#Hmm i guess the darkfic is too canon

[maipareshaan]

A very funny thing about me is that i have read the most depraved stuff but i will not touch s*mifer with a 10 foot pole

[kahran042]

Things I wish I could say to Das Sporking

Hey wait a minute! Grant's outfit is red. You know...the color that Gaston, the villain, wore? To make him opposite Beast, who wore blue? Red, a color that represents anger and from what I heard, was also chosen because it's the color of blood, to further emphasis Gaston's being a hunter and his eventual murderous rage? You gave your Gary-Stu love interest THAT color?!

It's just a color, for the love of Ceiling Cat! Look, Grant is a horrible character, I'll give you that, but frankly, this looks like you're just reaching for things to badmouth about him. :P

I find it funny that Harry Potter, with it's explicitly soul-damaging, runs on hate Dark Magic, has people trying to invoke Dark is Not Evil, and here we have someone trying to talk about corrupting, evil Dark Magic, in a world where our cutesy heroine spent the first half using the power of Dark.

Well, maybe if Harry Potter had a more clear definition of Dark Magic than "any offensive spell used by anyone other than an author-approved character"... Oh, and read another book. (This was part of a sporking of a Cardcaptor Sakura darkfic that had nothing to do with Harry Potter)

(user1): It’d be the old “introduce weapons and powers from other canons to be Better Than This Canon” chestnut.  You know, like Keiran Halcyon putting RPG stuff in Harry Potter.

Kahran042: Which could only be an improvement on canon, considering how much the Harry Potter magic system sucks.

"...and no, Hades (the version from Disney’s Hercules) is not Draco In Leather Pants'd..."

Well, even if he were, it would be a good counterbalance to his being Darth Vader the Eldritch Abomination'd in the crappy movie.

"I've never seen a blue rose, but I thought I'd make one, in honor of you" he said and took a painted blue, white rose from his coat pocket and placed it on her heart "It fits you" he smiled. (user2): Blue roses exist.

Kahran: You know that "I haven't seen it" isn't the same as "it doesn't exist," right? I can honestly say that I’ve never seen a wombat, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think they exist.

Of course, the part where China and Japan are different still seems to have escaped her notice.

To be fair, maybe the town contained elements of both Chinese and Japanese culture.

Also, this may be a coincidence, but she's the only female currently in this troupe and also the only one who's been “abused.” Huh.

This comes across as a bit of a kneejerk reaction, but maybe that's just me having a kneejerk reaction of my own.

This makes it sound like she's going to be paired up with Yuju, not Aladdin. Which, considering her "I'm not interested in boys" comment earlier...

Except that Yuju's gender was never specified. The only description given was "It (emphasis mine) was white and wise looking with long silver hair."

(user1): Given that we see her latch on to Celeste (Inpax)...she also seems to be drawn towards women with strong, confident personalities.

Kahran042: Except that from what I've read about the game, there really isn't any information about Celeste's personality.

"I guess it was…kind of the right thing…" She glanced down at the glasses on the table. "I guess I just over reacted." (user1): Now Adrian is quietly admitting that he did the right thing and that she was a silly, emotional woman who over-reacted

Kahran042: Seems to me that the only one saying anything about it being because she's a "silly, emotional woman" is you.

Charlie: Did the author not watch or hear of Season 0 or the manga?


There is no Season 0! What people call "Season 0" is a different series based on the same source material. Sorry about this, but that's my biggest pet peeve in this fandom. (referring to the Yu-Gi-Oh! fandom)

We’ve seen fifty-million Rapidashes and Ponytas, by the way. Please import some Zebstrika or something.

I know...it's almost as if this fic was written before Zebstrika was created or something. :P

Say what you will about the Stuthor, at least he doesn't go into capslock rages.

See, that’s exactly my problem with the Dauntless. They are not brave the same way Gryffindors in Harry Potter are. No, that is exactly what they are - thrill seekers!

Hmm, sounds just like Gryffindor to me. :P

(user4): Is he saying that Emerald is a good thing? And note I said he, because Mark is basically using Jupiter as a goddamn sock-puppet right now.

So, it's not all right for Suethors to use canon characters as sock-puppets, but it's all right for you and your ilk to do the same?

(user1): And despite all of his stalking and spying and creeping on underage girls, I doubt he could ever figure out what all women want, so he'd probably just get executed.

Because all women want the same thing?

In "Hadrian Abhorsen", she reduces Voldemort to a completely ineffective and cliché ranter who even the cheesiest Saturday morning cartoons would be embarrassed to have

So...there was no difference, then?

Wait, John? Was he named after John Morris of Castlevania Bloodlines?

Probably not, seeing as John is a very common name.

Darien was outside the greenhouse taking in the beauty of the sweet-smelling flowers and soothing fountain. (user1): A sweet-smelling fountain? What?

What, indeed, seeing as there was nothing about a "sweet-smelling fountain" in that passage.

Granted it’s a magic gun but we clearly see later that it can and does operate exactly like a muggle gun.

Never use that word unless you're discussing the Harry Potty fandom.

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT PICTURE WAS INTENDED FOR - MAYBE A FUCKING GRADUATING THESIS

Yeah, because there would totally be a graduate thesis at a middle school. Also, unnecessary capslock is unnecessary.

...and no, I’m not making an over 9000 joke. Fucking Blaze isn’t worth the effort.

Effort? What effort?

or if the second Suethor just ignored the epilogue just because they didn’t like the shipping or the kids.

Because Ceiling Cat forbid that there might be other reasons that someone might ignore the crapilogue.

Totally ignoring that MIyuki had fucked up, totally ignoring that Nico had been manipulated and taken advantage of, totally ignoring that Nico had been suffering...totally ignoring the fact that none of it would have happened if Miyuki hadn’t tried just a little more instead of simply giving up because she didn’t like her kiddie drawings.

How come I have a feeling that you would have complained about it if he hadn't ignored those things, too?

Chapter 26: The Birth of Nao's Sibling (user5): aka, “That Episode That Shot Every Older Sibling Right In The Heart.”

Um, I'm an older sibling and it didn't shoot me in the heart. Thank you for making me feel like there's something wrong with me for not getting all choked up over fictional characters.

and in general acts like the author meant him to be Eddard Stark but ended up turning him into Robert Baratheon.

I'm sorry, but those names are about as significant to me as I imagine the names Ltohkj Glqaq and Qeoegm Kxtwwgkah would be to you, hence rendering this completely meaningless.

Neither of us have anything against paganism, by the way.

Could have fooled me.

(user6): The Abrahamic religons demonized a LOT of pagan gods.

And judging by this spork so far, you probably think that's a good thing.

And it’s laughably obvious that Walker has no clue how to write someone proselytizing sympathetically

Maybe because it's impossible to write it, because proselytizers are terrible people and shouldn't be written sympathetically.

or that muggles lack the imagination to realize there’s something fishy going on here.

According to Rowling, they do.