#How to Crypto

[casterhex]

stan pines would learn about the existence of crypto and be confused about why all these suckers are throwing their life savings away on money that doesn't even exist. then he realizes all these suckers are throwing their life savings away on money that doesn't even exist and shortly afterwards "stancoin" is born. gravity falls-typical hijinks ensue

[veryintricaterituals]

When I was in school I went to a friend's house to work on a project on a Friday afternoon. At about 6 or 6:30 when the sun was about to set her mom called us over to the livingroom. She lit two candles with my friend and then they proceeded to put the lit candles inside of a little cupboard so no one could see them. Me, a young jewish teenager asked her, my catholic friend, why they did that and she shrugged, said it was a family tradition to bring peace and prosperity, that the women of the family did it every friday evening and then hid the candles. They were very catholic, so I bit my tongue and we went back to her room to study.

This is just one of many, many, crypto jewish traditions that still exist in my hometown of Medellín, Colombia and I want to share a little bit about them with you.

Medellín is the capital city of a region called Antioquia and it is currently the second biggest city in my country. Now the weird thing about my region and my city more specifically is that it is in the middle of fucking nowhere, like we are in a valley in the middle of the andean mountains and it would take over two weeks by river, horse and river, and dunkey and mule to even get here before the invention of cars or trains.

Now Medellín was founded over 400 years ago, and families had been coming to the region for way before then, so that means that for centuries getting to my city from the sea or from the other big cities in the country was incredibly hard. This was by design, because Medellín itself was founded by about 28 families and we know for a fact that alteast half of them were crypto jews hidding from the Spanish Inquisition, and both before and the foundation more and more jewish families arrived to the region.

This is a known fact, the DNA of the people from the region has a lot of sepharadic jewish mixed in there. Early Colombian literature dating up to the 1845 would call the people of my region the Neogranadine Jews or the Colombian Jews. But because they were crypto jews the religion and most of the traditions were lost during the 400 years that have passed, now over 90% of the population is catholic and don't really know about their origins.

But some things stuck. And I want to tell you about them.

On the 7th night of December there is this pre-christmas festival called "El día de las velitas" or the little candle night that started and was unique to Antioquia. It's supposed to commemorate the candles that people had in the streets and the windows on the night Jesus was born and that helped Mary and Joseph to find their way. Do you know how this unique festival is celebrated in my city? People take to the streets to light candles, small colorful candles that they put in wooden planks or directly on the streets, it's the night that people decorate and turn on the christmas lights and it is so important and popular that we have an actual day off on the 8th of december.

Let me show you a few pictures

I don't think I need to explain this one. Even most goyim will know about Hannukah. But it is the weirdest thing when the dates coincide and we are all lighting candles together.

My dad was in the Jewish community board and we needed to rent a place to put our jewish daycare. They found this beautiful old house that had belonged to a family in colonial times but needed a little TLC. We had them remove some wooden floors because they were too old and rotting and found a huge Magen David made out stones in the center of the floor. The house also happened to have two separate kitchens and a mikveh or immersion bath in one of the rooms. These a very traditional things that colonial houses have in my region.

My grandmother converted to Judaism so I have a side from my family that is 100% from here and didn't arrive during the 20th century. I had the pleasure to meet both of my great grandparents from that side though they died when I was young. My grandma tells me that my greatgrandmother used to have one of these immersion baths in her house when she was growing up. Women were supposed to bathe in them after their periods had ended, my catholic great grandmother respected the mikveh traddition more than I ever have.

(I wish I had photos from that specific house but this happened over ten years ago, I'll show you some immersion baths from a different colonial houses that are also in my city)

Now how about we talk about traditional clothes. I'm sure most of you have heard of Ponchos, which are traditional in the Andean region, well the one from Antioquia is a little different and it's always supposed to be worn with a hat. Let's see if you can spot what I mean.

A few years ago Spain decided to grant citizenship to the descendants of the Jewish people that they had exiled in 1492. To get it you had to prove through family trees that your family had been Jewish. My city got the most ammount of passports out of everyone in the world, more than Israel. I could have applied from both my family that came from Egypt in the 20th century (we still have the keys to our house in Spain) or through my catholic side, as both of my grandmother's last names applied. I didn't but I could have.

I don't really know why I decided to finally write this post. I have so many more stories. I just think it's both incredibly sad that so much Jewish culture and people were lost but also it's a little heartwarming to see what survived even centuries down the line.

[sandushengshou]

the vampire lestat in the media (1/2)

[kaiserouo]

(prev | next | first)

10/10 best company ever to work in

also getting the icon was a fucking hassle

add contrast → soft invert color (transformation function kinda like 1 - sigmoid) → binarize → gaussian blur

i guess i did learn something from that computer vision class

[borzoilover69]

Breaking news: that one crypto bro and that problematic celebrity aka the absolute worst people you know teamed up and now they go clubbing together and talk shit about you.

Honestly I see Dave and Jake hanging out postgame as super canon to me if only to piss off Jakes ex and Daves brother. Go clubbing together or something because sober Jake canNOT stand Daves bullshit. They hookup once or twice it happens bro.

The contrast between their outfit choices are fun too!! I want to do a closet study of the character’s postgame… who do you think i should do?

[coolreallifes]

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[catbountry]

Look, I know the Deltarune fandom has collectively decided that pre-Big Shot era Spamton is called "Addispam," but for interpersonal characterization reasons, I write the Addisons calling Spamton "Spamison." By putting the "Spam" in his name right up front as a prefix, it serves to further alienate Spamton from them. They want to remind him that he is not like them; he is a short, janky prototype, an old guy using tactics from a pre-commercial Internet that are much slower and easier to get around than banner ads and pop-ups. He is an inferior version of themselves and they make sure that he isn't allowed to forget it. His tactics are so disliked by internet users that his unsolicited emails are labeled "spam" by a bunch of nerdy users that think quoting Monty Python is peak humor (this was very common in nerd circles in the 90's and early 2000's; trust me, I was there and I was doing it). Perhaps "Spamison" suggests that he be called "Addispam" just to feel a little bit more included, to feel like he could be one of the Addisons, only for the Addisons to ignore this suggestion unless they want favors from him.

Spamton hoarding money to make Pipis nests or just straight-up eating it comes from him having experienced a time where, for years, he did his job and making money wasn't a thing he even thought about until he was forced to flee from a decommissioned ARPANET to NSFNET, which was still a government program but with more private interests involved, and then flee AGAIN to the increasingly commercialized World Wide Web. Having money means that his home won't be abandoned or destroyed. It means he won't go hungry or sleep out in the cold alone. He was never cut out to be a salesman. He actually really sucks at it, no matter how much he tries, and has to resort to outright, blatant scams, preying on the most gullible users out there and barely scraping by as spam filters become more and more common for email clients. Being a Big Shot provided stability, safety, and having so much money meant that he could indulge in its excesses and the power it brought, going completely go to his head and giving him a massive ego because now he is important and famous and people want to be around him. And then when the phone calls stopped, he was rudderless, unable to pick up on anything useful to keep from going bankrupt almost immediately. Money allowed him to thrive, and he needs money in order to barely survive.

There's definitely a lot more of this I'd like to properly explore that I haven't even mentioned. But the idea of him having had to uproot his entire existence, twice, just to be able to find a home that wouldn't be destroyed, is something I haven't seen anybody else expand upon. He's in his 40's and didn't have an actual childhood, instead just being created fully formed as The Email Guy, and going from that, to Spamison, to Big Shot Spamton, to the glitchy, dumpster-dwelling Spamton G. Spamton we've all come to know and love.

Also I like the idea of him always having been short to really give him that short man syndrome that later goes into a full-blown Napoleon complex and serves as yet another reason for him to resent the Addisons. They treat him like a young, exploitable intern despite the fact that Spamton is nearly two decades their senior based on the fact that he's so much shorter than them, he has eight fingers instead of ten, and he's inexperienced in sales, the thing that the Addisons were created for. Indignity upon indignity.

TL;DR:

[kaiserouo]

my heart fucking melts

[fagknowledge]

Do NOT let that divorcee become God. He's never gonna shut the fuck up about Bitcoin if he becomes God

[handweavers]

sorry it's still so funny that crypto and nfts like exploded and died after all that nonsense pyramid scheme scam shit and superbowl ads and bitcoin mining rigs ruining everything including the environment and it was all for nothing, it didn't change the world it didn't revolutionize anything it was all a complete scam and what remains of it still is. like blockchain tech isn't going anywhere it's probably going to exist in some capacity for the foreseeable future and crypto in general still exists (and existed before it became mainstream popular) but the vast majority of nfts, cryptocurrencies, etc are completely and utterly worthless now, shut down services, crashed markets and exchanges, etc. the only sad things are the people left holding the bag whose lives were ruined bc they got sucked into the scam and there's no justice or recompense + the sheer amt of environmental damage caused by this whole thing

[thepoisonroom]

hate when i see a post about lesbianism and i search 'trans' and 'gender' on op's blog and there's no results which could mean nothing. but could also mean what i think it means.

[quartergremlin]

we're like the same person... if i had more religious trauma and a computer degree and also a beard.

[doyouknowthisjewishcharacter]

Do you know this Jewish character?

[captain-price-unofficially]

Happy hyper inflation initiation day yall

[mattpearson]

ZACH WOODS as EDGAR MINNOWS in THE AFTERPARTY (S02E01)

That was awkward, and then your partner had to laugh to cover over the silence.

[mihai-florescu]

you are how i learned of the new events theme and i am. fascinated. what are they going to do with valkyrie and aliens.........

Im still laughing. Im a lover of aliens, as you know, and of valkyrie, so this feels weirdly targeted but never in a million years did i expect id read such a story premise. It's fascinating to observe what the hell is going on in enstars anymore but i feel like if you time traveled and showed anything from 2025 to a 2017 fan theyd have an aneurysm. Next event might as well be time travel related actually, why not