#Hell of a comeback post summer break

[starlightandsouls]

Yours To Have, Yours to Break

Summary: What if instead of Nesta, Cassian found out about Azriel and his secret lover. What will happen when the hearty general, in his anger of being left out, causes his brother's happiness to fall apart? How will he atone for his mistake?

A/N: Of course I had to make my comeback with the angstiest angst to ever angst. And that too by turning my fluffiest fic into pure pain. I guess you can say that this this is a spin off of Yours to Keep and Cherish. Also... I know I dropped off the face of the earth but life happens guys. I'm sorta back and here's a fic to make up for it.

Disclaimer: If you're an Elain fan, I would recommend you not read this. I would hate to ruin your day. I do not hate Elain. This is just an idea I got from all the soap dramas I've been seeing recently. Don't kill me please.

Also this shit and not edited. But I was so desperate to post something that I honestly don't care. Hope y'all like it. And yes there will be a part 2

Cassian POV:

As the General of the Night Court’s armies, Cassian had many duties: training soldiers, commandeering battalions at the borders, coming up with war strategies, buying romance novels for his mate and her friends. He wasn’t sure when the last one made its way on his list of responsibilities, or who put it there, but there it was. And who was Cassian to deny his mate?

So that’s how the Lord of Bloodshed found himself standing aimlessly in the middle of the Rainbow, scratching his head, with a list in his hand. Nesta had sent him off to find the newest edition of a Sellyn Drake novel but he hadn’t the slightest idea where to find it. His mate had instructed him to visit a particular bookshop named “The Quill”, being sure that they would have the newest book. Unfortunately, because luck had named him its nemesis at birth, the bookshop was closed for the day. He had asked around and apparently the owner had just left an hour prior to his arrival. Of course, they had.

That is why he had been wandering around the Rainbow, walking into one bookshop after the other, but somehow not one of them had the book Nes wanted. What are the odds of that? How is it possible that only one bookshop in the entire city had this specific book? And why did it have to be closed today? Cassian knew returning empty handed would not only incur the wrath of his beloved mate, but also her Valkyrie sisters. And given the fact that he himself had been teaching them some new disarming techniques, he had no desire to become their training dummy.

While he did not intend on stopping his hunt, he was quite parched. As the summer season approached, afternoons in Velaris became increasingly sweltering. A chilled glass of wine would do just the trick to cool him down, and also relax his nerves. Just as he was deciding on which bar to stop at, he remembered a conversation he had had with Mor the other day. She had told him about a café she had discovered that served the best margaritas during lunch time. Honestly, she hadn’t stopped raving about it for almost a week. What the hell. He was already out in town, might as well try a new place. If it turned out to be good, he could bring Nesta to placate her in case he couldn’t find her book.

Mind made up, he took off to the air, the subtle breeze as he did so, instantly making him feel better. Gliding through the clouds, the twists and turns with wind, were always a guaranteed way of cooling down.

Said café was perched on a hill overlooking the Sidra. He took in the view and the lush gardens outside the café as he landed, and started to walk in. The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior; the décor a blend of elegance and coziness. Oh yeah, he was definitely bringing Nesta here for a date.

He had just given his order to a waitress who looked way too giddy writing it down. Thank the Mother Nesta wasn’t here. Or someone might as well have lost a hand.

Although this is one of the reasons why he didn’t like coming to restaurants and bars alone. Not having company meant he didn’t have anyone to share his stories and jokes with. So, as he waited for his order to arrive, he sat back and took in the people around him; a habit that looked casual enough but was one instilled in him during his years training in the Illyrian camps.

He had been admiring the view from the balcony in the corner when his order arrived. Smiling a thank you, he took a sip from his margarita and damn was it good as Mor had said. He made a silent note to himself to thank her for the recommendation. He was in the middle of another deliciously cold sip, when something caught his eye in the corner of the room, causing him to choke.

What. The. Fuck.

Cassian was sure he looked like a blubbering fish with how his jaw dropped open and his eyes bulged out their sockets. He had to be dreaming or hallucinating from the heat. Yes, that must have been it, the heat had surely gotten to his head. For Cassian could think of no other explanation for the sight in front of him.

His brother, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court, torture extraordinaire, was sitting hand in hand with a beautiful young woman, smiling like a love-sick fool and… eating macarons? Since when did Azriel like deserts? Or the more pressing question: who the hell was he sitting with? Cassian knew his brother liked to keep his lovers secret, but deep down his gut told him this was no mere fling, or one-night stand. For starters, Azriel was smiling like a puppy drunk on love, while bringing the lady’s hand up to his lips to kiss. Cauldron. Just as Cassian had somewhat stopped gawking like a fish out of water, he saw the lady lean over and whisper something across the table, causing Azriel to throw his head back and let out a hearty laugh.

Although he couldn’t explain why, but at that moment Cassian felt a sharp hurt go through him. For he could not remember the last time Azriel had laughed like that with them. Damn it, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen Azriel smile nearly as much as was doing now at any family function.

Before he could even begin to process what had unfolded before him, he saw Azriel pay the bill for their food and the couple walked out hand in hand. Immediately Cassian was on his feet, ready to follow them. If someone had asked him why he did what he did at a later moment, he would not have been able to explain himself. At that moment, Cassian was driven only by curiosity and a minor note of hurt too-why had his brother hid this from them?

Rushing out after paying the bill, Cassian saw the happy couple walk down the cobblestone path, once again arm in arm, with the woman leaning against Azriel. Another thing that shocked Cassian: how the hell had Azriel not noticed him by now? Those pesky little shadows normally informed his brother of every detail of his surroundings; Azriel’s own heightened senses and observational skills were what made him the Spymaster of this court. So, for him to not notice Cassian so obviously trailing behind them at a distance, was a testament to how captivated his brother was by the woman on his arm.

At one-point Cassian thought that his brother would winnow with his partner and he would lose them, but the couple continued their stroll without a care in the world. He continued to trail behind them while also maintaining somewhat of a distance. Azriel may not be as hyper vigilant as always, but he wasn’t blind by any means- and Cassian was no small man either.

“Breakfast was delightful, darling. We should plan another afternoon here, what do you think?” he heard the woman comment.

“Of course, but I am oh so very tired. I think I need a few days alone at home with my nightingale to recharge,” Azriel replied with a smirk.

Cassian balked on the inside: okay Mr. I Don’t Need To Resort To Poetry.

“We could always have breakfast here again on Saturday. It is our two-year anniversary, and I intend on spending the day however my nightingale wishes. I think the café can be a brilliant start to our day,” Azriel offered, laughing as the woman swatted his arm at the previous comment.

Reaching the end of the path, Azriel grabbed the woman in his arms and winnowed away, leaving behind a thoroughly perplexed Cassian.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Cassian was convinced he must have stood there for another half an hour before coming to his senses. He then took off to the House of Wind, ready to face his mate and the Valkyries’ collective wrath. And his assumption had been right; the three women had blown up when they saw him return empty handed and had proceeded to go on twenty-minute-long rant. For the life of him, Cassian could not have repeated a single word they had said. Because he had not listened to a single word, at least not while paying attention. As their rage had quelled, Cassian had simple gotten up and walked to his room, ignoring the questioning looks from his mate.

While Nesta was still in the library with the girls, Cassian had retreated to bed. And that is where he was now: sitting in bed, staring at a wall, completely at a loss for words. He could not even begin to process what he had seen, let alone understand what he was feeling. For some reason he could not get over how openly Azriel had laughed with that woman, how alight his eyes had seemed. It was as if the Shadowsinger was glowing with happiness, as paradoxical as that sounds.

And it’s not like Cassian wasn’t happy for his brother-quite the contrary. He was just hurt that Azriel had chosen to hide something like this from him for two years. Two years. The words clanged around his head like the sharp tolling of a bell. Azriel had this from them for two goddamn years. And he had a sinking feeling that if he had not discovered the two of them today, he would not have found out for quite some more time.

But why? Keeping casual flings a secret was no big deal. They all had had ventures they didn’t tell anyone, he was sure of it. But if the couple were celebrating their two-year anniversary, then it must be serious. Cassian could tell his brother was committed just by how he had been looking at the woman. And if Azriel truly was serious about this woman, why would he hide it from them? His family?

That is the part that pierced his heart. Up until this day, Cassian had thought the two of them to be rather close. Sure, Rhys and Az clashed from time to time because of their own attitudes, but he liked to think that Azriel and him had always been close. Azriel was his best friend for Cauldron sake. Whenever he had had issues with Nesta at the beginning of their relationship-and he had plenty- Azriel had been his confidante, the one he went to for advice. His brother had been there for him at the highs and lows of his journey with Nesta.

So why hadn’t he let Cassian do that for him? Why had his brother chosen secrecy when he could have confided in Cassian? It’s not like he wouldn’t have supported them. He knew his brother was secretive and shy, but it was one thing to hide things about his work and another to choose to hide such a major part of his life from his brothers.

They were brothers, they were supposed to support each other, to stand by one another, not keep secrets and tell lies. All of a sudden Cassian saw the past two years in a different light. He recalled all the times Azriel had shown up to breakfast with an unusually cheery mood, all the times he had been rushing to leave family dinner, all the times he had skipped their get togethers with the strangest excuses. How long had this been going on? And for how long had they been so painfully oblivious?

Did Azriel not trust them? No, that can’t be it. Did Azriel think he could not open up to them? Each explanation he came up with seemed less plausible than the last. As he continued to spiral, Cassian began to question whether the two were as close as he thought them to be.

Why. Why. Why.

“You know if you stare at the wall any longer, you’re going to burn a hole into it.”

Nesta. He hadn’t even noticed when she had come into the room, and judging by her amused look, Cassian assumed she had been there for some time. Pushing off the wall she had been leaning against, Nesta walked over and sat by him on their bed.

“I’ve been calling your name for the past five minutes, where’s your mind at?” Nesta asked while pushing some stray strands of hair behind his ear.

Shit. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t just tell Nesta something he himself wasn’t supposed to know. If he hadn’t walked into that caf�� by chance, Cassian would have been none the wiser about this whole situation. For whatever reason Azriel was keeping his relationship secret, he didn’t think it his place to reveal it.

“It’s nothing, Nes. Just thinking about Wind Haven. I’m supposed to head up there next week and I already know Devlon’s going to be a pain in the ass,” Cassian tried to divert.

“Since when have you started getting so worked up over Devlon? He’s going to whine and throw a fit, but ultimately he is going to have to do what you say. You’re worried about something else. What is it?” his ingenious mate inquired. How her intuition was so good he’d never know, honestly sometimes he thought of handing over the mantle of General to her, with how good she was.

“C’mon. You know you can tell me whatever is bothering you,” Nesta pushed while grabbing his hand in her own and damn did he melt at that.

“Alright. If I tell you, you cannot tell anyone else.”

Nesta sat up straighter at that, ears perked with curiosity, eyes wide open and eager.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Nesta answered while nodding.

“I’m serious about this Nes. You can’t tell anyone, not even Emerie or Gwyn. No one,” Cassian reiterated, trying to get his mate to understand how serious it was.

“Alright, alright. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

Cassian sighed before revealing what was very much not his secret to reveal,

“Azriel has a girlfriend.”

“Wait-what?”

“Az has a girlfriend,” Cassian repeated.

“No, I heard you the first time. But…how…when??? Why hasn’t he told anyone?”

“I have no idea, Nes,” Cassian replied while falling back against the headboard. He once again took to staring at the wall; confusion and hurt running rampant through him again, echoing the same question again and again.

Why had Azriel kept this a secret from them? From him?

“When did he tell you?” his mate inquired.

“He didn’t,” Cassian chuckled, “I stopped at that new café by the Sidra to get some drinks to cool down while I was out for your books. I saw them together there.”

A beat of silence passed between them before Nesta barged on with her questions,

“You seem…upset about all this?”

“I am. Not at the fact that he has a girlfriend, Cauldron no. It’s about time the idiot found someone. It’s just…why didn’t he tell us? Why keep it a secret?”

“Maybe…it’s new? You know Az. Maybe he just wants some time to figure things out himself before he tells you all,” Nesta reasoned.

Cassian let out a bitter laugh before spitting out,

“It is very much not new. The two were planning their two year anniversary at the same restaurant this weekend. Two goddamn years, Nes. He’s been lying to us for that long.”

He wrenched his hand from hers at that. Cassian knew he was being unfair and unreasonable, but he was angry. Maybe he had no right to be but one does not think clearly when in the clutches of fury.

As his previous confusion and hurt settled, they left behind only anger in their wake. That is what he felt right now. Anger. At Azriel, for lying to them all this time, for hiding something so significant. Did he not consider them brothers?

Before he could succumb to the ravages of anger, his darling mate was there to pull him back, as she always did.

“I can feel all that you know. Don’t let your anger override what you know to be true. This relationship of Azriel…it has nothing to do with us. We’re not entitled to anything regarding it just because we’re his family.”

“Oh so what I’m just supposed to ignore the fact that he’s been lying to us about his whereabouts and plans for the past two years, when he could have just told us?”

“No I am asking you to trust Azriel. You know your brother, Cass, probably more than anyone else. You know that he has a reason for everything he does and you know that he would never do anything to hurt his family intentionally. If nothing else, trust in that.”

Cassian sighed a defeated sigh. His mate was right, as she always was. For whatever reason Azriel had decided to keep this relationship a secret, Cassian would have to trust in it. And when the time came, he hoped his brother would feel comfortable revealing the truth himself.

……………………………………..................................................

Little did Cassian know, that despite the fact that he had made Nesta swear not to tell Azriel’s secret, he had unintentionally revealed it to a third. For outside their bedroom clutching books she had meant to return, stood Elain. Elain, who had almost torn the books with how hard she was clutching them. Elain, who’s hands quivered with rage.

This is why Azriel had been ignoring her. All these months she had been trying to get his attention and he had always slipped away. Because of this?? Some common girlfriend?

No matter. Elain would get him back. How could he ignore her for some commoner? Who deserved his love more than her?

As she walked away, already planning her schemes, a wicked thought went through her mind, a precaution in case she couldn’t convince Azriel:

If I can’t have him, no one can.

...............................................................................................

Azriel POV:

The past few days had been the happiest he had ever been. Although Azriel wasn’t quite sure how fair that judgement was. Each hour he spent with his nightingale, he deemed his happiest. And it has been two years of such blissful happiness. Two years together at each other’s side that they were celebrating today.

He had already arrived at the same café they had breakfast a few days ago and was now anxiously awaiting his beloved girlfriend. Honestly, he would have preferred that the two arrive together, not wanting to spend a minute away from his nightingale. But alas, not everything had to be as he wished. As soon as she had woken up, his nightingale had slipped out from his arms (something he had still not forgiven) and had rushed to her book shop. According to her, she had some urgent delivery that she just had to be there for. Therefore she had promised him that she would meet him directly at the café.

That left him, sitting in their favorite spot in the café, with his head swiveling to the door every time it opened, hoping his nightingale had arrived. It wasn’t like she was late, it’s just that he too early, wanting what he hoped would be a great start to a celebration filled day.

“Oh, Azriel!”

He heard his name be called, but his heart instantly dropped, that voice did not belong to his nightingale. Turning around he saw…

“Elain? What are you doing here?”

“What a coincidence, Az! I was just out for some errands and thought I would get myself a drink. I’m absolutely parched! Thank the Cauldron for this lovely café!” Elain replied in an unusually high pitched voice.

“Yes, how lovely…” he trailed off, gaze flicking to the door. He knew his girlfriend would be arriving soon and he would much rather Elain not be here for that�� for a plethora of reasons.

“Well, what are the chances of meeting you here Az? And look, you’re alone too! Why don’t we have lunch together, it feels like we haven’t caught up in forever.”

“Actually I’m meeting some…”

He never got to finish his sentence. If someone asked him later what happened, Azriel wasn’t sure he would be able to explain it. One second Elain was smiling at him, trying to grab his hand, the next her gaze turned cold, flicking to something behind him. The next thing he knew, within a matter of seconds, Elain had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and smashed her lips to his.

What. The. Fuck.

Azriel didn’t even process what had happened, didn’t even realize that she was kissing him. Elain. Was. Kissing. Him.

The last thought jolted him out of his state of shock and he pushed her away. Not caring for who saw or heard, he yelled,

“What the fuck Elain? You can’t just grab people like that! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Oh c’mon Az. It was barely a peck. I had barely begun to enjoy it,” Elain replied with a callous smirk.

All of a sudden he did not recognize her; he didn’t recognize the cruelty in her eyes, the indifference in her expression. Where was the kind hearted woman he considered a friend? And who was standing in front of him in her place? When he didn’t say anything, still riddled with shock, Elain continued,

“Well no matter. It may have been short but it achieved it’s purpose,” Elain replied slyly. She inched closer and grazed her hand up his arm and whispered, “if you want to continue, I would gladly indulge you, Azriel.”

He didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with her, why she was doing this, in a crowded café no less. But Azriel was way too uncomfortable to try to find out. He wrenched his arm away from her and was about to give her a piece of his mind when he saw it again: Elain’s gaze flickering to something behind him with a wicked smirk on her face. One of victory.

Hoping against hope it wasn’t what he feared it was, Azriel turned around. And it was like time itself had stopped. For there, at the entrance of the café, with tears streaming down her face, stood his girlfriend, his nightingale. A millennia could pass and Azriel would not forget the raw pain, the betrayal shining in her eyes amidst the tears.

No. No. No. No. No. This is not happening. This cannot be happening.

He took one step toward her, to explain, to make her understand he had no fault in what she had seen. But before he could, his nightingale turned around and left the café.

Not knowing what to do, Azriel followed after her to see her almost running away from him.

“Love! Please! Listen to me, its not what it looks like,” Azriel begged, anguish lacing every word.

“Oh please Azriel. Do you know how typical you sound right now?” He did, Cauldron he did. But she had to understand…

“Darling I would never hurt you like that. I don’t even know why she was there… or how… but you have to understand… she kissed me! I pulled away… I would never do that to you,” Azriel let out. He knew his fragmented thoughts probably didn’t make much sense. But panic and fear were making it difficult to come up with something cohesive.

“Really, Azriel? You don’t know what she was doing there?! For Cauldron sake, Azriel! I know you called her there. You know, if you wanted to break up with me, you should have done it yourself like a man. You didn’t have to use her for it!” his nightingale spat at him.

What? Break up with her? Break up with the one blessing the Mother had bestowed upon him? What the hell was she talking about?

“Love… I don’t…”

“You don’t what? Huh? Have any need for me anymore? Well you don’t have to worry about me getting in the way, please go enjoy your life with your darling Elain?” His girlfriend yelled, throwing out Elain’s name like it was poison.

Vaguely he sensed Elain coming up behind them. How did she catch up with them? His love spat out a wry laugh, before saying,

“Look, she’s here to get you Azriel. Go be with your love.”

Before he could refute it, Elain jumped in,

“Its okay, Azriel. I told her everything. She’s not in the way anymore. We can be together now!”

“Elain, have you lost your mind? What the hell are you doing? Why are you doing this? You-”

“Cut the act Azriel. Go. Enjoy your life.”

And with that his nightingale walked away for good, taking the shattered pieces of his heart and soul with her.

… … … … … … … … … … … …

Azriel stood in that spot like a blubbering fish for Cauldron knows how long. He was smarter than this. He was quicker than this. He knew that. But for some reason his mind felt addled, like it was submerged in some murky fog. He couldn’t think straight for some reason.

What the fuck had just happened? Did it truly happen? No, it had to be a nightmare. It had to be. He didn’t just lose the love of his life. He didn’t. He wouldn’t be able to bear it.

Azriel had almost convinced himself of his own delusion, when Elain’s rustling snapped him out of his daze. The woman had the gall to walk away after everything she just did. Not so fast. He grabbed her by the arm and yelled in her face, propriety and etiquette long forgotten,

“WHAT THE FUCK ELAIN? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?”

She wrenched her arm back and held her head up high when responding, as if she just had just committed some honorable deed,

“I did what I had to. You were never there Azriel. I always tried to talk to you… but you were never there. And to find out that it’s because of her! Some commoner! I couldn’t bear it. But she’s not here anymore, Azriel, we can be together!”

“What?! Are you hearing yourself Elain? I don't love you! Not like that, I never have-”

“BUT I LOVE YOU! WHY ISN’TTHAT ENOUGH!” Elain screamed back.

“You’re out of your mind. You… how did you even find out?”

“Cassian told me,” Elain replied calmly, her demeanor immediately changing. There was something seriously wrong with her.

But her words were what caused his world to stop spinning.

“What?”

“Cassian told me. He saw the two of you together the other day and told me that I would find you here today as well.”

His mind was reeling. Cassian knew too? How? He had been so careful with everything? How had it slipped past him so easily?

Elain patted his shoulder one last time before saying,

“We’re meant to be together, Azriel. I love you so much that I’ll ignore this commoner you were sullying yourself with. She might have left you. But I’m always here for you with open arms.”

And then Elain left, simply and quietly. As if she had not sentenced Azriel to a life without the one happiness he had salvaged for himself in this cruel world.

..........................................................................................

Cassian POV:

Cassian had been sharpening his blades in the training arena, waiting for the Valkyries to arrive, when he felt the wards shift. Someone had winnowed in. Before he could question who it was, he saw Azriel standing at the entrance.

Despite Nesta’s words, his immediate reaction at seeing his brother was one of annoyance. He doubted Azriel was here to confess so the continuing secrecy bothered him even now.

Any rant or anger that Cassian was planning on letting out, disappeared as he neared his brother. Azriel had tears streaming freely down his face, shoulders shaking from the sobs.

“How could you?”

Was all his brother let out. Cassian was at a complete loss for words. His brave stoic brother was falling apart before him and Cassian knew neither cause nor cure. His lion hearted brother who had bared five centuries of pain and trials and had never let out even a wince. And now… It seemed like something was tearing Azriel apart into shreds.

“Az, what’s wrong? I-

“How could you?” Azriel repeated, his sobs getting more and more violent. And each falling tear fell like acid on Cassian’s heart. All previous annoyance was replaced by an overwhelming urge to soothe and comfort.

“How could you? What did I ever do to you?” Azriel cried out again.

“Az… brother… I have no idea…”

“Oh don’t act stupid. Don’t act like you don’t know about my girlfriend!”

Oh. That is what this was about? Azriel knew that he knew? But why was he so upset about it? Cassian didn’t think him finding out warranted such a reaction-

“You knew and you send Elain there to ruin everything!”

What? Elain? What did she have anything to do with this?

“You ruined everything! My nightingale… she’s gone… she won’t even talk to me… She won’t look at me… And it’s all your fault!” Azriel let out in between hiccups of tears.

Cassian knew he had to intervene before Azriel spiraled into a full panic attack.

“Brother, calm down. Alright, yes I saw the two of you at the café, but I only told Nesta, I swear on it. I have no idea what you’re talking about, or what Elain has to do with anything.”

Azriel moved further away from him. The utter betrayal shining in his eyes made Cassian want to bury himself in the darkest corner of the world. He did not know what his fault was but he was ready to spend eternity atoning for it if it meant Azriel would no longer be in the pain he was so clearly in.

“DO NOT LIE TO ME!” Azriel roared, leaving Cassian stunned, “ You did this! You couldn’t bear it, could you? You couldn’t stand the fact that I was happy so you sent Elain to ruin everything. You always do this, you always have to take everything away from me!”

Before Cassian could ask for an explanation or beg for forgiveness for a crime he did not know, Azriel had winnowed away.

Alone, his mind was working on overdrive. What did Elain have to do with anything? Cassian was no fool. He had long been aware of the youngest Archeron sister’s affections for his brother. But he also knew his brother had never reciprocated those affections, had always seen Elain as nothing more than a friend.

How did she know about Azriel’s relationship? Nesta could not have told her. Despite how close the two sisters were, his mate had sworn to him and he knew Nesta enough to know that she did not go back on an oath. Had Elain somehow overheard them? And if she had, what could she possibly have done to cause Azriel so much pain?

So many questions were whirring through his head, not one of them had a coherent answer. But amidst the chaos, a singular thought rang the loudest, and it was one that pierced Cassian’s heart:

What have I done?

[frvnkcastles]

EVERY NIGHT I BURN ➵ S. ROSSI

Summary: After a disastrous date with your high school crush, Sam is there to pick up the pieces.

Warnings: Borderline sexual assault, language, implied female reader, some descriptors

Word count: 5.6k (geez)

Author’s note: Making my comeback with a THREE year old fic that I was always too embarrassed to post anywhere for some reason. Anyway Sam is my favorite Jon character after Frank and I think about him on a regular basis :’) Sorry I’ve been so inactive lately, college is killing me!! Can’t wait to get back to writing during summer break.

”Hey, are you busy?”

Looking up from his bookkeeping, Sam lifted an eyebrow and tried his very best to maintain a stoic, neutral expression rather than breaking into the giddy smile he always felt coming on in your presence. Seeing you at the doorway of his office, dark hair flowing in the cool breeze and a gust of your perfume invading his space in the process, was nothing short of enchanting, making him clear his throat as he briefly glanced at where your skirt rested against your thighs and then back to the shiny eyes behind your glasses.

For you? Never. That’s what he wanted to say, anyway — that hell or high water, he’d make time for you. Instead, he lifted one hand to gesture at the empty office. ”Nah, somethin’ wrong?” he asked gruffly, yet the rough voice was nothing short of polite as he eyed you up and down as if to search for any signs of distress. The nervous wringing of your hands was the only clue he got, but he chalked it down to your typically shy — and endearing — personality with a soft, barely audible chuckle.

”No, no, not at all. I was just wondering if I could bother you with a favor? I got some shelves for the new house and uh, as much as I’d like to campaign for being a strong, independent woman... I do not know how to handle power tools”, you grimaced in a way that made Sam laugh fondly and glance at his boots before bringing his enamored gaze back up at you. ”Really, if you can’t, it’s—”, you began again before you could corner him into agreeing, but waving you off, he interrupted.

”Be my pleasure. Rather that than, uh, drive ya into the hospital after lettin’ you do it alone, right?” he spoke, cracking a joke that almost sounded strange coming from his quiet, level voice. Once the amusement in his tone registered in your head, though, you broke into a grin and nodded in agreement.

”Yeah, I’m a much better driver if you end up drilling a hole in your own finger”, you countered, only to realize the potentially offensive hint in your voice — at that, your smile faltered, but before you could do much more than open your mouth to explain you hadn’t meant to poke fun at his hands, he smiled at you.

”I gotchu, sweetheart. ’S all good”, he reassured before you could worry about hurting his feelings. There was a moment then, with you gazing into each other’s eyes, goofy smiles on your faces with no one needing to say anything.

Didn’t mean it stayed that way. With an excited cheer, your goddaughter was soon emerging through the entrance, disrupting the moment between you and Sam as she grabbed your shoulders. ”I thought that was you! Did you bring me lunch?” Maggie wondered with a grin, and laughing, you jutted your finger in your car’s direction, encouraging her to break free from the office with a delighted sprint again.

She was the reason you had come here, to begin with. You were a teacher and when a job opportunity near your favorite goddaughter had turned up, you took the chance to go back home and reunite with what little family you both had left. Within days, Sam had grown smitten with you — and Mags could tell; you, not so much. In his defense, how could he not? You were smart, caring, had the prettiest smile he had seen in years and there was no doubt about your kind heart. The way you treated Mags, him, and anyone you came across made his own heart swell. You were damn beautiful, too.

Now, nearly a month into your stay, you had formed new habits and routines, including stopping by the motel to get lunch to Mags. Sam had insisted that he’d feed the girl if you just let him, but frankly, your visits had an ulterior motive now — see, you really liked him, too. Again, how could you not? He was everything you loved in a man and whatever chance you got to spend more time with him, you leaped at.

Hence why you had insisted the furniture shop didn’t need to come over and install the shelves for you; you had a guy for that.

Before you could say anything more, the rev of an engine got your attention and both you and Sam turned your heads to the motel’s parking lot only to see an old but well-kept, stylish car pull up with no regard to the actual parking spots. You would have recognized the car and its white stripes from a mile away, pulling a surprised gasp from you — the same, joyous reaction was far from Maggie’s face as she traipsed back to the office with a glare at the car she had seen enough times not to trust its owner.

”Oh my Gosh, what are you doing here?” you gushed as you stepped back out into the warm spring air, your hand on your chest as you watched the tall, lanky guy step out of the car while unfolding his sunglasses into the collar of his shirt. Sam certainly didn’t miss the amazed tone in your voice, nor the hand placed on your arm as the stylish guy eyed you up and down.

”Heard you were back in town, I just had to see it for myself”, the guy grinned at you, and even from behind his desk, Sam could see the blush on your cheeks.

Trying his best to tune out the rest of the conversation, he clenched his jaw as he looked down at the papers still waiting for his scrutinizing. His focus was everywhere else, though, and suspecting as much, Maggie leaned her elbows on the counter to share her gossip with Sam with her stare still trained on you.

”That’s Benny. Complete jerk, if you ask me. They almost dated in high school but he’s always just been stringing her along”, Mags dished casually, and with an incredulous snort, Sam looked up with doubt in his dark eyes.

”That guy?” he confirmed, struggling to imagine a world where anyone would be out of your league. You were a gem; a whole treasure and he would have never made you feel like anything else.

Nodding, Mags glanced at Sam with a hopeful smile. ”He doesn’t deserve her. Maybe if someone nice actually asked her out for once”, she theorized, far from sneaky, but before Sam could scold her for her taunting tone, she continued. ”Until then, she’s just gonna let him play with her feelings because every time she thinks it might work out.”

With a frown, Sam looked over to the parking lot where you were, indeed, fawning over the man, lovesick grin and all. It was in that moment that his jealousy got beaten by his anger — not towards you, but towards the man for toying with your heart.

That said, he would have lied if something envious didn’t brew in the pit of his stomach when he watched you touch his chest and lean into him, laughing at his jokes.

———————

”Nervous?” Sam rasped from where he was hoisted on one of your chairs, arm leaning against the wall while glancing between you and the drill he was setting up. Maybe it was the date, maybe it was the sight of him rolling up his sleeves and hiking up his tight jeans that made you gulp, but either way, you ended up nodding. When he effortlessly grabbed the shelf off the table with one hand and balanced it against the wall in a way that made practically every muscle in his body flex against his clothes, you had to look away.

”A little”, you admitted with a dry throat, fiddling with the sleeves of your dress as you wandered back and forth in the small living room just to channel the anxious energy somewhere. ”Not to sound like a schoolgirl, but— he’s so cool”, you breathed out, an embarrassed chuckle accompanying your words as you checked the time on your phone again and then turned back to Sam who had paused his work and was looking at you with a lifted eyebrow.

He seemed to weigh his options for a beat, wonder what was the right thing to say when eventually he sucked in a breath and turned back to the shelf with the drill hoisted at the right position. ”Ain’t no one cooler than you”, he pointed casually before activating the drill and getting the nail through the wood effortlessly. ”You got that?” he emphasized when silence landed in the room again, his words demanding but his voice soft when he eyed you briefly. ”You’re a real gem, sweetheart. You deserve to be treated like one”, he added before adding in the second nail and then the third, giving you the chance to collect your thoughts while he worked.

Suddenly feeling the tension in the air, you chuckled quietly. ”Did Maggie say something?” you wondered, well-aware of how little she liked the man you had been drooling over for the past decade and more.

With a quiet laugh, Sam reached for the final nail. ”Maybe”, he confirmed, not getting to say much more when the tremble of his fingers betrayed him and the nail flew to the floor with a clatter. As he cursed, you jumped into motion, not allowing him the chance to climb down when you were already crouching down to pick up the nail from the floor in a way that had your skirt hiking up your thighs.

When you stood back up to hand it over, Sam was staring at you in quiet amazement, and softly, you smiled at him. ”Well, thank you”, you whispered, still thinking about his previous words as you stepped back to let him finish without you in his way — he, in response, felt his heart swing at the loss of your warmth and perfume in his face. ”I appreciate all of this”, you gestured at him with a grin, ”but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

With a nod, Sam gave you one more look, one that he was forced to tear away when the honk of a car filled your driveway with sound. He couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten at your adorable gasp, and any idea of saying goodbye left his brain when you reached forward to briefly peck his cheek, your soft lips tickled by the coarse hairs of his dark beard as you bid him farewell.

”I’ll make this up to you!” you promised with a smile, and chuckling, Sam ducked his head down and willed himself to not blush.

You already had.

—————

Ever the gentleman, Sam had decided to wait at your house for you to return from your date — partly to make sure you were safe, partly to see your excited smile when you’d burst through the door in an enthusiastic ramble of how it had gone. That was how he played it out in his head, anyway, giddy at the idea of your happiness even if it meant from another man. With your shelves up and installed, there was not much to do but linger around; even with the TV on, though, he found it hard to focus.

The entire house felt like you. Like one big comforting hug, one that you could never quite fit his large figure into but you always tried as hard as you could. You were sweet like that. As was the ghost of your perfume haunting the living room where Sam was seated, unable to think about anything but what kind of movie you’d choose to put on if you were there with him. One of the armchairs next to the couch he was on had some of your dresses draped over it — the rejected pile, he assumed, but the different colors and soft materials made his stomach swing when he imagined the edge of the skirt falling above your knees, the flowery sleeves a stark contrast to your dainty hands.

At that thought, he cleared his throat and got up from

the couch with unwillingness to stay there and obsess over you all night. He had already grabbed some water from the kitchen only to think about the baked goods you brought to the motel every now and then, the image of your warmth mixing in with the soft music you had mentioned liking while stirring a bowl of batter refusing to leave his head. And as he passed by the foyer on his way out, he noted your shoes, all in different styles yet somehow so you, and the large mirror where his smitten reflection was adorned by a colorful sticky note wishing a lovely day. With a smiley face and all.

He made his way to the local diner, then, figuring he could kill some time by grabbing some shakes and fries for when you’d get home. By the time he considered you already having dinner with your date, it was too late and he found himself striding up to the counter where he hoped the kind lady wouldn’t notice the red on his cheeks and the extra tremble in his fingers.

He had hardly limped his way over, though, when the lady he was quite familiar with gave him a sympathetic smile. A frown barely crossed Sam’s face when she pointed a finger across the diner, and when the tall man faced the right direction, he found you sitting in the furthest booth, drenched from the rain that had just stopped on his way over, hands shaky and cheeks stained with the make-up you had spent so much time on. An untouched cup of coffee sat in front of you, and it seemed like you had no intentions of moving anywhere.

Sam, on the other hand, abandoned his initial plan immediately and with a slight swing from side to side, stomped his way over to you. The heavy falls of his boots caught your attention quickly, and meekly, you looked up only to somehow feel worse at the worried pair of eyes you found staring back at you, concerned creases painted across Sam’s forehead as he fiddled with his fingers. He could see the slight disappointment on your face, but before he could take it personally, you were sighing weakly.

”This is so embarrassing”, you whispered, soon enough breaking into a sob as you covered your face with your hands and leaned towards the table. Without a second’s hesitance, Sam sat by your side, and when you moved to give him space next to you, he took the opportunity to wrap an arm around your shoulders and hold you close.

”Shh, shh, no, it ain’t. It ain’t. Promise, ’m not here to judge. Alright? Don’t even gotta tell me what happened if ya don’t wanna”, he assured, his rough voice so soft as he rubbed your arm soothingly and placed his head against yours. A mere second later, he was taking in your appearance, from the drenched hair to the mud on your knees, and with a regretful inhale, he walked back on his previous word with a gentle tone. ”Tell me if you’re hurt, though. Please, sweetheart”, he was quiet and respectful, and with the nickname welcoming something warm in your heart, you shook your head.

”Not hurt”, you confirmed, and although the faintness of your voice did little to comfort Sam, he nodded approvingly at the promise. When you said nothing more, he simply held you in his arms, caressing you softly and humming in your ear without empty vows of things going to be okay and you going to be alright. Right now, all he could offer was his presence and attention.

Somehow, that was enough. Your breathing leveled and your heart didn’t feel like it was going to jump out of your chest anymore, but rather, feeling the beat of Sam’s helped in grounding you. He was warm and comforting and for a moment, you forgot where you even were.

”That’s it”, he encouraged quietly when you grew more stable in his embrace, ”attagirl. I’m right here with you, darlin’.” Feeling you relax helped him relax, too, his fear slowly dismantling and his feeling of utter helplessness subsiding.

”You wanna tell me what happened?” he asked gently, never pushing, only giving you the chance to share if you felt like it. At first, you truly hadn’t, but now, with his care so thick in the air, you felt entirely safe telling him.

”You gonna tell me you told me so?” you asked, half-joking, and it earned a quiet snort from Sam before he pressed a tender kiss on the top of your head.

”Never.”

That was all the encouragement you needed, and with a deep sigh, you recalled the past two hours of your life. ”He took me to a drive-in”, you swallowed, feeling a shiver run down your spine at the memory. ”It was nice, actually Fun. Nostalgic. Then, he, uh, he kissed me. And I kissed him back. But then I—I tried to pull away and he—”, you continued, your voice breaking as you covered your mouth with your hand and exhaled.

”He wouldn’t stop. His hands were everywhere. So I—I somehow managed to get out of the car and I just… ran. I ran. I knew the diner was close by so I headed over here but it started raining and I fell so it took me a while but I just couldn’t go back”, you continued before gesturing at your ripped stockings and then leaning into Sam’s chest with your eyes sealed shut. ”I was so stupid. I should have listened to you and Maggie.”

Silence landed again, apart from the sounds around you and your soft sniffles. It was Sam, then, who was silent — his nostrils flaring and his heart pounding in his chest as he imagined the Hell you had been through. He wasn’t much of a fighter, but he sure as hell stood up to assholes like some of the men at his motel and this… this sad excuse of a human being who had had the chance of a lifetime with you. A chance that Sam would never waste for anything in the world.

”It ain’t your fault”, he finally rasped, trying to swallow down his anger even if the tick of his jaw betrayed him. He was glad you were huddled up against his chest, shielding you from seeing the fury in his narrowed eyes as he stared out of the rainy window and clenched his jaw. ”None of it. You did good, sweetheart. You did so good”, he continued, losing some of his temper as he wrapped both arms around your trembling body. ”You were real fuckin’ brave, ya hear me? Did nothin’ wrong. That guy is a piece of shit, you understand?”

You managed a nod before Sam continued. ”You deserve the world. I’m so sorry that happened. I ’preciate you sharin’”, he sighed, not even sure what more to say. He felt like he was going to be sick, though he doubted it was nowhere near to how you were feeling.

As if on cue, you shivered again, and he withdrew from you just enough to look at your drenched body. ”Listen, sweetheart, you’re freezin’. Okay if I drive ya home?” he offered, and unsure what other option you had, you simply pleaded yes to his proposal. Even if there had been an alternative, he was what you wanted — his safety, his reassurance, his guidance.

You just did not realize that he had sworn all of that since day one.

As you sat in his passenger seat, shaking from the cold as well as the adrenaline, Sam made sure to hold your smaller hand in his large, warm one, all the while cranking up the heat in the truck. It was silent for the most part, and when tears fell from your eyes only for you to hastily wipe them away, he said nothing, simply brushed his thumb across your hand and let you be. There was no judgment in the air, and even with your torn appearance, he didn’t stare, only glanced at you to make sure you were alright, eyes full of care and the wish that there was more he could have done for you.

When the truck was parked in your driveway, Sam was quick to leap out of his seat and circle the car to open the door for you and help you out of the fickle seatbelt. You didn’t hesitate to cling onto him, allowing him to guide you inside to the safety of your home where you toed off your shoes and let him hang up your jacket.

”You go get changed, alright? I’ll make you some tea”, Sam whispered, gentle as he brushed a hand across your hair and took a step away to allow you your space. The hesitation in your eyes suggested you weren’t quite ready to leave his side, but certain that getting dressed on your own was the best idea, you nodded and hid into the bedroom while he wandered to the kitchen.

It didn’t go unnoticed by either of you how naturally he blended into your life. Having him around the house felt like the most natural thing, and he breathed easy while getting out your kettle and pouring the boiled water into one of your big mugs. Well-aware just how much sugar and honey you liked in your tea, preparing the drink for you was like second-nature, like he had spent years with this routine, attached to you so tightly he didn’t even question it.

When you shyly snuck out of the bedroom, dressed in tights and a large, grey sweater, he was seated in your living room with his hands nervously wringing with one another. It made you want to laugh, how both of you were so on edge, but when you saw his eyes light up at the sight of you, as well as the steaming tea he had made just for you, and the shelves perfectly balanced on the wall behind him, you burst into tears, instead.

”The shelves look so nice”, you cried with a laugh, trying to wipe at your eyes while sniffling and taking a seat next to Sam. ”You’ve done so much for me”, you whispered, amazed by the kindness of his heart, but he was quick to protest with a quiet chuckle.

”’S just basic decency”, he countered quietly before observing you carefully. The scratches on your palms and wrists made him swallow and look away, but he gently knocked his knee into yours to promise he was right there as long as you wanted it. ”Whatever you need, alright? Just say the word.”

Carefully, you took a sip from the tea and then glanced at Sam. ”Is it weird if I ask you to stay?” you questioned weakly, and with an exhale, Sam wanted to promise you that he could have never said no to you. Instead, he gave you a shake of his head and offered a hand for you to take.

”I’ll be right here”, he swore. And true to his words, he stayed all night, making you a second cup of tea, helping you brush through the knots of your hair, sanitizing the scratches on your hands, messaging Maggie that you were home safe. He wiped your tears, hugged you tight, rubbed your back and kissed your forehead. And at the end of it all, he let you fall asleep on him on the couch, your head on his lap and his trembling fingers caressing your hair until you were soundly asleep.

And all he could think about was how he wouldn’t have minded watching over you every single day.

——————

The following day, Sam made sure to wake you up before leaving, breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen once he had apologized for slipping away so soon — however, you understood that he had a whole motel to run; not to mention, he had already done so much for you. As much was obvious when you sat in the kitchen by yourself, munching on the eggs and toast he had prepared, surprising yourself with the soft smile that crossed your lips at the thought of his kindness.

Sam, on the other hand, didn’t find himself smiling much at work. Mags was yet to clock in, and he was grateful — not wanting to reveal what had happened without your permission, but knowing that the girl would see right through his bullshit. The other personnel, however, had already asked if everything was okay.

And for the most part, it was. You seemed to be doing okay when he had left you, and he was glad to have been of any consolation. Nevertheless, he was so, so full of anger that it had even happened in the first place. And the fact that he had been right there, with the opportunity to stop you, not once but twice, yet he hadn’t. He knew it wasn’t his fault, but he needed to channel the fury in his chest somewhere — why not himself?

That was what he figured until a familiar, sleek car was cruising onto the lot, parked like an asshole yet again. At the sight of Benny’s presumptuous face, Sam dropped the pen in his hand and swallowed thickly, his feet moving on instinct to stop the man from entering his premises. Suddenly blessed with a new target for his anger, Sam strode straight towards, a twinge of delight poking at his heart when he saw the scratches matching your nails on his jaw.

”Hey, is she around—”, Benny started, but that was all he got to utter out when Sam was punching him across the face, the crack of his nose most pleasing to the man’s ears as he watched the other man go down from the weight of his fist. Blood went flying across the concrete and despite the throbbing through his knuckles, Sam didn’t stand down from staring at the man at his feet now.

”You ain’t welcome here, you hear me? I never wanna see your stupid fuckin’ face again. Neither does she. You go anywhere near her, you’ll regret it”, Sam gritted out, his rough voice heavy as he glared at Benny who, in a flurry of panic, scrambled up to his feet and towards his car.

”You’re a piece of shit”, Sam added with a stern finger pointed at him, ”and you don’t deserve her. Fuck you.”

——————

Although the initial idea of being around people seemed exhausting, you were happy to get a visit from Mags. She pulled you into a hug out of instinct, but you had longed for the comforting embrace all day, therefore forcing her to stay in it a little bit longer. You supposed, then, you shouldn’t have been surprised by the question she broke the silence with once you finally pulled away and welcomed her inside.

”How was your date?” she inquired carefully, not missing the scratches on you but choosing not to blatantly point them out. Nevertheless, she radiated sympathy and you knew you could trust her — that said, you didn’t quite like the idea of burdening her with what had happened. You weren’t best friends gossiping, you were the closest thing she had to a guardian, and while communication was key, there were some things you weren’t meant to unload onto her.

”I don’t think there will be another one”, you stated simply with a quiet smile, and nodding thoughtfully, Mags followed you into the kitchen where you had been stress-baking all day. She, at least, was happy to grab one of your tasty brownies, and you hoped that Sam would appreciate the pie you had made just for him as a thank you for everything.

As if on cue, Mags hummed from the table she sat herself at while you continued slicing the brownies. ”So, uh, wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact I saw Sam

with bruised knuckles, would it?” she asked innocently, the obvious tension in your shoulders encouraging her to add, ”looked like someone got a taste of them, actually.”

Putting down the knife, you blinked at the wall in front of you and then turned to Maggie. ”Really?” you whispered, full of disbelief and amazement that Sam would do such a thing. He wasn’t usually a man of violence, so you struggled to come up with another explanation than him confronting Benny. And against all odds, the thought almost put a smile to your face — your asshole date had certainly earned it, but Sam doing that for you…

Well, you definitely hadn’t expected your heart to flip so violently at that.

”Uh huh”, Mags drawled before eyeing you with a grin. ”You like him, don’t you?”

You immediately reacted with a bashful chuckle and turned back to the brownies. You had thought about it before. Many times, in fact. He was handsome and kind and naturally loving, and despite his brooding, tall appearance, he was shy and gentle. He was good with kids and animals alike, and he made sure to make everyone feel welcome. But he was also so, so very easy on the eyes. And after last night… you had a whole new appreciation for the man and his good heart.

So, yeah. Maybe you did. You had just never been bold enough to take the leap and ask him out — he was, indeed, quiet and a little bit reclusive, making it hard to tell if he liked you or was just being polite. And frankly, you didn’t want to set fire to the friendship you had built with him.

Going out with Benny had seemed like such a good idea to find some company that wasn’t Sam, but now, you couldn’t help but wonder if it only had been good for driving you right into his arms.

—————

Sam was surprised to see you arrive at the motel — but positively so. When Mags stepped out of your car though, he guessed it was simply to drop her off, but he was quickly proven otherwise when you followed her lead with a pie in your hands. You were dressed in a worn pair of overalls and Sam couldn’t stop the somersault in his chest as he limped from behind the front desk to the parking lot, giving Mags a brief squeeze on the arm as she passed him by.

”It’s good to see you”, Sam breathed out as he nodded and observed you from head to toe briefly, ”you look damn nice.”

With heat already crawling to your cheeks, you ducked your head down only to catch a glimpse of his red knuckles in the process. You licked your lips tentatively and gave him a shy look. ”Your, uh, hand… Was that…”, you began, not really sure how to finish that thought.

…You decking Benny in the face for my sake?

”Yeah”, Sam rasped with a clear of his throat, ”yeah, he, uh… came lookin’ for you. Told him you ain’t interested.” For a moment there, he seemed almost embarrassed, his other hand going over the scabbed one to rub it nervously, but as soon as you broke into a careful smile, the worries in his heart evaporated.

”I appreciate that. I appreciate you”, you emphasized before handing over the pie. ”Pretty sure I owe you a dozen of these, but… I thought I’d start with just one. I don’t know how to thank you enough, Sam. You’re my hero, I guess”, you explained with a chuckle, your gaze falling to your boots before you looked back up at him only to find him shaking his head in a way that left his unruly curls bouncing.

”Nah, you don’t… you don’t owe me nothin’, sweetheart. ’M just glad you’re alright”, he promised while clutching the pie and pursing his lips as if there was something else to say.

You had something else to say, too. And for a second, you wondered if it was wise to speak out loud, but then you saw Mags and her vigorously encouraging gestures from inside the office, and then you faced Sam again and he just looked so beautiful and soft and—

”Would you wanna go on a date?”

Much to your surprise, your own words echoed back to you in his deep voice, your eyes flying wide when you realized he had posed you the very same question. A mere second later, you broke into a genuine laugh, and Sam’s lips curved upwards into a giddy smile as he nodded at you.

”We could start with this pie”, he offered with a chuckle, and with an agreeing smile, you returned his nod. Shakily, he lifted his hand for you to take, and you did not hesitate to wrap your fingers around his trembling ones so he could lead you indoors where Mags was cheering by herself.

Needless to say, your poor date was soon forgotten by an absolutely delightful one — especially when they did not stop coming, and within the next month, you found yourself being called Sam’s girlfriend.

He, for one, couldn’t recall the last time he had been so happy. Getting to leave his shoes next to yours in the foyer, getting to bring you tea to bed in the morning, getting to finally kiss your pink lips with his beard scratching your soft skin… He wasn’t sure what he had done to deserve it all, but he certainly felt lucky as hell.

[kaizenkhaos]

Okay so as soon as I saw the pool boy Billy post from @ariesbilly, I had to sit down and write something. And lo and behold, half an hour later, here comes my contribution in the form of a ficlet :D Because Billy needed a second job and Steve's mom was looking for a pool boy. And like Billy is ever going to miss a chance to "torment" the pretty boy ;) Brief mention of Billy's home life and his job at Hawkin's Pool. Otherwise it's the boys all the way ^^

It was that time of year again. Summer. And Billy had not just one gig this time but two. Cos apparently being in the house at all during daylight was a red flag and being a man meant being out all days of the week, earning money for the household. There weren't enough hours going at the pool, and Billy hadn't wanted to spend any more hours around damn screaming kids and horny moms anyway. There was only so much he could handle for either of them. The screams setting his teeth on edge, his jaw tightening, and the stares stirring the pit of his stomach in an unpleasant way. So when a notice was plastered outside of the Harrington house, saying somethin' about needing a pool boy, well like hell Billy was gonna give up that opportunity. Nor was he gonna let anyone else scoop it up. With his best smile and swiping the ad from the wall, he'd strode up to that door and sweet talked Mrs Harrington, who'd given him the job on the spot. When could he start? Right away ma'am. Earning money from the rich boy's household and getting to torment him? Maybe this summer was shaping up to be somethin' after all.

He'd not seen him the first couple of days, him or his car. But then one Saturday, the pretty boy had come rolling up the drive. Cu the engine before going through to the back and dumped himself on one of the loungers. Billy had been working on cleaning the edges, looked over at where a smoke trail started to head towards the sky. Wolf grin emerged as he slowly picked himself up. His eyes locked onto Steve as he strolled over to him. Lording over him until Steve finally rolled his eyes in his direction.

"Harrington! So the lord of the manor decides to finally show his face." The look that descended on Steve's face made Billy's grin twice as wide. Well, well, well. He clearly had no idea about the new arrangement. This could be fun. Momma Harrington apparently hadn't let her little boy know that they now had a pool boy. Or who he was.

"What the hell you doing here? Decide that breaking and entering is more your thing?" "Nah, though your pool is worth it any day of the week." Billy cast his eyes over it. How the other life lived. But now he was here, legally, and could do what he always liked to do. No escaping him now huh Harrington.

"You know, you always think you're something special. With your big house and your pool and your hair and all. Swanning around school and this place like you're hot shit. But…." He paused, his grin turning to a sideways smirk as he eyed up the ex-King. "There's always one that's hotter Harrington." An eye roll and Steve took a slow drag of his cigarette before he tilted his head in Billy's direction. Billy watching the snark and all flashing behind his eyes. Wondering what comeback the pretty boy of Hawkins High had in store for him this time. But when all he got was a glare and that, 'Yeah, your point is?' look, Billy leaned further towards him. "Hawkins' a small place man and you know that better than anyone. Being a purebred and all. But you know, I can't help but wonder if you're slipping further. Like it's clear that you don't know the deal I have with your mom, so I can't help but wonder what else you don't know." Now Steve was sitting up and Billy knew he had him just where he wanted him. "Oh, ho ho. King Steve really has fallen. Did Hagan not tell you our deal either?"

"What the hell you going on about?"

Now Billy was so close, he could inhale the smoke fully. It disappeared up his nostrils and puffed back into Steve's handsome face. "Well, one that your mom hired me as your lifeguard to make sure you don't go and drown yourself in this fancy pool of yours. And second, that seeing as you've been putting your ass out there, if I took a liking to you pretty boy. Then I'd get some too."

Steve's face, as Billy pulled back to see the effort of his words. A kleidoscope of emotions crossed the jock's face as he rapidly got to his foot. Fight mode active, eyes blazing. The side of King Steve Billy loved to provoke out of its slumber. The side he wanted to see. He wanted Harrington every which way, but he craved the pushback today. "Hit a nerve? Didn't even have to tell you to get up. But I can tell you somethin' else." "Oh yeah?" "Yeah. Take your damn clothes off. Now."

A snort and he wondered for a brief moment if Steve was gonna tell him to fuck off or would actually comply. An eyebrow crept up his face as Steve's hands went to the bottom of that top which showed off his body. Yeah pretty boy, that's right. Take the bait…. "You want my clothes off huh?" Yep. All nice and riled now wasn't he. Playing right into Billy's hands. "You know that I fucked him right. Him and the whole basketball team. And the cheerleaders. Sometimes at the same time." Billy had of course heard the rumours. That Steve had been practically pimping himself out and it had only taken a few nights with Hagan and Perkins to apparently have switched King Steve back on and put him back in the game. Billy didn't care at all. It's not like he had any room to judge number of bed partners. He just wanted to get his name to the top of the list. And stay there.

"But fine man, you wanna see my ass? Fine." The top was off and finally Billy got to gaze at that fine body whilst getting paid for it. Looking disinterested on the outside, as if it actually bored him to see it. But inside he was running hot, feeling himself swell inside his shorts.

"Get em off Harrington."

A slight pause as Steve slung his top onto the lounger and then worked on his jeans. A fluid motion which Billy wanted to see over and over. A sight which would play on his mind late at night and early in the morning.

"I don't need this shit….. You want this ass? You can have it." Just what he wanted to hear, and see that big bulge waiting for him. It was going to be all his and Billy managed to just keep the eagerness off his face. Couldn't let Steve know how much he'd wanted to be another notch on his bedpost after all. Make him think this was just another fling, another write off and not the start of something else.

"Haven't got all day man. Show me that fucking dump truck of an ass."

[the-guardian-kitsune]

hi everybody, this is the admin of this page talking today. this post is going to get extremely heavy on topics of mental health and struggle, mental issues and suicide thoughts, so if any of these topics is too much for you, please avoid reading. also, i'm writing this on the moment so if it's more of a word vomit than anything i apologise.

first thing first, i'd like to apologise for my not-so-consistent presence here in the past months, when in reality i had hoped that the summer break would have helped me make a grand comeback, but unfortunately it wasn't the case.

this year didn't start well for me and, currently, is proceeding in an even worse direction, making me feel like i'm falling deeper and deeper into a hole that's getting more suffocating the more i sink.

this year starting with a huge mental breakdown for me, as i wanted to abandon university and find a job, because i have huge struggles studying and i felt like i was wasting time and money, but my family denied me the possibility, forcing me to keep studying even if i didn't want to (and i still don't want to, but again, i'm forced to). then, a couple of months after, my mother fell sick one night and since then it became a spiral of hospitals, check-ups, transfers and such, but they served nothing.

in the end, my mother succumbed almost three months ago, leaving behind a huge gap that will never be filled again. we didn't have the best relationship but, you know, she was still my mother — a fairly young one, if i must add, and we loved each other despite being such different people.

since then, things got worse more and more, because i feel like i have become a punching bag for my relatives, and this, mixed with the pain for the loss and the university problems and my own issues, just worsened my mental health, so much so i... well, i can hardly not wish not to join my mother, because all of this is getting more and more unbearable with each passing day.

for those of you who don't know, i've had heavy suspects of suffering from adhd for a while and now, in light of this year's events so far, i think anxiety joined the ride to hell. unfortunately though, i'm unable to seek professional help and/or recognition, so all i can do for now is live with the doubt about these conditions and wait until i can seek the much needed and wanted help.

all of this is to say: i am not going to be much active despite my desire to, because this place really makes me feel warm and safe and relaxed, but my dark thoughts prevent me from even enjoying as much as a good writing on the site or interacting with other people, or go outside, or anything that has to do with being social.

i'm sorry if this post won't be the one that maybe some of you hoped for, a written piece perhaps, or a tagging game, or anything of the sort all happy and silly, but i felt like i did own an explanation because i think i made a few friends here which, unfortunately, i don't have on other platforms and i had to explain so they wouldn't worry too much (but i think this post will gain the opposite effect...)

in the end, this is everything i wanted to say and, i don't know, i guess i'll be on a hiatus except from reading and liking until i feel somewhat better enough.

please take care and i love you <3

[solofanatic64]

It’s my birthday again!

WOOOOOO CONFETTI🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

In honor of such a wonderful day, I made this piece for an art project (a month ago but SsSsSsSSSshHHHhh) showcasing every persona/self insert oc that I had over the years that I am now sharing with you all, along with small descriptions about them for context!

2018 was when I started making oc’s for tmnt 2012, and they were all cringe as hell. For example, here we have Princess Hikari (right), Princess of Iro and the element of color and light (it was 2018 and I’m pretty sure I was also obsessed with Gacha Life mini movies at the time). She was a part of my very first ever tmnt 2012 au where most of the most cast is actually from a different planet where the impossible can happen and certain characters of the main cast were elemental, but due to a villain becoming too powerful, they all flee to earth and most of them lose their memories. On Earth, Hikari disguised herself as Kodie Jackson (left), she was cool, quirky, and always had a good comeback, both in combat and in smack-talk (basically she was a “not-like-other-girls” girl without the whole putting other women down stuff). She also had a crush on Leo, along with every other oc I made during this era.

2020 was when I took a break from tmnt 2012 (shocking, I know) and hyperfixated on Casino Cups, a Cuphead au comic series on Tumblr that I got into because of VOAdams comic dubs for it. I made PLENTY of oc’s, au’s within the au’s, and lore for this (because I was 13 and cringe, what did you expect), some of it I still have content for and all of it I still have info for in the deep dark crevices of my mind. This was also when I had a TikTok account (that I don’t post on anymore) and this was also the era where my persona changed the most. But out of all of them, Juicehead was my favorite, even if I never inserted her into the Casino Cups cannon.

Oh boy, 2021, the year I came back onto the tmnt 2012 scene, the year I came back to my roots and STAYED there, the year I saw a “I made 9 of these, the first one you see determines your life in tmnt 2012” Instagram post and thought “……..but what if I WAS the Foot Clan?” Well, not at first, at first I was still with the turtles. My characters name was Irene (top), she was a demon who knew black magic, and she was best friends with Mikey (not crushing, this was also the year I decided to just stop crushing on tmnt 2012 characters for reasons I barely know). It wasn’t until that summer that I saw that fateful Instagram post and decided “yep, I like the Foot Clan henchmen now, and that’s how it’s gonna be for the rest of my life.” After that I ditched the demon horns, straightened my ponytail, got a new outfit, and changed her name to Dioxazine (bottom). She was alright, honestly I don’t think I did much with her.

In 2023 we got Comet, my girly, my popstar, my silly little gay. Surprise surprise, Comet used to be my persona/self insert before I decided to make her my oc (however she’s still my projection character). She’s actually been on the scene since 2022! But since then, her appearance been through a some changes from changing her shorts to pants, to shortening her hair, and other small things (if anything I think her lore has gone through the most changes). Either way, she’s a cutie patootie and I love her. This was also the era where my writing skills got better, now everything is less cringe :D👍

And finally, we’ve come to 2024, Sleepy! My persona today! You already know her, her face is a screen, her mask doubles as noise-canceling headphones (for optimal sleep of course), and her socks change every time! She’s in a constant state of being not quite sleepy but not quite awake either and she’s always wearing her jammies, comfy!

[rayneyday97]

Just a little blurb from a future year in my HP fanfic on AO3 that wouldn't make sense for me to post there as it's a very long form chronological thing. Story there is still early in year 1, but I imagine this being nearer to summer of 4th or 5th year. Also me procrastinating essays so that's fun~

Warnings: none

Notes: this fanfic (in its full form) is with all the same characters as the books, like the golden trio generation, but I've set them like 11 years later time wise so muggles have pretty much a post-smartphone-era technology usage.

She always thought of the clouds in Glasgow as herd animals. Especially on those days where the sky was dotted from end to end with smaller, fluffy white clouds. They reminded her of creatures softly floating together in the same direction across the sky, their speed determined by the wind.

Rayne cared a lot about the topics on which she had to write her summer essays, which she thought always helped her write passionately. Unfortunately, it didn't help the way she thought it would in terms of getting through dense source materials. Did she think provisions in the Ministry of Magic had been essential to promoting the teaching of spells and potions in their original ancient Celtic languages? Yes, absolutely. Was "Preservation of the Ancient Magicks in their own Tongues: Let's Do Our Best for the Runes of our Ancestors" by Margaret Hillsby a 'fascinating read'? No, it was denser than 700-year-old petrified wood. And so, whenever she felt herself starting to nod off, with phrases like "magical Gaidhealtachd" and "regional economic development" scrolling behind her eyes like a newsreel, Rayne would snap herself out of her stupor by looking up through the window/skylight in front of/above her and watch another cloud, nearly blindingly white from reflecting the summer sun, make its slow migration towards the far horizon.

She wished any of her Ravenclaw classmates could be there with her. Even if they said nothing at all, Rayne always valued how much more productive she was when working alongside others. Her most recent ADHD Self-Help book from the public library described this phenomenon as "body-doubling", and it was difficult to achieve during summer breaks when everyone else was home with a family and she was not. Though her roommate Luna had a mobile phone now (just a basic pay-as-you-go one), she apparently didn't live anywhere close to a signal tower. Makes sense, Rayne supposed, if the completely magical town she lives in is warded against Muggles like Diagon Alley is.

Hell, she wouldn't even mind a snide text from Malfoy. In fact, if she had time to plan her comebacks to whatever snark he sent, she felt like a text conversation would put her at an extreme advantage for once. Or she could send memes to Crab and Goyle. Fred and George would probably clickbait her into getting rickrolled, and Ron might send some kind of weird reddit post about quidditch world cup chances. Hermione... would send BBC news articles! Harry would send conspiracy theories, but not in a serious way. Her heart simultaneously swelled and ached at the thought of her friends being able to communicate quickly and simply whenever they felt like it, as Muggles do. Owls are like nature's slowest bird; they take forever.

[canyouhearthevoices]

ATEEZ Theory TidBits Episode 13 - What did ‘THE WORLD EP 1: MOVEMENT’ contribute to the storyline?

Ateez’s 10th official release. This time they actually had a decent break between albums - an unusual 7 months. The album began their new era of THE WORLD, which had the same concept as their performance of ‘RHYTHM TA - The Awakening of Summer’ on KINGDOM - a dystopian futuristic world based on 1984, where the population are brainwashed into all being exactly the same and ATEEZ have to fight against this with the power... of music and dance. Okay, stereotypical, but it’s stereotypical for a reason.

In this post;

Materials in the album

Additions to the storyline

The album name

Track breakdown

Reactions from the fandom

Important motifs and storyline elements which were added

My perspective on the storytelling and quality (from a screenwriting kid)

Conclusions

The album was fascinating to me. Its place in the storyline is contested in my mind by angel-Yeosang and demon-Hongjoong, so I am a little confused at times. I of course love the gothic inspirations of 1984, but find that yet again, ATEEZ’s limitations in English names are on full display - A teenager Z made a very unappreciated comeback, and ‘Strictland’ is about as bad a name for this world as could possibly be created. Luckily, the music and dance are still slaying.

Full discussion below the line.

Materials

Just the most important stuff, because, as always, almost everything ATEEZ does contributes to the storyline in some way. 

Album - physical, with three versions including Diary ver.

MVs - Guerilla 

Dance practice/choreo videos, or other performances, for ‘Guerrilla,’ ‘Cyberpunk,’ ‘Sector 1,’ ‘The Ring,’ and ‘New World’ - bringing back ATEEZ having a choreo for almost every song on their album

The regular contents; teasers, reaction videos, vlives and so on.

Logbook roughly 80 onwards (ongoing). 

Additions to the storyline

MOVEMENT introduced a new era - and a new universe. This is interesting, because I would have assumed one of two things about universe in ATEEZ’s storyline - 1, that TREASURE, FEVER, and THE WORLD were all in different universes, or 2, that TREASURE was one universe and FEVER and THE WORLD were a different one. But Hongjoong’s segment on SHOWTERVIEW for this comeback suggests that FEVER and TREASURE were in the same universe, and that THE WORLD is in a different one, which just.... what the hell, Joong? Not only does this confuse everything I have already written about the storyline, but it also makes no sense with the evidence we have been given. I don’t understand how TREASURE and FEVER are supposed to exist in the same universe, unless ATEEZ want to establish that one universe can hold multiple timelines, and the whole theme of FEVER - the new world. How is it a ‘new world’ if it’s literally the same world...? But perhaps my upcoming dives into the diary entries and people’s thoughts on them will shed some light on this. Although I don’t have a lot of hope - it seems to me that ATINY have a habit of trying to make ATEEZ’s storyline a very strict timeline of very specific events, like a police report, rather than the semi-abstract non-linear narrative that it is. 

But we’ll see how that goes.

The album name + meaning 

It’s very interesting let me tell you that. THE WORLD makes me think of the ‘new world’ from  the FEVER albums. I would first assume that they have now reached this new world (thus why it becomes the world, but this doesn’t make sense, because the FEVER teasers includes phrases like ‘from the new world,’ which suggested that they had already reached it. Which in turn suggests that this is either another new world, or that this is perhaps the same world that is seen in a different light (a theory that my head has entertained quite a bit). The group finds out about the truth of their world and how bad it actually is - thus it goes from being the exciting adventure of the ‘new world’ to just ‘the world’ that is less idealistic and that they need to fix. Alternatively, it’s just a new world, and since the new world is the only one they have ever known at this point, it just is ‘the world’ to them. 

In contrast to THE WORLD, MOVEMENT is very easy to understand - not only are ATEEZ moving forward in both the storyline and the real world as artists and creatives, but they are also creating a literal movement in the storyline - freeing people from the brainwashing of the government and leading the cultural rebellion with their art and music. 

Track breakdown

Propaganda - I don’t really know what I can tell you about this one. It’s all in the name. It was literal propaganda and was using subliminal messages to worm its way into the mind of ATINYs and kpop fans everywhere.

Guerrilla - Literally ATEEZ describing how they’re going to use guerrilla warfare to fight the government. 

The Ring - ATEEZ literally got the ring of power from Lord of the Rings and are now using it for whatever purpose they see fit. The ring could well be a symbol representing the Cromer. Or maybe it is just a ring. Who knows.

New World - ATEEZ are building up the power to continue their movement - like a literal gathering storm. I like imagining them performing this while cosplaying Volibear from League of Legends. Or maybe you can imagine Volibear with Hongjoong’s face or something. Wow, something I never want to imagine again. 

Cyberpunk - I love it. It’s 10000% gothic 1984-style, with the lies that the government built up, the ideas of appearing and disappearing, poison and ice, and basically just the essence of a surveillance society.

Sector 1 - The second part of ‘Answer’ over two years later. Dang, that’s good preparation. ATEEZ are diving into the dark depths of this world they live in and finding the truth while discovering new emotions that they’ve never been able to feel because of the brainwashing of the government. Also, live vocals Jongho.

Reactions from the fandom

Well, as we would expect whenever Seonghwa exposes his shoulders, everyone liked it. I think most people were less impressed with the album and more impressed with how well it had been planned and how far in advance it had been teased. We had always known that ATEEZ teased things in advance, especially songs for their next album at the end of MVs, but we had never seen the song that had made up the mysterious music at the end of ‘Answer’ - until now. This two and a half year gap between songs really astounded a lot of people, including myself. But we always knew that ATEEZ had planned things in advance. There was even a one-year gap between the KINGDOM performance of RHYTHM TA that introduced the concept, and the actual album. 

But let’s put ATEEZ’s insanity aside, because we all know, and have known for years, that both ATEEZ and ATINY are insane. The album was very well received. Everyone liked the additions to the story and I think the general consensus was that this concept change was a good one. It didn’t hurt that they were on tour too - only hyped up more excitement for it. 

Important motifs and storyline elements which were added

The skin masks of European dudes ATEEZ use as disguises for some reason 

‘Strictland’ was introduced in the MVs and officially

Same with all of the motifs from RHYTHM TA - like the vault break concept, the brainwashing of the population, masks, and the like

ATEEZ’s rebellious phase

The Guardians made a return

My semi-professional perspective of the storytelling, production and production values, etc

Although it isn’t my favourite in concept or music (and those fake-leather plasticy clothes they put the boys in look so uncomfortable), I think ATEEZ made a really good choice with this album. And a lot of it comes down to how well they planned it. And this is in five main ways. 

They introduced the Guardians at the end of ‘Answer,’ which made us wonder about who they were and what they were doing. This is also when the intro music for ‘Sector 1′ was revealed, which also increased hype. 

RHYTHM TA was done in the relatively safe space of KINGDOM, which allowed ATEEZ to experiment with their concepts. This allowed them to introduce the concept for THE WORLD in a place that wasn’t so attached to album sales and reception, and thus created a ‘soft’ introduction to the concept for the fandom - by the time THE WORLD came around, we were already exposed and used to this concept, so it didn’t bother anyone even though it was quite a big change. 

‘Deja Vu’ used a sci-fi aesthetic and concept which didn’t fit the rest of FEVER era. Although it had relevance to the storyline of that era, it also eased ATINY and the general kpop community further into the new concept. 

Fever eXtended edition which reintroduced the Guardians and ATEEZ’s hideout.

‘Don’t Stop’ was the final nail in the coffin of the immortal vampire who will rise from the dead. It rehashed the heist concept from RHYTHM TA, and the long-term exposure over more than a year to all of these concepts made sure that when the final change came around, no one was really surprised. 

Interestingly, this album is the start of a new series, but doesn’t include an intro track - PROPAGANDA serves this purpose, but isn’t labelled as one, and thus, to me doesn’t really count. Now, this is when I get speculative.

We had TREASURE - and there was a mysterious ‘hala’ version of ATEEZ. And then we had FEVER, which I and many others thought must have been HALAteez, but there are indications (such as HALAteez appearing separately in the diary film and ‘Deja Vu,’ and in the Diary entries) that suggest that FEVERteez are separate from HALAteez. And, yes, in a few years I may look stupid for suggesting this, but I think it’s very possible that HALAteez are the ATEEZ in THE WORLD. I have a few reasons, and some are considerably better than others. Why don’t we start with the most stupid.

‘THE WORLDTEEZ’ doesn’t sound very good. But we don’t need to call then THE WORLDTEEZ, because we already know their name - it’s HALATEEZ. 

Similarly, why do we need an intro track to introduce us to this new group when we already know so much about them from KINGDOM, TREASURE and FEVER?

The actions of the Black Pirates described in the Diary entries, such as appearing and giving flyers against the government to civilians, are done in THE WORLD. 

The Guardians first appeared with HALAteez.

We already know that THE WORLD ATEEZ hide their identities often with masks and other things, which is a HALAteez motif. 

Speaking of, in RHYTHM TA, which is literally THE WORLD, Hongjoong was putting on his black pirate hat as he stole the Cromer at the end of the stage - he was literally transforming into a black pirate, but was still the same person. 

But either way, and as much as this is the direction I neither wanted or expected, I think this worked out well for them, and I tentatively (with no further information and material other than the album, will say that it was the logical next step in their storyline).

Quality of the album

Why do I keep including this segment? We all know that ATEEZ’s albums have great quality and production values, and make their often limited budget go far. And this one was no different. I would say that the performances and styling were hampered a bit (or in the case of the styling, a lot) by the world tour they were in the middle of, and it doesn’t take a degree in anything to know that ATEEZ are once again overworked. And as much as I wish that wasn’t the case, in the end, it is something they discuss with their company, and, either way, they are killing it. 

Conclusions

ATEEZ are reaching their Divergent era. And I don’t know how to feel about that. On the bright side, they’ve created a much more compelling story than Divergent, so I suppose we should be grateful for that. 

[princelancey]

The fact that Aston might finish higher in the constructed this year than last is hilarious given the the horrendous start to the season

[starshapedkookie]

COMING SOON

summary: You and Jungkook have been best friends for 8 years, going through absolute hell and back together. After senior year of high school, you and Jungkook began a tradition of taking annual vacations together during the summer months. This summer is no different, with you and Jungkook celebrating graduating college just a couple months prior. You're set to move to NYC after the summer, with you and Jungkook soaking in the sun and as many moments as you can together. You'd think nothing could ever tear your friendship apart with him, but when you've sat on the beach for too many days in a row watching him surf, you can't help but wonder - when did your best friend get so hot?

➢ pairing: jungkook x female reader

➢ genre: high school friends to lovers, ex-baseball player jungkook, beach/vacation au, fluff, smut, a little angst

➢ warnings: none for preview minus some language (full warnings to come when full thing is posted!) also i know that in the little mood board i created, the girl is a teeny white girl & i don't want to alienate any of my poc readers at all - i just thought these pics fit the vibe so take them with a grain of salt 😊

➢ word count: 13.3 k

➢ mini playlist: at the end of the day by wallows, satellite, late night talking, carolina by harry styles, love drought by beyonce, ICE (we should do drugs) by labrinth, unusual you by britney spears

i have no idea who i am writing this much but in honor of BTS comeback here's a little preview below! ↓

“See this isn’t too bad,” he then says looking over his shoulder to meet your gaze. 

“We’re sitting ducks Jungkook,” you mumble, eyes looking around the water, still slightly paranoid. There’s a few other people in the water and a couple surfers which makes you feel a little better. 

“It’s okay to get out of your comfort zone you know,” he raises a brow when you climb off his back, deciding to swim close in front of him. Both of you float with only a few inches between you two, water at your chests. 

“Mhm,” you say sarcastically, “That’s what they all say before they’ve gotten their leg bit off,” you move your arms around to keep you wading. Thankfully it didn’t take long to get used to the chilly water. 

He bites his lip as he watches you with an amused expression. You push away the way it makes you feel. 

“You know that’s why I wanted to be your friend right?” 

You furrow your eyebrows, moving to float on your back. Jungkook being the gentlemen he is, he ends up beside you, his arms giving your back some support in the water as you float. 

“What do you mean?” You ask him. 

You can’t see his expression as you’ve closed your eyes, the sun too bright to keep them open. His fingertips graze your skin every few seconds and you swear it feels like electricity running through your spine. 

“You’ve always been the one to get me out of my comfort zone,” he points out like it’s obvious—though you’ve never had an inkling of this. 

You open one eye at him in a squint, his face a lot closer to yours than you expected, “I don’t think so,” you laugh a little awkwardly as you give up on floating, settling back to your normal swimming position with him in front of you. 

“I wouldn’t lie Y/N,” he laughs in return, “You’ve known me for a long time, you know how fucking weird I used to be.” 

“Hey you weren’t weird,” you defend him, “Just a little awkward and going through puberty.” 

He rolls his eyes, ���Fucking weird,” he repeats, “I just mean I’ve never had a friend that’s always pushed me to do things I normally wouldn’t do. Hell just the vacations we’ve taken together is just one example,” he pauses, his next words cutting him a little deep, “I feel like you’re the reason I ever had a life outside of baseball.” 

You bite your lip under the water as you don’t break his heavy eye contact. You’d never realize Jungkook thought that highly of you. It makes you feel giddy on the inside, but also a little sad that you were never that confident in your abilities as a friend. If anything, you thought Jungkook brought you out of your shell more. 

“I’m just a small part of your life Jungkook,” is what you settle on. 

They way his face falls doesn’t go unnoticed, “Trust me,” he pauses beginning a swim back to shore for you to follow him, “You’re a pretty big part Y/N.”

[sumsebien]

shadow and bone masterlist

Welcome to my S&B masterlist! 🥰

🏷 here is my taglist and the show/ people I write for

*: nsfw

the darkling:

how i won the war *: part 1; part 2 ; part 3

summary: general kirigan’s plans backfire. sun summoner!y/n finds herself torn between love and country, truth and deception

preview:

The mythical stag with antlers that curled into a majestic crown, a folklore came true from the bones of Sankt Ilya in Chains. Morozova’s stag whose powers could augment Grisha powers. His power and her power.

Y/N didn’t think it was true, naturally, having been raised to believe it to be no more than bedtime stories. “But the stag has never been found,” she said, playing with his hands, mindlessly tracing the lines in his palms.

General Kirigan closed his fingers around hers, running his thumb along the back of her hand. She shifted her neck, twisting around to meet his dark cool gaze. “Until now.”

kaz brekker:

you are done for (1.8k)

summary: kaz is convinced that you were in grave danger when actually, it was just your birthday.

preview:

Kaz wasn’t scheming. He was worried. It was way past the eighth bell, even Jesper was here and you were nowhere to be found. Where the hell could you be? What could be holding you up at 8 on a Wednesday night? Apart from being kidnapped, tortured and murdered? asked the little voice in his head. Nothing.

i don't want to be alone (1.2k)

summary: kaz is sick

preview:

He did not look fine, by the way. His hair was floppy from constantly running his hand through, the bags under his eyes were more permanent than most days and his nose was red. He was sniffling as well but was doing so as discreetly as one could. He didn’t look like the formidable crime lord he usually was but rather a tired, burnt out boy desperately in need of a break.

matthias helvar:

-> blurbs:

in the wake (dad!matthias)

nikolai lantsov:

-> one shots:

a dare for a truth (3.5k)

summary: a night in Ketterdam promises Nikolai a tattoo and maybe something more.

preview:

Finally, shots down. Nikolai decided to take his chance. “Tell me something real about you.”

“Ah, you’d have to pay me for that.”

Nikolai did not hesitate to pull out a couple of kruge from his pocket. She laughed when she saw that. “I am not a wishing well. I don’t take coins.” She had her elbow against the counter, turning to face him. “How about you play my games and I tell you? A dare for a truth.”

you bring me home (1.1k)

summary: nikolai is overworked and you are worried

preview:

He gave a weak nod and you pulled him into your arms. His skin was cool to the touch, melting into your warmth. He leaned against you like ice on a balmy summer’s day, his hands shaking gently as they fell around your waist.

“I’m so tired,” he confessed, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

run away with me * (5k)

summary: Y/N had been Nikolai's for forever. Until she wasn't.

preview: You could make sweet promises to love, to hold and to cherish Vasily before the arbor, the priest and the saints. Never once faltering. But you would never really believe it.

scars and all (1k)

summary: Post R&R, Nikolai doesn’t like his hands very much but Y/N does.

preview:

“Nikolai,” you said quietly, disguising a sigh which Nikolai could still catch. “Why are you wearing them to bed?”

“I always go to bed naked. Might be fun to change things up for a bit,” Nikolai joked with a wink and a wobbly smile, retrieving his hand from you.

Most of the time, no matter how terrible the joke was, you would at least still offer him a pitiful smile or a short laugh. But this time, you held onto the grim silence.

“Please just answer me.”

loving you is the antidote (2.7k)

summary: once upon a ball, friends with benefits become something more or... less?

preview:

“You will eventually have to marry, Nikolai. That’s all I’m saying.”

“No, I don’t. I can do whatever I want,” Nikolai said, jabbing a finger to his chest. “And I will.”

You smiled. “An illusion is all it is. We both know you know better than that, moi tsar,” you said, walking away.

Nikolai didn’t stop you this time. He just stared because that was all he could do. For the first time, he didn’t have a clever comeback, no witty remarks. The only thing left on his tongue was a bitter aftertaste of a love he could never have.

“I will see you later?” he croaked, calling after you like a needy little boy afraid of sleeping in the dark.

“Maybe.”

exes don't have to be enemies (1.6k)

summary: exes to friends with a bit of zoyalai but make everything healthy

preview:

“Y/N,” you blinked at his voice. Nikolai was now right in front of you, holding your hand. “You have me. I don’t know what you think you have to do. But you don’t have to do it alone.”

“I do.”

He sighed, “Alright. Where are you planning to go?”

“Novyi Zem.”

“Novyi Zem? What are you going to do there? Live your cottage life as a jurda farmer in nowheresville? That’s not who you are.”

-> blurbs

“heavy is the head that wears the crown”

hey, hazel eyes

heartrender husbands (fedyor + ivan)

being besties with the heartrender husbands headcanons

[sprinklesandshatters]

A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>

So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~

This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.

I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛

So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.

(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)

1. Sticker

THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT

THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 

The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao

It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.

With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.

STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH

To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!

It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.

Literally, no one does it like them!

The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)

The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.

The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?

The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.

I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.

"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH

Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!

But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO

BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW

This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚

2. Lemonade

(⌐■_■)

Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee

The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.

This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!

Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃

"WOOF"

I might have just barked too wOW

Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm

Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅

I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.

3. Breakfast

Now breakfast time, oh jeez!

AAAHAHFU—

Summer 127's bestie!

If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.

You know what it is.

"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP

Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞

And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)

This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.

Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.

4. Focus

Did I just invade a private call? LMAO

The analog voice filters make it like so.

Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf

My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,

"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha

"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!

This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.

Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?

I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ

I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!

5. The Rainy Night

Ooh, the holy melancholy!

Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.

This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.

The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.

I think I crumbled from this one.

This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.

What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.

Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.

Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.

Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.

"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?

And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.

6. Far

Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...

Alright!

The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.

Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.

Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~

Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!

As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!

I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha

I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???

Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK

Not my favorite, but still great though!

But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???

7. Bring The Noize

Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations

HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES

I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO

This screams so much confidence!

The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!

This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.

JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)

THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM

When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT

OUTTA MY WAY

“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.

A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.

8. Magic Carpet Ride

This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.

Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.

This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(

The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.

Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.

Okay alright Doyoung Grande!

And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.

The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.

This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.

9. Road Trip

This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.

Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.

Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)

Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.

But where do I go—

I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.

Just Wholesome™ vibes.

I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.

This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.

10. Dreamer

Eyyyy such a refreshing song!

This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!

It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)

The horns make it more lively I think!

Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.

The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf

Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...

There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.

And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!

11. Promise You

MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!

The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.

It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.

The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.

It definitely sounds like a promise.

A song about platonic intimacy.

This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”

Because they cherish their fans like that.

It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.

Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.

This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha

I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.

✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚

if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞

[spookysmujer]

Amor Prohibido, O. Diaz

Summary: Oscar Diaz use to get a kick out of making fun about you back in high school, but what is he like all these years later and after serving time in prison?

warnings: teasing, teenager!Spooky, cute s h e t 😚

word count: 1.5K

anonymously requested!

A/N: Me and @youare-mysonshine​ always bounce ideas off each other about teenage Oscar so getting this request made me do a little happy dance. Thank you for requesting, anon! I am loving all the requests I am getting! Please consider: following my blog, heart/comment/reblog my content as well as turning on the notifs for when I post new content!

(Gif belongs to @leelakoiwolff​ 💫)

There are many things in your life that you want to forget and one of them is high school. You weren’t a lone wolf or some kind of loser, not at all. But to a certain to someone you were a easy target to mess around with, the one and only, Oscar “Spooky” Diaz.

Whenever he got the chance to make fun of you, he did. And by some sick twist of fate, you had majority of your class with him during senior year. It’s like it fueled him, the teasing. As you jog pass Freeridge high as a part of your daily exercise, the memories flood you.

It’s finals week and all you can think of is finishing these exams so you can stop the constant stressing and excessive studying. As you swap out textbooks for your AP Chemistry class in your locker, you hear someone clear their throat from behind you, though it’s no question to who it is.

Without even turning to look, “To what do I own the pleasure this time?”

“Just wondering how the weather is down there? I know it’s sunny up here, but what about down there, hm?” Oscar leans against the lockers besides you and give you his famous smirk. 

You roll your eyes and give your best fake smile, turning your head you look at him, “Do you ever think of anything new to say or are the four brain cells up there all juiced out from the coke you snort in the bathroom during study hall?”

Oscar stares at you and pushes himself off the locker, walking away without another word. You look over shoulder and see him exit the school. A scoff comes out of your mouth as you roll your eyes. It’s a cat and mouse game with him, most of the time he is the one chasing but there are a few occasions where you get to be the mighty feline.

When your fit bit vibrates to alert you that you’ve reached you goal, you come to an abrupt stop. Hunching over with your hands on your knees trying to catch your breath. A few students walk past you, laughing away and in a heavy conversation about the homecoming dance.

You start to walk back to your place, remembering the night of your homecoming dance, senior year.

“Wow, it wears dresses. I wasn’t sure that you knew how to be a full functioning girl. I mean, considering no one’s tapped that yet, sad really.” Oscar’s voice sounds from beside you as sat at your designated table to take a break from dancing.

He pulls a chair out and flips it around so his chest is leaning against the back rest. You look over and nearly spit out your drink, “What the hell happened to you? Oh are you... oh no, are you sick? Are you dying? Jesus really is coming back.”

Oscar laughs and runs his hand over his now shaved head. He looks completely different than he did yesterday in AP Bio. You continue to sip on your punch, he reaches over and pours what smells like vodka into your cup from a metal flask. “What the fuck, seriously?” 

“What? Maybe it’ll loosen you up. Always got a fuckin’ stick up your ass. Ay, maybe then someone will wanna blow your back out tonight, I mean trust me we ain’t got much standards. Not a single fuck given about your new straight hair you went and spent all that money you don’t got.” He ruffles with you hair, you swat his hand away and he laughs, getting up to leave. “Could never be me though.”

Once you get on your street you mentally damn yourself for thinking of those days. It use to take a lot out of you to stand up to Oscar. Those days far behind you for a reason. You make your way up the driveway and stop in your trek, it couldn’t be. 

The shiny exterior of cherry red shines back at you. You’re staring at it making sure it’s not your mind playing tricks on you. Oscar’s car is parked in your driveway. Right?

“As I live and breath. Sup, Y/N.” Your thoughts are disturbed as you hear his voice sound, he stands on your porch, leaning aside the post. He looks the same but a little different as well. Sporting some ink on his face and neck. 

You look around and hope when you turn back it’ll be just a hallucination or something. But as God permits, there he is. His physique definitely changed, his biceps bulging a lot more than the last time you saw him.

“Uh, hey, Oscar.” He smiles and licks his lips, stepping down and walking to stand in front of you. Well one things for sure, he still towers over you. He looks down at you and chuckles, taking his hand ontop your head and measuring it to his chest.

A snicker erupts from him as you push him back, trying to hide your smile, “Still the fucking same I see. Shame, all these years and you still haven’t grown up. Where’ve you been anyways?”

“Corcoran. Got out this morning.” He tells you as he walks over to his car to lean against. You wait it out a few secods before he nods his head for you to join him.

“Shoulda known you’d end up in Prison. Kill someone?”

He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs, “Drug possession, but ain’t no surprise I was slinging then. I got this while I was inside, ran the whole operation.”

“Yeah, well a part of me isn’t surprised you ended up there and the other part is surprised.” He looks over at you with a quirked eyebrow, “You’re smart, Diaz. You think people didn’t know but we all knew. Just no one questioned you since you hung around the gang, then you joined it. Or how is it? Jumped in?”

He nods his head in agreement with a smirk on his face, you study him for a moment before moving your gaze to in front of you when he looks at you, “Sad you didn’t take the college route. Could’ve been a head chef at some fancy restaurant I bet. My little brother would hang with Cesar. He’d tell me that you’d make such a bomb grilled cheese that he’d refuse anything I’d make. Said you really had knack for being in the kitchen.”

It felt strange to be sitting and talking to Oscar like normal people would. He would tease you any chance he got til the end of summer when you up and left for college in Arizona. Suppose prison truly does change people.

“Yeah, well at the time college wasn’t going to take care of my brother so sacrifices had to be made. Just how life goes.” He sniffs and pulls a cigarette from behind hid ear. You snatch it from him and break it with you heel. “You may have survived prison, but I promise you this will kill you, dummy.”

Oscar wouldn’t normally stand for people acting that way with him.

“What? Not gonna call me names and remind me I’m the most unattractive girl ever?” You turn to him and he turns his body towards yours. He peers down to your lips and brings his hand up to your chin.

You’re confused with what’s happening right now. Oscar not retorting with a comeback and nearly pressed against you, “Never said you unattractive once in my life. Actually thought the opposite since 7th grade.”

“What? You thought I was attractive since we were 13 years old?” Oscar nods and drops his hand from your face.You scoff and step back, walking a few feet away from him. 

He clears his throat, feeling like everything is caving in. He digs for his keys from his pockets. The sounds catches your attention and you turn back, “Wait. I’m just trying to process it all. If you thought I was cute or something, why didn’t you ever tell me? All you would do is tease me and always annoy me.”

Oscar stops fiddling with his keys and steps closer to you, cocking his head to the side, a smile cracking from his serious face, “You never heard that when a guy likes you he is mean to you?”

You roll your eyes and smack his head, “For someone who is smart, that was really stupid to think. I mean.. I would say mean things to you too and you kept comin-... oh. Ooooh, I see it now. Fuck, uh.” 

He sees your calming up with the realization, “Let me take you out.”

“Oh, okay. Um, what are you doing tonight?” You ask him, feeling your heart racing.

“Got some shit to handle tonight, but I’m free right now.” 

Before you can say anything, he dips down and pulls you over his shoulder, you squeal and protest for him to put you down. He only laughs carrying you into your place. 

So by some weird twist of fate, high school wasn’t the worst after all.

[dawnagustd]

Hiiii I’m new on tumblr and thanks to a friend I found your account and I’m IN LOVE with all your stories specially bittersweet I’m dying for another chapter but I saw your post about your hiatus and I know I need to wait, I hope you are fine healthy and enjoying your life you deserve the best, kisses from Spain ❤️😘😘😘💗

Quick question since I’m new here I just wanted to ask you if your hiatus is gonna be for year(s) ? back in time I used to read on wattpad and some writers used to say I’m going on a hiatus and never comeback or comeback in 4 years 💀😭😭

Hi. Welcome and glad you found your way here.😁I'm glad you're enjoying bittersweet and you're absolutely right, I've put it on hold due to my hiatus because I hate to leave y'all with part 2 knowing i won't be able to answer your questions or provide the next part(which you will definitely want after part 2 lol) until i return.

As far as my break, I'm not sure if or what I can tell you since it isn't a personal break and I'm going to be on someone else's time but I imagine that won't take more than a week to 3 weeks. I also would like to finish Welcome 2 Hell before I return since it's the biggest project I'm working on.

With that being said, I'll probably take the summer off and return in August? But that isn't official. Whenever, I've caught up on my WIPs because by the time I'm done with everything I need to do I'll be behind since my laptop will have to be left behind.😭

I'll definitely be back before the year is over if nothing else comes up. Thanks for reading btw.💕

[binunus]

college bf!mj

a/n AH !!!! THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE ASTRO COMEBACK ???? APRIL 5TH ??? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE LOVES !! i genuinely...do not know if I will be able to survive this month bc of them. 

(also i tried to get this posted on mj’s birthday but I’m so sorry a lot of shit happened and I had a ~bad mental breakdown~ and it’s just been rough out here but that’s a story for another time if any of you lovely beings wanna know hehe)

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ tw: mentions of cheating (in past relationships)

→ word count: 4.9k ____________________________________

KIM MYUNGJUN !!

A LIVING REINCARNATION OF THE SUN

this is gonna be so cute i just !! love him so much???

has his own apartment, but he honestly stays over all of the boys’ places so much that...he barely sleeps at his apt

major: vocal performance

his voice is literally honey

can probably sing higher than some sopranos in his major

so friendly, everyone who meets him loves him

mj just has a way of attracting people and making people comfortable around him

in short, he is – of course – the moodmaker

can turn anyone’s frown upside down

he’s down?? for like everything

an adventurous spontaneous type

has...probably failed a ged ed class once or twice before...

he’s not stupid okay! he just doesn’t really care about the classes that has no connection to his major

like will he ever apply calculus in singing? probably not

oh but professors can’t hate him, even if he just messes around during class

he’s just so kind and likeable

loves his boys aka astro

will literally do anything to make them smile, even if he’s had a rough day

as long as his boys are happy :’) he’s happy :’)

now how do you meet myungjun??

he’s in an acapella group on campus

he just has to be alright

he was the only freshman that got in during his first year

that shows how good he is :*

a tenor in the highly competitive co-ed group

spoiler alert, he convinces sanha to join, but that’s for college bf!sanha

myungjun is what me and my friends like to call: the solo whore

and it’s not bc he’s greedy for solos, he’s a real team player

his voice just happens to sound the best for most solos your group has??

you’re also in the acapella group

im not giving a voice part bc then that would put you in a binary category

so soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, bass, you pick love

anyway, you and myungjun were chosen to sing a duet for one of your competition pieces

and it was the key emotional piece so you and him had to be on your A games

you and myungjun were friends ofc, you had to be some sort of friends with everyone in your acapella group

but you never really hung out with him outside of rehearsal

well until you got this duet together

and you weren’t worried about it, mj was so fun and nice and an amazing singer, you had no doubt these extra practices with him would be a good time

and you were right! besides singing, you actually got a chance to get to know him and how goofy he really was

you’re pretty sure you always had an ab workout whenever you hung out with him bc of how much he made you laugh

about a month away from competition, you and myungjun were like best buds

literally a chaotic, iconic duo

the chemistry you two had during your duet was spectacular, your voices highlighted and bounced off each other very well

but! your leader had a little critique

“y/n, myungjun, that was great but...can you guys pretend to look...like in love? I get we’re all friends here, but if you can’t convey the emotion of the song in our performance, what’s the point? This goes for everyone, this is a song about how much you love your partner and would give them the world, we need to show that in our eyes and movements, even if you’re just singing ooh and woah for like 10 measures.”

you and myungjun decide to stay after rehearsal and practice the emotions you guess...

your leader had a point, good singing could only go so far

and for the first time, myunjun was a bit...? awkward??

you: alright so how are we gonna pretend to be madly in love with each other

he chuckles and shrugs: honestly I don’t know, look at me like I’m your boyfriend or something??

you: well, I hate my last boyfriend so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea

myungjun offering you a high-five: I hate...well I think I hate...my last partner too so at least we have that

you: how do you think you hate your last partner? are you not dating anyone right now?

he gives you a smile and like you notice it’s forced?? it’s not genuine or bright like the one he usually gives

mj: no I’m not dating anyone...my last relationship sorta traumatized me I guess. 

you: ...how did it traumatize you...? you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to myungjun

mj: ah *awkward laughter* well...I was sorta going through it my senior year of high school, stress from graduating and what to do with my life and all that shit, you know? I dated this person since my freshman year and I guess my mental health got the best of me during that time and they couldn’t handle it. We were planning on staying together throughout college and do long distance but I found out in the summer before starting college that they fucked my high school best friend behind my back...when I confronted them about it, the answer they gave me was that I was too down and preoccupied with my worries to notice about my partner’s needs...pretty fucked up right?

your jaw dropped, your eyes were bulging out at his story

you: myungjun what the fuck??? what college do they go to? I’ll pull up right now and beat their asses, I don’t know scream in their face or something! That’s fucked!

he’s laughing a little: thanks y/n, but it’s alright. You know, maybe I was too caught up in my own problems that I ended up neglecting my partner’s needs...I guess that’s why I’m always just trying to be carefree and fun now.

you: that doesn’t justify the fact that what they did to you was wrong. you should have never gone through that myungjun, it’s not your fault that you were going through it mentally, your partner should have been there to support you and understand your struggles, not cheat on you with your best friend. ugh I’m pissed for you. 

mj: I appreciate it y/n, but yeah love’s sorta a hard subject for me.

you nod in understanding

mj: well! that’s my traumatic breakup story, it’s only fair you share yours

you laugh: you’re right. Well I was dating this guy right when I entered college, met him at the freshman orientation, completely hit it off. I was so in love with him, we dated for about a year. And then last semester he broke up with me out of nowhere, said he wanted to focus on school and himself and that he needed a break from dating. I found out two days later that he started dating one of his suite mates and that on the night he broke up with me, they fucked. So love? also something hard for me.

mj: aww look at us both unable to find or relate to love because of past relationship traumas.

you hit his shoulder laughing: you’re such a headass

mj: I’m kidding! anyway, I’m sorry you went through that too y/n. it sucks and your ex is a dumbass for breaking up with you. Do you still have feelings for him? w-wait, you don’t have to answer that, was that insensitive?

you: you’re fine haha. Um...well...sometimes when I overthink things at night, I do miss him and I wonder what the hell I did wrong for it to end so abruptly because I was honestly really happy with him, but then I wake up in the morning and I hate him again. 

mj: you did nothing wrong y/n...and if you need to call me at 2 am when you’re overthinking and need some badass confidence knocked into you, I will be awake.

you smile and give him a hug: thanks myungjun...you know the same goes for you too?

mj: hm??? what do you mean??

you: you don’t always have to smile around me, especially if you don’t feel like it. Don’t repress your mental health, huh? It’s bad for the soul to bottle it in. I’m not gonna force you to share your darkest fears with me, I’m just saying that if you feel drained and wanna talk about it, I’m here to listen

myungjun pouts a little bit, he’s really touched?? it’s hard for him to share his troubles with others

like as much as he loves astro and is close to them, he doesn’t share his down sides with the boys as often as he should bc he never wants to burden them

myungjun just always thought it was easier to suppress the bad feelings and put on a happy act

but he couldn’t deny the weight lifted off his shoulders after telling you about his breakup

and maybe it was because your energies were on a different level lately, but he found it so?? easy?? to just vent to you after that

until competition, the two of you worked on faking like you were in love (basically imagining that each other was your favorite actor/actress or whatever, something like that)

it was good enough for the group to believe it lol

but what about the judges and audience hmmmmm

anyway, fast forward and it’s competition day!!

myungjun introduces you to his best friends aka the boysss aka astro

they come and support him for his competition ugh we love

you’re like smiling and hyper when you meet them

...has myungjun been rubbing off on you???

you: it’s so nice to meet you all! myungun always talks so highly of you

astro: huh?? you’re lying, myungjun hyung complimenting us???

and then they start messing and friendly bickering with each other and yes they’re teasing mj

you’re laughing bc it’s so cute?? you can see in their eyes and their smiles how much they really care about each other :’)

also astro, probably jin or eunwoo, maybe rocky: we’re sorry if m hyung has driven you to insanity these past few months of rehearsing

you just laugh as myungjun hits them: myungjun’s actually been like my partner in crime lately, so we’re all good :)

*cue the boys exchanging looks with each other*

you perform ah ha ha

alright, you were so used to thinking that myungjun was...idk kim soohyun or something bc mm chef’s kiss his acting...to get into the emotion of the song

but then during the actual performance you saw him as myungjun and like all the hard work and extra practices and late night talks came in full force and you were just...singing to him

and you notice how...handsome?? and charismatic?? myungjun really is...and the little sparkle in his eyes when he’s performing like...wow

and after your set, you’re just like shit, what the fuck was that??

your group doesn’t win though, you place second!

but you and myungjun get awarded best solo/duet of the entire competition

astro: ;)

your acapella group: ;)

the judges: ;)

alright so im a firm believer that if myungjun had feelings for someone, he would straight up tell them like balls to the wall full fucking send

after competition, the routine of school comes back. you occasionally hang out with myungjun outside of rehearsal

by occasionally, I mean once a week hangout with myungjun (and astro bc they started inviting you to their dinners)

and then one night – at midnight – he calls you like out of pocket and his tone is like completely serious

you’re a bit scared?? like: myungjun...is everything okay? did something happen?

mj: y/n...can I ask you something?

you: yeah, of course

mj: do you still think about your ex?

you: o_o um...honestly no, not really...why?

mj: well, if I’m being honest. y/n, I have feelings for you. And i’m not asking you to like me back or give me an answer straight away, but I just wanted to let you know. If you don’t think about your ex anymore, and if you think you’re ready...maybe you can consider thinking of me??

mmmmm kim myungjun you slick flirty dog grrr bark bark

and you know how he can just talk, and talk fast, so you’re still in the middle of processing this and he just goes on like

“sleep on it, y/n. I’ll see you soon for rehearsal, okay? good night”

like you don’t even have a chance to respond to him bc he just hangs up the phone

you think about it, of course you think about it, you’ve been thinking about it ever since competition

having feelings for myungjun has always been in the back of your mind since then

like did you notice that when you hung out with him, your heart would flutter if he said something sweet?? or if you two were a bit too close to each other?? 100%

but you didn’t know if either of you were ready for another relationship so it’s just been put on the back burner

at the next acapella practice, you find that your cheeks just flush whenever myungjun looks your way

the rehearsal went a bit??? weird?? like even your group noticed that there was a bit of a tension between you and myungjun

but of course, he goes up and talks to you after rehearsal ended and he’s like: hey...I’m sorry if my confession made you feel weird, I didn’t mean for that at all. If you want, we can just forget about what I said and stay friends! 

you just facepalm like: myungjun you idiot, I’m acting weird because I like you too. God, you know maybe the boys are right, maybe you need to shut your mouth for a little bit

and he whines like: hey!

but then he realizes what you said and he gives you the brightest smile: you mean it?? you like me back??

and you’re like shyly smiling now: yeah...I do...but do you want to take the next step?? I mean...do you think you’re ready for another relationship??

he gets like serious and he grabs your hand: not gonna lie, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready after my last one...but if there’s someone I wanna try it with, it’s you.

:’) kim !!! myung !!! jun !!!

dating myungjun?? the best thing ever

the cutest boy alive honestly

he has so much cute and goofy in him already with just friends and strangers

but with you, it’s increased tenfold

even you start to act cute and goofy after dating him

petnames?? bub and bubby

myungjun is not serious about a lot of things, but he is very serious about his feelings for you and your relationship

y’all take things at your own pace and he !! values !! consent !! even if it’s just like making out

he just doesn’t wanna mess things up with you :’)

the type of boyfriend to sing you to sleep ah !!! his voice is heaven alright

will be extra about pda in front of the guys to make them grossed out

and yes you get embarrassed, but myungjun’s too cute to scold

you get used to a lot of second-hand embarrassment dating him and being friends with the boys

but it’s just so endearing, you can’t even fight it

will swing your arms together when you’re out just walking

screams he’s so cute

you don’t really fight bc communicating with each other is one of the biggest things in your relationship

like if a disagreement or a situation comes up, you two are mature enough to talk it through and work things out bc you both already been knew what it’s like to be in a relationship that didn’t have full transparency

you do jokingly bicker about small things though (like think about how astro fights)

but he always ends fights by scooping you up in a hug and showering your face with kisses

loves kissing your nose

just imagine: you and myungjun cuddling and he just kisses your nose and you scrunch up your face and he just laughs and kisses you all over and you two end up giggling

will do anything to see a smile on your face, it’s the greatest sight to him

alright we been talking too much about how cute myungjun is

he’s also a hot motherfucker alright

the most attractive when he’s singing in your opinion

you know how charismatic he is, you’ve seen it first hand during rehearsal and performances

he’s very good at hiding his horniness, especially in public

but phew when you two are in private and myungjun’s in the mood

you can tell bc his eyes just get hazy and he immediately just starts kissing your neck

a very passionate lover, will prioritize your pleasure over his

sex with myungjun can go from being sweet and sensual, to fun and playful, to hot and exciting

by that...I mean that he is down to try every kink and position you can think of

as long as both of you are okay with it ofc

he’s one of the kinkiest members in astro im convinced

blindfolds? bondage? ice cubes? wax play?

you want it? you got it

he’s not into feet though, i apologize to my foot fetish lovers

his favorite position is actually missionary

myungjun loves being able to watch you and to see how good he’s making you feel

in missionary is when he feels the most connected to you, it’s just a passionate position

and yes he’s very vocal, so you betcha he encourages you to be vocal as well

will try to mess with you in a sense where say you two are hanging out with the guys, he’ll touch you and challenge you to not make a noise

and then he’ll snicker and wink at you if you even let out a peep

he’s a tease !!! like will edge you until you’re on the brink of cumming at least 3 times

myungjun has pretty good stroke game alright

very fluid with his hips, idk he just knows all the right spots to hit

praise...kink...that’s the tweet, need I say more

he’s into hair pulling !! both ways !! 

okay hear me out...myungjun fucking you and pulling your hair until your screaming and then after you both cum, he’s like: you hit a high f earlier bub! I almost wanted to harmonize with you but–

you: myungjun are you serious!

sex with him would always just be a fun time, like he’s hot and grrr it feels so good but there’s always a bit of laughing and joking around in the process

like he will tickle you before he puts his cock in you just to see the switch of you laughing to moaning

alright but shower sex?? he’s into that

and just the acoustics of both of your sounds in the bathroom?? it’s so filthy he loves it – and it’s easy to clean up afterwards

you bet that after any performance with your group, the two of you have sex, even if it’s just a quickie in an empty practice room or whatever

no shame, will kick the boys out or announce “we’re going to fuck bye!” if you or him get too horny in the middle of a hangout

im just gonna throw this out here...you and myungjun...mile high club

(your group competed in an acapella competition and the flight there...it just happened)

all in all, myungjun just wants to make you happy and feel good and smile, even if you two just finished an intense sex session

let’s get into the deep stuff though, you are the only person myungjun is comfortable with to not show a smile all the time

even with the boys, there’s always a small part of him that wants to just push through and be optimistic just so that they won’t worry

but with you, he knows that it’s okay to be sad and to be vulnerable :’)

when myungjun cries bc he’s upset :( fuck you cry too

he loves when you just hug him and stroke his hair when he’s stressed

very showy about your relationship, not bc he’s braggy, but bc he just wants to show the world how happy you make him and that he’s in love <3

the boys are so happy to see their eldest in love :’)

they don’t show it around each other, but they’ve come up to you in private and say sweet things like

“you make myungjun hyung so happy, he always brings joy to everyone but you bring joy to him, thank you”

im !! getting !! sentimental !!

the day you found out myungjun was in love with you was the day you met his parents

‘twas a bit spontaneous

his parents came to see one of your group performances and myungjun’s like holding your hand and leading you somewhere after you get off stage and he’s like “bub! these are my parents!”

you end up getting dinner with his family and yikes you were hella nervous, you were not expecting on meeting his parents right after your performance

not gonna lie, you thought he was leading you to the car for some post-performance sex

but they adored you, his parents could see how much you meant to their son ugh I cry

anyway, the L word

as you’re finishing dinner, myungjun’s all giddy and just like

“I’m so glad you came and watched mom and dad, the timing was perfect too! I wanted to introduce you to y/n for a while now and have you meet the person I love.”

and his parents are just smiling at you and saying how they’re so happy to finally meet you and how you have an amazing voice and to take care of myungjun and you’re !!! just !!! blushing !!!

as soon as you both got in the car after saying goodbye to his parents, he’s just like: hope I didn’t surprise you too much bubby, I didn’t know my parents were coming to watch until like an hour before we went on stage

you just give him a little smile: I was a bit caught off guard, but it’s okay. Your parents are so sweet, I see where you get it from bub.

myungjun: I can tell that they love you already! well of course not as much as I do, but with time I know they’ll come pretty close

and you’re blushing again, it’s the L word: do you mean it myungjun?

myungjun: that my parents love you?? of course–

you: no, bub...that you...love me?

myungjun: yeah...unless you don’t feel the same way–

you: myungjun! no, of course I do! I just wasn’t expecting the first time to hear it was with your parents

you two are laughing, ugh this man

after your giggles subside, he leans over from the driver’s seat and he just cups your cheek and pecks your nose: I love you y/n, thank you for reminding me what love feels like

you: I love you too myungjun

and then you two are just like sharing a sweet kiss in the parking lot of the restaurant before starting the drive back to his place

do you and myungjun make duets together for fun and post it?? yeah probably

you are the luckiest dating myungjun, the living breathing embodiment of serotonin and love

even when you two are older and out of college, he still gives you the same affection and attention and authenticity ugh he’s just amazing

im so sorry this was late but happy belated to our happy virus <3

3-12-21

[crystal-moon-101]

Ben Gen 10 - Live Reaction Review

Right, so since I’ve finally got my hands on the new crossover episodes, and since my favourite show of all time is Generator Rex, I thought I’d watch it and write down things along the way. Mostly just reactions to things happening as they go, and then probably a simple review at the in another post of what I liked, didn’t like, and maybe what other ways this episode could have gone.

Spoilers! Kind of, for those who haven’t seen it yet! But onto the watching!

Should probably mention I haven’t seen a whole lot of the Reboot Ben 10. Not awful from what I’ve seen, some interesting and well-done aspect even, but certainly not my cup of tea. But I’m here for my boi Rex anyway so…

This is actually quite a cute theme song intro, not gonna lie

Ah, yes, a very American opening in a very American location.

Lol, of course they use Heatblast as the first alien in the episode, got the same voice actor as Rex, nice touch.

Evil...trees? Are these actually villains in the show?

Also, that little girl is precious.

Ben, are you trying to start a forest fire in the middle of the park?!

Ha, Gwen gets it!

Ah, yes, more American stuff.

“Don’t wreck the precious monuments” should have seen what you did to Mount Rushmore in your past, Ben.

Sup, Hex.

Music is evil, got it.

So Ben’s aliens are pretty famous already, at least being treated more like celebrities than monster sightings.

“Burn the flute!” A.K.A nearly burn Hex in the process.

And that’s why Ben never passed music class.

And why exactly do you want the world, Hex?

“Hopefully the last one of the summer” Don’t jinx it Max!

Time goes by so fast, doesn’t it Ben? Especially with aliens, villains and timetravel.

Max is secretly an EVO with that kind of growl.

Yes, because as we all know, villains will stop trying to take over the world once summer is over. They must hibernate for the winter.

Also, Max, did you steal those marshmallows?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….Ben, you good there?....Did Hex do something to your brain?

Who thought this would be great to animate!?

We all have those existential crises and talk to smores.

Jesus, Rex, got ninja skills I see.

Some homeless kid and his monkey stole my food? Time to kick some ass!

My favourite alien, Canonballoon.

I’ve missed my boy and his chimp.

Awwwww they’re sharing! Also just….feel so bad for them already. Homeless and struggling for food, my poor boys.

So EVOs do exist here? Wonder how that will be explained.

Ben out here really trying to beat up some other kid, lol. What a great hero.

Bobo, you are great.

I feel like...Ben’s going through some issues.

Ah yaaaaaaaaaaa, bring on the EVO powers! BFS!

Look ma, no hands!

Rex 1, Ben 0

Ben really wants to commit murder or assault here, wow.

Overboard is the word I’d use, yes.

The life of a background character.

Nanites confirmed! And now they’re in the watch, that ain’t good.

Huh...not what I thought was gonna happen.

The little girl is still precious.

This would be fun to explain to Azmuth.

This ain’t good.

On the run from Providence I see.

Awww, poor Rex. Really doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

I can’t tell if these people are angry because of the DNA affect them, or they’re really just being angry in general.

See ya, Gwen and Max.

Interesting to see that the Providence aircraft looks straight out of the show.

Evening, Six.

Still a badass like normal.

He said Omega, he said the word!

Also, nice blame game there Ben. It’s not like you provoked Rex by, ya know, trying to crush him like a grape.

Um...Six...did you just….try to kill a kid? He didn’t know Ben had powers, that pillar could have easily crushed a normal human.

“This is how you try to convince me you’re not a threat?” Say the dude who just tried to murder a kid!!”

Oh no, he Naruto runs! 

Oh, hello Hex.

Also, what is Providence in this world? What are EVOs and Nanites in this world? None of this has been explained yet.

Ok, so that’s what Providence is...You’d think we would have seen them before based on all the aliens showing up who want to destroy the world.

EVO Generator....I wonder if that means that there aren’t very many EVOs, like maybe there is only a set group from the same lab, and Rex is considered the most dangerous because he can make EVOs.

Ben, do you even know what an EVO is?

Jeez, I know Six is like, the sixth deadliest man on the planet, but he just tackles alien Ben like it’s nothing. This guy should take on Vilgax.

Did he say nib libs?

My boi’s back!

I’m not liking this Six...very much not the character I’ve come to love. Who are you and what have you done with the real Six!

Lol, gotta make sure the kids at home know these aren’t real guns!

Using a net on one kid, and about to beat the crap out of the other, nice.

I do have to ask why Hex was picked to me the main villain, beyond whatever the hell Providence is doing. Why the magic dude and not a tech based villain? Someone who could be both interested in the watch and nanites.

What a covenant spell you have there, Hex.

Again, why do you want to take over the world?

“No, those are my aliens!” I think that’s the least of your concern there, Ben.

Bobo 1, Hex 0

Why is Bobo one of the best-written character’s here? Not that I hate Bobo, but just…

Lol, Rex did you just lay there, the entire time? What was that net made out of?

Ah, right. Let’s attack the children rather the magical manic who clearly stated he wanted to rule the world.

Those nets are fireproof apparently.

Ooof, ah….quite the sore spot there, Ben.

Just let me hug Rex, please…

Are there EVOs are are there not!?

I know this is supposed to connect with older fans, but most of this info would fly over the head of anyone who hasn’t watched Generator Rex. They act like everyone knows what EVOs and nanites are.

Still with the blame game are we, Ben?

Judging by that look, Rex’s parents are also dead in this world. Guess he’s not allowed nice things in this universe either.

That flashback was….so latching in the dramatic department. 

Now ya wanna help, Ben.

He’s so scared of himself, noooo!

Ya, but the different between you and him, Ben, is that he lost his parents, his home, got mutated, his memories became hazy, got locked up and called a monster, and now lives on the streets stealing smores. I think Rex has more of a reason to feel scared at being new with the hero business.

Bobo gets it.

Gotta love they added details on Gwen and Max’s alien forms to make them stick out from the rest. Don’t want to confuse anyone lol.

Thinking of a clever comeback on the spot is hard, not gonna lie.

Yes, Ben, drown him.

Again, with the American music, lol. It ruins the fight scene here.

What is this fight scene?

Original Providence agents would have died on screen rather than ditching the fight.

God, everyone’s made Rex feel like everything is his fault, poor guy.

Rock 1, Ben 0

This message and heartfelt moment falls flat, the build-up wasn’t there and it just...kind of happens. It lacks a lot of flavour and impact, and it doesn’t help with how most of these characters are written.

Old people jokes.

Now we shift the blame to Kevin.

Is Fourarms Gwen bigger? Because if so, nice touch, since we know female Tetramands are stronger/bigger than the men.

Ok, so attempted murder is fine when Six and Ben try to do it, but not Rex, got it.

Get in line Hex, you’re not the first who wants to ‘recruit’ Rex. You’ve got Providence, Van Kleiss, Quarry, Black Knight, that one band, and so on so fourth.

Why is this heartfelt moment suddenly happening now? This feels like it could have been placed back when Rex refused to fix the watch.

Ben…”I’ve already tried that!” Bruh, you tried beating him up, telling Six and Providence you saw him, basically acted like he wasn’t a good hero because he refuses to get over his trauma, and reached out your hand once because it benefited you....I get what they’re trying to do, but it just makes Ben look like a jerk. I get he’s ten, but still…

Just...slap him Bobo, please…

Why are we so nervous about Rex’s sword? Ben you have aliens that can burn, cut, smash and so on, and you barely care what you do. Remember how you nearly started that forest fire at the start?...

Yo, what!? What kind of logic is that, Providence? “Whelp, guess earth is screwed, might as well burn it”

Ya, remember that time when EVOs infected the whole world, and Providence decided to just burn everything down with lasers? 

Extendo blade.

Huh, so Six’s blades can break down Rex’s builds.

Salamander...don’t you mean...Skalamander?

One ship? What is Providence packing!?

Yasss, Punk Busters!

Rex is crying, how dare you!

Now we got Smack Hands, you’re in for it, Hex!

Ooooooooooooooonnnnn iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttt!

Ah yes, the sixth most beautiful man on the planet.

Again...what is with the nuking?

Magical cloth fixing, just what I need.

Pure chaos with my boy.

Cracking his neck made me cringe.

Also why the sudden change in heart, Six? This feels out of character for the character who is out of character.

Look, Rex, you’re either gonna fix the watch, or you’re gonna start the self destruct countdown. Everything is going to hell, so might as well take that 50/50.

And it worked!

Ah ya, about that missile.

See’s missile inbound “I can handle it!”

Iron Giant vibes around here.

Screw ruling the world, I’m gonna murder this one child!

My cat’s the same.

REX, DID YOU JUST KICK A MISSILE!?

So that’s his full name?

I think you need to work on those vacation days with your boss, Six.

You are not Six, I will never accept you.

So the episode starts with Rex being alone, homeless and being chased by Providence, and ends with him being alone, homeless and being chased by Providence. What was the improvement here? Self Confident?

Ben even just lets him go, doesn’t even offer him to stay with his family.

Rex deserves better.

Another heartfelt moment that just...falls flat…

“Always be family and be there for you, Ben” Until you go to college without telling him before hand

So!...That was the crossover. Not...amazing sadly. I didn’t have high hopes to begin with, and mostly was just happy enough to have Gen Rex be acknowledged. But this Crossover missed a lot of points, and fumbles quite a bit. It reminds me a lot of the Secret Saturdays Crossover and what was wrong there. But I’m tired and will do a break down/proper review another day, if people are keen for that. Thanks for reading this if you did, it was a rollercoster!

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2020 Part 1 (#20-#11)

Hello Hello Hello animation fans! And welcome to something i’ve wanted to since last year. See I had the idea for a best episodes list back in 2019: rather than do a best shows list, which would be only about half of 20+ shows anyway, I thought i’d do a best episode lists: to give as many shows a possiblitiy to shine as possible while still honoring the best of the year. But my own natural foibles got the better of me: I INSISSITED on watching everything I missed.. then just kept putting THAT off until it was was spring, shows were coming back and I just threw up my hands. I’ve regretted it ever since and vowed, especially since in the interim animation went from just being something I analyized for fun to my analyzing it for fun AND profit, to get it done this year.  So I had to make a few caveats. First I gave myself at first till the 31st of the year and then due to covid and everything that happened, until the end of the first week or so of the year, i.e. today, to watch as much as I could. So several shows are missing. Some I REALLY got behind on and don’t have an excuse for (Craig of the Creek and Big City Greens), others I also really liked but my depression made it really hard to watch (F is for Family and very nearly Bojack), some I just kept putting off ever starting or forgot to start entirely (Hilda, yes even since season 1, Kipo: Age of the Wonderbeasts and It’s Pony) and some.. I gave up because as you can tell I sit on shows way too often (Ilve action wise I still need to get back to Doom Patrol), and I realized i’d rather watch stuff old and new I care about than waste time with something that I just stopped liking, i.e. Rick and Morty and Big Mouth which i’m guaranteed some flack for saying but I dont’ care. I have my reasons, and while I originally GAVE those reasons I decided to leave them out: this list is not about me bitching about why I quit certain shows. I’m a grown ass man, I can quit a show anytime, and given last year was such a craphole, I think we could use less piss and vinegar and more sugar.  So before we begin, a bit about the state of animation last year: It was in flux. WIth a new decade dawning we got great new shows like Owl House, Close Enough, which in a year full of terrible suprises not only FINALLY got released but did so with a second season order, Solar Opposities, the Midnight Gospel and Kipo: Age of Wonderbeasts. Ducktales returned for it’s best season ever. Amphibia returned for a pretty good season. Disney brought back the wonderful mickey mouse shorts towards the end of the year, FINALLY given D+ some non-movie animated content. The Casagrandes got better as it went and just barely didn’t make this list and the Loud House kept on trucking and shows no signs of stopping with a season renewal and a movie coming out. And Adventure Time staged a comeback a few years after it died and while I haven’t seen BMO yet, Obsidian was fantastic and only barely didn’t make the list. 

Not only that but we got   great new series announced for the next two years: Lumberjanes is FINALLY getting adapted and by Noelle Stevenson herself. Gendy Tarkovsky is not only returning to children’s animation but with a wonderously weird concept about immortal unicorns turned into teens> There’s a promising show about a ghost and a plucky tween coming this summer. The Rise of the TMNT movie is still happening. Craig McCracken is also coming back.  But naturally given this was 2020 the news wasn’t all good as we said goodbye to a lot of shows.. and this was after 2019 already took several from us, OK KO still being the hardest loss to this day and Star Vs very disapointing finale still leaving a bad taste in my mouth: Most gutpunchingly, the two frontrunners of animation at the time, shows that truly changed the game and probably gave other shows a chance at life they never would’ve had, including some on this list, ended. 

Steven Universe took it’s final bow after we got one last trip to beach city with the Future miniseries, with the show ending gracefully and beautifully, and having pulled off it’s third succesive possible ending for the franchise and it’s defntive ending for steven’s story. Bojack did the same not long before, ending on a bittersweet but beautiful note and with a one two punch of the series best episode and i’ts second best episode, a satsifying but bittersweet finale we’ll get to. Both shows as I said have set hte standards and tones for most animation after them, and both’s absence is felt.  She Ra suprisingly ended, though with a beautiful and wonderful finale we’ll, again, get to, and on i’ts own terms, but given it was the most likely to take up the shield from steven, it was another punch. Less peacefully was the ending of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a show I caught up on after it’s demise which was screwed by the network over toy sales because that’s.. still.. a thing. 

There is a light of hope, as the movie is somehow still in production and if it does well we may get season 3, but it’s dim and given the show, despite it’s flaws, had found itself and the finale, which they were given weeks to put together, was spectacular and, say it with me now “we’ll get to that”, I really hope it does. And that nick learns how to run an animation company for fuck’s sake. 

Infnity Train while not dead, is on life support despite having it’s best season in season 2 and an okay season that still tackeled racisim very well even if story wise the season faltered, at a time when we REALLY need to tackle racisim in our entertaiment period. Venture Bros meanwihle was just flat out canceled for no given reason despite both having as eason renewal order and you know, being Adult Swim’s highest rated and best show for over a decade. Like Infinity Train and Rise there’s a SCRAP of hope, both adult swim and hbo max are apparently looking into ways to bring it back so a finale movie or a season 6 comic are propable, but given the show ended on two big cliffhangers, and given 2020 already had pushed back a LOT of things I’d looked forward to for good reason, and had now just outright killed a show, it was a massive shattering blow and easily the biggest of the year.  But coming VERY close was finding out Ducktales was ending. While the finale would serve as a proper finale, I feel the show easily could’ve had more seasons.. Disney just dosen’t let shows go on forever, or sometimes not even for a reasonable amount.. or put those shows it didn’t let go on a resonable amount on Disney Plus.. and I will be bringing that last part up until Wonder Over Yonder is FINALLY put on the platform, along with MANy other shows. Figure it out.  But yeah that was ANOTHER show I thought would lead the way and like Gravity Falls lead to Ducktales, Ducktales will probably lead to more shows including HOPEFULLY a frank and matt lead Darkwing Duck.. and even that’s in jeapordy since instead it might be done by Seth Rogan’s company who while not bad people and if their working on Frakn’s reboot great.. are not the people who spent three seasons setitng up a reboot in a unvierse they already spent three seasons deftly crafting. I DOUBT Frank won’t be involved since Let’s Get Dangerous was promoted to hell and back, but again given this is disney.. it worries me and I won’t be settled on this till we get conformation of a proper reboot with frank and matt at the helm. 

Point is it was a rough year for animatoin even without covid taken into account pushing back seasons and forcing a change in work habits. But as this list attests even in the worst year in recenet memory, here’s hoping 2021 dosen’t say hold my beer, there was some damn fine animation, including some of the best i’ve ever seen and the shows that did leave or are getting ready to gave us one hell of a show. Before we get started one last bit of buisness for transparency: As I said i missed some shows and others I did watch but given despite this list’s sheer size it was still VERY tight, for the record each show got four nominees a piece, and some had even more episodes considered before widdling it down, and even at the 40 episode mark there were some tough cuts and by the end it was brutal. So here’s the show’s considered. 

Shows Watched: Steven Universe Future, Infinity Train, Close Enough, She Ra, Ducktales, Amphibia, The Loud House, The Casagrandes, Rise of the TMNT, Animaniacs, Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse, Adventure Time: Distant Lands, Solar Opposites, Bojack Horseman, The Owl House, The Midnight Gospel Shows That Did Not Make the Final List: The Loud House, The Casagrandes, Animaniacs, The Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse, Adventure Time: Distant Lands, and Solar Opposites.  Final note: all episode’s i’ve done reviews of at the time of this list will have links in the title to said reviews in case your curious So with that in mind , here’s my top 20 list, part 1.. becasue these posts are going to be long as hell so I needed to split up gang. On with the show after the cut as this is a really damn long one

20. Fragments (Steven Universe Future) “I bow to your strength.. my Diamond”  Steven Unvierse’s final act was a masterstroke. The show ended with every major conflict resolved as the Diamonds decided , if only for Steven’s sake at first, to change their ways and helped him restore the corrupted gems, while Lars made it home. Our heroes were FINALLY, after seasons and almost two in-story years, as Steven “Finally Done, Finally Us, Finally Me”, the last part being especially pogniant since, while done thanks to a horrifying action on whites part, his breif seperation PROVED there was nothing of rose left; She’s gone.  So Future uses this cleverly: With the conlfict of the movie resolved things were still very nice.. but eventually Steven started breaking down piece by piece: As the series went on it became clear what it was: A deconstuction of some of the less healthy part of the mostly fairly healthy and wonderful main show. It showed just what happen when someone whose put his identity into having some kind of destiny, someone whose felt their purpose in life is to make other people’s better and solve their problems and be a good person.. has no issues to solve. Oh sure there’s an antagonist here and there and Jasper refuses to change or admit no third great gem war is coming and that peace really has come.. but his family are finally happy with who they are, and are moving on with their lives. As someone whose had people move on without them and whose clunt to people this hits close to home.. hits close to home a lot. 

So as the season went on Steven clung to everything, taking it VERY badly when Lars and Sadie not only revealed their attempt at a relationship failed after years of build up, and never told steven because they thought it wasn’t his buisness, which is true to a point as them breaking up isn’t anything to do with him but someone should’ve told him it was amicable given the amount of shit he’s seen between you two, just saying. But it still meant a good chunk of his friends leaving town, and him, behind. Attempts to fillt his gap with tv watching or gardneing, aka what the crew amazingly dubbed “Depression Hobbies:”, a term that hits close to home, failed and then a far WORSE attempt to fill the void in his life by proposing to connie failed.. she turned him down firmly, but gently recognizing this was a terrible idea, they were too young, and he was clearly going through some stuff. As garnet put it “Your partner is your compliment, not your missing piece”. Another beautiful term to stick in my brain. 

So as if this wasn’t bad enough his body started mutatating and it turned out the pink form he’d gained was actually supposed to just be his body’s version of adrenline, but since he’d spent years in constnat struggle, his body was treating his emotinal stress like do or die situations with predictable results. We’ll get to that more in a bit but needless to say steven’s family were concerned and Greg returned from managing Sadie to TRY and help his son.. only to drive a wedge between them as Greg’s Smothering Parents seemed like the life Steven never had, instead of obnoxious people who refused to reconcile with their son even decades later despite plenty of effort on greg’s end and Greg having to raise a child alone with only marginal support from the gems at best at first. But Greg’s tragic inablity to see his son was hurting, as with everyone elses lead to him nearly getting them hurt in a car accident and thus this episode.  After getting chewed out by the gems, who tragically simply don’t realize what’s wrong with steven, can’t figure out why themselves and he refuses to tell them, Steven runs off, to the one person who would never tell the gems where he is and the last place they’d expect him to go at his lowest: Jasper. And thus we get one of the darkest and moodiest episodes of the show’s long history. 

After having lost a lot of his sense of peace of mind: his best friends are gone, his girlfriend is next, his parents and sister are constantly busy, there’s no one for him to turn to. Steven NEEDS someone like him and while his family is trying they just don’t know how to reach him and deep down he dosen’t WANT them to. Like me at times, shocker I know, he fears deeply that if they knew some of the flaws about him, some of the problems he’s had, they’d hate him. When as time would bear out for both of us, as my first stint of therapy near the end of colllege proved, it just means they understand you better and can HELP YOU. 

So instead he turns to Jasper, and he does so for good reason: He wants to control his power and emotions.. the problem is Jasper dosen’t WANT what Steven wants. Steven wants to feel godo again and feel healthy and be the person people want him to be. Jasper.. wants a fight. She wants a diamond, someone to serve, someone stronger than her who will LET her be what she feels she’s meant to be: a warrior, a destroyer, a breaker of worlds. So she slams that steven shaped peg into a round hole, and it’s horrifying and uncomfortable to see our hero turned from a loveable hero.. to a power obssed, almost vegeta-esque asshole .. in short she’s made him into the very thing he spent years fighting against, all because he’s so scared of himself he can’t face himself. It shows just how bad things have gotten: that steven’s hates himself SO MUCH, that he’d rather become something worse than face the truth and let his family help him. So convinced they don’t need him that he needs to be something ELSE. 

And so tons of training, abuse and hard labor lead to the moment Jasper and fans had been waiting for: a rematch between the two. And.. it’s easily one of the series best fights. For a series that’s at it’s core about ending the cycle of violence and often big exchanges of words and someone emotinally healing are treated as big as victories in combat.. the show has some of the best fight scenes in cartoons period, and this being the penultimate one, we’ll get to the last one next time, it’s a brutal, dbz style slugfest, something unlike the other fights in the show, with two opponents full of rage and hate going at it with everything they have.. ending in Steven, for one breif terrifying moment having BECOME what his grandmothers and mother used to be: A sadstic monster drunk on their own power “Your right jasper, I WAS holding back”

But when we next see Steven, running into the house and ingoring his rightfully concerned family..... he’s not that guy anymore. He’s back to who he was at the start of the episode: A scared teenager who deeply hates himself and who wants to be better but is ironically shutting out the only people who can help him. And one.. whose committed murder. This was a VERY bold move to make: Steven KILLED SOMEONE. Sure it was  shattering so it got past censors, but in his lowest moment.. steven did the one thing that to someone who treasures all life, is anthemia to him: he killed, did what his mother did before she changed, did what his aunts have done countless times to countless worlds. And it horrifes him, with him desperate to bring jasper back and using everything he has, his powers and his aunts essences, to try and fix his mistake.  And unlike anyone else in his postion he succeeds.. and Jasper, ignoring steven’s attempts to apologize is surprised at first at being shattered, knowing what happened.. befor bowing proudly, FINALLY getting what she was REALLY after: A diamond to serve. And steven can only gaze in horror at what he’d become and at the realization he can’t go back from this and he has no idea what to do now. An utterly grippling, utterly terrifying character piece with some of Zach Callistons best character work in the show’s storied history, with Steven shifting from being drunk on his power to utterly broken at having broken jasper. One of the series finest moments.. only topped by some things the series proper did.. and some more on this list. 

19. Perils of Peekablue (She Ra and the Princesses of Power) 

“They are my people. Which means most of them have sworn revenge against me at some point “  She Ra was easily one of the best shows of the 2010′s. While it started out excellent, and pretty gay, it ended being a masterpiece, and fabulously gay, as is befitting something related to He Man in some way. 

A masterful space opera, She Ra had some great bones in a thrilling love story, great humor, great action and wonderful characters most of them main and supporting going through some form of development. It was a wonderful, magical show and I look forward to Noelle giving Lumberjanes the series treatment, both because the series concept is frankly better built for an ongoing tv series than a monthly comic, and because after this series she has my utmost faith in whatever she does. Also her story about how she both came to terms with her sexuality and met her partner was VERY lovely.  Seriously check it out. Also her partner was the one who co wrote another entry on this list, just a fun fact. Point is this show was awesome.  But as I said part of the show’s strength was it’s character and that shines on this day in the limelight episode covering what’s going with the rebellion since She Ra shot off into space to rescue her best friend. We do get to see the best friends squad breifly, but their simply heading home: With Catra rescued and on the path to being a better person, and firmly in adora’s lap because again this show is wonderously gay and because it annoys her and Catra gets off on that, our heroes are wondering how everyone else is fairing.  So we see that, as with the Rebellion not doing so good against Horde Prime, our heroes seek the solution to their problems with the same solution homer simpson always uses:

Well okay less starting a new life and more getting the help of the mysterious prince peekablue, who I now realize is where the whole pikablue name for merril probbaly came from.. or maybe nerds making things up in the 90′s werne’t that creative. You decide!

So we get the ragtag team of Mermista, Seahawk, Scorpia and Perfuma, as the quartet try to bluff their way to the prince for help. Naturally we get Seahawk being seahawk, i.e. an awesome ham with a voice way older than he looks, Mermista being annoyed by that and being forced to admit she tried out pyromania to see what it’s like, which naturally is the most romantic thing Seahawk’s heard in his whole life.. as well as some VERY charming ship tease between Scorpia and Perfuma as Scorpia enrouages her the two bond and Scorpia finally likes someone who both likes her back and isn’t so obssed with her sorta ex and tied up in her own issues a relationship is impossible. Look I was suprised she found someone else as everyone here, but i’m happys for her. She’s the nicest person on this show and is now dating the second nicest person on this show. It’s nice okay. 2020 didn’t give me much nice, it gave me the emotoinal equilvent of being constnatly stung by hornets.

We also get a lovely musical number from Scorpia about being a spy.. and the revelation Peekablue.. is just Double Trouble. THEIR BACK BABY. It was nice for them to make a comeback for one last apperance and they do provid vallid information.. but prove to not be too useful despite this both due to their habit of being only out for themselves, hence setting up an elaborate cabaret act under the ocean.. and because Mermista got chipped by the crowd, so now our heroes are stuck in a giant coffin surronded by the thing she can manipulate. It’s only through a harrowing sacrifice by scorpia that Perfuma and Seahawk escape but with their sorta partners now brainwahsed to the other side.  To amp up the tension back home.. things are even worse as Spinerlla, whose been brainwashed for several episodes and seriously worrying her wife Netossa... has made her move and with the rest of the rebellion’s leadership gone, chipped everyone but Frosta and King Micah, who dosen’t last long, meaning not only do our two remaning heroes BARELY escape, but the horde now has, between both plot lines, four really heavy hitters, as later episodes would bear out that Spinerlla is basically the red tornado when it comes to wind powers. Point is perils is a fun, breather episode... that then turns into a still fun but also heartbreaking episode as our heroes loose and loose bad and their only hope is in our ohter heroes making it back to htem in one piece. 

18. 100% No Stress Day (Close Enough) “Long story short I owe them three grand”  Close Enough.. has not had the easiest existence. It was greenlit in 2017, used it’s pitch reel as the trailer meaning everyone thought it was MUCH farther along, was meant for TBS but got shelved because the show it was to be paired with, The Cops, was created by sexual predator Louis CK. And since he came up and h’es primarily responsible for this show getting shelved for so long... Louis CK is a bastard. He harassed women, literally and metaphorically waved his dick around to show his superiority, knew he could get away with it, and ACTED contrite when caught and rightfuly punished for it by loosing everything.. then has spent the last year or so TRYING to mount a come back, with the help of Dave Chapelle who I lost ALLLLL respect for in recent years, despite not having apologized or done anything that resembles him having actually learned his fucking lesson or tells me that, could he get away with it, he wouldn’t just do it again. I’m taking time out of this unrelated thing ot make sure he does not get ANY power back, as too often preadatory or abusive assholes get away with this and get right back to doing stuff, like say Doug Walker, who I only bring up to remind people he’s a bad person who enabled worst people and abused a lot of innocent critics, and let htem lovingly euologize a man he knew was a preadator in life without telling any of them about said behavior, which he coudl’ve done without outing the victim to the world against her wishes. Because as another episode we’ll get to next time briliantly put it 

But now i’m done reminding people of assholes, I can get back to what’s really important: The fact this show is a goddamn miracle. Not only is it as good as I hoped, which let’s face it in this year it was just as likely the show would be the video equilvent of scabies, but it got RENEWED. Turns out it’s being delayed.. was a blessing in disguise as it sidestepped being part of a failed animation block, and instead go to be the first adult animated show on HBO Max with tons of promotion. And judging by the future lineup of adult animated programming.. it’s probably going to be the ONLY good one for a while as other offering includes the prince, about life with the royal family, and a show about a 12 year old whose constantlly going thorugh trauma because they apparently did not get the irony when watching moral orel and also skipped the entire third season. And possibly got some brain damage I dunno. Hopefully will lead to much better shows down the line and actually gets a second chance at life, and even if it clocks in at only two seasons, it’s still a damn miracle and I will acknolwedge it. 

So yeah as I said the show is fantastic and was one of my faviorites this year. The show treads some familiar terroitory as it does use the formula from Quintel’s “Regular Show”: Normal problems that spiral into bizzare chaos that still has it’s own effed up internal logic. The thing that honestly makes it BETTER in my opinon, is the passage of time. Quintel is no longer the brighted eyed fresh out of college and menial job guy he was: he’s married with a kid, and that fully informed this project, as instead of being about doofing around in your 20′s, it’s about the pressures of hitting your 30′s: from aging to keeping your relationship fresh to all the perils that come with parenting, to missed opportunities you deeply regret. There’s a lot of good stuff they dig into here, but it never overdies the comedy, simply ads a bit of depth to it. And regular show wasn’t LACKING that by any means, i’m not bashing the show.. i’m just saying Close Enough is starting at the level Regular Show was at at it’s best.. and could easily and handily suprasss it with time it now has. 

And I was first given a good and proper introduction via this episode, as it leaked beforehand due to a french animation festival and I couldn’t help reviewing it, as i’d waited quite some time. But honestly while I like the first episode in the all in the show proper, quilty pleasures.. I feel this is a WAY better first episode and shoudl’ve been swapped with Quilty, as it introduces things even better and lets the whole cast shine, and thus is one of two close enough episodes on this list.  The episode starts with Emily, the stable but stressed and anxious half our our main couple at the doctors office where we get a great barrage of jokes off the bat, from the laundry setting a blaze leading to one of the series best lines

Naturally this has lead to her body constnatly sleep fighting .. while she’s awake, so Josh, her husband and loveable doofus, offers to take care of errands so she dosen’t implode from the stress. This also displays one of the series best assets: While Josh and Emily are an optimistic and impulsive idiot and a stressed out, often voice of reason.. they actually LOVE each other. It’s like a far more healthy of early seasons homer and marge, where BOTH get in over their head but  both clearly love and respect each other, and while Josh CAN be irresponsible.. he still holds down a decent job (Though Emily is more of the breadwinner and her job provides the insurance), is attentive to their daughter candace, and WANTS to be repsonsible. Trust me after countless dom coms where i’ve had to restrain from yelling “GET A DIVORCE” at the screen, it’s nice the tide is turning and Bob’s Burgers has become more of the norm couple wise than the exception.  But yeah so the main group splits up: Josh takes candace and his best friend and local weirdo played by Jason Mantzokus every series needs, and easily my favoirite character, Alex to do errands while Bridgette, Alex’s ex husband, Emily���s best friend and both the bbay of the bunch and the most irresponsible one.. gets her high to help her relax. 

Both plots are really great: The boys and candace run into a ham shortage, a joke that actually plays better in the pandemic age, and stripper clowns because in the series best gag so far, Alex explains via flashback he bet them they couldn’t make a dog, and one did so.. using his dick. 

Just in case you were wondering if JG was enjoying the fact he could use adult humor now, though another part of the series charm is while it freely makes more adult jokes, it dosen’t ever get into gross or dudebro territory. It just means the censors are down and they don’t have to hide beer as soda anymore. They also have to tangle with some hamburgalers who are reselling the meat at rock bottom prices and creating the shortage.. and who deny being hamburgalers despite their tactics being backing up into houses with a large van and stealing hams. OUr heros avoid becmonig meat and naturally end up both in a car chase and then a bet for their lives in a game of Ladder World, josh’s latest game.  Meanwhile Emily blazes it and we get a great getting high montage, as it shows BRidgette’s idea does genuinely help a bit.. until they run into Timothy, the teacher at cadance’s school who I hope gets an increased roll as he’s always a delight and this is his best apperance. Depsite the understandable awkwarndess and paranoia of running into your kids teacher while high, being an open minded guy Timothy offers them wine and then weed and even takes Emily punching him when her trip takes a bad turn, giving her a stern but fair “bitch use your words!” before the next seen has him helping her through her issues with some solid advice, allowing her to arrive in home just in time to save her husband and the cave goblin who lives in her house from clown strippers and meat gangsters.. which sounds like one hell of a gay porno. All in all a solid, always hilarous, always charming ep that shows the series off at it’s best. 

17. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales)

“No, no.. Christmas is a SAD story?” 

This is my third and hopefully FINAL time talking about this one, though given it has a high chance of showing up on the series best of list, probably not. Not that I mind, this is a VERY good episode, I just don’t have anytihing new left to say. It’s a heartwarming, fresh, engaging christmas special that uses the characters perfectly and for once actually strips down the cast effectively instead of making you wonder where everyone else is, while still giving everyone an apperance. It also has Webby giving Lena (And Violet) an adorable cheek smooch when delivering her parents and I will never not find that fucking precious. Plus it’s gay as hell with plenty of gay subtext between Scrooge and Santa, a sentence I never thought i’d say but i’m so glad i’ts my job to get to type things like that, and said kiss so that helps. But even besides that it’s just REALLY damn good. Again i’m leaving this short both because i’ve talked about this twice now, once when it came out as I do regularly for ducktales and again for my best christmas specials list, but it’s really that good and made it damn high on my bet christmas specials list and is only so low here.. because despite being a terrible year in every other respect we got some REALLY good episodes this year. So yeah this one’s a classic, I love it but i’m tired of talking about it till at least next december. Moving on. 

16. Finale (E-Turtle Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Shreddy or Not,  Anatawa Hitorijanai, and Rise) Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “Oh and Blue your leader now”  As I mentioned in the intro. Rise of the TMNT was unjustly canceled this year and even worse got it’s season order chopped in half and was given just weeks to throw together a finale. So it’s remakrable that not only was the season pretty damn good, having the series usual problems of sometimes overdipping into the boys stupidity hence the episode where everyone but Raph keeps eating poison, but also had both great character arcs in Baron Draxum’s reformation and Splinter getting more and more fleshed out and more screne time, and great laughs. Seriously Clothes Don’t Make The Turtle, aka that episode where our heroes end up trapped in an 80′s dress up montage, BARELY didn’t make the list. 

And as a longtime fan of the franchise I couldn’t be happier this fresh take, which I was aprhensive about at first because it looked like yet another dumbed down teen titans go ripoff, and given it was dumb to begin with... but instead was a fun action comedy with a lot of really unique and intresting ideas. And despite the rush to finish.. they delivered one hell of a finale and on the high chance season 3 dosen’t happen... it’s a hell of a note to go out on.  First things first: yes i’m counting multi parters as one episode. Not more seralized shows like SU Future or Infinity Train, where events can flow in and out, but stories that are clearly one big story, in pieces like the old days. Since hour long episodes of shows are fair game, I felt it only fair that multi parters around the same length as an hourlong special be given the same treatment. Not that any hourlongs made it this year, sorry fans of Obsidian and “Let’s Get Dangerous”, though both are throughly EXCELLENT episodes this was just a tight list. 

Okay good. So yeah the finale, split over four episodes, is an epic: taking plot threads from all season and series and weaving them into a well paced, emotoinal, finale. Like previous more serious episode the comedy’s downplayed.. but it doesen’t feel like an entirley diffrent show and works well, and the always great fluid animation was kicked up to 11 for this one.  So to make a long story short: in this series shredder is a demonic set of armor, but came back wrong at the end of last season when the food clan revivied him, so while the clan now has him back, they can’t really use him. And current head Foot Recurit, a spunky foot recruit whose failed to rank up despite being tough and ambitious and worthy of it, is at a loss how to reviive her master.  The turltes, naturally, end up accidently blundering into the solution as they head into Splinter’s head to find the info to beat Shredder. The show gives splinter easily one of , if not the best, backstories he’s ever had: While at the start the character was highly annoying, being a lazy asshole who didn’t train the boys and did nothing.. the show eventually give us valid reasons WHY he’s like this: he didn’t like being turned into a rat by big bad of season 1 Baron Draxum and thus has depresion over that, had quit fighting since he’d been forced to be a cage fighter by his ex for a while,  his ex being a giant spider just in case you thought this would be remotely normal an forgot what show we were talking about and genrally just had no horse in the tight training he usually does in most continuties. 

This episode adds another, heartbreaking lair: We find out back when he was Hamato Yoshi, Splinter’s mom left to ward off shredder when he was a boy.. and thus never came back and presumibly died. Understandably he had no time for the clan at that point, constantly defying his grandfather.. and why should he have time for them? They took his mom away for a thankless duty sacrificing herself to stop something he had no way of knowing was real, another reason he never trained the boys. And his grandfather rather than be AT all apologetic clearly, via his actions, thought of this as some great honor and was baffled why Yoshi would have no intrest in repeating his mother’s actions or have any sense of honor, duty or even love for a man who as far as he could tell, threw his mom to the wolves and had no regrets about it. So we see Yoshi as both a rebellious teen and as a movie star throwing out his grandpa.. we see those in reverse of course, but the later scenes give context to those showing why Yoshi was so rude.. because he lost his mom and it still hurts him.  HOwever helping her frees the shredder.. but also Karai who bizarely, in this continuity is not only an aincent ancestor of theres but a firm ally instead of either a deadly enemy or a fremeny of sorts. Or Splinter’s dang daughter, one of 2012′s best plot elements.. that was then wasted by turning her into a snek for a while because that show really went off the rails. So it quickly turns from a heartwarming and awkard family reunion.. to our heroes and karai barely escaping with their lives as shredder demolishes the lair, and Draxum, now a good guy after a season’s worth of wonderful chracter development, and Splinter stay behind, with Draxum cleverly bluffing and pretending ot be evil again.. only to try and take out shredder. 

Meanwhile we get this series take on “the turtles going to teh woods to retreat” as Raph beats himself up for being a bad leader and our heroes learn to tap into their hamato nimpo.. which basically means super magic ninja powers which allows them to bring back their classic weapons and enhances their magic, as it was never in teh weapons but in them all along. Also April gets Karai in her, phrasing, and a glowing boost to her bat.  The result.. is one of the best fights of both the year and the franchise PERIOD, which is what got me to catch up to see the finale because I saw a fan video synching it up to “Spin and Burst”.. and while not a naruto fan.. that song is fucking awesome and that video showed off an utterly marvelous fight. See for yourself

Seriously I wasn’t kidding. I’ve been a fan of this franchise since 2003. This is one of the best sequences in it’s history with or without the added soundtrack: The fighting is fast, frentic, beautfully animated and cool to watch and perfectly combines the series humor, with our heroes giving out quips and callbacks at the right times, with it’s fast paced and wonderous action. It also shows how far our heroes have come: while PART of it is them having super mystic powers unlocked.. they both had to work to reach those powers, and spirtually rather than phsycially,in the third part, but each power is merly an upgraded versoin of their old weapon powers, ablities they’ve spent the entire series mastering, paticuarlly leo who went from BARELY being able to work his portals to using teleport spam here. While they did pull a power BOOST out of their ass, it would’ve meant nothing had they not been anymore skileld than when they started and it makes the fight feel rewarding and impactful. And it ends with the hamot clan as a whole, with new ally foot recurit aka cassandra jones ina great last minute reveal that they CLEARLY didn’t have time to build up better, and smoke that bitch. Also Leo’s leader now bye. It’s just a damn good finale and I dind’t even get into all the great character stuff, including the great payoff of Casey’s face turn after seeing just how much of a monster the man she always wanted to serve is, and how he’s hurting Splinter, who ACTUALLY cares about her well being despite being an enemy. It’s just good stuff that fits the franchise like a glove but iwth the series own unique stamp on it. Nuff said. 

15. Toadcatcher (Amphibia)  “Your not upset because you lost the fight, your upset because you lost your friend! Your upset that Anne stood up to you and things between you will never be the same again.”  Amphibia was one of the first shows I covered reguarlly and along with Ducktales one of the most popular.. so yeah it’s weird it not only is low on the list, but this is the only represtintive. But this was a high volume year for quality and while the show had other standout episodes like gravity falls tribute “Wax Museum”, Marcy’s introduction “Marcy at the Gates” and noir patische “Little Frogtown”, as this list already shows it was a really tight race. It dosen’t help that while Season 2 isn’t terrible.. it’s a bit more uneven, and unlike season 1 it’s weaker stretches of episodes weren’t as easily covered, as instead of airing every weekday, it was a weekly release. Which I prefer, as it means they aren’t being dumped out en masse and are given room to breathe and the passage of time feels more warranted when it’s spread out over a few months intead of a few weeks. It just meant the weaker episodes stood out more and drained on me more.. but it also meant the stronger ones were all the more a breath of fresh air. And nowhere was this more apparent as teh worst episode of the season, and series, thus far, Quarallers Pass.. was paired with Toadcatcher, an utterly marvelous episode and followup to ironically the series best so far, Reunion. 

This episode catches us up with Sasha, Anne’s former best friend who tried to kill her in a sword fight, one where the entirety of wartwood including her adopted grandpa was at sake and Sasha knew this and did not care. She then followed it up by letting go when Anne was depseratley holding on, with the help of her new family, to save Sashsa’s life.. and Sasha let go. I discussed the full implications in the review so I will avoid trigggering anyone, and I mean tha tin the medical sense anyone using it ironiclaly or to mock people using it as it’s intended can get fucked, but she clearly didn’t intend to make it, but Grime saved her and spirted her off.  So we catch up with both licking their wounds from the ordeal: Sasha has decided to take the Jasper route of horrible coping mechanisms and is training constnatly, readily kiling dolls of the plantars but still unable to truly hurt Anne, burying her feelings over her guilt and her best friend rightfully turning on her and then trying to save her anyway despite Sasha trying to gut her. Grime.. is binging on the wonderfully terrible teen soap Supscion Island, coming back this january on the cw, that was intorduced last season and generally not carring the king has his best men, women and nonbinary folks out for his head. 

So both issues come to a head as General Yuaan, scourge of the Sand Wars, defeater of Ragnar the Wretched, and the youngest newt to ever achieve the rank of general in the great Newtopian Army, and she’ll never miss a chance to say that, has come for Grime whose in no condition and has no will to fight back. He also finally confronts Sasha when she snaps at him for it, pointing out she’s simply burying the fact that she lost Anne, things won’t be the same, and she won’t deal with it.  The episode adds real depth to grime, going from an intresting but semeingly just evil overlord.. to someone who worked his way out of a fighting pit to be given a thankfless if cushy job by the same people who threw him in in the first place, someone who to my shock at the time.. CARES about his protege. While allowing Sasha in was simply to their mutual advantage at first.. he’s grown to genuinely care about her as his friend and offers to let Yuaan have him so she can be free. but Sasha refuses. Despite her issues.. she CARES about the old toad and together, and using Yaan’s ham against her, they beat her, and decide to rebuild their army... after Grime finishes his soaps of course. Can.. relate. A thorughly good, throughly emotinally episode that dosen’t lack the series humor but does have a depth and rhthym to it that the series has at i’ts best. 

14. Quack Pack! (Ducktales)  Jesus I was so tired when making this I nearly forgot an entry. And shame on me as this was one of the best episodes of an already amazing Season. Season 3 is easily ducktales best and i’ve been proud to cover it. It’s been my most popular feature and while not every episodes been GREAT, only one’s really not been very good, and none have been out and out bad. While it may be the end of the shows run and not without problems, they still have trouble ballancing the adults at times if not nearly as bad as before, to the point Launchpad just sorta vanishes after Let’s Get Dangerous outside of the Christmas Specail that takes place before the season anyway, and Louie is often written VERY badly.. but i’ve talked about these things all season in my reviews.

Point is those faults are overwhelmed by the strengths; The character ballance is better, several side characters have gotten tons of payoff to their arcs and more development, and the main plot is easily the best in the series history: By having essentially one main plot with two focuses, before they merge at the halfway marker, it allows the season to be far more streamlined after the really messy way season 2′s plots were handled. It just shows the show at it’s best and has produced amazing episode after amazing episode and it was really hard to widdle it down to the ones that got selected here and even then one got left out. 

But one boost I haven’t mentioned is their wilingness to take risk. While past seasons had flashback episodes and what not this one, in hindsight, has some of the more risky episodes of the series, ones you really COULDN’T do in seasons 1 and 2: a whole episode flashback to the twins, basically taking our present day kids out for the whole season, an hour long special focusing on what, to fans not familiar with darkwing duck, is simply a very engaging side character and his new sidekick.. and launchpad (The ducks aren’t OUT of the special, but they aren’t the focus and aren’t around for most of the climax). An episode with really dark emotional moments.. which isn’t unsuaul for a disney show, see next time, but for one so close to their chest it was a lot. They were settled in enough to take plenty of risks and it’s paid off. It’s not to community levels of experimentation, but it’s still nice, intresting breaks from the usual adventures. 

And one of the best and boldest of these was Quack Pack. Taking our heroes and plopping them into a TGIF sitcom. Of which this plot not only happened TWICE this year, three times if you count the entirety of beef house, which I do so let’s call it three, but both cartoon examples are on this list. But both tackle it in diffrent and intresting ways so both got on here.  IN this case.. during a stock plot about a family photo, complete with Donald having his Don Cheadle voice back, we get some great parodies of convetions of les.s. good sitcomes nad even some of the greats: there’s the constnat catcphrases (ranging from a sticomy version of Della’s “On the moon”, to Beakly’s “I’m not a spy.. which sh’es understandably inscnesed to find out is her catchphrase) ,and even the wacky neighbor with our lord and savior Goofy showing up in the roll, as a nice nod to the more sitcom side of the Disney Afternoon. We just get a lot of good gags.. until Huey becomes aware, starting to realize things are off, with his guidebook being empty and things just not adding up. We even get a great bit of him being forced to do a disney channel/that 70′s show dance transtion only to react with exesntial horror.  Naturally, given their lives,a  genie did it, Gene, played by Jaleel White in a pefect bit of casting. Having been imprisoned in his lamp since the 90′s. Gene’s a bit behind on how sticoms work, but was just granting a wish, Donald’s wish, which the family figures out by trigggiring a flashback, Goofy VERY MUCH included. where we find out it was, unsuprisngly Donald’s fault.. though in his defense, and in the best line of the episode, when confronted about wishing for a normal life “I wish for that 30 times a day. How was I supposed to know a lamp was under me this time?”

And we find out why and it’s heartbreaking: Donald just wants a normal family, where everyone’s safe and, most tellningly “No one gets lost.”. It’s the climax of a series long HATRED of going on these adventures. For everyone else it’s fun, thriling, good stuff.. to him.. it’s not only a reminder of what cost him 10 years with his sister and his adopted sons their mom for that time, but a reminder of a lot of pain and humilation. To him he just wants the normal life he used to have back, despite that not being an option and his kids to be safe and his sister not to leave again. Granted his refusal to undo the wish is selfish.. but i’ts understandable. And while the rest of them try to break the wish, and end up fighting the horrifying audience it’s GOOFY who gets donald to see all families are diffrent and that there is no normal: just what you make and enjoy. It makes donald realize that as hectic as his life is.. it’s his life, his family.. and maybe. it’s not so bad. After years of denying how much he used to love adventuering.. he realizes part of him stilld oes and no amount of turning against it will fix what he lost... he just has to enjoy NOW. It’s good solid character development for my favioriote member of the cast, and overall a fun, genre spoofing episode that pokes fun at the genre but reallyg ets how it works. 

13. Growing Pains (Steven Universe Future)

“ What do I do? How do I move on from all the stuff I've been through? How do I live life if it always feels like I'm about to die?! “ So yeah big recap of steven’s emotional well being to get into future earlier, but rewinding a bit, this one takes place with our hero at a low point. Not “oh god I comitted murder what am I now oh god” low as we got to earlier and the series itself wold get to later, these lists make time warped and space bendeble, but still pretty damn bad.  As mentioned before Steven tried proposing to connie, not helped by Ruby and Sapphire both being fully on board, as both are hopeless romantics seprate but when combined as a Garnet their shared braincell can get working properly and has settings other than “emotoinal pain, peppy (ruby), a bit distant but kind (Sapphire) and horny”. While it was as beautiful a propsal as you’d expect from Steven.. Connie gently rejected it since you know, he also wanted to be permafused and their not even legal marrying age left. He’s 17.. despite what this episode claims. She’s 15 or 16. They aren’t ready and she knew it not even ruling it out entirely, just saying “not now”.  But as this episode bears out.. Steven really isn’t an emotinal state where he could properly process that way and after shooing her away, even though she WANTED to talk it over and genuiely make sure he was okay as she damn well knew this wasn’t easy on him, but also knew it’d probably be bad to press him while he was clearly in pain. So like everyone else she made the mistake of leaving.  So Steven’s binging on junk food, and bemoaning the fact that even dogcopter is getting married.. also Dogcopter is gay. Given the show he’s a fictional character in, you THINK i’d of been less suprised but you’d be wrong. Point is steven isn’t dealing well and is going pink and with the gems gone for the weekend, and Greg unavaliable due to being busy as a manager, Steven is getting worse and his body is starting to warp. Thanfkully connie comes to check up on him and insits he see a doctor.. and since her mother’s a doctor and thankfully had a cancelation. Unthankfully it turns out, to Prianka’s understandable frustration.. Steven’s never been to a doctor. Which does make sense, Greg taking him in might’ve alreted authorties to his lack of schooling or his injuries from age 13 onward, plus he had no idea of knowing how his body would react to tests. That being said given by this point in the series Gems are well accepted and known around town and everyone loves and adores steven, Greg had no real excuse by this age especially after the second gem war.  And that’s proven by the fact it turns out steven’s body has tons of internal scars which, due to him turning out to have a wolverine style healing factor, mean h’es alive and without brain damage, but still has plenty of internal scars. It’s a godo metaphor for his mental trauma: he came out of his various happenings ALIVE.. but not mentally okay and with PLENTY of ptsd. When Prianka asks him to list his traumas.. he dosen’t even get past season 1 before she’s understandably horrified, though she’s figured out exactly what’s causing his pink mode: as mentioned before his contstant life of danger and having the threat of a fight at any moment over his head for 2 solid years, maybe 3 given the third light game shows he still had a lot of work to do before the movie and future, and honestly still does at times during both, mean his flight or fight response has been shot so the adrenline charged pink form, meant to protect him from danger.. is triggering for EMOTIONAL pain and suffering. 

Steven dosen’t take it well and keeps enlarging when pressed.. and accidently spills the beans about the proposal... and understandably, even if she was FULLY in the right can’t be around Connie: while she had every right to reject him, it dosen’t mean it hurts any less. Sometimes even when you do the absolute right thing.. it can still hurt to be on the receiving end of that. But Connie is still Connie, aka the most emotinally  stable and mature person in the main cast very much including the sentient space rocks who are centuries older than her, so she called Greg who naturally dropped everything because his son needed him. It shows the genuine conflict, one, again that I’ve grappled with: Steven is so obssed with not boterhing those he loves, he fails to see they’ll help him when he needs it without a second thought. So Greg thankfully calms him down and taks over the failed proposal with no judgement or anything just support. Sadly things go downhill from here but it’s a good episode that turns the entire series on it’s head with some damn good character work. 

12. Annhilation of Joy (The Midnight Gospel) 

“Again? How Many times is this guy gonna die?” “Until he learns”  The Midnight Gospel was a plesant suprise. Penndelton Ward’s return to animation after leaving Adventure Time, the show is a collberation between him and podcaster Duncan Trussel. It was a suprise both in how quickly it came together, and in how it’s real nature wasn’t properly expressed in the trailers: while the series does tell us the trippy adventures of Clancy, a 40 something “Spacecaster” who uses an illegal simulator to visit worlds to interview various people.. said interviews are expercts from Trusseul’s own podcast, the Duncan Trussel Family Hour, something this series has badly made me want to listen to. As such while dealing with zombie apocalypses, a quest to avenge a dead lover, being processed as meat and meeting death herself while looking for his hose, Clancy interviews his subjects, including Death herself, and talks on various subjects related to medation and spirutality, throughly fascenating interviews greatly woven into trippy visuals. Hopefully the show will be back for round 2 at some point as both Ward and Trussel are game, but for now the first season stands on it’s own as a throughly trippy, throughly wonderful blend of Trussel’s words and insight and Ward’s boundless imagination.  And the best of these, narrowly beating out the final epsiode which uses an interview with Truseel’s late mother to inform clancy’s own actions, as Clancy’s Mom is dying from cancer same as Trussels tragically did. But I like this one slightly better due to it’s great blend of the subject with the plot. Once again Clancy is ignoring his pain, and his sister’s calls, by diving into the space vagina of his simulator, taking a weird form, and easily my faviorite of his shapeshifted forms of the season: a living rainbow that wouldn’t be out of palce in a pbs kids show, complete with the fact he makes musuical chimes when touched not unlike a children’s toy and has chosen this form to enter the simulator’s jail.  It’s there he gets engagled, literally, with Bob and Jason. Bob is an angry, upset prisoner who chewed his own tounge out years ago, and Jason is his soul bird, a represntation of his pain bound to him by blue rope that Clancy got tangled in. So Clancy is taken along for the ride with them as every time Bob dies, the celestial beings in charge of the prison put him through weird emtional torment, pluck out his heard and weigh it against  a feather plucked from jason. 

Thus while Clancy and Jason have a spirited conversation about Buddishm and about not treaing spirutality like a game with levels and having to earn progress but as an emotinal journey, Bob goes through a buddishm inspried journey of his own, mixed with a bit of edge of tommorow. He dies, gets tourtured then resets.. but slowly learns to empathize, to let go of his anger and violence and help those around him. It’s an utterly mesmering journey to watch this angry green big headed man go from a violet convict who will gladly shoot and stab.. to a pacfisit eager to help those around him. And it’s thorughly convincing and backed wonderfully by the interview and easily a sign of what this weird and unconveintonal series can do at all cyllnders. Seriously Netflix you’ve been on a loosing streak decisionmaking wise. Make. More. Of. This. 

11. Save the Cat (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) "C'mon Catra. You're not done. Not yet..."

God that image is unsettling. Anywho back to She-Ra, and somehow this is the second time i’ve had to rewind the progress of a season by about an episoide. Weird. Point is saved the cat is one of the most tightly packed and thrilling episodes of the series.. and the crux of Catra’s character arc.  Before this Catra had hit her lowest point, having lost ..j well everything. She pushed everyone from adora, to the nonambigiously a couple trio, to her own best friends away through her shitty behavior and inferoirty complex and somenoe she THOUGHT was her friend.. turned on her for money. Oh and as an added stomp on the tail all that betryal, all the blood spilled in her name.. was for nothing. Horde Prime made her irrelvant: she couldnt’ manipualte him because a combination of a god complex and an army of loyal drones meant he had nothing to hide and eyes everywhere. She had nothing. Eveyrthing she did every sacrifice she made every worse and worse turn she made a s a person... amounted to NOTHING.  So it was at this point she and glimmer, despite you know killing Glimmer’s mother, were forced to work together.. and Catra sacrificed herself both to get Glimmer safe and because for once.. she wanted to do something right. Her self loathing, some of it warranted, a lot of it already there from an abusive childhood, left her with one option: sacrifice herself and HOPE, something good can come of it, Apologize to Adora, hte one person she ever loved and hope she can at least surivive this.  Naturally, Adora having seen her friend/love of her life has not only REALIZED what she become, but sacrifice herself.. isn’t having this, and after an episode of repairs both on the ship and emotinally, our heroes are naturally, despite any personal hangups with her ready to save Catra. Naturally this hits snags. On Bow and Entrapta’s end, they accidently free a horde clone she mistakes for hordak and, having no other real option and with the guy being useful, Wrong Hordak is born! I love me some Wrong Hordak. What a guy, makes you cry, und I did. 

The main issue though is Adora let herslef be captured.. only to find Horde Prime is a sadstic bastard and has not only chipped Catra, but is using her newfound peace of mind to play with adora’s head, using Catra’s heartbreak from the past to manipulate Adora in the present.. and force them to fight because hey he’s a sadistic jackass with a god complex. They make their own fun.  But Adora gets through to her .. only for Prime to decide fuck it and try killing her with Adora BARELY saving her with her power, and Catra, as she fades, wondering why Adora even bothered. And the why is simple.. as a wise fictional version of a wise president once said “Dying is easy young man, living is harder”. Not the last time that quote will be relevant in this top 20 list, but the point, and it was delebrate on Noelle Stevenon’s part, was to subvert this kind of thing> The bad guy gets redemption but then dies seconds later. Instead.. Catra has to LIVE with what she did and make up for it, become a better person and work for redepmtion, instead of just getting to end in some big blaze of glory. But at the same time.. it’s the better route. The harder one sure.. but she gets to have a life and to undo the damage and maybe for once.. actually live instead of just trying to surivive. IT was the right call in a series full of them. 

But yeah the day is saved, our heroes have two new roomates and Catra weakly greats Adora.. but with genuine warmth for the first time in .. years I guess? I don’t know this series time span. Point is the healing and the ship tease for our finale can begin and this episode is a tense, well put together masterwork. The pacing really is what put it up this far, as it really ratchets up the tension, and being the last season, meant there was no guarantee anyone, including catra, was going to make it. Excellent stuff all around. 

So that’s where we leave off for now. i’ll be PUTTING PART 2 HERE WITH A LINK. once i’ts finished For now watch this space and..