Favorite Homestuck Character: 27th US President William Howard Taft
(page 556-566)
8/29/2009 Wheel Spin: Dramatic Irony
Verdict: Puns, The Lower Form Of Humor
8/31/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :(
Verdict: Brother Truly Awful And Horrendous
We begin these pages with John, followed by a quick cut to Dave. Both of them navigating the dangers of their home and the possibility of being watched, but in very different ways.
The Colonel Sassacre and Bathtub level ups are clearly just a setup for puns, so I’m not gonna read too much into the idea that everything can level up (yet). But Colonel Sassacre gained 9550 boondollars from his level, so he must be pretty far up the echeladder compared to the bathtub (490) and John’s meager 200. Sassacre’s new level is ONE MAN JULEP VACUUM. A julep is a chilled cocktail, today usually made with mint, bourbon and crushed ice, although historically used rose petals and was prescribed for health. In 1939, the mint julep became the official drink of the Kentucky Derby after being drunk there probably since its inception. For the ‘genteel, aristocratic southern colonel’ hoovering up a large number of juleps at the derby must be a sign of social status. A high achievement indeed.
Meanwhile, the bathtub’s levels are both references to apocryphal bathtub-related stories. ARCHIMEDED was the ancient Greek mathematician who got into the bathtub and realized that placing an object into a liquid would displace that volume of that liquid (and could therefore determine what metal an object was made from, via the relationship between weight, volume and density) and ran naked through the streets yelling “eureka!” So, his AQUACRADLE is the watery crib that nourished and inspired him. Meanwhile, William TAFT was the US President famous for being the heaviest person in office, who was believed to have gotten stuck, or JAMMED, in the White House bathtub. Although both of these stories are probably false, they’re famous and they’re fun references.
Finally, VAULTHALLA is a pun on Valhalla, the hall of slain warriors in Norse mythology. It’s horrific as a pun (complimentary) but I do think p.558 is the best looking page in all of Homestuck so far. The jewel tones streaked to create the sunset and the sea, the way the boat bobs on the waves and the fire flickers and is reflected in the water is way more beautiful than it needs to be to carry the pun.
LAD SCRAMBLE (p.560) is John’s equivalent of YOUTH ROLL (p.379) in terms of being acrobatic feats attempted and failed by these characters. Can’t wait for Dave’s Dude Scoot and GG’s Kid Tumble. But I am really glad this happened to our boy on the lowest flight and not miles above the house. The code violations on Rose’s building are scarier to me than the absolutely MASSIVE imp that shows up afterwards.
As predicted, this is the rook. It has a better moveset than the imps and is worth about five of them power-wise which is absolutely more than John can handle. The learning curve of Sburb continues to be really steep. I wonder if all the enemies are literally climbing up from below? It makes sense given that they’re part of the forces of darkness, and it sets the game up as a giant chase using architecture, where – at a certain point – just out-climbing the smaller enemies might be more effective than killing them, and only the higher level enemies will even reach the players.
Returning to Dave after a hundred pages away from him is like stepping from the normal world into the first layer of endless puppet hell. His mind is a complex and terrible place, but he – or the narrator – is getting closer to admitting some things. He feels ‘pangs of jealousy’ about his bro’s turntable gear and there’s a mention of getting worked up, and he acknowledges that his bro’s comic ‘get[s] under [his] skin’ and that he thinks it’s ‘just a little TOO ironic.’ He is also aware that ‘trouble’s a-brewin’ due to a missing sword. This feels like somebody getting sucked in too deep to a subculture that’s fine in moderation, but then somebody takes it way too far to the point that it’s harmful – but by then it’s too late to get out, especially when that somebody lives with you, has power over you and presents themself as an authority.
Today I learned that ‘Animal’ is the actual name of a Muppets character (along with Rowlf). This comic is of course puppet themed – Bro does not have a diversity of interests – being tormented by Jigsaw from the movie Saw, which I will watch soon. The art style is different to Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff, less pixelated and artifacted with some hand lettering instead of Comic Sans, darker in both tone and color palette. I’m sure this is post-post-post-post-ironic to some people but to me this is just every ‘what if we took a children’s story… and made it Fucked Up’ post that has been made on the internet in the last decade.
There’s also near-confirmation that Bro is hiding close by and messing with Dave’s mind via sylladex. On p.563, there’s a flash of the sword on the wall being captchalogued, and on p.564, the flash of Lil Cal being de-captchalogued – both from back towards the couch area if my mental picture of the room is right. Out of every character we’ve met so far, Dave’s bro is the one without a single redeeming quality; every new fact or insinuation draws him as an even worse guy.
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The Felt Playing cards Homestuck
I know this isn't the kind of content I usually post, but I had a really hard time finding info about this product and wanted to make a bookkeeping post so others can research more easily.
The Felt Playing cards were a promotional item I bought along side a t shirt of dragon plushes being hanged and a jacket modeled after aforementioned dragon plushes. (2014 ish I think.
Sold for: 79.99 + shipping
It sold instantly, so it could probably go for more.
I forgot to take a picture of the back of the cards, so if anyone has that, please add the pictures.
As you can see, my box was slightly damaged.
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on the case of Teen Parenting, if Damara is willing to stay y'oughta set up a system for her to go, hang out with her friends or pursue her interests, and then come back that doesn't involve getting punched into space A La Crowbar that one time you Freaked it.
also, maybe change up how you display text in chatprograms in case there's an emergency and you have to go pick her up.
ALSO also, be open to talk, and show interest in things she shares with you. I understand how your composite parts might make that a bit. wonky, to put it mildly, but you're YOU now, Doc. something something, self-growth and developing personhood beyond your composites.
I'm getting the impression some of you care more about my well-being than I've ever been allowed to.
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hey 01100010 is back once more! did anything cool in your life happen while we were away? 01100010 hope you had something nice happen!
01100010 brought you back another gift! some cool cards!
=^.^=
🂡 🂱 🃑 🃁
Uhhhhhhh i um. Shoot what happened between this and the last ask. I lose track of time so easily man. But the first thing that comes to mind is probably just working rehearsals in the show I'm doing and hanging out with friends.
You and your friend should both come over sometime. The bird too. The we can all play War together with the card deck!
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