#Helen doesn’t even deny it tbh

[bl00dy-pa1nt3r]

𝗧𝗼𝗯𝘆: *Walks into 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻’𝘀 art room* Hey Painter, I have a question.

𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻: *Painting* Ask.

𝗧𝗼𝗯𝘆: I know you like 𝗗𝗶𝗻𝗮

𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻: That’s not a question.

𝗧𝗼𝗯𝘆: You didn’t deny it.

𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻:

𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗻: Get the fuck out.

[caneannabelle]

ok hi guys. it’s been a while. i wrote this analysis back when Mag 187 aka Checking Out aka The One Where Helen Dies first came out and literally ever since i’ve posted it i’ve wanted to redo it because it feels. lacking. listen if there’s one thing i hate it’s incomplete media analysis and i must right my wrongs lest i be forced to look upon myself and crumble from within. that being said, i’ve been putting off this rewrite for a long long time bc Life Gets Weird. tldr this was written over the course of several months so i apologize for inconsistent quality. anyways let’s get into it!

part one: recap!

it’s been a while! let’s just go over what happened. the scene i wanna focus on in particular is this one:

VICTIM

You’ve got to help me!

ARCHIVIST

[Angrily] Don’t touch me!

[THE ARCHIVIST PULLS AWAY, AS THE VICTIM FALLS AND IS CRYING]

HELEN

Oopsie. Not so easy, is it? Keeping up your humanity?

(187).

that being said i’m gonna be kind of all over the place but! i do think that’s a good jumping off point.

part two (part one): disparaging everyone’s problematic fav

in my original post my point was that in reflexively reacting to a victim with disgust and anger jon inadvertently reveals the nature of his dedication to helping victims as ego driven, especially because this line is directly preceded by him asserting his moral high ground over helen as being a “protector” as opposed to her indulgence in destruction. what i’m saying is homeboy has a savior complex. honestly there’s a lot of evidence to support that claim but i think the most obvious example would be jordan kennedy. like.

JORDAN

…Yeah. But wrong. Sick.

What did you do to me?

ARCHIVIST

I helped you.

JORDAN

Helped me? I don’t feel right, I, I just – Ah! No I don’t – argh! I don’t want this!

(184). to be clear it’s an action with a good intent! he just wants to help someone who once helped him! BUT it also demonstrates a lack of conscious empathy. i feel like i don’t have to argue this since jordan Literally vocally said he didn’t want this several times throughout the scene but the point remains that while jon’s intent is good the actual application of his saviourism removes the autonomy of those he affects. i’m not gonna touch on the “is it objectively immoral to become an oppressor for the sake of self preservation while existing within an extreme system in which all are oppressed regardless of your individual status” query mostly because i do not have the brainpower available rn to come to my own conclusion about systems of power and the way they’re represented in tma (which is a whole other rant tbh) but jon DOES rob jordan of the ability to come to his own conclusion in this debate and make his own choice, thereby removing his autonomy. you know. autonomy. free will. the thing that is central to jon’s internal conflicts. huh.

anyways i NEED to stress that i’m not saying that he’s the same as jonah or the web or even annabelle (although annabelle is a victim. no i don’t take constructive criticism). i just want to point out that his actions reflect a lack of understanding. while he’s able to empathize with the pain others experience and is eternally hyper- aware of it he is unable to view that pain through any lense besides his own and uses it in his cycle of self pity and blame, minimizing it at any point possible in the quickest way and Not prioritizing the wishes of the victim but instead the efficiency in decreasing his own guilt. anyways back to 187- both the victim and jordan are treated as props by jon (and helen) and once they serve their purpose in reaffirming the two’s sense of self are cast aside and ignored. ok from here i’m gonna get conceptual and self indulgent bc it’s my analysis and i get to bring up vague convoluted philosophy.

part two (part two): part two

let’s talk about the distortion for a sec. i refuse to believe helen and michael were both completely gone and it was just the distortion piloting their visage, mostly because… like that’s not what the text would indicate

HELEN

Michael isn’t me. Not now.

ARCHIVIST

What happened?

HELEN

He got… distracted. Let feelings that shouldn’t have been his overwhelm me.

Lost my way.

(101). it’s heavily implied that there was SOME remainder of michael in there, even if the being wasn’t him. maybe i’m way off base here but the way i interpreted the implosion of michael was that it was driven by his inability to maintain the repressed resentment and anger he had for gertrude. like it’s pretty clear that some warped version of michael’s feelings were trapped inside of the distortion and i’d go as far as to say that they were integral to his formation as it. i’m gonna operate on the assumption that michael and helen are two separate beings here for a sec even though we know they’re not. As opposed to michael’s resentment for the archivist, helen actively sought refuge in the institute and from the small amount we saw of her Pre-Distortion it seems like her paranoia is internally directed. i think you could even say that while michael was caught in an eternal battle with the concept of connection, helen is caught in a battle with the concept of self. the point is that she thinks of jon in a less “The Archivist” sense and more as just That Guy who she had an intense connection with that one time.

ARCHIVIST

So… S-so what do you want?

HELEN

I don’t know. Helen liked you, so… there’s a lot to consider. But I will help you leave.

(101). i would also like to point out that helen’s emergence as the distortion coincides with jon coming to terms with his identity as the archivist. parallels, baby! SO helen is a newly formed being that is grappling with the concept of her own existence and jon is reevaluating his understanding of identity as he comes to terms with the fact that he is turning into the thing he’s fighting against and this is all happening at the same time. live laugh love. stay with me here, i promise i’ll get back to 187. Throughout seasons 4 and 5 helen attempts to validate her own moral decisions via jon who she once saw herself in. conversely, jon sees both an image of what he could become AND arguably a representation of his past failure in her.

ARCHIVIST

It did. I think… I mean, you remember how I was back then, how paranoid. The Not!Sasha was there, and I could sense something wasn’t right, but I just couldn’t place it. It left me a suspicious wreck. Then when Helen Richardson came in, it seemed like… she was in the same place I was, but worse, further along. I thought, maybe if I could help her, that would mean… maybe I wasn’t beyond help?

(188). helen and jon lie at opposite ends of the same spectrum. both of them derive pleasure from the suffering of others

HELEN

Oh, John! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it.

ARCHIVIST

[Sadly] I know.

(187). needless to say that a LOT of jon's arc and the themes surrounding him focus on the concept of autonomy and addiction and i think it'd be fair to say that this component is an aspect of that. repressing these qualities is both a way of reaffirming his control and also just.. him trying to be what he perceives as Good, and season 5 is the point at which this comes to the forefront of his character- particularly the line between what is intrinsic and what he truly has control over. a battle of the concept of the self, if you will. while the two share similar traits, jon is intensely moralistic while helen indulges in a twisted sense of hedonism and both are fueled by an inability to expand their viewpoint. helen fully immerses herself within these qualities and intentionally blinds herself to any concepts of morality (indulgence), and jon actively pushes back on this as hard as he can and follows black and white moral framework (repression). this means that in order for their relationship to function he must either accept her, choosing to let go in his personal battle with autonomy OR she must break out of her worldview and conform to standards of human morality which goes against her own nature.

part three: questions i do not have the answer to

so. what does it all mean. WELL. 187 is the boiling point of all this tension. we know that helen relies on jon to validate her sense of self and we know that jon sees himself in helen, both past and present

HELEN

But that doesn’t make any sense. You barely met her. You had half an hour together, and she spent most of that ranting about mazes! She was positively delirious with paranoia!

ARCHIVIST

True. But as you’ll recall, I was pretty paranoid myself at that point.

HELEN

So what? You saw yourself in her? A sad reflection? A possible future?

(187). I’d argue that 187 is demonstrative of jon’s inability to either fall into complete indulgence in intrinsic values that lack moral validity vs. maintain and image of self that does not conflict with the values he attempts to uphold in order to find internal satisfaction and yes both of those concepts are inherently egocentric as he bases his moral judgement on what he can justify to himself instead of what can be calculated via empathy. however. paired with the alternative (helen). is that BAD. is it inherently selfish to do what you perceive as good in order to feed your own savior complex? and if so, is it inherently selfish to indulge in destructive qualities as to not delude yourself? is honesty vs deception a black and white question? if not, where does helen even fall? in not deluding herself does she achieve a moral high ground? IS she deluding herself by denying the potential to be facetiously benevolent at the detriment of both her personal enjoyment and her honesty? does helen even posses the capability to repress her violent qualities? if she doesn't, does she have any autonomy? if she and jon are both inherently selfish and intentionally resistant to introspection, what makes them different? i do not have answers but i do think the text is meant to invoke these questions. i mean,

MICHAEL (STATEMENT)

There was a great evil, she said, and Michael was going to help her fight it. Am I evil, Archivist? Is a thing evil when it simply obeys its own nature? When it embodies its nature? When that nature is created by those which revile it? Perhaps Gertrude believed so. Michael certainly did. He believed everything she told him.

(101).

part 5: conclusion

so once again. what does it all mean. well! even post helen’s death jon continues to fight for autonomy and preserve his moral worldview so. i think that probably indicates something good.

MARTIN

Huh. She couldn’t help what she was, I guess.

ARCHIVIST

She didn’t even try.

(188). i honestly don’t have a thesis i just find it incredibly interesting how the themes surrounding these two intersect and play off of each other. anyways looping back to 187 i do think in a broad sense jon killing helen is representative of him choosing to stick by his convictions and keep fighting. i don’t have any good way to end this but thanks for sticking around during my self indulgent rambling!

[electricrogue]

Get to know me

I was tagged by @trickster-archangel , thank you !

Three ships: So I have two ship settings basically XD. Either two geniuses who would die for each other or sunshine girlfriend/goth girlfriend that may or may have not tried to kill each other at some point XD. So basically, Helen/Nikola from Sanctuary because duh do I really need to elaborate on that? Sergio/Raquel from La Casa de Papel (I know you have a lot of things to do and they are a liiiiitle bit problematic but I mean they got to the point in which he went like “You’re the sexiest woman in the world but I love you for your brain” so yeah XD. Maybe when you get more time XD). Aaaand also Kara/Lena from Supergirl because that is still a ship despite what CW are trying to make us believe 😡)

Last song: Freedom – The Wolves Within by Epica. Just leaving my player on shuffle so yeah this is what came in line. But it’s a nice song XD.

Last movie: pfftt XD. I mostly watch TV-shows lately tbh. So I honestly don’t remember XD.

Currently reading: Nothing again XD. Don’t have too much free time lately sadly XD.

Currently watching: Supergirl on a weekly basis. Other than that? I just finished Lucifer (boy that hurt XD) and I am waiting for next season of You.

Currently consuming: a cherry yogurt XD.

Currently craving: To be inside a theatre somewhere in the world, in complete darkness and kinda complete silence until you get your mind completely blown by what is going on on stage. And no, this doesn’t mean Jon before you ask XD. I mean not necessarily though I’m not denying it would be one hell of a bonus, but… I kinda need a miracle at the moment to even go and see Revisor next year so I’m keeping a realistic amount of hope but not more than that XD.

Tagging @teslacriss, @thegirlbehindthegasmask, @juskru , @tinknevertalks, @black-arcana and whoever else wants to do it 😁

[erazonpo3]

Why does Lio have parent issues?

tbh her issues are rather more moderate and domestic than everyone else’s but I think they’re still worth mentioning because my ideas for a Cassandra’s Tangled Adventure spinoff has a lot to do with trauma and the way it impacts different people, the way it looks for people on both sides etc. I think I’ve got a good opportunity with Ilione to talk about the phenomenon of intergenerational and inherited trauma when you consider just who her grandmother was (and how that connects with Cass), so her parent issues are more like a slice of communication issues with a whole lot of Gothel baggage 

So Lio’s mother (who I’ve named Helen) is one of Cassandra’s half siblings, and was ‘raised’ by Gothel for fourteen years until she struck out on her own and lived off of shitty apprenticeship wages. She carries a lot of her own trauma for having a few near-death experiences as a result of Gothel’s negligence, and a natural resentment for a shitty parent and the shitty life she lived until she was able to find stability. Good things eventually come to her in the form of a strong marriage, a healthy child, and a home with a small orchard/farm where she can make a living through agricultural products, and naturally she’s very edgy about the status quo changing. 

But then there’s Ilione, her one and only daughter who she loves very dearly. Helen’s way of compensating for her mother’s shitty parenting is to be overprotective and stifling, because she’s still impacted by that trauma of negligence and in her eyes the most loving thing she can do is to keep Lio in a bubble and safe from harm at all times. Adventurous, extraverted Lio doesn’t jive with this a whole lot. She rebels by sneaking out and getting into unsupervised shenanigans which sometimes have some pretty disastrous consequences, and in the past she’s largely carried that on her own because she isn’t sure that she can talk to her mother about the shit that went down while she was actively disobeying her. 

So the intergenerational trauma looks like a progression of: Gothel is a shitty and neglectful mother > Helen is overprotective as an expression of love > Ilione rebels for a taste of freedom but lacks a safety net

This also takes form in Helen failing to understand why Lio would ever want to leave the safety of home to go travel the world and live a rougher lifestyle, because she lived that way when she was a teenager and can’t understand why anyone would want to live like that. Lio appreciates that her mother wants to basically provide for her for the rest of her life, but she feels like a pretty stunted adult because she doesn’t know what independence feels like. So much of it is communication issues, but the root of it is a lot of unresolved Gothel stuff. 

Secondary is the inherited trauma, which isn’t as deep on a character level but looks like: Gothel is a near caricature of vanity and naturally Helen picks up a lot of body image issues, and it follows that Ilione inherits that as well. It’s kind of a well known phenomenon that mothers can easily pass down body image issues to their daughters because when you stress about your body, you’re teaching your kid that they ought to be stressing about their body, so it’s kind of a no-brainer why Lio still has echoes of that. 

I think this also has relevance to Cass because meeting her half-siblings is kind of her first support group for people who have dealt with that kind of parental abuse and have struggled a lot with that in some very unhealthy and harmful ways before being able to find their feet and leading normal lives, but it’s also something you ever stop having to work on. And Lio is probably very hesitant at first to share these issues because she doesn’t want to give Cass the impression that being Gothel’s daughter is something that dooms you to being a bad parent, but there’s kind of no denying that yes, she’s probably destined to hurt someone- perhaps even a hypothetical child- again because of the trauma she carries.

The final takeaway however is that that’s true of everyone. Humans are flawed and complicated and one human trying to raise another is inevitably going to get messy at some point, it doesn’t matter what kind of baggage you bring with you so long as you try your hardest not to let that influence your parenting and if it does cause harm, own up to it and work on repairing it. And in the end Lio and Cass have a lot to bond over less about Gothel but about her mother and Cap, and it’s refreshing for them both to be able to talk about it. 

[skrrt-skrrt-cp]

how to know a pasta enjoys your company/likes you (platonic or crush works!)?

I’ll do crush, just for the fluff since people really like to see these killers as lovable sometimes! I don’t blame ‘em tbh

(Also holy hhhhhecc I went to a different app and tumblr decided to get rid of my writing when I had three pastas done smh)

——————

Slenderman- slendy would totally be more open to you than the other pastas. He’d share his issues, and encourage you to share your own with him. He’d most definitely enjoy your company around the woods, or mansion, and would make sure you’re always comfortable in his presence.

Zalgo- this is a Yikes. He would try his best not to get so angry at you, and would give you small little pet names such as ‘princess’ or ‘darling’. Zalgo would also change his physical appearance in front of you, because he would honestly get a bit self conscious being around you in his normal demon form, yet, he might slowly learn that your accepting of his appearance no matter what and would actually get mad at you for being so friendly towards him.

Jeff- he wouldn’t be as harsh and rude to you..maybe. He might tone it down a bit, Jeff’s just a lovable asshole. He’d use to vent and strongly encourge you to wear his hoodie, even if you aren’t cold (Jesus Christ man), mainly because he’d like how it looks on you. Jeff would also go out of his way to threaten and/or hurt anyone who messes with you.

Jane- Jane would feel more comfortable around you and show you her true appearance without her mask or black wig, as she trusts you’ll still be kind and supportive. Finding out you are alright with her true appearance, whenever you and Jane have your private little hangout times she’ll show her true self to you, maybe even explain her past to you about Jeff.

Nina- when you first started out as friends she would not. shut. up. about. Jeff. Yeah she’s that type of person, yet you tolerated that and got use to her fantasizing. After a while of you two knowing each other, and Nina developing feelings towards you, she’d probably get more quiet around you, and a bit more awkward in your presence as she’s nervous around you. Jeff is already annoyed by her, so she doesn’t want to mess up with you.

Dr. Smiley- he’d go out of his way to make sure you’re always in good health, mentally and physically, and would always scold you if you injured yourself. As his lover interesting, his main goal is to make sure you’re always safe and out of harms way, as well as him regularly sharing details about his most recent ‘operations’ as he believes you’ll be comfortable with it. Let’s hope you’re ready to hear every detail.

Bloody Painter- if you even managed to get Helen to trust you in the first place you get a cookie, he’s always so closed off. His main signs will be preferring to be around you a lot, brushing his hand against yours, asking to draw you, getting a bit flustered whenever you laugh or smile, and just staring at you (not in the creepy way). He may even crack a smile near you and would probably share about his childhood.

Kagekao- honestly this guy is so open he’ll straight up drop the most obvious signs. He’ll flirt with you, play with your hair, be really touchy..you get the gist. He’s very affectionate with you after developing his crush, hell he might even following you around a bit and if you ever manage to spot him he always manages to find an excuse. Not saying it’s a good one, but it’s an excuse.

Zero- panda child? This’ll be fun. Zero, like Kagekao, will be a bit open with her feelings, but not as obvious like the wine demon. She would probably do small little things like hold your hand, ask you how your day was, and if you’re ever sad she will go out her way to hold you close and comfort you the best she can. She is a bit good with emotions, as she remembered how sad Alice would get, so she has some experience with that and would cheer you up.

Nathan- he would try his best to act sane in front of you, maybe even block out his sister’s homicidal thoughts whenever you two are around each other. Nathan would give you small gifts such as necklaces or bracelets, and, like Helen, get a bit of a red face whenever he sees your shining smile. After what happened to his sister, seeing how close they were, he would do his best to keep you out of harm and make sure you’re always safe by sending you texts about how you’re doing. If you don’t answer in about- probably five minutes- he’ll start getting worried and try to call you.

Clockwork- she’d try to deny her feelings at first, seeing as her last relationship went with her boyfriend. After finally accepting she had romantic feelings towards you, her main question to you would always be ‘you like my drawings, right? You don’t find them creepy??’ Clock would also offer to draw you some pictures that aren’t always so gore filled if you don’t like that. Your comfort and thoughts are most important to her.

Pup- poetry, songs, he’s probably the most romantic out of them all. He would always like being around you, and from his past relationship with Emra, he’d always ask you if you’ll leave him. You aren’t dating, correct, but the paranoia still gets to him that he might lose the love of his life again. He’d always second guess his word choice to you to you and keep in mind what would make you uncomfortable.

EJ- Jack would try to drop his cannabalistic acts in front of you and would always keep your comfort in his mind. He might be a bit touchy, like holding your hand, playing with your hair, or just wrapping his arms around you and simply play it off as ‘he’s just cold’. Honestly he doesn’t get cold, at all, but it’s a good excuse to hold you in his arms. He might even unmask himself in your presence as he’s confident you won’t judge his appearance.

Judge Angels- She was already sweet with you when you first started being friends, but as she developed feelings, her actions changed. Dina would often fiddle with her hands, space out a bit, and awkwardly laugh at any questions you have about her behavior. As time goes on she may get a bit more comfortable about your presence and may even give you hugs at random times and just brush it off as she needed a hug.

Jason- being as creative as he is, Jason would probably make small little toys or stuffed animals for you, and would ask for your assistance. He would try to get more used to your hobbies, and might even try them just so he can get to know you even more than he already does. As his hair is long, he might even let you play with it as you please, it’s honestly soothing to him whenever he needs to relax.

Ben: if you’re playing video games with him, he just might let you win on purpose because he loves how excited you get when you beat him, buuuut he would also be willing to kick your ass since your pouty face is also down right adorable. He’d also do the cheesiest thing ever like moving his bed in Minecraft next to yours and probably do some hacks to get your Minecraft dog back from the dead. Smh we gotta love him 😔👊

The Rake- Rake would spend as much time with you as possible whenever you enter the woods. It’s like he can sense you. Whenever you set foot in the forest he always comes running over to you and just sits their, enjoying your company in silence as he doesn’t much prefer to talk. He might get a slight bit physical by resting his head on your arm or shoulder and will just listen to you speak, he may even fall asleep by hearing your soothing voice.

Toby- tobers would constantly be by your side and chatting with you, as he loves to hear your talk and see you light up with excitement whenever you discuss a topic of interest with him. He would try his best to control his tics and stutters, though it wouldn’t work and he’d clearly get frustrated, and embarrassed whenever he would stutter or twitch in front of you. His favorite thing to do with you as you are the love of his life would be to take strolls through parks or in the forest, as walks are always a nice way for him to clear his head and he loves the comfortable silence between you and him.

Rouge- she’d be very reluctant with her first feelings towards you, as her last relationship with her fiancé ended up with him dying. She doesn’t want her significant other leaving her like that again, so she may avoid you for some time. After finally getting some guts and accepting her feelings, she might give it a go with being around you would drop a few hints such as asking you if you want to star gaze, if there’s anything hurting or bothering you, and she’d even offer up her jacket to you if you get cold.

Kate- with how kate is, she’d deny every bit of love she feels. She may even act a bit rude towards you at first. After a week or so, she’d realize her mistakes and get really clingy with you and would just repeatedly apologize by just saying sorry, or she may get you a few gifts. It won’t take her long to finally confess her feelings to you though, as she hates just being near your presence, unable to hold you and have you not question it. (She tried it once and was awkward about making an excuse. It was a terrible one.)

Marble Hornets

Right off the bat, all four of them would avoid you because they don’t want you to get exposed to slender or get tangled in the mess.

Brian- Yes he’d be pushing you away a bit, but that wouldn’t stop him from expressing how he feels. He might send you cute little text messages or call you to check up on you. Rarely, he will stop by and visit, take you out for dinner, and maybe drop a few flirts. It’s hard for him though, as your safety is everything.

Tim- he wouldn’t spend his entire time avoiding you, though he would take caution with you. Like Brian, you’re important to him. Tim and you would probably go out for drives every so often, just to relax and escape reality for a bit, and to chat. He might even bring his ukulele along so he can play some music if you both decide to share no words at all. He might even try to teach you a bit and if you struggle, he’d just find it adorable at how hard you’re trying to learn.

Jay- he’d be the most distant of them all. And after several texts and phone calls to him, trying to find out what was wrong, he eventually just opened up about everything in his life, which he’s glad you‘re supportive and try to help. He might spend the night with you once he finally decides to make contact with you (for cuddles, or so he feels a bit more safer), he’ll go for walks around the park, and might get a bit nervous near you as he’s scared he’ll screw up with some speech or something. He might even let you wear his hat, or jacket if you ask. He’d honestly have a difficult time saying no to you. As your happiness gives him hope in the world.

Alex- he’d have more patiences with you, and might actually be more comfortable with having you close to him after a few days of completely avoiding you. Alex would show you how his camera works, and might even let you record somethings on it. He’d often give you small compliments like how amazing you are, and how sweet you act towards him, and will also get defensive to people if they give you weird looks and such.

[autumndear]

hello hello !! it’s lucky back at it again !! i j wanna preface this by saying my last intro was compared to drunk history and i was also asked if i was drunk when i wrote it ( but in the nicest way y’all ). i wasn’t that time. i’m still not that drunk, but ya girl a little tipsy. there’s the answer 2 future questions. ONTO THE SHIT THAT MATTERS:

disclaimer: honestly everyone involved in mommie dearest ( 1978 / 1981 ) cld totally sue me for this.

background.

triggers: child abuse, mention of illness and death, brief mention of infidelity

ya girl is too invested in classic era hollywood and she hates herself for it so that said autumn’s mother, not based off of joan crawford just set in a slightly different time period, was pretty much considered one of the last greats. as a part of the patty duke/sharon tate/etc. generation when paparazzi were just beginning to get involved in personal live ( we stan elizabeth taylor for this ), she was pretty much... as i said... one of the last classic actresses

and she KNEW IT!!

irene caeden was a hoe for publicity. although never confirmed nor denied, autumn has always highly suspected the only reason irene adopted her was to make her look good.

autumn was made to call irene “Momma Hen” what do u mean mommie dearest?

that said, irene wasn’t... a good mom... honestly at the beginning, her intentions were pure. however, as autumn began growing up and learning how to be more resistant, irene began worsening her punishments

“y’ain’t gonna keep racing me until u win?? ok ig i can lock u up if u want me too....”

“y’ain’t gonna keep playing this game of strategy against me until u win?? ok ig i can force u 2 stay up all night and day staring at that board not sleeping with a surveillance camera placed right by u.”

“y’ain’t gonna finish ur meal? fine. starve.”

irene could have the best night of her life. she could win an oscar for best lead/best supporting and just be in a total state of euphoria which would pass to autumn. then she would find one thing wrong in autumn’s room in an attempt to reminisce and all hell would break loose.

that’s when the abuse that one typically associates the word with begins – when all hell breaks loose after reminiscing. 

then her mother would grow irrationally paranoid over something that didn’t exist – usually a stain because we’re not original – and would force autumn to work on it with her. she cleaned her rooms perfectly. there was no stain. but she helped her mother, now vulnerable for some reason, nonetheless.

their best moments of connection were when irene was putting autumn through hell, because she was going through her own.

that’s fucked!!

naturally, the older she got, the worse their battles became.

when she graduated high school, she was proposed to by a young man named charlie (i accidentally called him mark once in the biography oh my god i hate myself). she planned to move in with him and begin studying away from home. 

irene didn’t like this plan. she made sure a tempting young woman introduced herself to charlie and and proceeded to seduce him.

charlie took the bait.

when autumn and charlie broke everything off, her mother reminded her that she always knew best!! (ok to be fair... he did cheat ok we’ll give her that even if she set it up he still cheated by his own volition) 

still, autumn wanted to leave the horrible environment, the only good people in her life being the live-in maid and nanny. unfortunately, irene is a very good actress.

irene told autumn that she had been dropped by her studio and that her contract had been lifted – that she was back where she started and didn’t know where to go, financially or career-wise. 

ultimately, she manipulated autumn into staying.

their battles continued to grow up until irene fell fatally ill. autumn took a sort of sadistic pleasure in watching her mom slowly deteriorate,,, and tbh she hated herself for it but,,,

their shared fear made them connect over it.

when she died, autumn was essentially the only person at the funeral who knew her for her. irene had always complained about people loving the idea of her, but not her – the only valid complaint she’d ever made. autumn wished she could’ve been that person, but she was essentially just like every other person there.

when she learned she’d literally inherited zero (0) in the will except for an acknowledgement of all the ‘lessons’ irene had taught her, she decided she would get the last word by writing a tell-all mommie dearest who.

following the book’s success, she decided she didn’t want to live a life of fame and harassment. she moved to boot hill and thought she could become a brand new person!!

-kathy bates vc- LIIIIEEES -end vc-

-marina and the diamonds vc- liiiEEEeesssss -end vc-

working at the funeral home (we stan) reminded her of her past, present, and future. 

marrying the local pastor, a horrible match for her, echoed charlie.

having to be the stern parent of three children reminded her of her own mother.

AND BOY HOWDY THERE IS NOTHING SHE FEARS MORE THAN WINDING UP LIKE HER MOTHER!!

ofc she’s convinced if she ever even shows signs, the one good thing about her marriage to gabe is that he would intervene.

wow i should be ernest hemingway my intros are so much... less drunk sounding than they are when i’m 110% sober.

personality.

wine mom. lives for the gossip. basically helen lovejoy from the simpsons.

a lot more serious than ophelia (in part bc she’s never high lbr). she generally understands situations much better and actually... gauges them appropriately.

has a compassionate side. although she’s largely rational, she is quick to recognize emotion and act. 

has to be the stern parent out of her and gabe. she doesn’t know why they continue having children. they have no passion and she’s afraid she’ll wind up being like her mother.

sad bitch bad bitch (tbh ophelia too but)

honestly the epitome of almost every single lily allen song.

we stan.

wanted connections.

considering i can only come up with unique connections when i have a theme going (like classic movie lines for ophelia’s), i can’t think of anything very unique, but:

someone she cheats on gabe with (gender doesn’t matter)

friends?

people she gossips with/wine buddies

???????

STAY TUNED!!

and then we also love brainstorming.

N E WAY. LIKE THIS OR HMU IF U WOULD LIKE 2 PLOT !!

[valntinemorgenstern]

Hi!! I saw your answer about jordelia being endgame and i was curious have you seen that someone asked cassie if james and cordelia will get married and have kids and she replied "sort of" for me this answer only makes sense if they are married but don´t act like husband and wife but how can they sort of have children?? I can´t help but keeping making theories hahah i only know that i already ship jordelia and i really hope they have a happy ending but i have a bad feeling about them!

Hi, yes, it’s strange isn’t it!! Well, if you’ll indulge me, I do have a small theory about this. now, i don’t have any textual evidence for this so at this point this is pure speculation, but bear with me.

the way i see it, you can only ‘sort of’ have kids if

they are adopted 

they (biologically) only belong to one of the parents i.e. they are illegitimate 

so, i reckon that owen herondale…may not be the son of cordelia + james. i think he may be the son of grace + james. obv the family tree doesn’t tell us that bc it would be clearly something they’d seek to cover up. 

i grant you: illegitimate children/issue born out of wedlock is (weirdly) not a storyline with any precedent in cassie’s books (given how many shadowhunter characters there are ) – apart from, arguably, mark and helen. (but seeing as they’re half-faerie and in faerie they don’t have conventional courting rules, it’s not exactly the same). 

and there’s also – can we ever imagine james effectively…cheating on cordelia? (if he is indeed married to her at that point?) 

the family tree tells us that owen herondale was born 1912, which would put his birth (given that cassie’s books normally cover only a few months), at well outside the main timeline of the books. however, we already know that lucie’s birthdate is (for some reason) later than it really is; it’s not outside the realms of possibility that owen’s birthdate could also be inaccurate. 

but still: why would james….?

if indeed, my theory is correct, about his love for grace being (possibly) the result of some enchantment, then that would explain his cheating on cordelia. (however, that would also mean that owen would effectively be the result of rape, which i’m not comfortable with, and i’m not sure that’s a storyline cassandra would be comfortable with, either. i do have another little theory that would get around that problem, tho. but we don’t have all day.) 

but still, why have an illegitimate child? even if the love triangle has been ‘resolved’ at this (unknown) point, illegitimate children belonging to a past lover is a traditional trope that ensures the other parent is denied closure of that past relationship. they can never really move on; every time they look at their child’s face, they are reminded of that past lover, and (potentially) the huge mistake they made in conceiving that child together. and tbh? that sounds like something cassie would do. just as james is moving on, happily married to cordelia – he looks at his son and is reminded of how he’s always tied to grace. it would mean that grace would leave a permanent imprint on james’ life. i know that makes his life sound fairly miserable, but we’re talking about cassie here.

also, wouldn’t it be the perfect twist? james is supposed to be nerdy and sweet and sensitive and awkward around girls (nothing but shadows); he would absolutely not be the person that we’d expect to have an illegitimate child. some other herondales – edmund, jace, will to a certain extent – definitely play off the whole womaniser reputation, and hint at having had liaisons with women, but james? hard to imagine. the stigma attached to having an illegitimate child would be incredibly ironic, if it ended up being attached to the one herondale who really, on the surface, doesn’t deserve it at all. 

why would cordelia agree to raise james’ lovechild, though? cordelia’s flower card, released a few years ago now,  had a v striking tagline. 

why ‘loyal’?? unless….she has a reason to be ‘loyal’ i.e. to james? ofc it could be referring to a platonic love as well (with lucie?) but nonetheless, i thought that was quite intriguing. 

i don’t see any of this as necessarily ruining jordelia endgame. why not? well, i can’t find the damn post, but basically, ages ago – someone asked cassie about the family tree and she explained that it was patrilineal; only ma;e descendents were included and she said, for instance, james may have had daughter(s) who aren’t included on the family tree. as a general rule, cassie never suggests stuff like that that doesn’t turn out to be true. 

so i reckon that, although owen (may be?) illegitimate, james and cordelia may also have natural born (female) children, who simply don’t feature on the family tree. i think that would qualify as ‘sort of’. 

[rambunctiousreader]

Topics I just need to touch on from Lord of Shadows (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT)

Emma and Julian

- I’m really glad their friendship went back to normal after some time. The distance between them was unlike them at all and I hated it. I know it was necessary because they both had to process how things had changed between them, but that doesn’t mean I liked reading it.

- Okay so I think the curse is seriously coming into play here. Cassie never outwardly says that the curse is already occurring, but she drops multiple hints throughout the book. For one, all of a sudden, Emma and Julian can communicate telepathically. I don’t know but I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to happen. Also, um, they caught a STONE building on fire?! Stone? All-powerful runes? Ring a bell?????

- During the church scene and many, many other scenes, there’s so much sexual tension between Emma and Julian. Literally. I think there’s more in LOS than LM because at this point they’ve had sex and seen that intimate side of each other. At this point, they both have privately acknowledged that they are in love with the other. I think that plays a huge role in their relationship and how it has evolved since Lady Midnight.

- That huge fight that they had when they were staying at Malcolm’s cottage literally broke me. I was on the verge of crying while reading that. I’m just glad that it didn’t take long for them to make up.

- Their conversation about the Shadowhunter family mottos BAHAHAHAHA

- This is their second sex scene and honestly I loved it so much. It was so perfect. I almost burst into tears crying when Emma admitted to Julian that she’d been lying about her relationship with Mark.

- Emma still hasn’t told Julian that she loves him and I keep wondering if this is an important detail that will be used in QoAaD. Am I the only one who noticed this?

Diana Wrayburn

- It’s not like I hated Diana in Lady Midnight, I just didn’t know her very well and didn’t see the depth of her character. Once I read her backstory, I grew to love her. She is such a strong person and honestly I just want to be her best friend.

- Diana and Gwyn? Um, can you say hella cute couple?

- Once Cassie told us that there would be a transgender character reveal in Lord of Shadows, I knew from the start that it would be Diana. In Lady Midnight, it talks about how she has lots of secrets and a dark past. We knew that she’d been through a lot, so it wasn’t a huge surprise for me, but still a monumental moment in the book nonetheless. 

- Summed up into four words, I can say “I love Diana Wrayburn!”

Kit Herondale

- From the moment we found out in Lady Midnight that Kit is the Lost Herondale, I knew that he would be an interesting character to read about. I was not disappointed.

- It’s truly heartwarming to watch Kit grow from a person who is denying himself as a Shadowhunter and the culture of the Shadowhunters to fully embracing it and finding a home with the Blackthorns. That scene where they’re fighting the Seven Riders and Ethna (or whatever her name is) is about to kill him and he’s all like “I’m Christopher Herondale.” I just loved that and I almost cried. 

- At this point, I still don’t really know where his relationship with Ty will lead. I know for sure it will be either a romantic relationship or a parabatai relationship, and I’m perfectly fine with whichever. For me, it’s hard to tell right now. Cassie has a habit of pulling large plot twists on us, and I don’t know what to think. All I do know is that I like Kit and Ty as friend or lovers. I think they compliment each other very well and are so cute. (The Sherlock and Watson comparisons?! Cute af!)

Julian Blackthorn

- I’m honestly so scared for Julian and I have two main theories for him. Neither of them are happy. He’s either going to literally go off the deep end and go full evil and be really bad or he’s not going to survive to the end of the series. Like I said, I don’t really like either option.

- Julian’s hidden ruthlessness is touched upon several times in LOS like in LM. This is NOT coincidental and Cassie is foreshadowing. His ruthless nature and his undying will to protect those he loves will play a major role in the plot of QoAaD, I’m sure.

- I don’t even want to think about how Livvy’s death will affect his family, but especially Julian. He’d devoted his life, time, and heart to protecting his family and doing whatever it takes to keep them alive and safe. He’s failed to do that. Because of Livvy’s death, he will blame himself and I feel like it will really push him over the edge. 

- There is this undeniable dark Julian that we all know exists. Few of us actually acknowledge that this is a part of Julian because we don’t want to imagine our baby Julian like that. Our baby Julian, who has been in love with Emma for god knows how long. Our baby Julian who ran an Institute when he was twelve, killed his own father, who became parabatai with Emma even when he knew he was in love with her because he didn’t want to lose her. Jules, Julian, who paints her in secret, who hides his feelings for her. He is an incredibly selfless person and I feel like that it could seriously be his downfall and weakness ironically.

- Basically, I think that tough times are in the forecast for Julian Blackthorn. :(

Five Main Character Deaths

- Jon Cartwright: I was really surprised about his death and didn’t see it coming. I was just a lil sad but overall it wasn’t that bad. I will miss him though. I hope Marisol will be okay.

- Arthur Blackthorn: I was also very surprised about this death. In Lady Midnight, Arthur is written as this insane, depressed, and sad individual. We don’t like him because he was supposed to run the Institute, not Julian. In the last few pages of his life, he was completely lucid and actively gave up his life to save the younger Blackthorns. I was very taken aback and thought it was very honorable. It instantly redeemed his character for me. I was sad to see him go.

- Malcolm Fade: I never really believed he was dead tbh. I actually laughed when he truly died. Literally, this dude spends 200+ years dedicating his life to bringing a girl back from the dead, and when he does she just kills him?!?! I died it was actually really funny. I realize how sick that sounds and I’m sorry but it was so funny.

- Robert Lightwood: Never did I think a character from another series would be killed off. I set myself up for sadness when I assumed that. I was very sad when Robert died; not only was he Emma and Julian’s only hope to fix things between them, but he was also just mending his relationship with his children and it broke my heart when Alec was calling for his dad. I can’t remember exactly, the last few pages of LOS were a blur of tears and emotions and words and I’m pretty sure I started crying when Alec was calling “Dad, please, dad.”

- Livvy Blackthorn: Oh my god. Oh my god. Livvy’s death caught me by complete surprise and it crushed me. Livvy had so much ahead of her. She’d found out that Julian had been the one that had taken care of all of the younger Blackthorns since the Dark War, and she’d wanted to be like him. She’d kissed Julian on the forehead. It was so cute and it warmed my heart. SHE NEVER GOT TO RUN AN INSTITUTE. All Livvy wanted was for her family to be together and when Helen and Mark finally came back and everyone was together, she died. She never got to see her family reunite, and I think that’s the saddest part. I truly will miss Livvy. And when the clock rang? Oh my god, I was a hot mess. There are dried tears on the last two pages of LOS. I cried myself to sleep that night when I finished it.

Side note on Livvy’s death: maybe this is a grieving me just searching for a way to bring Livvy back but there was a quote in either Lady Midnight or Lord of Shadows (I think its LOS) and one of the characters (I think a faerie or something) is like “Oh, how foolish of u to regard death as something so final.” Will this tie into Livvy’s death? WILL LIVVY COME BACK?

Characters I Literally Cannot Deal With

- Jaime Rosales (taking advantage of Dru like wtf)

- Annabel Blackthorn (she fucking killed Livvy and Robert ugh)

- Zara Dearborn (I don’t really need to explain this, do I?)

- The Cohort (see above)

Characters I Didn’t Pay Much Attention to Before but Now I Like Them

- Mark Blackthorn (sweet bby oml)

- Kieran (ur not as bad as I thought, pal)

- Diana Wrayburn (I explained above. Never hated her or anything, just didn’t know her)

- Gwyn ap Nudd (PROTECT THIS ACTUAL TEDDY BEAR OML)

- Dru Blackthorn (don’t make her babysit plz)

- Ty and Livvy (I have a twin and I wish he was like Ty lol)

Emma Carstairs 

- hot mess of angst and emotions throughout the book (as expected) 

- Julian Blackthorn Julian Blackthorn Julian Blackthorn Julian Blackthorn

- She slayed one of the Seven Riders like holy crap girl ur a legend

- She and Julian had sex again. Have I talked about this? Yes. It was amazing. I loved it. I enjoyed every second of it.

- I love how whenever someone does anything mean or says something bad about the Blackthorns, Emma freaking goes apeshit on them

- When Emma made Diego stand in the antpile.... OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS GIRL

- She’s so sassy and I love her sass. Did I mention I love her sass. 

Further comments

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH CORTANA BREAKING THE MORTAL SWORD. WHAT THE FUCK. I NEED ANSWERS.

- will Emma and Julian seriously ever get rid of the parabatai bond

- how will Livvy’s death affect her family

- when will Mark, Cristina, and Kieran have their eventual threesome I need to know

- how the fuck is Bridget still alive

- ALL OF THE TID REFERENCES WHILE THEY WERE IN LONDON AHHHH MY HEART

- what is happening to the warlocks oh my god don’t touch my Tessa and don’t touch my Magnus

- is Ragnor alive or nah

- what is the history of the Black Volume

- Clary better not die or I fucking s2g

[swearronchanel]

Tired of these yet? A Christmas journey in March with 4.09

I’ve actually been productive today *claps* I’m the worst™ and a procrastinator to the core, so it was about damn time I got shit done. Plus+ I ran out of clean jeans so that was some motivation to do laundry & once I started moving I just kept going haha. But today I watched the Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher’s memorial & omg it was so emotional ugh. Now that I’m so sad I guess I’m going to watch Call the Midwife. Care to join me?

I closed my eyes and pointed to the episode list, looks like we’re watching 4.09 aka the 2015 Christmas special

I don’t have to pretend very hard that it’s Christmas because it was like 17 degrees f the other day lol

Am I the only one who hums along in their head to the theme song? ok nvm

Aw a baby

Tom is actually in church lol, we rarely see him there

Sister MJ lol, what is she looking for?!

Sister Winifred actually cooks/bakes pretty often

SISTER EVANGELINA 😭💔 I still miss her

Sister Winifred aka queen of cringey facial expressions, I love it

Ah no! the death joke is no longer funny sister E 😭😭 rip💔

My bby Trixie on the scene😍

What is quality street? I looked it up before but forgot. Candy right?

whoops is my American showing

I hope Sister MC comes back soon☹️

“Behold, I have located the Brandy” three cheers for alcohol 🍻 I wouldn’t choose brandy though what am I a rich old business man at a country club?

Lol Sister MJ & Sister W giggling so pure !

“You give us enough gip when you’re stone cold sober“😂 same

Gremlin kids in the front haha

Oh no😂 Babs gave them all candy and now has to make them spit it out😂

Aw I love Christmas

But looking at this snow is triggering even if it’s fake😭😂

WE’VE HAD SO MUCH THIS MONTH HERE & IT’S MARCH❄️

yikes these kids are awful, who let them up there! 😭😂

SHELAGH’S FACE 😂 SHE IS DISGUSTED OMG HAHAA

Patrick laughing so hard like same 😭😂

Welp he’s lucky, Saved by the bell thanks to Trixie

Doesn’t Sister MJ explode whatever’s in the pot?

Ahh Shelagh looks so good™!😍 I love when they dress her up!

In other news, Laura tweeted me, which means she knows I exists. What a time to be alive™😭✨👏🏼you know I was shook

Angela so precious aww, I hope my future baby is that pretty

Now I just think of The Crown when I see Mrs Willens *she’s in it if you haven’t watched*

Oh no Sister MJ!!! 😭😭 why are they always giving her illnesses! Dejala sola!

She was legit ill in the first Christmas special 😭

Love Trixie’s ponytail, why Patsy’s hair a mess tho? LOL I SHOULDN’T BE TALKING

I’m a walking ball of frizz. And when I don’t wash my hair for a few days it actually dread locks 😂 gotta love curls

Aw Delia’s not here- I forgot she cracked her head open and went back to Wales

Protect Sister MJ at every cost

Violet literally sewing Fred’s ass into the Santa pants 😂😂😂 fun fact they  did that to Olivia Newton John in Grease

not sure if I knew that because I have a junk brain of useless information or because I’m trash that reads buzzfeed

Violet’s been wearing blue eyeshadow for 3 series

“I’m not biting this, it’s too close to your backside” lol okay vi give it time. You’ll be cringeyly very handsy with each other in a bit anyway 😂

She’d do it now with no hesitation I bet

I’m here for their relationship tho😂

SISTER MJ HAD PNEUMONIA IN SERIES 1 DID SHE NOT?

Ugh distaval, fuck that. Just wait and see what chaos it brings

Aw Pats looking at the photo of Delia💔 oo wait that was a parallel then in the Cuban missile Crisis episode this series

PHYLLIS !! I missed her presence lol

Tom’s opening letter from bbc it’s lit

also: he looks good™

Poor Sister MJ! What are they feeding you, liver ew

Ah I forgot, this is when they get the tv😭

Poor Babs can’t go home for Christmas

You’ll have the nonnatus fam❤️❤️

“All should head home” *breaks out into song* THERE’S NOOO PLACE LIKE HOMEEE, FOR THE HOLIDAYSSS

Which is true because NYC is pretty beautiful at Christmas time, I can’t deny that

But also is when 100000x more people are visiting 🙃and stop in front of you when you’re walking to take pictures 🙃 *clenches fists* moving on..

Lol Tom you need to be more clear on this, they’re not getting it

Sister J shut him down 😂

“Mrs Mop” lmfao this BBC guy is a jerk😂

Laura’s another queen of facial expressions

“Aesthetics are vital” I feel

Aw Shelagh so cute being defensive of the kids of poplar

Lets be real though Shelagh’s always adorable bc Laura is an actual angel

pink wafers aye

i still have been craving them lol, there’s no bodega’s around my university though☹️

Angela is giggling, was this the last time we heard her make a noise lol

Wait this is when Sister MJ runs away

yikes measles

when did the vaccine become a thing then? that mmr shot ugh

Glad I got it because there’s supposedly someone with mumps on my campus like wtf

Why was Sister E so harsh yelling at Sister Mj!? That was unnecessary !!

LET 👏🏼SISTER 👏🏼MJ 👏🏼DECORATE👏🏼FOR👏🏼CHRISTMAS 👏🏼AND👏🏼WATCH 👏🏼TELEVISON !!

I’m so protective of her, stop😢😢

She doesn’t deserve that 💔

Sometimes I forget Patsy’s name is Patience

Fred’s Santa beard is gross ew😂😂

yikes an enema

I’d rather die

Oh no, there she goes *sings* there she goessss todayyy

Yes Babs lollipops are fascinating

She just slipped that baby out

I want to go to London at Christmas time

I love lights ✨✨

Delia! What up Bitch where you been!

BUT WAIT I HAVE A COAT THAT LOOKS REALLY SIMILAR TO MRS BUBSY’S LOL

It’s vintage too, i love it, makes me feel fabulous af

until I remember it’s probably a dead woman’s coat

WATCHING THEM LET THE BABY JUST HANG MAKES ME SO ANXIOUS OMG

“You clever girl!”

Aw poor iris 😭💔

Violet is actually so sweet & we don’t see much of her w/o Fred like why 

Everyone on this show is so sweet and pure !!! I just love it too much!

remember when I was normal and didn’t care so much about television? Yea me neither 😅

Sister MJ is gone

ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO PUT UP THE TREE!!

that necklace and sapphire ring were so pretty though 😭 wish my mom had a sapphire ring for me to inherit 

Shelagh is too pretty for this grey suit, where’s the navy one?!

I will never be comfortable with cookies being called biscuits tbh

“No dogs!” “If it can’t sing silent night I’m not interested”  SHELAGH IS GOLDEN

SHE HAS SOME GREAT LINES BUT GIVE HER MORE !!

Oh Hay Peter

if you think about it Miranda Hart put this poor guy out of a job. Like he used to have more screen time lol but he can’t be around much with out her

“Very like a family in fact” 😭 I love when they call themselves family cause they are !!

Wait rehearsing before school? Ugh that must have been so early 😂

I couldn’t have been in that choir. In high school I woke up at 6:45am everyday & started at 8:05am & only lived 2 blocks away but I still got there at 9:15am 🙃

plus I’m an awful singer 😂

“She probably thought her habit would keep her safe”

Sister Mary Cynthia says that about her self the next series when she’s attacked 😢

Babs was right though! She was just excited bendito 😭😭

How much is a bob?? £??

I barely can keep up with how many $ is a £ tbh

Lolol had to check when I donated to Laura’s fundraising 😂😂

Delia has been with this big ass bun for 3 series as well

The cafe they’re in is aesthetically pleasing

so Delia’s mom is hella protective but didn’t notice she left to another town lol??

well I guess they’re even now since patsy left & then lost contact for a bit

LET ME TELL YOU, THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THIS EPISODE I WAS SCREAMINGGG

I THOUGHT THEY HAD KILLED SISTER MJ AND WAS FREAKING TF OUT ™

I’m trying to think of what Phyllis’s hat reminds me of

I wanna say Mary Poppins 

IT’S NOT SISTER MJ👏🏼

I knew it wasn’t but still!!!

Is Shelagh wearing lipstick? i’m here for it!

but I don’t like her dress

@ wardrobe/costume ppl be nicer to my bby pls

“Well, there’s just a word that no-one likes singing. It’s in that line and it begins with a "b”’ 😂 lmaooo c'mon Tim 😂😂

He was talking about breast feeding like how many episodes ago why is he embarrassed now? 😂

Patrick laughing 😭 me as a parent tbh

Poor sickly Sister MJ 💔

My bbys Trixie and Shelagh are ¡interacting!! 💕😍

How do I get my hair to look like Trixie’s/Helen’s

SORRY CANCELED

Lol jk all will be well bby

SISTER MJ REALLY OUT HERE IN THE WOODS, LIKE HOW ??

Ah Shelagh’s dressed up again! Love it 😍 and she’s wearing earrings & matching pearls!! so pretty!! 💕💕

this has been an episode of gushing over Laura sorry not sorry

Look at her hat, she can wear anything

LMAO HE WASN’T EVEN PETER PAN GET OUT OF HERE MAN

You have to be impressed that this 80 yr old woman with dementia found her childhood home

for real though I want Shelagh’s coat

mrs willens + shelagh was kinda a friendship & was cute

“Well I stopped holding out against that happiness, didn’t I?"💔💖

people on this show are always holding hands platonically & romantically like how sweet and pure !?

"Almost all the world was before your time child … you are concerned to see it last a little longer”

Hell yea lets get it, round up the nuns and nurses lets SING !!

“But it sometimes seems to me the older I get, the more I have to learn” 😭

“We get so much out of love, we find strength in it and courage. Love is our foundation and our fuel”

DAMN IT WHY IS THE WRITING SO GREAT??!

HEIDI CAN WRITE MY EUOLGY SINCE SHE’LL BE THE CAUSE OF MY ACTUAL DEATH WHEN THIS SHOW IS  OVER ONE DAY *WHICH IS HOPEFULLY NEVER, ..I MEAN DAYS OF OUR LIVES IS ON SEASON 50 SO IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE🙃🙃*

shelagh and sister j❤️❤️ so pure. I love their relationship + moments together

BUT I STILL *NEED* TRIXIE & SHELAGH TO HAVE A REAL FRIENDSHIP + ACTUAL SCENES TOGETHER

no sister, it’s not your fault that she ran away😢

broadcast about to be lit

Why did we never see Trixie giving Barbara a makeup lesson😭😂

Trixie getting excited about putting makeup on Babs like same 😂I like helping people with makeup *even though I’m not even that good haha*

“Oh some lipstick might be nice, with a touch of gay geranium you’d look quite like Jean Simmons” SISTER W SNEAKS OUT TO THE MOVIE THEATRE ON HER DAYS OFF AND NO ONE WILL CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE OK

PHYLLIS GARGLING OMG

WHY IS IT SO FUNNY 😂

yea sister E I’m sorry you were kinda bitchy

I’m sorry to call a fictitious nun a bitch oops lol

SHE’S GOING TO REDEEM HERSELF AND FIND SISTER MJ THOUGH SO IT’S OKAY!! 😭👏🏼👏🏼

Tom is so handsome! i think the collar distracts you from noticing though haha

What does wet behind the ears mean and why does it sound cringey?

on the next episode of I didn’t know I was pregnant: Christmas miracles in Poplar

No but for real it seriously was a show on TLC😂 I had a phase where I watched like every show on that channel

“Antonia! Nanny found a bible in your room again” so?? like you wish she would’ve found drugs or something?

Ugh I don’t think Sister MJ will live 3 more series & I WILL BE A WRECK™ WHEN SHE DIES

Surprise! you’re pregnant & will give birth in the next 12 mins before this show ends

imagine omg never mind not feeling safe Iris I’d be freaking tf out

I told you sister Julienne just shows up and speaks and you just feel calm

“Love is not going to be halved, but doubled” I swear someone says this again in another episode but I can’t remember

maybe I’m lying idk

The Fred + Sister E dynamic was golden

what is Sister Evangelina holding?

it looks like a bong tbh

Sister MJ saying pawning her mother’s jewels was an “interesting experience"😂 dios te bengida, she needs to always be protected  

aw pats & deels reunited *and it feeelsss so gooddd*

Fred saying rigging this raffle is immoral like HE WASNT THE BIGGEST SCAMMER IN POPLAR

I was here for it though lol😂

Phyllis gargling 😂😂

Wait omg she has earrings on how precious!

I always notice when girls/women don’t have their ears pierced because I didn’t realize for the longest time that it’s mainly just hispanics that get their ears pierced when they’re babies😂 I’ve had mine since I was six weeks old👶🏼

"Beatrix Franklin, midwife of mystery” aka my bby and ray of sunshine✨😭

it’s all good though, Trixie has Christopher, Tom has Babs, now where’s my handsome Englishman??

cue Vanessa Redgrave

“Sometimes the route to joy is indirect, our journey home not quite as we expected. There is no magic star to guide our steps, no ancient prophecies to predict our way. The greatest gift is to know that we travel not alone, but in the company of others. That there are hands as can reach for and hearts to keep us warm..”

Laura’s angelic voice blessing™ me on this Saturday night

I need it after being degenerate every other day of the week

*sings loudly* CHRISTTTTTTTT THEEEE SAVIORRRR IS BORNNNNNN

AHH I WANT CHRISTMAS NOW ! + THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 

patsy lowkey snuggled up on Phyllis I love it

Trixie is serving looks in the corner 😍!

I still want those hoop earrings she has!

And they finally got a tv😭👏🏼

“And the family gathered round, watching their faces flicker black and white. Their very presence in the room an act of love, a welcome home”

*BANGS FISTS ON AN IMAGINARY TABLE* THIS SHOW IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PURE AND IF YOU DISAGREE WE CAN FIGHT

I love it

Now I must go. until next time..

[chrisbransdon]

Photo by Peter Lindbergh

Between the chip on my shoulder, penchant for admiring women who exile themselves for their opinions (Hannah Arendt, Camille Paglia, Helen Razer), and my general evangelistic zeal, it’s no wonder that everything I say seems blandly combative. Feminism is bad. Intersectionality is a false lead. The Christian blogosphere is lukewarm. The Babylon Bee is for dudes who anonymously write out their rants and call it ‘satire’. Sheesh. I’m not exactly the blogger you look to for a dose of optimism. Perhaps there is something endearing in that, but perhaps I need to re-think the way I see the world. Who better to help get me on the right track than Emma Watson?

Despite being critical of liberal feminism (the kind of nice, popular feminism about women having ‘choices’ which probably has too close a relationship to capitalism) which Watson is undoubtedly a face of, I still admire her. I mean, who doesn’t love this woman. As if being Hermione wasn’t enough, she is Ivy-League educated, and is genuinely committed to her feminist convictions and the belief that they can make the world a better place. She would never be accused of naysaying. My respect for her manifested itself in my spending $8.99 on Vogue Australia this month, which she guest-edited.

From her editor’s letter, to her reflections on ethical fashion, to her conversation with Malala Yousafzai, Watson overflows with optimism. Although tbh, I kind of want to start a whole naysaying thing right here about the alienating effect of waxing lyrical about sustainable fashion when very few people can actually afford it. But I won’t.

I don’t think I’m a better person for having read this month’s woke issue of Vogue. But I couldn’t help noticing how differently Watson and I approach the world. She gains our trust because she seems to be earnestly moving forward towards something better. In contrast, I wonder whether I am destined to merely criticising the movements she holds so dear for the rest of my life. Can I do better than this and instead offer a vision of life with the same optimism and enthusiasm as Watson? Where do I start?

I have studied the Mark 8 call to discipleship more times than I can count. It is a polarising text which sets out the bottom line of the Christian life and even after all these years, I struggle with it. Mostly, I keep forgetting what it means to deny myself as a follower of Christ. I forget what it means when I consider myself to be a leader rather than a slave. I forget what it means when I worry more about whether my voice is being heard, or my gifts are being appreciated, than getting on with unseen service. I forget what it means when I begin to resent the choices that I’ve made because I realise that in the eyes of the world, they mean that I amount to nothing.

If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Watson’s Vogue is great, it’s just, I can’t imagine the usefulness of pressing it into the hands of the majority of the world. But Mark 8 confronts everyone regardless of their situation and tells them to choose Jesus and wait in hopeful expectation for him. There are few solutions that our world can come up with that can muster that kind of universality. But it’s not exactly a palatable option. According to the Christian, in order to fully realise your humanity, it seems as though you have to deny a fundamental part of it: your autonomy. 

In denying myself, I’m lightyears behind the successful optimists of our world. Instead of being some kind of #girlboss, I find myself playing duck duck goose with infants of a Friday morning, while their mums read the Bible together, at the church in the home town that I never left. In this instance, I’m technically not even using the ‘gifts’ I supposedly developed at theological college. And more than that, I’m led to believe not only by the secular world, but at times by Christian sisters, that helping with crèche is to be relegated to the sphere of unpaid, menial labour. I can’t understand that mentality. I really can’t, and I think it’s because I have internalised Mark 8 rather than resistance towards the patriarchy. If I live my life according to Mark 8, then the idea that caring for children could be beneath me just sounds like a load of entitled, selfish nonsense. I am a slave. That is all I am. Nothing more. That’s not exactly a platitude you will see on social media for International Women’s Day.

The truth is, I have a lot to offer. More to offer than Emma Watson. But the thing about carrying a dirty great cross is that it is not particularly photogenic. And whatever else Watson may stand for, she still has to sell movies, magazines, clothes… She is part of a machine that must always remain optimistic, because without that, we wouldn’t be tempted to think that we should buy a piece of it. Or many pieces.

I can’t buy the hope that Jesus offers. It costs too much. His own blood, the denial of self. In many ways the gospel itself ends up naysaying the world and I’m just the messenger. But I suppose I have to remember that it naysays with the promise of something far greater. Criticism without hope is just bitterness. I may be a slave, but the Bible promises joy in service and I tell you, truly, even though I am the girl least likely, I really love those crèche kids. 

[swearronchanel]

My never ending commentary, 6.05 edition 🙃

I’m back in action people 

Valerie walking with her mother like it’s the first day of school lol

still not sure about her though

babs finally getting a new dress yes!

Oh no what’s wrong with the lady

UMM GIRL, WHAT U THOUGHT THIS WAS?? asking for her own room Lmaoo vete ya, get out of here

“I snore” lmao ugh idk if I like her

She’s gonna move Trixie’s shit, uh oh

I still don’t GET WHY IS SHE TAKING PATSY’s BED? Patsy is gonna be tight when she comes back like wtf

OMG ANGELA IS SO PRECIOUS

WHEN WILL SHE SPEAK THOUGH??

BUT AH SHELAGH MY BBY! & the cute nightgown from South Africa! 💕😉😏 we should be grateful for it

Aw Reggie, wait omg his mother is gonna die 😭

Phyllis loves that Valerie is punctual, are we surprised?

“Our own mother to be” finally some acknowledgment that Shelagh’s pregnant

YIKES those teeth.

Lol Dr Turner can diagnose almost everything

I still want Trixie’s pjs!

turn up with all the food

Trixie teasing I love it, but I also lowkey wish she meant it. I’m indifferent towards Valerie for now tho so I’ll chill

Helen is so flawless I cry

But they are all literally me I don’t care if the cookies are broken pass them over here 🙋🏼

Reggie is precious aw

If reggie’s mother dies right now I’ll cry

Tom is actually preaching in church haha, I feel like he never does that

I’ve heard this hymn woah lol

NO NOT IN CHURCH,  YOU REALLY GONNA BE LIKE THAT @ GOD?

now they have to tell Reggie omg I can’t

“.. when my mum comes back from seeing God” My freaking heart omg

my chest just hurts, everything hurts. This is so sad

Violet is so 60s wearing blue eyeshadow though haha

Sister MJ delivered Valerie with sister E 😭omg rip😭😭

Reggie has the plant in his bed my heart again ah it hurts

Sister Winifred is HYPE af that Dr Turner asked her aww

I used to think she was annoying but now I think she’s hilarious and deserves more screen time. Also she has some of the best cringey faces don’t @ me

SHELAGH SINGING AW AND HER BUMP IS SO BIG OMG SO CUTE. SHE LOOKS SO GOOD AND SAYS SHE FEELS SO HEALTHY AND ENERGETIC AND IM SO HAPPY

THEY NEED TO MOVE! BUT WHERE?

YES SHE CAN COME BACK YO WORK

aw Fred and Violet and Reggie

PREGNANT SHELAGH IN HER UNIFORM I LOVE IT😭why does this fictional pregnancy make me so happy? It’s actually horrible af I’m more excited for this fictional character to give birth than for my cousin - she’s the first grandkid to have a baby and I’m like “oh cool” 😂

I’m also so glad when shelagh interacts with other main/recurring characters

When am I getting a cute scene with Shelagh and the nurses?

Oh no Reggie got locked out, but that was such an honest mistake, like you know how many times I’ve been locked out my apartment in nyc?? too many

What is this toothbrush song though? Lol it’s gonna get stuck in my head

Sister Winifred is in her element haha, even Trixie scolding her and she doesn’t even care she’s enjoying herself

Tell ’ em trix

Alright .. this dentist is hella attractive😍 not gonna lie

Doesn’t mean I’ll like him though lmaoo

Fuck yea Trixie, you gotta get your work done

“No one likes dentists” I love u Beatrix

 There’s been a few “that’s what she said” opportunities but i don’t think it’s appropriate to mention😂 whoops sorry for the dirty mind

Those boys need punched in the face

I’ll knock them tf out. It really makes me upset

Reggie looking for his mum, so heartbreaking  

I don’t mind the dentist but I get that nervous about the doctors so I feel, I’ve legit had such a bad fear of hospitals/doctors offices ever since I was young

“Your lady wife” lol I love sister MJ

shit all her teeth gotta go, how do your teeth even get like that geez?

SHELAGH LOOKING ANGELIC 😍

& the mystery is solved! She was looking at a billboard for new houses 😭

Sister MJ and Reggie is sweet

“I’m happy, but now my mums angry” Aw Reggie with Violet 😭💔

SISTER WINIFRED WATCHING PHYLLIS HARD 😂 when is she gonna ask to learn ?

Ugh there’s been little of Phyllis this episode I’m a little sad but she’s still a gem in the little time she’s on screen

Aw Dito Reggie at the funeral 💔 dios te cuide

“No harm in looking” shit there is going to be

fuck I’m not ready

Yes Dockerill isn’t Trixie a dream?

Shelagh is legit just looking in the paper & I’m still praising her😭 her dress is also pretty!

I just really love Laura Main sorry not sorry she’s a gift to us all

those teeth are disgusting

do you think they’re plastic? They look real af

LMAO THE ANESTHESIA HAS HER LOOPY AF. I’d say something else but I don’t wanna be judged 😂

“I find two opinions are better than one, particularly if one is mine” I LOVE U SISTER MJ

shit it’s going to get real omg

no don’t send Reggie here 😭 if they do I swear Ima flip

No one invited u Dockerill, but alright we shall see

SISTER MARY CYNTHIA OMG 💔💔

MY HEART IS BROKEN, I AM CRYING

SISTER MJ IS RIGHT 😪😪😪

Trixie is a gem. Helen George is also a gift to us all

Her baby is so adorable 😭

NO ELECTROSHOCK NO

this has me so fucked up, I remember this shit in mad men. The world seems like shit these days but you can’t deny we have made some improvements

holy shit this is too much but bryonny hannah deserves an award for her portrayal of mental illness

Yes Fred don’t send him 😭

Fred and Reggie in matching overalls>

wait what is Shelagh cutting out?

SISTER JULIENNE BRING SISTER MARY CYNTHIA HOME 😭😭

SISTER W BOUTTA BE RIDING DIRTY #LETSGETIT1962

Still not over Shelagh’s tummy in her nursing uniform 💕but I guess that’s the place written in the paper that she cut

Dinner for 2 👀

”My name is Beatrix, but people call me Trixie“ MY HEART, SHE SAID THAT AT AA, MY BBY HAS COME SO FAR

She still doesn’t need a man, but This could be good. I’m giving it a chance. Plus Christopher’s handsome and seems to know Trixie doesn’t play games or take any shit

PHYLLIS TEACHING SISTER WINIFRIED IS THE GREATEST THING IM HERE FOR IT

aren’t we glad the wicked bitch of the east end aka sister Ursula left bc she wouldn’t have “allowed” this

“AUNTIE VI” 💔 I’m crying

SHELAGH AND PATRICK FOUND A HOUSE OMG😭💕 also she looks so beautiful!! I’m so happy

THIS IS WHAT I LOVE. THE TURNERS HAPPY AND UNBOTHERED 😭💖 Protect them at all costs. Protect all my bbys at all costs.

But also where tf is this house? How far from everything? & rip to the og flat

“And so we let go of the hands, but not their hearts. Of the need to be needed but not the need to love” Vanessa always knows what to say

Aw the Turners again💕

Trixie slaying my life in that gold dress I’m shook 😍

For real I say it all the time but if I could be half as beautiful as Helen I’d die

Lol “if it’s French they’ll serve snails” I had escargot when I went to the French** Riviera (haha almost spelled Rivera which is my abulea’s last name) it Wasn’t that bad though! 😂 I felt classy tbh

Trixie and Babs getting ready for their dates together, I love it!! 💕

That car though! Alright Christopher I see u

Violet growing the plants omg she got so attached but like me too 😭

This was such a great episode but the feels 😭😭😭💖💔💔 brb I’m crying

Preview for next week

BRING SISTER MARY CYNTHIA HOME 2k17 / 1962 !! 💔

FGM is gonna be real shit

Trixie serving more looks!! She better not be doubting herself. bby u deserve the world

CUBAN MISSLE CRISIS! I’m a history geek & Im American so I’m here for it! Especially since I’m an education major

“We’re all going to hell in a handcart” STILL RELATABLE IN 2017 BABS

Trixie’s face is like “okay Barbara shut tf up ”!😂

Oh shit why pull the ambulance over??

UGH NOW THE LONG WEEK WAIT