done yet (I think) as of time of this writing so I'm DONE. NO MORE.

[drhu0806]

Anyway I loved BG3, haven't played a good adventure game like that in a while, but you know what sometimes you just gotta get something off your chest and I'm going to bring up the worst part part of the game for me, an objectively shitty element of the game -

NUMBER ONE, THE WORST THING IN THE GAME FOR ME:

The camera. The fucking camera. Geezus fucking lord, forget fighting the Absolutists, the true enemy of the game was the goddamn camera because I was viciously fighting against it for more than half of the game. Act 1, it was , mostly because the environments were fairly open, not too many obstacles that block your view. Ran into a spot of trouble when I was fighting in an area with more buildings because FOR SOME FUCKING REASON there's no way to focus or differentiate between environments with multiple levels (more on that in a bit). Tactical view? Tactical view might as well not even fucking exist for all the good it does. No consistency in how much you can zoom in or out on a map, and even then it doesn't even fucking matter because you can't even zoom out that much to begin with, which renders tactical view borderline useless by itself.

Act 1 camera? Okay. Act 2? Starts getting a little dicey because there are more indoor and crowded maps, and trees everywhere. Which sucks because again, you can't toggle the branches. At least with roofs it makes sense because things can stand on top of them. But I never encountered an enemy that can sit in tree branches SO GET THEM OUT OF MY WAY, MAN.

And then came Act 3, the true hellscape gauntlet where the camera removed its plain, almost inoffensive exterior to reveal itself to be the disgusting shit demon it is. Gods have mercy on your soul if you find yourself in an indoor map--of which there are many in this act--with multiple accessible layers--I'm looking at you, Ramazith Tower--because you will not be able to see shit. Normal view? Can't see shit. Tactical view? If you could see negative shit, that would be what it is. If there is something that even slightly stands up vertically it will be guaranteed to get all up in your grill and block your view. You cannot escape it. You might as well just take some plastic utensils, cut them up into pieces, and tape them all over your screen. It's the exact same experience.

The camera is SO bad in fact that I think Dragon Age Origins, a game that came out in 2009, had a far more superior camera. It's really jarring because I don't remember having this problem with Divinity Original Sin 2

Uhhhhh anyway there are other QOL things I wished were in the game, like why the fuck are there so many steps to swapping out party members, woe be unto you if you only need to swap inventory because that's the biggest hassle in the world. But otherwise my greatest nemesis will always be the camera, catch me throwing hands with it next time if there is one.

[yokowan]

laplace transforms are a way of cheating at solving differential equations of one variable by turning them into algebraic equations of a different variable.

you just plug both sides of the equation into this weird looking integral:

since you're integrating with respect to t, the resulting transformed equation is no longer a function of t, it's a function of the new variable introduced, s.

on the surface this seems totally useless: you have to do a bunch of annoying calculus to turn one equation you don't know how to solve into another equation that's in terms of variables you don't care about. why would you do this? well, there's two useful properties.

first, the Laplace transforms of common functions are already known and they combine together in predictable ways. you never actually have to calculate them from the integral definition, you look up in a table what the transforms of different parts of the function are and just add them together. it's just like how you never solve integrals using the limit definition, you know the integrals of a few common functions and how they combine.

but Laplace transforms being easy to compute is one thing, it doesn't make them useful. what makes them useful is the way they work with derivatives. let's say our dependant variable x(t) has the Laplace transform X(s). then, if you take Laplace transform of the derivative x'(t), it works out to be sX(s) + x(0).

the Laplace transform of any nth derivative of a function is equal to the transform of the original function times s^n plus the initial condition. so, given the differential equation

x''(t) + 3x'(t) - 2x(t) = 0

the Laplace transform becomes

s²X(s) + 3sX(s) - 2X(s) - x'(0) + 3x(0) = 0

this equation is totally algebraic! you only have first order terms of X(s) with no derivatives! and then when you solve for X(s), you can use the same table you started with but in reverse to calculate the *inverse* Laplace transform, and you get the original function x(t). you just solved the differential equation doing absolutely no calculus! it's magical! for simple, linear ODEs it's definitely easier to just solve them the normal way, but with a lot of complicated non-linear differential equations, the Laplace transform makes unsolvable looking problems trivial!

if you didn't want an explanation and are annoyed that I bothered then uhhhhh pretend this isn't addressed to you and is instead addressed to any of my followers that currently might be studying diffeq kthxbye

toxic yuri relationship with differential equations

[finiffy]

My main grape about the designs (and really, the animation itself) is how bland and unexpressive it is.

you wanna flat 2d lineless art? Okay! Sure, but have some sort of shading or fun details. People made cool ass drawings of plants with only shading to help them.

No? You just want little to no shading with only the most prominent detail so you can differentiate everyone? I'll let it side for now........

Oh, you wanna use basic shapes? Sure, people had cool character design while only using triangle before. Mosiac art is really fucking cool, I would love to see it in more often outside out religion settings.

You're.... using basic shapes to.... draw a person? With no... you know... actual anatomy? Like no shapes that are thicker but get slimmer out to make an arm? Um. I guess you can be minimalist. Not that I like it.

Having only like, five colors to use at a time? It'll be a fun experiment to see how to use them. Wait. Are you only using colors on the pre-made color palettes? And only the first row of colors. You know you could scroll down to see more, and there’s a color wheel right? There’s a slider to choose lighter and darker colors as well.

Really? Only the most basic of all colors without the fun sliders? Fine fine, have fun.

Oh... you want to use the same character model? Uhhhhh, maybe you could use different colors and details to add more favor? You really want all of these people to look like an infinitely large family with only different haircuts and genders? If you’re doing like a horror animation where everyone is the same with only one very slightly different looking character, then go for it. The uncanny valley affect is interesting when the protagonist is the uncanny thing.

No? Then what the hell are you making? Scp Foundation content? Isn't that basically a horror archives with a weird mix of dangerous monsters to a sentimental soup bowl in addition to doctors with interesting characteristics trying to contain them? That’s like, the greatest way to explore character designs and you're wasting it on one simple model with 4 colors max and no shading?! For everything?!

And why are you doing this? What's preventing you from simply going all out?

Quick and simple artwork that can be made easily......? That can be made efficiently to make videos in order to make profits?

...

And Don't Get me Started On the Fucking Animation.

Having your characters move via motion graphics? I could see how that could work, if you mess around with how fast each character or setting move with their animations. That's another layer of detail! But there other ways to animate with better quality.

2d animation is much more interesting for a lot of reasons.

Pieces with slight jitters and fast animations to show how energetic and active they are; Like small animals running away, character who has fast reflexes and is constantly on the move, waterfalls. All of these move fast and look like a blur unless they slow down which they often don't do.

More smooth animation for most movement, add or decrease the amount of stutters depending on what's in motion. Slow on into near stop motion for well, slower things. Either have an extra frame to have them linger.

Y'know how things are sometimes faster than each other? That's what I'm saying.

Steam moves faster than smoke which means slightly faster animation. People move in their own ways. Elderly that are slow and careful with their steps. Teenagers range in the why they walk, popular students with confident strides, average kids just dodging and weaving their way through the crowd, maybe some kids wayy into anime naruto running around. Whoever they are, their animations should be able to highlight who they are.

3d would also work, just need to a model a character and start moving them around and adding little touches. No need to draw a new scene.

Meanwhile, McFuckingLazyAssMf known as Scp expla*ned decided to forgo all these possibilities to churn out truly brain dead content which is very bad for new up and coming Scp fans.

I also wanted to add, WhatInTheWorldAreThoseExpressions? Those are just sad. Actually scratch that! I can't even tell what "emotions" these little breadsticks are making. There's like a 3 second animation where the eyebrows move up or a painfully stupid attempt make a glare with two grey lines and scooching them like, half a centimeter to the left. They don't even bother to add gestures or body language.

These doctors have two different body gestures. Arms up for surrendering and panic which is wayyy to obvious, and the shrimp curl.

Where the hell are my doctors with hunched back? These fuckers can be bothered to sit up straight when there's a breach every 3 days or someone pissed off the senior doctors and now they might be in the cross fire of some revenge plan. Why the hell is everyone the same height? Clef is a manlet and isnt close to Kondraki's height. No, slenderman, siren head, long horse, and the cartoon cat aren't and will not be part of the scp foundation. Even then, it wouldn't be that hard to like, I dunno, block off the areas they live, stamp out amnestics, then start scrubbing through anything mentioning where you can find these spoopy fucks.

Not mention whitewhashing, gender swapping, or the fact LGBT characters are suddenly, well, not LGBT anymore.

-soap

^ All very fucking good points

[orkestrations]

D, H, L, M >:0

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

you did not insert a fic here so i’m just gonna go ahead and insert compass for you. fun fact, compass’ title actually comes from the song compass by two steps from hell! other songs i associate with it: the night we met by lord huron, heavy by linkin park, hymn for the missing by red, in case you don’t live forever by ben platt, star sky by two steps from hell, castle of glass by linkin park, i will never die by delta rae, thus always to tyrants by the oh hellos, and everything beautiful by samuel hazo.

H: How would you describe your style? 

long sentences. rambly in spots. a strong tendency to overuse dam metaphors. and storm metaphors. dialogue breathes with the characters.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? 

uhhhhh once, if you’re lucky. most of the times i write it n then post with very minimal editing. there are some fics that tend to get more editing: syzygy, just as a result of me having such a large chapter buffer, and triskelion, which spent an entire week with the betas before going up.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share? 

i already told you about dadmight time travel angst ;). i have MANY premises on the back burner. there’s the harry potter crossover, the FMA fusion.... *checks wip tracker* left turn, which is my vigilante izuku au, recalibrate, which is the longfic version of differentiate, to walk with wings, which is my winged izuku au, chasing thunderstorms, which is a dadmight future fic, i have the yet-untitled ageswap fic, doomsday the sleep plague fic has move to the back burner, i have Secret Fusion on the back burner, i have a take on the hero class civil war trope i’m working on .... i think that about rounds out most of my back burner ideas haha

i think the one i’m most excited about out of all of them is either chasing thunderstorms (whenever i figure out whatever the fuck is going on in here) or Secret Fusion.

fanfic ask game

[squishymochisoo]

more than a voice || hwang hyunjin

bulleted scenario 

genre: fluff, teeny weeny angst, college au

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

sypnosis: you, a mute piano major, would have never thought that hwang hyunjin, a dance major, would even look your way

~            ~           ~

• you’re a piano major — bUT the one thing that differentiated you and the others in your school was that

• you’re mute

•basicALLY one day after school hyunjin — dance major —was walking down the down the halls

•and just heard this BEAUTIFUL melody of the piano and was like freaking inspired by it

•it was like perfect for an dance assignment he had

• “uh hey” hyunjin voiced behind you as you were deep into playing,, he didn’t know youre name and has never seen you around

• i mean of course you didn’t turn around (cuz you didn’t hear him )

•he tapped your shoulder and you instantly turned

•your eyes widened

•i mEAN THAT PERFECT POPULAR STUDENT is right in FRONT OF YOU???

• “uh...h”

• honestly hyunjin forgot what he wanted to say when he saw your eyes

•he was like lost in them

• (CUTE THIS IS CUTE)

• and silence followed right after

•you stood up bowing as if to apologize

• basically you thought that he wanted the piano in the practice room (you are an AWKWARD BEAN!!)

• ,,, grabbing your bag and the hastily clumped the music scores (u were in the middle of writing a piece) together and like walked out the door briskly

• hyunjin stared after you before realizing you left one music sheet behind

• ‘fuck i forgot to get their name??? good going hyunjin??’

• THE NEXT DAY,,, he’d ask his group of friends if they knew you

•of course everyone was like ????

•partly because of hyunjin’s shit description of you

• “of you know that student that plays the piano in practice room 3”

• his friends are liKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE ARE LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHO PLaYED THE PIANO

• hyunjin would roll his eyes he knew his friends was gonna be rEALLY unhelpful

• he took out the music sheet you left behind,,, scribbles of notes surrounded the paper

• “oh? isn’t that y/n’s???”

•seungmin recognized your handwriting anywhere

• seungmin and you were friends

• one day you were playing the piano and seungmin complimented you and suddenly

•y’all friends

•he couldn’t speak sign but you could communicate just fine with him

•he always helped you when you were in need of a second opinion when you’re writing a piece

• “wHERE CNA I FIND THEM”

• desperation dripping from hyunjin’s voice

• “uhh they’re always at practice room 3 after class”

• “okAY BYE”

•seungmin didn’t even have time to tell him that youre mute

•this time hyunjin was already waiting in the practice room before you came in

•you’re like wtf??? when you saw him sitting in front of the piano

•hyunjin giggled at your look of shock and waved the music sheet you left behind in front of you

•you took back the sheet of paper and smiling lightly ask if to say thank you

• hyunjin njij thought you were just shy ( and was not comfortable with talking to strangers)

• you put your thing down and sat infront of the piano

•in your head you were still “what IS HE DOING HERE,,, like it was THE HYUNJIN ya know

• hyunjin took a chair and gestured as if asking permission to sit next to you

•you nodded ( just a little freaking shocked but okay)

• (ngl your eyes travelled down to his cute nose and his pouty lips for a little while)

• hyunjin stared at you as you started playing jotting down new notes

•liTERAL HEART EYES HONESTLY uwuuwu

• he smiled as you would tilt your head when you were stuck not knowing how to write the next bar

• after 15 minutes he fINALLY tapped your shoulders

•uhhhhh hi i’m hyunjin”

• kay you were like ??? cause it was been almost 20 minutes and he’s just introducing himself

• unbeknownst to you hyunjin’s mind was like a MESS during the past 20mins

• he wanted to talk to you but like hoW?

•plus he didn’t want to interrupt your bEAUTIFUL PLAYING

• you smiled before picking up your pencil and writing your name on the side of music sheet

• y/n

• hyunjin stared at you a little

• “o-oh.. you’re mute?”

• you gave him a tight smile and nodded

• ofc he was just reacting like everyone else uGH

• hyunjin saw yr reaction and was like nO NO NO

• he didn’t mean it that way he was like shocked ya know

• (cause he thought you were just shy)

• silence followed again

• hyunjin was mentaly encouraging himself to continue the conversation

• ‘c’MON HYUNJIN YOU CAN DO THIs’

• “uh...u..h would you like to perform with me?”

���your eyes went WIDE like whATT???

• is this kid srs right now?? you??

• “yesterday when i came in — the piece yoh were playing was amazing and i’d be so happy if you’d let me dance to it while you play”

•hyunJIN WAS SO SHY BUT LIKE HE WANTED TO PERFORM YOU

•ESPECIALLY AFT SEEING YOU WRITE YOUR PIECES WITH SUCH PASSION FOR MUSIC AND LIKE WOW

•wOW JUST WOW

•and well you agreed

• that’s how your friendship started

•it was hard to communicate at first bUT

•you didn’t know that hyunjin was learning sign languGe

•he wanted to mKe sure that you’re comfortable when talking to him

•( since you had to write everythign down,,)

•one day he invited you to eat with his griup of friends

•”well GUESS YOU DONT NEED ME ANYMORE HMPH”

•seungmin pouted 😤😤

•”y/n wont need you anymore when she has me!” hyunjin declared

•your heart sped up a little JUST A LITTLE

•the other laughed and teased hyunjin

• “oooOOOOHHH HYUNJIN”

•the two of you practiced really hard everyday after school

• you finishing up the last details of the piece and hyunjin choreograhping a dance

• yall spent so much time tgt that he knew your habits

•you’d bit your nails when you’re nervous or anxious

•the hyunjin’s assignment dateline was two weeks away and well yall were prepared and READY

•so instead of practicing everyday

•yall just hanging out tgt in prac room 3

• let’s be real hyunjin wasn’t discreet with his feelings for you but he wasn’t SO open abt it either

•it’s usually a “you look so beautiful today” or “i can’t stop staring at you”

•i mean like HOW BLIND ARE YOU

• you’re not so experienced in the relationship area

• so you’re like is he flirting with me???

• one day hyunjin found you crying in prac rm 3 aft school

•you weren’t bawling just sobbing — as if not to let anybody hear you cry

•it was because of your previous class!

• you were critized that your playing was emotionless almost robotic and that another piece you wrote for an assignment was shIT

•not to mention someone also said as you passed by

• “they’re just a mute,,, why are they here,,, tch not even talented”

• you felt untalented you felt like you didn’t belong here

• but you couldn’t explain it to hyunjin

• were you supposed to stop crying to write it down????

• hyunjin hugged you

• and comforted you “it’s okay you can cry on me”

• “you dont need to tell me “

• you glanced at him as the both of you sat close to each other — tights touching

• you sniffled

• he gave you an encouraging smile before signing

• tell me

• waIT SIGNED

• he SIGNED TO YOU

•wtf??!!? were you dreaming?? how?? when???

• your stAte of shock subsided and you signed to him — telling him everything that was bothering you

• hyunjin’s smile dropped — his eyes glassy,,, from seeing you almost tear up again

•he NEVER wanted to see you cry ever again!!!

•you are so talented please don’t—

• he stopped

• you could see the gears in his brain working not knowing the word ‘listen’ in sign

• you giggled as your arms went around him

• “you’re so talented. don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not. the nxt time somebody says that i’ll beat them up i promise” 👊👊

•you sniffled in his shirt

• “i also promise to study sign even harder “

• you didn’t manage to tell him but you were fucking TOUCHED

•never has anyone picked up sign for you

•you felt special

• you felt loved

• “and before i forget” hyunjin muttered,, his face pressed on the top of your head as he pecked it

• he let go of you

• and signed

• i love you

|||

my first try @ bulleted scenarios???? i wanted to write then i got lazy but i love and am invested in this plot line so i did a bullet scenario lmaoooo

but let me know if you like it and want more of this kind of writing??? also not beta’d cause i lazy 

[teamlarl]

4 / 13 / 26 / 30

4. How many roleplay blogs do you have?

...Too many. As of right now, I have three.

This one, @empathyphoenix, and @aeneasmuses

13. Are you interested in creating an oc and roleplaying as them?

...Um. I mean... *glances around at this entire blog*

26. Is there anything you can change about your skills as a roleplayer?

Okay this is a weirdly phrased question. Anything I can change or would like to change??? Anything I can change... what does that even mean... How would I change on a whim... Okay, let’s go with what I’d like to change.

I feel like my prose can be a little same-y. Similar structure, similar phrasing. Too stilted, you know? Too often it feels like I’m forcing it out with a hammer or something. I’d like to craft prose that flows more naturally.

30. Other than roleplaying, what’s your favorite hobby?

Uhhhhh... This is kind of my main one... I really enjoying analyzing and critiquing fictional media, if that counts? I’ve also recently kinda gotten into the production of animation. Like, not actually doing animation myself, but learning about the nuances that goes into it. It’s really fun learning how to differentiate different animators for any one scene just by little tells. It’s made me come to appreciate the craft so much more.

[blueinkblot]

11/11/11

Tagged by @multimousenette

1. What’s your least favourite WIP and why?

Uhhhhh it’s probably one I wrote for my fiction class - Open Hearted. I don’t really like the title and the plot was kind of forced because the stories for my class were supposed to be short and I didn’t have the time to develop out the plot.

2. Name a character that deserves to die but won’t and a character that doesn’t deserve to die but will.

OKAY. So I know I haven’t posted any excerpts from Know Thine Enemy on here (yet), but Danni/Raven/Katie/whatever the hell we called her/this dramatic bitch deserves to die and you can @ me about it. { @nonesofjune }

As for who doesn’t deserve to die... uh. I don’t really have anybody who doesn’t deserve to die but does at the present moment (or at least that I’m willing to tell you lol) because I don’t kill off characters much? Maybe I need to start doing that, idk

3. Are you exclusively creative or do you like traditionally “academic” subjects too? If so, which ones?

I’m majoring in biomedical engineering - which, all told, encompasses math (Calculus I, II, and III as well as Differential Equations and Linear Algebra), physics (Mechanics, and Electricity and Magnetism, though I’ve also taken a “modern physics” class that included some thermodynamics and quantum physics), biology (the one I’m required to take is cellular biology, which I’m loving), chemistry (basic chem I and II as well as organic chemistry, which was another class I loved), and computer science (which I learned C++ in) with my technical classes. 

I love how predictable math is and how you can transform it and make something wonderful out of it. I love how you can apply all these aforementioned subjects and apply them to the human body to solve these problems we’ve identified, and the feeling of getting something right or solving a problem is like nothing else.

4. Music or art?

Isn’t music an art?

5. Pick a character: do they prefer sweet or savoury?

Alice: Savory.

Elizabeth: Sweet.

Bianca: Sweet.

{the yet unnamed actress friend/sister}: Sweet.

6. What’s your favourite organisation method?

...I’m digging into the KonMari method rn and I plan to take it to my bedroom this summer.

7. Post its or pretty pens?

PRETTY PENS. Sorry Post-its, you’re helpful but there is nothing like a pretty pen. Except for a nice journal.

8. Notebooks or computer-based documents?

Yes.

9. Do you prefer to separate questions with a dot or a bracket?

? 

10. Washi tape or stickers?

fuck No you can’t do this to me. Probably stickers because I can never get washi tape to tear justright and using scissors on it feels sacrilegious somehow. 

11. What’s a tagline for a book you’ll never write?

If it’s a book I’ll never write, why would I have a tagline for it? ;)

Tagging: @mistyskii, @crypticsx, @francestroublr, @theswordofpens, @avatarwriting, @writernour, @sunrisecitrusuniverse, @minny-king, 

@rainy-rose, @smudged-glasses-writing, @kobalt-ink

1. Favorite writing snack?

2. Favorite and least favorite scenes to write?

3. Someday I’d love to write a book on...?

4. If you write longhand, pencil or pen? If you write on the computer, do you ever color your text?

5. Favorite place to write?

6. Favorite kind of stationery?

7. Have you ever gotten in trouble for writing?

8. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a story?

9. Have you ever written a story off of a dream?

10. What was your favorite thing you’ve ever written for school?

11. What’s your favorite book you read for a class?

[melancholicmoefoe]

1- iconic, I grew up with this style like many others. It's very nostalgic to look at. They all have different(some more distinctive than others) facial features like Lagoona having HUGE fish eyes, Draculauras lips being plump like all hell and different noses for each character. They designed these very well.

10/10 because of the nostalgic value but also the designs are flawless.

2-weird 3d model thing,I have to admit they still have a charm in their own special way ..the translation from 2d to 3d ain't that bad in my opinion ,although the shiny ass hair I've never understood,it just looks greasy lmao. There's noticable colour differences between the wave one 2d and 3d but I personally always liked that... is more like... gothic if you get my drift.

9/10 again nostalgia, for what they had they adapted well enough to 3d. Glossy hair is shit :| why did they do that?

3- I can see that some characters translated better than others into this mix between chubbie and anime style. Draculaura obviously fits perfectly with her over all style and design in the original, Cleos rendition is my favourite. Although it's a different colour variation it suits her and the art style. I'm most surprised at how Frankie doesn't look too bad,Clawdeen looks great too. But WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKINF HAPPNED TO LAGOONA?! They did my bby dirty like all fuck. That definitely knocks points off... what went wrong? I thought she would be the second most easiest (right behind Draculaura) to translate because of her big eyes and all that but... nvm

6/10 good translation into a very different style on most characters,surprisingly in many aspects. Solid points knocked off because of whatever happened to Lagoona,poor bby :(

4- they do look adorable and the weird glossy hair is gone. Although I don't like the fact that some facial features like the noses and lips that differentiated them from each other,were made the same.They should've also just kept Clawdeens hair one solid colour. It feels a bit repetitive and cluttered for all the main characters to have highlighter coloured hair. Obviously the quality of these 3d renditions are better and higher quality but the reboot designs lack the beautiful dark alternative charm the old ones had that we all fell in love with,especially with the clothing. At least Cleo and Lagoona look great:)

7/10 good 3d renditions and higher in quality,no more glossy hair! The redesigns of the characters lack the alternative charm,too much highlights in hair,missing differentiating facial characteristics.

5- uhhhhh,the fuck happned with the placement of the lips specifically... it looks like the rip off of the wave 1 designs. Lagoona and Cleo specially look dumb af. I don't like Clawdeen and Draculaura either,surprisingly Frankie's is the best... out of that row but still not good at all. But at least they brought back the different nose and lip shapes and the hair design is not that bad,just really sad that they look so fucking ugly...

4/10 design/placement of facial features is horendous, like the fact that they brought back the different facial features back but sadly with a shit execution. The hair isn't half bad.

6- the harsh black lines are a no, the boxiness is too boxy...why are Draculauras eyebrows pink and Lagoonas blue? It just blends too much into their skin,the black suited Draculaura just fine and I really liked Lagoonas purple eye brows, they suited her a lot with her colour scheme and it was a refreshing from the other characters. Draculauras fucking tiny ass mouth and the gaping mouths of Cleo and Lagoona are horendous and frankly annoy me... this is my least favourite 'rendition'...

2/10 the harsh black lines aren't it, boxy style is rubbish. Hate the mouths and they definitely did Cleo and Lagoona dirty again.

The five main ghouls throughout the years. 

Which rendition is your favorite?

[britshits]

ship ! for the Gays™

ship ! meme — rudy x nate.

who throws things in a fight ?

no one ! i don’t see them fighting much at all, but esp. not throwing things.

who goes to their parent’s house for a weekend when things get bad ?

laughs eternally at the idea of either of these two going to their PARENTS’ houses to get away, like… pigs would truly fly.

who wants to have children ? who doesn’t ? if both do, how do their goals differentiate ?

both do, though nate wants them more immediately, bc he thinks he’s getting Old™. ru doesn’t feel like the clock’s ticking in the same way; he’ll be happy when the time’s Right and it doesn’t matter to him if it takes 10 years for that to happen.

who is more averse to physical contact ?

bich they always cuddling or resting heads in each other’s laps or just touching in general, what kinda bs ????????

who hates/dislikes their neighbors the most ?

probably nate ? rudy’s only gonna have an issue with someone if they’re total tosspots ( and even then, he’ll bend over backwards to give them the benefit of the doubt ) so i feel like if they end up with c*ntish neighbours, it’s gonna be nate who actively dislikes them while his boo is just ((((((: hoping things don’t escalate.

who hates/dislikes their significant other’s family ?

bruh .. their respective parents are bags of shit, so both tbh. that said, nate also has el for a sister and ru ( rightly ) thinks she’s Wonderful, so that claws some points back for his side of the fam, with a few more coming from the Hets.

who is most likely to leave when things get rough ?

well, we know nate sometimes disappears when “things get rough” regarding his addiction, so him ig ? i don’t see either of them just walking out over a general, relationship rough patch, really.

who thinks their partner turned out a different person than they thought ?

can i say both ? i feel like there were probs a couple of preconceived notions abt what each other were gonna be like when they first met, esp. given how and why they met, but ofc those got jettisoned into the aether as they got to know each other and fell ~In Luv~.

who is more likely to cheat ?

neither ! they reside inside each other’s assholes !

who is the more experienced ( sexually or otherwise ) ?

idk what “otherwise” means like ?? more experienced with what ??? finances ???? modern farming techniques ?? life in general ?????? anyway ! sexually, they’ve both been around the block more than a few times, but if we’re going on sheer number of partners / sexual things they’ve done, then it’s gotta be ru, purely bc of his job.

who hates/dislikes their significant other’s friends ?

rudy in my head like “what friends ?????” 😂😭 bc he has like .. two ? nate probs doesn’t like some of his ““friends”” though – i.e. acquaintances who are kind of dicks, but not big enough dicks for ru to wanna rock the boat. as for nate’s m8s ( hehe ) rudy’s gonna be chill w/ them as long as his mans is. EDIT: @VAL PLS KIL ME FOR FORGETTIN U !!!!! nate wins on m8s purely for having valerie as one of them,, ru Luvs her ( even if she does drag nate 2 heck ).

who wants to go to social gatherings the most ?

they both do their fair share of obligatory socialising for work ( or, at times, family ) so idk. mayhaps rudy. i feel like he’s the one who’s going to be suggesting they go to certain social things more often.

who is most likely to be dishonest ?

hm… if we’re talking Actively, i’d say rudith. he’s constantly, casually dishonest, in the sense that he’ll say everything is Fine and Lovely in 90% of public scenarios, and not speak his true thoughts for other ppl’s sake… tho ig they both guilty of that at times.. looks @ nate’s underlying feelings r.e. rudy’s job.

who is more emotionally closed off and how does this affect their partner ?

i mean, these gay asses are very good at expressing their positive emotions to each other in general so ?? ru is probs more closed off in that he won’t voice Anything negative until pushed to a breaking point, while nate is more closed off in the sense that he’s not a weeping mess at the drop of a hat. six of one, half a dozen of the other tbh.

who is the dessert person ?

ru fighting his inner hads vc bc it’s trying to give a nastie ass answer, but yee, it’s probs him. he got one hell of a sweet tooth, like @nate if u wanna see a pound of vanilla pudding disappear in .5s, then just ask ya boo.

who is more conservative ?

the word “conservative” been fuckcn tarred !! i hate it !!! anyway ! uhhhhh im gonna say nate, not bc that’s a word i’d use to describe him, but literally just bc he’s not the one who runs a sex ed youtube channel in his free time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

who hates/dislikes oral sex ?

where’s that gif of harru on stage almost collapsing bc he laughing so hard ??? bc that’s the Mood™ of this q !

[ialpiriel]

5, 10, 15, 20, 25 for lucy!

5 - How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

if you did not meet lucy before the age of 16, there is no way she can possibly 100% trust you, no matter what. shes also just generally really easy to scare off. better to be cautious with your friendship than too trusting

10 - What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

i cant…..remember any lies up through whats posted w WDN so far so uhhhhh. idk, tbh. pre-legion stuff feels incredibly distant and all her lies then would be of the ‘fledgling broke the toy’ caliber, not anything Big, and anything post-legion would have been done in pursuit of survival, so she wouldn’t regret it.

15 - How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

left to her own devices, she can be kind of a smartass, or she tends toward being quiet and observant, and thinking before she speaks to calculate what she needs to say to get the result she wants

20 - If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

im not sure tbh? i think lucy has a hard time differentiating feelings outside of a very basic sort of, like. ‘good and lots, bad and lots, good and a little, bad and a little, mixed and a lot’ framework without a lot of handholding over it. she can obviously tell the difference between how she feels abt siri vs like, how she feels abt head vulture, but im not sure she could sit down and use words to explain how they’re different outside of the concrete actions she wants to take in relation to either of them

25 - What are their thoughts on marriage?

its bullshit. she has a husband and she hates him. fuck that guy.

[thejonymyster]

scri¶t

episode about bright

_--_-_--_

so yeah i never write about bright so. here it comes!!!

another bright early morning with bright. ok wait i need a way to differentiate the adjective bright from the character bright. for this script i will be capitalizing Bright's name

Bright is just el waking up from being asleep all night i guess? more like after passing out from exhaust. Bright, a being of bioluminescence, has often found it difficult to get some decent shuteye, due to being really bright. id like to see you try to sleep with glowing eyes and eyelids. actually no thats creepy i do /not/ want to watch you sleep.

but yeah bedtimes aside, Bright is just waking up this morning, actually fairly well rested. he goes to the bathroom and brushes his freakin teeth and all and uh.

so he gets dressed in Proper clothes (that you cant really see anyways because Bright is just too effin bright) and steps out of his room

bright: ok so what was the plan for today

Bright only a little bit talks to himself like only for remembering things or like when youre watching the movie and the character is alone and hes talking to himself so the audience knows what hes thinking. you know what i mean?

bright: theres reffing, then book club, then uh. hm *goes back inside and checks the calendar* well i guess i just dont have much planned today. i got all dressed up for nothin haha.

bright: hm.

bright: guess ill walk around and see whos up

like literally hes only talking to himself so you know what hes thinking about now. i guess

so Bright locks his door and walks down the hallway to the elevator and rides it down to the third floor

el bright: *walks over to room 326 and knocks on the door quietly*

[a short pause] tallstar: just a minute im getting dressed

bright: w- oh ha, good one

tallstar: (upon arrival to the door) thanks ive been pr*clears throat*acticing

bright: so whats up

tallstar: nothing much i just kind of, got up. ... .,,. ,any plans?

bright: well, actually, not really. todays pretty empty for me, but like i havent had breakfast yet so if youre not up to anything maybe we could go hit the diner or something?

tallstar: really? with: me? a-re you asking, me.. out??

bright: ahaha yeah! i mean!! not asking you out.. like technically that would be asking you in. since its still inside the... no i mean i /am/ asking you, but just as a friend. friends hang out and eat food sometimes, it happens.

tallstar: oh! hahah*choke*hh o-ok well wbut i gotta say to you. to tell you. im real sorry *swallow* but uh i ghave admit i always thought of you as more of a friend of a friend.. you know? with henry

bright: thats fair, we dont really hang out all too much and he is usually there when we do.

oh man im so tired suddenly its like 12:34 am right now

goodnight heckers

-__-_-__-

bright episode part two the electr who cares about that meme <--! note to selfthat title will nottramslate well--> oh also give the waiter a name -_-_-_-_-_-_-

when we left off bright was asking tallstar to breakfast but i was too tired to write him saying yes and putting that dialogue now disrupts el flow so im just telling you instead

At El Diner

and its not like a date or anything

so bright and tallstar are sitting at a table since tallstar doesnt really fit in the booth. but dont worry its not like hes never had the chance to sit in a booth, like, ever or something. hes sat in booths before

here comes the waiter

waiter: good morning, my name is Staff Member #4, ill be your waiter. do you want to start off with some drinks now?

bright: ill have some orange juice

waiter: uh huh... and what would you like? *looks at tallstar expectantly*

tallstar: uh ill just have a water

waiter: ok! anything else?

tallstar and bright both look like theyre about to say something but its impossible to tell because brights face has no contrast and tallstar just has no face. there is a long silence

waiter: alright well ill go get your drinks and you can figure out what you want to eat. *leaves*

tallstar: achoo!

bright: bless you

tallstar: thanks

a long uncomfortable pause

bright: hey uh... did you want anything else?

tallstar: oh, no, and, i was wondering the same thing, i just didnt want to *stomach growl* ha um i didnt want to say like "no were good" without knowing if you were done ordering *coughing*

bright: yeah same here, same here

tallstar: right

the waiter comes back with the drinks

waiter: heres your water and heeres youur orange juice. have you decided what you guys want to eat yet?

bright: not really, i still need some time to think

tallstar: yeah i uh forgot to look im sorry

waiter: thats fine, enjoy your drinks and ill be back later to check up on you guys ok?

tallstar and bright simultaneously:

just kidding, bright says ok but tallstar coughs

the waiter leaves again and bright takes a sip of orange juice and the whole thing is pretty awkward its like awful i feel like this script is bad but i! dont care :)

tallstar: ok yeah this is *noise* starting to feel like a date

bright: yeah, youre right, my bad. youre a pretty good date, though

tallstar (flustered): wh-dont flirt with me!!! thhats just makes it.,,, more of a date!!,,..

bright: sorry aa!!

_-_-_-_-_-_-_

bright part 3: revenge of the fallen

''-_--_-''

so

tallstar and bright have gotten their food. bright ended up ordering some kind of omelet and tallstar got some pancakes. ooh babay

bright takes a bite of his omelete

bright: hey this is really good

tallstar: what did you order

bright: uh the *reading off the menu* "hey cool wow omelete". hows your pancakes?

tallstar: theyre the *gasp* "cool guy flappetty jacketties" and i havent tried them yet. who names these things? haha

bright: yeah i know righ—

bright has a sudden and shocking revelation: he has no idea whatsoever how tallstar eats, or if he needs help, or if he eats at all or.,, anything.

and now he wants to know

bright: –t.

but is it rude to ask?? it seems kind of. strange and personal but like. it seems like something people always would be asking... like is he tired of explaining? i

bright just looks down at his plate just. like eyes widened from shock and surprise you know?? not that you can see the eyes since. bright is very. glowing.

absentmindedly poking at his omelete, bright just wants to avoid eye contact? but of course bright remembers that nobody can see his face, and therefore no matter what face he makes nobody will be the wiser that. hes making a really weird face. like the face you make when you arent sure if you should say something that you really want to say.

tallstar: oh this tastes good

bright looks up at tallstar and then down at tallstars plate to see a big bite taken out of his pancake

bright:

bright: can i ask you kind of a personal question

tallstar: uh..,,

tallstar: ..yeah ok sure

bright: its just

bright: how did you... eat that

tallstar: oh... hahaha!! i thought it was ... gonna be really personal!

tallstar laughs genuinely and bright laughs nervously

tallstar: no but like check it out its *half cough* really cool look

he then turns sideways and uses his arm thing to cut a piece of his pancake out, then he leans down forward and pokes his arm thing through the pancake, and then he leans backward and lets the pancake slide down his arm (he doesnt eat it with syrup or this would be real gross) and land on the weird circle thing at his center torso dealie. then he sort of. the circle part just. absorbs the pancake slowly. its. wow. what the. wh. ok. hwow. ok. alright. uhhhhh

bright: w— wow.

tallstar: pretty cool right??

bright:

bright: yes

,,_-__-_,,

[softdragon]

i completely get u on feeling insulted, i was literally talking to my friend when the poster came out (she's not like, in the 'fandom' or anything but she does love httyd to bits) and my first reaction of the poster was to just laugh at it and make fun of it and move on, but like, she saw it and was instantly upset and angry. and at first i didn't get it, i was like 'ok its not that deep' but then she said it was just so patronising how they made a female fury and its instantly GLITTERY and WHIMSICAL and BLUE-EYED ANGELIC and SHIMMERY, etc etc, like they made it.... so pretty and feminine so its OBVIOUS its female. and as soon as she said that i realised it too and i was like...... holy shit

i even made a joke about that pink Stitch hahahaaa. the light fury's not the WORST feminine design for an animal, at least it's not got a large busy and eyelashes and pink undertones or anything like that one female Stitch character..... but still. i didn't even think dreamworks would stoop SLIGHTLY to that level, i trusted them and thought the light fury would be like every other androgynous dragon, but uhhhhh nope. every other dragon type gets to look the same and there's no obvious way to differentiate between the males and females, but furies???? NOPE those dragons are clearly Special and it's important that tje light fury is Beautiful and Shimmery!! that's the priority here folks!!!

like, femininity is more than just... glitter and shimmer and prettiness. u can't just slap all that together and call it a girl, that's the part thats so insulting

im soooo not on board with the poster, it's so... ugly? and trippy? it's so bad??? like it's the epitome of 'graphic design is my passion'

DUDE I get you so much on the graphic design thing. I studied composition and imagery in marketing. This is literally EVERYTHING you shouldn’t do. It’s just so wrong. It looks bad. And the message of it is everything I didn’t want in the third movie. As I said it here, it kinda looks like a 2002 poster for a DVD released movie.

 I think the thing that most bothers me is that they made is ABUNDANTLY clear is a feminine angel. Just look at Meatlug and Stormfly for heavens sake… I mean… Are we 100% sure they’re females?? because you know… I don’t see the parkly scales and beautiful eyes. I just see two normal dragons, who happen to be female. I kinda felt a little insulted by how femenine that dragon had to be… It’s like Stitch’s mate, that pink one? remember??? UGH I can’t. The more I look at it the more it makes me angry. Not to mention this really looks like one of those 2010 DeviantArt fanarts that I never got the pleasure of enjoying (I totally avoided them, they were definitely not my thing) since it felt so fanfictiony… and just cliche. idk.

I have no idea what’s gonna happen and I’m genuinely scared. I have FAITH in Dean, I really do. I know this is not some ugly RTTE nightmare version os animation, but after that it totally brought me some of those vibes… 

I’m so sorry but I just couldn’t stop myself from just NOT liking this poster and everything it represents. Though we’ve heard that the script is impecable I really hope so because after this they’re gonna need to win me back. I just want that teaser to come out so that I know for sure. This is just a wave of unsecurity and I just want to drop all my comments until I see the real thing… I really hope I’m wrong.

EDIT: About those theories about it being an acuatic dragon are not so bad, maybe it could make some sense???? but still my first impression was to scream at that dragon…. idk

[unsocialspecies]

Jeffrey and his dear ol ma and pa find a sleepy little hotel in some small town on theyr way to see cousin randall up north young jeff has been against the trip from the start he says it interferes with his partying and he doesn’t really relate to people who sleep. As his parents drift off and he is left to his thoughts his mind begins to race. He finds the down time unbearable and hes nearly chewed a hole threw his tounge. Suddenly he bolts upright in bed He turns to where his parents are sleeping and yells “yo dad psssst pops where the party at?   what the hell you sleepin for are you a lazy fuckin bum or something??” His father a costumed to jeffs shenanigans calmly retorts back “Son shut your fucking mouth its 1 a.m” Damn … well I tried. Jeff says to himself as he lays back down. Thoughts of hoodrat shit le cigarettes honkey tonks and hangin with blue collar gentlemen and rollin bolo back home streak across his mind he remembers the good times digging through trash staring at radio tower lights all night with ol boy Jr all the lurpage that’s going on back at the trap without him and all the fun hes missing out on. Fuck it he swings out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom “ight pops get to sleep you lazy fuck ill be in the bathroom probably jerkin my gerkin till sunrise Oh  ill try to act surprised when you bust in at 3am to take a piss but no promises after the 4th time it loses its excitement and after the last one remember when I was trying to hit a bolo and slap my sausage at the same time well it just want the same . After that I kinda just put it off as one of those thing that happen Anyway if you ever decide to stop being lame and show some interest in the finer things in this life well you know where to find me I got the firest dope in the whole trailer park this shit will fuuuuuck your whole life it aint dope if it doesn’t make you regret all your life choices take a hit of this and you will come out of your zone 5 years later  you will notice your in an  r.v and theres pictures hanging up of you and a dog eating wedding cake together you are wearing a huge white  dress but whats this .. No it couldn’t be the dog is in a tux and you realize that dog in the picture that dog eating cake with you …That’s now your husband and that’s when it hits you … you realize how good that fucking dope was and your like duuuude im so glad my son let me party with him that night so dad in conclusion come on don’t you wanna have some good friendly fun with crystal meth . Jeffs father has become a bit triggered after hearing another weird fucking story that  probably came about from some fucked  hallucination jeff accidentally filed under reality  Jeffs dad says “Son im not and I never ever will join in on your weird fucked up activities iv seen enough I don’t want to dabble in anymore of your tweakery than I have to”              Well dad that’s on you and if those are the kind of selfish choices you want to make in life then I cant tell you what to do just remember im not mad im just disappointed now give me the wifi password so I can go set up  headquarters and get some videos buffered up its gonna be long night nuts don’t bust themselves it’s a lot of hard work and blood and sweat and tears. Jeff grabs the wifi password and locks himself in the bathroom. AHHHHH bliss I should get paid for this he chuckles to himself before getting down to business first things first he pulls out his pookie and blows the fattest cloud on record. Then its time. He is focused like hes on a mission from god. After he stretches and gets in the zone The suddle slapping of a monkey is the only noise heard throughout the night. Hours pass by but to jeff time is only made up it does not exist in his reality A thump against the door startles him out of focus and breaks the steady pattern of fapping goddamit jeff whispers . the door crashes open as his dad comes in rubs his eyes and realizes whats going on  “oh for god sake  son  your gonna rub your godamn dick off at this rate if you spent as much time collecting pennies off the ground  as you do peddlin on your pecker iv swear Iv become numb to all this shit I ll probably walk in next time and you will be bent over the sink reaching an arm back fingerboppin your asshole what do you wan… Dad …dad jeff interrupts his fathers breakdown to ask an important question  “WHAT???!!! JEFF what is it” uhhhhh I wanted to ask you if it was normal for a shaft to go numb…. Not me though my penis is healthy . Im asking for a friend. jeffs father has a distant stare on his face as he shakes his head slowly back in forth and scratches at his hair “OK YOU WIN JEFF never have I heard of anyone BOMBING THE FUGGIN universe as much as you have in one day every time I think it cant get anymore disappointing you proceed to bypass your previous shame by miles. You are the definition of a terminal illness growing like a godamn tumor. Don’t get up from your throne I wouldn’t wanna come between you and the only true passion iv ever seen you have for anything. Ill just piss outside oh and to let you in on a little something something your mom explained last night her growing dislike towards you its not about the drugs or trannies you brought to grandmas last month its “THAT stupid fucking look on your face  your always making she cant stand it   and if it continues to intrude on her life she will have to take a hammer and bash it until it caves in on itself the bright side is we can go to the Halloween store and pick you out a mask. Think of it like that show where they tear apart those shitty houses and make them look amazing…. But hey maybe it wont come to that just practice in the mirror son try really hard to not look retarded I know just be strong if anything just think about that Halloween mask you will get to wear. Jeff sighs…. Oh my good godamn I see how it is I figured something was fishy but didn’t look into it due to a mix up in differentiating between pychosis and  my incredible intuition. see I pick up on small things that the normal person would never even think about but due to paranoia and sleep deprivation sometimes I just confuse red flags as my own made up dellusion. Ya know whaa….But there was no point explaining the situation to his dad for the old man must of  lost focus and walked off right at the beginning…. Well some people just don’t function  on this high of a brain frequency  almost makes ya feel sorry for em. They cant help being fools. Oh well I got other shit to take care of important stuff . He quickly makes a calculation in his head and decides if he cannot climax by sun up he will go to the doctor but  150 google searches 300 different adult websites and an undetermined number of computer viruses Young jeff finaly got the sweet satisfaction he had set out to find he let out a sigh of relief although it was short lived  because as soon as his heels touched back down on the bathroom floor his legs both cramped and jeff let out a horrific scream as he crumbled to the ground. after dragging the lower half of his body across the bathroom and crawling over into the bathtub he dove deep into his mind body and spirit….. Bingo “ I should just sit next time im whoopin the worm that way my legs don’t get weak and I don’t lose feeling in my lower extremities  next time I bust a nut” suddenly he felt a lot better about things see most people wouldn’t take the time to figure out why life dealt such a hard blow but not jeff he took in every factor anlysed the situation and he aint gonna make the same mistake more than maybe 3 times .  So there he sat waiting for his leg muscles to return to the correct places. Hmmmmm “you like that you like it when people get injured while jerking off as you watch the whole thing and laugh about later with your no good hippie step son”!!!he began pondering the existence of god   he flipped his pecker like some toy from a souvenir shop it helped him think smarter he wondered if even though he had no faith in the holy spirit and was not a believer why it felt so good to talk shit to god  maybe im having a spiritual awakening or just need somebody to blame. Ah maybe I should pray perhaps prayer is just another  method of begging .The man upstairs sounds like the haggling type of son a bitch maybe hes into horse trades. Then jeff did something he aint never done before he bowed his head stopped playing with his damn pecker put his hands together and prayed “Lord I don’t know if your listening but im in some trouble nothing too bad but… just please if you hear this gimme some feeling in my legs back I learned my lesson I heard somewhere theres no choking the chicken in heaven I know it cant be true though because what would heaven be if you couldn’t beat your meat every now and again. Anyway maybe that whole leg cramp thing was a god given sign of some sort but it was totally unnecessary now Iv not been on too good terms with you because back a couple months or so when I lost that portable dvd player under a truck wheel in the driveway and getting crushed. I blamed joe joe bean for the longest time but considering the holy spirit in charge of shit around here is you I figure you’re the sorry son a bitch that put joe joe up to something like that.