#How many years Nitish Kumar CM of Bihar

[votermood]

Explore the life of Nitish Kumar, from his early education and family background to his rise in Indian politics. Discover how his personal experiences have shaped his political journey.

[thewrosper]

States want longer lockdown, want clarity on movement of workers

West Bengal accused the Centre of sending mixed signals with the relaxation of some curbs, while Bihar, Jharkhand and Odisha, facing the prospect of hundreds of migrant labourers returning, asked it to specify guidelines in this regard. Most states on Monday indicated at the videoconference with Prime Minister Narendra Modi that they wanted the lockdown to continue in some form post-May 3, while adding that they would follow the Centre’s lead on the matter. West Bengal accused the Centre of sending mixed signals with the relaxation of some curbs, while Bihar, Jharkhand and Odisha, facing the prospect of hundreds of migrant labourers returning, asked it to specify guidelines in this regard. The PM, one Chief Minister said, did not respond to demands for an economic package. “The mood was in favour of continuing the lockdown with concessions,” Puducherry CM V Narayanasamy said, while telling The Indian Express that Modi praised Rajasthan CM Ashok Gehlot for his handling of the coronavirus issue. Again, Andhra Pradesh was among the few states to seek relaxation. Chief Minister Y S Jagan Mohan Reddy said that with 80% of the state a virus-free “green zone”, this may be considered. However, Jagan did not say if the state would lift restrictions after May 3. In a televised address later in the day, the CM said that with a vaccine not likely for a year, developing herd immunity was the only option.

 Prime Minister Narendra Modi during the interaction with Chief Ministers. (Twitter/PIB) Maharashtra, the state with the most coronavirus numbers, indicated that it could continue the lockdown. Bihar CM Nitish Kumar sought directions on the issue of its students stuck in Kota and other places, as well as on migrant labourers, while leaving a decision on extension of the lockdown to the Centre. Facing flak for not bringing back students from Kota, he said unless there was a direction from the Centre, it amounted to violation of the curbs. On whether the lockdown should go on after May 3, Nitish said, “Experts should be consulted. Bihar will abide by whatever decision the Centre takes.” It also expressed concern over people returning to the state without screening. Odisha CM Naveen Patnaik sought framing of a national SOP for movement of people stranded across the country. The state estimates that over five lakh of its workers are stranded in different parts of the country. Narayanasamy, who raised the issue of students stuck abroad, said the PM made a “passing remark” saying the migrant labour issue has to be considered, but did not offer any solution.

 Bihar, Jharkhand and Odisha, facing the prospect of hundreds of migrant labourers returning, asked it to specify guidelines in this regard. (Express File Photo) “The Chief Ministers were unanimous in telling the PM that the way in which the coronavirus cases are increasing, there should be a cautious approach and the PM has to take a call on the basis of observations by CMs. Most of the BJP-ruled CMs said the lockdown should continue and economic activity should be slowly started,” he said. Narayanasamy said he was among the CMs who sought an economic package, as well as the states’ share of GST revenues. “The PM did not respond to that directly. He praised state governments for doing a Herculean task… He praised the Rajasthan CM for his handling of the coronavirus issue,” the CM said. According to him, the PM said, “Every state has some party in power, which realises that it has a chance to take the country forward. Hamein reform bhi karna hai. Agar reform karne ki disha mein rajya initiative leta hai, aap dekhiye yeh sankat ko hum bohot bade avsar main palat sakte hain. Main Ashok Gehlotji ko badhai dunga. Unhone kai initiative liye. Unhone labour ke liye samay seema ki bi badotri ki hai. Theek hai alochana thodi hue hogi, lekin Rajasthan ne disha dikhayi hai (We have to carry out reforms. If a state takes an initiative for reform, we can turn this crisis into a big opportunity. I want to congratulate Ashok Gehlot. He has taken many initiatives. He has increased the time limit for labourers as well. There must have some criticism, but Rajasthan has shown the way).” The Prime Minister was apparently referring to the Rajasthan government’s decision to increase working time in factories from 8 hours to 12 hours. Naryanasamy also said there should no general policy regarding opening of shops with states given the freedom to decide on this. Accusing the Centre of making contradictory statements, West Bengal CM Mamata Banerjee wanted greater clarity on the Home Ministry order regarding this. “We are in favour of the lockdown. But the Centre on one hand emphasises on this, and on other hand, issues orders to open shops. If you open shops, how will you enforce the lockdown?” Banerjee said. She added that the state would plan up to May 21. “From the Prime Minister’s speech, it was clear that this will continue for long.” Fighting a surge in numbers and a high fatality rate, Gujarat CM Vijay Rupani called for a “phased” lifting of the lockdown, “citing the interests of small and medium entrepreneurs and labourers”. He said at the video-conference that most of the deaths in the state were due to co-morbidities. Having directed opening of single-unit shops except in containment zones on Saturday, Gujarat has revoked the order for Ahmedabad, Vadodara, Rajkot and Surat. Rupani said he had received representations from shopkeepers saying they preferred staying closed till May 3, while adding that the state would go by what the Centre decides. Uttar Pradesh CM Yogi Adityanath did not give any indication of the state’s plan, even as he ordered officials on Monday to create facilities to quarantine about 10-15 lakh people. Significantly, it also arranged to bring home about 10,000 students from different districts of the state stuck in Prayagraj. Jharkhand CM Hemant Soren, however, said the state was in no position to bring back its students or labourers. “We Jharkhandis are being punished for following the Central government orders… We have been saying that we want to bring (stranded students, labourers) back. But the MHA issued orders that ban inter-state travel till May 3… Other states are flouting the orders and we have been left helpless,” Soren said at a press conference. He added that the state won’t open shops as yet, but would follow the Cente’s decision on lifting the lockdown. Haryana CM Manohar Lal Khattar urged the government to remove the uncertainty around dates of competitive examinations. Punjab sought the Centre’s permission for reopening of small shops, businesses and industries in all areas except containment zones. CM Amarinder Singh also wrote a letter to Home Minister Amit Shah, as he was not among the nine CMs to speak at the video-conference, where he mentioned the state’s financial health. Kerala CM Pinarayi Vijayan said the state had told the Centre that the lockdown can continue partially till May 15, advising “a cautious approach” on lifting restrictions. “Considering the peculiar situation in Kerala, partial lockdown can be continued until May 15. The course after May 15 can be decided reviewing the then situation,” the CM said. Tamil Nadu CM K Palaniswami sought more RT-PCR kits for the state to take testing up from 10,000 a day from 7,500. Its stand on extension of the lockdown curbs, however, was unclear. Meghalaya CM Conrad Sangma said the lockdown in the state will continue post May 3 with relaxation in non-COVID-19 districts. Meghalaya has 11 active positive cases. Sangma also suggested an “Economic Task Force” including all states to suggest solutions to initiate economic activities. “There is an economic state-to-state dependence. The establishment of an economic task force will help states,” he said. Madhya Pradesh said it would wait for the Centre’s guidelines to decide its post-May 3 plan, while Telangana CM K Chandrashekar Rao said the lockdown should be extended if necessary as it was the only weapon against the virus. (with inputs from Kolkata, Ranchi, Hyderabad, Lucknow, Ahmedabad, Chandigarh, Thiruvananthapuram, Guwahati, Bhopal, Mumbai) Read the full article

[todaybharatnews]

via Today Bharat BJP’s tallest leader in Bihar, Sushil Modi’s voice carries weight as the state gears up for Assembly polls. A supporter of Nitish Kumar — they go back to the JP movement— Modi was instrumental in bringing the JD(U) chief back into the NDA. Sushil Kumar Modi, Deputy Chief Minister, Bihar. The BJP leader believes Covid-19 fear is abating and won’t impact voting, admits the “vacuum” left after Arun Jaitley’s demise, and denies charges that Bihar mishandled the migrant situation post-lockdown. The session was moderated by National Opinion Editor Vandita Mishra and Assistant Editor Santosh Singh SANTOSH SINGH: What are the challenges of participating in an election in the middle of a pandemic The Election Commission has issued guidelines which means elections will be held in Bihar. Nobody knows how long this pandemic will continue. How long can you delay the elections? I have read that in 34 countries elections have been held during the pandemic, and the US is also going to have elections in November. The BJP and JD(U) have requested the EC that the polls in Bihar should be a one-day affair. Earlier, elections in the state were held in five-six phases… This will be the first election in the country during the pandemic, so it will be challenging. But there is no alternative. As far as the political situation in the state is concerned, there is a triangle in Bihar which includes the BJP, JD(U) and RJD. Now if two arms of a triangle come together, they defeat the third arm. When the BJP and the JD(U) came together, they defeated the RJD, and when the JD(U) and the RJD combined, they defeated the BJP. This time, the BJP and the JD(U) are together. Secondly, there is a big difference in the vote share between the UPA and the NDA in the state. In the 2010 Assembly polls, in which the BJP and JD(U) were together, and the RJD and the LJP were together, there was a vote share difference of 14 per cent. We got 39.07% and the UPA got 25.58%. In the 2009 Lok Sabha elections, when Narendra Modi was not there, there was no NDA government at the Centre, the vote share difference stood at 13%. In the 2019 Lok Sabha elections, when the BJP, JD(U) and the LJP came together, there was a vote share difference of 23 per cent. Now, Nitish Kumar has left the RJD and joined hands with the BJP. So who has been weakened? Nitish Kumar was a very strong component of the UPA, winning 71 seats. Now he is with the NDA, and the NDA has become much, much stronger in Bihar. We are going into these elections with the achievements of the Central government as well as the state government; Narendra Modi as the Prime Minister and Nitish Kumar as the CM candidate… So we have two faces, Narendra Modi and Nitish Kumar. We are fighting the elections under the leadership of Nitish Kumar and the achievements of the Central and state government. There is no fight over credit now. The NDA’s social base in Bihar is very big, much, much bigger than the M-Y (Muslim-Yadav) combination of Lalu Prasad. SANTOSH SINGH: Is there a concern that there could be less voting in urban areas, where people are more aware about the pandemic? Only 11% of Bihar’s population is urban. Elections are still two months away and the panic around the pandemic is reducing. All arrangements are in place. In rural areas there was not much panic earlier either. As we approach the elections, I expect people’s confidence to grow. There might be a minor impact in urban areas… But I personally feel that by the time elections are held in the last week of October or first week of November, the caseload will have reduced and there will be better arrangements too. VANDITA MISHRA: Your relationship with Arun Jaitley went back to the JP movement. It’s been a year since he passed away. Has the vacuum that he left behind been filled? The vacuum that Arun Jaitley has left behind can never be filled. But what is also true is that there is never a vacuum in politics. Even when the NDA alliance broke in Bihar, Arun Jaitley had very good relations with Nitish Kumar. Arun Jaitley gave a direction to political issues, set the narrative, shaped the stand of the party… We miss that. Earlier, whenever we faced a crisis, Arun Jaitley would write an article, a blog, or hold a press conference, he would give the party worker a direction. We miss that clarity. The Prime Minister also said that he misses him. Mr Jaitley had good relations with the media, politicians, corporates. He was a good lawyer, spoke well, wrote well, for one person to have all these qualities is rare. I don’t see such a personality in the BJP, the NDA or in the entire field of politics now. Yet, a vacuum doesn’t always stay that way, someone will soon emerge. But there is a void. VANDITA MISHRA: The issue of migrant workers found a new visibility in the pandemic. How does Bihar plan to address issues of migrant workers in terms of policy and politics? The work done for the migrants who returned to Bihar, both by the Central and the state governments, has ensured that they are much happier than what is being projected in the media. More than 21 lakh people have returned to Bihar through the free trains that were run. Barring a few incidents, they all returned comfortably. Once they were home, they forgot all their frustrations, and they only praised Narendra Modi. Unlike what was shown in the media, a very small percentage of people returned on foot — 99% people returned on trains. Also, Bihar had the best quarantine centres for migrant labourers. We spent close to Rs 5,000 per labourer. We drew on our experience of running flood relief camps. But yes, there is a big population of migrant labourers. We have made efforts to create jobs for them. Migration has become a culture in Bihar like people from Punjab go to the UK and Canada, people from Kerala and Telangana go out. If people want to go away from home to earn more money, you cannot stop them… If there were jobs in Bihar why would people go out? One cannot create jobs overnight. Also, the density of population in Bihar is very high, the land holdings are fragmented… Before the division of Bihar, the investment was usually in the southern parts of the state, which is now Jharkhand. The northern part was considered good for agriculture. So that is why big industries cannot come here, but we are trying to get smaller ones so that people get jobs here too. But it is a challenge and it is not easy to overcome it. DIPANKAR GHOSE: When the first phase of the lockdown was announced in March, Nitish Kumar said people should not come back to Bihar because they would bring the disease with them. Uttar Pradesh arranged for buses. Do you think you could have handled the situation better in the early days of the pandemic? Was it possible to bring back the migrants in buses? They were not in eastern UP. They were in Rajasthan, Mumbai, Kerala, Gujarat. How many people can be accommodated in a bus? About 20-25. As soon as the trains were announced, people returned. Secondly, there was a Central government guideline then that barred inter-state movement. Should we have defied it? To bring back students from Kota in buses it would take 48 hours. Nobody said that the students would bring Covid-19 with them. All Nitish Kumar said was that there is an MHA (Ministry of Home Affairs) guideline and we are following it. Later, people returned on trains. Yes, in the initial days, the quarantine centres in the villages were not functioning well. Then we set up centres at Block headquarters and they were run very well. They were the best in the country. About Rs 28,000 crore was spent by the Central and state government together on food grains and cash on people of Bihar. There isn’t one poor family in Bihar in whose account Rs 3,000 to Rs 4,000 was not transferred, apart from the food grains. NIRUPAMA SUBRAMANIAN: Do you think the filing of FIR in the Sushant Singh Rajput case in Bihar and the subsequent decision for a CBI inquiry in the case has politicised the matter? Will it be an issue in the Bihar elections? And, is the appointment of Devendra Fadnavis as the BJP’s election in charge of Bihar an attempt to drag the BJP’s politics in Maharashtra into the Bihar elections? Firstly, the Supreme Court took a stand and now the entire case has been transferred to the CBI. The SC has not said that it was incorrect to file the FIR in Bihar. So our stand has been vindicated by the court. There is no question of politicising Sushant Singh’s death. Before his death I did not know he was from Bihar. Then I found out that one of his cousins is also part of the Bihar BJP. So over two months after his death, people’s sentiments grew, both in Bihar and the country. There was also a sense that the Maharashtra government wants to brush things under the carpet… I don’t think it will be an issue in the elections. Devendra Fadnavis is a young, dynamic leader and so he has been given responsibility for Bihar. VANDITA MISHRA: You have been tweeting a lot. Is this in preparation for a digital election, or do you think social media is the place for politics now? I feel digital platforms have a very limited role in election campaigns. Door-to-door campaigns, meetings are the best methods. The digital space is one of the platforms. Only a small percentage of people know about Twitter in Bihar. Yes, the younger generation uses Facebook a lot. In the 2014 election campaign too, Narendra Modi had done virtual rallies. The Zoom calls, the video and audio conferences have played a crucial role in recent times to help us communicate with our workers. The digital platform will play a big role in these elections in terms of communication…. But you still have to meet and talk to people. I was surprised by the RJD’s demand that virtual rallies should not be allowed in these elections. In fact, in the coming days, a system for online voting should be developed so that people do not have to go to booths… A rally with helicopter costs Rs 50 lakh. In a virtual rally, you can address many more people in only Rs 1 lakh. They (the RJD) are not prepared to fight the polls, they know they will lose. HARIKISHAN SHARMA: The BJP’s vote share has decreased in Bihar if we look at the past elections, both Lok Sabha and Vidhan Sabha. Has the party’s appeal reduced in Bihar? The BJP-JD(U) alliance has fought five Lok Sabha, and total nine elections together. We transfer votes to each other. Every time we fight elections together, we win most of the times. In fact, we are stronger than before… We have a committee for every booth. Our organisation network is very strong. But yes, it is the time for alliances. In 2015, we fought alone and couldn’t win. The JD(U) fought alone in 2014 but couldn’t win… Also, I knew that Nitish Kumar could not work with Lalu for long. His way of working, his mindset, the RJD does not fit in to it. The BJP-JD(U) is a natural alliance. The people of Bihar also feel this. SANTOSH SINGH: In the Lok Sabha elections, the BJP and the JD(U) fought on equal number of seats. Will it be the same in these elections too or will the JD(U) be the senior partner? I will not comment on this. The seat-sharing decisions are taken at the central level. Talks are underway. All I will say is that the BJP, JD(U) and LJP will stay together, fight the elections together, and will form the next government in Bihar together. LIZ MATHEW: There has been some criticism of Nitish Kumar’s leadership and his style of functioning within the BJP. You have been supporting Nitish Kumar, and as a result you have also faced some criticism in the party. Do you think the BJP has no other option but to accept Nitish Kumar’s leadership? See, Nitish Kumar is not a selected Chief Minister, he is an elected Chief Minister. He is not just a leader of the JD(U). People vote (for our alliance) because Nitish Kumar is the chief ministerial candidate. There is no confusion in the BJP about this. In 2019, when the alliance with the JD(U) was formalised, we knew Nitish Kumar would be the chief ministerial candidate. And, where is the question of changing the CM candidate after winning the 2020 (Assembly) elections? Earlier too, we have fought elections together with Nitish Kumar as candidate. The party (the BJP) is unanimous on this. The parliamentary board decides on alliances, not Sushil Modi. After the alliance broke in 2012, for three years, as leader of opposition in the Assembly, I took on the state government. So I will work with honesty on whichever side I am on. If the BJP decides to break the alliance, I will not take a minute to break away (from my role). But we (Nitish and I) have worked together in the JP movement, in student union elections, it is a long association. Explained| How the LJP-JDU problem in Bihar may impact political alignments in future Alliances are not decided by Sushil Modi. They are decided by Narendra Modi, Amit Shah and J P Nadda. They have taken a decision and it is pragmatic politics — we will win the elections and form government only by allying with Nitish Kumar. There is no confusion about it. AANCHAL MAGAZINE: State budgets have been severely strained in the pandemic. How have you been managing the situation? The situation of most states is quite poor. So far we have been giving salaries, wages and pensions. There have been no cuts. At least half-a-dozen states have cut salaries. We have assured our employees that their salaries will not stop. Secondly, 76% of Bihar’s revenue comes from the Centre. Last year, when there was no pandemic or slowdown, we received Rs 25,000 crore less under the state’s share in Central taxes than what was projected… We had said earlier too that the fiscal deficit limit be increased from 3-4 per cent to 5 per cent without any condition so that all states can raise loans…. States should be allowed to borrow till 5 per cent of the deficit. Regarding GST compensation, there is a big issue. The states can’t borrow, only the Centre can. We don’t have the capacity to borrow… Though by law the Central government is not bound to pay the compensation cess to the states, it is their moral responsibility to compensate the states. If the Centre does not help states now, they will face big difficulties. SMITA NAIR: Do you think the Centre should have taken into confidence the chief ministers of all states before the lockdown was implemented? Often the media has said that migrant labourers should have been sent to their states before announcing the lockdown. When PM Modi announced the lockdown on March 24, it took one month to transfer all migrants… It would have been impractical to consult all CMs before announcing the lockdown… It was a timely decision. LALMANI VERMA: A new generation of politicians such as the LJP’s Chirag Paswan and the RJD’s Tejashwi Yadav are in the poll fray in Bihar now. Has it affected your party’s appeal? In comparison to Narendra Modi, Rahul Gandhi is younger. But whom did people vote for? Nobody votes for anyone because they are young. It is about who can deliver, the candidate and the party’s credibility. AMITABH SINHA: Compared to states with the same number of Covid-19 cases, the death rate in Bihar is low. What could be the reason for that? I am not an expert, but I think people of Bihar have strong immune systems and are hardworking… I spoke to a hundred infected people. About 80-85% of them had mild to high fever, sore throat, and experienced a loss of smell and taste. In five to seven days, most of them got well. Hardly 10 to 15 people required oxygen support and two to three needed ventilator support. This is the general phenomenon. LEENA MISRA: Alpesh Thakor, who was earlier in the Congress, led the attack on migrant workers following an incident of rape in Gujarat. At the time, you said you will not let him step in to Bihar. Now, he is with the BJP. Did you protest his induction? In politics, people keep changing with time… Alpesh Thakor is insignificant as far as Bihar is concerned. SHUBHAJIT ROY: How do you plan to conduct the NEET exams at a time when Bihar is also battling floods? Postponing the exam is not a solution. Sixteen districts of the state have been affected by floods. None of the district headquarters, where the exam centres are located, has been affected. I have also read that more than 90 per cent of the students have taken their admit cards.

[jjamwal]

https://ift.tt/2IuULDI Why are the TV news anchors squirming like never before as BS Yeddyurappa is sworn in as Karnataka CM? Do you think these people do not know the long history of Congress governors acting in an arbitrary manner? Do you think they do not know how Congress dictators/Prime Ministers would dismiss Opposition state governments en masse … sometimes up to nine state governments at a time? Of course, it is about partisanship. Some of it is about personal embarrassment. After all, many of India’s most well-known anchors spent much time covering Karnataka, following Siddaramaiah around, declaring him a “folk hero.” Then, the folk hero lost by 36,000 votes. Now, these anchors want to discuss everything except their shocking incompetence in analyzing election outcomes. They also want to keep people from discussing how Rahul Gandhi failed again. But there is one more factor. And I believe its the biggest one. It’s their anger and surprise at a new Modi-fied BJP that refuses to play dead. Let me explain. The year was 1999. Atal Behari Vajpayee’s government collapsed because it was one vote short. One vote! That was the old BJP, always getting blindsided, fooled or taken for a ride. The BJP struck a deal with BSP in the 90s to form the government in Uttar Pradesh based on a rotational CM post. Of course, Mayawati would go first. And of course, when it was the BJP’s turn to have the CM post, the BSP refused to support. Same in Karnataka. In 2006, the BJP struck a deal with JDS to rule the state based on a rotational CM. Of course, Kumaraswamy would go first. And of course, when it was BJP’s turn to have the CM post, the JDS refused to support. How could it possibly be otherwise? In the Bihar elections of 2000, the Samata Party (precursor of JDU) won just 34 seats. The BJP won nearly twice as many, i.e., 67 seats. Guess who the BJP offered the CM post? Nitish Kumar! And while Nitish’s government didn’t last, he had become the face of NDA in Bihar, a mistake for which BJP continues to pay even to this day. The BJP is, by any standard, an electoral behemoth. In the last seven elections, the party has always won at least 100 Lok Sabha seats. To see how big this is, just try to count how many parties in India have ever touched 50 Lok Sabha seats even once! But the BJP always punched below its weight and often laughably so. I wouldn’t say the durbaris “liked” the old BJP … but they were at least capable of coming to terms with it. As long as the BJP, even after emerging victorious, was willing to fall to the ground and beg forgiveness for winning … and promise the nobles in the ecosystem that their high status would not be affected. As long as the BJP with 182 Lok Sabha seats in 1999 was willing to grovel before allies, willing to give them all the key Cabinet positions. Even the ministries that were technically with the BJP were offered to people who could be best described as newcomers and/or outsiders. Stool pigeons of the Congress saw it as an acknowledgement of intellectual inferiority on part of the BJP. You will see folks like Ram Guha often write fondly and with much satisfaction about this. In other words, the ecosystem could make some sort of peace with the BJP, as long as they were willing to prostrate before the elite and play dead. This is the sort of mentality with which an arrogant Amartya Sen declared after 2014 results that he would “allow” Modi to rule. At that point, they were still very much consumed by the belief that Modi would ask them for their “permission,” whatever that means. The thing is that their “permission” meant absolutely nothing to Modi. Zero. Zilch. Nada. In fact, Modi would positively revel in showing how little he cared for that class. And this is what they cannot digest. The BJP has been an electoral behemoth for a long time. But in terms of institutions, the party had almost no influence. Arguably, the BJP’s institutional imprint is smaller than even a tiny party like the CPIM. Twice in the last 20 years, the CPIM fell short of the minimum electoral performance required to maintain the status of a ‘national party.’ Both times, the Election Commission rewrote the definition of a national party, tailored it to suit the CPIM’s requirements and hand delivered them to the CPIM’s headquarters at A K Gopalan Bhavan in Delhi. This is what *real power* looks like. When the institutions proactively surrender before you. The CPIM barely needed to ask. The Election Commission fell at their feet proactively without a murmur. Compare this to the BJP which was running circles around the Election Commission in 2007 begging to keep its recognition merely as a political party. Do I even have to remind people of the time the Supreme Court of India humbly agreed to the Emergency, pointing out that Indira Gandhi’s dictatorial move was almost “maternal”? This status of the BJP as an outcast endured right up to the moment of May 16, 2014. Let me remind you that Narendra Modi, even in the campaign summer of 2014, could not get permission to address so much as a rally in Varanasi city, in the heart of a seat that he was contesting himself. The place where Modi was allowed to address a rally was so far from the population that hardly anybody could make it there: it was his only thinly attended rally in Uttar Pradesh that year. A day before voting, the EC raided Modi’s offices in Varanasi. A smug NDTV announced to its viewers that “campaign material was seized” from the election office.

[blograzorwit]

Jest A Minute (17/2/2017) from Subroto Mukherjee

Did you watch the Grammys on TV? What was Lady Gaga wearing? Was it a backless top? Heck, looked like she had it on back to front! Have to say those female American artistes are fashion conscious -- but totally unconscious of their boobs peeping out! They are such talented entertainers. Their talent brings out the best in them -- and their bizarre outfits brings out the bust. *** Jamming In Space------------------------------- Our pride, ISRO, just rocketed as many 104 satellites into orbit at one go, setting a world record! I bet this has also caused a record-breaking traffic jam in orbit! Look through a telescope and you might see all the world's satellites now jostling bumper to bumper in orbit! *** From Throne To Thrown------------------------------------------ We see it in films, don't we? The way a judge uses his gavel, his mallet, his hammer to rap out orders in court. Well, of late, our Supreme Court judges have certainly been using their hammers to nail wrongdoers in high places, thereby hammering home the point that even our VIPs cannot escape the long arm of the law. Take, for example, Sasikala and company. She and her cronies, she and her partners in crime have been nicely nailed and jailed. Phew, I tell you, she came this close -- this close -- to getting to the throne as chief minister -- only to be thrown into prison as 'thief minister'! *** From No Patience To No Patients------------------------------------------------------- And our SC judges have also been busy rapping, and ripping off the licences of, over 600 doctors involved in MP's disgraceful Vyapam Scam. All these docs, when they were students, got into medical colleges by flagrantly cheating in the medical entrance exam. They had no patience to study long and hard and prepare for those tests. Well, now they have no licence to practice and no patients either. *** Kick Ass Or Kiss Ass?---------------------------------------- Nixon will go down is history for being booted from office. Clinton will go down in history for turning the White House into Scandal House. Bush Jr will go down in history as the worst President ever. Obama will go down in history for getting the Nobel Peace Prize but dropping the most bombs. And Trump will go down in history as a global joke. The laughing-stock of the world. A democratically-elected dictator. A pathetic fascist. He raves and rants against other countries and their leaders, threatening to kick ass. Only to perform a backward flip and talk sweet to them on the phone. In fact, after all the talk of kicking ass, Trump even invites those leaders over to 'kiss their ass'.   So I ask, kick ass or kiss ass? Make up your mind, you pompous jackass! *** Potty Talk----------------------- The moment Mumbai's civic polls were announced, there were opportunists who lost no time. Some left this party and joined that. Some others left that party and joined this. My question is, why? Aren't they essentially all the same? What's the difference in this, that or any potty -- er -- party? *** You know what happens when we have elections? Newton's 4th Law comes into effect. A mouth in motion tends to stay in motion. Until this motor-mouth candidate is interrupted by a rotten egg or tomato. *** I have been listening to the candidates on TV. And you know how best to enjoy the grandiose political rallies and speeches? Listen to them with the SOUND OFF. *** But no, not always. We have great leaders and I love to listen to them on TV. Because I LOVE FICTION. *** Failed Delivery----------------------------- You know the BIG BLUNDER we made in our last general elections? We elected a former tea-stall entrepreneur to serve us. He failed to deliver. In the next general election in 2019, we should elect a pizza-delivery guy to deliver the goods. Who knows, as the PM, he might actually be able to deliver in half an hour! *** Garibi Hatao? Done!---------------------------------- In the past, the great party that led this nation sure gave us a great slogan -- GARIBI HATAO! Remove poverty! And boy, did they succeed! They removed their own poverty and the poverty of all their family members and friends. *** Battle of the Bulge-------------------------------- The heaviest woman in the world has been airlifted from Cairo to Mumbai for her weight-reduction surgery. This operation involved a cost over 80 lakhs, heavy-duty trucks, cranes and even a modified jumbo jet. But it all went off with military precision. For the team of surgeons and medical experts, now begins the real battle -- the real BATTLE of the BULGE! *** By the way, here's my one-line review of the sequel to Jolly LLB. Where there are plenty of laws, there will also be plenty of loopholes. And where there are loopholes, there are sure to be assholes who masquerade themselves as custodians of the law. End of review. Thank you. *** Being Judgmental-------------------------------- Now CCTV cameras are to be introduced in our courts. So, like the honorable judges, we the humble public can also sit in judgement on a trial. In other words, so we can also judge who is the better LIAR -- who is more imaginative and creative -- and who is better at creating fiction -- the prosecution team or the defense team? Ooh, isn't that cool? *** And here's my take on Kung Fu Yoga. Who's the real hero of this film -- Jackie Chan or Sonu Sood? Neither. The real heroes are those in the audience who have to bravely endure this mess. *** Knowing The Price But Not The Real Value-------------------------------------------------------------------- Burglars broke into Kailash Satyarthi's Delhi residence and stole his valuables. But if you ask me, the thieves left behind the most PRICELESS ASSET of our Nobel laureate -- they left behind his exemplary IDEALISM to rescue our poor children from the daily drudgery of hard manual labor! Those robbers might know the price of things but not the real value of things. *** A Kiss Before Dying!---------------------------------- Seen that Hollywood movie A Kiss Before Dying? Or at least have you seen its Bollywood carbon copy version, Baazigar starring Kajol, Shilpa Shetty and SRK? Recently an imbecile youth in Thane tried to enact his own version of a kiss before dying. Planning to upload the pictures on Facebook for instant global fame, this moron kissed a cobra! Yeah, just imagine that! Well, I don't know how much fame he got for his stunt but he certainly got A KISS BEFORE DYING! *** Kiss-mas?------------------- On Valentine's Day, as usual, college couples were sneaking hugs and stealing kisses in public. And it looked like, after Christmas in December, they were celebrating Kiss-mas in February. Valentine's Day is like a learning lesson for youngsters. And this is what they learn. There are things that girls can do. There are things that boys can do. But the best things are those that boys and girls can DO TOGETHER! *** No Happy Hours, Bihar Happy------------------------------------------------- Bihar CM Nitish Kumar claims that one year of prohibition has turned Bihar into a happy state.   No happy hours have made his people happy. Except of course two kinds of people. Liquor barons and bar owners. In fact, underworld kingpins who used to run liquor joints have been left fuming and furious. Or you could say, these BAR KINGS are now (woof, woof, bar, bark) BAR-KING mad! ***   Recently a Bollywood star threw a party at home, played the music so loud late into the evening, the disturbed neighbors had to call the cops. Hey, that's nothing. You should hear the noises my neighbors make. Take the heavy thumps and loud bumps I hear from the flat above! You'd swear their pet hippos were playing leap-frog over the furniture. Or their pet elephants were kicking around the cooking-gas cylinder, playing football with it!   *** Aamir Khan wants to play the first Indian in space, Rakesh Sharma, in a film. Some time back, Aamir's wife expressed a sort of desire to leave the country. Now Aamir has gone one better. He has expressed a desire to play someone who not only leaves this country but also leaves this very planet and goes into space. *** Vote for Vultures----------------------------- In these pre-poll days, party volunteers are turning up on our door steps canvassing for votes. No matter which party they represent, I tell them I have only praise of their party and candidate. They go away happy. But mark my words -- ONLY PRAISE. I have only praise for them but not my vote for them. All inept, incompetent and useless people! All vultures of the same feather out to feather their own nest! *** Sizzling---------------- Last couple of days have been real sizzlers here in Mumbai. Hottest February days on record! And today it's so burning, you could fry an egg on your window sill. No kidding. I put the frying pan with the egg on the window sill and the egg began to pop and sizzle in seconds!   *** I stepped outdoors for just a little while and now my forehead is so feverishly red-hot, I could places slices of bread on my forehead and toast them. ***