#Here's to wishing that i'm not gonna spiral into this ship like I am with NejiSasu

[thekeeperofbalance]

so while writing my prev post (here) i was reminded of how much i dislike a lot of the canon relationships

mainly bc i'm a person with an excellent eye for unhealthy dynamics (i have much experience with them, but also i'm just very good at detecting power imbalances in relationships) and i felt like discussing them.

keep in mind, i'm fine with ppl who ship (i ship quite a few as well) these. i am just not fine with them being written like they were in canon, because they were deeply unhealthy.

warning: discussions of unhealthy relationships, death relating to valhalla's to-the-death activities (alluded to), abuse, (and because i don't want people clamoring unless they have questions and want me to clarify things, which i am perfectly happy to do, unless your rude) discussions of popular riordanverse ships being toxic/abusive/unhealthy

˚.⋆ 🌱 ⋆.˚

to start: percabeth.

i'll be honest---i haven't ever read hoo, and i never will. i just don't have the patience for it. but when ppl can quote lines abt a relationship being at least toxic, and at most abusive?? i get pushed off any ship real quick.

homes will discuss unhealthy relationships, will display the characters working through the problems presented within their relationships as they grow throughout the story. but i will never, ever, write an endgame toxic and/or abusive ship.

i loved percabeth in the pjo books, for the most part---even if i think it kind of overshadows all the other amazing ships out there, other than solangelo, for the most part. i'm not leaving solangelo out of this either.

anyways, i won't write endgame percabeth. that's just not gonna happen. they'll stay friends, and i've honestly preferred it that way for a long while. they just don't really fit together. i wasn't planning for them to stay together (you will see them together, but there will be some identity shenagins that annabeth will have to realise and imma be going through canon's mess, as well), because of an idea i've had for a while, that eventually birthed the ace-/aro-spec chase joke (magnus in homes is ace, natalie is aro, etc)

˚.⋆ 🌱 ⋆.˚

next: solangelo.

so, something i noticed when reading toa, is that will carries a lot of the emotional burden in his relationship with nico. i mean, he's fucking keeping him alive!! that's not something your partner should have to do. and by that i mean, your partner should not have to bear the burden of being the only thing keeping you alive---that's a fuck-ton of emotional labour, and i will give nico points for seeking some help, but i'm still re-working their relationship.

please do note that almost every relationship change spirals from my main relationship change of alex and magnus's healthy, consensual, and very queer, but not necessarily "typical" to society relationship. most of these characters have never really had a healthy relationship in their faces during their childhoods---i mean, percy has paul and sally, but their relationship is later, and they don't exactly push boundaries to make people reconsider their relationships and emotions. (i.e. alex and magnus are in a non-heterosexual, completely non-sexually-intimate (except for the very rare kiss on the lips, but it never gets further than that), healthy relationship that has extremely close ties to the kids in question)

˚.⋆ 🌱 ⋆.˚

fierrochase.

so, i absolutely adore fierrochase. i think they are, honestly, one of the healthiest relationships displayed within the entire riordanverse (they bow to carter & zia. blitzstone, sam & amir, hazel & frank (i think), and partially sadie x waltnubis which is only partial bc they have problems to work out, btw) that are majorly present and that i consistently remember bc i have adhd shit memory.

but i also must recognise, because this is a point i wish to make for later on, that any dynamic based upon killing your partner is unhealthy. no, i don't care that they can resurrect, that is still fucking traumatising. i will mention that them killing each other/magnus constantly being killed by alex is a mostly fandom-specific plot, so congrats, rick, there's one healthy relationship that's canon (and there are quite a few other ones, but i'm mainly pointing out the idealised ones).

they respect each other's boundaries, are learning about each other, and are taking their time to figure out their relationship. it's not really shown in canon---mainly because we get so little time with alex and magnus in a more-than-friends capacity, but we still see a lot of equal ground between the two of them. which is fucking important.

˚.⋆ 🌱 ⋆.˚

anyways: mallory x halfborn.

y'know the comment i made about dynamics based upon killing your partner are unhealthy a paragraph ago? yeah, this is what i was talking about.

one of the biggest bases, if mallory and halfborn were real, of their relationship would be fear. mainly because you would fear your killer. yeah, you can get desensitized to it, but you shouldn't have to become numb to fear of your partner just to continue being with them. no one is at fault here, and i will show that in the one-shot that discusses mallory & halfborn's relationship. i'm kind of horrified that their relationship is a thing that exists. i mean, can you imagine never knowing when your partner will just to decide to kill you, and did, and has?? even if you can't die permamently, that fear would stick.

especially in homes, where the battle scars stay. magnus will have a scar on their neck from the one time (just the once, and they discussed it afterwards), all of them have scars. (why i changed this will be part of another post.)

i can't write a relationship like that. one of homes' largest themes is healing, is growth, is escaping unhealthy thought patterns and relationships. the song that backs the entire series is don't panic by coldplay, if you wish to know the ideas i'm aiming to represent.

jason & piper, and calypso & leo are also problematic but not generally idealised within the books or by the fandom, and i can cover them later because i don't see much about them (personally) and because i am running out of steam.

lark, out.

[emotionalcello-makefanfics]

Note to self: (boy we're getting angsty tonight babes!)

Saw this on insta, got an idea. Good god I never wanted to delve into kakairu because I KNOW i'd obsess over them, I've went through like dozens of this pair's fic and it was devastating the time I burned reading them. Anyway, the fanfic idea is:

KakaIru broken link soulmates au. One of those "if you touch the string will show". It's also so cute that it's on their wrist instead like a lil friendship bracelet AW~!

They met and touched at childhood when Iruka was out late at night stealing food because he's hungry and the orphanage is packed and lack budget because of the Nine tail attack. Iruka got injured, Anbu 'Hound' helped. They touch when they're holding hands when Hound picking Iruka up from the ground and the wee smol red string pops out.

PLOT Anbus are obligated to severe the link because it'd be dangeroustm, Because they can feel what their soulmate feels. Not wanting to leave without a goodbye, Hound approach Iruka that he has to do it and that it's not what he wants. Not really but kinda too, because he doesn't want Iruka to feel the pain of what Anbu on a dangeroustm mission would feel. Iruka begged him not to because he had lost his parents and not his soulmate too. There's nothing they could do. Iruka saying "If you wanna leave then fine! If you're only gonna hurt me and leave me then i wished I never met you in the first place! I wished I don't have someone like you as a soulmate!" (i'm crying rn).

Both of them are sad about it. Iruka regrets saying it, Kakashi makes it the reason he stays away from Iruka cuz he thinks he's right.

Iruka never knew what happened to Hound, he never visit again. Iruka deeply regrets it, and he wears his severed link proudly. (It turns brown like dried blood when severed). He's hella sad that Hound might hate him, worse, if he's dead.

Iruka tries to move on, then out of the crack of nowhere, Naruto's new genin team teacher, THE last Hatake seems to be making excuses to approach him??? (idk how it'll end, depends on whether or not i'm making a full fic of this one.)

Soulmates 🌸

[ddejavvu]

hello i was the anon who sent in the soccer coach hotch hcs!! I've just watched S7EP1 and HELLO I HAVE MORE IDEAS

BEARDED HOTCH?! I JUST ABOUT DIED 🥵 HOW IS HE SO FINE??

Anyways continuing along with the same theme being his girl, can you imagine

You and Jack Skype everyday with him and you can literally see the progression of clean shaven to beard

You didn't think he could get any better looking but then he's got the scruff and he's grumpier over there and you feel bad and would much rather he be here with you but holy hell has the desert made him hotter

You don't get much opportunity to do anything really but the few chances you do get to have some phone action, it's quick and desperate, you're whimpering into the phone, fingers rubbing furiously at your clit as he tells you how he's going to spread you open and lap at your pussy until you've made puddles on the bed and his new beard is going to be soaked with your juices, how he cannot wait to feel your velvety walls surround his cock

You can hear the squelch of his hand as he pulls it up and down, fast and hard, he's grunting into the phone as you moan his name, trying to stay quiet but just too worked up to be silent

"so desperate f'me, aren't you, sweetheart? that little pussy needs her fill of cum, she misses me, huh?"

"stuff in another finger, angel, jus' like that, you can take it, hm? gonna be a good girl f'me, i know you are"

You're whining and rubbing as fast as you can, your clit practically on fire, the coil in your abdomen spiraling tighter and tighter - "please, Aaron, please I need to cum, I need more"

He grunts in return and his hand speeds up, twisting at head of his cock, just like you would do in your hand jobs

"Cum for me, pretty girl, imagine I'm there, tonguing that pretty pussy, nosing that gorgeous clit, beard rubbing all over your thighs, lemme hear you, gorgeous, let go, c'mon"

You both come with a whispered shouts, panting into the phone, fingers now languidly stroking

"wish you were here, Aaron, I miss you" your voice cracks at the end, the intensity of your orgasm feeds into the emotions

"i miss you too, sweetheart, I wish I could be there with you too" his heart aches that he can't see or hold you but he hangs with promises to call tomorrow and to be safe as always

Not two seconds later, his phone rings again and it's Morgan telling him they've got Doyle

"you ready to come home, man?" "nothing is going to stop me now"

(Eeek, I've never really written anything NSFW before but I wanted to share with ya, hope it's okay 🙈)

this post is 18+, minors dni.

babe. bearded hotch could eat me out anyday i know the beard burn from that would be phenomenal.

Jack squints at him when the beard finally becomes recognizable he's like daddy :/ shave :/ and hotch is like hey !! i thought it looked good !!

HNNGGH PHONE SEX WITH AARON YES YES YES >>> YOU'RE BOTH TRYING TO KEEP QUIET SO NO ONE HEARS YOU SKJNSF shut up hearing his hand move that is. jesus.

"he tells you how he's going to spread you open and lap at your pussy until you've made puddles on the bed and his new beard is going to be soaked with your juices" did you consider that this could have me foaming at the mouth. frothing at the clit, perhaps? mother of god i want that man. I literally fucking loathe dirty talk and for some reason this had me gripping the sheets. You’ve done it you’ve convinced me.

"Cum for me, pretty girl, imagine I'm there, tonguing that pretty pussy, nosing that gorgeous clit, beard rubbing all over your thighs, lemme hear you, gorgeous, let go, c'mon" i am barking direCTLY AT IT. i want him to ravage me i am unwell.

no but the night that he comes back jack is all over him, and insists that he sleep between you. so the next night you ship him off to JJ's, and you literally fuck through the night. you don't get any sleep until well into the next morning, and he definitely wakes you up between your thighs 🥴

[separatist-apologist]

answer your asks chop chop

You've sent this ask every day this week. I wasn't going to answer it just to be annoying.

But just for good measure- I wake up to anywhere between 5-10 asks every morning, and they filter in throughout the day. I answer asks I want to ask. It's not personal, but like. I am not robot? And I can't answer every ask most days because I also work or am tired or the ask makes me uncomfortable/i don't know what to say/im not ready to answer it because I'm working on it for a project.

For prompts or lists, I don't think people realize that I don't just slam my hands on the keyboard and words just appear. They take time, sometimes I don't feel like spending an hour + typing up a long, thought out list. So they languish.

People also send me things that make me deeply uncomfortable that I don't want to ask for any number of reasons, or ask questions I don't feel qualified to answer.

I'm never gonna be out here publishing your hyper specific sex story, for example. And I wish people would stop sending me those. I'm also not going to post your rant about why you hate x ship unless it like, speaks to something I want to discuss.

And the reason for that is when I answer, say, one sex ask or one "I hate x ship" ask, I IMMEDIATELY get 8 more. Which is why I was asking that feyre person to stop. One feyre hate ask spirals into 12, spirals into "fuck nesta she's worse" into "okay but how can you say that about nesta but stan elain". And so its easier to ignore it.

and lastly, maybe I didn't answer your ask because you were rude about it, and I don't like being talked to like a dog. Did you consider that? that whatever ask you sent that I ignored (and I could guess) because you wrote it to me like I'm the golden retriever you're trying to train and there are other people who like, are funnier and nicer that I'd rather talk to?

Anyway. As a reminder, an AI could never be half as funny, which is proof I am a real person and sometimes as a real person I am tired or not "on" or just I don't know? Tired of writing for the day. I see your asks, and for the majority of them, even if I don't respond, it's never because I hate what you wrote or I think you're awful or not funny or it was a bad ask. I just run out of capacity sometimes.

[jjk-anime-horray]

A Call in the Night

Dazai Osamu x reader x Oda Sakunosuke

Series Summary: While Dazai finally gets over the death of his friend and moves on with his life, he has to watch him unnaturally return into the world, and now he has to watch him turn twisted and into everything he hated in a way.

Chapter Summary: The Armed Detective Agency gets a call about an warehouse incident that happened in the middle of the night, and send two detectives to respond to it.

Notice: This fic series is going to have some dark themes in it so be warned, and in this AU Dazai and the reader are members of the armed detective agency, and this is a spiritual successor to “Late Night Tickets, and Meeting Him.” So I recommend reading that first even though you don’t need to. This is going to be a series!

Trigger Warnings: Blood, mentions of extreme violence, and description of illegal activities.

Getting a call about a mandatory and emergency investigation in the middle of the night, to be specific 2:32am, was something no one at the Armed Detective Agency wanted to do. So what's the most logical solution? Draw straws and the two people who draw the shortest are forced to go.

Unfortunately for you, you were one of the two unfortunate souls that drew a short straw. At least the other person who drew the short straw was Dazai Osamu, your coworker but most importantly the first friend you made in this city, so maybe you would be able to get a kick out of the bad situation at hand.

But when the two of you emerged from an alley to meet the crime scene at hand, that would by no means be the case because by the sight of the horror that layed out infront of you two it was enough for the both of you want to hurl.

Crime scene would describe the atrocity in front of as much as the phrases bloodbath and massacre would. No wonder this was an emergency for the ADA there were probably more than 30 people dead killed in various atypical ways.

First walking into the warehouse the most out of the ordinary sight would be a round wooden table with a duffle bag on it, but once someone took a closer look the rest of the ware house was completely empty other than the congealing crimson liquid that was pooling everywhere.

The five chairs around rickety table were matched with four bodies of executives of some sort laid face down on the table or dangling of the chairs.

But the most appalling sight was what was inside the duffle-bag, you were wishing it would be something tame like left behind money, however, much to your displeasure, they where severed off human heads. That by the looks of it were cut off with some sort of serrated knife my the edge markings.

"What are you thinking (Y/N)?" Were the words that Dazai spoke to snap you out of your spiraling train of thought. "I sure as hell am thinking this isn't the way I would have wanted to go."

"I'll have to agree with you on that one, this shit is something right out of a cheesy crime or horror movie.The only thing I can think of is the heads were a message of some kind to the people who were sitting at the table, and either the person at the empty seat with accomplices who killed everyone or are the only survivor, but it could be either. Were you able to identify anyone bodies or do you recognize anyone?"

"I don't recognize anyone, and most of the bodies are too mangled to be identified, but everyone at the table is wearing a customized Rolex, so I suspect that they were all executives of a organization of some kind, probably an illegal on based on all the gun men that were probably guarding the meeting before they got taken out."

"The only lead we have is the Rolex I guess, so Daz, will you take one for reference, we can visit all of the watch makers in the city to try to find out who was the person who commissioned these watches to be made, and then maybe through that we kind find out who the soul survivor was."

"Agreed."

Honestly the two of you would have been a little more playful and chatty if the events that took place tonight weren't so gruesome. The two of you were used to having to see and do brutal things, but Dazai had this gut feeling that this wasn't the typical violent act, and things weren't as the seemed.

The brown eyed detective just wanted to go take a nap after this, which was something you also wanted to do after see all the blood. Deciding to leave the true start to your investigation for a decent time the two of you swiftly communicated with the responders about the potential situation at hand. Then left to go deal with is mess the next day.

Timeskip........

After a horrible night's sleep and about three cups of coffee you were finally able to be semi-functional, so then you decided to grab your partner Dazai after dressing to impress and make for the horrible mood you currently were in from multiple factors. Dazai was even in a worse state than you where, you found him at the trying to convince Kunikida to go on the investigation for him, which was ultimately denied by the blonde haired man. Also leaving you to drag the genius yet idiotic maniac out of the office.

Walking down the streets in-between visiting different watchmakers and jewelers, you noticed some was off each time your boots hit the ridged pavement. In particular something about Dazai, his face was contorted into a being in deep thought, not to be disturbed for any reason. It was so out of character you were going to ask what he was thinking about, but then opted out.

"I know you were going to ask what I was thinking, I am a detective you know." He said his face morphing into one not of deep thought but of cockiness with a smirk. Damn, sometimes you really loved and hated that smirk, but right now you didn't know what to think of it. "I was just thinking of how now I know exactly who made the watches, and where is is for your information."

"Really who would that be? For my information."

"His name is Opāru Shokunin, he's done a lot of custom jewelry for Elise-chan and the port mafia in the past, but recently he's been doing a lot of foreign commissions for gangs and syndicates outside of Japan my word of mouth. When I first saw the watches I was initially reminded of how it looked like his handy work, but since the first three places we've visited were a bust, i'm confident it's him."

"Alright Mr. Mic-cocky, lead the way by all means." You scoughed lightly.

Unfortunately for the two of you, your desired destination was all the way across yokohama, so you had to hail a taxi which you knew you were going to be the one paying or it. The icing on the shitty cake was that you got stuck in rush hour traffic, so, the total time until arrival was three time longer than it should have been. At least you got dibs on the radio choice.

When the two of you arrived at your desired destination you now witnessed a normal looking office building, unfortunately, there was no elevator so the two of you had to work your legs up three flights of stairs to make it to Opāru's workshop.

Before you went in however you whispered to Dazai "how do we know he's even gonna be willing to talk to us?"

"He's going to be willing...."

"Why?"

"Simple you're gonna pay him."

"Um no you're going to pay him because I payed for the cab!"

"Um no."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"You realize I can hear you two bickering right?" was the raspy voice of the man you were looking for that ended your whisper argument. He was actually younger than you expected, about 38, but he looked older than his body by his eyes, the eyes of someone very worn out. Which would explain the smoking. "He's right i'll talk if you pay me, just come in before ya give everyone else a headache."

The two of you swiftly made your way into the working man's shop room. The room was a lot nicer than you thought it would be, and a lot lighter too. The man possessed a very nice view from his wall because his wall was almost completely filled with by windows. Dazai did mention something about the craftsmen liking natural light in the cab on the way here, so it wasn't too surprising and really lightened the room up.

You followed Dazai to the two chairs across from the white tufted sofa that Opāru was already occupying. Then Dazai placed the watch and a thick wad of cash on the coffee table separating the two parties of people.

"Oh, so you're here to ask who paid me to customize this for them? No surprise there they were particularly nasty."

"How where they particularly nasty?"

"I'm pretty sure that they were doing things even nastier than the port mafia, like taking kids of the streets and shipping them off."

"So, supposedly by word of mouth were human traffickers."

" Yeah, supposedly, but I didn't ask when the guy approached me."

"The guy?" You reconfirmed.

"Yeah, the guy, he had this weird tattoo on his wrist. The guy's name was Zinnnnnng, THUMP.

The two of you didn't even have time to blink or create when the bullet zipped through the head of the craftsman from. The crimson liquid from his head pooling on the couch were he was just alive a few seconds ago. The blood seeping into the fabric like the disparity of situation into Dazai and yourself.

Glimpsing out middle window now tainted with a hole you see the silhouette of the person responsible for this.

Dashing up without a second thought you sprint to pursue the culprit of the murder that just took place infront of you. Eyeing your target through the broken window.

Ahhhhhhh! Okay I’m literally really proud of how this came out! I’m really hope people like it. I’m really new to writing full fanics so if any experienced writer is reading this will you please give some pointers, that would be very helpful!

-Ellie

[lovenona]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT ADELE IM LIKE CRYING. Like oh my god I looked forward for so long to this reunion and you went above my expectations and then PH MY GPS LIKE I CANNOT GET OVER THIS CRUSHING WEIGHT I FEEL. The two star crossed lovers meeting again but their reunion is nothing like the myths or the legends. Just oh my god okay I don’t even know where to begin I was literally yelling the entire time I was reading this new chapter! (1/4)

The parable of the cave. CHOSO god I love him so much 🥰🥰 but okay the whole dream Sequence- geto being the moon and sukuna being the sun- god your mind!!!! At first I know for a fact 💯 that toji is suppose to be the 4th son coming to bring it all down. Or at least I thought so until we get to part 8. And god the way you write angst literally leaves me with a pit in my chest and the urge to yell at both of these characters. (2/4)

God this chapter left me spiraling. I love the way you portray the readers / tojis relationship. It feels as if it was doomed for the start- with toji thinking too big for the dreams he had had reader not thinking big enough. In a way there’s a balance but right now toji is not himself and cannot be the balance that the reader needs. Again you blew me away I can’t believe the odyssey is almost over 😔 Like this chapter left me speechless I feel as though my brain is scrambling to make sense of all the things toji has been though, the unresolved anguish the reader feels about him and the impending doom that is this new captain! I’m most definitely gonna do a little rereading to look over what I missed cause I could not put my phone down. -🥸

[SOBBING AND CRYING] THANK U 😭 i am not exaggerating when i say i am always looking forward to ur hot takes whenever i update and u never disappoint 😭 i was looking forward to writing this reunion from the moment mahito was like Hey in part 2 and GODDDDD i wish i cld keep writing it there was so much stuff i wanted to add that didn’t make it in (read: toji and mc go ‘hunting for boars’ one night, mc and toji staring longingly at each other as they walk on the beach, mc and toji at the old woman’s stall, etc. etc. etc) but i am obsessed with the vibes of their tragic past and their sort of doomed romance and whatever so what can u do (unsolicited odyssey music: the song i played 500 times (no joke) to manifest the flashbacks) 

(also CHOSO....i mf love interlude 3 but let me tell u it took me like 10 years to write it because i wrote it, hated it, went on hiatus, and then rewrote completely differently later KSGJSG....but the line in part 8 when u go onto the ship that was like ‘even sound doesn’t echo off the walls’ or whatever was a line from my shitty version of interlude 3 RIP)

as for ur delightful guesswork i cannot confirm or deny anything in the spirit of leaving u all on ur toes but i really like the big brain activity going on here !!!!! we will eventually find out the answers to most of those things tho so sit tight 😌 (i decided not to publish that ask because some of it is pretty darn close so don’t tell SKGJSGS but also i feel that some of it is quite obvious RIP) 

and god i know....i am genuinely distraught that there r only 2 big parts left...granted they will both be long as fuck but STILL i have no idea what I'm going to do with myself when it’s all done 😭 this and this r the themes for part 9 tho and let me tell u it will genuinely crush my soul to have to write down what is going to be written every day i ask my brain why we r about to do what i have planned <//3

but anyway thank u for letting me ramble and THANK U SO MUCH FOR ALL UR INPUT AND BIG BRAIN THEORIES 😭 i've been rereading these all weekend it makes my heart SO HAPPY I HOPE U HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER

[makeste]

I was originally going to send this message declaring my undying love for your metas and chapter reviews aND THEN - AND THEN MAKESTE - I READ THE ANSWER WHERE YOU SAID YOU WERE ARO AND THAT MAKES ME SOOOOO HAPPY. I'm aroace and it is SO FRUSTRATING to want to consume platonic or familial interaction between people and CONSTANTLY only get romantic or sexual. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU CONTRIBUTE

woooo up top! solidarity lol.

for me it’s like... I don’t know if “frustrating” is the word I would use, but I do wish there was more gen out there. and that’s also something I’ve felt awkward about wanting in the past, because my early fandom years took place in a time where slash was much less of an everyday commonplace thing than it is now, and liking it was still a fairly controversial thing. the internet was a much more openly homophobic place than it is now. like, picture the purity police of modern day tumblr, but if they attacked any kind of non-heterosexual relationship as being sick and perverted and wrong. that was pretty much the general vibe. this was before AO3, and people who wrote slash often didn’t post it on ff.net and only posted it to their own private blogs and/or locked and moderated communities instead just so they wouldn’t be harassed. and there was absolutely no canon representation out there at all, or next to none. it was very much a “[rolls eyes] oh the yaoi fangirls are at it again” sort of thing where non-cishet relationships in fiction and fanfiction were at best not taken seriously at all, and at worst were treated with outright scorn and disgust.

and so like, with this being a common attitude at the time, I felt guilty for not always wanting to read slash myself. like, I don’t mind reading about romantic relationships at all, but for me there also has to be some other kind of element in play as well, or else it’s just not going to click for me. if a fic is just romance, just a lot of pining and slow burn stuff without anything else really going on in the plot, I just get bored and disinterested. I almost want to use the word tired, even though I’m not sure that makes much sense. I just can’t connect to the emotions, and so I disengage pretty quickly. and so I tend to steer clear of time-honored fandom staples like coffee shop AUs or And They Were Roommates, just because for me there’s rarely anything there for me to latch onto. I like angst, but I can’t relate to “so and so doesn’t feel the same way about me”, or “I want to be with them so bad but I don’t know how to confess”, or “they’re with someone else and it hurts like crazy every time I see them and know we can’t be together”, because none of those are emotions that I have ever personally felt, and I just can’t make myself feel them. what I can relate to are things like “this person makes me feel safe”, or “I feel a strong connection to this person”, or “I trust this person more than anyone else” because those feelings aren’t exclusively romantic in nature. I can relate to closeness and caring and love and affection and trust, but what I can’t relate to is the feeling of having a single person occupy all of your thoughts all the time, and very badly wanting to be the most important thing in their life as well, and feeling incomplete otherwise.

but anyway I spiraled away from the point I was trying to get to, which is that for a long time I actually felt guilty about feeling this way. because even though it’s rare to find fanworks where gen/platonic relationships are at the center, actual canon is chock full of said relationships. and so it’s like, what right do I even have to complain when I get to read all the time about so and so being friends, but the people who actually want them to be in a relationship in the actual canon so rarely get to see that actually happen. because that much has not changed in the past 20 years, even though society has become far more accepting of LGBTQ+ relationships. most canons are still far more likely to tease a non-hetero ship -- on purpose, even, hence why queerbaiting is a thing -- than actually commit to it. and so I often feel like I have no right to voice my desire for more genfic, because genfic has never faced the same kind of scrutiny as slashfic. gen has always been acceptable, and there is plenty of canon representation of platonic and non-romantic relationships, and so it’s not something I have any business whining about.

and even now I feel fairly uncomfortable voicing this lol. I write almost exclusively genfic myself, and up until very recently, I’ve always defined gen in my head as being just a lack of romantic or sexual content, rather than being its own distinct category. I think that’s one of the reasons it took me so long to realize I was aro (that, and I’d honestly never even come across the term until just a few years ago). for me, my lack of interest in romantic affection always felt more like a lack of identity rather than an identity in and of itself. I always felt like I was missing something. and for a very long time it never occurred to me that this might be a permanent thing; I just figured, okay, I just haven’t had this feeling yet. it just hasn’t happened for me yet. but eventually it would, and I just hadn’t met the right person, or whatever. but it was never anything I particularly wanted, and I never felt like I was missing out on anything by not having it. I never felt any kind of longing for it or felt incomplete without it. I was actually perfectly content!

but because society treats romantic orientation as the norm and places such a huge emphasis on it, I still had the uncomfortable feeling in the back of my head that if I never fell in love with someone and never wound up having a relationship with someone, my life would somehow be less meaningful and whole. like, we’re raised to think that romantic love is basically the pinnacle of the human experience, the purest and truest emotion that anyone can feel. and at the same time, there’s this idea that a life without that kind of love is just sad and unfulfilling and tragic. and so for a very long time my experience with my own aromanticism was characterized by me thinking of it as a lack of something that everyone else said was very important. and it took a long time to realize that that wasn’t the case, and that it was a valid orientation all its own and not just a matter of me being deficient in some way. and that was actually such a relief to finally come to terms with. I can be whole and complete on my own and still have a rich and fulfilling human experience even if I never experience romantic love, and that’s fine. I’m not missing anything. I’m not wrong for feeling like I’m not missing anything. it’s fine to be content with just me as I am. like, holy shit. and that was such a weight off my shoulders to finally get that.

I once wrote a fic which I was and still am very proud of. it was a genfic, and it had a really intricate plot with a big twist at the very end. and there was a ton of emotion in it, and it got very intense at times, because these were two characters who cared a lot about each other and would literally die for each other if they had to, and I’d put them in a situation where that possibility was very much looming over their heads at every turn. and I really put everything I had into trying to convey that kind of bond as strongly as possible. like I poured a ton of my heart and soul into that fic. and the responses were almost universally positive and kind and made me really happy.

there was one response though, that still sticks with me to this day. it was by and large very positive, just like the others. but it ended with a single sentence that, at the time, kind of just lowkey gutted me. Not gonna lie though, would have loved some slash in there.

like, that just cut me. way more than this person actually intended, I think. I’m pretty sure they just meant it as an offhanded comment, not even a concrit or anything. just “haha would have loved it if they’d kissed though lol.” but it stung. because this was something I’d put every ounce of emotion that I could conjure up into. and even though it wasn’t mean to be hurtful in any way, to me that comment read as “this is still missing something.” because there was no romance, the fic was incomplete. the characters’ feelings were incomplete. even though I’d struggled so much to convey all of these complex emotions which to me were so real and powerful, and even though the comment even acknowledged that I had by and large done so effectively, to me the single takeaway that stuck was that the feelings were less meaningful because there was no romance.

and that felt like a failing on my part. I even apologized for it. and here we are, ten years later, and that comment still pops up in my head any time I feel the urge to talk about a popular ship which I support but which I also enjoy as just a friendship. “just” a friendship. I still feel guilt over that. I still feel this urge to overexplain that I’m not trying to invalidate the actual romantic ship. I worry that I’d be perceived as ungrateful and/or a bad ally if I ever just came out and said “I wish there was more gen” like you were able to say so freely, anon. I worry about people getting offended if I were to say “I headcanon so and so as being aroace” because it might be viewed as an attack on their ships, or as latent homophobia, or something. like I have this paranoid fear that people might take it as me being puritanical and all “oh no, icky sex” or whatever, and so I end up just never bringing it up at all.

and that’s the thing about aromanticism, though; it’s so easy to just never talk about it at all, because for so many people it is just defined as a lack of something, rather than a something all on its own. it’s so easy for it to be something you just never bring up, and which just kind of quietly exists as the boring, bland, inoffensive yet uninteresting lack of a relationship; the default blank slate that most everyone is dying to fill in as soon as possible, except for you. and I’ve gone on thinking about it that way myself for so long that I’m still struggling now to sort out how to embrace it as an actual identity. it’s something I still have a lot of work to do on I guess.

anyway! so that all got very long and rambling and personal, far more so than I intended; clearly I have a lot of pent up thoughts and feelings about this lol. I guess I probably could stand to talk about it more, since the evidence would indicate that I clearly want to. but eh, baby steps. but anyways you are super valid anon and thank you so much for the love and comments. <3

[marveloussupernerd]

Could I get a matchup with marvel (male characters)? I'm a female with freckles, green eyes and dyed orange/yellow hair with an undercut.

I am a Sagittarius (tho I don't really belive in that sort of stuff) and have a mediator personality on the Briggs scale.

I love to bake and sew and draw... Basically anything where I get to create something.

I constantly crave affection (but will never admit to that)I really love cuddling, and am definitely touch starved but anyone who knows that has figured it out themselves. Because for some reason my brain thinks I don't deserve any of it.

I am way too nice to everyone, even at my own expense and tend to Bury my emotions when I am in pain. I have Depression and some anxiety and tend to worry about if anyone I know actually likes me while simultaneously thinking that I don't deserve anyone to love me. I also tend to go into self hatred spirals that make me try to isolate myself (and do some other stuff that's not so good for me).

Anyway thanks in advance if you do answer this :)

Hi literally I’m sorry this took me forever but thank you for waiting 🥺

I ship you with Thor!

A reminder I do these with my sister

And we read this and both were like ...literally Thor

So it’s 100%

He LOVES your freckles

Like they make you look even more cute ? If that’s even possible

Mediator personality is quite ideal bc

You’re gonna have to deal with a lot of stupid petty family fights between him and Loki

Loki LOVES YOU btw

He just thinks you’re so cool and fun to hang around

And has no clue why you’re dating his brother

Pls teach Thor how to bake 🥺

Whenever one of you is having a bad day he’s like let’s make cookies :D

It’s very therapeutic

You usually get sidetracked though dancing or singing to the songs on your playlist

Or bc Thor makes a huge mess and cracks a whole egg into the batter, eggshells and all

Thinks it’s so cool that you sew too !

He tears his clothes way more often than the average person so

It’s good you can help fix it for him

He’ll pay you back with cuddles

This man is always giving words of affirmation

Especially when you’re cuddling

He’s always telling you how great you are, what he likes about you, how pretty you are, how talented you are, how sweet you are, even to Loki, which is quite challenging

Especially when you feel like you don’t deserve it

The second you voice those thoughts you’re in his arms, on his lap, getting a million kisses and compliments

He loves kissing you on the head

Makes him feel like a protector. Like he can keep you safe

Always asks how your day was

Encourages you to complain about small things that you might think are stupid

It’s nice to complain about those sorts of things, especially when you’re one of those people who likes to see others happy, even if it means at your own expense

Works really hard to try and get you to explore your emotions

Talk through what’s upsetting you and stuff

If not though... that’s okay

He’ll try again tomorrow. He understands that’s not something you’ll always want to do

If you do break down, he’s here for you

With tissues and brownies and hugs

If you need to be left alone, he can do that too

Although it breaks his heart that he can’t help you

He’ll work on setting up something fun like a pillow fort or something for when you’re feeling better

Anything to make you feel happy and worthy

He wishes he could take your pain for you

When he sees you so upset with yourself... he can’t help but cry

He just feels so helpless if there’s nothing he can do for you

He can tell when you’re in one of those states

When that happens... he won’t leave you alone

He’ll sit next to you, in silence if you want, and rub your back soothingly until you start to feel better, or tired, or just anything at all

Blames himself if you hurt yourself

Because he wasn’t able to be there for you. Not good enough

You’ll have to comfort him a little too... which may be challenging given the circumstances

It’s usually a day of crying and cuddling and movies after that

If you ever need anyone to talk to, my DMs are always open for you

And if Thor was irl, he’d be here for you too, in the good and the bad ❤️

[tvshowfreak]

Here is what I meant about the parallel post. Say from cris pov. The first thing she should have said was I'm sorry if I made you stress an over think. I just had so much on my mind. Because this time around it was here time to apologize. She should have came in knowing thats the first thing I have to say. Your pov lacked cris admitting she screwed up. Which makes it seem like cris doesn't have anything to be sorry for. An if cris really thinks that in that moment. Than she is truly messed up

She is messed up! This whole situation is messed up, her whole life at the moment is messed up! She’s young and going a through a fucking lot. Like if I was in her place, just getting outed at school and receiving homophobic insults I would’ve already been in a complete break down, without adding on everything else.

I wasn’t implying that Cris wasn’t in the wrong with the way she acted and is still acting, I was trying to analyze why she is acting that way. I wasn’t giving my personal opinion about the matter, I was truly trying to be in Cris’s head, not mine or Joana’s. Saying in the post that Cris should’ve apologized would’ve been beside the point since Cris herself doesn’t think she should’ve. That’s an outsider perspective, not Cris’s.

Like I know it’s hard to not see Joana as the main victim because she has an illness and therefore she is more vulnerable than Cris BUT Cris is also a victim in this, her life in a couple of weeks has been going to shit from every side. 

And the fact that she doesn’t realize how she’s hurting Joana is what really intrigued me in her. Because to a lot of us it seems pretty obvious how she has hurt her, but she seems completely oblivious or in denial to it. But knowing her character and how fucking in love she is with Joana , even if she can’t quite realize it yet, I can’t possibly believe that she is hurting Joana on purpose and then dismissing it completely. And if she doesn’t realize that she’s hurting her she obviously doesn’t think she has anything to apologize for. 

Keep remembering that everything she’s going through right now is a lot to process in such a short time. And if you pay attention you realize that for two weeks she keeps having the same conversation with her friends over and over again, these scenes are nice parallels too. You can tell that she’s stuck in the same spiral of insecurities  “does she love me? Does she not?” “did she get bored of me?” “I am just a phase?” “I am just a thing she latched on to?” etc, etc…

The only person at this point that can answer any of these questions is Joana. And Cris came to park waiting for answers and some sense to put on all of it. She didn’t come there to be in empathy with Joana, she came there for reassurance. Now of course at that moment she is being completely selfish, and maybe somewhere that’s also part of her personality, just like it’s part of each of us. We’re are more or less selfish, depending on our life’s events, our personalities, our self image, our mood or simply the situation we’re in. 

Going back to everything Cris went through from the very start is important to understand how she got to that point of not being able to get out of her own head and her own feelings to start trying to understand Joana’s. 

The way Cris is feeling and acting is not coming out of thin air, and it can’t be resolved in hours or even days just because Joana is spiraling herself. Some people just aren’t capable of taking care or understanding others if they’re feeling lost themselves. And Cris has never been so lost in her life, every aspect of it apart from her friends is being changed for the worst.

I know it’s hard not to be disappointed when a character that you love or at least that you tolerate because she’s one half of the ship, doesn’t react or act the way you wish they did - but at the same time I find it so realistic. I think so many people, me included, would be so fucking lost in the same situation. Maybe they wouldn’t act like Cris, maybe they would, but I sure as hell think that they wouldn’t act exactly like they think Cris should’ve acted. As much as we wanna believe that we would find the exact right words and that it would be easy, I personally think it wouldn’t - even more so if it’s someone you love, if it’s brand new and if you’re not in a state of mind to be empathetic. 

Now, all that I just wrote was 300% biased contrary to my first post on Cris’s pov. Because that’s my personal opinion that was build and nourished by analyzing Cris. Like, I fucking love her, in all insecurities, her mistakes and imperfections I find her fascinating. The writers weren’t scared to make flawed characters and I fucking love that, it makes the whole story so much more interesting and intense and real.

The complexity of their characters and their relationship is so fucking beautiful, so much that for the life of me I cannot just stay in basic state of mind of who’s right and who’s wrong and what they should’ve done or what they shouldn’t have. 

Rewriting the story and how it would’ve gone in a perfect world where everyone is saying exactly what they’re supposed to when they’re supposed to say it isn’t that interesting to me, at least when it comes to this particular ship. Trying to understand why the writers chose to tell that story that way is what intrigues me, how they build the characters personalities and how that build up as lead to those interactions.

I so wish I could do the same pov post with Joana, I wish we knew her story and that we could back to the start to understand how she also got there, at that point, in that park, spiraling completely. I so wish we had side of the story. My delusional mind is hoping for Joana season but of course it won’t happen, it’s either gonna be Nora or maybe Viri if they’re bold. But I think the boldest move would be to show the day to day life of a teen with BPD, that would be so fucking interesting ughhh

Anyhooo, I got carried away a bit again sorry 😅Emotionally troubled lesbians in love and their drama just have that effect on me ✌️

[captainshazamerica]

Yeah it's the same anon 💜 dude my apologies for the amount of crap I've spewed in your ask box but in my defense no one I know gives a shit about batfam or gotham rogues or Alfred (I've gushed here about alfreds fabulousness too opps) anndd I partly blame you for me falling back into the titans trap cuz s1 was meh I forgot I even watched s2 😅 then I seen some titans stuff on your blog and boom my brain latched onto it and now here I am experiencing maternal fear for my son jason 😢you are 1000% right this jason is PERFECTION as robin like actual perfection I dunno why but I thought this robin was like 16? So I was thinkin how tf is 16/17 yo supposed to be redhood!? It work in comics/cartoon but live action 16 y/o redhood seems meh I kinda want the lazarus pit just I freakin want TALIA but I don't think that's gonna happen I dunno

Tbh (this may be biased) but I think the Gotham tv show is literally the best dc comics adaptation of anything ever! it is superior to all thier shows movies animations and the arrowverse at least in my books lol

Tumblr is my only form of 'social media' and I don't keep up with updates or anything about shows cuz I like to pretend the fiction is real and I don't want reality wrecking that for me like hahahaa so I had no clue about timmy or babs but I'm so happy

DUDE YES this is literally the only time I can see bruce ever killing the joker on screen aww please I want it so bad I mean they probably won't but they should cuz this is the only capacity in which batman can kill the joker live action like if down the line somewhere on another show/movie bruce killed joker he prob wouldn't be dead dead or they'd bring him back some way so the kill wouldn't even matter but old bruce killing the joker because he's finally had enough he's old now, jasons death finished him and he's not gonna be batman anymore it's a nice end for batman and the joker, it's the only way we'll ever get this end cuz like you said they'll never have the balls to permanently kill joker any other way in live action everything is aligning perfectly for this to happen so dang dc just freakin let it happen c'mon

Yo whose your first fav rogue? Is it riddler? I feel like mines riddler haven't really thought much about whose my fav gotham rogue but I'd probably say riddler, I prefer the central city rogues but the Gotham rogues are just pure chaos and I'm living for that hahaa

I'd rather superheros/vigilantes/villians in live action not have relationship drama just put them in a relationship or dont like I came for the action and weird super shit not the ordinary relationship drama thankfully titans seem to be doing okay in this aspect I do quite like dickkory a lot but I mean in the supergirl show ughhh I was like I came here for the flying and the dope laser eyes I don't give a shit about her getting a boyfriend like seriously whyyy

My brain decides to jump about obsessing over characters like one week Kory is my wife next week detective grayson is my husband and I AM NIGHTWING then my brain is like no Barbara kean is wifey just basically fictionally I'm married to everyone 😅

Yikes this was so long sorry girl

Omg, pls don't apologize! I get so dang excited whenever i get an ask, yours always make my day, you don't even know! Like same about no one i know caring about dc/batfam! And talking to someone about it is so much better than yelling into the wind here on a text post that no one reads xD Don't stop sending your asks whenever you wanna dump your feels/talk about dc/batfam omg.

And Im so proud I got you into this Titans spiral xD My work here is done hahahaha. But yes, I feel like his looking so young for red hood over shadows how great his jason robin performance was! Love seeing him get that recognition! But yeah, the age is def off, like I cant remember how old they said he was in the show, maybe 16? but too young for red hood in live action form. Like its hard cause in reality 16 year olds and 19 year old boys typically don't look too different, for the most part, while comics you can get get away with it more. Huh, yeah, it doesn't seem like Talia is gonna happen, maybe just maybe a cameo or something? Cause we also weren't expecting joker but here we are(tho it almost looks like he wont be a big plot point/even see him much, it almost looks like it is just showing how brutal gotham is? But like its just the trailer and doesnt always give the full picture so who knows!)

Omg YES about Gotham! I 1000% agree! Im also biased cause its what got me into batman, again like exactly a year ago! It got me into the world like no other media of dc had before!(well, Shazam did, i guess tech thats the start of my interest in dc/first time i read the comics, but gotham is what really got me into this spiral). I hate how much hate it gets, like yeah its not perfect and they took creative liberties obviously, but i 100% agree that its the best adoption of DC yet! 100%! Its so nice to see the characters and rogues fleshed out more. I feel like it successfully did what Nolan tried to do in terms of making it dark and realistic, but in a way that was more accurate and true to the comics! I wish it wasn’t canceled so early and thus the last season had to be so rushed :(

thats smart, i typically dont look for spoilers and stuff anymore but I just got so hyper focused that I had to look at least what the stars were putting out on social media, but yeah, i use to get so caught up in all that that it took the fun out of seeing it live.

Oh my gosh, that would seriously be the PERFECT end to batman and joker story in this universe omg. Amen about all that! And like it would hopefully show Jason how much he cares? So maybe Bruce would kill him after red hood emerges? It will be interesting to see hat causes Jason to be so dang pissed in this version.

ahaha yes riddler is my fav! (my header gave it away didn’t it xD) I love most Riddlers but ESPECIALLY gotham riddler, Ed is like one of my fav character of all time. Oooh, I don’t know central city rogues all that well(well, way more than Metropolis rogues, I know so little about superman world), like I know some from the first 3 and a half seasons of the flash (I watched a couple years ago but got busy with school and couldn’t keep up and just never caught up/didnt have motivation to finish(plus i forgot so much id have to rewatch everything again), but I saw they finally just introduced Bart Allen, so I have have to randomly jump back in for a bit cause Bart is one of my favsss), and the ones in the cartoons and stuff

Ha! true, i dont mind it when its for character development or if I happen to be super into the ship(like Nygmakins in Gotham omg, I know they are super unpopular but they are like one of my OTPs omg), I feel like it has to be balanced right/not too much focus on the drama of the relationship over everything else. Like a minor subplot is good but don’t make it the focus of the show. And yeah , supergirl never appealed to me cause of that reason! i like drama and not JUST action (I like psychological drama, as long as there is comfort to follow xD) but yea i get what u mean by too much relationship focus . I think, for the most part, Gotham did that pretty well.

omg i love the disaster bi vibes you are giving off xD But omg I feel the jumping around thing so much ahaha. Like right now the 4 robins are constantly on rotation on who I’m obsessing over at the moment tbh xD

Omg mine responses are just as long, don’t apologize!!!! <333333333333333

[7goodangel]

I'm new here, sorry to bother, but why won't answer any paperfresh questions?

Warning: Long post so yeah... hence why the read more o-o

(From Blog Description)

(From FAQ)

But... I’m gonna add slightly more detail to this - cause then I can just link this exact ask/answer to my description for more detail. 

So yeah... It’s not really the full ‘ship’ that I dislike. I am... just... meh with this ship if we are just talking about it in general. 

However - what I don’t like was/is how people were so obsessed over it, so focused onto that specific ship that it caused these things (in this order):

Mischaracterization of Fresh and PJ - So yeah - first was this whole thing. At the beginning - it seemed like a fun, yet harmless ship. Both CQ and I saw few things on it, added our two cents, and just continued to observe the fun (at least for me - it just seemed like CQ was doing that too and she’s really chill). It even got to a point where I was trying to see how this ship would actually work. However - this ship kinda brought in a wave of misunderstanding. Which - I don’t know - I was okay with that for PJ since I knew/know that I’m not a popular blog or anyone important so it’s my own fault for not getting all of the info on PJ out there straight away. But for Fresh? I honestly felt like it was my own fault that people were not seeing him as the complex character he is. Gosh have you guys read MommaCQ By Alania? That, at this time, is the closest Fresh that is to the actual Fresh (ya know... without that whole parasite thing). I just felt horrible that Fresh was getting mischaracterized due to my character (who was also getting super misinterpreted). It felt like it was my fault for that whole thing - so I started to not like FreshPaper starting at the peak of all of that mess. Moving from an OTP to a ‘eh it’s okay!’. I am still dealing with this aftermath today. People are seriously getting shocked that Paper isn’t in a canon ship with Fresh. (Examples come from the Undertale AU Amino on quizzes others made on canon PJ [you guys rock for making those quizzes!]):

(still continuing from above)Yeah - these are actual responses to stuff in the quizzes. I also made a quiz in that Amino and majority of the people who have done it (8 at this time cause it’s brand new) did not have a score over 20 (top score is 124... by a user named Paperfresh which gosh that was funny to me! Kudos to you though!) 7 out of 8 couldn’t do it. People outside of Tumblr still think that Canon PJ is a nice, shy, and innocent little 17 year old. Which is far from the truth. Again - people need to understand the difference between AUs and Canon stories for OCs. And that plays a part into this whole thing. 

Tossing any other ships that are not ‘just for fun’ under the bus/Tossing other users under the bus due to shipsNow this was the second wave of stuff that happened, and this happened right after Christmas of last year. Ever since I said “Oh yeah - This character named Omni (by Cereusblue)? PJ likes them. They are in a canon ship.” And gosh... you know what? Those Freshpaper shippers started to slowly ramp up their headcanons on their ship and tried to make it fact. Try to hide that PJ is in a different relationship with Omni than being in a ‘relationship with Fresh’. Let me first say that at first - it seemed like people who followed me were cool with this. From people who hate FreshPaper to loving FreshPaper. They were all cool with the idea that PJ wasn’t going to be with Fresh. OK! Awesomesauce!But then, I saw people complaining to Cereusblue and Askinfresh (an amazing Fresh RPer) about this - even calling them out (which by the way - Askinfresh had nothing to do with this so...?) and tossing them under a metaphorical bus for why their ship now cannot be canon. (which by the way - at this point CQ and I have stressed out enough times that it just won’t happen!)And eventually - there was one user that I have now blocked due to this - but I am going to go into detail about this, that made me just shut down on the whole topic of FreshPaper together. They were the straw on the camel’s back. And it hit right during the time I was trying to finish up my Masters. (fabulous timing there.)But gosh ok this story is long so just a warning:~~~So - I don’t know how it exactly started - but someone mentioned to me that this user (who honestly I loved and respected their work even though it was mostly FreshPaper stuff [and let me go ahead and say no - it’s not the first person you thought of]) was talking about me not only behind my back, but in a different language entirely. And they just kept saying on occasion on how I was the one who ruined FreshPaper, how I didn’t had the “kindness of being a multishipper” and that I was too blinded by this new ship OmniPJ to even notice how amazing Freshpaper is!And just... while this was translated by Google Translate for me - someone later on confirmed that the translation was pretty close to what they said...I just... I guess I snapped? But I took my time to respond to this, had others read it so then I had less of a chance to offend anyone - cause I HATE HATE HATE making other’s feel bad. And I just wanted to explain my side of the story - especially since this wasn’t the first time they tossed me under like that. And after that? What did they do?Cut PJ out of their story, blamed me for their action on that, and just - continued to draw without seeming like it hurt them even though they kept stating ‘how much they were hurt to even think about PJ’. ...DudeI broke down.I extended my hiatus at that time to “TBD”IT HURT me so MUCH to know that someone was SAD, or ANGRY, or just... so frustrated that they go to my face and say “well then I’m removing your character from my story” and then proceeding to put the blame on me when in fact that wasn’t what I was saying at all. I even replied to that comment and after that - I broke down and cried. And I hate to sound like I was exaggerating on this but - any of my close friends would be able to verify that this happened. I went to a table that I haven’t crawled under within a year - and laid there with a blanket, crying, until I just felt numb. It... kinda showed me that I wasn’t ready for any form of hate on the internet - where you kinda need to have a think skin in order to brush off hate. And while generic hate I was able to brush off until that moment - that.. THAT to me was like this:For a whole month, I panicked. I talked to friends on what I should do. Even after soft blocking and fully blocking their blog - I kept going back. Translating questions with the number 7 in them or with PJ in them to make sure they were not still angry about it... which then spiraled me down. I was afraid... afraid that a whole section of people who could only read and speak that language would see me as the devil’s advocate. Yep - I took the bait. And honestly that whole part of me feeling bad for a month was on me. That was entirely my fault. But... I guess this was the first personal attack I had received in my life - so I didn’t know how to handle it.~~~But now? I know better. I have taken that experience and will use what I had learned from it in a similar situation in the future (if that ever happens). Just... know that you will not please everyone even if you try your dang hardest at that. That was me learning that fully in action. However - due to knowing that discussing FreshPaper was behind all of that - and I didn’t want anyone to feel like that EVER - That’s why I took a stand and just said “nope. I am not going to discuss this ship anymore. I will not like any art of this ship (but know I still do appreciate it  and some I bookmark cause it’s so good) but I just need to take this side and stand - not let any more confusion or miscommunication happen.”

And...well... that is the full story of how it became to be a topic I will not discuss again. It’s just do to all of these things piling up on one another until one thing just shattered me.

I honestly thought about deactivating back during that break down. I thought about keeping my blog up for archive reasons, and starting from scratch with a brand new username and not ever bring PJ back again. I thought about possibly only using Tumblr to stay connected with friends I made but never ever do another social media blog again. 

But eh - I decided to keep going! I’m kinda persistent! Or Determined!

Anyway - this was the LONG LONG L O N G explanation of why I don’t answer any FreshPaper Questions. Just... it was due to bad situations and circumstances that just piled up on me until I just couldn’t look at the word “FreshPaper’ in any positive light. 

BUT LET ME JUST SAY:

I am completely fine if you ship FreshPaper. 

It’s 100% ok! 

YOU ship what you WISH to ship! And being a multishipper - I see those Freshpaper ships as alternate timelines! All coexisting at the same time as the canon timeline. 

Just - I wanted you all to know where I am coming from with this ship... and know why I don’t really like it. And sadly - it’s not even about the characters - it’s about the bad experiences within the fandom for me. 

In the end, respect the canon stories that people made for their OCs - whether it’s for OTPs, NOTPs, and BROTPs,. Respect that people can see certain ships work and others not be able to work. 

Let that whole ‘ship war’ thing die already and let’s create an area where people can discuss ships without the fear to be ridiculed, to be driven to insanity, to be harmed physically or mentally about what they ship or not ship. 

And this has gone on long enough! ^^

If you read this far - thank you. And I hope that with seeing things from my perspective, it brought a new angle to this whole shipping thing. At least with the Freshpaper stuff o-oAgain - you can still ship Freshpaper! Go for it! You like it - draw it! Write it! Sing it! Just... make sure you respect those who don’t like it or can’t see why you ship it. And apply that mentality to any ship you have in any fandom! ^^

Hope you all have a fantastic day!

[doctorsupernova-archive]

Ok I'm gonna be really predictable: 1) Metroid 2) Samus x Madeline 3) hmmm... Samus?

well, you asked for it

Leaving out the third because I feel like it’d be redundant after the first two.

METROID

Favorite CharacterThe obvious answer here is Samus, since she’s everyone’s favorite, so I’m gonna go with my personal faves: Madeline and Melissa! I maintain that Other M should’ve had a much greater focus on them.

Least Favorite CharacterDoes the Boost Guardian count as a character? Also, I’m kind of behind on Samus Returns because of exams last week, but I’m dreading having to fight Diggernaut. (Apparently it’s a chase sequence and puzzle? That’s all I’ve heard, don’t spoil it for me)

5 Favorite Ships (canon or non-canon)Samus x Madeline, Kreatz x Mauk (from the manga), Samus x Not Losing Everyone She Cares About (will never be canon, ever), Melissa x Living (it’s canon shut up), Prime 4 x A Release Date…This series doesn’t give a whole lot of shipping material.

Character I Find Most Attractiveall the women are wonderful, this question is BS

Character I Would MarryMelissa. I’m a sucker for villains, what can I say?

Character I Would Be Best Friends WithI’d love the chance to hang out with Samus and Anthony! They have a fun dynamic that I wish we could’ve seen more of.

A Random ThoughtI was home from college for the weekend when Samus Returns came out, so I got to sit with my family and kitties while I played it! At one point early on I said “I don’t think I’m too good at this game yet” and my mom just looked at me and said “You’ve been playing it for ten minutes, Peyton”

An Unpopular OpinionI’m going to give two because I can’t decide which one to say:

I’m super excited about Prime 4 being announced, but I’m not so sure about the name they gave it. The trilogy was named after an entity called Metroid Prime that was pretty unambiguously annihilated in the third game. So, unless it’s meant as an interquel or something, I can’t help but feel like the name was just a publicity stunt.

I feel like I’ve already made it clear that the merits of Other M outweigh the faults for me personally. But when did a portion of the fandom decide that it’s complete trash and anyone who likes it at all is a moron? It got pretty good reviews for the most part, and the kind of people who police others’ tastes tend to be the same people who take reviews as objective truth. So what happened here? And can’t we all just get along?!

My Canon OTPI don’t actually remember any canon ships except for Rodney and Virginia Aran, and we all know what happened to them

Non-Canon OTP*sweats nervously* I think you can tell from the next section

Most Badass Characterthis is Metroid we’re talking about, could it be anyone besides Samus

Pairing I Am Not a Fan ofSamus and Adam. Writing missteps with troubling abusive undertones aside, it really does seem like it’s more of a parental relationship than a romantic one. Not hating on anyone who does ship them!

Character I Feel the Writers Screwed Up (in one way or another) Adam. And this isn’t so much the writers as the designers, but I feel like Samus outside her suit tends to be oversexualized to the point of it, ironically enough, being a turn-off? At least in my opinion. (She looked so much better in that green jacket at the end of OM.)

Favorite FriendshipSamus and Anthony, best bros

SAMUS X MADELINE

When or If I Started Shipping ItI honestly don’t remember. I think I cracked a joke to myself while playing and was like “heh, yeah, she wants her to come closer bby” and it kinda spiraled from there.

My ThoughtsThe best possible ship between Samus and a canon character, in my opinion. I feel like they have so many significant parallels - shared personality traits shown by their heroic actions, extremely similar traumas and struggles with surrogate motherhood, common interest in technology - that I’m surprised it seems like I’m the first to think of this ship!

What Makes Me Happy About ThemI haven’t seen anybody notice this, but it’s adorable how much Samus seems to admire Madeline! I mean, Samus praises her actions a lot, keeps her protection a top priority (despite the whole mess being partially her fault), and seems really sad when it looks like she’s about to be arrested. It seems like the makings of the “badass who’s a complete softie around their partner” trope, which is the good shit

What Makes Me Sad About ThemThey both lost their babies… (also, the fact that they only know each other for one cutscene in canon)

Things Done in Fanfic that Annoys Meum, what fanfic

Things I Look For in FanficIts existence? Y’know how some people say they don’t have a ship so much as a little rowboat? This isn’t even that. This is, like, a pool noodle.

My KinksI can’t decide if they’d have fluffy vanilla sex or be the kinkiest fuckers in the galaxy. Either way, they’d praise each other through the whole thing and there’d be an absurd amount of cuddling afterward.

Who I’d Be Comfortable Them Ending Up With, if Not Each OtherI’d be cool with Samus ending up with Anthony, because they’ve got a solid friendship that’d translate well into a healthy relationship for both of them. As for Madeline? …I don’t know.

My Happily Ever After For ThemWhen Samus isn’t off saving a civilization or blowing up a planet, they live a peaceful life on a restored Aether with an android daughter they made together.(this is so sappy holy shit)