#Hermit Hut Records

[edwardian-girl-next-door]

Feast Days: Martinmas

Anthony Van Dyck ~ "St. Martin Dividing His Cloak" (c.1618)

Happy Martinmas!

Today marks the feast day of St. Martin of Tours, who was bishop there from 371 CE until his death in 397 CE. He is the patron saint of many things, including: against poverty, against alcoholism, the poor, cavalry, Buenos Aires, quartermasters, wool-weavers, soldiers, and tailors, as well as wine growers, makers, and sellers. Whew! He must be very busy.

Keep reading for info about his life, a snitch goose, where the word 'chapel' came from, and how to tell what the weather will be like at Christmas.

His Life

Much of what we know about Martin comes from his hagiographer, Sulpicius Severus, who includes some 'artistic license' that is common in chronicles of the time, and therefore must be taken with a grain of salt.

Martin was born anywhere from 316-336 CE in Savaria, now Szombathely, Hungary. His father was a senior officer in the Roman Army, and as such was given land in northern Italy for his retirement. At the age of 10, Martin attended a Christian church against the wishes of his parents, and became interested in Christianity. Because of his father's status as a veteran, he was required to join the cavalry at 15. Dates surrounding his military service are shaky, but Severus states that, during his time stationed in Gaul, he was riding on horseback when he encountered a poor man with threadbare clothes. Having compassion on him, Martin used his sword to cut his own woolen cloak in two and gave the other half to the man. That night, Jesus Christ appeared to him in a dream, surrounded with angels and wearing half of the cloak. After this, Martin was baptised as a Christian. Though other miracles of his are recorded, this tale is the one most associated with Martin's life. It fits in with depictions of God or his angels in disguise as a beggar, traveller, &c., and is also a narrative found in many other religions and traditions. (Biblical examples include Abraham feeding the three angels in Genesis 18).

Martin dips from the army ~ fresco by Simone Martini (c.1320s)

With his new faith now firmly a part of his life, Martin decided to leave the army. Before a battle near modern-day Worms, Germany, Martin went before Emperor Julian and refused his salary, saying, "I am the soldier of Christ: it is not lawful for me to fight." They threw him in prison for this, but due to ye olde extenuating circumstances, he was released and discharged without further incident.

Martin made his way to modern-day Tours in France and declared himself a hermit, becoming a disciple and friend of Hilary of Tours. Because Christianity was Not OK™ in the Roman Empire, he and Hilary faced a lot of discrimination, including corporal punishment and exile. After converting his mother to Christianity and having numerous adventures, like living pretty much alone on an island, he and Hilary settled down in and around Poitiers, where Martin established Ligugé Abbey. It is the oldest known monastery in Europe! Martin made it his home base while he preached throughout western Gaul.

In 371 CE, the bishop of Tours died, and Martin was considered a good candidate for a successor. However, he liked living as a hermit and monk, and they resorted to tricking him into coming to Tours and then forced him to become the bishop. Legend holds that he tried to hide in a barn, but a honking goose gave him away. Hence he is the patron saint of geese, which I think is adorable. Martin proved true to his hermit ways, living very simply in huts with his monks. He established a rudimentary parish system, through which he visited different Christian communities and established monasteries. He was very determined in his efforts to convert local Pagans, as well as protect Christian institutions from unfriendly sects in the area, and in some cases he was successful. He died in 371 CE, already a venerated man. His popularity was ensured by his adoption by various French royals and by the Third Republic as a national symbol.

Martin has been portrayed by several famous artists, including Van Dyck, Peter Bruegel the Elder, and El Greco. He is usually portrayed on horseback, dividing his cloak for the poor man, though occasionally he can be seen riding a donkey. This references another story in his life about the time where he met the Devil and outwitted him. It also connects him to the image of Jesus riding a donkey into Jerusalem (recounted in Mark 1:1-11).

Martinmas and its Traditions

Martin lent his legacy to a host of English words and phrases, including those relating to the word 'chapel'. Temporary buildings that held the relic of his cloak (cappa in Latin) were referred to as cappella, and hence the word 'chapel' was born. A similar thing happened to the word 'chaplain', which derived from the word for the priest in charge of the cloak.

Though the Anglo-Saxon church did celebrate St. Martin to some extent, more references to Martinmas celebrations begin to crop up after Norman Conquest of 1066, when the Frenchman William the Conqueror invaded England. Supposedly, he promised to build an abbey dedicated to Martin if his invasion of England was successful. William was very likely familiar with the early Mediaeval association of the battle-hungry rulers of France with St. Martin, and was possibly responsible for his increased popularity in England.

In England and Scotland, and indeed through much of western Europe, Martinmas became a celebration marking the culmination of the harvest and the beginning of winter. From the late fourth century through the late Middle Ages, it also served a similar purpose to Mardi Gras/Carnivale: a period of fasting was ordained for the day after Martinmas through Christmas, so Martinmas was your last chance to stuff your face for a long time! (This period later became Advent, though with much laxer rules). As such, it was a time for feasting, celebration, bonfires, getting really drunk, and even events such as bull-running, as in Stamford, Lincolnshire. It was also a time for the end-of-harvest tasks, such as sowing winter wheat and slaughtering pigs and cattle. An old English saying goes, "His Martinmas will come, as it does to every hog", meaning, "they will get their comeuppance" or "everyone dies someday". Due to Martin's association with geese, some celebrated with a roast goose, but in Britain particularly it was also popular to eat salted pork or beef. For those not rich enough to have a goose, a duck or hen would also suffice. Other traditional fare included black pudding, haggis, and the first wine of the season.

On the business side of things, Martinmas served as a quarter day in Scotland and in parts England. A quarter day was one of four days on which major legal business was conducted. Servants and labourers would be hired or let go, rent was paid, contracts would begin or end, &c. Hiring fairs would be held for agricultural labourers seeking employment, and there would also be entertainment, food, trading, and other scenes of merriment. One of the most famous Martinmas fairs was at Nottingham in England, which lasted eight days.

Like many other English holidays, there is weather folklore associated with Martinmas. To have a warm fall and winter is to have a "St. Martin's Summer". If Martinmas proves an icy day, Christmas (or the rest of the winter) will be very warm. The rhyme puts it more pithily: "If the geese at Martin's Day stand on ice, they will walk in mud at Christmas".

If you stand at the back of the church and observe the congregation on Martinmas, those with a halo of light around their heads will not be alive by next Martinmas.

Interior of St. Martin-in-the-Fields, with a funky window!

The church of St. Martin-in-the-fields in Trafalgar Square in London is named after Martin. Many people commemorated there are associated with his anti-war sentiments -- these include Vera Brittain, a memoirist and pacifist; and Dick Sheppard, founder of the Peace Pledge Union. The church also supports houseless and vulnerably housed people.

The holiday gradually fell out of practice due to the English Reformation (when England split from the Catholic Church throughout the 1500s) and the Interregnum (Puritan republican government, 1649-1660). The observance of Armistice Day on the same day largely overshadowed the holiday in the UK, though many regions in Western Europe still take part in traditional festivities.

Martinmas is celebrated on 12 October in the Eastern Orthodox Church.

If You're Still Interested...

"The Life of St. Martin" by Sulpicius Severus himself! (pdf)

Pot Roast Martimas Beef Recipe by Chatsworth House

Sources

Historic UK

Wikipedia (Martin of Tours)

Wikipedia (St. Martin's Day)

Fisheaters.com

The Encyclopedia of Saints by Rosemary Ellen Guiley

"Medieval English "Martinmesse": The Archaeology of a Forgotten Festival" by Martin Walsh (via jstor)

[passengerpigeons]

So back in the day i followed someone who was posting about how this gay porno called The Drifter had a really good soundtrack but there wasn't an official release. This was one of the songs she ripped where she could filter out most noise besides some rain and stuff i think.

anyway this song from an obscure gay porn is the song that got me into six organs

[silvestromedia]

SAINTS FOR FEBRUARY 09

ST. APOLLONIA, VIRGIN AND MARTYR OF ALEXANDRIA, EGYPT-Highly regarded for her courage and integrity, she was captured in 249, when she was already an elderly woman, during the fierce persecutions of the 3rd century in Egypt. Refusing to deny the faith, she was tortured by having her teeth torn out, and was finally burnt alive.

St. Eingan, 6th century. Welsh prince and hermit, also called Anianus, Einon, and Eneon. He came from Cumberland, in Wales, the son of a chieftain. Eingan had a hermitage built at Llanengan, near Bangor.

St. Teilo, 6th century. Welsh bishop, also called Eliud, Issell, Teillo, Teilou, Dub, and Theliau. A native of Penally, Pembrokshire, Wales, he studied under Sts. Dyfrig and Dubricius. He accompanied the famed St. David of Wales to Jerusalem and was a friend and assistant to St. Samson in Brittany, France, for seven years. Returning to Wales in 554, he was quite successful as a preacher and founded and served as abbot-bishop of Llandaff monastery in Dyfed, Wales. He was buried in Llandaff Cathedral.

St. Alto, 760 A.D. Hermit and missionary, recorded as an Irishmen or possibly an Anglo-Saxon. He lived near Augsburg, Germany, arriving in the region circa 743. Living in a simple hut in wild lands, Alto soon achieved a reputation for holiness and austerity. Word of his good works reached King Pepin, who gave him a parcel of land near Altmunster, in modern Friesling Diocese in Bavaria. Alto Alto soon achieved a reputation for holiness and austerity. Word of his good works reached King Pepin, who gave him a parcel of land near Altmunster, in modern Friesling Diocese in Bavaria. Alto cleared the land and founded an abbey. St. Boniface came in 750 to dedicate the abbey church. The monastery was ravaged by the Huns but was restored in 1000 and made a Benedictine house. The Brigittines took it over in the fifteenth century.

St. Cronan the Wise, 8th century. A bishop of Ireland, possibly identified with St. Roman He systematized canon law in Ireland.

St. Cuaran, 700 A.D. An Irish bishop also called Curvinus or Cronan. He became a hermit on Iona, Scotland, after retiring as bishop, hoping to conceal his identity. St. Columba, however, recognized Cuaran.

Bl. Anne Catherine Emmerick, Roman Catholic Augustinian Canoness Regular of Windesheim. Her convent was suppressed by Napoleon, who controlled the region. Soon afterward, she fell ill, and spent her remaining years bedridden. In this state of suffering, she received numerous visions, private revelations, and the mystical gift of the stigmata. Feb. 9

[devianbooks]

Download Now Star Wars: Obi-Wan - A Jedi's Purpose BY : Christopher Cantwell

(PDF Download) Star Wars: Obi-Wan - A Jedi's Purpose By Christopher Cantwell     Ebook PDF Star Wars: Obi-Wan - A Jedi's Purpose | EBOOK ONLINE DOWNLOADIf you want to download free Ebook, you are in the right place to download Ebook. Ebook/PDF Star Wars: Obi-Wan - A Jedi's Purpose DOWNLOAD in English is available for free here, Click on the download LINK below to download Ebook After You 2020 PDF Download in English by Jojo Moyes (Author).   Download Link : [Downlload Now] Star Wars: Obi-Wan - A Jedi's Purpose   Read More : [Read Now] Star Wars: Obi-Wan - A Jedi's Purpose   Description Fast approaches the ultimate destiny of one of the Jedi?s most renowned masters! As Obi-Wan Kenobi spends his final days in the remote deserts of Tatooine, he takes time to reflect on ? and record ? key moments from his long and heroic life. Writing in old leather-bound journals from his hermit?s hut, Obi-Wan remembers his days as a young Jedi Initiate, his trials as a Padawan, the crucible of Jedi Knighthood and the Clone Wars, and some of the earliest challenges he faced as a true Master of the Force! And a watershed adventure on Coruscant, which he narrowly survived when he was but eight years of age, was just the beginning of Obi-Wan?s incredible Jedi journey?COLLECTING:?Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022) 1-5

[bandcampsnoop]

2/24/21.

Glenn Donaldson has been getting a lot of attention for his work as The Reds, Pinks and Purples, and rightfully so.  But, Donovan Quinn was just as important to the Skygreen Leopards and he deserves more attention.

Quinn has some amazing solo work that we’ve highlighted, but another project of his, New Bums, is releasing a new LP via Drag City next March.  His partner here is Ben Chasny (Six Organs of Admittance), and they create melodic, stripped back, acoustic music.  To me, this is reminiscent of some of David Kilgour’s solo work (listen to “Tuned to Grafitti”).

I know Donovan Quinn is from the Bay Area in California.  As far as I can tell, Chasny is also from California (he runs Hermit Hut Records), but exactly where is a mystery (to me at least)

[hmshermitcraft]

I know the theme changed hut my brain is on murder-

When Grian joined the server, he was afraid of what people would think of him. His record was part of the admission process, surely they would be wary due to his past crimes... right?

Well, as it turns out, the hermits only really care about each other, and when they find out about the circumstances surrounding his crimes, they make it their mission to bring Sam's head back on a platter for their little birdie.

Though Grian mentioned never wanting to see Sam again so they quietly planned his murder so no one will ever find Sam’s body ever

[nerdythebard]

#31: Baba Yaga, Witch of the Woods

Well, would you look at that @clantan, it was her time anyway.

If you go down to the woods today, you won't be meeting any bears. Instead, you may find skulls on spikes, glowing with an eerie light, and the walking hut of Baba Yaga, the most famous of Slavic witches. Oh, I could spend an entire post explaining why I love this character, but we wouldn't have time for the build. So, sit back and enjoy, darlings!

Next Time: When the crypt doors creak, and the tombstones quake... a certain gentleman comes to play at your wake!

Now, what do we need to make this cauldron bubble:

Chaotic Witchcraft: Yaga is an unpredictable force of nature. She might be benevolent one moment and hindering at another. Her magic reflects that.

Witch's Brewery: Baba Yaga mixes potions with a variety of effects. Time to play a brewer.

Don't be a Chicken: One of the most recognizable items is Baba Yaga's Dancing Hut. We won't be making the colossal mobile fortress (just like we didn't make the TARDIS), but we will play with the smaller, assistant-like version.

---

Before we start, I must inform you that Baba Yaga's Mortar and Pestle were added to D&D in Tasha's Cauldron of Everything, so if you want to play as the Witch, make sure to get these ASAP.

Now, Baba is not a human. In the stories, she's ranging from a goddess to a nature spirit. We have hags in D&D, and the closest playable race to these are Hexblood from Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft. This changes our creature type to Fey, gives us a +2 and +1 to two abilities of our choice (Intelligence and Charisma), two skill proficiencies (Arcana and Deception), 60 feet of Darkvision, and the Eerie Token feature, which allows us to remove a lock of our hair, a nail, a tooth, or an eye and imbue it with hag magic. Doing so gives us access to telepathic communication with whoever holds the token, or remote viewing of the area where the token is placed. We also get Hex Magic, which lets us cast the Disguise Self and Hex spells once per long rest.

Living alone in the woods, with nothing but animals and an animated shack, makes Baba Yaga a Hermit. This gives us proficiency in Medicine and Religion skills, proficiency with herbalism kit, and one language of our choice. The Hermit's feature is called Discovery: you know a powerful secret, something forgotten to time. You need to work with your DM on the exact nature of this secret. Perhaps it's the location of Yaga's Mortar and Pestle, or her Dancing Hut? Or the way to brew a powerful potion, but you need to go adventuring to gather the ingredients? This is a flexible feature, as it can be easily worked into the campaign.

ABILITY SCORES

We'll start with Wisdom. We are the mysterious old lady who lives in the woods, our whole shtick is wisdom. Charisma is next, manipulation, persuasion, and trickery require a big dose of that. Intelligence follows, arcane secrets and how to handle dark magic requires a pretty big brain.

Dexterity will be next, followed by Constitution. We are, after all, a frail old lady. Finally, we'll be dumping Strength; why lift anything yourself if you have magic?

CLASS

Level 1 - Artificer: We start with the class that deals in magic items. Artificers start with a d8 Hit Dice, [8 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points, proficiency with light armour, medium armour, shields, simple weapons (and, optionally, firearms), thieves' tools, tinker's tools, and one type of artisan's tools (how about Brewer's Supplies?). Until we get some better stuff, let's get studded leather armour and some daggers. And maybe a quarterstaff. Our saving throws are Constitution and Intelligence, and we get to pick two class skills (History and Nature).

Thanks to Magical Tinkering, Artificers can infuse minor magical abilities into Tiny objects. As an action, we can give one of the following properties to one object:

The object sheds bright light in a 5-foot radius and dim light for another 5

The object can emit a pre-recorded message that can be heard in a 10-foot radius

The object can emit a smell or a non-verbal sound.

A visual effect (a colour, a marking, lines of text, etc.) appears on the object's surface

Artificers also gain access to Spellcasting. Intelligence is our casting ability and can do cantrips and regular spells. Each day we can prepare [our Intelligence modifier + half of our Artificer level rounded down] spells. We start with two cantrips:

Fire Bolt is one of the strongest damage-dealing cantrips. We hurl a mote of fire at one target within 120 feet. On a successful hit, the target takes 1d10 fire damage (damage increases as we level up).

Guidance is something every helpful witch needs. We touch one creature and for 1 minute (concentration), before the spell ends, the target can roll one extra d4 to one ability check of their choice. The spell then ends.

We also get two 1st-level spell slots and we know two 1st-level spells:

Cure Wounds restores [1d8 + our casting modifier] Hit Points to one creature we touch. It doesn't work on constructs or the undead.

Feather Fall is a reaction spell that lets us slow down the falling of us and up to five creatures. The rate of descent slows to 60 feet per round. If we hit the ground before the spell ends (1 minute), we take no falling damage.

Level 2 - Artificer: This time, we get the Artificer's speciality: Infuse Item. With this, we can perform some high-class tinkering and provide items for our party, like a real trickster witch! We start by selecting two Infusions (and we can have up to 2 Infused Items on ourselves at once):

Replicate Magic Item: Bag of Holding is one of the most useful Infusions in the early game. The Bag is a great way to carry loot and items... just be careful of the Bagman...

Mind Sharpener is a tool embedded into a robe or a suit of armour that helps to maintain concentration. With 4 charges (1d4 recharge at dawn), whenever the wearer fails a Constitution saving throw to keep up concentration, they can succeed instead.

We also get another 1st-level spell: Faerie Fire marks every object within a 20-foot cube with bright, colourful light of our choice (creatures must make a Dexterity saving throw to avoid it). For the duration (1 minute), the marked creatures and objects cannot benefit from invisibility, they shed dim light in a 10-foot radius, and attacks made against them are made with an advantage.

Level 3 - Artificer: Thanks to Right Tool For The Job, we can now spend 1 hour and create any sort of artisan's tools available, as long as we have thieves' tools or another set of artisan's tools on us.

We also get to pick our subclass, our Artificer Specialization. For brewing potent potions and wicked brews, we have to go with the Alchemist here. To start off, we gain proficiency with alchemist's supplies, and we have a bunch of extra spells that are always prepared and don't count against the total number of spells we can prepare:

Healing Word restores [1d4 + our casting modifier] Hit Points to a creature we can see within 60 feet. It doesn't work on undead and constructs.

Ray of Sickness strikes one creature within 60 feet of us, dealing 2d8 poison damage (damage increase by 1d8 per each spell slot above 2nd). The target must also make a Constitution saving throw or be poisoned until the end of our next turn.

Finally, Alchemist Artificers get Experimental Elixir; whenever we finish a long rest, we can produce an elixir in an empty flask. We roll a d6 to determine what kind of potion it is (healing, swiftness, flight, etc. For more chaotic flavour I do recommend rolling for potion type) and it lasts until drunk or until our next long rest. At level 6 we can create two potions (each requiring its own empty flask) and at level 15 - three.

Level 4 - Artificer: Time for our first Ability Score Improvement! We're actually going to bump up our Constitution a little bit, to get better Hit Points in the future.

We can also get one more 1st-level spell: Catapult lets us yeet one object that's not carried or worn (weighing up to 5 pounds). The chosen object flies in a straight line up to 90 feet in the direction we decide before falling to the ground. If we're to strike a creature with it, they can make a Dexterity saving throw, or take 3d8 bludgeoning damage.

Level 5 - Sorcerer: You know where we're going with this, don't you? Time for some more magic. Multiclassing into Sorcerer doesn't give us any new proficiencies, but it opens the way to some new spellcasting options. Sorcerers learn a fixed number of spells, so we start off with four cantrips (Friends, Control Flames, Gust, and Message) and we know two more 1st-level spells:

Acid Stream causes a 30 x 5 line of acid to appear. Each creature within the line, must make a Dexterity saving throw or be covered in acid until the spell ends (1 minute, concentration) or they wash it off. Covered creatures take 3d4 acid damage at the start of their turn.

Chaos Bolt hurls a mess of chaotic energy at one target within 120 feet. On a successful hit, the target suffers [2d8 + 1d6] damage, the type of which is determined by a d8 roll.

Sorcerers get their subclass, their Sorcerous Origin at level 1. Once again, nobody is surprised we're picking the most chaotic (and fun) type and going with Wild Magic. Starting with Wild Magic Surge, which happens whenever we cast any Sorcerer spell. Immediately after casting a spell, we roll a d20; if it lands on a 1, we trigger a chaotic magic effect, as described in the Wild Magic chart (feel free to add your own suggestions to balance things out). Thanks to Tides of Chaos, we manipulate the forces of change to gain an advantage on one attack roll, ability check or saving throw once per long rest. If we choose to do this more than once per long rest, we must roll for Wild Magic Surge.

Level 6 - Sorcerer: With Font of Magic, we start accumulating Sorcery Points that are used to fuel some of our abilities. We can also convert Sorcery Points into spell slots and the other way around.

We also get another 1st-level spell: Witch Bolt causes crackling energy to connect us to one target within 30 feet of us. On the initial successful hit, the target suffers 1d12 lightning damage. On subsequent turns, we can use our Action to activate the spell again, making the target take another 1d12 lightning damage. We can do this until the spell ends (1 minute, concentration).

Level 7 - Sorcerer: We unlock Metamagic. We can now spend our Sorcery Points to "edit" our spells in some ways. We start with two Metamagic options:

Quickened Spell: Spending 2 Sorcery Points lets us shorten the time of casting from Action to Bonus Action.

Twinned Spell: Spending a number of Sorcery Points equal to a spell's level let us target another creature with the spell (it must be a single spell, though, so no additional target for Magic Missile, but one more target to heal with Cure Wounds).

We finally unlock 2nd-level spell! Blindness/Deafness forces one target within 30 feet of us to make a Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, they are either blinded or deafened for 1 minute.

Level 8 - Sorcerer: Finally, another ASI! Let's raise our Wisdom and Charisma by 1. We also get to pick a new cantrip: Frostbite causes a layer of frost to appear on a single target within 60 feet that failed its Constitution saving throw, dealing 1d6 cold damage (damage increases as we level up) and forcing a disadvantage on their next weapon attack roll.

One more 2nd-level spell, too: Mirror Image creates three illusory duplicates surrounding us for 1 minute. They move with us and mimic our actions. While the spell is active, whenever we're attacked, we can roll a d20 to avoid damage (if we have all three duplicates, it's 6 or higher; if we have two, it's 8; if we have only one, it's 11 or higher). The duplicates' AC is [10 + our Dexterity modifier].

Lever 9 - Sorcerer: We don't get any new features here, but we do unlock 3rd-level spells. Dispel Magic immediately ends one magical effect of level 3 or lower within 120 feet of us. If a spell is considered 4th-level or higher, we must make an ability check using our casting ability against DC [10 + the spell's level]. If we use a spell slot of level 4 or higher to cast this, we end the spell immediately as long as the spell slot matches the spell level (e.g. cast as 5th level to end a 5th-level spell).

Level 10 - Sorcerer: Halfway through the build, and we get another subclass feature. With Bend Luck, we can use our chaos magic to influence fate. When another creature that we see makes an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw, we can spend 2 Sorcery Points to provide a 1d4 benefit or penalty (our choice). We must do this before the result of the roll is announced.

We also get another 3rd-level spell: Clairvoyance lets us put an invisible sensor (visual or auditory) at a location we have seen or been to before. For up to 10 minutes (concentration), we can tap into that sensor to see or hear what's currently happening in that location.

Level 11 - Artificer: Coming back to the magic item hoarder, we're getting an Alchemist's feature: Alchemical Savant. Whenever we cast a spell using our alchemist focus, we gain a bonus to one spell roll. That roll must either restore Hit Points, or deal acid, fire, necrotic, or poison damage. The bonus equals [our Intelligence modifier + 1].

We also get two spells from our subclass:

Flaming Sphere creates a large ball of fire that lasts up to 1 minute (concentration). Any creature finding itself within 5 feet of the sphere must make a Dexterity saving throw or take 2d6 fire damage. As a bonus action, we can move the sphere up to 30 feet in any direction we can see.

Melf's Acid Arrow fires a shimmering green projectile at one target within 90 feet of us. On a successful hit, the target takes 4d4 acid damage immediately and 2d4 acid damage at the end of its next turn. On a miss, the arrow splashes acid at the target for half initial damage and no next-turn damage.

Level 12 - Artificer: Thanks to Tool Expertise, our proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check we make using our tools and supplies. We also learn another 2nd-level spell: Arcane Lock prevents people from helping themselves to our cache of items, by placing an enchanted lock on one container (or door, window, etc.). We can set a password that suppresses the spell for one minute.

Additionally, we can carry one more infused item (for a total of 3) and we learn two more Infusions:

Boots of the Winding Path turn an ordinary pair of boots into ones that grant the ability to teleport up to 15 feet into an unoccupied space as a bonus action.

Replicate Magic Item: Pipes of Haunting creates a set of pipes with 3 charges. As an action, we can spend 1 change and play a terrifying tune. Each creature within 30 feet must make a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or become frightened for 1 minute. We can also choose for any creature that's non-hostile towards us to automatically succeed on a save. The pipes regain 1d3 charges at dawn.

Level 13 - Artificer: We're granted a Flash of Genius, which lets us come up with solutions to problems under pressure. When a creature within 30 feet of us makes an ability check or a saving throw, we can use our reaction to add our Intelligence modifier to their roll (AKA activate the Backseat Gamer Mode). We can use this feature [our Intelligence modifier] times per long rest.

Level 14 - Artificer: It's time for another ASI! We put one point into Intelligence and start to finally get some more durability by putting one point into Constitution. Thanks to our Intelligence boost, we can pick two 2nd-level spells:

Magic Weapon gives one weapon of our choice a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls for up to 1 hour (concentration). The weapon also counts as magical for the purpose of overcoming resistances and immunities.

Enlarge/Reduce does exactly what it says on the packaging. A creature (or an object) within 30 feet of us must make a Constitution saving throw or become bigger or smaller for up to 1 minute (concentration). It sounds like an odd choice for a spell but don't worry, it'll make sense soon...

Level 15 - Artificer: We get another Alchemist feature here. With Restorative Reagents, we can now incorporate healing elements into our stuff. Whenever a creature drinks our Experimental Elixir, they gain Temporary Hit Points equal to [2d6 + our Intelligence modifier]. We can also cast the Lesser Restoration spell without burning a spell slot, but we have to use alchemist's supplies as a spellcasting focus.

We also unlock 3rd-level spells and gain two from our subclass list:

Gaseous Form transforms one willing creature we touch (our ourselves) into a billowing cloud of mist for 1 hour (concentration). The target gains a flying speed of 10 feet but is unable to attack or interact with anything. They can fit through an opening as small as 1 inch in diameter, have resistance to non-magical damage and an advantage on Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution saving throws.

Mass Healing Word restores [1d4 + our casting ability] Hit Points for up to six creatures (besides undead and constructs) within 60 feet of us. Using higher spell slot increases healing by 1d4.

Level 16 - Artificer: We expand our magical item crafting capabilities with Magic Item Adept. We can now attune to four magic items at once (instead of usual three), and whenever we craft a common or uncommon magic item, we do so in a quarter of the usual time and with half of the cost.

We get to pick two more Infusions and use one more Infused Item (for the total of four):

Replicate Magic Item: Headband of Intellect automatically changes our Intelligence score to 19 as long as we wear it. The score cannot be lower nor higher.

Replicate Magic Item: Ring of Mind Shielding prevents other creatures from reading our thoughts, determining whether or not we're lying, or discovering our alignment and creature type. Telepathy only works on us if we allow it.

In terms of spells, we learn one more cantrip: Spare the Dying stabilizes a creature with no Hit Points. They do not have to roll Death Saving Throws but are still unconscious. We also pick up two 3rd-level spells thanks to our Intelligence now being 19:

Revivify consumes 300 gp worth of diamonds to bring a dead creature back to life. It has to be brought back within 1 minute of death, the spell doesn't work if death came from old age, and it does not regenerate body parts.

Fly grants a willing creature we touch (or ourselves) flying speed of 10 feet for up to 10 minutes (concentration). Casting with a spell slot of level 4 or higher lets us affect one additional creature.

Level 17 - Artificer: We know learn how to craft a Spell-Storing Item. We can choose a simple or martial weapon (or one item we can use as a casting focus) and imbue it with one 1st- or 2nd-level artificer spell (we don't need to have it prepared, we can access the entire list) that requires 1 Action to cast. Another creature can then use the spell in the weapon/object a number of times equal to our Intelligence modifier.

Level 18 - Artificer: It's the final ASI of the build. We're not doing it very efficiently but as I said before, we going for representation instead of playability (plus, you can make all the changes you feel are needed). We increase our Constitution to an even number, and let's give that one lonely point to Strength (since we cannot increase Intelligence because of the Headband). It's not gonna change much.

For this level's spell... we're actually not going to learn a new one. We need to save up this spot for the next level.

Level 19 - Artificer: We unlock 4th-level spell slots. We can finally, finally get out signature friend.

TWith the Summon Construct spell from Tasha's, we can call forth a spirit takes takes a material form of a construct for up to 1 hour (concentration). Now, it is described as Medium-sized, but that's where the Enlarge/Reduce spell from before comes into play. Increase the hut's size to Large (or work things out with your DM) and you finally have the Dancing Hut at your disposal!

This level also gives us two spells from our subclass:

Blight drains moisture and vitality from one creature within 30 feet of us that failed a Constitution saving throw. The creature takes 8d8 necrotic damage (half damage on a successful save); undead and constructs are immune. If the target is a magical plant, or a plant creature, it makes the save with a disadvantage and takes the maximum amount of damage on a fail. A non-magical plant fails the save automatically and withers on the spot.

Death Ward grants a creature we touch protection from death for 8 hours. Instead of dropping to 0 Hit Points and losing consciousness, the creature instead recovers 1 Hit Point, and the spell ends. The spell also cancels the instant death effects (such as Power Word: Kill).

Level 20 - Artificer: Our capstone is Artificer 14, and we get quite a few of good features for the endgame confrontation. To start off, we can now use another Infused Item (for the total of five). We can also learn two more Infusions:

Replicate Magic Items: Amulet of Health changes our Constitution score to 19 as long as we're wearing it. It cannot be lower or higher.

Replicate Magic Items: Gem of Seeing crafts a jewel with 3 charges. As an action, we can burn 1 charge to gain 120 feet of truesight for 10 minutes. The gem regains 1d3 charges at dawn.

We gain another cantrip: Thunderclap causes a burst of thunderous sound that can be heard from 100 feet away. Each creature within 5 feet of us must make a Constitution saving throw or take 4d6 thunder damage (maximum damage increase, since it's a final level; normally, it would be 1d6 at lv. 1).

We also get another 4th-level spell: Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum wards off an area of up to 100 feet square with protection for maximum privacy. No sound can pass through the barrier, the area is protected from divination and darkvision, and nothing can teleport in or out of it. The spell lasts for 24 hours. Casting it at the same spot for a year makes it permanent.

Finally, we gain our final subclass upgrade. Magic Item Savant allows us to attune to five magic items at once, and we ignore any and all class, race, spell, or level requirements for attuning to a magic item.

---

And that's Baba Yaga, the queen of all witches. Let's see what we cooked up:

First of all, we have a large variety of damage options. Not only from chaotic Wild Magic but also from Artificer spells that deal fire, acid, thunder, cold, and psychic damage. We're also a master potion maker and we have magic items for days. We're a great support caster.

(If we decide to hoard all replicated items) Our AC is 13, we've a +1 to our Initiative and the average of 116 Hit Points.

Unfortunately, this build is pretty impractical. At level 20, we're barely scratching the 100 Hit Points surface. A lot of our spells require concentration to keep active, we have a lot of resources to manage (Sorcery Points, Infused Items, and Infusions), and our ability scores are not great unless we decide to keep the two that permanently change them to 19.

---

So, here we are. Hopefully you've enjoyed yourself on this wicked ride, and I'll see you in the next one, lovelies!

- Nerdy out!

[dispatchdcu]

Star Wars: Obi-Wan #1 Preview

Star Wars: Obi-Wan #1 Preview #starwarsobiwan #obiwan #MARVEL #marvelcomics #comics #comicbooks #news #mcu #art #info #NCBD #previews #reviews #starwars #darthvader #vader #skywalker #starwarscomics #amazon

  Star Wars: Obi-Wan #1 Preview:   Fast approaches the ultimate destiny of one of the Jedi’s most renowned masters! As he spends his final days in the remote deserts of Tatooine, Obi-Wan Kenobi takes time to reflect on — and record — key moments of a heroic life long-lived. Writing in old leather-bound journals from his hermit’s hut, Obi-Wan remembers his days as a young Jedi Initiate, his trials…

[to-many-towered-camelot]

for my fellow disabled Arthurian fans (or anyone who’s interested):

Sitting on the Sidelines: Disability in Malory by Kristina Hildebrand  - an article that isn’t as weird (or silent) as a lot of academia is on this topic

if you don’t have the time, the spoons, or the access to this article, but you still want to know what it says, read on 💛

(might go without saying, but cw for medieval, academic, and garden-variety ableism. also: i’m summarising what the author wrote so that you can make your own analyses/conclusions - please don’t take it all as my own perspective on disability/being disabled! 🙂 )

Part 1 - Introduction

in the context of the chivalric community - a.k.a. the knights who go on adventures and swing sharp objects around for funsies - disability can be regarded with the same level of trepidation as death. can’t fight = can’t be part of the community

In Malory's Le Morte Darthur, we find a sword that 'never man drew hit but he were dede or maymed.' This clearly represents the dangers of chivalric endeavor: violence done to the body, resulting in death or impairment. One might imagine that death, especially in one's sins, would be the more serious outcome, yet here there is an equivalence produced by the sentence structure, 'dede or maymed'—and indeed impairment, to a man of arms, is presented as a fate to be dreaded like death. The chivalric body, constantly endangered by violence, is yet always an active body, unimpaired and capable of committing violence, and this ability is essential to the knight’s inclusion in the chivalric community.

disability from injury was a constant threat to medieval knights, either from battle or from tournaments

archaeological and historical records show us that - while mortality rates were much higher back then - people often did survive more serious injuries, it’s just that their new disabilities were rarely described following the event (e.g. a description of a knight being injured in a tournament wouldn’t tend to follow-up on what his recovery was like)

healed injuries are more easily found, e.g. in battlefield skeletons. these were people who may have had temporarily or permanently disabling injuries, but were ultimately still able to fight

(something about prosthetics allowing some historical knights to present as able-bodied and a societal pressure to appear acceptably abled)

disability had numerous roles in the medieval mind:

Impairment was not a simple concept in the Middle Ages; the ideas of impairment as punishment for sin, as something that required physical healing, and as a spiritual benefit co-existed uneasily.

(something about a perception in the ‘lower classes’ of the disabled person as a burden, because they couldn’t work, while wealthy merchants and nobility didn’t have the same pressure re: using physical labour to make a living - with the HOWEVER being that the knightly class had the most to lose from being disabled due to the importance they placed on physical ability...something something about suicide...sigh)

knights in Malory either heal or they die after being wounded - permanent disability is rare, and not an option for important characters like Lancelot, Gawain, or Tristram

In Malory's text, as in all narratives of chivalric deeds, death is an expected and frequent outcome of knightly activities, yet we encounter few permanently impaired characters; knights either die or they heal. Knights may be temporarily impaired and forced to remain under the care of a hermit or in a monastery, but it is often made clear that the ultimate result is a return to full ability: Sir Tristram is injured in a tournament, giving his enemy a chance to imprison him, but recovers in prison; in the Grail quest, Sir Melias is injured but will be healed 'within the terme of seven wykes' —which is rather a short time for such an injury; Sir Gawain is seriously injured, yet makes a complete recovery. Especially for the most important knights—Lancelot, Tristram, Gawain—permanent impairment is unthinkable. 

temporary injury makes knights inhabit a “liminal space” of knightly ability/disability, which is supported by the trope of knights recovering in liminal spaces like monasteries and hermit huts, which are removed from knightly life 

being wounded is an essential part of being a proper knight, but it also a) prevents them from doing the activities that make them knights, and b) threatens to exclude them from the chivalric community, should they not recover fully 

(something about blood and whether being wounded is masculinising or feminising...it gets weird)

permanent disability as a threat to masculinity through infantilisation (rather than feminisation) - a disabled knight is unable to prove their masculinity in battle, and is placed on the margins of chivalric society. they move from the liminal space to the marginal space (i.e. become marginalised)

next up is a discussion of two disabled knights: Sir Urre and Pellam

[onlyinthepasttense]

talk more about bouquet thoughts please? I’m definitely kind of on the fence about them since it feels like they tried to rush into it? like in season two I have no idea why Damien and lord arum even want to be in a relationship. Damien has a crush and they’ve met only in the context of short duels. Meanwhile rilla and arum get development but rilla gets walked over by both of them in season three. I really want to like them and I just want you to share your opinion 😣

i REALLY want to like them!!!!! oh my god!!!! there’s so much about them that i feel like i should love!! ive seen amazing fanwork that i adore for them!! conceptually all signs point to ‘casper would love this ship’ but i can’t even pretend to like them, they have very little chemistry and based on what we’ve heard they are so bad for each-other!!! 

i said most of what i have to say by this point, at least afaik (my thoughts come and go as like a breeze, and my head is empty like the shell of a walnut, cracked) but i agree 100% that they really rushed the ‘relationship’. you can sense , like, Interest between damien and arum during their first few scenes together, but even that is inherently a little uncomfortable because damien wants to see something human in someone who... is not, and this is not a flaw. damien still considers being a monster a flaw in season 3, too, which belies how little the three are actually communicating. his train of thought hasn’t changed. i understand that this is a long-form narrative, and there’s still time for him to do so, but they’ve been living in the same stretch of swamp, alone with each-other for what have to be Months now and you’re telling me he still considers being a monster a curse? and the others aren’t sick of him yet? 

it’s hard to say how rilla feels and why because, like... again, both of her love interests treat her like a doormat-- they rub all of their problems off on her and she needs to help them through it. it’s not even uncommon for one party in a relationship to be more emotionally mature than any other, but every time one of them has a problem rilla needs to be the adult about it! and they never listen to her anyway! even rilla’s Positive Memory of damien (on her recorder, idr which part of tmh it was) is of her talking him down from a panic and then laughing because, idk, his emotional turmoil is just So Charming, or something. 

in the midnight hermit we don’t see much emotional conversation or connection between rilla and arum at all, just that rilla is frustrated that he won’t listen or treat her with the respect she deserves as 1. a person and 2. a medical professional, Who He Needs to solve his problem which he Will Not give her any information about or try to help her with. Oh, Also He Kidnapped Her. i’m not going to go and say this is , like, whatever syndrome or whatever, but i don’t see any kind of *~sparks~* between the two of them. even when she’s doing something nice, like singing for him, he needs to be contradictory. it’s fine if that’s his character, but it doesn’t make him, like.... Attractive. 

honestly i think that these three just need to go their separate ways. like, do some soul searching and come back to it later if they feel like they really want to, because right now only one of them is interested in communicating. being all alone out here in the swamp together doesnt seem to be helping them at all, and if they want to hang out sometimes they could teleport in through the keep anyway, so i don’t know why rilla and damien built new huts near the keep in the first place. the isolation has to be driving them crazy, considering two of them can’t seem to stand each-other. maybe they’ll come to this conclusion on their own within the story, but i don’t have high hopes. 

tl;dr: EVERYONE move out of the swamp you are destroying the shaky foundations your relationship already had

[burlveneer-music]

Wu Cloud - Pulsa Rimba - another stellar Fourth World album; stare into the distance and get lost in these gently-moving soundscapes (Slow Music Movement)

Back in the days when isolation was just for hermits & convicted psychopathic criminals, Wu Cloud was ahead of the game, waved goodbye to his life in Melbourne &, with the intention of recording his debut album, boarded a flight to Sumatra for some Wu time. With just some factor 50 sun cream, an iPad, Korg Monotron space delay & duo, an Electroharmonix 720 Loop pedal, a Zoom h2n portable recorder & a locally brought Angklung he started experimenting. 
 On his aimless travels he would park his moped & wander into dense, wildlife rich jungle at sunrise or sunset, hunker down becoming one with his surroundings & record the noise of nature's rich tapestry. An alien language, lush jungle, bustling markets, rainbow coloured birds, traffic chaos, unfeasibly large insects & chance encounters all became sound sources & inspiration. At night he learnt the ways of his new stripped down, rucksack friendly studio. Tweaking, testing, experimenting until overcome by tiredness or palm liquor. 
 With his minimal equipment freeing him from computer based production dogma & the tyranny of choice he developed a new, free flowing music production style based on instinct & feel rather than painstaking programming & over thinking. No app notifications, dishes to wash, work commitments or fixed itinerary fuelled his imagination & allowed his mind to tune into the vibrations of this volcanic island, its ancient flora, myriad fauna & human life force. 
 ‘Studio’ locations included an old writing desk in a bamboo hut, a hammock over the water, bumpy bus rides in Kerinci National Park, a stark, tiled cabin on stilts beside a raging river and numerous balmy, noisy city hotel dens with fluoro lights, ceiling fans and buzzing mosquitos in places called Kerinci, Jambi, Padang, Sungai Penuh, Medan, Bukit Lawang, Kersik Tuo, Aceh, Pulau Weh, Nias, Sorake, Iboih, Long Beach and Sumur Tiga. 
 Five weeks later, relaxed, wiser & newly self schooled in minimal music production, Wu returned to civilisation with 16 hours of  loops, jams, jungle noises & recordings of Indonesian life. Back in the studio, making sure to retain the improvised & naturally occurring essence of his recordings, he did some light trimming & fading to produce what you hear before you. 
 Hit play on this carefree, solar powered, hammock friendly, psychedelic suite of electronic exotica and let your mind wander like Wu.

[dustedmagazine]

Six Organs of Admittance — For Octavio Paz (Hermit Hut)

Photo by Elise Ambroglio

For Octavio Paz by Six Organs Of Admittance

American Primitive guitar isn’t just about guitar playing. It’s also about stories, and there’s a story that applies to this record. Glenn Jones tells it well, so if you want to hear it done right, catch his next concert and ask him to tell it. It goes like this: he and Jack Rose were chatting about For Octavio Paz. They talked about how much they liked it, and how much they wished that he would make another record like it. But they didn’t think it was going to happen, since Chasny was on record saying that he didn’t want to be locked into American Primitive guitar; Rose rejoined that that’s exactly where he wanted to be.

Time-Lag Records released the original 500-copy pressing of For Octavio Paz in 2003. It sold out in 24 hours, and while Holy Mountain subsequently reissued it on CD, it has taken until 2019 for Ben Chasny, the man behind the myriad manifestations of Six Organs of Admittance, to arrange a repressing of the record in its original format. It is not an exact reissue. The Time-Lag edition’s cover had a white on white design that was a nice idea, but kind of hard to make out. This edition opts for visibility by magnifying and colorizing the OG’s elemental images. And Chasny has remixed and remastered the music. Since aside from a few percussion and wordless vocal overdubs, this is record of acoustic guitar solos, the differences come out in the qualities of the sounds rather than the relationships between them. Chasny’s main concerns were removing the dubious influence of a guitar pedal he used as a reverb unit, which caused some phasing problems, and eliminating needlessly applied noise reduction.  It’s a chancy thing to compare an LP to some advance WAV files, but an A-B listening session reveals that the new edition has a broader frequency range that’s especially friendly to the resonance of Chasny’s low-end forays. You won’t walk away from the new edition thinking you’ve heard a new record, but you might feel like its handshake is firmer than you remembered.  

As for the music itself, this album is an outlier in the Six Organs of Admittance discography. While it concentrated implications made by earlier recordings, Chasny has made good on his plan not to invest in the American Primitive neighborhood; even when he has played solo acoustic music in subsequent years, he has not drawn on America folk forms or mysticism. Even then, the relationship was a tenuous one. There’s certainly none of Fahey’s black-hearted humor or unstoppable, syncopated bass, or much of Basho’s feverish imagination. There’s a bit of Peter Walker’s abstracted flamenco, but it’s further removed from that music’s cultural roots.  This record is more of a statement of what makes Chasny’s music his own. The brief percussive introductions to each side of the record assert the user-friendliness of his cosmic side; he may give you a glimpse of the beyond, but it’s there to bring you into the moment, not to get you lost on some spiritual quest. The rise-from-the-depths pitch trajectory of “Memory Memory Memory” and the melodic arc that the overdubbed guitars trace on “The Night Knows Nothing” both sound like things that he might have sung before he played them. And while “The Acceptance of Absolute Negation,” which takes up most of side B, twists and winds, the ways that Chasny finds to bring himself back shows that commitment to cohesion that has made his most ambitious music make sense.  

In parting, it’s easy to appreciate Glenn Jones’ yearning for more of this stuff. It’s lovely, and the trip it takes you on is unique unto itself. But one can also be grateful for just how unique it is, and even more grateful for its cat-like refusal to die.

Bill Meyer

[girlwithouthands]

Much of what we know of the life of the monks of Enlli and places like it, is inferred from the rich literature which they left behind. Their poems speak eloquently of a passionate and precise relationship with nature, and of the blend of receptivity and detachment which characterised their interactions with it. Some of the poems read like jotted lists, or field-notes: ‘Swarms of bees, beetles, soft music of the world, a gentle humming; brent geese, barnacle geese, shortly before All Hallows, music of the dark wild torrent.’ Others record single charmed instants: a blackbird calling from a gorse branch near Belfast Loch, foxes at play in a glade. Marban, a ninth-century hermit who lived in a hut in a fir-grove near Druim Rolach, wrote of the ‘wind’s voice against a branchy wood on a day of grey cloud’. A nameless monk, responsible for drystone walling on the island of North Rona in the ninth century, stopped his work to write a poem that spoke of the delight he felt at standing on a ‘clear headland’, looking over the ‘smooth strand’ to the ‘calm sea’, and hearing the calls of ‘the wondrous birds’. A tenth-century copyist, working in an island monastery, paused long enough to scribble a note in Gaelic beside his Latin text. ‘Pleasant to me is the glittering of the sun today upon these margins.’

Gleanings such as these give us glimpses of the nature of faith of the peregrini. They are recorded instants which carry purely over the long distances of history, as certain sounds carry with unusual clarity within water or across frozen land. For these writers, attention was a form of devotion and noticing continuous with worship. The art they left behind is among the earliest testimonies to a human love for the wild.

— Robert Macfarlane, “Island” The Wild Places

[silvestromedia]

SAINTS FOR FEBRUARY 09

ST. APOLLONIA, VIRGIN AND MARTYR OF ALEXANDRIA, EGYPT-Highly regarded for her courage and integrity, she was captured in 249, when she was already an elderly woman, during the fierce persecutions of the 3rd century in Egypt. Refusing to deny the faith, she was tortured by having her teeth torn out, and was finally burnt alive.

St. Eingan, 6th century. Welsh prince and hermit, also called Anianus, Einon, and Eneon. He came from Cumberland, in Wales, the son of a chieftain. Eingan had a hermitage built at Llanengan, near Bangor.

St. Teilo, 6th century. Welsh bishop, also called Eliud, Issell, Teillo, Teilou, Dub, and Theliau. A native of Penally, Pembrokshire, Wales, he studied under Sts. Dyfrig and Dubricius. He accompanied the famed St. David of Wales to Jerusalem and was a friend and assistant to St. Samson in Brittany, France, for seven years. Returning to Wales in 554, he was quite successful as a preacher and founded and served as abbot-bishop of Llandaff monastery in Dyfed, Wales. He was buried in Llandaff Cathedral.

St. Alto, 760 A.D. Hermit and missionary, recorded as an Irishmen or possibly an Anglo-Saxon. He lived near Augsburg, Germany, arriving in the region circa 743. Living in a simple hut in wild lands, Alto soon achieved a reputation for holiness and austerity. Word of his good works reached King Pepin, who gave him a parcel of land near Altmunster, in modern Friesling Diocese in Bavaria. Alto Alto soon achieved a reputation for holiness and austerity. Word of his good works reached King Pepin, who gave him a parcel of land near Altmunster, in modern Friesling Diocese in Bavaria. Alto cleared the land and founded an abbey. St. Boniface came in 750 to dedicate the abbey church. The monastery was ravaged by the Huns but was restored in 1000 and made a Benedictine house. The Brigittines took it over in the fifteenth century.

St. Cronan the Wise, 8th century. A bishop of Ireland, possibly identified with St. Roman He systematized canon law in Ireland.

St. Cuaran, 700 A.D. An Irish bishop also called Curvinus or Cronan. He became a hermit on Iona, Scotland, after retiring as bishop, hoping to conceal his identity. St. Columba, however, recognized Cuaran.

[welcometothepenumbra]

SECOND CITADEL – THE MOONLIT HERMIT (PART ONE)

SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.

CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.

Take your seat, please, take your seat.

MUSIC: STARTS.

The junction lies ahead, so if you’ll allow me just a moment.

SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.

We are now passing through the Swamp of Titan’s Blooms.

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.

Our next stop?

SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES.

The Moonlit Hermit.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: MECHANICAL CLICKS, WHIRRING, CLICK. LIKE A JUKEBOX CHANGING TRACKS.

RILLA: (GROGGY GASPS) Ugh, my head…

SOUND: LEAVES RUSTLING.

Saints, it’s dark in here. Where… where am I?

(CALLING) Hello?

ARUM: Good morning, little human.

RILLA: (GASPS)

ARUM: Did you sleep well?

SOUND: LEAVES RUSTLING.

RILLA: Who is that? Where are you?

ARUM: Of course. I forgot you creatures had such limited vision.

Keep. The bioluminescents, if you would.

SOUND: SNAP. ELECTRIC HUM.

RILLA: (GASPS)

ARUM: There. Is that better?

RILLA: I… I don’t know why you brought me here, monster, but I’m not—

ARUM: Then it might be wisest to stay silent. Listen:

SOUND: MECHANICAL REVVING UP, GEARS SPINNING. RECORDER PLAYS.

RILLA (FROM RECORDER): Looks like… an insect larva, but, not one I’ve ever seen before. Pure white, no eyes, a weird warmth emanating from it… and that sound. Like a heartbeat… like the Numbcap.

I took the specimens I could and I killed the rest, but… what even is it?

SOUND: RECORDER CLICKS OFF.

RILLA: My– recorder… where did you—

ARUM: I’m going to be direct, because I don’t have time for anything else. I brought you here because I wasn’t sure how much you knew about my grubs, and I couldn’t have you telling your soft-minded friends about them. I now know that you know nothing, and so this entire exercise has been a waste of my time, tktktktktktktktk.

RILLA: So… what? I get to go home now?

ARUM: Of course. I’ll just give you your recorder and you’ll be on your merry way. As soon as you do something for me.

RILLA: As soon as I what?

ARUM: There’s no need to sound so surprised. Barter is as old as language – it exists for monsters and humans and everything in between. I give you freedom; you perform a service for me.

RILLA: That’s not a trade! You kidnapped me!

ARUM: I could kill you, instead.

RILLA: You wouldn’t.

ARUM: (CHUCKLES) Keep. Lights out.

SOUND: ELECTRIC HUM STOPS. LEAVES RUSTLING.

RILLA: (GASPS) Turn the lights back on, or I’ll—

ARUM: (HISSES)

SOUND: SLITHERING.

RILLA: Ah!

ARUM: (LAUGHS) This contraption is not the only one of your records I’ve examined. You have a knowledge of plants. How to care for them, treat them, use them. And as it happens I have a sudden need of someone who understands the workings of flora.

RILLA: You want me… to work for you?

ARUM: The diagrams I found hidden beneath your floorboards suggest you’d take great interest in my craft. Vivisections of monstrous life, incomplete formulae on magic spells, theoretical diagrams of creatures unseen… you desire to know the universe as it is, and not as it is told to you. And if you cure my patient, you will be allowed one long, lingering look into that grand infinitude you wish to know.

RILLA: Patient? Who would—

ARUM: Tktktktktktktktk!

RILLA: (HEAVY BREATHING)

ARUM: Or I can kill you right now. In the dark. And you will never know the wonders you could have witnessed, tktktktk.

So? Which will it—

RILLA: The first one.

ARUM: That was… very fast. Are you certain—

RILLA: Is there a plus side to the dying one that I’m missing? ‘Cause, if not, I’m good.

ARUM: (GROWLS) Keep! Retract the walls!

MUSIC: SINGING STARTS.

SOUND: DEEP RUMBLING, CREAKING.

RILLA: Where are you taking me?

ARUM: Nowhere. We’ve been here all along.

RILLA: …Whoa. What is… all this life, all these plant species… I’ve never seen…!

MUSIC: SINGING ENDS.

SOUND: RUMBLING STOPS. JUNGLE AMBIANCE FADES IN.

Those trees over there; those are Everdeads, aren’t they? But they’re only native to—

ARUM: The Western Wastes, yes.

RILLA: And that’s a thatch of Inky Clover! And that’s Dayshade… and… and… there are specimens here I didn’t believe were real. How did you—

ARUM: Welcome to my Keep, little human – the castle from which I rule this swamp, the font from which every Titan’s Bloom springs. It is your patient.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE [FROM THE START OF THE EPISODE].

SOUND: SWAMP AMBIANCE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): Research log. Entry… I guess it doesn’t matter. This is… probably going to be the last one I ever make, anyway.

MUSIC: STARTS.

For whoever finds this, my name is Amaryllis of Exile. My home is the Second Citadel. And… please. I need you to get this recording there as fast as you can. I don’t understand it all, but, I hope that this will help them prepare for what’s coming.

SOUND: HAMMERING.

Because the things I’ve seen out here? The things I’ve been told…

SOUND: SPLASH.

(GASPS) It’s out there again. Saints, just keep it away a little longer… I don’t have much time. I was escaping, trying to get out of this swamp, but my ankle… I think I broke it. And now that thing is after me, that… I don’t even know what to call it. Like a monster. No, worse – because I made it.

I probably don’t have enough time to retell the whole story, so I’m going to piece together the recordings of what happened in the living Keep. You should hear it for yourself, anyway. So. This is my final research log. And my final subject: the lizard-creature that calls himself:

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE. MUSIC CUTS OFF.

ARUM: Lord Arum, he who rules the Swamp of Titan’s Blooms. And you, of course, are Amaryllis.

RILLA: How did you—

SOUND: CLICK. RECORDER PLAYS.

RILLA (FROM RECORDER): Is it… is it working? Saints, my recorder! It’s really working! (LAUGHS) Marc’s gonna miss this… I should wake him up. I should.

But first… (CLEARS THROAT) Research log, entry one. I am Ril– no, no, make it sound professional. I am Amaryllis of Exile, and I, along with Marc of the Craftsman’s Quarter, have just invented a consistent process by which sound… can be recorded. (LAUGHS)

SOUND: RECORDER CLICKS OFF.

ARUM: That’s how. I’ve only had time to listen to a few of your recordings, but I know enough.

RILLA: But… wait. You should have had plenty of time to listen through my recorder. It takes… nearly two weeks to get to the Swamp of Titan’s Blooms.

ARUM: It might take two weeks for you creatures. We arrived within two hours.

RILLA: Two hours? But, that’s impossible…

Ugh, just… hold on. This is a lot.

ARUM: I’ve told you I have no time for this. My Keep is sick. And if you ever want to return to Mack and the whole gang back in the Cartographers’ Quadrant, you will have to cure it. Preferably before it dies.

RILLA: Right. Oooookay.

So. How do you know it’s sick?

ARUM: The bond that passes between myself and this lifeform is more than your pitiful mind could ever comprehend, Amaryllis. I always know what it thinks. Always.

???: (SINGS)

ARUM: That doesn’t count. I still think you were lying.

RILLA: The plant-house can… sing? Saints, I get to examine the first plant lifeform that can sing!

And… you responded to it. It said something you could respond to, which means it thought of something to say, which means…

Saints, the plant can think.

ARUM: Not very well.

??? [KEEP]: (HAPPY SINGING)

ARUM: Can we move along now? I think you’ve inflated its ego enough for one day.

RILLA: It has an ego!

ARUM: Here.

RILLA: Here what? This is just a rock.

ARUM: This is the Keep’s sickness. You are going to cure it.

RILLA: You want me to cure… rocks?

ARUM: I want you to cure whatever this is, and quickly. You can come get me when you’ve solved the problem. Farewell.

SOUND: SLITHERING.

RILLA: But… wait, what? I’m not done asking you questions yet!

ARUM: Then ask them and be done with it. I have important business that needs attending to, tktktktktktktktk.

RILLA: Alright. When did this sickness start—

ARUM: Irrelevant. That will be all.

RILLA: I can’t figure out what’s wrong with this until I study it!

ARUM: So study it, then. I don’t see what that has to do with me.

RILLA: I need tools! Materials! I need scales, and measurements, and—

ARUM: Scales? Measurements? I don’t care how many pounds of cure you make; I just want a cure!

RILLA: You really don’t have anything like that around here?

ARUM: The forces I work with don’t need them. I understand your measurements well enough to know that I am past them. They are not what truly matters.

RILLA: But—

ARUM: That was your final question. You have the sickness in your hand. You have a greenhouse full of supplies. Anything else you need you will have to make.

RILLA: If you want a cure, Arum, I need to make a diagnosis. And if you want a diagnosis, I need my tools.

ARUM: And if you want your freedom, Amaryllis, you’ll have to figure it out on your own.

Keep. See that her survival needs are met.

KEEP: (INQUISITIVE SINGING)

ARUM: Fine. You may allow her one cushion of her choosing. Just don’t let it distract you.

KEEP: (AFFIRMATIVE SINGING)

ARUM: I’ll check on you in the morning. You may ask a few more questions then.

RILLA: But Arum!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

ARUM: Enough, you stubborn primate! Stay put, mind your work, and do not follow me!

SOUND: SLITHERING. RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: (WHISPERING) Research log, entry four-two-two-seven. I followed the lizard to… whatever the hell this thing is.

ARUM: (DISTANT) Just a few more, Keep. We won’t be making many specimens today.

KEEP: (HAPPY SINGING)

RILLA: It seems like this is some sort of workstation for him, but… it’s alive. A closed flower bulb as big as my hut, and vines keep coming out of the walls and feeding it weird things. A basket of dead beetles, a pile of rocks, a gourd full of pulsating liquid…

No. No, it’s not eating. It looks like… a machine. Not like the devices Marc makes, with gears and springs, but… the lizard just… makes small gestures and the whole thing comes to life.

ARUM: Now, you recall the design we discussed this morning?

KEEP: (SINGS)

ARUM: Very good.

MUSIC: KEEP SINGING STARTS.

RILLA: I can’t see what’s happening. I’m going to try to get a closer look.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS. GROWING, STRETCHING, RUMBLING.

ARUM: Excellent. Now let’s take a look at this one.

RILLA: There’s something moving in the bulb, but I can’t—

Saints above. This is going to sound nuts. Rilla, you are going to sound insane. Those things it ate… they’re moving. The stones are like legs, the dead beetles are all melted into one another, and… they’re alive. The lizard knows how to make life.

MUSIC: KEEP SINGING ENDS.

ARUM: Another failure. (GRUNTS)

SOUND: HIGH-PITCHED SCREECH-WAIL. CRUNCH.

Keep. Again.

KEEP: (TIRED SINGING)

ARUM: Of course I mean now. Act like your life depends on it, you ridiculous—

KEEP: (SINGS)

ARUM: The human? What about—

SOUND: SLITHERING.

You. What are you doing here?

RILLA: I… uh…

ARUM: Do we have to re-examine the terms of our deal, Amaryllis? A plant this large is always in need of fertilizer, tktktktktktk.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): Observations on the subject, Lord Arum, native to the Swamp of Titan’s Blooms: easily annoyed, very picky about the details he cares about, completely dismissive of the details he doesn’t, selfish, haughty, and… unfortunately, extremely competent. I was never going to fight my way out of here like Damien, or talk my way out like Marc. And without tools, I was never going to cure his Keep’s sickness.

But I was the best researcher in the Citadel. I’d found a thousand cures before. Why not a cure for kidnapping?

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: Are you still there? Go.

RILLA: Yes, Lord Arum.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): After all, if this Keep held things like that, things that… could create life? Surely it had all I needed to trick a lizard into setting me free.

And if I gathered some data that might unlock new boundaries in future research along the way… I mean, that wouldn’t be a bad thing, right?

So, I pretended to work on his cure while I took inventory of what Arum had in his greenhouse. It should’ve taken one day. It took me eight. Because Arum’s organization system… or his lack of a system, or— (FRUSTRATED GASP) Listen. I’ve dealt with bad organizers before. Marc once told me, to my face, that he kept all his springs in the right-hand drawer because on the day he got them he was “feeling right.” But I could deal with that. Because, even if Marc was the only person who could decode his system, at least he had a code, and that meant some sense was being made somewhere for someone. But Arum? He had nothing. He had less than nothing. He had negative organization.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: If you need orchids, go find them.

RILLA: That’s not what I asked. I asked where they are.

ARUM: he orchids live where they like, obviously. Am I supposed to count and place every seed?

RILLA: Kind of, yeah! You really just… mix all the plants around? Even the weeds?

ARUM: Have you ever tried telling a weed it has to move? They can’t talk, you know.

RILLA: No, I don’t talk to it, I just kinda move it!

ARUM: And put up with all that whining? Ugh.

RILLA: They can’t talk, but they can whine? (SIGHS) I just… it would make me more effective if you knew where, generally, your specimens are.

ARUM: And all that effort for what?

RILLA: I don’t know, so you could find them more easily? All in one place, instead of spread out across the greenhouse?

ARUM: (AFTER A PAUSE) Ridiculous. We will never speak of this again.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: You want an inventory? As in a list, tktktktktktktktk?

RILLA: Yes, as in… (FRUSTRATED GRUNT) It doesn’t even have to be written down. I’ll take anything at this point.

ARUM: (STRAINED GRUNT) So you expect me to keep a list of all I’ve ever made? Those projects are— (STRAINED GRUNT) —all finished, whether successes or failures.

RILLA: Sure, but if you kept track of what made the successes work, you could keep having successes!

ARUM: (LAUGHS) Oh, so now you think you can predict the future, do you?

RILLA: No, obviously. But if we can figure out the rules that the future operates on, the mathematical and physical and chemical laws, then—

ARUM: Then you may be queen in your tiny sandbox of what’s understood, while I dance among the stars of the impossible. (SNORTS) Of course I know these mathematical laws. We invented them long before you. And then some of us, the ambitious ones, moved— (STRAINED GRUNT) —on. Because in order for something to be measurable, it must be small enough to measure, and some of us want more.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): And he kept doing that, hand-waving at some huge “more” without ever explaining what he meant. I could see some of it in action, plants and animals and fungi that moved in ways that shouldn’t have been possible…

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: Do not be tempted to approach their fronds, even when they molt. When Serrated Palms feel threatened they become sharp enough to cut through solid rock.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: The name is a misnomer. It doesn’t walk so much as kick; the locomotion is an afterthought for the Walking Bonsai. Excellent reflexes, tktktktktktktktk.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: The Macrachnids may—

SOUND: ANIMAL SNORTING, CLICKING.

—look frightening, but they’re quite docile if fed appropriately – which is to say: not at all. No matter how much they beg. Don’t.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): And that big plant that made life… that hermit? I had to know what that was. I had my theories and they were killing me, because… (SIGHS) We’ll get to that soon, I guess.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: (PANTING) Alright. Research log, entry four-two-four-one. I think I found some more of the illness on the Keep’s walls, right by the tops of these cacao trees. Taking samples now.

It’s hard, but brittle. Colors ranging from white to light gray; on the inside, there are striations that could be, uh… like the lines inside some… gems. Like… diamonds? Or… wow, I really don’t care about rocks.

But… hang on…

SOUND: SCRAPING.

These ones look almost like tree rings. Petrified wood, maybe? But… crustier, flakier, with this gummy white stuff on the inside, like, uh… bad skin.

This would be a lot easier if I ever listened when Angelo was talking. Rocks and skin care! This is maybe the only patient out there he’d have a better shot at curing than me.

SOUND: SLITHERING.

Hm? What’s that—

ARUM: Here at last, my little specimen!

RILLA: (YELPS)

ARUM: (HISSES) Amaryllis!

SOUND: BRANCHES SNAPPING, LEAVES RUSTLING.

RILLA: (PANTING) Uh… thanks.

ARUM: Don’t thank me. Apologize.

RILLA: Apologize?!

ARUM: Climbing trees when you should be working! Sitting on branches unannounced!

RILLA: I was working. I was just examining this… whatever this is.

ARUM: Oh. So you were.

Well, I doubt your efforts will be needed much longer. You see, I think I have found the path to the cure myself.

RILLA: You… really?

ARUM: Indeed. A great accomplishment, tktktktktktktktk.

Would you… like a demonstration, Amaryllis?

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): Subject: Lord Arum. Input: the opportunity to show a successful creation. Observations: widening of the eyes. Shortened breath. Rapid flicks of the tongue, suggesting both increased temperature and… heightened pulse.

Then he seemed to notice it on himself, and the old Arum was back.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: A demonstration, strictly for your duties, of course. To help you… find the cure faster.

RILLA: Uhhh… sure, yeah. I’ll watch.

ARUM: Excellent.

Look closely. I am certain this is something you have never seen before.

RILLA: You don’t know—

SOUND: CLICKS, SQUEAKS, PAINED NOISES.

Saints… what is that thing? Did it come out from that… from that…

ARUM: The hermit, yes. (CHUCKLES) Observant, aren’t you.

RILLA: The thorax resembles a centipede’s, but the head – is that a crow’s beak?

ARUM: No. It is this creature’s beak. Currently.

RILLA: Rotating ball joints, connected to legs that end in… stone. It’s actually stone.

And, that noise… like it has lungs? Or a voicebox, but, I don’t see evidence of—

It’s in pain. Of course it’s in pain. At that size its exoskeleton is probably buckling, and with legs that heavy it can’t even stand!

What have you done to this thing?

ARUM: Created it.

RILLA: How?

ARUM: In no way it didn’t consent to.

RILLA: It can’t have given consent before it was alive!

ARUM: My, you humans do enjoy your ultimatums, don’t you?

RILLA: But—

ARUM: Its pain bothers you, does it? Would you like me to bring an end to it?

RILLA: Don’t kill it! It’s one of a kind!

ARUM: Hmmm. She would rather it suffer, so that she can study it. Well. The human continues to surprise, tktktktktktktktk.

RILLA: That isn’t what I meant.

ARUM: I wasn’t going to kill it anyway. But end its pain? That I can do. Now watch closely.

You. Subject. Look… here.

SOUND: CLICKS, SQUEAKS STOP.

That’s more like it.

You are called a Chiselpede. You have been created within the universe, wherein there is a place called the Swamp of Titan’s Blooms, wherein there is a Lord called Arum. I am he. As my creation, and the creation of this swamp, you exist as a level among levels, and you will listen to the levels closest to you, and you will trust that they understand the larger picture better than yourself. That means you will ignore things outside your purview, such as physical laws, which are the business of the universe, and you will trust me to inform you what is possible and what is not. Is that understood?

Good. Now… rise.

SOUND: HAPPY CHIRPS.

RILLA: Wh… what?

ARUM: It is precisely as you see it, tktktktktktk.

RILLA: It shouldn’t be able to stand. It's physically impossible.

ARUM: And yet, it stands.

Here, Chiselpede. You see this sickness? This blight?

SOUND: CHIRPS.

I need samples of it. You are to gather them and bring them to the source from which you were born. Is that understood?

SOUND: CHIRPS.

Good.

Now, I think we’ve taken enough of this creature’s time. Off you go, now.

SOUND: CHIRPS.

RILLA: What was that?

ARUM: That is the nature of my work. The impossible. Phenomena which can be neither tamed nor explained.

RILLA: Magic.

ARUM: In a word, yes.

Those will be all of your questions for today. Farewell.

RILLA: But, wait! I just want to know how it works!

ARUM: (SNORTS) Well. How disappointing. I thought you might have learned something, for once.

RILLA: What’s that supposed to mean?

ARUM: Always looking for rules, formulae, guarantees… humans. Feh.

RILLA: Maybe I would’ve learned something if you actually explained it!

SOUND: SLITHERING.

Hey, come on! You’re gonna magically bring that thing to life and you aren’t even going to tell me how you—

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): So. I’d gained three things from that meeting: a bigger sample of the disease, a sense of what Arum could do, and a deadline, that was closing in fast. Because if he’d only agreed to let me go if I cured the Keep… what were the odds I’d get to leave if he cured it? I tested my first formula an hour later.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: Alright! Fake petrification cure, version one. A light acid found in the berries of the Dayshade; testing to see if it softens the stonelike exterior at all.

SOUND: LIQUID POURING, SIZZLES.

Ow! Ugh! …Ooooookay. That might be… a little too soft.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: Version four. It’s been six hours of testing, so far. Suitably soft, but when squeezed…

SOUND: TOY SQUEAK.

Yeah, no, he’s not going to buy that.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: Version six, twenty hours. Painted this one green.

SOUND: ROCKS CLINKING.

Yep. Thaaat’s a green rock.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: Version eleven, twenty-six hour—

SOUND: EXPLOSION.

Ahhh!

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): And each morning Arum still came by and still expected me to have questions. In retrospect, he looked tired, too – but at the time, I was too distracted to tell.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: Here. Some tea from the Serrated Palm’s leaves, taken after group meditation. Don’t thank me; it’s solely to prove you wrong.

I hope you enjoy it.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: You wouldn’t believe the training regimen the Keep and I had to go through to tame the Walking Bonsais in the first place. It was worth it in the end – a great delight, to prune a plant that prunes back.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE. MACRACHNID CLICKS & SNORTS.

ARUM: Shh… shh… There, you see? Merely skittish, Macrachnids. They need only to know that you mean them no harm. But once you get them galloping, up walls, across the ceiling…

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): Subject: Lord Arum. Input: several days spent together. Observations: the subject is self-involved, condescending, overly nostalgic, and, if his insistence on sharing his accolades with me is any indication, he is also extremely lonely. So lonely, in fact, that I doubt he even realizes it.

And none of that forgives him. It just… distracted me. Made my research that much harder. But every project has challenges, and I beat those.

Eventually.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: Alright, okay, alright. (SIGHS) This is petrification Rilla, cure seven… teen…? Ughhh, Saints, I’m tired. Forty-two hours of this. Have to get out of here. Have to.

I think, I hope, that I’m onto something. The solution resembles a paste, and it’s easy enough to apply with the hands. Composed of two parts Greenstain Sap, one part Acidberry, trace elements from a few other specimens, and three parts aloe.

Burns like you wouldn’t believe. Doesn’t matter. Testing… now.

SOUND: DROP OF LIQUID. RUBBING, SQUEAKING.

It… doesn’t hurt. At least.

It’s… working. It works! I can go home! (LAUGHS) I really did it! It’s soft, and it’s green, and– so… are… my hands.

Ughhh, come on, Rilla! If the monster’s hands look like limes when he’s done he’s never going to buy it.

Okay. Just… one more. Just one more try, and then you can sleep. So get…

KEEP: (SINGING, DISTANT) Meet me by the river / Where the elderberries grow

RILLA: What the…?

KEEP: (SINGING) When stars are silver / No one has to know

RILLA: That’s… I know that song. But– how…

KEEP: (SINGING) Meet me by the river / By driftwood and stone

RILLA: (SIGHS, SNORING)

KEEP: (SINGING) I’ll float down with her / No one has to know

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): Damien always said that staying up all night working on my experiments was never going to do them any good. It never meant much coming from him – the knight famous for his five-night staring contest with a Blinking Gorgon wasn’t so generous with sleep for himself, either. So I knew when he said:

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

DAMIEN (FROM RECORDER): You’ll find the answer if you sleep, my love. In rest, the Saints move through us.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): …what he meant was, I’m worried about you. Take care of yourself. I love you.

But… that just made me want to listen even less. I don’t like being told what to do. Especially by a knight. Even if I said the same thing to him when he worked too hard. Damien…

Anyway… I say that only to make the point that that night, Damien was right. So. Tell him that for me. I guess.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: (SNORTS AWAKE) A– a handle. If it’s applied with a brush, he’ll never touch it! And he won’t know it’s just paint. (YAWNS) Saints, I hope the lizard has a coffee plant somewhere in here.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: Research log, entry Rilla’s-goin’-home! I have the cure prepared, put together a nice container and brush to make it look official, and I am ready to hand this over to this monster and get out of here – just as soon as he wakes up.

ARUM: (SNORING)

RILLA: I found him like this a few minutes ago. Totally out cold. Would be a good time to gather some data on a deeply, magically complex sentient creature, but… I want to go home, and ending his little nappy sounds more satisfying.

Materials for this experiment: a big stick and a week’s worth of malice. Testing… now.

ARUM: (HISSES AWAKE)

RILLA: (SCREAMS)

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: —and that is why you must never touch me while I am sleeping, tktktktktktktktk.

RILLA: Okay!

ARUM: And you! I told you not to sing… that!

KEEP: (DISAPPOINTED SINGING)

ARUM: I don’t care how tired I looked! You cannot just lullaby me like some hatchling anymore! It’s… inappropriate!

KEEP: (MORE DISAPPOINTED SINGING)

ARUM: Don’t do it again. (GROWLS) Well, Amaryllis. I thank you for the wake-up call, but I have business to attend to.

RILLA: No you don’t.

ARUM: Excuse me?

RILLA: What were you going to do? Build more creations to help your Keep? You don’t have to anymore. I found the cure.

ARUM: You– what?

RILLA: I have it, and a sample of the infected tissue right here. I’ll show you how it works.

SOUND: CLINKING.

It’s simple, really. You just—

ARUM: I know how a brush works, yes.

RILLA: Alright.

SOUND: BRUSH PAINTING.

You have to give it a second to take hold, and be careful not to touch it until it’s done. It… it only works on plants. It would burn our hands. Definitely.

ARUM: I see. Hand it here.

RILLA: Hang on, hang on…

SOUND: SIZZLING.

And… done.

And the best part is that it’s preventative, too, so you don’t need me to make any more of it. Just spread this around a little and the Keep will take care of itself.

ARUM: Well. I have to say that I’m impressed, Amaryllis. You did this… much more quickly than I’d imagined.

You may go now.

RILLA: Really? Just like that?

ARUM: I would rather the silence, yes. You look tired. Go find a soft patch and… hibernate. Or… pupate, or whatever it is humans do.

RILLA: I’d really rather pupate at home, Arum.

ARUM: Well, I can’t just let you go that quickly, can I? I have rigorous checks I’ll have to perform. I’ll have to ask the Keep what it thinks.

RILLA: You don’t care what the Keep thinks.

ARUM: There are many steps involved, Amaryllis. You’ll have to wait.

RILLA: To wait? You want me to wait? My cure works, doesn’t it?

ARUM: It appears to—

RILLA: Prove it doesn’t. Try it on all the disease you want, this treats it, and what did you say I got if I found a treatment?

ARUM: You know fully well—

RILLA: I want to hear you say it. What was our deal, Arum?

ARUM: (GROWLS)

RILLA: You aren’t going to let me leave. You were never going to let me go, were you?

ARUM: Oh, and did you really expect me to? Did you really think I could, tktktktktktktktk?

RILLA: It’s pretty easy, Arum! You just open the door and— (GASPS)

SOUND: HISS, STRIKE.

ARUM: And what, Amaryllis? What? Let you go back to your hive and tell all the humans what the monster is up to? Where to find him, how to kill him, how many pieces to cut him into?

RILLA: I wouldn’t… I-I don’t want to—!

ARUM: A war is on. What we want stopped being relevant the moment the first stone was thrown, no matter who threw it.

RILLA: But… that’s…

Not fair!

ARUM: It is how things work. Fair and unfair are fables. Myths. They can exist only if there are stable rules that govern all action, all things, but there are no rules here. Only survival by any means necessary.

I must protect myself and my Keep. If you were in my position I would expect you to do the same. I will allow you to live here, in my greenhouse, as thanks… but I can give nothing else.

SOUND: PUNCH.

RILLA: You lied to me. All those little favors, those talks we had… you tricked me! We had a deal.

ARUM: What would you have me do, then?

RILLA: Let me go!

ARUM: And then what? (CHUCKLES) You humans… so naïve, aren’t you? The sun itself could descend upon your bald little bodies, and until the end you’d be standing in its rays searching for a way to change its course. Running calculations until it cremated you to the last.

RILLA: And you wouldn’t?

ARUM: Die for nothing? Of course not. I would survive in the shade until every man and monster was ash, and then I would finally have peace.

Farewell, human. I’ll be sure to test your cure right away. Tktktktktktktktk.

SOUND: SLITHERING.

RILLA: (SHOUTING) No! You don’t get to take that if I don’t get to… (GROWLS) Get back here, you… you monster!

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): I was so angry with him that, it took me a while to remember that the cure I’d given him? Was bogus. And that meant, I didn’t have the time to wallow. By the next morning, Arum would know I’d tricked him. So, by the next morning, I’d probably be dead. And if I was ever going to escape… that night was my only chance to do it.

I started by reviewing my notes.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: —when Serrated Palms feel threatened they become sharp enough to cut through solid rock—

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: —comotion is an afterthought for the Walking Bonsai. Excellent reflexes, tktktktk—

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

ARUM: —ly skittish, Macrachnids. They need only to know that you mean them no harm. But once you get them galloping, up walls, across the ceiling—

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA (NARRATOR): And then… there was the hermit, and the creatures it made.

So I had my method. My means. My theory. I didn’t have any time to test it, but… that didn’t matter. I’d only get one shot at this anyway. So when night fell, and on the ceiling high above, the Keep’s solar bioluminescents faded, I gathered my supplies and began my escape.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE. MACRACHNID CLICKS & SNORTS.

RILLA: Shh, shh, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay. It’s just a plant. It’s not going to hurt you. It’s… not going to hurt you.

(CLEARS THROAT) Research log four-two-nine-five. I have my supplies. I am entering the hermit… now.

SOUND: GRUNT, LEAF RIPPING. MACRACHNID SCREECH.

Shh, shh. Come on.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

(GASPS) It can’t… no way.

I… would like to correct my previous assumption. The big flower bulb is not the hermit. This is.

SOUND: CHIMES JINGLING.

The Moonlit Hermit.

MUSIC: STARTS.

SOUND: MACRACHNID SCREECH, SNORTS.

Shhh. Petals: five, each around three inches long, translucent, a soft glow like… like stars through mist. That’s how Dad’s notes described it. It has no leaves, no roots, even. Just its stem, which Vogel’s called ‘a single strand the color and thickness of spider’s silk.’ The bloom is huge comparatively, way too heavy for the stem, but it’s holding itself up. When the lizard said hermit I hoped, but… I’ve hoped for this a million times before. It’s just a legend. But it’s here.

MUSIC: ENDS.

I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I—

KEEP: (SINGING, DISTANT)

SOUND: MACRACHNID SCREECH.

RILLA: Okay. Escape first, gloat over the find of the century later. I don’t see anything else in here, so does that mean… the Moonlit Hermit can just bring things to life? (SIGHS) I need to check some of my recorder’s notes. End of log.

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE.

RILLA: Alright, notes reviewed. I had… a lot of them. Quick summary: the Moonlit Hermit, a flower with no ability to reproduce, feed, drink, nothing – and yet it lives. Supposed to grow in the shadows of deep caves, and supposed to be magical in composition – a monster, technically. That’s the fairy tale, anyway. Vogel’s First Citadel Panaceas obviously suggests it was sought by early kings as some kind of solution to death. But, I forgot that Reynard’s Specimens of the Northern Wilds mentions it, too: “A glowing pointe upon the clyffe / her tears shall plant the fae-bloom’s gift.” That, of course, being a reference to a contemporary misconception of hallucinations, or fae’s gifts, first cited in—

It doesn’t matter. Whatever weird things it made happened below it. When it was… crying.

No nectar. Then how—

KEEP: (SINGING)

RILLA: Was that… hissing? Did you hear hissing?

SOUND: MACRACHNID SCREECH.

Alright. Time to go.

SOUND: RUSTLING.

Place the serrated frond here… the bonsai root here… and tie them together… there. Now… cry!

Cry!

KEEP: (SINGING)

RILLA: Okay. Got to think like the impossible singing castle. Make you cry. How do I make you cry?

ARUM: (DISTANT) What is all that racket, tktktktktktktktk?

RILLA: Oookay, sad story! Uh, once upon a time, there was a, uh, little girl, and she had these two parents who were doctors, and they helped people a lot, only one day it turned out the doctors weren’t doctors so much as witches, and magic was super-mega-illegal in the Citadel and so they were exiled, which wasn’t great, and the girl had to live with her friends’ parents, only she didn’t think it was fair, so she kept going over her parents’ old notes to try and prove that they weren’t magic, or at least that magic was really just super complicated medicine, only I got caught, and they exiled me too, so I built a cool hut right outside the Citadel and I’ve been waiting for them ever since, but they still haven’t come back even though the new Queen lifted our exiles and I don’t know if they’re even alive, the end, cry!

Oh, come on, seriously? Nothing?

SOUND: SAD MACRACHNID SQUEALS.

Good. Great. Now the spider’s dripping.

Dripping. Dripping! Agh, Rilla, you idiot, the crying’s just a metaphor! Take out my canteen—

SOUND: DROPS OF LIQUID.

—a few drops to the Hermit, then the components, and…

MUSIC: STARTS.

SOUND: RUMBLING, GROWING.

It’s working. The frond and the bonsai are growing together, fusing, reacting! Just like I planned. A living saw. A serrated palm blade, sharp enough to cut through the Keep, a walking bonsai handle, with reflexes fast enough to protect me. And it’s… alive.

ARUM: (DISTANT) Amaryllis! The Macrachnids are a mess! Where are you?

SOUND: MACRACHNID SQUEAL.

RILLA: No, you don’t! You’re my ride out of here!

SOUND: MACRACHNID SQUEALS.

Ugh! Hold still! I just have to grab my saw and—

Where’d the saw go?

SOUND: THUMPS.

What’s that sound?

SOUND: MACRACHNID SQUEALS, WHIMPERS.

Shh, shh!

That’s… that can’t be…

SOUND: BLADE SWISH. LONG MACRACHNID SQUEAL.

(YELPS)

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE. MACRACHNID WHIMPERS, THUMPS.

RILLA (NARRATOR): (WHISPERING) Research log, entry… who cares. The saw, it’s not a saw. It’s… how the hell do I describe it? Like… a huge inchworm, maybe? Its head is a freaking leaf-sword, and its tail is a tree with a hell of a kick and then it– it…

It got the Macrachnid. The poor thing still sounds alive, but… it just took its body. The thing’s using it like a big eight-fingered hand, grabbing and climbing and—

SOUND: WHIMPERS, THUMPS STOP.

Where’d it go?

SOUND: SAWING.

Wh… what…?

SOUND: MACRACHNID SCREAM.

Saints—

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE. A MOMENT OF SILENCE. RECORDER TRACK CHANGE AGAIN.

RILLA: (PANTING) Alright. Okay. I think I’m— (YELLS)

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE. A MOMENT OF SILENCE. RECORDER TRACK CHANGE AGAIN.

RILLA: (DISTANT) No, no, no… listen to me. Can you listen? This is the, ehm, Swamp of Titan’s Blooms, where there is a Lord called Arum, and—

SOUND: BLADE SCHING. DULL THUD.

(GASPING) Stop it! I made you! I made— (YELPS)

ARUM: (DISTANT) You made a mess. Now step aside.

RILLA: (DISTANT) Arum!

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE. A MOMENT OF SILENCE. RECORDER TRACK CHANGE AGAIN.

ARUM: (CLOSER) Don’t you order me, you insolent—

SOUND: MACRACHNID SCREECH. BLADES CLANGING.

Yah!

RILLA: (CLOSER) Arum, watch out!

SOUND: RECORDER TRACK CHANGE. A MOMENT OF SILENCE. RECORDER TRACK CHANGE AGAIN. MACRACHNID SQUEAL, BLADE SCHING. RECORDER TRACK CHANGE. A MOMENT OF SILENCE. RECORDER TRACK CHANGE AGAIN.

ARUM: Yah!

SOUND: BLADE SLASH. MACRACHNID SQUEAL. CRACKING, THWUMP.

RILLA: (AFTER A PAUSE) Is it… dead?

ARUM: (PANTING) It appears to be.

SOUND: RUSTLING.

What do you think you’re doing?

RILLA: I just… wanted to get a closer look.

ARUM: And that recording device, then. That’s supposed to help with your look?

RILLA: There might be some useful data—

ARUM: Data. Answers. Your mindless hunt for those things nearly killed us tonight, do you understand that?

SOUND: QUIET THUMPS.

RILLA: No, actually, I’m pretty sure what nearly killed us was when you wouldn’t let me go home.

ARUM: This again—

RILLA: What else was I supposed to do?

ARUM: Not toying with forces beyond your comprehension seems like a good place to start!

RILLA: Oh, like you understand how the Hermit works perfectly?

ARUM: Perhaps not. But I do know better than to grant the desire to live to something that could kill me.

SOUND: SAWING.

RILLA: Arum—

ARUM: No! You’ve talked entirely enough. You’re lucky that you’re such a useful doctor, little primate, or your throat—

RILLA: Arum! Move! (GRUNTS)

ARUM: Yoh!

SOUND: THUD. WET SLASH.

(PAINED YOWL)

RILLA: It’s getting ready to attack again. We have to move!

ARUM: (PAINED) My side… the blade… (PAINED GASP)

SOUND: SAWING GROWS LOUDER.

RILLA: Oh, Saints.

Oh Saints, protect us.

KEEP: (SINGING, BUILDING UP TO A CRESCENDO)

SOUND: HUGE RUMBLING, CREAKING. SILENCE.

RILLA: (AFTER A PAUSE, PANTING) What… what the…?

ARUM: (IN PAIN) It’s about time, Keep.

KEEP: (EXHAUSTED SINGING)

RILLA: Your house can… just do that? Grow a vine as thick as a tree trunk and just… punch someone with it?

ARUM: It isn’t that impressive. Help me up.

RILLA: Not that impressive? It blew up the Hermit’s cage! It shot that abomination straight through the wall!

KEEP: (EXHAUSTED SINGING)

ARUM: I told you that it is my duty to protect it. That duty goes in more than one direction. Now help me…

SOUND: CRACKING, CRUMBLING.

RILLA: Uh-oh.

SOUND: CRUMBLING ACCELERATES, THEN STOPS. SLITHERING.

ARUM: It’s… petrified. Again.

RILLA: It’s not… I didn’t…

ARUM: Tsch-tsch-tsch-tsch-tsch-tsch-tsch. Tsch-tsch-tsch-tsch-tsch-tsch-tsch-tsch.

RILLA: Arum…

ARUM: You told me you’d found the cure. You told me once I applied it this would end.

RILLA: I—

ARUM: So what was it, then? Stupidity? Or a lie, tktktktktktktktk?

RILLA: You told me I could go home. You said—

ARUM: I would like you to turn that thing off.

RILLA: What?

ARUM: Your recorder. I asked you to turn it off.

RILLA: But my notes…! If you think you can order me around after everything you’ve done—

ARUM: It is not an order. It is a request. I saved your life twice tonight. How many more times do I have to do it, before you’ll turn. That. Thing. Off?!

SOUND: RECORDING CUTS OUT.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you’ve enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you’ll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actor Noah Simes and co-creators Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

NOAH: …that it has nothing to do with Damien or their fight!

SOPHIE & KEVIN: (IN UNISON) Right.

NOAH: He has no idea—

SOPHIE: Right.

NOAH: —it seems, what their connection even is, that it’s just… I-I-I love that he– and, and, it ha– did have to do with those grubs, and then… even that—

SOPHIE: (LAUGHS) Right, was immaterial.

NOAH: —ended up being, like, a dead end. Both, in his investigation and plot-wise.

ALL: (LAUGH)

SOPHIE: Yeah, that was funny for us.

But yeah, it’s been, how long has it been? Like, when…

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Camille Blanton, Fiona Parker, Ota Arcana, Juno Yanto, Regan, Ko, KC, Kim Zeugen, Atha Lang, Vron, Charlie Spiegel, Minchowski, and Jaimie Gunter for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

Did you know that The Penumbra has merchandise for sale? It’s true! The Penumbra has partnered with DFTBA to bring you the posters, shirts, and pins your heart desires. Just go to dftba.com and search for The Penumbra Podcast.

This tale, the Moonlit Hermit, was told by the following people: Melissa Ennulat as Rilla, Noah Simes as Lord Arum, Kate Jones and Kat Buckingham as the Keep, and Matthew Zahnzinger as Sir Damien.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert. If you wish to know more about our ever-expanding, infinitely-creative team of artists, musicians, editors, designers, and managers, you can read about them in the show notes of this episode.

I’m afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

[paeonie-s]

Hey! Saw that you got a book of essays recently. Mind telling a little bit of what it’s about? :0 I like to hear peoples thoughts on things

oo ofc !! this book is actually a compilation of two pieces of work, Yoshida Kenkō's Tsurezuregusa (徒然草, trans. Essays in Idleness), as well as Kamo no Chōmei’s Hōjōki (方丈記, the title literally means "square-jō record", which refers to the tiny hut he lived in). Both of these authors are Buddhist monks who lived in medieval Japan and decided to leave organized society and go off to live on their own. Essays in Idleness was written between 1330 and 1332, and it mainly focuses on how living in isolation and “idleness” has influenced Kenkō's perception of his former life & faith, as well as the appreciation he has found for nature in his isolation. It’s a really beautiful piece of work, and it shows a love for the world that made me really genuinely emotional at times. I personally related a ton to the sense of isolation he talks about, it’s crazy how well the themes translate into the modern age. I’ve yet to read Hōjōki (i’m waiting for this copy of the book to arrive lol), but I believe it focuses more on Chōmei’s experience dealing with the impact of a ton of natural, social, & political disasters, which led him to go off and become a Buddhist hermit in the mountains (me too bro) Both works are really popular works of Japanese lit, and they contain a lot of interesting ideas relating to Buddhism, isolation, & impermanence. Essays in Idleness read a lot like a diary, and I assume Hōjōki is similar, since they’re both literally defining works of a genre centered around journaling. i’d definitely recommend checking it out, but it might not be too enjoyable if you don’t like old literature in general lol