#Ellie arguing with Joel about asking her to move in with them permanently 🥺

[sugarcoated-lame]

Ugh breaking my heart once again (but it’s okay bc it was definitely mended by the end of the chapter lol, and I would like to apologize in advance for how long this is probably going to be lmao!) 😭 !! it made me so sad to see this tension between her and Joel, and how she’s pushing both him and Ellie away ): but you’ve done such a fantastic job of describing her trauma leftover from the previous chapter, and how she’s dealing with it in a way that feels very real!

And I love that Ellie has opened up to her and wants to spend more time with her and confide in her since finding out they’re both immune🥺

“Don’t be sorry, just stop pretending I’m not here for you, because I’m never going to stop caring about you so goddamn much. Alright?”

‘His soft lips capturing yours over and over, almost muttering things into your mouth. Pouring words of scare and comfort into how he felt. Joel was always better at showing you how he felt then saying it, he he did it again here.’ 🫠 the sleep paralysis part was so intense and heartbreaking, but I loved seeing Joel try to help her out of it in any way that he could, and I think you’ve got it so spot-on that he’d be better at showing you his feelings rather than saying them

‘Joel once told you that your softness and how much you had of it, made him obsessed. “Sometimes it feels like you’re the only damn thing in this world that isn’t rough or hard.”  Pls this is so soft and sweet 🥺

the way that the anxiety and darkness is taking ahold of her but she’s too afraid to ask for help, meanwhile all Joel wants to do is help because he loves her ugh it’s so heartbreaking but beautiful 😭 and her guilt about killing to protect herself and possibly be hindering the procurement of a cure, and not wanting Ellie to suffer the same darkness that she’s going through 😢

‘It was unspoken even to yourself how you felt about Joel. Something you didn’t know or understand blossoming into a deep emotion that you did in fact have a name for, but a wonder if Joel would return it now was wrapping itself around your throat as it suffocated you to thinking he’d throw you out for who you were.’ This !!!!!! Just !! Beautiful 😭

“We’re not here to change your mind, but we want you to. Whether you can accept it or not, you’re family now. And a family protects the ones they love, period.” His fingers grazed your cheek enough to turn you more to face him. “You try to do everything to prove yourself at every goddamn turn, worried if you even say you need help that’s some sign of weakness. That’s just not the case, sweetheart. You’re allowed to need us, you should need us sometimes, because,” The half a second pause let Ellie finish his sentence. “Because we need you.”

Screaming, crying, throwing up 😭😭 I love them so much and it was so sweet to see Joel and Ellie reassure her like that and make her know that she’s a part of their family and they don’t want her to go anywhere. And it made me so happy to see her finally open up about the fact that she always feels like she’s burdening him 🥹

And that last line????? I am both scared and intrigued to see what’s gonna happen next!

Ugh there’s so many more wonderful things I could say about this story bc it’s so absolutely fantastic, but I’m gonna stop now bc this has gotten too long 😂 but I loved this so, so, so, SO much, and I’m beyond excited to read the next part when it’s out!!! ❤️❤️❤️🥰

Haunted Anguish

Credit: @a7estrellas

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Length: 15.3k

Warnings: Angst/hurt comfort, trauma related mental instability, mentions of blood, accidental self harm, nightmares and sleep paralysis, smut, outdoor smut, p in v, sex as a coping mechanism

Notes: Ptsd is not mentioned by name or diagnoses, but presentation of symptoms is a theme throughout the fic. Direct follow up to Past Retribution but can be read as a standalone.

The week after the bite, you knew you were losing yourself, and you weren’t stupid enough to think Joel hadn’t picked up on it. But you struggled to stop any of it. The metallic flick was the only thing you could focus on. Not the sounds of people walking around, not the conversations that passed you by, not even the quiet shuffling of the horses mere feet from you. 

It was hard to pinpoint this feeling that had been growing for days. It wasn’t like your brain was lost in a fog, the total opposite. It felt like you walked through a world that blurred around you. Mute and numb to your existence despite the truth being otherwise. There was a growing heaviness in your chest that each day filled just a bit more with a disgusting guilt and the past 2 days your hands kept pulling out the lighter as if it possessed you to do so. 

Maybe if Joel hadn’t grabbed it would this feeling disappear? He had seen what you had done, what you had tried to do, he must had assumed it belonged to you, and now it sat in your pocket at almost all times screaming at you along with the bite that loomed over it all. 

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