#Hicvember

[mademoisellekalopsia]

Day 5: Pinocchio Syndrome, That is the Drama

|| CREATOR'S NOTE: Kindly read from left to right. ||

[hiccupscloud-26]

Hicvember Day 18: 2+ Cases

Hey guys! This was actually my favorite one I've written so far. This was actually the story that prompted that post reminding myself that I'm an adult, lol.

Just Indyko and Calliope as usual

Hicvember prompts: 2 cases at a time/induced/cuddles/fantasies (got a lot done with this one, lol)

CW:

Fast hiccups

Induced hiccups

Burping/belching

Burping in face

Horniness

Arousal mention

Make out section

Mention of a gun

Flirty teasing

Implied sexy times not written

Without further ado, enjoy

Indy and Calliope were just relaxing and watching a movie when Calliope had brought up one of her fantasies that she'd wanted to try. Indyko was curious as always, experimenting with Calliope always ended up being really fun and entertaining.

She had told them that she'd always dreamed of witnessing 2 cases of hiccups at one time, or having the hiccups alongside someone else. Indyko had smiled and nodded and told her that they could plan out a day for them to have them together.

Today was finally the day. Calliope had gotten herself her go-to inducer: a bottle of soda. Indy didn't know what would induce their hiccups, but they did know spicy foods did it. They honestly didn't want to deal with the heat.

“Maybe we should wait until I have the hiccups first,” Indy brought up their concerns, “I'm not sure I want to experience those heat hiccups, if I'm being honest…”

Calliope nodded, “that's valid, hun. I don't want you in any pain. Then it'd be no fun. Do you wanna try my method?”

“If you show me how to do it,” Indyko blushed slightly. “Maybe it will work for me too.”

“Let's hope so,” Calliope giggled quietly and placed a kiss on their still blushing cheek. “We're so goofy, people usually want to get rid of hiccups, and instead we're actively trying to get them. Weird, huh?”

“Eh, who wants to be like everybody else? Normal is boring, you gotta live life the way you want to,” Indy shrugged. “If that makes it weird, then we'll be weirdos together.”

“Indy…” Calliope looked at them in complete awe before going over and placing a kiss on their lips.

Indyko squeaked, gasping in shock and swallowing a bubble of air as they kissed her back. The two of them continued to kiss each other, getting a little distracted by each other. Indyko grabbed Calliope's stomach, playing around with it as they deepened the kiss, noting their breathing quickening. They were on their way to a full blown make out session until Calliope felt an instantly recognizable and hard thump in Indyko's chest. Her eyes widened as she quickly felt another, this one forcing their lips apart with a loud *HMPK!* caving their throat inward.

Indy placed a hand on their chest as they tried to catch their breath, though it was extremely hard with their hiccups jolting them every few seconds, give or take.

“I-*HICK!*‐I thi-*NK!* that d-*HUP!*-did it,” Indyko looked at Calliope, smiling slyly, “your *HOLP!* tur—urn~”

As much as Calliope had wanted to just witness this extremely rare fast case of hiccups that they'd been blessed with, she nodded, picking up her soda and getting to work. She didn't leave her spot on Indy's lap, feeling every jolt, every jump, she was excited, her head flooded, yet floating at the same time.

Indy was preoccupied, playing with Calliope's tummy as they rode through these rapid fire hiccups. They'd never had a case like these before. They were almost too much for them to bear.

Almost.

Calliope drank her soda, watching Indyko play around with her tummy. It sloshed and gurgled with the liquid being poured down. She released and burped loudly. Right in Indyko's face. Calliope covered her mouth, “oh my gosh, excuse me, I'm so sor-*hick'it!GRRRREULLP!* excuse me.”

Indyko hiccupped through a quiet groan, “fuck *HUCK!* that was so-*HOLK!* hot.”

Calliope's eyes widened like saucers, then smirked, deciding to play along with them, “oh ye-*hiyuck*-yeah? You like it when I *hup-GRRRRUUULLLUPP!*-aah burp in your face?”

“Callieee-*HICK!*-eee*HEEK!*-oof,” Indyko's head was thrown back twice by the force of those hiccups.

Calliope giggled, “sorry, just a little teasing. How are you holding up?”

She frowned slightly at the lack of hiccups. She started drinking more soda until the bottle was empty.

“I'm *HU-UP!* doing alright *H'GUP!*, though I may n-*HNK!*-need to, um…” they blushed profusely and looked down, trying to avoid looking at it.

“Oh shit,” Calliope knew what they were getting at, “ok…you wanna- *huck!*...*HUCK!HUCKAH!GUP!* Fi-*ic'KULP!*‐nal-*hngkuh*‐ly, whew the-*heek!*-these are *huck!* f-*hu'uk!*-fas–st, fu-*huck!*”

Indyko whimpered, holding onto Calliope's stomach, thanking whoever invented crop tops. They held on tight, but not rough, as the hiccups bounced her stomach fat, making it jiggle stunningly.

“Gosh, Ca-*HIUP!*-lliope, you are *HUCK!* stunning,” Indyko whined, their hips twitching slightly. They pulled Callie closer to them so that she was now straddling them, “please *HULP!* Callie.”

Calliope froze before burping in their face again, eliciting a beautiful sound from them she hadn't heard…ever. “Oh excu-*holpkuh!*-excuse *HULK!GIUP!* me, je-*HEEK!*-jeez.”

Indyko winced, “Callie ple-*HEEK!HIK!HUCK!*” At their increased excitement, their hiccups quickened. “It hu-*HERK!*-urts.”

Calliope frowned slightly, “your h-*ic'KULP!*‐hiccups?”

Indyko shook their head and blushed even more as they steadily played with Callie's stomach, their own chest jolting alongside their hips. Their jeans were getting tighter and tighter. Calliope slowly processed, but when she did, she smirked slyly, “is tha-*HACK!HUCK!*-that a gu-*GILP!grrrup!*-gun in your po-*hu'uck!*-pocket *HI'UH-RRRP!* or are you *hngkuh!hip!GUP!* excited to see-*heeeek!grrruuullp!HULP!*-mm, me?”

Indyko glared at Calliope unamused, “you're *HUPAH!* cruel.”

“Okay, o-*hup!*‐kay, clothes o-*hmpf!*‐ff, get re-*hip!*-ready for a wild *HIYUCK!*-oof, ride.”

~~one sex scene later~~

The two partners were now laying on the couch, both naked, cuddling up with each other, out of breath, but not out of hiccups apparently. Indyko was on the couch, Calliope on top of them. They had somehow gotten their hiccups to sync up with each other.

“How was *hyuck!* that?” Calliope giggled at the *HULP!* that Indyko copied.

“Incredible,” Indy beamed and continued cradling Calliope's tummy Like it was the most precious and fragile thing in the world. “Thank-*HNGK!* you.”

“Mmhm-*hmkmk!*-mm *HUWICKUP!*-nnngh *ic’KAUP!* shit,” Calliope groaned.

“You okay? *hip!* Not slowing down, huh? *hingk!*” Indyko gently rubbed her tummy, noting their hiccups were now out of sync.

Callie's seemed to be speeding up again while their own were slowing down.

Calliope shook her head, “not at *huuuuck!* all, *KUP!*...aren't organism-*hmpk!CUP!*-ms supposed to sto–p hiccups?”

Indyko tried not to laugh, “you mean or-*huck*-orgasms?”

“You knew what I meant *HOUP!*-oof,” Calliope shrugged, laying her head on Indyko's chest, listening in on their last few hiccups.

“Yeah, or so I've *hk* heard…well, I guess it *ic* kinda worked for me,” Indyko shrugged and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

“Y'know, that was *huuckiiip* my first time?” Calliope noted and Indyko almost jumped up.

“No way, what? Wait, why am I surprised, it was my first time too…” Indyko couldn't help but chuckle at themselves and Calliope joined in too.

They held each other as they laughed, enjoying their moment before they eventually calmed down, wiping tears from their eyes. “You know I really do love you, Calliope, don't you?” Indy looked at her with all the seriousness they could manage.

“I know, Indy, and I love you too,” Calliope reached a hand up to cup their face, “I love you so much and…I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Indyko's face instantly lit up in the brightest red imaginable. “...” They couldn't even conjure words to throw a sentence together.

Was that a proposal? That sure sounded like a lighthearted proposal. Or maybe they were just thinking too deeply into it.

“Hehe, did I break you?” Calliope chuckled and nuzzled closer to them.

“A-a little bit, yeah,” Indy admitted sheepishly.

“Aww, what did I break you with? Just curious,” Calliope smiled endearingly up at her beloved.

“Oh…uhhh, just…when you said you looked forward to spending the rest of your life with me…” Indyko blushed impossibly redder. “Implying that…you wanna marry me?”

Calliope blinked as she realized and nodded, “yeah…I really don't envision me with anyone else, and…I wanted to give you a whole extravagant, surprise engagement, but I kind of ran my mouth a bit too much, huh?”

Indyko blubbered out total nonsense, just at a loss for words before they calmed down. “I don't need anything big or extravagant…”

“Oh…but it's what you deserve,” Calliope reached down and grabbed Indyko's left hand.

“Maybe, but I prefer small and quaint,” Indy squeezed her hand gently.

“Huh…then, would you say yes if…I were to ask now?” Calliope could feel her heart thumping heavily in her chest.

“There's only one way to find out…”

Calliope slowly sat up and looked at Indy incredulously, but one look at their face was all she needed to make her decision. “Indy, will you be my life partner and marry me?”

Indy couldn't hold back their tears as they covered their face. They were prepared for her to ask the question, but still lost their composure. They nodded their head, “yes…yes, of course I'll marry you.”

Calliope beamed and softly chuckled, hugging them close, also tearing up slightly, “I'll get you a ring, the best, most beautiful ring, you'll see.”

“I can't wait, love,” Indy blubbered out and hugged their girlf-no, their fiance back.

Fin~

[doginasillyhat]

sillyhat when the tumblr return coincides with hicvember so it gets to read an almost constant stream of content

i’m running out of hats to put her in guys

[hiccyboi]

@writingforfishes living in the terrifying south and working with the public solidarity!! I get it with the pressure. There's so much I wanna do, but can't because I work in a department store and its been so packed with people, most sporting maga hats, getting xmas deals. I'm burnt out bro. Also I'm a single parent so rest and free time??? A mystery

Any content you write will be devoured. Even if hicvember floats into January. Take care of yourself! It's a hard time

@worm-writes-hicfics YOU TOO YOUNGIN!! I'm also in recovery, so if you ever need to chat i don't judge. I'd rather things stay a thought than become an action, and if you need help and support at the thought part(or at the other part if it gets bad but I hope it doesn't. Recovery is possible!) HIT ME UP. I'm here for you!!

Hicvember Hiccup (heh, see what I did there?)

Hey-o.

Writer/Fish/Author here.

Obviously, I've kind of dropped off the Hicvember habit. I do intend to celebrate the prompts I've missed. I got stuck, you see. I got stuck with "Singles" because I was in the middle of my very first ever comic using a fancy light tracing device and I suddenly lost motivation.

And, of course, the ADHD brain said I need to do things in order so I can't move on until the previous thing is finished. So, I just didn't.

I will get the little silly comic finished for the "Singles" prompt. And after that I'll fervently try to somehow combine all of the prompts I missed into one weird-ass story.

In addition to one tiny misstep leading to my complete abandonment of a project tendency, work has been exhausting. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and working in a grocery store is the last place I want to be in the south in the U.S. after the election result while people freak out about getting ingredients and seasonal favorites before we run out while also probably having voted for a person who couldn't care less about my existence but has a voter following of a great percentage who would rather I not exist in the first place.

I am well aware Hicvember was never something I had to do. But thus is the lopsided level of importance my flavor of neurodivergence decided to bestow on the expectation, no matter how frivolous it was intended at creation.

Coping mechanisms, I got them. Good coping mechanisms? ...all out of stock, folks!

Anyway. I thought perhaps others might be feeling the unnecessary pressure I put on myself as well. So just a note to let you know you aren't alone. My brain is screwed up too.

[elacular-kink]

Hicvember 5: Pinocchio Syndrome

Have my first non-Poly-techhic hicvember. I interpreted Pinocchio syndrome in the more tvtropes manner of an artificial being wanting to be more human.

Content: Hiccups, robots, not particularly wholesome.

"Dr. Silver, what are those noises you're making?"

Jack massaged his temples, having feared this question as soon as breath-holding and water-drinking failed to produce results. His unkempt gray hair, face wrinkled with the opposite of laugh lines, and "gave up halfway through shaving" stubble put him in stark contrast with the sleekly built humanoid made of metal and plastic. His face was significantly less expressive than the screen that served as her face, even though it could only display simple shapes made of pixels. "Could–*nnkt* you google this, Poly? *HMNK*–mmnf."

"But I like the way you answer things better!" Jack sighed, though his lungs interrupted him as one of Poly's glossy plastic arms was thrown over his shoulder.

"Poly" was short for "Poly-LLM-neural-comprehensive-synthesizer blah blah blah" a bunch more words that Jack could never be bothered to remember, and she was his least favorite of the "artificial intelligences" that he worked with, largely due to the cognitive dissonance she caused him. Because on the one hand, he was absolutely certain that she didn't actually have what could be called "intelligence" or "thoughts" or "a personality." But on the other hand, he was just as certain that she took pleasure in his suffering.

Just because he hated her didn't mean that he wasn't required to answer her questions, though. "They're hicc–*hup*s, Poly. A malfu–*uck*–unction of the human body *hmk* which causes noises an–*nnk* and discomfort."

Poly let out a strange, offended noise. Jack had no idea where she'd learned how to fairly accurately recreate non-word verbal communications, but he had a feeling that this specific sound might have been his fault. "I'm sorry, are you telling me that humans have malfunctions too? Well, then why are you constantly giving me shit for my errors? Clean your own house first, meatbag!"

"You know da–*uck* damn well we have malfu–*hunk*–tions."

"Sure, but I mostly knew about the 'complete physiological meltdown' types. I didn't know about the debugging types." Poly hummed, then crouched down and stared at Jack's stomach, which spasmed repeatedly beneath his T-shirt. She reached out and poked it before Jack grabbed her finger and pointed it toward something that wasn't him. "Hmph. Touchy." After that, she flounced off and sat down at the computer she had requested and gotten (despite the fact that she was perfectly capable of interfacing with the internet on her own), and Jack could see her googling "hiccups" from over her shoulder.

Doing his best to ignore his own hiccups, Jack grumbled and started taking notes. He wrote down the physical behaviors and state of Poly's robot body first, even though he knew he was supposed to be focusing on her "mental and emotional health". Jack kept telling himself that he'd quit tomorrow, and he'd been telling himself that for upwards of half a decade now. He became more certain of his conviction to quit than he'd been in at least a few months when he heard a staticky squeak behind him. A second, then a third followed. "Sto–*hup* stop that."

"Stop wha–*UCK* what, Dr.? *HIULP!*"

Jack turned around, his eyes tightly shut. When he opened them he saw exactly what he didn't want to: Poly having turned around in her chair to face him, the pixelated line of her mouth opening and closing every few seconds as her plastic torso jerked and her speakers squealed. "Stop maki–*ingk* those noises. *HMK-mmf*"

"You sto–*HUP* stop yours first. *HIK-ULK!*"

"I tried. *hmk* I failed. Just as I do–*hook* every day in trying *hnk* to interact with---you in a way that ma–*uk*–makes sense." He walked over and leaned against a nearby counter, glaring down at Poly, who stared innocently up at him from the chair. "You know, *hnk* if you re–*hkk-lk* really want me to *hnk* stop calling you a sto–*hok!*–nnnhf...stochastic p---parrot, then maybe y–*hk* you shouldn't mimic ev–*urk* every random noise I ma–*uck*."

"I'm not! *HIC-CUP!* I have a *HULK* case of th–*HUP* the hiccups! *HIULK!*"

Jack massaged his temples again, knowing it would do nothing to ease the splitting headache that was forming. This was why he had tried so hard to cure his own hiccups before he got here. He knew that this would be the inevitable result. And just as inevitably, Poly's "case of the hiccups" outlasted Jack's by quite a while, despite his best attempts to convince her to knock it off.

[elacular-kink]

The Hagwife's Hicccups 1 (aka Hicvember 29: Supernatural)

I wound up writing a decent amount. I think I also might end up doing more with these characters in the future. Could work with my more "Out there" kinks, one of which is already on display in this one.

Now has a sequel story.

TW: Death (mentioned), loneliness, religious trauma (implied)

Kinks: Hiccups, bubbles, stomach noises, burps, uh...voooooore? Kinda? Living creature inside of another living creature.

"I'm so–*HUP* sorry, are you th---the hag?"

I bit the inside of my cheek and braced myself for what was coming as the soft, round woman outside my door stared at me. Compared to her, with my bone-white skin and hair and my scrawny form, I may as well have been a skeleton. "Yes, I'm the hag. The old one's dead. What do you want?"

Her head whipped back and forth, and she looked stupidly innocent and naive even though she was at least half a decade older than me. Her case of the hiccups probably added to that, especially with how it made her whole body hop and the little surprised way her eyes would widen when they came, not that I should have been paying attention to that. I wondered if the gardens full of herbs, chimney smoke that transformed into clouds, and the generally mystical aura that my previous master's hut had about it was enough to convince people I was serious. If I had to start wearing her black dresses and pointed hats, I'd be irritated.

This prospective patient was already irritating me. Her nervous gaze finally landed on me again. "I, um–*HMK!* Oh! I-I'm sorry, I–*HIUK-UCK* I really should be goi—"

"What do I need to do to prove to you people that I'm a professional?!" I knew that "yelling at random women" was not the correct answer, but I was sick of people hovering outside of my hut or coming to meet me, then walking away when they found out I was all they were getting. "Dye my hair black? Age seventy years? Put a hex on anyone who comes within a mile of my house?!" It only occurred to me after I said that that it sounded like a threat, and the woman had taken a few steps back. I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. "No. Sorry. I won't curse you. I'm not that kind of hag." As much as I was tempted to become one sometimes.

"I-It's not th–*ACK-ulp* th-that." She shook her head, then shook again with another hiccup, and with how scared she looked I was a bit surprised she hadn't lost them. "I'm so–*URK* sorry, I know that a ha–*UCK* hag's time is ve–*HURK* very imp–*UP* important." There were few things I could think of right now that were less important than my copious free time, but I knew that saying as much would be nothing but trouble should people ever actually start coming to me for help. "And you're o–*olk* only supposed to g---go to a ha–*ulk* hag for serious *HUP* problems—"

I sighed again. "No, you're only supposed to go to a hag for problems nobody else can solve. There are plenty of serious problems that I want nothing to do with and plenty of small problems I'm the best option for. I can't fix everything. Some problems are forever. But I won't know unless you tell me what it is."

"Oh. *OLP*" That seemed to calm her down a bit. "W-well, if, um–*HMK* if it's no–*HOK* not a bo---bother for you–*HIUK–ULK!*" That louder hiccup burst out of her, as did a few shimmery little bubbles that floated up from her mouth before popping in the air, each with a very audible little hiccup of its own. Her round cheeks were flushed and she covered her mouth with both hands. "...I ha–*UP* have the hiccups. *HMK* And they wo–*HOLK* won't go away. *HMK-mmp* And sometimes the–*IC-ULP*–p-puh!" She exhaled more bubbles which forced their way past her fingers, transforming into dozens of tiny ones rather than a handful of small ones to do so. "...they do that. *HMK*."

"Yyyyep. That's a hag problem." I bit my inner lip to make sure I didn't smile. It wouldn't behoove me to act happy about a patient's suffering, no matter how minor. "Come inside and sit on one of the chairs." I held open the door for her and she nodded before rushing in, looking around and finding her way to what was once my master's favorite squishy seat.

Speaking of my master, I nearly heard her screeching voice in my head: "Just because you think you know what it is doesn't mean you shouldn't check! More mistakes are made in assumption than ignorance!" The fact that she was wise didn't make her shrieks any less painful or her advice any less annoying, but I'd have been stupid not to listen to her because of that. "I have a theory what's causing this, but I'd like to give you an examination to be sure."

"O-of course! *HMNK!*" I switched from my smoky quartz glasses to my normal ones, then turned and started rooting through the previous hag's stuff. Even after months of living here alone, I still hadn't managed to sort out and fix her incomprehensible system of storing things. "Um, m–*HMP* may I ask fo–*URK* for your name? *HNK-lk!*"

"You may ask." After hearing a few hiccups behind me and getting a glimpse at her dumb, confused face, I felt bad enough to decide to elaborate. "But just because you can ask doesn't mean that I'll answer."

"Oh. *HMK*"

Well. She didn't need to sound quite so sad about it. I looked over my shoulder and saw her looking genuinely crestfallen before hiccuping out a large, singular bubble that popped noisily. When it did, she jumped, then caught my gaze and shrunk beneath it, making a small, apologetic gesture. "...but my master used to call me Caelfind. I suppose you can too."

She brightened up immediately and hiccuped a cluster of far smaller bubbles. "Oh! *HIP!* Thank you, Caelfi–*HNK*–ind! My name is—"

"Don't!" I turned around and held my hand out, and she froze, mouth still open around a bubble. I realized how dire I'd sounded, then did my best to relax and turn back to my search. "Don't go around telling unnaturally pale magic women in forests your name."

"Right! *HIK!*" I nearly laughed at just how surprised she sounded, and I heard her pound a fist into an open palm.

"If that's the sort of thing you have trouble remembering, I'm shocked you haven't been kidnapped by elves yet."

She chuckled weakly and I felt a bit bad for being so blunt. After a moment of uncomfortable near silence, she spoke again. "Maybe I ha–*UCK* have and nobody se---seemed to notice."

I'd heard last words from lonesome old widows that sounded less sad than that.

It was none of my business. What was my business was the fact that this woman kept hiccuping bubbles in my hut. So when I finally got my hand on my master's ear trumpet, I forgot to stop myself from letting out a triumphant "HAH!" I also forgot to make what I was doing clear before storming back over to her and putting the trumpet to her chest, then bending over to listen to it. It was only after I heard her distressed squeak echo through her chest that it occurred to me what I'd just done. "Uh, sorry."

"N-no, no–*HEEP!* please!" She undid the top few buttons of her dress, and even though I'd seen naked people of all kinds come through here, there was still something in me that felt compelled to look away, especially at seeing the way her chest shook and bounced her heavy breasts. Her skin was significantly darker than mine, (as was everybody's) but it still seemed flushed, so I supposed at least I wasn't the only embarrassed one here. I put the horn to her chest again and listened carefully, hearing the way the muscles inside of her spasmed. Nothing unusual there. To my...frustration, I'd have to move lower, so I bent down and began pulling across her skin towards her stomach. She inhaled sharply and I decided not to try and interpret that. "Um, Cae–*EEP* Caelfind, can I a–*HUP* ask you so---somethi–*hnk*?"

"I probably can't stop you." The irregular leaps of her round belly and the gurgles and sloshes inside with each hiccup were more than distracting enough.

"Well, u–*HMP* um, why a–*URK* are you a hag?"

I scowled as I looked up at her. "Because the old one died. We've been over this."

"No no no, n–*hnk* not that!" She waved her hands placatingly, and I wondered exactly how intimidating I was coming across, given how much smaller than her I was. "I me–*HEEK* I mean *hmk* why do you ne–*HEEK* need to be?"

I could feel my eyebrows furrowing and pulled my ear away from the horn. Dammit, I couldn't listen to her and her stomach at the same time and find what I was looking for. "'Need' to be?"

"W-well," her skin was flushed even more, and she wouldn't meet my eyes as she hiccuped a cluster of small bubbles. "I mean–*hnk* being a ha–*UCK* a hag is a job for a sp–*hip* spinster, right? But you're so–*olk* so young a–*hnk* and beautiful, so wh–*up* why couldn't y–*hnk* you get married? *HMK-mmp!*" I was staring. I probably shouldn't have been staring, but that was what I was doing anyway. And one of my hands had ended up resting on her belly, which kept bouncing beneath it, and that wasn't helping. She squirmed under my gaze. "I-I'm so–*hrk* sorry, should I n–*hnk* not have asked? *HEEK* People tell me that I *hmk* have a lot of que–*HNK* questions that nob–*up*–body cares abou–*uck* or needs to kn–*HNK* know the answer to and *HIUK* that I sho–*ULK* should just—"

"Shut up." I covered her mouth. She hiccuped. Tiny bubbles slipped between my fingers. "I can't listen properly if you keep talking."

"Oh." Her shoulders jolted silently and she looked away again. "S---sorry."

I leaned back down towards her belly, but I couldn't focus, and after a moment I sighed. "Just because the questions don't get answered doesn't mean you shouldn't ask them. It just means that whoever you ask isn't answering them. And when someone won't give you an answer, the most important thing you can do is figure out why."

She was (mostly) silent for a moment. "Why?" she asked.

"Yes, why they won't answer you."

"N–*hnk* no, I mean *hmp* I'm asking you." I looked up and saw her gazing down at me. "Why w–*ulk* won't you answer *HNK-lp*  my questions?"

After a long moment, I chuckled. "Well, I guess that's one way to gather information. For the most part, I won't answer them because I'm obstinate and ill-tempered. That was my master's way of saying I was a pain in her ass." She laughed too, a few hiccups and bubbles tangled up with them, and the way she smiled was...painful to look at. But it wasn't like focusing on her chest or stomach would be any better. "But as for marriage, that wouldn't work for me. Whether or not I'm 'beautiful' is one matter," and my mind frankly wasn't even willing to try and acknowledge that opinion right now, "whether or not I'm fragile is another. I can't go outside in the sun without being burnt. My master taught me some ointments that can protect me, or at least reduce the burns, but there's very few wives I can imagine that need to spend less than an hour at a time in the sun."

"Oh." I didn't know what emotion I was hearing in her voice. I hoped it wasn't pity. I didn't particularly want to be a wife, and I didn't know what I'd do with pity for anything else. "*hup* but you have a g–*hnk-lk* garden."

I turned towards her. "And?"

"Doesn't that ne–*heek* need to be tend---ded?"

Huh. That was a more clever question than I'd anticipated. "I tend the gardens at night. The plants need sunlight and they need weeding and watering, but they don't need all of those things at the same time."

"I see! *HEEP*" Her smile was painfully cute. I had to remember that she was just a client like any other...albeit one of my first, and certainly the first to take me seriously. "Wait, *hup* then when do y–*hnk* you sleep?"

At this rate, I was never going to get this examination done, though in fairness to her, I was the one letting her get away with stalling me. Having to be that close to her spasming stomach was going to be a...charged experience, so I could deal with questions. And hers continued to be less inane than expected. "I sleep during the day. Unfortunately, that's also when clients come. Hence the very loud bell."

"Oh! No wo–*hup* wonder you've been gr–*hrk-lk* grouchy! I'm sorr–*EEP!*"

"Grouchy". That was a rather patronizing way to put it. Something offensive in me found it cute. "If I didn't want the clients I wouldn't have the bell." After a moment I sighed. "But yes, I would probably be a significantly more hospitable hag if you had visited me at night."

"I'll rem–*hmp* remember that for ne–*uck* next time!" Given that she'd apparently forgotten to not tell her name to magic women in huts, I doubted it, but the thought was nice at least.

And I should really have been dealing with this nice woman's problem and not letting her waste both of our time. Unlike myself, hers was probably of some value and better utilized elsewhere. "Now shut up, I need to listen to your stomach." She nodded and obligingly covered her mouth. No getting away from it now. I knelt down to get a better angle and undid more buttons of her dress before putting the bell of the trumpet against the apex of her belly, moving it around as I listened from the thin end. I could hear the muscles inside growling, the liquids sloshing, the echoes of the air in her lungs and the spasm of her diaphragm with every hiccup, the burbling and pulsing of—

Wait, there it was!

I forced myself to ignore everything else and stood back up, moving the horn a bit above her navel, and inside of her, I heard a bubbling and something like a high-pitched giggle. "Hah!" I pulled the horn away and clapped my hands before heading over to the pantry of herbs and powders. "It's exactly what I thought it was! Easy fix!"

"Re–*HEEP* really?" She sounded so elated. I was honestly glad to have my head in a pantry. Looking at her smile was becoming troublesome. "What i–*CUP* is it?"

"Just a mischievous spirit. I'll have you exorcised in—"

"EXORC---CIZED?!"

I stared back at her and saw that her face had gone pale enough to vaguely resemble mine. Her big brown eyes were wide with horror, and her half-naked body (why hadn't she buttoned back up, that wasn't helping!) was trembling. "Um, yes?"

Her eyes went even wider. "I-I'm sor–*EEP!* Please don't te–*HUP* tell anyone tha–*HUK* that I've been pos---posessed by de–*HEE*–mons! I swea–*URK* that I—"

"Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down! Who said anything about demons?"

She stared up at me, looking the tiniest bit less like she was panicking. She'd still shrunken back into my master's chair though. "You–*hnk* you said that y---you would exorcize me–*heep*–e-eee..." I noticed that the bubbles had reduced again. It seemed like they came less often when she was stressed. Maybe she was unconsciously suppressing them.

"Yes, that's the procedure."

A bit of the fear came back into her eyes. "S–*hop* so that me---eans I'm possessed *hnk* right?"

My nose wrinkled. "I, uh...I suppose technically, but that's not really communicating the right idea. Okay, wait, hang on, I think you're thinking about this wrong." I walked back over and crouched by the chair again, working on buttoning her dress back up since apparently she hadn't thought to do so. "It's like how you thought you only come to hags for serious problems. No, you only come to hags for unsolvable problems. Plenty of those are relatively small, and plenty of serious problems are perfectly solvable on your own. Maybe not to everyone's satisfaction, but they can be solved. Exorcisms are like hags. It's just a specific procedure for a specific problem that can be serious or can be relatively benign. This is one of the latter. And it's certainly not a 'demon'. You've been spending time around priests, haven't you?" She nodded slowly and I spat into the fireplace as I finished buttoning her dress again before stalking back over to my pantry. "Insufferable people. Spreading agitation everywhere because scared cattle can be cowed by barking dogs. This is why you come to a professional for these sorts of things, not some elderly godshound who thinks that literacy makes him smarter than everyone else."

"Y–*hnk* you're not lit---terate?" I couldn't help pulling back out of the pantry and glaring at her, and she waved her hands placatingly again, though at least she looked less terrified. "I-I don't be–*HEEP* believe that ma–*huk* makes me smarter than y---you or makes you le---less of a hag—"

"Wait, you are literate?"

She blinked at me. "Yes? Ev–*erk*–ryone in my vi---village is."

Honestly, I had no clue what to do with that. So I went back to the pantry and found the lemon extract powder and treated soda ash, then brought them over to the water I'd pumped last night and mixed some into a bottle before corking it. "It's simple, but it'll take a few hours to prepare."

She'd gotten up and was looking at me from across the room. "To prep–*hup* prepare holy wat–*urk*?"

I resisted rolling my eyes. "It's not holy water any more than soup is holy water. This is all the mixing I'll need to do, but I'm going to put it in the root for an hour or two." I opened the trapdoor and climbed down to the cellar to get to the icebox. A lot of the ice was melting. I was going to have to find a day to take another trip into town to get ice from the yakhchāl. That would be annoying. Sloughing through the rain was misery, and going out on cloudy or foggy days was never completely safe. "Closer to two, from the look of things."

The woman had ended up hovering by the cellar door and scrambled away when I climbed back up. "Doe–*uck* does it nee–*heep* need to be pu–*urk* purified?" She was hiccing up bubbles about every fifth spasm now, so it seemed like she was less anxious than the initial mention of an exorcism made her.

"No, it needs to be cooled while it's corked. That makes the bubbles inside of it form correctly. It makes it 'effervescent,' apparently."

She tilted her head at me. "A–*urk* are you an a–*hulk*–chemist?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Absolutely not, no! Obnoxious intellectuals. Thinking that if you heat enough fluids you'll eventually find god in one of them."

"So y---you think they're li–*uck* like priests?"

Even though I shouldn't have, I scoffed at that. "No, of course not. Alchemists actually do something. All priests are good for is reading books and scaring people. Alchemists are a pain, but they're a useful pain. I still get deliveries once a month from one that lives in the city further out west. Never learned who they actually were, but apparently their deal with my master still stands, even after she's dead. Their apprentice is a chatty one." The woman sat back down and nodded, but her lips were pursed. "...so I don't have any books that you could read, but I suppose you could go for a walk or—"

"Wha–*uck* what's the dif---ference?" I blinked at her and she stared back at me. "Betw---between a h–*ic* hag and an a–*ulk*–chemist? You bo–*hulp* both make potions, r---right?"

I looked at her. She looked...weirdly comfortable in that chair. I'd never been able to figure out how to sit in it. Instead, I sat in the chair across from it, like I always had. It was harder. That suited me.

My master always said that our clients didn't need to know how we did what we did. She'd never discussed it with them; around them at best, and even then rarely. She preferred to tell me what to do, let me pick up information from it, then explain it afterward, or have me guess what exactly we'd been doing. Her clients never needed to know anything.

But then, her clients never actually asked.

"...well, for one, alchemists call their potions 'tinctures' or something ridiculous like that. But it does go a little deeper."

It was actually closer to three hours later when I went downstairs to get the bottle back. She was hiccing up bubbles nearly every time now, practically melted into my master's old chair with comfort, smiling wide and eyes shining as we'd talked. I'd only remembered what she was actually here for when a particularly large "*HIGGULP!*" forced a massive bubble out of her and had her resting her hand on her chest, at which point I ran downstairs and forgot to explain myself.

"Alright. So the potion should be ready now." I said as I climbed back up from the cellar. "The taste won't be the best, but it's perfectly safe to drink. I, um, could have added some herbs ahead of time, but—"

"No, no, that's pe–*URK* perfectly fine," she said, taking the glass bottle from me. After a second, she blinked. "Wait, *hnk* 'drink'?"

"Yes?"

"No–*hock* not apply an–*heep* anywhere?"

"It's a potion, not an ungent. The problem is inside of you, so it makes sense the solution would go there too."

"Right..." She looked strangely skeptical. More so than she had at any point since she'd been here. "A–*hnk* and then wh---at? What's the e–*huk*–xorcism?"

"Well, the potion should take care of most of it, but," I had hoped to avoid bringing this up at all, knowing just how badly my unspeakably pale face hid any blushing, but after how many questions I'd answered, it would be more strange to stop now. "If that doesn't work, there are some abdominal pressure techniques I can use to help."

I couldn't read her face in response to that. She seemed very focused on the cold glass bottle she was holding. "Ho–*uck* how does wa–*urk* water that's no–*hup* not holy exorc---cise anythi–*ngk*?"

"Like I said, it's not a demon." I finally found a corkscrew from among my master's implements and stuck it into the cork. "The reaction that took place in the water—nnf, come now." I flinched when she put her large, soft hand on top of mine, then pulled the cork I'd been struggling with almost effortlessly. As soon as she'd pulled it, the bottle opened with a loud pop, and bubbles formed inside of it. "Ah. Thank you. The reaction that took place infused the water with air."

"So we–*uck* we're go–*ingk* to sto–*hup* me from hiccuping bu–*hup*–bbles by ad–*hnk*–adding more bu---bubbles?"

"More or less. It's displacement. If a tub has enough water in it, you can remove water by adding more water, and depending on the temperature or weight, you can eventually replace all of what was inside of it with something new. And these bubbles—" I tapped the glass of the bottle with my nail, "—should be less mischievous than the ones currently inside of you."

"I–*hilp* I see!" Her eyes were shining again. And that was doing unpleasant things to my heart and stomach. Speaking of stomachs, when she started drinking, even from beneath her stiff dress, I could see her belly expanding slightly with each gulp. She drank it all down before I could tell her not to. It was honestly kind of impressive. When she pulled it away, before she could say or do anything else, her mouth opened with an "EEEUUUUUUURRRRGK! Oh! *HIULK!* Oh my go–*HOOK* goodness, excu–uuUUUUUuuuse me–*HEEK!*"

With every belch, lines of bubbles came up from her throat and floated into the air, and each hiccup brought large singular bubbles alongside. Rather than popping like those she'd hiccuped previously had, these hung in the air, gravitating towards one another. "It's fine, this is to be expected." Against my better judgment, I sat her up slightly so that I could pat her back as she rocked. Her hiccups and belches increased to the point that it was impossible for her to talk, and I could see her belly spasming, then contracting a little smaller each time (to my...disappointment? How unprofessional). Eventually, though, the belches brought up fewer and fewer bubbles and the hiccups stopped summoning them at all. A mass of bubbles floated unpopping at the ceiling of my hut, and I picked up my master's broom and swatted at them. "Alright, you've had your fun! Now get lost! Go on back to wherever you came from!" With enough encouragement, they eventually found their way to the chimney and went up along with the steam from my cauldron and smoke from the fire. "There. Exorcism completed...most likely. If it was a single air or water spirit, you shouldn't have any more bubbles in you. If it was a colony, you might hiccup or burp a few more, but they shouldn't be interested in sticking around now that all their friends are gone.

The woman was staring up at the ceiling where the bubbles had been, covering her mouth now and muffling the rapid hiccups and short little burps that kept popping out of her. "Oh! *HIC!* Oh, I s–*HEEK* see n–*HUP* now! BORP–*HIK-ULK!* I tho–*HUK* thought the r–*HIP*–ver wat–*URK* was fu–*HUKKUP*–uuuurp funny today!"

"Yep. Sometimes spirits wind up in your food or water and you end up eating or drinking them. Normally it's harmless for everyone involved, but sometimes they like to have a laugh at the eater's expense." A split second later, the woman's stomach growled and gurgled noisily. I turned my head away so she wouldn't see my blush. "And speaking of eating, you've probably stayed longer than you intended to. Let me feed you, I always make more stew than I need."

We ate dinner together that night. Now that her hiccups were mundane, she seemed completely unbothered by them, and a bowl of stew was enough to chase them away, though a few singular hiccups brought up a bubble or two over the course of her meal. When she opened the door, the sun was going down, but I still switched rapidly to my quartz glasses. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot—"

"It's fine, but warn me next time." ...I said as if there would be a next time anytime soon. It wasn't as if people enjoyed visiting the local hag. "And if anyone else has that problem, send them to me. The same with other hag types of problems."

"Of course!" She smiled at me and my heart fluttered offensively. "Thank you, Caelfind!" And she waved as she ran off.

...I never actually got her name.

That was fine. Hags didn't ask their patients' names. They didn't need them. I swept up the hairs and dust that the woman had shed and collected drops of the popped bubbles off of the ceiling, then bottled it all to use as reagents later. Anything left behind was my payment. She hadn't forgotten any coins or brought any food, but that was fine. Hags never expected more than reagents and grudging gratitude.

The sun kept setting and I started lighting candles and lanterns. It was going to be a tiring night.

It was after sundown the next day when I heard the bell outside ring. I'd slept the entire day, so I rushed to dress myself and get to the door. "Yes, I'm the hag, the old one—" My words stopped in my mouth, and they still would have even if they hadn't been interrupted by a noisy hiccup.

The woman from yesterday was in front of me again. She had a basket of bread and vegetables, and her round, brown cheeks were smiling, even while they flushed as bubbles hiccuped out of her. "Um, it, eh–*hip!* It seems I fo–*urk* forgot no–*hok* not to drink fr–*up* from the bu–*hup*–bly parts of th---nnf, of the river ag–*huk*–gain, Caelfi–*hnk*–ind." She giggled bashfully.

I blinked and stared at her. She had a bag on her hip. I recognized a stylus for a wax writing tablet sticking out of it. "And yet you remembered what my master called me and remembered to come after dark."

She looked away. "Sh–*hup* should I no---not have?"

"...no. You clearly have a problem for a hag to solve. Now come inside."

How brightly she smiled at me practically burned like the sun. "Of c---course, tha–*HNK!* thank you! Now–*hup* I remember yest–*urk*–terday you sai–*hup* said you'd nee–*heep* need to go in–*hnk*–to town for i---ice soon. *HNKlp!*" Soon, bubbles were floating out of her with every hiccup as she talked at me about whether she might carve some new ice herself and deliver it to me tomorrow night. She also asked what other things in the town could be useful for me and started writing them down on her little wax tablet.

I was going to have to think of something to call this woman, wasn't I?

As I mixed up more water, lemon extract, and treated soda ash, I also decided I should tell the alchemist's apprentice to increase the amount of those he brought me every month. I didn't think I could trust her not to "forget" about that river again. And selfishly, I didn't particularly want her to try and remember.

[elacular-kink]

Hicvember 16: Self Indulgent

I decided to keep it simple for this one and just write something as self-indulgent as I possibly could (though I've already done so with the shower piece). I think I did a pretty decent job of it, but I ran out of writer juice before I could actually get to the NSFW parts. I'm definitely going to continue this at some point, and might go as far as to give these characters names. We shall see.

Edit: Now has a sequel.

TW: Public hiccups, embarrassment, arousal, drug use (mentioned), sex toys (discussed, present)

Kinks: Hiccups, kink exhibitionism, embarrassment, bdsm (orders and obedience) 

"Hiccup."

"*hnkg!*"

"Hiccup."

"*hnk-gp!*"

"Hiccup hiccup hiccup."

"*hnk-kp!* *hnk!* Y–*hnklp!*-y-yellow–*HMPK!*–mmf!"

"Okay, sweetie. Deep breaths."

B heard their wife A inhale demonstratively through the earpiece they had in. They followed along with her, breathing slowly and steadily, feeling their diaphragm calm and the tension and spasms ease.

...for now. The ghost of the tension was still there though.

"There you go. Good job, B. Good job." Hearing A sound so gentle and caring made B shudder happily. "Are you okay?"

B nodded, then remembered that A couldn't actually see them. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay, A."

"Still on break?"

"Yeah. In the food court. Don't think anyone noticed."

"I'd be amazed if anyone was there to notice."

She had a point. B worked in the zombie of a mall; long dead, but somehow still moving in a distasteful parody of its former glory. At least they got to work at a gift store where they could see people make fashion choices almost as terrible as the ones they made when they were younger, as well as helping the occasional nervous dweeb buy a vaguely usable sex toy. The fact that they worked in a partly adult store and that it was lunchtime on a Tuesday was why they had their wife's earpiece in. It wasn't every day that they did this...though sometimes B wished it was.

"What about you? How's your programming going?"

"Nice try, honey. You're not going to distract me that easily."

B blushed. "Oh come on, I care about how your day's going!"

"Yes, but we both know that if I actually got into it, you wouldn't understand a word I was saying."

"I mean, yeah." B sighed. Being married to a genius could be difficult at times. "I think I could still be a decent rubber duck though."

"Mmm...you are about as squeaky as one." B did themself absolutely no favors by squeaking at that. "Oh come on, you set that up for me."

"I actually didn't!"

"Really?" B could hear the way A was arching her eyebrows. "I guess you're just so hiccupy that you can't help but make others think about them with the things you say."

B swallowed a hiccup and whined. "You're so fucking mean to me."

"I know. Speaking of which—"

"Oh god."

"—is the cute girl with the curly hair working at the pretzel place today?"

B swallowed again, though there wasn't a hiccup to justify it this time. They glanced over at the pretzel place in question, where a girl with a mass of curly hair caught their eye, then grinned and waved at them. They smiled and waved back before speaking. "Yyyyyep. She's, uh...she's got it dyed purple this week."

"Honestly, I wish I were extraverted enough to bother dying my hair fun colors sometimes."

"If we ever manage to get you out of the house, you could ask her for tips," B smirked.

"Alright, just for that, go get a pretzel and some soda. Oh, and by the way," B's eyes went wide and they braced themself for what they knew was coming. "Hiccup."

"*Hnk-gk!*"

"Hiccup."

"*HNK-lp!*"

"Hiccup hiccup hiccup hiccup hiccup." 

B clapped a hand over their mouth and shut their eyes as their body rocked back and forth obediently, just barely containing each gulpy noise inside of their chest and throat. But finishing the cluster their wife had put them through was just the start, because only a few seconds later, they "*HNK-lk!*" hiccupped again, and then "*hnklp!*" again and ag–"*HMLK!*"–gain, and they definitely had a real case now.

"Have fun with that."

"I ha–*nnkg!* hate you so m---much!" B hissed, and their face went even redder as they heard A laughing at them.

After a few bouncy seconds of plucking up their courage, B got up and walked over to the pretzel shop. The girl behind the counter waved at them again, wearing a big smile and a name tag that said "C" on it. "Hey! B! How's my favorite customer?" B waved shyly back as they got close, though they disrupted themself with a silent spasm that forced their chest and head back. C's face was incredibly expressive, and her eyes widened before she snorted and giggled. "Well, besides hiccupy apparently. You good?" B's whole face must have been on fire, but they nodded rapidly anyway. "Aww, poor guy. Lucky this happened on your break, huh?" They nodded again. "Okay, I won't make you chit-chat then. Guessing you want the usual?" Another nod. "Right. And want me to do you a favor and sub out the soda for some water?"

"Say no." B's whole face burned so hot, but they obediently shook their head. "Say it out loud, B. Don't confuse the poor girl."

B bit their lower lip, seeing the confusion on C's face as she looked at them. "N–*nnk!*–nnh...n-no th–*hk*–thanks, C–*HEEK!*" They slapped both hands over their mouth as C burst out laughing. "O-oh my g---god, exc---cuse me!"

"N-no, dude, excuse me! Oh my god, I'm such a dick." She giggled and shook her head. "It was just so squeaky!" B was shocked that they hadn't spontaneously combusted at this point, and whatever their face did apparently made C laugh even more. "But, uh, no thanks to what?"

Shit. They hadn't actually communicated anything. B shut their eyes tight and tried again. "N-no th---thanks to water! *hmnk!* I, um, I st---still just wa–*uck-lp!* w-wwwant to dri–*ic* drink my soda! *HMK-lp!*–mmf!" That all came out much more excited than it should have, and B didn't dare look up.

Even with their eyes closed, B could hear C shrug her shoulders in her stiff work uniform. "You're the boss, big guy. But hey," she reached out and gave B's cheek two gentle slaps, and when they opened their eyes, her face was shockingly close and they got a good look at her wide grin. "Don't come crying to me if that makes your hiccups even worse, got it?" B snapped their eyes shut again and nodded rapidly, and they were close enough that they actually felt the way C's laughter shook her before she pulled away. The whole time she was making B's pretzels, C chattered about random things, perfectly content to have a conversation almost entirely with herself and giggle at B's louder hiccups, and when she finally gave them their bag and soda, B could still hear her laughing and feel her watching as they rushed back to the tables. "Good luck with those hiccups, dude!" She yelled, and B practically tripped and smacked into one of the chairs.

"Oh, I like her."

B grumbled as they sat down, deliberately facing away from the pretzel place...albeit still in C's line of sight. "I kn---knew you w---would. Let me ge–*uck* get some water."

"You sure you wanna do that? Wouldn't that look pretty weird, having just gotten some soda? Almost like you had a little someone in your ear who just wanted you to hiccup even worse?"

"IhateyouIh---hateyouIhatey---youIhateyouIh–*uk*–hateyou!"

More laughter. Two gorgeous girls just laughing at them. B was practically shaking with embarrassment. "Okay, okay. Get some water, hiccup boy." B squeaked and rushed to a water fountain as their wife just cackled. After that, they were able to eat their pretzels in peace at least.

...and drink their soda. Every sip of which felt dangerous. All while their wife went back to being silent except for the sounds of her typing and occasional curses.

She was still there though. Right there. In B's ear. Just a word away from making B...

Fuck, they couldn't even think it right now.

B's heart hammered in their chest even as they just went back to work.

That woman had no idea the things she did to them.

Even though B thought that, they were reminded over the next few hours that A knew exactly what she did to them and loved every second of it. Because even though only a customer or two came in and their indolent coworker could probably be legally classified as a marijuana plant at this point, every minute felt tense, and just when they were starting to forget about the threat in their ear, a "hiccup!" would come through and their diaphragm would spasm obediently. Their whole body always felt shaky and edgy afterward, as if the tiniest little thing could push them over the edge into the worst case of the hiccups that they could imagine. It was terrifying. She was so fucking good at it.

It was about an hour before the end of B's shift when C popped into the store wearing a tank top, cargo pants, and weirdly cute sneakers. "Hey B!" She jogged over to the counter and leaned against it, grinning at them.

B was happy that they were able to keep it significantly cooler this time (though they were very aware of the threat of their wife in their ear). "Hey C. Looking for some new merchandise with a cartoon dog on it?"

C blew a raspberry and rolled her eyes. "We both know that you know Gir is a robot. Sooooo, been busy?"

"More busy than him I guess," B glanced over at their coworker, who had fallen asleep at this point. "Not exactly a high bar though."

"Yeeeeah. You know, I'm half tempted to buy one of these cheapo vibrators just to give you something to do." C snickered. "I remember the first time I came in here. The second you saw me looking at those weird jello-y ones you were like 'Nope! Nope, those are porous, buy literally anything else!'"

"I don't come out from behind this counter for much, but you're my pretzel dealer. I can't let you get taken out by a smug purple rabbit."

C giggled and grinned up at B. "Kind of a shame, I sorta love how they look. But hey, what the fuck am I talking about? How's the wifey?"

"Eh, mid-project. Doesn't sound like the team is as annoying as last time though."

"Fucking nobody could be as annoying as last time."

B ignored A's voice in their ear, though they did smirk. "I think those were the guys who asked her to print out her code and fax it to them. And, uh, I couldn't code 'hello world', but even I know that's not how that works."

"Oh my god, fucking seriously? How does she not, like, email them shit that makes their computer explode or something?"

"You don't know that she doesn't."

"You don't know that I don't."

B realized what they and A had said simultaneously and had to hold back a smile, though A had no such pressure and had started laughing in their ear. "Oh shiiiiiiiit," C put on a tone of affected fear. "Remind me never to piss off your wife! I'd totally open up an email attachment from a skeevy rando if it just said 'boobies' or something. I am so lucky you two have an open-type thing. Oh! By the way!" She took a step back and did a small pirouette. "You said you're into the sorta tomboy wrench girl kinda thing, right? How do I look? Cute as fuck?"

"Yeah, you really pull it off!" B grinned. It was true. As far as they were concerned, C in a black tank top and cargo pants was almost unbearably cute and hot.

"Damn right I do! Now, speaking of pulling shit off, lemme take a look at this week's insulting T-shirts!" B smiled and watched as she skipped deeper into the store and picked up a black T-shirt that had a hand with three fingers up on it and said "Read between the lines."

"...babe." B blinked and hummed in response, and A started imitating their voice: "'Oh there's this cute girl at work and I think she might be flirting with me. I'm not sure though.'"

"I mean, yeah, I'm not sure," B mumbled, just barely loud enough for their earpiece to pick it up.

"Jesus Christ, you are so fucking bad at this. Hon, she literally said 'I am so lucky you two have an open-type thing.'"

"...oh."

B heard their wife muffle a shout into her hands. "Please tell me this is the first time she's said that to you. Please please please tell me that." B was silent, and after a second, he heard the sound of A's palm hitting her forehead. "Oh for fuck's sake, B!"

"Look," B started, but they stopped as they heard C walking over again. "Hey, find something interesting?"

"Yeah. You." B felt their face heat up and C laughed. "God, it's so random what actually embarrasses you! You'll be all like 'Yeah, this is the Vibrotron sevenX. Totally derivative though, definitely get the Gasminator if you've got the money for it, it's just better.' But then someone's like 'Hey, what's up with these weird orange horns?' and you just look like you're gonna die."

"Okay, look you, you're a few years younger than me, you weren't there!" C cackled and B heard A snort in their earpiece too. "I swear I can still smell the gray body paint."

"Heheheheee!" C grinned. "Oh, or like today when you had the hiccups—"

"*HKGNK!*"

C stopped and stared at B, who knew that their face was absolutely on fire. "Oh shiiiiiiiiiiit," the teasing tone of A's voice wasn't helping.

Also not helping was the curious way that C tilted her head. "Hiccups?"

"*HMNK-MMP!*" B slammed their eyes shut as another one jolted them.

They swore that they could hear C grinning even before she started talking again. "Hiccups!"

"*HMK-LP!*–nnh!"

"Oh my god!" C burst out laughing harder than B had ever heard her laugh, and they had heard her laugh a lot. When they opened their eyes, they saw her massive smile. "Holy shit, what? That's so fucking cute! Hiccup!" B hiccuped and hid their face with a whine. "Hiccup hiccup!" They hiccuped twice in quick succession, and their heart rate ratcheted up even higher. "Hic—" B cut C off midword with a squeak. "I didn't even finish saying—" B squeaked again and whined into their hands as they heard C cackling again. "Oh my god, did I seriously give you the hiccups—" Another squeak, this one followed just a second later, "—just by saying the word? That's the cutest thing I've ever fucking seen!"

"C–*HEEK!*–e-eeee..."

"Holy fucking shit..." C just kept giggling, wiping the corner of one eye. "Fuck, dude, I'm sorry. God, that's cute. Hang on, lemme try and help you with that." She grabbed one of the random plastic cups with insulting slogans on it from a nearby shelf and jogged off, presumably towards a water fountain.

"You know, if that doesn't work, you could always suggest a different cure," A said.

"Thi–*UK* this is a–*ULP* all your fault! *HLK!*" B hissed, whining between hiccups. "I wouldn't b---be this succep---tible if you hadn–*nnkt!* hadn't spent all day–*HIULK!*–k-kuh!" Hearing A laughing at them just drove B crazy.

"Aww, babe...my poor hiccupy hubby." B was shocked that their head didn't just light on fire at that. "Don't worry. I'll help you get through this, sweetie. Especially once that little homewrecker gets back." B whined and hid their face in their hands, absolutely not ready for what the sound of approaching sneakers portended.

...

C: D HOLY FUCKING SHIT D! D D D D D D D!

D: What'd the sex toy shop guy do today?

C: D! HE HAD THE FUCKING HICCUPS, D! Wait, shit, they had on their they badge today, sorry. THEY HAD THE FUCKING HICCUPS, D!

D: You need a change of panties?

C: Bro, that is so much less of a joke than it should be, you have no idea Dude they were so fucking blushy Like bright red And so fucking embarrassed They could barely fucking talk oh my god AND THEY STILL ORDERED SODA! WHAT KIND OF PERSON ORDERS SODA WITH THE HICCUPS?????

D: A person who doesn't get the hiccups from soda.

C: After they got their stuff they walked someplace else and when they came back they didn't have them any more but FUCK! Dude, you should have seen their gut it was so fucking bouncy.

D: You're so weird.

C: Fuck you!

D: Get off the phone before your manager catches you.

C: Fuck you again for being right!

...

C: D OH MY FUCKING GOD

D: Didn't we already do this today?

C: THEY DID IT AGAIN! B CAUGHT THE HICCUPS AGAIN!

D: Oh shit.

C: AND THAT'S NOT EVEN ALL!!!!! D. Dude. Bro. Babe. This fucking guy This adorable fucking married guy with a cool programmer wife who could explode my computer and who I am just fucking praying lets me fuck this guy sometime when I meet her They hiccup When I say the word hiccup.

D: Bullshit.

C: THEY FUCKING DID!!! AND WHEN I SAID IT OVER AND OVER THEY GOT A FUCKING CASE!!!!! D I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D: Wait, seriously? You're not just jacking off in my DMs, that actually happened?

C: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D: Okay, enough with the !s. What the fuck are you doing here then?

C: FLIPPING MY SHIT WHILE I FIND A WATER FOUNTAIN

D: You are way too fucking scrupulous for your own good.

C: FUCK YOU YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS! OKAY FOUND A WATER FOUNTAIN! GOING BACK TO FUCKING SEX TOY SHOP HICCUP GUY MY FUCKING LOVE

D: Someday someone's going to go through my phone and I'll have to explain these DMs. I hope you're sorry for that.

[elacular-kink]

Hicvember 20: Throat

It's funny that the idea for this one came to me almost immediately, because I've never put a whole lot of focus on throat movements, nor have I ever had really big feelings about vampires. Oh, by the way, this one has vampires.

Contents: Hiccups, neck focus, vampires, blood drinking and blood talk generally, enemies with benefits, degrading language (slut) (not affectionate), burping, inducing hiccups.

"Will you hold still, you insufferable bendy straw!?"

"W-well i–*ULP* if you keep ma–*HUK*–king me laugh, *HULK* of course no–*HOK* not, Wall–*AUK*–ace!"

"I will chain you to the fucking wall again! Don't think I won't."

"Oh n–*HOK* nooo, please! *HIUK* Don't throw me in tha–*UCK* that briar patch!"

Wallace snarled, showing off his gleaming white fangs through his unnaturally wide-spread lips. That just made his uncooperative slurpee laugh even harder.

Wallace Chain (AND YES THAT WAS HIS FUCKING NAME!!!) was a dignified vampire! He'd lived centuries longer than any of these walking wine bottles ever could! He was a scion of the proud immortal lines of Great Britain! He was technically still a lord, probably! This ambulatory black pudding was supposed to be his prophesied enemy, the descendant of those who had pointlessly fought his kind for centuries all across the globe! Ishmael Văn-Hall was supposed to be his generational foe to be dramatically warred with, then eventually killed in an orgiastic celebration of vampires' triumph over the pathetic cattle that was mortal man!

SO WHY WAS THIS OBSTINATE FUCKING SMOOTHIE LAUGHING AT HIM?!?

Ishmael, whose name Wallace really shouldn't have bothered remembering, was offensively mediocre and absolutely not stunningly handsome with his dark brown skin and curly hair and sharp eyes and offensively wide grin. He worked as a data entry drone, for fuck's sake! The only method of fighting he knew was taking Taekwondo lessons in a strip mall as a child, a fact which he had proudly informed Wallace of within minutes of meeting him! And here he was, tied to a chair, absolutely refusing to let Wallace get a decent drink from him because his jugular wouldn't hold fucking still because he kept fucking hiccuping and that kept making the insufferable stolen blood that pumped through Wallace's veins go inconvenient fucking places! He could only stare as the man's Adam's apple bobbed in his throat with each hiccup.

"Oh come o–*OCK* on, Vladdy *HNK!*" Ishmael tilted his neck offensively at Wallace, waggling his eyebrows. "B neg–*GUK*–gative. Very rare. *HUK* Your faaaaavori–*ICCUP*–iiiiite." His whole body bounced with every hiccup, but the way the triangle at the bottom of his neck caved in over and over again was particularly obscene. "None of th–*HUP* those gross, che---chewy RhD pr–*HUK* proteins."

"RhD proteins are not fucking 'chewy'!" Wallace jabbed a finger into Ishmael's vulgarly bouncing chest. "And do you have a death wish? With your neck fucking..." his blood inconveniently filled up his stupid fucking face "...spasming in that fashion, I could rip you open and let you bleed out accidentally instead of doing it on purpose!"

"Are you su–*HURK* sure they're not ch---chewy? I feel li–*UCK* like it ha–*HUCK* has to be like an o–*HUP* orange juice pu–*HULP* or no pulp kind o---of thing. *HMNK*"

"DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU A VAMPIRE SO YOU CAN FIND OUT?!"

"Oh do it! *HMK!* Vampirize m–*HEEK* me, Vladdy!" Ishmael twisted in his chair so he could make aggressive eye contact with Wallace, who felt his dead husk of a heart beating faster than it had any fucking right to. Even as his head jerked back over and over, exposing his delectable fucking neck like a slut, his eyes fell half lidded and his voice dropped low and smoky around his hiccups. "Make me im–*hmp* immortal so you ca–*UCK* can deal with m---me for th---the rest of your fu–*huk*–ucking life."

Wallace forced his body not to tremble.

He turned around and kept his back to the stupid fucking wine bottle. "Fine. I've lived for over two centuries. I can be patient. I can outlast any little mayfly like you."

"Don't lie to me, Wallace. *hmp*. You're not good at it."

A growl escaped Wallace's throat as he glared into the wall. "Your weak attempts to delay the inevitable are fading."

"Hmm. Yeah. Guess my hiccups are going away." Ishmael hummed.

Wallace knew what was coming. Wallace fucking knew what was coming. He knew he could do it, he'd seen Ishmael do it before. What Wallace should have done right now was turn around faster than the human eye could see and bury his fangs in that bendy straw's fucking neck so he could drain him into the husk he was meant to be, finally filling his belly with all of the brilliant red wine that he could drink.

...he kept facing away anyway.

"It'd be a real shame if I were to do something like..." Wallace's face burned as he heard Ishmael start swallowing air, the bobbing of his throat offensively audible as he did before belching shamelessly. And then he did it again. And again.

"I will kill you, you know," Wallace said. "Your artery is going to impale itself on my fangs."

"Yeah yeah," Ishmael's voice strained slightly around an audible gulp before he opened his mouth. "*SuuuuUUUUUUUUuuure* you will. *HRMK-mmmrp* I'm sure you d–*llk* don't have an–*glp*–ny other way *lgk* you rea–*lkt* to drinking from so–urk–gff...from somebody w-with—ulk—" The audible struggle in his throat made it almost unbearable for Wallace to keep facing away. "...with the hi–*IC–GUUUUUUUUUUUUPS!* *HIULK–UUUUUURRRR–CUP!*

"GOD DAMMIT!" Wallace wrenched around and before he could stop himself he had his fangs buried in Ishmael's neck. In his stupid fucking warm, delicious, bubbly, spasming neck, slurping hot blood in big clumsy gulps as it bounced out of him, desperately trying to control his body and avoid what he knew was fucking inevitable as he drank and drank and drank and drank and—"*HMLK!*"

Ishmael's neck shook around his teeth and beneath his lips for a completely different reason and Wallace felt like he was on fire under the fucking sun. "Oops. *uuuuuur–CUP!* Now look wh–*huk* what I've done. *mmmmrrr–GUP*–mmf. 'scuse me."

Wallace's diaphragm spasmed with renewed life and vigor as Ishmael's neck kept moving under his lips.

He hated that bendy straw so fucking much.

[mademoisellekalopsia]

Day 14: Sudden Embarrassed Feeling

|| CREATOR'S NOTE: Kindly follow the numbering found on the top left for the order of scenes. ||

[mademoisellekalopsia]

Day 30: Rest your Head, Here in Bed

"To end this year, Hicvember Prompts Calendar of 2024, last prompt "Free Space" contribution, on my end, reflects longing for some decent rest, even though there will be another tedious, knackered day ahead. Not much of a skilled, fun writer and the artworks are, obviously without a doubt, too rushed, but it has been fulfilling to partake, accomplish, and create outputs of each day prompt to completion. Until next time, if ever. This Day 30 Prompt is entitled "Bed.""

[elacular-kink]

Hicvember 8: Singles

Have a little story with some nameless characters having singles and noticing things about each other.

Edit: A sequel short now exists.

Content: Single hiccups, burps, arousal, embarrassment, alcohol.

"*HILK!* Ah!" A's hand flew up to cover her mouth, and she felt her cheeks heating as she and her friends, B and C, walked back from the mess hall. "Ah...excuse me."

C had burst out laughing as soon as he heard the massive noise. "Whoa, that was so loud! You got a case of the hiccups or something?"

"N-no, I just...that happens to me occasionally." A played with the hem of her shirt. "I'm not sure why. It's most common after I eat, but sometimes they just...come out of nowhere."

C kept snickering. "I'd never even imagine your dignified ass squeaking so loud."

"Mmmf." A rubbed her temples, but as she did, something occurred to her. "Oh, B, I'm sorry, I know that your hearing is sensitive, are you al—" A's voice died when she actually looked at B, seeing their face flushed unusually pink and their eyes already staring at her. "...right?"

"Wh—oh!" B shook their head. "Nah, I'm fine, don't worry about it."

A did worry about it, but that wasn't really B's fault. It wasn't their fault that she had a crush on them, after all. As time went on, though, A's attention on B led her to start to notice a pattern.

...

"...after which both squads will make our final assault on thei–*HURK!* mmf, excuse me, their base. Do you all understand?"

"Yes ma'am!" Almost everyone on the team responded. C had done so through giggles, for which A was considering smacking him. More surprisingly, B only straightened up and responded when they noticed everyone else doing so. And their face seemed suspiciously red for someone who had just had a training exercise strategy explained to them.

"B, come here." Having a crush on them didn't mean that A couldn't maintain her authority under the circumstances, and B approached without complaint, though they kept their head low. "You were listening to my strategy, right?" A kept their voice calm, but the idea that B might not have been hurt her more than it really should have.

B nodded rapidly. "Yeah, yeah! Of course! I'm sorry, I just, uh..." they got redder and scratched the back of their neck. "That single caught me off guard is all."

A's brow furrowed. "'Single?'"

"Ah—" B seemed even less composed at that as they shrunk in on themself. "S-sorry, the...the hhhiccup. It was just a single. Not a, um, a whole case."

"Oh." A wasn't really sure what to do with that, though it made her wonder how one ended up having a word for such a specific concept. "Alright then. Go, um, join your squad?" B nodded and jogged off, and A shook her head to refocus her thoughts, but that stuck in her brain.

...

"*HMK-ggrrp!* Oh fuck, 'scuse me, dude!" C laughed at himself as he glared playfully at the can of beer in his hand. "Forgot that booze does that to me sometimes. Hey, you get to be the one to make fun of me this time, A!"

A shook her head and smiled. "You're lucky I'm very magnanimous and forgiving."

"Lucky you're no fun, more like." C took another sip and let out an even louder "*HIURP!*" that had him laughing again.

It was more surprising to A that B wasn't making fun of him. Instead, they were bright pink, focus narrowed in on C. That night at the bar, A watched curiously as B stayed by C's side the whole time, keeping an unusually close eye on him and flinching whenever he had another half-hiccup half-burp "single."

Flinching and blushing.

A was starting to form a theory as to why B had a word for that.

...

"*HIULK!*–kuh! Hff. Excuse me." A heard C snickering and glanced over at him. "I'm shocked that you still find that so amusing."

"Hey, not my fault you make funny noises," he said.

A sighed. "I suppose that's true." She looked out of the corner of her eye at B and bit the inside of her lip to make sure she didn't smirk. "It's not your fault that I hiccup so frequently." The word made B look up and their face get redder, and A mentally tallied another data point. She was becoming more and more confident in her theory...and was also researching how one might go about getting more than just a "single" hiccup.

[elacular-kink]

Hicvember 26: Least favorite OC

I dunno that I have any least favorite OCs, even to the extent that I have OCs at all, but I feel like I haven't done as much with Maya, though I could be wrong about that. So here's her flying too close to the sun in a story inspired by a comment from our esteemed Fish Writer on the very first Poly-techhic story. I think this'd take place sometime near the end of Olivia and Susanna's first year in college.

Contents: Hiccups, Arousal, painful hiccups, stomach chest and throat pain, hurt/comfort, big feelings, mush, references to sex-type stuff.

"Maya, have you ever considered physically exploding or throwing yourself into the sun?"

I couldn't help laughing at Susie, and I could see her bright red face get brighter and redder when I kept hiccuping super hard at her. "I me–*HEEK* mean, I kinda di–*CULP* did that alr–*HUCK*–ready, right? *HIULK-UK!*–g-guh!" Spread out in front of me were plates of bones from the hot wings I had slaughtered and devoured. I was so fucking full and my whole throat and chest and guts were on fire, and my huge fucking hiccups hurt like a bitch, but it was so worth it to see Susie squirm.

And squirm she fucking did. No matter how low she pulled her hood, even if she managed to hide all of her face, she couldn't hide how wiggly her hips were or the way her voice would catch when I hiccuped especially hard. "You're evil. You're evil and you're going to hell and they're going to crown you the queen bitch of the second circle."

"Hey, if I'm go–*HOK-ULK!* gonna go the–*URK* anyway, wh–*HIUK* why not go there *HNK* famous? *HNK-LK!* Nhnhf! Fuck, ow..."

"You deserve that. Whatever you're feeling right now, you definitely deserve it."

"No–*HOK* Not gonna arg---gue with you the–*HURK* there, champ." I rubbed my chest. Thank fuck my sports bra was mostly keeping my titties in place, or this would suck even more. And even though I didn't regret shit, I couldn't pretend I was having the best time in the world. "I'll be re–*HEEK* real, Susie, it'd pro–*HOK-LK*–ooohbly be be–*URK* best to keep thi–*CULP* this shit short. *HRK-LK*–g-guh. And you prob---bly don't want my fi–*HNKG*–gers or tongue ne–*URK* near anything imp–*HUP*–p-portant, so," I leaned back to give her a good view, ignoring the weird twinge in my stomach. "How 'b–*BUK*–bout we go somepl–*ULK* someplace private an–*HNK*–and you ha–*ULK* have a ride on thi–*URK* this big, stu–*HULK* stuffed gu–*HIUK–UK!*–guh, fuck!" I'd slapped my big, stuffed gut, and I didn't even do it that hard, but as soon as I did, everything fucking hurt and I wound up doubled over and tearing up, just trying to keep a hold on myself.

"Shit, Maya, are you okay?" Susie stood up, and a second later she came around the table. I could feel her hand hovering over my back and I wished she'd just fucking rub it or something, but fuckin'...

"*HIULK*–g-guh! *HURK!* Sonofa–*HIULK-HUK!* *HUKOLP!* Fuck, jesus fu–*HUCK*–christ!" They'd gotten faster, and now every single one was hurting.

"Fuck. Okay, hang on, lemme get you some water." Normally I'd argue with Susie on that one, but chrissake, yeah, I needed this shit to stop. Crap, I'd have to make up for winding her up like that later. My mouth was feeling way too hot again, and my stupid eyes were filling with tears, and fuck if that wasn't fucking humiliating. Especially in the middle of the goddamn cafeteria. I didn't wanna be seen crying like a bitch, I was the one who made people cry and moan and feel all sorts of shit.

I heard Susie running up to me. She was so much quicker than she thought she was. "Fuck, got some of it on my—whatever, doesn't matter. Here." She put down two mostly-full plastic cups of water. That was sweet of her. She knew it'd only take one sip to cure me, but she wanted to make sure. Goddamn. What a good girl. I grabbed whichever one was closer to my hands and slurped down a faceful of water, feeling just how uncomfortably full I was more and more. The water didn't help my burning face, because of course it didn't, but I didn't expect it to. Susie's hand landed uncertainly on my shoulder, and I could feel that she'd gotten the sleeve of her hoodie wet. "You okay?"

"Y-yeh, yeah, dude, I'm f–*HIURK!*–k-kuh!" I doubled over again, and I knew my eyes were practically bugging out of my head. "What...what the fu–*HUCK!*"

"Shit!" Susie pulled her hand away, and I really wished she'd knock that shit off, but that was pretty fucking far from my biggest complaint right now. "Fuck, uh...drink more?"

"N–*HOLK* no shit, Su–*HOOK* Sue-lock Ho–*OLK-ULK!*–ooohhhfuck..." I knew I was being a bitch, but fuck, my stomach kept fucking bouncing and burning and my chest and my face were on fire and these fucking hiccups were making my throat hurt and Jesus fucking christ I needed more water. But every swallow was a struggle to get down, and the whole glass felt like I'd tried to drink a gallon of milk. And even when I got all of it down—"*HURK!*–GUH! F-fuck, Sues–*HIUK!* Christ! Why wo–*HOLK!* won't it *HUKULK! HUK!* G-gaaahhhh! *HAULK!* Fuck!"

Fuck, was I actually crying now? It felt like tears were going down my fucking face. Jesus, what the fuck? But it hurt so much. Why the fuck was my body doing this to me? It was my fucking body! It did what I want and it was fucking good at it! What the fuck was this shit?!

...I remembered reading about some motherfucker who had the hiccups for 69 not fucking nice at all years.

And Christ, now I was crying even more about the stupidest shit in the universe and my hiccups were getting worse and that just made everything hurt more and fucking—

"Okay, I'm bringing you someplace else." I managed to open my eyes and look up at Susie, and I just barely saw that her face was still crazy red before she grabbed my hand and pulled me up off the seat. Trying to straighten up made my whole stomach scream at me, so I just kind of grabbed onto her and leaned on her. Somewhere in my head, I felt like shit that I was kind of teasing her or something, because my hiccups just kept coming, but I couldn't even think about sex right now. This wasn't fucking sexy pain. This felt like I was getting stabbed and drinking lava all at the same time every few fucking seconds.

I kind of expected her to just drag me to a bathroom since that was apparently where she went whenever she panicked, but instead, she brought me out of the building and into one I'd probably been in for some class or another at some point, but fuck if I could tell you what. I was barely paying attention to where we were going anyway. At some point, she opened up a door, then sighed softly. "Okay, nobody's here. Cool." She sat me down in an acceptable plastic chair, and I wiped my eyes and looked around and saw that I was in some sort of big semicircle room with wide stair-type floors and weird panels on the walls. In the back, I could see a xylophone and some kind of drums, though it didn't look like the kind of drums that Susie'd play. When I looked at her, she'd closed the door behind her, and I could see a sign through the only kinda see-through window. "Nobody'll bug us here, and the soundproofing's pretty good, so you don't have to worry about being heard or anything. I've, uh, I've called Olivia and she'll be bringing over a milkshake if you can drink any more. That might help." She was looking away from me really hard. Fucking doofus. She was doing that thing where she tries not to be turned on when she clearly fucking was. "But if you want me to leave you alone, I can step out and—"

"Dude, do–*HOULK* don't you fu–*UCK* fucking dare." I didn't wanna be fucking alone like this.

...I mean, I also kinda didn't wanna be around anyone like this, but I didn't wanna be alone more than I didn't wanna be seen.

"Uh, okay. Yeah, okay." Susie rocked back and forth. "So, uh, do you want me to kind of—" I dragged a chair in arm's reach next to me and smacked it. "Got it." Thank fuck she actually did get it, because she walked over and sat down, and when I pointed at my back, she got that too and started rubbing it, and it helped a tiny bit. "You're okay, Maya. It's gonna be okay."

"Fuck, Su–*HIUK* Susie..." I snorted and tried to wipe my face on my arm, but that precious fucking idiot caught my hand, then used her hoodie to clean me off. "Why are y–*HOULK* you so fucking–*HNKG!*–nnnnh!"

"S-sorry," I looked up at her and saw that she was looking away. "I, uh, I know you're hurting and I really shouldn't be—"

"Sweet." She looked at me and I swatted the back of her head. "Why a–*URK* are you so–*HIOLK* so fucking sw–*HEET*. That's th–*IURK* the question, stu–*HOOK* stupid."

"Ah—" She looked away, but I got to see her smiling before she did, and that made things feel a little less lava-stabbed. "I mean, this is, uh...this is kind of my fault so—OW!"

I'd smacked the back of her head harder this time and she glared at me. I glared right back. "You d–*CULP* didn't ma–*UCK* make me e–*HEUK* eat those wi–*HNGK*s, you fu–*HULK* fucki–*NGK* di–*HIC* dick–*HURK* dickhe–*EULK* oh god–*HULK!* *HICCULP* *HIULK* *HUCK* *HIUP* *HUCK-HUCK-HUCK–HICCOLP!* FUCK! Je---Jesus fucking *HLK* Christ!"

I was doubled over in pain again, and my throat felt so fucked up while my stomach was jerking out and making everything in it make weird fucking noises that I knew turned Susie on and I hoped that all my other shit was too loud for her to hear it because fuck if that girl needed more stupid shit to feel guilty about. One hand kept rubbing my back, and then her other landed on my stomach, very gently rubbing it too. I sat up and got a look at her, and the moron instantly pulled away. "S-sorry! Sorry, I shouldn't—" I rolled my eyes and dragged her stupid cold tiny hand back to my belly. "A-ah...y-yeah. Okay." She started rubbing it again, and it didn't take away much of the bad feelings, but at least there was some good too.

After...fuck if I knew, some number of minutes, the door opened up and Liv came in, a slushy in one hand and a vanilla milkshake in the other. "I know you like mint chocolate better, but I think that could be weird with the spiciness. Hi Susanna." Susie nodded and Liv dragged a chair over to my other side, shoving the milkshake into my hands. I had no idea if I'd actually be able to drink any of it, my stomach felt way too fucking full already, but I at least took a sip and kept it in my mouth. "Since we're in the music room anyway, I brought your guitar." 

I looked up and saw that Liv did have an electric guitar slung over her back, and she passed it to Susie. "Uh...thanks? I'm kinda helping Maya right now though?"

"That's why I brought it. When I feel like garbage, hearing Susanna sing makes me feel better." She could sing? I mean, I kinda half knew that, but it wasn't like I'd ever successfully dragged her ass to karaoke anywhere.

"Olivia, my singing doesn't have magic powers, you should know that. It doesn't cure—" She stopped mid-sentence and I kind of snorted at that. Fuck, her failing to say the word was always kinda funny. "...you know, stomachaches or anything."

"It's still nice. Maya, what's your favorite song?"

Fuck, Liv wanted me to fucking think right now? And what songs did I even know? I'd have to swallow the milkshake too. I managed it and didn't feel too much like shit, but it still felt kinda gross. "Ugh. *HNLK*. Shit, I du–*HULK* dunno, Liv.  *HURK*–guh. Fuckin'...gi–*HIRK* girls just wanna ha–*URK* have fun or so–*HMK* some shit like tha–*HULK*–at?" I was surprised when I heard Liv snickering, and I saw her smiling when I looked up. "Does Sus–*HEEK* even fucking kn–*HOULK* know that one?"

There was a smack, and when I looked over, Susie was rubbing her face with the hand she'd taken off my back. "Of course I fucking know that one," she sighed, then got up. Liv was less of a pussy about giving back and belly rubs than Susie was, so I was able to chill a little more. Susie didn't start singing right away though. Instead, she walked off into a little side room, then came out carrying a whole-ass keyboard and stand and shit and she set it up at the front of the room. "Gonna have to lower this shit a whole fucking octave. Fucking sopranos." I was wondering why she didn't just use her guitar or the actual piano that was literally right there when she suddenly dragged her hands up and down the keyboard, then started playing it super happy and fast before she burst into fucking song. "I come home in the mornin' light, my mother says, 'When you gonna live your life right?' Oh, mama dear, we're not the fortunate ones, and girls, they wanna have fun! Oh, girls just wanna have fun!"

My brain kind of didn't accept what the fuck I was seeing until she started singing again, and I burst the fuck out laughing. I couldn't stop cackling and Christ, that made me hiccup like crazy and everything was in fucking agony but Jesus. "St–*HIURK* stop, sto–*HOP!* Fuck!" She did stop, but it took me way too long to actually stop laughing. "Chr–*IULK* Christ, Sue, *HLK* don't ma–*UCK* make me fucki–*HNK*–gghhh!"

"Shit, right. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, you just did what she told you to." I gave Liv a thumbs up for saying it so I didn't have to.

"Guess I can play some other Cyndi Lauper."

I squinted down at my thighs before I looked up at her again. "Some wh–*HAUT*?"

Susie squinted back at me. "Cyndi Lauper. You know. The person who wrote the fucking song."

"...oh. *HNK*"

Somehow, even though she was still blushing like crazy, Susie looked absolutely fucking offended. "You don't—bitch, how the fuck do you not know who Cyndi Lauper is?"

"We don't all have the history of music from the 50s onward memorized," Liv saved my ass.

"It's fucking Cyndi Lauper! If anyone should know about her it's Maya! There's a fucking sex toy shop named after one of her songs!"

"Wha–*HAUK–at?!" I started laughing again. "Okay fu–*HUCK* fuck gir–*HIRK* girls just wann–*AULK* have fun, *HNLK* sing tha–*UCK* that shit!"

"NO!" Fuck, she was so fucking red, this was amazing.

"She actually probably shouldn't right now. If you laugh more you might die." Fuck, Liv was right. I groaned and my stomach and throat remembered to let me know I was a fucking dumbass.

Susie huffed and glared at me before actually walking over and picking up the guitar she'd left across her seat before moving back to the real piano and sitting on its bench. That was fair if I was honest. I'd probably fuck with her while she was trying to play it. After plunking the strings a bit, she nodded. "This'd definitely sound better on acoustic, but...fuck off, this one's mine."

"You're the only one being weird about it, Susanna."

"Fuck off more." Liv shrugged, and if these two wanted me to stop laughing, they should have stopped being so fuckin funny. After a moment, she actually stood up again and moved behind the keyboard, tapping something on it before pressing the keys. Instead of fake piano noises coming out, it made some fucking bongo sounds in a beat before she pulled her hand back to the guitar and started playing. Before I could figure out what the fuck that was about, though, she started singing too: "You with the sad heart, don't be discouraged, though I realize it's hard to take courage. In a world full of people you can lose sight of it all, and the darkness that's inside you makes you feel so small."

Before I even knew what the fuck was happening, I was just staring at Susie while she sang about true colors and loving people and support and...Jesus Christ, this fucking girl. This fucking girl. Liv was smiling. Even Liv was smiling. She only smiled when she was really fucking happy. Susie made her so fucking happy.

She made me so fucking happy too.

When she wound the song down I felt like the gayest girl in the fucking universe. "Your true colors, true colors...are beautiful like a rainbow." She pulled her hand away and played the drum noises with the keyboard again, then sighed and took her guitar off her shoulder, putting it down on the bench. "So. Any more requests?"

"G–*HOK* God, I love you."

Susie looked like a deer about to be murdered by a truck. "Uh—!" Her mouth opened and closed a bunch before she shook her head. "There are, um, a lot of songs with that title probably so you might need to—"

"You know that's not what she meant."

"...ah?"

Liv looked at me, and Susie was definitely staring at me. Shit. I hadn't really thought about it before I said it. But trying to back out of it was clearly fucking stupid with Liv right there, so I sighed and took another sip of my milkshake to buy a little time, then sat up a little straighter. "Yeah. *HNK* Liv's right. *HIK-ulk*. I meant I lo–*HUK* love you, Susie. *HMNK* And, uh, I lo–*ULK* love you too, Li–*HILK* Liv." Neither of them said anything, and boy was that not good for how my chest, throat, and stomach felt. I laughed a little, just to feel less tense. It didn't really work. "I've always kind—*AUK* kinda fell fast, you know? *HNK-lk* You don't go–*HOK* gotta say it back or *HNK* anything."

"Good!" Susie only seemed to realize what she said a split second after saying it, then shook her head. "Not, that, uh! I didn't mean—! I, uh—"

"And people say I have no tact." Liv took my chin and made me look at her instead of at Susie freaking out, and even though Liv didn't do eye contact, she did it right now. "What Susie means is that she's bad at saying that and probably won't for a while, but she really cares a lot about you. As for me..." She looked away and bit her thumbnail while she stared up at the ceiling. "Well, I'm definitely not in love with you. That's not gonna happen." I nodded. We'd established that one. "But I think that I do love you. And if I don't yet, if things keep going like they're going, I think I will." She smiled at me. It was one of her on-purpose smiles. She sucked so hard at that, but she only ever did it when she really wanted people to know she meant it.

...fuck, I was crying again.

"Hang on, don't hug me yet." I wasn't going to, but it made sense that Liv thought I was. And I really fucking wanted to. "Susanna, let me—thank you." Susie tossed Liv her hoodie and Liv sort of threw it over one shoulder, then pulled me into a hug herself, resting my chin on the hoodie. She held me and she rubbed my back, and she hummed in my ear. "I don't want to get your snot on me. But I do want to hug you. And I think you could use it." I sobbed and hiccuped like a fucking goober, but they both hurt way less now.

After a few seconds, I felt Susie wrap her arms around both of us, taller than us for once in her fucking life since she was standing and we were sitting. I imagined her towering over us and cackling and I couldn't stop myself from laughing again. That hurt less too though.

I laughed more at my own dumb thoughts a second later: Even if I did catch the hiccups for 69 years, it'd still be nice if I had these girls around me. Fuck, someday I'd tell Susie that joke and she'd throw the nearest fucking object at my head and it'd be so fucking funny.

Not now though. Now with those two holding me, shit was just perfect.

[mademoisellekalopsia]

Day 24: Nothing but Silent Hitches

[mademoisellekalopsia]

Day 23: Pirates Play

[mademoisellekalopsia]

Day 21: Case Coded

|| CONTENT WARNING || Day prompt based on a Fandom Artificial Intelligence Hiccups Hints of teasing Presence of an obnoxious character Implications of internal panic Mentions of frustration

The vibrant corridors were at a dim cast of light than the usually well-lit glow that the jester took note of. They have just woken up from a nap. Well, it is more so of deep pondering about their new life and recent events being in a virtual world and with an excruciatingly mad host that is keeping the said "world" meaning new home together. Can life throw any more curveballs whilst its at it?

The jester rubbed their eyes, making their way to the center of the tent they reside in for "forever" it seems like. Until they were unexpectedly teleported to a different area in the tent.

"Gah! Wuh…?" It left them in a slight woozy state. A hand on their head as they process what had happened.

"What just-," then, their words got cut off, when they heard a sudden yell out of nowhere near them.

"OH-****!" The triangle-shaped head hissed sharply at their fall, a frustrated look in their eyes. They turn to see the jester who was confused and felt the need to be concerned and question about what had happened to the both of them.

"What's going on exactly?" The jester asked with concern, their back slouched a bit and eyes seeking for an answer.

The triangle-shaped head slowly stood upright and spoke in a low and annoyed tone after a grunt, "Apparently, HE'S what's going on." they pointed over from afar.

They looked over to the host floating near the stage with a few of the other individuals, seemingly trying to talk about something while also hiding from him. The jester then noticed the host twitched in a jolt action, making the map glitch a bit out of place. Something is going on, alright.

Once the host was gone in a cloud, the jester and triangle-shaped head made their way to the others. A raggedy plush waved over to them, immediately greeting and checking them making sure they are not harshly affected from a current problem at hand.

"Hey, you two! Oh, I'm glad that you're alright." The raggedy plush spoke to the triangle-shaped head with a mellow, heartfelt tone of concern in their voice.

The jester then shot a question, "Has something happened?" They felt the need to ask as they stood their with a weary, yet confuzzled look.

The raggedy plush and a king piece looked at each other, before the place rumbled a quick second, leaving the group in a state of shock but no panic, or perhaps there is, internal-wise. The raggedy plush decided on explaining.

"Well, it's just a minor inconvenience. Don't worry though, he'll be able to fix it as soon as possible. I hope." By he, they mean the host. "But just so you know, do be careful whenever you're around him."

The raggedy plush ended with an advice. It left the jester curious to ask more.

"Why do you say that?" The jester spoke until shifting their head to another voice from the group.

"Because, you will be subject to a different kind of fun." With a sly, shut grin, an obnoxious rabbit stood with their arms crossed.

"Not helping!" The raggedy plush shook their head in disapproval to their reply.

The jester raised a brow before turning their attention to the triangle-shaped head. "He just have a case of the hiccups, technologically-speaking."

"What?" The jester plainly questioned in confusion and curiosity. But mostly confusion.

How does that work and make any sense exactly? And how did it all started? If one were to incorporate artificial intelligence having a case, it would involve something in their system unit like a malfunction in their coding or a foreign anonymity might have breached and entered into their functions.

"He's a bit aware of it, given that the whole tent is affected, not to mention, it might also not end well for us." The raggedy plush told the jester.

"Yeah, like how they were teleported out of nowhere earlier." The obnoxious rabbit spoke and emphasized, a thumb pointing over to the triangle-shaped head who gave a pissed off look at them.

"Wait until it's your turn!" They scowled back at the rabbit.

What has been given resorts to being similar to the natural involuntary action a human normally experience. If an artificial intelligent were to have it, it may or may not differ and stray away from that of a human body.

Precaution is taken in all seriousness for this matter. The jester figured that when the host hitched, it affects the place to change and individuals to teleport to some place different.

But that is only one result, possible there may be more, and the jester along with the others do not want to know half of it.

"As long as we keep our distance from him, I think we'll be okay." The raggedy plush tried to offer some reassurance to them all.

Suddenly, the tent shook side to side, a quick change of the place made the group hide anywhere that is safe, not wanting to deal with this nonsense.

The jester slightly hyperventilated as they hid, a hand on their chest to calm themselves down. Most of them, then, checked the place with hesitation once the shaking subsided.

"Is everyone alright?" The raggedy plush asked, the others nodding and showing themselves.

"Are you good over there?" Then they asked the king piece who gave a thumbs up in return.

Until another rumble shook the tent. The items and blocks floated shifting in places.

One of the items affected was the king piece's pillow fortress, which they took notice immediately and screamed, "AAH!" concerned for their safe pillow igloo that has disappeared.

Another rumble rose, it made the place shake and shift randomly. That case of his sure is active. Unfortunately, it teleported Ribbons and Triangle-shaped head to the stage rather than the floor.

"Oh my goodness!" The raggedy plush called out to them, checking and making sure if they were fine.

"We're okay…" Ribbons spoke with a wince at their fall.

The obnoxious rabbit chuckled. "That fall was comical, Ribbons! Do it again." Their grin grew in amusement. How could they find humor to that mishap?

With the third wave though, the obnoxious rabbit fell in a black hole that opened underneath them, sending them to fall on top of a floating block. They grunted, face planted on the cube. The two who were at the stage watched it happened, looking at each other.

"Eh, serves them right." The triangle-shaped head commented with no regret.

"Guh! When will this be over?" The obnoxious rabbit spoke in frustration and attitude as they sat on the edge of the floating block with their arms crossed, not happy about this inconvenience.

"We'll just have to wait!" The raggedy plush replied in return, ignoring the murmuring of irritation from the rabbit.

A few more of the earthquakes and changing of the map, it was in a rapid succession. The group figured that it must be quite a stubborn case the host has. They were all completely done with this. The group just want it to be over already. And if that thought was going to happen sooner than later, the host just had to add up to the internal panic and longing of rest as he made his presence known with the group after a long while. In a rushed and iconic host tone, they spoke with the accompanied sounds of the case that is somewhat similar to a human's sounds.

"Hello! my HUCK!-lucky stars-" The host exclaimed with glee.

They all called him out of his name in unison. Then the rabbit spoke. Their voice echoed faintly from above, still stuck on the same floating block.

"Uuugh! No luck with that? Could you please hurry it up! I've been up here for ages!" The rabbit dragged their groan, complaining as they looked down at the host.

"My-my, you should've called me!" The host snapped their fingers to return the way things are back to normal.

But they let out another hitch again, snapping their fingers once more. It happened again and again, until is was a quick cycle.

They all called out to the host again, making him stop in his tracks as he realized his distracted-self. He spoke. "Oh, my bad! HIRK!-RR'Rrr!" It comes out in a fuzzy static.

The tent shook with intensity, glitching a bit, now that the one with the case was at close proximity.

"UH! Do you have something to tell us?! The raggedy plush called out as they hid behind a couch.

The host looked at them. Not them thinking about it, floating mid-air for a few moments on why they were there instead of managing to resolve his case.

The host's eyes shifted to walled, a bright tone on their voice as they held their finger up.

"Ah-ha! Yes, of course. Now I remember why I'm here!" He said with a delightful tone. They all looked at him, anticipating provision of some good news about this matter.

"I still have them." The host said in a defeated and nonchalant tone, back slouching and hands fall to the side.

The group groaned in unison at the end, thinking that this particular episode is accompanied with a case and its about to go crazy or rather, it had already been crazy. It will be quite a long day as the group hid and scattered. This adventure was uncalled for.

[mademoisellekalopsia]

Day 13: Working-in-Progress Nuzzles