#Hemlock: I would kill for you; please let me kill for you

[cirqueduroyale]

Oh you! :3c

[miss-musings]

The Dad Batch as DBZA Piccolo quotes

Hunter, seeing Omega for the first time in 1.01 "Aftermath": I'm gonna steal that kid.

*****

Wrecker, confronting Fennec Shand as she tries to abduct Omega in 1.04 "Cornered": Bitch, you look like Mulan.

Fennec: And you look like a pro wrestler.

Wrecker: I get that. Now hand over the kid.

Fennec: Oh, you want this kid?

Wrecker: I want her.

Fennec: You want this kid?

Wrecker: I want her.

Fennec: You want this kid?

Wrecker: I want her.

Fennec: You want, you want?

Wrecker: I WANT THAT KID!!

Fennec: *throws Omega at Wrecker*

Omega: Hi, Wrecker!

Wrecker: Merry Life Day!

Wrecker: *gets the shit beat out of him by Fennec*

Omega: Wrecker!

*****

Omega, as she's falling to her death in 1.09 "Bounty Lost": WRECKER, HELP!

Wrecker: *appears with the Bad Batch and lifts her out of the flight pod to safety*

Omega, genuinely surprised: Holy cow, that worked!

*****

Hunter, telling the Bad Batch to leave him on Daro in 1.14 "War-Mantle": You guys get on out of here. I'll take on these troopers myself.

Omega: But Hunter!

Hunter: No buts! Echo, you take care of Omega.

Echo: So keep doing what I've been doing then?

Hunter: Yeah-huh.

Echo: Yeah, I figured.

Echo, to the others: Let's go.

Wrecker: Oh, thank the Force!

Omega, as they’re leaving: Hunter, beat them within an inch of their lives! And hang them up by their entrails!!

Hunter, thinking: Wow, she sounds like she's had a hard time. Echo should REALLY have a talk with her.

*****

Omega, as she falls to her possible death in 2.09 "The Crossing": Crapbaskets!

Tech: *jumps after her, grabs her and helps her get to safety*

Omega: Tech, you saved me again!

Tech, realizing they're now trapped in another part of the cave: "Saved" is sort of subjective here.

*****

Makko yelling at Benni and the other kids who are essentially his slaves in 2.10 "Retrieval": Well, I'm sorry but ... I don't listen to BASTARDS.

Benni and the other kids: *shocked*

Tech: Omega?

Omega: Yeah?

Tech: You're a good kid.

Omega, confused: Oh... thanks?

*****

Hemlock: *taunts the Bad Batch about Tech's death in 2.16 "Plan 99"*

Omega: Tech!!

Hunter, holding her back from fighting Hemlock herself: Omega, no!

Omega: I'll kill him! I'll f*cking kill him!

Hunter: You can't! Hemlock is too strong for you.

Omega: Tech would let me go.

Hunter: No, he wouldn't. And he's smarter than me.

Omega: Oh... that's actually a good point.

*****

Crosshair putting himself in harm's way to protect Omega in 3.04 "A Different Approach": WHY CAN'T YOU SAVE YOUR OWN DAMN SELF!?!?!

*****

Echo reuniting with Omega in 3.05 “The Return”: Omega! Are you OK? Do you need some juice? Did you get into that school you wanted?

Omega: Doesn't look like it.

Echo, screaming so loud all of Pabu can hear him: NOOOOOOOO!!!

*****

Crosshair, as he and his brothers go to Tantiss in 3.12-14: Alright, better go save Omega.

Hunter, referring to the clone prisoners: What about the others?

Crosshair: What about the others?

*****

Hemlock, as he guards the captured Batch Bad members in 3.15 “The Cavalry Has Arrived”: I'm going to drag each one of them down here and murder them until you finally give me what I want.

Omega, from a distance: No, please!

Hemlock, to Omega: Shhh. It's OK. I'll save your dad for last.

Hemlock, to the Bad Batch: HEAR THAT HUNTER?!!!!

Hunter: I mean, if you're just going to say it.

Wrecker: I don't get it.

*****

Omega: *hugs Crosshair for the first time in 3.15*

Different versions of Crosshair: *reacting in his mind*

TCW Crosshair: Did our heart just skip a beat?

Imperial Crosshair: That is precious.

S3 Crosshair: Shut. The. F*ck. Up.

*****

NOTE: I decided to throw an extra Tech one in there in honor of our bestest boy, and an extra Crosshair one because I'm a CrossDad fan. Plus, Piccolo and Crosshair are very similar, so I feel like Piccolo's quotes really work best for him.

If you'd like to watch the DragonBall Z Abridged / TFS clips for yourselves, I've linked them here.

[mrcaptainrex]

You Had One Job.

Crosshair x F!Wife!Reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Established Relationship, Dry/Rude Humor, Mentions of Blood

Summary: When Crosshair risked his life to send his brothers and wife a message, he expected them to heed his warnings. He should have known that his family never does things the way they're supposed to.

A/N: You know when you can never find a fanfic with your specific idea in mind so you write it yourself? That's what this is. This is purely self indulgent, and I'm not apologizing. Happy reading!

"Keep moving, traitor!" The trooper shouted from behind her, and pushed his blaster to her back for good measure.

"Wasn't planning on stopping, asshole." She mumbled to herself. The corridor was dark. The only real source of illumination was the blood-red ray shields containing what must have been hundreds of clone troopers. How could they do this to the men that fought for them so valiantly, not even a year prior? It disgusted her that the Empire was willing to treat its own soldiers this way.

"Stop here." One of the troopers finally barked. She stopped and turned towards the ray shield, but the cell was different than the others. It looked almost like an office. In the center of the room, a man leaned on the desk with a pleased smirk on his face. As the ray shield lifted and she was shoved in the room, she analyzed his face. He had a chiseled jawline, cold blue eyes, and slicked back hair as dark as his aura.

"Ah, the legendary Mrs. (Y/N) (L/N). How wonderful to finally meet you." He smiled. His voice was just as eerily calm as the look in his eyes. She couldn't quite place his intentions.

"Dr. Hemlock, I presume?" She asked.

He let out a slight chuckle. "I am surprised you know that. Very few do."

"Wasn't easy to find out. I actually came here to kill you, but your troopers here took my weapons." The doctor circled her menacingly, as if he was analyzing her.

Hemlock released the handcuffs strangling her wrists and motioned for her to sit. "I'm sorry they ruined your plans. But you and I both know you don't need a weapon to kill me. You could do it right now if you wanted to." As she sat tentatively, he sat on the chair opposite her side of the desk. "And it's getting ever more tempting by the moment, I bet." He teased. She forced herself to appear relaxed, but something about this man felt off.

"I have more self-restraint than that, Doctor."

"Clearly you don't have as much as you think."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Gladly." Hemlock placed a recorder before her and pressed the button.

Plan 88. They're after Om-

Plan 88. They're after Om-

Plan 88. They're after Om-

Hemlock let the transmission play a few times, allowing her husbands plea to mock her. He took pleasure in the way she became visibly uncomfortable at the sound of her husbands voice.

"I understand. It must have been hard when he abandoned you." If looks could kill, Hemlock would have been slowly crushed under the weight of a tank.

"You don't know him." She hissed. He nodded his head regretfully.

"Correct. Which is what I'm hoping you can help me with." Hemlock stood behind her and bent down so he spoke directly into her ear. "How do I get him to talk?"

"Did you try saying 'please'?" She said sarcastically.

The doctor released a heavy sigh and stood tall again. "I like you, Mrs. (L/N). You're quite funny. But humor and a pretty face will not help you here."

Despite the threat behind his words, she couldn't help but snort. "You really think I'm pretty?" This time, the Doctor did not laugh. He turned to face her again and grabbed her chin, harshly forcing her to look at him.

"Not for long." He said calmly. As he drew his hand away, the woman saw an opportunity. As hard as she could, she bit the Doctor's finger and refused to let go. His yelp of pain alerted the troopers standing guard outside the room. It took both of them to pull her teeth from his finger.

As Hemlock cradled his bleeding hand, she spat his blood and skin from her mouth with a red-stained grin. "Go fuck yourself, Doctor." The last thing she remembered was a harsh force to the back of her head, and falling to the ground.

-

Growing up, Crosshair believed there were two kinds of soldiers: brave, or stupid. Then he met his wife and learned there was a third option: ballsy. He never considered himself one to shy away from a fight, but he'd never met a woman as daring as her. That was once a trait he admired. Hell, it may even be the one that made him fall in love with her. But now, as he watched his wife's unconscious body be thrown into his prison cell, covered in the blood of a fight she undoubtedly started, he wished dearly that she was a coward.

He forced himself to stay seated on the ground until the troopers left. The moment the ray-shield reactivated, he crawled to her awakening body and held her close.

"(Y/N)? Can you hear me?" He cradled her head in his lap like she was made of glass and delicately brushed her tangled hair from her face. "Wake up, you di'kuit!" He inspected the blood seeping from her mouth, and couldn't help the proud feeling was over him as he realized it wasn't hers.

"Crosshair?" She croaked weakly. She felt like she was dreaming. After a year of being away from him, she finally lay cradled in his arms.

Upon hearing her voice, He helped her sit up and began inspecting her body for injuries. "Are you hurt?" He asked. She had never heard him speak with such concern. Sure, he'd been worried for her before. That was only natural in their line of work. But this wasn't worry. This was genuine fear.

"I'm okay," she assured him. "I'm okay." Her words calmed him. However, as his adrenaline wore off, the realization set in

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" He whispered loudly.

Well at least now she could be sure it wasn't a dream. That was definitely her Cross.

Like a child, she swatted his hands away from her face and pouted. “I was trying to save you!”

He looked around the cell, and back at her. “Well, you've done a great job, mesh’la.” He leaned back from his squatting position and sat against the wall opposite her. They stared at each other in tense silence for a moment. "You turned yourself in?"

"Please, you think these new 'stormtroopers' could bring me in by themselves?" His face expressed that he was clearly not pleased with his lovers actions.

"Could you explain to me how 'plan 88' translates to 'turn yourself in to the empire'?" He deadpanned.

She snorts. "Oh please, a warning is just a dangerous challenge."

Her carelessness did little to relieve his frustration. "Dammit, (Y/N) you had one job!" He snapped. Feeling his anger begin to take over, he took a deep breath and pinched the top of his nose. "I told you to run."

"And I told you to stay, so I guess know we're even." She rebutted bitterly. She didn't mean to say it, but the way that he reprimanded her like a child enraged her.

Her spiteful response surprised him. He went silent in shame. He never meant for any of this to happen. He wanted so desperately to go back in time. To stand in front of her on that Kaminoan platform one more time and hold her close. To tell her that he would never leave her side again. But unlike his lover, time was not so forgiving. "I'm sorry." He whispered so quietly she barely heard him.

She regretted her words as soon as she saw him shrink like a wounded dog. With a sigh, she scooted across the room until she was sitting next to him. "I really missed you." She said quietly. He looked up at her beautiful warm eyes with his own and practically melted. She cautiously rested her head on his shoulders and relished in the familiar feeling. For the first time a very long time, he allowed a tear to fall from his eyes. He couldn't bring himself to look down at her. Instead he opted to stare at the ceiling in hopes that gravity would keep his tears at bay. He didn't deserve this. Her forgiveness. He hurt her badly, and somehow she was able to act like nothing had happened. Why was she so good to him? Hesitantly, he leaned into her warmth and placed his hand over hers. When she didn't recoil, he felt a wave of emotions overcome him.

"I'm so sorry." He said quietly. "You deserve better."

She lifted her head from his shoulder and smiled up at him. "You are better." She responded.

He was sure he had never been more in love with her.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked.

Instead of responding, she gently held his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his. It wasn't like their kisses used to be - passionate and hungry. This time, his lips slowly and tenderly molded into hers with nothing but pure love. With every second that went on, his body and mind relaxed more and more. He could taste the dried blood from her mouth, but even that didn't bother him.

Suddenly, a familiar imperial alarm began sounding off, followed by emergency lights flashing. The desire in his eyes faded, and confusion took it's place. His wife, however, looked completely unfazed.

"What did you do?" He asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Remember that digestible tracker Tech was always working on?"

"Please tell me you didn't swallow a tracker."

"He made it meiloorun flavored!" She smiled.

As if on cue, the ray shield to their cell disappeared. "They boys are right on schedule." She stood and offered him a hand to do the same. While he struggled to regain his balance, her grip on his hand remained. "Welcome back to Clone Force 99, my love."

He gawked in amazement at his wife. This woman had been tortured, abandoned, betrayed and humiliated by him. And yet here she stood, after breaking into a top secret imperial base, with her hand extended and a still-bloody smile on her face. (Where that blood came from, he still wasn't sure.) If he could marry her twice he would. "Fuck, I love you so much." He exhaled as he wrapped himself in her embrace and felt relief for the first time in a long time.

[another-rogue-trevelyan]

I was tagged by @lykegenia, thank you so much for the tag! I’m tagging @hawkeish, @laurelsofhighever, and anyone else who would like to participate (and I do mean that, I would love to find more dragon age fanfic accounts, so please tag me if you post!). Also no pressure if I tagged you and you don’t want to!

I am in the very early stages of a Lucanis fic because crow husband has a death grip on me, so here is a bit of what I’ve been working on!

——————————————————————————

“Do you know her?”

“Hm?” Lucanis intoned, not hearing a word of the question. He was too busy watching Viago announce the final trial - that each initiate must drink from one of the many glasses on the table, most of which were poisoned. Those who found a poison-free glass would be Crows in full. The elven woman - Rook - glanced up worriedly, accidentally meeting his gaze, before turning her head to stare intently at the table. It was the second time he had caught her eyes this evening.

“Do you know her?” Illario repeated. “You said you’d seen her before.”

“No, not really. Perhaps I saw her in passing once.” Admitting he had saved her could get her killed, so Lucanis kept it to himself. She had survived the past few years since without intervention, so evidently she must have some talent. No need to bring it up now.

“Good. Let her enjoy her time with the more fun Dellamorte. If she lives, that is.”

“Mierda.”

Lucanis watched as one by one the initiates examined the wine and chose their glass. Many were successful - some were not. An Elven man with Dalish markings as well as a human woman both succumbed to poison and were quickly carried away. Some drank confidently, others uncertainly, and one panicked and refused, only to be angrily dragged off by the Sixth Talon. Lucanis saw Viago whisper something into Rook’s ear. She nodded almost imperceptibly, then stepped forward.

***

“Do not embarrass me,” Viago hissed into her ear. Elora gave a small nod in response before he nudged her forward, and it was her turn to face a table full of poison.

She should be able to do this. Poison was Viago’s favorite. She had trained with it for most of her life, and especially intently after it had almost killed her. All she had to do was remember her teachings and she would be an Antivan Crow.

They hadn’t made it easy. The glasses were all of different shapes and colors, and they were filled with different wines to make comparison more difficult. Elora picked up a glass, swirled it, and sniffed it.

Decent vintage, but not the finest. Earthy, but something else, too. Bitter?

“Hemlock,” she declared, dumping the contents into a nearby decanter, then pouring one of the tinted glasses into the newly emptied clear one. Now visible, she held the glass above her toward a nearby light.

Small pieces of something, barely noticeable. Fruity, sweet scent. A bit darker than usual.

“Nightshade.”

She dumped that glass too, then picked up another.

White wine. Light-bodied. No debris. No unusual scent. She picked up a nearby napkin, dipped the corner in the glass, and placed a small dab on her arm.

For a minute, nothing happened, but soon the patch of skin she had dabbed with the wine grew red and inflamed. As the skin wasn’t broken, Elora was sure she hadn’t been severely poisoned, though that spot might be bothersome for a day or two.

“Viago, it wouldn’t be one of your tests without adder, would it?”

“A favorite of mine,” Viago said, and Elora could have sworn she’d seen a hint of approval in his expression, gone before she could truly be sure. Encouraged, she picked up another glass.

Red. Full-bodied. An excellent vintage - not one worth wasting on poison. Not too earthy, not too sweet. No debris. Doesn’t irritate the skin.

Elora drank the entire glass. The room held their breath as they waited.

Then, a cheer and applause that began with the Seventh Talon and ended with Viago clapping her on the back and placing the feathered mantle she had chosen in case of success upon her shoulders.

“Fellow Crows!” he called out to the crowded ballroom. “I present to you, fully initiated member of the Antivan Crows, Elora de Riva!”

[ttzamara]

I just woke up, but hear me out my tbb/Tech people.

TECH COULD BE A LIVE (S3 Spoilers)

Listen pls. Or.. Read pls.

because it would make sense!

Okay so hear me out please!!

In season 3 Palpatine and Hemlock mentioned Project Necromancer. I watched tbb with a friend and at the end of episode three we brainstormed a bit & he mentioned that they could “revive” Tech. (Necromancy is the art or practice of supposedly conjuring up the dead, esp in order to obtain from them knowledge of the future)

I told him that it was bullshit because why would Palpatine need tech (don’t come for me pls i know that tech is a super asset for the empire) Anyway, BUT with Omega (and cross) leaving in episode three it would make so much sense. Not Palpatine needs Tech, but Hemlock does.

Hemlock needs Omega because she is the ‘specimen’ they need. So reviving Tech would make sense because he knows where they settled, he knows the batches strategies. That would also explain why we see imperial troops on Pabu in the trailer (picture below the text) plus tech really could be that guy

It took me a few days to kinda realise that and maybe i’m super late with my train of thoughts but well, thought i’d let you guys know

(pictures below)

Here is the Imperial Troops on Pabu infront of the tree and that building/mountain thing

And here’s the same location from earlier episodes

Plus that guy i meant

oh lord have mercy & don’t kill me with future episodes please.

Thanks for reading lovies, have a beautiful day🥲

-Amara

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Hey Mimi!

700 ??? I’m so happy to hear that you’ve been getting all the praise for your wonderful mind and writing. I always enjoyed your writing and think you’ve such talent! Thank you for taking the time to set up these little roulettes - I always look forward to sending in a request and reading the others you’ve done! With that, I know you can cook up something fantastic as always. I love how you write Crosshair — especially an imperial!crosshair or do I dare say, purgetrooper!crosshair— and you know, you’re so great at writing Medic!Kave —you can always try an ISB Agent!Kave but whatever you choose you have free range on this one — here are my top favorite quotes….

16. "There is always something left to love." Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

19. ”For you, a thousand times over." - Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

21. "Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for." — Joseph Heller, Catch-22

@kavecika Hello love,

Thank you so much for sending in such an awesome request. Sorry for the delay, but I hope I did Kave and the story justice. So I went with Medic!Kave, and Imperial!Crosshair. But it takes place during Season 3 of Bad Batch.

More specifically the latter half.

I hope you enjoy it.

Love oo

Never Give Up

Warnings: Torture, wounds, depression, anger, danger, angst, fluff-ish (if you squint), forehead kiss, I think that's it. If I miss anything, please let me know.

Main Master List   |   AO3 Link | Quote Roulette

Kave hated having to walk through the prison cells on Tantiss. 

One there were too many clones, too many that looked like friends that were long gone. Too many that were injured. Too many that looked lost and defeated. Every step she took broke her heart a little more. Yet, if she could offer even a little bit of care, a bit of comfort, then that’s exactly what she’d do. 

Zhellday was the worst day of every week, the new prisoners would’ve arrived at the beginning of the week, which meant they would be sent to Dr. Hemlock, they’d be tortured, experimented on, and driven to the point of madness. 

Now, it was her turn to check on them, which basically meant to see who survived or who was too brain damaged to continue.

It was hard to see clones so broken. 

At least most had survived this time, she opened the last cell to see a very sickly clone, he was quite thin, his head had been shaved, and there was even a burn mark on the right side of his temple, from what she could see. 

She went to her cart pulling out her scanner, good news was that he was still alive, bad news was that his wounds were extensive. She focused back on her cart getting the bacta patches and cleaning solutions she’d need to tend to his wounds. She hadn’t been paying attention to him, when the clone beside her rolled. 

Kave’s heart registered him before her eyes and mind did. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, as her eyes focused on the crosshair tattoo on his right eye. 

Her eyes welled up with tears as her lips trembled. She reached out her shaky hand to cup his very thin cheek, when she looked at the lines on his face, his sunken appearance, it hit her how difficult things had been for him. Especially when her eyes landed on the burn on the side of his head, her fingers gently trailed along the scar… what had he suffered? What had he endured? 

It didn’t take her long to tend to his wounds, and she knew she needed to leave, but she couldn’t pull herself from his sides. She gently pressed a kiss to Crosshair’s forehead. 

“I’m here, sweetheart. You’re not alone.” She whispered hoping he’d be able to hear her. She stood and took her supplies, looking back one last time before leaving him. 

It killed Kave not being able to be by his side when he needed comfort the most, but she needed to get her other work finished. A million questions ran through her mind, how did he end up here? What did he do that landed him in this godforsaken place? The last time she saw him, the both of them had exchanged heated words, she’d been frustrated he didn’t see how dangerous the Empire had become, frustrated how he refused to continue the discussion, how he didn’t even see that trying to hunt down his own brothers and civilians was a despicable act. It had been in the heat of anger, but before she could even stop herself the words were out of her mouth. 

“I can’t even look at you. You disgust me.”

She never meant it. Gods, how she wished she could’ve told him she regretted ever uttering those words, but no matter how hard she searched for him or tried to find information on him, he became a ghost, as all Imperial Commandos were in the system.

Once her duties were done, she found a way to sneak back down to the prisons, heading towards Crosshair’s cell, she opened it quietly. Her first concern was his wounds. 

“I’m back like I promised.” She whispered as she changed his bandages, “Look at you,” her voice trembled wondering how much pain he was in, “I’m sorry…” her eyes shifted to his face, shocked to find his eyes looking at her. 

“Kave?” His usually strong, confident, and snarky voice now sounded pained, confused, and completely exhausted. 

“Hey …” she gently shifted her hand to caress his face, “I’m here. I’m gonna get you out of here. Okay. I’ll come up with something …”

His shaky hand reached up and touched hers, “You’re real.”

“Yeah.” She smiled despite the tears in her eyes, “I’m real. I’m sorry, Crosshair. I’m so sorry for saying those things to you. I’ve regretted it…”

He shook his head weakly, “You were right …” he whispered, “I … I deserve this.”

“No. No you don’t.” She shifted closer, “No one deserves any of this. You don’t deserve this.” She emphasized. 

“You …” his voice shook, “you shouldn’t be here. You … you should leave.”

“Not without you. I can’t leave you.” She leaned closer, “I still love you. I’ve always loved you. I’m not leaving you.”

“There’s nothing left to love.” He strained to tell her he couldn’t bear to see her here. To be in this place that consumed everything.

“There is always something left to love.” She smiled back.

He looked at Kave with affection and longing, “I’ve missed you. We should’ve left when you told me.”

“Still plenty of time for us to escape.”

“We could die… you could die.” Crosshair whispered, wishing he had the strength to actually pull her into his arms. 

“Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for, my love.” Kave pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, she could see in his eyes how much he wanted her closer. 

Crosshair gently touched her cheek, his fingers lifting ever so slightly, “Do you ever give up on me?”

“Never.”

“Never stop loving me.”

“I never will. I will fight every day for the both of us. For you, a thousand times over.”

Main Master List   |   AO3 Link | Quote Roulette

Tag List:

@liadamerondjarin

@badbatch-simp24

@spicymcnuggies

@lady-ren

@firstofficerwiggles

@darkangel4121

@discofern

@kavecika

@monako-jinn-stories

@ladykatakuri

@avathebestx

@theroguesully

@furyhellfire66

@carodealmeida

@ciramaris

@sprout-fics

@twinkofthedink

@dindjarin-mandalorian

@ulchabhangorm

@littlemisspascal

@sprout-fics

@twinkofthedink

@clonethirstingisreal

@dragonrider9905reads

@dragonrider9905

@crosshair-is-the-superior-clone

@totallyunidentified

@griffedeloup

@leotawrites

@helenaslost

[noeasyisnoisy]

‼️TBB S3 FINALE SPOILERS‼️

why is the music ominous.

THE LOGO IS BLACK (did that happen before and i missed it?)

please tell me they won’t all die

this is terrifying

“guard the vault” THERE SO MANY OF THEM

OMG NALA SE

YES EMERIE‼️‼️‼️

yes omega they’re here but they’re not quite HERE yet 

oh god the times don’t line up

THE TIMES DONT LINE UP

SHES FKNNA ESCAPE AND NOBODY WILL BE THERE

OR SHES GONNA ESCAPE AS ECHOS GETTING THERE ISNT SHE

LMFAOOOOO THEY KNOCKED THAT BITCH OUR

isn’t that tunnel dangerous?? like omega almost got SMACKED a million times

they’re all force sensitive though so it makes sense

if wrecker passes out or smth they’re all screwed

OMG THE KIDS ARE OUT

TURN AROUND 

the fucking timing AHHDJFKFEHD

im so stressed

IF THAT BABY DOESNT SHUT UP

i’m sorry

i love kids but THIS ISNT THE TIME

OH FUCK THE ZILLO BEAST

HELP THAT CUT OFF (the zillo beast screaming and then emerie)

YALL SEE ECHO??

“the zillo’s loose!” echo: 🤨

ok at least emerie’s job is to find them

“omega.. she released the zillo” “how do you know that?” “because that’s exactly what i’d do.” STOP IT.

YOU KIDS BETTER FUCKING RUN

ECHO HUNTER CROSSHAIR HURRY

HIS HAND 💔

wrecker you’re not fine.

crosshair you can’t with your hand

clone force 99 is dead

i

i’m just

i’m gonna go cry now

CROSSHAIR YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOURE UP AGAINST

“it’s what i deserve” SHUT UP

“we do this together” YAAAAA

“echo’s handiwork? or omega’s?” “omega.” HELP

THE OPERATORS PLAYING

IS THAT TECH

I COULDNT TELL

holy fuck

THERES 4 OF THEM???

also hemlock looked so cool with the red lights and the smoke

HOLY FUCK THE 4 GUYS

that guy has to be tech because HES ALWAYS THE MAIN FOCUS

crosshair is you sacrifice yourself istg

HUNTER

NO

UR JOKING

HE DIDNT

HE CUT OFF HIS HAND??

NO FUCKING WAY

THEY GOT THEM

emerie and echo u need to start SPRINTING

OH FUCK

ECHO

YAYAYAYAY

THE HUG STOP ☹️

STOP TORTURING THEM

me bc hunter has heightened sense which means the electricity hurts even more than it already would

SHUT THE FUCK UP HEMLOCK

IF THEY KILL CROSSHAIR ISTG

STOP ELECTROCUTING HIM YOU FUCKING BASTARD

cry count: 2

the fact that nobody has plot armor is terrifying

YES OMEGA BREAK EVERYONE OUT

nala se’s gonna die isn’t she

RAMPART WHAT ARE YOU DOING

ughdhdh tarkin

TARKINS SHOWING UP???

i’m so scared

my heart is POUNDING

nala se what’re you up to queen

is rampart gonna kill her

NO FUCKING WAY

wrecker’s waking up

omega sees them

ok

we got this!!

THE POP UP WALLS HELLO?

cmon omega free them

WHY IS THAT GUY JS STANDING THERE

HOLY FUCK THEY STABBED HIM

oh shit she’s gonna die

HEMLOCK GET OUT

NONONONONONO THE GAS

rampart stfu

HE KILLED NALA SE

LMFAO HE DIED TOO

ok but tbb minus echo aren’t in the gas

YES WRECKER.

KILL THOSE HOES

NO HES TAKING OMEGA

HUNTER

YES WRECKERRR

DID HE JS KILL MAYBE TECH

ok so i guess it’s not tech

i’m crying again why the fuck am i crying

HEMLOCK LET GO OF HER

WHY ARE THE OPERATIVES NOT DYING

IM SO SCARED RN

CROSSHAIR

LET OMEGA GO YOU BITCH

ALSO WET HAIR HUNTER MEOWOWOWOWOW HES SO FINEEEE

stab him omega

you got this crosshair.

im bawling rn

YES

THAT WAS SO SMOOTH

now hug.

AWWW

i’m sobbing

THEY MADE IT

THEY DID IT

holy shit they left right as the empire got there

that’s actually terrifying

YESSSSS RESEARCH IS GONE

PROJECT STARDUST OMG

THE DEATHSTAR

THATS SO COOL

AWWW EMERIE ☹️

i’m sobbing again

THAT WAS SUCH A PERFECT ENDING

oh it’s not over

ADULT OMEGA

SHUT UP

GONKY

GRANDPA HUNTER

why is he such a dilf hello

sorry

“you’re our kid omega”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I CANT

TECHS GOGGLES

OK NOW THAT WAS THE PERFECT ENDING 

i’m gonna go type a paragraph 💔

[captaineyayah]

Happy Bad Batch eve, y’all ! Who else is absolutely terrified, excited, and ready to accept that they’re going to spend most of tomorrow in some sort of haze! I still don’t think I’ve truly processed that this is the final episode, but to help me cope I thought I’d share some of my anxiety riddled (probably delusional) theories about what the finale will bring.

First of all, I don’t think that this show will end like Rogue One did. I have seen people theorize that only Omega and the other kids will be the ones to successfully make it off of Tantiss, but this series has had such a focus on family that I can’t imagine that they would leave Omega on her own without any of her brothers. I also want to say that I don’t think that it will only be Omega and one other member of the Bad Batch who survives. I don’t think that they would kill off 4/6 of the main characters. Star Wars has always been about hope, even in the moments that seem hopeless, and I think that killing off over half of the characters would make this ending way more bitter than the bittersweet people keep talking about.

Secondly, for whoever does die (hopefully no one – except Hemlock), I cannot see any of these characters going out in any other way aside from self-sacrifice or as a catalyst for something. At this point, there is no way they would just randomly kill off one of these characters without it meaning something.

Moving onto the individual characters:

Wrecker is who I am honestly the least worried about. Do I think there is a 100% guarantee that he’ll live – no – but I do think that if they were going to pick one or two Bad Batch members to sacrifice themselves, I don’t think Wrecker would be their first choice.

Next up is Hunter and, honestly, I think I might be in the minority thinking that he might make it out of everything alive. I definitely wouldn’t put money on it, but his and Omega’s relationship has been a focal point of the show since day one, so I think that there is a chance that that’ll be how it ends. Now, can I also definitely see Hunter doing the sacrificial play or pulling an Uno reverse card on one of his siblings who tries to sacrifice themselves, putting himself in their place instead – yes…

This one might be a little more delusional than some of the others, and I have way more thoughts on him that I didn't include cause he's my favorite and this is long enough already, but there are basically two ways I can logically see Echo’s fate ending. Either he is the one to sacrifice himself (Filoni, I am in your fucking walls if you do anything to my boy!) or he is one of the ones to make it out, maybe not unscathed but alive. Midway through the season, I had started thinking that Echo wasn’t in enough of the episodes to make his death impactful, but with how competent he has shown to be in the past couple of episodes I’m starting to get worried. I do not know what they are setting up with his scomp getting stuck and I do not like it. There are also the parallels that everyone keeps pointing out between him and Fives in the stolen, blank armor and that does significantly scare me, but maybe this time he is successful in saving his brothers where Fives failed. Emotionally speaking, please, my boy has been through enough, let him live a happy little life after all the turmoil he’s been through! Please, I am begging you!

Finally, Crosshair is the one that if you had asked me when season 2 started coming out who I thought wouldn’t make it to the end of the series, I would have said him. Something about the line Rampart says about seeing how much Crosshair has actually changed from being just loyal to himself to being loyal to more than that makes me think that he’s going to sacrifice himself for his family, for the other kids, for the other clones. I can totally see Hunter trying to pull the sacrifice play, then Crosshair shoving him out of the way at the last second and doing it himself. I’ve seen people talk about how it would be a waste of his redemption arc that they’ve been building over the past two seasons, but this is also such a common trope that I can’t help but think it is a possibility.

Or maybe everybody survives and goes to live happily ever after on Pabu, and we're all stressed for absolutely nothing! (*muffled sobbing in the distance*)

[inklore]

i know i say this every time i reach a milestone, hell anytime i get a new follower that isn't a blank blog or bot, but i can't believe you guys are still here! still supporting me! still putting up with my chaos! i mean it each time i get all sappy about how grateful i am for each and every one of you and how i lucked out with you beautiful souls occupying this space with me. if i could send you all a little cupcake and a forehead kiss i would <3.

but since i can't do that let's have a little celebration instead!

like the flyer above states this celebration will focus solely on graphics and ya girl putting that photoshop to work and brushing off some of my old graphic and creative skills.

★ THE RULES.

you do not have to be following me to send something in unless something is specifically labeled 'mutuals only' then, unless we are mutuals, you cannot send anything from that section.

you can send in as many requests from whatever section as you want, there is no limit. but please refrain from sending requests for animated projects.

this celebration does not have an end date so unless the above image says 'closed' then send things in whenever you wish!

blank blogs and ageless blogs as well as minors please refrain from sending things in, respectfully.

do not steal or claim any of the graphics i make as your own.

♡ MUTUALS ONLY.

moodboards...i'll make you a personalized moodboard / aesthetic. ➥ a 'your vibe' moodboard aka i'll go off of the vibes and aesthetics you give off to me or a character + trope + scenario moodboard

gif requests...i'll make a gifset of whatever character you ask for. ➥ can be a certain scene, from a certain movie, what have you. but please note the list of characters + movies from the actors down below are more likely to give me the most inspo to make something from. but please feel free to ask me for someone not on the list because chances are i'll do it unless i truly dislike the actor or character.

ship edit...i'll make a little edit of a character i ship you with. ➥ i may include some extra things in the graphic because i can't just be simple with things, so you can give me a small list of your favs, your vibes, your likes, and dislikes, if you so wish.

✩ FREE FOR ALL.

movie recovers...i'll make you a movie poster. ➥ this goes for tv shows + some artists + character posters as well.

book + movie recs...ask me to rec some things. ➥ 'your favorite movies' + 'movies you suggest people who like [insert something here] watch' + 'underrated shows' + 'books with this vibe' + 'songs that remind you of this character' are all requests that are applicable plus so so much more, please be as creative and detailed as you wish.

banners...request a banner for whatever you wish to use it for. ➥ these are not personal which means anyone can use them not just you. can be for navigations, masterlists, etc. gifs are not applicable.

headers...just like the above but for mobile headers. ➥ same rules apply as the above section. shows, movies + characters, vibes + aesthetics all applicable.

dividers...i'll make you a set of fancy dividers. ➥ again these are not personal and for everyone to use and enjoy.

magazine designs...i'll make a little magazine-esk outtake for a movie, show, or character.

personal favorites...ask me my favorite anything and i'll make a cute little something to showcase it.

♥︎ CHARACTERS, SHOWS, MOVIES, ACTORS APPLICABLE. ➥ actors + their characters: adam driver, pedro pascal, oscar isaac, jodie comer, will poulter, aaron taylor johnson, thomas doherty, tgm cast but no tc. ➥ movies: scream franchise, any spooky movie, john wick, twilight. ➥ shows: killing eve, hemlock grove. ➥ etc characters: finnick odair, bruce wayne (except affleck and bale).

this list is only for the gif requests so disregard it for everything else or use it as inspo for your requests if you want. also please note that the gifs will be posted on either three of my gif accounts.

here you can find my graphics board on pinterest of past graphics i have made over the years + some inspo if you need it for requesting.

[thehammondlegacy]

Previous - Next

Transcript under the cut

Hemlock Road - 11 am

Olivia: Are you sure this is the way?

David: Liv, we came here almost every day when we were younger. I think I know the way!

Olivia: Well, it looks different...

David: Maybe because it's been like eight years since the last time we've been here

Olivia: So you never came here with Lottie?

David: Are you kidding me? Lottie would have hated that place! She wasn't a fan of the outdoors

Olivia: Right... Look! There it is!

David: Yeap... There it is...

Olivia: Come on, Leuchtenberg! Let's climb that thing one more time...

.......

David: If you see any snakes just let me know please, not like last time!

Olivia: *laughs* You have to admit that was funny!

.......

Olivia: Alright, time to climb, my friend!

David: Do we really have to do this? I mean, this ladder is pretty old and-

Olivia: Oh my god! Are you scared?

David: Well, I haven't climb that thing since I was fifteen!

Olivia: We came here before you went off to college!

David: I don't think it's safe, that's all...

Olivia: Come on, Davy! We haven't done this in years! Besides, this thing was already old when we discovered it!

David: Alright, fine... Just don't let me fall, alright?

Olivia: I won't...

.......

Olivia: Jesus, I've forgotten how hard this was!

David: Oh, no! This is as easy as riding a bike!

Olivia: Sarcasm is not taking you out of this, Leuchtenberg!

.......

Olivia: See! It wasn't that hard!

David: Yeah, right! My heart is still pounding fast!

Olivia: Honestly, you are so dramatic these days!

David: Look at that...

Olivia: Yeah... Best view in town! You should bring Louise here sometime...

David: I don't see her climbing that ladder

Olivia: She may surprise you...

David: Alright, say it...

Olivia: Say what?

David: You think I'm out of my mind, don't you?

Olivia: Do you really want to know what I think?

David: You know I do...

Olivia: I think you've been through a lot, and- Well, you have forgotten who you are and what really matters

David: I do know what really matters, Liv... I just know I won't have those things... I though I would have it with you, then with Lottie and it never ended well. I'm not made for love, but I have a duty, and this is how I'm gonna make it happen

Olivia: You could still have all those things, Davy... You can still fall in love again

David: Yeah? With who?

Olivia: Many women will kill just to know you... It only takes one with a big heart to melt the ice inside your chest

David: I don't believe anyone could do that... I just can't feel anymore. Sometimes, I don't even know if I still have a beating heart

Olivia: You do! You just need to allow yourself to feel again. It's not easy... Believe me, I know...

David: You do?

Olivia: Do you really think getting over you was easy?

David: Right... That's the thing... Love is just too complicated and when you love too much, you just get hurt. I don't even wanna feel that pain again, Liv

Olivia: I understand... But love can also bring happiness, and a lot of positive emotions...

David: I can't feel those anymore...

Olivia: You will feel it again, Davy...

David: Oh, really?

Olivia: Yeap... And I'll be there to tell you 'I told you so!'

David: I don't think it'll happen, but it's good to know I'll have a friend...

[cross-my-heartt]

thoughts about the finale from what I can remember right now:

[SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT]

They finally did it. They finally put their foot down about rescuing Crosshair and if there's anything that's gonna tide me over until season 3 it's THAT SINGLE CONVERSATION

We got a quality moment with Tech and Phee, so quality that I think I actually ship them now. (HAHA BUT FRICK ME BECAUSE THAT WAS ACTUALLY FORESHADOWING) I was worried when they didn't show her last episode because I thought they were just going to tease a fun comic relief kind of ship instead of, you know, having the characters be there for each other during important moments. As it should be You can't just put Phee in a side pocket and expect her to disappear when stuff gets serious.

That moment where they all look at Wrecker in sync is something I'll tuck under my pillow and look at when I feel like crying. This show has no right to be this funny before taking a sledgehammer to our hearts.

I was begging any god that would listen that the other infiltrators were clones, like I wanted it to be Cody so badly in that moment. I even think I heard DBB's voice when one of the commandos spoke and my pulse skyrocketed But no it was Gerrera. Which, okay plot reasons, and good plot reasons but still 🥲 Man but they really outdid themselves with the plot, it's actually crazy good. Such a roller coaster.

Kudos for actually letting one of the officers defend the clones. That's good writing. Realistically it makes sense and you don't get the feeling that they're all one dimensional psychos. As a side note I was impressed that one of the baddies (the one responsible for surveillance) had an accent other than posh British. And then I realized it was German 😂 like... c'mon guys

TECH. TECH MY MAN. YOU ABSOLUTE AMAZING INCREDIBLE BREATHTAKING LITTLE DUDE. I'm sorry guys but he stole it. Gave Crosshair a run for his money. I salute our little nerd for being the biggest bamf tcw has ever seen in that moment. The sass, the style, the one linery of it all. Of course he's not dead. You can't kill a character like that, you just physically (and metaphorically) can't.

I literally don't know how they'll recover from a trauma like that. They think he's dead. They watched him plunge to the ground. I am unwell (on their behalf).

So glad that AZI was incorporated back into the plot. The little dude deserves it and we love to see him.

'I liked goggles' 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 girl you better know how to perform miracles because that's the only thing that's redeeming you now

Wrecker was wiping tears when they talked about Tech. They were trying so hard to be strong for her. They were in agony on the inside and they still tried so hard for her. Wrecker was shaking his head when Hemlock offered Hunter the exchange, they are ready and willing to die on the spot for her I-

'who knew clones could be so... paternal' *cue shot of Hunter's face* *cue me being deceased on the floor*

AHFSEGFHJRDGHARDGRHGR that's it, everything that happens next is just AHRJHEASGFHJEGFHFRDGG. don't expect me to be more coherent than this

I didn't know they could animate Kaminoans to emote but dang they did a good job with Nala Se.

I'd given up hope of seeing Crosshair's face these episodes but we got him and Omega in one scene together and I guess that goes to the 'help me survive until season 3' pile.

I know we'd already clocked Emerie as a clone and fishy but there's nothing more satisfying than good foreshadowing paying off. This show doesn't give us cheap subversion but actually good plot twists where it's appropriate and they don't make the audience feel like fools by feeding us false clues. Mad respect for that. I don't think we realize how rare that it these days.

Finally, I'll need all of you to hold my hand after this, please-

[childe-of-saulot]

VV do you have more poisonous plants in your garden? If so what kind? Please talk poison to me my liege 🥺🥺🥺

Fun fact:

This book was the first book I bought from our school library when I went to gardening school. It's a short book on some of the poisonous plants native to Denmark. it says the exact amount considered lethal as well :). I would love to have more than i currently have, just to have them.

Now Fingerbøl (Foxgloves) are the only ones currently thriving in my garden and it was more of a casual test of spreading the seeds and seeing if they would thrive, I've just sorta let them grow where they wanted only purposefully planting some along the fence separating me and my neighbors gardens. However i am attempting to propagate Stormhat(Wolfsbane) and will hopefully be able to plant them in the garden this summer. All parts of this plant is poisonous and should be handled with gloves. Now from here is more plants i would like to have but i dont have space for so are not likely to own, with the exception of the last one. Taks(Common yew) is a bush, most of the plant is poisonous except the fruit of the bush but especially the seeds and needles. poison from this tree had been used for hunting, book specifically says "A horse will die of eating less than a mouthful"

Guldregn(Golden Chain/ Golden Rain)

Beautiful tree id love to have one, but they grow big and i simply do not have space for more trees.

gorgeous! and just 20 seeds from this plant is enough to kill a grown man :).

Last but not least! the most poisonous plant in Denmark. sometimes i go on the look for this because i would love to grow them.

Gifttyde (Cowbane/Water Hemlock)

the entire plant is poisonous but the root is the most poisonous part. the root looks like a parsnip but take one bite and you're likely gonna suffer a painful death. usually it only accidentally leads to the death of livestock who accidentally consume it. All of these plants can just be found in nature if you're looking for them.

[notallthoseinheadspace]

Some long rambling speculation on the last couple episodes of The Bad Batch below the cut.

(If any of it doesn’t make sense please forgive me, today’s round of chemo fucking flattened me.)

Going off my other post about how I do suspect CX-2 is Tech and Omega is Force-sensitive (I don’t know how to embed it and I’m too tired to figure it out right now, I can edit this when I don’t feel like I could be slipped through a letter slot) I’m caught on how Omega said that last time she escaped she had help. That was Crosshair.

She doesn’t know he missed, but she has to know there’s a chance. Even though his hand was steady after he started meditating with her, that sort of problem doesn’t get fixed overnight. So I’m still wondering if she had a backup tracker on her that wasn’t scanned - or, in a callback to the scene in the mine, she and CX-Tech had a heart-to-heart in the ship. Maybe she knows she has help coming separate from what we the viewers know.

The previews showed Hunter in what looked like a single-person vessel (the one they were in didn’t have a fully glass cockpit? Well, transparisteel. You know what I mean.) which suggests to me that they get into the base and wind up in the base’s fighter craft somehow?

(I’m fully expecting Hunter to do a sacrifice play. I hope he doesn’t succeed. I want the whole Batch together and happy again.)

The Cavalry mentioned in the last episode title seems like it would be a callback to their first appearance in TCW - Wrecker says ‘the cavalry has arrived!’ as he’s stepping off the ship to greet Cody and Rex - which gives me hope that the cavalry in question is not only the reunited Bad Batch but also Rex and Cody coming to their aid.

Another scene I can imagine happening and would love to see: Crosshair taking a shot at CX-2, who falls, helmet dramatically rolling away to reveal a scarred Tech - who, after a long moment of shock and horror, opens his eyes to groan out ‘Crosshair, you missed.’

Presumably the station on Tantiss will be destroyed - by the Zillo beast we saw the shadow of? By Wrecker and Crosshair planting explosives and then detonating them with one of the signature ricocheting shots? (Please not by someone pulling a Hevy. I am tired and everyone has enough trauma, Echo especially.)

Ideally the Batch would be presumed dead and Hemlock and all his research would be destroyed so there’s no reason for the Empire to continue searching them out, and they can retire in peace (although I do see Omega seeking out more training and involvement with Rex’s clone rebellion once she’s older - and I really fucking hope we get a series of that. Echo is my favorite, I would genuinely like to see him onscreen more. Also, we never did have the story behind how Rex, Wolffe, and Gregor wound up in their mobile fishing home. I’m fairly sure it’s horrible and tragic and I want it anyway.)

What they’re going to do with Rampart is baffling me - he doesn’t seem to have realized that his surviving this escapade is entirely reliant on Crosshair’s goodwill. Y’know, the guy he relentlessly dehumanized and never let eat a full meal and seems way too comfortable casually pushing around. (What is the way Crosshair is holding him when he stumbles in the ‘negative’ scene? It would make sense for Cross and Wrecker to be restraining him but it’s so weirdly tender?)

So, in very rambly conclusion, my speculative theories:

- CX-2 aiding Omega and revealed to be Tech

- Callback to the mine cave scene with Omega and Tech talking

- Cavalry is Rex, Cody, Gregor (and possibly Wolffe? Unless they are giving us a Clone Rebellion series and Wolffe joining Rex is covered in that)

- Crosshair’s tremor comes back, but as a positive (doesn’t kill his brother!)

- Deaths include Hemlock and Hunter (I don’t want Hunter to die. I just have a feeling. They’re not going to kill Omega and killing Crosshair at this point in his character arc would just be bad writing. Redemption equals death is a sloppy, lazy trope and it doesn’t work when someone’s already doing the work to redeem themselves. I’m unsure about Wrecker, but I can see him pulling a Hevy to let the others escape.)

- Emerie turning on Hemlock enough to help the children escape but not escaping with them. I have no guesses on Nala Se. TBB has pushed to make her a more sympathetic character, but it also seems like her imprisonment is weakening her a great deal. If I had to guess, she will try to tell Omega what Omega’s mutation is but die before she can finish, setting up Omega to research/train etc in any possible sequels/later appearances.

If this makes no sense blame the Taxol, if I’m right about anything blame the dodgeball.

[miscellanyofmusings]

Rifftrax Sentence Starters

“______, didn’t I dispatch you to hell earlier?”

“ ______, shut up forever.” 

"Alright. That does it. I officially have no idea what we're looking at, why we're here, or even who I am anymore."

“And I pray that I never have to emote any more than I just did. I'm exhausted.”

“And if you're ready, _____, may I offer you a wide-awake nightmare?

“Aw man, I thought we could trust the slimy loser.”

“Being a creepy evil creep is a reward in and of itself.”

“Bland? I mean, honey? Can I make you some bland milk? I mean, warm bland? I mean, warm milk?”

“Careful, they might miss at you.”

“Die! Die in a fire! Live again and then die!”

“Did you guys just see that or has my brain fully melted?”

“Do you think you can do me the teensiest favor and just kill me now?”

“Feels like an NPR audio essay is about to break out.”

“Forgive me, Father. I killed like eight guys today.”

“Fuck you. Pay me."

“Having knowledge about things is not really my specialty.”

“He died as he lived: looking dumb as Hell.”

“He has all the fighting skills of a sock monkey."

“Hell is other people and stuff.”

“I’m condescending for no reason, got it?” 

“I've tried nothing—And it's not working!"

“I can’t answer your question because that would acknowledge you exist.”

“I can’t live with myself knowing there’s something out there I haven’t murdered.”

“I don’t want to oversell it, but it will fill you with sadness.” 

"I find words difficult because I can't punch them."

“I have a two part question. One, will I ever feel joy again? Two, what did I do to deserve this?”

“I hope you like really tough burnt meat and shitty scotch.”

"I love it when a plan sort of slowly congeals together."

“I thrive on your ignorance.” 

“I tripped and fell up five flights of stairs and landed here.”

“Is your torture basement even up to code?”

“It’s not what you said; it’s that you exist.”

“It irritates me too that I can defy logic, time, and physics."

"It is pleasant to be happy because it increases our amount of gladness."

“Let's carpe diem and mumble and mope like we've never mumbled and moped before!”

“Mind if I dial up the gay?”

"Never have I cared so little about so few for so long."

“Nothing calms a kid more than a poster of a deranged clown.”

“My philosophy is to see how many Pop-Tarts I can eat in two minutes.” 

“No, don’t, ____, please! Seriously! I will kill all your enemies! Please!”

"No good story ever starts with ‘so there I was, pouring gasoline all over the dead girl’s body.’”

"Oh good. Something else for the Gallery of Things That Should Not Be."

“Oh, thoughtless sociopath, you’re my best friend.”

“Okay, so I’ll take that ominous cryptic answer as a firm yes.”

“Our hero— again, fighting like a sociopathic four year-old.”

"Please don't ruin this moment by surviving!"

“Rush in blindly! A plan can only hinder us!"

"Screaming? Laughter? At this point, what's the difference?"

“So where do you think you’re gonna dump my body?” 

"So…You give up here often?" 

“Society as we know it would disintegrate if people knew the truth about whatnot.”

“Thank you, most boring sounding person in the world.”

“That’s a very friendly murder threat.”

“That sounded a lot more menacing and less gay in my head.” 

“This is my bullshit lecture!” 

“Wait a minute, I thought you said ‘pass the time,’ not ‘destroy all hope in the universe.’” 

"We are reconciled now through the cleansing power of violence."

“Well, that was neither fun nor interesting, but at least it gave us no new information.” 

“Well, time to pretend I know stuff.”

"Well, whoopty-shit."

"Welp... Forgone conclusion ain't gonna forgone conclude itself."

“Who can resist an asshole?”

“Women, right? Always like, ‘This seems fatally stupid!’ Blah, blah, blah.’”

“Yeah, I do feel my own mind drifting through thoughts of Socrates—in that I want to drink hemlock and die.”

"You're a lying liar who lies! You lie!"

“You're not allergic to severe acid burns, are you?”

“You taste like libertarianism and cigars.”

“Your evil is reassuring.” 

“Your violent, misogynistic criminal vibe lets me know I can trust you.” 

[stayspookymockingbirdlane]

RP Starters from "The Munsters" (2022)

Geez, conceited, much?

Simply dropping ice-cold facts.

Zombie problem solved.

You know, a man is more than the sum of his parts.

What do I look like, a moron?

Well, I suppose you have a better idea.

You'll kill us both!

I could have altered mankind's place in the universe.

I have pictures of my fuzzy little nuggets!

Cute little fella.

I'm gonna go...

I want a man who makes my blood run cold.

Let me guess... he's broke again.

That's not something you see everyday!

Don't you dare touch that dial!

Beauty goes skin-deep, but ugly goes down to the bone.

I'm looking for a vision... a queen.

Which dress says I'm very, very interested, but not miserable and depressed?

HEY, NUMBSKULL!

When they made me, they broke the mold!

We're dealing with some serious brain power here!

Dazzle me with your side-splitting wit.

I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that you were special.

I'm just a regular gal living a boring, normal life.

If there's one thing I know, it's that the rest of the world melted away as soon as you appeared in my life.

Perfect husband coming up!

Everybody's in a dancing mood tonight.

You know I never drink wine.

You're the hemlock in my veins.

My sweet pussycat.

All I ask is that we spend the rest of my lives growing disgracefully old together.

What a cream puff!

Can someone please call 911?

He's your bloody problem now, mate!

You know how wolves get after a few too many.

I would hate to think I just threw my life away marrying a blockhead!

I hate to say it, but old Paris is overrated.

You look so continental and suave!

And she swore she would get revenge on me.

Bottom's up!

Who's side are you on?

So manly!

Over my dead body.

You gotta get ahead of the curve if you wanna swerve.

Scram.

Have you fellas heard about the new glass coffins?

Don't argue with me.

Well... now what?

[mute-call]

Valentine's Day Application

{SUBMITTED BY :  @red-hemlock​  || LINK }

Your name: Riversong, but please, call me River.

Romantic or platonic?: Hmm…

A night in or dinner out or an activity?: I love to move, but I get the funny feeling that you’re a bit of an ‘inside guy’. Nothing wrong with doing something nice and easy, once in a while.

Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: Oh the latter, always. They can be so very fun to feed other people.

What’s your perfect date?: Let’s ‘expand’ a little, on the activity question from above. Picture this, darling: Curtains closed, lights dimmed low. Just me and you in the center of the room, dancing slow to a tune on the radio.

Would you cook for me?: Erm-… I’d remember to put the pizza in the oven, after you turn it on?

Would you let me cook for you?: Oh yes, I’d NEVER turn down free food, darling!

Can we make-out?: Hmmm…

Make out in private or in public?: Probably private, for the public’s sake. I do love a good ‘show’, but I can’t promise we wouldn’t get arrested. Public indecency laws, and everything.

Do you like to cuddle?: Does the Pope have a silly hat, darling?

Blankets or no blankets for cuddling?: Blankets, please. The warmer the comfier, after all!

Couch or bed?: Both have their little positives, but-… Whichever one’s the most 'sturdy’, really. Take that info as you will. >;3c

What are at least 3 hobbies of yours?: Nothing too fancy, really. Flower-crown making, whittling, though I’m afraid I’m no Da Vinci still when it comes to that yet; and extreme gardening! 'Extreme’, as in all of the pretty little plants that I grow could very well kill you if you’re not paying the right amount of attention, haha.

Tell me something about you no else knows: Hah! Going for the real meat and potatoes now, are we? Ohhh alright, I’ll indulge since it’s you, dear. Now don’t go around telling everyone and their mother this, but I LOVE a good romance flick; and sometimes, well, most times I tend to get more than a bit emotional when I watch said flicks.

Why do you want to be my valentine?: At first I just wanted to apologize for before. I really was kind-of a jerk to you, not to mention the whole… Dumpster-thing… But you’ve got more guts to you than I think you realize, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you at your side. If you’ll let me, of course.

What makes you a good Valentine?: Oh plenty, dear! I’m funny, I can fold people into pretzels if they’re bothering you, I’m good with my hands… But all jokes aside, I’m loyal to a fault, and I’ll always come running to pull you from the fire should you call. I might not be the most 'morally sound’ sometimes, but who cares about silly things like that, anyway! R-Right?

Oh, those are the good kind of “hmm”s. Much to,,, think about!!!

How is it that River just gets more and more attractive impressive with every passing day? Those hobbies of hers? Steven could listen to her talk about those for hours. She has this effortless charm, this balance of deadly allure and feminine grace and lovable playfulness and–

Okay, Steven. Calm down. He can still give an enthusiastic “yes” without making a fool of himself. But, really, can anyone blame him for getting a little worked up? River’s perfect. And she’s left plenty of room for his mind to wander–