#He's such a sweet boii I am PROUD of him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

j0shaw0tt · 6 years ago

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4,7,10,14,16,27,41 for honey boii

THANKS FOR INDULGING ME, MY FRENNNNN~

For those who don’t know, Honey Eyes is my proud, gay, twink of a cat boy OC I made in a DnD session! He has recently been included in the story of my main OC, Catastrophe, a character you may have seen me talk about here! A purveyor of beauty, he is a narcissistic yet charismatic runaway prince who is famous for his sewing abilities, performances and charms. Don’t be fooled by his slim and delicate appearance, his dancing is not just for show as it’s his fighting style as well, channeled through spiritual energy to give it a lot more oomph than you could ever imagine. He cares mostly only for himself, but will quite literally ‘smack a bitch’ if they dare touch him or his beautiful friends.THIS WILL BE A LONG POST, SO YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!!

4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear?

To understand his clothing choices is to understand his world, which I will go over later on in this ask, but I’ll be brief here! He is a runaway prince of a country on the Eastern side of their continent, inspired by real life Asian countries, mostly full of animal races and animal/human hybrids, as himself. That being said, his was required to wear and did enjoy traditional robes like “kimonos/yukatas” and “gat-chogori”. He liked the sophisticated look and warmness of these robes, but had stopped wearing them after he left his family, only to come back in the future after feeling nostalgic about his culture, eventually making his own brand of these clothes to wear and promote his culture in unknown lands. Though geared for women, he enjoys kimonos more as they were lighter to wear and more elegant in looks, inspiring his designs to have several colorful and pretty designs to fit his liking~

His main story line will have him meet Cat in the Western side of the continent, whereas this fantasy world itself takes place around the late 1800s to mid 1900s, thus taking inspirations of fashion during this time throughout the whole continent. That being said, Honey thoroughly enjoyed the Western looks and completely integrated himself into it’s culture. He adopted a constant dapper and fancy look, his most casual outfit involving an array of dress shirts, completing the look and also probably popularizing it wherever he went with suspenders. (His choice color would be a deep purple shirt, emphasizing a royal look and bringing out his “honey eyes”, heheh!) Despite that, he will wear bow ties, ties, switch out for waist coats and rings, really making him look like a rich person, kinda like his old life as a prince!

That’s not all! Honey wouldn’t be complete without make up~ He is almost always seen with eyeliner on (probably the cat’s eye look, since he’s a cat after all and it would further bring out those golden eyes of his! Thanks for that inspiration, friend~~), and his not afraid to wear lipstick and lip gloss on more fun occasions! (Although, lip gloss makes more sense in more modern AUs) His favorite lip gloss is of both the glossy AND glittery personality! With his hair down, he for sure could pass off as a lady~ Most of the time, his long hair is tied up in either a traditional bun or as one long ponytail, both held up by “kanzashi”, in which his collection ranges from simple looking sticks to more ornamental looking combs (which if he’s real riled up, can be used as a weapon!) The final touches come in the form of nail polish and flowers I likes to wear with his outfits, usually only one or two. Both of these will color coordinate with his current outfits, to complete his over the top and yet, cute as fuck looks.

Now then, his most expressive outfits would be in modern AUs. He would wear skinny jeans, booty shorts/hot pants, leggings/stockings/thigh highs, long gothic lookin’ boots, and he loves tacky, loud and colorful floral shirts. I don’t know what to call this fashion style but uhhh, it’s like wearing a long sleeve, but you one sleeve slide a bit to show off a shoulder and show a tank top strap or something?? Whatever you call that, he likes to rock it, and you fucking know that he’s all about wearing SHADES, BECAUSE HE’S THE BOSS WHEREVER HE GOES. Overall, Honey’s fashion sense is inspired by my own preferences, in terms of the more dapper, western look, and the fashions of Asia traditions and streetwear, ultimately culminating his personality and fashion in the West when he performs to be that of male Kpop idols~

7. What element would your OC be?

If you mean in the classical Earth, Air, Fire and Water, I would say he is a mix of Air and Water, but leans more towards the latter. I’m seeing this from the astrological perspective on the elements, whereas when he was younger, he was more of an Air element with wanting to be more free and independent from his royal life, and ultimately became more of Water element into his adulthood as his newfound confidence kept him constantly moving, slowly building a name for himself at in the East. He was never too troubled once he became sort of a jack-of-all-trades in his endeavors with beauty (His skills will be listed further down), always just going with the flow with each new fun adventure. When he met Cat, he dropped any plans he had and decided to just join her troupe as he found her to be beautiful and saw much potential in her. Seemingly carefree, he had a plan for all his actions and felt like a mystery to Cat, but knew he was somewhat of a living legend with over the top adventures in the realm of beauty throughout the land leading to that point. More on the Water side, I’ve designated him as Pisces, as his actions and behaviors seem to fit that zodiac the most, from a textbook or basic explanation of a Pisces at least, as opposed to my real life experiences with them, because no one is as over the top as him. (Although I’m dating the best Pisces I know~~). Easily the most artistic and emotional member of their group, it’s like he lives in his own fantasy and somehow is able to bring that to life with his demeanor wherever he goes~

10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC?

PRIDE ALL THE WAY, BABY~~~

While Cat is the main character of this story and she shows her own variations of Pride (as well as Lust and Wrath, of course), she wouldn’t be so prideful without her teacher, the ever proud Honey Eyes. Upon meeting her, he is a pompous, narcissistic and self righteous PRICK. When I first conceptualized him, I wrote “THAT BITCH” in his personality traits!! He was inspired by this meme image:

Despite his negative connotations, meeting Cat definitely softened him up and he’s developed a favoritism towards her when compared to the rest of their troupe. He may be an ass at times, but he’s still probably the hardest worker next to Cat, seeing as it worked his off to be as confident as he is now, using his experiences to inspire Cat to be the best she could be. A perfectionist, he is proud of all his work and all that he is about, and is not afraid to tell it to anyone he meets. Hell, his introduction to Cat was him performing a song solely to show her hows it down and promote his own narcissism. All while towards the end of his song, his posse (YES HE HAS A GOD DAMN POSSE) of buff bois acted as a throne and carried him as a sang, giving one hell of a performance. One hell of a way to introduce yourself, am I right?

Song Inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYd7Ykb3-aw

14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods?

First and foremost, if there is anything shred of his old, innocent and kinder personality in him from when he was a kid, it’s his sweet tooth that brings him back to simpler times. One thing he missed from his old life as a royal was his access to desserts, by far his favorite thing to eat! It’s the easiest way to his heart and to get him to do something for you… However, if you feed him something unsatisfactory, take desserts he had his eyes on, or in any way taint his desserts, let’s just say you’ll be in a world of pain. Regardless, one of his many of skills comes in the form of baking, where bakes in a way that cuts down on calories and fat in order for him to enjoy his favorite desserts and keep his slim body~ He likes all sorts of things, from just about most fruits to cakes that look like they belong in a museum, because you know he’ll make art out of his food if he could. He usually only bakes to celebrate certain events and smaller treats for his friends after a good day of work. His go to treats for his friends come from his homeland, “higashi” and “dangos”! While the former is not his usual favorite kind of sweetness, they are small, cute and easy to decorate and share around for a simplistic taste that reminds him of home. The latter he saves to share with his closest friends, Cat of course, and Celine (another OC I’ve got much to work on), and will also share these with the elderly and children if they are around. Dangos were a favorite treat of his back home, and they remind him of festivals he went to with his father, during times he would show him the land he would rule one day…

On the opposite side of things, Honey hates two things: Meat and SPICES. Meat because he hates how hard it is to chew and the fat that comes with a lot of meats, his fragile teeth weren’t made to dig into these rough foods! His pale and pasty ass can’t handle spices of any kind, and actively keeps himself away from it. Even mildly spicy things will burn his delicate tongue, quoting “Food was meant to meant to be enjoyed, not turn your into the 5th circle of Hell!!!” The mere heat a spice may give off is enough for him to stray away. In the end, typical cat behavior will have him prefer fish over meat, and he will stick with normal vegetables over any spice.

“I guess you can call me a pesCATarian!~”

16. What does your OC smell like?

He’s gonna smell better than most girls, that’s for sure. Along with his make up, he makes sure to smell as pretty as he aims to look, so most of smells will be flowery and/or fruity. This is mostly inspired by again, my own preferences, this time with my choice lotion, Victoria’s Secret™ brand “Love Potion”. It’s supposedly a mix of peaches and sakura blossoms, and I’ve dubbed it as the “shoujo anime scent” because you can’t more anime that sakura blossoms, and over the years this lotion has never let me down as one of my favorite smells. Honey would agree, as the Japanese cherry blossom would be prevalent in his Asian inspired homeland, plus you know he’d shop with in that kind of store. So you can expect him to smell fresh all the time with a variety of flowery and fruity smells to coordinate once again with his current attire at the time.

27. What kind of childhood did your character have?

Alright, cool cats, this is a the big one so hand on to your seats.

Honey Eyes’ childhood is best described as bittersweet. He was born the first human/animal hybrid of a royal family in the East, and while people of that kind were more accepted and prevalent in this part of the continent, it was still looked down upon to be of such a hybrid. This is due to racism between animal races and humans, with varying degrees of conflict throughout the land. While not in control of the entire land of the East, his clan was up there with the highest. Unlike Cat, who’s cat features of that of normal black cats, the animal races are more dominantly populated on the Eastern side, having a more exotic appearance. His father was a proud jaguar, but was a kind ruler, wanting nothing but to end this social war between humans and animals.

However, he was put into an arranged marriage in order to promote this joining of animals and humans. Unfortunately for him, his wife was a far more malevolent and harsh person, having a personal hatred for animal kind due to being taught said racism and a grudge regarding what their kind did to her own royal family (I’ve got much more to work on with this subplot in order to fully develop a believable reason why she would hate animal kind so.)

With that in mind, let it be known that Honey’s father was a much kinder, understanding parental figure for Honey. He held him in high regard as the one to unite these races with his hybrid status, but was never too hard on him and encouraged he find whatever way he feels will be right to lead this country in the future. It is during this time that Honey began his enthrallment with the world and the concept of beauty. Being royalty, he was exposed to the finer arts throughout his home for one thing, and had an enjoyment for classical music to the point where he took up the piano, half because of it’s beautiful sounds, the other, to try and appease his mother… With little to no success.

Thus describing his relationship with his mother, whereas he hoped receive some sort of love out of her one day, although she was only a tool for her agenda. Discouraging all of his loves and hobbies, she had no patience for his childish notions, wanting nothing but to mold him into a symbol of power. Being the first royal hybrid, she would show the world that this couldn’t have happened with her intervention into this species. She wanted him to show the world that it belongs to the humans, and they will take away everything, even their species. She believed it was her divine right to have power over these animals, that fate would have her lead the humans back to the top, where they belonged.T his treatment was psychologically abusing to the young Honey Eyes, and thus further supported his complete attachment and love for his father, to the point where he felt extremely more comfortable around men than women, subconsciously being the reason he takes more romantic interests in men towards in his pre-teen years. In his country, there were many men both slim and pretty, and also the rough and tough, rugged types, both he found “beauty” in do to these diverse and appealing looks. They were confusing feelings for someone that young, but they were quickly pushed aside when his mother found out, becoming the most furious she has been with him for these “immoral” emotions, seeing as if he couldn’t be the heir she wanted him to be, the least he could do is produce someone more worthy.

It was at this point where his father had (pretended) to take her side on this, and suggested a secret monastery towards the center of continent that had helped the their royal family in the background for eons. He explained that they would help “purge” these negative emotions out of him with their holy techniques. She was skeptical at first, but being the type to believe in divine judgement was easily swayed that if they had helped their family for so long, they would not fail in “fixing” her tool. Honey was completely scared and opposed to all of this, wondering why his beloved father would be taking her side so easily. Thankfully, out of her sight, he assured Honey everything will be alright, and whatever happens there, they will do what he believed he couldn’t do with her mother by her, and make him a great man.

Though reluctant, the young and meek cat boy trusted his father more than anyone, and had arrived at the monastery, greeted by monks not just of his cat kind, but of various animal races that existed in the world as well, including humans! He was greeted warmly, knowing exactly why he was sent here by his father’s orders. These monks don’t do any kind of “purging”, not in the way he understood at least. No, they were here to teach the meanings of equality and balance, both in the world and in a singular person, the real reason he was here. (This monastery and their teachings are heavily inspired by the of Yin and Yang, the air monks from Avatar in the comicverse, and the more in-depth portrayals of Zenyatta from Overwatch.) With everything in order, they would began to both physically, mentally and spiritually train the cat boy for a good portion of his life.

During the years under their watch, they did not shy away from his genuine loves for what he sees as “beauty”, nor even his feelings towards men. They were a open community that supported every concept of the truest forms love, which can be seen as romantic, platonic, and love of oneself. Being very supportive of Honey and the things his mother belittled him about, he was taught that his greatest strength would be that passion he has inside that he could not freely express with her around. As a royal family member, they entrusted him with a sacred, forgotten power that had been protected by this secret society, not even taught to much of the previous members down the line of the royal family before Honey. Being barely a teen when first arriving, it was a perfect time to judge if he was truly using the technique they would pass: Aura Surge.

It is essentially an enhancement ability that relies both on the users emotional state and life energy. Combining the user’s martial capabilities, ingenuity and overall skill, it is a power that manipulates one’s soul in order to put extreme powers behind physical attacks, and with enough mastery, can fire their energy at opponents (all inspired by DnD monk abilities and a very toned down of basic energy moves from Dragon Ball because i’m a god damn nerd) as well as minor healing abilities. It was not taught to previous members down his line due to fear of abuse during their rise to power, but due to Honey’s upbringing and unique personality, AND the current state of his royal family, they felt teaching him would be a double-edged sword: they knew if Honey was let free and not “fixed” in the way his mother wanted, she would eventually find out and hunt them down. At the same time, they had seen the potential in Honey and knew that after their teachings, they would put all of their trust into whatever Honey plans to do with his life.

This trust is not unfound though, as Honey does shine here. Through teachings, he becomes more understanding of both his parent’s personalities a little better, taking it into consideration as he spent the years her growing as person himself. The lesson of balance was the most important, as the monks taught him that as unfortunate as it is, good cannot exist without bad, and that goes for the individual. As naive and innocent as he was going in, he was not exempt from getting consumed by his emotions, especially having A LOT of bottled up anger and a grudge against his mother. Nevertheless, he knew to harness this power they were teaching him and to become a better person, he need to equalize all these emotions he had. In the future, he may be cocky, narcissistic and prideful of all that he does, but he will always remember the things he learned from the monastery. His time there was some of the best years of his life, but they all knew he had to venture out in the world and tackle it whatever way he saw fit…

So around his mid to late teens, he made it a goal to not immediately return to his family. He wanted to explore the world and his land in order to get a better understanding of it’s people, that way he can formulate how he can rule his country to the best of abilities with the interests of everyone. He had left the monastery with nothing but gratitude for them, unbeknownst that one day his mother would one day tear down the place for their insolence and being part of turning her tool to an unstoppable force of confidence. (How he handles the information when he finds out about what happens to them has yet to be written, but if you understand Honey now, you’ll know his immediate response.)

Honey Eyes was finally own his own, and with is overflowing charisma and charm he gained, he lived his life to the fullest. It was during these years after leaving to when he meets Cat that he would build his repertoire of skills in what he say as “beauty”. He became an exceptional dressmaker and tailor, fitting his attraction to both male and female gendered clothing, promoting the idea of no matter the gender, you should be able to wear what you want, an idea he would actively promote in how he would dress the way he wants. While not as great as his sewing abilities he trained for, as mentioned above he also became a great baker in his own regard, specializing in Eastern treats from his homeland, but moving on to common delicacies from other parts of the world, though his baking was exclusive for events and his friends. On the same level, he an aspiring artist, loving the inspirations from each land he crosses, sketching whatever catches his interest at the time. While not as refined or regal as expensive works seen around his royal household, his taste particularly bound by conceptual and fine arts.

His main skill is his performing arts, however! Though he very slowly became known to the world for his jack of all trades profession, all could agree that seeing him perform musically was his best works. He is a performer at heart and has a keen sense of choreography and his love for beauty gives him the widest range of artistic inspiration for his works. Again, he is a master at the piano, often leaning towards the classical side of things, but changing up to match the upbeat tempos that Cat’s music needed, giving him experiences in the swing vibe. As a singer, his voice matches the exudes as much confidence and power that his personality does every day of his adulthood. He knows how good he is and proves to outshine even Cat in her even her early days as a singer-in-disguise, prompting him to become her teacher in both performing and confidence.

In the end, Honey Eyes grew up with a bittersweet childhood, but was molded into a man of pure charm and confidence. Actively following his dreams and going wherever seems the most fun, he truly isn’t the same, naive boy he was in his old life. He has fully embraced and appreciated love for beauty and men, and uses it to promote his bad boy self wherever he goes. Aside from Cat, no one really tells him what to do and he marches to the beat of his own drum. One day, he may return as king of an Eastern land, but right now, he is Honey Eyes, the hardest working cat man in the business with an unmatched love for beauty.

41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

You do NOT want to get him angry. If you push him far enough, he will hold grudges, and if left unchecked… Let’s just say the cat WILL get your tongue, among other things. Being the fancy pants he is, he still can act like a brat when things start falling out of his control, often yelling at everyone to get their shit together and yelling at whoever or whatever is riling him up. This would be the case prior to meeting Cat and friends, but since then he’s learned to control his anger through his various skills. One way could be that will furiously bake something extravagant to get his mind off of the problem, this way he could feel proud and give his friend’s a treat. Another way he gets rid of this negative energy is through his accordion. While his piano playing has a naturally calming effect to it, his accordion has a more romantic and fantasy feeling to it, and thus will play alone on nights, either playing something soothing or tunes he can combine his skill with poetry with, that way he could be more vocal with words. When it boils down, he can simply confide with Cat, his must trusted friend and sister figure. Being the most emotional in the group, he is still victim to hiding his true emotions in order to put up a strong face, especially in times where things are hard for Cat herself. Whether they find a solution or not, talking with each other has been the best way for either of them to stand back up on two feet, truly a testament of their now unbreakable bond. (For now, at least…)

#asks #honey eyes #catastrophe #long post #ayelet

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kokichi-and-co-imagine-blog · 7 years ago

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How about that robot boii? How do you think he'd be in a romantic situation or when he's being flirted with?

ooh, Keebo is such a sweetheart! I hope I can do him the justice he deserves, but at least we can all agree that he’s trying his best! So am I tbh

Flirting Shenanigans

-Oh boy, he wouldn’t know where to start

-He doesn’t really understand what’s going on at first?

-It wouldn’t be until he’s searching his hard drive for similar dialogue in hopes of understanding what’s going on that he realizes

-’This is what flirting is???’

-A few days would pass before he tries a line he got from Miu, feeling super proud of himself when he manages to say it correctly

-He probably doesn’t realize however, that a dirty pick up line isn’t the same as lighthearted flirting.

-Cue Kokichi in the background trying really hard not to laugh

Relationship

- as for being in a relationship, Kiiboy would definitely be nervous but sweet all the time! He’s probably a little worried that he can’t be what a normal partner in a relationship is for his s/o, but he’s more than happy to try his best.

-Movies, Stand-up Comedy, and plays would be his favorite date destinations, since he wants to learn as much about what emotions are brought in certain situations, all while s/o is there with him.

-Honestly, any slight mention of something dirty would probably make him o v e r h e a t

-He would also probably enjoy the idea of going to quiet places at night, like a park or something. That way, he can avoid any possible robophobia from other people. He really would hope that s/o doesn’t mind though!

#Keebo #K1-B0 #Danganronpa V3 #v3 #imagine #mod kokichi #fluff #flirting #relationship

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ask-svt-hearteu · 7 years ago

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Joshua’s takeover of ask-svt-hearteu

I love Josh with all my heart and soul. Please spend the day sleeping and eating a lot

Joshua: Hi everyone! It’s Seventeen’s Joshua and I’m so glad to be able to answer any questions you might have for me today on my birthday! I’m always thankful for all the love and support our carats give me and the rest of Seventeen, so let’s be happy together, shall we? Love you guys <3

Mini Masterlist of all Joshua Day asks:

YOU, JOSHUA HONG, I LOVE YOU. YOURE AN AMAZING HUMAN BEING AND I AM BLESSED TO EXIST IN THE SAME CENTURY AS YOU DO. KEEP BEING THE AMAZING BRILLIANT GEM YOU ARE.

Happy birthday to my #1 bias Joshua!!! Don't tell the other js ;) ♥️🍷🍰👀

joshua~~ happy birthday, dearie~ here’s to another year of good work and results!! make sure to take care of yourself, okay?? 💙💙 -dream anon

To: Seventeen I love you guys so much but you gotta sTOP LEAVING JOSHUA OUT YA KNOW. HE DOESN'T DESERVE THE DISRESPECT >:( I still love all of you okey just ignore my comment :)) also happy birthday Joshua! 🎉❤️

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GREAT, WONDERFUL JOSHUA HONG. I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY WITH ALL THE MEMBERS *cough* and with your wife Jess*cough*

Are you really Joshua from Seventeen answering?

I love Josh with all my heart and soul. Please spend the day sleeping and eating a lot

Hey josh how does it feel to know that you, Jun and Mingyu are very very close to stealing me away from Vernon?

happy birthday joshua, i rlly rlly love ya, this rap wont be long, its just my love for hong, yo yo yo

black hair joshua!!! what a concept. you look stunning and ethereal and it feels like you came out straight from an anime. happy birthday hun, im gonna swerve to your lane (dont tell jihoon and kwannie though) —kwanhoon love bot

joshiii, what do you want to eat? I will treat you food for your birthday and I'll treat you right for the rest of your life ;))

I WANT TO GIVE JOSHUA HONG THE MOST AGGRESSIVE AND PASSIONATE AND SOFTEST CUDDLE EVER. I WANT TO STARE IN TO HIS EYES AND COMPLIMENT THE HECK OUT OF HIM AND LOVE HIM TILL ETERNITY ENDS.

Joshua, the love of my life, my sun moon and stars, dare I say my soulmate. Please marry me, make me the happiest girl in the world. -lily anon

Happy birthday Joshua!! I love you with you soft voice, starry eyes and your amazing free style rap💝 Hope you have an amazing day that you deserve!!!

Joshua! Happy birthdayy, You're my ultimate bias I hope you have an amazing day, you deserve it! I love you so much 💖🎂

last night i had a dream about josh, and to put long stories short, it was essentially about him being an amazing and cuddly and loving hugger and i was very happy the entire time. it is now officially my dream to be hugged by the Joshua Hong -aries anon

im getting my hair dyed today and its gonna look really cool im hyped plus I'm getting rid of the remains from last time I dyed it because it looks gross. (also ooh shit its Joshua's birthday yanno the members better do smth cool or I'm suing pledis)

Prince Joshyyy!!! Happy bithday to youuuu~ **sends virtual hugs and cookies** Ahhh.... For the day... TO ALL THE MEMBERS OF SEVENTEEEN!!!! Dont leave shua at least for the day :') appreciate dis kind boii :''') **sends another package of love nad cookies**

Happy happy birthday handsome!! I love your lovely, sweet voice, soft demeanour, rapping, and of course your dorkiness (and so much more). I'm honestly so proud of you and all of your accomplishments with Seventeen this year!! I hope that you got to spend this day with your loved ones and your day has been nothing short of perfect. And just for today I'm switching lanes just for you, lol. 💖💖💖 (Don't tell Seungcheol).

Choi Seungcheol I am leaving you for Hong Joshua.

Josh has anyone told you that you're boyfriend material because dang you are so boyfriend material....happy birthday love🎉🎉🎉

Joshua did you know that you and taehyung have the same birthday. You are both my ultimate biases.

Say, Joshua? I know this sounds kind of rude. How old are you? I'm just naturally curious. I'm 27 so I know I'm older :( Lena

Happy brithday Joshuaaaaa♥♥! Hopefully the boys let u rest enough....lmao who am I kidding wE ARE GONNA THROW THE BIGGEST PARTY EVER

I hope the members aren't mean to you since it's your birthday. And I hope they wait on you hand and foot like the Prince you are. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and eat lots of cake. I love you. Thank you for being born ❤❤❤

to the beautiful, amazing birthday prince: happy birthday <3 thank u for blessing all of us with ur wonderful existence.

OH MY LORD BBY BOY JOSHUA HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY THAT YOU THROW UP GLITTER ILY SM❤️❤️❤️❤️🧡🧡💛💛💚💚💚💛💛🧡🧡❤️💚💙💜🖤❤️💜💚❤️💙💙🧡🖤💜💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙💜💙💙🧡💛❤️❤️💜🖤🖤💜💜💛💛💛💛💛💚💚💙🧡🧡🧡

Joshua I hope you get everything you wished for your birthday because, if could, I would give you the entire galaxy only for you♥️

Joshua, if you get forgotten by the members this day, just tell me so I can sue them -jkjkjk i love you all- but I hope you have an amazing day Josh!💕💕💕💕

Hey josh has jess done anything for you on your birthday. Also i ship you guys hard.

asdfghjkl josh everyone ships you and jess together YOU MIGHT AS WELL RULE CALIFORNIA TOGETHER but pls date

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imaginebeinghamiltrash · 7 years ago

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If It’s Meant To Be

***PLEASE NOTE: This is a series. You can find all parts linked below.***

Pairing: Daveed x Reader

Summary: It’s been 6 years since you left Daveed to better yourself. Things have been pretty good but it was only a matter of time until your past caught up with you.

Words: 8.1k+ (I AM SO SORRY)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

A/N: THE BIG FINALE! This is my first finished series and I am so proud of it! I really hope yall like this chapter! It took a lot out of me but I am so excited to release this! Shout out to Ale for being the best beta ever!

Tags: @serkewen12 , @nervous-crossbow , @fanficsj , @hamilbroke , @videogamedriver , @dysfunctionalfangirl @butlinislin, @daveeddiggsit , @nadialinett14 , @librarychild , @spidey-boii , @me-hoy-me-trash , @daveedish , @linmanuclmiranda , @autistic-alien , @runnerriley, @hamilsquad-writings , @thegirlonhamilton

Daveed landed at noon, his legs cramped and nerves at an all time high. He grabbed his suitcase and took a taxi to a Marriott near your restaurant.

“Okay, what did I bring to wear?” He mumbled to himself, opening the suitcase and laying out his options on the bed.

“I should’ve paid more attention to what I threw in here.” He shook his head, not too happy with what he had but he could pull something together.

He held up a button down along with some nice jeans then he glanced at his feet and frowned. He couldn’t wear sneakers to see Y/N, he had to look his absolute best. Daveed tossed down the clothes and picked up his phone, heading outside. This was NYC, there were clothing stores everywhere, especially in this touristy area. He let himself wander for a bit, looking at all the stores but not seeing anything that called out to him. Then he saw them, a beautiful pair of dress shoes in a shop window.

“Yo…” Daveed trailed off, a smile spreading on his face.

He entered the store, looking at the different suits that surrounded him as he approached the counter.

“Excuse me? Would you happen to have those shoes in the front in an 11?”

The old man behind the counter turned and nodded, giving a smile as he pointed to the seating area.

“I should! Just sit there and I’ll be back!” He said as he shuffled into a back room.

Daveed pulled out his phone, sending a quick text to Rafa to let him know he landed safely. When he slid his phone back into his pocket, the man was back with a box under his arm.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.” Daveed smiled, taking the box and opening it up.

He ran his fingers over the smooth material, these shoes were something special.

“Those shoes are really expensive, they must be for an important occasion.” The man smiled, watching Daveed try them on.

Daveed looked up at the old man, for some reason he gave off a comforting vibe. One that made you feel like you could trust him.

“I’m trying to win back the woman I love.” Daveed admitted, looking away as he realized what he just said.

He always tried to avoid thinking about it but truth be told, even after six years he was still in love with you. Seeing your updated photos on Google was enough to dig up those buried feelings from years ago. The older man whistled, sitting down next to Daveed.

“That is an important occasion. A hard one as well.”

“You’re telling me.” Daveed muttered under his breath, looking in the mirror at the shoes.

“But one that’s worth it if you’re here. I think I have the perfect thing for you.” The man slowly stood up and made his way to the back again.

Daveed waited patiently, checking the time and realizing he had a lot of time to kill before going to dinner. The man emerged from the back with a suit that took Daveed’s breath away. It looked like somebody took three different colored suits and patched them together to make one dope suit. Some parts were black, some were dark gray and some were light gray. It was unique, it was original, it was definitely his taste.

“You like it?”

“I love it. Where did you get this from?” Daveed slowly took the suit away from him, looking at it up close.

“I made it myself.” The man said, pride evident in his voice.

“I couldn’t take this from you.” Daveed held the suit out back to him but the man stepped back, shaking his head no.

“I made it to sell, was just waiting for the right person.” The man turned around, walking back to the front as another person walked in. Daveed looked at the suit once more, admiring the flawless stitching and beautiful pattern. He walked to the fitting room, secretly hoping it would fit. He shut the door behind him, quickly disrobing and slipping into the suit. Daveed isn’t superficial but he looked damn good in this suit and he knew it. He was sold, it was the perfect outfit. He changed back into his street clothes and walked to the register.

“Everything fit?”

“Like a glove.” Daveed handed over the shoes and suit then his credit card.

“I could give you a discount, this stuff isn’t cheap and you seem like a good guy.” The old man held the card in his hand, waiting for an answer.

“No, it’s fine.” Daveed smiled reassuringly, not even glancing at the total that popped up on the register.

He signed the receipt and took his credit card back.

“I never got your name.” Daveed said as he took the bag off the counter.

“My name’s Russell.”

“I’m Daveed, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh, I know.” Russell chuckled, leaning on the counter.

Daveed furrowed his brows, he knew he wasn’t a nobody but he didn’t perceive himself as someone recognizable.

“I see you on my TV all the time these days. It makes me proud to see a brother excel, gives an old man like me hope. I was around when schools were still segregated and now we have brothers and sisters all over TV. It’s not perfect but it’s something. You’re part of a movement.”

Daveed was speechless, no one had ever said anything like this to him before. He kept opening and closing his mouth, searching for a reply.

“Just keep the movement going, my son looks up to you. You have the same hair.” Russell glanced at Daveed’s wild curls.

“Thank you for telling me that. It makes me feel...I can’t even describe it but, you made my day.” Daveed grinned, opening up his wallet and putting two hundred dollar bills on the counter.

“What else do you want?” Russell asked, looking at the watch display under him.

“Nothing at all.” Daveed said, stuffing the money into the tip jar next to him.

“Have a good one, Russell. It was a pleasure meeting you.” Daveed picked up a business card as he walked to the door, “I’ll see you later!”

“Good luck with your lady! She’d be a fool to not get back with you.” Russell called out after him.

“Let’s hope she feels the same.” Daveed sighed, exiting the shop and going down the block.

Daveed glanced back, contemplating going back to the shop and talking with Russell for a while. However, his stomach rumbled and he decided against it. Pizza sounded good right about now but, he had to eat lightly. He had a dinner later.

It took Daveed two minutes of hyping himself up to get the courage to enter the restaurant. He was instantly surrounded by a warm ambiance and dim lighting. He took everything in slowly, bumping into a couple since his eyes were on the ceiling.

“I am so sorry.” He backed away, clearly embarrassed.

The woman ensured him that it was alright while her partner glared at him. Daveed turned away, clearing his throat as he walked to the hostess. She looked up and her eyes widened.

“Hello.” Daveed smiled politely, hoping his nervousness wasn’t too obvious in his appearance.

The girl snapped back from her initial shock and proceeded with the usual greeting.

“Hello! Welcome! How many will I be seating?”

“Just me. How long is the wait?”

Daveed glanced around the waiting area, it was pretty packed but he would wait as long as it took.

“No wait at all for you Mr. Diggs, please follow Irene, she’ll take you to your seat.” The hostess gestured to the girl next to her.

They exchanged a few whispers before Irene nodded and turned to Daveed with a smile.

“This way, Mr. Diggs.”

Daveed heard some annoyed huffs behind him and part of him felt bad but, he can’t help that his social status got him special treatment sometimes. He looked around as Irene lead him through the dining room, many couples and families were dressed up and chatting amongst themselves. Daveed felt weird being alone but coming here with someone was not an option.

“Would you like any wine or champagne?” Irene asked as she set the menu down on the table.

“Yes, red wine please.”

“Dry or Sweet?”

“Medium. Thank you.” Daveed sat down, looking at the menu below him as Irene nodded and walked away.

The cover was a deep red, with gold lettering. He opened it and slowly flipped through the pages.

“Jesus.” He muttered under his breath, his eyes jumping from Appetizers to Steaks to Seafood to Pasta.

There were so many options. He jumped slightly as the sound of a cork popping, he glanced up to see Irene pouring wine in his glass. She offered a kind smile as she placed the bottle into the ice bucket she brought to the table.

“Would you like a few more minutes to look over the menu?”

“Yes please, thank you.” Daveed picked up the glass, sipping from it.

“Raise your hand when you’re ready and I’ll come over.” Irene said before turning and walking off. Daveed picked up the bottle slowly and read the label.

“Merlot.” His eyebrows raised, “Fancy.” He set it back in the ice bucket.

He shouldn’t have expected any less from you, you were always a ‘go big or go home’ type of girl. He still couldn’t believe he was here. In a restaurant that you owned, about to eat food you were cooking, seeing you for the first time in years. His mouth went dry at that last thought but he sipped his wine, hoping to swallow some of his nerves with each mouthful. He brought his focus back to the menu, looking over each selection closely before closing it and slowly lifting his hand. Irene was by his side in less than 2 seconds.

“What would you like?”

“I”ll take the New York Strip. Medium-rare.” Daveed said as he handed over the menu

“Your two sides? We have mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, french fries, broccoli-”

“Baked potato and broccoli is good.” Daveed cut her off with a small smile. “Will that be all?” Irene asked as wrote down on her pad.

“Yes.”

“I’ll be back with your order soon.” She smiled at him once more before walking off to the kitchen.

Daveed sat back in his chair, pulling out his phone to occupy him while he waited. Irene walked into the kitchen, a huge smile on her face.

“We have a star order!”

You looked up from your cutting board as soon as those words left her mouth.

“I wonder who it is this time! Remember when Viola Davis came here and we just about died?” Erica, your sous chef, giggled as she took the ticket.

“You won’t believe it. It’s Daveed Diggs!” Irene bounced on her toes excitedly, “And girl. He looks so damn good.”

Your hands instantly stilled, knife frozen in the air. You slowly set it down, stepping back and walking over to Irene.

“I’m sorry, who is here?” You asked.

You must have misheard her.

“Daveed Diggs! The actor, rapper, hunk of a man that is built like a demigod.” Irene fanned herself with the menu in her hand.

“Calm down, I can see your rock hard nipples from here.” Erica teased, laughing as Irene rolled her eyes.

No one knew about your history with Daveed, they were all oblivious to the fact that he was your ex.

“Boss, you alright? You look like you’re about to pass out. Don’t tell me you got the hots for Mr. Diggs too.” Erica chuckled, turning back to the stove and sautéing her vegetables.

“I’m fine. Let’s just get back to work.” You shook your head, reading the ticket and going to grab the steak.

Thankfully you had cooked enough to do it on autopilot because your head was racing with thoughts. How did he found you? What was he doing here? Why would he come here? Did you want him here? You ignored that last thought as you grabbed a plate and began putting Daveed’s food on it. This was going to Daveed. You found yourself taking extra care to cook his steak perfectly and to put the butter for the baked potato on the side, Daveed liked to put it on himself. You paused your movements for a second, why do you still know that? Once again disregarding the thought, you put the plate onto the serving station.

“Star order up!” You yelled, moving on to the next ticket.

Irene took the plate and left the kitchen. Though you physically moved on to cooking other orders, your stomach was in knots thinking about Daveed’s order. Would he like it? Why should you care if he did or not?

“I’m taking a short break. Erica, take over.” You sighed, walking through the kitchen and out the back door for some fresh air.

You took a deep breath, leaning on the wall and sighing. Of course you thought you and Daveed could maybe bump into each other again but this was so sudden.

“Get it together, Y/N. You’re stronger than this!” You groaned, straightening your posture and returning to work as if nothing happened.

“Here you go Mr. Diggs.” Irene said as she set down the plate, “Enjoy!”

“Thank you.” Daveed said, tucking his phone away and picking up the knife.

He immediately noticed the side of butter and smiled to himself.

“She remembers…” He mumbled, picking up the small container and scraping out some butter.

This little gesture shouldn’t have filled him with more confidence but it did. He spread some steak sauce on the steak and dug in. He hummed in content as the first mouthful hit his taste buds. Sure there were more ingredients and flare in the food but it still tasted like yours. It reminded him of home, of the many meals you and him shared. It was comforting. He got through his food quicker than he meant to but he was still satisfied. He refilled his wine glass and sipped slowly. He didn’t wanna be smashed when he saw you.

“Would you like to see the dessert menu?” Irene asked, picking up the empty plate.

“No thank you, would you please give my compliments to the chef?”

“Of course! I’ll be back with your bill.”

Irene walked off and back into the kitchen, putting the dish in the sink.

“Mr. Diggs said to give compliments to the chef.” Irene singsonged, returning to the chef station.

“Oh did he now? He likes our food Y/N.” Erica bumped your hip playfully and you gave a small smile hoping to pass off as thankful instead of shocked. A part of you was exhilarated by the compliment, the other part of you felt conflicted. You were having an internal battle of joy and frustration.

“Tell him thank you. Let’s get back to work.”

Irene and Erica shared a look before going back to doing their respective jobs. Irene returned with Daveed’s bill. Daveed already had his card ready so he handed it over.

“Chef Y/N appreciates the compliments, Mr. Diggs.” Irene said before turning and walking away.

Daveed bit the inside of his cheek to dim the smile on his face. She didn’t ignore it at least.

Daveed stayed seated, watching people leave slowly until he was the only person left.

“Mr. Diggs? We’re starting to close up.” Irene approached him, confused as to why he hadn’t left after she returned his card to him.

“Oh, sorry. I wanted to speak personally with the chef, I’m an old friend.” He stood up, adjusting his blazer.

“Oh? Well you could wait on the bench in the front. I would let you wait here but we have to wipe down and put the chairs up.” Irene gestured towards the front.

Daveed nodded and walked off to the front, sitting on the bench. Irene smirked to herself as she clocked out, deciding to not notify her boss of Daveed’s intentions to see her. Daveed awkwardly said goodbye to every employee that passed on the way out, ignoring the questioning glances.

You packed away your chef’s uniform, changing into your street clothes once you were sure the kitchen was clean. You locked the back door and exited the kitchen after you turned off the lights. You put your bag on your back as you walked towards the front, turning off the lights in the dining room. Daveed could hear another pair of footsteps and he hoped it was you. He fidgeted with his fingers, holding his breath as you rounded the corner. You froze, locking eyes with Daveed as he slowly stood. You took in his appearance, feeling like the air got knocked out of you by his beauty. His curls were perfect, his suit framed him perfectly. After all these years, Daveed never disappointed or looked less than perfect. You felt underdressed in your jeans and t-shirt but you couldn’t wear a chef uniform while traveling home. However, Daveed thought you looked beautiful anyway, you were always beautiful whether you wore sweatpants or an elegant gown. You both stared at each other for a while, simply trying to grasp the fact you were in the same room for the first time in six years.

“Hi.” Daveed said softly, his signature shy smile appearing on his face.

You cursed your heart for its sudden change in tempo, it felt like it was trying to beat out of your chest.

“Hi, Daveed.” You replied, looking at the floor.

Hearing you say his name again was music to his ears. Hearing you speak was music to his ears. Even after all these years, you were his favorite thing and seeing you tonight confirmed that.

“I told you you would do amazing. This…” Daveed gestured to the room around you, “is amazing. Truly.”

Heat quickly spread from your neck to your cheeks as he continued.

“I didn’t think your food could taste any better but you blew me away tonight.”

“It’s amazing what some extra herbs can do to your food.”

You smiled as Daveed chuckled. You missed that sound more than you liked to admit.

“Yeah...so…” Daveed trailed off, eyes returning to you.

“So…?” You repeated, daring to move closer to him.

When Daveed didn’t say anything, you decided to take over the conversation.

“How did you find this place?”

“Lin.” Daveed replied, smiling as a smile spread across your face.

“Of course, I should’ve known loudmouth Lin would say something.”

“Are you mad that he did?” Daveed asked, the look in his eyes making the butterflies in your stomach go haywire.

“No. I’m not.” You shook your head, fidgeting with your fingers. That only made Daveed’s smile widen more.

“I...I missed you…” Daveed whispered softly, stepping closer to you.

Your heart skipped a beat as Daveed moved closer, his chest almost touching yours.

“I..missed you too.” You admitted, voice even softer than his.

Daveed’s eyes looked all over your features; your eyes, your nose, especially your lips. He yearned for them ever since you left, they were one of his favorite things about you. He was so zoned in on them that he didn’t realize he was leaning in towards you.

“D-Daveed?”

He blinked rapidly, jumping back as he realized what he was doing.

“Shit! Shit I’m so sorry I...I wasn’t trying to…” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

He was a nervous wreck and you could sense it, you were thankful he felt the same as you did.

“No, it’s fine! You just zoned out. It’s okay!” You reassured him.

Daveed smiled sheepishly, deciding it would be better to keep his distance from here on out.

“Where are you staying?” You asked, starting to head for the door.

“Marriott a few blocks down.” Daveed followed you out, he stood to the side as you locked the doors.

The streets were still alive with people who were rushing to join the nightlife.

“That’s a pretty one, I catered an event there before.”

You started walking down the block, Daveed fell into step with you.

“You must have catered a lot of events. Which was your favorite?” Daveed asked, not taking his eyes off of you.

He almost tripped off the curb but he was trying his best to take in every new little feature about you. The small mark on your cheek that looked like a scar, the new necklace that hung around your neck, the new piercing on your ear.

“Easy. I catered a reunion for my culinary school. I met a lot of top name people there and got invited out to Italy to “expand my knowledge”. I went to Venice, I rode in a Gondola, I had authentic pizza. I learned more about Italian food then you could ever imagine. I almost cried when I had to leave.” You chuckled, looking both ways before crossing the street.

“Sounds amazing, I would love to go to Italy.”

“Enough about me, what have you been up to?”

“Well, clipping. is working on another album. We went on tour in Europe and the energy there is wild. Me and Cash are working on another album and I’m doing a bunch of acting. There’s actually this HBO special coming out that I’m in. It’s a huge satire, and I had so much fun filming it.” Daveed looked up at the sky, scanning for the moon.

“That’s amazing! I’ll look into it.”

“You could attend a screening with me instead.” was what Daveed wanted to say. Instead he said,

“It’s right up your alley.”

He looked back over at you and you already had your eyes on him. It would’ve been smarter to keep your eyes forward but you both couldn’t look away from each other for more than a few moments. You stopped as you reached Daveed’s hotel.

“Do you live around here?” Daveed asked, putting his hands in his pocket.

“Few train stops away, my train is actually around the corner.”

“I could get you a ride home? Trains are a pain in the ass at night, you would know that better than me.” Daveed offered.

You checked the time. Midnight. The trains were gonna be on their weird schedule and though you were in a good mood, the train ride was something you were dreading.

“You sure? You don’t have to. I don’t want you to waste money.”

“It’s being spent on you. That would never be a waste.”

You looked away, blushing lightly with a small smile.

“Alright, you’ve convinced me. Thank you, D.”

“Of course.”

Daveed handed his phone over to you so you could put in your information. In a few minutes you ordered the car, handing the phone back to Daveed as a driver accepted your ride.

“Oh, he’s right around the corner.”

“Most of them sit around here because all the drunk people order cars to get home. They get most their money from drunk college kids and adults.” You pointed out, watching a car come down the street and pull up in front of you.

“Yep, that’s it.” Daveed said after checking the license plate.

You nodded, walking to the car door and opening it.

“Oh,” you turned around to face Daveed, waving at him, “Bye, thanks for the car again.”

“Bye, Y/N. I’ll see you around?” Daveed asked, hoping he wasn’t coming off too eager.

“I’ll see you around.” You agreed, smiling at him.

Daveed smiled back at you, relief flooding through him. You turned around to get in the car when he called out to you.

“Wait!”

You looked back at him, “Yeah?”

“Maybe we should exchange numbers? Just so I know you got home safe and all that, you know.” Daveed suggested, doing his best to hide the hope in his voice.

“Yeah, that would be smart.” You stepped away from the car to give him your phone.

He gave you his and you put in your number and name. Once you were both finished, you switched phones.

“I’ll text you.” You said, looking at the new contact.

“Perfect.”

You both stood there in silence for a second, not knowing how to say goodbye. You wrapped your arms around Daveed, pulling him into a hug. Daveed froze in surprise before he hugged you tightly. You pulled away first, giving him a small smile before you got into the car. Daveed watched the car until it turned the corner. He looked up at the sky.

“Thank you for making this work.” Daveed mumbled before walking inside the hotel.

As he made his way to his room and into the shower, he was thinking about the events of today. This trip wasn’t coordinated what so ever but it ended better than he could ever imagine. He was putting on his pajama pants when his phone vibrated. He tossed his towel on a chair before checking his notifications.

You:

Made it home safely! Thanks again for the ride :)

Daveed smiled to himself, sending his reply as he got into his bed.

Daveed:

Anytime! I got back safely too in case you’re wondering

You laughed at the text, putting down your phone to place your bag on the floor and turn on the lights.

“Smartass as always.” You mumbled to yourself, picking up the phone and writing back.

You:

I mean if you somehow got hurt on the 2 minute walk to your room, I’d have to question your intelligence.

Daveed:

Ouch, that hurts.

You:

Poor baby :((((

Daveed settled into bed, rolling his eyes at your text.

Daveed:

So caring. Thanks.

You:

You know me, always caring for the greater good! How long are you in town for?

Daveed:

I’m actually flying back tomorrow afternoon. I didn’t exactly have high hopes for this reunion and I also have to get back in the studio with Cash. I canceled on him to come out here.

You frowned lightly, part of you wanted to see him again. The other part was thankful he wouldn’t be here anymore. You were conflicted as to what you wanted to happen now that Daveed was here. It would be a lie to say you didn’t feel anything for him but it was too soon to make any calls on your relationship. Take things easy and slow. That’s exactly what you did for the next two and a half months. Daveed flew back home and you two texted on a daily basis. You even reconnected with Rafael. It started with Daveed being lazy and making a group chat to send a meme but then it became an extremely active, waking-up-to-60-text-messages type of group chat. You and Rafa would typically stick to the group chat so when you texted him separately one day, he knew something was up.

You:

Hey Rafa!

Rafa:

Hey Y/N, whats up?

You:

I need a favor.

Rafa:

I assumed as much. This is your first time texting me separately so you probably don’t want Diggs to know?

You:

That would be ideal.

Rafa: I’m already liking this. What do you need?

You:

I want to surprise Daveed at the clipping. concert coming up in a few days.

Rafa raised a brow, glancing at Daveed who was in the booth recording his verse.

Rafa:

You’re coming to California?

You:

I may have just bought a plane ticket on a whim.

Rafa:

What is it with you two and impulse buying?

You:

I just had this urge to see him and then I bought the ticket, I really didn’t think this through. Forget it, I’ll just cancel, this is dumb.

Rafa:

You should come. He would probably be super happy to see you and I would help you sneak in. I’ll even pick you up from the airport.

You bit your lip, staring at the confirmation screen on your laptop. It had started with you looking at old photos of you and Daveed you forgot were on your computer. Then you started thinking about your run in with Daveed almost 3 months ago, the rush that you felt as you walked him to his hotel, the giddy feeling in your stomach as you two texted for the first time in six years. You wanted to see him, you needed to see him. He came to you last time so it was only fair you went to him this time, right?

You:

You sure?

Rafa:

Hella sure. Send me your flight info and I’ll be there.

You were really going to do this.

“Go big or go home.” You whispered to yourself, shutting your laptop and starting to plan what you were gonna pack.

“Y/N! Over here!”

You turned around and saw Rafa waving from his car. You rushed over, tossing the suitcase into the already open trunk.

“I am so sorry I’m late. The flight got delayed and then the baggage claim took forever to fucking start and God I hope we don’t miss everything.” You babbled, buckling up.

“It’ll cut close but I think we can make it there as they come out for encore.” Rafa pulled off, driving a bit faster than you thought was safe but you didn’t say anything.

“I’ll get you in, take you to the green room and you can wait there for him to get offstage.”

“How did you even sneak off without him saying anything?” You asked, looking over at Rafa.

“I told him yesterday that after ‘Shooter’ I had to run an errand but I’d be back before the end of the show.”

You nodded, looking out the window at the city.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I missed it.” You said, leaning your head against the window.

“The Bay missed you too, Y/N.” Rafa took a quick glance at you before looking at the road again.

You rode in comfortable silence until you got to the venue. You hopped out of the car, following Rafael as he flashed his pass and was let back in. Body & Blood was blaring through the speakers when you entered, the room was insanely hot and the smell of sweat and alcohol was in the air. You ducked your head and spedwalk with Rafa to the backstage door. You both slipped in and took a deep breath as he slowed his speed walk to a casual pace.

“You think he noticed me?” You asked, breathing slightly heavy as Rafael entered a room.

“Not a chance. He was too busy amping up the crowd. We should be good.” Rafa reassured you, sitting on the couch.

“Alcoholic gummy bears?” He offered, holding out the bowl.

“Nah, I’m good.” You shook your head, sitting next to him.

“There’s about 2 songs left before they finish the set.” Rafa informed you, stuffing some of the gummy bears into his mouth.

“I’m actually a bit nervous if I’m gonna be honest.” You admitted, looking over your outfit.

You wore a simple graphic tee with black shorts.

“Maybe I should’ve dressed up more?”

“Gonna pop out to a concert in a clubbing dress or something?” Rafa asked, smiling as you started to laugh.

“No! Not a clubbing dress but maybe...I don’t know.” You shrugged.

“He’s gonna be excited to see you no matter what you wear.”

You knew Rafa was right but you were still a bit nervous.

A couple minutes passed and you heard the crowd cheering loudly.

“I think they just finished. You ready?”

“No.”

“Too bad.”

You giggled and nudged Rafael playfully.

“Jerk.”

You turned your head to the door as it opened, your stomach dropping as Jonathan entered the room. Bill was close behind him and then Daveed walked in. He was wiping his face with the shirt he had removed while on stage.

“Why does sweat burn when it gets in your eyes?” Daveed groaned, stumbling in the general direction of the couch.

Bill and Jon chuckled, nodding as Rafael held a finger to his lips.

Daveed blinked rapidly once he moved the shirt away from his face, trying to focus his vision. Once he could see clearly he looked around, finally noticing your presence.

“Hey.” You waved, nervously awaiting his reaction.

Daveed turned to his groupmates who shook their heads.

“We had nothing to do with this!” Bill said, picking up his bag.

Daveed turned back to you and Rafa, glaring at his best friend.

“Surprise!” Rafa yelled, smiling brightly.

Daveed looked at you again, a wide grin on his face.

“I want to hug you but I am so damn sweaty right now it would be gross. I can’t believe you flew out here!” Daveed sat next to you.

“It’s only fair since you came to me last time. I wanted to see you.”

Your eyes flickered to his torso which was still glistening with sweat.

“I’m really glad you’re here.”

You locked gazes with him, willing your heart to slow down but he was looking at you as if you were the only thing that mattered at this moment.

“Yeah..me too.”

Rafa signaled to Bill and Jon, he nodded towards the door and they understood. Quietly they packed up their stuff and slipped out while you and Daveed were talking to each other.

“I’m gonna go meet fans but I’ll be back as quickly as possible. Promise.” Daveed jumped up, still pumped from the show.

You watched him put on a different shirt before jogging out of the room. You played on your phone until Daveed returned, calmer but still smiling brightly.

“Ready?” He asked, grabbing the few things he had scattered around.

“After you.”

Daveed lead the way out of the venue and to his car. He waved to some fans who were lingering around the venue before getting in.

“Do you mind if we hang back at my place? I really need to hop in the shower.” Daveed tossed his show shirt into the backseat before putting his key in the ignition.

“Fine with me, I wouldn’t mind just chilling. That plane ride has me exhausted anyway.”

“You hungry? We could get food on the way home?”

You smiled to yourself at the familiarity of this scene. Daveed driving, you in the passenger seat, talking about dinner. This was how things used to be all those years ago.

“Y/N?” Daveed called your name, bringing back into the moment.

“Oh, sorry. I spaced out a bit. Let’s order takeout when we get to your place.”

Daveed glanced over at a red light, giving you a small smile. What you didn’t know was he felt the same way. Part of him wanted to reach out and hold your hand like he used to. Instead, he kept his hands either on the wheel or on his lap. Eventually you pulled up to Daveed’s apartment building. You followed behind as he entered and called the elevator.

“This is nice.” You commented as he pushed the “4” button.

“Our old house felt too big once you left, I needed something smaller and different. Rafa found this place online and we both agreed quickly it was for us.” Daveed explained as he exited the elevator and lead you to a door marked 410.

You felt a pang of guilt in your stomach as you thought of your old house. It was really yours, you designed all the rooms with little input from Daveed. You wondered who could be living there now.

“I’m gonna shower. Go ahead and get comfy.” Daveed walked down the hall, leaving you alone in the living room.

You decided to check out the rooms while Daveed was cleaning up. You looked around the living room and kitchen. You knew there wouldn’t be much design since Rafa and Daveed were never into decorating. You walked down the hall, the sound of water getting louder as you passed a door.

“Bathroom.” You muttered to yourself, thinking about the many times you’d seen Daveed get in and out of the shower.

The many times you shared showers together.

Not the right time Y/N.

You pushed those thoughts to the back of your head as you continued down the hall to another room. You peeked in and knew straight away it was Daveed’s room. The papers strewn about the room was a dead giveaway. You would always yell at him to try and keep the room clean back when you two shared a room but when Daveed got an idea, he was everywhere and so were his papers. You giggled to yourself and closed the door, continuing down the hall. You peeked in another room and assumed this had to be Rafael’s room. It was more put together than Daveed’s, his laptop sitting on his desk and a backpack on his bed. You closed the door and started walking back to the living room, the only other thing you could peek in was hallway closets. You slowed down as you near Daveed’s door. Part of you wanted to explore his room but the other part felt it was going too far. You had only seen each other twice in the past 6 years. You turned to the bathroom and listened closely, the water was still running. Good.

You entered Daveed’s room, shutting it behind you. You slowly walked deeper into the room, taking in everything around you. You eyed his unmade bed, debating if making it was too much.

“I’m already in here.” You reasoned, walking over and clearing his bed before making it. Once the bed was to your satisfaction, you placed his computer back on it. You picked up his notebook and the papers on the floor with the intention of putting them on his desk. You set down each paper one by one, scanning over the words before putting it on top of his notebook. It’s been a long time since you’ve gotten to read Daveed’s work, he was still as brilliant as ever. You got to the last paper and the title caught your eye.

“‘Six Years’.” You mumbled to yourself, sitting on the desk.

The paper had a lot of scratched out words and erase marks, nevertheless, you read it anyway.

“Y/N?”

You yelped and threw the paper down on the desk, making eye contact with a wet and almost naked Daveed.

“Woah! Shit! Sorry! Sorry I, shit, fuck, oh my god.” You covered your eyes, embarrassment burning in your cheeks.

“I was just looking around and I came in here without thinking and I am so sorry I shouldn’t have come in here.” You rambled, eyes screwed shut though you were already covering your face.

When Daveed didn’t say anything, you slowly lowered your hands and opened your eyes. He looked amused.

“Don’t laugh at me!”

“Me? Noooo, never! I’m not laughing.” Daveed replied, biting back laughter.

Your eyes wandered down his chest to his towel that left very little to the imagination.

“Are you looking at my dick print?”

Your eyes snapped back up to his face, your blush deepening.

“No! I think my phone’s ringing I’m gonna just go.” You blurted, running out the room and into the living room.

“Why did I go in there?” You scolded yourself, hitting yourself lightly on the forehead as you sat on the couch.

You were here a total of 15 minutes and already had embarrassed yourself beyond belief. You wanted to run, you wanted to turn back time and start over. Instead, you waited patiently on the couch for Daveed to come out. You turned to the hallway when you heard a door open. Daveed came into your line of sight, wearing a tank top and sweatpants.

“Hey, do you want a pair of sweatpants?” He asked, sitting next to you on the couch.

“N-no, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You’ve seen me naked a lot of times, you know.” Daveed pointed out, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV.

“Well yeah, but I was just caught off guard.”

“So you look at my dick.”

“Daveed for the love of God.” You whined, covering your face again as he laughed.

“I’m just saying it’s nothing new, it’s chill. No need to be embarrassed.” He smiled reassuringly.

You dropped your hands and looked at him. He was right, you weren’t strangers. You’ve been friends for months now and knew each other for most of your lives.

“You’re right. I guess getting back into the swing of things is still a process.” You replied, picking up your phone.

“Chinese?”

“Chinese.” Daveed agreed, clicking through channels, “The usual for me. Oh wait, you probably don’t rem-”

“I do.” You cut him off, dialing the number and clicking call, “Spare rib tips with pork fried rice. Right?”

Daveed looked over at you, nodding with a grin on his face.

“I’m shocked you remember.”

You opened your mouth to answer when an employee picked up the phone. You gave them your order and let Daveed tell them the address.

“Should be here in 30.” You said, hanging up the phone.

Daveed’s arm rested behind you on the couch. You leaned back, instinctively swinging a leg on his lap. You went to move it when Daveed rested his hand on your knee.

“It’s fine, I did say get comfortable.” He reminded you, giving you a small smile.

“Yeah. Comfortable.” You repeated, putting your other leg in his lap.

You turned to the TV, trying to ignore the chill that ran through you as Daveed traced patterns on your knee absentmindedly. You fidgeted with the bottom of your shorts, trying to focus on the movie Daveed chose to put on. Then he started to twirl the ends of your hair. You relaxed even more, sinking closer until your head was resting on his shoulder. Daveed rested his head on top of yours, smiling to himself. You closed your eyes, the movie long forgotten as Daveed’s scent surrounded you.

You started thinking about old times, you seemed to be doing that a lot lately. You would be getting ready for work and you’d think back to the mornings Daveed would try and keep you in bed when you had errands to run. You would bake yourself cookies as a treat and think about how you used to chase Daveed out of the kitchen so he wouldn’t eat all the cookie dough. You would hear a certain song and think about the rare Sunday mornings when Daveed would help you clean as you sang along to the radio loudly. You would see an advertisement with Daveed in it and think back to when you would mock his poses and make jabs at him. Some days you didn’t need something to trigger a memory, you would just think of him.

Daveed.

You pulled back so you could look at him, Daveed noticed your movements and looked down at you. There it was again, that look in his eyes that always made you melt. You softly placed your hand on his cheek, softly stroking the scruff on his face. He smiled lightly, keeping his eyes on you. Then your gaze moved to his lips and the only thing on your mind was how they felt against yours. You could barely remember and that needed to change. You softly pressed your lips to Daveed’s, your hand moving from his cheek to fist his shirt. You pulled away slowly when he didn’t react, ready to apologize and run out. Before you could get a word out Daveed surged forward, crashing his lips to yours. You instantly kissed back, pulling hard on his shirt until you were laying on the couch and he was hovering over you. The shift was awkward but eventually you had your legs wrapped around Daveed, arms around his neck and hands in his hair. You rolled your hips against him, tugging on his bottom lip. Daveed grunted softly, one of his hands gripping your hip as he rutted against you.

Then you felt Daveed rip himself away from you and off the couch. You blinked slowly, stunned by the sudden loss of contact. Daveed was across the room, breathing heavily and looking at you.

“Sorry. I’m sorry I…” Daveed sighed, running his hand over his face.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking. I wasn’t thinking and I just went for it. I pushed you too far-”

“I wanted it. I wanted it so fucking bad. I loved it. I love you. I miss you. Fuck.” Daveed rambled, pacing back and forth.

It was more like he was fighting with himself than talking to you.

“Then why did you stop?” You asked, sitting up straight.

That question made Daveed stop pacing. He stared ahead at the wall, chewing his lip in deep thought. You watched him, waiting for a reply but he never spoke. Instead he turned away from you.

“Daveed? Talk to me… did I do something wrong?” You stood up slowly, walking over to him but still keeping your distance.

Daveed shook his head, chuckling humorlessly.

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

You frowned, taking a step back from him.

“I’m sorry…”

You didn’t know what you were apologizing for but you felt the need to say it.

“I ruined everything again, didn’t I?” You asked, voice trembling as you fought back tears.

You came here with hopes of things being better but just like six years ago, you were throwing it all away. This time it was unintentional and every attempt to salvage anything only screwed you further.

“No, you didn’t. You didn’t, it’s me.” Daveed reassured you, facing you once again.

“I…” Daveed trailed off, taking a deep breath.

“I’m scared. What if you just run off again? I don’t want to get so deeply invested in you again just to get fucked over. I understand why you chose to leave and I know it was for the best but that doesn’t mean it didn’t mess me up when you left.”

Your heart shattered, for the first time you saw how deeply your decision affected Daveed. You could see the damage you left behind when you walked out of that door. You delicately took Daveed’s hand, squeezing it.

“I know it’s hard to trust my word but it’s all I got Daveed. The moment I saw you at my restaurant I knew I was still in love with you. I never tried to get over you and part of me didn’t want to get over you.”

Your free hand reached up to Daveed’s chin, tilting his head so he was looking into your eyes.

“I love you too. I want to try again and I’m not going anywhere. I know only time will prove my words but I mean it.” You said in a soft voice, lacing your fingers together.

Daveed squeezed your hand before kissing the back of it.

“I believe in second chances.” He responded, smiling widely.

You mirrored his smile before tackling him with a hug. Daveed stumbled backward a bit before regaining his footing and hugging you back.

The doorbell rang, causing you two to break apart.

“Perfect timing, I’m starving.” You kissed Daveed’s cheek before going to answer the door. You paid for the food and sat down next to Daveed on the couch.

“Fortune cookies first!” You smiled, handing Daveed one.

“Okay okay.” He chuckled, cracking his open.

“‘People are naturally attracted to you.’ Eh, this one is kinda bullshit.” Daveed shrugged.

“I think it’s a cute one! Mine says, ‘The man or woman you desire feels the same about you.’ Oh my god, does that mean Bruno Mars actually wants me!” You turned to Daveed with a faux surprised face.

Daveed rolled his eyes, picking up his takeout container.

“Why don’t you go find out?” He grumbled, eating some of his rice.

“Awwwww, is someone jealousssss?” You teased, poking his side before picking up your container and opening it.

“Nope.”

“Yes you areeeee.”

“Y/N, leave me alone.” Daveed deadpanned but you could tell by his facial expression he was trying not to smile.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

“You’re cute in general.”

You rolled your eyes, smiling as you cuddled up to his side again.

“You’re corny.”

“You love it.”

“I love you.” You retorted, giggling as Daveed looked over at you.

“Oh but I’m the corny one?”

“I’m cute corny, you’re just wack.”

“Getting real close to bending you over my knee.” Daveed jested, sipping from his water bottle.

“That’s my favorite place to be.” You purred, kissing his jaw.

You smirked when Daveed choked on his water and started coughing. This was how it was meant to be.

#daveed diggs x reader #daveed diggs imagine #daveed diggs fluff #hamilcast rpf #hamilcast x reader #hamilcast imagine

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20yearstostart · 6 years ago

Text

Tuesday 18th September, 2018

Dear Blank,

Okay, first things first, I love this step so much. It kills me and I want them to stomp on my grave like that. :)

YAAASSSSS! OMFFGGGGFGFGF

How are you? I feel like I never ask about you, but you can’t tell me how you are so I just feel stupid now. But I can tell you about me.

I am good. I’m doing great, today was a good day. And I made an impulsive decision that I don’t know when I will start to regret, but for now, it’s fine. (i tipsy announced I’ll start writing again when I haven’t written since I put up my going away post)

Well, today I went to Dreamy’s place, but I couldn’t tell him that I reached the station cause I was out of credit, and I had to top up my hop card as well. Since the machines can’t take fifty’s, I went to a dairy to get recharge and get change so I can top up. On the way to the dairy, I saw a cute security guy and we smiled at each other, for some reason wearing huge black clothes that make me look like a cloud of darkness makes me feel more comfortable and confident.

Okay, I lied, he wasn’t cute cute, but he was cute like ‘oh, i can lead him on.’ I am a horrible person if you haven’t realised. But that was for like a moment, and I got over it the moment he walked out of my sight lol.

Alright, I have my credit now and I text Dreamy that I’m here, and start walking back to the station to top up because I thought we were going to catch the bus back. So, I’m walking, alright, and these two guys are standing by the entrance of the station pathway, and one of them (the older man) starts to walk away from the other guy, and towards me. He looks at me and smiles, and I smile back, cause everyone is so friendly in this neighbourhood omg.

The guy points to the other guy and says something along the lines of ‘he is a nice guy and single.’ He says it as a joke, so I politely laugh, and look at the guy and do the awkward laugh thing as I continue walking past him. Now, Blank, I hear a voice from behind me. Through my earphones blasting GOT7′s new lit af album; I turn around and see that he was talking to me. I see his hand by his head, his thumb and pinky finger out like a was’good sigh, but he meant it like a phone and I was like ‘woah, wth?!”

I take an earphone out and an old lady walks between us, and he calls out ‘do you have a number?’ I can’t believe my ears, so I walk closer and am like ‘sorry?’ and he’s like ‘can I have your number?’

Now, for a moment I forgot I was twenty and that I’m a second-year uni student. I stare at him and lowkey stammer, wanting to say that I’m too young for this, cause for a moment I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS 17. But, I couldn’t really say anything cause he was like ‘oh are you taken?’ and instantly, I thought back to Dreamy, and we talked about this, and we are supposed to say ‘Nah, we’re single’ cause we are just friends with benefit. But, I think I took too long cause he was like ‘oh algoods’ while I was still stumbling over my words.

I say sorry and thank you for the tenth time, and turn and walk away to the station and top up. Coincidently, as I was walking back out, I saw the guy again and we did the little omg hi, again thing. The guy from before was back, and he looked at me, and pointed at him and was like ‘he has a number, take his number.’

I saw the guy turn around and look at me and I was like, ‘what do I say?’ and he was like ‘you want it?’

Before I could say anything, he started taking his phone out and I was like ‘oh well.’

So now I have a guy, whose name is Diamond, on my phone. He said he wanted to take me out for coffee, but I really don’t have time for that shit. lol, but it still felt good.

And then I met Dreamy and told him that a guy gave me his number, and ordered food. We also got my beloved Vodka, so I think I’m okay now.

Now, Blank, it’s time for a special segment I like to call:

TMI, Sex Education.

So, my first question is what is squirting?

Everytime Dreamy and I do stuff, I feel like I’m about to pee. Every time when he fingers me (his fingers are amazing, omg, they make me want to cry), and he starts hitting my G-spot, I feel like I’m about to pee and I tell him to stop because I don’t want to wet his bed.

Everytime that I did stop him, he didn’t want to. He wanted to see what would happen next, and so did I, but I really really really kept on feeling like a bitch was about to pee. I know what an orgasm feels like, I masturbate all the time. But this is something else, like the pressure and need to release is so so intense, I really feel like I’ll pee.

So, I stopped us and peed, and then came back. We somehow (huehue) started up again, and this time he was like ‘oh you just peed, so I’m pretty sure it’s not pee. I need to change the sheets anyways.’

you know what’s coming next, blank.

So, I’m almost there; my legs shaking, mind going blank, and his fingers are doing exactly what I want him to do, and I can feel his body and omg its really good. I tell him ‘I’m about to pee.’

and this fucker speeds up and tells me to do it.

he lowkey chokes me in between too cause I really like it.

OMG WHEN HE CHOKES ME AS HE FINGERS ME LIKE REALLY FAST AND HARD I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO HEAVEN I ALMOST CRY. BUT I HOLD IT BACK CAUSE HIS EGO, GODDAMN.

okay.

So he speeds up and tells me to do it, so I start to and then I instantly hold back and omfg. I’m cringing. this is so bad.

Instead of the amazing 5 feet full force squirt, you see in porn; my last minute hold back, caused it to dribble down like pee and who the fuck knows, maybe it is pee. Fuck my life, you know. (i researched- it’s unclear, but most like not completely pee, lmao)

So that’s done, and I’m like welp, and he was like ‘oh okay, no five ft shit.’ And I’m just lying there like ‘omfg I think I peed his bed a little.’

He gets up, gets tissues and cleans up, and I don't look at him coz omggggg, I think I just peed his bed. How do you look at someone after you’ve peed their bed???!?!??! Tell me, Blank.

I start getting dressed and his like stop and im like, ‘i think we should just chill now.’ at this point I am almost about to start crying by how horrified I am. He comes back after washing his hands, and looks at me and is like ‘what are you doing?’

I’m trying to wear my undies and get dressed boii, what does it look like im doing?

He’s like ‘hey, stop,’ or something like that, but like in a nice soft way and even though that was really sweet and exactly what I needed, it made me want to cry more. A bit like how you feel when you make a mistake and instead of getting mad at you, your parents are just disappointed or upset and that makes you feel more shitty? yeah, kinda like that.

He comes in front of me and is like ‘hey look at me,’ but instead, I look at the floor and avoid his eyes. And then he holds my face and brings it to so im meeting his eyes, but I close my eyes cause I’m bratty like that lol. I get out of his grip and start looking for the rest of my clothes.

He comes from behind and pulls me back onto the bed, and his just so ugh. I hate him. He’s so good at handling my mood swings, and my craziness. All my emotions are all over the place, but he is so calm and collected, and when he needs to he is so mature. It’s really truly so attractive.

We ended up having another round so you could say it worked out.

Moral of the lesson: MAKE SURE THE GUY (OR GIRL) THAT YOU ARE HAVING SEX WITH IS A GOOD PERSON, AND THAT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THEM. It’s okay if they turn out to be the shittest fuckers later on, but while you are together and do things that make you feel embarrassed, try to find someone who makes you feel alright about it, and reassures you. Or just don’t be a little bitch, and squirt all the way if you’re going for it lol.

Later on, we were laying in bed, and I started playing with his hair. I wanted to see how long it’d take him to fall asleep, and it was pretty quick. He snored a bit, and I felt kinda proud for some reason. I think I moved my hand a little and he woke up mid-snore. But then later on, when he said that I woke up mid snore too so I guess it’s normal? I don’t know.

But, the thing is Blank, I must be really really comfortable with this kid that I met a few months ago. I find sleeping in front of people so weird, it’s like- I don’t know. I don’t have control over my body at that moment, and this person can wake up and just look at me. I’m probably drooling, snoring or farting, or I sleep with my eyes open, or I sleep talk. I don’t know. It just seems very very intimate to me, and I can’t just sleep in front of people, but I can with him and it’s nice. I really glad to be friends with him.

His a bit of a kid. Okay, that was a lie. He is really childish; he is like a kid. Yet, at the same time, he is so dependable and mature, and kind. It’s unreal. He is amazing and I hope we can stay friends even after we finish this benefit thing.

Also, he climbed through a window into his house because we got locked out, and he has big feet. It’s cute. lol.

Okay, so this Wednesday now:

I went to the dentist, almost got into argument with her because she said that I didn’t try hard enough to contact her. But I went to her office and waited for like an hour before I left after leaving a note. It’s not my fault her service as gone so bad. I like her, but sometimes I don’t know. Everyone has bad days; I’ll just blame it on Big Boss.

That’s it for now.

I’m going to look for my glasses now, and then make a list of all the lectures I need to catch up on. Then maybe write for my other blog; I’ve started it up again and I’m so happy seeing some of my readers telling me they so happy Im back hehe.

Also, my girl came to uni looking like a snack! She’s so pretty and her body looked sooo good in the playsuit? jumpsuit? Like her booty!! DAAAMNNNN!! She just looked really good.

I think I’ll just buy my leather jacket rn instead of waiting. Maybe next week, after I give Mausi money. I should talk to Fairy about working and everything, but I don’t want to be pushy. But Mausi is in a shitty place too, I don’t know. It’s not my place to speak, but someone needs to talk to him to figure out what’s going on inside his head.

It was a good day today.

I’m happy.

Also, I love GOT7. Their new comeback is amazing. I think this is my favourite one. I think this one might have topped all the others and all the promotions. I am so happy to see them so well! I really pray for the best for them! <3

god, i want him to stab me in my chest with his fingers. that makes no sense, but fu blank.

THE SKY:

The sky was almost in darkness when I saw it. Or maybe, it was in complete darkness but it was the light pollution and the cloudiness that made it seem lighter? But it looked so pretty, it warmed my heart for some reason. The wind was crispy cold; staying true to its late winter name, but the sky looked so warm.

It was tinted purple, dark lavender if possible? And it was smudgy and so so beautiful. The apartment buildings that stood in front of the bench I sat on in the station added to the backdrop, and I think it made me feel warm because it reminded me of the life I want to be living. I want to live in an apartment or somewhere alone, where I can sit outside after nightfall and watch the sky. I want to be able to see the glowing streetlights and the endless sky and not feel worried or anxious. I just want to be able to enjoy the sky.

Why is that so hard, Blank?

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#diary #sex education #dear diary #dear blankm #blank #dreamy #got7's comeback has me shook #I love them so much #ahhhhh #nothing but love and appreciation for my kings #<3

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