#Honestly my fault for hoping online so quick after the story

[interactivevampirerants]

Yall are complaining about the plot when this story has always been about the characters. It's a romance, that's the focus. I couldn't give two flying shit about the plot. Just try to enjoy yourself, is that too much to ask.

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 1

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite, who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310, @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria. Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 1806

Additional note: I'm afraid I'll disappoint some of you. No more newspapers... The articles defined the setting of the story. From now on, it'll be a regular fic.

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

June 2021

Ivar yawns, rubbing his eyes, when he suddenly hears the front door open. The next moment, Ubbe shouts, "Hey baby bro, we're home!"

Slightly confused, Ivar looks at the time on his computer. Stunned, he blinks repeatedly, shakes his head and checks the time again, now looking at his watch. "Guess I lost track of time," he mumbles as he realizes it's really 5:30 pm. He clears his throat. "I'm coming!"

Yawning once more, he wheels to the kitchen. Hvitserk waves at him with one hand as Ubbe greets him with a grin and Sigurd... Well, Sigurd ignores him, as usual.

"Hello boys!" Lagertha smiles as she also enters the kitchen. "Did you go to the beach this afternoon?" It's a rethorical question, since sand can be seen on the tanned skin of his brothers, shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts.

When she looks down at him, her smile becomes softer. "Ivar, you seem tired. Did you work all day long?"

He nods, glad that for once she called him by his first name and not by one of those stupid nicknames that she likes but that make his skin crawl.

"Yep," he shrugs without smiling back, "I made good progress. The new version of your website is almost done. It could probably be online by the end of the week."

His stepmom flashes him a beaming smile. "Great, thanks!"

The conversation then moves on to the subject that everyone in Kattegat has been talking about for the last few days: the midsummer party thrown by their neighbor Harald Hårfager. Every June, it is Kattegat's not-to-be-missed event, to which every resident hopes to be invited.

Lagertha is invited every year, yet rarely attends; his brothers wouldn't miss it, not in a million years; Ivar never went.

He listens with half an ear as his brothers prattle on about the upcoming party, while taking a seat at the large, wooden kitchen table on which Lagertha has just put cakes and drinks.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Do you think Marit will attend this year?"

"Hopefully the music will be better than last year."

"Can't be as bad! What was the name of that reggae band?"

For a fleeting moment, Ivar entertains the thought of attending as well. Not that he's dying to, but… Sometimes, he feels a little bit like Cinderella in this house.

Don't get him wrong, it's not that bad.

First, his stepmom is not–

Wait, wait, wait, is Lagertha technically his stepmom? He's not sure. After all, she wasn't when his parents were alive, she was just his father's first wife. Anyway, she may be his guardian now, but he sees her as his stepmom and he honestly doesn’t give a shit if it's a little weird.

Where was he? Oh yes, Cinderella.

So obviously, Lagertha is not a wicked, haughty and abusive stepmom like this Lady Tremaine of the fairytale.

Actually, even if it pisses him off to admit it, she's pretty nice, patient and composed. Does he love her? Let's not exaggerate – he doesn't. She may love him though, which is a little bit uncanny, if he's being honest. He was the favorite son of her nemesis. Shouldn't she hate him? He would, if the situation was reversed.

The truth is, when he was younger, he tried, he really tried to hate her, blaming her for everything and anything. When too much pain prevented him from sleeping, he let his imagination run wild. There, bound to his bed of suffering, he could see Lagertha cutting the brakes on his mother's car, causing her crash, causing her death.

Of course, even then, he knew deep down that Lagertha had not killed his mother; that the story he told himself was just the product of his endless nights of insomnia. But what can he say? He needed this. Because blaming Lagertha rather than admitting that his beloved mother was at fault – by being distracted, or by falling asleep, he'll never know – was easier for the heartbroken boy he was.

Anyway... So yes, Lagertha is definitely not an evil stepmother like Cinderella's.

Also, he doesn't sleep on a sorry garret, on a wretched straw bed either.

Actually, he has a very large room on the main floor, with a king-size memory foam bed, a walk-in – well, a wheel-in for his case – closet and his own, huge bathroom, fully equipped for his special needs.

Sure, the bathroom and the dressing room were already there when his parents were alive; however, the memory foam mattress had been Lagertha's idea.

Anyway... So yes, he can't exactly complain about his sleeping conditions, unlike Cinderella.

And obviously, he's not forced into servitude.

Actually, one might think so, but no, he's not. Sure, sometimes he works for his stepmom, like today. But so do his brothers. When she had taken them in, she was a powerful businesswoman, working twelve to fourteen hours a day. Once she had become their guardian, she had rearranged her working time and learned to delegate; but even so, she had often run out of time. Therefore, it had seemed normal to them – yes, even to him – to help her out, each of them according to their skills and abilities.

So, while Hvitserk almost always does the grocery shopping, while Sigurd vacuums and does the laundry, while Ubbe mows the lawn and trim the bushes, he, Ivar, runs her company's website and sometimes even does the accounting. And since he loves computers and numbers, it's not exactly a problem.

Anyway... So yes, he's not a slave in this house. Unlike Cinderella.

So, yes, to sum it up, he can't really complain and he's by far not Cinderella. And he knows it.

But... Yes, there's a but...

Sometimes, he feels trapped, as poor Cinderella must have felt.

Sometimes he feels like a spectator of a life he doesn't belong to.

Sure, he doesn't have to be homeschooled – but gods, he's glad he is. The reasons for him to be continuously bullied by classmates are endless. The simplest ones being: he is a cripple, an orphan, the son of a dead mob boss, the smartest one in the whole damn school, let alone his class. Take your pick. It's no fun, no fun at all. Being home alone is preferable to that alternative.

Therefore, barely leaving the house except for medical appointments, he has no friends. He doesn't do sports either – obviously – and yeah, he lives a lonely life, filled with video games and Netflix series. And he's okay with that. Well, most of the time.

Sure, his brothers, or at least Ubbe and Hvitserk, always try to include him as much as possible. But the truth is that because of his legs, there are many, many things he just can't do.

And the other truth, the less pleasant one, is that he partially did that to himself. He cut himself off from a world that hurt him, yet he still misses this world sometimes. At times, he blames himself. Because his life, honestly, is hardly what you would call a life, is it? Not when you're sixteen.

That's why sometimes, like now, he feels this longing, almost a need, to live. To really, truly, fully live. And that's why, for a brief moment, lulled by the light chitchat of his brothers, he considers attending Harald's midsummer party.

But he knows better. This life is not for him, never has been, never will be.

And so, shaking his head, he chases the thought away and, placing his hands on his push rims, he's about to leave the kitchen while the incessant babbling of his brothers goes on.

"I can't wait."

"Don't tell me! As every year, the most beautiful girls of Kattegat will be there."

"Remember that burger food truck? Best burgers ever!"

"I've heard Y/N would be attending this year."

"There'll be booze and girls! Sounds like Valh–"

Wait. His mind goes blank.

Fuck.

What? Did he hear right?

As he replays his brother's words in his head, it's like there's an earthquake happening inside of him.

Fuck.

He stops breathing. Blinks, then clamps his eyes shut.

Fuck.

When he finally manages to draw air into his lungs, he swallows loudly before asking in a weird, high-pitched voice, his heart pounding in his chest, "What– What did you say, brother?"

Hvitserk turns his head toward him and shrugs. "I just said there'll be boo–"

"No, not you!" Ivar snaps at his brother, pointing his pointer finger at Ubbe. "You, what did you fucking say?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lagertha frowning – 'no curse words in this house, boys'– and even if he barely contains an eye roll, he still mouths a quick 'sorry' at her before rewording his question, impatience coursing through him. "What did you say, dear brother? Who did you say would attend?"

Stunned, Ubbe looks at him with wide eyes. "Y/N? I said Y/N would come. That's what I heard anyway. She's Harald's niece. She was here once, right? Remember her, baby bro, huh?"

But Ivar is no longer listening, the blood draining from his face. Y/N... Y/N... Fuck. Finally. Fucking finally. After so long... He may see you again. Wow.

I'll go! I'll fucking go!

He barely contains the words, suddenly acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room, his brothers shamelessly staring at him.

With her brows furrowed and her lips turned downward in a slight frown, Lagertha takes two steps forwards before crouching down in front of him. "Are you all right, sweetie? You're a little pale."

He barely hears when Sigurd giggles, "A little pale? He's greener than an alien!"

Lagertha shoots Sigurd a dirty look and then gently cups Ivar's cheek. "Do you know her, Ivar? Do you know Y/N?"

Overwhelmed, self-conscious, freaked out, caught off-guard, he doesn't know how to respond. Should he tell the truth? Should he lie? His brothers will mock him, for sure. What is the point of telling the truth? What good would it do? On the other hand, he could really use some advice. Yeah. Sure. Advice from Sigurd. Just the thought of it is enough to make him sick. Fuck, what is he going to do?

Rushed words are out of his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts. "No. No. I don't. I mean, yes, I think I do but–" He's being pathetic and he hates it. So after a sharp intake of breath, he shakes his head and eventually replies in a flat, calm voice, the white lie rolling off his tongue. "I know her, but I thought Ubbe was talking about someone else. Sorry."

With these words, he hastily leaves the room, his eyes riveted on his knees, his heart still drumming in his chest.

Y/N. Fuck.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings

[simpz-art-stash]

Late beginnings

Summary: Mac goes out for a drink, and happens upon some advice he takes into consideration about his skewered relationship with Wukong. Before finally taking some action to mend the long burnt bridge. (Author’s note: I barely did any beta reading for this so if it’s worded strangely that’s just how I write without the normal filter on. I’m country so HOWDY) Next Page ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The night was late, but he didn’t care, he might as well have been nocturnal with the way his whole life revolved around the whole stereotype of shadows and shit. He’d walked into a bar he’d passed through a few times before, donning his human disguise of course beforehand, and walked in without sparing anyone else a glance. Before planting his rear in one of the stools seated at the front bar, ordering a drink to get the night started. “I’m really looking forward to seeing that new Monkey King movie with the trailer they just released. You saw it too right?? The whole style of the film is on par with their most recent game- OH, you think they’re gonna make a game of it?? I bet you they wiiiill!~” Ugh, great, just what he’d come here to avoid.

Mac’s eyes glanced to the blabbermouth boasting about whatever new movie was being made about his ex, to see two girls residing a ways down near the other end of the bar a few seats away from him. Both looking to have had a fair night themselves already if any of the cups and plates hanging around their spot was anything to go by. “Probably. I hope it’s better than last game that came out on the Brick 360, the bugs in that thing were gross to deal with.” Their friend commented back. Before looking down at their phone and claiming that it was getting late and that they had to go. “Yeah I’ll see ya Monday!” The chick waved their friend off a lazy farewell after they’d paid their bill before going back to their drink, now taking less tedious sips as the mood seemed to smooth out from their conversation prior. “I see someone’s a pretty big fan of that ol’ man.” Macaque piped up from where he sat, earning the attention of the stranger he’d directed his comment towards. “The Monkey King yeah?” Sparks danced in the chick’s eyes at the recognition of the name, before the stranger perked up and beamed a smile back at him, “You betcha! I’m a total nerd for that legend.” ‘A legend, hah.’ “S’the whole reason I moved to China in the first place.” She jabbed a thumb at her chest, “All the way from America!” Mac whistled, “That’s a pretty far leap to take, even for a legend. What, you hopin’ you’ll get the chance to see em’ or somethin’?” He sneered, taking his glass and lazily swirling it in his hand. “I wish!” She laughed, “Nah I mostly just moved here for work. If anything though it’s cuz a them for where I am now. I’d never even heard of him till about five years ago!” Mac blinked, lowering his drink from his lips, “You’re joking…”

“Not at all! No one hardly knows the story back home. Only reason I found out was cuz I just started gettin’ into anything monkey-related as a hobby.” She pointed at him, “Don’t laugh either, it’s a wildly popular standpoint to have these days online.” Mac quirked a brow at that, he’d hardly touched the internet these days save for whenever he needed some quick info on something he couldn’t find elsewhere. He held his hands up, “Hey I ain’t judging…” He smirked a little to betray the look that he totally was though. It was kinda funny how ironic it was him being there right then. She squinted at him, “Anyways...Yeah, I’d seen stuff of him online, but I’d never paid much attention to it up until recently.” “What made you change your mind?” Mac boredly probed, taking a sip. She simply shrugged, “I was in a dark headspace, guy made me laugh.” He paused, “Wait, seriously??” “I mean have you HEARD half the crazy shit he’s done??” ‘Babe I’ve LIVED through half the shit he’s done.’ “Like, literally, the guy is HILARIOUS. My favorite story out of them all being one where he literally tricked THREE taoist immortals into drinking his own piss!!” She burst out laughing while Mac choked on his drink a little, not having expected to hear that of all things. Sure he’d heard a few of the shenanigan’s his peaches had gotten up to throughout his journey to the west but he’d never heard that one before. Nor had he the patience to read through all that mess of context that had been published either. “Ahhh man, it still gets me…” The chick sighed with a few leftover laughs as she wiped a tear from her eye. “What about you? What’s your favorite story?” She asked. And suddenly Mac felt like he’d been put on the spot as he stared back at her. “Come ooon, surely there’s one that’s gotten your gut rolling.” She pried. ‘Plenty, but there ain’t no way in hell I’d tell a soul.’ “Bahh...there ain’t the first one that comes to mind that I’d like. Honestly I’m not even much of a fan.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Whaaat?? Aw come on! There’s tons of cool n’ funny stories!” “Heh..can’t imagine what you find so charming about a guy who’s too good for his own friends.” Mac spitefully twacked himself mentally for spewing something so personal like that out. Ugh, and he hadn’t even finished half his drink yet… The chick sitting to his left seemed to tilt her head a little before she squinted at him. Her silence being what brought his attention from his drink to her as he blinked back with a quirked brow. “What?” “Your eyes, they’re like raging storm clouds.” She pointed out. He blinked, not really sure how to feel about that. The only one who’d ever really pointed that out to him before was… “...So?” “Nothing!...” She shrugged, turning back away towards her own drink as if no conversation at all had happened between them. Whatever...he had his fill of shit to drink to either way. The night might’ve been late but he was just getting started. “He makes me laugh though.” She pointed out, earning her a glance. “All his stories n’ stuff. If there was ever a man I’d want, it’d be one who could always make me laugh.” “Hmph, not one for strength?” He took a long sip. Ignoring the bitterness of others fawning over someone he’d come to love before he’d gotten so popular. “Strength is fine n’ all, but it can only take a relationship so far..you gotta have more pieces to put in that crockpot of a relationship if you wanna make it taste good. Stuff like patience, honesty, a little bit of everything to help it all come together to make it juuuuust right.” “Hm…” “It can’t be all just you putting the stuff in there either, it’s gotta be a contribution from both gardens. Otherwise you’ll just barren your lands and be left with nothing to spare yourself or others in your life with.” She glanced at Mac, “Relationships are tricky like that, but they should always be a 50/50 split~” She winked. That...actually sounded like pretty sound advice. Something he’d heard a little here and there before but never so simply laid out. Though it made sense from his standpoint, fairness n’ all that. But he’d been that way with Wukong before and it had never worked out, all the bickering and such, so what had gone wrong? “Can I...ask you something?” Mac inquired. “Shoot.” “What’re your thoughts on..a relationship that seemed fine, but then the other changed so much that everything about it fell apart?” “Mmm...care to sprinkle in a lil more context?” The chick eyed him. Mac’s face scrunched up a little, no idea why he was asking some random mortal for relationship advice of all things. “Hey man. We’re both probably never gonna meet again after tonight, so if you’ve got skeletons in your closet, your best place to let em’ out is here. Bartenders are known for being the most well kept secret keepers in all the world after all~” She winked at the bartender in question who simply looked the other way with a look that might’ve suggested such a fact as truth. “Hm…” Ah screw it, “Alright alright…” He sighed and put his drink down, “There’s..someone. We used to be real close, we were strong together but then uh..shit got real and he had to go deal with it. But when he came back he uh, wasn’t the same as before, an I might’ve sorta assumed he was cheating on me so…so we kinda fell out.” The chick nodded, “Ahh..the classic misunderstanding of change and cheating, a tale as old as time.” She seemed to hum a moment before she turned from where she was seated, if not to hop down off her stool and plop down on the one right up next to him. “Uh-” “Shhh, lemme see those eyes.” She squinted, leaning in and staring deep into his. It’d would’ve been really unnerving if she hadn’t said anything about them before, now he was a lil put off that he might’ve been asking a witch of all things for advice… “Right. Well, at least you feel bad about it. So there’s that.” He blinked and his brows furrowed, “Wh- of course I feel bad about it, it was his fault-” He suddenly had a finger pressed to his lips. “Nope! Nooononono, you do not get to throw all the blame elsewhere like that sweetheart. There ain’t no way in hell you’re gettin’ a second chance with them if you keep that up.” She pulled her hands back. His face scrunched up and he found himself crossing his arms, if he had his tail out it would’ve been irritably swaying behind him right then at just how annoyed he was getting at this weird lady and her words. “Oh yeah? An what do you think’s best then huh?” “I dunno if you’d be up for that kinda challenge…” She idly fiddled with an imaginative piece of lint off her sleeve, which only seemed to irritate Mac further at the thought of him not being able to handle Wukong of all people. Like sure he’d gotten his ass handed to him before but he could still hold his own! “Try me.” The chick glanced back at him with a smirk, which caught him off guard for a second before he shot her a glare back. “Alright, but it’s definitely not gonna be as quick or easygoing of a recovery as you might hope it’ll be. Nor is there even a chance of you recovering it in the first place. But, you at least got that spark enough to try so who am I to deny?” ‘Hmpt, dam right I got a spark.’

“First of all, no more blaming, if you’re gonna tackle this properly, you gotta do yourselves a favor an quit it with the blame placing. Sure it’s easy, but it ain’t gonna get you nowhere but back to square one. It’s all in the past, the now is now. So push forward to fix it and put it behind you two so you can focus on the more important things.” “Easier said than done…” “Hey man, even if they don’t follow the same ruleset at first you could always work things out to make it one later on. I’m just tellin’ ya right now so you won’t just go diggin’ yourself a deeper hole.” Honestly at this point he was pretty much six feet down under, death to him would’ve been a mercy right then. “Fine…” He rolled his eyes. “Next up, apologizing…” -----------~----------- “I thought I told you to stay off my island.” Mac didn’t really glance back from where he stood high up on one of the breathtaking ledges that which Flower Fruit Mountain bolstered. His arms crossed, eyes sternly held against the leftover warmth of the late afternoon sun as it shifted the skies hues from blue to blood red. Hopefully that would be the only tinge of red the Mountain would see after today. “I know.” “What, no witty remark? Give me one good reason-” “I just wanted to talk.” Mac stated plainly. “Why the hell should I give you the chance?” “...” Mac wasn’t sure if he could come up with a good enough reason after the shitshow he’d caused him the last few centuries, most recent being his spat with him between MK. “I’m sorry.” That seemed to catch the king off guard, as he paused in his vicious glare to stare at the other. “Excuse me??” “I’m.Sorry.” Mac turned finally to Wukong, that look of fiery malice having softened immensely upon meeting their eyes. “I was wrong for what I did and I’m sorry.” Wukong’s face looked like it had had a stroke with how frozen in place it was, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Hurting everyone around you just to get back at you, I was wrong for doing that. And I just wanted to apologize.” Mac’s face twisted a little, the words coming out a little rougher than he’d liked, but he’d managed to get three steps in so far… “If you think a few sorry’s are gonna be enough to make up for all that crap then you gotta nother’ thing comin Mac.” Wukong finally shook off the surprise and crossed his arms with a steely gaze. “Nah I know they ain’t worth shit with as long as it's been...which it’s been..a really, really long time come to think of it..nearly 3000 years…” Fucking yikes. “What’s your point?...” Wukong raised a brow at him. “My point is...my point..” What was his point? To make amends and hope they’d get back together? To go back to the way things were? That couldn’t be done with the way things were now. Wukong had a successor, a moral compass, a lotta shit that Mac didn’t. A lotta shit that he wanted but never could figure out how to get his own. His face scrunched up a little and he sighed, “I..just wanted to make things right.” “Oh-hoh? After so long you finally decided to admit you were at fault? Sorry Mac, but it’s waaaay too late for that.” Wukong huffed, “Honestly, this is probably just another one of your stupid tricks if anything. The old Macaque would never throw himself down like that.” “Well maybe I’ve changed!” Mac exclaimed suddenly, his temper flaring a bit as his eyes flashed lightning. “3000 years later? As if…” Wukong rolled his eyes and turned away, “You’ve still got that same look in your eyes you always do whenever we fight. Do me a favor and just keep away from the hot springs this time yeah? The last time you were here you sent a whole dam boulder over there and smashed half the pools.” He waved his hand dismissively. “And I happen to take my once a month bath’s very seriously.” Mac’s nostrils flared a little at just how flamboyant Wukong was acting towards him and his attempt to make amends. How he just saw his attempt as a joke and nothing more, it pissed him off. Wukong had changed and everyone had accepted him, well not everyone, but still, why couldn’t the same be for him? Had he really fooled himself into believing that there was a chance he and Wukong could be together again? His shoulders slumped a little. Of course, who was he kidding. A 3000 year old pit of grudges wasn’t about to just up and disappear at the wave of a white flag. This was Wukong, the same guy who still playfully pestered the gods and demons around him for past conflicts that had happened between them. -----------~----------- “But you can’t just go, ‘ooo I’m so sorry for what I did.’ Nah, you gotta follow the five steps.” The chick claimed. “Yeesh, this a learning course now?” Mac tilted his head to the side. “It is if you wanna make things right.” She claimed matter a factly. “The five steps have never failed me before and have worked wonders for any an all my relationships. Might not quite have the same range of effect you’re going for but it’ll at least be a good start.” “Heh, you got the guts to back up that case?” Mac sneered. “I will if you don’t manage to screw it up.” The chick pointed out. “The five steps go as follows.” - express sorrow (I’m sorry) - own guilt (I was wrong) - name specific wrongs (I did X) - name impact (I hurt you) “And finally...” -----------~----------- “What can I do to prove myself to you?” Macaque asked finally. “What can I do to at least make it to where we can..not fight anymore..and just talk?...” Wukong stood there for a long moment, his features unreadable as their silence was muffled by the wind bellowing between them both from being so high up. “You really are serious about this aren’t you?...” Wukong’s head shifted ever so slightly, but not enough to where Mac could get a reading on his emotions. “I’m tired of fighting and waiting and thinking that if enough time passes things’ll go back to the way they were...when they never will. Trying to hurt you isn’t gonna make the old you come back, no matter how many times you beat me down...It’ll never be the same.” Mac admitted finally. A quiet gust settled down between them, before Wukong seemed to let out a dry chuckle and shook his head. “Can’t believe it took me 3000 years to beat the sense into you.” He turned and looked back at the other, where he no longer held a look of seething hate, but more akin to that of the same tired look just as the one Mac wore. Mac felt a sliver of guilt wriggle its way into one of the cracks of his heart and he glanced away, pulling a hand back and scratching his head. “Yeah well...your kid hit me pretty hard last time, enough to knock it in place.” A small smile crept a little onto his face. “Hm~ He’s gettin’ pretty good at hittin’ stuff with that old stick.” Wukong’s eyes glinted a little at the appeal of how proud he was for MK having taken Mac out the way he did. A little over the top and flashy, just like him.” “He’s got a pretty strong master to thank for that…” Mac found himself yearning a little for that same glint to be reflected on his memory the same way as MK’s. Not that he couldn’t see himself holding the same appeal for MK the way Wukong did, kid was strong, just a lil desperate in some of the cracks that shaped his outline. Something Macaque found that was easy enough to take advantage of, and something Wukong held a blind eye to. “Hm.” Wukong’s reply pushed him out of those thoughts for the moment as they shared a brief look between one another. A glimmer of reconsideration flashing between the two before Wukong finally turned his head away to drink in the sunset before them. “One chance.” Mac felt his heart nearly stop at that answer. “I’ll give you one chance, but if you screw this up, don’t even think about showing your face to me again.” Wukong replied, “I mean it this time…” Mac swallowed a little and nodded. Anything, he’d be willing to do anything to gain back what little trust he could from Wukong. “Good...you can start making up for it by apologizing to MK.” Mac blinked and sputtered a little as Wukong turned away and began to make his way back down the mountain. A smile playing on his lips while Macaque groaned to the heavens about his next trial.

[felikatze]

Just wanted to say thank you so much for all the brainworms you have been giving me and my friends for the past few hours about Ayin and all the analyses you've been doing about him.

I have been losing my mind in the middle of the night thinking about all the things you've said, turning it over like crazy and trying to compare it with the gameplay I've had of Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina.

Please do more analysis and share more of your ideas! Please? Please, with cherry on top? Please, I beg of you?

Especially if you have in-depth ideas of analyses for the Sephirah and how it relates to both their own characters and Ayin and Angela.

I thank you greatly in advance!

the implication that i've infected an entire friend group with my brainworms is power that will 100% go to my head i feel amazing. what else is analysis posting except trying to inflict people with the same thoughts bouncing around your skull on repeat

i DO have shit on the sephirah but mostly netzach, because i love netzach, and i in fact found my discord ramble about him (and chesed)

i dont have things on how they relate to A and Angela specifically because I mainly kept thinking abt Reverbaration Ensemble parallels... i have so many thoughs abt Netzach and Bremen.

(but if you want me to talk about, say, a specific core supression, or floor realization... i have a lot of thoughts on floor realizations.)

First off I am so sorry that you seem to think I'm smart because that means i have the perfect opportunity to inflict you with this

okay now we can get to the serious stuff

[transcript:

containment breach:

quick ramble abt lor again but i love the ensemble receptions so much. i'm at chesed's rn, and i know he's been chill the entire game, but him just refusing to comment on jae-hoon's tragedy seems, out of context, a dick move, but also is so important for chesed to do? he recognizes that another's suffering is not related to him, that he can't do anything about it, and that this is fine. The closest i'd describe chesed in lobcorp would be "activist burnout." Due to betraying the lab from garion's pressure, chesed was so consumed by guilt, he just blamed himself for everything and became more callous because it's already his fault, right? There's nothing he can do. But in lor, he knows what his responsibilities are, and allows himself joy where he can find it. I love the ensemble receptions bcuz they are just examplary of each patron libriarian's growth and i iqbfjc (sobs)

GOD this sure is a paragraph

also have to salute netzach for carrying his scene all by himself as the musicians of bremen just (animal noises) :pray:

ykno being online i realize that i'm not quiet at all i am a complete and utter chatterbox /end]

[transcript:

containment breach:

thinking abt netzach's scene where he doesn't talk to bremen, because he can't, but recognizes this who has not only lost themself in their own art but also their own suffering

i just i love netzach so much his entire character arc is abt learning to live with depression and learning to want to live again

so he becomes unable to understand, really, why someone would sacrifice themselves for their own art

when he started out just, similar yet different from bremen, completely submerged in his own misery

musicians of bremen reminds me i still have bremen bon bons at home i should eat those. they r tasty /end]

i wanna specifically dig into this scene more because i love that scene, a lot.

Art as we get to know it in the City is irrevocably tied to violence. Puppets are made of human bodies, music is played on bones and sinews. To the artists of the City, to create art is to make someone suffer. Rewatching Netzach's story bits, Roland describes it as doing nothing but seeking stimulation and being provocative.

Furthermore, there is a direct comparison between art and alcohol. To paraphrase more, the Pianist must've been one hell of a stimulant, like getting hit by a strong booze. A performance some are still hungover from.

Netzach's main struggle was addiction because of depression, and his growing appreciation for art is a continuation of that arc. He says himself that art and alcohol are linked.

However, alcohol is a step down from hard drugs. Netzach hasn't quit, but just that step down shows he learned moderation, which makes me very proud of him.

Moderation is what the other.. let's just call them artists, lack. I said in the screencaps above, initially, Netzach was lost in his own suffering, and the musicians of bremen are lost in their art. And if art is seen as equal to suffering, that just means Netzach and Bremen are more similar than expected. (Especially considering what we see of the musicians previously; they’re always trying to chase the same high they experienced listening to the Pianist by any means necessary. The addiction parallels are not suprising.)

I rewatched most of Netzach's lor scenes, and what rlly gets me is that in his first one, he seems almost the exact same as in lobcorp. He doesn't want to work, he got dragged into this against his will, he feels as if his accomplishments are futile.

But! He eventually invites Roland for drinks. He's not drinking to forget alone anymore, he's doing it as social activity. Furthermore, the more time he spends as Patron Librarian of Arts, the more he grows to appreciate art. Art is tied to suffering, still, but it is an expression of suffering. It does not produce any. Or should not, in any case. He sure wishes it wouldn’t.

So we arrive at his Ensemble Reception. This one makes a rather interesting comparison: art as the pursuit of the light. Let me elaborate.

To quote, “Honestly, I wanna tell people to stop doing the kind of art that requires ‘em to immolate themselves and others. Although, on the other hand... I can kinda see where they’re coming from. Art narrows your vision, after all.

You stop caring about the things around you. That’s how most artists seem to act, I think. And so, you indulge in the craft, not realizing that you’re throwing yourself and your surroundings into the fire you started.”

I pose this: Netzach speaks of his experience as Giovanni. Giovanni was a researcher who, when push came to shove, willingly sacrificed himself to advance the project, in hopes of seeing the light, seeing Carmen, again.

Though he dislikes Bremen’s actions, he does not judge them for it, because he recognized that it would be hypocritical. Even so, what shows that he’s grown is that he.. doesn’t want to see people harm themselves anymore. The focus here isn’t if Bremen hurt other people, which they have, but how much of themselves they’ve given up for their performance. He condemns the act, and not the people.

“If I can see that light once more... If I have to muster up the courage to reach it, I’ll gladly do it. It’s easier said than done, though; you need a lot of fearlessness for it.

And I guess you saw the same kind of light I was so desperate to see, yeah? Even if yours was a twisted creature... [...] Though, I don’t think I can tell you off like the others. At least I can see the reason behind it.”

He even explicitly mentions the light. The funny thing is, both Giovanni and Bremen tried to reach the Seed of Light, and Carmen. It’s tragically hilarious that we know Carmen is the voice the Distortions hear.

Hell, the more I think about it, the more you can just compare the Ensemble as a whole to the Outskirts Lab crew, down to Angelica’s puppet body and Carmen’s desecrated corpse.

“And I know pretty well that we have no right to devilishly pick apart each other’s way of art. I’m not very proud of mine, really...”

Netzach just.. gets it. I can’t remember atm, but I don’t think the other Patron Librarians really draw parallels like that. I’m seeing all the parallels now and I can’t unsee them ever. Bro.

His “art,” his way of protecting the light, is still violent. But he sees that perhaps it didn’t have to be, or rather shouldn’t be. I fucking love Netzach so much. His arc just means a lot to me personally, and I’d wager a lot of people who’ve struggled with mental illness would agree.

I’m not gonna get into Netzach’s floor realization here because this post is already long enough, but like, look at the specific flashback of Angela shown in Netzach’s story bits and contrast it to his arc of learning to want to live, and. Yeah.

[tsu9live]

Before I start, this is in no offence to anyone else’s opinion. You are all valid and probably make more sense than me. This is a bit of a rant and then a short character study.

Warning: This got too long.

I tend to come online for manga updates and ended up reading through opinion posts because I am a curious cat. Most of the time I come across really well-thought out posts, really valid points. But then MHA is also a soap opera/family drama where the main character is not supposed to have any progress in his story unless its to bolster or move along the other favs . But then they shouldn’t be bolstering his story either because why is a story about Deku’s journey all about Deku?

But then there are people who are happy Deku is finally edgy and they want him to wipe the floor with his classmates who love him and are willing to fight him if only to get through to him. So there are both extremes and honestly there is validity in all these thoughts because despite the writer’s intentions, a reader brings the story to life.

I personally hate making my own predictions because most of the time I feel it ruins the experience of reading a work for me. I go in with different expectations and when the story goes a different way I don’t enjoy it as much but I feel its more my fault.

So I do understand and respect the difference of opinion because there is no fandom without discourse.

In my opinion though, this Deku solo arc was a long time coming and I think Horikoshi has handled it really weird. I’m still trying to understand what he wants us to think about.

A story about heroes and putting your life on the line for someone else is controversial, but, I thought it was a given. Recklessness had been part of Deku’s character but an overly-cautious character would do nothing. Deku’s lack of self-preservation wasn’t unnatural for a hero, he rushed in to save Bakugo from the slime-villain when Pros stood by putting himself at risk but it spurred AM to act. Katsuki experienced it as well during the war arc, when his body moved to save Deku.

Going to Kamino to save Bakugo was suicidal, reckless and potentially flawed but story-wise it made sense. How is hero-work anything than risky? Kirishima and Todoroki initiated it.

Disclaimer: Deku, Bakugo, Uraraka, Momo, Toga and Shigaraki are characters that are very dear to me because they have had me extremely invested since the beginning of the story. This is my personal opinion, flaws, rant... basically me working through my feelings about this manga I had been obsessed with recently.

1) There is an opinion where Bakugo had a right to be upset/angry/bully Deku because he wanted to be a hero but did nothing for it. Firstly, I don’t understand the need to justify his behaviour when he himself has expressed regret on it. People want others to move on from the “go jump off the roof comment” but won’t stop talking about how everything about Bully Bakugo was justified. Deku was weaker, but he had the same dreams, dreams that were the basis of their friendship earlier on. Regardless of how Deku wanted to achieve them, Bakugo had no right to keep trying to stop him from doing so. No, 5, 10, 14 year old Bakugo did not do so because he had the brilliant foresight that Deku would be self-sacrificial and it was for his sake, he was an angry kid and Deku was a timid, wannabe that confused him, intimidated him even. Taking out his anger was a way of working through those feelings. He was in Deku’s words “a punching bag”. In a world where the powerful reign, Bakugo couldn’t understand how a quirk less, weak little boy could think he could stand shoulder to shoulder with someone as gifted as Bakugo. Yeah, society is very much to blame. The change and maturity Bakugo goes through where he is humbled by a cast of amazing hero students who are just as gifted yet with inspiring personalities and then traumatic consequences of being kidnapped, watching his hero use the last of his powers to hold back a great evil, having that fight with Deku where he bared himself open, failing the licensing exam, training with todoroki, the internship... the war has changed him in a way that has brought out his full potential as a hero and a person. There is a lot to admire about him yet I see so many people fixate on headcanons that glorify his every action/word instead of praising the amazing person he has become/how well written his growth has been.

2) “Deku wanted to be a hero and he did nothing for it”. “He could have been a quirkless hero like Batman.” Listen, the story is about AFO vs OFA first and foremost. Hori has done a good job of worldbuilding and adding a cast of interesting characters that its easy to forget what the main plot point of the story is. But it really is about a weak/timid boy who was born with a sort of handicap who dared to dream to be someone strong enough to have others rely on him instead. A lot of the times people want to become something they feel they needed, someone who gave people hope just by existing. Its natural for someone who is ‘considered useless’ to want to be the most useful person ever. His mother didn’t believe he could do it, Bakugo told him repeatedly he shouldn’t even try, everyone else made fun of him, and his hero gave him a wake-up call, no... you can’t be a hero without a quirk. Deku studied heroes and quirks all his life, hoping he’d find something that could work for his advantage. Not every hero relies on physical strength, their bodies are adapted to the nature of their quirks. Deku’s analysis, quick-thinking and impulsive nature is what helped him progress even after getting the quirk because he didn’t gain control until really late. People act like he was handed power, seem to forget he has just learned to use it without consequences. His studies of quirks also made him the best candidate to get new quirks, quirks that he has learned to utilise as tools quickly and efficiently. He was doing what he thought was going to help him become a hero without guidance, without backing and constant discouragements. Its admirable and relatable. If you don’t relate to him that’s fine, your life was different.

Batman was loaded. Deku is not an inventor. The Editors shot that idea down because it would not have survived in a genre where power fantasies are the main hooks. Aizawa, sure he’s training Shinso because he sees his potential now but he would have either expelled Deku/moved him to General studies on that first day for scoring the least in that test. He changed his mind not because of Deku’s quirk but because of Deku’s ingenuity.

When Deku did find his guidance, he tried to do years of work/training in a short period of time. He acknowledges how far behind he is, that the rest are leagues above him and all he wants is to be able to stand side by side with those incredible people and he would go to all lengths to do so. DEKU has never said he wants to be the number one hero. He always says he wants to be one so reliable he saves people with a smile and later on, he wants to be a hero that can save without having other people worry about him. Bakugo works hard, he’s not just exceptional he works hard for it, all of 1A do but saying Deku does nothing when he is constantly shown, studying, training his body, understanding his shortcomings and working on it is just petty. You don’t like him because of his saviour complex, newsflash, that is a hero thing. Hero course is about that, Deku’s is just highlighted because of how often he gets hurt. How can you be a Todoroki stan and hate Deku (although to be fair its your right, I’m just making a point), the kid saw Shouto and decided that it was more important for Shouto to stop hurting and gave him a hell of a fight. I still remember Shouto’s smile, it gave me goose bumps.

Deku’s lack of self-preservation is a part of his programming so much that he hasn’t noticed it yet. Deku broke his bones, but he didn’t realise the permanent damage. When Deku got injured with Muscular, he was never intending to fight him alone. He wanted backup, his phone was broken and he wanted to get Kouta out and tried but Muscular gave him no opening. He was driven into a corner and fought his way out. Like Aizawa said, “He got that injured because he has no intention of dying.” Before rushing to find Bakugo, he informed his superior first, knowing she can spread the message.

The fight with Stain, he messaged his location to all his classmates, didn’t intend to fight Stain alone, just defend Iida long enough for help to come along. Fight with overhaul, he just wanted to get Eri away and when he understood Eri’s power, he gave her the opportunity to fight back against her oppressor by teaming up with him, keeping her secure with the cape made out of Lemillion’s hair. During the whole fight he was present-minded enough to take the fight away from civilians and managed to prevent damage and casualties. During Natsuo’s rescue he played support.

During the war arc, he realised with despair that Shigaraki was coming in all his destructive glory for him and tried to stop him before but he didn’t object to Bakugo joining him. In the movie Heroes Rising (the initially planned ending) he willingly gave OFA to Bakugo, because he trusts him with his life, and was willing to be quirkless again if that’s what it took to keep the kids safe, and himself and Bakugo alive. Its mostly been good decisions on his part.

Its the war arc that’s been his downfall. Watching his childhood friend/rival almost die, his best friend, his mentors almost die while he could barely hold Shigaraki back set off a fight or flight response in him. The seriousness of how Shigaraki came for him and left such death and destruction in his wake because he was not strong enough and AFO is a monster and the sight of Shigaraki and the reality of his situation pushed him down the current path. His solo arc started well because constantly training in the field has helped him master his quirk, and he had the backup of the vestiges who trained and guided him in learning to use it as a toolset instead of a one-punch solution. Then coming face to face with the flaws of hero society and the power, manipulative nature and destructive intentions of AFO has prepared him emotionally. He is not acting like AM, he hasn’t in a while. He is acting like NANA and i don’t blame him because she’s in his head. No adult stopped him from doing this, instead using him as bait to lure out the league.

When they started realising he’s spiralling out of control, that’s when they realised they messed up.

He’s running on adrenaline/fumes alone and I think he’s actually terrified.

“AFO is OFA’s responsibility” “Tell the world I am here” “You’re not as strong as me yet,” “You are not a worthy successor”

Deku isn’t self-centered and but I agree with the screw loose comment (its years of “you are useless, not good enough, not worthy and I bet a dozen or so concussions, bloodloss, dehydration lol). I know Bakugo means well and that’s how he talks. At the moment, he’s probably the only one whose sole goal is Deku’s survival. Deku’s like a wild animal, terrified, lost and as always backed into a corner. AFO has him where he wants him and I am curious to see how class 1 A are going to get through to him. I don’t want them to fight, all those fanarts of Bakugo reaching his hand out to Deku and then maybe punching him in the face would have been a lot better then the mocking (the slow clap was a little triggering for me) but again maybe it just bothers me and Deku needs it. I’ll just have to wait and see. Deku and his class together would be an unstopabble force and I am waiting for that to finally happen.

P.S. Class 1 A looks so mature, everyone going crazy about Bakugo and his tie and I’m here like, look at baby Kirishima and his roots <3

I’m sorry if I gave anyone a headache lol.

[polyhexianchicken]

🧱😱❌🐺⚰️

Opo oh my god xD well I hope you're happy with what you get!! Cause they're pretty angsty prompts jdhjssh

[ 🧱 ] how would you describe your muses’ morality? what are their core values?

Erf, hard to say. As a broad overview, quite morally gray. He's very set on certain things... one could argue quite old fashioned in a sense. Whirl's honesty is very harsh at times and can hit a nerve quite quickly because despite everything, he's very quick to observe others and figure out what's going on with them. And if he sees them being stupid in his optics, he'll.. aggressively try to help them even if they'd rather not. The way he sees it, doing things like resorting quickly to violence/ just telling the others what you feel is a completely and only valid thing to do and everyone else is just weird for not being honest with eachother. (two mecha pining after eachother but not saying anything is beyond frustrating to Whirl. Even tho he himself is a huge hypocrite on that)

He does what he thinks is right, even if they aren't.. the most conventional, healthy or nondestructive ways he uses. Thing is though, he honestly does it to help, even if it doesn't always work out the way he intended it to go. He doesn't see anything wrong with what he deems right though.

[ 😱 ] does your muse have any specific fears? where did those fears come from?

Sedatives. Espescially in context with needles and medics. It can and will trigger him in either of two ways. He goes into a violent blackout haze of basically wrecking everything around him to get away and not remembering anything he did in that haze, or he's victim to an immense panic attack that then renders him unconscious. Anyone's guess as to who's fault is that, the Functionists of course. The only thing they did was sedate him to the point of not being able to move anymore, but still left online. Being anywhere near a medical bay makes him sick from getting so anxious, but he never admitted that to anyone out of shame. He'd rather say he doesn't trust medics at all and that it's oh so boring being cooped up in a medical bay.

[ ❌ ] is there something your muse struggles with that they might never overcome? what is it? why do they have so much trouble with it?

Opening up. For how nosy Whirl is and sticks his helm into everyone's business, he's somehow managed to keep quite alot about his own story to himself. He doesn't tell anyone about his past life, which shaped him, the good times and the bad times he had. Most know that he used to have a shop , he was a Wrecker and that he was a victim to Empurata . But that's pretty much it. He doesn't talk about his time as a flight instructor, in the Dead End, with the Functionists and not about his time with the Wreckers. He has immense fear of telling much more than he is infamous for. Not because he's upset to talk about it, moreso of rejection. The few mecha that he had somewhat friendships with, died fairly quickly, and sometimes Whirl feels like it was his fault for telling them about things he knew and experienced even though that isn't true.

He thinks they'll hate him, or wish that he was his 'old' self instead of what he is now and reject who he is, what is interests, hopes and dreams were and are. Since when he did try to pursue them and be open about it, he was beaten down so hard by the world that he never knew if he would bounce back.

[ 🐺 ] does your muse like solitude? do they prefer it to being around others? how easily does your muse get lonely?

Already answered here; but I'll delve more into how quickly he get's lonely

Fairly easily. He can't quite bare to be alone with his thoughts, even if he'll just end up sitting in the bar and just watching others, he's surrounded by buzzing voices, EMF and warmth. If nobody feels like talking to him, he'll just drink until he doesn't give a frag anymore and talks/annoys them anyway because he just wants to socialise. With friends, he'll often just come over no matter if they're busy or not and just come to chat and hang out, doesn't matter if he does most of the mindless rambling or the other. As long as it's some kind of socialising it brings him much joy and relief. He feels most at home around others, and he's painfully touchstarved. He desperately just wants phsyical affection/emotional closeness. He always manages to convince himself though that it's getting a bit too good and that he should distance himself a bit before it turns south badly.

[ ⚰️ ] what are your muse’s greatest regrets? what would flash before their eyes when they’re on their deathbed?

Hm, not all too sure, but I assume one of many things would be regretting how he treated others. That he never allowed himself to be happy, to be as open and loving to his friends like he means to deep inside, for how many he hurt in his outbursts, for how he was.

If he'd be on his deathbed without many friends to have close, his deepest regret would probably bounce back to millions of years ago, regretting ever picking up that one datapadbook about chronometers. He'd regret not apologising for how mean/absurd he was, for all the pain he's causes without fixing them. And regretting denying himself of finding true companionship in friends/ a partner. Because nothing would've made him happier than to call a few bots his family, be it friends or partner/kids. Denying himself all the things he could've had if he'd have just shut his stubborn aft processor off and let himself be vulnerable and loving like means to be.

[starlocked01]

I Know the Stars Will Start to Fade

AO3 @tsshipmonth2020

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary-  Roman was born with three soul marks but now has only one. He doesn't want to ruin his last great chance for happiness but finds his final soulmate, Logan, isn't what he expected. And neither is he what he expected of himself.

Day 10 LAMP (Platonic Logince focused, Romantic Moxiety)- Soulmates are born with matching soul marks

Roman was starting to feel desperate. He had been born with three different soul marks but now was left with one. He really couldn't blame Patton or Virgil for getting upset with him. Somehow this was his fault.

The soul marks had been beautiful. Three shields with different intricate patterns inside. One had a castle overshadowed by a storm cloud. That one had matched Virgil’s. One had a heart floating in a broiling sea. That one had matched with Patton's. The last showed a brain at the foot of the mountains with a field of stars above. He hoped whoever this brain matched to would be the one who lasted and stuck around.

He'd met Virgil on an online forum for people with multiple soul marks. They hadn't talked much but Virgil went by st0rmcl0ud online and had described a soul mark that sounded remarkably similar to Roman’s. So he reached out in DMs and they swapped photos of their marks and then phone numbers and at Roman's insistence planned to meet up. He was already head over heels for his soulmate and giddy with excitement to meet Virgil in real life. Virgil and Patton had found each other through a dating app. Virgil recognized the heart shield as matching one of Patton's marks and had introduced the two of them as well.

For the first month, it was wonderful. Roman had never been so enamored, so certain of a future together with these two. It felt wonderful and nerve-wracking and exciting and passionate and everything the fairy tales had promised love would be.

They went on dates and got to know each other better. Roman went from infatuated to admiring his soulmates. He still put forth the full effort to love them but his heart wasn't behind it the way it should have been.

The stormy castle started to fade. He loved- no- cared for his two soulmates deeply. But the mark started to fade. Roman’s grand romantic vision of the future started to settle into something more friendly and domestic. He hid his soul marks, not wanting to upset either of them.

The stormy castle faded completely and the heart in the ocean was beginning to dull in color as well. Roman loved going on dates because it made his friends happy, but he felt no happier than if they had a quiet movie night at home together or spent the night video calling each other.

Roman had been frustrated, because Virgil and Patton were still head over heels for each other, in their own ways of course. Why didn't he feel that romantic spark that had pulled them all together?

One day, the heart in the ocean faded completely. Roman was terrified to tell his soulmates that the marks were gone. He was even more frightened by the realization that he didn't really love them the way they loved him and each other. He absolutely cared for Patton and Virgil with his whole heart, but the romantic vision was gone. He wanted them in his life but the idea of dating twisted his gut in the most unpleasant way.

Virgil noticed first. Roman didn't think it was possible to see the man any paler than his normal complexion.

"You lied to us…"

"No, they disappeared. They were there. They were real!"

"How do you expect me to believe that, Roman," Virgil's eyes were clouded with fear and pain. Roman couldn’t meet his gaze any longer and looked away.

"Why would you-"

"I don't know! I- you're my soulmate, Virgil… I don't know why our mark disappeared."

Virgil shook his head and pulled out his phone, dialing from memory.

If Virgil's anger had been difficult, Patton's disappointment was worse. His sad eyes bore into Roman’s soul and he couldn't even soften the blow by blaming Roman.

"Roman, do you not want us?" Roman's heart crumbled at the question.

"Patton, of course, I-"

"He was never our soulmate, Pat! I don't know how but he lied to us," Virgil hissed, pulling Patton back away from Roman.

"Guys, please listen to me," Roman was on the verge of tears.

"Yeah, Virge. I'm sure there's an explanation here that we aren't seeing. Roman, you still love us, right?"

Roman couldn’t help it. He balked and that sealed his fate. The moment Patton's heart broke was embedded in his memory, unlike the disappearing soul marks.

That was a week ago. And here he was, riding the bus to rehearsal as though his emotions weren't in shambles, one chance left to find happiness.

"Excuse me, sir? May I see your soul mark?" Roman turned to the unfamiliar voice and saw the hottest man he'd ever met giving him a difficult to decipher look.

Roman already had names picked out for the dogs they would adopt together.

"Ah, sure," Roman held out his arm and the stranger leaned down to inspect it. After a moment he pulled the sleeve of his jacket up and held up an arm with three familiar marks up to Roman's, "it's you! The brain…"

The stranger cleared his throat and pushed his sleeve back down, "yes. It appears we are soulmates. My name is Logan Crawford. What is yours?"

"Roman Prince," Roman replied breathlessly. He felt like he was on cloud nine and had his final chance.

"Well, Roman, I suppose you'll want to be in contact. Although, I must warn you that I am a disappointing soulmate and refuse date," Logan had pulled out his phone and was handing it to Roman.

"What do you mean 'disappointing'?" Roman frowned more in confusion than any negative feeling for Logan.

"I suppose you'll find out anyway. I am romance-repulsed. Even as one of my soulmates I won't date you or the others. Most everyone tells me that I will be a disappointment for you three but frankly, I know my boundaries and refuse to change them."

Roman stared at his final soulmate. He hadn't expected this. He took the offered phone and plugged in his number, taking a quick selfie for the contact photo.

"Well then, Logan, let's agree to just talk. Have you met Patton or Virgil?" Roman was met with an indifferent look that lacked any recognition.

"No, I have not. Have you?"

"Yes and I don't think you'd like them…" Roman said bitterly.

"Do you think I dislike you, Roman?" Logan said with the most emotion Roman had heard from him yet.

"No, I didn't mean that," Roman stammered, "I- I just meant that they're… very romantic. And I thought I had 'hopeless romantic' cornered!" Roman laughed to hide his discomfort.

"Wait, but you only had one soul mark. How did you meet them?" Logan asked with curiosity.

"My stop is coming up, perhaps we save the tragic backstory for another time?" Roman grinned as the bus rolled to a stop a block from the theater, "call me!" He rushed off the bus before Logan could respond, bewildered by the chance meeting with the handsome stranger.

Over the next few weeks, Roman and Logan texted and met up for coffee a few times. Roman was terrified of pushing things too fast and watched the soul mark on his arm constantly for any sign that it was fading. Logan never asked about the other two soulmates so Roman decided to not talk about them. He was still hurt but they had to be happier without him.

"So, Roman, you never told me the tragic story of how you met Patton and Virgil," Roman nearly spit out his tea.

"Do you really want to know, dear?" Logan bristled at the nickname but nodded.

"Well," Roman recounted the events of how they met and started seeing each other almost casually. He slowed down as he got to the part where the soul marks started fading. Logan encouraged him to continue but he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.

"Roman, did they hurt you?"

Roman shook his head no, not meeting Logan’s eyes.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Logan asked gently, resting his hand on Roman’s across the cafe table. Roman felt a metaphorical shock at the physical contact. He wanted a romantic connection with Logan so badly sometimes that the other’s staunch refusal to date felt like an arrow to the heart.

"My soul marks disappeared," Roman whispered, "and I couldn't promise them I was still in love, so they left."

"Disappeared? How unusual. Did they match before disappearing?" Roman looked up, surprised by the reaction. Logan just opened a new tab on his laptop and started searching a few keywords, "what? You know I don't care for sentiment. But soul marks that aren't permanent is a fascinating concept. And you say you fell out of love when the marks disappeared? Was it sudden overnight?"

"N-no… actually the marks- and the feelings- faded over time. About a week, really," Roman sighed, "actually, Logan I need to confess-" Roman pulled up the sleeve of his jacket to reveal his last soul mark, "-yours started fading a few days ago. The colors aren't as saturated as before."

Logan looked down at the mark, "and how do you feel about me? Regardless of my stance on the matter."

Roman sucked in a long breath, "I…. Honestly, I've been in love with you from that day on the bus. But I respect your boundaries and I wasn’t going to push it and as we have been talking and getting to know each other, I really value you as a friend as well. I'm still a little hopelessly over the moon about you but it's not like when we first met."

"Fascinating, it seems the intensity of your soul mark is directly proportionate to your capacity for romantic attraction. One moment," Logan turned back to the laptop and after a moment turned the screen to face Roman, "does this sound like you?"

The word and definition almost popped off the screen at Roman. Frayromantic - an aromantic spectrum identity where one feels an intense romantic attraction to strangers that fades as they get to know the person

"Yes…" Roman took a sip of tea to try and calm his swirling thoughts.

Logan turned the laptop back around and did another search. He read for a moment before reading aloud from the screen, "other frayromantics have experienced fading soul marks. Some say that the marks came back after they realized and recognized their identity or came to terms with their soulmate about it. Others never had the marks come back naturally but rather decided to get them recreated. Or they decided they didn't want the marks and carried on markless, with or without their soulmate."

"So I'm not broken, it's happened before? The marks could come back? It's not wrong to not love my soulmates romantically?" The questions spilled from Roman’s mouth before he could stop them.

"I'd actually prefer if you would hurry up and get over your crush on me, thanks," Logan said with a smirk.

Roman held back a snort of laughter. He was feeling immeasurably better.

Roman was glad he had kept Patton's phone number. After discussing it with Logan, he decided to reach back out, hoping Patton would be understanding and could encourage Virgil to be as well.

The phone rang and rang. Roman started to sweat. Logan was preoccupied with personal research but he offered a comforting hand on Roman’s shoulder. Roman was glad for his friend's support, the soul mark a faint but distinct outline anymore. It had never fully disappeared even as Roman’s crush had evaporated.

Roman was ready to give up when the line connected, "Roman?"

"Patton! Oh, thank the stars you picked up. Do you have time to talk? If not now, maybe we can meet up?" Roman grinned happily.

"Why? I thought we weren't… " Patton trailed off.

"Pat, two things. One, I figured out why the soul marks faded. Two, I found Logan. We can all know each other and work things out because despite what Virgil said, we are soulmates," Roman waited with bated breath for the response.

"Hold on a second- Virgil!" Patton pulled the phone away from his mouth as he called out. Logan squeezed Roman’s shoulder to comfort him.

"Yeah, Pops? What's up?" From what Roman could hear it sounded like Virgil had just woken up, at 3 in the afternoon. What followed was a muffled conversation from which Roman could only pick out a few words.

"Okay, Roman. Can you and Logan meet us for dinner tonight?" Patton asked brightly.

"Logan, how does dinner tonight sound?" Roman grinned as Logan nodded, "sounds great, Pat. Where do you want to meet?"

"You two should come on over here about 7, alright? Awesome, see you soon!" Patton ended the call, mind already bustling with plans to get ready for dinner.

"Roman, please don't try to speak for me tonight," Logan smiled nervously as Roman parked the car.

"Of course not. I know you can handle yourself," Roman replied.

"Yes, I just worry that you're going to try too hard to be what Patton and Virgil want, not who you are. I like you and respect you for who you are and they will too if they're smart. But in the all too likely case that you can't help trying to be a people pleaser, at least let me establish my own boundaries."

Roman gasped, "do you have so little faith in me?"

"Yes," Logan grinned and stepped out of the car. Roman started chuckling and both were smiling as the front door of the apartment duplex opened.

"Roman. And I guess that makes you Logan. Come on in, I guess," Virgil was as dour as ever as he showed them to the living room, "Patton says dinner should be ready in a few minutes so make yourselves at home."

"Virgil, it's so good to see you! I've missed your pale, crabby face," Roman grinned although Virgil did not seem amused.

Logan held out his hand, "it's nice to meet you, Virgil."

Virgil stared at the offered hand and poked it with his finger, "Nice to meet you too, Logan."

"Are they here? V, why didn't you tell me?" Patton came bustling from the kitchen and immediately wrapped Roman in a tight hug, "oh it's been too long! How ya doing, Prince?"

Roman grinned and hugged Patton back, "better now, that's for sure."

"Ah, and you must be Logan, come on in buddy!" Patton turned to offer Logan a hug.

"No, thank you. I'd rather not," Logan tried to wave Patton off.

"You sure?" Logan nodded, "Okay, dinner is almost done and we've got so much to talk about!"

Roman helped Virgil set the table while Logan followed Patton into the kitchen to help with the final preparations.

The conversation was light as they ate until Virgil asked the question no one else was bringing up.

"So Princey, why did the soul marks disappear?"

Roman took a deep breath. He could feel Logan’s hand on his knee under the table and was grateful for his soulmate’s support once again. "Virgil, Patton, I have discovered that I am frayromantic. I know that word doesn't make sense, but hear me out," he proceeded to explain, talking about how he had truly loved them when they met, and still wanted to care about them now. He even showed them the faded soul mark that matched Logan’s, explaining that it never faded completely because they had come to an understanding with each other about their relationship. He didn't bring up that the soul marks could come back, not wanting to give them undue hope or misguided ideas about his emotions. By the time he was done explaining, Patton was smiling with tears in his eyes and Virgil was nodding.

"Mark or not, I still want you in my life," Patton sniffed and reached across the table to take Roman’s hand, "we can work out the particulars later."

"Ah, Roman, I'm sorry. I was wrong to accuse you and I can't imagine how much that must have hurt you," Virgil spoke just above a whisper.

Roman nodded, "thank you, Virgil. I'll consider forgiving you."

"That's fair-"

"Consider it done!"

"Oh- kay thank you," Virgil chuckled.

"So Logan, why is tonight the first time we're meeting you?" Patton smiled at the stoic man.

"Simply put, I wasn’t seeking out my soulmates. I happened upon Roman by chance. I want to make it clear that I am not interested in dating any of you," Logan spoke with confidence. Roman was proud of him, returning the comforting hand on his knee gesture.

"Wait you two aren't dating?" Patton asked, confused.

"No. We are not dating. I am aromantic and romance-repulsed. I want nothing to do with mushy, complicated romantic emotions. However, and I hope Roman doesn't mind me saying this, I do consider him my best friend," Logan coughed, "and I actually wanted to talk with you later about a platonic partnership," Roman was surprised to hear this but more surprised by the blush on Logan's cheeks.

"Yeah, we can talk about that later, Lo. I definitely think you're my best friend as well."

"Wow, so… being soulmates isn't going to be easy for any of us," Virgil murmured.

"But we'll all work it out together!" Patton finished the sentiment, clasping his boyfriend's hand in his and smiling at the two soulmates across the table.

The soul marks that had faded completely never came back on their own. After a few years together, Roman decided to get them tattooed back on, asking the artist to match the intensity to Logan’s mark. The three faint marks helped reassure Roman that he was who he was and that he didn't need to change that to love his soulmates just as much as he could.

[blindedbythedarkness]

Josh,

Sometimes it's really fucking difficult to not believe that the universe is personally biased against me. And I know that's kind of rich coming from the one of us that didn't get driven to suicide. But I just, I know you of all people would understand. I wish I had you to really talk to right now.

I'm gonna ramble because I just need someone to listen. But where to fucking start? Life right now is just spinning plates. On one day this week I found out a critical hospital referral I was relying on had never been made; I was rejected by yet another landlord for a house next year that I'd really been betting on; my supervisor met with and bullied me for a solid two hours and my one social event of the week got cancelled. So, that's about when it all started to get too much.

The doctor I've been seeing has been incompetent from the start and made so much work for me in the 6 months I've been in her care. Despite diagnosing my Potentially Life Threatening connective tissue disease, she never even named it in our appointments, leaving me to discover the true horrors of my body through playing detective with my blood results. Long story short, to be confident that I can go on a treatment for it without bleeding out, I need to see a geneticist. But despite agreeing that I should see one, she's refusing to refer me to one directly. Instead, she's referring me to a pain rehab clinic at a separate hospital and saying they can internally refer me to genetics. The wait on the pain rehab clinic? At least two years. Plus, of course none of this information was forthcoming and required weeks of emailing back and forth. So now I'm angry, anxious and stressed about my health. I want to make a formal complaint but I don't know when I'll find the time.

That wasn't even the worst thing, though. The worst thing was uni reminding me just one last time that it truly doesn't give a shit about its students and why I hate it to its very core. The final piece of work I have left to hand in is a research project that I've been working on all year. However, my supervisor is an utter cunt, and I don't say that lightly. He's incredibly narcissistic and rude for a start. For a presentation I had to do, he forced me to use his own slides without ever looking at mine. He once ended an online meeting because I misspoke when explaining a figure, telling me to call him back when I knew what I was on about because he "never forgets what he sees and doesn't want his brain soiled with incorrect information." Given he never remembers what we've spoken about from one meeting to the next, I call bullshit. Oh and this week? He asked me to explain a figure to him and when he said he didn't understand I asked him if he was looking at my screen share. He said no. I just despair!

To make matters worse, he's never fucking happy with me. He's made me start my work from scratch 3 times now and had a different problem each time. We're rapidly approaching the deadline now, so to get all the work done for the 3rd time I've been working 9am-5pm 6 days a week. Not that he cares. The results don't fit his hypothesis, so I must simply be incompetent. He even once had the audacity to suggest that I "didn't want to do the work" while looking through a 70 page document of my results, because I couldn't explain the findings of a figure I'd made a month ago off the top of my head.

In this weeks meeting, he again gave me an extortionate list of new tasks to do, while berating me at every turn. With a month left submit my thesis and my write up not started, I tried to explain to him that I wouldn't have time to complete the list. He just shrugged and said, "Well I think you should do it." And yes, this man is aware that I have been struggling physically and mentally recently.

I didn't know what else to do to make him listen, so I contacted the course supervisor (who I'd already briefly made aware of my issues with him). She told me to "quit" and "just get on with writing my thesis"... until four hours later after she had spoken to my supervisor and completely changed her mind. She video called me to tell me to do the work and I just broke down. I don't make a habit of ugly sobbing in front of people I've only ever met twice over Microsoft Teams, but this was a particularly bad day.

"Trying to do this work is going to destroy my physical and mental health."

"I can't do this anymore."

"He never listens to me."

"I've been working 6 days a week and it's killing me."

She didn't care. She told me that since my supervisor is an experienced professional, he must know how much he's asking of me and since he insists it's quick and easy stuff, it must be. This man has never done this analysis himself. He doesn't even know how; half the stuff one of his lab workers taught me and the rest I taught myself.

"Chill out" and "calm down" she told me, "do the work and if you have any problems ask John (the lab worker)"

By the time I pressed the leave button, I could barely breathe, let alone talk. I was just choking and sobbing and had snot pouring down my face. I was just so tired. So stressed. So... ignored. I didn't know where I would find the hours in the day, but I started by cancelling the trip to see my parents this weekend. To them I am not a student, and a student with health problems at that. I am simply a machine to use for free research.

I just wanted the stress to give me a break. I just wanted a break. I was genuinely afraid that my heart was going to stop from the stress alone. I didn't know where else to turn. The counseling service put me on a waiting list. My tutor told me to "just keep trying my best". My mentor told me to talk to my course supervisor. My course supervisor told me to work. A was busy revising for an exam the next day and I didn't want to bother him. So, I turned to my unhealthy coping mechanisms instead.

I didn't mean to do it as badly as I did. I just wanted to scratch my skin enough to feel it burn and give me something else to feel instead of the huge mass in my chest. But the scissors were sharper than I thought and when I looked down there were four long cuts that had gone through the skin and fat. I knew immediately I'd fucked up. There was no way those edges were coming together on their own. Honestly, I was just mad I'd given myself something else to do. So, I covered them with gauze and tape and kept on working. Because I needed to work. I needed to get it done. I would deal with going to the hospital later but I couldn't lose these working hours.

Once the blood was dripping from the gauze I finally, begrudgingly, went to the hospital. Honestly? They were surprisingly nice. They were understanding and they listened. I was so worried that they'd think I was some cringy emo kid looking for attention. I honestly felt like a total knob going there, but I didn't have a choice. I never felt judged or like they thought I was wasting their time or that it was all my fault. Of course, I know that it was my fault and I felt like a fool. But I also don't blame myself for becoming so desperate. At one point a doctor came in with a medical student who was visibly shy and embarrassed when examining me. I told her I had a place at medical school, so not to worry as I'd be in her place soon. And again, I was shocked because they didn't once tell me not to go. I thought they were going to say "if you can't cope right now, starting medical school isn't for you!" But they never said anything like that. Instead they were shocked I'd gotten in to such a good uni and seemed incredibly genuine when they wished me well.

Oh, and the wounds? Thankfully I didn't need stitches so I got them pulled together again with steri-strips. And in case you didn't believe me that I didn't intend them to be so bad, I nearly passed out three times after looking at them. So, I truly am a fucking idiot, Josh. Lesson learnt, I suppose. Though I'm still afraid what will happen next time I run out of options.

It's finally the end of the week now, but the universe still hasn't given me a break. My mum called earlier and told me my rabbit will be crossing the rainbow bridge tomorrow as he seems to have had a stroke. I mean, it's a small mercy that he's an old bunny and he's been unwell for a long time, so it's not a shock. But it's still so sad and I'll miss him so much. What really tops it all off is that I was going to see him this weekend until I had to cancel my trip home due to the workload.

Man, I just. Why does shit stuff seem to come so easily to me? It's difficult not to feel personally victimized when shit news after shit news lines up so well. I wish good things came as thick and fast. I hope to fuck my luck changes soon because honestly I'm terrified that it's taking years off my life.

Thanks for listening, Josh,

C

[fearfulkittenwrites]

Zukka Youtuber AU (pt 1)

Youtuber au inspired by @ratatosk-express – Link to the post (https://ratatosk-express.tumblr.com/post/622032956613115904/okay-so-idk-if-youtuber-aus-are-still-a-thing)

Sokka has a channel dedicating to his inventions and other projects, but his live streams are particularly famous for the amazing stories he tell.

Basically everything is the same, except it’s in a modern setting and Sokka is relatively internet famous.

** Hey, just a little heads up, I change some things from the original post, I hope it’s not a problem! **

Sokka tells his audience a lot of stories during his streams. Most of them are from his journey with the avatar, although he occasionally talks about his childhood in the Southern Water Tribe. Many of his fans watch these streams because of them, even if the overwhelming majority believes them to be fake. After he came back and decided to expand his content, Sokka found out he is particularly good at storytelling, and it granted him an audience that didn’t even followed his main channel but appreciated the contents of his lives.

He got annoyed sometimes when he recieved comments that treated his life experiences as a fantasy. His biggest mistake was sharing Yue’s story with his fans; all of the teasing and ‘yeah right’ comments really got to him, but there wasn’t much to be done. It was quite a surreal story, and if they wouldn’t believe him there wasn’t much he could do to prove it. Too many people have already forgotten the old spirits of the moon and the ocean and how crucial they are to water benders, so if they didn’t believe that, they wouldn’t believe Yue’s sacrifice.

They did believe his stories about the Kyoshi Warriors. After all that happened the girls became quite famous, and even if they thought the details were too exagerated and fake (I mean, the avatar was there? And he dated one of the warriors? Please.), it wasn’t impossible, that’s for sure. I mean, he did talk about attending formal events with his boyfriend, so, yeah, why not? The Kyoshi Warriors attend those too, don’t they?

Speaking of his boyfriend, he told them little about him. His audience knew he existed, but he was never seen on camera and there were many stories or commentaries involving him, but he never went too deep into it. When asked about it, he told them his significant other was a private guy, and he himself didn’t feel like there was a huge need to share their romantic lives online. Most people were pretty respectful from that point onwardars, although there are always some exceptions.

More often than not, his quick comments about his daily life involved him, and everyone though they were super sweet, although most of them gave his audience the impression that he was dating a very socially awkward and overly emotional man. They weren’t exactly wrong, they just didn’t have the whole truth; still they always asked Sokka to see them at least once during his lives. One of the most know and loved stories about him had been told in a stream as he built a new house for the turtle ducks’ lake. The last one was getting too old, and he had nothing else to do with his time.

“Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time my boyfriend brought like, eight little turtle ducks home?”

The comment section was filled with negative responses, although some were very panicked.

“Yeah, it’s true. Happened about two weeks after I moved in. They were all babies and their mom got hit by a car? Some jerk was probably speeding and the poor creature died, leaving her children behind. He brought them here because they were too young and he was afraid they’d die if left alone.”

Many comments were praising him for the action, and some were worried about what happened to the little creatures.

“It was kinda of cute but I got a little freaked out about where to put them. Then he told me we have a pond? I swear, this place is so big I could die from starvation after getting lost on my way to the kitchen.”

He laughed. Once again, a lot of comments talking about how full of shit he was flooded the chat.

“I’m serious guys. I’d rather bring him to my tribe, but that’s really not an option, unfortunatly. So I moved here, and I think I only know about 30% of this building even after being here for like, almost a year.”

Someone told him to write a map.

“Hah, yeah, I should probably do that.” He smiled. “Actually, that reminds me of that time me and my friends got stuck in a cave with a bunch of crazy hippies while trying to get to Omashu. We were looking for an earth bending master for Aang. It was wild, the tunnels kept moving so I couldn’t keep a map of the labyrinth, and a badger mole almost ate me.”

The comment section went wild again. Some people were excited because he was finally telling a story, some people were calling bullshit on the moving tunnels... It was chaotic, and Sokka loved that. He was pretty chaotic himself, so this crazy comment section always amused him.

Sokka didn’t care that his stories weren’t believed. He understood that his situation was... unusual. Besides, many stories he told were of public knowledge already, he just set the record straight for most of them, adding unknow details or straight up correcting lies. There was only one thing he couldn’t stand being questioned on; his skills. When he mentioned he once built an armor for Aang’s sky bison, he wasn’t mad when they laughed at the idea that he was the avatar’s friend, no, he was mad when someone commented that he was lying about knowing how to build an armor. After that, he put out a series of videos on his channel in which he forged an armor for himself from scratch, even if he knew he’d never use it (And every single one of them started with a screenshot from said comment).

So his irritation at this moment really shouldn’t be a surprise. After showing off the sword he made for his channel, he told his audience about how he learned all he knew in the art of the sword from Piandao, who told him he had great potential to surpass even him. Of course, the comment section laughed again.

“It’s true!” He exclaimed, exasperated “Why would I lie about something like that? Okay, I see why I would lie about something like that, but really, I’m not lying. I swear!”

The comments still went on.

“Okay, you know what? I’ll prove it.” He got up and moved some furniture around to open enough space for a duel “HEY JERKBENDER,” He yelled from his door “GET IN HERE! AND BRING YOUR SWORDS!”

The audience heard a voice.

“What is it, Sokka? Did something happen?”

“No babe,” They heard Sokka answer, with a much softer tone this time, before planting a kiss to the other’s face “My viewers think I’m lying about being a swordsman, so I need to prove myself.”

“Really?” They heard an unimpressed voice.

“Hey, you’re all about honor, aren’t you? Help me defend mine for once.” Sokka apeared in the picture again, smiling, followed by Zuko, as in the Firelord Zuko. Many jaws were dropped.

“Fine, but I won’t make this easy.” He swung his dual swords.

“Me neither.”

They attacked each other for some time, occasionally getting out of the frame before jumping back in. Sokka eventually tossed an used shirt at Zuko’s face to throw him off. It made him confused, but he didn’t give up so easily.

“Unfair!” He exclaimed, getting up and defending himself from another one of Sokka’s attack “I’ll fire bend if you keep this up.”

“You’re getting me a replacement for anything you burn!” Sokka complained, jumping on his bed for leverage, but Zuko kicked it and he fell with an emasculating yelp. The fire bender had the upper hand now, but Sokka was quick to get up.

Eventually, Sokka managed to disarm Zuko, and used the tip of his sword to lift his chin up.

“You really ought to practice more with the swords.” He said, a smug smile on his face.

“Shut up, you dork.” Zuko answered, a little frustrated from the loss, but mostly proud of his boyfriend’s mastery.

He walked up to his boyfriend, replacing the blade with his fingers.

“Thanks baby. You’re the best.” He leaned in and softly kissed him. Once he tried to step back, he felt Zuko gripping him by the waist, holding him and deepening their kiss.

“I miss you. We barely had any time together this week.” Zuko complained “Go by my room when you’re done, okay?”

“Sure babe.” Sokka smiled, still being held by Zuko “Wait, why don’t you say hello, then I end the transmisson, huh? They’ve been wanting to see you for a while.”

“Really?” Zuko asked, a little amazed and curious.

“Yeah! I think they fell in love with you after I told them about the turtle ducks. But, honestly, who wouldn’t.” Sokka smiled and guided him to the camera “See guys, I told you I’m a...” He turned his face to the screen again “Oh.”

“Oh.” Zuko mimicked, watching as the comments rolled in faster than he could read, all of them some sort of variation of ‘Is that the fucking Firelord?’.

“I-I...” Sokka stuttered “I mean, I’m pretty sure I mentioned his name.”

A comment said ‘Yeah but there are many Zukos in the world’.

“It’s not my fault you don’t believe my stories! I told you I travelled with the avatar, the same avatar who is friends with the Firelord, who happens to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda obvious.”

‘Wait’ Said another comment ‘SO IT’S ALL TRUE???’.

“What do you mean it’s all- Yes it’s all true. Of course it is.” He looked at the comments flooding in and sighed. “Y’know what? I’ll deal with this tomorrow. I love you guys, but I’m a little too tired to do this now. Byeeee!”

With that, he turned the stream off. Zuko had an amused smile on his face.

“What?” Sokka asked.

“Nothing.” He answered “I’m just... I don’t know, when you said they wanted to see me I thought it was because I’m the Firelord and all. But... They didn’t know. They wanted to see me from the dumb stories you tell them about me.” Zuko smiled at the ground “You must’ve painted me in a very kind light, love.”

“I mean... There’s no way I can paint you in a bad light, really.” Sokka placed his hands in Zuko’s waist “You know that, don’t you?” Zuko kept his gaze fixated on the ground “Zuko, baby, you’re a great, kind, brave man. And I’m madly in love with you because of it.”

“I love you too Sokka.” Zuko smiled, but still couldn’t bring himself to look at Sokka. After some time together, Sokka figured it was best to just let him look at wherever, if it made him comfortable. He already had to sustain too much eye contact as fire lord, so when he was in his arms, Sokka just wanted the man to be at ease. Even if that meant he wouldn’t always look him in the eye.

“C’mon,” He squeezed his sides slightly “Take me to your room, my lord, because mine is too messy for the cuddles you deserve.” Sokka teased, getting a small chucke from Zuko as he turned to walk out of his boyfriend’s chaotic room.

“It is impressive how messy your room is, considering our maids clean it everyday.”

“What can I say? It’s one of my many talents.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know that originally Zuko’s supposed to win, but like... In my mind, after all that happened, their skills were pretty much on the same level, and considering that Sokka would have more free time to practice than the Firelord would, well... I think his victory is not all that surprising plus i think his smug smile directed at zuko would be so cute and make him melt af

[ddalphi]

1.0 || Business Deals

Rating: Mature

Genre: Action/Angst

Paring: Jungkook x Reader, Taehyung x Reader, Jimin x Reader

Description: Why would you care that you have three young, fine, and mafia related men wrapped around your finger? It just matters on the choices you make along the way and who you turn into. But its also not like you have family to turn to, the only person you had is the reason you're in this mess.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Alcohol Abuse, Mafia themes, Mentions of Abuse, Mature Themes (that's all for this chapter)

Hey guys, so to be honest I am not really proud of this chapter. I already am writing the second chapter and I feel better about it so hopefully the story and writing will get better as it goes, but please be easy on me >~<

---------

It's not like you intended to hear your father's phone call, he was yelling his business through the whole house.. so that made it basically impossible to ignore his words in the first place.. It was your fault now, though. You we're watching a show in the living room, comfortable under the blanket that kept you warm when you heard your dad's pleas. It started off with simple a simple 'please' but then came in him saying he'd 'do anything' and things like that, so of course it perked your interest.

So you decided to stand up from the couch. You paused the show and then turned on your heel so you were facing the hallway. It wasn't long before you were creeping your way towards your father's office door, standing right next to the cracked opening.. perfectly positioning yourself so that if he turned to the doorway he couldn't see you, but you could however.. see him.

You looked at him slowly, allowing herself to narrow your eyes and examine his face. His skin seemed more red than usual, probably the cause of Alcohol, His eyes were puffy.. lack of sleep or crying. There was a crease in between his eyebrows signalling that he was fairly stressed out.

It's not that you're unfamiliar with that look though.. He was a person who got mad easily, who always resorted on alcohol when ever things didn't go his way. Which was why you had decided to stay with him even after High School. You studied collage courses online and helped out around the house in your free time. You're dad was never to fond of you though, especially after your mother had left the both of you. He always brought up when he was drunk that you had reminded him to much of her and that he wished you would just leave like she did. You couldn't though, something inside of you just wouldn't let you go get a proper education at an actual collage, or to go live life how you want. Instead you found yourself trapped there.

You move out of the way as your dad moves around the room, so that he wouldn't see you. "Please.. anything. I'll do anything just give me more time.." You heard your father beg over the phone, you've never heard him beg so it must've been serious this time.

That begging turned into complete silence and you guessed the person he was talking too had been responding, that made you curious. You leaned to the side a bit so you could peer into the office room, watching your dad's facial expression turn from upset to shocked as well, "What? Her? As like a blackmail? she's not very useful." He said quickly tapping his fingers against his desk as he spoke to the person on the phone.

All of this talk had your own stomach turning, you had no idea what the conversation was about but out of the few sentences you heard, a few guesses could be taken.. all of them were bad. Unless, it was someone finally ending his business. Maybe then he would go and get a real job, that provided real money.. but you doubted that, that was the case so you just had to eavesdrop some more.

"Fine. But once I pay.. Will she be safe??" He asked now annoyed, he seemed upset but you didn't feel like interrupting the call, "That's not a good enough response" He responded once more and then heard the phone click about 30 or more seconds after that and so that was when you decided to walk inside the room and ask him about who that was. "What was that about?" You ask concerned as you made your way to the chair in front of his desk.

Your dad looks up from his phone, his eyes narrowing as soon as he saw you, "Y/N, i have to tell you something.." he spoke out without hesitation. You looked at his body's posture and how it had changed since you first looked at him on the phone call, he seemed more.. sturdy.. you could say.

"Yes?"

He then began to speak, "A few months ago.. I made a deal with a group of men. I had borrowed 300,000,000 won (approx. $250,000) from them to start my business.." he explains to you and you just sigh out. You honestly didn't know how to react. He wasn't even done talking and it already made you get this weird feeling, "Was it a loan shark?! I told you to never ever get involved in that!!" You exclaimed standing up and shaking your head.

"No Y/N. it's much worse. I wish I could explain it to you but i just can't.. Please just trust me, okay?" Of course that was what he was going to say, he never gave the damn full story and it made you upset. You wanted to know everything so you could help him in the best way you could.. because if it was worse than loan sharks, his life could possibly be on the line.

"If you want me to trust you, then tell me what's going on." You spoke out sternly to him, your arms crossing over your chest as you waited for a response but here was the thing about your father though, he gets easily ticked off and normally is always drunk. Right now he only seemed tipsy... which was pretty hard to tell if his whole reaction or response to you talking back would be better or worse.

"I cant." He responds simply which just made you all the more stressed.

"Why?"

"Trust me."

"So basically.. you tell me that you have a huge ass debt after all and these months and you just expect me to trust you and drop it?" You retorted, does he not understand how big of a situation that this could be. And that he could be putting anyone of anything in the house at risk as well. At this point you could tell your dad was annoyed, and just over all pissed off. But he couldn't protect you forever. You were 19 and he barely lets you leave the house.

He needed to tell you what type if deal you just over heard, and how he's going to ever get the money to pay the men back for, and so he did, "Fine. You're going to go into your room back your damn backs and leave with the gentlemen that will arrive at 11pm. Got that? While you're at it make me a damn drink." You couldn't believe your ears, he made a deal to hand you over to some random group of men that could do absolutely.. Anything to you.

"Wait.. you're giving me up? Just like that?" You question and he just nodded in response, "I stayed here to make sure you didn't do anything to yourself, and this is how you thank me?!" you began to raise your voice now. "Y/N." He spoke out to you, matching your volume, "You need to understand why I have to do this. It's for my own good. They thre-" you cut him off from speaking.

"No don't fucking say my name or talk to me. Once those men get here I will tell them myself, I'm not going with them." You tried to hide the pain in your voice but weren't exactly sure how well you did, "You put yourself in this mess, get yourself out of it." You argued before storming right out of the room, slamming the door behind you. You walked down the hallway to your bedroom holding back some tears, as you slowly closed the door and locked it.

-

Your eyes were glued to yourself in the mirror. It's been an hour or two since everything happened and time went by quickly. You steal a quick glance from your phone and look at the time. 11:05. The 'men' he said were coming still failed go show. 5 Minutes past or not, it gave her hope.

Sliding your phone away from your body, you just looked back to the mirror attached to the black vanity that sat in your room. Not knowing what to do, or say. Your dad had just tried to give you up to some.. bad people and now you had to try and get yourself out of the situation.

You looked a mess, your hair tied up in a messy bun and your eyes were now red from crying. You weren't crying over your dad but just that he would give you up so easily. You sigh and just stand up, rubbing your eyes after you had finally got enough courage to walk to the door, unlock it, and leave the room. You look down the hallway and was lucky to find that your dad had also locked himself in his bedroom.. more than likely with alcohol.

You decided to make your way down the hallway and to the kitchen, hearing your stomach growl along the way. Food was always a good way to cheer you up too. A nice warm cup of spicy ramen, maybe? Or some of those even spicier rice cakes. You finally reach the room of goodness and decided to have some of both.

While you were making your food you heard your phone ring from your room, causing you to rush ti answer it and then back to the kitchen. You looked at the number and sigh in relief as you read the name 'Jooheon✔' before answering it while pulling out the rice cakes from the microwave "Hello?" You asked slightly confused on why he called you

"Hey Uh- Y/N- I was just wanting to make sure everything's good, we haven't really talk much since high school." His voice sounds so soothing over the phone, Jooheon was a good friend of yours in highschool, infact he tried to ask you out sophomore year, you rejected him though because your had would kill if he found out you had a male other than ones ye approves if in your life.

Jooheonie! It has been a while~ How are you these days??" You ask picking out a pair of chopsticks and slowly beginning to stuff your face with noodles as he replied to your question, "I've been decent. Caught up in some.. personal stuff, just the usual." he chuckled into the phone. He was a good person although towards the end of senior year is when you two began to separate because of how he began to act and be on edge all of the time.

You finished chewing and swallowing the noodles before responding, "Sorry- I'm stuffing my face right now" you giggle into the mic. You hear one back and honestly, you missed his laugh. You would of said yes to him a long time ago if your dad was less strict but that wouldn't ever happen. "You're good.. what's new with you??"

At that point you realized he still sounded off, his tone of voice was more serious but maybe he just matured, so you decided to drop it and just continued the conversation, "My dad has been stressing me out to be honest." you admit to him, now putting a rice cake into your mouth, "Has he hurt you?" He said a bit darker now which made you sigh, "I'm fine Jooheonie. We should me-" That's when you heard the knock at the door of your home. "Actually I have to go, call you back. promise." you said before hanging up the phone so he couldn't respond.

You slowly moved away from the counter and made your way towards the door as the knocking got louder and more persistent, hinting at the fact that the person on the other side of the door was there for a good reason. "Hello??" you asked once you were right at the front door, the door had a glass that was blurred so you could only see the obvious features like his gender, and height.

"Open the door." Was all that the male responded raspy with, he didn't looked armed so you slowly opened the door to face the person who sounded pissed. "Ah.. You must be Y/N." He said looking up and down at your figure which made you feel uncomfortable.

The male was decently tall around 6 foot if not bigger. He had blonde, fluffy hair with an undercut all around his head. His brown eyes shaped like crescent moons, his nose pointed and extremely boop-able. His lips where slightly thick on both top and bottom lips.. But he seemed all serious which instantly gave off a bad vibe for her, especially since her father had just told her that she was giving him up.

"Excuse me? I don't think I know you.." You quickly responded, your voice sounded smaller than what it normally is with the male in the room. You watched as he took a step closer to you, so in response you took another step or two back so that you were out of arms reach.

The male chuckled as he looked back at the door "Hurry up!" he yelled and soon after another guy was walking into your house, this person was shorter than the first guy. His eyes were feline like, one having a monolid and the other not, his lips where plump and his nose had a small mole on it. His hair was also dyed redish but looked soft and well taken care of.

"I'm here, boss." You heard the red head talk while looking at you up and down, "this is her? she's perfect" he chuckles sarcastically before beginning to walk around and look at the place, making sure no one else was there.

"Where's your father.. Mr. Lee?" The 'boss' spoke out again, making you let out a deep breath, "He's in his room drinking his life away. Why?" You asked a question back but then was ignored as the tall male made his way down your hallway, without permission to even enter your home. Who did he think he was?

"Hey!" You exclaimed out which made both men stop in their tracks, you take that time to quickly speak while you had their attention "I know who you guys are. You threatened my dad over money." you say which caused the redhead to turn and look at you, "Yeah, and you know what he did? Gave you up to us. You belong to BTS now, your life at our mercy." he snarled.

You just look at your feet, your fist clenching as you shook your head "I'm not going with you. My dad doesn't have the right to give me away like property, and you don't have the right to take him." You stood your ground the best you could but it didn't last long before someone grabbed your wrist "Feisty one, eh?" You heard a low growl right next to your ear and you turn your head to see another male who had dead ass just come out of nowhere.You couldn't really see this guys face though, he had a pitch black face mask on and his hair was in his eyes, along with a hoodie over his head. This guy looked the sketchier than any of them. But you began to get nervous now. Three people was way different than two, six hands were way more than four.

You look down and sighed defeated, pulling your wrist away from the male who had grabbed your wrist since his grip wasn't to tight. "Who the fuck even are you guys?" you growled because you had never heard of 'BTS' or whatever the hell that was. The boss laughed running his hand through his hair. "Oh, we're just some of the deadliest men you'll ever meet."

~·~·~·~·~

If you want to be included in the tag list just comment below 💕

[schrijverr]

What could have been and what can be

Not every universe had a God rooting for them and not every universe is kind enough to return a fallen angel to the person, who loves him most. Our Team Free Will sees this firsthand when alternate Dean meets their Castiel.

15x13 Destiny’s Child CODA

On AO3.

Ships: Destiel

Warning: Alternate Cas is dead

~~~~~~~~~~

Their alternate selfs were not at all like they expected themselves to be. They were rich, they didn’t like beer, they didn’t have an Impala and they loved John, a John who was still alive. You could say they were the opposite of them. They also never mentioned any of their other friends, no alternate Bobby, no Charlie, no Kevin, no Jody, no Garth and no Cas. It might be naive with the other alternate dimensions they had seen, but they just assumed that these Sam and Dean weren’t as well befriended or just didn’t know the alternate versions of their friends, if they existed at all.

This line of reasoning made alternate Deans reaction to Cas so surprising.

They had just explained their situation to their counterparts when Castiel came into the room to inform them that Jack was packing the last of their stuff and they would be able to leave soon. The moment he rounded the corner, Deans eyes got wide and he shot up and when Castiel had reached the top of the stairs alternate Dean was right in front of him. He cupped Castiels cheeks with his hands and breathed: “Is it really you, Castiel?”

Castiel frowned as he cocked his head to the side and answered: “Yes, it is me, Dean.”

The moment he spoke, alternate Dean started crying and pulled him close to his chest as he sobbed. Sam and Dean shot alternate Sam a questioning look, but he only gave them a sorrowful smile back that didn’t answer much, but told them so much.

Meanwhile, Castiel had no clue how to reach to this Dean. His Dean wasn’t one for showing emotions and if he did it usually was nothing more then a few tears or an angry outburst. Castiel had no experience in comforting his friend in such a manner, but he did know how to hug and he was also familiar with Dean clinging to him. It reminded him of Purgatory. So, he hugged back awkwardly and looked at his own Dean with distress in the hope he would come and save him from this situation.

Luckily, Dean could read him very well, so he rushed forward and started to gently pull other Dean off Cas while he said: “That’s enough, buddy. Lets sit down for a second, okay? We’re going to sit and you’re going to tell us what got you so upset all of a sudden.”

They got alternate Dean settled on the table and Dean was about to back off and let himself be. (Wow, that was a weird thought). When the other Dean clung to him and said: “You may be poor, but know how much luckier you are than I.”

Dean pried his fingers out of his shirt and said: “Yeah, lets start with that. Why are you all weeping over Cas?”

Alternate Dean looked down and sniffled again. He looked up to meet Deans eyes and said: “I wasn’t lucky enough to see my Castiel live. He died and there was no God, who answered my prayers and no one willing to make a deal, no matter the price I offered. The love of my life died and stayed dead.”

Dean chocked on his spit and sputtered out: “Love of your life?”

For a second it was silent. The sound of nothing deafening the room.

It was Sam, who broke it and asked his alternate self: “Your Dean and Cas were together?”

Sam gave him a look and replied: “Yours weren’t? With the way they looked at each other on their wedding day, you think they’d be destined to be together no matter the situation. Or in this case, universe.”

Dean seemed to get back online as he spluttered: “Wedding day?”

Alternate Dean got a dreamy look on his face and he said: “Yes, it was magical. Cas was dressed in pure white and he was just, so, so beautiful. We got married in the small church in Lawrence Kansas and everyone was there. We had pie instead of a wedding cake. It honestly was the best day of my life.”

He sounded so wistful and heartbroken that everyone in the room needed a second to work around the lump in their throat. Sam carefully asked: “How did he die?”

“It was stupid.” Dean sighed, “And my fault too. I wanted to go on a solo hunt, for old time sake. Just us two, but it was a trap. Word got out, someone it the Corps told on us, we never figured out who. Instead of a vampire nest it were rogue angels, who had it out for us. We almost had it handled, but I was careless, I didn’t see one of them coming.” tears welled up in his eyes again and he went on with a tight voice, “He, he took the blade for me. He died, he died while giving me one last smile.”

The whole room was shocked, it seemed like even alternate Sam had never heard the story. Castiel quietly sat down next to alternate Dean and let him cry into his chest, while Cas shared a helpless look with his own Dean. Dean was trying to imagine how that must have felt like for his counterpart, to loose the one he loved most. It might even be worse than loosing Sam, but he soon found that he didn’t have to imagine loosing Sam to try and relate to alternate Deans pain, just thinking of Cas was enough. He remembered all the times he lost him and how awful that had been and how scared and alone he had felt. To have that be permanent was a terrible idea. He finally said: “I’m sorry that happened to you. That must have been terrible, I almost can’t even imagine that pain. We have some picture books of all of us, you can look through those, while we’re out and we’ll be back before you know it.”

Alternate Deans head shot up and he clung tighter to Cas as he exclaimed: “No, you can’t go. You can’t leave me again.”

“We have to. There are lives on the line and I mean a lot of lives, so you’re gonna have to push your feelings aside for a moment and man up while we’re gone.” Dean said.

Sam sighed to himself. Dean had always been good at pushing his own needs and emotions aside for other peoples and it seemed like alternate him was no exception. He normally would push Dean to open up and especially about Castiel. (He had eyes, thank you very much, he could see how those two idiots had looked at each other for years). But Dean was right, there were bigger forces at play here and they couldn’t afford to let this opportunity slip. If he wanted to get on with the plan, however, he would have to interfere. So he said: “Why don’t you two stay here for a second and we’ll talk about it over there for a moment, okay.”

They could agree to that at least and soon they were out of earshot whispering to each other. Dean said: “I feel for the guy, really I do, but we have lives to save. Don’t tell me you’re picking his side, Sammy.”

“I’m not, Dean.” Sam told him, “But we need to find a way to make sure he sticks to the plan and right now, he isn’t in the head space to do so.”

“Well, what do you suggest then?” Dean shot back.

Before Sam could answer, Castiel said: “I could make them both forget me. We can go on with the plan and he looses his pain.”

Dean thought about for a second, pursing his lips, then he nodded and said: “Sounds good to me, lets go.”

Then he turned around and walked away. Castiel shot Sam a glance and when he gave him a resigned nod the angel trailed after Dean back to the other pair of brothers to erase their memory. Sam let his shoulders sag, he knew there was a lot Dean would rather forget and he probably saw this as a mercy, but he knew that good memories were worth the pain. Thinking of Jess hurt even after all these years, but her smile still turned up in his best dreams. He hated that he had to make these kind of decisions for the greater good, but for now there was nothing he could do, they had an Occultum to find, whatever or wherever that might be.

The car ride was strained and Dean and Cas barely dared to look at one another. Sam had expected this, but he felt bad for Jack, who had no clue what had happened between the two. Sam tried to signal with his eyes that he should let it be and he was grateful when the kid seemed to get the hint. There had been a lot of teasing and references to the relationship between Dean and Cas throughout the years, but none so unavoidable as this one. They would have to talk to get over this, something they had never been good at.

They parked the car Sam ushered Jack along to the back, leaving the two with a second for themselves. There were a couple of awkward seconds, before Castiel said: “You are not the alternate version of you, Dean. If what he told you bothers you then you do not have to listen. His universe isn’t this one and you are not the same person as he is.”

Dean nodded a bit to himself and swallowed as he tried to gather the courage to tell Cas something that had always been there, but couldn’t be avoided now. He asked softly: “What if we are the same? What if we are, but I can’t? Not now.”

The look of confusion Castiel gave him immersed him in familiarity and safety. Castiel asked him, a hint of hope present in his voice: “What do you mean with that, Dean?”

He was already going and he didn’t see the point in backing out now, so Dean said: “What if I feel the same about you as my alternate self does, but I can’t allow myself to have this new thing, a wonderful thing, because it will be a distraction we cannot use right now?”

He finally met Castiels eyes and the warmth that was in them calmed his heart so much he wondered why it had ever been racing. Castiel answered: “Well, then I’ll say that it was okay and that I would love to hear more and explore us when this whole mess with God is behind us.”

Dean gave him a shy smile back and gave him a quick hug, before clambering out the car as to not rouse suspicion with Sam and Jack. Castiel followed suit to the doors of the church, in the distance the Empty rumbled, angry that it could not take Cas yet, not while he was still so important. But that was far away and for now, they had work to do and a promise to live for.

[7-wonders]

As the World Falls Down

Summary: You’ve stood by Duncan through thick and thin, but when the true intention of the app he’s been developing is revealed, everything crashes down around you.

Word Count: 2253

A/N: Wow, lots of angst in this one. Hope you enjoy; feedback is always appreciated, whether it be in the form of comments or asks. If you feel so inclined, I would love if you would leave a like or reblog this. Thank you for taking the time to read!

///////////////////

Everything about the fateful day, that you will soon come to know as the day that everything changed, is just...odd. Not good, not bad, but odd. For starters, Duncan’s actually home when you wake up this morning. His arms are still wrapped tightly around you when your eyes open, and he’s placing soft kisses all over your face. You tilt your head up, smiling sleepily at him and gently scratching the stubble on his face.

“You’re still here? Did Washington shut down while I was asleep?” you ask quietly, not willing to disturb the comfortable silence of the morning.

“No, everything’s business as usual, as far as I’m aware.” Glancing at the clock on the wall, you notice that it’s already 9:00 a.m., which is unheard of for Duncan on a weekday. “Just...felt like working from home today.”

“Working from home? Okay, who are you and what have you done with my Duncan?” 

“I thought you would be more excited about this, considering your only classes today are online,” Duncan chuckles, rubbing circles on your upper arm with his thumb.

“No, no, I am, I promise. An unexpected day of having you to myself is a dream come true! I just haven’t known you to ever work from home before.”

That’s especially true with how hard Duncan’s been working on the Shepherd Foundation’s next biggest project, which you’ve started referring to as just ‘the app.’ The app, of course, is meant to be a new analytics app that will replace Politico in terms of tracking candidates and policies. Duncan’s nearly obsessed with getting everything perfect, including providing nearly to-the-second updates on Congressional votes, debates, and any sort of political news. It’s noble, what he’s doing, but you’re a little perplexed as to why this is such a big deal for the company. You had always been under the impression that a corporation’s R & D department was in charge of developing apps, not the person poised to take the helm when his mother steps down (which, most likely, won’t be until she dies).

“The app’s stalled, and I haven’t been focused on anything but that in so long, that I honestly have no clue what to do right now.”

“It’s stalled? Why?”

“Just...some problems with getting it online.” There’s more to the story, you’re sure, but Duncan distracts you by tangling his fingers through your hair and lightly pulling on it in the way that has your eyes fluttering. 

“It’ll all work out,” you reassure him half-heartedly, your voice breathy as you try not to melt from the small gesture.

“You know what would make me feel better?”

“Hmm?”

“If you would join me for a shower.”

“Well, I can’t say no to that.” Duncan picks you up in his arms, making you squeal and grasp onto him tightly. It may be a different start to the day, but it’s one that you don’t mind at all.

The rest of the day follows in much the same way after your thirty-minute shower (followed by fifteen minutes of mopping up all of the water that landed outside of the shower when Duncan had the bright idea to remove the shower head and attempt to get you off with it). Duncan’s extremely hands-on, holding your waist as you make a quick breakfast and making you sit on his lap while you both eat. You’re entrapped in his arms while you both catch up on the news, Duncan with his newspaper and you with your phone. He barely lets you out of his sight, following you around the penthouse apartment like a puppy whenever you get up to complete some task.

The affection that he’s showing you isn’t out of the ordinary, but it is pretty new. After the earth-shattering revelation that he was not his mother’s child, he was extremely lost and broken. He had nearly spiraled, and leaned heavily on you for comfort. You both agree that, were it not for you, Duncan wouldn’t have been able to go on. You were his rock, his reason to keep going even as his entire world changed. He still hadn’t been able to really talk to his mother, freezing every time he so much as looked at her when at the office. Still, he was slowly getting to a place where he could consider eventually sitting down and talking things out with her. 

He couldn’t imagine what would have happened had you not been in his life when he learned the truth about his parentage, and has tried to come up with any possible way to thank you for sticking with him and comforting him. Although you reassured him multiple times that he didn’t have to do anything and that was just what significant others did, you couldn’t stop the sweet little gifts from showing up on the bedside table every few days. Jewelry, books, flowers (oh, the flowers), and any other things that Duncan found that reminded him of you. His other way of thanking you, and your personal favorite way, is expressing how much he loves and appreciates you. 

You’ve picked up on the fact that Duncan’s so-called ‘love language’ is physical touch and words of affirmation throughout your relationship. He thrives when you tell him how much he means to you, and will absolutely bend to your every whim if you cling onto him. So, to have him holding you and telling you that he loves you and how important you are to him, is the norm lately. Today, though, it seems that he can’t go a full half hour without professing his love to you. He refuses to let go of you, always having a hand on some part of your body. He makes sure that you know just how central a figure in his life you are which, while nice to hear, is starting to concern you a bit. 

Is there some bad news that he’s waiting to tell you? Did his meeting with the president go wrong the other day? Although Duncan’s affectionate, this is a little excessive, even for him. It sets you on edge, and he can tell that you’re starting to question what he’s doing by the time dinner finishes and you’re both sitting curled up on the couch, a glass of wine and a glass of whiskey sitting on the elegant coffee table. 

“Is everything alright?” you finally ask, listening to the sounds of a regular D.C. evening outside your window. “You’ve just been...very touch-oriented today, like you did something wrong and you’re trying to make up for it.” The questions hang unspoken in the air: you still love me, right? You wouldn’t cheat on me?

“(Y/N), I would never do anything to harm you, physically or emotionally, and I haven’t.”

“But something is wrong?” You sit up, facing him now. His eyes shift around the room, looking from the kitchen, to the floor, to his alcohol, to you. He won’t, however, look you in the eyes. “Duncan,” you say firmly to spur him into speaking.

“Remember this morning, when I told you that production on the app has stalled?” He waits for you to nod before continuing. “Well, there’s a reason for that.”

“What reason?” Your eyes narrow, heart suddenly thumping in your chest. “Did goddamn Seth fuck something up again, because if he did I swear to God I’m not listening when you tell me that I’m not allowed to beat his sorry-”

“No, it wasn’t Seth’s fault!” Duncan interrupts you, taking your hands in his. “Unfortunately, this time the blame lies solely on me.”

“What did you do?” your voice comes out a mere whisper, and you almost don’t want to know what he’s going to say.

“I--the Foundation is currently under investigation. The authorities believe that the app sources user information, including their location, without the user’s knowledge, in an attempt to sway elections.”

“That’s ridiculous, obviously that’s not true. That’s, like, a huge crime. I’m pretty sure that would be considered treason.” You stand up, Duncan standing with you since he refuses to let go of your hands. “This has to be some sort of attack on you and your family by the president. She’s getting so fucking out of control. I mean, I’ve been a little wary of her recent declarations, but sic-ing the FBI on you just because she’s enemies with your mom is absolutely batshit crazy.”

“(Y/N),” Duncan attempts to get your attention, but you continue your rambling without even looking at him. “(Y/N).” He grabs your chin with his hand, forcing you to look at him.

“You have to do something. Can’t you speak to Usher and have him tell President Underwood that the app would never do that?” Your eyes fill with tears at the thought of Duncan being vilified for this lie that the White House is perpetrating.

“(Y/N),” he sniffs, trying to compose himself before he speaks, “it’s true.”

When Duncan would tell you about the moment his mother confirmed his fears about not truly being a Shepherd, about how it felt as if the very ground shifted underneath him, you hadn’t been able to grasp how that felt. It wasn’t something that you were familiar with and, as far as you were aware, there were no secrets that you would encounter to cause faults in the Earth to move against one another in the way that Duncan had experienced. Now, though, you understand exactly what he means. You gasp loudly, mind refusing to understand what you’ve just been told as your knees buckle. Duncan moves his hands so that he’s gripping your arms, keeping you from collapsing to the ground. The room seems like it’s spinning around you and, although you’ve never experienced an earthquake before, you’re sure that this is what it feels like. 

“You’re lying, you--you wouldn’t do that. Duncan, you couldn’t do that, not when you know the consequences of that shit.”

“I’m so, so sorry, darling.”

“Stop, I don’t--I don’t want to hear this anymore. I don’t care how funny you think this is, this is the worst joke you’ve ever told.” You’re clutching your chest, gasping for air as you start to panic. 

This can’t be happening to him, not after all he’s been through. Out of all of the less-than-legal things Duncan’s done on behalf of his family, there’s no way that any of them would even conspire to commit treason. What will happen if Duncan gets arrested, or goes on trial? It’s too painful to even imagine what will happen if he gets sentenced to prison. You can’t think about life without Duncan. What is life if I can’t live it without the love of it?, you think dimly.

“I wish it was a joke, (Y/N), I really do. Listen, we’ve gotten word that the FBI is possibly going to make arrests. I don’t know if they’re going to arrest me, or what’s going to happen, but I wanted you to hear everything from me before you hear it from the media.”

“Do you realize that you can be put to death if you’re convicted of treason?” you hiss, eyes widening. “Jesus Christ, I don’t understand how this is happe-”

Time seems to slow, while also continuing at the same speed that it has been. You hear a single crash from outside before the front door is busted off of its’ hinges. A strong voice shouts “FBI,” and agents rush into the apartment with guns drawn. You shriek as they swarm the room, yelling at you and Duncan to put your hands in the air. You both comply, Duncan making sure he’s still able to touch your skin by standing close enough to you. His touch comforts you for only a moment, before he’s roughly yanked away from you by an agent.

“Duncan Shepherd, you’re under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason against the United States of America.” Duncan looks shocked, as if he didn’t know that the federal agents would arrest him in his apartment, in front of you. His hands are forced behind his back, and the agent goes to work at roughly clicking a pair of handcuffs on his wrists.

“Duncan--,” you start, taking a step towards him before an agent is holding you back. “Let go of me!” Another agent stands in front of you, preventing you from breaking free and reaching Duncan.

“(Y/N), don’t worry, it’s going to be fine. Do whatever they ask of you, okay? I’ll try and get a hold of you as soon as I can, but just--call my mom, okay? She’ll know what to do.” Duncan’s voice breaks, and you futilely reach out a hand for him as they drag him towards the door. “I love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you too.” Tears blur your vision as Duncan disappears around the door, the agent releasing you when he’s been successfully removed.

You fall to your knees, your body not being able to support your weight right now. The FBI swarms the apartment, collecting anything they deem as evidence and marking off your home as a crime scene. An agent tries to ask you questions, but you just wrap your arms around your knees and pull them to your chest, staring at the ground. The apartment, filled with noise and people, has never felt emptier than it has in this moment as Duncan’s shoved into a police car and driven away from your home.

////////////

Tag List: @khaleesimel @sammyt @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @langdonslove @heda-mikaelson @readsalot73 @jimmlangdon @sebastianshoe @girlycakepops @trimbooohgodplsnoooo @pastel-cloudz @nana15774 @queencocoakimmie @lichellaw @ultragibbycentralworld @grim-adventures58 @dolceandchalamet @dandycandy75 @brieababy @everything-is-awesomesauce @ccodyfern @divinelangdon @wroteclassicaly @lvngdvns @langdonsdemon @trelaney @starwlkers @hexqueensupreme @hecohansen31

[mywrittingwonderland]

Sister in law and in life (Sophia x Shawn)

Hello! Hope you enjoy this :)

Summary: Aaliyah makes company to Sophia before Shawn’s party Word Count: 1,308

~ Part 3 to 21st Shawn Birthday Series

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 

—

"Hi sis!" Aaliyah said, happily entering the hotel room and hugging her brother's girlfriend. "I missed you soooo much Phi."

"Missed you too Liyah" She sad suddenly feeling happier.

"We need to talk... about all that is going on. I know I am very much younger than you, and I know that Shawn loves you and you love him back, but how are you truly feeling about this stuff? Honestly, mom and dad almost killed him when he told her about what would happen. Mendes family is team Sophia always!" She said, making you smile.

"Your parents are lovely, I think we are fine Liyah, I am not going to lie and say it's easy on me because it's so damn hard to this stuff, but I will do it for him. And he promised that once this is over, we will wait a few months and tell the world about us, so stuff like this will never happen again." Sophia explained, Aaliyah already knew that though, she was interested in knowing how Sophia was feeling more than what her brother would do after.

"Yeah, he explained it to us. But how are you? Just tell me the depths of it? I promise I won't tell Shawn any of it, pinky sisters promise," Sophia takes a deep breath before accepting her pinky finger, they were very close. Aaliyah was like her little sister, and she was like Aaliyah's inspiration. Not that Shawn was not inspirational as a brother, but Sophia was just so kind, and so willing to help everyone around. No one could ever measure up to that, not even Shawn.

"Okay... honestly I just wish it was all a horrible nightmare, I am trying to stay strong and everything, but it's hard. And I feel like I am not enough, I don't know. I just want this to be over. And it will be, but just in 2 and a half months. And honestly I am counting the days in my head every time I cry, or I have a bad dream, or I see a photo..." She said, not noticing she was crying until Aaliyah hugged her again.

"I am sorry Phi," She said even though it was not even close to being her fault. "And hey, you are enough. You know he loves you, right?" Sophia nodded and detached herself from the hug. She wiped her tears away standing up and looking at the mirror to see if her waterproof makeup was still okay.

"I love him too... It is just hard to love myself lately," She said, looking at her reflection for a while. "But anyway, let's not be sad today. It's his big day after all," Sophia said, entering the I want everyone I feel happy mode again.

"Right, Okay." Aaliyah went with it, not wanting to upset her friend more. "Show me your dress for tonight!" She suggested it, making Sophia smile and going to her luggage. She pulled out a baby blue tulle dress, the same color as Shaw n's blue guitar. It was beautiful and cute, her style. She didn't really like to have anything to glue in her body, he had some dresses like this, but mostly she loves princesses silhouette dresses. Shawn had teased her so much about her favorite dress style name so many times before, saying that he had to find a prince silhouette tux to go out with her from then on. The dress size was some inches up her knee, and it had pearls all over it. The final touch was a dark blue ribbon that would mark her waist.

"Do you like it?" Sophia asked.

"I love it! It's you cute," She said, smiling at her. "Shawn will love it too I am sure" She added it.

The mention of Shawn, even noticing her dress, made her remember that he would have to be very far away from her the entire night. But she soon shakes her head and smiled back at Aaliyah.

"Why don't you bring your dress here and we get ready together?" Sophia proposed, and Aaliyah nodded promptly.

"I will go get it, just a sec," She said, leaving to get to her room.

Sophia then took a deep breath looking at herself in the mirror again. She looked tired, and even though she had slept the night before she knew that she could just lay down and take a nap if she had time. She had thought about not coming at all for his birthday, and meeting him afterward, but she didn't want him to be sad on his special day. So she came. Like always putting everyone else's happiness in front of hers.

"I am baaaack!" Aaliyah said, taking Sophia out of her own mind, and making her smile while listening to the young Mendes to explain the funny story behind her dress. They soon started to get ready, and Sophia almost forgot all her problems for a while. Aaliyah and she talked for the entire hour while they were getting ready. Liyah made her agree to re-do her makeup, so they could both do each other's and talk during the process. Sophia had no idea how much she missed those times with Aaliyah until they were lost in talking about what they had been doing for the last month. They used to have moments together at least once a week before, but with her going home to London that was not possible. And they hadn't talked in a while, maybe that was Sophia's fault she made sure to be too busy so she wouldn't have time to think or to look photos online.

They were on a full laughing session when Shawn entered the room, smiling at the scene of his sister and his girl having fun together.

" Hello, you." He said, smiling, and they noticed their presence for the first time." I just wanted to talk to you for a while, but I didn't figure you already had a Mendes doing that, I feel replaced" He joked making a pout and a sad face.

" We just got married Shawn, I am sorry! I felt in love with your girlfriend," Aaliyah said, making a serious face, Shawn entered the act and made a shocked face of his own.

" How could you!" He said, trying to make a mad face but giving a small chuckle at the end of his words. Sophia was the first one bursting into a laugh, making the two Mendes do the same.

"Oh my God, I missed this," She said, still smiling.

"Okay, I am going to go now. Before my 21-years old brother kicks me out," Aaliyah said." We can finish catching up later Phi" She gave her a quick hug, and before leaving the room, she turned back to the couple and said:" Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" They both blush at her comment, and with that reaction, she left going to her room.

"Hi," Shawn said now to his girlfriend sitting with her in her bed. "You look so pretty Pretty," he said, making her smile before giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Shouldn't you be heading downstairs already?" She asked him while playing with his fingers that were placed in her lap.

"Nop, I had something to do before," He said, taking his phone out of his pocket and setting it into their song. That being Perfect from Ed Sheeran.

"What are we doing exactly, Mister?" She asked when he stands up and grabbed her hands, making her stand up with him.

"I am having my first dance as a 21-year old with my favorite person on Earth. Do you want to dance with me, Miss?" He asked, putting a kiss on her nose.

"Just make sure to not trip us over Mendes."

[kweebtrash]

Or Nah (M)

Messy Ch. 2

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: drugs, anxiety attacks, night terrors

Features: POV changes, bathroom/rough sex, fingering, blowjobs

Word Count: around 14k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose.

Messy Masterlist  Buy me a Ko-Fi    Other Stories

Lucas Pov

My phone was vibrating against the glass top of the coffee table ripping me out of sleep. The incessant buzzing was driving me crazy especially since my head was still fuzzy from last night. I barely remember getting home...well to Quinn and Eri's place anyway. I groaned and slammed my hand on the table feeling around until my phone was in hand. I squinted an eye open, peeking at the influx of messages that continued to scroll about my screen. I opened the messenger app and read through the dozens of texts. Johnny had added me to the group chat shortly after I met him and Jaehyun during ‘Welcome Weekend’. It was how i had found out about their party and now it was how I found out that Eri had hooked up with Johnny. He was supposedly the “king of of one night stands” and Eri was just another one to be added to his list. Or that was how it would all start out. Clearly, Ten and Yuta had met their match once they started playing with her. I wouldnt be surprised if Johnny started drooling over her too.

There was something about Eri. I still hadn’t quite figured it out myself. She was far from my type-which is why I first got with Quinn. Quinn was soft, small, pale blonde and a little ditzy- perfect. Eri on the other hand was raw, loud, obnoxious, and volatile. Dominant yet bratty, needing to be in control of everything and the first to protect if needed. She always ended up “momming” Quinn and I no matter what. She was also gorgeous in a way I didn't often see back home- tattoos everywhere, her hair a mish mash of colors, her skin deep, rich and intoxicatingly sweet. She had managed to seduce every last one of us. We were putty in her hands. Eri and I were only friends but i would be lying if I failed to admit that there were times where all i thought about was being between her legs for days on end.

I sighed and finally sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I tossed my two cents into the group conversation and yawned deeply. The smell of something cooking caught my attention and i realized I was fucking starving. I looked over at the small kitchen and saw Eri standing in front of the stove in nothing but her underwear and a little ass tank top, looking like i should eat her for breakfast instead. I adjusted myself on the couch and opened my camera, zooming in close to get the best view. I grabbed a pic and sent it to the chat. They would all be jealous of me getting to see this first thing in the morning-afternoon….whatever.. “Babeeeeessss, whatcha making me?”

“I had some pancake mix in the back of the fridge that was still good so there's that. There’s also some left over pizza. Breakfast of champions.”

“You look like a hot little wifey cooking for me. Just saying.”

“You know what you could say? Nothing.” She came towards me with the plate of food. “Here.”

My camera was still open so i faced it towards us under the guise of taking a selfie but i turned my head towards her, just as i hit the button, giving her a kiss. I posted it to the group chat too just to see if i could piss Johnny off. “How's your vag?” I asked Eri as i sent the picture.

“I survived I guess. My thighs still fucking hurt.” I moved my legs so she could sit on the couch beside me.

“Was he better than me?” I asked just out of curiosity.

“Lucas, you know I dont compare anyone. But he didn’t go down on me so he's already losing, just saying.”

I picked up one of the pancakes and shoved it in my mouth. “Fuckin’ pussy.”

“Dont talk with your mouth full. You're gonna choke.” She grabbed her PS4 controller and turned on the console as well as the tv. She flipped through the apps pulling up Netflix. “You wanna watch something? Quinn said they'd be coming home soon but i don't know how true that is.”

“Heard she was at T.Y.’s place.” I replied in between chewing and shoving another pancake in my mouth.

“Yep. Fucking him this time, i guess.”

I swallowed and shrugged. “I'll ask her to take a shower before we fuck.”

“How gentlemanly of you, Lucas.” She scoffed and started typing in the name of whatever show she wanted to watch. I noticed the hickies that were covering her dark skin, blending in with the tattoos on her back and shoulders.

“Damn, he did a number on you.” I said leaning in closer to her and running my fingers along the bruises. She winced a bit and tugged away from me.

“It's fine. I've had worse.”

“Yeah like when Ten accidentally cut you so deep you had to get stitches and Quinn wanted to deck him.”

She inhaled sharply. “Not one of our best moments. I squirmed by accident so I guess it was my fault.”

“Or he could’ve not hurt you.” I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand before kissing her shoulder.

“Eh. Whats the fun in that?”

I kissed up her neck, resisting the urge to bite her and make my marks better than Johnny's. “I make you cum just fine without hurting you.”

“Question.” She said, turning to me. “Do you like choking me?”

“What? Uh...i mean...it gets you off right?”

“Yeah, but do you like it?”

I scratched at the back of my neck. “I mean….”

She sighed. “Nevermind.”

“Aww, Eri, don't be mad. I dont mind doing it for you!”

“It's fine. Im not mad.” She curled up against my chest, wrapping her arm around my waist, and setting her legs on my lap.

I rubbed her thighs slowly, going up and down the length of them and paying extra attention to her hips. “Did you try and get him to do it?”

“Yeah, well sorta. I didnt say it outright but i kinda hinted at it. He pulled his hand away like he didnt want to touch me.”

“Not for nothing Eri but you’re like the only chick who's like ‘CHOKE ME’ during the first fuck. It can be kinda scary and not everyone's into that.”

“Fuckin’ wack is what that is.” She laughed.

“Maybe he'll do it next time.”

“Next time?” She scoffed. “I doubt there’s gonna be a next time.”

“You'd be surprised.” I kissed the top of her head and kept her close, kind of wondering if I should ask her if she wanted to fuck. It was too much work to do anal right now but maybe she'd at least want it slow. I could do that. I slipped my fingers underneath the strap of her tank top moving it down her shoulder.

“Lucas.”

I hated when she said my name like that. It was like i was in trouble with my mom. I kept rubbing small circles on her thigh, pretending like i wasn’t doing anything. “Hmm? What?”

“Cut it out.” She was always much stricter with how much we fucked, unlike Quinn. Eri was picky and everything had to be on her terms, which was why i always got reprimanded. I knew she still couldn’t resist me, especially when i gave her my puppy dog look.

“I swear i'm not doing anything!”

She rolled her eyes and pushed away from me. “Not right now.” She got up from the couch and headed back towards the kitchen. I stuffed the last pancake in my mouth and followed after her.

“Come on! I'll go slow! It wont even hurt. You know i take good care of you.” I chewed faster and swallowed hard before she yelled at me again.

“My thighs are killing me. I don’t even think i have the strength to open them for you to eat me out.”

“Well...you wanna at least suck me off?” She glared at me so hard that I stepped back in case her fist wanted to connect with my stomach. She was always an aggressive lover. “S-sorry…”

“You'd probably taste like pool water and sweat. No thanks.”

“Ok, you can pull one of my numbers and ask me to shower before hand. It's just...you know how i get in the morning, babes.” i pouted at her, starting my puppy dog stare.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know i hate that.”

“Pretty please? Pleaaassseeeeeee.”

She set her little hand on my face, smooshing me away. “I dont have time. I have band practice tonight and it starts soon.”

“Just a quick one i promise!! I'll be done fast!”

She groaned. “Lucas, seriously??” She rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine! FINE! I don’t know how you always convince me.”

“Because you can’t resist me, that's why.” I gave her a quick kiss before running towards the bathroom to shower. Honestly, i should probably bring my shower stuff to their house at some point so I could stop smelling like vanilla, and cookies, and marigolds or whatever they used. I chucked off my shorts, tossing them in the corner where Eri could get them and do the laundry for me later. I grabbed my toothbrush and slapped some toothpaste on it before getting in the shower. I turned it on full blast, preferring a cold shower than the usual depths of hell i had to suffer through when i showered with Eri or Quinn.

“Some random person added me on snapchat! Do you know a DJJ0209?!” i heard her yell at me. I almost choked on my toothbrush. I hoped the running water hid the sound of my laughter.

“Oh...no! I dont! Did you add them?!” i called back out to her before spitting toothpaste down the drain.

I could tell she was responding but i had no idea what it was. It was hard to hear her now with my head fully under the water. Hopefully it wasnt too important. I finished brushing my teeth and moved onto washing my hair, trying to get chlorine smell out of it.

“Did you hear me earlier?” her voice appeared from inside the bathroom.

“No, all i heard was someone random added you on snapchat. Who was it?”

“I have no clue. Probs some weirdo from online. I'm just gonna block it.”

“No,” i tried to keep a straight face even though she couldn’t see me behind the curtain. “Just accept it. I'm sure it's fine.”

“What the hell!? I got another one….wait this one has a little character thing. Kinda looks like Taeil…”

“Just accept them both. Who knows maybe you'll find the love of your life.” I snorted.

“Hmm yes how romantic. Mommy, daddy, How did you meet? Well son, your father sent me a dick pic on snapchat and I was so in love we instantly got married.”

“Aww, you're like a real life Cinderella.”

She hit the shower curtain, trying to get at me. “Shut up, dumbass. I have to leave here by 6, and it's a little after 4:30 now.”

“I'm coming! You wont be late.”

“Mhm.” I could hear her walking back out of the bathroom. I finished rinsing my hair and washed up quickly. I was done in a few minutes, pulling back the shower curtain to see that Eri had left a fresh towel on the toilet. She was seriously the best. I dried off a bit then wrapped the towel around my waist, heading back over to the couch. She was laying on her stomach, feet crossed at her ankles in the air and typing furiously on her phone. I leaned over the back of the couch and trailed my hand over her lower back, watching her tense for a second. She was way warmer than my hands were. I couldn’t help but wish I could play with her a bit before she left.

“You're freezing.” She said as she set her phone beside mine on the coffee table.

“It's too hot. I felt sticky.” i moved around the couch, taking my place beside her again. She scooted closer to me, her hand tugging at the towel and pulling it open.

“Let’s get this over with.” She said.

“Gee, dont sound so enthused.” I rolled my eyes as she giggled at me. In a way i knew she was joking but also she was probably ready to get going to band practice. It was important to her but so was i. She would make time for me. I cupped her face in my hands, pulling her close for a heated kiss while her hand fell between my thighs and groped my cock. I licked her lips before she let me in, my tongue filling up her mouth and making her squirm a bit. I loved the way it felt when we kissed. She was always a tease, hungry yet slow, or fast and harsh. You never knew what you were going to get. Whenever i could get a soft little moan out of her, it would go straight to my cock, making me breathe harder and want to fuck her for hours on end just to coax more out.

I slid my hand down her back, moving down to cup her ass. It was one of my favorite things about her. There was nothing better then seeing how good it looked while i fucked her from behind, better yet when i fucked her ass. I tried pulling her onto my lap but she let out a strained whimper.

“Careful…” She whispered. Ok, note to self, beat the shit out of Johnny next time i saw him for making my Eri so sore. I let go of her ass and opted for her hip again while my other hand slid under her tank top. I was already half hard, giving her some room to start stroking. I opened my legs wider as she rubbed her thumb over my head in slow circles making every nerve feel electrified. I was already wiggling my hips towards her palm, parting my lips to feed a deep groan down her throat. She already knew everything i loved, everything that turned me on, everything that could make me cum. She guided her kisses to my neck, sucking on my jugular just a bit before pressing her lips down my chest.

I relaxed my head back against the couch, my nails digging into the armrest when i felt her lips surrounding me. She eased herself down, little by little, stroking what she couldn't fit in her mouth. Her tongue circled around my head and she popped off it completely to kiss up and down my shaft. Her kisses slipped down to my balls, tongueing them just enough to make me almost lose my cool. I thrusted my hips more as i tried to get her to take me back in. She looked up at me, that same controlling look in her eye.

“You gonna behave?” She asked, raising a brow.

I licked my lips and looked at at her. “Are you?”

She sat up and pulled away from me. “I'll stop right now, Lucas. I swear.”

“No you wont.” I dared.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh really?”

“Mhm.” i moved closer towards her, angling my head for a kiss which I knew she would pull away from. In that instant i grabbed her neck making it disappear in the coverage of my hand. Her whole body relaxed and her face fell into an expression of bliss. Her eyes were practically rolling back in her head as her giddy giggles became strained when i closed my fingers around her tighter. It was scary as all hell to do this and it wasn’t necessarily something I enjoyed but seeing how good it made her feel got me going even more. Over time i got used to it, especially when she'd clench around me and scratch at my back, her body begging me to choke her harder. “Keep sucking, babes. It feels so good when I'm in your mouth.” i swiped my thumb over her full bottom lip, watching as her tongue poked out to lick it.

I let her go then and she eased back down, sucking faster this time. Her cheeks were starting to hollow out dragging more moans out of me. I set my hand on the back of her head, adding just enough pressure to keep her in place. I trailed my other hand down her back, sliding one of my fingers underneath her panties to feel how wet she was. She was trying to squirm away from from me but i let my finger slide slowly up and down her lower lips, rubbing each drop of slick through her folds and around her clit. I shushed her gently, telling her that i just wanted to make her feel good. I loved when she came with me and i was hoping she would swallow if i had her distracted enough.

I made circles on her bundle of nerves with just the tip of my middle finger, finally managing to get a louder moan out of her. The timbre from those cute sounds were enough to make my toes curl. I choked back her name, opting to keep quiet for now so I could concentrate. Her warm hand cupped my balls then, squeezing each one slightly as her thumb pressed into the sensitive points. I was already starting to throb in her tight mouth and it was making my nails dig into her scalp harder. I felt her wiggle her hips, reminding me that my finger was still in her panties. I rocked my finger through her wetness one last time before pushing it in slowly. I let her fuck herself on it as much as she wanted, leaving her to control the pace while i focused on my impending orgasm. “Eri...fuck…” i whispered.

She pulled off in one slow drag, rolling my precum over her tongue. “You know the drill.”

I groaned. “Please, Eri? Please? Just this once? I promise i’ll-”

“No. You know the rules.”

“But Quinn-”

“Then you should've asked Quinn.” she snapped back.

I dodged her glare and nodded in defeat. One day I was going to get her to swallow but for now i guess i had to cum on myself….again. She switched out her mouth with her hand, fisting the head of my cock before sliding down my shaft and giving it a squeeze. Cum was already starting to dribble down her hand as her hold on me tightened and loosened with each stroke. She pressed her chest to mine, bringing my head closer to cover her neck in kisses and miniscule bites. Her nails were digging into shoulder ever so slightly and her angry, commanding tone melted into that dangerously sweet voice.

“Come on, baby boy. Cum for me.” she cooed.

I held onto her then, so fucking tight, trying to bury my scream into her skin. I felt my stomach heat up as i came all over myself, my thigh muscles tensing. I swallowed back, panting against her chest as i worked through the tail end of my high. She kissed the top of my head, running her fingers through my hair, until I regained my composure.

“I gotta get dressed now.” She said, wiping her hand on the towel. I slid my hand out of her panties and groaned as i looked up at her.

“Stay for a bit…”

“I cant, its’ already about to be five. Quinn's gonna be home soon and you should actually get to your dorm sometime soon. You have class tomorrow.”

“Fuck class…”

“If you skip i'm gonna beat your ass.” She slid off the couch and headed to her room. She didn’t bother closing the door as she pulled her tank top over her head and dropped her panties. I had to look away, knowing i would make a bigger mess if i kept staring.

--

Eri's PoV

I shoved open the apartment door, kicking off my boots that were starting to dig into my feet. It felt so good to be home instead of a tiny garage sweating my ass off. I lugged my guitar and amp back to my room trying to ignore the loud moans coming from Quinn's room. I set my instrument down in the little sacred corner I set up where it wouldn't be disturbed, making sure to keep my cords wrapped up. Now that I was finally in the semi-peacefulness of my room I could take off the clothes that seemed to be glued to me. I pulled off my shorts, taking my phone out of my back pocket. I hadn’t checked it in hours and i could see the screen full of notifications. One caught my eye in particular. I clicked on the little bell which opened up my snapchat. There was one photo notification from the username i didnt recognize from this afternoon. I was going to scream if it was a dick pic. I dont even know why i thought it was a good idea to listen to Lucas and accept the request.

I braced myself as i clicked on it, waiting for the worse, even closing my eyes a bit. But it wasn’t bad. In fact...it was just Johnny. Johnny?? I gripped my phone tighter, pulling it closer to my face to examine the cute puppy filter on his black and white selfie, a simple caption of ‘hey’ towards the bottom of the screen. I couldn’t help the smile that tugged on my lips. He looked incredibly cute and definitely less like an annoying fuckboy. My heart started beating faster as i realized i should respond to him. I looked like a mess and i had no idea what i should i take a picture of. My room wasn't that clean, my face was meh at best and it was way too early for ass pics. I stared into my full length mirror, accessing the damage of my makeup. With my crappy room lighting and the use of a hundred filters I could potentially pull off a worthwhile selfie to send.

I angled my phone from above and mulled through the filters, finding a cute cat one that smoothed out my face to an angelic glow and made me have giant doe eyes. When i was satisfied i snapped the pic and typed in ‘Hey yourself’ as the caption. I expected him to leave me on read for most of the night and moved onto the other notifications i had. There was a text message from Yuta showing off new hot pink rope he had gotten (one of my favorite colors), a text from Taeyong telling me that Quinn had left their vest there (which im sure he texted just to have an excuse to talk to me), and a comment from Ten on my latest instagram selfie i took at practice (when my makeup was not so gross). I went to work answering them making the minutes pass by, keeping my mind off the thought of waiting for Johnny’s response. Thankfully, the waiting was short lived.

It was another picture but this one wasn’t so innocent and cute. His shirt was halfway up his torso, exposing his abs and the trimmed line of hair that trailed below his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his Supreme briefs that were barely covered by his sweatpants. They did no justice in hiding the thick bulge beneath. His caption this time was ‘wyd?’. I stared at the picture so intently that my eyes started to blur a bit. I hadn’t even noticed i was holding my breath until my chest struggled to expand. He was reminding me exactly why i ended up in his bed last night and why i still felt the ache in my thighs.

I wasn't going to snap him back this time. No way. I knew exactly what he was doing- just trying to get me back in his bed. I wasn't going to fall for it. I was going to let him think that i wasn't desperate and let him suffer. I set my phone face down on my bed and pulled off my fishnet stockings and my shirt, tossing them in my hamper. I whipped off my bra and pulled on the tank top i had earlier, returning to my comfy pj state. Flopping onto my mattress, i laid back and reached for the headphones that always resided beside my pillow. They were my prized possession, complete with perfect outside noise cancellation. I opened up my spotify and hit shuffle on one of my favorite albums, sighing contently as Quinn and Lucas’ moaning was finally blocked out. I set my phone on my stomach and closed my eyes. I could use another nap to be honest…

But first…

I opened up my snapchat again succumbing to the victory of being the last one to send a teasing picture. I put the hem of my tank top cheekily between my teeth while i pressed my boobs together, making them fuller and have optimum cleavage. My caption was just a response to his question; ‘nothing much. Hbu?’.

I was too damn weak for him. I knew what the hell was under his sweatpants already but somewhere deep in the back of my mind, no matter how much i tried to ignore it, i had been thinking about the way he felt inside me. The dull ache, his long fingers, every bite of his perfect teeth on my skin, the small growls that made every one of my hairs stand on end. I thought there wouldnt be a next time- That i would just have to chalk him up to another one night stand- but now i knew he was interested in something a little more and i could play my favorite game of cat and mouse.

I set my phone back on my stomach opting to focus on the music. My nails drummed against my phone case following the beat of the heavy bass. It felt like an internal clock was ticking, reminding me like an annoying little devil that I was desperate for a response. Minutes turned into a half hour, a half hour turned into  an hour. I gave up on my ability to wait when Lucas banged on my door, loud enough to shake me from half asleep stupor. He was asking me to drive him back to his dorm. I didn’t bother putting my shorts back on. Instead i trudged to the front door in just my panties, sliding on my flipflops as we made our way out to the parking lot. The both of us were yawning as we got into my car, the passenger seat was still all the way back from when he got in three days ago.

“Had fun?” I asked. I could tell he was getting drained. Having sex non stop was going to run him right into the ground. He and Quinn were always hot messes like that. And I got called the stuck up one because my relationships were slightly more calculated.

“Yeah…” He grumbled.

“How many you'd get out?”

“2...Quinn got 5.”

“Oh boy. Let me guess, you didnt eat since I fed you either, right?” He didn't answer. I sighed and took a right turn away from the dorms and towards the strip of fast food places downtown.

“Where you going?”

“To get you food.” I flicked him in the temple, making him wince. “You need to eat and stop thinking with your dick so much.”

“Yes, Eri.” He sighed as set his head on his open faced palm, staring out the window. I pulled into a Taco Bell, rubbing his knee to pull him out of his sleepy daze. He gave me his order which seemed to be a whole laundry list of calories and fat. I pulled up to the next window and automatically reached for my debit card only to realize that i had left it at the apartment inside my shorts.

“Fuck.” I whispered.

Lucas dug into his pocket and handed me his card from his wallet. I started to protest but he just gave me a small smile. “I owe you. Dont worry about it. Youre always taking care of me anyway.”

I took his card and handed it over to the employee, waiting for his order. I felt his warm hand slip into mine giving it a little squeeze. “Dont start that gay shit.” I joked. He was always so clingy, loving, and sweet and I...liked to suppress everything I could about my emotions. Somehow he always found a way to bring something caring and nurturing out of me. He was so far from home that within the year or so that Quinn and I had known him, we became his family. Sure we all fucked but it just...kinda worked that way. I could be his best friend and caregiver and we could also connect physically to a point where it was neutral. He knew i would never want a relationship with him and that was for the best.

“Dont lie, Eri. Somewhere between your big tits you have a heart and not some black void like you pretend to have.”

“Excuse you, you leave my black void alone. It's fine just the way it is. I'm going to keep it that way.”

“Admit it. In there you have love for me and Quinn. And probably Johnnnyyyyyyyy~”

“Oh, grow up.” I scoffed. “Besides he's the one who wants it more than i do. It was him who sent me the request this afternoon and he’s already sent me a slutty snap.” i replied, grabbing the bag of food from the worker and handing it over to Lucas.

“Ohhh so that’s who that was? Shocker.”

“Yeah, you knew it was him, you little shit.”

“I’m your wingman, babes. You'll thank me later.”

I pulled out of the drive through and headed back in the direction of his dorm building. “I doubt that but ok. I dont even know if i'm gonna fuck him again.”

“You will.” he replied before shoving a burrito in his mouth. I pulled up to the building shortly after, ignoring his little quip and setting myself in park.

“Here we are, kid.”

He swallowed hard, licking his fingers of cheese sauce. “Can i come over next weekend?”

“I'm gonna be busy with Yuta on Saturday so see what Quinn says.”

“Ugh, fine.” He leaned in close and gave me a soft kiss, holding it for a bit longer than usual. “See you around!” He got out the car, taking his bag of food and backpack with him. I waited until i saw him disappear into the building before taking off. My phoned buzzed from within my cup holder and i wondered if it was Johnny. I waited until i came across a red light before stealing a glance at my phone. My mouth went dry as soon i saw his username on my screen. I wanted to see what he had sent so bad but if it was too good i didnt want it to happen while i was in the car and distracted.

I zoomed down the street, my foot a little bit heavier on the gas pedal than necessary. I was home in a flash, almost drifting into a parking space before taking the steps to my apartment two at a time. I unlocked the door and rushed in, surprised to see Quinn hobbling out of their room.

“Now i know how you feel with Johnny. My thighs are killing me.”

“Speaking of Johnny.” I spat out excitedly. “He added me on snapchat and his last snap to me was him in sweatpants with his dick print all perfect and his abs out and shit. I wanted to die. And now he just sent me another one and since you’re done with Lucas you can see it.”.

“God i hope it's his dick. Will you let me see his dick? I want to see his dick.”

I shrugged and clicked on his notification. “i guess we'll see- holy fucking shit.”

I could barely see his face, only his lips curling into a smirk as his monstrous hand groped at his bulge, giving it a quick shake. God it was so gross yet here i was salivating over it. His caption was ‘thought about how good you felt’. The 10 second clip was gone almost instantly but the view was already ingrained in my mind.

“Well if youre not gonna go over there and fuck him i will.” Quinn said.

“I’d rather you kinda….didn't.” I  looked down at them as a little bit of awkwardness sparked between us.

They pouted and crossed their arms. “You're gonna hog all that to yourself?! That's so unfair!”

“Ok, i know were pretty open about who we fuck because were in the same social circle but we kinda share Yuta and Lucas already! And i'm pretty sure Taeyong is up my ass again too, so that’s three guys! Let me have this ONE.”

“Ugh!! You’re getting soft! Was his dick that good that it went straight to your head and made you loopy?! We’re supposed to use them and leave! That’s it.”

“I know! I mean i usually leave right after when I’m with Ten and Yuta, i dropped Taeyong entirely, and Lucas hangs around here constantly so i can’t do much about that. You're the one that usually kicks him out. I dont know...i just…”

“You like him?!”

“I do not! I just like his dick! And maybe his lips….and his eyes...and his arms. And his tummy is cute too. His butt looks suuuuper good and-”

“You're weak, Eri. Promise me you will only use him for his dick. He's a dumb fuckboy who doesn’t deserve you.” Quinn said.

“I know that! And it’s gonna stay that way. Trust me. I'm not even going to answer him back. I’m tired so i’m heading to bed. I’ve got an early class anyway.”

“Yeah you do that. Between Jae, Taeyong, and Lucas, i’m pooped. I'm gonna stay home tomorrow.”

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes their will to not do anything successful with college was irritating. “Ok well you do that. Just be quiet if you're going to stay up late.” i said as i disappeared into my room and curled up in bed. What i said was partially true; i wasn't going to answer Johnny back. Well not now at least. He made me wait an hour before answering me. I was petty enough to make him wait twice as long for my response. I decided to set a timer as a reminder to get up and take a cute pic of my ass. But first a quick nap would do me good.

--

My alarm shook me out of my sleep, the heavy guitar riff scaring the crap out of me. I felt around for my phone groaning as i lifted my head off my pillow to shut it off. I blinked a few times bringing the time into view. It was 7:30 am. I totally missed my timer to respond back to Johnny and i didn't have time to take something sexy now. There were no other notifications from him either. I only had a few texts from my harem and a good morning selfie from Lucas. Glad he was actually going to class at least.

I forced myself out of bed and started getting ready. Shower, brushing my teeth, getting makeup on my face so i looked semi alive and like i didnt want to throw myself out a window. I picked out a random pair of leggings and a cut up band tee. That would suffice for today. I pulled on my worn out converses and grabbed my backpack, stuffing my headphones and laptop in it. I put some deodorant on and tossed it in my bag as well. I still had a decent amount of time to get to the commuters parking lot and head to the dungeon of journalism buildings. Once i got there, it only took a few minutes to find my classroom. It was a tiny box of a room with barely any air conditioning and older wooden desks. I plopped down in the middle aisle, already feeling my thighs stick to the chair.

Waiting for class to start was a pain. I was hungry and wanted coffee. I would maybe have some time to go to the Starbucks downtown before my next class. I didnt really have Starbucks money to spare but i needed a pick me up. Other students started shuffling in as the 9 o’ clock mark crept closer. Our professor still hadn’t shown up yet. The general consensus was 10 minutes without a teacher and you were free to leave. Please let me leave, i begged silently. If I didn’t cave in and get Starbucks I could sleep in a bit more in one of the quiet rooms in the library. I had some heavy decisions to weigh out within the next five minutes before I was able to book it.

I was watching the time tick on my phone when i saw a notification from snapchat. Oh fuck…It was Johnny. I opened it quickly, covering my phone just in case it was some sort of morning wood pic. I started wondering, just for a moment, if he slept in those sweats or completely naked. When i looked down at the picture it was actually of me sitting at my desk. The caption was ‘Ur not even gonna say hi? Lol’. I straightened up and whipped my head around trying to see where the fuck he was. I saw his smirk from the back right corner of the room, sunglasses over his eyes as he gave me a little head nod and stuck his tongue out. I whipped back around in my seat, trying to hide the blush that splattered across my cheeks.

Of course he would have class with me. Of fucking course. I had no idea what to do. Would this be awkward for us if we kept fucking? I could just ignore him for the entire semester. Pretend that any emotion towards him didn't exist and that we hadn’t fucked. While i was building my exterior facade into a sturdy wall my interior was crumbling with panic. I started furiously texting Quinn, even though i knew they weren't awake, just to get my internal screaming out. How was i supposed to get away from him now?! I had to look at those stupid gorgeous lips and thick thighs every single day of fall semester! All i could do was pray that the professor still didn't show up. My foot was furiously bouncing in anticipation of my freedom and potential to leave Johnny in the dust.

Unfortunately, i didn't get my wish. The professor came in then, huffing, puffing, and way too flustered. I set my head on the table and groaned, barely ready to suffer through the next hour and a half. Every once in awhile it would feel like Johnny was watching me but each time i looked back i was sure he was sleeping behind his sunglasses. He was probably up partying too late last night again. i caught him rubbing his eyes and yawning, looking so soft and sleepy. My lips tugged into a smile, that gooey, sickly sweet feeling returning to my stomach. I needed that to stop. I sighed and looked down at the syllabus that had been passed out. No one actually gave a crap about these. We just needed to know the due dates and what stupid projects we had. Time droned on but luckily we were let out a little early.

I stood up quickly, grabbing my bag and heading straight for the door, not bothering to look back to see if Johnny was on my tail. I got my answer either way when i felt an arm around my shoulders steering me towards the rows of rentable lockers. “So you are definitely ignoring me, right?” I heard him ask.

I groaned internally. “Not necessarily. I mean i couldn't just get up in the middle of class and ride your dick.” I kept myself in front of him, shuffling my weight from one foot to the other and gripping the strap of my backpack tightly.

“Definitely would have been better then going through another fucking syllabus. Like we dont know how to read.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, when’s your next class?”

“Why?” I asked curiously.

He looked around for a second before leaning against the lockers. “Wanna hook up again? I need a quickie.”

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me. “Oh you need one, huh? Damn, didn't think you'd be the needy type Johnny.”

He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. “Let me put it this way then. I want to fuck and you’re the only one that’s here right now. Hows that sound?”

“Sounds like you're still thirsty from when I didn't answer your snap last night.”

“Don't know why you're playing hard to get when you weren’t that hard to get in my bed on Saturday.”

“And you definitely aren't hard to wrap around my finger.” I shot back, glaring at him as our bodies edged closer to each other.

“I’m hardly wrapped around your finger.” His almost hissed as he leaned in.

“You're here wanting to fuck me again, aren't you?” I crossed my arms and smirked up at him, knowing I had bested him in his little shade contest.

He dragged his tongue over his teeth and scoffed.  He looked away for a second, probably trying to recoup his ego. “Look, you want it or nah? I don’t have time to waste”

I got my phone out of my bra and flicked on the screen, pretending to see if I had enough time for him. My next class still wasn’t for another hour and a half. I could squeeze in a quickie. Besides if this perked me up then I could save a few bucks on coffee. I let out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I have some free time. You got a condom?”

He patted his shorts, grabbing his wallet from his back pocket before flipping it open and checking the money pocket. “Yep.”

“I’m not about to fuck you with some old ass condom you’ve had in your wallet since you were like 16.”

“I just put it in there the other day, stupid. Anyway, where you wanna go?”

“Third floor has private bathroom. Normally that floor is pretty empty until later on in the afternoon. Follow me.”

I slipped in front of him, trying my best to make sure he had a view of my ass in the leggings that left little to the imagination. Besides if I lead the way I wouldn’t have to struggle as much to keep up with his long strides. We maneuvered up the stairs, flowing around the clog of students shifting classes. When we got to the third floor it was mostly clear as I had expected but I still looked around to see if anyone would possibly notice us. Johnny didn’t care, however. He sprinted ahead of me, swinging the door open the to single stall. “Come on already. No one’s gonna see.”

I sighed and scurried over to him, bouncing into the room and rushing him to close the door. He rolled his eyes as he set his backpack down and locked the door. “What? You think we’re gonna get in trouble out something? A bathroom isn’t the same as the student affairs office.”

“Shut up, asshole. I just want to be sure no one is going to interrupt us is all. I don’t have time to hear you whining about blue balls or some shit.”

“Whatever, scaredy cat. Let’s get this over with.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it by his backpack.

“Let’s get this over with? You know I can just leave you here to jerk off if that’s how you’re gonna be.”

“Yeah but you wont.” He grabbed the strap of my backpack and forced me close to him, my head almost ramming into his chest. I braced myself against him, about to bombard him with profanities when his hands cupped either side of my face. His head came down to connect our lips and I melted then, hungry to satisfy my addiction that already developed for his sensual kisses. I clung to his waist tight as we melded together. His tongue slipped out to massage my own, sucking it into his mouth to control every aspect of our tangle. He retreated his hands from my face and worked to shove my backpack off and drop it beside us. I had begun to claw at the waistband of his shorts while he grabbed a hold of my hair. His other hand rested on the small of my back, making sure i was crushed against him. My breath was barely able to escape with how close we were and his lips not breaking from mine. I managed to pop open the button of his fly while he moved us backwards, trapping me between his well built frame and the bathroom wall. I pulled away finally, gulping down air that he threatened to take away again.

“You like shoving me against shit, don’t you?” i panted heavily.

He licked his lips, lowering himself even more to kiss at my neck. “I like having you exactly where i want you. Plus, it's hot to see you stand on your tiptoes just to try and kiss me.”

“I'm pretty sure you just like me being short because my mouth is closer to your dick.”

“I mean that too.” He chuckled lowly before wrapping his lips around my collarbone to draw blood to the surface. “We can test that out if you want.”

“If i'm good at giving head?”

He small groan against my shoulder. “Yeah. That.”

“Well…” I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him back, switching our positions to have him pinned to the wall. “I haven't had any complaints yet.” Johnny looked a little surprised, yet excited at the prospect of me sucking him off. His eyes were fixated on me, on my lips, as i trailed passionate kisses down his stomach and nipped at his iliac's crest. In a split second, his shorts were around his ankles and my knees followed them to the ground. I was mostly confident in my ability to pleasure him until a sickening feeling started bubbling in my mind. How the hell he was even remotely going to fit into my mouth? I could barely take him inside me without minutes on end of preparation. Now he expected me to shove him down my throat? I swallowed hard when the outline of his dick trapped in his boxer briefs stared me down.

“You just gonna sit there or-?” he snapped.

I realized he had been waiting for me to start. My heart was thundering already as I tried to conceive of a way to swallow him down comfortably. I sighed internally and just decided to bite the bullet. I rested my hands on his hips kissing the outline of his cock through his underwear. His breath stilled as his eyes closed and his head dipped back ever so slightly. I kissed the head of his cock, sucking gently and tonguing around the thickness. My hands wandered from his hips to his ass, grabbing a hold of his firm cheeks. I heard him let out a small laugh before pulling my hands away, making me pout.

“What's up with you girls and my ass? Ya”ll are always grabbing it.” he said.

“Not for nothing but it’s pretty cute and if you want me to enjoy sucking your dick even more, you should probably let me do it.” I yanked my hands from his and pulled down his underwear swiftly, revealing what made me scared yet lustful. He was rolling his eyes, preparing to retort with another quip when i wrapped my lips fully around his head. He exhaled softly instead, making the easiest of thrusts into my mouth as he started getting hard. My mouth was expanding to accommodate being fuller and I tried swallowing around him, inching my way down gradually. My eyes were already squeezed shut, my chest heaving as i forced myself to breathe through my nose.

The groan that came out of him was definitely a bit louder and deeper than what i heard during our last hookup. It was followed by a much softer ‘keep going’ as his long fingers came to rest on my shoulder. His thumb stroked my jugular, keeping me steady against him. My body relaxed a bit more as i felt the warmth of his hand so close to my neck. I was leaning into him again, wanting to feel the constriction of my air supply. I was able to swallow down more, barely half way but better than what i expected. I worked a hand around his base, giving a small squeeze before starting rhythmic strokes. My fingers met my lips as I flowed between sucking and stroking, trying my best to coax those rumbly groans out of him once more.

His thumb finally pressed into the front of my throat and I could feel the pressure every time i swallowed back. My grip on his ass tightened my nails digging into the muscles and leaving small marks behind. I wrapped a small moan around the tip of his cock as I felt the beginning drops of precum coat my taste buds. He hissed softly as he slipped the condom from his pocket into my hand. “Hurry…”

I smirked, releasing him from my mouth and tearing the foil open. “Still so needy, Johnny~”

He turned his eyes away from me. “Just hurry up and make me cum.”

“Hah, funny. I'm the one who should be cumming before you, asshole.”

“If you earn it.” He guided my hand towards his dick, commanding me to roll the condom on. 

I scoffed, pinching the tip of the rubber as i rolled it down his shaft. “If I earn it? You’re seriously bad at trying to be the one in charge.” I lied. His sharp tongued quips and deep tone was sending shivers down my spine. I wanted him to control me, command me, and have me fight tooth and nail against him.

Johnny grabbed me by my arms, hauling me up to my feet and harshly pulling down my leggings. I couldnt even say anymore before his fingers were down my panties. His middle finger was coyly circling my entrance and I knew he was just trying proving his point. Specifically, when his finger made one slow drag up to my clit before sliding back down again. “You were saying?”

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “Instead of annoying me with your smart ass mouth and your boring repeated tricks, why don’t you repay the favor by eating me out?”

He looked down at me, wrinkling his nose in a face of disgust. “Nah, i'm cool.”

Excuse me?? What? Did he really just deny eating me out? What kind of nonsense was that?!

“Why not? I literally just sucked your dick. It's the least you could do.” i almost growled. I would have much rather had him go down on me and not be such a jerk about it. Maybe i was spoiled. Every single one of my other partners would do it for me, from Taeyong to Quinn to Lucas and everyone in between. Johnny was the worst exception and my mind still toyed with the idea of leaving him here to get off on his own. I felt his finger dip into me again, trying to distract me from my tirade of angry thoughts. I hated him for all the convincing he was doing by filling me with his thick long fingers, furling and unfurling at a pace that made me squirm against him. My anger was slowly dissolving and my hips were grinding into his palm with each thrust. His breath brushed against my ear while his other hand tugged on the hem of my tee.

“Off, now.” He purred against me.

His command was better and more convincing this time. The timbre of his voice made my thighs clench just a bit and brought out the worst in my bratty personality. “Make me.”

I didn’t expect him to laugh in my face. “What are you, twelve? Just take it off.”

“Shut up! You're the one trying to command me and shit!.”

“I thought that's what you liked? Or is that only when you're tied up with your legs open?” He pulled his fingers out of me, my juices glistening under the fluorescent lighting. I stared at them, my tongue coming to drag over my bottom lip as tension filled the minimal space between us. I swallowed back when i saw the way he was looking at me, irritated yet primal in a way. He gave another tug on my shirt and i didnt question it this time. I pulled it over my head, along with my bra, and dropped it to the floor, never taking my eyes off him as he gripped my chin and pushed his cum covered fingers passed my lips.

The way he filled my mouth so easily had me clawing at his waist to keep him against me. My tongue worked over each digit, sucking my taste off before forcing myself down to his knuckles. His brows furrowed as he watched, concentrating on every movement and the way I grabbed at his wrist as if I was pleading to never pull away. I did however manage to regain myself enough to send a taunting question his way. “Remember when you said you were going to finger me so hard you would have me cumming in minutes? That didn't happen last time. Gonna make up for your lie?”

“i wasn’t lying but since you want to test me so bad bend over the fucking sick then, smartass.”

He shoved me towards the sink so fast that I struggled to kick off my converses and leggings so i wouldn't trip. I grabbed onto the sides of the sink, glaring back at Johnny through the mirror that was bolted above it. “You don't have to push me.”

“Aw baby,” he cooed as he lifted my knee onto the edge of the sink. “Dont lie, i know you love this. I’m gonna make you cum all over my cock.”

“Pause. Big pause. Don’t ever, and i mean, EVER say that. It's gross and literally the most unsexy thing someone could ever say.”

He shrugged, his voice dropping in tonality. “Usually girls want me to say shit like that.”

“Get it through your thick skull that i’m not one of your little chickenheads. What works for them doesn't do shit for me. Just...be yourself.” I sighed as I squared my shoulders and looked back at him. “Ok?” I said softly.

He licked his lips and cleared his throat. “What fucking ever.” He was back to his cocky attitude then but for a split second i could see a small shift in his eyes. Maybe it was doubt or him softening up a bit through me calling him out. I hoped it got through to him or else i'd have to use one of Ten’s ball gags every time i was with him.

He resumed his impatient plunges, as if nothing had transpired, discarding whatever feelings that were passing through his thoughts. He pressed his chest into my back, forcing me to stay bent over the small bowl. The pressure of his body against mine continued to build up and overwhelm my endorphins. I braced my hand against the mirror, the heat from it fogging into a print. God, he was such an asshole for making me feel this good.

He gathered my hair in his fist, tugging slightly to angle my head towards the mirror so i could see the smirk on his reflection.“You know i think i like it better when you don't talk either.”

I gave him a spiteful glare as our eyes chased one another before his tongue dove to place lavish licks across my throat. My shoulders tensed at the sensation, fighting to give into carnal desires that seemed to flare up whenever I was with him.

He placed more bites between my shoulder blades mixing them with the still fresh marks from our previous escapade. He joined his destruction of my skin's surface with the curling of his fingers again, pressing the pads of his fingertips against the sensitive area within me. My lips clasped into a impenetrable wall, sealing in my moan while his were flowing freely into my shoulders. I felt his cock burying into my back, the friction of my squirming leading him into torment. My supporting leg seemed to lift up on its own, bringing me to my tip toes, making him get as deep as he could. The torture ceased when i finally gave into his claim, my first orgasm shocking me as it had in fact hit me in minutes. I almost believed i could snap the sink in half with how utterly amazing his fingers were.

My head dipped low as i sank back, trying to recover before he worked me up again. I wanted to rest my propped up leg down on the ground but Johnny kept it pinned in place. He didnt let me have a moment to myself. Instead he vanished inside me so breathtakingly fast that my gasp surrounded us in echoes. His hand forced an iron grip on my hip while his muscles worked to piston into me. I leaned back against his shoulder reminding me of the climax of our first fuck. My eyes were fluttered closed, lips parted and waiting to feel his tongue overrunning mine. The small teasing nibbles to my lips that turned into rumbling bites were enough to make me weak.

Mewls, curses, and begs circulated between us Then it was over. He pulled away without an explanation, a pattern he was performing all too familiarly. He busied himself with kicking off his shoes and stumbling out of his shorts. I knew he hadnt cum yet and i need that deep stretch between my thighs and that radio voice to make me drip. I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for his next move. “Well?”

He showed nothing more than calculated movements to pull me up into his arms, keeping me between his chest and the wall anew. There wasn’t any struggle to lift me, not even so much as a grunt when the muscles in his arms flexed to support my legs and my ass. I watched every inch of him tense; his legs square and steady, his chest rising and falling with each heavy inhale, and his shoulder blades pinching inwards. He was literally beautiful and i despised it. He was making my brain feel as if it was stuck in the clouds and was never going to clear itself of the fog.  He had spread me out for him, my legs dangling over his striated forearms,

I felt him then, his shaft riding between my lower lips to coat himself in my wetness. It was opposite of the rushed thrusts he had moments ago that made my stomach burn. The ridge of his head ghosted across my clit with each upward motion reminding me that the simplistic move was enough to bring me closer to insanity. That sensation was my favorite thing in the world and i ached for more. I held onto his shoulders, stabilizing myself as i inched my hips to meet his in an unwavering continuation of my satisfaction. His eyes flickered down at me, that smug look mocking me. Why did he know how to tease me so well?

I wanted to shove his face away from me but instead i dipped a hand down from his shoulder, my nails scraping against his torso. His eyes followed my fingers, getting wide as he found them spreading myself open for him. I could see his adam's apple bob with a hard swallow. “Fuck...” He shuddered. I felt my back slide down the wall as his hold on me wavered for a second. He hiked me up, repositioning me as he got a hold of himself. He was at a better angle now and the tip of his cock was already pushing past my entrance. I rested my head against the wall trying to distract myself from the way my already sore thighs were shaking and instead concentrate on the returning thrusts.

The slow sweet feeling got my body on edge just as much as the fast pace plowing did. I could feel myself tingling, shuddering each time his head caught a sensitive spot within my walls. Johnny dripped kisses across my breasts as his tongue teased tantric circles around my nipple before capturing it between his plush lips. My back arched, my breast filling his mouth enough for him to bite the swell of it. My breath hiccuped as i felt the sting of his teeth grazing against my skin. I wanted to see the after effects of those perfect rows when i thought of him later on tonight. He kissed at the indentations, creeping his way back up to my neck. 

His motions switched to a rough slam that had his hips forcing me back against the clammy wall as i clutched onto him for dear life. The calculated and harsh thrusts were powerful enough to drive feelings out of me that i preferred to keep repressed. It didn't help at all when his husky fervored radio voice finally groaned in my ear, “Fuck, Eri….you feel so good.”

In my head i was begging him not to stop though all i could get out was little squeaks as my nails etched streaks into his back. He hissed as i clenched around him with as much strength as i could muster, spurring the morphing jagged stutters of his hips faster. Our lips met in a rougher kiss once more, teeth clashing and moans interrupting each grab of our tongues. He was stretching me as he throbbed until the ever euphoric feeling flushed over us together. Our bodies had somehow managed to sync our orgasms which shocked me into silence. Johnny pressed his forehead into my shoulder as he slowed down, riding out the last aching feeling between us. I was tingling all over, my limbs feeling like tv static, as a wave of warmth washed over my skin. Everything about this was a mystery I had to unravel. It was new and different. I had never cum at the same time as my partner before. I always thought it was an enigma that only appeared in movies and tv shows. Now that I was experiencing it I had no idea what to do or say. I looked up at him as i tried to gather myself.

“Shit...uh…” What did you say to someone who made you feel so painstakingly good?

He pulled out of me gently before setting me down on my unstable legs. I diverted my eyes from him and managed to catch my reflection in the mirror. New hickies were all over me flowing with the others and the teeth marks on my chest made the skin tender. The fatigue was setting in hard and i was harshly reminded of the warm September weather that the shitty air conditioning in this building couldn't keep up with. I wanted to shower then sleep forever, maybe with him in my bed.

That minuscule daydream ended as i saw him tossing out the used condom and getting dressed. He was cold and distant like i usually was after a quick fuck..

“See ya.” He said as he pulled his shirt back over his head and grabbed his backpack. I gave him the finger as the door shut behind him, cursing under my breath. I was pretending that it wasn’t phasing me that he was leaving me out in the cold again. I turned on the faucet and ran some water over my neck and chest, trying to cool myself down. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail before wiping the cum that was now making me uncomfortably wet from between my thighs. Getting dressed was a painful ride that i was sure to carry onto my shift at work later on. I took a deep breath before opening the door and sliding back out into the world, less horny but still feeling incredibly reckless.

--

Johnnys POV

I unlocked the door to the apartment, sighing deeply as i still felt the scratches from earlier beneath my backpack. They had bothered me all day during my shift and I had half a mind to curse Eri out. I dropped my backpack to the floor, grateful to get rid of the weight and kicked off my work boots. I ran my fingers through my hair as i took off my hat, setting it on the hook by the door along with my keys. Jae was sprawled out on the couch seeming to have done nothing all day. “Hey dipshit.”

“‘Sup, asshole.” he replied.

“I’m fucking starving.” I announced as i headed over to the kitchen. I opened the freezer and took out the frozen pizza i had been thinking about all day. I had barely eaten since i had started my shift this afternoon and at this point i would eat everything if our fridge wasn’t so empty.

“Hey i got you something.” I heard Jae call out as i tore open the box and pulled out the pizza.

“What?”

“Look.”

I turned back to see a little plastic baggie dangling from his fingers. I rushed back to him snatching it up. “Fuck! Where'd you get this from? Matt?”

“Yeah, i managed to have enough for the good shit.”

“Thank fuckin' god because Josh kept giving us mostly stems.” I replied. “I'm gonna put some food in the oven in a sec, if you wanna share.”

He nodded. “What are you making?”

“Pizza, i dont think we have another one but ill double check. Oh, we need screens.” I headed into my room for a moment, grabbing my bowl off my dresser and searching for the screens i had….somewhere. I opened my drawer and moved some of my underwear around, searching for the stupid little envelope. “For the love of tits, where is it? JAE! You got any screens left?”

“Fuck if i know.” he called back.

Thanks for helping, asshole. I went to check my desk drawer, pushing aside some of my sd cards, lighters, and notebooks until I finally found the tiny manilla envelope with the mesh screens for the bottom of my bowl. I went back to the living room and handed them over to Jae. “You wanna get it ready? Im gonna put the pizza in.”

He sat up and grabbed his grinder that was on the coffee table. “Yep. Can we use your good lighter? Mine barely has any juice left.”

We always use my good lighter. I rolled my eyes and tried to hide my annoyed sigh. I couldn't be too picky. He did get me good weed after all. “Yeah, no problem, bro.” I left him to work and shuffled back to the kitchen, getting out a cookie sheet and slapping the pizza on it, sans plastic. I looked in the freezer to see if we had anything else I could whip up. There was some left over frozen fries and onion rings. I shrugged and dumped them onto the cookie sheet, shoving the pizza aside a bit. That was good enough. I tossed it in the oven and set the timer for like 20 minutes.

I sat down beside Jae on the couch just as he was lighting the bowl, taking in a big inhale before handing it to me. I did the same, waiting a bit before exhaling, my eyes resting on the rerun of Rick and Morty he had put on. I thought about telling him what happened between Eri and I this afternoon. We normally told each other about who we fucked but i felt like i wasn't going to hear the end of his bitching if I did. Oh well. I had a mental shrug before taking another hit. “So….i fucked Eri again today.”

“Damn, for real?” He looked over at me in disbelief, shaking his head a bit. “I knew you were whipped for her.”

“Fuck off, i am not. She’s just you know…hot.” As in ridiculously cute even though she was not the usual type i went for. “And she has nice tits.” As in they fit so perfectly in my hands and i wish i could hold them all day, that i could hold her all day… “And shes tight as fuck, to be honest.” As in, i could hardly give a shit about that but she feels so damn good that my mind just turns to mush when im inside her. “Oh, and shes good at giving brain.” As in, her lips are literally a gift to this damn world and all i could think about was kissing them...but also yeah, she gives good brain too.

“Damn, her pussy must be that special to end your one night stand streak then. What happened to ‘only get her snap or instagram so she cant call you’, or ‘only ask for nudes’, or ‘fuck her and leave and dont ever text her back’?”

“The dick wants what the dick wants, bro.” I said before taking another hit. I really wished she would get out my head. I was stuck with her though. For an entire semester i had to stare at the way she twirled her hair around her finger as she tried to look back at me and hope that i didnt notice. I noticed it all and it only made it worse. Everything about her was frozen in my head like a damaged vhs tape caught in the same scene. Even at work i was fucking up coffee orders because i would remember the little moans she made in my ear or some other gay shit. Sometimes i would think about tracing my fingers over her tattoos and seeing what other things turned her on. I hated this. I needed to separate myself from her. Sleeping with her again was a mistake.

“You good or are you just spacing out from the weed?” Jae laughed.

I blinked quickly and looked at him, suddenly coming out of my funk. I had no idea how long I spaced out for or however many hits i took. It was kind of an unconscious motion at this point. I laughed nervously trying to cover up that i had been thinking about Eri. “Oh yeah, haha. Shit's good. I'm gonna check on the food ok?”

“I think the timer went off.” He shrugged as he packed another bowl. I went to check the food, taking my phone with me. I was secretly hoping that i would have a snap from Eri. There was nothing. I should've been happy because it meant i could cut ties and not have her in my room again (or bathroom for that matter). But a feeling in my stomach kept tugging. It was if my gut was telling me to just take the chance and message her again. We barely talked otherwise. Even today i just left her in the bathroom because it was what i was used to even though I felt like I should’ve said more. That orgasm was fuckin’ insane-better than anything I had ever had before. Maybe one more little hook up wouldn’t kill me. No. I was starting to break my own rules.

I wanted to slam my head against the wall with all this back and forth bullshit in my mind. I needed to smoke more; until my head got foggy, my eyes blurry, and i could laugh this feeling away. I opened the oven and stared at the food for awhile, trying to gauge if everything was cooked without actually touching it. I cocked my head to the side, watching the slow bubbling of the pizza cheese and listening to the sizzle of the fries that were just starting to crisp.

“Is it done?!”

I stepped back from the oven, wiping away the sweat on my forehead that had started to accumulate from being in front of the heat for so long. I looked around for a potholder, finding it on the floor because Jae could never pick anything up. I pulled the tray out and grabbed a plate for myself. “Come get your own shit!”

I grabbed a knife and started hacking away at the pizza, trying to get it into slices. I was so focused on trying to unstick it from the tray i almost didnt notice the two quick vibrations that went off as my phone screen flashed on. I tried not to look at it right away since Jae was making his way over to the kitchen. If i didn’t play it cool he would go back to bitchin’ about me hooking up with Eri again. He started picking off fries from the tray, opening and closing his mouth to try in get cold air in, instead of waiting for it to cool like a normal human being. Meanwhile, I managed to get half a slice of pizza unstuck and dropped it onto my plate before joining it with some onion rings. I picked up my phone, making sure Jae was too engrossed with eating to see what Eri had sent me.

It was a picture of her neck and shoulders. The new hickies from today that had amassed into a weird purple splotch on her skin. Her caption was ‘can you not? I do have to go to work you know lol’. I smirked. Seeing them all over her made me feel something. Like i had marked my territory? Eww no. That sounded gross. Maybe i liked seeing a reminder of me on her? It was feeding into my thoughts of ‘maybe she was thinking about me too’. My thumbs hovered over my keyboard for a solid minute. I didnt want to sound like an idiot or worse, a desperate idiot.

Text me when ur free?

I hit send in the chat section then typed out my number. I never did that. Never fucking ever. I was kicking myself mentally already. She wasn’t going to text back. I set my phone in my pocket and pulled off more pizza from the tray and went to the couch, alternating between eating, smoking, and feeling my body start to give into sleep. “Dont sleep on the couch.” I yawned at Jae, seeing him start to slump over on the armrest.

“I’m chill. I had a productive day of not giving a fuck and staying home. Go snap your girlfriend.” he laughed.

“Go text yours.” I got up and shuffled to my room, slamming the door behind me. I tossed my phone onto my bed and took off all my clothes, kicking them towards the giant pile of laundry on my floor. I shook off a condom wrapper that stuck to my foot then fell face first into the mattress. My body felt heavy. I hoped i would stay asleep through the night this time and wake up not needing 4 Americanos to start the day. I felt a vibration through my bed and poked my head up from my pillow.

I guess im free

Dumbass

I immediately saved her number.

Cool

Slut

I could feel a smile start to form on my lips and i shoved my face back into my pillow. If i suffocated myself enough i’d end my misery. I wouldn't need to wait for my heart stop beating so fast if i was dead. Minutes passed by and there wasn’t another message. I waited just a bit longer, until my eyelids felt heavy and i dove deep into the void.

The void was sometimes peaceful but it never really lasted long. There were times where it shifted into an ocean and made me choke on the waters of my mental distress. Other times it was a sterile room, bright and menacing. It housed my body on a slab that couldn't move, my mouth wired shut and my inability to scream permeating my mind until all i did was panic. The worst of times it was a monster that sucked me back into a realm of corrupted childhood innocence and i could never escape the horrors of being chased. It felt so stupid that i could do all this to myself but never had a way to stop it. The fear was overwhelming, creeping through each nerve until all that was left was the suffocating silence and the streaks of tears on my cheeks that smothered me in emotions that were usually locked away and buried under time and ignorance. I was fading into a forgotten mess and still trying to claw my way up, reaching for absolutely anything that could pull me out.

“Hello?....Johnny?”

I gasped as my body yanked upright. My room was stuffy and heated. My sheets stuck to my sweat drenched body, clinging like a second skin. I looked down at my hands that were slowly coming into view as i blinked away tears.

“Johnny???”

I looked around in the darkness of my room. I had no idea where that voice was coming from. Was i just imagining things? Was i even actually awake? I spotted my phone, the screen glowing as it showed an ongoing call to Eri. I picked it up, trying to even out my breath. “H-hello?”

“Dude, its like 4am. Why are you calling me?” she sounded groggy and irritated.

“So-sorry. I uh...i think i might've rolled over onto my phone and dialed you. Didn't mean to wake you.”

“You sound out of breath. Did you call me while you're fucking someone?!”

“No...seriously i’m not. I-i-i gotta go.” I hung up instantly, not wanting to dwell in my weakness. I didn't need her to know about my suffocating anxiety forced night terrors. I didn't need anyone to know about those. I wasn't sure if i rolled over onto my phone or picked it up and dialed her in my sleep. I assumed i had done it more so on accident. Who knows how much thrashing i did this time. I laid back down, kicking off the sticky blankets and instead focusing on the dozens of messages i had missed in the group chat since i had fallen asleep.

--

The Boys Group Chat

Jae: the king has been bested lol

Taeyong: ohhh shit what happened now?

Jae: the one night stand turned into another fuck

Ten: wait he fucked eri again????

Jae: 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jae: yup

Ten: holy shit

Taeyong: holy shit is right

Taeyong: thats like...

Taeyong: i mean hes never done that

Jae: not since we became friends

Jae: its been like 2 yrs since we met too

Ten: oh how the mighty have fallen

Johnny: can yall not???

Johnny: like i can literally read everything youre sending

Johnny: i havent fallen anywhere

Ten: hell yeah you have. Youre literally trapped now

Johnny: im not fucking trapped. Its done and over with. Were not gonna fuck again

Yuta: ok bro whatever u say tbh

Johnny: get out of here yuta

Yuta: 👅👅👅👅👅👅

Taeyong: dont listen to them. Ten and yuta drool over her every time she comes near them. Theyre like addicted or something

Taeil: ive seen you commenting a few times on her ig ty. Seems like theyre not the only ones addicted

Taeyong: ive literally just liked a few of her posts! So fucking what? That doesnt mean anything!

Taeil: you were literally staring at her at the party

Taeyong: yeah because you were trying to do your innocent boy schtick!

Ten: ty no matter how much you want to deny it you want her too

Johnny: shes literally not that great. I was just horny today after class. Yall need to chill

Jae: ok but if you hook up with her a third time then we know ur for sure whipped

Johnny: fucking choke. Pls.

Yuta: once you get used to her she aint so bad

Johnny: im cool. Trust.

Ten: hes too vanilla for her lolol

Johnny: fuck off. At least i dont have to like strangle myself to get off

Ten: awww chokings fun j-suh. Im surprised she hasnt asked you to do it yet

Johnny: well i mean like

Johnny: she kinda leaned into my hand a bit

Johnny: on saturday i mean. But it was weird so i just moved it

Ten: lmaooooo pussy

Yuta: dude just do it. She just gets this look in her eyes and its fucking insane

Jae: can yall not right now? Im about to puke

Taeil: im sure shes fine having normal sex. You act like every waking moment with her has to be kinky

Johnny: i havent had any complaints yet either

Taeil: yet? As in youre actually planning for another time? Lol

Johnny: GOOD NIGHT ASSHOLES

ten: #whipped

Yuta: #johnnyiserisbitch

Jae: then what does that make u two?

Yuta: her fuckin doms, dumbass 😂😂😂

Jae: what does that even mean????

Taeyong: even i know what that means jae damn. How dumb are you?

Jae: its just weird! Idk!

Yuta: it means when ten and i fuck her we control everything about her

Taeil: jfc

Ten: its a gift what can i say

(Downloading picture)

Johnny: Yuta are you fucking serious rn bro?

Taeil: Did you really take a picture of her tied up and gagged?

Yuta: lmao yeah. why fckn not? its hot

Johnny: how many pics of her do you have?

Yuta: lol so fucking many

Ten: ive got videos too 😏😏

Yuta: i mean theyre all up for grabs in case you want em 😜

Taeil: dont you think you shouldn't be sending those without her permission?

Yuta: i can dm u them

Taeil: yeah tbh

Taeyoung: youre just as bad as everyone else

Taeil: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Johnny: cut it out

Ten: boo yall are no fun at all

Yuta: anyway just dont fuck her again or else ull get trapped

Johnny: like you two are?

Ten: guilty tbh

Yuta: mood

Jae: yall need to sleep

Jae: asap

Jae: and stop bugging me

Taeil: mute the damn chat duh

Johnny: i gotta get back to bed too

Johnny: morning shift tomorrow

Taeyong: wack but same

Taeyong: ill see you guys

Ten: nighty nighty tae tae😚😚😚

Jae: ten ur gay is showing. No homo

Ten: literally all the homo. Anyway tell us again if you fuck eri

Ten: and ill let you know what happens on thursday ;)

Johnny: id rather not know and not fuck her again if ur gonna touch her

Taeil: i mean u basically already have so….

Johnny: shut up

Yuta: 😂😂😂😂

Yuta: dumbass

Taeil: im dipping out but ill let you guys know if she comes to the library ✌👅

Jae: eww dont talk about that

Taeyong: stop being such a kid and just go down on her

Johnny: off limits for damn sure

Ten: i'm telling you she wont keep you around if you dont

Johnny: good lets keep it that way

[calpalirwin]

According to Plan

A/N: So, in one of my first renderings of this story, Mads (originally Emma) was high-functioning autistic, and stuck to a very simple diet (very little typical sugars and sweets) because “research” (in quotes because I’m not sure if it’s factual or not) shows that diet can help with the brain chemistry or something. Anyway, that’s why she pretty much only drinks water. And I thought her first soda experience was cute, so I kept it in. Enjoy!

And away, and away we go!

~~~

Chapter 9

Madison

~~~

I walked with him to his truck after we finished up the assignment. “I’ll meet you by your locker,” he told me.

I smiled. Yeah. I’ll see you then. I’ll be online later if you want to play videogames. I was back to signing, having talked more in the last half hour than in the last seven years combined.

“Yeah, cool,” he smiled and kissed me.

I waited in the yard and watched as he drove off before I headed back in the house. I grabbed a water from the fridge before I sat down at the table.

“So, you’ve been spending a lot of time with Ashton. Things getting serious?” Mom asked.

I don’t know… I guess.

Mom and Dad exchanged a look. Dad coughed awkwardly. Mom cleared her throat. “Well, your dad and I would feel more comfortable if you started on birth control.”

Mike and I both choked. What? We’re not… I’m not… What?!

“Just as a safety precaution! It’s not permission, by any means. We’d much rather if you didn’t get involved that way. But, we’d rather you be protected if you decide to make that decision down the road.”

Okay, well if we’re on the topic of discussing change, I think I want to get the Cochlear implant.

“You do?” they asked.

Yeah. I’m gonna be on my own next year. I think it’s time. I left out the fact that I just really wanted to be able to hear Ashton’s laugh on my own.

“Okay,” Dad said. “But, Mads, you know this isn’t as easy as saying you want it and then you get the surgery. You have to prove that you’re a good candidate. It’ll probably take a while. Just don’t get your hopes up.”

I know. But I want to at least try. Can’t hurt to try, right?

“Can’t hurt to try,” my parents agreed.

When I played videogames with Ashton later that night, I typed into the chatbox to him:

So, my parents want me to go on birth control.

What? Why?

They want me to be protected now that we’re apparently getting serious. Just in case.

Wow, that’s… progressive of them. As awkward as it probably was, at least they’re being realistic. Most parents just ignore that part of their kids’ relationships.

But it’s still dumb. Like we’re not anywhere close to making that decision. Are we?

I’m not. I mean, I hope we’re getting serious, but I’m not ready for that.

I let out a sigh of relief. 

Good, because I’m not either. I mean, I like you… I like you a lot. But, I’m just getting used to being your girlfriend. And honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. I mean, I never… well, y’know.

I’ve never either, actually…

You haven’t? I was a little taken aback. Given his relationship with Claire, I had sort of assumed he was experienced sexually.

No. I mean, we did stuff, but we never had actual sex. Our relationship was too rocky for me to feel comfortable to do that.

Wow, I didn’t know. I kinda just assumed. Sorry.

It’s okay, it’s not your fault.

No. You’d think for someone who hates people making assumptions about her, that I wouldn’t be so quick to make them about someone else. I’m sorry.

It’s okay. It just goes to show that just because it was a long relationship doesn’t make it a good one. It took me a long time to realize that. And as embarrassing as it is, I’m glad I’m still a virgin. I’m glad I didn’t make the mistake of being truly intimate with the wrong person.

I smiled. I liked that he put thought into his actions, or lack thereof. Having Mike, not only my brother, but as my only real friend for the last seven years, meant that I knew a lot about what teenage boys thought about teenage girls. And Ashton’s concept of sex was not necessarily unheard of, but definitely a rarity. At least, it was rare to say it out loud. It was nice to know that he took things seriously.

That’s not to say that I don’t think about sex, he was still typing. But, I don’t know… I just don’t want you to think that I’m going to pressure you into something that you’re not ready for. Like, I’m not that guy.

I smiled more. If it was one thing I knew about Ashton in our very short time together, it was that he was one of the good ones.

The rest of the week at school was much like the first day had been. Ashton and I walked from class to class with his arm slung around my shoulders, our fingers intertwined. The classes themselves had progressed from first day formalities to a “let’s get started because we have a lot to cover” pace that I found comfort in. The onslaught of assignments and deadlines made me breathe easier.

Friday, as I was getting everything from my locker at the end of the day, Ashton came up, his hair damp from his shower. “Hey, is it cool if Mike takes you home today?”

I paused what I was doing to stare at him. Ashton had taken me home all week, why didn’t he want to today? Why? Is everything okay? I asked, trying to keep my face neutral.

“Yeah. I just want to take care of a few things at home before I pick you up tonight.”

Are we going somewhere?

“Yeah, we’re going to the drive-in, remember?”

Oh, yeah.

“I’ll pick you up at 7, okay?” He kissed me just long enough for me to feel his lips on mine, but short enough to leave me wishing for more.

At ten minutes to seven, I sat on the couch, fidgeting. I had changed into jeans to ward off any nighttime chill and was debating bringing a jacket, but finally decided that my flannel would be enough. I continued to fidget as the clock got closer to seven, nervous about our first “real” date.

When the doorbell rang- the light in the entryway flashing brightly- I jumped and practically ran to answer the door. “Hey,” Ashton said. “Ready to go?”

Yeah. I smiled, a sense of calm washing over me, all the nerves disappearing.

“Don’t be out too late,” came the warning call from my parents before they let us leave.

The September air was cool against my skin as we drove through town. “We got some time before the movie. You hungry?” he was asking as I took everything in; something I had been doing a lot lately.

Yeah, food sounds good.

He turned to look at me and smiled that breathtaking smile of his.

We sat in the corner booth of the diner, quietly eating. He put a fry in his mouth as I took a sip of my water. “Do you ever drink anything else?” he asked, wiping ketchup from the corner of his mouth.

No, not really.

He pushed his soda glass over to me. “Here, have some.”

I hesitantly took a small sip. The sugary sweetness was both overpowering and refreshing. It’s so sweet! I pushed the glass back over to him.

“But it’s good, isn’t it?”

I nodded. Yeah, it was good.

He laughed and pushed the glass to where we could both reach it easily. “Go for it, we get free refills.”

I took several more drinks as we finished our food.

After we had finished and Ashton paid the bill, we got back in the truck and drove to the drive-in. He paid for the tickets and then pulled into a spot backwards. We can’t see the screen from here. I gestured at the nothingness in front of us.

“Oh, we’re doing this right,” he said with a mischievous grin as he reached into the backseat. He pulled out 2 sleeping bags, a blanket, and 2 big pillows.

I got out of the truck and eyed him suspiciously as he climbed into the bed of the truck with his supplies. He laid out the 2 sleeping bags, one on top of the other. He carefully arranged the pillows near his back window, then he finally spread out the blanket. “Tada!” he gestured at his masterpiece makeshift bed. “Come on,” he held out his hand to help me into the bed.

I sat on the sleeping bags and reclined into the pillows. Okay, this is pretty nice, I admitted.

“Good. Get comfortable. I’m gonna go get us some popcorn and drinks.” He kissed me before he climbed out of the truck.

I stretched out in the makeshift bed, laughing. Only Ashton would be this clever. He had clearly thought of everything. The second sleeping bag added just enough extra padding so lying on the truck bed wasn’t uncomfortable. The pillows provided a soft place to lay my head, and the blanket was thin enough so I wasn’t hot, but thick enough to ward off the September night chill.

Later, I wouldn’t remember the movie. But I would always remember his body pressed up against mine as we stared up at the stars.

When the credits finally rolled we reluctantly got out of the truck bed. I stood there, shivering, suddenly wishing I had brought a jacket. He stopped packing everything to reach into the truck. “Here,” he said, draping a grey zip up hoodie over my shoulders.

I slipped my arms inside and zipped up the hoodie, letting the warmth envelop me.

“Better?” he asked as he went back to cleaning everything up.

I nodded, holding my hands to my mouth and breathing in his scent. Thanks.

He looked over at me and let out a small laugh. “You’re cute, y’know that?”

I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘awkward’.

He stepped towards me and wrapped me in his arms. “No. I meant ‘cute.’ Breathtaking, actually.”

I was grateful it was dark so he couldn’t see how red my face got.

He drove me back home, me watching as his mouth moved to sing with the radio. “Sorry we didn’t actually watch the movie,” he finally said as he pulled up in front of my house.

We never really seem to do what we say we will, do we?

“No, we really don’t,” he laughed. “You still had fun though, right?”

I always have fun with you. It doesn’t matter to me what we do.

“Me too. I’ll see you tomorrow after your doctor’s appointment?”

Yeah, I’ll text you. I hadn’t told him about my decision to get a Cochlear implant. I told him that my doctor’s appointment was just a typical routine checkup thing. I kissed him before I opened my door and hopped out. I closed the door and made my way to the porch.

His hand grabbed my shoulder.

I jumped, startled by his touch, wondering when he had gotten out of the truck to get my attention. What? I asked once I had turned to face him.

“You think you can kiss me like that and then just leave?” he asked.

Yes? I was slightly confused. Was there something I was supposed to do instead?

“You do realize that you just kissed me, right? Like actually kissed me. Not on my cheek, and not without me kissing you first.”

I quickly replayed every kiss we shared in my head. It was true, I hadn’t kissed him once on the lips without him kissing me first. Until two seconds ago. Huh… I suppose I did.

His eyes were shining brightly. “Yeah. You did.”

I shrugged. It was bound to happen sometime. I wasn’t sure why he was making a big deal of it. Maybe if I had taken months to kiss him on my own, that’d be cause for celebration. But a week was hardly anything to make a fuss over.

“Keep doing it,” he said.

If I keep kissing you, we’d never do anything else.

“And that’s a bad thing?” he challenged.

I didn’t say that. I kissed him again. Good night.

“Night,” he breathed as he watched me walk away.

I closed the door behind me and watched out the window as he walked to his truck. He looked at the house one last time, smiling wide. Then, with a laugh and a shake of his head, he got in his truck and drove away. I almost felt bad I was keeping the Cochlear implant a secret, especially from him since he was a huge reason I wanted it. Almost, but I decided that I wanted it to be a surprise for him when I could finally hear that laugh of his for myself.

“Okay, Madison,” Dr. Parker said as she signed, after a series of tests. “It’s gonna be a long journey to surgery and after surgery. But it’s doable, as long as you stay determined.”

Really?!

“Yes, really. As long as you stay determined.”

Oh, I’m determined.

[surejo]

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !