#Her thinking Joel is mad that she keeps opening the stitches but really he’s just concerned and wants to help her ):

[sugarcoated-lame]

Ugh breaking my heart once again (but it’s okay bc it was definitely mended by the end of the chapter lol, and I would like to apologize in advance for how long this is probably going to be lmao!) 😭 !! it made me so sad to see this tension between her and Joel, and how she’s pushing both him and Ellie away ): but you’ve done such a fantastic job of describing her trauma leftover from the previous chapter, and how she’s dealing with it in a way that feels very real!

And I love that Ellie has opened up to her and wants to spend more time with her and confide in her since finding out they’re both immune🥺

“Don’t be sorry, just stop pretending I’m not here for you, because I’m never going to stop caring about you so goddamn much. Alright?”

‘His soft lips capturing yours over and over, almost muttering things into your mouth. Pouring words of scare and comfort into how he felt. Joel was always better at showing you how he felt then saying it, he he did it again here.’ 🫠 the sleep paralysis part was so intense and heartbreaking, but I loved seeing Joel try to help her out of it in any way that he could, and I think you’ve got it so spot-on that he’d be better at showing you his feelings rather than saying them

‘Joel once told you that your softness and how much you had of it, made him obsessed. “Sometimes it feels like you’re the only damn thing in this world that isn’t rough or hard.”  Pls this is so soft and sweet 🥺

the way that the anxiety and darkness is taking ahold of her but she’s too afraid to ask for help, meanwhile all Joel wants to do is help because he loves her ugh it’s so heartbreaking but beautiful 😭 and her guilt about killing to protect herself and possibly be hindering the procurement of a cure, and not wanting Ellie to suffer the same darkness that she’s going through 😢

‘It was unspoken even to yourself how you felt about Joel. Something you didn’t know or understand blossoming into a deep emotion that you did in fact have a name for, but a wonder if Joel would return it now was wrapping itself around your throat as it suffocated you to thinking he’d throw you out for who you were.’ This !!!!!! Just !! Beautiful 😭

“We’re not here to change your mind, but we want you to. Whether you can accept it or not, you’re family now. And a family protects the ones they love, period.” His fingers grazed your cheek enough to turn you more to face him. “You try to do everything to prove yourself at every goddamn turn, worried if you even say you need help that’s some sign of weakness. That’s just not the case, sweetheart. You’re allowed to need us, you should need us sometimes, because,” The half a second pause let Ellie finish his sentence. “Because we need you.”

Screaming, crying, throwing up 😭😭 I love them so much and it was so sweet to see Joel and Ellie reassure her like that and make her know that she’s a part of their family and they don’t want her to go anywhere. And it made me so happy to see her finally open up about the fact that she always feels like she’s burdening him 🥹

And that last line????? I am both scared and intrigued to see what’s gonna happen next!

Ugh there’s so many more wonderful things I could say about this story bc it’s so absolutely fantastic, but I’m gonna stop now bc this has gotten too long 😂 but I loved this so, so, so, SO much, and I’m beyond excited to read the next part when it’s out!!! ❤️❤️❤️🥰

Haunted Anguish

Credit: @a7estrellas

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Length: 15.3k

Warnings: Angst/hurt comfort, trauma related mental instability, mentions of blood, accidental self harm, nightmares and sleep paralysis, smut, outdoor smut, p in v, sex as a coping mechanism

Notes: Ptsd is not mentioned by name or diagnoses, but presentation of symptoms is a theme throughout the fic. Direct follow up to Past Retribution but can be read as a standalone.

The week after the bite, you knew you were losing yourself, and you weren’t stupid enough to think Joel hadn’t picked up on it. But you struggled to stop any of it. The metallic flick was the only thing you could focus on. Not the sounds of people walking around, not the conversations that passed you by, not even the quiet shuffling of the horses mere feet from you. 

It was hard to pinpoint this feeling that had been growing for days. It wasn’t like your brain was lost in a fog, the total opposite. It felt like you walked through a world that blurred around you. Mute and numb to your existence despite the truth being otherwise. There was a growing heaviness in your chest that each day filled just a bit more with a disgusting guilt and the past 2 days your hands kept pulling out the lighter as if it possessed you to do so. 

Maybe if Joel hadn’t grabbed it would this feeling disappear? He had seen what you had done, what you had tried to do, he must had assumed it belonged to you, and now it sat in your pocket at almost all times screaming at you along with the bite that loomed over it all. 

Keep reading

[tlou-1]

Joel Miller x Reader (Home) Chapter 21

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13| Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 

Chapter 21 - Joel is in a really bad way, you and Ellie await to see how and if he will recover

Contains | SMUT and a minor glimpse/reference to PTSD

A couple of days pass and you still had’t left the surgery, you had barely left the chair sat across from Joel’s bed. He still hadn’t gained consciousness, from the beating, the drugs, the stitches. On the second night Molly brought you a change of clothes and suggested you head home for some sleep and to check on Patrick. 

“I left Patrick with you for a reason Molly. I am not going anywhere until I know he is okay” you said shortly to her nodding your head towards Joel. You would be no use to Patrick like this and what child should have to see his parents like this at such a young age, you trusted Molly to look after him for a couple days.

“Fine but at least change your clothes, your jeans are soaked in blood.” She sighed pointing at the pile she had set out for you. For the first time you looked and felt the clothes you were wearing, the dried, crusted blood on your knees creating a smell of iron which filled your nose with nausea. You washed and changed like she asked but after sat right back into the same seat. 

A couple hours when dusk had set in Ellie appeared at the door, neither of you seemed to know what to say to the other. Nothing would make this better, the only person that could was lying in the bed next you both unable to do so. Ellie pulled up a chair next to you and you took her hand, she clenched it tightly. You both fell asleep together on those chairs that third night. 

In the morning, Ellie brought you both two mugs of coffee, “I hate the stuff to be honest but I love the smell.” She sighs. 

You smile slightly at her, “I know exactly what you mean”, neither of you could smell the stuff without thinking of Joel. 

You reach your hand out to Joel’s and squeeze it. Ellie props herself at the foot of the bed as you feel something brush across the top of your hand. You look down to see Joel’s thumb stroking the back of your hand slowly.

“Ellie” you whisper gesturing her to look down at the movement. 

“Joel can you hear me? I am here, Ellie is here too” You call to him. 

“Oh I can hear you darlin, I’d know those two voice anywhere” he says quietly and horsely. He sounded rough but even hearing him call you darlin, well there wasn’t many words that could describe the sense of relief. 

You press your forehead to Joel’s hand which you were holding and let out a deep breath which became a small cry. 

“I thought” you start but you couldn’t finish that sentence. 

“That I would leave the two of you and Patrick? Not today anyway but I see you are already into my coffee stash” he says taking his time with each word, it was difficult to talk and his laugh barely made it past his lips. Neither you or Ellie laughed, it was clear he was trying to lighten your spirits. Joel could barely see out his swollen eye but he could still see and feel the look on your faces, he grips your hand tighter. 

“Joel I’m so sorry” Ellie begins to cry, really cry with her eyes and nose leaking its like she can barely catch a breath. You want to reach out for her but Joel is already there, putting his hand out to her hush her. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear. Nothing” He says sternly pulling Ellie’s conscious back into the room. You all sit together a few moments before Joel asks Ellie if he can have a moment with you. “I’ll just go clean our mugs” she suggested offering to take the empty mug from your hand.

There is such a long silence once Ellie leaves, you were about to say something when -

“What on earth were you thinking?” He whispers angrily at you. 

“What? What was I thinking? Are you really asking that now?” You repeat his words defensively. 

“What about the baby, did you think about that? Or Patrick?”.

“What about thank you for saving me Y/N? I don’t know where I would be without you Y/N? Hmm?” Your voice gets a little louder and you continue.

“All I could think when I saw you, like that was that my husband and father of my child was about to get beaten to death in front of me and our daughter. I was not - I wasn’t going to let that happen. You said you wouldn’t leave, you made that promise, I was keeping it.” Your voice shaking as you spoke.

Again Joel says nothing for a bit before a quiet “Thank you Y/N” escapes his lips, he is clearly still frustrated.

“And the baby?” He asks. 

“Joel we haven’t even been to the doctor to confirm if I am pregnant, I am probably too old for it, just because I am late doesn’t mean-“ but he interrupts.

“When in the four years that I have been with you have you been late?” He asked bluntly, the answer was never but you just had a feeling he wasn’t right this time. He was mad, of course he was mad but how you make a ‘rational’ decision in that kind of situation. Maybe the grenade was a dud, maybe it wasn’t, maybe you might have died, maybe you wouldn’t, maybe you were pregnant, maybe you weren’t. The only thing that was certain was Joel was going to die if you didn’t do something, so you did the first thing that came to mind. It seemed hard for him to understand that, maybe he thinks his life isn’t worth that much, ‘what an idiot’ you thought when so many people loved and depended on him. 

“What would you have done if it was me? If you saw me beaten half to death in front of you, would you leave me there?” You asked, he was silent again and you both knew he would never have walked away. Ellie joins you both again “Everything okay?” She asks.

“Yeah we are good kiddo” Joel reassures her with a soft smile. He grimaces slightly, clearly the painkillers beginning to wear off. After Doctor Henry has a good assessment of Joel she explains it’s going to be a couple weeks for a full recovery, “I ain’t staying here for a couple weeks. I want to be in my own house” Joel insists. You pull Doctor Henry aside as you prepare to move Joel home and explain your own situation, “If you let me take a couple samples, I will run some tests and should be able to tell you in a week or so” she smiles. 

Joel spends the next week in your bed at home. By the second week he is beginning to get back on his feet for short periods of time, he manages to walk downstairs and joins you and Patrick to watch a film “What we got tonight?” He asks pulling you into his arms, you let out a large sigh and sink into him. “Patrick picked Monsters Inc again” you point to Patrick who has moved off the sofa to a spot right in front of the TV wanting to be as close as possible. “I’m not pregnant Joel” you whispered so only he could hear, you couldn’t see his face but he squeezed you shoulders tighter and pressed a firm kiss on the crown of your head, “Are you okay?” He asks, you nod your head. You really were okay, “I am. I am really happy with my family. I don’t need anything more than I already have”. You both go back to watching the film and don’t talk about it again. 

That night in bed, Joel turns to you and wraps his arms around the back of you, you feel his hands trail under the shirt you were wearing. “Joel” you groan slightly and press your back into him further, you can feel him stiff against your ass, “Mhm?” He purrs against your ear, “You are still recovering” you state, he wasn’t really in a fit state yet. “I am” he nods and his hands further higher up your top, cupping your breasts. You turn to meet him and press a kiss on his lips before breaking away and venture towards the end of the bed. “Where do you think you’re going?” He asks trying to sit up, you push him back down and begins to pull his underwear away. You lower your head and trail your tongue along his shaft from the bottom to the tip, he let out a hiss as you took him entirely in your mouth. Working away at him with your mouth and hands you feel him tense as he moaned “oh Jesus baby” and finished him off. 

You both fell asleep, you leaning into Joel but being careful with him as good as he was doing, he was still in some discomfort. You watched him sleep, it felt good feeling his chest rise and fall under the palm of your hand. As you feel him breath, you begin to feel him move restlessly under your hand, his breathing becoming erratic. You gently nudge him but it seems to make him worse, you sit up and press your hands at either side of his face, “Joel, Joel wake up! You’re having a nightmare”. Before his eyes flash open he raises his hand to your throat, his grip tightens but quickly loosens as soon as his eyes open and the realisation of who he had in his grip crosses his face. You get your breath back and Joel still hasn’t moved, his eyes wide open, “I - I am sorry. I don’t know wh-“ he says flustered, seemingly unable to move or even blink. 

You move closer to him, almost sitting in his lap, you take his face in your hands and try to force him to look at you “Hey it’s okay, I am okay Joel.” But he is still struggling to look at you and try to pull his face to look at the ground. 

“I just keep seeing it” he says in almost a whisper, you can feel his cheeks are becoming slightly damp. 

Pressing a kiss to his forehead you reply “It’s going to be okay, I promise”. 

[splendidlyimperfect]

Gray hasn’t seen Natsu in years - not since he moved away with his boyfriend Joel and Natsu stopped texting him. A chance run-in at a bar brings Natsu back into Gray’s life, but the encounter puts Gray in danger when Joel finds out. Natsu quickly realizes that Gray’s stuck in a cycle of violence, and wants to help him escape. But leaving isn’t that easy, and sometimes loving someone might not be enough.

Chapter Summary: Gray has nowhere to stay while Joel's in jail, so Sting offers up his place. Gray realizes they have something in common.

Chapters (16/22):  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, Gray Fullbuster/Original Male Character(s) Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rape Aftermath, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Natsu just wants to help, but Gray feels like he can’t leave, Non-Linear Narrative, Trans Character, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, ftlgbtpride2019, Coming Out, First Love, Angst with a Happy Ending, I promise

**TW for discussion of abuse/child abuse

-----

somebody hurt you

com· pas· sion | \ kəm-ˈpa-shən noun : sympathetic consciousness of others' distress, together with a desire to alleviate it

.

xv october .

Gray doesn’t leave the hospital until almost two in the morning.

When Doris finally leads Gray back out to the front of the emergency room, Sting is still there, but he’s dressed in jeans and a hoodie instead of his uniform. When he sees Gray, he stands up and approaches them cautiously.  

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” he asks, glancing down at Gray’s bandaged hand. He looks like he wants to reach out to Gray, but he doesn’t.  

Gray’s so tired that all he can do is shrug. Doris says something to Sting but Gray’s not listening – his mind is too busy. The panic and terror from earlier are dulled by the drugs, but he still can’t stop thinking.  

Joel protected me. Joel hurt me. I should tell them. I have to stay. He can get better. He’s never going to change. He’ll hurt Bella. Sting can help me. I don’t have anything. I can start over. I can ask for help. I’m fine.  

“Gray? You with me?” Gray blinks, looking up at Sting’s concerned face. “I tried to get your wallet, but they won’t let me take personal effects out of lockup,” Sting says gently. “Do you have your keys?” Gray shakes his head, staring at the floor. “Do you have somebody you can stay with? The nurse said you shouldn’t be alone after a concussion.”  

A part of Gray’s mind thinks, I could call Natsu, but the rest of him shuts that down immediately. He shakes his head again.  

“Would you feel okay staying with me overnight?” Sting asks. “As a friend,” he adds quickly, “not as a cop. I’m off duty now, and I’ve got a guest bedroom. Rogue is asleep, but he won’t mind.”

Gray looks down at the floor again. He doesn’t want to make Joel angry, but he’s so fucking tired and has nowhere else to go, so he nods.  

“Okay,” Sting says, and Gray can hear the relief in his voice as he gestures toward the parking lot. “C’mon, you need to get some sleep.”

Continue reading on AO3

The first part of the drive back to Sting’s place is quiet – the only sound is the barely-audible radio and the squeak of the windshield wipers. Gray leans his head against the window and watches the raindrops fall in the intermittent light of the streetlamps.  

He’s so, so tired.  

“You hungry?” Sting asks after a while. Gray shakes his head – he is, but he doesn’t want to owe Sting anything else. “You mind if I stop for something? I haven’t eaten since I started work.”  

When Sting sets the fries he gets in the console between them, Gray sees through the ruse. He doesn't fall for it.  

“I’ve only been a cop for a few years,” Sting says after a while. Gray glances over at him, but Sting keeps his eyes on the road. “My dad was one, and I always wanted to be just like him.”  

Gray’s not sure what the point of this story is, but it’s better than the silence, so he nods and keeps listening.  

“He wasn’t a very good cop, though,” Sting says, and his voice gets quiet and a little uncertain. “Sometimes... law enforcement attracts people who want power, and control. And those people are assholes at work and outside of it. He was one of those people.”  

Gray suddenly sees exactly where this is going.  

“I loved my dad so, so much,” Sting continues. The rain is coming down harder now, and he turns up the wipers. “My mom died when I was little and I was an only child, so he was all I had. And I wanted so badly to believe he loved me as much as I loved him.”  

Tears start to press at the back of Gray’s eyes, and he bites the inside of his cheek until it hurts.  

“Lots of people tried to help me,” Sting says as he slows down for a red light. He keeps his eyes on the road, carefully avoiding looking at Gray. “Teachers, my friends’ parents. I loved my dad, though, and I didn’t want him to get in trouble, so I told them all that nothing was wrong. I thought... he could change. It wasn’t all the time. When he wasn’t mad, he was amazing – so all I had to do was not make him angry.”  

Sting goes silent again, and Gray can’t keep it in anymore. He’s so fucking tired of crying.  

“One day, it got really bad.” Sting’s voice is thick now, like he’s trying to hold back his own tears. “He was high, and he got angry – I don’t even remember what I did to piss him off, I was only eleven – and our neighbor called the police. I was terrified because all the cops were dad’s friends, and I didn't think they'd believe me, but... I mean, it was bad. He broke my arm, I ended up with thirty-six stitches, and it’s hard to play that off as an accident, y’know? And one of the cops, her name was Kelly, she stayed with me the whole time. Helped me feel safe.”  

Gray’s chest aches, and he covers his mouth to keep in a sob. The tears keep coming and coming, and he presses himself against the door of the car, trying to breathe.  

“I just... I know how hard it is,” Sting says after a minute. “I know what it’s like to love someone so much that you want them to be the best thing for you, even when they aren’t. And I know you don’t want help right now, and that’s okay, just... none of it’s your fault.” Gray hiccups through the tears and he just wants to stop fucking  feeling  this. “Nobody should be hurting you, no matter what, and if you ever do decide you want help, there are people who will believe you, and who will be there for you.”  

Gray’s mind turns to Natsu. Natsu, with sad, desperate eyes as Gray walked away from him. Natsu kissing Gray in the alley behind the bar, touching him gently, being kind. Natsu answering the phone and talking about his day, letting Gray pretend that nothing’s wrong.  

And then Joel. Joel saying he loves Gray with hard, demanding eyes. Joel getting angry, Joel apologizing, Joel kissing Gray sweetly, Joel pushing Gray into the bed when Gray wants to say ‘no.’  

It’s too much.  

“I...” Gray’s voice breaks and he shakes his head. “I d-don't... I can’t...”  

“I know.” Sting’s voice is so, so gentle. “It’s been a long night.”  

The car slows to a stop as Sting pulls into a driveway – Gray hadn’t even noticed that they were in a residential area. Sting turns off the car and sighs before getting out, then moving around to Gray’s side and opening his door.  

“C’mon,” Sting says, helping Gray out as Gray wipes at his face with his sleeve. Gray wobbles unsteadily – everything hurts, even with the painkillers. Sting offers his arm and Gray stares at it for a moment before letting himself lean on it.    

When they get inside, Sting leads Gray to the guest bedroom, quietly pointing out the washroom and grabbing an extra blanket from the closet. Gray sits down heavily on the bed, and seconds later there’s a soft  mrowl   as a kitten jumps up next to him.  

Gray stares at it and it meows at him again, staring at him with wide, blue eyes.  

“That’s Frosch,” Sting says as Gray reaches out hesitantly and runs his finger over the kitten’s head. Frosch immediately climbs up into his lap and rubs herself against him, purring happily. “You’re not allergic, are you?”  

Gray shakes his head. The deep, weary ache in his chest feels a tiny bit lighter as a tiny, wet nose against his hand is followed by soft, silky fur.  

“She might try to sleep with you,” Sting says, sitting down close to Gray but leaving a space between them. “Lector – her brother – is probably on my pillow right now, but you might see him at some point too.”  

Frosch gives Gray another loud, high-pitched meow, then stands up on her hind legs, placing her paws on his chest. Gray strokes her head carefully, then looks over at Sting.  

“Thank you,” he whispers. Sting smiles at him, and Gray’s thankful that there’s no pity on his face.  

“Anytime,” Sting says. His hand hovers between them and he looks uncertain. “Do you... want a hug? Or – sorry, that’s stupid, I know we don’t really know each other very well.”

Gray knows he should say no, but it’s been so long since someone touched him in a way that doesn’t hurt. He nods slowly, and Sting leans in and wraps his arm around Gray despite the embarrassed flush now dusting his cheeks. Gray sighs and relaxes into the embrace, and a warm sense of relief floods through him as Frosch turns in circles on his lap and then settles herself there, warm and purring.  

“I don’t know what to do,” he says quietly, before he can change his mind. Sting sighs, pulling back from the embrace but keeping his hand on Gray’s arm.  

“I know,” he says. “I know how hard it is to leave. It’s okay if you’re not ready.”  

Gray rubs his face. His hand’s starting to ache, and he’s so tired, but the idea of sleeping in this bed alone in a house he doesn’t know is terrifying.  

"You okay?” Sting asks, squeezing his elbow gently. Gray wants to say  I’m fine, I don’t need your help  because that’s what he’s always done, but Joel’s not here and everything hurts and he’s scared.  

He shakes his head.  

“You wanna come watch something stupid on TV with me?” Sting asks. “I’ve got some microwave popcorn and a bag of Twizzlers I’ve been hiding from Rogue.”

Sting turns on some reality show about baking that Gray’s never heard of, but Gray doesn’t really pay attention to it. The couch is soft and Frosch is warm on his lap, and with Sting sitting beside him, it doesn’t take long for Gray to fall asleep.  

-----

When Gray wakes up the next morning, everything hurts. He groans, blinking a few times and moving to sit up before he realizes that something is sitting on him.  

It’s Frosch. She’s fast asleep with her tail curled around her, and she’s purring so loud that she’s vibrating on Gray’s chest. Gray carefully runs his finger over her head and behind her ears. The purring intensifies, and she gives his hand a tiny headbutt before settling back into sleep.  

Gray sighs, relaxing into the pillow underneath him. He’s still on the couch, but there’s a blanket draped over his legs, and a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers sitting on the table next to him.  

Gray looks down at his bandaged hand, and everything comes back to him in a blurry rush. He squeezes his eyes shut again, rubbing his face with his uninjured hand and pushing away the memories.  

Gray’s good at not thinking about things.  

After a few more minutes, he nudges Frosch off of him, and she squeaks at him in protest before sauntering off to the kitchen. He sits up slowly, gratefully grabbing the painkillers and washing two of them down with the water. His head is pounding, his wrist aches, and the rest of him is bruised and uncomfortable.  

“Good morning.”

Gray looks up to see Rogue standing in the doorway to the kitchen, wearing a pair of cat-themed pajama pants and a hoodie that says Ryerson Tech.  His hair is piled on his head in a messy bun, and he looks down fondly as Frosch meows at him and rubs herself against his legs.  

“Hey,” Gray says, voice rough. “Thanks for letting me stay.” His cheeks feel hot and he looks back down at the floor.  

“Of course,” Rogue says, leaning down and scooping up Frosch. “Would you like a coffee? Sting’s still asleep, but I’m making pancakes.”

Gray suddenly realizes how hungry he is, and he nods, pushing himself up from the couch and following Rogue into the kitchen. Rogue’s quiet as he gets the coffee ready, and Gray takes the opportunity to look around. The kitchen is small but brightly decorated, and the fridge is covered with photographs.  

Gray’s eyes widen when he sees one of Rogue and Sting at the pride parade, kissing in front of an arch of colorful balloons. Rogue's got a rainbow button pinned to his tank top, and Sting’s shirt is pink and blue and white. The trans pride flag.  

Oh.  

Gray sits still for a minute, letting the revelation settle into his sleepy, confused brain. When Rogue sets a cup of coffee down in front of Gray, he tracks Gray’s gaze to the photo and smiles.  

There are footsteps on the stairs, and Sting appears in the kitchen doorway, yawning as he runs his fingers through his messy hair. A fat, orange tabby saunters in after him.  

“Hey, you,” Rogue says, reaching over and pulling Sting in for a kiss.  

“Mmf.” Sting yawns, then turns to Gray and waves. “You guys are up way too early. ‘s ridiculous.”  

“It’s already nine,” Rogue says, rolling his eyes and turning back to the stove. “You’re the ridiculous one.”  

Sting grumbles half-heartedly and slumps down on the stool next to Gray, pillowing his head on his arms. “You sleep okay?” he asks, tipping his head up to look at Gray.  

Gray doesn’t answer right away. He’s too busy searching Sting’s face, trying to see what he missed before.  

Sting’s like him.  

Sting frowns at him, then glances over at the fridge and his eyes widen in realization. “Ah,” he says. “Yeah. Sorry, it, uh, never came up?”  

“No, no, I, uh...” Gray can feel heat rising to his cheeks. “Me too.”  

Sting’s uncertain expression quickly turns to a smile, and he nudges Gray with his knee. “Really?” Gray nods, looking down at his coffee. “I never would have guessed.”  

“You either,” Gray says, cheeks pink. “I, uh... I don’t know anyone else? Like me.” He hesitates, then corrects himself. “Like us.”  

“Well, now you do,” Sting says, reaching out slowly and squeezing Gray’s knee when he doesn’t pull away.  

A comfortable silence hangs between them, interrupted when Rogue sets a plate of pancakes on the counter. Gray’s stomach growls, and he’s pretty sure nothing has ever looked so appetizing.  

“Gods, I love you,” Sting says.    

“You love pancakes,” Rogue corrects, grabbing a couple of plates from the cupboard and handing one to Gray. “I did burn a couple, sorry about that.”  

Sting scoffs, grabbing three pancakes and piling them on his plate. Then he leans over and kisses Rogue’s cheek. “I’d eat your burnt pancakes any day, darling.”  

[barpurplewrites]

A Pressing Appointment - Chapter 1

@a-monthly-rumbelling Smut: “I’m starting to think you just like me pinning you up against things, sweetheart.”

-x-x-x-

Sheriff Lacey French rolled her eyes. She’d known who would be slap bang in the middle of the fight the moment the call had come in. At her side Deputy Graham laughed softly; “Just for once it would be nice to haul someone else to the station on a Saturday night.”

Lacey snorted as squared her shoulders and hollered; “Break it up! Now!”

The angry shouts and indiscriminate heckling died down. A few people slunk away, and others casually turned back to their drinks. The heart of the disturbance became clear and an angry Scottish voice shouted a challenge to the departing crowd. Lacey stepped forward and ducked as a broken pool cue sung wildly towards her. She grabbed an elbow and twisted him into the pool table.

“Hey! Hey! I’m no causing trouble.”

The pool cue clattered to the floor and he blew his hair out of his face, twisting his head so he could give her a cheery smile that must have hurt his split lip.

“Evening Sheriff. Is there a problem?”

She couldn’t decide which was more annoying; the man himself, or the fact that even bleeding and sweaty from fighting she found him attractive. The frustration showed in her voice as she snapped; “What do you think Gold?”

“Well if that wee scrote Nottingham hadnae cheated we’d be just dandy.”

Graham was patching Nottingham up, from here it looked like he was going to need stitches for the gash on his head. She snicked the cuffs around Gold’s wrists and hauled him upright; “Same as last month then. Come on you know the drill.”

The Rabbit Hole regulars were indifferent as Gold was led out in cuffs. It was such a regular occurrence that it wasn’t worth gawping at. Lacey knew as well as everyone else that there would be no charges, and that Little John would let Gold work off the damages behind the bar. In two weeks Gold would be drinking again and then a week or so later he would kick off over something starting the cycle over again.

It drove Lacey mad. Thanks to his frequent nights in the cells she’d had plenty of conversations with Gold. He was smart, well-read and funny in a dry way. When he was sober he worked hard, but for some reason he couldn’t resist the siren call of alcohol. He’d told her once that he drank to drown his demons, but he wouldn’t expand on the nature of those demons. Getting to know the man behind the bar-brawling whiskey swigging exterior had only fuelled her attraction.

She pushed Gold against the side of the cruiser as she dragged open the door; “One of these days you’re gonna get your arse seriously kicked, Gold.”

He grinned at her and winced as the movement pulled on his split lip; “Hasnae happened yet Sheriff.”

“Yeah, luck of the Irish.”

She shoved him into the back seat and closed the door, as he shouted indignantly; “I’m Scottish and you bloody well know it!”

Lacey huffed, of course she knew, but her suggesting he was Irish, or Welsh was the quickest way to get Gold to shut up. When anyone else questioned his heritage, he was likely to start a fight, but they had an unspoken understanding that when she did it her temper was wearing thin. Tonight, she wasn’t in the mood to parry his banter.

She went back inside briefly to check Graham was alright handling the fallout, and to tell him he could head home once he was done.

As expected Gold was quiet all the way back to the station. He co-operated as she pulled him from the back of the car but dragged his feet as she steered him into the station.

“What you don’t want your Saturday night bed?”

Gold huffed at her; “Not tired yet, I’ve a full pint back at the pub, y’know,” – he shrugged, - “Well I did until I lobbed it at someone.”

Lacey unlocked the cuffs and pushed him against the bars of the cell, so she could pat him down. He twisted his head and looked at her over his shoulder.

“I’m starting to think you just like pinning me up against things, sweetheart.”

She threw his wallet on the desk behind her; “Yeah, sure this is my dream Saturday night, patting down your skinny arse and filling out forms with your ridiculous first name.”

He turned around and gave her a lopsided smile; “That one is my Pa’s fault, I hadnae a choice in the matter.”

She stepped forward to unlock the cell, but he didn’t step to the side like he usually did, so she was basically pinning him to the bars with her body. He gave her a told-you-so smirk and her last bit of patience snapped. She leaned in even closer, so they were chest to chest; “Maybe I keep pinning you against things in the hopes that you’ll return the favour and kiss me senseless while you’re at it.”

She watched his throat bob as he swallowed. What the hell was she doing? This wasn’t right, he was in custody and she had a duty of care which certainly didn’t include propositioning him. She twisted the key and stepped back.

“Inside Gold, sleep it off.”

He hesitated but walked backwards into the cell and closed the door. She didn’t look at him as she locked the cell, but she knew he was watching her, she could feel his eyes on her as she moved to her desk to start the paperwork. After a few minutes she heard the cot creak as he lay down, and not long after that there was a gentle snore. Lacey glanced up at his sleeping form and blew out a sigh. She’d had a few day dreams about letting him know her feelings for him, but this shitstorm was not one of them.

The night dragged, but finally the clock ticked around to six and Lacey tapped her keys against the bars of Gold’s cell.

“Rise and shine. I’ve got some coffee on the go if you want one.”

He shuffled his feet and darted past her; “Not this morning, thanks Sheriff.”

She watched him all but run out of the station and banged her head off the bars. Looks like he remembered everything from last night and was deeply uncomfortable about it. Fan-fucking-tastic.

 Lacey was driving back into town after a call to one of the farmhouses. Mrs Shoemann had reported an intruder, which had turned out to be one of her eldest sons coming home for a surprise visit. Joel really needed to remember that his Mom was blind as a bat, always lost her glasses and could swing a frying pan like a baseball pro.

It had been a week since she had seen Gold, so when he drove past her she did a double take. What the hell was he doing driving the Game of Thorns van? She flicked the flashers on and pulled a U-turn. If he was drunk driving a stolen vehicle she was going to throw the book at him, literally.

He pulled to the side of the road carefully and stepped down from the cab.

“If this is about the tail light I’ve told Moe about it and he’s getting the van into the garage as soon as they’ve got a space.”

Lacey glared at him and stepped in close, so she could sniff his breath. He wobbled back and landed on the step of the cab.

“Have you been drinking Gold? What the hell are you doing driving? Have you stolen this van?”

He glared back at her; “No, working and no!”

She reached for her cuffs; “If you’re going to bullshit me I’m arresting you now.”

He surged to his feet and grabbed her upper arms before spinning them around and pinning her against the side of the van. She gasped, and his lips crashed into hers. There wasn’t a hint of booze on his breath, just a faint trace of coffee. It took her a heartbeat to return his bruising kiss but once she’d got her brain in gear she did so with enthusiasm.

Gold pulled back and let go of her. He was panting for breath, and still looked angry.

“I’ve no had a drink in a week. I got meself a proper job at the flower shop, and I’m working to pay Little John back for the damage. I wanted to clean me act up before I pinned ye against something and snogged ye senseless.”

She took all of that in, she need to apologise for pulling him over and suspecting the worst, but right now something else was more important. She grabbed the open neck of his shirt and hauled him into her.

“I can still think clearly, best try harder on the snogging me senseless part.”

He growled at her and lunged for her mouth. The heat was still there, but the anger had turned to passion. Lacey got her fingers into his hair and tugged his head to one side to position them better. Gold pressed against her and got one of his legs between hers. The friction was so close to being in the right place, but with their clothes in the way it was never going to be enough. She could feel him getting hard and for a crazy moment she considered reaching for his belt buckle right here on the side of the road. Reluctantly she pulled on his hair to break the kiss.

“What time do you get off?”

Gold rested his forehead against hers and gave a breathless chuckle; “I finish work at five, can be at your place by six and as to when I get off, that’s up to you sweetheart.”

Lacey grinned; “That’s going to depend on your manners, Gold.”

He pulled a face of mock hurt; “It may surprise you know I was brought up right, I know it’s ladies first,” – he pressed a teasing kiss to her lips, - “And since I’m a true gentleman, it’s also ladies second and third if I can manage it.”

It was far to tempting to drag him into the back of the cruiser and put that to the test. She took a shaky breath and gently pushed him away. He eased back with a grin on his face, which looked ridiculous since her lipstick was smeared across his lips. He was going to need a few minutes to put himself back together before he went back to work, she was going to need the same.

“Drive safe, Mr Gold. I’ll see you at six.”

The grin was still plastered on his face as he climbed back into the van. She could feel her own smile wide on her face as she waved him off and walked back to her cruiser. Tonight was going to be a hell of a lot of fun.