#Hope the love is still strong
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Hiya~ I'm a new guy here and I was wondering if I can get a shout out from you? :D I usually draw Kikuro(mostly) and Knb's doujinshi and doodle. Sorry for the trouble and thank you! Have a nice day~
!! CHECK IT OUT !!
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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consumed with the urge to draw with ed holding cat. that's all
edit: metal arm wrong side bc canvas flip
#the legs look so fucked to me so cropped version first#edward elric#cat#I cannot explain#is it not self explanatory#probably bad to post this at 1 am my time but my impatience has always been strong and today is no different#fma#fma03#fullmetal alchemist#fmab#I really struggled with this and I still don't completely love it but I wanted to post something#it's been about a year since I first got BACK into fma#still into it lolol#fan art#anyway life updates... nothing really#I have been listening to hozier's new album for weeks and I saw him in concert which was awesome!#today I saw the PJO trailer and it brought me happiness#sketch#proportions are so fucked like I love edward's build but it really is hard for me to nail down#hope someone enjoys!
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This one goes out to all the Finchpaw fans out there
#clangen#clan generator#warriors oc#warrior cats#sporeclan#i dont know why she had so many prompts this moon. but good for her#SHES FINALLY OUT OF THE HEALERS DEN!!!! WOOOOOOOO LETS GOOOOOO#and minklake with the ten thousand kittens trying to get their attention. crying my eyes out. i love them#by the way before anyone asks. the connection to starclan is still fully severed for the average cat#crowstar can just get the rare occasional contact because she specifically has the strong connection to starclan trait#sc moons#sc:piperdapple#sc:finchpaw#sc:fennelacorn#sc:dawnpelt#sc:minklake#sc:greenkit#sc:strawkit#sc:lizardkit#sc:rosemarykit#sc:crowstar#sc:puddle#sc:cliffthicket#i hope the image quality is okay because i had to export it from my tablet#if its bad i might replace it later when i get to my pc again
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waiting....
mom said it's my turn to make fanart of @somerandomdudelmao 's ol' wizard
i can't express how many times I listened to this song on loop while drawing
andddd a bonus close-up & a version with wraps that I totally didn't forget to add before now haha,,
#sidebar: i really love the fam's characterization in their AU#but the intense and incredible urge to try out a more painter-ly vibe with future mikey was too strong for me to battle#so uh here ya go!#hope ya like it#and thanks for sharing your AU with the fandom :)#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#cass apocalyptic series#cass apocalyptic au#rottmnt fanart#my art#explodingstar art#rise mikey#future michelangelo#rottmnt movie#WOW it's been a minute since i last painted something#double side bar: i considered “solemn awakening” by dirt poor robins for mikey but ultimately it fit cass's donnie better so#to those who know the drill here's your gold star and also the comic is still coming I didn't forget :)
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I'm begging you, BioWare... Learn from the mistakes of Baldur's Gates past...
#please accept this low effort meme while i work on Emmrich-inspired creative pursuits#hoping and praying and sobbing and crying#BioWare i'm on my hands and knees begging you to GIVE THE SWEET NECROMANCER A SOFT TUMMY#emmrich volkarin#dragon age emmrich#okay now im gonna start complaining in the tags so this is your warning#i just don't think im strong enough to withstand ANOTHER RPG with companions that Should Not Fucking Have Abs#like sure i could MAYBE suspend my disbelief that the vain wizard would use some illusion magic to give himself abs (still cringe)#or MAYBE he got really into crunches while he was depressed for a year (HIGHLY doubtful)#BUT THE EMACIATED VAMPIRE!?#like come on bestie#did cazador have some really rigorous workout routines that were conveniently never brought up???#im going insane sorry#i just have a lot of opinions on diverse body types in video games#and dont want them to do my man dirty like that#[insert joke about how getting down and dirty with him is my job]#okay sorry i think i got it all out of my system#if anyone actually read this far please know i love you with my entire serpentine heart
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forever thinking about johanna shooting fogg and what it says for both her and anthony as characters
because the whole show, from the very first scene, we've been set up to see anthony and sweeney as parallels of one another; anthony is sweeney back when he was benjamin, he's full of hope, he's in love (with a woman who looks almost identical to lucy), and then he gets that love brutally ripped away by judge turpin
in 'no place like london' sweeney says: "you are young, life has been kind to you-- you will learn" and by the point in the show where anthony is going to rescue johanna we're almost inclined to agree with him
except anthony cannot shoot the gun, he's not like sweeney in that he cannot kill another person even if it was to save someone he loved. anthony is never going to become sweeney todd.
and then we realize that we've been looking at the wrong person the whole show, and it's so obvious it's laughable: johanna shoots the gun.
johanna who has been raised to be silent and obedient and perfect, johanna who, without knowing the half of it, has had everything taken away from her by judge turpin, her mother, her father, and her freedom. johanna who we've been led to believe is the lucy to anthony's sweeney.
she is fully justified in shooting fogg, no one could fault her for it, but she doesn't even hesitate.
in that moment she is her father's daughter.
that isn't to say that I think johanna is going to go on a killing spree after the musical, obviously, but it's such a fascinating scene in terms of their development: because despite it all anthony is still the same, and because of it all johanna is not
anthony is the last bit of hope left in the story, and johanna is the last bit of sweeney
#welcome back to probably-incoherent-and-meaning-Nothing-of-substance Sondheim analysis time#god I fucking love johanna#I saw the show last night and it's ROTATING in my BRAIN#johanna barker#sweeney todd#Anthony hope#something about Anthony still being gentle and Johanna being forced to learn how to be strong just ughghghghgh#Anthony will be able to care for her and help her recover in a way sweeney would not have been able to do for Lucy at the end of the show#and Johanna will never allow herself to be pushed around as she had before#and it's heartbreaking#but also..... not?#like its lessons they never should have had to learn but now that they have they can move forward#I could talk for like a million hours for how toby works into this all too but just ghjfkjdlks#it says it all in Anthony's last name: hope
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i'm still alive btw i just have terminal oc artist-itis
#i'm not a strong man i go where my brain says and draw what it says#if i go against it too much i will Burn Out Bad#i still love isat! just haven't much drawing juice for it atm#hope u guys r having funnn ^^#not isat
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if there's one [1] thing i will be forever grateful for in the internet era it's the vast variety and availability of pose / anatomy references supplied by photographers and models
i can go online and find PERFECT references for how fat folds crease the skin or how muscles wrap around the body and as someone who habitually draws most of his OCs ~modestly lean~ and wants to hone his skill in other body types, it is literally a godsend to have those refs so readily available
seriously, thank you all models and photographers for providing me the resources i need to expand my art skills i owe u my life
#drawing other body types is important to me#not just for my own Art Skill but for my audience and clients too#i've seen many a post in my many years on the internet of people saddened for not seeing themselves or their OCs represented in artists wor#esp when it comes to fat characters when it comes to body types#and i can imagine it's Super hard when you wanna comm someone but you're worried they'll slim down your OC#and regardless of whether the artist does it intentionally or not - it still sucks!!#i have a couple OCs - one fat and one meant to be kinda strong-bulky and i wanna use them more for example art#i also wanna play more with different skintones and hairstyles so i think i may make some human OCs to work on those with#ppl have called my art godly / called me an art god and while i'm iffy on being called some kind of god in any sense [despite the username]#i can only ever hope to live up to that praise by having my audience feel properly represented when i draw something that relates to them#obligatory mention that the username is solely bc of an OC of mine who i love dearly
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Character Edit | Deputy Sabrina Donovan as a Naiad
Watch the lights like water underneath my skin And my blood boils hotter, I can feel you swim in my veins like somethin's forcin' me to sin
@strafethesesinners @strangefable @socially-awkward-skeleton @shellibisshe
@voidika @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @trench-rot @killyourrdarlingss
@katsigian @imogenkol @wrathfulrook @purplehairsecretlair @g0dspeeed
@direwombat @elligatorrex @mkdecimation @carlosoliveiraa @theelderhazelnut
@aceghosts @raresvtm @cassietrn @derelictheretic @la-grosse-patate
@simonxriley @dumbassdep @finding-comfort-in-rain @neonshrike
@simplegenius042 @cloudofbutterflies92 @lilywatt @roofgeese
#pretend i'm not late with this edit and it's still Halloween; the vision was too strong not to make into a reality :D#you just know Calahan is sitting at the bar *in his Clutch attire*#and joking how “Is it just him or does Gray looks like she just walked straight out of the Bliss or something?”#loved playing with the lighting and her make-up especially *she just looks so soft and lowkey dream-like* <3#*naiad = river nymph <3#oc: sabrina donovan#wip: in hope of tomorrow#myedits#fc5 ocs#far cry 5 oc#fc5 deputy#far cry 5 deputy#character aesthetic#character edit#wip edit#oc stuff#adcedit#alyciadebnamedit#alycia debnam carey
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And there. he. is! Met Gala 2024!
#as we speak!!#the earring omg#I’m so relieved his hair is still normal and it’s all just styling for the play#I wish he’d be interviewed!!#I love hearing his fashion explanations#also loving that he and Emma are so coordinated 😊❤️#did he get his ear pierced for this or what#I hope not because a dangly earring would hurt!! guessing it’s a clip on#ok nvm his stylist posted a pic and it looks like a regular earring LOL how very him to get an ear piercing for the Met#jeremy strong#met gala 2024#Met gala#loro Piana#Richard Mille
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currently yearning in a way only boys can
#yes i’m still thinking abt song of achilles it ripped out my heart#but also idk if this is a universal experience#but sometimes i feel like i mourn the fact that i didn’t get to experience childhood as a boy#like getting to be rough and lanky and awkward and soft and strong and all the things it’s okay for boys to be#like not that it’s ‘bad’ for girls to be that obviously#and i still tried to#but i feel like it came less naturally and alienated me#like i just want to be feminine in the way boys are???? if that makes sense#and i’m sad that i never got to have the experience of growing up as a boy and falling in love and all the things that came with that#and i get this almost like . jealousy when i think of it#it’s like this hot anger but i think it’s really just grief#IDKKKK WOOF SORRY FOR RAMBLING HAHAHAHHAHAA#anyways idk if this is universal but!!!!! i’m gonna go think abt my doomed gay lovers#(aka reread song of achilles)#LOVE YOU ALL HOPE YOURE HAVING A GOOD DAY!!!!!!!#q speaks
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I do want to say that I feel a but relieved that it was not suicide per say(as it looks like till now) , most likely a drug overdose case gone wrong here. With this, atleast I feel Liam was not actively trying to end things for himself in a way.. it is accidental but all more tragic that it could be prevented if people used their brains!
learning that made me feel better too... but then also worse... but then better again... like it's all just fucking terrible. In the end it does make me feel better that he wasn't suffering that acutely in that way in that moment, that was really so horrific to imagine and live with, and of course for the people in his actual life who survive him the guilt would have been unbearable. I do feel better ever since I, also, reached that conclusion from reading about what happened. But also... he didn't want to die, he wanted to stay around and keep doing things and trying. And he's gone. And that's just so tragic and fucking useless. I let spotify Get me earlier with their 'remember Liam' playlist and listening to him say "I want to get better" and "I want to be a better man" in song after song.... it's crushing. I wanted that for him too, for him to have that chance. There are so many ways things could have been better for him, but now all of those possibilities are just... dead. It's just garbage, I hate death and people dying and I'm really honestly just fucking sick of it.
#cw death details#and yeah.... yet another person dead of drug use and stigma#I can't stop thinking about how#I spent so many hours and hours over years talking to people about the things we wanted for Liam#the ways his life could be better#the things we'd like to see happen and we'd want to see him focus on instead of what he was#that we thought would bring him more happiness and allow him to ...be okay#and for what where did all that care and love go what good did it do#so many people so many hours of care and hope sent into the world.... and it doesn't feel like it did any good#so much love wasted I wish we could have made him feel strong#strong enough to be the better man he knew he wanted to be#on a lighter note. did yall know/ remember that liam uses the lyric 'I only got two eyes'😂#like its a liam song so obviously it's in a sad and worrisome context but still lmao
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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
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I love aruani sm but lately I feel like it’s getting less fun bc of all the hate they get… usually it doesn’t get to me but it has lately and idk… I still love my blondes but it’s so hard to hehe without having someone come in and talk about how their ship is better etc whatever.. idk if you ever feel like that /:
Hello anon!
I can understand where you're coming from. I've been in this fandom since 2013, and believe me, I've seen a ton of hate xD Where there are fans there are also antis, this is mostly an unavoidable phenomenon and the best we can do is accept it.
But anon, they key is to not give antis any leeway to come and camp out in your space. If you have something you love, be it a ship, a fandom, a hobby or anything, it's yours to love and enjoy. You don't have to let the antis come in and talk shit about it. You see them from the window, they're outside, but don't open the door.
Instead, invite in the people who feel the same way as you.
Tumblr is the only place I'm on, for fandom and community and pretty much everything else, but believe me, I see so many rancid posts here that I actually go: "what the actual fuck". Some of these posts spill into the 'Aruani' tag for no reason at all other than to incite a ship-war. It's really unnecessary and also annoying, but unfortunately some people feed off the drama.
Obviously, I can't block the tag, but if it's really getting to me, I block the user.
Done. I refresh my dash, see the Aruani community posting memes and art and headcanons and mini-fics and everything is still wonderful and fun and good.
These are the people in my house, the antis stay outside.
#stay strong anon!#keep engaging with all of us who genuinely love AA#also - in general but *especially* for fandom#you're not obliged to let anyone come and ruin what you love and what makes you happy#if they are a friend I understand its more complicated than it would be otherwise but still; they should understand that it annoys you#anyway#I hope i helped :3#askies#aruani#attack on titan#aruannie
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Hi there! As a requestober request could you please draw something cute with Mob? I'm planning on rewatching Mob Psycho 100 and it would be great to see fanart of him in your style! :D
Day 17 - She loves me, she loves me not...
#My art#Requestober#MP100#Shigeo Kageyama#This uh. This was Intended to be cute it was Meant to be cute I swear I was Trying for this to be cute#It still could be???? Turned out way way moodier than I meant it to be lol it was just Such a strong image in my head#Like I haven't had literally Any MP100 images pop up since I last doodled them it has been dead silent#But as soon as they came into my inbox this image placed itself very very firmly and strongly in my mind and that like - never happens lol#So I followed it! For funsies! Please enjoy my unfiltered brain-to-hand lol#Mob really is just a boy - he has simple hopes and desires! For all the amazing things he's capable of he wants for such small things#So to be able to sit and Loves Me Not over his crush with a dandelion and find beauty and magic in that <3#Everyone is appreciating dandelions today yes? We're all caught up on our love of dandelions currently?#Glowing yellow center <3 Not quite a sunflower but he'll work his way up to it :)#It's a bit funny - I've been itching to rewatch a specific episode of MP100 myself despite it not having been all That long since#The Reigen episode specifically the one where he strikes out on his own and it's all ''fine'' - it's an interesting one#I wonder if I've watched enough anime in the meanwhile to appreciate any more subversions haha#I did take a crack at OPM but I ended up leaving partway through S2....#But MP100 kept my attention the whole way through!! Very good series <3 Very good boy ♥
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