#Heart rate bad :)))
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wild life episode one: wow, six lives seems kinda excessive. how deadly do they expect these wild cards to be?
wild life episode two: oh.
wild life episode three: OH.
#we're on episode THREE and things are already falling apart this badly#this episode alone took out nearly a THIRD of the total hearts on the server#unless i'm being bad at math#if we continue at this rate next episode is the finale lmao#life series#life smp#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#trafficblr#koolmathgames.com
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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>be a webcomic
>decent popularity and critical support from the fans at the start
>immediate drop in quality over next bunch of updates
>fans hate it
>gets so bad writers and artists are harassed to the point of leaving the team
>endless controversies between writers acting shitty on their personal Twitter account to fans to accusing discord mods of being 4Chan nazis
>comic loses half its funding 8 months in
>bimonthly updates 4 months in return to the sluggish once a month updates from the start
>pause 14 months into the comic’s intended 5 year run.
>announce a month later indefinite hiatus
>radio Silence for THREE YEARS AND NINE MONTHS
>be almost 4 year anniversary of the webcomic’s start, 17 days away to be exact
>drop 4 DOZEN pages
>new director
>new writers union
>new EVERYTHING even the title of the comic changed
>the “it’s so over” from the fandom supercharges back into “we are so fucking back”
>its name is enough to scare half this website into shock
>look at tags
#homestuck#homestuck^2#homestuck beyond canon#james roach#we are so fucking back bros#this might actually be good#upd8#holy shit#my heart rate doubled#just seeing homestuck tweet#dont dissapoint me james#is john okay#i love you john#i hope nothing bad ever happens to you again
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TAEMIN | Criminal ✦ Metamorph
#shinee#taemin#lee taemin#criminal#metamorph#analook#(i'm sorry i feel bad doing this to you 🔥🚑)#lets just say my heart rate went up to 110 bpm during this part of the concert 🤪🥴#i blame gym bunny minho#i'm still in the recovery position#flashing tw#my.gifs
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i see your tim has narcolepsy headcanon and i offer you this: he falls asleep during the titans tower attack and jason's just like. "well now what"
bonus points if it's one of those aus where jason has a conscious or pit madness or whatever and convinces himself tim must be horribly mistreated to start snoring while getting beat up and tim's struggling to get him to understand no dude it's a medical condition my grandpa had it
#i think in the field he'd have accommodations like some shock or chemical injection when his heart rate drops#idk i'm not a doctor nor a narcoleptic#i just think that “creatively coping with disabilities” and “comedic miscommunication” are some of the best tropes#leo says shit#batfam#jason todd#tim drake#the real reason he always works with ppl (bruce dick helena jpv steph cass yj) is so someone has his back when his body checks out for a bi#his signature move is called “i feel an attack coming on so i throw myself at a bad guy with my full body weight bc i am. asleep.”
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Blood On My Shirt (Heart In My Hand) 10k
"I'll go find him," Buck says, ruffling Chris' hair as he skips away. "Eds!" Buck calls. "If you don't get back here, Chim's gonna steal your cake. It's not great cake but you'll still pout about it." He rounds the corner... And his heart falls at his feet. Eddie lay face down on the floor, a pool of red growing around him and shining in the sunlight from the open doors.
[read on ao3]
For @badthingshappenbingo and for @monsterrae1 's Spooktober week 1
#911#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie fic#fanfic#911 abc#9-1-1#maggie writes#bad things happen bingo#prompt: severed artery#fic: blood on my shirt (heart in my hand)#tw blood#tw knife#buck x eddie#eddie x buck#911 fic#rated: m#Spooktober
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Sometimes when my low blood pressure or low heart rate is flaring up I get this overwhelming urge to go on a ridiculous adventure.
Like I’m barely able to walk and yet it sounds like the most wonderful thing in the world to cook a feast from scratch, drive an hour to the aquarium or volunteer at an animal shelter for a day. Of course I’m not able to do any of this but it’s tricked me in the past and I’ve ended up in some sticky situations. Now I’m able to recognize when it happens by writing it out or texting Hubbins about it bc it really does sound absurd given my current state. Now when I get the sudden urge to do something that is a lot more intensive than my regular activities I immediately “hit the breaks” and evaluate why I feel that way (and it’s never bc I’m actually feeling better). I think my brain is just desperate for a dopamine hit when it’s not getting enough blood flow.
#bad health day#health flare#disability awareness#disabled community#chronic illness community#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#dysautonomia#ehlers danlos syndrome#inflammatory polyarthritis#spondyloarthritis#gastroparesis#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#orthostatic hypotension#low blood pressure#low heart rate#medical alerts#service dogblr
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"お前は失ってばかりじゃねえ"
"you haven't only received loss"
#who wouldve guessed more 07 ghost art....#almost done with the anime now but ep 20 ish took me OUT my heart is bursting#copying the text i wrote for ig here:#i was initially going to just use the english as a caption but it really doesnt get the emotion across properly.#spent a good fifteen minutes rephrasing thr words as accurately to the original quote as possible while maintaining the intention.#affirming that he's gained so much (cherished people and experiences) along his path despite all his heartbreaking losses.#done#YEAH I KNOW frau didnt actually do this this is just my own self indulging... makes me giddy when he gets all serious and intimate#like that expression he does. im down bad for this piece of hot garbage#going off on a tangent here but hes so fucking childish sometimes when he goes to pick teito up from his exam#this idiot took the time to arrange himself leaning leisurely against the wall and having a smoke just so he could be like oh hey#i wasnt waiting or anything im just free and rebellious and i smoke bc im cool....get real idiot#i dont have any more 07ghost art atm so lets see if the remaining eps inspire me#or the manga at the rate the anime seems to be ending :')#07 ghost#my art
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Hey y'all! I am thinking about trying to get back in the habit of hitting the punching bag* more regularly, both because I used to love practicing martial arts and because I am hoping it will help turn slow tigers into fast tigers with this one neat trick** What music do you suggest to hit/kick a punching bag to? So far the best song I've found for it tempo-wise is "I Was Made For Loving You" by Kiss, because the drums/bass work really well to keep me from going too fast*** *once again I am confused about what verb to use for that. Kicking? Attacking? Practicing with???? **aka that one post about ending a physiological stress response by tricking your brain into thinking you'd defeated a short term stressor like a tiger ***because of the sodium Georg issues my heart likes to go fast and if I punch too much too fast it goes too fast and then I have to sit down and the metaphorical tigers win the fight lol
#the person behind the yarn#medical mention#well. sort of? kind of obliquely mentioned but eh I use the tag so people can blacklist it if they want#I am very very bad at moderate or low intensity exercise#but I'm up to like 4 minutes ish at a time at the punching bag!#I even managed to warm up a bit before hitting it this time! (I did some jumping jacks)#but today I also went a little too much too soon and my heart rate did get a little out of hand#not dangerous! or like#the only danger I am in is of overdoing it and passing out which is only dangerous if I fall#and my bp drops slowly enough that I always have time to sit down first if I need to#so this is perhaps not my wisest possible choice of ways to exercise but treadmills are so boring
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this person wouldn’t have survived high school with me
#this person wouldn’t have survived the heart rate of a mouse.#eduardo with an ED isn’t even that bad like ppl were out there writing PLANTWARDO…..#also i saw some random tag referencing my favourite fic ever (by an old dear ex-friend i unfortunately don’t want to speak with ever again)#and it made me deeply sad. best fic of all time and i can’t ever really enjoy it again. weh#also i’m sorry like their whole account is them roleplaying rwby characters w themselves i . i can’t
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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Anxious Life: where instead of a player's colour depending on how many times they've died in game, they're all attached to a heart monitor.
The faster their heartbeat the more red they become.
Lives can be gained back by calming down back to each players respective resting heart rate, but if their heart rate ever goes above a certain number they die
I imagine there would be a lot of jumpscares and people trying to freak each other out
Forget killing each other in game, I think this would kill me irl /nsrs
#do you know how hard it is to keep my heart rate level whilst playing minecraft HASJDKHSAKJDA#bad traffic idea#ask#trafficblr
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is anyone else using alcohol as a painkiller or is it just me and house out here
#text#I DONT LIKE HOW MUCH I HAVE IN COMMON WITH HIM .#thats the only way im ever able to go out. i pregame so i can get to the bar 😭#tipsy at 8pm so i can get to the restaroau(realizes i cant spell that word) food place so i can spend $14 on a martini#so i can go to the club without collapsing on the ground crying#1 shot of titos for fun. another so i can get back to my friend's house#then i uber home. so i dont have to wake up and pretend im not in pain and agony and my heart rate isnt 130+ til i get home#<- this all happened on a specific night in like september btw.#man. i miss the rage...#well the rage was really bad for my bank account. and my body. and the bpd allegations. but still#its so nice. to have like a couple hours where i can walk around and have fun with my friends#and not send myself home bc i know its a bad idea to Do these things to my body#im able to block out the pain for a while So i do. and i have fun#And then the next morning i go fuck i cant ever do that again.and then i stay in bed all day#but its fun in the moment its so much fun in the moment#alcohol tw#i dont have like. A Problem btw Slash Genuine i just like going out with my friends and dont like being in pain#two for one deal. price of 1 stomachache and lots of pain later#neg#health tag#hlb
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ever since I was a little girl I knew I would be ostracized from my peers and, by accident and without knowing why, cultivate a life for myself in which I don't know how to interact with other people in any capacity without being supremely uncomfortable and self-conscious.
#i just. yknow.#that thing about how peers at school knew you were autistic before you did#like i truly think everyone knew something was different and wrong with me just. intrinsically.#and then it became a self-fulfilling prophecy#because people didnt hang out with me so i didnt learn people skills#so now i dont know how to have friends and am really bad at it because i never learned#so now social situations are always uncomfortable and i dont want to put myself in them and no one wants to interact with the girl-#who's just sitting there not saying anything with the resting heart rate of a shaking chihuahua.
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yahoo
#sometimes i just get really happy about my health<3#my heart rate is about a third of what it used to be resting#which is so so so good#the more often we walk and exercise the better it gets too#i think its in a healthy range now which is fantastic#my heart rate used to be so fast at complete rest its a genuine surprise to me that bad things didnt happen#like#papapapapapapapapapa when i was laying completely comfortably in bed#now its like pat.. pat.. pat.. pat.. pat..#fantastic! =D#i feel so good#like physically i just feel so good#i dont hear or feel my heart anymore and it used to be constant in a way that made me so scared all the time#none of the idle pain really its all gone now! none of the swelling none of the fever#its so nice#ive never been so at peace in my life
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I don’t usually post stuff like this but I just had the absolute hell scared out of me so if you see this post going around like I did, be warned that the link attached to it links you to an alternate reality game/jumpscare thing with no warning on the post itself (op tagged it though). I’m sure it’s fun for people who like that stuff, but I do not 😭
#this feels like such a silly thing to post about#but idc it spiked my heart rate and I had to take a second afterwards#it was bad for me personally lol#great post! great link! just not for people like me skskdkdk#10/10 very effective
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