#Hedone talks

[sugar-and-pearls]

Howdy ghouls, folks and dearie- ohs

My name is Hedone and I've been in this community for about three years now. I love it truly and wish never to be parted from it. But in that time I've noticed somethings. Like how it can be difficult to survive it, especially when your starting out I feel. So, to give back I made this;

This is your guide on how to make friends and survive the selfshipping community.

So with that out the way, there are some steps to survive.

Create -

In my view, self shipping is often a creative outlet as it is a comforting one. The ability to take a piece of media into my hands and shape it to my whims and will is often awe-inspiring. I'll admit it's easier to see it with other people than with ourselves.

So with this in mind - start off small, though if you want to go guns blazing you can do that too. It doesn't have to be a lot. If you feel embarrassed, don't be. If you are afraid then don't worry cus your definitely not alone there.

Often times it helps to make a promo. This way people who find you can know some quick facts; your title, your fos and any other bits of info you wish to give. Most people will want to know if you share an fo or not - whether this is in case they are uncomfortable with share or want to know if your comfortable with sharing. Whether you are or not is your choice.

'this user' boxes are a fun way to decorate and tell people about yourself. If your worried about how it looks, then make another one, there's no limit unless you make one. Some people make Cards for it. If that's intimidating, don't worry boo, this is Tumblr - you do you.

My first real post was about what it would be like my mind was like a house and what which fos would stay and which ones would come and go. I posted it three years ago and in all that time it has gotten 16 notes on it. Does that mean that I shouldn't have created it? no, no it doesn't. Because when I read it it makes me happy.

Do a gush post, make art, start 'reblog with your f/o' game, write stories, make a moodboard - start the flow on those creative juices.

interact -

I've seen a lot of people be nervous about talking to new people and I can tell you, I feel the same. Its daunting, talking to someone new and it can be awkward wading through the small talk. Most people are in the same boat as you; nervous and wishing to talk about their fos.

Instead of focusing on being popular, try and make friends instead, its much much more emotionally fulling than the first option. Find people with fos in the same source, and try and build it up from there. You'll find your weridos eventually - you just got to sieve though the rest first. You don't have to be best pals with everyone on there but be friendly.

If you recognise a character, why not send an ask? If you have a mutual in mind, why not try and talk with them? Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Doing content trades is a great way to interact with people (and boo if your worried or don't think your content is very good, don't be - we're all evolving here). Also if you can or just like to draw, you can make fanarts for a selfship you like or would like to be your mutual - like I said before, everyone on here just wants to talk about their fos here, all that is needed is a small push first.

With that in mind not everyone you talk to is going to like you, or interact the same way you do. Everyone has a style to themselves and that's ok - the trick is find someone who has the same, or a similar style as you. Even though we are interacting through a screen, remember that there is another person behind that screen; ask them how they're doing, what they're up to, if anything positive happen in their life.

Also be careful about the kinds of people you want to befriend- do they give back what you give first? Do they share your joy? You're bound to find many you click with, just be patient and don't give up - you got this 👍😊👍

Make Friends From All Walks Of The Community -

You'll never know who you're fandom buddy will be - Antis, proships, all are people and all have a different flavour to one another. Its up to you to pick. I've found that to survive here you have to lay roots. No man is an island after all. If you don't agree with a someone's ship or like it doesn't cost much to just be polite. Being considerate and kind to other people's selfships goes a long way round here.

Insecurity

Its pretty easy to feel intimidated by other's success. feeling like their ships are being validated while yours aren't (trust me here - I know what I speak of) but here's what you have to remember: We're all just people daydreaming about fictional characters - No one is better than you and you f/os will always love you!

This is one of the many reasons why building a foundation of fellow weridos is important, its good to have a someone that your able to lean on and vice versa.

But main point here is that no matter what, no one can take away your fos love for you nor your love for them. And if they try, flip them the 🖕 cus we don't give a 🦆

Karma -

I see a few newbies do this where they go onto someone's blog, reblog a game but not send in an ask from that game. If you reblog an ask game off of someone, sent in an ask from that game. Every little helps and it spreads the love around.

Tumblr is not like Instagram, likes are not the currency here. Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Leave a comment in the tags about the things you like or what you felt like when you saw it, send in an ask about their post.

Remember that even though we are interacting through a screen, there is another person behind that screen; Wishing for the same things as you do.

Take Breaks

It can be tiring on here, takes up a lot of energy so taking breaks can be good for you.

It's not like your fos are going to run away the second you turn your back - come away from Tumblr for a bit and reconnect with the outside, touch some grass, take a walk outside for a while. Its can be for as long as you like. I usually find that I like to take these breaks when I have things planned, so like if I'm going somewhere or have a thing planned I generally just try and stay off Tumblr for as long as I can, till I really want to.

If you feel like your abandoning your fos then why not take them with you? what would they say when your outside? How would they react? What would you say back? things like that.

Like with many of my posts, I doubt it will get much attraction. But if one person sees it and it helps them, then that's my dues paid, my contribute made. A very special thank you to @echoes-lighthouse @wisemins @hibiscus-ships @tex-treasures @missnaunet @vanilla-ending, @multyshipping for all your tips and helps with making this post.

With that said, thank you for reading this and if you never see me again

Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry met Again.

[sugar-and-pearls]

Come and be welcome, my name is Hedone but you can call me River or Spike if you so please.

I am a Scottish goth who is in her early twenties and is in love with stories and her F/OS. Think of me as your friendly and strangely whimsical fae like mutual.

I like and follow from my main blog @hedone26. I don’t mind sharing, so if we do please drop on by. I love meeting new people so don’t be afraid to drop a little ask in the letterbox, or to submit something if you wish. My F/O list here, my list of my S/i’s here and am always free to do some art trades. I also have a small collection of stories here.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)

im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in

[sugar-and-pearls]

For Mayu and Inuyasha

[sugar-and-pearls]

I keep coming back to this image of Touya and for some reason it makes me so sad when I see it. its bittersweet to think about what could have happened, what should have happened to him.

What would it be like for him? In a world where he got the help and support and love that he needed? Where his childhood dream actually came true? Where Touya became a Hero? How different would he be to how his canon counterpart is?

Its a bitter pill to swallow, that single What if.

And the saddest thing is that we'll never know and it just makes me want to cry so bad when you compare it to what happened to him in canon.

The way hero Touya’s costume is a mix of his dad’s (the innerwear and the gears) along with his signature coat like the one he wears as a villain too (he’s got style, duhh) MAN he would’ve been the coolest hottest hero ever omfggg

Credits to nagatomo1565 on twitter

[sugar-and-pearls]

For Oliver and Richard @sincerely-bats

[sugar-and-pearls]

For Madison and William, a web weave

[realtieswithryye]

♡ ⠀⠀ ⌣ ⠀ ৶⠀ . The Hedonic Treadmill and Reality Shifting a/n : also yes i know i have been inactive but uh.. that's changing!!

When it comes to reality shifting, a lot of people (myself included!) can get caught up in chasing that next big shift—whether it’s to a desired reality (DR), manifesting an ideal life, or constantly searching for the next goal. It's easy to think, "Once I get there, everything will be perfect." But, just like in the hedonic treadmill theory, no matter what reality we shift into, our mind will eventually adjust to the excitement and newness, and we could find ourselves back at our emotional starting point.

Why? Because external realities—no matter how amazing—don’t necessarily change our internal emotional state in the long term. We might shift to a reality where everything we want is possible, but eventually, our mind adapts, and we’re left searching for the next thrill or change.

♡ ⠀⠀ ⌣ ⠀ ৶⠀ . How to Break the Cycle in Reality Shifting

The goal isn’t just to keep hopping between realities in search of happiness, but to cultivate inner stability and fulfillment wherever we go. Here are some ways you can break the cycle while shifting:

꒰ 𓂃 Focus on Inner Growth Instead of solely focusing on the external features of the reality you want to shift to, start by strengthening your inner mindset. Work on self-awareness, mindfulness, and personal growth so that when you do shift, you're bringing a strong and balanced mindset with you.

꒰ 𓂃 Practice Gratitude Gratitude is a game-changer for shifting out of the hedonic treadmill. By appreciating the small joys in each reality, you train your mind to find contentment in the present moment, instead of constantly searching for the next thrill. Whether you're in your CR (current reality) or DR, gratitude grounds you.

꒰ 𓂃 Understand Your Emotional Baseline Recognize that no matter which reality you're in, your emotions are cyclical, and you will adapt to new highs. Instead of chasing temporary highs, embrace the process of shifting as a tool for growth, not just an escape from dissatisfaction.

꒰ 𓂃 Set Meaningful Intentions Shift with purpose. Instead of focusing purely on the excitement or aesthetics of your dream reality, ask yourself: What will this shift help me learn? or How will this shift support my personal evolution? Meaningful intentions create lasting fulfillment.

꒰ 𓂃 Balance Between Realities Don’t get caught up in trying to live in one “perfect” reality. Remember, each reality—current or dream—has something to offer. Finding balance between them, and understanding that shifting is a journey, helps break the cycle of constantly seeking new highs.

[sugar-and-pearls]

Happy birthday, my darling spiderlily; it is so marvelous to have watched you slowly but surely add another petal each year. I still remember when you first arrived, just an adorable bud, so shy and nervous but full of so much potential.

Now here you are, radiant as a harvest moon. Regardless of what anyone would try to tell you--individual or society-- do not ever forget that so long as you live and love yourself and others, you can never stop blooming.

- Morticia A.

[sugar-and-pearls]

Hmmm. For me its pretty half and half I would say, for a few I would say I had more of a choice. Like I could put the feelings away and they would disappear. For others, nah not happening.

Romantically? I would probably say Dabi

Self shippers...a questions for you. Did you like. Choose who you "liked" or was it more like a curse being placed upon you

And also who is your Main self shipping guy (<- gender neutral)

[m1ckeys-3lite]

I'm supposed to write a few sentances about my favourite book for my english class. Uhh, but what if I write it about my favourite piece of fiction?

[derangedrhythms]

Desires as round as peaches bloom in me all night,

Anne Carson, Short Talks; from ‘Short Talk On Hedonism’

[emotional-moss]

thinking about how aziraphale is so much more An Angel in every sense than all of the others. angels are not meant to be cold, sterile beings with icy eyes and glaring white clothes, rigorous orders to be followed and eternal preparation for a war. angels are supposed to be full of love, not superficial love from afar, but deep love for the simple nature of the earth. they are supposed to be full of light, not the glaring and acrid LEDs of heaven, but the mellow and bright warmth of a sunny river. they are meant to indulge in pleasure. what is more angelic than pleasure? what is more holy than pleasure? if one’s body is a sacred temple, keeping it spotless and untouched and barred from any connection is not taking care of it. that is isolation. the act of giving oneself pleasure, indulging in things that make you feel good, that is how you keep the temple of your body nourished. that is holy. and this is why aziraphale is truly more of an angel than the rest can claim to be. dancing and eating good food and talking and wearing nice clothes and reading books and having a drink, whatever it is, he knows. he knows the nature of pleasure to be holy, and he knows that it can never be wrong. he is so close to humanity, he is so close to god. he is The Angel.

[gxlden-angels]

I don't know entirely how to explain this, but I think an important part of healing from religious trauma is learning about substance use disorders and shifting your views on drugs to neutral

[neige-leblanche]

umb. mutuals can you venmo me some american cheese we only have cheddar in the house & i want to grill a cheese

[sugar-and-pearls]

This seems fun to do! I have a few new si’s, you can find all my si over here 

ask game: self insert lore

because i love developing my self inserts and their role within canon i figured there should be an ask game for it!

1. what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

4. would you be considered a main character, side character, villain, or something else?

5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?

6. does your self insert have any pets?

7. would any other characters (besides your f/o) have a crush on your self insert?

8. what is your self insert’s orientation?

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

10. how do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

11. what kind of outfit(s) does your self insert wear?

12. how would the fandom view your character?

13. does your self insert have any information about their family?

14. what hobbies does your self insert have?

15. how does your self insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.