#He's very supportive though! His hubby deserves it...

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Takaaki while putting on his binder: Hm, I'm thinking of saving whatever money I can for my top surgery...

Taichi: Whatever you want to do, Dear. I'll be with you along the way.

Taichi, mentally: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[russellsppttemplates]

Since we know our favorite papaya gamer boy is gonna be a dad for the third time, how about his wife being afraid of things taking a bad turn in this third pregnancy because of her last one, and Lando admitting he's afraid too, but they're gonna do everything in their power to make things smooth this time around?

Love me an protective attentive hubby!

Cw: reader is pregnant, mentions worries associated with pre-eclampsia, prematurity and themes associated with them

"I can tell something is worrying you - you have that frown line Fraser has on his forehead too", Lando nodded as he rubbed your feet and ankles since they had swelled a bit lately.

"What if I can't be a good home for this baby, too?", you asked as Lando quirked an eyebrow at you, "Fraser had to come earthside earlier because my blood pressure was a mess, and before that I spent days in hospital trying to make sure he had the least amount of deficits possible. What if I can't carry to term this time around either?", you whispered the last part, almost like if you said it any louder, it was bound to happen straight away.

"I'm scared too, my love", Lando spoke after gathering his thoughts, "but we are doing what we can to make sure this baby cooks for as long as they have to before coming to us - we're having extra appointments to check with everything, we're being active and healthy, I'm also travelling as less as I possibly can, and we have both of our parents coming here for help on a schedule so you don't stress out so much - I know you'll never admit it because you think it's a dirty expression, but those two?", he pointed in the direction of the kids' bedrooms, "they're definitely my children because of the chaos they cause and it's stressful. I love them to death - I'd do anything for them -, but, my word, is it hard sometimes?!", he giggled as you nodded in agreement, "I'd never want you to feel all the parenting stress on your own, it's not good any other time and it's especially not good when you're carrying our little one", he smiled, kissing just above your baby bump.

"I just want to be a safe home for them", you rubbed your babybump.

"And you are, Y/N, their first home and the safest of them all - and even though I'm not wishing for it, if it happens again, we know we can handle it and most of that is because your such a strong woman", he praised as he sat next to you and held your hand in his, "we're in this together and you can always come to me whenever these scary thoughts come around", he kissed your lips.

"Thank you", you whispered again, pecking his lips.

"That's not a nice greeting, I deserve better, gorgeous girl", he smirked, supporting himself on his arms while carefully hovering over you while he was able to, "you deserve better, and apparently they say this can be very relaxing and lower your blood pressure so you're in for a fine night", he said as he stole a proper kiss from your lips.

(Thank you for sending this in ✨���)

[mr-stottlemonk]

I LOOOVE your blog, I'm watching Monk for the first time and I'm in love with Leland and Adrian <3 . Also I really love the aesthetic of your blog <3 I don't know if you have been asked this before but.. which stottlemonk scene would you say is underrated and why? :p

aww, hehe :3. THANK YOU DEAR <333. sksks, i'm ngl, i didn't try much with the aesthetic so i'm glad it looks pretty enough.

ohh!!! welcome to the fandom/series brain rot then <3!! i'm glad you're enjoying it; it's definitely a gem of a series that deserves all the love and attention!

It is so hard not to love both of them so hell yeah, join the club dear.

*long post so more under the cut!

i haven't been asked this! i think... but i'll answer repeat questions anyway, so no problemo there. ANYWAY, let's see... underrated episode huh. i have a couple actually: Mr. Monk and The Missing Granny [S02E13], Mr. Monk and The Other Detective [S04E01], Mr. Monk Stays In Bed [S04E03], Mr. Monk and The Big Game [S05E03], Mr. Monk and The Class Reunion [S05E06], Mr. Monk and The Bad Girlfriend [S06E04] and Mr. Monk and The Magician [S07E15].

Okay, let's dive into it. With Mr. Monk and The Missing Granny there's that scene where he's just finished taking his test (not really lol) and he's locked himself inside Leland's office. it's very short, if you blink it you miss (i just spotted it like,, a couple of days ago during a re-watch) but he's trying to coax Adrian to open the door and he, so very fucking softly, says: "Adrian." before launching into this small, supportive spiel -> his constant support, even in slivers, of Adrian is so freaking beautiful.

With Mr. Monk and The other Detective. it's more funny "guilty hubby energy" than cute. he looks so GUILTY giving the job over to Marty Eels. like, pls. like @s-misaki once said:

the utter act of betrayal mixed with guilt he must be feeling towards Adrian lolol

In Mr. Monk Stays In Bed. I just liked the little scene of where Leland is Adrian's bedroom... that's it. lol. BUT THIS ALSO REMINDS ME. in Mr. Monk and The Very, Very Old Man - Leland was sitting in Adrian's bed and i'm just like??? ADRIAN?? he's sitting in your bed... gosh, i giggled sm. like sure, he'll probably change the sheets - but there's that hint of him always feeling like Leland is one of his 'safe' people. Physical Touch, closeness, sharing things is tough but it's there!!!

the little football rugby match in Mr. Monk and The Big Game has like,,, quarter of my heart (the rest have been divided lol) - cause?? the?? trust?? teamwork?? is SO NATURALLLL. ahhhhh.

the main thing that blew my mind in Mr. Monk and The Class Reunion was how Leland drove all the way (sure, it was for a case) but i'm just,, he would go anywhere on earth for Adrian, wouldn't he. it's so freaking heart-warming idek (╥_╥)♥️.

Mr. Monk and The Bad Girlfriend,, that ep,, i swear. it was just. it was a good hint of how Leland sometimes DOES get fed up of Adrian and how Adrian always wants the best for Leland. it was equally heart-warming and heart-breaking. the underrated scene there though was how Leland shoved Adrian...

it's a very raw moment where the both of them do not seem to get along at all because they want something good and dont see it right in front of them *cough*... and it's just,, Leland's words there: "I have what you want..."

like gahhh, it's visceral if you come think about it. they never want to hurt each other but sometimes what you want isn't what you get and you have to settle and look for something else to fill in the gaping hole :).

Mr. Monk and The Magician is simply me loving Leland wanting to toss anyone out the window and smash them in the face for even hurting a hair on Adrian or loosing sight of him. What a man, XD.

anyway, WOW. i feel like i rambled off your ear here (for sure lol) more than you likely expected me to >,>.

thank you for the ask dear 💕💕!!! i absolutely love rambling about every scene i can get my hands on <3.

[tillthelandslide]

We've Got Forever After All: Ross Macdonald Instagram AU

A/n: so I got this request a little while ago (sorry for taking a long time to complete it) but I decided to make it into an Instagram concept, hope that's okay. I know it's not exactly what you asked for but I hope you enjoy anyway ❤️

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @theoriginalwhatsername (if you want to be added please just drop me a message 🫶🏼)

the1975updates:

the1975updates Ross looking fine in this video I found... Him and Hann are also spotted with a mystery girl, no clues on who she is / her relation to the boys, but let's just be happy for them regardless 🫶🏼

yourinstagram:

yourinstagram my love ❤️

Liked by rass1975, trumanblack and 32,819 others

75fan is this a soft launch?

yourbestfriend who's this then?

-> yourinstagram oh sush

yourinstagram:

yourinstagram my love is home 🥹 never been happier... If only he wasn't away being a rockstar all the time (jk of course, proud of you baby 🫶🏼)

Liked by rass1975, trumanblack, bedforddanes75 and 32,719 others

trumanblack oi oi

bedforddanes75 sexy....

75fan omg omg omg I can't deal.... My husband is not.. my husband? He's taken 😭 (happy for him)

yourinstagram:

yourinstagram hello there handsome @rass1975 fellow Ross girlies: you're welcome ❤️

Liked by rass1975, charli_xcx, jamieoborne and 43,719 other

75fan doing the gods work and we thank you 🙏

the1975updates you really do be feeding us... Thank you 🫶🏼

rass1975:

rass1975 .... Surprise?

Happiest & luckiest man alive. I promise to love you forever @yourinstagram forever the best thing that's ever happened to me

Liked by yourinstagram, trumanblack, 1975adam, bedforddanes75, charli_xcx and 472,729 others

🔔 yourinstagram shared this to her stories

yourinstagram I am and always will be the lucky one Mr Macdonald, I love you endlessly and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you ❤️

-> rass1975 I love you more Mrs MacDonald ❤️

trumanblack I'm still crying 😭 the happiest for you

charli_xcx still mad you beat us to it, but it was a truly beautiful day and I couldn't be happier for you both @rass1975 @yourinstagram

bedforddanes75 about time, so happy for you both

1975adam join the club 😊 happy for you both

jamieoborne the best ❤️

yourinstagram:

yourinstagram from the moment this man stepped into my life I knew I was the luckiest person alive. I am so unbelievably happy to be able to call myself your wife... Thank you for loving me for all my crazy (including being obsessed with you) and for making me laugh until I cry, for being the most supportive partner and for filling my life with love... I love you so much Mr Macdonald ❤️

To my fellow Ross girlies: thank you for all the beautiful messages, your support has always made us smile and continues to do so to this day. Don't worry, I will still be posting Ross content for you and there will be a lot of it, we've got forever after all....

Liked by trumanblack, bedforddanes75, rass1975, yourbestfriend and 87,819 others

rass1975 I love you my beautiful fan girl wife ❤️

↳ yourinstagram I love you more

trumanblack ❤️

bedforddanes75 the best couple

1975adam an amazing day for the best people I know

charli_xcx my best friend married my bfs best friend!!

75fan I can die happy

75stan no one more deserving of being his wife

yourinstagram:

yourinstagram @rass1975 doing what he does best 🫶🏼 love you hubby

Liked by rass1975, jamieoborne, jwaughsaxophone and 87,791 others

rass1975 a true Ross girl ❤️

↳ yourinstagram absolutely HUSBAND! I do have your last name now....

fan1 HE LOOKED SO GOOD WTF

↳ yourinstagram i know right!!! Not fair is it?

fan3 love that she was at side stage, she waved at us at one point, was very sweet... He killed us though, I mean just look at him, fine as hell....

↳ yourinstagram I would've been down there with you screaming over him if I could! He did indeed look fine as hell

75fan the way you interact with fans makes me so happy... You're just as obsessed as us!

↳ yourinstagram absolutely ❤️

[happy-beeeps]

so I'm obsessed with your echo fic like almost got me crying. I NEED MOREEEE I WANNA SEE WHAT HES LIKE AS A HUBBY AND DAD PLSSSSSSS YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING AND ILYSM 💙🖤❤️

AHHH YOURE SO KIND THANK YOU😭❤️🫶🥰

I’m actually working on part 2 of the echo fic! So as to not give too much away I’ll give you some of my headcanons on husband!echo!! (Also this is my first headcanons post I’m so sorry if it’s awful)

First and foremost, this man would work himself into a tizzy making sure your proposal is PERFECT

he’s got all these plans because you deserve them, but then the second he’s gonna start he freaks himself out, like he’ll get ready and then be like,,, wait ahaha ha ahaha ahaha

He still has a lot of self worth issues but everyday they get better and better because of the love you and his brothers send his way!

Because of this, even though by the second time you know what’s happening, you try and be gentle with him, it’s very endearing

When he finally asks you, it’s so spur of the moment

Y’all are on some ridiculously beautiful system after a mission and he just looks at you and is like “yep. This is it.”

And that’s basically what he says! (You say yes obviously)

You guys don’t have a super blown out wedding ceremony, in fact, you guys exchange some vows right then and there and he comms Rex over to officiate it (that feels like something a captain can do?)

Afterwards, you guys go on an impromptu mini honeymoon to Pabu to see the rest of your family (and because omega would kill you if you didn’t celebrate with her)

Pabu is perfect, and you spend your days eating fresh caught dinner and fruits and lounging on crystal clear water

You’ve always been a part of Echo’s family, but there’s something warmer about being officially a part of it

Echo is like the most supportive and doting husband

He’s the guy who’s like “yes!! Fuck them up honey!!! That’s my spouse!!!” And then the second things start going south he jumps in

He’s going to protect you with every fiber of his being, but he respects you enough to know that you’re a tough cookie

He’s suchhhh a cuddle bug, like, holoflic nights on the couch are his love language

Dad!echo

At first he’s apprehensive about having kids

Let’s be so real, you’ve already begun mothering Omega, and this isn’t really the safest time to be bringing kids into the world

If you’re having biological kids, I feel like the baby would be a ✨welcome surprise ✨

Otherwise it happens quick either way, there’s a little baby in Pabu who needs parents, and you and Echo just know it’s the perfect situation

He’s all in the second it becomes reality for him

Like… baby bjorn every day, painting the nursery

You cannot separate this man from his child

You know how Din brings Grogu everywhere? Echo vibes.

Like this man is walking through Pabu in the most dad outfit ever and the baby strapped to his chest

Omega looooves having a little baby to hangout with, and she plays with the baby any chance she gets

One time you caught him going through old holos of his brothers, he’s so ready to tell your child stories about Uncle Fives

BONUS: Uncle Rex comes over all the time when you’ve settled on Pabu, and it’s really not uncommon to see the two of them standing around the house with their hands on their hips trying to figure out new DIY projects

At the end of the day, Echo see’s you and the baby as his second chance, his gift at a new life. He doesn’t waste a day and wants to shower you both with all the love he can (which you happily reciprocate)❤️

[shootertron-stuff]

Was talking to @repro-man and got the idea of my Black Legionnaire, sometimes called "Ludwig Pregnancy Fetish",

(forced pregnancy, captivity, noncon, childbirth, trauma bonding)

timing the pregnancies of his captive Imperial Space Marines so that there's one giving birth each month. He has at least 12 wives.

That way, he gets to enjoy Space Marines at different stages of pregnancy year-round and has the option of watching one give birth each month. Maybe it's not so regular because Space Marine fertility rates are lower than baseline humans'. Not to mention the genetic fuckery at play causing higher than usual pregnancy losses. But, semi-regular births. Like concerts playing at the big auditorium each month but he is allowed to jerk off during them.

He's very busy so I imagine he can't be there for the entire labor. That's what midwives are for. The wives can also support each other - being Space Marines, they easily retain knowledge on best birth practices. But even if it's only for an hour, he tries to be supportive while he's visiting, telling the wives they look so sexy giving birth. Holding their hands, trying to make them orgasm so the birth goes easier. Encouraging them to push. Bringing them snacks during and after.

The wives are mainly irritated and disgusted at him because Mr. Ludwig Pregnancy and Birth Fetish is a pervert who won't leave them alone. It's hard to break them out of the "HERESY!" reflex...though obviously that isn't the only problem they have with being breeders.

He has a favorite, Clothilde. Imperial Fist who gets cum-brained from giving birth. He's their #1 fan. He will set time aside to watch the entire thing whenever they're in labor. Maybe he brings an e-tablet to work on warband paperwork. It's hard to do paperwork when his favorite person is in front of him being sexy so he ends up not getting anything done.

"Time spent with you is never wasted," he says.

Clothilde describing all of this to their adult kids and, due to being a person who gives their love to people who don't deserve it, defending their husband, saying that even though he's overbearing he cares about them.

They low-key buy into hubby's excuses that the Space Marine breeding program is necessary to keep his warband strong and the people of the Tellucid Sector he semi-rules over safe (Imperial type thinking). More Marines sent to the Black Legion = more material support from Abaddon.

[seiyasabi]

Could I have yandere la squadra with a single mom who were left by cheater husband, she is gave birth not too long and live alone without anyone. He worried that her and babies are not safe, they are weak, fail, could break easily, even can't defense themselves.

He kept eyes on her and make sure that she was safe until she gave birth, and making sure that cheater won't comes near her and babies ever again.

Sure :)) I haven't done La Squadra for a min

Yan La Squadra x Pregnant Reader w Cheater ex S/O HCs:

Risotto:

-Probably meets u before ur even pregnant

-He likes how nice you are to him, even tho he looks scary as hell

-So, when you end up sitting on a park bench, crying your eyes out, he's there to comfort you

-He'll bring you to his apartment, keeping a strong arm around you as you sob into his side

-He is a little upset that you're pregnant by somebody else, but it makes sense that it was ur husband who got you pregnant

-Even tho he's calm on the outside... he's fuming

-How dare that scum cheat on you and then leave you? Doesn't he know how much of a catch u are?

-Swears to provide for you and your babies, and he does

-Will go to all of your appointments w u, scaring the crap out of the medical professionals

-Will also make that ex and his mistress disappear- neither deserve to live after what they did to you

-He's so protective over u, not allowing u to do anything outside of the house or anything too labor intensive

-Once u give birth, he can't help but dote on the two of you, even though he's stony faced the entire time

Prosciutto:

-You were a waitress at a fancy restaurant he normally attended

-You were always the nicest and well trained of the wait staff, leading to him requesting you every time he came to the restaurant

-You two quickly became friends, so when you broke the news that you were pregnant, he was happy but upset

-But, he still supported you and your happiness... until your husband publicly humiliated you

-Apparently, the man didn't even know what restaurant you worked at, leading him to bring his mistress to your work place, where you were currently serving one of your closest friends

-You broke down into tears, hand cradling your medium sized bump, as the man you loved nonchalantly claimed you were a one night stand to his mistress, explaining away you and your pregnancy

-Prosciutto and the other wait staff quickly stepped in, the blond man kindly taking you back to his home, and doting on you almost immediately

-He has you quit your job, allowing him to keep you safe inside and close to him (on his off days)

-Won't hesitate to take on the father role, vowing to love anything that came from you

-Is a good ass dad and new hubby tbh, bc he will do literally everything for u

Melone:

-Notices you when you're pregnant

-You're about 6 months along, tummy very prominent

-He'd met you at your job during one of your shifts, and you'd become fast friends

-He visits your coffee house almost every day after that

-So, he's there when your husband's mistress comes in, throwing hot coffee in your face, and calling you a whore for 'stealing her man,' even though it's the other way around

-One of the other men in the coffee shop wrestles the woman to the floor, allowing Melone to rush to your side, pressing wet compresses to your lightly burned face

-This entire event sends you into an early birth, and Melone is with you every step of the way

-He's there during the birth, allowing you to squeeze him as hard as you need to

-Once you're finished, you allow him to cradle you to his chest, falling asleep as ur babe goes off to the NICU

-He'll act as a stand in father, slowly winning over you and your child's heart

-Once ur good and dandy, he'll get a sample and see if ur compatible w Baby Face :P

Formaggio:

-You gave him a meal on the street bc u thought he was homeless lmao

-It was sweet, and ur pretty, so he didn't mind

-But when he found out u had a husband? Damn

-And when he found out ur a near future milf? DAMN!

-He doesn't care, he ups his game, but it doesn't really work lmao

-But, once he sees that ur husband is a cheater? All bets are off the table

-He took photo after photo of them, before confronting them

-Ur pussy husband tries to bitch out, but Formaggio doesn't hold back, publicly humiliating him, before dragging him and the mistress to ur house and forcing them to admit what they did wrong

-U want to try to fix it, but ur husband is like no<3, leading him to kick u out of the house bc ur bestie beat the dog shit out of him

-But don't worry, Formaggio deep cleaned his apartment before u came over, and his cats love u the moment they meet u

-When ur baby is born, Formaggio doesn't necessarily know what to do, but he tries his best

-The cats love snoozing w the babe, always keeping them warm and alerting u when ur babe needs u

-Formaggio is totally the type to wear a baby carrier and claim them as his own

Illuso:

-Notices u when ur out shopping

-U look so self conscious as u try on maternity clothes, and ur husband is being a nasty asshole

-When ur hubby wanders away to take a phone call from his mistress, Illuso slips in, helping u find clothes that suit u and make u feel confident

-He did this at first to boost his own ego, but he can't help but like you

-U became fast friends, and on the day of ur birth, he's one of the people in the delivery room, taking the place of ur absent husband

-Ur husband missed the birth of ur child bc he was with his mistress, which u found out later during an argument

-U were completely torn up, but Illuso didn't allow u to fall into a postpartum depression

-He swallowed his pride for a minute, allowing him to dote on u in the way u deserved

-He at first was v distant from the babe, but over the first year, he couldn't help but view them as his own

-NGL, he tortured and killed ur ex in his mirror realm, all whilst u and the babe napped one day

Pesci (TW mentions of suicidal mindset)

-Nice boy is nice

-He notices u when ur sitting on the ledge of a bridge he walks on

-U just looked so ethereal, he couldn't help but approach u

-He was so concerned the moment he realised u were crying and heavily pregnant

-When he asked what was wrong, u explained that ur husband left u for his mistress, leaving u heavily pregnant without a home

-U wanted to end it all before u brought a baby into a homeless world

-It broke Pesci's heart, causing him to offer u a place to stay

-He knows that Prosciutto will be mad at him, but he can't help but help u

-After this, the two of you were inseparable

-He doted on you like crazy, trying to convince u that it was ok if u quit ur job, he'd take care of u until ur mentally ready

-U don't take off, but u appreciate him enough that you make him yummy goods

-He falls in love so fast, and he already knows that he'll love ur baby like his own

-When u give birth, he's panicking, but he stays dutifully by ur side

-Will ALWAYS take care of the baby, going so far to force u back into bed when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night

-Literally is the best one, 10/10

Ghiaccio:

-Watches the breakdown happen w his own two eyes

-You'd told ur hubby that u were pregnant at a gelato place, a cute announcement in a sweet treat

-But, he didn't react well

-He straight up yelled at u, telling u that u need to get rid of the baby bc u don't deserve to pass on his genes, and that his mistress is better than u

-It was a wild ride, and Ghiaccio refused to continue to watch it happen

-He stood up for you, practically strangling ur ex with his bare hands

-Ur husband was shamed out of the establishment, leaving a wilted you on a hard chair, gelato melting into a pitiful lump

-Ghiaccio isn't good at comforting others, but he tries to make u feel better by buying u a new gelato

-From that day on, u two became friends

-He doesn't really dote on you, but he is a comforting presence

-He is there when u give birth, and he thinks ur child is so wonderful

-Will step up immediately, practically forcing his way into ur child's life, and he is v reliable

-He's a consistent presence, and u welcome him w open arms

Sorbet and Gelato:

-It's unknown how u came upon their radar

-All u know is that they one day appeared lmao

-Ur husband dislikes them bc they always vouch for what's good for u- pointing out how he's always missing

-They find out he's cheating almost right away, allowing them to gather evidence against him

-But then.... you fall pregnant

-They don't know if it's right to tell u, but they do anyways

-They comfort u the entire time, as u wait for him to come home

-He ends up coming home w the mistress, not expecting u and ur homies to be there

-It's a shit show

-Sorbet and Gelato don't hesitate to kill them

-You're in shock, not expecting such a reaction, allowing them to drag u away

-Ur a house spouse for them after that, neither allowing u out bc they're so paranoid ab the boss

-Will only allow u to see approved doctors, and when u give birth, u do so in the bathtub lmao

-Ur pissed, but the birth was p smooth sailing

-After that, it's like y'all were together for all of ur lives

-They pretend that they're the birth fathers, never allowing u to even think ab ur ex

-They're the scariest two on here, bc they simply don't care, they'll just yoink u away the moment they're able to

[juleswritesthis]

My thoughts on 9-1-1 5x11: Outside Looking In

The episode of 9-1-1 was so good. I’m so happy and looking forward to the rest of the season!!!

I love Capt. so much. He is such an incredible captain and all around amazing guy. Any team is lucky having him as their leader. I love how well he knows his people and how much he cares. And loved the nod back to his Minnesota days.

Hen calling the subs by the day of the week. 🤣🤣🤣 She is a Queen and I just adore her. That conversation in the car with Buck was all kinds of awesome. I love their sibling type of relationship. The way she described her partnership with Chim was so sweet and so true. They really are such a great team. I wonder what’s going to happen once Chimney returns though, now that they hired a new paramedic?

Buck what in the world? How is he so clueless all the time? Also classic, trying to fix an error in judgement with another error in judgement. I can’t say I care too much about his relationship with Taylor as they never seemed to really gel very well together. But I feel really bad for her, moving in and not knowing why he asked, especially if the one time kiss with Lucy turns into more. Buck do the right thing and be honest huh.

What can I say about Athena. That lady is truly a goddess. I couldn’t love her more if I tried. She will always be my fav. That said whenever she is on call and goes in alone like this episode my heart skips a beat. I know she prefers to be solo but it’s seems so dangerous to not have a partner even if she’s a rock star! Also love Bathena with how supportive they are and how well Athena knows her hubby. Love seeing the family scenes with Harry and May. I’m just so happy they are back on my screen.

That brings us to Eddie. He’s really going to go through the wringer huh? The way he spoke to Bobby, wow that’s not really Eddie so disrespectful. The guy looked like death washed over and he expected Bobby to pull out the red carpet for his return? Dear boy is always so resistant to admit that he is hurting, scared and needs help. I really loved the first few scenes seeing his energy slowly seep away with every new day and his fake smile fade to nothing. He is not sleeping, not socializing and barely functional. Boy needs help stat. That said I adore Chris and how he said he can be brave too. Also his whole, I never told you to quit, that’s all you dad (paraphrasing)…I don’t know why that made me laugh. I‘m obviously looking forward to this story arc, and loving where it’s going so far. (Oh and the dressing down he got from Josh...well deserved but ouch!) Also loved the writers bringing back the running gag about Eddie being a terrible cook with Buck and Chris teasing him. Buck told Taylor to eat before coming to dinner 🤣🤣🤣 and Eddie figured it out immediately. Seriously love their friendship.

All in all wonderful episode and already one of my fav for the season. That Speed scene was all kinds of awesome though I was hoping Keanu Reeves would pop in 🤣🤣🤣. I love having this show back on my tv screen. Missed it so much. Now just waiting to have Chimney and Maddie return and all will be well once more….well almost. Next week looks to be incredible but emotional. I can’t wait!!!

[juminsmysticmc]

so i’ve been ghosted from one of my closest friends and could you maybe make the mc lose confidence afterwards and have more and more panic attacks because like everything seems to stress her out? if you’re okay with that i’d love to see that with all of the RFA + the trio! either way i hope you’re doing good and life’s not too hard! i love your hc‘s so so much and honestly they’re somehow my safespace! <333

RFA + Minor Trio getting ghosted by a close friend and feeling very bad because of that 

Trigger Warnings: Mention of Panic Attacks, Fears, sensitive content  

Hello baby! Thanks for your request, we already talked about this privately and I will say it again but when I actually read the request, I kind of felt ,,happy’’ that I wasn’t the only one. I always thought ( and I still believe ) that as soon as I lose a loved person it’s only me who is in pain and misses them. I hope my writings can stay being your safe space  for you and everyone, I will be always here to listen to you, I mean it. Love you! PS. These scenarios are all based on true stories and Mc is me and how I reacted.

Jumin

Your husband kept observing you.

This morning everything was alright, but suddenly you were odd, as if something switched in your head, you became distant. Your fingers didn’t stop typing on your phone screen and you seemed to tremble.

However, he didn’t want to get in your way. Maybe you were doing something important.

He reacted when you suddenly got up and walked to your shared bedroom without saying a word.

Jumin pressed his lips together and decided to just follow you.

He was happy that he did what he felt like he needed to do, because you were currently on your bed crying.

Maybe even hyperventilating or panicking.

Jumin didn’t really know. All he knew was that you were in pain and that he had to help you.

And so, your husband quickly went to the kitchen and took a bag, immediately bringing it to you to make sure that you could breathe into it.

,,Ahhhh,’’ you gasped and cried. Jumin felt so helpless as he saw your eyes turn red and teary.

He never stopped stroking your back as he observed you with sad eyes.

It took you quite a while to get better and be able to breathe again.

,,Mc,’’ he whispered. You were still hiccuping, but at least you were breathing again.

,,Sorry,’’ you whimpered.

,,I thought… I had the feeling that the air would cut my throat and I couldn’t breathe,’’ you explained.

,,Aish, what’s wrong…?’’ you asked yourself.

,,Want to tell me?’’ he asked you and tilted his head to be able to look at you and look into your eyes.

,,I- I don’t know why… but my childhood friend…’’ you began to hiccup again.

,,Everything is spinning… ahhh, Jumin, she suddenly began to ignore me, not answer my texts, and block me from social media as if she never knew me!’’ you cried.

Your tears didn’t want to stop anymore.

Jumin pulled you into his arms and hugged you with all his love.

,,I… I had such a great time lately and now my whole world is falling apart… I’m so so sad… I helped her so much. Why is she doing this? She said that she wasn’t the kind of friend to just let go of me, Jumin, why?’’ you kept crying.

Jumin wished that he could help you. However, he had no idea.

,,Sometimes,’’ he whispered, ,,people just have a hard time… and then they just do this. She had her reasons and she doesn’t know that she’s hurting you that much… I know it’s hard, but try to let go… and one day I’m sure she will tell you why…’’ Jumin whispered and stroked your head.

,,I know it’s hard, but you don’t need her. You have me… I will be your rock, your husband, and your best friend…’’ he consoled you, hugging you again.

Zen

,,She’s odd somehow,’’ you told Zen as you guys came back from a family gathering.

Your boyfriend, who was currently chewing on his gum, looked at you.

He knew who you meant because he saw how your cousin behaved.

He saw how she ignored you, how she looked away, and acted as if there was nothing to talk about with you, even though you two always talked about God and the world.

,,I… I don’t know… I can’t handle losing someone again…’’ you mumbled.

He knew that you lost a lot of friends in the last few months. You went through a lot and Zen tried his best to support you.

You suddenly teared up and began to distract yourself, using your nail to pinch your fingers.

Zen of course saw what you were doing and quickly took your hand. ,,Don’t, Mc…’’ he begged you in a whisper to stop.

You pulled out your phone and read your messages. ,,I don’t… I don’t understand…’’ your voice began to tremble and Zen felt nervous.

He was scared that this would drag you down again. He never wanted to see your sad face again.

,,We just talked about… about BTS this morning and… we talked about idols dating… this morning!’’ you hiccuped.

,,Mc… maybe she had a bad day?’’ he asked you.

You wet your lips with your tongue and shook your head.

,,No, she is ignoring me. She’s putting a wall between us…’’ you ironically laughed.

Ever since then, you never chatted with her again.

However, the next family gathering soon approached.

As soon as you saw her coming in with two of your other cousins who ignored you, a panic attack came over you.

,,Hyun,’’ you whispered, making Zen look at you. He could see that you were close to crying.

,,Don’t, Princess, you’re too beautiful,’’ he whispered, trying to help you to calm down.

Luckily, everyone was still greeting everyone so no one saw that you were currently having a panic attack. Well, no one except your mother and aunt who dragged you and Zen to the nearest toilet.

Zen observed you as your mother stroked your arm and your aunt made you open your mouth to give you some medicine to calm down.

,,What’s wrong?’’ they finally asked you. You were still trying to hold your tears.

,,Mc, do you want to walk a bit with me?’’ he asked you, knowing that you just wanted to go out of the room as soon as possible.

And indeed, you accepted his offer.

As soon as you were outside, Zen began to sing a song that you knew better than anyone else ,,We woke up to a bad dream A world full of uncertainty But mirror, mirror I see you, and all your hopes and fears I'm a stay by your side So baby let me dry your tears I know that it feels like The world is falling down And you can't make it through There's gon' be better days, better days, better days Better days, better days, better days….’’

,,Hyun… that’s my favorite song from SuperM,’’ you smiled emotionally.

,,I know better days…’’ he said, naming the title. ,,Let her be. She never deserved you. I know that it hurts, but why hold onto someone who behaves that way? Better days will come. I’m sure it hurts now, but it will be better. I will stay by your side, okay? So please don’t be sad and cut them out of your life if they’re toxic. You deserve so much better,’’ he whispered and stroked your hair.

You nodded. By now you didn’t have the feeling of tears coming up anymore.

Yoosung

,,It just feels… off,’’ you whispered.

Yoosung sat on the couch next to you and he watched you as you looked past him.

,,I… I don’t… I have no one,’’ you mumbled. Yoosung noticed that you were tearing up.

He moved closer to take your hand.

,,Do… you, do you know this feeling when you find something… for example on TikTok and you want to send it a friend, but you notice that… it’s off between you and this other person and so you end up realizing how lonely you are and that there is no one anymore…’’ you asked him.

Yoosung looked at you with a sad face.

Your tears were falling down and a sob left your mouth.

,,I’m… I’m scared. Is this my fault?’’ you asked him.

Yoosung wasn’t quick enough to tell you that you weren’t at fault because you were a wonderful person, but you were quicker than him.

,,Maybe I’m not the victim… maybe I’m the toxic person,’’ you gasped and looked at him.

Yoosung never saw so much fear in your eyes than in that instant.

,,Maybe… you will leave me too? You will leave me alone and then… then I will stay here, alone… how will I go on with my life?’’ you asked him and sobbed into your hands.

,,Mc…’’ Yoosung whined. He moved even closer and finally touched your arm, stoking your cold skin.

,,I will never leave you, okay? Trust me. I love you and… you aren’t the toxic one. I’ve been by your side this whole time. Your friends just cut you out and that wasn’t fair!’’ he defended you.

You looked up, your eyes red, your tears wetting your cheeks, and your lower lip trembling.

Yoosung stroked your cheek with his hand, feeling that you were warm.

,,Please don’t worry…’’ he begged you.

,,How can I, Yoosung…’’ you hiccuped.

Suddenly, you had the feeling that air was missing.

You began to shiver and felt so cold and hot at the same time.

,,How can I if everyone I love is turning their backs on me?! They’re all leaving me! As if… as if I never meant anything to them! I was the one who always supported them! Maybe it was too much, maybe I am really the one who annoys them, if not, Yoosung, why is there no friendship that goes longer than half a year?!’’ you asked him.

,,You have me. We’ve been married for seven years now,’’ he told you.

,,Mc, they don’t last long because they just aren’t the right people for you. They just used you, but real friends are coming,’’ he smiled sadly.

,,Well, no, actually you have the RFA and me, your hubby!’’ he smiled.

The truth was that Yoosung, even though he felt sad for you, also felt angry because your ,,friends’’ were hurting you.

,,Thank you, Yoosung,’’ you choked and hugged him, putting your face on his chest.

Yoosung kept stroking your back until you felt better and you knew that with him you were safe…

Jaehee

This morning, when you were about to meet a friend, you looked totally happy.

You were baking a cake and preparing your bag.

So how could that beautiful day for you change so much? 

Jaehee always wondered why some people were so mean to you when were a wonderful person…

She observed you as you angrily unpacked your stuff and put took the cake out of the box you wanted to take with you.

,,Are you okay, Mc?’’ she asked you, concerned.

You hardly slapped your palm on the table and turned around.

,,NO!’’ you hissed.

Jaehee flinched at your sudden yell.

,,I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE CAN BE LIKE THAT!’’ you screamed.

,,Mc…’’ Jaehee tried to calm you down.

,,First, I got asked to come, I was almost taking my bus, and I would have been on my way for three hours! Then suddenly, they just canceled a meeting we planned for two months?! And when I tell them that I’m hurt and ask them if they even want me to come, they just push me away?!

Am I some dirty toy?! Jaehee! Explain this to me please, cause I have a feeling that the world is joking with me!’’ you hissed louder.

,,Mc, please stop yelling,’’ she first said to try to calm you down.

You took a deep breath and looked at her. ,,You’re right. I’m sorry, Jaehee,’’ you apologized and suddenly the tears that were being held back by your anger finally came out.

You let your body fall into the chair behind you and burrowed your face into your palms, your elbow on the table supporting your body.

,,I… I really don’t get it… Why do things like this always happen to me?’’ you asked her.

Your girlfriend approached you and rubbed your back.

,,Mc, please don’t… don’t feel bad…’’ she begged you, actually tearing up too.

,,I… I thought that I found a new friend and suddenly they behave like this and now they don’t even respond anymore. Am I really that easy to play with?’’ you asked her and looked at her.

Jaehee felt a sharp pain in her heart when she saw you.

She quickly hugged you and rubbed your back.

,,I’m scared,’’ you cried.

,,What if I’ll never be able to be stable enough to hold a friendship for more than half a year? I’m even scared to bond with people… I should stay alone!’’ you whined louder.

,,Jaehee, back then, at school, I never had friends! I always stayed at home! I never talked to them and there I also felt bad and lonely, but right now I feel worse! I know the feeling of having friends now. I know how it feels like to go out in a group, to share a hobby, and suddenly, just when I get used to that feeling, they let go of me! What did I do wrong?!’’ you asked her, not able to calm down.

,,Mc… please, don't say that. You have me… I can be your girlfriend and your best friend. You don’t need to worry,’’ she whispered, by now her voice trembling with you.

,,I… I’m scared that you will leave me too… What if you leave me? What if you think of me as an annoying girlfriend? I… I don’t want to feel that way… I want to be happy. I’m tired of these panic attacks, I’m tired of these feelings of fear, of my heart beating like crazy, of my head feeling lightheaded, and I just want to smile! I want to be happy!’’ you sobbed.

,,You will! Soon, you will,’’ Jaehee said, crying with you by now.

,,You will find your true friends, and until that day comes, Mc, I will stay by your side, so don’t stress yourself out. I will stay here and I will never leave you. I love you and this love will never ever fade away!’’ she assured you, making you feel better.

Saeyoung

Your fiancé observed you as you checked your phone for the sixth time in a row.

Apparently you were waiting for a message.

,,Mc, can I help you?’’ he asked you, meaning to hack into that person’s phone.

You looked up from your phone and by now he noticed that you were crying.

He quickly got up and approached you.

,,It’s okay,’’ you assured him, also acquiring his brother’s attention.

,,I mean, I’m used to cutting contact, I’ve just never had people do it so suddenly… I’ll be fine again in no time!’’ you smiled.

However, this was one of your biggest lies.

Back then, Saeyoung didn’t want to stress you out, so after you stopped crying and calmed down, he went back to his place.

Days passed and Saeyoung noticed that nothing was working out for you.

You were sad, there were songs on your playlist you simply skipped because you suddenly hated them, even through you once loved them.

Saeyoung noticed that it was time to talk to you about it when he heard you sniffle while watching a video.

,,What happened? Do you wanna tell me?’’ he asked you and stroked your back.

Usually he would make fun of your red eyes or your voice, but he knew if he was to joke right now, you would break in front of his eyes.

,,I wish I could respond to this,’’ you said as you looked into his eyes.

,,My friends began to ignore me from one social media to another, blocking me from Discord, Instagram, and Facebook,’’ you said.

,,I don’t recall having done something to them. I didn’t say anything hurtful either… I just… maybe I was just annoying and they wanted to get rid of me?’’ you asked him.

Saeyoung couldn’t believe what you were telling him.

,,Mc, we both know that isn’t true…’’ he mumbled.

You sighed as more tears left your eyes.

It feels so weird. Usually we would have a phone call at this hour, but right now… I’m just lonely. I’m… it’s just me…’’ you responded.

Saeyoung hugged you tightly and stroked your head. In the same moment, he heard you crying even louder.

,,I’m just… so scared that in the future I will stay all alone… I don’t want to miss them if they can cut me out so well… Why is that? Why do I feel like this? Vulnerable, lonely, I hate these feelings!’’ you whined.

Saeyoung kept holding you and patting your head while he encouraged you. ,,Just be happy and show them that you can go on without them and that you don’t need them,’’ he told you.

You nodded. ,,I’ll need time,’’

,,Of course,’’ he agreed and pushed you away to look into your eyes.

,,You will feel like this for a long time. Tomorrow will be the same, but maybe next week you will realize how happy you are now without them and that they were just toxic,’’ he smiled.

,,You are strong, I’m here, Saeran and the RFA are here. Why do you need two more friends who don’t know about our mess?’’ he asked you and made you laugh.

,,Come on, let’s eat ice cream with Saeran. He’s worried too,’’ he smiled and helped you get up.

Saeran

Your boyfriend observed you as you sat on the opposite chair at the table.

You were totally dull. The favorite food he cooked for you to make you feel better didn’t help either as you poked into your noodles.  

,,Mc,’’ he spoke up, making you look up.

Once again, your lips were trembling. You were sad and he could see it in your teary eyes.

Even though you were going through a hard time, you managed to stay strong and not cry in front of him.

,,I know that it’s painful, but I’m here for you,’’ he told you with a smile.

You just nodded. ,,Who knows for how long…’’ you laughed and kept poking your food.

,,What do you mean?’’ he asked you and observed you. You finally let go of the tears.

,,Who knows how long you will stay here with me! I mean, if they can manage to leave me, why should you stay? You… you will ignore me soon too!’’ you snapped, letting go of your fork.

You grabbed your shirt with your right hand as you pressed the material between your fingers.

By now you were sobbing and breathing hastily.

Saeran understood immediately that you were having a panic attack and he didn’t want you to go through this pain for anything in the world.

,,Breathe. Try to breathe, Mc. I’m here, I promise. Nothing will happen to you if I’m here,’’ he whispered and approached you, pressing on your hand as you tried to stay calm.

Your tears made your vision blurry. You had the feeling that you were dying, that the world around you was crashing down, and no one loved you. You felt that everyone would leave you at some point without telling you why.

Later, when you managed to calm down. You and Saeran sat together on the soft couch with a blanket over your legs as he stroked your arm.

The music box you bought last week was playing. ,,She is in the rain’’ by The Rose, a Kpop band that was helping you manage all the negative feelings lately. 

,,I’m scared that if I find new friends, they will leave me too, so I thought it would be better to not bond,’’ you said.

Saeran nodded. ,,That sounds plausible. I would react like that too, but it won’t work,’’ he told you as he looked at you.

We all need people, friends who love and support us. For now, you think you don’t need anyone, but imagine you see something funny and take a screenshot to send it to someone. You can just delete it, but those are the times you realize how lonely you are and I don’t want you to feel like that…’’

Your teary face observed him.

,,I know,’’ you hiccuped again.

,,But I… How can I find new friends? I’m scared that the more people leave me, the more I will be in pain…’’ you explained.

,,I understand,’’ he nodded, ,,but real friends won’t leave. You didn’t leave me either back then and the RFA won’t leave. They weren’t healthy even though you loved them deeply,’’

You chuckled. ,,How do you know all this?’’ you asked him, wondering if he experienced something similar. You couldn’t imagine him being hurt like that while staying in Mint Eye.

,,You made me realize that there are real friends,’’ he smiled and kissed you.

Jihyun

,,I don’t understand how they could do that to me,’’ you hissed and put your phone with it’s display on the table.

It was 11pm now, Lucy was already asleep while Jihyun sat in bed with you.

,,And you’re sure that there weren’t any misunderstandings?’’ he asked you and rubbed your arm.

You looked up with your eyes and tried to think about everything.

,,No. We talked about children, I told them how cute Lucy was and that they should come and visit us…’’ you mumbled and took his hand.

He could feel that you were trembling.

He could see that you were scared and that you were angry and restless.

,,Maybe they will answer your messages tomorrow. Why don’t you sleep a bit?’’ he asked you and put the blanket over your body.

You nodded and laid down while hugging your husband.

He stroked your back as you turned your body towards him, your head nuzzled in his chest.

The next day, however, nothing turned out to be how you hoped it to be.

You were crying on the floor in front of your bed while Jihyun tried his best to calm you down.

,,They deleted me everywhere. They’re just ghosting me! This isn’t fair! Why do they have to leave me with these thoughts?’’ you asked him.

You tried to calm down and breathe calmly, but nothing worked.

Jihyun kept rubbing your legs to make you calm down and show you that he was by your side, but nothing seemed to help you.

You took your phone and with all your hate, you crushed the gadget on the floor, making the screen crack.

You pulled your legs towards your body as you kept crying.

,,Mc, Mc, look at me!’’ he called you, lightly shaking you and making you look deep into his eyes.

,,Stop right now. You need to stay calm. This won’t help you! Besides, it’s not worth it, okay? Now, breath with me,’’ he whispered and showed you how to calm down.

He was holding your hand firmly as he watched you breath.

,,They weren’t real friends so let them go. It’s not the first time and we both know that, but you loved them too much to realize. Now you can finally let go, okay? I know, it’s hard, you will miss them, you will have things that remind you of them, but it won’t help,’’ he whispered.

As soon as he said these words, he hugged you, making you cry into his shoulder.

,,I… went to visit them. I went there and spent so much money because they said they felt lonely. I was always there, I always responded to their calls, I always wished them a good morning, asked how they were feeling and if everything was okay…’’ you sobbed.

,,Did they ever ask you?’’ Jihyun asked you, making you hiccup.

,,I don’t want to hurt you, but you need to understand that you gave your all while they didn’t, and finally they gave you the chance to search for better friends, okay?’’ Jihyun knew that this would make you feel bad for a long time, but he also knew that you were strong.

,,I know you can do it. Now let’s get up and I will make you feel happy today, okay?’’ he asked you with a smile.

And he didn’t lie when he said that.

The both of you laid in bed the whole day and when Lucy finally came home from the school, you all ordered some food and stayed in the whole day. ,,We need some time out. Today and tomorrow we can start over again,’’ Jihyun smiled. You weren’t crying anymore and Lucy was happier than ever to spend the day with her beloved parents.

Vanderwood

Vanderwood hugged and patted your back as you cried in his embrace.

He tried to calm you down, but nothing helped as your feelings got hurt.

Your best friend just began to ignore you, blocking you everywhere without any signs.

The worst was that the both of you met in the shopping center half an hour ago. The expression on your friends face towards you was filled with so much hate that even he was surprised.

But the worst was that he couldn’t understand how you could stay their friend for such a long time.

Of course, he also knew that this situation still could hurt your feelings.

,,I… maybe I’m just a bad friend,’’ you said and looked up, looking straight into his eyes.

You were sitting on his lap as he kept trying to make you feel better.

,,You‘re not and do you know why I believe that you are the best friend ever? Because you’re the one that’s in pain. You’re here thinking about the situation. You care so you aren’t a bad friend,’’ he whispered and kissed your cold wet cheek.

,,Okay, but why did they… I don’t understand… and even though I’m so angry I’m so disappointed and… I miss them so much…’’ you sobbed.

He nodded.

,,It’s normal. You can’t forget them from one hour to another,’’ he smiled.

He hated to see you so sad and hurt.

,,I’m… just worried. Maybe it was a misunderstanding, and they’re in pain too…’’ you mumbled.

,,Then they should approach you. You tried your best, Mc, let go… they’re toxic and you will break,’’ he whispered.

You sobbed even stronger and hugged him.

,,Will you leave me too?’’ you asked him, feeling scared.

You were afraid that you were the real reason and you were scared that people would leave you, never to approach you anymore. Even worse, what if people would begin to use you?

,,I won’t ever do that,’’ he smirked, taking your chin between his fingers and pulling you to him, kissing your cold wet lips.

You were so thankful that he was here supporting you, however, the fear of losing him never left you that day.

It took a long time until you could understand that sometimes you couldn't help other people and that sometimes you just had to change your friends and let go of them.

You also had to learn that Vanderwood was the one you could really trust, because even though you were scared that he wouldn’t last more than a year with you, he showed you that he would stay with you forever.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

30.04.2021// 22:30 MEST

[fairyrosepetals]

Due to quarantine, I’ve been feeling pretty touch starved due to to the lack of hugs my friends and I would usually give each other.

Covid is a curse for naturally affectionate people like me :/

So enjoy some headcanons I wrote for some of our boys who had finally achieved the role of boyfriend!

Sweet home as types of boyfriends (M)

Hyun Cha

Hyun as a boyfriend gives me very chill/tired boyfriend vibes.

As in, he’s the kind of boyfriend who loves you softly. Someone who appreciates you in their own discreet way. Whether it be soft forehead kisses, or just very tight hugs.

Very relaxed dates. These dates would include laying on the couch cuddling, with rain pouring in the background.

Another date Idea would be just watching your favorite movies together in bed, eating your favorite snacks and candies.

His nicknames would include

Babe, babygirl/boy, love of my life, My light, Angel

His kisses are very hesitant and gentle, almost as if you’ll break or you’ll run away from him. Once you kiss him, and he knows you’re not going anywhere, his kisses become desperate, like you’ll disappear. Soon though, his kisses show how much he truly feels with you around :)

PDA doesn’t include a whole lot, mainly because he feels self conscious when he’s around someone as amazing as you. He feels like you deserve someone a lot better. Most likely just hand holding in public. However, in closed doors you bet you can get as many hugs and kisses as you want, whenever you want, 25/8

Now, at 18, you OBVIOUSLY don’t have a lot of money unless you’re rich. When it comes to gifts, I think he’d pay attention to your favorite foods, or maybe your current obsession, and base his gifts off that.

He LOVES to rant to you about Maria In The Sky!! Or just his hyperfixations in general when it isn’t Maria. Which isn’t likely. He gets this certain spark in his eyes when he talks about the things he’s interested in, which brings a certain life to him.

Now, depression DOES take a toll on people. This can leave a strain on relationships especially. If you’re willing to put in the extra effort, he would greatly appreciate it. He makes sure to show you his appreciation by making sure he ate a little extra more that day, made sure to change out into a new set of clothes, and overall just ways to show that he’s taking care of himself.

Overall, he loves you dearly, and greatly appreciates the love and support you give him. Trust me, he’s not letting you go any time soon.

Hyuk Lee

Hyuk as a boyfriend gives me very CHAOTIC vibes!!

He’s the kind of boyfriend to show his love by joking A LOT with you, with lots of teasing, playful name calling, and overall just rough housing.

There was definitely a moment where yall took roughhousing too far and you got bopped in the nose. Hyuk couldn’t bare to look you in the face after the many times you said you were fine.

Hyuk’s nicknames would include

Lemon cardboard Homie, Baby, Babe, Big head, DEFINITELY Megatron just to fuck with you

Hyuk’s kisses would be goofy and just kind of smiley, and maybe even a little sloppy. As in, he would be gently holding your face in his hands, but would be smiling or laughing as he tries to kiss you because he is just so unbelievably happy. This causes the kisses to definitely not be perfect, but they’re just filled with so much happiness that you can’t help but smile or laugh with him.

Just like Hyun, there isn’t a lot of PDA. Not because he’s self-conscious, mainly because he feels like you know how much he actually loves you without having to be too touchy in front of everyone. If you just so happen to want a kiss or maybe just hold hands, he’s all up for it. Just make sure to ask otherwise he will have no clue what you want.

Dates would include going to the arcade!! DEFINITELY would drag you over to that dancing game just to have an excuse to be closer to you!

Another date idea would just be 1 am trips to 7/11 and grabbing a slushee and your favorite snack, and maybe going to a remote area and laying on the hood of your car and go stargazing.

When it comes to dating Hyuk, you also gotta care for his sister. They are a PACKAGE DEAL. He understands that it’s a big responsibility to dump onto someone, but he’s responsible for her well-being. So if you don’t like her, that’s the ultimate deal breaker for Hyuk. If that’s not the case, he’ll be happy to see you two getting along.

Being a surrogate father for someone who was so young really puts a damper on your mentality. So just show your support for him, whether it be big or small. If you are quick to befriend Eun, his heart will warm at the sight of the two people he loves most enjoying each other’s company.

Ihyun Jo

Ihyun gives me very flirty/romantic boyfriend vibes. I say this due to his two personalities, which include his chaotic and more gentler side. I can see him being very flirty with an SO, that showers them in pick up lines that could make your face go red while also being sincerely romantic, enough to make you swoon from how sweet he’s being.

He’s the kind of boyfriend to hold your face in his hands, and gently cover your face in kisses or just stare lovingly into your eyes. This would also include whispering flirtatious comments in your ear, just to see you embarrassed from his words and make you blush.

With his flirty side, I can definitely see him as bit possessive, which can include possessive touches such as putting his hand on your waist or gently grabbing your chin to look at him when you look away.

Ihyun’s nicknames would include

Baby, hot stuff, princess/prince, Angel, wifey/hubby

Ihyun’s kisses can go two different ways depending on his current mood. The 1st way is sweet and sincere, where his kisses are soft and filled with such warmth and love. This creates such a loving feeling, where he carefully holds your face in his hands and treats you with gentleness. The 2nd way is his kisses feeling lustful, and a little rough. Though, this only means his kisses are firey and more passionate, holding you close by your waist as you wrap your arms around his neck.

DEFINITELY PDA. He is VERY touchy. Not in a way to make others around you uncomfortable, but more like he always has to be touching you in some way to ground himself. This includes hand holding, putting a hand on your waist or around your neck. When it’s just you two, it’s almost like he’s a second shadow, always carding a hand through your hair or just hugging you and resting his chin atop your head.

In more normal settings, I can definitely see him taking you out on the classic amusement park date. I’m talking rollercoasters, obviously rigged carnival games, cotton candy, and of course, the classic Ferris wheel ride.

Of course, I gotta throw in a classic beach date too. He is DEFINITELY the type of boyfriend to throw you into the sea, ONLY IF YOU ARE OKAY WITH IT AND CAN SWIM THO. If not, he is totally cool with just annoying you by splashing, or just overall being a general nuisance. Definitely has a soft spot for building sand castles with you :)

He may have the occasional sarcastic comment to share or just be annoying just to bug you, but he really does love you. He knows having MPD makes things harder in a relationship, but he appreciates you helping him when it comes to medication, episodes, and other ailments that occur. If there are types when he feels sad, he would love nothing more than to just lay on the couch, and rest his head in your lap as you run your hand through his hair.

Jayhun

Jayhun DEFINITELY strikes me as a SOFT BOYFRIEND. An ANGEL BOYFRIEND. A man you can DEPEND on. HUSBAND MATERIAL.

When I say soft, I mean he just absolutely SHOWERS you in love. You NEVER go a day without at least one hug or kiss, because he wants you to know how much he truly loves you. He’s the kind of boyfriend to do classic, gentlemanly things such as open doors for you, sit you down and scoot your chair in for you, and overall just be a sweetheart.

His dates would most likely be more domestic. I could definitely see him as doing the classic at home dinner date, being in the kitchen and cooking your favorite food, or if you like going out to eat more, definitely a restaurant on the nicer side. Being a teacher can leave him a bit busy sometimes, so he’s not opposed to just ordering take out, putting on a movie, and just enjoying your company as you lean against him. :)

Jayhun’s nicknames include

Sweetheart, honey, darling, love, angel

Jayhun’s kisses are the epitome of sweet and warm. Of course, he would only kiss you if he asked and made sure you were okay with it. If you said yes, he would make sure to hold you close, whether it be gently holding your face in his hands, or just placing his hands on your hips, he makes sure to put all his love into each kiss.

When it comes to PDA, he definitely strikes me as old fashioned. You know those elderly couples that have been married for 50+ years and STILL act like they’re in their honeymoon phase? That’s you and Jayhun. Kisses on the cheek, hand holding, brushing hair out of your face, and just staring at you with so much love that catching him can make you feel how strong his love is for you.

There are times when he’s forgotten to take lunch, so being the greatest SO ever, you make sure to bring it to him at school. His students LOVE YOU. They can’t believe their teacher bagged someone as great as you, and constantly bug Jayhun about you and when you’ll come visit again. They have a bet on how long it will take to get him to propose.

A bouquet of your favorite flowers, your favorite candies, and even just writing little sticky notes in places you see them before he goes to work, he just wants you to know he will always love and appreciate you no matter what.

I want to say that because of his religion, he kinda hopes you share the same beliefs as him. However, he is not opposed if you don’t, he still loves you all the same. In fact, if you follow a totally different religion, I feel like he would be interested in learning what your practices are, and how he could make you feel more welcomed during your relationship. 💕

Wook Pyeon

“My boyfriend can kick your ass” HELLA vibes from this man.

When I say this, I mean he’s very protective of you, and is even afraid to be in your presence half the time due to his height and build. He’s the kind of boyfriend to benchpress you for a work out, but also the kind of boyfriend to get flustered when you kiss his forehead.

There’s no fuckin way you could reach his height unless you’re THAT TALL, but if you do, he’s more likely to be less careful around you, and be more willing to hold you close to him and not be afraid of accidentally hurting you. If you’re a SHORTY?? Like me then this poor man is on pins and needles. Even if you’re tough, this man is afraid of hurting you and will never forgive himself if his elbow whacked you in the forehead.

Shorty protector

Dates with Wook Pyeon consist of constantly patching him up when he’s injured. Seriously, does this man never have a bruise on his body? If he’s not injured, he’s definitely stressed or very tense, and would not be opposed to taking a warm bath with you. Not even to have sex, but more just to make your hair into a giant spike with soap, or have bubble beards that leave you holding your stomachs from laughter. Just wholesome goofing off. :)

Wook’s nicknames would include

Honey, baby, babe, sweetheart, *shorter rendition of your name*, little shit (If you’re a menace to him constantly)

I feel like this man’s kisses can vary. Though the one thing they have in common, is that he makes sure that you know that he loves you. They can range from quick “Gotta go to work” kisses, to kisses that make you melt from the amount of love you feel from them. Even if maybe that moment you two have fought and he suddenly has to go, and if you’ll let him of course, he’ll make sure to give you the sweetest kiss he can muster. Dealing with criminals can be dangerous, and he would never want to go to work and have something happen, knowing you both left angry at one another.

PDA for him is hesitant. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, but he gets very shy and flustered about it. If you hold his hand while he’s talking to someone, his brain will start to malfunction and his face will slowly turn a shade of pink. This includes kisses anywhere on his face, or just a small kiss to his knuckles while holding his hand. In other words, for a big guy like himself, he is quite timid when it comes to initiating PDA.

He may be a little rough around the edges, but he tries his best to be romantic. Though, he tends to do it in more smaller ways. Working in the police force has unreasonable hours, so lots of little sticky notes around the house with cute love notes, little heart doodles, and just overall tiny reminders are his love language, or just making you a quick breakfast and storing it for later before leaving to work.

When he gets laid off, please do your best not to be angry with him. If it turns out he was the only one to be bringing money on the table for your own reasons, he would be so disappointed in himself for not being able to support you. If it turns out he now has to rely on you and your job, he would feel as if he’s a leech while you work harder until he can find a new source of income, so please reassure him that everything will be alright.

He of course, will do his own fair share of chores around the house in order to relieve the work load off of you.

When it comes to smoking, that is definitely a problem. Even if you don’t mind it, secondhand smoking can greatly affect your health as well. If you are an asthmatic, he definitely will try to quit for you. Even if you aren’t, it eventually dawns on him that his smoking is slowly hurting you, and doesn’t want you to be breathing that gunk in. It will be a hard journey, but just support him and keep him in check for the transition, and he’ll do his best to keep you happy and out of harm’s way.

[raiko101]

Lovely Writer Episode 10 Notes

- THE MOMS AND THE AEROBICS CLASS WAS SO FUNNY I-

- Aww we love supportive brothers

- Sib’s parents and the Bonsai tree was really nice

- YES HE DESERVES TO BE FREE

- Is that matcha tea or just green tea? Either way it looks good

- Also how does the tea taste different like wha-

- I KNEW GENE’S DAD WASN’T ACTUALLY HOMOPHOBIC

- He should’ve handled the situation better but honestly he deserves so much more.. I feel for him

- Nubsib driving to the house after hearing the conversation is just.. mwah

- Also someone pls write a fanfic of that scene from Nubsib’s POV cus I would very much like to read it

- Family pls give them some PRIVACY they wanna kiss

- Jap fanboying over them tho

- Tiffy he’s NOT GAY

- Why was Tum rapping like I had to pause the video and wrap myself in a blanket to process this

- Not complaining though keep going dude

- Help my iPad is about to die

- Aww look at them being domestic hubbies

- FINALLY THE FACE MASK SCENE AHSHD(IDJDJD

- My domestic hubbies awh 

- They placed not one but TWO advertisements in the cafe

- Yes Nubsib pay for them 

- NOT THE 20 BOXES OF CAKES

- I love Hin sm 

- Nubsib I understand you want to help Gene write but this is not the right time 

- Gene getting tickled was so wholesome 

- His laughs are my new therapy 

- When did Kao get his own sunscreen brand?

- B- B- BEACH?!!!?!?!!!??

- Nubsib looks so good in that muscle shirt

- I can sense the people simping for Nubsib modeling in that surf board

- Awh Gene supporting Hin

- No worries beb you will publish your novel eventually

- YES GET THAT BURST OF INSPO

- Why is the sunscreen so clear

- Up is probably holding in his laughs so hard during this scene

- YES VENTURE OUT INTO THE OPEN SEAS YOU STUPID GAYS

- Pls they’re so in love 

- Finally Gene isn’t hiding his laughs anymore 

- I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long

- Wh- HEY WHOS THAT

- Ugh it was getting too calm

- The teaser looks spoopy oh noes

So basically this episode was a rollercoaster and I love hate it here

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press/Gallery: Elizabeth Olsen Is Ready to Lead the MCU

An ambitious new Disney+ series might just give the strongest Avenger the happy ending she deserves.

  GALLERY LINKS

Studio Photoshoots > 2021 > Session 001

  ELLE: We can’t keep meeting Elizabeth Olsen like this. By “this,” I mean in the throes of catastrophe or bereavement, or, to put it plainly, when she’s an emotional wreck. In the 2018 Facebook Watch drama Sorry For Your Loss, Olsen assumes the role of Leigh Shaw, a young widow grappling with the unexpected loss of her husband and all the painful nuisances that come with death: the unbearable waves of sadness, the clichéd condolences, a grief support group that runs out of donuts. At one point, Leigh says through a cracked voice, “I’m just mad all the time.” It’s hard not to draw parallels to Olsen’s other angry character. After all, “mad” is exactly how 2015’s Avengers: Age of Ultron introduced us to Wanda Maximoff.

Defined by tragedy since her Marvel debut, Wanda (aka the Scarlet Witch) is an orphan with telekinetic powers. When not saving the world, she spends most of her time onscreen grieving the deaths of her parents, twin brother, or lover. Wanda’s never been allowed to fully exist outside the confines of her grief and anger, but with the launch of WandaVision—Marvel’s foray into serialized content for streaming—she may just be getting the happy ending she deserves.

Partly inspired by The Vision comic book, which follows synthezoid superhero Vision and his family as they move to the suburbs of Washington, D.C., the Disney+ series is an ode to the TV sitcoms we’ve come to love, with Wanda and Vision (Paul Bettany) basking in newlywed bliss—except Vision’s been very dead (killed twice, in fact) since the events of 2018’s Avengers: Infinity War. It’s unclear exactly how these starcrossed characters got to suburbia, but for now, it’s a delight to see the typically solemn duo sink their teeth into slapstick comedy.

“The show is like a blank slate for them,” Olsen tells me over Zoom, her light brown fringe a departure from Wanda’s red waves. The Scarlet Witch’s doleful glare is also long gone; in its place, Olsen’s eyes are wide with excitement. “Wanda and Vision’s journey to this point is a story of pure, innocent love and deep connection with another person,” she explains. “It was also very traumatizing. Tragedy has always been their story. In our show, we kind of wipe that clean and start fresh.”

But Wanda’s complicated past looms over WandaVision. Age of Ultron saw her and her twin brother, Pietro, initially opposing the Avengers (the siblings volunteered for a series of experiments with Hydra—a super evil organization within the MCU—after the deaths of their parents at the hands of Tony Stark’s Stark Industries) before switching sides to help save the Earth. The movie ends in victory for our superheroes, but yet another tragedy for Wanda when Pietro dies in battle. She finds comfort in the arms of Vision, an android created from the remains of Tony’s J.A.R.V.I.S. program, but even that bliss is short-lived. You see, Vision can only live with the help of the Mind Stone, which Mad Titan Thanos needs to take over the universe. In Infinity War, Vision asks Wanda to sacrifice him, and Wanda reluctantly agrees—but Thanos reverses time to gain control of the stone, killing the robot for a second time. Wanda’s pain is palpable: Imagine sacrificing the love of your life to save everyone else, just to watch him brought back to life and killed again—by the very villain you’re trying to defeat.

Though the thrill of playing a character with superhuman abilities is enticing for any actress, Olsen says it was Wanda’s internal battle with mental health that attracted her to the role in the first place. “[Joss Whedon] explained to me that Wanda Maximoff has always been this pillar of the struggle of mental health, from her pain and depression and traumatic experiences to how she completely alters the reality of the comics,” Olsen says of her early conversations with the Age of Ultron director. “The thing I held onto after reading the initial script was that she was not only powerful because of her abilities, but because of her emotions.”

In fact, MCU theorists would argue she’s one of, if not the, strongest Avenger. She can infiltrate the others’ minds to reveal their biggest fears (Age of Ultron). She can overpower Vision and send him plunging through several floors to break up a fight between warring superheroes (Avengers: Civil War). She can even bring Thanos to his knees, snapping his sword in half and forcibly removing his armor piece by piece (Infinity War).

Still, “they keep slapping her over the head with more grief,” Olsen quips.

As phase one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe began with the sound of clanging metal on May 2, 2008, phase four kicked off on January 15, 2021 with a kitschy 1950s sitcom theme: “She’s a magical gal in a small town locale / he’s a hubby who’s part machine / How will this duo fit in and pull through? Oh, by sharing a love / like you’ve never seen.”

With WandaVision, Marvel steers clear of the typical superhero trappings: no destructive battles at a Berlin airport or across the streets of New York City; no blonde-haired god time-traveling to other realms; no tree-like alien fight alongside a raccoon. Wandavision takes place after the events of Endgame in a fictional suburban town called Westview, and the biggest problem the newlyweds face in the show’s opening moments is creating a convincing backstory to get nosy neighbor Agnes (Kathryn Hahn) off their backs.

“They are just trying to fit in,” Olsen explains. “They’re trying to not be found out by their neighbors that they’re super-powered beings.” Now, if only we can figure out what the hell is actually going on. Olsen remains tight-lipped: “The reason it’s a sitcom shows itself later in the show,” she hints. “When Kevin [Feige] told me, it didn’t feel so bizarre. It felt like a great way to start our story.”

“With our show, you don’t know what the villain is, or if there is one at all.”

So, is Wanda stuck in the first stage of grief, denial? Has she altered reality as a coping mechanism for Vision’s death? Is she being held hostage by a terrorist organization (ahem, Hydra!)? One thing we do know is that someone is watching the couple and taking notes. At the end of episode 1, the camera pans out from a retro TV playing an episode of WandaVision (meta!) to show a hand jotting down notes. There’s a strange sword symbol on the notebook and a nearby control board, and in episode 2, the same sign appears on a toy helicopter lodged in the couple’s front yard. Later, when a mysterious beekeeper crawls out of the sewer on the couple’s street, the symbol is seen on the back of his suit. In its 20-plus movies, Marvel villains have always existed in plain sight. But with a new, less obvious darkness lurking at every turn, Wanda may have to return to her world-saving roots.

“Someone said to me when you watch any of these hero movies, you know when the villain’s about to show themselves, and you also have an idea of who the villain is,” Olsen says. “With our show, you don’t know what the villain is, or if there is one at all.” For now, WandaVision allows for glimmers of hope and optimism for Wanda and Vision, despite what darkness tries to threaten their happiness. “Wanda is trying to protect everything in her bubble, protect what she and Vision have and this experience,” Olsen says. “I think everything she does is in response to keeping things together.”

In addition to exploding the concept of the superhero onscreen, WandaVision toys with a different era of TV in each episode. The pilot takes viewers to the ‘50s with an episode filmed in front of a live studio audience, and Wanda dresses up in the quintessential housewife garb, not a hair out of place in her voluminous bob. By the time we click on episode 2, she trades in her apron and kitten heels for a more pared-down ‘60s look, while episode 3 gives a nod to the ‘70s, complete with a Brady Bunch-style staircase and a shag haircut for Vision.

While dressing up was the fun part, time-hopping through the eras required a lot of binge-watching old sitcoms to get the mannerisms down right. Olsen studied series like The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Brady Bunch, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and Bewitched to “understand the tones of each era” and get a grasp of how Wanda and Vision should act as a couple. (One of her favorite TV pairings was Jane Kaczmarek and Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle.) She was fascinated by the way female characters evolved through the decades: “You have to learn appropriate manners—what’s considered being polite or proper. That coincides with women’s voices changing,” she explains. “I enjoyed challenging myself to match the syntax and the lyricism. I live in a very chest-register kind of deep voice. I had to remember not to bring it up at certain moments.”

For so long, Wanda served as a supporting character to Marvel’s biggest names, and the formulaic mundanity of the major theatrical releases made it easy to get comfortable. WandaVision offered Olsen a much-needed challenge. “I’ve only been working for 10 years, but there is this feeling where you start to get comfortable,” she says. “WandaVision was the furthest thing from comfortable for me. It felt intimidating. The character is a completely different thing.”

And fans hoping for a little Marvel action won’t be disappointed. “We still live up to what Marvel does,” she promises. “We just tell the story in a completely different way. It’s a very emotional, female story and it’s a story they haven’t told yet for either of our characters.” Whatever your theory is, keep the cliché condolences to yourself. No one will be uttering, “Sorry for your loss” in Wanda’s world.

Press/Gallery: Elizabeth Olsen Is Ready to Lead the MCU was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[hansensgirl]

Ok ok please hear me out!!!

But why not special endings!!!!

You can do ~( you don’t have to and sorry if I sound rude but I read DONT TAKE HIM FOR ME and you got me on my feelings☹️) ~ different endings in any way the story can go after your beautiful messed up ending which I love. Where you can make ( only if you want to) as many different ending like one with Steve or with T'Challa or where the reader gets revenge. But can I go off please. As much as I want the reader to get her a real men why don’t we have one WHERE SHE DOESNT NEED A MAN TO FIX HER BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING TO FIX!

I’m sorry but I need to go all out so.. can I do a part 2??

Part 2!!!

Ok the reader was there for Bucky even though she knew things will not be the same at all! When he had a bit of humanity in him, where he started to wake up for his hell ,up to when he was start a real life!!! The reader was the one who gave him some feelings when he was Winter ,the reader was the one that keep him together when he was still pieces when he was Jamie , THE READER WAS THE ONE AWAKE WITH HIM WHEN HE HAD NIGHTMARES WHEN HE WAS/IS BUCKY. The reader was still acting like Mrs. Barnes, a lover a wife his moonlight, at the very end. The reader is the bigger person so why not walk away like the perfect person they are.

Part 3..

How about the reader ask help from Tony or Pepper to get away from the compound and when she can ,she packs way all of her things and I mean all. Like she will wash everything so they won’t smell like her and all of hers too so they don’t smell like him. And when she is ready to leave she talks to Bucky like “ I found your letter and I know you don’t love me anymore but I still do so I need to leave. You deserve to be happy but I do too and to be honest I don’t think I never will be with out you. But I still need to try so this is our good bye my Winter” and then she looks at Nat and says “I hope the best for you too” and walks away like THE QUEEN SHE IS. But I would like to see how Bucky go to act when he has no food made for him, no clean and organized clothes for him or a lap for him to sleep on that will not move and keep him safe at night. The reader works on her self and maybe writers down what she was and is feeling and published a book ( to be honest I feel like I’m doing that but that is because I’m still on my feelings but I can’t even write a essay so forget a book or a fic)~ and make a good life out of her self. And the ending can be whatever like with a hubby and kids or with cats or happy alone and be her own wifey because we all know is one hell of a good one!

Sorry I just need to let it all out 😬 you see how you making me react 😩 I love your work and if you do or don’t do a part 2 or special endings it is all up to you and I support you. Hope you are safe and happy ❤️

DONT APOLOGIZE AT ALL ANGEL!! this is so so so accurate because at that moment, the reader held malice for only natasha. she could never hate bucky, she only has love for him! but after she realizes she can’t change fate, she lets go of the malice!! i love this one so much because it’s so accurate!

[consumedkings-archive]

@shallow-gravy jess..... jess jess jess...... where do i even begin huh? what do i even say? you are the sweetest, the most obnoxiously talented, and i just!! hm!! i just really adore you all to tiny bits and pieces. merry christmas my beloved friend, thank you so much for all of your love and support and listening to my ramblings, for loving my girl elliot, for letting me gush over diana. the list really do be endless!! i could probably wax poetic about how grateful i am to have made a friend as wonderful as you, but in the interest of time, i will just say: thank you thank you thank you! and merry christmas!

ii. a venom dripping in your mouth

elliot honeysett/john seed/deputy diana baker, the unholy trinity, in full-fledged terroristic force. this is pure self-indulgent trash, and i can’t believe this is an acceptable christmas gift to give you but i so hope you like it! 

canon? who is she. i don’t know her. herald!elliot au, largely canon divergent but like it doesn’t REALLY matter bc i don’t go into detail that much. idk man just roll with it

words: 8.8k because i’m incapable of having any Chill

warnings: naughty language, some blood warnings, mentions of past trauma. nothing super explicit but like idk when elliot and john set their sights on diana i do think they need a warning of their own lmao. also, i guess i should warn i don’t know how anything works ever and don’t come for me, don’t drag me, this is supposed to just!!! be fun!!! thanks!!!

“Who the fuck is that?”

Burke’s crossing the street with Pratt and the rookie in tow. Diana drags a few feet ahead, smoking and attempting to not be a part of the conversation, which is hard to do when there’s only a handful of them at the office anyway.

Pratt glances up at the blonde they’re about to pass. She’s propped against the hood of a jeep, the hem of her daisy dukes barely reaching mid-thigh, taking a long drag of a cigarette. He notices the head of a snake tattoo coming down her thigh. It’s hot; the air is buzzing with bugs and heat from the midday sun, and Burke can feel the sweat collecting in the hollow of his collarbones and at the nape of his neck.

From here Burke can tell she’s not looking at them—she’s looking at Diana. Hungrily.

“Elliot Honeysett,” Pratt replies, keeping his voice low, and he spits on the ground. “John’s wife. Fucking psycho.”

Ah. A Seed, Burke thinks, with no absence of venom. A Seed but with her own last name. An uninteresting but unexpected detail.

“You know her, rookie?” Burke asks, looking over at Diana. The brunette stares at him and drops her cigarette to the ground, grinding it out with her shoe.

“No,” Diana replies shortly. “I’m not from here.”

She says it like that’s supposed to explain it, like that’s going to make it make sense why the blonde’s eyes are fixed on her, and of course it doesn’t.

“I went to school with her,” Pratt offers up, and Burke looks at him curiously.

“Yeah? She a psycho then, too?”

“Nah.” The deputy crosses his arms over his chest, refusing—pointedly—to look at Elliot even once after identifying her the closer they get. “John made her that way.”

Diana’s been quiet, lighting up a second cigarette, when she says, “I dunno. To join a cult you've probably gotta have that shit in you all along.”

Burke makes a low noise of agreement. He watches Elliot wiggle her fingers at Diana in a little wave as the cluster of them nears, flashing a most pretty smile; at first glance, he thinks that the blonde looks more bubblegum than cyanide, all curled hair tucked up in a high pony and red cupid’s-bow lips and white, white teeth.

“Howdy, deputy,” she calls, Southern drawl honeyed.

Diana visibly grimaces, pointedly pushing her gaze forward and fixing it on the office. There’s a split second where Burke thinks he sees something flash across her face, but she’s stuffed it down and the sharp lines of her expression smooth out.

And then Elliot looks at him. Burke waves, but he doesn’t smile—it’s not meant to be nice, it’s meant to relay the message that he sees her. When she regards him expectantly, he goes ahead and greets, “Mrs. Seed."

I fucking know you. No surname fuckery is going to throw Burke off the scent. There are so many boogeymen and monsters in the world that don’t want you to know their name, and he thinks Elliot Honeysett might be one of them.

She doesn’t stop smiling at the misnaming, necessarily—her expression smooths out into mild amusement—and then she opens her mouth and pushes the lit end of her cigarette onto her tongue. Pratt says, under his breath, “Jesus Christ,” and Burke thinks he can hear the sizzle for a split second before it’s out, and then she tosses the cigarette to the side.

“Marshal,” she greets him, and he slows his walk for just a moment. “Lookin’ a little flush. You not used to the hot weather, honey?”

“It’s cooling off up in D.C.,” he replies, keeping his tone conversational despite the urge to punch those pearly whites in, “but I used to come here every summer. Nothing I can’t handle.”

Elliot smiles. It’s all teeth. Burke thinks about how most animals do that as a threat. “Good. I’d hate for you to be uncomfortable.” And then her gaze turns to Pratt, and she says flatly, “Pratt.”

“Honeysett,” Staci returns, and he might not have been able to sound more disingenuous, but it’s well-deserved—the blonde makes no effort to hide her disdain. She rolls her eyes, mouth twisting in amusement before she swings around the front of her jeep and into the driver’s seat.

Like he can’t resist the blatant dismissal, Pratt tacks on, “Tell the hubby I said hello.”

The engine revs. Burke watches her pop a pair of blue shades on, leaning against the rolled-down window. “Eat shit, bud,” Elliot says, and smiles just before she kisses the air in Burke’s direction and pulls a hard u-turn. The tires squeal on sizzling pavement, and she waves at them through her open window before she speeds off.

Burke watches the receding vehicle and says, “They all that peachy? Can I plan on Joseph being a fuckin’ breeze?”

“Fuckin’ whatever,” Pratt says, biting the words out as Diana swings the door open. “She’s all golden princess until you get close enough to see she’s picking the wings off of flies. Why’s she so interested in you, rookie?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Diana snaps. “I don’t know what goes on in that psycho’s brain.”

Burke grimaces.

“Might do well to find out,” he says, “before we learn the hard way.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“John.”

He makes a low noise, staring at the map stretched out before him; it’s his first mistake, because Elliot has never been very patient when she has something to say, and this time is no different. She ducks under his arm and settles herself on the table, on the map, effectively breaking his eyesight with the thing which is keeping him perfectly and completely unfocused on her.

“Do you remember what you said to me when we got married?” she asks him, her voice suspiciously light and unfettered by the usual components of her timbre—like venom, or sharpness. Elliot skims her fingers along the skin exposed by the undone buttons of his shirt.

He watches her. She’s up to something. “I remember every single thing I’ve ever told you,” he replies, stifling his amusement, “and I said many things. Which are you referring to?”

“Pick one and try.”

The neckline of her tank top brushes the bottom of her Wrath scar, the jagged lines marring what was otherwise perfectly unblemished skin. What game are you playing? he thinks, but not without affection, digging his thumb past those little shorts she likes so much. “How about... ‘I can’t wait to rip this fucking dress off of you’?”

“Try again.”

Ah, so that kind of game. Not the sexy kind. “‘I’m going to give you anything you want’?” He says it with a border of cautioning, because Elliot doesn’t cash that line in very often, but when she does it’s almost always for something big. She’s in a mood tonight, this wife of his, the kind of mood that he’d normally like to take advantage of if he wasn’t busy trying to make sure they keep eyes on the Marshal.

Elliot beams at him. “You know me so well, handsome,” she murmurs, and tugs him down by the front of his shirt for a kiss; luxurious, open-mouthed, and slick, and then against his mouth she says, “I want the deputy.”

“For what?” John asks. “Dinner? She’s been around that Marshal, who’s almost certainly here for something to do with Joseph.” When the blonde blinks at him, as if this has no bearing on her request, he barks out a laugh. “You’re asking too much.”

“You said anything.” Elliot pulls back to look at him, fingers still fisted in his shirt.

“I did,” he says, slowly.

“So,” the blonde murmurs silkily, “get her for me.” And then, as though she is the most gracious: “Consider her a belated wedding gift.”

John exhales out of his nose. He’s hard-pressed to say no to Elliot, but he’s got the sneaking suspicion that this is one of the instances where he should. It’s not like Elliot ever asks for anything that’s really unreasonable—not usually—but this? He could get her just about anyone, and she wants Diana Baker?

“For what?” he asks again, brows furrowing as Elliot undoes the rest of the buttons of his shirt so that she can drag her nails against his abdomen. “What could you want the rookie deputy for, hm?”

“Does it really matter?” she prompts, looking up at him through her lashes, and he thinks no, not really, but he knows better.

“Yes,” he replies, the corner of his mouth ticking upward. “It does matter. Really. I’m going to have to pitch this to Joseph and Jacob.”

“I like her,” Elliot says without hesitation. That’s how it always goes—John will push as long as he has to, until he doesn’t anymore, because they always give each other what they want. In the end. “And we could use her.”

He scans her face. Elliot doesn’t say she likes someone without merit. He’s come to trust that she’s got an eye for people, even if he can’t always see it—and he doesn’t see it, not really, in a fresh-in-town junior deputy that’s in over her head.

For a second, he thinks about it; it wouldn’t be the first time that they’ve allowed a third party, but it would be one of few times that she’s chosen, which is different in and of itself. If he knows her at all—and he does—she doesn’t usually pick unless she intends to keep them around for a long while.

“I’ll consider it,” John says finally. “After tomorrow.”

A smile curves her mouth. She slides her arms around him and kisses his sternum, just beneath his own sin, revealed—a pair, the two of them, closer than just lovers.

“That’s all I ask,” Elliot murmurs sweetly as his thumb sweeps the slope of her cheekbone.

It’s not, John thinks, but he thinks it with love, because he does—he loves his wretched little viper, this monster that looks at him through her eyelashes and says things like, I want her, so get her for me.

It’s not all you ask, but that’s just fine.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Absolutely not.”

Jacob is the first to speak after John’s proposition, which is not uncommon. The eldest brother does tend to be the most unforgiving, John finds, of his wife’s aspirations; even though, between all of his siblings, Elliot and Jacob get along the best.

John heaves a sigh. “Elliot is convinced that the deputy can be of use to us, if she’s allowed to—”

“Your wife,” Joseph interrupts, “shows a great lack of self-control asking such a thing.”

John bites back the gut-instinct response—that Elliot shows the most control for asking, rather than just taking what she wants, because as a woman capable of it, she can—and instead swallows back, “She would like to serve the Project, Joseph. In this way.”

“Maybe I wanted the deputy,” Jacob drawls. “Didn’t you ever think of that?”

Turning his gaze to his eldest brother, John says, “Well, have you expressed that to our brother, Jacob?”

“It didn’t occur to me until now,” the redhead replies, feigning an air of innocence. “But now I think I do.”

He can feel his teeth grinding. “Funny, that until Elliot showed an interest—”

“Yes,” Joseph acquiesces after a moment. “You and our most holy sister may pursue the deputy by your own means, but you must—” And here he looks at John, pointed. “—let the love into your heart, brother.”

A wash of relief crashes over him; after the fucking shit show that the last evening had been, John thinks that it’ll be good to bring some good news back to Elliot, who’s been itching to get out into the thick of the madness. Even if Joseph seems to be implying he doesn’t want their typical means used, that’s fine. Open to interpretation, right?

“I want the deputy brought to heel, John,” Joseph continues. “It is crucial for the survival of not only us, but also our people, that you show you are capable of doing this.”

“Of course,” John replies, smiling. “Elliot and I would do anything for you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

When the junior deputy finally comes to, Elliot is sitting across from her. Diana makes a low, vicious sound as she lifts her head and fixes Elliot with her eyes—lovely eyes, Elliot thinks admiringly, while her molars grind and the noise vibrates through her head. John’s reluctantly left her alone; he thinks he should be the one to soften Diana for her, but Elliot thinks John’s just going to push her farther away.

“Good morning, sugar,” she greets, and Diana spits onto the floor.

“Fuck you.”

“Yes,” Elliot replies sweetly, “if you behave.”

Diana’s eyes flutter for a moment, like she isn’t expecting that so soon and so fast—but certainly she expected it in some respect, because Elliot’s been purposefully obvious about her intention for the deputy, to both Diana and John. She doesn’t want a mindless convert, dulled and emptied out by Bliss and agreeing blindly.

Her fingers itch. She tugs absently at the sleeve of her sweater, rolling her chair forward as the brunette pulls at her binds.

“What the fuck did you do with Hudson?” Diana grinds out.

“I wouldn’t worry about her,” Elliot dismisses, and waves her hand. “She’ll be just fine.”

There’s a brief moment where the brunette looks at her, sweeps sharp, green eyes over Elliot and she cocks a half-done smile at her before she says, “Yeah, Joey told me all about you.”

Elliot smiles. “Only good things, I’m sure.”

“Said you’re a fucking bitch.” Diana arches a brow loftily. “A nutjob.”

“That checks out.”

Diana spits on the floor again, ridding her mouth of the blood from her rough handling, but this time she spits it out at Elliot’s feet. Elliot sighs and tucks some hair behind her ear just before Diana asks, “So, what’s the plan here, princess?”

She blinks at the deputy. She's a little pleased at the pet name, but she doesn't want to let it show. “Plan?”

“Yeah,” Diana says, rolling her eyes. “C’mon, I’m not fucking stupid. What’s the plan? What’s the dynamic? John sends you in because you’re the pretty one, soften me up, and then he comes in to finish the job and cleanse my sins or what the fuck ever it is he thinks he’s doing?”

Elliot feigns bashfulness and flutters her lashes. “You think I’m pretty?”

“Fucking come on,” Di bites out viciously. “Whatever the ploy is, get it over and done with.”

It’s no fun when you say it like that, she thinks, but she can tell Diana’s sort of at her limit—not quite, because if this was her limit, then Elliot would have greatly overestimated her—but she’s getting there. Residual Bliss still burning through her system, and for what? For her to have more of an attitude? How well she’d chosen.

“There’s no ploy, Diana,” Elliot says after a moment, leaning back in her chair. “John wanted to cleanse you his way—I told him no.”

The deputy regards her for a moment, tugging absently at the binds on her wrists. “Why?” she asks, warily.

“Because it wouldn’t work,” Elliot replies. “You can’t make someone get better. They have to want it. And I don’t think that you do, honey.”

Diana’s eyes flicker for a moment. Elliot can tell that she’s trying to regulate her breathing, trying to smooth it on the way in and out of her so that it isn’t so laborious, but it’s hard to do when there’s Bliss wreaking havoc on all of your defenses. She would know—she tries not to expose herself to that shit if she doesn’t have to.

“You’re right,” she says after minute, “I don’t want to “get better”, and I sure as fuck don’t want anything you’d give to me.”

“I don’t want that either,” Elliot tells her. “Not through any kind of religious baptism or cleansing, anyway.” She waves her hand and settles back against the seat, fishing a carton of cigarettes out of her pocket and sticking one in her mouth before she wiggles the box at Diana. “Smoke?”

The brunette regards her hatefully, silently, and Elliot shrugs before she lights her own, tosses the cigarettes onto the nearby workbench and takes a drag. When she blows the smoke out through the corner of her mouth, she says, “I don’t think we’re that different, Diana.”

“No?” Diana prompts, her mouth twisting around the words ruefully. “I could count the ways. One of us is a married to a fucking psychopathic kidnapper...”

“Colorful.”

“... and one of us also is a psychopathic kidnapper....”

Elliot smiles, but she doesn’t show her teeth, not the way that she smiles at Burke or Pratt because she wants to make them squirm. Diana rolls her neck.

“So if you don’t wanna cleanse me,” she begins, barely modulating the venom in her voice, “why the fuck am I here?”

“I like you,” Elliot says plainly, because she’s never been able to beat around the bush, not really. She’s not as sneaky as John, as brutal as Jacob, as smooth as Joseph. She’s not like any of them, and sometimes, that’s lonely. 

The deputy regards her with something close to a poison-riddled look. Instead of addressing I like you, Diana seems to take advantage of this and makes a demand, instead. 

"That Bliss shit makes me feel like garbage," she says. "Don't give it to me anymore."

"You did puke it up quite a bit, didn't you?"

Diana grimaces. She looks like she might want to say something, perhaps regarding Elliot's explanation, but the blonde waves her hand to stop whatever is about to come out of the deputy's mouth. She's not there to argue the logistics of a cosmic pull, anyway.

“I moved out of Hope County straight after high school,” she explains, “and back home to Georgia. Big city. Very exciting. I was tired of this little town and how few opportunities it had. Atlanta? That shit had so much going on.” Elliot pauses, crossing her leg over her knee.

“So glad,” Diana seethes, “that I’m getting a fuckin’ origin story.”

Elliot sucks her teeth. “Anyway, I date a shithead, I break up with him, and then he breaks into my apartment and holds a knife to my neck.” Elliot waves her hand again, because these details are so inconsequential to her at this point; she can barely remember the boy’s face, or anything about that moment except for a few key details. The color of his sweater sleeve (cream); the smell of his cologne (expensive); the paint chipping around her doorframe (small, baby blue chipping to white plaster underneath).

The brunette stares at her. Elliot takes a drag of the cigarette and taps the ash off of the end.

“I’ll spare you the details,” she continues, “but do you know what I was thinking that whole time? And after?”

Diana’s jaw works loosely, absently, like her brain is firing off neurons without needing to. “I don’t fucking know.”

“Try and guess.” She pauses, and then says meaningfully, “I’m sure you’ve got an idea of the kinds of things your mind says when you’re in a moment like that.”

When she watches Diana and smokes her cigarette with leisurely, relaxed movements, the brunette’s eyes flicker over the smoke cloud and she manages out in a wobbling sneer, “Probably something like—like that it wasn’t your fault, or some other kind of psychological-drivel to make you feel like you were in control.”

Elliot comes to a stand. The deputy’s closer than she thinks; it is about control, but just a different path.

“No,” she says, planting a hand on the arm of the chair Diana’s tied to so she can lean down. “I kept thinking, ‘this isn’t going to ever fucking happen again’.”

There’s a strange suspended moment between them. Diana’s lovely—more lovely than she’d let on, probably—but more than that, watching the deputy claw and rake her way through group after group of Eden’s Gate members, causing them problem after problem, Elliot can only think, aren’t we a little pair, the two of us?

A person didn’t get used to killing so fast unless they’d at least thought about it before. Maybe done it before.

“Do you know what it’s like, Diana,” Elliot continues, “to realize that you’ve reached a point of being able to do anything to stop something like that from happening again? It’s not oppressive. It’s liberating. Why do you think an animal stuck in a trap will chew its own foot off to get out?”

She straightens up. She wants to touch—tuck the hair away from her face, trace the lines of her face—but she won’t. Not yet. She’s more patient than John is, more willing to wait for that moment of satisfaction.

Diana says, “It’s real fucking liberating knowing Hudson’s chained up somewhere.”

“You have to stop giving a shit,” Elliot replies, “about other people’s freedoms before you’ve gotten your own.”

The brunette opens her mouth to say something, but before she can, Elliot plunges on. “We’re the same because we’re both going to get it done, whatever it is for us,” she says. “By any means necessary.”

Diana’s staring at the wall. She’s silent, and spitefully so, and she won’t look at Elliot; maybe because she knows that’s exactly what Elliot wants. In fact, that’s almost assuredly what it is.

“I want a cigarette,” the brunette says after a moment, petulant.

Elliot smiles thinly and brings her own to Diana’s mouth. More enunciated, Diana says, “I want my own cigarette.”

“It’s nice to want things, deputy,” Elliot idles. “Take it or don’t, it’s up to you.”

She does, after a moment of deliberation. Elliot drops the cigarette to the concrete floor as she breathes the smoke out and stamps it out with her foot. Diana takes a long time to blow the smoke out of her mouth, and she shifts in the chair; her eyes flicker up to meet Elliot’s, and she’s sure she can see something wicked in them.

“Animals chew themselves out of a trap because they’re animals,” Diana says after a second, not exactly the profession of attraction Elliot was hoping for. “Not because it’s liberating.”

Elliot laughs and pushes the chair she’d been sitting in back and out of the way. She picks up her carton of cigarettes from the tool bench and replies. Glancing over her shoulder, she can feel her expression softening when she looks at the deputy—soaking wet, rattling with cold and what Bliss they’d manage to pelt her with. Not much, they told her, whatever “much” meant.

“We’re all animals, deputy,” she acquiesces after a moment. “In the fucking end, anyway.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Glad you’re getting along with your deputy.”

John knows he sounds petulant. He knows, and he still can’t stop it from coming out of him as Elliot peels her sweater off over her head and drops it onto the floor. She glances at him over her shoulder.

“Green with envy looks good on you, baby,” she idles, and he feels his molars grind.

“You could play a little hard to get,” John says, trying for lofty and failing. “She’s a fucking menace, after all. She’s been causing problems nonstop, she took Fall’s End from us—”

Elliot says, “Our,” without stopping her undressing, which is two parts frustrating and one part endearing because John knows she’s trying to disarm him. She’s not stealthy about her tactics, and she doesn’t try to be.

“Our what?” he asks her, barely containing his irritation.

“Our deputy,” his wife replies sweetly. She turns, finally, to look at him—giving him her eyes, because she knows that he hates when she doesn’t—and leans against the dresser. “You called her my deputy. She’s not mine. She’s ours.”

John presses his lips into a thin line. He knows Elliot. He knows what it is she’s doing, because even though Diana has been nothing but a fucking thorn in his side, hearing the blonde say she’s ours gives him a pleasant, wretched kind of thrill writhing slick and hot in the pit of his stomach. As much as he knows her intimately, so too does she know exactly the kind of thing to keep him interested.

But it is a little different, if she’s considering sharing. If Diana isn’t her own private conquest.

“Is that so?” he asks, managing to keep his voice conversational now despite his piqued interest, sidling over to her. “I seem to recall that she was supposed to be my belated wedding gift to you.”

Reaching up, he drags his fingers along the inked scales of the serpent curved around her hip, swallowing up some of those gossamer-fine scars she had given herself and stretching down her thigh.

“Well,” Elliot murmurs demurely, “would I be a very Godly woman if I didn’t share with my husband?”

The words push the corners of his mouth upward.

“No.” He sweeps his eyes over her face. “I suppose not.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Joseph quickly comes to think that the deputy is more trouble than she’s worth. John hates when he says things like to Elliot with him still in the room, because he knows that Elliot isn’t going to cow to his brother—even though she should. It’s one of the most irritating traits of hers.

“She’s making a mess,” Joseph says, standing in their kitchen, watching Elliot with his eyes—the same way that he watches Jacob, sometimes. With wariness. “More of a mess than the good she would do us if she were converted.”

Elliot replies tartly, “It’s a good thing you don’t lift a finger to clean up a mess then, isn’t it? John does it for you, no questions asked, and by proxy, I do too.”

“If you have an issue with the way things are,” his brother articulates carefully, “then perhaps you should discuss the expectations that have been set out for you by God, with God.”

Elliot’s jaw sets. The contention sits there, her death, locked in her jaw.

Oh, John thinks, and he says, “I’ll be back.” She gives him a sharp look.

“I think that’s best,” she bites out. He knows what that means—she wants to be alone to argue with Joseph as she pleases, without having to worry about Joseph going, well, what do you think, John? Because he will, inevitably. He will, and John will have to look at Elliot and say, you know that he’s right, Joseph knows best, we’re here to shepherd.

As he descends to the lower bowels of the ranch, he stops at the bottom of the stairs.

“... do more for you than you fucking realize...”

“—refrain from speaking to me like—”

“—deserve to have this, Joseph—”

They should have taken Diana to the bunker, not kept her here. Not where there is so little space between them and her. The lack of distance lets Elliot feel close to her, and like any unloved animal, when she has something to keep, she guards it viciously. This is no different.

Diana is no different.

“You’re quite the conversation piece,” John tells the brunette when he walks into the room. She’s been with them for three days, and in that time she’s nearly escaped; unfortunately, the only exit from the basement is to go up, and she’s easy to catch up there.

The deputy regards him with a half-lidded gaze that reeks of impudence. “What’s it like?”

“Having a conversation piece?”

“Being so pathetic you have to kidnap someone to be able to have conversation,” Diana drawls venomously. The words spike a bout of irritation in him, hot and wretched, and he thinks he doesn’t know if it was worse to come down here to avoid Joseph and Elliot’s argument or if he should have stayed.

“My brother thinks you’re more trouble than you’re worth,” John bites out.

“I’m really fuckin’ concerned about Joseph’s opinion of me.” She smiles, all teeth, and the gesture strikes him as eerily reminiscent to Elliot. “So what, you’re gonna baptize me now or whatever instead?”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” he snaps, circling the chair that has been her home. “He doesn’t even want you cleansed. I’m thinking he’s just going to have us kill you. Stick your head up somewhere to send a message to all of your little friends in the resistance.”

Diana’s quiet at that for a minute, before she says, “Wifey won’t let that happen.”

“You—” John sucks in a sharp breath. “Don’t call her that.”

“Why not? She’s been making fucking bedroom eyes at me every second, that’s not my fault.”

Diana’s goading him, but it’s hard to see around the irritation. She’s impertinent, and impudent, and there’s nothing that he wants to do more than to just break that inside her—until she’s saying his name and begging and begging and begging. It’s the part of him that Joseph wanted him to cleanse and cut out, but that Elliot tells him she likes the best.

We’re closer than lovers, she would say, digging her nails in hard enough to draw blood, the same sin binds us.

The same sin that she sees in Diana, too. Wrath, he knows, even though he hates it.

“She has taken a particular interest in you,” John relents after a moment, though he doesn’t like to, “deputy.”

“I’m a catch,” Diana agrees. He sucks his teeth.

“My wife has always been a purveyor of wretched things.” John leans against the tool bench, narrowing his eyes. “I suppose she must think there’s something salvageable about you.”

“Is there a point?” the deputy asks, sounding tired. “To this... Monologuing? It’s very Marvel-villain of you, but I don’t have any popcorn or alcohol, and it makes it a lot less enjoyable.”

“Look,” he hisses, pushing off from the tool bench, “if we had it my way, you’d have your sin revealed and you’d be on your fucking knees begging us to keep you, you wicked little—”

“John?”

Elliot’s voice drifts down from the stairwell, and he snaps his mouth shut. She’d be furious if she knew he’d lost his temper. Maybe. Probably.

“Uh-oh,” Diana sing-songs, just low enough for him to hear, “here comes the ol’ ball and chain. Isn’t that right, buddy?”

The insinuation hangs there, between them, that Elliot is their ball and chain, and he feels his blood pressure spike. “Shut. Up,” John grinds out between his teeth, just as he hears footfalls descend the stairs above. When his wife does finally turn the corner, there’s a lovely high colour in her cheeks, and her eyes look a little wild.

“Bonding time?” she asks.

“Hardly,” John replies, just as Diana says, “Oh, you know it,” and he shoots her a look. Elliot had called her their deputy, their shared conquest, but both he and Diana look at Elliot more than they want to look at each other.

He does want, he thinks. He feels that tell-tale itch. It wouldn’t be so strong if Diana didn’t just buck against them all the fucking time, but he does want, which makes it all the more frustrating when she turns that venom on him.

“We should give the deputy a little blissful encouragement,” John remarks, turning his gaze to Elliot. “It might make her behave.”

“I don’t think so,” the blonde idles, as he reaches up and tucks a strand of hair away from her face. Oh, yes—she is furious. He can feel the tension from the grind of her molars against each other. The conversation with Joseph didn’t go well, then.

“Joseph wants to speak with you,” Elliot tells him as he runs the pads of his fingers down the column of her throat. There’s a nasty, jagged scar there—he’s trying to remember where it’s from, but he can’t.

“About what?” he says, brows pulling together.

“Wives, submit to your husband as to the lord,” she intones, the obedience in her voice cloying and all-too-sweet to be genuine, “for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour—”

“Fucking unreal,” Diana says from the chair, and Elliot’s mouth ticks upward.

“As the church submits to Christ,” she finishes, fixing John with her eyes, “etcetera and so on.”

John is filled with dread. He thinks maybe Elliot’s mouthed off one too many times—she’s never liked Joseph, never even been particularly religious, and her own heritage is such a violent mishmash of religion and criminal activity that she’s hardly got the track record for piety. Scarlet is a practicing Catholic and Ambrose’s opinions on religion are unknown, considering that he’s been vanished for so long, so it’s no surprise that Elliot views religion as something like ambiguity.

“I’ll be quick,” he murmurs, which they both know isn’t true, but he says it anyway.

“Don’t rush on my behalf.” Her eyes are dark—he can see the pupils eating away at the baby blue of her irises, and when she reaches up and brushes his hand away from her face, there is a tiny tremor in her hands.

Not good at all, he thinks, stepping around her and looking at Diana. Her eyes are on Elliot for a heartbeat longer, and then she looks at him, and he knows that she’s seen it too. She’s too sharp not to have.

As he approaches the stairs, John says, “Play nice, hellcat.”

“I always do.”

Near the top, he hears Diana say, “I don’t think you’re capable of playing well with others, princess,” and Elliot says, “He said play nice, not play fair, and I can be plenty nice,” and he feels a little surge of warmth at the playfulness in her tone. It’s a timbre that he doesn’t hear out of her often, and almost exclusively with him, so to hear it now not only makes him a little envious, but also pleased.

The deputy is a wretched, wicked thing, yes; she should be cleansed, but there is also a part of him that knows Elliot would not want her any other way, just like he wouldn’t want Elliot any other way.

And that’s good enough for him.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The deputy escapes.

It’s not a surprise to Elliot when he tells her, and he thinks maybe she was waiting for it all along, considering that Joseph had conditionally allowed them their pursuit of Diana as long as they can keep her under control; it would not be completely unfounded to think maybe Elliot gave her a way out, to keep the chase fun. To keep it fresh.

She takes Fall’s End back. She takes the fucking plane back. She takes Hudson back. She takes, and takes, and takes, and that’s all Diana Baker is capable of doing, John thinks—fucking taking, even after he and Elliot had been so gracious with her. It grinds against his patience as though his nerve endings have been exposed; it shreds the last of his control, sinks its claws into him like nothing else.

Sunrise Farm. Rae Rae’s. The Lamb of God Church. One after another, they play this game of existential tug-of-war; where Diana takes one and moves on, Elliot surges back in to take it back again. He thinks that his wife should be able to crush the Resistance under her bootheel, but he has the sneaking suspicion that she doesn’t want it to be done so quickly. And, in many ways, Diana outfoxes them with what appears to be little effort; their supply trucks get mowed down. The silos burn. Men keep dying.

These are all things that should disparage Elliot, but each time John points it out to her—“She’s wicked, Ell,” he’ll posit—she regards him loftily and says, “Well, she can’t be anything less than us, can she?”

Diana gets pulled back to them. She escapes. It happens over and over, until the lines start blurring, until John thinks maybe, sometimes, she lets them catch her—like she’s looking forward to those moments. When she’s there, at the ranch, things feel different; Elliot moves with a strange surety around the deputy, like they know each other already, deep in the marrow of their bones. Maybe, in a way, they do.

And in those moments, there’s a shift. Elliot allows her freedoms on good behavior, which run on such thin ice considering Diana herself, and are almost always immediately broken at first. But no matter how many of their things she destroys or spits on or takes, no matter how many times John finds himself disgustingly exasperated with her—he is always happy to see her back. 

In part because he knows Joseph has given Jacob and Faith both leave to kill her if they have the misfortune of coming across her, and in part because he sees the way Elliot leans into her like a flower to sunlight; her fingers ghost over Diana’s skin, and she pulls Diana into her lap and kisses her, hot and open-mouthed, and sighs when Diana petulantly sinks her teeth into her lower lip.

It draws blood, and John knows from the way his wife looks at him that it delights her.

“Wicked,” Elliot murmurs then, tongue peeking out to swipe the blood from her lip, reiterating the word that John favors Diana with the most. “Don’t you think so, baby?”

“Incredibly,” John agrees. He climbs onto the bed behind Elliot, sweeping the hair from her shoulder and pressing a kiss to the junction of her shoulder.

“How well we chose,” the blonde purrs, dragging her fingertips along the column of Diana’s throat, and he can see the goosebumps rise in her skin. Diana’s eyes flicker, dreamily, and their gazes meet over Elliot’s shoulder. She’s tame, like this—or nearly-tame, close to domesticated, at least for a little while. It’s only ever for a little while. And though they fall into a strange, tentative routine every time she’s here—even though John can lean over Elliot’s shoulder and pull Diana into a bruising kiss, until he feels her breath hitch.

He loves it. He loves the feeling of Diana’s mouth parting under his, loves that their fingers meet, tangled, in Elliot’s hair, grounding Diana to them. At night, when Elliot has contented herself with enough of a taste of Diana and John both, when they lay tangled together, Diana kept between them.

Our deputy, Elliot had said; in moments like these, it feels true.

“You missed us,” the blonde says against Diana’s neck. “We missed you, too. Especially John.”

Her eyes are sly when she looks at him, when he pulls back from Diana to regard his wife curiously. She takes the brunette’s chin in her grip and guides her back, brushing their noses together.

“Missed having both of his little vipers,” she murmurs silkily, and John sees the flicker of her tongue against Diana’s lips. “Didn’t you, John?”

Yes, he thinks, but does not say, because his mind is encompassed with the way Elliot kisses Diana; reverently, with the intent to worship. Never rushed and never urgent, only ever luxuriating in it.

At first, he and Diana get along for Elliot’s sake—as much as they can, anyway, because even Elliot is not enough of a bridge to force them to get along—but when they have the deputy, and his wife gets called away, they fall into a kind of rhythm with each other. It’s not a familiar cadence. It’s daunting, and a little jarring, the way they bite and scratch at each other for comfort, both missing their girl.

“I’m not going to stay,” Diana says then, against the blonde’s mouth, the same way that she said it into John’s mouth. Her neck and shoulders are littered with the remnants of their time together, and he wonders if the Resistance members ask.

“We know,” John says, leaning down and grazing his teeth across the fading bruise of a love bite. He drinks in the way Diana hisses and squirms. “You’ll always leave.”

“And always come back,” Elliot agrees. She noses past the hair gathering in the crook of Diana’s shoulder. 

“Like you were never gone at all.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It becomes her mantra. I’m not going to stay, Diana says every time, and every time she only sticks around for a day or more before she dissipates into the air like a wraith. He doesn’t know how long it goes on like this, but he does know that each time Joseph becomes more impatient. Each time, the act of losing her strikes a chord of panic in John—she won’t come back this time, he thinks, or maybe this time she’ll come back with more than just her, or or or—but Elliot doesn’t feed into his panic; she treats it like anything else, with the confidence that the deputy will come back. He desperately wants to keep Diana there with them, where he can see and touch and taste her, where he is certain Jacob hasn’t gotten her, but she always follows through on the promise of leaving.

“Aren’t you at your limit?” John asks, late in the evening, watching Diana from across the island counter in the kitchen. This time around, Elliot has been gone for most of the time Diana has been here, which makes it more difficult to know that her tolerance for sticking around is going to be running out soon. By the time Elliot comes back, Diana might already be gone.

“I’m always at my limit,” she replies, her idle venom more a comfort now than ever, “with you.”

“You’re a real comedian, deputy.” He saunters around the island, his hands finding her hips and his mouth finding her neck. He likes hearing the way her breath slides out of her when he does. “Though I seem to recall a specific instance in which you were not at your limit, and couldn’t stop asking me for more—”

He’s about to follow through on the insinuation, because Diana’s eyes narrow when she looks at him but she’s warm and close and he watches her gaze flicker down to his mouth, but the sound of the front doors to the house opening startles him out of the dreamy haze the brunette tends to put him in. John pushes off from the counter and walks out of the kitchen, brows knitting together at the impudence of someone to come barging in without being announced.

“Herald.” It’s one of the men, and his face cloudy. “It’s—I’m sorry, we—”

“Spit it out,” John grinds out between his teeth. He hears the sound of Diana rustling in the kitchen behind him, and then from outside, Elliot’s voice.

“Don’t fucking touch me—”

The blonde shoulders her way through the doorway as someone flutters nervously behind her. John takes in a number of details very rapidly: she’s clutching at a spot close to her shoulder, just below her collarbone, there is blood coming out of her mouth, and she’s fucking pissed.

“Get a doctor,” John barks out, just as Diana steps around him and goes to Elliot. He does, too, but mostly to clear the members of Eden’s Gate out of the room because he knows Elliot’s going to come unglued if they stick around.

“Fucking Pratt,” Elliot seethes, even as Diana’s hands go to her, trying to guide her to the couch. The blonde jerks when she feels hands on her, looking wild, and John tenses for just a second; in moments like these, his wife’s ability to differentiate between threat and non-threat is almost non-existent, and he’s suffered the consequences of it plenty of times. “Don’t—fucking—”

“It’s me, you monster,” Diana snaps. “Sit the fuck down.”

The blonde’s breathing is labored. She swallows back what he can only assume is a mouthful of blood before he says, “Hellcat.”

“I’m going,” she bites out, and then she does. Diana touches her elbow, and she stiffens, and then sits down where the brunette tells her to. When she pulls her hand away from her shoulder, it’s sticky and wet with blood.

“Jesus Christ,” Diana says, a little wrench in her voice that she quickly snuffs out. “Getting sloppy?”

“Eat shit,” Elliot wheezes. “I hate that fuckhead. Can’t wait til I—” She sucks in a sharp breath. “—til I g-get my fucking—hands—”

Diana is circling Elliot, trying to get a good look, as John grabs a first aid kid from under the kitchen sink. He keeps thinking about all of the blood coming out of her mouth; it’s not the first time he’s seen her like this, but it’s definitely not any easier, either.

“Exit wound?” the deputy asks.

“Fucking shot me with a 9 milli FMJ,” the blonde says between her teeth, “there’d better fucking be an—”

“Stop,” Diana interjects as John returns with the first aid kit, “being unhelpful.”

It’s a torturous amount of time between Elliot’s arrival and the arrival of the doctor they have for such occasions. In the meantime, Diana does what she can—she knows probably more than both of them, even Elliot with her close proximity to violence, about how to stabilize a gun wound; she cleans it and stops the bleeding as much as she can, her face set in a grim, tight expression.

The brunette packs the wound with gauze and says, “You’re a goddamn idiot.”

“Cute one though, huh?” Elliot asks, her voice a little hoarse and her eyes fluttering. “Be cuter if someone could get me some fucking oxy.”

“Save it for the doctor, princess.”

“So glad,” John manages out tartly, Elliot’s fingers loosely curling against his palm, “so glad we have your calming presence here, deputy.”

Diana regards him for a moment, and she looks about to say something when the doctor chooses precisely that moment to arrive. He doesn’t do much by way of conversation; he works silently, intensely, his fingers moving a sort of surety that comes with many years of practice, but he hardly looks at John or Diana while he works.

It’s probably odd. People know that Diana is around, but they don’t know-know, in the sense that there’s never been an official announcement or acknowledgement of what’s going on. Occasionally, the doctor’s eyes furtively flicker towards the brunette; but if he’s feeling pressed to ask, he doesn’t let it show.

By the time Elliot is stitched-up, drugged-up, and planted into the bed, the heat and bubbling fury have died out of her, the embers smothered by the painkillers. Diana lays in the master bedroom next to her while the doctor talks to him outside in the hall.

“Bed rest, minimum three weeks,” he says. “If she keeps coughing up blood, call me. No strenuous activity, no stress—”

“Doctor,” John says tightly, “with all due respect, let’s keep the expectations under control.”

The doctor grimaces. “Bed rest, three weeks. Everything else, just—try your best.”

John nods, short and impatient, and dismisses the man with a gesture of his hand before he steps into the bedroom. Elliot’s murmuring something to Diana, but the words are slurring and her voice is pitched so low beyond normal volume he can’t make it out, even from there.

He wanders to the side of the bed, sitting down on the edge by Elliot’s hip.

“What’d he say?” the blonde asks, her words slurring and her fingers tangling in strands of Diana’s dark hair. “Two days, ready—go?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Diana says irritably.

“Three weeks bedrest,” John tells her. “He thinks you have a collapsed lung.”

“Fuckoff,” Elliot groans, the words blending together.

“He also said no strenuous activity, no stress—”

At that, Diana laughs, the sound billowing out of her in a short, disbelieving bark. “Fucking what?”

“That...means you t-two have to….behave,” Elliot mumbles, her eyes flickering. “No stressin’ me—no streeeessin’—”

“Stop.” Diana sounds almost affectionately exasperated. “You are so painful to listen to.”

“—no stressin’,” Elliot finishes stubbornly, “me. Out.”

Later that night, when she’s finally drifted off into sleep and John and Diana have her settled between them, John props his head up in his hand and sees Diana still awake. She’s looking at the window. It’s open, and the late-August breeze comes drifting in, bringing with it the smell of pine and wilderness.

“At your limit?” John asks as he did before, keeping his voice soft so as not to stir Elliot. Normally, he wouldn’t ask—he would just wait to realize that Diana’s not there, and go from that point on. But it’s different, now, with Elliot like this.

The brunette turns her gaze to him. For a second, her eyes flicker over Elliot, who stirs a little.

“She always this annoying?” Diana says, instead of answering, and by annoying he thinks she means worry-inducing.

“Like it’s an Olympic Sport,” John replies.

She exhales out of her nose. They sit like that for a little while, until Diana settles back against the pillow. Elliot’s fingers are knotted loosely into the sleeve of her t-shirt, and the blonde’s breathing stutters and hitches in her chest.

“Not yet,” she answers, finally. “Not at my limit yet.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“How many days has it been?”

John’s voice breaks Elliot out of her reverie. She blinks, and realizes that she’s been checked out. The painkillers make her brain foggy, and if it weren’t for the excruciating, searing pain in her chest and shoulder, she’d just stop taking them.

The sound of the shower running in the bathroom adjacent to the bedroom trickles in through the fog. That’s right: she’s in bed. She’s in bed, and John is next to her, his fingers tracing the coil of the tattooed serpent on her thigh, the cigarette in her fingers burning for who knows how long since the last time she’s taken an inhale of it.

“Since what?” Elliot asks, looking at her husband. John slides his hand up and snags her fingers, bringing the wedding ring she sports to his mouth.

“Since our viper came back to us.”

She tries to think back that far, but it’s hard. Elliot reaches over with a wince and taps the cigarette out into the ashtray. In the bathroom, she can hear the water switch off.

After a moment, she replies, “Must be over two weeks.”

Her husband makes a low noise. She brushes her fingers through his beard, and he murmurs, “Longer than usual.”

“What are you two gossiping about?”

Elliot’s gaze flickers up sluggishly to Diana, standing in her towel, propped up against the doorway. She’s such a far cry from the girl that she was when they first got their hands on her that it’s almost easy to forget she ever existed in a place where she wasn’t theirs. How absolutely dreadful, Elliot thinks, just absolutely fucking dreadful, to think she was once not ours.

“How long we have to wait for you to come back over here,” John says easily. “Not only are you using up all the hot water, but Elliot’s pining.”

“Oh, yeah?” Diana sounds amused as she makes her way to the bed. “Poor little bed-ridden snake, aren’t you?”

Elliot laughs, because it should be absurd—it should be, that Diana is here, leaning in when Elliot beckons her, the brunette’s mouth soft and sweet against her own. It should be absurd, but it isn’t, because this isn’t the first time Diana’s kissed her like this and it won’t be the last, either.

“Every time we’re apart,” Elliot confirms resolutely, “I wallow around. Just ask John.”

“I have a hard time picturing you wallowing.”

“She does,” John says, planting a kiss on Elliot’s jaw. “She wallows around and says, when do you think our Di will be back? Does she think about us?” And then, grinning wickedly, he adds, “Do you think if I ask nicely, she’ll shove her fingers in my mouth?”

Elliot laughs, grabbing John’s jaw and jostling him. “You fucker.”

“I will,” Diana says, and now she sounds sly, and in the way that Elliot does. “If you ask.”

Pausing, Elliot feels her chest tighten a little. Mine, she thinks tiredly, glancing between John and Diana both. They’re here, and hers, and even though she told John the deputy is for them she thinks maybe they’re both for her.

“What else?” She turns her gaze back to Diana. “What else will you do, if I ask?”

Diana’s gaze flickers. Her lips press into a thin little line. I’m not going to stay, she looks like she wants to say, but she doesn’t. She just says, “You’re chatty as fuck tonight, aren’t you? Sounds like it might be time for you to pop another painkiller,” and goes to fetch the pill bottle.

Elliot settles back against the pillows and watches the brunette rifling through the dresser. This is when Diana says, I’m not going to stay, her little mantra, but she doesn’t, and John tangles their fingers together and squeezes her hand. 

The deputy always leaves, and she always comes back. She hasn’t said yes, she’ll stay, and she also hasn’t said no, she’ll go, and in this instance maybe that means exactly what Elliot wants it to.

Maybe, it means this time, she’ll stay.

[365days365movies]

January 3, 2021: Cliffhanger (1993)

Sylvester Stallone.

The Italian Stallion here is one of the most prominent action movie stars of the ‘80s and ‘90s, coming to prominence with Rocky in 1976. And before we even start this review, here’s the deal: I refuse to make fun of the man’s iconic voice. Yeah, I get it, we’ve all shouted “YOADRIAAAAAAH!” at some point, but his voice and face is due to a botched birth, which pinched a nerve and caused permanent facial paralysis. We all got something, and I’m not gonna target him for it. It’s been done enough.

I also can’t really comment on his acting ability. Why? Well...OK, some confession time. I’ve BARELY seen Stallone in a film. That’s going to be fixed this year, as I’ve added many of his films to the list for 2021. So, what have and haven’t I seen? Let’s start with haven’t, shall we?

I haven’t seen:

Rocky (1976): Sports November

Rocky II (1979): maybe Sports November

First Blood (1982): later this month

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992): Please. Please don’t make me.

Cliffhanger (1993): Give it a minute.

Demolition Man (1993): Science Fiction September

Judge Dredd (1995): maybe Science Fiction September

The Expendables (2010): later this month

I have seen:

Tango and Cash (1989): Dumbass buddy cop movie with Stallone and Russell; 2/5.

Antz (1998): Sub-par Dreamworks rip-off of an already kinda sub-par Pixar movie; 2/5

Spy Kids 3: Game Over (2003): Yeah...I saw this in theaters, on my birthday. I saw everything in red and green for, like, an hour afterwards. Worth it. 2/5.

Rocky Balboa (2006): Somehow, this is the only Rocky movie I’ve seen, Creed included. And from what I remember, it was fine. 3/5.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017): The ONE good Stallone movie I’ve seen, and it isn’t even a Stallone movie. 5/5.

So, yeah, I haven’t seen any good Stallone movies, sans the one. But now, some of you are probably asking another question: “Why Cliffhanger? You literally haven’t seen any major Stallone movie, so WHY CLIFFHANGER?”

First of all, I think everybody’s kinda slept on this movie. It was a big success back in the day, but people have basically forgotten it at this point. You’ll see in this review that there aren’t even many GIFs from the movie made, and it wasn’t easy to find enough clips to make my own, honestly. Does it deserve to get slept on? I mean, we’ll see, right? 

Secondly, I just watched a Tom Cruise movie where he dangles off of a rope, and I liked that, so why not do that for the next one, I guess! And third...honestly, I saw this on the list, and it kinda just spoke to me. It called to me, like a boxer calling to his love. Hey, look, a reference to a movie I’ve never seen. We’ll get there. We’ll get there. Oh, and SPOILERS from here on out, by the way.

Recap

We start on a cliff. Surprise.

Michael Rooker (y’know, Yondu from Guardians of the Galaxy) is hanging out (HA!) with his girlfriend Sarah on a cliff called the Tower. Y’know, third date kinda stuff. First date is dinner, second date is dinner and a movie, and third date is free-climbing up a cliff to your near death. Well...near is a strong word…

ANYHOOOO, We meet Gabe, played by the big man himself, Sly Stallion, who’s a rescue ranger in the Rocky Mountains. So, Rocky, the Rockies Rescue Ranger is sent to save Yondu and Sarah. Unfortunately...someone forgot to check the equipment before the rescue mission…

Not gonna lie, this scene is actually heart-wrenchingly tense. And the ending...well, if you’ve seen Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls...you know what happens here. And it’s actually somewhat traumatic, for Gabe and for me. Seriously. It’s a roughie.

Cut to almost a year later, and Gabe is...NOT OK. He and his wife, Jessie (who is a pilot for the Rescue Rangers, and was there when Sarah fell), have been separate, and Gabe just can’t do it anymore. And I get it, honestly. That was a hard experience, losing someone and blaming yourself. And no, it wasn’t Gabe’s fault. But to add insult to injury, he has NO SUPPORT SYSTEM. His wife doesn’t seem to understand, his former best friend Yondu hates him (getting GotG Vol. 2 flashbacks), and he’s basically all alone. Geez. You guys are jerks.

Meanwhile, a plot is afoot! And hey, it’s Tripp from CSI: Miami, AKA Rex Linn! I always liked him, so it’s cool to see him in other roles. Turns out, though, that Tripp is working with a group of thugs to steal from the US Treasury. This villainous group of 8 thugs is led by John Lithgow, AKA Lord Farquaad from Shrek, who is channeling Hans Gruber from Die Hard, and trying super-hard on that British accent. Anyway, after a pretty great mid-flight action sequence, the group of thugs loses 3 suitcases of money, amounting to millions. In the process, they also lose Expendable Thugs #1 and #2. This will be a trend. 

The thugs crash their plane into the mountain, killing Expendable Thug #3 in the process. They stage a rescue situation to get some expert mountain climbers to help them find the money. Jessie, after having just told her hubby to suck it up like a big boy (I don’t really like Jessie, by the way), begs him to help find these people. Reluctantly, he agrees, and has a tension filled reunion with his former best friend, who blames him (unfairly, in my opinion). That animosity disappears as soon as they find themselves held hostage by the thugs. And so, the money hunt begins!

First suitcase is on a cliffside, and Stallone goes to get it. Some shenanigans quickly ensure, and the thugs shoot at him. An avalanche occurs because these dumbasses have never seen a movie, and in the process, we lose a suitcase of money, Expendable Thug #4 goes the way of Sarah, and Gabe is presumed dead. Farquaad tells Yondu to tell his coworkers that everything is fine, and he’s gonna stay on the mountain to ride out the storm. Which is #5 in the list of “moments in this movie where I would 100% die” I grew up in a warm climate, this is not a comfortable hypothetical situation for me.

Anyway, our intrepid team of criminals takes Yondu to find the next suitcase, while Jessie and Gabe separately make their way to the cabin that Yondu was talking about. They catch each other up, and they can’t contact the main office because...Jessie’s radio died in the cold? You...you work amongst mountains as a rescue officer for stranded hikers. That’s the best excuse the writers came up with? Why the hell didn’t she bring a better radio? They HAD to have spares, right? RIGHT? Geez, no wonder you needed Gabe’s help.

The tracker, with its marvelously outdated computer graphics technology (IT’S A UNIX SYSTEM IKNOWTHIS), leads the thugs to the next package, but not before Gabe and Jesse get there! Gabe leaves a ransom note for the money, holding it hostage. This eventually leads to a nighttime chase in the snow, leading to Expendable Thug #5 going The Way of Sarah.

By the way, it’s also at this point that I notice that it is VERY bright...for being in the middle of the mountains at night. And I get it, you can’t exactly have your movie be shot in darkness, but...look at this.

Like...wow. That’s the fakest outdoor shot I’ve ever seen. I guess I’m glad it isn’t a day-for-night shot, but...yeah. Wow.

Jesse and Gabe find themselves in a cave full of the cutest goddamn bats I’ve ever seen. This is supposed to be a harrowing experience, but simply makes me jealous. They’re fruit bats, by the way, and they’re also WAY too high up, altitude-wise. At least, that’s what I assume. I’m a bird-guy, not a bat-guy. Eventually, they make it out of the cave after Stallone does some free-climbing...loudly. Loud enough for the super-violent, sociopathic, knife-and-gun-loving Expendable Thug #6 to hear them. And that’s when Gabe ICE-PICKS HIM IN THE LEG DAMN

Understandably pissed, and not as understandably still walking around without crying (#6 in that list of me-dying moments), the thug finds and beats the SHIT out of Gabe, handily.  But then, he calls Jessie a bitch, and Gabe is, above all things a feminist. Which leads to him, and read this CLOSELY:

This leads to Stallone, bloodied and beaten, PICKING THE THUG UP OVER HIS HEAD, AND IMPALING HIM ONTO A STALACTITE. Not a stalagmite, a STALACTITE. HOLY SHIT!.

Well, Expendable Thug #6 is dead, there’s a bomb on the mountaintop, Jesse almost goes The Way of Sarah, and Frank (another guy who works with them, don’t know if I mentioned him) gets lured into a trap where he gets killed. An “Aww” moment from me; I liked Frank, he seemed like a really nice guy. This eventually leads to Farquaad and Tripp out-crazy-ing each other, and Farquaad winning by killing Expendable Thug #7, who does not go The Way of Sarah (blessed be her fall).

Gabe finds the remaining money, while Tripp, Yondu, and Expendable Thug #7 get there just after. Tripp leaves, and Yondu then delivers my favorite line of the movie:

Oh, sorry, no, it’s, “In a minute, I’ll be dead. You will always be an asshole.” Thug #7 beats the shit out of Yondu, I get flashbacks to GotG 2, and Thug #8 goes THE WAY OF SARAH, BLESSED BE HER FALL. Tripp finds the tracker without the money, and officially loses it, outing himself and Farquaad to the government officials who FINALLY get here.

Tripp finds Gabe, they make their way to a frozen mountain lake, and Gabe SHOOTS TRIPP FROM UNDERNEATH THE ICE. That shouldn’t have worked for many reasons, but that was cool, so fuck it. Now, it’s just Farquaad, BUT HE HAS JESSIE! OH NOOOOOOOooooooo.

This whole thing culminates in a tense, cool chase sequence between Gabe and Farquad in the helicopter. The helicopter crashes into the mountainside, and the two fight while on the helicopter, which is now hanging from the cliff.

Oh. Oh, I get it.

This inevitably leads to Farquaad and the helicopter going, of course, The Way of Sarah. Blessed Be Her Fall. #BBHF. 

And that’s it. Our three heroes are, themselves, rescued by the government agents, and we pan away from the cliffside, as the credits roll. Boom. Cliffhanger.

Stay tuned for the epilogue, which contains the review!

[jacksons-goddess-gaia]

.,~Let’s play a game! Pick 7 mutuals and ship them with the members of Wayv and why! Then ask them to do the same!~,.

Uhhhh okay!

@kimnamshiks Excuse me Im sorry but I need to see you make WinWin cry. Thank you! But yes cute UwU secretly savage couple. The sweet babies who would be so shy at first, then just absolute sunshine and rainbows. Theyd be there for each other and so supportive and loveling.

@atiny-piratequeen Ahem ahem! Hmmmm I would say both Lucas and Xiaojun. Lucas because he is such a cocky puppy and you’re an amazing trainer. Two because hed cherish the shit out of you and thats deserved. Three because y’all both big switches. And four because the cute couple dates you guys would go on would be so sweet Id get cavities. Xiaojun because quieter chaotic (in relatively to other members) who would worship the ground you walk on and just tease the shit out of you util you snap and snap his spine.

@queen-of-himbos Do I really need to say? Honestly I ship with Kun, I wanted to say Hendery but I think after a week you’ll want to murder him. But Kun just destressing with you, the cute Pokémon conversations. Couple cook days, and bet hed be so careful about your dietary needs and still make master pieces. Biggest supportive hubby, also trying to learn to crochet with you and even though he fails he enjoys it. That fitness couple, but with lots of cute behind scene bloopers. Totally devoted to you no matter what.

@gettin-a-lil-hanse Hmmmm...hmmmmmmm...HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...hehe~ For fun I would say Hendery, you two would be so chaotic and while you might kill him. Hed dote on you so much and think (rightfully so) you’re the cutest little bean there ever was to be seen. Also the sassiest couple to be found. Willing to clean up for you if you cook because lets be honest he will set your place on fire because he zoned out staring at you.

@atiny-dazzlinglight Pspspsps *pokes your cheek* Lucas cuz full******. Plus size difference oof. But yeah hed be your puppy and a total shit that would throw you over his shoulder and pretend you disappeared, his hand on your ass the whole time. Your death threats would be cute to him and hed love to purposefully get you riled up then help you work it off in bed. Also king of spoiling you. Though you both may starve if you dont order take out.

@deepnesta Ten. I want to see him dance with you, and just flirt on you. The shiest at first then suddenly delon that won’t let you run or anyone near. Absolutely spoils you, its like you e adopted a house cat. Hes always around asking for pets and snuggles, and does everything he can to make sure you’re not stressed. Loves to hold you and sing softly to help you fall asleep. Just the softest boyfriend.

@wonderland-obsession mwhahahahahahaha ahem ahem I ships with both YangYang and Lucas together. Because theyd treat you right, but also push all the right buttons. Always hug and love on you, skinship for years. Also gaming couple? Yes! Plus the biggest teases for the biggest tease! But honestly theyre very sweet and loving and its like having to human puppies who love you with everything they have.