#Honestly I was thinking of it just being a surprise-pain more than anything lol - like a splinter haha that wouldn't even pierce him!

[sysig]

Rainbows (Patreon)

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Sorry this request might be a little weird; Im gonna try and word it best I can. Can you do something with Alastor and the reader, who very slowly and maybe unintentionally became friends; where Alastor confesses his feelings and how much he cares for the reader... But the reader doesnt take him seriously? The reader basically doesnt think he is actually interested in dating them. The reader thinks its a joke, he is just trying to use them, or otherwise just trying to get something out of them. Not in like a distrustful way either. The reader has the attitude of 'oh yeah. The great radio demon who has girls falling at his feet and can get ANYONE he wants is interested in me? Right, good one.' Like its a self-esteem/self-worth thing stopping them from believing him. Oh and this is for Hazbin Hotel obviously, but just in case I had to say it.

Please Please Please~

(This honestly was me projecting because this is me anytime someone shows interest in me. I have horrible self-esteem issues lol)

When you woke in hell, you thought nothing of it, really. You did some good, and you sure did some bad, so maybe this was exactly where you were always supposed to be. You had no anger or frustration about your placement because you simply couldn’t care enough. Heaven or hell, you probably would still be fighting for something. If anything, you hoped you would just fall asleep in death, but where would the fun in that be?

Upon your arrival, a few things became quite clear: 1. It was a dog-eat-dog world here in hell, so be prepared for anything. 2. The more souls you own, the more powerful you are, so start making some friends to make just as many enemies. 3. You will always be less powerful and popular than the TV head and the Radio Demon.

The only downside is you never got to meet this Radio Demon. He had been missing for seven years, according to the streets, and long gone, but still, he was the talk of countless women and men, especially Vox. This wasn’t a surprise, though; how people explained his rise to power was even more impressive and unique to you. He would one day be a formidable foe if you crossed him, or would he? The last extermination was killer. Half your souls had been killed off, and you were left a lot weaker from an injury caused by angelic steel. A slash was going straight across your back from a poorly-timed dodge. You weren’t bad at fighting; you weren't good at it either. Usually, during exterminations, you would hide at the Vee’s tower or another notable place. However, unsurprisingly, you were kicked out after your loud denial of working with the Vees. 

Seeking refuge at the next best place, you stumbled upon the Hazbin Hotel. Delirious and in pain, it was indeed just a stumble into the lobby. Upon entering, you saw an excited and concerned blonde chick, someone with a spear, and then all that was left was just red—beautiful crimson red. 

Some days had to have passed; you only know this because your wounds were wrapped up, and the calendar in the room you were placed in had days since the extermination marked off. Five days you spent asleep resting and recouping. Though your body was mainly healed, the scar you saw on your back when you stood was anything but attractive. Sighing, you sat on the cold bathroom floor.

You were never much of a beauty in your mind. You were just simply good enough. Sometimes, you could seduce a soul into your clutches, win a soul gambling, and sometimes gain one from fighting—a jack of all trades, master of none. Yet now, your value has significantly decreased with a giant scare running across the expanse of your back. Sighing, you stood once more and decided you would figure out where the hell you were and who was stupidly kind enough to help you.

With your top half fully bandaged, you didn’t think about putting on a shirt. The idea of anything rubbing on your wound annoyed you greatly. So, being mindful of potential others, you walked around carefully, ensuring your bandages were tight. Looking around, it was a reasonably average hotel. Nothing was too crazy about it; it just had some eerie decor at the most.

Rounding the last corner, you found stairs that opened up to the lobby, and dear lord, above did you wish you stayed in your room. A loud, cheerful presence came bombarding you, shouting a hundred questions about your health, your name, and what happened. You almost wanted to retreat into the shadows at how brightly she shone when you agreed to stay at her hotel and take a shot at redemption.

You met the residents quickly after that. It's not like you had much of a choice anyway. Surprisingly, the one you clicked with the most was the famed Alastor, the Radio Demon. How you two clicked was beyond everyone, besides the fact you were cunning and a silver tongue speaker like the man himself. Maybe that is why he found you amusing and watched you work your magic on lulling Husk even into a secure enough place to talk to you.

His lack of asking for your soul surprised you more than anything. Though you knew Charlie had her rules in the hotel, that didn’t dissuade the Deer from making his own choices. You commended him for his poise and regality; you understood why he was the talk of the town even when Vox was trying so hard to be the new it boy. Alastor was handsome in a nonconventional way; he was refined, elegant, and poised. He treated women like a gentlemen and men like they were just one step below him. 

You wouldn’t lie to yourself and say you weren't enamored; you liked him a lot from just the first handful of conversations. However, one late night really sealed the nail in your coffin of love for the affamed Overlord. You two were sitting on the lobby chair, the long-forgotten bar, and a nursed bottle of Whiskey between you two. Each new glass only brought you two closer, having a lot of similarities. 

You also killed upon your time on earth as a means to protect the ones you cared about and end those who acted foolishly like them. You also died an untimely death at the hands of something out of your control. You were both quick-witted and capable of compelling those around you with your voice and words. The only significant difference was he was an Overlord, a beautiful, attractive overlord. At the same time, you were just a sinner with a few damned souls that saw potential in you.

After that night, you and Alastor grew a lot closer. You would even dare to call him your best friend, knowing that nothing more would ever come of your two relationship past that. Not only was Alastor continuously turning women and men down left and right, but Angel was convinced the man didn’t know what romance or sex was. You couldn’t help but agree with him as every beautiful person who crossed his path was quickly shooed away or disposed of. 

As the Adam-led extermination approached, you noticed Alastor took a particular interest in your training. You were opting for him to train you and approve your placement on the battlefield. Your heart soared at his kindness, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up. He didn’t want to lose a like-minded friend, which was all this was. As you all prepared for the event, his sudden and lingering hug was just him being worried about a friend.

You would do and say anything to convince yourself he just saw you as a friend, even as he scolded you for your injuries after the battle. He just cared a lot about his best friend. You were nothing comparative in power and prestige as Alastor was, so he would never see you as more. This was all just a fond kindness he used with Niffty, Roise, and Mimzy. You wouldn’t allow yourself to be a fool and believe anything more would happen. 

As your affection grew for the Radio Demon, so did your self-doubt and negative self-esteem. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself like Mimzy, pining after a demon that would never love you. Your nights at the bar became more and more apparent enough that Husk took to talking to you and trying to help you out. This didn’t go unnoticed by the boss of said man. No, instead, jealousy was brewing inside of him, watching you grow closer to the cat demon. Jealousy that was soon to reach a head.

Alastor was utterly infatuated with you. You were a perfect mix of normalcy and insanity, something he admired dearly. You were not overbearing or clingy like Mimzy, not psychotic and wild like Niffty, and not motherly and borderline insane like Rosie. No, you were a perfect combination of what he loved in all his dear friends. That’s all you were right, a dear friend. It didn’t help that you stopped spending time with him and hanging around Husk; he grew irate. 

He needed help and fast; who better to turn to than his motherly companion, Rosie? Wanting to get you out of Husk's grasp, though he invited you along on the trip. It was pleasant. You wrapped around his arm as he led you through the streets, up until cannibal town people cowering at your feet. Once in cannibal town, though, the women came flocking. He was used to this, declining, pushing people away, and even allowing his shadows a meal or two. However, the frown on your face was the least of his expectations. He hadn’t long to question it before you two arrived at Rosie’s Emporium. 

As you two entered, you were immediately enamored with all of the goods Rosie had sold. Once quick introductions were out of the way, Alastor approached the side table to speak with his friend while you looked around more. His worries and fears were confirmed, though; he was, in fact, in love with you. Alastor wasn’t one to skimp on charm; he was a gentleman who would court you properly. 

After your visit to Rosies, you noticed a new change in Alastor. He was quite literally everywhere you were. You couldn’t get far without him complimenting you, giving you a gift, or asking you to accompany him on errands. You figured that your time secluding and hanging out with Husk might have made him think you didn’t want to be friends anymore. So, with a smile, you welcomed this change and stuck through it. Why not accept his doting behavior before he finally broke your heart and said he didn’t like dating or got a partner? 

This went on for months. The lingering touches, longer hugs, late-night talks, gifts galore, and, most importantly, him letting his guard down around you made you feel special. According to Husk, he hasn't done this with any of his other close friends. This made you almost hope that there was something more. Alastor had countless options, though, so of course, he would never choose you. Why would you allow him to embarrass you like that? 

After six months of pursuing you, Alastor believed he had amply courted you. He had enlisted the help of Charlie and Vaggie to set up the lobby so he could ask you to be his officially. The room was perfect: low lighting, candles, your favorite flowers, and food placed out. All that was missing was you there on his arm. He knew it was perfect for you, everything to your heart's desire. 

You were in shock as you entered the lobby after an impromptu errand Charlie needed to be done. You couldn’t even begin to understand what was going on. As you walked in, you saw Alastor sitting at the table before you, a large smile on his face. You looked at him quizically. “Uh, Al, what is all this?” He looked around awkwardly—that was the first time you saw that expression. “Well, Y/N, what does it look like? Of course, it's a date for us, in the hotel's safety.” You scrunched up your eyebrows, trying to process his words. “A date?” He seemed to be growing more tense by the moment; he expected you to be happy and excited, and you seemed to like his courting so much. “Yes, dear, we have been courting for some time now, which leads me to believe you were ready for a date. Was I mistaken?” You were taken aback. Are you courting? When did that happen? You looked at Alastor, trying to piece together the puzzles. Could he have liked you all this time? No, there is no way; he had so many options, so many better, less disfigured options. “Al, are you waiting for a different girl? Is this some like practice run for a person you want to date? You shouldn’t play with me like this. It’s not nice.” Alastor looked genuinely upset, only momentarily before his signature smile returned. “No, Y/N. This is for you. I have been courting you. Did you not realize my advances towards you? I have been avidly seeking you and you alone out.” You started to tear up. You wanted to believe him; you did, but it was hard. You weren’t the best; you weren’t the strongest. You had nothing going for you than surviving hell each day. “What, no? What do you mean? You can’t mean me. I am nothing, Alastor. I am nothing; I would just be embarrassing you. You are a powerful Overlord—a handsome, sought-after man. I am nothing. I am just here a sinner designed to fight through hell, that is all.” Alastor began to realize what you were getting at. You didn’t see yourself as being good enough for him. He never learned the toll you put yourself through watching person after person fall to his feet. You were watching him turn them all away and go about his day. You thought he was going to do the same to you. You thought you would never be good enough for him when you have always been what he wanted all along. 

“Oh, Y/N, no.” He rushed over to you, holding you close. Even as you fought to push him away, he stayed holding you close until you calmed. “Y/N, it has always been you. Yes, I am rough around the edges and have high expectations, but you meet them, Y/N. Can you not see how close and compatible we are since the day you moved in?” You stilled and listened. Could it be true that he liked you too this whole time? What if this was some sick prank to torture you? You looked up at Alastor, a genuine smile replacing his normal, calculated one. “Alastor, if I agree with this, you won't hurt me, right?” He sighed and held you close. “I can’t promise not to hurt you; I am an overlord and a selfish creature. However, I promise never to lie, cheat, or steal from you. I choose to love you and you alone, Y/N.” You smiled brightly and reached up, kissing his lips softly. His arms snaked around your waist as he deepened the kiss, and both of you closed your eyes. You could easily get used to being the top overlord's girl. 

Just please, please, please let him prove you wrong…

[etoileee]

THINGS THAT SHOCKED ME IN MY PERCY JACKSON DR Ψ

— GREEK

listen okay I know this probably sounds stupid, but I didn't script anything to do with the greek language. It genuinely was so surprising that I could understand it to a certain extent.

My experience was similar to Percy's when he first got to the camp in lightning thief.

I don’t understand it fully of course, the closest thing I can describe it to is listening to brazilian portuguese as someone who speaks spanish, like I think I could have an entire conversation with them simply based on context clues and understanding about 40% or 50% percent.

It's almost a bit frustrating, like, ALMOST understanding it. it's a bit irritating in its way.

— TRAINING

I’m gonna make an entire image about this don’t worry it was so eventful LMAO

that shit was DIFFICULT! again to an extent it was almost instinctual, the way your body moves and having quick reflexes. it's a part of being a demigod, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to learn.

I didn’t expect it to come as naturally as it did, but I still obviously have a lot to learn.

the prophecy is the people who trained me I had my work cut out for me

— HOW CRAMPS ARE DEALT WITH

they do have things like advil and tylenol, but those surprisingly aren’t what are the post popular painkillers at camp half blood.

there are two options for medications that help with menstrual pain;

the hara cabin make these sugar pills that dissolve in your mouth, these have the same effects as a painkiller but are a lot easier to take then regular pills for us who can’t swallow pills (ME) I honestly like these a lot more than other painkillers.

another option is more long-term, these are from the apollo cabin. they have a specific herbal blend that helps with period cramps and they’ll give it to you to make into a tea and this helps decrease the pain of the cramps over time.

— CAPTURE THE FUCKING FLAG

LISTEN OKAY WE NOW ITS SERIOUS FROM THE BOOKS BUT GODDAMN. WAS IT EVER THAT SERIOUS?

like I don’t think you can understand how serious they take it till you shift there, I wanted to giggle but I quickly stfu when I realized it was life for death for these people. (not literally but it sure felt like it)

annabeth had to pull my ass with her because I was too scared to move around at one point LOL

— FOOD

BON APPÉTIT

the food is a mix of american comfort food, cuisine from around the world, and greek/ mediterranean food.

after training one of the days I genuinely was too sore and tired to get up, while I was lying on the grass jason got up to get me a sandwich and it was literally the best sandwich I've had. I've been thinking about it since I got back from my dr!

I don’t know if I was just so hungry and exhausted that it tasted like the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth but either way, I inhaled that sandwich

after both training and capturing the flag, there were tables full of snacks and food + water that was nice

[quinloki]

period sex and aftercare and /BUGGY/ are so big brained can i ask for those two plus dacryphilia with buggy and croco-baby and maybe a secret third character (your choice) if you feel up to it!!! Thank yooouuu!!! :o)

Alright, I got ONE MORE KINK ASK after this and I'll be all done with them \o/ Holy shit I can't believe how many asks I got for this (And how much fun I've had dealing with them.)

It helps a lot that I love kinks, kinky people, one piece characters, and learning/educating >.>

Alright we got Period Sex, Aftercare, Dacryphilia (the crying kink) - For Buggy and Sir Crocodile - and since you called him Croco-baby I'll add Donquixote Doflamingo to this.

I am surprised with as often as I feel like I've seen the crying kink pop up that I haven't already done it for ANY of these guy =O

And also yay \o/ AFTERCARE ASK \lol/

Go go alphabetical!

Buggy:

Period Sex - FUCK Yes - It's messy, it's red, it's kind of flashy actually, and Buggy loves it. You don't grow up on the most famous pirate ship in the world without being comfortable with all sorts of things. I feel like everyone under Roger's flag was, we'll say educated, and as such I can't see anyone from that crew being put off by menstruation.

Plus, orgasms are a cure for some, and there's one way to find out if it works for you to alleviate any cramping you may be feeling. You're going to be a complete mess by the time it's done though, Buggy's a little blood-lusty, surprisingly maybe, but he gets feral, and more so than with lipstick or makeup, he loves to "mark" you.

Aftercare - Oh god you don't even know - He is a terribly stressed clown, but I also think he's a big damned softie too. Buggy really is just as comfortable brushing your hair as he is ordering the crew around. Maybe more so, honestly. All that hair he has though, and that makeup he wears, the man's skin and hair care routines are on point as much as his eyeliner game. He will take care of you after every session, even if he subbing or bottoming some of it.

I think Buggy's desire to serve is almost as strong as Sanji's honestly. If you're an important person to him, he doesn't want to let you down, and he will devour your praises. But he's also The Captain™, and no matter what his role was, he's going to provide you proper aftercare.

Dacryphilia - No. - Sure sometimes tears happen. Sometimes you're so overwhelmed they slip out, sometimes you are chocking on the impressive package this man has. Sometimes tears happen, but Buggy doesn't like tears. He doesn't want to see you cry. If your makeup smears he wants it to be cause of sweat and pleasure and touch, not because you're crying. He's not even good at handling happy tears, let alone any other kind.

Buggy's more of let-him-do-the-crying-for-both-of-you type. He'd happily be the only one stressed to the ends of his capacity, than to have you worry. (Which probably worries you xD it's a bit of a cycle like that).

Sir Crocodile:

Period Sex - Yes - He doesn't mind the mess. The cause doesn't bother him. The only reason it doesn't rate higher is because it's hard to know if your period will heighten your pleasure or your pain - that lack of control bothers him, no matter how well or fast he can adjust accordingly.

He also doesn't see it as marking you the same way some others do. It's your blood, not his. It has a scent that isn't his or his cigars. If anything it's an annoyance because you should smell like him, and you shouldn't ever be hurt enough to smell like blood. You shouldn't be close enough to violence to even know what blood smells like, at least as far as he's concerned. But he'll soothe your cramps and discomfort in any way he can when it's that time.

Aftercare - Oh god you don't even know - As said before, Crocodile is all about control, and aftercare is required for control. You don't want to leave your little bottom/sub spiraling with all sorts of thoughts on their own. Whether we're talking toxic AU or not. Aside from the control though, he enjoys it. It's time to bond, to discuss, to connect. The more he knows about you the more control he can exert.

The more control you can hand over.

Plus, as beautiful as you are in his clutches, you're just as beautiful in his care.

Dacryphilia - FUCK Yes - Oh please cry for him. Sob in terror or pleasure or pain, he's not picky. Your face in tears is as lovely as your face contorted in pleasure. The only requirement is that those tears are his fault. No one else is allowed to make you cry.

As much as he will pull tears from you - and most sobs of pleasure as long as you're good - he'll kiss them away so sweetly. Brushing them aside so kindly, and with such praise.

Donquixote Doflamingo:

Period Sex - FUCK Yes - Not only is it a mess, it's a bloody mess. Doffy's a bit twisted and I can see him actually smearing the mess all over you while he's taking a break between railing you. He's not doing it so much to mark you, as he is to almost degrade you. He'll tell you how dirty you are, covered in blood and cum and tears - he 100% gets into degrading you during it.

Sometimes being on your period can make you more sensitive to pleasure, and sometimes it makes you more sensitive to pain - it doesn't matter as far as he's concerned. He'll get his pleasure at the least, and he'll enjoy turning you into a mess in the meantime.

Aftercare - Yes - Unless he's truly into you, don't take this as some kind of kindness. Aftercare is a good time to learn and bond, and for Doffy that generally means it's a great time to reinforce all his manipulations. It lets you think he cares (again, *maybe* he does), and pulls you closer into his grasp.

A truly skilled puppeteer doesn't necessarily hide the strings, he just makes sure you don't pay attention to them when you should be >.>

Dacryphilia - Oh god you don't even know - Cry for him, please. Crumble to pieces in pleasure, fear or pain - whatever it may be that you've earned at the point in time. If you're overwhelmed in pleasure he'll promise you such sweetness and devotion. If you're overwhelmed with fear he'll admonish you softly and forgive you magnanimously. If pain stains your face he'll have you begging for forgiveness, a forgiveness he'll bestow on you when he feels like it.

Perhaps after you've gone raw and hoarse from tears and begging.

Much like others who enjoy making their partners cry, it is a pleasure reserved entirely for him and no one else. Members of his immediate family may get an understanding pass, circumstances depending, but anyone beyond that is likely to be dealt with swiftly.

[tubbytarchia]

want to hear your thoughts on jimmy and joel. all your thoughts. all of them. across universes.

You ask you shall receive. I love them a lot

I can see them as a ship (and no Joel white knight can come at me when those two frequently engage in questionable exchanges) but mostly I see them as best friends with a brotherly bond. Joel is kinda similar to Martyn to me when thinking of Jimmy, where he's always been there and taken him for who he is and just fucked around, carefree. He's a mean bean but his banter doesn't give off maliciousness, to me he hasn't ever seemed as overstepping and making Jimmy genuinely upset

Unfortunately ESMP2 happened and it really pains me how much Joel drove the "toy Jimmy" bit into the ground, resulting in all the seriousness that Jimmy wasn't ever offered. Maybe Jimmy wouldn't have become as much of a joke as he was were it not for Joel. Maybe it would have all hurt a bit less if Joel hadn't built massive walls around Tumble Town. This does pain me always, but you know what, at least "bullying Jimmy" is not his shtick that he needs to rely on throughout various SMPs as much as it feels like certain other people do. He decided to lean into it this once wirh some thought that wasn't just "haha Jimmy sux!!" but unfortunately it devolved and absolutely everyone went along with his bit. But as far as Joel goes, from a brotherly sort of friendship perspective especially, this kind of teasing and banter is more excusable than it would be within a romantic ship etc, but regardless it still pains me lol

Aside from that though, they're buds... Joel I don't think could ever comfort Jimmy in any decent way just because of being the rabid creature that he is, even if he were to know of and understand Jimmy's horrors (to the best of his ability). But what matters is that he cares... He doesn't ever express this outwardly but he cares and that makes me happy and enjoy them as a duo. Things like how in Limited Life he really wanted to help Jimmy get some time to stay in the game longer and his downward red life spiral pretty much beginning with Jimmy's death. How in Secret Life he expresses confidence in Jimmy having his back, and how in spite of his anguish after Lizzie's death, he doesn't say anything to ruin Jimmy's fun upon him not being the first one out. Even when Jimmy's not there, all he says is "Jimmy's gloating about it, which is a weird thing to gloat about? But we have to give him every little win, don't we"

Also in 3rd Life, Jimmy kind of jokingly (I guess??) left a sign on Joel's property that just said "I miss you - Love from Solidarity" and I never stop thinking about it. It pains me a lot, especially when that came before the FH ordeal kicked into proper gear. It honestly reads like one last effort to get away from something awful that he's anticipating, for someone to help? Something something canary, he's sensing the danger. But Joel is stupid lol and I can't blame him for not paying that sign any mind. Anyway this is a stretch I just. I never stop thinking about it.........this reads like a cry for help..........

It genuinely surprises me when I think back to the traffic series' and realize how little Joel has made fun of Jimmy. Sure he laughs, with him it's more excusable because of their friendship, and yet somehow he doesn't make a fool of or comment on Jimmy's reputation as much as some others do. He doesn't seem to think Jimmy to be notably incompetent like some of the others do. Can't say too much on other SMPs because I've seen very little of them but the vibes seem to be more or less same. I love them a lot anon, I love them a lot... Joel, for a change, is someone Jimmy deserves (because he deserves someone who cares) and is fortunate to have, if only it weren't for all the unrelenting horrors that Joel can't really help with in any case. Pensive

[acourtofmenandthirst]

Then Go (Part II of II)

Cassian x Reader, in which Cassian leaves the Night Court to be with you. I don't think you guys are expecting this ending lol but it was pretty fun to write, not reflective of my thoughts on Tamlin's redemption arc ;) @azsazz came up with the ending (surprise surprise lol)

Part I here!

Word Count: 5.8K

Warnings: fighting (forgive the fight scene ok I hate those), character death

The flight back to Spring was tense. 

You and Cassian had only ever had a few arguments over the past couple years - petty squabbles, pointless arguments, superficial bickering - the two of you never had anything to truly fight about. Not that you were fighting, really, but he hadn’t spoken more than six sentences - fragments - in the past few hours. 

Even when you two had been at odds, Cassian never shied away; in fact, the male became even more vocal, if that was even possible, always voicing his thoughts and opinions, quipping at you with smartass remarks or snarky comments. 

But he hadn’t been speaking; it was… new to you. He came back to his bedchamber utterly beat. And you felt bad, deciding while he was gone talking to Rhys that you’d still pretend you were mad when he came back, sitting back against the headboard with your arms crossed over your chest, just as he left you - you’d let him make it up to you, make you forget all about his friends’ behavior. It was selfish of you, you realized, but Cassian would have been all too eager. 

Despite the minimal experience you’d had living with the mating bond, you knew immediately that something was wrong. Normally you felt butterflies through the bond, a fluttering beat, the warm compassion your mate sent you. You’d felt it gone cold, empty while he trained in the war camps, too afraid that it would be a distraction that could cost him his life, or that others could find out and use it against him - or you.

You’d never been in a fight, never served in the war - not like he had, protecting his friends, family, even mere strangers. You didn’t bear scars - not in the way he did, marking up each limb, mangled gashes that lingered over his neck and face, adorned every inch of his wings. He was a male that sacrificed far more than you ever thought possible, and had been on the brink of death too many times to count (too many times than you felt comfortable with, honestly). 

But the pain you’d felt that evening in the Night Court - it was the closest thing you could imagine to that pain, to the pain of being torn apart and your corpse cast aside. You felt your heart breaking, the string pulling so hard you thought you might throw up right on the bed. 

He needed help. 

You couldn’t even clamber to your feet fast enough as he appeared in the doorway, silent - so quiet that even the spymaster himself would have been proud. Barely any words were spoken, just a hauntingly sad glance exchanged between the two of you. It would have been better off if he hadn’t said anything at all. His voice sliced through the air, despite how quiet his words were. His voice was gruff, throat horse - not like the groggy Cassian, tired and not ready to wake up, it wasn’t the sad Cassian, voice cracking and strained. It must have been anger, the irate side of the male you had yet to see up close. “Let’s go.”

It was all he said, tone clipped and terse, that sent chills down your spine - and through the bond. 

You were quick to scramble to your feet, almost afraid to approach the male in his livid state. He appeared calm, arms stiff at his sides, but seething, chest rising and falling steadily, forced. Cassian was seeing red; he himself didn’t even know he had that amount of self restraint. 

And you’d felt bad - he’d wanted to introduce you to his friends - his family - since virtually the first day you met. 

So you weren’t fighting, but you felt guilty for letting him take you to Night. It was a fear you didn’t share with the male - not fully really. 

“What if they don’t like me?” What if they don’t like where I come from? 

Cassian brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “They’ll love you as I do, (Y/N).” His voice was nothing above a whisper, no hesitation, no doubt, no fear behind his reply.

You had a feeling they wouldn’t approve of your Spring heritage - hell, the prejudice of the Night Court Fae ran high in Spring, too. Many of the goers in your own home court didn’t like the fact an Illyrian soldier lingered in their court - you surely figured the Night Court would feel the same about you. It didn’t matter to any of them - Spring or Night - that the two of you were fated mates. He hadn’t cared about those strangers in Spring who passed him on the street - but you didn’t have an Inner Circle like his: friends and family that would protect him at any cost, even if that meant leaving his mate. 

Cassian chose you, though. Despite the faux protection Rhysand and Feyre offered him - they left him with the sour options. They were prepared for him to leave, they knew he would; otherwise, they wouldn’t have given him the choice. 

And you didn’t dare say those words, the ones you knew Cassian was waiting for you to utter: I told you so. 

That would hurt too much. 

You didn’t want to be right. Never in any world would you have wished this pain on your mate - the same pain he’d gone through however many years ago when his mother died, when he was teased endlessly in the camps about being a bastard. 

And hundreds of years later, he found himself in the same position: outcast, ostracized by his so-called family. 

The only thing that kept him sane was you - clinging to him for dear life as he raced through the courts back to Spring. You didn’t question him, but he knew you quietly understood what had happened between him and the High Lord and High Lady of his home court. He felt your panic through the bond once he’d left that conversation, answering the royalty of the court by turning on his heel and leaving. 

Nobody had tried to stop him, either.

Rhys and Feyre did not protest as the male made his way from the room. Not a peep from Morrigan or the other Archeron sisters, who were no doubt listening from the doorway. Cassian felt Lucien lingering, though, Cassian supposed he would be the one male who understood. Amren was nowhere to be seen, Azriel missing as well.

But a shadow swirled around Cassian’s ankle as he ascended the stairs back to his bedroom, a silent promise from his brother that he’d be visiting soon. 

Cassian had often been jealous of both of his brothers’ winnowing abilities - he hadn’t felt that way since he was a young male. But he had wished for nothing more in that moment, so he didn’t have to tread down the long halls with his tail tucked between his legs, a hound kicked out of his home. 

He landed not-so-gracefully at your front door, knees buckling as he staggered forward, trying his damndest to protect you from the force of impact. The dirt from the street kicked up around you, the dark muck swirling around you - Cassian wished it’d swallow him whole.

He didn’t know what to do. His younger self wanted to fly off without a trace, far north of Windhaven or the other Illyrian camps, punishing himself in the cold. He’d pick a fight with the largest tree he could find, punching the thick bark until his knuckles bled and his fingers broke. He’d fly low and fast, so close to the icy river that flecks of freezing water pricked his skin as the waves crashed through the ice shards below him. 

But you were there in his arms, limbs wrapped tightly around him, probably afraid he’d drop you. He flew so fast - he wasn’t sure he’d ever gone that fast while carrying another Fae in his arms, especially not one with such little flying experience. Your face was pressed tightly against his neck, your nose was cold from the windchill that graced the both of you. 

Cassian stood there, frozen, right in the middle of the village. He didn’t move - he didn’t know how to move; didn’t know where he should go, what he should do. It wasn’t until you pressed your lips against the frigid skin of his neck that he snapped out of his trance, clutching at you harder, fingers grasping the thick material of your dress. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to the crown of your head. 

Hundreds of years of friendship, thousands of battles fought together, millions of fights picked with each other. All traded in for a female he knew for almost just a decade. 

A decade he’d spent the better part of keeping you a secret from his family.

Perhaps on some level he expected this, knew how they would treat you.

Not that he doubted you - he hadn’t questioned your love for him, your dedication, your willingness to do the same for him. He didn’t question or curse the Mother, not when she gave him a lovely Spring female. 

Gods, he just felt so weird. 

Starting from scratch again. 

____________________________________

Cassian had to find something to busy himself with. 

He no longer had to tend to the Illyrian camps, no training with the Valkyries or battle strategies to hound over. 

But old habits die hard - he woke before the sun everyday, utterly exhausted. He wasn’t sleeping well, just reliving that terrible night in his head over and over - what he could have said differently, if he’d made the right choice. 

Of course, he’d made the right choice. Choosing you over those who were so ready to cast him out. He just regretted walking out the door without slamming his fist into his brother’s nose. 

Cassian suppressed a haggard sigh, shifting in bed to roll you off his chest. Your brows crinkled in confusion, discomfort at the slight change of position. You nuzzled your face into the fluffy pillow, falling back asleep before your mate pressed a soft kiss behind your ear. Cassian eased himself quietly off the bed, twisting and cracking his spine as he flexed his wings in the small room. 

Cassian loved your apartment. Quaint, cozy, warm - he’d never truly had a home. Not a house of his own, just staying at his brother’s houses. His mother’s house was burned to the ground when he’d returned for her - he didn’t have many memories of her or the home, but he imagined it would be much like yours: riddled with blankets, too small for his wings to sit upright on his back, a small fire that could somehow warm every room. You’d even gotten rid of most of your blooming plants, opting for just the lush green ones, as the pollen had him waking up with itchy eyes and a runny nose. 

He smiled softly as you reached for the pillow beside you, the other half of the bed still warm from where he laid with you. But he’d spend the morning training in the Spring forest, and would return home before you woke. 

He donned his Illyrian leathers - despite many attempts to leave them behind, he couldn’t find anything as comfortable to train in. No clothes could carry as many weapons, couldn’t keep him warm as he flew laps around the court. By the time he fully dressed and was out the door, the sun was already peeking through the town, orange light shining at the end of the street as Cassian took off in a run, sprinting through the town and making his way to the woods. 

He relished the time he could be alone, where the village was empty and there were no strangers, no Fae staring nor children pointing at his wings. Normally, the male was confident enough to push pass that all, or nicely answer questions when they stopped him in the street. You were always hanging on his arm, speaking kindly with your neighbors. Many of them were nice - simply interested in the foreign male - but there were a few that threw glares, and a couple territorial males that growled at him as they passed by.

But that’s why Cassian kept training - just in case. That, and he was a restless male.

He wove through the trees, pulling his heavy sword from where it laid snugly between his wings, and slashed at the drooping branches and thick vines. His wings unfurled behind him, dragging against the wind as they slowed him. They ached, spent too long curled up underneath him as he slept last night, they hung off the bed haphazardly on the other nights. Cassian smiled to himself, imagining a home the two of you could build together - big enough for him, cozy enough for you to fill with those green plants and comfy furniture. 

Cassian spent the morning throwing rocks and doing push-ups, climbing the rope-like vines and practicing his knife-throwing. He’d had half a mind to fashion himself an Illyrian bow - carve it from the thick bark of a healthy tree, strong enough to send the arrow even as far as the Night Court. 

He pulled his thick dark hair behind his head, tying the sweaty strands back with one of his leather bands. His ear twitched when he heard the rustling of the trees behind him. His wings shot up immediately, perked up behind him ready for a fight. The sun was almost fully up, rays of light shining through the tall trees. But the brush was dense, he couldn’t quite make out what was making the noise. 

“Azriel?” He called, stepping closer to the line of trees. His brother had a tendency to play tricks on him, attack him where he was least expecting. 

But he knew Azriel would have been silent. 

Cassian didn’t know what lingered in the Spring forest, the small and large creatures that lived amongst the flora. There was no answer, not even the continued rustling of leaves and dry sticks. The male’s eyes traced the outline of the thicket, unable to make out any threat. With a huff he stretched his wings and took to the skies, circling around the woods to cool off before he headed home. 

He pushed himself into the bedroom as you were just waking up, stretching in bed when he caught your eye. You smiled, the bond in your chest unfurling with warmth as he approached the bed. He bent over the mattress, offering you a kiss in greeting. You hummed a reply, curling your arms around his neck, trying to pull him back to bed. 

Cassian chuckled, hoisting you up instead. “Let me at least bathe before I take you in the bed,” he whispered against your lips, tucking an arm underneath your legs and holding you close to his chest. 

You smiled, nuzzling your neck against his dewy skin. “You do smell,” you mumbled, arms circling around his neck. “But I don’t care.” You pecked his cheek. “I don’t like waking up without you.”

Your mate huffed, kicking open the bathing room door. “You’re more than welcome to come train with me.” He set you on your feet and cupped your face, holding your jaw in his palms. You rose on your tiptoes, letting the male press a firm kiss to your lips. 

Your hands encircled his wrists, holding him still as you met him in the middle. “Then I’d smell just as bad as you - plus I need my rest. Besides, you always manage to find other ways to tire me out, after all.”

Cassian smiled, showing all his teeth. Nothing but pure adoration lacing his features. 

He found that each morning he saw your face shining in the rays of light peeking through your small bathroom window, the pain of leaving his court lessened each day. The bond in his chest was stronger than ever, constantly humming with activity and bursting with love. 

The two of you bathed each other, something that had become part of your sacred morning ritual. You shut your eyes and leaned your head back as he washed your hair, his fingertips running over the sensitive part of your scalp behind your ears. You washed his back and wings, paying special attention to where he’d always somehow managed to cake mud at the base of the wing where it stemmed from his back. 

You’d waited until you were mated - you’d picked up on the fact that despite their size, they were quite private. Always held high and proud, you admired them from a distance, afraid to even run your finger along the wide bone that stemmed from Cassian’s thick muscled back. It was months after you’d officially mated in secret - even after you’d rode through the frenzy. Cassian took your hand in his and traced everywhere he liked to be touched. So strange, having never even seen a male with wings, then to be mated to one. You didn’t know where to begin. 

The more time Cassian spent frequenting your small home in Spring, the more comfortable you grew with the wide leathery wings. You’d explored what made him tick - where to touch him to make him cum, how to oil the leather, how to properly wash them, which of his muscles were sore after a long flight, how to relieve the tension. Cassian eventually had trouble falling asleep in his home court, without your fingers mindlessly tracing patterns against the soft flesh. 

After your bath, your mate wrapped you in a plush robe, dressing himself in the soft sweater you’d gotten him as a birthday gift last year - a Spring evergreen color that brought out his eyes. You’d even taken one of his knives and sliced wing holes through the back and sewed buttons along the bottom. It was haphazard, not as precisely done as the thick ones he donned from the Illyrian Mountains. But he assured you that he loved it nonetheless. 

“Some tea, dear?” You asked, already filling the kettle for more than enough for two cups. 

He nodded in response, already slicing up the bread for breakfast. Cassian had a habit of preparing himself a cooking-snack, already digging into a plate of bread with jam and cheese as the eggs cooked on the stove. You weren’t sure he had a favorite meal of the day - every time he ate was damn near a feast. 

Though, you supposed you couldn’t complain. Your home was always stocked to the brim with fresh pastries, breads, the finest roasts, and more potatoes than you could count. 

You wouldn’t complain about his size, either. 

Cassian sneezed as soon as you opened the kitchen window, a small breeze blowing through the house. He rolled his shoulders back and continued to stuff a slice of cheese in his mouth before tending to the eggs. 

Your shoulders shook with a flinch as you heard a firm knock on the door, followed by what sounded like a kick. 

Cassian watched you, pausing mid-chew as his eyes flitted between you and the door. You held your hand up at him, stopping him in his tracks as he already started moving towards the living room. “Let me see.” Your mate cocked a brow, wiping his hands at his pants. But Cassian nodded, watching you stalk to the door. 

It wouldn’t be uncommon for your neighbors to visit, to bring you some extra pastries or flowers, to stop by for a chat or ask to borrow some flour. You were fairly certain some of the younger females came by to ogle at your mate, especially for a chance to see him when he’d cook shirtless. It never failed to make him blush and scramble for something - anything - to cover up with. 

But that morning, you didn’t expect to open the door and come face-to-face with the High Lord. 

His eyes were narrowed, jaw set and filling the frame of the door. His hands were balled into fists at his side, knuckles white in strain. Tamlin’s blond hair was long past his shoulders, where he normally kept it trimmed and tame, it was unruly, jagged edges frayed and burnt. 

Your heart stopped in your chest, stricken with fear when you met those piercing green eyes. Purple half circles laced his under eyes, dark marks carved into his high cheekbones. The white shirt he wore was frayed, dirtied, and hung loose on his frame. His eyes didn’t leave yours, not to search around your living room, not to Cassian who’d no doubt drawn his knives in the kitchen. Tamlin’s voice was like gravel. “I can smell him.” 

“High Lord, sir - I - ” You stuttered a response, offering him a half-assed curtsey. Your hands shook as you grabbed at your robe, pulling it tighter around yourself. 

Despite how much you’d wanted to defend him after your stint in the Night Court, you’d never actually met the male - never seen him up close, even. But he stood - absolutely raging - at your front door and you were shocked. 

You felt the heat of a familiar Illyrian approaching behind you, his wings splayed out for intimidation - for preparation, you thought, unsure of what fight was about to unfold at your front door. “You’re not welcome in my court.” Tamlin’s eyes flicked upwards, above your head, surely meeting where Cassian stood at your back. 

“She’s my mate,” Cassian began, gruffly but level. Not looking for a fight. “Where she goes, I go.”

Tamlin didn’t flinch. “She’s of the Spring Court - she’s mine.” 

You took a step away from the High Lord, right into the brick wall that was Cassian’s chest. His arms landed on your arms, warm hands wrapping around your shoulders. He held you firmly in front of him, against him - your heartbeats synced. Cassian’s calmness flooded through the bond, the peace before battle; alert, but ready. Ready to throw you out of the way should he so need to. 

“She’s not yours, not even because she’s Spring.” Cassian’s grip tightened as he leveled the High Lord in front of you; the one you’d dared to defend in front of his own High Lord and High Lady - of his previous court, he supposed. “I’m not here to cause any trouble.” He took a deep breath, one in which would allow him to force the next words out of him: “I am seeking refuge.”

To which Tamlin almost let out a huff of air - humor in his eyes. “Refuge,” he tested the word, grimacing at the bitter taste. “What do you know of refuge? And what about it in my court?” Tamlin drew his shoulders back. “You aided that bitch in destroying my - ”

Cassian ushered you out of the way, leaving you stumbling a few steps off in the living room as he approached the High Lord. “What you did to your own court - ”

Then Tamlin lunged. 

He drew his claws, sharp and jagged, aimed directly at Cassian’s face. But the Illyrian was too quick, drawing a hidden knife from his pants. 

You squinted - how he managed to hide that in his linen pants - 

Cassian’s wings splayed out behind him, balancing the male as he stepped backwards and threw the High Lord off of him, angling the blade between them, right under Tamlin’s jaw.

Tamlin pushed himself up on all fours - to be fair, you’d never seen his wolf form, only heard stories and rumors about the shifter male, but gods he was already animalistic enough. He jumped at Cassian again, who stumbled backwards through the doorway, and between Tamlins punches, he raised the knife upward, aiming right for his side. 

The High Lord squirmed away, the blade only narrowly meeting his skin. “Get away from me if you know what’s good for you,” Cassian growled, wings bent against the wooden boards of your front porch. You yelped, hands coming up to cover your mouth as you watched with wide eyes, the two males grappling and hitting each other before you. 

“Get out of my court,” Tamlin barked, reaching for Cassian’s throat. 

His claws never met your mate, Cassian had grabbed his wrist and twisted it to the side, awkwardly angling Tamlin’s arms, which only infuriated him further. “You’re out of practice,” Cassian spat. “Your court is a wreck.” Tamlin kicked his legs, scrambling to pull himself from his captor. Cassian kneed him in the gut, earning a cough from the shifter. “And you fight like a bitch.”

Tamlin bared his teeth, snapping at Cass. He reached for the blade tucked into his boot, to which Cassian kicked the male off him, onto the street below. Tamlin grabbed the blade and slashed, slicing through your mate’s sweater. Cassian returned the gesture, slicing at his chest, to which he drew blood from the High Lord. 

Cassian took a step back, admiring his warning cut, flaring his wings behind him. The dirt spurred around the males at the flap of his wings. He’d take to the air if that wouldn’t give him the unfair advantage. But the High Lord wouldn’t quit, he threw his knife straight for your mate.

The blade landed only in his shoulder, though, nothing the Lord of Bloodshed hadn’t dealt with before. And as Tamlin jumped for the Illyrian one last time, Cassian had no choice but to pull the knife from his wound and hold it straight before him, right to where Tamlin had thrown himself. 

The knife was sharp, he had to hand it to Tamlin. It sank easily into him, into that stone cold heart he’d heard so much about.

The High Lord’s hands didn’t even grasp his shoulders as he slumped before the warrior, body sagging before him at his feet. 

You felt the bond quiver, the utter shock Cassian felt at the action. You were frozen in the doorway, beyond belief with how quickly that escalated - you couldn’t even process it.

Neither could your mate.

Cassian stood over the blond male, laying bloody and limp on the dirt road before him. 

It wasn’t the first male he’d killed.

It surely wouldn’t be the last.

He felt your arms around him, you’d flung yourself to his side. You wove your arms around his chest, burying your face into the crook of his arm. Your racing heart leached through the bond, racing at a pace similar to his own. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the fallen High Lord - the one who he had killed. 

He clutched at your back, fisting the plushy robe as he dropped to his knees. His chest constricted as if his lungs collapsed, 

A panic attack, his mind was reeling, his heart beating so fast he was sure he’d choke on his own blood surging through his veins. What a fucking perfect time. He’d come to terms with his role many centuries ago - warlord, killing for the goodness of others. 

He’d just killed Tamlin. 

His body felt heavy, the weight on his shoulders suddenly soul crushing. 

Cassian raised his head as your hands clutched his shoulders. His heart hammered in his chest. His eyes raised from Tamlin’s cold body, but not to you - to everyone else. The neighbors had trickled out of their homes, standing along the sidewalk and in the grass. Some with their jaws agape, others holding onto their loved ones, a few crying, even fewer smiling. 

Your mate watched as one by one, they bowed. 

Tamlin had no kin. No family left, no lineage, no appointed heir from the Mother. 

Cassian had become High Lord of the Spring Court. 

“Fuck.”

____________________________________

You took Cassian to the Spring Court estate a few days later. His shoulder had healed in the meantime, which gave him the time to convince him to settle into his new role. It took a lot of initial processing, plenty of overthinking, and many hours spent pacing around your small cottage. The male was in utter disbelief - “is this even possible?” “I don’t want to be High Lord.” “I didn’t mean to kill him.”

He was confused… scared, even, you could see it. 

Shit, it would be a lie to say you weren’t.

But all you could do was take it one step at a time. The Mother chose this path for him, and he had no other choice but to accept it. 

You walked hand in hand through the destroyed estate, the fallen walls and piles of stones along the floor. The furniture had molded, what with the rain that fell through the holes in the ceiling, your footsteps didn’t even make an echo with how much debris lay around the halls. Creatures skitted through the rooms, slithering and burrowing between piles of rocks and destroyed foliage. Just a testament to how much there was to rebuild. 

“What do I know about being High Lord?” 

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “What did Feyre know about becoming High Lady? She couldn’t even read.”

Cassian gave you a flat look. “She’s still my friend, you know.”

“Is she?” You challenged his gaze. “She and her mate kicked you out of your court - your home -”

“They didn’t kick me out.” Cassian stopped in his tracks, holding up his hand to correct you - and you arched a brow at him. “I left.” You pressed your lips together. “I want to build my home here, with you.”

You smiled, stepping close enough to him that your elbows brushed against his sternum. “You’re not saying that because you have to, right? Now that you’re stuck here with me?” You couldn’t hide your teasing smile.

Cassian smiled behind a breathy laugh, the first genuine one you’d heard in about a week. “Not because I have to.” He pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, curling an arm around you as you two continued roaming the ruins of what you supposed would be your new home. 

“Are you going to talk to them?”

He knew exactly who you were talking about. But he only offered a shrug. “I guess I have to, huh?”

“You don’t have to… I’m not really sure how all this works.” You chewed on the inside of your cheek. You wished you had better answers, you wished you could comfort your mate with the truth. But you didn’t know what would happen, you didn’t know the first thing about court royalty. 

You hadn’t heard anything from the Night Court, uncharacteristic, you thought, considering their constant meddling in the past. Lucien had sent word to Cassian, the second day after the Spring Court title had shifted, offering himself as emissary to the Night Court. Nothing much from Autumn, nor Winter. Helion, of course, sent congratulations along with an invitation for dinner and more - he was pleased his ‘good friend’ Cassian had joined their club.

Cassian felt the air shift, the cold that washed over him as a dark misty shadow curled around his ankle. He peered over his shoulder, meeting the cobalt siphons behind him.

You eyed the other Illyrian, offering him a nod of your head in greeting. He mirrored the gesture. 

“I’m going to the gallery,” you offered, turning from Cassian and his brother, quietly making your way down the hall. Cassian sent a strum through the bond, thanking you, and offering a promise that he’d join you momentarily. 

“High Lord?” Azriel teased once you’d disappeared down the corridor, offering a mock bow to his brother.

“You’ve been spying on me?” 

Az shrugged. “I have eyes everywhere. Not specifically on you.” Cassian smiled. “I’ve seen far too much of you in my lifetime.”

“Did Rhysand send you?”

Azriel shook his head. “He doesn’t know I’m here.” But as his brother was uncharacteristically quiet, the Shadowsinger continued. “Trading in Lord of Bloodshed for High Lord of Spring then?”

Cassian rolled his eyes and punched him in the shoulder, a bit too hard. “I think I prefer the first one,” he grumbled. 

Azriel eyed his brother, watching how he gnawed on his lower lip and how his hazel eyes flitted around the room. “You’ll be fine, Cassian. You’ve won too many wars to count and led how many soldiers into battle?” Az clapped a hand on his back. “You weren’t General of the Night Court Armies for nothing… consider this a promotion.”

Cassian rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. “Yeah well I suppose I’ll be meeting with my colleagues soon enough.” The dread dripped off his voice. He scratched the back of his head, running his hands through his tangled black hair. “I suppose I’ll be needing a shadowsinger, if you’re interested in warmer weather and a bit more sunshine.”

Azriel smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind, brother.” With a ruffle of his wings, Az prepared himself to winnow out. Cassian was sure Rhysand would have his head if he found out he spent too long in the Spring Court - or with him. “Good luck.”

Cassian bid Azriel goodbye and made his way through the estate halls, kicking the crumbled stones and stepping harshly over the broken glass. He watched the dust pool up in the corners as he wandered the corridor, crossing into the gallery. His eyes washed over the shredded canvas, greens, purples, blues - no red. He recognized Feyre’s art - he’d seen enough of it throughout the River House… and the Town House and the House of Wind.

All of her works were ripped up, clawed through until there was nothing but colorful cloth strewn about the marble floor. The art that remained hung on the walls showed the expanses of the Spring forests, sparkling lakes, and vast meadows. Perhaps one day Cassian would make it out to explore the landscape. 

He found you in the corner of the gallery, where the windows had been broken out and the forest started growing in. The vines and trees crawled through the room, ivy growing along the stone walls and bright flowers blooming in the shrubbery. He rubbed the tears away from the corner of his eye before approaching you.

“I know it’s not much,” you sighed, gazing up at the painting of the orange poppy fields that hung high on the wall. “But it’s Spring…” You felt Cassian wrap his arms around your waist, holding you tightly, back pressed against his chest. Your fingers trailed over his forearms, tracing over the rigid muscle before burying his hands in yours. “It’s home.”

“It’s my home, too. The Illyrian Steppes are too cold anyway.” He nuzzled his nose into your neck, pressing a kiss to your pulse point.

“We’ll have to do something about your allergies, though.”

He groaned. “I don’t have allergies.”

“My whole neck is covered in your drippings.”

Cassian wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “There’s nothing coming out of my nose - I don't know what you’re talking about.” You twisted in his grasp, wrapping your arms around his large waist. He shrugged his wings, blinking a few times to clear the fog from his itchy eyes. 

Damn the Spring Court. It couldn’t have been the Summer or Dawn Court? 

He had to be the High Lord of a court he was godsdamned allergic to.

[lightlycareless]

How strict is Naoya in his parenting style and how might that appear when he’s parenting the child he’s chosen to succeed him? I’m sure it’ll look different than how Naobito treated him but I also wonder if he’d have struggles falling into old patterns on occasion

Hello!

Another interesting ask 👀👀 One I haven't wondered to myself, always thinking that he'd be like, spoiling his kids rotten... but anyways!!!

If we’re talking about the version of Naoya that doesn’t care about anything else but himself, then yeah, he’s going to be super strict + detached. You cannot force him to care and will undoubtedly replicate the things he saw when growing up to his kid; his children are going to hate him, and I think… Naoya might hate them too.

However, we’re talking about a man that has you as his wife, whom he loves very much and has slowly begun to change for the better, learning that he too is deserving of happiness and capable of harboring such feeling, which he tries his best to extend over to his children 😊

It’s not easy, certainly not with someone as the Zen’in as relatives, but he does his best to raise them in an environment vastly different from his. And if there’s a silver lining to all this, is that he has such bad examples around him, that he knows what not to do lol.

The real issue here is when it comes to putting down boundaries, in other words, dealing with the consequences of their never-ending, unrestricted doting.

I mean, there was no way they knew it would be difficult, right? Everything had been nothing but smooth sailing when (for example’s sake) Naomi was a baby! She was just an adorable toddler, as well as their first child, so they had to give her all that she wanted, and more; besides, she was too young to know any better, and as first-time parents, you deserved to do this!

What could go wrong?

The two would soon find out the moment she begins to walk, talk, and, you know… everything else.

Because Naoya and you had spoiled/doted on her so much, she thinks that your warnings are, well, playful suggestions; and it becomes difficult to get her to understand that you two were being serious…

Leaving the two with no other option than to look into punishments.

I think this oneshot is the perfect example of what would happen when Naomi does get grounded, as well as everyone’s surprise from the fact the two actually kept their word and did it.

Because of her spoiled, and lenient upbringing, Naomi is exaggeratedly sorrowful. Straight up miserable which leads her to isolate herself from her parents, upset that they would “betray” her like this, which honestly makes Naoya and you feel like an absolute piece of shit, heavily debating whether to just save her from being grounded and move on!

However, you both decided against it after coming to the conclusion that this was, in the long term, for her good.

Yes, it definitely hurts to see her avoid the two, and yes, sometimes you’ll cut her “sentence” a bit shorter… but you always do your best to explain why she’s being grounded in the first place; one of the many things Naoya does differently from Naobito, and while it takes a while for her to get it, they eventually bear fruits.

Over all, the Zen’in clan is astonished that someone as Naoya was capable of raising such a well-mannered child (considering his upbringing and what seemed to be hers at that point.) but no one will deny that they’re relieved she’s not bound to be as crazy as her father was.

She’s still a child of course, so expect a lot of mischief here and there, but nothing too crazy—that’s for the youngest of your kids 🤭

Now, referring to the “old patterns” section… Yes. As any human, Naoya will undoubtedly fall into his old self from time to time, when it happens the first time though the reaction to it will be so, so painful to him, he’s actively going to avoid his children because he thinks of himself as a “danger to them.”

But that’s the beauty of families; you both have each other for support, so when he doubts himself, you’ll be there to lift him up and reassure him he’s a good father—and vice versa—by reminding him that it was not intentional, and him knowing such proves it all together.

These things don’t happen very often after years go by, if anything the two just become more lenient, when the rest of your kids bring it up, Naoya will quickly jump to deny it lol.

I believe the only places he’d be very strict though would be when naming his successor and training them to be sorcerers—but it’s all because he knows the dangers such responsibilities entail, and he wouldn’t want any of his children to be unprepared to face them.

So, the final conclusion is: while Naoya will be highly doting of his children, spoiling them with whatever they want whenever they want it, he’ll still manage (although very, very hardly, to his very best) to be strict when needed, but never borderline abusive—he’s at a point where he wants to give them only the best.

Doesn’t stop them from being mischievous little devils, but they’re all lovable, nonetheless.

Extra: he’d be a total soccer mom. The way he gets into it is kinda scary, but not unexpected, he is highly competitive after all…

Y’all sending me these asks have me very very happy, ngl. Thank you so much for indulging me, you literally how over the moon I am to know there’s people that like what I do :’)

Thank you so much for sending in this ask! I hope you have a wonderful weekend, take care and hope to see you soon!

[duusheen]

oc deep dive with hope pollock! 😤 thank you for the tag @theosconfessions and @bloomingkyras <3

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Being alone, I guess. Hope has this romantic and idealized view of love because her parents have been together for so long that she grew up with it and she's like "wow, I want that too", so that's why she stayed with Danny all this time (because let's face it, everyone could see it except her)

Do they have any pet peeves? The lack of commitment. She simply detests people who are not capable of committing to their loved ones. In part, I guess it's because she is too compliant. She gives her all without expecting anything in return and sometimes people take advantage of her

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? Lots and lots of cat toys, her clothes on the floor and chairs (that's my messy girl) and probably a cat sleeping on top of the clothes.

What do they notice first in a person? She usually judges people by the way they treat others, especially girls 👀

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? Meh, 4. She is the first daughter of a teen couple and the ultimate daddy's girl. Jay and Miracle practically wrapped her in bubble wrap for her entire life. Hope was protected by her parents much more than her sisters, and her tolerance for anything that hurts her is really low

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? I'd say she would fight? but seeing that she found Danny with his lover and ran straight to her parents' house… lol. She's definitely the kind of girl who would disappear without even leaving a note. "I don't like this bye" kinda girl.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? It depends on what is considered a "big family". She has three sisters, but her grandpa had 6 children, so you could say almost lol. That said, she is a family girl. If it were up to her, she would build a house on her parents' ranch and live there until she's old and gray.

What animal represents them best? A penguin? 😂🐧

What is a smell that they dislike? The smell of the disinfectant they use at the vet to clean the floors 🤢

Have they broken any bones? Never. I don't think she even scraped her knee as a child 🙄

How would a stranger likely describe them? I guess shy. But if the person in front of her shows up with an animal, Hope immediately becomes all chatty and excited. Nothing like a pet to break the ice (honestly me)

Are they a night owl or a morning bird? morning bird. Her routine starts every day at 6:00 a.m.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? She likes the deep taste of black coffee, and hates anything bitter.

Do they have any hobbies? Whenever she has a free moment, she likes to sit down and browse the Simflix catalog because her favorite thing is to sit and watch series.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? She would smile, pretend she's grateful for a total of five minutes and then hide in the bathroom to mentally prepare herself to be the center of attention until the party ends. After that, she'd probably relax and be okay.

Do they like to wear jewelry? She has her grandma Daphne's silver rings. She never goes anywhere without them; they're her lucky charm :')

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? Her handwriting was pretty neat in school, but now it's just a mess.

What are two emotions they feel the most? Inadequate and tired, as if she's trying to catch up with everyone's expectations.

Do they have a favorite fabric? Leather 😳. Not for anything special, but because it's the fabric where cat hair sticks the least.

What kind of accent do they have? She grew up on a ranch in Chestnut Ridge, so I like to think she has the sexiest country accent 😌

i tag: @aurorangen @theosconfessions (gimme some blake info please i miss him 👀) @ktysh @cupidszone @akitasimblr @awkwardwhims @aliengirl but feel free to ignore 😁💖

[slytherintheundercroft]

Secret Potion - Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Okay, this is my first go at a one shot, we'll se how it goes??? Hope you guys enjoy it! Lmk what you think!

Word count: 2.6k

Mostly fluff, (a little bit of a slower burning one sorry, LOL)

Y/N:

Classes for the day had finally ended, so you begin your venture outside, leaving through the Northern exit gate.

After a bit of a lengthy walk, find yourself along the edge of the Forbidden Forest. You're eagerly looking for the last ingredient for a potion you’ve been quite determined to make, despite your lack of skill in the subject. As you take some steps a bit further on the trail, deeper into the woods, you spot some. “Perfect!” you shout, “Ashwinder eggs!”

Once you’ve got them stowed away in your bag, you look little ways ahead, spotting a very familiar face. Your walk turns to more of a jog, as you catch up to him. "Sebastian?" you shouted. He turns to you with a surprised smile. "Y/N! What in Merlin's name are you doing out here?"

"Well.." you gesture, "I guess I could be asking you the same thing!"

"Touché." He chuckles. "Honestly, I just felt like getting some fresh air, and being surrounded by trees really makes it easier to relax" he said, his voice warm and inviting. "You know how it gets being stuck in that castle, especially once classes let out. All the noise and crowds in the halls, with everyone mingling and rushing around. I just needed to get away for a while, I suppose. Does that sound crazy?"

"No, it doesn't sounds crazy at all" you assured him. It was nice, you thought. To be so lucky... spending a bit of time alone with Sebastian, and so far from the school. You attempt to shake the idea from your head, trying to keep yourself composed. No, he obviously doesn't even think about you that way, anyways.

You had been so lost in your own mind while walking, that you had completely stopped paying attention to where you were going. You had seemed to be a great deal deeper into the forest than you would have hoped, and you start to notice the plethora of spiderwebs and scattered bones all around. And Sebastian was nowhere to be seen, where had he gone to? Shit. You began to worry a little, holding a tight grip on your wand, in the unfortunate instance of any unexpected attack.

While doing your best to find a way back and avoid trouble, you hear a loud snap from behind you, and chills instantly run up your spine. You ready your wand and turn to face the monster with a quick spell, only to be surprised, and closely met with Sebastian's tall stature. "Woah, please don't do anything hasty!" he yelled, quickly raising his hands into the air. You throw your wand to the ground in total shock. "Bloody hell, Sebastian! Don't sneak up like that! I nearly turned you to dust!" you gasped.

He lets out a relieved, yet playful laugh. "Ha! I would have countered any spell you'd have thrown at me anyway, I'm not worried" he smirks, proudly. You roll your eyes and let out an irritated groan, swiftly picking your wand up off of the ground. "Where had you gone to, anyway?" you question. Looking at you as if you were joking. "Actually," He replies "I had stopped to catch some lacewing flies from a nearby brush, I had even said it directly to you, Y/N. You were the one who seemed to walk off. Something on your mind, hm?" he pressed. As cute and charming as he was, he could still be such a pain. He stepped a bit closer, reaching out his hand in a gesture for you to follow him s bit more safely. "Look, I'm sorry I startled you.. Didn't exactly want to draw any attention, seeing as you wandered right into a spider lair..." He said, apologetically.

"Yeah, I suppose you do have a point, there.." You say, accepting his gesture, taking his hand and following him out of wherever it was you had ended up. His hand, you thought. It was so gentle.. and soft...

You quickly retracted your hand away from his, once again stopping yourself from thinking those silly thoughts. "I'll be okay, I won't run off again" you joke, letting out a small chuckle. He laughs to you at the remark, and you both walk on for a while without much conversation, as you could now see the sun was beginning to set in the distance.

"So," he lead off "my inquiry from earlier... What was it you had come out here for, Y/N?" You felt yourself blush a bit at the question, not expecting him to be asking it again. "Oh!" you blurt out. "It's... for a potion, just an extra credit assignment for potions class! I need the extra practice" you said through an exaggerated laugh, knowing that it was only half true.

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and just a shred of disbelief, but gave you the benefit of the doubt anyway. "Ah, a little project, eh? I can't say I know much about potions, but I'm always eager to help with any homework you might have, all you have to do is ask!" He said, giving you a friendly smile, as you nodded and smiled back.

You had both finally begun to trudge up the school grounds, the sun now entirely set and the moon already making it's way up the horizon. He pushed the large door open. "Ladies first" he insists, motioning his hand toward you, then to the open doorway. You walk together through a few halls, making your way towards the potions classroom. "Really though," he persisted "I'm always here when a friend of mine is in need, so don't hesitate to ask if you need any help with that potion."

Ah, there it is. "Of course, yeah! Friends" you said in a small, forced laugh. Even though, in your mind, you've always wished you two could have been more than friends.

You both slow to a stop, standing in the middle of a near-empty Central Hall. "Well," you say, as you pat your hands to your sides, rolling back and forth on your heels "I guess I'll go and work on this experiment, er- project in the potions classroom. Maybe I'll see you around?"

Sebastian's smile never faltered, but there was a slight hint of disappointment in his eyes at your indirect refusal of his offer to help. "You certainly will," he nodded "don't let me keep you." He gave a small, farewell wave as you parted ways, and you gave a him a scrunched smile.

Quickly, you stumble into the empty classroom, closing the door behind you. You lean against the door and let out a big sigh, one that almost felt like the first breath you'd taken in over an hour. You make your way over to a cauldron, opening a potion book and flipping to a page titled "Amortentia: The Love Potion". You hoped you could pull this off, let alone on your own. You studied the instructions carefully, making sure to add in the ingredients as directed on the page. It really was a rather difficult potion to brew, and the ingredients to find, most likely to discourage students from using it excessively.

This could take a while, you pondered.

Sebastian:

I waited, watching her walk to the potions classroom until she was no longer in sight. I let out a deep sigh, and then turned to head to the library. Why not catch up on a bit of reading? Might distract me from these things I keep feeling, for a while, at least. I open the door to the library, which also seems to be entirely vacant. I make my way over to the small section that houses romance novels, as they're one of my guilty pleasures. They're much easier to read when no one is around to poke fun about it.

I grab the first one I see, not caring which it is, considering I've already read them all anyway. I sit in my favorite spot in front of the warm fireplace, and flip to the first page of the book. I read through it for a good while, but for some reason, I just can't seem to focus on the words. All I can seem to wonder about is how she must be doing with that potion. And why did it seem so secret, anyway? It must really mean a lot to her, to have to be brewing it so late, especially on a night where we still have classes tomorrow. Maybe I could go check up on her? See how it's coming along? If she is still even there, that is.

I close the book with a clap, and gently place it back on the shelf. As I head towards the classroom, I feel my heart rate increase. I'm not nervous... Am I? I walk up to the door, but I hesitate to even open it. Should I open it? Gah, I think to myself, why am I so bloody nervous? Merlin's beard, Y/N... What are you doing to me? Okay, okay.. be cool.

When I opened the door a crack, I could smell the bubbling cauldron. It smelled rather... nice? Usually, in my opinion, the potions we make in class smell a tad awful. Hm. I walk over toward her, trying to be less sneaky to avoid startling her again. She does look so focused though, it's quite admirable. "Hm, how's the potion making going? I say, clearing my throat to break the silence.

Y/N:

"Ah! Sebastian!" I gasp, not expecting him of all people to come waltzing in here. I swiftly turned around to face him, trying my best to conceal the open book and the ingredients I had laid out on the table. I felt my face grow hot and red.

He was looking at me, smiling in that irresistible and slightly smug way he always does. "Hey now, what do we have here?" he asked, while his eyes seemed to travel to the table, and everything on it. He picked up the book, even putting on a show of pretending to read the instructions. "Hmm... Amortentia, is it? I've always wondered how to brew that one. Is it really for an assignment, Y/N? Or do you plan on... Persuading somebody?" he snickered. "Oh c'mon, you know I'm only joking! But in all honesty, is this truly for an assignment, Y/N? It's quite late to be toiling away over a cauldron, and on a school night, no less." he teased.

My face seemed to somehow feel more blushed than it already was. I reached to snag the book from him, and I turned away. I feel so embarrassed. He can't find out I'm making this to give him. "It's nothing, like I said... Just something to try and get a little extra credit in the class. You know my potions aren't all that exemplary." I lied right through my teeth. I don't even know if I sounded convincing..

"Really? From what I've read about this potion, it has quite a strong impact. If you have been assigned such a potion, I think I deserve some of the extra credit for helping you, in the event it works too well" he winked, keeping that coy smile on his face. "So, how are you going to see if it works? If you've brewed it properly?" he asked, sounding a bit more serious about his curiosity now.

I look to him, then to the cauldron with hesitation. I lean over the bubbling potion, breathing in all the different aromas.

"It smells like... the forest.. a small hint of fire... and.. old book pages..."

I backed away, the intoxicating scents almost too addicting to pull away from. He looked at me surprised, then raised his eyebrow, revealing that cunning smile again. "Is that so? Fascinating." he grinned. "I mean from what I've read, it affects people differently, in a more personal way, depending on what attracts them and what they like. So, this is how you describe it, hmm? A forest, fire, and..." Sebastian caught himself before he said, "books." but he did a poor job of hiding his excitement. "A very nice combination, if you ask me."

I look up at him, now feeling like I had mistakenly given too much away.

"Yeah.." I mumbled, clearing my throat. "Ha, I must have messed the potion up, those scents can't be right..." I lied through a falsely confident smile. "Guess I'll just have to try brewing it again!" I chuckled anxiously. I hoped that would tip him off enough from his suspicions.

I sensed he wasn't buying it, not even for a second. "Of course. If it were easy, everyone would be walking around on love potions, I'd say." he snickered, walking toward me, placing both hands on the table on either side of me. "Well, now I'm curious.." he said, slightly leaning forward, "If that's what doesn't attract you, then what does?" he looked eager to hear my answer.

I felt too choked up for words, and I seemed to run dry of any excuses to give. "I.. um.. I don't have to tell you that..." I murmured nervously, my back now against the table. I watched as his smile seemed to grow. He leaned in closer, our faces only being a few inches apart. "You don't?" he spoke, softly. He sounded so smug and confident. His eyes were now directly meeting mine, his gaze was unwavering, and he showed a bit of exhilaration in his smile. "And why is that?" He stared, gently.

I could feel my body temperature rising at the question, and I shakily drew in a breath. "W-why, why would you need to know?" I glance down, catching my breath, looking at his hands on either side of me grabbing the table, and looking back up at him. I felt almost dizzy at our closeness. "Oh, it's not that I need to know." he smirked, "But I want to know." His voice dropped to a whisper. He moved just a fraction closer. "Tell me" he quietly said, almost sounding demanding.

At this point, I was completely flustered by his presence. I could feel his breath, and I could smell the faint fire-y pine scent in the warmth radiating off of him. "Sebastian...." I trembled, my legs nearly buckling at the situation I now seemed to find myself in.

His face was so near to me now, that I could see each individual freckle on his nose, and I took notice of his soft, pink lips. His breath was warm, and our eyes seemed to be fixed on one another. "Hmm?" He let out, it was obvious he was waiting for an answer. He kept his smile, his lips parting ever so slightly. He got so close, I could swear I felt electricity running through my body. "Say it." He whispered, his voice sounding husky. "Tell me." I felt his breath on my lips.

Any hesitation within me had seemed to disappear, I couldn't take this any longer. I reached for the back of his neck, and pulled him in to kiss me. He seemed to be taken by surprise, but he quickly gave in. He put his hand on my lower back, pulling me deeper into the kiss, while keeping his other hand still holding the edge of the table. We seemed to keep this position for what seemed like an eternity. A constant and passionate stream of kisses between us, the moment growing more intense as our hearts began to beat faster and faster.

He slowly pulled his mouth away, both of us breathing heavily to catch a breath. His lips parted as he whispered, "I knew it."

"Guess I didn't have to use that potion after all, did I?" I giggled.

"Oh Y/N, come here." he growled, pulling me into him for more.

[kroosluvr]

i'm genuinely curious I WANT YOU to outline how the shu/ake/sumi romance/and-or/situationship would unfurl in a post-p5r reality (where akechi lives, of course). what are the bullet points for what would happen between them. would they have a falling out. are they doomed. would they be horrible at communicating. would they finally be good at it. which pairing comes together first, if any at all. or would all 3 pairings happen at the same time at the same pace. or are they all in a limbo, not romantic nor platonic but a secret third thing.

OMG HI. HIIIII ok so. i havent actually thought about it that much (SURPRISING I KNOW) because i honestly suck ass at timelines (in regards to canon. tennis au on the other hand...) BUT I WILL DO MY BEST a lot of this is loose too.... im totally up for most anything but this is how i see it most of hte time heheeh (TY FOR THE ASK I LOVE THINKIJGN ABT THESE 3.)

this is .. kinda.. long.. ahem

pre-p5r: sumire is acquainted with goro thru her dad's show: they're not friends, but she's talked with him more than her sister. so when goro meets 'kasumi' at the cafe something strikes him as odd but it doesn't quite register: like ehhhh well why should i care / maybe my memory is just wrong / not worth my time

during p5r: 'kasumi' has a crush on akira, a kind of on-the-surface adoration of "wow i think you're really cool and we get along well!" nothing that's super advanced on or anything, and akira doesn't see her as anything beyond friends anyway.

she drops the crush upon reverting back to sumire, and it builds slowly over the course of 3rd sem but is also never really actualized - like she likes him ok whatever but then what..??

3rd sem (long winter au): long winter barebones: maruki's idealized world starts like on christmas or smth (havent thought this out TOO much LOL) and royaltrio-centric part of 3rd sem lasts for quite a while, at least 3 weeks-1 month. how does this work w the timeline i have no idea. BUT it leads to tense moments like spending new years together with the idealized thieves and trying to stay upbeat during all that, all the attempts and failures at breaking them out of it, and a LOT of tension during this time.

they argue and fight and are irritated with each other a lot of the time (goro the most vocal abt it obviously, sumire kind of drawing back into herself, and akira doing his best to stay optimistic. i think when akira starts to lose his spark is when the others r like oh we gotta make up for that slack and they finally up their game a bit) and yeah even sumire argues with akira and with goro and etc. im figuring this out PROMSIE ill come up w stuff and draw comic/write fic for it...

also 1/9 sumire fight is probably the beginning moment when goro starts to respect sumire more/see her more as a friend/comrade than a teammate. bc she almost kills joker and then him LMAO really giving them a run for their money... and also he really sees the pain she feels at being herself and resonates with it, either unconsciously or consciously

also upon seeing her Past broadcasted on maruki live television:tm: he makes the connection and is like oh so that's what happened. so all this time she was just masquerading as someone else. hmmm

anyway they're all very fragile and scared and sad during 3rd sem so they stick to eachother closely bc they're all they got to lean on. i think they have a lot of skinship during this time? handholding hugs leaning on each other sleeping in the same room (they hang out at leblanc A LOT bc 1) they're kind of afraid of being alone during this time 2) they're afraid of the OTHERS being alone during this time 3) leblanc is "untouched", compared to other parts of maruki's reality. can u imagine if even goro's apartment suddenly became nice overnight LMAO) but its like no feelings attached, just pure comfort kinda thing

kissing could also happen during this time but also no feelings attached, purely Why the hell not etc sort of vibe.

also goro and sumire get on first name basis during this time. this comic i drew w goro dying in my head which is Why he initiates first-name basis, but we can operate off the idea that he thought he'd die but somehow magically didnt. YAY!

but they have impeccable communication w each other and are very honest with their feelings. (goro avoids talking about his past tho. so maybe not THAT honest.) but they all achieve a really strong understanding of each other to survive maruki's winter wonderland...

i do think they develop feelings for each other during this time but they're all confused whether it's feelings of like comfort/security with each other or like romance/yay. so like nightmare situationship basically. so they all individually decide to hold on to this happiness while it lasts bc they sure as hell know it won't last (when have any of them been able to keep good things)

3rd sem: the thieves join yay! i think they'd notice that the 3 of them have become very close-knit (bouncing off eachother insanely well in battle, talk to eachother casually, and are generally pretty affectionate with each other. weird but ok! at least they (akira goro.) aren't trying to kill each other all the time.

this is also nice for sumire bc she had those 3-4 weeks to kinda Figure herself (sumire) out btwn akira and goro so she's less like down in the dumps about not being 'kasumi' anymore and more secure in herself and stuff like that. yay!

they beat maruki and stuff. YAY!

post-p5r: akira moves back to his hometown for 3rd year of highschool and college, goro is who-knows-where (i imagine he gets back on his feet of his own making and then goes abroad for school somehow. idk just seems like smth he'd do esp since i think he'd avoid everyone during this time) and sumire stays at shujin for 2-3rd year, then probably goes to a uni in japan but goes abroad for 1-2 yrs (gymnastics and etc.)

the "goro doesn't die and reunites with akira/sumi" timeline

goro, walking into leblanc on 2/4 or whatever: hi guys i didn't die actually

sumire: haha why would u silly? lol

akira: WHAT THE FUCK

the end.

i think they do go to separate universities though and theyre like damn wait i miss those guys but they go thru school and keep pretty decent contact w each other and see each other during vacations and stuff when they can and then when they come back to tokyo it's like no time has passed btwn them and they just pick up where 3rd sem left off but like better and happier and more peaceful. YAY!

i haven't really thought of how they "CONFESS" or whatever but i think all of them just feel (TWINGE OF JEALOUSY) at the idea of any of them dating someone else so theyre like ok well thats that i guess. we're a thing now (they refuse to use any other terms like that i think. For a while at least. until maybe one of the thieves etc gets engaged/married and then theyre like ok we can grow up about this. but basically they're just A Thing and Offlimits:tm: and etc.)

COMMUNICATION IS GOOD HERE!!!! i think for sh/uakes/umi i prefer them becoming a Thing at once rather than 1 couple happening first (esp since i like the idea of "none of them rlly understand romance and stuff so they just say 'fuck it' and become Thing" like thats kinda funny asf to me.)

i also feel like to anyone else they just seem like a group of besties until u see exchanged kisses or hugs or interlocked arms/hands and ur like wait....? hm. well idk. (bc they don't either. no one has any idea)

the "goro doesn't die and avoids them" timeline

also in my head sumire doesn't endeavor for the olympics/world stage/international fame and just kinda sticks around national rankings while she still figures herself out (in this timeline. also probably true for the other one but shrug IT CLD GO EITHER WAY I THINK)

somewhat relevant is my shsm fic where i elaborate on sumire's emotions more during this time (especially while thinking goro's dead). <- actually this is pretty recommended cele sumire reading bc this basically totally encapsulates how i see her. the first oneshot is 6k words tho ITS A MOUTHFUL.. SORRY

she and akira drift farrrr apart. she feels extremely guilty and also bitter and frustrated about goro's death and the fact that akira didn't tell her (or goro, in fact.) and he feels guilty and sad about it too, that he should have done something? anything? for him or for her, and he couldn't figure it out and now its over. so now the two of them r grappling w this and trying to overcome it and forget each other even tho the memories during 3rd sem, although painful and haunting, still were sweet and nice and they don't want to forget but they HAVE TO MOVE ON... RIGHT....

meanwhile goro's probably thinking like "damn i miss those guys." but they also think he's dead so hes also like "this is stupid i have to move on(?) Or whatever." ok imma be honest i didnt really think THAT much into goro's thinking during this time (YET.) bc i think he'd be floundering a LOT with everything during his life and being kinda just miserable.

also during this time they try to date other people and it all is miserable and falls apart and also they havent forgotten about the other two so theyre like fuck.

akira - 25~, sumire - 24~, goro - 26~, eventually goro moves back to tokyo and kinda just goes about his life hoping he'll see them again. or maybe find out what they were up to and finally get some closure. wow he does! they kinda all go back to tokyo at the same time wow shocker soulmate things IM JOKINGGGG but they all kinda hold that sentimentality of ok so much time has passed maybe i'll feel better about this place now. and then when they run into each other again its like no time has passed at all. HAPPY ENDING YAY!

communication is less good in this timeline now they're healing from the "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD" stuff. so thats a whole nother can of worms. probably ironically in this universe they try to actualyl figure out how this whole romance thing works so they can label each other as partners and be like OK DONT RUN OFF AGAIN. ANY OF U!!! DO NOT!!!!

ok this shit is so long im so sorry. HI. SDGSHKJFHJKDSHG THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK IM BAWLING i really havent thought much of post-3rd sem stuff as u can tell........... but i WILL ipromise.

edit: LAST ADDENDUM im very passionate abt shsm being nightmare situationship. guys who never got together but got divorced 50 times. sh/uake fits into this category as well i think. i can also kinda see ak/esumi like that but ironically i feel like they'd have the most stable situationship out of the 3 individual ships..... idk.. need to let it all cook in my head a bit more BUT VERY PASSIONATE ABT THE SHSM THING.

[winter-sol]

New hints (and questions) about Nightbringer

Finally! We have some clues about NB, I'm so excited! We finally have an idea of what to expect. Yet I still have so many doubts. But that's only natural, we're still missing on so much information ;; I simply want to share my thoughts about Nightbringer at the moment.

First, I'd like to mention the objective facts we know about the game:

We're our good old sheep MC.

We've travelled to the past, and we need to "reforge our bonds and pacts with the seven brothers"

Honestly, I'm happy the game is not just a prequel and we get to keep our MC. Still, time traveling is a choice. So, knowing this, what personally intrigues me the most are the questions that have arised from the possibilities when it comes to going to the past and meeting the demons there.

I'll try to point out my main questions and theorize a bit, but this is only with the little info we've been given.

We've travelled by Barbatos' magic, so at least he and Diavolo should know we're going to the past. Right?

Do the brothers know? The lines "Don't worry, you'll be fine. After all, we are..." and then "My love for you trascends time" (in Japanese, "No matter how many times we meet you, we'll fall in love with you") seem to be from the brothers POV. The first line gives me the impression they know what our mission is and are basically wishing us good luck and trusting in us, for us to... "save" them, maybe? There has to be a reason we're doing all of this.

About that, why are we doing this? Are we being sent with us knowing what's going on? Or we just wake up and surprise! You're in the past! (double isekai lmao) I hope it's some kind of "mission" we are well aware of.

How will time traveling be explained this time? (In case it will be explained because let's face it, we know OM is not the most rigorous when it comes to it, lol) The brothers will meet us in the past, so are we going to be presenting as ourselves? Or as some random human? You know, like we pretended to be a random angel in the Celestial Realm? After all is done, will they remember the events from the past? Will they know it was us? You know, as in sheep MC? Are their memories going to be "rewritten" and, once we're back, they'll know what happened and know MC loved them in the present and the past? I just... I just don't know. (But I kinda like the latter, it sounds romantic)

All of their lines in the webpage show some kind of emotion related to their fall, in their own way. But at least something that is common to all of them is pain. About each of them:

Lucifer seems to feel guilty or responsible for their fall; Mammon seems accepting of his (and their) fate, Leviathan seems terrified of his fate; Satan, being a new entity, is annoyed by his existence in this reality and his new brothers; Asmodeus is in denial; Beelzebub's one is intriguing, because it points to a secret more then his feelings regarding the fall, but I'd say there's something about the fall or the war he knows and feels guilty about hiding; and Belphegor is thinking about punishment and consequences of their actions, could it be indifference? or a quiet fear?

What kind of dynamics will we have with these recently turned demons? Are we going to have our beloved, dangerous interactions such as the ones we got on Halloween 2021? Or early lessons? (I really, really hope so)

But more than anything, regarding the reasons of our travelling... What happened that needs us to travel and bond with them in their past selves? Are they in some kind of danger? Did some kind of event trigger a reaction from them, becoming distant with us (ahhh yes, angst) and we need to unravel their past? I like the idea of MC getting to know their backstories and ending up with this idea of "I'll love him even after all he's done as a demon".

And that's why I like this concept of "My love for you trascends time" because it can be both ways. They'll love us no matter in what time or form we meet, but also they trust us to keep loving them even though it's a difficult, dangerous love.

And yes, the Japanese one is slightly different but I also like how that one is only directed from the demons to us. Even if it's in an alternative universe, the past, not knowing us, our bond and connection is so strong it's certain they'll fall in love with us.

...

Man, I'm getting the feels from this teaser. I can't wait to see what kind of angst, tragic backstories and dramatic romance we'll get to experience.

And by the way! On March 24th, the song from the opening will be released, "Devil's Way". From the unofficial lyrics I've seen, they do mention the little sheep and to not be afraid, so I wonder what kind of information we'll get from the full lyrics 🕺

Peace out.

[heroictoonz]

Thoughts on season 17?

So I talked briefly about s17 last night in a 2am haze here are those rambles but I'll try to give a whole debriefing on my opinions here (spoilers ahead obvi)

So, honestly, going into s17 I was very skeptical. I hate s16 with a passion even rewatching it last night to do this little 'finally finishing the show' thing I'm currently doing. I also have heard a lot of people talk about how Tucker was done dirty in these ending seasons. And I'm the kinda guy that does his best to hold of on having opinions on stuff I haven't personally watched cause I just don't think anyone can realistically have a strong opinion just based on other peoples thoughts and words. Buuuut it still didn't put much hope in me that was for sure lol

Going in though I was, admittedly, pleasantly surprised. It wasn't, like, amazing but it didn't suck! And it was FAR better than s16 and at this point that's all I can ask for lmao. The first thing I wanna talk about is, obviously, Tucker (lol) and his whole thing in s17.

So, like most RVB seasons, s17 is the continuation and end of of the time travel arc thing so it's coming off of s15 and s16 but mostly s16. Now, I'm actually gonna go ahead an preface all this with saying I fucking HATE time travel in media it almost always gives me a headache and I will talk about that at some point but I wanted to get that out of the way here.

SO Tucker. My guy of all time the dude of always and forever. He got probably ones of my favorite arcs of all time for a character especially in RvB seconded only to like the Freelancers. And I've talked about how much s16 basically turned me off the show for a LONG while and most of that was because of how they were writing Tucker.

S17 is not nearly as bad here. So they actually give a reason to his weird ass behavior in s16 and where I don't think it was perfectly executed it made it a lot more bearable for me, honestly. It put more context as to why his personality did almost a complete 180. It also gave me the time to really pick apart what they were clearly trying to do with him. Like having him work through his masking he does for his insecurities and still processing the whole hero arc he got a few seasons back. That's all super interesting I just do wish they'd have done it better.

But I will say; TUCKER IN THE LABYRINTH? TUCKER IN THE LABYRINTH??? FUCKING HELLO???? Like. No one said anything in the episode really. But like. My brother in christ he had a panic attack and then passed out on the fucking floor cause he watched his friends disappear and didn't know what to do or how to get them back. LIKE OH MY GOD??? Like Chorus we saw him get pretty frantic about the others being 'taken' by the Federation. So he gets pretty obsessive when someone is missing it seems but for his greatest fear that the Labyrinth used to try and get him to kill himself was juts? A fear of being alone??? That's insane. Like lots of people fear being alone! Lots of people fear their friends and family leaving them! That's normal ish enough. But for Tuckers fear to be so fucking strong that the AI believed it was enough to kill him?! DUDE WHAT? THATS INSANE! IT MAKES ME ACTIVLLY CRAZY WHAT THE HELL! I think blowing up is the only way I can cope with this thanks

Also, speaking. Of Tucker. UM THE TIME FRAGMENT HE HAD TO FIX? THANKS. THANK YOU. THAT WAS SO PAINFUL. THAT WAS FUCKING FOR ME PERSONALLY. THEY DID THAT SHIT FOR ME. No joke that happened and I fucking scrambled out of my bed and ran to my qp's room like STARRRRR and I'm over here like climbing into their bed and half to tears about to sob like a clown just like "STAR STAR THEY DID THE THING THEY DID THE THING ITS FRECKLES SHAKE STAR STAR HE HAD TO RELIVE FRECKLES SHAKE STARRRRR" and they're like "... yeah?" (<- They have seen like two seasons of this show and have no idea what the fuck I am on) BUT LIKE DAMN HIM HAVING TO SABOTAGE HIS OWN TEAM TO MAKE IT TURN OUT THE WAY HE NEEDS IT TO FIX THE TIMELINE. FUCKED UP. ESPECIALLY TO LEARN HOW FUCKING SCARED HE IS OF SHIT LIKE THAT EXACT SITUATION HAPPENING? FUCKING AWEFUL I LOVED EVERY SECOND IT WAS AMAZING BEST DECISION SINCE SLICED BREAD HOLY FUCK!

So, uh, yeah they made up for s16 at least for me :)

ANYWAYS. Other parts I loved: so like, fr? The time travel in this season wasn't as bad as other shows. It was p easy to grasp and the whole "reliving events to fix those points in time" actually made more since than most bullshitted time travel plots (I'M LOOKING AT YOU NINJAGO SEASON 2 EPISODE 6 WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME. IM LOOKING DIRECTLY AT YOU) so I did really appreciate that. Also them jumping through time like they were doing especially when Donut was with Wash? FUCKING AMAZING. It was like genuinely hysterical them continuously going back to the point where he shoots Donut and Donuts like WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS??? It's great peek comedy especially when its Wash that brings them back to that moment n hes like oh fuck im so sorry its GREAT

ALSO MORE OF THE FREELANCERS !!!! I LOVE THEM!!!! I love seeing our silly guy Wash interacting with the other Freelancers. Wash and Donut in this season were literally perfect. I loved them befriending each other and being silly together. Donut and Wash adventures are honestly the best part of this season actually.

Also WASH AND CAROLINA THIS WHOLE SEASON OH MY GOD. OHHH MY GOD. They make me so insane this season watching both how they started and then how they had like their mini breakup but came back together CAROLINA CALLING HIM HER BROTHER FUUUUCKKKK ITS SO EVERYTHING TO ME MAN THEY ARE FUCKING FAMILY DAMNIT

Speaking of family DONUT FINALLY GETTING RESPECT FROM THE REDS N BLUES! HOLY SHIT!! I've always hated how sidelined Donut got cause I love him I think he's great. But like, they pretend like he's so forgettable or not even there. And having TUCKER learn his character development in this season from DONUT and him and Wash telling ppl like no assholes listen to Donut he knows what he's talking about he can lead us THAT FUCKED ME UP THAT WAS SO GOOD ILL BLOW UP

I do, however, wish that Donut had more self respect. The whole "they may hate me but theyre till my friends!" bit was kinda not great LIKE if it had come in AFTER some of the stuff between him and Wash or him n Tucker then that would be fine but idk it felt weird that Donut chose the reds n blues over Chronos in s16 finale to me like it would make more sense if he was like nah fuck BOTH yall but we still gotta save the planet for me at least and then coming around like woah wait yall do care about me? n the apologies n shit

Speaking of apologies fucking Wash being like "you are all going after him and saying youre sorry" was so funny hes such a dad

HMMMM ALSO CAROLINA'S BIT IN THE LABYRINTH!! THAT WAS ALSO SOOO GOOD not to be insane but when she talks about having people in her life and that makes her stronger the camera is specifically showing Tucker and Wash behind her and this is where I blow up I just explode I cannot cope WAH

There's like just so many good character moments like with Grif and Kai in her Labyrinth god that was so so so good. And Huggins and Grif was also the perfect of all time as always. Huggins and Grif are so good I love them.

I will say another negative admittedly was how hard Kai had it out for Tucker like when they were trying to snap him out of the time thing and out of the Labyrinth idk like I'm sure it was all for laughs but it felt like when they had their talk that things were gonna be better for them like as friends obvi not as an item since she shut that down. But then like idk it felt kinda off to me but also the whole s16 thing just made me SUPER put off on any Kai and Tucker stuff in canon material. I LOVE the idea of them being friends I used to hc Tucker being super super close w both Grif sibs and I personally still do! But the show eh idk hard to explain ig lol

the TLDR is i liked it! it wasnt perfect but it was waaaay better than s16 and i had a good time either way !

[amaleu-antmat]

"What the hell are you making him do?" Accused Richard in English.

When the woman hesitates to respond, Richard shifts to another language Seigi doesn't understand. The man inside the house comes out after hearing what Richard said, and by the time Seigi came down from the ladder, the man was apologizing for something to him, but that made Richard even angrier. Seigi thinks that seeing someone as beautiful as Richard who looks to have stepped out from a movie screen so furious must feel so unreal, which is why the couple is now silent.

<His eyes blazed with blue fire, and I couldn't help but marvel at how their colour seemed to deepen when he was worked up as I set the roller and paint down>

Seigi sillyly thinks that Richard is speaking like a machine gun spitting enough bullets to take out ten people (Lol his analogies) , and after he makes a big "Hmph!" About 30 times grander than any Catherine made, he wraps an arm around Seigi's shoulders and pulls him away from them.

Richard "They think you are our servant, they apologized for borrowing our hired help while we were out. Preposterous, I'm not even going to ask what you were thinking, but I find the way you were treated inexcusable. And what was Catherine doing? Did she just obediently loan you out, like a toy?"

Seigi negates vehemently and explains that it was his whim and that Catherine didn't know anything, but Richard appeared to be only half-listening. He abandoned his bike and started walking, so Seigi took the bike and started pushing it along, he apologize for his incompetence, but Richard just said that he didn't need to apologize.

Seigi thinks that it wasn't strange for those people to think he was a servant because in that huge house were the three of them were staying, he was Asian and they were white, mother and son looked related with a glance, and the first time they saw him, he was driving and Catherine on the passenger seat, the two spoke native French, while his French was awkward and broken. So what would they think he was to them?

Still even thought he know the situation is like this, he can't help feeling uncomfortable and a bit sad 😞 (those people even refused and waited for Catherine to hand the food over to them rather than accepting it from Seigi's hand on the first night, honestly servant or not, that alone was so rude.)

Richard "You are a very considerate person. So much that it isn't simply a matter of you being raised in Japan. You really ought to learn that there are many people who seek to take advantage of people like you. I don't want to see you being used by vacation home flippers for their own gain."

Seigi is surprised, and Richard explains that it isn't unusual and that people often commission renovation to sell these vacation mansions for more, as those people were probably some intermediaries.

Seigi "Sorry, but I'm fine, really"

Richard "Don't apologize. This isn't your fault."

Seigi remains silent. <Then whose fault was it? Who needed to take the blame for this to be resolved?>

Richard finally realize that Seigi is pushing his bike. He takes the handlebars from him and begins pushing it himself.

<When Richard's spirits were down, he had this peculiar pitiful quality in him, almost like a dayflower in the rain. It packed a punch, I wasn't especially vulnerable to it or anything, but his pained face was completely outrageous. I could hardly stand it> (here is the unreliable narrator, he doesn't understand that it basically means he is weak to his sad face?)

Seigi wants to say something but doesn't know what, but Richard began explaining that the less you are close to big cities the more likely to encounter locals that perceive outsiders in different way.

Seigi "So they think that any foreigner is a migrant worker?"

Richard "You're not wrong. No matter the country, you'll find people who make broad generalisations about immigrants and struggle to see them as fellow humans. They said they thought you were Sri Lankan, but if I had said you were Indian or Mongolian, they would have believed me. That's roughly the level of awareness Europeans tend to have of Asian cultures"

Seigi "Unless they have friends in each of those countries, that is. It's my fault for not knowing that."

Richard ".....I thought that knowing that myself would be enough to protect you. But I was naive for thinking that. How can I possibly apologize to you?"

Seigi "Oh, don't apologize, you're just going to make me feel bad. Plus, I just helped paint a neighbour's house."

Richard "They didn't consider you the same class of human as them. It's intolerable"

Seigi thinks about the clause of etranger, that it basically meant to be considerate and to not allow harmful stereotypes to be perpetuated.

Seigi "Sorry"

Richard "Don't apologize"

Seigi "I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me what I should say then"

Richard "....."

Richard goes silent but then blurt out shiritori. Seigi got confused. What? Why now? Richard hurries him to play shiritori in Japanese. Seigi laughs, and they start with jewels' names. Seigi feels that just talking in Japanese makes him feel like his worries were going away. That was probably why Richard even suggested the game.

Richard is too strong. They continue with food names

Seigi "R-red bean mochi"

Richard "Ice cream parfait"

Seigi "The kind with banana,right? T-t-tiramisú éclair"

Richard "Your pronunciation got a little french-sounding at the end. Rice pudding"

Seigi "...G...what start with G?

Richard "You should disperse with the food restriction. You sound like a machine that's run out of oil"

Seigi "Gratin! Oh, lemme take that back..."

Richard "Not a chance"

Richard laugh and said, "Tough luck," to announce his loss.

<I felt relieved. I already really, really, really, really liked his face as it was, but I think I liked this particular expression of his most of all>

(man is down bad 😆, now I wonder if in the original text that like was with the kanji of "love"or if he simply said "Suki")

Seigi looks frustrated because he lost and Richard snicker.

"Another feather for my cap, I beat a japanese person at Shiritori"

Seigi "You're basically unbeatable. You could conquer the whole of Japan with ease"

Richard "I will humbly refrain. I'm sure it would do wonders for expanding my vocabulary, but it sounds dreadfully exhausting."

Richard chuckles but then begins to tell a story about how when he was little, he brought a group of classmates to that villa, Catherine was delighted to have the opportunity of entertaining his friends for the first time. But at the end of the 2 week vacation, Richard's friends were not his friends anymore but became Catherine's groupies. Richard explain that they were totally different animals when they were at the mansion and when they were outside. From the moment they woke up, they tried to curry favour with her, in the afternoon, fight over who would walk with her, in the evening, compete over the order in which they got to dance with her.

Richard "This may sound a bit harsh, but whoever she is dealing with, she cannot feel secure until she's exerted her influence over everyone near her. As her son, I am outside her charms range, but with anyone else she'll try to dye them in her colours completely"

Richard said that after the end of the vacation, he announced to her that he'll never bring friends over to her, Catherine was a bit hurt but understood and said that maybe it was for the better. Richard kept his word and didn't even make her meet the woman he was going to marry.

(Apparently, she even went to a psychologist, but then the man ended up getting enamoured, so she stopped going in the end)

[oldsargasso]

4 minutes ep 5 thoughts

can't believe we're over halfway through :( but how nice to be able to watch on iqiyi

a warning for flashing lights would've been good

bless. she played that perfectly because that was an expression every woman can recognise instantly but [straight] men have no idea

okay I love title's shirt. confirmation it's tonkla who takes him out then

the grass, the trees, it all has a very dream-like, unreality/hyper-reality in a way kinda feeling. the establishing shot of the grass just feels like a movie in an intentional way

omg they're glamping!! I thought it was a tent at the end of last ep but I didn't think it'd look like that lmao

[we haven't seen tyme wear a necklace yet have we? yet in the first visions of them having sex he definitely has one on. just thinking about it now because his shirt is like making it very obvious.]

they are soooooooo. I gotta go lie down on the floor. tyme straight up serenading great, the man does have moves. (where'd he get a guitar from? it came with the campsite)

the most insane thing is that they're both still wearing shoes and socks around. (<- might be assigning australian values here)

musician AU CONFIRMED.

just taking a moment to appreciate jes' acting. my goodness. my HEART.

NAN BACKSTORY!! bee I love you as well. miscarriage? oh damn. this is depressingly real. I hope Nan gets to burn everything down

the framing of tyme and great in these shots is so interesting. tyme always on the left, often higher. don't even need to mention the black&white.

why is what's on the picnic table so blurry or are my eyes going weird

"what if the next death is you?" "I don't have anything to lose." okay. pain.

I love Korn losing it.

oooohhh sa-marn. this is the one single thing I've liked him doing. (and not just because it means we get to see great's mother again 😍 the one sleeve look is perfect)

"the son of yours" number one thing not to say to your wife unless it's a cute joke

god great's even got a red number plate to match his car lmaoooo. actually surprising to me that his car doesn't have a GPS tracker or something. korn's gonna be waiting for great isn't he.

if it started as ~seducing great to get to his parents it's so far past that now. the look tyme is giving great….. the hand on the back of the neck. leave me here to die actually.

oh god this horror movie shot. oh lmaooo. den my guy. oh I don't recognise that dude hmmm. title?

great just straight up walked in front of that car. dude. if there was ever a time to be aware of your surroundings… oh it was korn so who cares. wait he's got a red number plate too, that does NOT match your car.

can't park there.

the man with his shirt unbuttoned down to his navel is taking about how serious this business is

there's that older brother "I'll do it so you don't have to" idc I live for this kinda stuff

honestly I thought korn was gonna be waiting inside great's apartment so that was way less intense than I was expecting lol

CLOCK'S BACK!!

OH MY GOD. holy shit great's dad is. incredible. awful. lovely little note that he said stay away from great before he said stay away from the company. (the like, heartbeat in the OST? gorgeous) take the money and then do your thing anyway, like what are they gonna do? call the cops?

I wonder if that's his maternal or paternal grandmother. it doesn't matter I just like knowing stuff

dude nan has been through it, let her have her revenge!! it's not like she's getting the 5 million so. I understand her.

aww manee's out of hospital.

korn getting slapped…you love to see it

since she mentioned her dad being powerful I am now assuming she and title are siblings lol. korn doesn't deserve this woman she should marry me instead

I'm way more into the idea of ep 4 being great's first time with a dude because that makes tyme blocking him now all the more delicious 😌

I wanna just. applaud all of this. the sound. the cinematography. the look on her face.

oh shit great's gonna get shot now isn't he

(did his mum kill korn's mum)

first flashback/flashforward in a little while. this guy is bold and dedicated to his job - nobody heard the first gunshot?

half of great's face covered in blood spatter….perfect. the clock has started.

hmmmm. okay. this better not turn out to all just be in great's head because that is the worst of all theories lol.

thank god den can recognise people from split-second glances he's the most powerful character ever

this is what tyme's wearing when he gets shot in ep 1. the BLOOD ON HIS FACE cutting in and out with the light? hellllloooo. next episode is tyme right?

[zhouxiangs]

hi sasa! about my stand in novel, since you read the tags before going in, were there anything you were surprised with (either good/bad surprise)? what aspect do you think is the most enjoyable/compelling of the story despite there is still some cliches/cheesy/perhaps even predictable in the writing? i finished it recently as well and i love listening to another reader's thoughts about it

hi anon!

i know i sound like a yan mingxiu apologist at this point but i was honestly expecting him to be way worse, and then he wasn't! i was vaguely aware that he was, maybe, the less scummy of the 188 group because i read a tiny bit about that before starting the novel, but i was still prepared for someone downright evil (or evil for evil's sake, or whose actions would piss me off for most of the story only to have some kind of big reveal later that would make me rethink everything—not that i'm actually opposed to that approach actually, but i'm still glad it wasn't like that in pbd, at least for the readers, because i liked following his emotional journey in real time-ish) and, while he still wasn't great, let's say i don't approve of his ways but i could easily understand how he got there.

going to hide the rest of my answer under a read-more because i want to get into spoilers and sometimes a tag isn't enough:

i told @clairedaring when i started the novel that yan mingxiu was funny to me because it was so clear even then how oblivious he was being (and later on how he was going to be hurt by the consequences of his own actions, boy was shooting himself in the foot the whole time) and i stand by that. i did cry for him, but i also reveled in his pain after seeing him sow the seeds for a year. get karma'd. oh and his age was a nice surprise too! i'd assumed he would be older for some reason (maybe because of up poompat) but he's a babyyy. it just made so much sense that he would be so immature with his background and being that young; not that people his age are immature or i'd expect them to, obviously, but some things are a lot easier to understand and excuse (at least for me) once you know he's only 20. it also makes him way more believable and his actions generally easier to digest than if he was idk, up's actual age. anyway i went into the story with that mindset, so maybe that's why i never really disliked him. or maybe it's because i'm older and a few years ago i wouldn't have thought the same, who knows.

as for the most compelling/enjoyable aspect i'd say it's mostly the way the characters are written, which, bare minimum lol but they were just so believable as people? there was depth, there was consistency in the characterisation (oh the bar is in hell); i could understand why zhou xiang was wavering, and why it took him so long to notice/accept and to believe in yan mingxiu's feelings; i could see yan mingxiu's feelings developing early on and also understand why he was basically gaslighting himself into still believing he loved wang yudong, even though by then he was already starting to notice how he didn't even like him as a person (one of the things i found so amusing about yan mingxiu was the way he'd automatically redirect his thoughts about zhou xiang to circle back to "but the best part about him is definitely how his back looks like dong ge's", he's. so dumb) he was so set in his belief and so used to think about wang yudong as the person he loved that he didn't even bother to stop and think for a second if that was even true anymore. aughhh. i really think the characterisation was really strong; it's not like i don't latch onto random weak characters for no reason constantly but this is usually what's important for me in fiction, and specially in a story that is mostly about feelings i need to really care about the characters, otherwise what's the point.

the flow of the story (the english fan translation in my case, but i think this comes from the story itself) was really good too! that by itself would have made me read the whole thing pretty quickly even though i wanted to make it last, not gonna lie... but yeah, with those two things combined i had no chance. i would intend to read one or two chapters before sleeping and then end up reading anywhere between 20-40, so now i have to microdose the extras or i'll run out of yanzhou content, sobs.

and of course, not to be me, but the best thing about pbd is my sweet angel baby zhou xiang. i was pretty sure i was going to like him a lot just from reading claire's propaganda post (lol) and sure enough, by chapter 6 his doormat ways had bewitched me body and soul. i already adored him as a very social but also very lonely man who had resigned himself to be alone at the tender age of 29 (out of practicality? like granted, he knows better than me how his environment functions but he never had any trouble finding a hook up either? so why that level of cynicism, baby boy. it's not like he can't look for a partner outside of his circle either). a man that so desperately yearned for a loving partner/a family of his own but that settled for scraps, and sometimes not even that. i loved seeing him being domestic and at times even sweet with yan mingxiu in his original life, and how he was a bit like a puppy. i loved how softhearted he was, and how petty he got at times; how he wanted to take that role from wang yudong because he was jealous of him and, since he couldn't get yan mingxiu to love him, at least he could "win" somehow and not be second to wang yudong by taking that role away from him, even if it was only once and not what he really wanted/the only thing he actually cared about (ie yan mingxiu's heart); how he wanted to hurt and maybe embarrass yan mingxiu by telling him about "wang yudong"'s back in his first film being that of a stuntman (and oh how i loved what that caused). but mostly i loved that despite all that he was still, above everything else, softhearted; he stopped caring about wang yudong altogether as soon as he knew the truth about yan mingxiu, even thought he'd spent years suffering because of him by that point; he always took care of chen ying, whatever it took, because even though she was only his new body's mother she was the only mother he had and he'd already hurt her enough by taking the place of her son, doesn't matter that he had no power over that.

i loved watching zhou xiang grow as a person and learning to put himself first sometimes, and having the resolve to fight for what he wanted for once and not just put up with everything life threw at him. i didn't even like the yan family plot (could do without yan mingxiu's father beating his gay son, thank you) but seeing zhou xiang standing up for himself and their relationship made me so emotional and so proud of him. his development was really the best, and i just love him so so much.

also it's so funny to me how i imprinted on poom phuripan like a baby chick the first time i saw him (as guy in bake me please) and then i had pretty much the same experience with a character he's going to play lmao as if i didn't know he's perfect for the role already.

look at him! he's so beautiful, so zhou xiang-shaped. i thought about up from time to time while reading too, but i was picturing poom in my mind constantly without even trying to. 10/10, perfect casting.

also! cheesy is good! cheesy is fantastic, even. same with clichés and predictable stories that follow a certain formula; sometimes that is exactly what i want, and as long as it makes sense and feels natural to the characters and the story (ie they don't just do things/things just don't happen because it's what needs to happen next) i'm down with anything. also i don't know if this counts as predictable or just paying attention because after all that's what the mentions/clues were there for, but things like yan mingxiu's obsession with wang yudong's back and consequently zhou xiang's... the moment we got yan mingxiu remembering how he fell in love at first sight with wang yudong's back at 16 when he saw that now-classic scene of him getting out of the water in his first film i knew what was coming, specially because by that point we knew how long zhou xiang had been working as wang yudong's stuntman (not sure if we knew about him being uncredited yet).

and sure enough, he was never credited in the first place because they wanted the action scenes to help build wang yudong's fame, and yang mingxiu had been in love with zhou xiang's back the entire time. you don't get much more cheesy than that, and it's literally my favourite thing about the novel 😭

and i'm stopping myself here oh my god...

[slavhew]

Any advice for doing back grounds?? Shits mad confusing im tryna practice drawing like characters actually in them and im going insane

ouu i can't say im a good authority on this, because I never did much in lieu of backgrounds except painting some sunsets. I do have some theoretical knowledge but i struggle putting it into perspective, because depth is hard.

I feel like the hardest thing really is making the characters look like they belong in the environment, and that sounds like your problem too? I think ? So it's what I'm going to try and address here.

One that is in my opinion by far THE most important is to start a composition with the background in mind. It is always going to look somewhat wonky if you don't

(Rest under cut)

(exhibit A)

(this is the reason why I often don't do backgrounds, because a vast majority of my work starts as a doodle that i polish up later) (and also I used a game screenshot here, I didn't actually draw the walkway)

compare this to the drawing that was my inspiration, and the difference in flow and focus is astronomical

A good background can be either super simple, just a backdrop or something your characters actively participate in; in both these instances, it will be much easier to draw it if you start out with it in mind and being able to adjust early on is a massive lifesaver

Second, and most often repeated I think, is to think of the space as 3D, and use some geometry to help yourself out

the most useful part of this to keep in mind imo, when it comes to scaling characters, is that they will also follow roughly that line of perspective that in reality "runs parallel" to the rest of them, but in perspective looks as if it gets smaller

There's probably plenty of tutorials on getting a feel for this out there, but looking at other people's art (and the classics) and sketching over them can help

this is only linear perspective examples, but there's lots of them out there! point is, the character, and many lines of the environment are going to "flow" into a point. It's usually demonstrated with tiles and suchalike, but as you can see it has many applications, depending on how exaggarated you want to make the perspective.

You should also be mindful of the perspective of your character versus the environment. A few things to keep in mind are their lines, and their color/shading.

Colors are relatively simple; keep the source of light in mind so the shading feels in line for both the character and environment (perspective lines help with that too).

(this is definitely not to scale but just, to illustrate my point)

And keep in mind that with especially pieces that have great depth, like landscapes, the color of the environment changes the further you look. The lines blur, the details are lost, and it fades into more solid colors. A character and their palette will be affected by this environmental lighting

With keeping the characters consistent with backgrounds, lines-wise, it really helps to block them in first, because you can easier keep track of how they look in relation to backgrounds, and fix accordingly early on.

it's good (and painful, honestly) to keep in mind how bodies are 3D objects too. I had this great reference for this point, that I forgot where i saved, so we have to do with my amateurish recreation:

These lines are going to get distorted and effected by the perspective too. To avoid the characters looking flat against the backgrounds, try to keep them "on the same level" of exaggaration, so to speak..

And lastly. USE REFERENCES!! there is NOTHING more needlessly painful than drawing something as complex as environments out of your head.

All these things contribute to the complex thing that is. backgrounds. Now, please dont take my word as gospel, considering that even keeping all of this in mind, this is about the best i can do offhand to demonstrate my knowledge lol

I wouldn't be surprised if all the things I said here aren't anything new to you, in which case i genuinely apologize, because I'm also a huge beginner with this 😭 but i wish you a lot of luck on your journey practicing this!! It's a lot of work to be sure.

As sort of a PS, a few pieces with cool bgs showcasing some of my points *a lot* more competently, that I have saved in my bookmarks on twitter:

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