#His name is Reaper and he is so traumatized and so sweet.

[liliannadelaphinehartifelt]

Hi there,

Saw your post about Cajun/cowboy Alastor and OMG! I don’t have many ideas other then maybe he plays poker for souls or something like that and maybe a reader comes into town and is just as good at poker as he is. And he cannot seem to win, leading him to become mildly obsessed over winning their soul.

Thats all I have as I don’t know much about cajun/cowboy stuff.

I’ll let you know if I have any other ideas!

Thank you!

Alastor - [ ACE OF HEARTS ]

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A/N: Omg, I love your take on cowboy Al! It got me thinking about it for days. I have never played poker, so I had to watch multiple YouTube videos to understand the game while writing this. Hopefully, it came out accurate enough! Also, this is a very, VERY traumatic/smut-heavy fic I'm working on, so please be aware and know I don't endorse anything I write.

WARNINGS: [ NSFW ] + [ MDNI ] + [ MATURE THEMES ] + [ FEM READER ] + [ GUN PLAY… ] + [ SLIGHT DUB CON….eventually.] + [ SLIGHT/IMPLIED AGE GAP ] + [ MENTIONS OF GORE/BLOOD/CANNABILISM ] + [ KIDNAPPING…sort of?.. ] + [ PARENTAL PHYSICAL AB*SE…eventually..] + [ ANGST/TRUAMA…]

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**Cowboy Alastor** is known for his record of killing, is a skilled bounty hunter, and is far from a decently moral one. Everyone assumes his motives, guessing who his next target is and if he’ll ever feel guilt for what he does to them.

He doesn't.

What kind of demon would he be if he did…

Besides, the people he kills owe him in one way or another, all in debt to the red demon by their stupidity and lust for life, so he feels nothing for them when the time comes for the price of their deals to be paid.

Alastor arrives for them in the dead of dry nights, taking their last breath with a single bullet to the head or a clean cut across the throat. Their pleas do little to affect his decision.

“A deal is a deal…”

He reminds them that escaping a bloody end is impossible, already solidified by their selfish desires, and no amount of begging will change his mind. They curse his name, glaring at the grin on his face as he draws nearer with deathly intent in his eyes, and it only grows as he derives pleasure from their refusal to cooperate.

The riches, the riding, and the roughness he endures daily are nothing compared to the satisfaction he gets from killing. Others may deal in chasing oil, farming land, and cattle, but he stakes his fulfillment in the business of blood.

**Cowboy Alastor** dabbles in gambling when he's not off-striking deals with lowly souls or wreaking havoc on those he deems deserving.

Every city south of New Orleans with a bar or saloon welcomes his visits and not by choice.

Those who don't meet his standards or demands of hospitality drop from the face of the earth at his will, burning to a crisp full of the dead occupants who so lightly offended him, and never to be rebuilt out of fear he'd return to demolish it again.

He surely would, but no one has yet to test the theory in fear of a painful death by his hands.

Alastor leisurely travels the expanse of Louisiana's countryside, partial to riding wherever the wind blows, but he’ll always return to the rumbling city of New Orleans.

Whether for personal reasons or because his beloved mother wished to see him, it becomes second nature for the deer demon to reside there randomly. It was his hometown, after all, and he preferred the taste of whiskey from a familiar place over foreign alcohol in far-off dusty taverns he'd never visit again.

The saloon he fancies sits opposite the central townhouse, a tall building at the end of a main street that never seemed to rest.

Lafitte’s Blacksmith Bar

Summer nights brought out and drew in more people, filling the bar with patrons who knew of his deeds and those who’d only heard scarring stories about him through the ladder. The knowledge of a red reaper roaming the towns of Louisiana varied, but their fearful respect of him was abundant the moment Alastor stepped foot into the bustling bar.

He was there, in good spirits for the most part, but still an impossible threat they couldn't brush off.

**Cowboy Alastor** greets the silent patrons with a sly grin, tipping his hat to the fear-stricken owner who eyed him from behind the packed bar.

“Don't let me interrupt the fun, Cher. I'm not here to cause you trouble… that's if you're kind enough to indulge me.”Alastor chuckles, not waiting for a proper response from anyone as he stalks over to his usual spot in the smokey parlor.

A group of cattlemen stiffen in their seats as he walks by, all grabbing their drinks as swiftly as possible before leaping up from their table to avoid him, and their skittish actions cause Alastor to laugh as he settles into a particular backroom booth.

It was customary for people to keep their distance from him, some deterred by his striking appearance while others simply didn't want to risk involvement with a known killer. He saw nothing wrong with their aversion, glad that his reputation proceeded him, but there were those single few who saw him as a challenge rather than a threat.

Poor fools…

Mortal or not, he ran into them regularly, welcoming their duels like a bored child getting a new toy to destroy, and though he knew they'd fail to win against him, he'd never turn down a good game.

Ever…

**Cowboy Alastor** lets the saloon wind into chaos again, humming along to the melody of music and rowdy singing while getting comfortable in his secluded spot.

His hat rests low on his head, shielding most of his red gaze from those who look his way, only leaving the view of his Cheshire smile and effectively signaling his oddly calm demeanor. Alastor slipped his riding jacket off, tossing the tailored burgundy clothing across the back of the booth, his leather and suede black gloves following suit.

“What a day it's been…” he mumbled while flexing his long fingers, relaxing his posture while leaning back and rolling his neck until a soft ‘pop’ was heard.

Consequently, the tension tangled in his limber body from riding all day unraveled. Alastor sucked his teeth at the feeling, licking his lips as a satisfied groan left them, and just as he sat forward again, the owner hurried to his table with a bottle of alcohol and a tray of cigars.

“Your usual, Al,” he split out, setting the items in front of him with shakey hands, and Alastor clicks his tongue at the nervous tick. He'd come to this bar for years, and the old man still trembled in his boots around him. The poor fool wouldn't dare admit his fear either, rushing off as soon as he reached for the bottle, and though some might consider his retreat rude, Alastor found it amusing.

Flattering, even.

**Cowboy Alastor** drinks slowly, letting the whiskey burn his tongue and drowning the malt taste with languid drags from a cigar.

Eyes scan over him, women whisper about him lustfully under the rowdy music, and the men keep their senses about them with happy trigger fingers.

Because as they say: “Red Reaper, Red Reaper. The devil's solemn deal keeper. Beware him & the hell he seeks…”

Alastor imposes his intensity, grinning at those who stare too long, watching the women who drink him in with an equally sultry stare, and daring the men to throw a bullet his way with a knowing smirk. He invites trouble, waiting for it like a preying snake in tall, dry grass, but after some time, he assumes no one in the saloon will accept his invitation.

That is until you step in, looking lost among the worldly thrills of a bar but unafraid to venture further into it with an air of certainty surrounding you.

**Cowboy Alastor** makes no move to approach you, laid back as ever, as he observes the gentle way you speak to men who drunkenly approach you. They make offers to dance, almost crowding your more diminutive form as you trail to the bar.

“Sorry, boys, but I'm here on business, not pleasure. Now, run along..” you wave them away playfully, purposely flirtatious but avidly stern.

He expects them to continue bugging you; you're a doll, after all, prettier than most women he's seen. However, the men retreat politely, leaving you be as the owner approaches your side, and you immediately turn to hug him despite his apparent concerned expression.

Alastor observes the exchange closely, reading your lips perfectly while sipping at his drink, and it's all too easy for him to assess the situation.

The daughter of a businessman returns home after finishing school in the north, wanting to visit him at work as a pleasant surprise, but he's far from happy about a young lady like yourself being out late at night in a place like this.

You're too mannered to be seen around the patrons, it's dangerous for you to ride alone in the evening, and your father isn't pleased you intend to stay out to celebrate your school completion.

He tells you it's best to go home, that he'll come with you, but you insist on staying and remind him, “I'm not your little girl anymore, Daddy!..” The older man can't seem to rein you in, having to drop the lecture as a small brawl breaks out in the corner of the saloon, which draws his attention immediately, and this leaves you to wander the scene freely.

A perfect time for Alastor to reel you in close and personal…

**Cowboy Alastor** whistles when you walk past his area, catching your attention with a short, soulful melody, and you quickly notice him in the dim back room.

“Hi there, lil’ lady. Searchin' for somethin'?” He inquires playfully, tone bordering sensual, and his grin slipping into a closed smile as your gaze settles on him.

You’re curious, not scared of him like most are, and the moment he speaks to you, questions race through your head.

Who is he?

How have you never seen him here before?

Why, in God's name, is he sitting away from the masses?

Is he a rider, a hunter, or maybe a convict?

It was hard to tell from a distance, so without a second thought, you flashed him a gentle smile, gradually approaching where he sat, “Hello, and who might you be, sir?” You chirp a greeting, resisting the urge to bite your lip as he stares into your wandering gaze.

Alastor assumed you’d been away from the South too long to realize who he was, that your father's earlier warning didn’t sprout from overprotectiveness but rather fear of his presence.

You didn’t see him as a threat, nor a danger, but a new face in an old town.

He chuckles, putting out his cigar after taking a particularly long drag from it, blowing smoke past his lips with a coy hum. You blink as the convoluted air fans your face, unbothered by it and itching for a taste of tobacco yourself. It’d been a few years since you’d let loose, not allowed to frequent bars or act unladylike in the limelight of northern modesty.

“A loyal patron, but it’s been some time since I’ve paid this place a visit.” He answers you politely, an odd trait that most men only reserved for themselves but refreshing to experience.

“Oh, well, that’s nice to hear, but your name is what I would like to know.”

A tender smirk stretches your lips, a red hue dusting your cheeks as he tips his hate apologetically before uttering a response, “Alastor Hartifelt. A pleasure to meet you, Miss…” he pauses, quirking a brow at you expectantly, and you take a moment to analyze him further.

You've heard your father utter his name many times before your departure to the north. He'd described him brutally, having less than pleasant things to say about bounty hunters in general but especially about the man in front of you now. You'd heard people talk of his deeds, deals, and evil.

He was dubbed the ‘Red Reaper’ for a good reason, lurking around in the bitter nights and drawing blood from one poor soul or another in his travels.

Supposedly, he was a terrifying monster, but you'd always found beauty in the demented. It was one of the reasons your father had sent you away, but fortunately, the influence of the posh upper class did nothing to change your consciousness.

Besides, the rumors had failed to mention how attractive the red reaper was, let alone dashing. He seemed nice enough hadn't flashed his weapon, threatened, or catcalled you disrespectfully.

So, you found no harm in telling him your name, “Y/n L/n. It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Hartifelt.” You blink slowly, drowning in his red eyes, unconsciously swaying where you stood, back to a wall that hid your presence near him from your father's eyes and the curious stares of others.

Alastor glanced at the space beside him, silently asking that you join him, but unlike most women, he rarely took an interest in, you didn't move until he asked you outright.

“Would you care to join me for a drink, Miss L/n? I'd like to have your company for a while..”

He doesn't speak any louder than needed, using every bit of charm he has to lure you in, and you let him believe he's succeeded with a sensual laugh and purring laugh.

“Why, I thought you'd never ask..”

**Cowboy Alastor** asks a lot of questions. Subtly gathering information about you that he has no use for.

You give him answers; some are lies, others are indiscriminate truths, but you can't bring yourself to be completely honest with a stranger known for his cunning. He keeps your glass full, pacing the liquor with you, reveling in your gentle laughter after every sip, and softening faster and faster the longer you conversed.

You kept your wits about you as best as possible, inviting his fleeting touches but never going further than whispering in his ear or tapping a finger under his sharp chin when he'd stare too long.

Alastor didn't mind your soft hands on him, nor your lingering gaze and confident provocations. He absentmindedly returned the gestures just as boldly.

Your fifth glass of whiskey was running low, and without a hint of hesitation, he refilled it alongside his own. You watched as the amber liquid filled each glass, utterly relaxed as he spoke to you tenderly, “You say your father sent you far up north. May I ask why?…”

He peers at you, sliding the transparent glass into your waiting hand, and you chuckle wryly while taking a sip. “Daddy says it was for my good. You see, my mother is a stickler about manners, and I didn't have much of any growing up. Ironic, seeing as I was raised well enough.” you paused, frowning at the memory of your strict but loving mother.

She was lovely to look at and kind most of the time, but her ambitions for you outweighed her patience. Alastor noted the haunting sadness in your eyes but said nothing as you continued, looking out into the crowd of patrons fussing about as you did.

“My mother died a few years back, leaving daddy to handle me, and when he realized he couldn't manage the business and a daughter, he sent me away. Couldn't blame him either; I was getting into trouble left and right and had some bad habits on the rise, too.”

His ears perked at the words ‘bad habits’ leaving your lips, naturally drawn to knowing a mortal's darkest secrets, so he pressed for clarification.

“Bad habits, you say? I couldn't imagine a sweet thing like you havin’ such things.”

You scoffed, glad your cheeks were flushed from the alcohol buzz to mask the blush his comment invoked, “Well…I did. Still do if I'm honest.” you admit in a hushed tone, knocking back the last of your drink before glancing his way.

“It's hard to resist doing things you're good at.”

Alastor leaned back into the seat, drink in one hand, the other fixing his hat so it sat back on his head. The adjustment gave you a peek at his fluffy red hair and the distinctive blood-marked x on his forehead. You thought to ask what the mark meant but saved the question for later, as he agreed with your statement.

“Very true, ma chere. Although I'm one for killin’, your passion may not be so grizzly and easier to alleviate.”

“My father thinks gambling is just as bad as killing. It doesn't matter if he's addicted to it himself or not. If I do it…I'm the devil's daughter in his eyes..” You roll your eyes, an action that jolts a nerve Alastor hasn't felt in years and subconsciously doesn't ignore.

“Gambling? That's your unproper poison?” he narrows his gaze as you nod lazily, a few ringlets of your hair falling from its pinned-up style as you do, resting on the skin of your shoulders and neck.

Soft.

Your locks look soft and silky to the touch, tempting him to run his fingers through it, across your skin, and, god forbid, under your dress.

A heavy breath settled in his chest at the possibility, a familiar rush coursing through him as you moved your lips to speak, “Yes. I see a stack of playin’ cards, and I just can't help myself. I got rather good at playing too but when you beat everyone in town at it people start to be less kind about your reputation.”

You laugh, attempting to make a light-hearted joke but ultimately grimacing at the mention of lousy sportsmanship from others. You couldn't help winning a challenge in poker, and many saw the talent as disgraceful, which prompted I'll rumor about you.

“That's a shame, sugar. Everyone deserves a chance to play a good game of their choosing.” he feigns concern, meeting your curious eyes as you shift to face him, “Everyone except me if my father has anything to say about it. Still, I suppose it's best I let it go…” you sigh, grabbing the bottle of whiskey to pour another shot.

Suddenly, you freeze, feeling his body heat invade your space. Alastor tilts his head down close to yours, breathing in your scent discretely before pressing his lips to the lobe of your ear as he mutters into it, “Why don't you play a game with me, chere? One lil’ round for fun… right under your daddy's nose, hm?”

The burn of excitement seizes your body, a shakey breath leaving your lips as his voice settles in your mind, inviting you to indulge his offer. That same heat pooled in your core with every second he spent in your space, inhaling the scent of bourbon and sweet sugar cane grass he rode through radiating off him, words just as inviting and addictive.

For a horrifying, well-feared killer, he sure did entice a woman like any natural-born gentleman…

It was a deathly combination you knew he often used, killing or not, and though it'd be wise to avoid his idea, you didn't want to risk missing an opportunity for the thrill.

It'd been so long, too long, and what's the worst that could happen?

Losing to him?

You'd never lost to anyone before, and you were confident that fact wouldn't change -even going up against the Red Reaper himself.

**Cowboy Alastor** relishes when you utter a ‘yes’ to his offer. His grin widens menacingly for a split second as he sets his glass down next to your empty one, conjuring up a meticulously detailed deck of playing cards and placing them on the table.

“You can choose which game we play, sugar…”

Alastor shifts away from you, letting you regain your composure and watching as your delicate fingers reach for the top card of the deck.

“Poker. A favorite of mine..” You didn't think twice before answering him, admiring the red and black ace in your hand, wondering where he acquired such personalized playing cards.

“Poker it is then, chere,” he smirks wickedly, removing his hat entirely to set it on the table before gingerly plucking the card from your hold and sliding to sit opposite you while dishing out equal amounts of cards between you.

Your eyes light up under the oil lamp's golden hue, studying the flick of his hands as he worked, trying hard not to wander up to his piercing gaze. Afraid he'd immediately see your attraction to his nimble hands, well to him in general, and use it against you somehow, so your focus remains on the hand dealt and not him.

As you both plucked your respective set from the table, studying the cards intently, you asked the singular most crucial question every poker match was built on.

“What will the bets be,” Your innocent inquiry earns sultry laughter from him, filling the air, raising feverish chills on your skin as he stares at you through half-lidded eyes.

“I prefer bargains of the soul, my dear. The use and price of one's existence is always more valuable than money, don't you agree?”

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A/N: Don't be mad AT ME, GUYS, PLEASE. I HAD EXAMS LAST WEEK. I'm SORRY FOR DROPPING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH… sort of, but I'm back now (please do hate me :((( ). Uh, so I might merge “Down in the Dust” with this because both stories kinda originated in my brain at the same time. However, since this is a request, I wrote a two-part tangent smut as a sort of prequel to the other fic! Also, the phrase “Save a horse. Ride a cowboy” will be unironically used…I'm sorry (I'm not lol) ❤️

[ BONUS CONTENT + ] VOLUME WARNING!!! 🗣️

Fun fact: In the South, we have a rule that if you take a cowboy hat and end up wearing it, they catch you with it (preferably in the mutual interest of getting to know each other). That cowboy gets to fuck you (hopefully, but technically you're initiating a flirting game wearing their hat, lol). It's a cute concept and one any Cowboy Alastor enthusiast should think about. ❤️ credits to the creator.

[wehaveimagineshere]

Hello there, Ren! I absolutely fell in love with your Carlos fic, so I'm here to ask for another one! The prompt I was thinking of is Carlos' s/o (gn preferably) comforting him through PTSD symptoms like a recurring nightmare or a flashback (cuz his backstory is insanely traumatic + the whole RC incident is bound to mess someone up). He's such a sweet guy who deserves more love, and I love the way you write him. I'll definitely be back for more from time to time. You both have a nice day!

Hi Anon! Thank you so much! <3 Carlos deserves so much love and I got so excited seeing another request for him! Yes, please, come back as often as those ideas hit! I can't wait to see you again (:

I hope you have a good day too! And a good week, cause you definitely made mine!

~*~*~

People never quite understand how suddenly things can change.

Movies have a build up, an obvious path from "here" to "there." The little easter eggs, the little foreshadowing, the description on the back of the case. But real life is never so simple.

A five year old could never understand why his mother pulls him from his bed in the middle of the night, tears streaming down her face. Her hushed but frantic whispering that everything would be alright as the door smashes open and hands drag both of them out into the living room.

The men, unfamiliar and smelling of sweat and blood, are just hazy silhouettes in his memories now, in his dreams. Silver moonlight glinting off their guns, mechanisms he'd glimpsed once in his older brother's hands but not knowing the name for at the time, pierce through the dark as more figures drag out the rest of his family.

As they drag out his older brother, who won't go down without a fight.

His dreams can never decide exactly how long that fight lasts. Seconds or minutes, all he knows is the blur of fists, the laughing and tauntings of the strange men, the screaming and pleading of his mother, and that one gunshot.

The gunshot that silences his mother as she wraps her body around his, as if she can hide him from the present, from the pain and confusion it'll bring. She can't cover his ears, though, as the wet thud of his lifeless brother hits the floor.

As the man with the gun aims it at his mother, quiet, dark words spitting from his mouth before he leaves, taking his gang with him.

His mother rocks, his small frame rocking with her, as she sobs into his torn and dirty shirt. As she mutters that signature "It's okay, we'll be okay," her fingers threading through his hair in an attempt to soothe.

A five year old child cannot comprehend death, killing, so he doesn't know to not look. To not peek through the curtain of his mother's hair to the heap on the floor. He doesn't understand why his brother doesn't move, why he--

But he does. It starts with a twitch of the fingers, then a spasm in the arms. Bracing his arms underneath him, his brother jerkily lifts himself up, saliva and blood dripping from his lips. And when he looks up...

It's the eyes of the dead. Milky white, skin ashen and sickly. He knows, then. Some deep, primal part of him knows that he's staring at his reaper, that his mother has no idea their deaths will come in the form of her own son, brought back by the devil himself.

His brother lunges, and he can do nothing as his mother screams, ripped away from him as blood spurts and bodies writhe as she tries to get away, as his brother clamps on with inhuman strength, teeth deep in her throat--

Carlos jerks away, air sawing into his lungs as his eyes dart about. Muscles tight, unsure if he should move or stay, he swings his head--

"Hey," comes a soft whisper. "You're alright, Carlos. You're okay."

"It'll be alright, little Carlos, we'll be okay."

Moving to stand but finding them bound, his shaking hands start yanking at the bindings.

"Carlos. Sweetie. You're in bed. You got tangled up in the blankets. You're okay. You're safe."

"Sweet little Carlos, mommy will protect you, it'll be okay."

The ripping of fabric finally makes him pause, heart slamming against his ribcage.

"Carlos. It was a dream. Just a dream. We're in bed, the doors are locked, it's just you and me."

Curling in on himself, he tries to focus on his breathing, to try not to hyperventilate.

You help walk him through it.

"Deep inhale through your nose, honey. Count to five. One. Two. Three. Four. Release. There you go. One more time. One. Two."

He follows your instructions the best he's able, clinging to the soothing sound of your voice, clinging to each count and exhale, and slowly, oh so slowly, the death grip on the ripped comforter relaxes.

"There you go. I have some water. Do you want some?"

It takes him a few seconds to nod.

"Alright. It's a glass. It's a little cool to the touch."

Shifting so he's facing you, the glass in your hand outstretched, he takes it and swallows deeply, not realizing how hot he is until the cold water slides down his chest, shocking his senses.

He puts the cool glass up against his sweat slicked forehead.

"It should be about three in the morning right now," you continue, feet tucked underneath you. "I turned on the light in the hallway and drew the right side of our curtains. I also got some towels."

Setting down the glass on his bedside table, he turns back to a hand towel laid neatly in front of your knees. Absently he reaches for it, dragging it across his brow.

"I can wet one or two if you need. Just let me know."

Exhaling, he finally attempts his voice. "I'm alright."

Deep, gravelly, haunted. He barely even recognizes it.

"I know, it's okay."

Lowering the towel, he holds out a hand, one you gingerly take. Tugging you close, he rests his forehead against the crook of your neck and inhales, the familiar, soothing scent of you wrapping around his heart.

"May I run my fingers through your hair?"

He nods. "I'm alright," he says again against your skin, the words a little more stable.

"Okay." You start at the base of his neck and run up, catching the small knots in his hair and gently working them out, nails softly scratching his scalp.

He practically melts, an arm snaking around your waist to draw you onto his lap. Wrapping your free hand around him, you rest your head against his as you keep threading your fingers through his hair, not caring how drenched in sweat he is.

Sweat can be washed off.

"When I say I'm the reason you never get any sleep," you hear him say, "I don't mean like this."

You huff a chuckle. "Nobody needs to know that. It'll remain our little secret."

There's an uncertain pause. "Thank you."

"Carlos. I told you I'd always be here for you, and I meant it." You kiss his temple. "I always mean it."

"I know. I just..." He squeezes you tight for just a moment.

You squeeze back. "We've all got our monsters under the bed. Some are just bigger than others. And thankfully, we share a bed now."

His lips brush your shoulder as he smiles. Lifting his head to place a kiss on your forehead, he moves down to your cheek, then captures your mouth.

It's soft and sweet, the kiss, the thank you that Carlos could never fully put into words. He pulls away for just a moment, to look into the eyes that have saved him time and time again, before drawing you in once more.

You place a hand against his cheek as he pulls away again, a palm he nuzzles into. The smile that blooms across your lips squeezes his heart, once again reminded of how lucky he is to hold you, kiss you, call you his.

"Think you'll be able to sleep?" you ask, the movement of your lips distracting.

"Not for a while," he replies.

"Well, we have more of that show we were watching."

He dips to your lips again and murmurs against them, "We're already in bed."

Your mouth quirk and you pull back to give him a look. "At the very least, you need to wipe all this sweat off."

The sly smirk that finds its way onto his lips feels right, a little more himself. "Just so you can get me all sweaty again?"

"So I know you're sweaty because of me," you respond without a beat, a playful grin brightening your face as you reach for a towel and smoosh his face in it.

"A cruel Majesty you are," comes the faux hurt muffled reply.

You kiss what you can only guess is his nose through the towel. "You love me though."

"I do."

Releasing the towel, your smile softens as you see the look on his face. The openness only you're allowed to witness. "Love you too, big guy."

[centuryberry]

Extra pilgrim au sounds amazing! Yue gets to be the magical she's always wanted to be and in modern day no less! And macaque is known as his beloved? Amazing.

I laughed so much when i read the Imperial harem au summary, dude gets to see what yue had to deal with thats fantastic.

I'm absolutely loving these and could we get some sneaky peaks?

Extra Pilgrim AU finally has Yue realize her Magical Girl dreams. Since she never met her long-lost uncle until adulthood, Yue lived her life thinking that she couldn’t do magic and rolled with it until Macaque went: Surprise! You’re actually a well of untapped potential!

At least MK has a partner in his training and heroics lol.

Other tidbits about this AU:

- Shanzha is technically still married to Wukong legally since there was no official divorce (a lot of things happened on both sides so they kinda forgot lol)

- The Celestial Realm claimed Shanzha as their own once and took her away from Yue against her will. (Thankfully, Yue was at a teen age as this point so she was able to fend for herself)

- Shanzha definitely used her “marriage” to Wukong to finally get her back to the mortal realm after many failed escape attempts and currently lives in Wukong’s Shame Temple and upkeeps it

- RinRin was so competent that Diyu made her into a Reaper where she could return to the mortal realm and decided to visit her ex husband

- DBK was never sealed under the mountain. Red Son features as a minor villain since he was in his rebellious phase. (Cue Yue punching him)

- Yue works part time at Pigsy’s as delivery and server. She’s employee of the month

As for the Imperial Harem Novel AU, the Wukong in this AU is just an average guy who happened to share the name of a character in a novel he reads at the recommendation of a friend. (He hates it.) Unfortunately, he dies before he can finish it.

Other tidbits about this AU:

- Wukong is a lovable loser with ADHD who is somehow more competent than his novel counterpart

- Wukong spams the HELL out of the amnesia trope since he woke up right after the Monkey King suffered a traumatic head injury

- RinRin’s frustration, Macaque’s Resentment, and Shanzha’s fear all kinda disappear at the face of this earnest and sweet version of their husband and they don’t know what to do about it

- (Actually, they do know what to do about it but for some reason their husband isn’t visiting anyone’s chambers anymore during the night and it’s driving them crazy.)

- Meanwhile, Wukong is being respectful since he technically not married to these gorgeous people and finds a solution to his heir problem when he brings Yue in at Shanzha’s tearful request. He dotes on the child and names her his heir

- Eventually, Wukong slowly starts dissolving the harem. He plans to free Shanzha from her political hostage role and make her a citizen, properly break things off with Macaque, and leave FFM in RinRin’s hands before going off on his own to find a way back home

- (Lol he fails ofc since the three team up to convince him otherwise. They’re very convincing.)

I’m more than happy to share more about these AUs so ask away about them!

[cookiesandbiscuits]

About the Baker: Additional Information

Hi, it's me, your resident baker girl! This post are for those who want to interact with me/want to be moots and wish to know what my interests are!

And so, here we are!

BASIC PERSONAL INFO:

Name: Cookie or Cass (pick whichever you're comfortable with)

Age: 18

Pronouns: She/Her

Likes: chilly weather, books, sweets, sea, music, starry skies, DUCKS!, cats, foxes, forests, hot anime guys/fictional characters

Dislikes: COCKROACHES, garlic, hot weather, annoying noises

INTERESTS:

1. Anime:

- Yumeiro Patisserie

- Toilet Bound Hanako-kun

- Kamisama Kiss

- Cardcaptor Sakura

- Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle

- Gugure! Kokkuri-san

- Hell Girl

- Studio Ghibli movies

2. Manga:

- Toilet Bound Hanako-kun

- Mairimashita! Iruma-kun

- Ouran High School Host Club

- Kamisama Kiss

- Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle

3. Mobile Games:

- Obey Me!

- Ikemen Vampire

- Twisted Wonderland

- Cats Are Liquid

4. Webtoon (there's a LOT ^^;)

- I'm the Grim Reaper

- Siren's Lament

- Eaternal Nocturnal

- Regina Rena: To The Unforgiven

- Lore Olympus

- I'm the Queen in This Life

- The Remarried Empress

- Surviving Romance

- See You in My 19th Life

- Omniscient Reader

- The Guy Upstairs

5. K-drama/Shows:

- Goblin

- Hotel del Luna

- I'm Not a Robot

- Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story

- The Lost Recipe

- Maria Clara at Ibarra

6. Cartoons

- Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir

- Star Vs. The Forces of Evil

- The Owl House

- Amphibia

- Gravity Falls

- Steven Universe

7. Movie Genres:

- Horror/Thriller

- Adventure/Fantasy

- Romance

- Comedy

- Mystery

8. Science, esp. Astronomy, Geology, Biology, Paleontology

9. History!!

10. Arts & Crafts, and Interior Design

FAVORITE CHARACTERS <3333 (not in specific order)

Lucifer (Obey Me!) - Luci!! The love of my life, my starlight, the apple of my eye... My No. 1 husbando (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Ikemen Vampire) - Mo-Mo!! My lovely prickly pear!! Comes VERY close to Luci when it comes to my levels of simping

Solomon (Obey Me!) - funky magic man!! A guy I would probably have a crush on irl #1

Floyd Leech (Twisted Wonderland) - My tackle hug buddy!! We're a chaos-incarnate when combined >:3

Azul Ashengrotto (Twisted Wonderland) - A guy I would probably have a crush on irl #2

Riddle Rosehearts (Twisted Wonderland) - The character who made me interested in TWST. Also a guy who I'd probably have a love-hate relationship with irl.

Teru Minamoto (Toilet Bound Hanako-kun) - I would defend this guy from his haters!

Tsuchigomori (Toilet Bound Hanako-kun) - He's nice :D

Yako (Toilet Bound Hanako-kun) - A QUEEN! Also very goofy

Joker (Kaitou Joker) - First anime crush but would annoy the hell out of me irl. My darling toebeans.

Howl Jenkins Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle) - a crushable handsome wizard in the movie, a goofy magic man in the book

Rena Rubel (Regina Rena: To The Unforgiven) - ANOTHER QUEEN!! My TWST Yuusona Elyssabeth Alcyone is based on her

Kalego Naberius (Mairimashita! Iruma-kun) - My secret manga husbando (have you seen him in the manga?? He's hot >///<)

Tomoe (Kamisama Kiss) - I can't believe I forgot to add him here. Malewife material fr.

Arthur Conan Doyle (Ikemen Vampire) - 🥹😘❤️❤️❤️ He's so... he's so... ❤️❤️���️ I love him so much AAAAAAA!!! Also someone who's VERY close to Luci when it comes to the amount of simping I did over him. Very stinky at first but he'll grow on you. A very very sweet (and traumatized) guy. I would love to marry and take care of him.

Dazai Osamu (Bungo Stray Dogs) - Scared the hell out of me the first time I saw him from Auburn's post. A silly, goofy, and unhinged guy.

[keithsangstyass]

Okay this is legit one of my favorite drawings I just....UGH!!! More info under the cut bc I need to rant about these two

So on the left is my OC: Skylar AKA “Reaper”. He’s my sad pathetic punching bag of an OC and I fucking love him. He has a twin sister (Harper AKA “Siren”) and his mom’s the CEO of a tech company who also lowkey experimented on him and his sister when they were kids. Skylar took the brunt of most of the experiments and is reaaaaaal fuckin traumatized from that. He also may have a demon in him that gives him shadow powers. Don’t worry about it.

And yes, he does have a scythe. Bc it’s cool as fuck. Its name is “Sleek”.

On the right is my girlfriend’s OC Emily AKA “Sage”. She’s just...so fucking good. So sweet. But CRAZY powerful. She controls the elements ATLA style. And sometimes she loses control of those powers (:< But more importantly she’s so good to Skylar and he needs it bc the poor boy’s just so fucked up.

So just...the impact of seeing Skylar smile like that just hurts my heart. He’s usually just a tiny ball of rage (he’s like 5′2″), but Emily makes him so soft, and happy and I cry-

I also just have fond memories of these two bc my girlfriend asked me out again after we did a session of MASKS with them XD and it was so sweet and UGH

Anyways, doubt anyone read this, but it makes me happy to rant about them. They’re so cute. I love this picture. UGH

[yeetskeetiwandelete]

(writes something fucked up)

(writes something fucked up)

(writes something fucked up)

(realize you've been repeatedly writing about the same poor character going through hell)

(writes something sweet)

(writes something fucked up)

(writes something fucked up)

[aizawasbrazybaby]

Hisagi x Black Reader (NSFW)

Warnings: Dom/Master Male, Sub Female, Sex Work, pet names (ex. Pumpkin), Handjob, Praise Kink, Groping, Nipple Play, Cheater! Hisagi, Cock Tease, dubcon?? (He doesn’t ask just does it, this is also just a safety tag), Misogynist comments, Not fully proof read

•

A/N: Hey my loves! As you know I’m rewatching bleach and as a result I could write a 50 page article about how my cooch turns into the pacific ocean every time this man appears on my screen but I’ll traumatize you all another time! Enjoy this smutty messʕ-᷅ᴥ-᷄ʔ

~

~

~

Whatever it takes

There weren’t many special parlors in the soul society. Just about all of them were either hidden in plain sight or crumbling from going out of business.

A medium shack held up nicely. Freshly polished wood clung to the building. Dark oak stairs led to a room with tatami flooring. Thick soundproof walls barricaded individual rooms.

It wasn’t a secret what went down in the place. Rumors and speculation flooded the neighborhoods. On several occasions it led to reapers investigating for weeks on end.

It didn’t take much to buy the men’s silence but it surely came at a hefty price. Business took a hard blow. That was until he came around. Fairly tall slender man, everyone knew to be Shuhei. Parading down the dirt roads with his wife clinging to his arm.

At every chance he got he showed her off. Stores, food stands, even the days he was supposed to be at home getting well rested he took her out.

On the other hand he was equivalent to a dog. Boasting his infidelity like a badge of honor. Going on and on about how much he loved her before you jacked him off.

Shuhei been a loyal client of yours fore well over a year. That’s all he was. A wealthy client. Nothing more nothing less. A door slid open familiar face in view.

“Master Hisagi! So nice to see you again,” a large grin crossed your mouth.

Shutting the door behind himself he undid the tie to his robe, “can say the same pumpkin.”

You smoothed wrinkles out a white sheet that stretched across a padded table. Several scented body oils rested nearby flowers and herbs floating inside.

“Happy ending or full body?”

A grey bag swung from his digets. Metal rings clinked against each other.

“Let’s try the Happy Ending Premium.”

“But master there’s no such-,” your eyes stuck to the kan for a second longer than you’d like to admit, “very well, please, lie down.”

Plum peony oil dripped on his chest. The slippery substance lathered his body. Shuhei’s smooth skin shined like porcelain. A masterpiece of a man he was.

You let your robe drop to the floor climbing over his legs. Pressure stimmed from his calf’s to his knees then his thighs. Slowly inching to his cock.

“Wife hasn’t been meeting all your needs I see,” you said noticing how hard he was within a couple seconds.

“She’s pregnant,” he sighed, “scared I may be too rough, won’t even let me kiss her.”

“Pumpkin if I got you pregnant would you let me kiss you?” he played with your breast.

You lied. If it weren’t for the job you would want nothing to do with a man like Shuhei.

“Of coarse master Hisagi. I’d let you touch me anytime.”

He pulled your face to his, groaning in a kiss. He was a beautiful man up close. Shame he was a complete piece of shit. Lusting over another woman when he had a wife carrying his child.

“You could make a sinner change his ways with hands as angelic as yours,” he smiled.

“Thank you ma- ahh.”

Hisagi grabbed your hips grinding your exposed pussy onto his shaft. His eyes rolled feeling how wet you got from jerking him off.

“Please, allow me,” you took control. Fingers pressed into his sides. Your cunt slid from the base to the tip of his perfectly curved dick.

“Very good pumpkin,” he fondled the fat in your ass, “no penetration mmkay.”

Your insides convulsed around nothing. Yearning to be stuffed full. His thumbs circled your hard nubs, index giving them a teasing squeeze.

“My sweet girl,” he hummed, “let me taste you.”

His arms harnessed you up leaning your chest to his lips. They latched onto your boobs suckling gently enough to push you over the edge.

You hips bucked on their own, wining and humping. Mewls and moans filled the spaced out room. Both too deep in a state of ecstasy care how loud you were being.

That if the head of the parlor heard so much as a satisfied breath from you, you’d be fired immediately. In her words, ‘in this industry you are to be used for pleasure not receiving any.’

Shuhei guided you by the waist as he came closer. The fresh sheet now holding more than sweat and oil. His tongue greeted yours once again.

“Fuck it.”

His dick easily plunged in your pussy, pumping until he was at his high. Nails sunk in your skin. Ropes of cum covered your insides.

He flipped you over pounding until you yelped. His head pressed against your cervix as your walls milked him for every bit of his nut.

“Sorry if I scared you pumpkin,” he slowly pulled out, “eight months without intercourse does somethin to a mans body.”

Taking a towelette you wiped his body down, “no need to apologize master as long as you’re content I am as well.”

He snatched the same towel from your hand cleaning up the mixed cum that ran down your thigh.

“I should get going,” he tied a knot in his robe, “don’t need the Mrs getting suspicious.”

Hisagi pecked your forehead, “maybe I’ll catch you outside of work one of these days.”

“One day.”

Sliding the door back he stretched his arms, putting on a show for everyone, “feeling refreshed already!”

[cathedral-spires]

Introducing my GW2 Commanders

Long post with pictures under the cut. I took some liberties with the canon and I’m not sorry.

Ciela Marquis

Class/Specialization: Warrior/Berserker Wields: Greatsword, Mace/Axe

Growing up in Divinity’s Reach orphanage until she was of age, Ciela was no stranger to judgement and the terrible happenings to the world. She learned from a very young age that she could not rely on anyone. She also learned it is better to have thick skin and to have a tough exterior at all times. She watched her peers come and go, learned of awful circumstances that put them there, and grew to be sharp in the world. She was a fierce protector of the young children, and she was not the nicest person to strangers.

When she aged out, she joined the Lunatic Guard and served under Mad King Thorn. She was impressive with her fighting skills and her undying loyalty to the crown. The conflict between Oswald and Edrick became explosive and after some extremely traumatizing events, Ciela sided with Edrick. She swore to serve, protect, and die for the Prince if she had to.

Her unwavering loyalty to Edrick is frightening, and colors her morals as such.

(I consider her my only real “Commander.” Everyone else would not be able to handle the pressure of fighting Elder Dragons and taking down Liches.)

Phytalae

Class/Specialization: Necromancer/Reaper Wields: Greatsword, Axe/Warhorn

After a near-death run in with the Nightmare Court, Phyta started studying necromancy as a way to cope. If one can control death, they cannot be harmed by it. She excelled and made a name for herself with her skills. Necromancy is seen as a dark art, so it did not win her many friends. She left the Grove and joined the fight against Zhaitan and the other elder dragons. She eventually chose to specialize in power and became a Reaper. She looks fierce in her armor and with her large sword. Phyta is sweet and she’s more likely to feed someone rather than cut them down. She enjoys reading, jewelry making, and taking care of her minions.

She began her research on necromancy, Grenth, and funeral rites and culture during her time with the Priory. She made a name for herself with her research on the Awakened and Crystal Desert’s culture around the Dead.

Garret Hawkmaze

Class/Specialization: Thief/Deadeye Wields: Rifle, Sword/Pistol

Garret was the middle child of three boys. His parents ran Hawkmaze Farm. a Queensdale wheat farm that supplied grain to local bakeries and breweries. His farm was destroyed by Bandits. They robbed his family, killed his younger brother and parents, and took him and his older brother. He was about 11 years old at the time. He was a hostage and servant for the bandits for an unknown amount of time. During this period, his older brother was killed by the bandits after he tried to escape. Garret picked up his thieving skills from the bandits; he mostly taught himself. He escaped the bandits and lived on the streets of Destiny’s Reach during his teens.

He did anything he could to survive; Steal, fight, lie. He became a great pickpocket and squatted in abandoned buildings. He enjoyed whiskey, gambling, and cigarettes. He became very good at cheating in cards. He was a familiar face to the guards. He joined the Order of Whispers to get out of jail time. He became a skilled sniper and grew to have a shred of discipline.

He was forced to retire from the Whispers after being blown off a hillside in Drizzlewood. A bomb blew up near him and had severe wounds. He ended up losing his right eye from the incident. He returned to Destiny’s Reach, where he bought a home and adjusted to normal life. He took up raptor racing and is pretty successful. His raptor’s name is Rex and he only has two brain cells.

Garret is still a shit head. He still enjoys whiskey, gambling, and cigarettes. He’s gay as hell too.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

So, something that I think about a lot when it comes to Steve Rogers is that he came from an point in time where people were being (brutally) institutionalized for things like being gay. And while he’s a good example of not being the product of his time, I wonder if it left any impact on him. Having personally grown up in a hyper religious household with outdated views stemmed from homophobia, sexism, misogyny just to make a few, and realizing by the age of eight that I was queer was extremely traumatic to me for a lot of reasons, but circling back to the point. Especially with him having been sick his entire early life, my personal headcanon is that he’s bisexual. He grew up knowing not to talk about it, but heard time and time again that it meant there was something deeply wrong with him. That it was a sickness. It was only when he went through the serum trial that he realized, when he was still the same in that sense, that there wasn’t anything wrong with him. That it didn’t make him sick and there wasn’t anything to be fixed. He never projected those feelings before or after onto anybody else, but it helped open his eyes and make him better understand that part of himself. Then flashing forward to present day, he gets to watch ground breaking developments in equality and pride. Parades, legalized marriage, foundations, fierce allies, etc. At this point, I’m just indulging a lot of my own feelings/stuff that’s been on my mind with this one, but I was wondering if I could submit a request with you? I love the way you write and I think your blog is absolutely amazing. The idea I have in mind is that as incredible as all of these strides are compared to the time he came from, he slowly starts to realize that there’s still a long way to go. When he meets Transmasc!reader(he/him), they fall in love. They’ve managed to build as much of a domestic life as they can with Steve doing the whole Cap/Avengers thing, but it hits a point where Reader is happy. Not just with the life they have with Steve or their relationship, but how far he’s come and the person he’s become in spite of the odds he’s always felt stacked against him growing up. He takes the ultimate step to get the closure he needs, and decide to bring him back home to meet his parents. It would be the first time seeing his family since he’s started his transition (top surgery and testosterone) so he’s terrified, but hopeful, and he has his loving boyfriend with him, so he feels safe inserting himself in that situation again. But upon returning home, the family reunion goes about as well as you’d expect. Steve reaches his boiling point after listening to Readers parents consistently and systematically misgender/dead name him. So, Steve (aggressively) stands up for Reader and they leave, but in the aftermath of it all, Reader is distraught and heartbroken and slightly dysphoric from the way his parents talked about him, calling him the “sweet little girl” they used to know and treating him like some kind of monster. Steve being Steve, comforts him through this. Validating and reassuring them all the while. I understand that this is a heavy topic, so I completely get it if you don’t want to write it, but thank you anyway for your time and reading this far -💙

I love your head-canon! It would make so much sense that the serum fixed all his ailments but he was still attracted to men so of course it proves it’s not a sickness 💙

It was so hard writing this because I absolutely hated the readers parents and just trying to imagine having to face any piece of shit who isn’t accepting (especially blood), made me want to drown them in a vat of Carolina reaper chilli sauce because it is hotter than the fiery pits of hell. 

Thank you for trusting me to write this and I hope you enjoy it 💙

Found Family || Steve Rogers x transmasc!reader

Warnings: syringe/injection, transphobia (this is not condoned!), angst, fluff WC: 2268

Main Masterlist || Steve’s Masterlist

You stood in front of the mirror, as you often did, finding yourself deep in thought as you looked at your changing body. For so long you had hated mirrors because they could never reflect who you were, but now you traced the fading lines on your chest with a smile. You couldn’t believe how heavy those two lumps of flesh had weighed on your mind every day until they were gone. 

Movement pulled you away from the scarring and you saw Steve waking in the bed behind you, a sleepy smile growing as he saw you standing in all your glory. His hand reached out from under the warm blankets and you let him pull you back into the bed and into his strong arms. You snuggled under the blankets with your head on his shoulder as he continued his leisurely wake up, knowing there was nowhere he needed to be today.

“Good morning sleepyhead.” You greeted as he stretched an arm over his head, the blond hairs along it glowing in the mid morning light.

“G’morning.” He yawned before curling himself back around you and kissing you sweetly. “Can we just stay here all day?”

You sighed as he brushed his nose along your jawline, teasing the beard that was starting to fill out. “It’s Saturday, remember? We have dinner at my parent’s.”

Steve’s lips curled up and his smile widened. “Of course I remember. I finally get to meet the people who made my perfect boyfriend, I really do need to thank them.”

A slither of doubt crept in at the thought of seeing your parents for the first time since you started your transition but it was something that you needed to do. Steve could see the light in your eyes fading as you began to worry and he pulled you closer, hooking his leg over your hip.

“No matter what happens, I’m going to be by your side the entire time.” He promised. “And, if you feel uncomfortable at all we can leave.”

You nodded, not trusting your voice as you thought about how lucky you were to have such a supportive boyfriend. Even when Steve had to go away for work he would answer the second you called, he put you first and it meant the world to you. Needing to show him just how grateful you were, you claimed his lips with a hungry kiss and ran your hand down the hard planes of his chest. 

Unfortunately your alarm went off on your phone and you groaned as you reached over and found the notification that it was time for your weekly testosterone injection. With a rueful smile, you rolled away and went into the bathroom before hearing Steve’s footsteps follow. You had been taking the doses for almost a year and it had left you with the perfect routine, Steve resting on the edge of the bath as he used an alcohol wipe to clean the site on the outside of your thigh, while you prepared the syringe for him. 

You gripped the vanity and tried to relax the muscles in your legs but you were never fond of needles and that hadn’t changed just because you had weekly injections and monthly blood tests. It actually made you hate them more. 

“Relax, babe. Take a deep breath in…and out.” Steve soothed as he looked up to check you were listening before pushing the needle into the meat of your thigh. “Atta boy, all done.”

He stuck a small BandAid over the reddening spot before standing up and sweeping you off your feet. “I’m perfectly capable of walking.”

“I know.” He smiled, continuing on his way back to bed with you in his arms. “I just don’t want you going through unnecessary pain walking on it. And, I like being able to hold you like this.”

You smiled back and nestled your head onto his shoulder, the hard muscles not making for a great pillow but if you have a choice you would still choose it over the softest pillow ever created. He barely even jostled you as he laid you on the bed and climbed back in beside you, another perk of his super soldier strength. You cosied up to his side knowing you had a few hours to kill before needing to get ready for your parents and the dull ache in your leg would hopefully have subsided before you left. 

The moment your parents opened the door you could feel something wasn’t right. The usual excitement at your arrival was sedate and their arms barely touched you as they gave you feeble side hugs. You were shuffled out of the doorway and into the house before you could even introduce Steve and you hoped it was because of the cool weather and the warmth inside escaping - not because they didn’t want the neighbours to see that you were no longer ‘the girl next door’.

“Mom, dad, this is-”

“Captain America, yeah, we kind of figured that.” Your father said as he tucked his hands into his pockets.

“It’s just Steve, sir.” Steve said as he held his hand out before dropping it when your dad made no attempt to shake it and turned to your mom instead. “This is a lovely home you have.”

Her smile was short and she looked at the picture hanging on the wall of you in a bright pink frilly dress she had dressed you in as a child, her finger reached out and traced the image. “It certainly was. We wanted everything perfect for our little girl’s return but...”

A small sob escaped and she dabbed her eyes as she looked between you and the picture.

“It’s alright darling.” Your dad said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, almost glaring at you for being the reason she was upset. “We will get our sweet girl back, honey.”

You could feel your own tears welling and your shoulders slumped as all the confidence you had grown over the past year was erased within seconds. Steve’s hand slipped from yours as his 6’2” frame shielded you from your parents, your trembling hands clutching the material at the back of his shirt.

“You should be ashamed of yourselves.” His Captain’s tone boomed in the small hallway, startling your parents from the sound of your mom’s gasp. “I can’t even tell if you are ignorant or just cruel.”

“Excuse me?” Your father growled as he stepped chest to chest with Steve despite being much shorter. “Who do you think you are coming into my home and talking to my family like this?”

Steve reached behind him so he could pull you around his body and hold you to his side as he stared down your dad. “I’m the man who loves your son, and I won’t let anyone, family or not, disrespect him like you are.”

Your mother scoffed as she took a step to your fathers side. “We don’t have a son.”

“You’ve always had a son.” Steve shook his head sadly.

“I just looked a little different.” You murmured as you looked at the photo.

“A little.” Your mother rolled her eyes. “I took you bra shopping, we would get our hair done. Now you’ve grown a beard and cut your hair. I don’t even recognise you anymore.”

“It doesn’t change who he is as a person.” Steve said, his hand brushing his hair back as his blood pressure rose.

“Stop saying that!” Your mother all but shouted. “Her birth certificate clearly states female. I gave birth to a girl and just because she is going through a phase, that doesn’t change.”

You whipped your head back and forth, tears spilling over your cheeks as you realised your dream reunion would be merely that, a fantasy. Your parents had shown their true colours and couldn’t let go of the past so now they would be gone from your future. Wiping your eyes, you reached into your back pocket and unfolded the paper you had been saving to raise a toast to over dinner but there was no way you could break bread with them again.

“Actually, it says male.” You sniffled as you held up the revised birth certificate you had applied for. “I made a copy for you, I thought we could celebrate together.”

You folded it back up and tucked it into the picture frame, your parents leaning away from you as you reached pass, like they could catch an illness from you. The pain was sharp in your chest as you stepped back and started to head to the door, unable to look at their disdain any longer.

“You thought wrong. Take this.” Your dad tore the certificate from the picture and flicked it at your feet. “Our daughter is dead and we don’t want a stranger under our roof.”

Steve moved quicker than you could blink and suddenly your father’s feet were off the ground. The slam of him hitting the wall rocked the portraits that hung along it, some even falling to the floor and shattering glass across the tile.

“You don’t deserve to call yourselves parents, you’re just pathetic.” Steve seethed as he slammed your father back again while your mother screamed and tried to push him away. It wasn’t until he looked at you, seeing your heart crumbling in your eyes, that he dropped your dad and picked you up. “We never have to come back here again, I’ll be your family and you’ll be mine.”

You nodded as you dropped your head to his shoulder, releasing the rest of the tears you had managed to hold back. Steve hated to hear you cry and it took everything in him not to turn back and throw your parents through the whole damn wall for what they said. It had taken a long time to get to where you felt comfortable enough in your own skin, and then you had built up all your courage to visit them. You did not deserve to be treated how you were. You knew all this, and Steve reminded you as he buckled you in and raced around the car to the drivers side, but a small part of you wondered if you could have survived living a lie just to keep your parents happy, would it have been worth it.

“Y/n!” Steve called out and you jumped as you looked around and found you were parked in your garage, the entire drive lost in the depths of your mind that was full of what ifs. “I called you three times.”

“Sorry,” you murmured, “lost in thought.”

“Talk to me.” He reached over the console and took your hand, missing your usual reassuring squeeze you always gave him. “Hey, look at me, forget about them, they are not worth wasting time on.”

“I know, it’s just…” You couldn’t even articulate how you felt, they were your parents, they were supposed to be supportive.

“Every single thing they said was stupid and wrong.” Steve said as he ran his hand along your shadow of a beard and turned your head to face him. “You have come too far to let a couple of assholes make you doubt yourself. You spent your life fighting a war in your own body but now you love who you are and that is all that matters, fuck everyone else.”

Your eyebrows were halfway up your forehead as you heard Steve curse twice in quick succession, he only swore when he was extremely passionate and to hear him swear for you almost meant more than what he was saying. He was right, until an hour ago you had been the happiest you had ever been and you wanted to go back to that place. Nodding in his hands, you placed yours over his and gave them a squeeze.

“You’re right.” You whispered. “Thank you.”

Steve could see your heart wasn’t fully in it but it was no longer breaking in your chest and he made a promise to himself that he would do everything he could to make you happy once more. “C’mon, let’s open that bottle of champagne you’ve been saving. We still need to celebrate.”

You got out of the car and met Steve halfway around, his hand already waiting for yours before he towed you into the house until he stopped in the living room. You looked around the room that was adorned with his artwork and froze at a new addition hanging over the fireplace.

“Do you like it?” He asked, quiet apprehension in his voice as he stepped up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. “I wanted to do something special to mark the day.”

Your throat constricted as you stared open mouthed at the detailed picture Steve had drawn. Somehow with a charcoal pencil and sketching paper he had managed to capture your likeness and the pure joy in your eyes as you held your new birth certificate up. He had immortalised your happiness in a single image and the slither of doubt your parents had cruelly set under your skin disappeared. That image was your truth, it was your validation that settled the pit in your stomach and you turned to face Steve.

“Thank you.”

Steve’s smile grew as he felt your entire heart and soul in those two words. “I love you and I hope you know I would do anything for you.”

“This is more than enough.” You kissed him as your fingers slipped under his shirt and up his chest. “I love you too.”

[darrowsrising]

thoughts on rhonna x alex??

I forgot about this ask, I am sorry!

I think that their love was something that was cut off way too early. They found it in a traumatic environment, so it was either going to last forever or just drift apart as time got quieter. At least, that's how I see it. But we will never know.

All I can see right now is how much guilt and rage and helplessness and despair Rhonna has. What's worse is that it doesn't even hold a candle to the self-loathing. I am sure she knows that Alex sacrificed himself willingly. It will be a bit of a reversed Darrow and Eo, but I actually think they were good for each other, unlike the former.

I mourn Alex even now, because he is everything I wished to see in a young Gold raised in the Republic. It's a bit ironic that the Gold who was raised outside of it killed him, Alex was everything Lysander was 'denied' to be - Arcos heir, child of the Republic, Reaper's favourite.

By the way, Darrow lost a son, crossing my fingers that he is taking this as a Blood Feud.

Rhonna and Alex had a rivalry to love story, one of the most beautiful dynamics and certainly a ray of sweet hope and warmth in a cold, cold graveyard of a life. The fact that it was killed before it bloomed was...soul-tearing. It was the last straw over all, although it followed up with plenty of horrible events. Past that point, it was simply hell. For absolutely everyone.

Rhonna - always eager to make a name for herself, to distinguish herself on her own, not becayse of her family, going head first on her own way. Stubborn, naive at times, a tough cookie with a soft interior that she tries to hide. She is old enough to remember the mines, to remember thag one night, she heard her grandma talking to her dead uncle Darrow in the kitchen, the poverty, the ever presebt dust, the first time the saw the sky. Alex - privileged beyond measure, beloved son and grandson, skilled and smart and handsome, proud, green at the ears, itching for glory, always taking pride in his family, his name and his heritage, old enough to remember how his grandfather was, an Iron Gold, yet managing to be better than he ever was in his own way.

How beautiful it is that they've grown into their own, matured and found each other? They are their own individuals, so their relationship wasn't their personality.

I think they were the last symbol of hope, of the dream that life is for more, on Mercury. When Alex died, there was no more hope, only despair, for everyone.

That is why I think that there is more meaning and importance than just 'but Lysander did what everyone, especially Darrow, would do in his place'. He broke the camel's back, there is no way of returning. Rhonna did not just lost her love, she was used as a means to kill him, not to mention infantillized. Darrow did not lost just anyone, he lost his son, a child he helped raise, train, who became a man he was so proud of.

It is a personal loss that they are entitled to feel that it was too much, after everything that already happened and if they take it personally it will be justified.

I honestly think it will create a point of conflict between Darrow and Cassius - maybe, hopefully the Julian shit will be put to rest by Darrow once and for all and I will never ever have to endure the guilt-tripping - the Passage parallels are obvious, but they are not one and the same thing.

As for Rhonna, I think that she will have a conflict with her own self, grow out of it, but also carry lots of trauma. I think she might be the key to getting the Storm Knight to change sides, but it's more of a 'hope this happens' than anything. She will certainly be the key to slagging Mercury a good one and save the Reaper on time from one thing or another.

Hope you enjoyed this somewhat beyond subject answer!

Howl on!

[katara0524]

Impromptu Ramblings about the NEO:TWEWY Demo

In case y'all weren't aware, I've been a pretty big fan of TWEWY for a couple years now, and with the sequel coming out next month, the excitement I feel for this game is greater than ever :) I played the Demo for the first time yesterday, and following a couple views of some livestreams of others playing it, I felt like sharing my (very ramble-y) thoughts prior to the release of the full game. This post WILL contain spoilers for both TWEWY and NEO:TWEWY, so if you want to avoid those from now on, please block the tags: #twewy spoilers, #ntwewy spoilers, #neo twewy spoilers, #ntwewy, and #neo twewy ^_^ Oh, and if you wanna keep up with any other posts I make about my experience with this game, please refer to the tag "kat plays neo twewy" :)

-First things first: I have not watched the Final Trailer and I don't plan on doing so to avoid spoilers, especially after the pre-release era of KH3 where a lot of the later trailers spoiled a lot of the endgame content. That being said, I've seen some minor screenshots from the final trailer including what many believe to be characters from the original TWEWY, namely Shiki and Joshua. That is all I know about the Final Trailer and I would very much like to remain as blind as possible going into NEO :)

-The very first cutscene was quite ominous in the sense that this game is likely going to be about "changing fate" (a recently common theme in Squeenix games, which I do appreciate), perhaps leading off from the end of A New Day in the OG and trying to stop an Inversion of Shibuya. Also worth noting that A New Day had similar aspects in which the main character experienced "future visions" of tragic events, although in A New Day these events were not able to be changed, while in NEO it seems like one of the main "powers" our protagonist has is specifically to rewrite these events and avoid a "bad ending." Very interesting indeed!

-I really like the revamped comic book style dialogue scenes, it's much more fluid and modern, which is an excellent direction for the series to take!

-I would love to have an actual PokemonGO knockoff of Final Fantasy creatures, please Squeenix that would be incredibleeeeee

-Also the LINE stickers??? Are so cute???

-I would just like to point out that Fret is an absolute treasure throughout this entire demo, he's hilarious and I will protect him with my life

-UHHHH don't like that Fret picked up some Reaper Pins just out of nowhere.....or the fact that they're apparently popular all over Shibuya.............did y'all not learn anything from the OG game or what lmao

-Okay so when I first got the "curry or ramen" scene and heard NPCs talking about the new curry place replacing the old ramen place I became IMMENSELY distressed that Ramen Don was totally cut from the game because....well, Ramen Don is a King okay?? But I'm glad to learn that no, he didn't fall off the face of the earth, he's still in business and he's the one opening the curry restaurant lolol. PHEW, crisis averted!

-.....I don't like the sudden appearance of a Wall Reaper and being able to read NPC thoughts. Wtf happened when they left the ramen place??? Are they playing the Game alive somehow?

-Okay so I have my own theories about this "Swallow" character and what they're up to but considering this is only the Demo and I still Have No Idea What's Happening, I'm just gonna say that I think Swallow intentionally led Rindo and Fret to the Crossing so they could join the Game. I mean, add in the fact that Swallow still communicates with Rindo during the Game and you've got yourself a suspicious character right there lol

-"Hey they're shooting off fireworks!" Fret honey that's not fireworks oof (see also: "*laughs* I'm in danger")

-WOOOOOO way to traumatize Rindo right off the bat like that LMAOO

-The visuals for the intro are VERY GOOD, the song is pretty decent until it gets all "screamo" (which I absolutely cannot stand sorry lol)

-Shoka is every Customer Service employee ever and I respect that

-Susukichi went from being "meh" to "WOW THIS GUY IS FUN" in the span of 10 seconds and I also respect that (he is also built like an Absolute Unit which is hilarious)

-The Wall Reapers (and just Reapers in general) seem.....way nicer and more helpful this time around?? Like in the OG the Wall Reapers were SO RUDE gfhjgjdfkhn and yeah I'm sure we'll get some like that but the juxtaposition of the first Wall Reaper in the OG compared to the first one in NEO is insane.

-The puzzles are quite a bit more entertaining this time around even if it's generally the same "fetch quest" formula lol

-"Rindo's Group" way to go Fret HFKJDGHSDFKJ mans really left the default name in there lmao

-OKAYOKAYOKAY so to those who aren't aware I am a MASSIVE SIMP for Sho Minamimoto, he's my absolute favorite and I think about him daily. HIS INTRODUCTION IS. INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT SM.

-GOD hearing him actually SPEAK FULL SENTENCES is just SO SURREAL I love this sm

-Also the remix of his theme???? NEO TRANSFORMATION????? IT'S SO GOOD????????? It's like gone from a Boss Theme to a more triumphant sounding theme and I am HERE for it (every version of Transformation is just INCREDIBLE and getting a new one is even better)

-I Love Him, Your Honor

-Also idk how exactly but it's kinda weird seeing Sho in the OG vs NEO, cuz while he's mostly the same Insane Math-Obsessed Catboy, he's.....calmed down quite a bit?? Like OG made a whole point of how poorly he cooperates with others (not to mention just being completely unhinged and trying to kill everyone), whereas here in NEO he's......actually kinda working with others??? HELLO???? Sir what happened to you and Neku during those 3 years I would love to know all about it

-I guarantee you Sho is still probably scheming shite and will likely pull some total insane BS later down the road, and I am very much looking forward to that. Also, is he looking for a certain Pin or something??? Cuz he keeps talking about different Pins and even mentions "this is just another Psych Pin" like he's actively looking for a Pin to do something with. Maybe it also has to do with the "latent powers of Players" thing he mentioned as well??? What is this dude UP TO oml (also is he in contact with Neku at all?? they're both technically fugitives at this point right?? WHAT HAPPENED AFTER A NEW DAY I AM BEGGING YOU)

-I seems like Sho ALSO has an idea of what's going on in this specific game (even if he won't admit it straightforward). Per his quote "The game's 142,857. Factor it out," he's essentially saying, "This game is a neverending cyle, figure out how to get out of it" (or at least that's what I got from his "cyclic number" nonsense lolol)

-I do like how Sho mostly stays out of sight until he's needed for a battle or assisting with a mission, that's kind of on par with his whole "uncooperative" quirk from the OG, plus he might literally have to stay out of sight of other Reapers and Players considering he's likely breaking the rules of the Game (not surprising considering him and Neku broke practically every rule in the book during OG)

-The nicknames for Sho- I can't- They're so FUNNYYYY GFHJSDFKJ

-He goes from being called "Pi-Face" and "Tabooty" in OG to "Mr. Minami" and "M-Teezy" in NEO LMAOO

-(Wowee I just realized I've been mostly talking about Sho oopsies sorry y'all, this is what I meant by thinking about him almost daily he is THAT much of a fav of mine ghfkjsd)

-Okay RIP Fret and Rindo for not getting literally ANY explanation as to how the Game works OOF, that is kinda cringe that whoever gets the Pin earns points, not whoever erases the Noise (which like I understand but also URRRGGHHH I WANNA SEE THE SQUAD SUCCEED)

-"I should be going home now it's getting late" Oh you sweet summer child-

-Also love the mention of parents in this game???? KH you could learn a thing or two from TWEWY (poor Rindo's mom fhgjkdh)

-KUBO IS HILARIOUS I SUPPORT HIM AND HIS GROSS FACE (also thank you Final Trailer thumbnail for spoiling my suspicions about him very cool smh)

-Kaie is a LAD I also support him, go King type those funky texts I believe in you

-FRET PLS STOP SCANNING FHGJKSDHKJFGHFKJ he's like me when I scan in OG during Weeks 2 and 3 and see Taboo Noise coming after me ghfjdshfj

-Also Rindo can you stay off your phone for TWO SECONDS ik you're trying to figure things out but Fret is a jelly boi and I don't want him to be upset with you my guy

-Sho being an actual sorta mentor to the kiddos?? Who are you sir this is so unlike you ghfgskj what happened to the guy who tried shooting children in the face 8 times over LMAO (granted he's probably just using them but it's still nice to see him actually cooperating and sharing knowledge with the kiddos aaaaa)

-EYO EIJI OJI THE TIKTOK INFLUENCER IS BACK LMAO

-hgjkfshgkjf "we aren't glorifying capitalism on my watch" THATS SO FUNNY TO ME GFHJFSDGHJKS (also an all-orange ensemble is disgusting you deserve jail for one thousand years fkn Cheddar Goldfish Cheezit ass woman)

-WICKED TWISTERS NAME DROP EYOOO we love to see it

-gfhsgjf Poor Rindo embarassing himself for the sake of the Game that's incredible

-R e t u r n t o M O N K E. That is all.

-Dialogue during boss battles is HELLA cool i love that

-HHHHH THE KANON SCENE MADE ME A N G E R Y FRET STOP SIMPING MY GUY says the girl with a Literal Simp Encyclopedia and simps for pixels on a screen daily

-Can't wait to see the other Reapers :eyes emoji:

-CAN'T WAIT TO SEE NAGI MY BELOVED YEAHHHH WOOOOOO AAAAND that's about it for the demo lolol, I absolutely CANNOT wait for next month, this game is gonna be INCREDIBLE holy hell Prepare for more simping, more screaming, and more vibing from Yours Truly :) I fully intend on sharing more general thoughts like this on both Tumblr and Twitter so it's not just reblog-retweet-reblog-retweet with the occasional comment fhgskjd

If you wanna witness my insanity up close and personal I have a Square Enix Discord server called Sea Side Dreamers! You can look it up on Disboard, or you can add me on Discord @Katara0524#9244 for a direct link :) We have topics about Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, NieR, and ofc TWEWY (as well as other topics!), so if you want some good ol' chaos and chitchat, you're more than welcome to join!

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 6--On the Inside

Very appropriate title by the way.  Works in a multitude of ways.  

As always, my randomness is going beneath a cut again to spare the eyeballs of those of you that don’t want to see it at all and also?  Help those of you that have somehow stayed spoiler-free in this brand-new age of early release episodes.  It is still so wild to me that I’m a full episode ahead of half the fandom.  I don’t know what I’m going to do when we get to the final episode and they decide to make us all suffer together--because somehow I do feel they will do exactly that after spoiling us for the first 23 episodes.  It is going to be agonizing.  

Anyway.  Without further ado, Shae’s stream of consciousness review (of sorts).  

Not fair, Angela.  Opening the episode with that shot of that big ass spider.  I hate those suckers.  So naturally, they’re an easy sell for setting the horror scene to me, lol.  

Okay.  Who the hell’s chasing Virgil and Connie?  Walker No-See-Ums?

Barely a minute in and the atmosphere for this episode is moody AF.  

What is this?  Tara Jr. The Walking Dead?  LOL.  Where’s the Scarlett for this mini plantation house?  Anyway.  First three minutes of this episode?  Just as attention grabbing as the first five episode openings this season.  I don’t think people out there are giving our writers enough love for that.  Every episode so far has opened like a mini movie.  

With the way the Walking Dead logo keeps crumbling away with each successive episode, somehow it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the Carol and Daryl spinoff was eventually titled The Living and had flowers growing out of each letter, lol.  I mean, there would be a certain sort of life-affirming symmetry in a show that’s been promised to be much lighter in tone doing just that.  

More Carol and Aaron?  Yes, please.  I don’t necessarily like Carol staying at home and sitting the sidelines like a figurative happy little homemaker in the B story while the rest of the mains are trying like hell to sell the A story, but if she’s going to be totally prohibited from the main storyline until it’s time to blow shit up?  I’m going to continue enjoy getting to see her do what she should have been doing for seasons--interacting with others in the community, especially Aaron and the ladies.  

Truly.  I really am loving my girl getting some quality Aaron and Rosita time.  It’s so long overdue.  

Bless sweet Kelly.  Riding off to her sister’s rescue.  

Why isn’t Lydia shown as part of these plans?  For someone that could barely read last season, I doubt that big ass map was a piece of cake for her and it’s all just guesswork anyway without her guidance.  I mean, why does it feel like they are cutting some of this stuff that might not seem like much plot-wise but would go a long way toward establishing different character beats?  Personally, I would have loved to see her involved in the search and sharing scenes again with Carol and bonding with Kelly. 

Virgil be having that “I always feel like somebody’s watching me” feeling.  Don’t you hate that, lol?  

“You haven’t slept in days.”  But how many days, Virgil?  I’m going to need a number because I’m confused AF about this timeline at this point.  What we’re seeing and what different pieces of dialogue is telling us is not exactly lining up.  I’m going to find it awful hilarious if it hasn’t even been two weeks since the cave in.  For reasons.  

Connie’s spidey senses are clearly tingling.  

Alrighty, then.  She’s clearly got PTSD.  Understandable.  They’ve all had it.  Some have been treated more sympathetically than others, though.  

I mean, it never seems to cross anybody’s mind how Carol probably sees Henry’s head on that pike, Mika’s pale and bloody body, Lizzie crumpled face down in a bed of yellow flowers, Sophia with a smoking bullet hole through her undead head whenever she closes her eyes but whatever.  

Okay though.  But what if Connie had really shitty, impossible to read handwriting?  AKA doctor’s  handwriting.  What then?  

Leah’s face honestly twists my insides whenever I see it, lol.  It’s quiet a visceral thing.  No, that does not make me a horrible person.  Not everybody wants or has to drink the awesome, great, redeemable villainess Kool-Aid.  IMHO, she’s got a face meant for a Walker.  Perfect makeover idea.  Eh.  Mostly it’s her expression and the deadness of her eyes.  

Anyway.  Why is it always the fingers?  Eff that.  

Listen.  If ya’ll can’t tell Daryl’s conflicted AF with the situation he’s landed in, you don’t know how to read NR’s face and eyes.  He’s not a masterclass like MMB but he’s pretty darn good when he wants to be.  

I honestly feel sorry for Redshirt Frost.  

“You do what you gotta do.”  Frost knows what’s what and he’s willing to walk the walk for Maggie.  Impressive loyalty.  I’m left wondering how the current, colder incarnation of Maggie inspired it because I’m still struggling to see it.  Anywho.  My point is the dude knows the score and just gave Daryl the okay.  

Daryl taking off his angel vest before stepping into the role of torturer/interrogator=him shedding the persona/the man Judith and RJ and Lydia and Carol know him to be.  Pushing away his man of honor status so he can just survive somehow.  

Pope never quits chewing whatever the hell he’s got in his mouth.  It’s kind of distracting.  

Ohhh.  We’re back to the Haunted Mansion.  I mean house.  Where are the Hitchhiking Ghosts?  

All the eyes scratched out of those creepy pictures=spooky.  

The good old fogged up bathroom mirror shot.  Somebody’s been watching and studying their horror movies, lol.  Not gonna lie though.  I’m legit bracing myself for the jump scares I know have to be coming.  

I’m loving the music/score in these scenes.  

Truthfully, I could care less about these Reapers.  But they are hella attractive, lol.  Listen.  Angela knows what she’s doing.  

Kelly’s horse is so pretty.  Prayer chain for that baby.  

More dead horses?  Why?  

Connie’s slingshot?  Sorry.  I maintain, no matter how much I like these two, that they have the lamest weapons ever.  Endless supply of Virginia rocks or not.  

So.  Did Virgil and Connie enjoy a little equine for dinner?  Did they kill it before the Walkers fed?  What monsters!  Yeah, no.  Not if they were starving even if I personally could not have.  The more probable story is they fled the camp in a panic and left the horse behind and then it went down.  Sorry.  I didn’t exactly study the wounds on the poor animal because it is so traumatizing to me to continue to see them meet such dastardly ends on this show.  I don’t know who the hell has such a score to settle with horses but stop it.  

Days.  It’s only been days.  Not weeks.  So many times with all that Daryl and Company have had to contend with since the cave in?  Those do not exist, lol.  They’re just a convenient, appeasing piece of dialogue thrown at a fanbase primed and ready to read everything into not much of anything.  There’s just not been enough time for it to happen unless Daryl has literally been up 24/7 for all of them.  You know, strategizing how to attack the remainders of Alpha’s horde, figuring out how to defend Hilltop before it fell, healing from the wound he sustained at Alpha’s hand, sitting on that log all damn night with Negan waiting on Carol to come home, having a lover’s quarrel with his best damn everything, taking care of the Grimes babies and Lydia, being the reluctant leader.  Kang, why you playing them like that?  Daryl’s a super guy but he’s not a superhuman with clones.  So many times my ass.  

Seriously.  Who been watching Connie and Virgil?  The MIA Oceansiders?  Beta’s Fee Fi Fo Fum Ghost?  

Nice.  A Michonne mention.  Maybe the truth will start to trickle out.  

LMAO at Connie’s “I’m not staying here.”  Me neither, girl.  I would be outta that house so fast.  

They really “Quiet Placing” this episode.  Honestly?  I’m kinda loving it.  

WTF was that?  I know she can’t hear but you telling me all the little hairs on her arms, legs, and neck didn’t stand the fuck up and say fuck this shit, I’m gone?  Pardon my language, lovelies, but that moment had my heart kicking up several beats.  

Okay, okay.  To be fair to Connie, every hair on her body been doing that since the front door closed.  Maybe they’re desensitized.  

Gollum’s chasing Connie!!!  He/She wants their Precious!!!

The knee jerk reactions about this episode sight unseen are OTT, honestly.  And I mean no disrespect by saying that.  I can understand completely where they’re coming from because we’ve been burned so long in this fandom.  But it’s obvious the spoiler source has their particular biases and reads into things in such a way that don’t line up with what’s actually being shown onscreen.  Daryl’s loyalty in this episode and all along quite clearly lies with his family and his community.  He’s been playing Leah since the start and is truly just trying to survive somehow.  

Awful thought.  The Reaper that’s so suspish of Daryl--haven’t quite caught his name or really cared to.  I feel like he might try to get to Daryl somehow.  When he realizes that Daryl cares no more for Leah than any human would care for somebody (they thought) they used to know?  He’s going after Dog.  Or Carol should she finally join this story. 

I refuse to believe Carol isn’t going to be a part of this story.  Because they messing with her mans, lol.  

“You’re ever with us or you’re not.”  Now where have I heard those words before?  I wish I could find that Daryl gif because that had to be one of the funniest things ever, lol.  

Unrealistic suggestion to Daryl, Leah?  Breathing oxygen seems to piss off Carver.  Oh look.  He finally has a name for me, lol.  

I love how all three of the ladies--Carol, Magna, and Rosita--look at Kelly with such indulgent, adoring “little sis, you alright?” eyes.  

They are seriously the most beautiful quartet of characters.  I mean all of them are lovely but Carol and Rosita this season?  Ugh.  The unfairness of the pretty.  

Human bones.  Terminus callback, lovelies.  How it all would have eventually gone down if Gareth and Co. hadn’t met the business end of Rick’s red machete.  

So many horror movie homages in this one.  

Virgil’s like “let’s leave this Texas Chainsaw Massacre behind.”  

Connie and Virgil have obviously bonded, ya’ll.  I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying their scenes together when the character mostly got on my nerves with Michonne.  He’s a good actor and the core of his character is sympathetic, but I’m not going to lie.  I wasn’t super enthused when he was the one that rescued Connie because I didn’t know how their scenes would play out. But there’s a nice synergy there.  

Okay.  Does Carver want Leah for himself?  Because I’m sure Daryl at this point would love to scream “take her, I know where I fucking belong!”  

Daryl’s digging in deep because Carver has shown him Leah’s potential weak spot.  Nuance is truly lost on some people, LMAO.  He cares about Leah as a human being probably.  He’s Daryl, after all.  The sweet one.  But he sees her as his way outta this and he’s going to exploit it.  

It’s nice to have a silent Negan for once, lol.  I can pretend he didn’t take my baby Glenn away from me and enjoy JDM’s pretty.  

So.  These cannibal people were the watchers?  Hmm.  

I’m really digging Virgil 2.0.  Yeah.  Nobody’s surprised more than me.  

Sweet, sweet scene between Virgil and Connie.  His determination to reunite her with her family brings back the sympathy I felt for him when he told Michonne “I promised her flowers.  Every day.”  

Damn.  How many of those creepy crawly cannibals are there?  

How brave of Connie to confront her fears to save someone she’s obviously grown to care about.  

The Kelly/Connie reunion gave me chills and made me cry.  Thank fuck Angela didn’t cheapen that moment by having it focus on literally anybody else.  Kelly is the most important person in the whole world to Connie and vice versa.  Just like Carol is the most important person in the whole world to Daryl and vice versa.  Angela fucking knows.  Everybody does.  Except the people busy building castles out of sand while the waves of Carol’s and Daryl’s converging stories keep crashing closer and closer to shore.  

Such a beautiful moment given to us by Angel Theory and Lauren Ridloff.  So authentic and sweet.  Kelly and Connie are home to each other.  

Poor Frost.  That’s all I gotta say about that.  

WTF, though.  Was Mel just not available or what?  I want to see more of the ASZ characters that I care about, not the Reapers.  Like I’d be fine with the story if all the characters not named Maggie, Negan, or Daryl weren’t surviving on crumbs during it.  Especially the 2nd billed actress on the entire show.  Angela.  Please.  Fix this.  

One last WTF.  Seriously.  WTF has Maggie done to inspire Pope’s obsession?  It better be juicy after all this shit.  

Overall impression of the episode--

One of my favorites of the season so far.  The horror aspects were fantastic, IMHO. I truly didn’t expect to like Connie and Virgil’s scenes as much together so that was a nice surprise.  She got the reunion that felt most true and earned for the character and her story and I thank Angela from the bottom of my heart for that.  

I would have loved more Carol but I always want more Carol.  I’m okay with her taking a backseat because ultimately?  This was Kelly’s moment with her sister.  Carol and Connie will eventually have their time to sit down and talk.  And pick back up their blossoming friendship because I truly do not feel Connie blames Carol at all.  

I do wish Lydia had been included with the girl group.  Last episode felt like it was leading up to that.  

The Reaper storyline continues to be the weakest link because every time we see them the dialogue and interactions feel totally recycled from the time previous.  I feel like it would have totally been helped by a tighter focus and less stretching out because 8 episodes of this is really diluting what I feel like Angela and Co. are going for.  I’m not here for Leah being redeemed or being a bigger focus in any of the episodes because she does nothing of interest for me.  I’m just peeking in on that story for the Daryl of it all.  

Speaking of the Daryl? You lovelies out there gotta stop taking that spoiler source’s recaps at face value because it’s obvious to me at least that there’ some bias at work.  Every action and word coming from Daryl is coming from a place of loyalty to his family and wanting to protect them, no matter how he has to dirty his hands.  Leah is just a means to his ultimate end.  She’s not his future.  She never was.  His future’s already spoken for and 2023 can’t get  here soon enough.  But like Daryl, we have to just survive somehow.  

Oh goodie.  More Maggie and Negan next episode and looks like no real follow up on Connie and the ASZ reunions.  Hopefully, this is yet another instance of the previews being deceiving but I’m not holding my breath.  

Until later, lovelies.  

Hope my word vomit didn’t bore you too much.  

[elias-veturius-laia-of-serra]

*Includes SKY Spoilers* 

- Ranked the #1 solider in his class

- Can whittle

 - Can do woodwork (Rebuilt his cabin by himself)

 - Can cook

 - Can dance

 - Can hunt 

- Can windwalk

- Great swimmer

- Can speak Sadhese

 - Can kill 11 men in minutes with his hands tied behind his back 

- Took a whole tower of martials out by himself

 - Led a whole army of Scholars, Martials, Tribes People, and Mariners by himself

- Was taken away from the only real family who loved him at age four.

- Had to watch his tribal family get taken in by the empire by his friends

 - Was the first person to tell Laia that she’s brave and strong repeatedly after she lost her family and was all alone

 - Decided to spend the remaining time of his life left in torch saving Darin cause he promised Laia he would save him

 - Gave up everything just so Laia and her brother could live 

• “Who gave up his freedom and future so Darin and I could live. Who chained himself to an eternity alone because of a vow he made.”

- Led the tribespeople to clear out the scholars from a city so they wouldn’t get killed

 - Told Laia he wouldn’t be able to help her cause he had to focus on getting the ghosts back and then came for her the moment she called to him

 - Has always seen Laia’s strength before she did and continued to call her strong and believed in her despite all her faults and mistakes

- Grew up without a father and a mother who hated him, purposely traumatized him, and tried to get him killed repeatedly

- A smooth negotiator “He could sweet talk a stone into giving him water

 - Is 6′4

 - Loves and gets along with kids 

- Sarcastic King 

-Great sense of humor

 - Always has the most romantic lines 

- Nearly died three times for the love of his life

•  In book 1 risked execution for refusing to kill Laia in the last trial

•  Died on the staircase in book 2 in Kauf prison while trying to save Darin for Laia

•  Nearly died in the maelstrom trying to save Laia from it

 - Encouraged and helped Laia raid caravans and free scholars because she wanted to make a difference in the world

 - Faced off the nightbringer and jinn by himself five times:

•  Behind me, Elias stills and takes a steadying breath. He meets the Nightbringer’s fiery stare, his face paling in shock at what he sees there. Then he growls, a sound that seems to rise out of the very earth. Shadows twist up like vines of ink beneath his skin. Every muscle in his shoulders, his chest, his arms strains until he is tearing free of his invisible bonds. He raises his hands, a shock wave bursting from his skin, knocking me on my back. 

The Nightbringer sways before righting himself. “Ah,” he observes. “The pup has a bite. All the better.”

•  At first, it looks as it always does. Then I see her, crumpled on the earth. I recognize the patchy gray cloak. I gave it to her long ago, on a night when I never could have imagined how much she’d one day mean to me. In the trees to the north, a shadow watches. Nightbringer! I leap for him, but he disappears, gone so fast that if not for his laugh on the wind, I’d have thought I’d imagined him.

 I am at Laia’s side in two steps, hardly believing she is real. The earth shudders more violently than it ever has before. Mauth is angry. But it does not matter to me. What in ten bleeding hells have the jinn done to her?

•    “He blurs into motion, not attacking the Nightbringer, but moving for the jinn with the long spear—Khuri called her Umber. He disarms her with two quick thrusts of his hands, and then knocks her back into Azul. Khuri jumps in front of Elias, glaring at him, no doubt trying to manipulate his mind. But he shakes off her magic, whipping the spear toward her too fast to follow. She crumples to the ground, stunned by the blow. “

  • “But now she’s gone, and the Nightbringer turns toward me. I drag Maro back a few steps. The soul-stealing jinn wears his shadow form, and he is narrow-shouldered and slender, almost emaciated. When he opens his mouth, I dig in my blade, and he gasps, huffing in pain. 

“You’ve been stealing ghosts, Maro.” I fix my gaze on the Nightbringer. “Tell me how to get them back.” 

“You cannot get them back,” the Nightbringer says. “They are gone.” 

“What have you done with them?” 

“They feed the maelstrom.” Maro’s fear makes him talk. “It must be fed if we are to breach the wall between worlds.” 

“Silence, Maro!” the Nightbringer hisses, but all his wrath is for me. “Release him, human.” His magic lashes out like a whip, and it burns the skin of my arms so badly that I nearly release Maro. But Blackcliff has trained me well.”

(...)

“So clever to empty out the city. To use the efrits. But it changes nothing. Your kind is a plague on this world. There are always more humans, and so there will always be more to reap. If not here, then another city.”

“Not if you don’t have your soul thief.” I dig my blade into Maro again, and this time, fire leaks out. 

“Stop.” The Nightbringer’s fists clench. “Or I will find her, I swear to the skies. And I will tear her soul from her tortured body myself.”

 “Spending time with my mother, I see.” The Nightbringer is usually completely in control. But now his anger is reassuring. He is vulnerable. And I can take advantage of it.

 I need to understand him. If he were a human, I would reach out with the tendrils of my magic, a touch too light to be felt. But the Nightbringer will sense any scrutiny—and he will not welcome it. If I want into his head, I will have to force my way in. So I scrape up every last drop of Mauth’s magic and launch my consciousness at him.”

•  “They are your weakness, Soul Catcher.” She drips with malice, shakes with it. “You will fall and the Waiting Place will fall with you.” 

“Not today, Umber,” the Soul Catcher says. “They are under my protection. And you have no power here.” The softer the Commandant spoke, the more dangerous she was. The Soul Catcher’s voice is very low indeed, and power pulses through him. The air in the clearing thickens. The fire in the jinns’ eyes pales, as if suddenly quenched. The jinn retreat, fading into the trees, and when they are gone, my legs go weak, my wound aching.”

•  “Midway through the day, I feel a distant rumble. Thousands of boots marching. Horses. Wagons. War machines. I make for that thunderous drone until suddenly, I’m among the army. I windwalk amid the neat rows of infantrymen, their heads bent against the sharp desert wind. A scream cracks the air. “Breach!” an unearthly voice shouts. “Breach! Find the intruder!”

 It’s Umber who cries the warning, and she streaks through the skies toward me, kneading the wind to lend her speed. Though I bolt away before the soldiers notice my presence, fiery hands swipe at my back. She’s caught my scent.

(...) 

 I force the pain into one corner of my mind and windwalk, spinning sharply around Umber, striking at her with my scims. They dig deep into her hip, and she screams—perhaps from the wound, perhaps from the salt coating I applied to the blade. She tumbles to the earth in an explosion of dust and fire, and I am away.” 

 - Publicly defied the empire by himself 

- Survived torture from Kauf Prison 

- Helped free the people from Kauf prison

- Saved Helene from getting trampled despite her trying to hunt him down in Torch

- Tried to understand and sympathize with the jinn so no one would get hurt anymore

•  He was the first to face Helene against violence and be a voice of truce with the Jinn.

- Ran in front of the maelstrom just to save Laia

- Survived the maelstrom 

- Gave Tas a name

- Is unable to completely forget about everyone he cares for constantly longing for them and wanting to protect them

-Mourned and cared for Sheava despite it being her plan to lure and plant seeds into Elias's head to become Soul Catcher so she can be freed

- Told Helene to stand up and that she was meant to live and comforted her when stabbed and she thought she was going to die in Reaper

- Went out of his way to get to know Avitas Harper and their father despite knowing it would anger Mauth and he would eventually forget about them again

- Changed his family motto from killing and death to dedicate it about his love for Laia

 - Gave up his soul to bring balance back into the world

 - “I wish I can live a thousand lives so I can fall in love with you a thousand times”

[daturanerium]

i just finished season one of the magnus archives (here’s my livetweet thread) so here’s my discordant thoughts on the characters

jon

annoyingly stubborn

dramatic!!!!

was definitely That One Emo Theatre Kid in whatever britain's version of high school is

wants to know. everything.

fatal flaw: pursuit of knowledge. he can’t let a mystery go unsolved

please get some sleep baby you can solve the mystery in the morning

he’s so serious and awkward i adore him and i hope he remembers to take care of himself

martin

baby boy.....baby

consistently underestimated and underappreciated. give him a raise please elias he’s gone through hell

so full of love, even for people who don’t seem to love him back

i want to hug him

so intelligent, so thoughtful! always coming up with answers that no one else can think of

fatal flaw: self/preservation or fear. altho in his line of work i’m giving him a break

he’s got some big things ahead of him, i can tell. i hope that he gets some bomb ass magical powers or something because he really deserves it

sasha

ive known sasha for a week and a half but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

speaking of........what the hell happened during the finale i’m Worried

she’s so caring and protective. i feel like she’s the “hold my flower” member of the archive (jon or tim is the “kick his ass baby i got your flower”)

fatal flaw: curiosity. at least she’s aware of it?

i literally love her

looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll (but will also kill you)

so strong. so smart. 

im love her and i hope she’s okay

elias

okay shifty capitalist motherfucker i see you

i don’t actually think he’s gulity of anything tbh, just a victim of circumstance trying to do his job and keep it

fatal flaw: submissive towards authority. spill the secrets buddy we gotta know

“but the funding”

i think his heart’s in the right place. i just hope he realizes there are bigger things than rich people and even the archive.

tim

pure of heart, dumb of ass

frat bro!!!!!

super friendly

EDIT: i made a joke about tim having cishet energy but i’ve since been informed that he’s canon bi which is awesome! 

just doing his job, man

hey jon the boys and i are gonna go crack open a cold one later, wanna join? you’ve been stuck recording in that office for hours mate you need to get out and do something

he really genuinely cares about his friends and he’s so sweet

fatal flaw: inability to read the room. bro i love u no romo but u gotta learn to Read The Signs

such a dork

definitely going to get possessed at some point

jane prentiss

it is every sapphic’s duty to fall in love with an eldrich horror and jane is mine

her monologue/statement was so good that i’m doing it for speech this year. thank you irl jonathan sims for being a fantastic writer

so spooky......so curious........so dark.........so endearing

please tell me about the song and the nest and the itch. i’m so genuinely interested in her story and i hope we hear more from/about her because i still have Questions

every time i picture her it’s in the style of the scary stories to tell in the dark illustrations

ugh god such a good antagonist.....this is so good

mary and gerard key

during the first description of mary i was so impressed with her lifestyle and general presentation.....she was really living her best life. until it was revealed that she was not actually alive. but still

gerard you little shit, planting all these things for the archivists to find. who are you

side note but i thought his name was “jared”. i’m trying to not picture another famous gerard but i’m seventeen. what can you do.

they’re definitely working for some outside force, or maybe they Are the outside force? either way i’m intrigued

(predictions for season two and beyond under the cut)

general predictions for season two and beyond:

i’ve managed to avoid spoilers a lot better than i usually do, but i think there may be something to do with avatars for gods or something? anyway jon’s god is knowledge-based and sasha’s is strength-based. elias may be conman/trickery-based? martin is his own seperate being entity thing, i can’t see him fitting into any typical categories yet. 

oh actually it would be really cool if martin was tied in with the god of death? it kind of fits him, idk how tho. he’s just so sweet and kind and that matches the casual comforting neutrality of death.

actually maybe not because we’ve already met death and it’s just a bunch of reapers that were dumbasses in life, oh well (i’m still gonna keep it in on the off chance something happens with it)

jon takes a nap (unlikely, but i can dream) 

that shipping company that keeps popping up definitely delivered that lighter to jon. don’t know what the lighter means but i’m excited to figure it out

jonmartin endgame

sasha is either possessed or has been completely erased by a copy. my guess is that she’s stuck in a time loop that was created when she touched the hypnotizing table, although how that happened is just about anyone’s guess.

gertrude was killed by gerard key, who, in his Infinite Knowledge of Plot and How The World Works, knew that jon needed to be the head archivist for things to work out the way he and his mother want it to. the keys are beyond time.

martin lives in the archive because he actually kind of likes it there??? even tho he had a traumatic event with worms and jane and finding the dead body of his old boss in the basement

i’m really interested to know what jon was up to before he worked as the head archivist. i feel like that’s kind of important and relevant? if it’s not now it will be in the future

elias has to pick a side: jon and the truth or the “funds” and the government. i hope he makes the right one, but plot and conflict is also important and i can totally see him becoming the Imposing But Apologetic Lawful Antagonist

idk what the gods thing is (if it even is something?) but i’m pretty sure one of them has to do with eyes/watching, and my guess is that it’s the one having to do with knowledge. and while i’m here i’m also going to go out on a crazy limb and say that gerard and mary work for it, whatever the watching thing is. that’s how they know where to be at the right time.

there’s another group of people that work on things like the archive does--they’re just a little more....casual. idk if you all are/were supernatural fans but i’m thinking that the magus archive is the men of letters to this other faction being hunters. they split off after elias’s rules became too stifling, and they sometimes get there before the archive knows about the situation (like in ep 36, taken ill, or episode 8, burned out. altho ep 8 was with gerard, so maybe he works with them sometimes? idk)

sasha gets better but a sacrifice has to be made to save her. martin, to everyone’s surprise, offers. 

i’m so excited to listen to season two oh my god this show is fantastic

[sleepyfan-blog]

hOW DID I NOT THINK OF THIS? PICNIC WITH REAPER X DREAM??

Fandom: Undertale AU

Characters and pairing: Reaper!Sans, Dream, Reaper x Dream

Warnings: implied past abusive relationship, choking mention, traumatic flashback

Word count: 2,772

Summary: Dream and Reaper go on a picnic date.

Reaper had been very busy for the past couple of weeks, and Dream was only a little worried that the other might not have the time to spare for their previously-agreed upon picnic date. The failed guardian had managed to mostly shake those worries off as he double checked that he had everything packed - sandwiches, pasta salad, popato chisps, cookies, strawberry-lemonade, cutlery, plates, cups… Yep, he had everything packed! Dream carefully secured the lid on top of the picnic basket, going over to his and Reaper’s bedroom, grabbing one of the spare blankets and after refolding it so that it would fit correctly, placed it so that the handles of the basket would help keep in place on top of the basket.

He was really looking forwards to the date - he’d missed his beloved and as he was both not allowed to wander around in the mortal realm without supervision… And didn’t particularly care for interacting with most of the other gods and goddesses due to how most of them treated Reaper and his brother… Papyrus was treated a bit better, mostly because the skeleton was very sweet and kind, alongside being an aspect of death. Sans, who was more cynical and had a darker sense of humor distressed the rest of the pantheon - which really irritated Dream, who didn’t want to see the same mistakes repeated by the light, as had happened in his own world. But still, neither one of them was treated with the respect and care that they deserved, particularly his beloved.

They accused Reaper of being lazy - despite the fact that he worked very hard at the job that he’d been created for, and occasionally took breaks from the bleak and awful work that he had been forced to do. They had no idea how much scarring and deeply disturbing things that his beloved saw on a daily basis… And Dream could only guess, as he knew that Reaper dealt with the darker and uglier sides of reaping dying souls, to shield Papyrus from it. He also could guess from the awful nightmares that his beloved suffered from, and Dream would do his best to wake the other up and hold him close, promising that they were both safe, and that whatever the nightmare was, that it had no true hold over him. Which usually seemed to work. After those nights, Dream would insist that Reaper take the next day off, clinging to the other or trying to make a break for the mortal realm and thus forcing Reaper to spend the day with him, lest he cause accidental but well-meaning chaos with the mortals - who had no idea what to make of him, and regarded him as some sort of new, strange healer deity.

Which was very wrong, but mortals could be very stubborn and… The gods and goddesses would also get curious about who he was and where he came from and Dream… Really didn’t want to talk about or even think about what had happened to him… What he’d barely escaped from after centuries of misery, fear and pain… Due to his own failures and inability to see what was going on correctly. He had been far too late to save Nightmare… But there was… Reaper… They were completely different, Dream knew this. But he didn’t want Reaper to fall in the same cataclysmic and painful way that his other half had, and loved Reaper fiercely and deeply. He’d do everything he could to ensure the other’s happiness, no matter what it was.

Up to and including begrudgingly getting along with his counterbalance Life. Even if he still didn’t like her for how she treats Reaper - her haughty irritation and utter inability to understand that there had to be a balance between the two of them, lest everything fall to chaos as it very nearly had before Reaper and his brother had been created in their world.

“Staring off into space again, sugar skull?” Reaper called out from directly behind him.

Dream jumped a little and spun around quickly, feeling himself blush darkly, holding the picnic basket closer to his chest, noting the other’s amused smirk “I… Maybe a little. You’re home! Welcome home, darling!” He set the picnic basket down and threw his arms around the other, pulling the taller skeleton in for a tight hug, purring softly “I missed you…”

“And I missed you too, Dream. Sorry for not being here - the mortals have been working me down to the bone.  Luckily I managed to convince Pap to take a break - he doesn’t want either one of us to drop dead with exhaustion, after all.” Reaper responded with a fond smirk, hugging the positive spirit back tightly and pressing an affectionate kiss to the other’s teeth. “Are you ready to go? There’s this beautiful spot in the mortal realm that I want to show you. It’s in the middle of a thick forest, so it’s unlikely that any mortals will find us. Flowers and a field of grass. It’s also sunny and warm there, surrounded by trees. It’s… Almost as lovely as you are.”

Dream knew that his blush was intensifying, and he hid his face in one of the other’s shoulders, flustered and flattered by Reaper’s earnest compliments. “Th-thank you, Reaper. I’m ready to go and I’ve got everything packed for our picnic.”

“Wonderful… You spoil me ever so much with your delicious cooking. I just wish that I could return the favor sometime.” Reaper sighed as he teleported the both of them to one edge of the beautiful glade, floating just a little bit above the ground so that he didn’t kill the grass and flowers that covered the wild area.

Dream beamed brightly as he made his way through the glade, pausing for a moment as a couple of yellow butterflies fluttered up from the flowers, disturbed by the two of them walking through, and tilting his head a little in surprise when one came to land on his face - just above his nasal cavity, focusing on the beautiful and delicate creature “Oh!” He called out softly, delighted.

Reaper chuckled and pressed an affectionate kiss to one of his cheeks, gently taking the basket from his hands - noting that it was reinforced with magical runes that allowed him to touch things without destroying them (… They should probably find something for Dream to do when he was away from the light of his life, stars above only knew what sort of mischief the other would get up to). He set up the picnic, sitting down as soon as he carefully draped the blanket over the grass, opening the basket, delighted and curious about the food that Dream had made for him. He’d seen these dishes before, but hadn’t tried them. “I’m not surprised that you like butterflies, Dream. They’re pretty, and that one matches your eye lights.”

Dream nodded a little, moving carefully over to his beloved, unsurprised when the butterfly fluttered off of his face, landing on one of the flowers. “I do… They’re really pretty and fun to watch. They’re also less aggressive then some of the bees that would…” His eye lights dim and he looks away from Reaper as he sits down across from the other, grabbing the closed pitcher of lemonade and asking, the cheer in his voice painfully fake “N-Nevermind! Would you like some lemonade? I added strawberries, since you mentioned they were your favorite fruit when we tasted jams together a couple of months ago.”

Reaper frowned a little, wanting to ask the other what it was that was bothering him - but every time he tried, Dream just shut down completely or tried to distract him in increasingly more frantic ways before hiding from everyone for a week. He wanted to care for and support his beloved as much as Dream did for him… But if the other wouldn’t say anything willingly, there was precious little he could do, other than wait and show the other how much he loved and cared for the other. Dream was… Almost terrifyingly selfless. He gave so much of himself to everyone he met - and was always so stunned and unsure whenever anyone tried to give back - and often refused with a gentle smile and kind words. He smiled a little at the other and nodded, answering back with a gentle “Sure, beloved. It looks pretty tasty.”

Dream froze up for just a moment when he called the other beloved. Shit. Reaper had forgotten that the other reacted strangely to certain affectionate nicknames - and from what he’d asked Gerson and his father about what that might mean… Someone had hurt Dream really badly in the past. Reaper was certain of it. No one had awful nightmares like the ones that the other suffered from (even if they’d stopped being so common, the longer the two of them lived together) and was as skittish as Dream had been when he’d first come to their universe unless they’d been treated like shit. He desperately wanted to hold his beloved and beg the other to tell him who had hurt the other - convinced him that his only worth was the effect his magic had on others, and who had so badly hurt him. So he knew the name of the person he needed to hunt down and destroy utterly, so that they wouldn’t ever be able to hurt him ever again.

“I… I’m glad to hear that!” Dream murmured, his voice a little bit shaky, his hands fumbling a little with the cups he’d packed, nearly dropping the pitcher and stuttering out a quiet “I-I’m sorry!” as he accidentally spilled a bit of the lemonade on Reaper as the pitcher fell from his hands.

Reaper caught the objects with his telekinesis, making sure that the rest of the liquid went back into the pitcher “Hey… Easy… It’s okay. These things happen, darling. If there are things you’d rather I not call you, all you need do is tell me. I’m a bit of a bonehead, but I’d remember something like that, so I don’t upset you. I love you, Dream. I want to take care of you, like you take care of me. I just need to know what upsets you. I won’t ask why, I promise.”

The positive spirit hesitated for a moment before answering quietly “I… Okay. I promise to tell you the n-nicknames that I don’t like to be called…” He hesitated for a couple of moments, fidgeting with his gloves, before saying quietly, unable to look at Reaper directly “Be-beloved, Dreamy, S-starlight… Sunbeam…” Oh stars, he could hear Nightmare’s voice - corrupted and warped, layered with power that choked him and brought him to his knees. The ground an inky black, the sky a dark, horrifying red, the dust and blood on the ground, making a thick, awful mud that got everywhere. Tentacles wrapping around his body, choking him and breaking his bones as the other laughed.

“Dream? Dream it’s okay… It’s okay… It’s just you and me here. There’s no one around for miles…” A familiar voice called out to the positive spirit.

He sounded so far away and made his soul sing. A dark presence - but not warped and twisted - was close by. Why was everything so dark? Dream focused a little, blinking and realizing that he’d accidentally turned off his eye lights. Oh, no wonder he couldn’t see. A light breeze stirred the trees around them and Reaper was right in front of him, his hands pressed against something gold, looking as if he desperately wanted to come closer. Since when had the other been pushed off of the blanket? A little circle of dead grass and curled up flower petals scattered the ground. “I… Reaper…?” Dream asked absently “Why are you over there?”

“I… You accidentally activated your shield and it pushed me off of the blanket.” Reaper explained gently, his face and aura full of worry and loving concern.

His soul ached and guilt flooded him and the shield flickered briefly before vanishing entirely “I… S-Sorry Reaper, I didn’t mean to do that.”

Dream only realized he was crying a little when Reaper - who had cautiously moved towards him on his knees and reached out to gently pull him in for a hug - a gesture which he reciprocated and clung desperately to the other, trying to fight off more bad memories - gently wiped them from his face, the other’s voice low and caring “I promise, so long as I live, I will never refer to you by any of those nicknames. Especially when even saying them causes you this much pain.” There was love, care, and a fierce protectiveness radiating in his boyfriend’s emotional aura. There was also a dangerous undercurrent of anger.

Dream really didn’t want Reaper and Nightmare to meet. Ever. Just the thought of it caused the failed guardian to tremble violently and start to cry harder “I… I’m sorry… I w-wanted th-this to be a really nice d-date and I’ve r-ruined it…”

“Dream. Dream that’s not true. Yeah, I’m worried about you ‘cause you’re crying, and I want to rip the bastard who hurt you so badly that even talking about the nicknames they gave you causes you… Causes you this much pain. But you’ve held me when I’ve been all freaked out about crap that I’ve had to see in the mortal world, and you dote on me way more than I ever deserve. I’m just… Let me help you. You deserve to rest and recover, babe. I love you, and I swear, if I ever do anything to hurt you, please tell me and I’ll stop. I’ll never mean to do it on purpose.”

“I… Th-thank you f-for that, Reaper.” Dream managed out, well aware of the fact that his beloved did not make such promises lightly or easily. “And if I… If I ever do anything that upsets or hurts you, you’ll tell me, right? I don’t ever want to hurt you - accidentally or on purpose.”

Reaper nodded and smiled warmly at him, pressing a gentle kiss to his teeth “I will.” He was still very worried and wanted to go after the undeserving bastard who had so badly hurt Dream like this - but the anger wouldn’t help his boyfriend. After a moment the god of death decided that it would probably be for the best if he changed the topic of conversation. “The food looks good, love. What sort of sandwiches did you make this time?”

Dream lit up and grinned as he grabbed a couple of them telekinetically, handing one of them to Reaper “It’s got chicken and bacon in it… Lettuce and tomatoes too! I tweaked the mustard and mayo recipe, so the former should be a bit spicier, and the eggs didn’t do that weird thing where it split and became weird tasting. And I decided to make sourdough bread too!” He happily chattered about the food he’d made for his beloved, grateful to turn to a lighter topic. He’d gathered all of the ingredients - and in case of the animal products, slaughtered the animals himself, imbuing each of the part of the foods that he’d created with his magic - so that Reaper could hold it without it instantly turning into ashes. The vegetables and herbs he’d used to spice the sauces were from the small garden he was growing outside of their home in the godly realm - which again, were imbued with his magic.

Reaper took a couple of bites of the sandwich, followed by a sip of the lemonade “… This is really, really good, Dream. You spoil me waaaaay too much. Thanks.” He could tell that the other had gone to a great deal of effort to make all of this, and it really did taste incredible. He resolved to also talk to Gaster and Asgore about getting the council to let Dream do something. Even if it was just helping out in the massive library that Gerson had when they weren’t able to spend time together. The isolation wasn’t good for Dream, he was pretty sure of it. He hadn’t known that Dream had a shielding ability… He didn’t know anything about the other’s past, except for the scattered bits and pieces he’d been able to glean over the nine months that they’d known one another… But he was also fairly sure that Dream was genuinely opening up to him more. He just had to be patient. The two of them chatted about lighter topics and cuddled with one another, enjoying the peaceful and warm day together.

[lilacsolanum]

Who was your Shepard? What ending did they choose? Did it remind you much of the end of Animorphs?

Did you just– did you just give me an excuse to rant about my Mass Effect experience? WELL THANK YOU!

My Shepard was a fierce dark skinned woman with a penchant for a heavy eyeliner and a dark lip. She originally had a stern bun but I DID give her a haircut between ME2 and ME3 for the drama and she had a buzzcut. She ran around in a hoodie 24/7 and was my butch qween. I named her Ms Nesbit in ME1, but ME1 didn’t understand the space so she ended up being Ms Shepard which honestly was ideal. She was from the tragic Midnoir, and had the “soul survivor” psychological profile. I was absolutely role-playing her, giving her a strong “bright clear line” ruthless and practical moral code. She had. SO many renegade points. It was mostly a renegade play through, but I was always bros with my crew. Well. The crew members I liked. I killed someone on purpose in the suicide mission like. Bye.

I played these games blind and it was the best, not knowing how my choices would play out, not knowing what was coming next.

When I played the ending it was, like, 4 AM and I just wanted to be done so I could focus on writing and not be haunted by my love of this great video game I wanted to play all the time. So like. I wasn’t comprehending anything really, and Shepard was moving SO slowly, and I just went toward the pillar because it was shiny. TECHNICALLY I chose Synthesis, which was the cheesiest and worst ending.

I WANTED to choose Destroy, and would have if I was less of a sleepy bitch. Destroy was what we set out to do, and I don’t think the consequences of the literal universe existing beyond “the cycle” were going to be THAT bad. The Geth chilled out. Everyone calm down. Let’s rebuild.

Because I played a “war is hell, bright clear line” Shepard, the ending with her death DID feel right to me. It WAS very Animorphs-ish. Not everyone makes it out of war. Not everyone survives. But I understand why people hated it, especially if you played paragon. Like I told someone else, then the ending of ME is like if Sailor Moon ended with the gruesome death of Sailor Moon. Really, the thing that reminded me the most of Animorphs was the Krogans.

I wrote out, like, my entire play through under the cut because I was feeling myself and because I have SO MUCH TO SAY and played this video game like ten years after it came out so I only had one other person screaming with me. I (somewhat) restrained my boundless energy on their behalf. Cav is a patient soul.

In ME1, I killed the Rachni queen, because even if she was serving me some buckwild nonsense about songs and the general plot of Ender’s Game I was like bye gurl bye, your race died. It’s dead. It’s far too traumatizing for too many people to bring y'all back. Also, you are litterly a giant spider, absolutely not, no no, do not want, please leave.

I primarily ran Wrex and Kaidan because I very much enjoyed Kaidan’s idealistic banter where he’s just impressed with literally everything and then checking in on Wrex who was just bitter and full of hate. Wrex became my favorite character. I LIVE for a grumpy old man. I got his family armor and managed to chill him out on Virmire on the first choice, which was AMAZING, because I later looked up the other outcomes and found out Ashley would kill him and I would have been TRAUMATIZED. I zoomed in on Ashley being a racist and peaced her out, keeping my boy Kaidan around for another two games.

I accidentally romanced Liara even if I wanted to romance Kaidan, but I WAS flirting with them both for a bit (though I ultimately didn’t get the scene where they both confront me). I also slept with that random Asari lady.

I chose to kill the council in the end. It was the better choice for humanity. We needed to do something big to prove that we’re here, we’re not going away, and we’re just as important as the rest of you.

ME2 is just like Making Friends: The Video Game. Which was honestly so fun, I loved that it was an entire game devoted to character storytelling? I let Garrus break a dude’s legs, but I did not let him kill that man, even if I let him kill the guy in ME1. It honestly felt like letting that dude live was shittier. I killed the heretic Geth because, like, they’re machines, they’ve already been possessed by Reapers, they’re fine. I understand that Legion was doing it’s whole Breq thing but most Geth are just part of a whole. I was fine with it. I had enough Renegade points when I did Tali’s mission to allow her to be proven innocent without revealing her father’s treason, which I’m super glad I did because of it’s effects on ME3. The rest of the missions I basically just went renegade for the points. I loooved Thane, Miranda, and Grunt, fell deeper in love with Garrus and Tali, didn’t spend enough time with Legion but again, I saw the whole individual sentience storyline unfolding and appreciated it, Jack I liked ironically because Oh Boy Everything About Her (LOVED her in ME3 though), and Samara and Jacob were THUMBS DOWN.

And then Mordin. Holy shit. What an amazing character. First of all, he’s the best, second of all, he busts out in a musical number, third of all, his mission is SO BEAUTIFUL AND COMPLEX. But. I ended up destroying both Maelon’s data and Maelon himself.

The genophage was population control, not genocide, and while it’s a harsh method it was the kindest solution at the time. The Krogan really remind me of the Yeerks, actually. When it was pointed out that they were given technology before they had culture, I was like, yes, YES, my favorite children’s books series addressed this SAME THING! And like Yeerks, absolutely, I recognize that some Krogans were good, that they didn’t have the same bloodthirst as others, that they saw a better future. Wrex was one of those Krogans. Wrex had power. But was that enough power? How very easy would it be for a rogue group of Krogans to hide away, procreate, get strong, and go to war with the Urdnots. How very easy would it be to destroy the efforts of one man. It was idealistic to think that just because Wrex had influence, that the entirity of the Krogan race could be changed. Ms Shepard made a hard choice, but she did what she had to do.

Also, my renegade zombie face was fucking hilarious, the drama, the theatrics. When I came back from some mission with red eyes I laughed so much. What a choice. What an amazing choice Bioware made with that. I probed the planets and fixed my busted mug, but not after enjoying my glowing scars and bags under my eyes for a MINUTE.

I two timed Garrus and Thane for a minute, but ultimately I went with Garrus, because I texted my BFF, a normal person who does not write or read about alien fucking, with a photo of the two and he immediately replied with “zaddy with the scope for sure” and it was decided. Thane did call me sita for a hot minute and it was very very sweet. Oh and you knoooooow I flirted with Kelly Chambers HARD.

I played the suicide mission blind and I have this weird habit of overestimating video games when they are CLEARLY telling me what to do and trying to outsmart them, so I somehow lost Thane, Garrus, and Mordin. I broke my rule about not going back on any choice and replayed it to save everyone’s asses, except for Jacob Taylor, who I killed on purpose. No regrets.

And then shit went DOOOOOOOOWN in ME3.

First of all, fuck EDI’s robot body. I was already shipping her with Joker and in no way did they need a physical form, it’s called IMAGINATION. I might write a fic where EDI as a ship’s AI instructs Joker on how to get himself off, Dom style. *I* know how to write an AI/human romance without a robot that has FUCKING HIGH HEELS??? No. Nope. Also, why the hell does literally every male squadmate have to call her hot. What was the point. WHAT WAS THE REASON. WHAT WAS THE REASON BITCH.

I immediately went to deal with the Krogan genophage because I knew some shit was about to go on. This whole thing ended up being maybe one of my absolute favorite story experiences, ever.

It starts happening. Wrex rolls up. He is PISSED at me. He is saying he wished he killed me in Virmire, the first time I blocked a genophage cure. It’s heartbreaking. I loved him so much, and he’s SO ANGRY, and he has every right to be.

Mordin starts his research. Eve is there, she’s fucking ICONIC, her and her 50-year-old diner waitress smoker voice. Poor unfortunate goddamn soul, YES. I love her. But I also doomed her by destroying Maelon’s data.

Then the Salarian talks to me. And I know I’ve chosen this stance for Ms Shepard and that I’m not going back on it. When she says “You stop Mordin from spreading the cure, no matter what” I already knew what was going to happen. It’d been spoiled for his death, yes, but damn. The way it went down.

The first thing that happened that made me go “holy shit” was when we were all flying toward Tuchanka and I had an option to tell everyone about the sabotage. I actually took it. Even if I had this storyline, I had this moment of like, okay, I love these characters, I love Mordin and he’s so happy to redeem himself, I have to tell my friends about what the Salarian wants to do. And I chose that option AND I AM INTERRUPTED AND DON’T GET THE WORDS OUT. I mean WHAT a fucking amazing detail. When the option came back again, to lie to my friends or tell them the truth, I lied.

Watching to confrontation go down with Mordin just destroyed me. The voice actors killed it. I told Maelon about the sabotage. It was so fucking emotional. “I MADE A MISTAKE! I made a mistake. I focused on the big picture. Big picture made of little pictures.” Just. Holy shit. And I knew what was about to happen and what I would have to do, and even if it was a video game, I was IN IT. It was the fact that the renegade interrupt was in slow motion that absolutely got me. That there was extra time to think about it, to let him go. I closed my eyes and hit my mouse trigger and Shepard shot Mordin. The way she walked off and threw her gun to the side was devastating. And then the game made me watch Mordin drag his dying body across the tower to try and get to the controls, saying, “Not yet, not ready, not ready,” which was honestly very rude. And then the cutscene where Wrex looked out on his planet, joy and awe on his face, that was also incredibly rude.

I later watched the paragon version and just. “I’m the very model of a-” SUPER. RUDE.

I knew doing all this meant I would also have to kill Wrex. That wasn’t a spoiler, that’s just logic. So one day I go to the Citadel, lalala, fetch quest fetch quest fetch quest, and then I go back to my ship and BAM. Wrex. How fucking brilliant. There is no moment around his confrontation, no visit to Tuchanka. It hits you when you’re completely off guard. He also called me out on not doing the “Bomb on Tuchanka” mission because I did things out of order. Found Grunt, go cure genophage. I shot Wrex. Bailey would have, but it was my responsibility.

Later, Garrus called me out on everything during his “tough call” scene. I told him what I did. The way he then asks, “Did Mordin just go along with it?” and Shepard just walks off was so good.

So.

All of Legions missions were SO cool. I’m learning I have such a weakness for robots/AIs and sentience. “Do these units have a soul?” Also it’s little inner brain Tron world was great, and how the Geth remember the Quarians who were kind was just beautiful. When it came time to choose between the Geth and the Quarians, I was able to save both. Even if that wasn’t the most renegade-y choice, it came from my original mission statement: bright, clear line. Both forces living meant both forces could fight. The rest of my “storyline” was so super dark that this moment felt really triumphant it my little role play? It reminded me of The Doctor saying “This time, everybody lives!”

The rest of the game was just “How many people can Liana kill?”

When Thane died, he called me sita one more time, even if I didn’t commit to him, and it BROKE MY FUCKING HEART. What a great detail to bring back one last time. When Bioware is on, it is ON. 

When Samara held a gun to her head I was just like “See ya later alligator.” What a boring character. btw, the whole Morinth thing could have been SO cool but ended up so lame. I didn’t have enough renegade points to get her and I don’t even care. Bye. I didn’t give Miranda Alliance support so SHE died. That was sad. Grunt survived because my baby boy was loyal, but he might have died since I didn’t deal with the bomb. I was supposed to get a poorly spelled message from him according to the internet, and I never did, so uhhhh oops. Sorry, my son. Kaidan didn’t die during his little freak out because we were besties.

When Liara asked me if we were still dating, I said yes, then I immediately went to Garrus and he asked me if we were still dating and I ALSO said yes, then I flirted with James Vega and Samantha Traynor a lot. Eventually, during Garrus’s personal quest, he asked me if I was ready to be a one Turian kind of woman. I said no and he took the rejection well. Then I went to see Kaidan, and he told me he had feelings, and I locked in with him. I love the idea of Kaidan, who is kind of sheltered and idealistic, attempting to protect and soothe this war torn woman, while accepting the darkness of war himself and questioning his place in it. I loved the idea of us breaking apart, but brief grounded moments with one another. Plus Garrus never even seemed THAT into me, like, yeah you’re awkward bro but idk give me a cute nickname or SOMETHING, and Liara was boring. Liara was SO PISSED AT ME LMAOOO she used A Tone when I would go visit her in her little office and like stopped talking to me. It was hilarious.

I can’t remember if anything else super relavant happed in ME3. I hated Cortez’s “bury your gays” storyline. Gays can do more than be sad. Samantha Traynor was such an afterthought. I still don’t understand why a femShep couldn’t romance Jack, who is canonically bisexual, and I wish that was an option in ME3. I love that Kaidan came back bisexual, like he was just on his little Barbarella journey. What happeneds on Horizon, stays in Horizon.

I have written too much that no one, if anyone, will read, and I must sleep now before I chose the Symbosis ending again.