#He's short af but one hell of a fighter

[kurokotori]

Self indulge post. (OC: Inei)

[what-have-i-unleashed]

something that is fascinating to me that i don't think get explored much afaik in transformers is cross-generation relationships. like these are millions-year-old alien robots with no concept of childhood and also incredibly slow but incredibly traumatizing eras so imagine how fast the great civil war happened. but maybe because their culture is just war this is just a normal thing to them... maybe???

anyway. in my au, i have skywarp be the oldest and from the quintesson era. they are one of the oldest surviving lines of fighter jets and fought against their masters. after the war it was hard to adjust to civilian life so skywarp just... fucked off to somewhere until they got a call from their old buddy shockwave that another war is brewing and maybe they should join in for good old time sake. so skywarp is pretty alienated from modern cybertronian and seeker culture (what the hell is a "seeker" btw??? <- skywarp be like). leaving cybertron for 6 million years does that to a person.

starscream is from the golden age, the peace time. too bad that the iacon science academy is functionist af so now she's a wanted criminal now for supposedly "murder attempt". smh they hate to see a girlboss winning 😒😒😒 anyway, what's better than embracing being a full-fledged criminal and joining the budding decepticon movement? and oh, now starscream gets a position as a researcher under one of the greatest minds on primus grey earth too: shockwave!! man, if only her boss was less of a critic so she could leave him alone and not accidentally give him poison every time........

and lastly, the highly soughy-after outlier spark, a rare commodity and resource in the war: thundercracker! warborn, commissioned by the decepticons, thundercracker is quite literally made for war. but he dreams of the supposed better times - the short time of peace on cybertron that many in the army have lived through. wait, what do you mean it was horrible??? surely nothing can be more terrible than the war they're in right now, where the average age for every warborn is 20 seconds...... thundercracker only wants to finish the war as soon as possible and live his life in peace... isn't that so bad....

[theanticool]

Turns out Naoya Inoue is actually just that damn good.

Inoue took apart Fulton over the course of 8 rounds. The generous read was the fight was 6-1 Inoue heading into the 8th. But it was all Inoue.The jab was accurate, damaging, and disruptive. It set the tone all night as he used an up-jab to break through the guard of Fulton. It was thudding. And it forced Fulton to either reset or back out of exchanges, giving Inoue a runway to follow up. When Fulton did try to jab with Inoue, Inoue did an amazing job of getting the inside angle and basically letting Fulton leap into a stiff short jab. It was great. But the thing that really stole this fight for Inoue was the body jab. From basically the 2nd round on, Inoue was landing that jab at will. Fulton didn’t offer much resistance. He attempted to counter the body jab once with a chopping right hand but Inoue immediately countered by hooking off the body jab. Extremely beautiful stuff. I think Inoue landed something like 20 body jabs over the course of the first 7 rounds. The killing blow was set up by a jab to the gut that forces Fulton to drop the lead hand. That provided the hole for the right hand to finally land flush on Fulton. It completely rocked him. He tried to stay up (both gloves seemed to have touched the ground) as he ran to the corner but Inoue followed it and landed a sweeping left hook that floored Fulton. He beat the count but was instantly stormed to the post where Inoue flurried and the ref called the fight as Fulton fell to his butt.

One of my worries for Fulton heading into this fight was Inoue’s speed and skill in open space. While his wins over Figueroa, Leo and Roman were impressive, none of them are Inoue stylistically. The idea was that Fulton was a fleet footed lateral movement based fighter that could theoretically keep Inoue at range with his size and lean on him when it came time to get on the inside, smothering the smaller fighter’s work. Neither of those things happened. Turns out, Roman is not analogous to Inoue. I’m actually curious if Fulton’s all terrain nature kind of bit him on the ass here. We’ve seen fighters who are willing to meet their opponents at the range/pace they want struggle when they have to be the setter. Cause Fulton was content sitting in a bladed stance at middle distance with Inoue, probably a terrible idea for basically anyone. The lateral movement we had seen basically didn’t exist as Inoue didn’t really pressure and Fulton didn’t try to make him chase. When Fulton did move, it was purely defensive. There were a couple times between rounds 5 and 7 where Fulton would land something meaningful, usually off of subtle half steps disguised by his own jab. But he could not build off it. And while Fulton is the bigger fighter, he’s not more aggressive. He’s not a pressure fighter himself who was going to use his size to bully around Inoue. And that definitely wasn’t going to happen after the first couple of clinch exchanges. Inoue did a great job of punching in the tie ups. One time an illegal uppercut after pushing Fulton’s head from the front headlock position (dope af tbh). Another a series of right hands after Fulton lept in behind the jab and got his arm trapped on the shoulder of Inoue. Inoue was just the better inside fighter.

I feel bad because Fulton is a great fighter. Like legitimately great. He’s beaten most of the top of the 122lb division. He’s tough as hell. Been in wars with some tough fighters. He takes the tough fights fans say they want to see. He earned those two world titles. He went over to Tokyo in an attempt to do something legitimately amazing, challenging, and career-defining. He does all the things you want high level prizefighters to do but he just came up against a once in a generation type fighter in his prime. And it’s a shame that I don’t have more positive things to say about him in this fight, but that is just a testament to how great Inoue is and how much he dominated this fight. I definitely underestimated Inoue in a few respects. The power more than carried. He didn’t look that much smaller than Fulton either. His fighting in the tie ups was way better than I thought it was.

It looks like we’ll be getting Inoue vs Marlon Tapales in November/December in a unification bout for all 4 major titles at jr featherweight. If that’s the case, there’s a good chance Inoue will be a 2 division undisputed champion. Absolutely amazing.

[tobypass]

Name and pronouns: Tino, he/him

Short bio:

-one of the six (seven if Lucifer is included) seraphim created by God.

-Classical isekai plot. Fell asleep after playing WHB game, woke up in the middle of God making them. Can't remember procedure, only knows the fight of beliefs: I'm an atheist vs I love God. Keeps internal conflict for rest of life, pops up when alone and stressed out.

-different earth than WHB earth. Was sleeping after playing regular daily grind of WHB game.

-does not know how they got into WHB. Is there a being higher than God. Who knows? (It's us, readers/authors hehe~) Is currently in Hell keeping an eye on Solomon.

-Hell is like living in different human history time periods. Would like to record and take pictures of each country. Kind of a interesting tourist-y feel.

-Goes wherever Solomon goes. Usually sleeps in different beds. Will do single if necessary. Getting to be single lots of time due to Solomon's interference.

Character:

-Quiet and curious. Has small world of people they care for.

-Main priority is Solomon so treats others as thin air. If continuous interactions, treats other devil/angel/human with same tolerance as Solomon. Solomon and Tino is like "chaotic person vs. why are you like this, better make sure more chaos isn't done again". Will usually follow with whatever Solomon does.

-Again, Solomon is top priority. Protect him. After that, tries to get main fighters incapicitated so no further damage is done. (Hates to see damage costs racked up, once a low-income human)

Voice/The script you would like to see: normal everyday life, somehow is in the middle of a game of tag spanning the entire country. Dammit Solomon.

-listen to "His Fault", "An Evil Blunder", and "Brothers Panic!". That kind of crazy shenanigans. Otherwise, usually "Wheat and Sky" on a regular day. (Can you tell what my other favorite game is?)

-Voice is maaaaybe "Tranquil Monologue"

Important facts: is the only one that knows WHB was a game. The power of magic (belonging to authors/readers) blocks this info from being mind-read or otherwise not stated. Follows Solomon because wants to know what made him disappear later. Somehow dense AF, cannot tell that Solomon loves him romantically or any other devils. And also, one of the shortest people, 5'0 feet or 152.4 cm. Others like to put their arm on their head, arm rest head. Others (that Tino are comfortable with), can carry them around. Tino would wrap arms around neck and usually sleep.

Demons to include in the fic: Solomon, Mammon, Sitri

Brief description of relationship with chosen demons:

-Solomon already stated above. Otherwise, friendly and tolerant with whatever Solomon does. Like to hold Tino any chance they got. Solomon considers him as invaluable friend (lover plz plz plz) to have.

-Mammon ticks off Tino's love language (revieving gifts, unlimited wallet). Also he big and huggy. Very much like. Mammon likes small things (as seen in his Attack of Kings comic). Interesting small seraphim. Likes to squeeze butt while carrying him. Tino considers it a nice massage.

-Sitri sees him as suspicious. Angels are enemies. Must keep an eye on him. Can probably recognize his heartbeat amongst a big crowd after listening for so long. Can at least trust him to protect Solomon at all costs. Tino considers his spying as irrelevant, will ignore.

The tone in which it should be written: funny, fluffy

Narrative type: third person if possible

The script you would like to see: regular Hell day interrupted by Solomon having "fun", ends with sleeping with Solomon again (what you mean the other bed is wet?).

Hope this alright. Tell me if too much or too little. And for physical description: dark brown/black hair, same style like Deuce Spade in Twisted Wonderland. Dark brown/black eyes. Has 6 wings, can grow or shrink them to make travel easier. Can grow one wing to act as sun/rain shield while being carried. Clothes are simple-ish like Raphael's. Usually white, will wear Hell's colors if offered free clothes. Short 5'0 ft/152.4 cm person.

Guys, we're doing it!

Do you remember this survey? I didn't expect such a great response. If that many of you really want to participate, I guess I'll have to do more than one batch of the draw to choose as much of your MC's as I can.

More info under the cut!

Time for some rules, so we won't get lost

The concept is simple. You give me your precious OCs/MCs, I adopt them for a while, write fanfic (related to WHB, of course) and hand them over to your loving hands.

For now, I plan to choose 3-5 people to write for. This may change if more people apply. If one applies, I will write for one. If 96 apply, I will choose more. We'll figure it out.

You can apply in two ways. One is to reblog this post and describe everything in reply, the second is to create your own post with the hashtag #whbmcshuffle Preferably both at once. I don't want to accidentally lose any application. I also recommend following this tag for the time being because I will post further information under it.

The people I will write for will be drawn randomly. I want it to be fair, and I guess this is the only way I won't be biased when I see mutuals I like or Andrea my favorite demons.

You can apply for one week. Since we may all be in different time zones, submissions will close when this survey ends.

Feed me information. Since I want to write something good, I would like to ask you for some information. Here's the list:

Name and pronouns: Quite obvious. Short bio: Who are they? Any difficult past or traumas? What were they doing on earth? Did they get to hell like in canon? How do they feel in hell? Where they live? Character: What are their main character traits? How do they usually behave? How do they behave in crisis situations? Voice: (Not mandatory, although, very helpful.) What would the narrative look like? More calm or energetic? Confident or not at all? Funny or serious? Calm or nervous? Laid back or distrustful? You can even paste here a song or a link to some story that you think reflect your oc's voice well. Important facts: Free space, you can put whatever you want here and whatever you think is important. Demons to include in the fic: (from 1 to 3) Brief description of relationship with chosen demons: I guess that's obvious. The tone in which it should be written: (i.e. spicy, angst, fluff, funny or other) Narrative type: Second person (addressing as 'you') or third person (addressing with selected pronouns) The script you would like to see: (Not mandatory, although, very helpful) For example, a date on Earth, cooking together, whatever you come up with.

I know it's a lot to ask. This is a minimal list, but the more information you give me, the better I will be able to empathize with your MCs and hopefully imitate their character. If you have already written about them, for example in your other posts, feel free to include links, so I can take a better look at them. Of course, you can add photos, or a song, or memes, anything you want!

I didn't mention the length of the fic, but it depends on how I will feel writing it. But I'll want it to be at least 800 words.

Most important. Have fun! It's mainly about getting to know each other's OCs/MCs. Who knows, if there's a lot of interest, maybe we'll do more draws. 👀

I tried to include everything, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

[mrstsung]

How come anymore they make raiden so weak? Are people really that against raiden being the overworked,underappreciated,older brother of earthrealm? Are people that against the fact raiden could do everything and anything to help people. And yet.....absolutely be given the short end?

Raiden isn't supposed to be this,no offense to NRS and mk fans. Weak as fucking all hell.

Even in mortal form he was supposed to be an expert fighter with the highest level of whoop ass. The only reason why he kicked more ass is because of his godhood. But his godhood...LIKE ALL THINGS PEOPLE. Has some form of self responsiblity and honor.

Not to mention he cares extremely deeply for mortal lives. That's what made him the protector of earthrealm in the first damn place. Because he related so much to them.

He wasn't like other gods. The only other one closest to that was his Younger brother fujin. Who in turn. Also became a protector.

They kinda take turns between each other to watch over earthrealm and also the kombatants/earthrealms warriors too.

Like good lord some people obviously don't pay attention. But it's ok. It's a game. We too busy throwing hands and having fun to pay attention to story.

But thats also a double edged sword because this unfortunately makes the storylines bland af

But hey that's what blogs like these are for. So you can fill in the gaps better and dust off the unwanted bull.

Again ugh. Sorry for all the raiden rant posts of late.

But i can't stand to see one of my faves get so much slander and horrible writing.

Like raiden was my boy. I had many other crushes n faves(sassy hatbae kung lao and of course our favorite local bih sorcerer). But rai? Oh he was special.

He was comfort character,the easiest for me to play with,i loooooved his character,he was better imho when he was sarcastic and gentle but when push came to shove. Dont fuck with the god of thunder! He was indeed the older,wiser,and more reserved of the storm bros. But he was just as loving,passionate for life,and gentle as his brother fujin. (It's just older sibling problems ya know?) Like Raiden is the dude i would honestly go to talk to when i felt i needed advice or a shoulder to cry on. I feel he understands human emotions on a deeper level than most wanna believe. But he doesn't let them control him. Instead he feels them. And then lets it be. (Zen that shit mofo) he sits with them,be's their friend instead of going against the currents,he flows with them. He's definitely a "let me sit with you and let you talk,i will listen" or "sit with me a while and ease your burdens for a bit" type guy. Like i feel like they went hella backwards with raiden so much.

What is it with people making the most human,fun,and compassionate gods so to speak. Nerfed and weakened to all hell?

Do people not believe in compassionate gods or characters in general? I blame the worlds state and suffering for this terrible influx of writing. Which is sad. Because this should make people write even more compassionate characters,to bring light to the irl problems we see every day. But hey,it is what it is brah.

But anywho. I need sleep. No need to get too deep. Lol.

(Don't worry the shang tsimping will be back I'm just trying to give some love to my boy raiden because i see too much hate on him and it hurts my heart.)

[ironmandeficiency]

tf boys + dnd headcanons (bc i clearly have nothing better to do)

pairings: benny miller / reader (romantic) but platonic w the rest of the tf boys

word count: i’m typing this in the post itself good luck fuckers

summary: i got nothing y’all. just know that benny & will have a little extra info idk why

a/n: i’m semi-new to dnd but i’m armed w the player’s handbook and google so i will do my best

benny: i think dnd was a guilty pleasure for him during high school. yeah he was seen as a Hot Popular Guy™️ and played football and baseball, but there is and always has been a nerd living in that heart of gold. had one (1) set of dice he used for every campaign and even kept them with him when deployed. he joined a campaign for the first time in years after coming back from The Mission That Shall Not Be Named™️. creating new characters & a homebrew or two became a way for him to cope with everything that happened there and heal.

details abt (one of) benny’s character(s):

half-orc barbarian-bard multiclass, affectionately known as a bardbarian

college of lore + berserker pathways

himbo af and benny laughs a lot when he gets to act out said himboness

character has a tendency to start bar fights if his talent is questioned, and usually it’s beating them with his fists and/or lute. there’s an npc that owns an instrument shop the half-orc frequents that gives him a glare every time but will always repair or replace said lute

uses vicious mockery against the BBG (big bad guy) every time they face a new one and the guys have never laughed so hard at benny’s random insults

focuses more on utility spells bc it’s just that easy for him to beat the hell out of someone with fists and weapons. becomes a jack of all trades kind of guy (similar to irl) and enjoys the “oh shit he can do that?” questions when he pulls off an intricate

when you offhandedly mention dnd night with your friends while planning for a date, benny’s eyes go wide. “you play dnd?! why didn’t you tell me earlier, lovebug? i love dnd!” precious baby boy will gush abt his first campaign back in high school and find his first set of dice to show you. he’s excited bc dnd is now another thing you can do together as a couple. will ask if you two can make characters with interlocking backstories 🥺

will: he didn’t play in high school but knew some guys in basic training that played who explained the basics to him and his first thought was “oh benny would love this” bc he knows his brother that well benny never had the heart to tell will that he had been playing dnd for years before will told him abt it so will takes credit for introducing benny to dnd. didn’t join a campaign but a character was built & he was gifted a set of dice from that group’s dm in case he ever wanted to start. ends up taking this character with him when he joins one of your campaigns and enjoys it a lot more than he thought he would

details abt will’s character:

goliath male, abt 7’8” and 300ish lbs bc he a big chonk

ranger-fighter multiclass — “warrior who used martial prowess and nature magic to combat threats on the edge of civilization��� & “master of martial combat, skilled with a variety of weapons and armor” (pg. 45, dnd player’s handbook)

you can’t tell me that william miller wouldn’t enjoy the FUCK out of this combo without your pants catching fire

favored terrain: mountain, forest at level 6, and arctic at level 10

fighting style: two-weapon fighting

archetype: beast master. prefers a wolf, hawk, or mule companion but isn’t too picky

less of an emphasis on strength (goliath characters already get +1 to strength & rangers need more dexterity and wisdom anyways); instead, put his higher stat rolls into dex, wisdom, and constitution

you mention dnd early in getting to know will partly to just make conversation (and to snuff out whether he was the kind of guy to look down on the game as a whole). he tells you abt benny and a few of his army friends that played, and that he didn’t consider himself a player bc he hadn’t used his character yet. you called bullshit and, after getting him to play once, discovered that will would make a fabulous dm. his memory? impeccable. session plans? infallible, no matter what the party can improvise. is somehow always able to steer the party in the direction he needs them to go without being forceful. no one has ever heard a “you can certainly try” sound so encouraging yet foreboding at the same time.

frankie: poor man is absolutely clueless. he joins in on the dnd fun bc he saw how excited benny was and figured that it would be better than sitting at home by himself watching western reruns. ends up being inspired by said westerns (namely “the rifleman”) when creating his character and is crossing his fingers the entire time hoping that no one calls him on the similarities. despite the emphasis placed on charisma, he’s drawn to the paladin class bc of their self-chosen holy quest and the desire to vanquish evil (trauma 🥺). is learning how spells work as he goes and is frequently apologizing for holding up the session bc of this.

details abt frankie’s character:

half-elf paladin male

neutral good alignment

worships helm, god of protection (forgotten realms)

strength & charisma highest stats

protection fighting style

takes the oath of vengeance — “a solemn commitment to punish those who have committed a grevious sin” (phb, pg. 87). the character’s own purity is inferior to serving the justice they believe is required. to me, this just SCREAMS frankie

with the guidance of helm, his character became the sole caretaker to a child whose village was slaughtered by his character’s sworn enemy. strives to defeat said sworn enemy both in the name of his adopted son’s lost family & simply bc helm was like “dude you gotta stop this guy” shortly before frankie’s character found the child

has a bunch of healing & defense spells instead of combat spells bc why would he need combat spells if he can just fuck someone up with a weapon of choice?

santiago: like frankie, santi was absolutely clueless. but unlike frankie, he did a fuck ton of research during the days leading to the first night of the campaign. he he showed up after actually having done research with a well-rounded character with fitting stats and an intriguing backstory. does what a lot of men can’t and won’t by giving the party a female that is a genuine badass and respected for her badassery instead of being talked down to simply bc she’s a female. enjoys putting feline tendencies into his rp and the guys make cat jokes a lot.

details abt santiago’s character:

female tabaxi monk, way of the open hand

chaotic neutral alignment

was raised in the monastery and became a teacher in the ways for a short time. left the monastery after her curiosity revealed corruption within the ranks & was only allowed to leave freely under the condition of not telling anyone what she found

she was called back to teach when a sickness took down a lot of the elders and despite the reluctance, when she learned her mentor was sick, she went back. taught until his death and is in search of a medicine to save the monastery

her curiosity is fueled by her passion to learn everything she can. sometimes this gets her into some shenanigans but nothing too bad

triple frontier taglist: @pedropasscals @max--phillips @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @obirain @themarcusmoreno @catsnkooks @battletales @darthadeline @jedi-mando @book-of-anarchy @andysficrecs @purelypascal @whovianwar @lv7867 @kaermorons @princess76179 @greeneyedblondie44

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

(fair warning; thought this would be a short one & then somehow got carried away 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Couple main things learned from the Kondo subplot- 1. Nick claims he doesn’t have a lot of stuff, a tiny not even shoebox fits the things that don’t “bring him joy.” Soooo the jar is definitely bigger than that box, so it brings him joy *happy tears* AND as we see later in the ep...so does Bishop’s OK State sweatshirt 😭😭 and then 2. Bishop feels the need to get rid of a looooot & Nick is almost proud? Not even that surprised? But we’ll get into this in a second 😉

We were ROBBED of the scene of Nick wearing Ellie’s sweatshirt because Jack clearly saw it and said “we are all wondering if it’s more” so multiple people (I’m betting including Ellie because she was not shocked about Nick wearing it) saw it- WHY DIDN’T WE. I will not get over the fact that Nick took it, put it on Mr. I Wear Cashmere Sweaters, and kept it because it smells like her. Bishop & her scent on her clothes brings him 🎶jooooy 🎶

Why is them looking at each other through the nutshell so damn cute?? Like they didn’t have to gaze at each other inquisitively while bending over- but they did. It’s not like either was really looking at the contents of the nutshell, more so just each other 😩

Now on to this new Ellie stuff. The past few episodes have certainly hinted at some development in terms of anger/rage and technical skills, which we got nice clarification of at the end with that text from Odette. Clearly the training is not a new thing- Odette had placed the ball in Ellie’s court (and so did Ziva when she left saying, “Odette will be ready when you are”) aka, Ellie reached out to her a while back and is now meeting regularly with her. My best guess is after the hit&run- when she told McGee she was going to the office and then later said she went home...definitely sounds like she went to Odette’s. Imagine feeling helpless after your best friend and boyfriend you keeping denying is in a coma—the logical brain of yours knows you can’t kill him, hell you already went through every possible scenario and imagined every detail, but you know you can’t. But now suddenly your walls have come crashing down that you thought safeguarded your heart from feeling things & that passionate rage is threatening to overrule your logical side, so what do you do? Channel your rage into training yourself to being an even better agent, an even better fighter, better equipped to “save” Nick next time. This side training has given us some hot/badass AF moments like that swift kick-trip move that had me straight up screeching at my TV. If oooooonly Nick had been there to see that move, we ALL know he’d have been a hot mess trying to keep it in his pants over in the corner 🥵😂. Our boy would’ve loved to see it and then been like- wait, hold up. I didn’t teach you that, so who the hell did?? I can see Nick finding out about this training going down very interestingly. One of two ways- him being proud that she’s working on her fighting/technical skills and becoming more badass & independent OR (the more likely because boy does not trust Odette & I don’t totally blame him- I truly think that stems from worry for Ellie’s safety when it comes to a mentorship blooming there) Nick is pissed because that’s how he shows his worry for her and tries to shut her out again. Only time will tell…

Also! We’ve gotten this Ellie that wants to throw everything away- out with the old, in with the new kind of deal. And I went on about this in an ask here, but I think it stands true even after rewatching. Ellie is done being *just* the logistics analyst. She associates her previous way of life with a few major things- getting cheated on & divorced, losing two people that were extremely close to her yet despite doing her best to exact revenge on those responsible, she still likely felt like she could’ve done more- could’ve saved them if she knew more, had better skills. So along with all her past, recent triggers like Ziva’s return & departure, Nick’s near-death experience, hearing Art & Annie’s heart-breaking story, I think have pushed Ellie not only to train, but to rid herself of a lot of her past. “Simplify her life” and “evolve” to in her own way start over. Erasing bad memories and fighting to make sure the future holds good, safe memories. As I said in the ask, controlling what she can control (training with Odette & getting rid of old things that signify an “old” Ellie) when the world around her has been changing rapidly is her best way of coping. This time, when she starts “new” Ellie, it will be on her terms- the way she wants it to be.

I’m extremely excited for where this is taking her character development and hopefully progress with Nick. Here’s to hoping they truly did know about the shortened season in enough advance that we get a semi-decent (read: ELLICK FREAKING KISS) for the new 17x20 finale.

Side note: Jimmy & McGee fighting over a freaking box and then Jimmy running away with it was pure gooooold.

I probably could’ve deep-dove into the last scenes with Gibbs & Ellie even more- and I’m happy to, but I’m rushing to finish this while the baby is still napping 🙃 so just send me an ask if you want me to expand on proud dad!Gibbs & evolving!Ellie 😉

[draconida]

Shance Fic Recs (Part two)

And here more Shance's stories! 

41- Prettier than most by MissBluebelles [Explicit]

Shiro has fallen hard for the pretty blue paladin he woke up to in Keith's shack. There's no denying it. But while trying to keep those feelings in check, he notices how the beautiful young man slowly distances himself from the team.

When Lance overhears some of his team-mates talking about him behind his back, he finds himself crumbling under the pressure of the responsibilities he has as a paladin. Will he ever be enough? Will he ever be as good as his team?

42- The Alpha Prime of District Six by keir [Explicit and omegaverse]

Lance isn't getting any younger and he desperately wants a kit, but he's been jaded on love ever since his mate left him. It was just something silly at first when he went on a website meant for anonymous hookups; he didn't really think anything would come of it. But when someone catches his interest, he decides to take a risk and ends up with more than he had ever bargained for.

43- Lean On Me by KnightNuraStar

It was the first time Lance would meet any merfolk.

But, he thinks he'll get used to it.

Yup, he could definitely get used to it.

44- You and Her, Forever by starboyshiro

Lance spends Valentine’s Day absorbed in how much his life has changed in just a few short years. Especially about how much of an impact Takashi and Aria had on his life.

45- The Florist Next Door by starboyshiro

Hunk deflates a little, sinking back into the couch. "Just do something, please? I'm tired of seeing moping around because Shiro isn't your Valentine, yet."

"You seem really confident in Shiro's so-called feelings."

"It's easy to tell it's him dude. I know it, you know it. Hell, Blue probably even knows it! The whole damn world knows that Takashi Shirogane likes you!"

46- A Treat for the Eyes by PuppetMaster55 [Explicit]

Lance enjoys teasing his boyfriend with suggestive pics and videos.

Shiro decides to respond in kind.

47- All You Have To Do Is Ask by sitswithcats [Explicit]

Lance is desperate to get fucked, Shiro is happy to help out

Or

The fic where Lance rides Shiro while he flies the black lion that no one asked for but I wrote anyway.

48- The True Freshman by orphan_account

Shiro's sophomore year at Garrison Tech was already off to an unexpected start. Due to an injury, he was forced to take a medical redshirt year, making it his second year of ineligibility to play the sport he loved; his plans were ruined before the first day of classes even began.

His year gets even more interesting after his brother Keith ropes him into taking him to the first party of the year, where he meets another freshman named Lance.

49- Eye of the Storm by ThereWillBeCubes [Explicit, omegaverse and non-con]

Lance alone in the middle of a storm, and a stranger at his doorstep.

50- Ain't No God Where We're From, Darling by PastelClark [References To Rape/Torture]

“You want to release a group of the world’s worst criminals, complete with weapons, and try to get them to work for us.” Idly, Shiro wonders if he’d accidentally ingested a hallucinogen earlier in the day. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“No,” Allura’s voice is disturbingly calm. “I want to temporarily let out a group of incarcerated people I think could be useful for us, under heavy supervision.”

51- The Best Wingman Ever by magisterpavus

“I don’t understand,” Keith said flatly.

“IthinkIhaveabigfatstupidcrushonLance,” Shiro repeated.

Keith rubbed his eyes. “No, yeah, I got that; I just mean I don’t understand what you want me to do about it, Shiro.”

Shiro gawked at him. “Help me, Keith! That’s what best friends are supposed to do, you know, you’re supposed to be my, uh...wingman.” As soon as he said it, Shiro realized what an awful idea it was.

52- The Tailor by DuskBeforeDawn

Now, Lance knows a thing or two about kids, after all he had like a million cousins so he figured he may as well give a helping hand. Not like it was totally for the insanely hot officer, nope, not at all.

53- Nearly Witches (Read: Actually Witches) by TheLanceShow

Shiro, one day, decides to go to a shoppe to stop his nightmares. In the process, he becomes infatuated with a certain witch.

Or;

Lance is a witch and Shiro is under his spell.

54- Super Nanny by mettaverse [Trans Lance, in process]

Shiro has come back from war crippled- his arm is gone, PTSD rules his life, and he barely remembers how to smile. His wife, unable to handle the state Shiro came home in, has left him with their son Keith.

Thus enters Lance, the new nanny. His job, technically, is to take care of Keith at all times. But seeing Shiro, how sad he is, how broken, prompts Lance to personally take over Shiro's life, trying hard to help him pick up the pieces of his life.

55- Get Me Home by singtolife [omegaverse]

“Do you really think all omegas want to be fucked by you? Sorry to break it to you, but you can fuck off “

When Lance's car breaks down before he can even begin the journey home from college, Keith sends his brother Shiro over to help him out. As Lance waits, he's hit on by some asshole alpha who can't take no for an answer.

56- Brace for Impact by shyfoxes

"Not to be rude, my guy,” Lance said, “but you’re wrong. You are worth it. I’m going to prove it to you.”

“By doing what exactly?” Shiro asked, exasperated. “Standing outside Galra Tech with a sign? Spray-painting Zarkon’s car? There’s nothing you can do, Lance.”

Lance held his chin up. “What if I fight you?”

Shiro blinked, jaw dropping. “What?”

“What if I fight you? What if I fight everyone on that list to get to you?” Lance exclaimed. “If I win, you come with me. If I lose - I’ll leave you alone, forever.”

Or, underground fighter Shiro finally learns how to hope again from a persistent guy named Lance.

57- The Call of the Sea by Red_Ce

Lance watched the surface grow farther and farther away, bubbles rising all round, spiraling toward the sky. The waves pulled at his hair to surround his face, strands tickling his lips and freckles. His heartbeat pounded loud in his ears. His heart pulled him down. His fingertips pulled him down. His inadequacy pulled him down. He was drowning in it all.

Then- a flash to his right. Something grey and sleek. Lance righted himself, terror taking hold of his body for two infinite seconds. Prey, his subconscious whispered to him. To whatever this creature is, you are prey.

Lance is insecure and loves the water. Shiro is a carnivorous merman who probably wants to eat him. They meet, and bond.

58- Fluffy Bites by KnightNuraStar

Lance was trying to find a home to settle in.

Though, he's surprised when his home finds him.

Or well.. bites him.

59- Home by starboyshiro

Shiro knows a little bit more about flowers than Lance had anticipated.

60- vivir sin ellos, ya no podría by slimeys

Shiro tries to occupy himself in his surroundings, taking in the cloudy sky, the clanking of the train, the cute guy sitting across from him wearing the exact same outfit.

He's, like, really cute. Shiro doesn’t think he’s seen him before, because if he did, he’d definitely remember that bronze skin and those long legs. His cap is backwards, pulling dark waves off his forehead and revealing the cutest widow’s peak on this side of Snowqualmie. This is too much. Even as he looks down at his phone with a light smile—is he looking at a meme? Does he like memes? Shiro really hopes so—he exudes charisma and charm. Shiro is starting to think that it isn’t the matching clothes that drew his attention.

61- do you got plans tonight? by kalakauuas

Lance doesn’t know this guy, but he knows that being stood up is no fun, so. He takes matters into his own hands.

(and maybe holds Shiro’s while he’s at it.)

62- Shiro, You Horndog You! (Oneshot) by orphan_account [Explicit]

So basically, Shiro gets horny when him and Lance hand wrestle. Because who doesn't get horny af after a good hand wrestle amirite?. Lance says that the loser has to do anything the winner says. You know where that goes. Shiro takes full advantage of this and smut happens, as well as fluff, cuzz who doesn't love a good fluff.

63- Strobes and Stilettos by SpicyRedPaladin [Explicit]

Keith drags Shiro to a rave and promptly disappears. But Shiro finds company in a gorgeous Latino instead.

64- Platform 5 by after_midnightmunchies

To the gorgeous man with the ocean blue eyes whose phone I saved from plummeting off of Platform 5 last Tuesday: I forgot to put my number in it. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since then. If you feel the same, please meet me there again on Friday, February 14th at 5 pm.

“Who even reads the newspaper anymore?” Hunk snorted.

Lance never expected to be swept off of his feet by a classified ad in the newspaper, but there truly is a first time for everything.

65- Keeping Up Appearances by starboyshiro

“We have a date for you.”

“What!?” Shiro nearly chokes on his own spit.

“She’s a lovely girl. We think you would really like her.”

This time Shiro does choke on his own spit. Coughing wildly for a moment while his mother yells over the phone, asking if he’s okay. Her, oh my god. Quick Shiro think of something!

“I— uh, I have a date already!” Shit, Shiro, not that.

“Oh really? Who is she?”

“He is a very lovely man.” Whoever he is. Shiro’s really digging his own grave at this point.

66- To Dream Of Water by HedonistInk [Explicit, Shape of Water inspired]

For as long as he could remember, Lance had dreamed of water. His dreams felt more real than his waking life, a world swathed in shades of blue and green. Twisting, twirling in the water, it was the one place he felt complete, the only place he felt whole and unbroken and entirely himself. It was the only place he felt free.

And that was when he'd met him, the man from the sea who would change his life forever.

67- Of love and the art of ice cream future telling by taovol

The tale of how Lance solved the riddle that is Mystery Whitepatch Man and gained his phone number in the process.

OR

Lance has the hots for a mysterious costumer.

68- Seashells and Magic by KnightNuraStar

Lance was a water mage who moved into a tiny cottage by the sea.

During one of his disastrous flight lessons he gets to meet not only his neighbor...

But, also his admirer.

69- Magic Cats and Hot Wizards?! by AbandonedLibrary

Lance moves into a new town and finds it very strange. He goes into a store that has a strange cat and GASP! IS HARRY POTTER REAL?!

70- Unicorn Printed Toothbrush by AshesTheTerrible [Explicit, omegaverse and mpreg]

Lance and Shiro have their hands full with a two, four and six year old. Parenting is a challenge, finding alone time even more so. Their date nights once consisted of lavish restaurants and black tie affairs...now they are more along the lines of spending a night in, adorned in sweatpants.

71- An Old Tattoo by AshesTheTerrible [Explicit and omegaverse]

The tattoo is aged now, ink faded, colors years old. It's a time stamp from another phase of Lance's life, a postcard from his past. He was a different Omega then, lust drunk and wild...until he'd met Shiro.

Shiro changed everything.

72- Want You by starboyshiro

Despite Keith often complaining about Lance, he insists Shiro should go on a date with him. For once, Keith had a good idea.

73- My Friend's Hot Roommate by Aesthetic_Demon [Trans Lance]

After Shiro finished college alongside his best friend Keith they settled back in their home town. A few months later Keith announces that a very close friend of theirs will be staying over for a week- and although he's changed quite a bit, Shiro's big ass crush on him hasn't.

74- All For The Best by CrypticGabriel [Explicit, Trans Lance and pregnancy]

It was just one night. Prom night. After being together for a couple years, Lance and his boyfriend Shiro had their first time after a wonderful night of dancing and stargazing. Nothing was supposed to really… come from it.

Much to his dismay, the results he found were not the ones he’d intended to have.

In which Lance gets pregnant and feels it's best to handle it all on his own. But after five years of trying to hide it from Shiro, he had to go back on his word.

75- Unforgettable by HedonistInk

Like a song of love that clings to me | How the thought of you does things to me | Never before | Has someone been more...

Unforgettable.

When Shiro showed up on Lance's ward, Lance didn't expect him to be anything other than just another patient. He never dreamed he would miss him so much when he left.

76- Lost and Found by mysticmajestic

Shiro loses his daughter in the mall. Lance finds her.

77- Something Just Like This by Sarolonde

[19:09] Lance glad my photos were accidentally sent 2 a nice guy like u <3 thank u for not being a creep [19:22] Shiro Uh, you’re welcome. I guess? I don’t know what else I would have even done with the situation. [22:11] Lance u innocent sweet angel unicorn ^_^ g’night kind sir *tips hat* [22:13] Shiro Goodnight, Interesting Stranger.

The wonderful, unexpected consequences of Lance sending partially-nude pictures of himself to a stranger.

78- The Doctor Is In by HedonistInk, ZeroCrowe [Explicit and Trans Lance]

Lance had always hated going to the doctors for anything to do with his reproductive biology. But transitioning and other medical issues meant that Lance had spent more than his fair share of hours around doctors. It wasn’t until he was nineteen and having serious pain issues that his local GP finally referred him to the Gynaecology department at the hospital in the next town over. Fortunately for Lance, it wasn't that far of a drive. Unfortunately for Lance, his doctor turned out to be young and hot. Fortunately for Lance, that doctor thinks Lance is temptingly hot as well.

79- The Engine's Growl by AshesTheTerrible [Explicit and Trans Lance]

Lance had no idea that motorcyles vibrated so much.

The sleek, black, Harley was like a purring beast between his legs. He hadn't been keen on the idea of riding on one. But Shiro had convinced him and now he was having a strikingly fast change of heart towards the entire situation.

80- Rekindling by CrypticGabriel [Explicit, Trans Lance and kids]

Lance was happily married to a Marine Drill Instructor. At least, he thought he was. They'd been married for twelve years and had four kids together, and now he was worried the love was dying.

81- The Other by SuccubustyKisses [Explicit and Non-con]

When another Shiro comes from another dimension, asking Lance to run away with him, and threatening the life of his friends if he doesn’t. Who is Lance to say no?

Preview: “Oh! Right!” Other Pidge sat up straight again, pushing small half moon glasses back up on her nose. “My name is Kate Holt, though I’m sure you all know that. I’m chief communications officer of the Guns of Gamora. We had a recent… betrayal… that we believe will lead to issues for you guys and Sven asked me to contact you and well… give you, Lance, a warning.”

“Wait, me specifically?” Lance pointed up to himself confusion covering his face.

Kate nods. “You see one of our old members, Sven’s twin brother actually… he betrayed us, stole the Altean technology Hunk was using to try to find a cure for the whole mind control thing, used it on our own Lance turning him against us, and with the technology we were developing together to do dimensional jumps… well… he’s in your dimension now.” She shrugs. Guilt written across her face. “We’re not actually sure if he’s after anything, but the fact that he took our own Lance makes us think that he could also go after you.”

“But, why?” Lance looked down at his hands. “I’m nothing special.”

Parts 1 / 2 / 3

[missjackil]

Miss Jacki’s Top 30 Favorite Episodes

#6

All Hell Breaks Loose pts 1&2

I believe these are landmark episodes for every SPN fan. Im going to treat this like one episode because it really seems like one single episode. 

A little back history, I came to this show late, it was already in S11 when I started binging fron the beginning. It was by the request of my friend, who had tod me a few times that she thought Id love the show, and I didnt believe her. fanatasy/horror/super hero shows are not my genre. I like dramas like NCIS and House MD but this? This is kid stuff.... not my thing. But I took her advice and watched. She made me promise to watch the first 2 seasons and if I still didnt like it by the end of S2, we could move on. So I did.  I didnt think seasons 1 and 2 sucked, I liked Sam Dean and John a lot but, the monsters, acting, and overall story was meh IMO. S2 was better, at least one or two more episodes from then made it to my top 30, but this one sealed my fate. I had heard a lot about this amazing, unmatchable chemistry these two had, but I wasnt really feeling the love. They fought constantly, Dean seemed too clingy and Sam seemed to not want to be with him much at all. and I wasnt really seeing this epic bromance I had been told about. And then All Hell Broke Loose! Sam mysteriosuly gets zapped away to demon camp, and Dean is desperate to find him. Sam’s side of the episode is very interesting, we are really seeing his leadership skills in action, and how he can be totally freaked out and not let it show. Jake, was such a good character, Im still upset he didnt stay around for a while, even as a bad guy. 

Of course, the most important part of these episodes is that Sam is killed, and Dean’s brokeness and despiration. Im very shocked at first that Sam actually dies. I had thought since the show was in its 11th season at the time, that Sam and Dean cant/don’t die ever, so I never really had much concern for their well being. I learned they could be beat to hell and next episode they’re shiney and pretty as new, and if they’re still on the air, they obviously cant die right? And in a sense its true that they cant die, or stay dead, they still somehow manage to make their deaths very traumatizing. I learned here, that its not so much that one brother died, its more about the reaction of the other. Sam and Dean never know its not final. We may know, but they dont. 

Jake and Sam have this big fight. Jake  is strong af but Sam manages to hold his own. This solidifies the notion I had, that even though Dean is the agressive one, and much faster to punch or kill, Sam Winchester is NOT a wimp. not a “damsel”. He is also strong af, a damn good fighter and has a very high pain threshold. He knocks the super charged “benched 800 lbs stone cold calm” Jake out cold. Almost kills him, but decides against it.... he wont make that mistake again eh? Walking away with apparently a broken shoulder, or arm, he hears Dean and sees him in the distance. DEAN!!! Sam smiles and releif washes over him, Dean isnt dead!! But right in front of Dean, Jake comes in from behind and stabs Sam in the back, and slices.... and severs Sams spinal cord WTF?? This scene is etched in every fans mind forever. Jensens acting here is nothing short of oscar worthy, but lets take a minute to appreciate Jared’s also. He doesnt have a speaking part right here, but he is truly portraying someone with a severed spinal cord. He falls to his knees to be imediately caught by Dean. He cant hold his head up, lift his arms, or even keep his eyes straight.He cant talk or even gasp for breath. Dean knows but is in complete denial. He’s gonna fix it, thats his job!! Take care of his pain in the ass little brother!! Deans shock and denial, along with his honest helpless greif, destroys me! The way he holds Sam and screams his name... and then burries his face in Sams hair and cries. I just cant! Next, we see that Dean has carried Sam’s body to an abandoned shack, and laid him on a mattress. Dean has laid Sams hands on his stomach like he’s resting. For a day or more, Im not sure, Dean stands there and stares at his dead little brother. He refuses to bury or burn him. Bobby doesnt want to leave him alone, he obviously cant handle this situation, but Dean has no shits to give. The person he loves most in the world is gone. Screw everything else.  Dean starts talking to dead Sam and this is heart wrenching. These 2 episodes change everything as far as their brotherly relationship goes. Its no longer just close, and deep its psychotic, irrational, dangerous, and the most beautiful thing ever! Dean doesnt know what to do. This is the absolute worst part of losing someone you love. The next step, what do you do? How can you even begin to try to continue to live?  Dean is beyond desperate. He goes and sells his soul to bring Sam back. And he doesnt get 10 years or even 5, he gets 1 year. 1 year and then he’s damned to eternal torment in hell. They cant try to break the contract or Sam dies again. A terrible trade off, but Dean takes it. When he sees Sam standing there in the room, alive, he gives him such a great hug!! This begins my obsession for brohugs!! Fast forward to the cemetery scene. A lot is going on here, Azazel is griefing them, Jake opens the hell gates (though the boys are blamed for this forever) Azazel asks Dean is Sam is REALLY the same old Sam?? We all wonder if Sam is ok when he stone cold shoots Jake repeatedly, with that one little blood drop on his face. Overall, Sam seems like Sam, but we at least know hes a little more killy now lol.  We get a bonus reunion with John, he touches Deans shoulder, gives him a tearfilled smile, and looks at Sam. For a long time, I was a little bit bitter that John didnt show any affection to Sam, but then I realized, or maybe its just a head canon, but John may have known that Dean sold his soul for Sam, and Joh was silently telling Dean he understood. John sold his soul for Dean, so he was like “The things we’ll do for love, right son?” John did some crappy things, but no one will ever convince me that he didnt love those boys with all his heart.  Sam figures out that Dean sold his soul for him, and hes pissed. But he finally comes out with what I needed to know for 2 seasons “Youre my brother... theres NOTHING I wouldnt do for you”. Yes... Sam is just as irrational, psychotic, and dangerously in love with Dean.And with that.... I was sold on SPN. I dont regularly go back to watch these episodes, but when I do, it still tears me up. Even moreso now that so much has happened because of it.  Sometimes, something big happens on the show and the negative people say that it makes this, or Deans trip to Hell, or Swan Song lose meaning, and it truly doesnt. It makes those things have more meaning. Everything that unfolded after those events up till now makes them more critical and adds the question “if they had known, would they still?” And knowing the answer would be “yes” just makes it all that much more brutally wonderful,  Now, go watch these episodes again, keeping in mind everything that transpired from it, and when Dean sobs at losing his little bro for the first time, allow your heart to break more for the big picture. 

[amaltheametalweld]

I'm glad someone else is going through an omfg Snowman phase. 🤣😂 My feelings for this man are so intense, and he doesn't even talk! He's 100% silent and uses sign language but he still manages to convey SO much attitude. Though it is clear that he can hear as he's given a headset like the rest of the bloodpack.

He has the option to use guns but sticks with his swords. And even after it's revealed how useless ANYTHING but uv light is on the reapers, this bold AF man literally goes into the reaper infested sewers without so much as a flashlight!!! Just his swords! He would have been great too if the guy watching his back hadn't forgotten the first rule of getting bitten by zombies is to not kill your friends when their back is turned.

I have headcannoned in the past that maybe he was taught to fight either in Japan or by a Japanese matial arts master even if he's Chinese. The vampires in the Blade movies seem to have a very multicultural approach which to me says maybe they move around to avoid the why isn't my neighbor aging at all issue. And their "great houses" are more about vampire lineage than ethnic lineage. So perhaps he grew up in a rich pureblood family that had him trained by an elite fighter who would obviously be a very strong influence on him as he grew up.

I assume Snowman is pureblood as the others seem to treat him the same despite Priest making a disparaging remark about killing the turned vampires in the club, and Reindheart making the jab at Blade over whether he was human enough to blush. (Which can also be read as doubly racist as Blade is a dark skinned black man as well as half human.) Plus the elite status of the group gives the impression that only the best would be allowed in and vampire society is repeatedly shown to favor lineage over everything. So to be in a group like that Snowman would have to be born into that life.

He's obviously got some neat traditional stuff with the samurai swords, but I love the more modern things he's picked up like the leather coat, eyeliner, and the short hair. I saw a still somewhere online with Snow wearing a mesh shirt which nearly killed me. The dude is definitely rocking the all black and the I'm a sword murderer only vibe.

Like the only complaint I have with his character is that they gave us so little before they took him away so brutally! I need a whole series where this man kills people like samurai John Wick except he has the whole bloodpack with him just getting dragged into the found murder family dynamic. The group is mostly comprised of assholes from hell who would literally kill you for touching another member of the pack (I literally thought Chupa was going to cry and commit crimes when Priest bit the dust). And tbh I need to see them all tripping over themselves to learn sign on the fly because oops they're on a mission and Snow who is new doesn't talk but he's the only one that knows what they're supposed to be doing.

HOW DID I NOT NOTICE SNOWMAN(DONNIE YEN) IN BLADE 2 BEFORE?!

Like, I was rewatching an old childhood vampire fave movie when I suddenly realized there was an Asian character there 

AND I JUST

WOAH MAMA

HOMAYGASH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!

I AM FUCKING DYING, DONNIE YEN WAS ONCE A SEXY FUCKING BLACK LEATHER WEARING AND BLACK EYELLINER WEARING SMEXY VAMPIRE IN 2002?!

LIKE JFC I KEPT SEARCHING FOR CRUMBS AND MORSELS OF SCENES OF HIM IN THIS MOVIE

LIKE OKAY YEAH, I GET IT THAT HIS CHARACTER COSTUME IS PRETTY FUCKING RACIST SINCE IT’S JAPANESE INSPIRED AND DONNIE FUCKING YEN IS OBVIOUSLY CHINESE BUT GOSH

LOOK AT THAT

HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD AND HIS ASS JFC, I DON’T THINK EVEN LESTAT FROM TVC IN THE QOTD MOVIE COULD COMPETE BITCH (sorry Stuart Townsend, I luv u but i apparently love Snowman more now lol)

AND GOSH AT HIS FIGHT SCENE!?

JFC WE STAN SNOWMAN BITCHES fbsjdbfsk

MOTHER FUCKER BEING A TAUNTING BITCH TO HIS ENEMY LIKE FAKKKK YAAASS BOIIII

AND LOOK AT THIS PICTURE ABOVE BITCHES HE IS SO CUTE SO DISCIPLINED SO WELL MANNERED IN HIS FIGHTING STYLE GOSH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

AND JFC LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SCENE

GIRL HIS ARMS HIS FUCKING ARMS BITCHES HOMAYGASH PRAISE JESUS HALLELUJIAH WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS?! I WAS TOO FUCKING YOUNG BEFORE TO PROPERLY APPRECIATE SNOWMAN

BBY BOI IS ALSO WEARING GREENISH-GOLD CONTACT LENSES GOD I LOVE THOSE DETAILS GOTTA FUCKING LOVE BLADE AND THEIR VAMPIRE EYE COLOURS BDSKJFBDSKJ

He was such a polite and nice boi/friend here, wanting to kill his friend to end his misery of becoming an abomination killing machine, luv u bby boi

MORE CRUMBS OF SCENES BUT THIS TIME SNOWMAN LOOKING LIEK HE BE WEARING A SKIRT ALL THANKS TO HIS GOD DAMN FUCKING COSTUME JFC I LOVE THIS

So handsome… FUCKED UP THAT HE’S ONLY IN THE BACKGROUND THO JFC

He’s just here to look pretty in the background tbh

THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS THO IS THAT SOME OF HIS SCENES ALSO SO MEME-ABLE OH MY GOSH

me trying to survive 2020

me vs 2020

IT IS A SHAME

A TOTAL FUCKING TRAVESTY THAT SNOWMAN DIED IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE. I AM ENRAGED.

I WAS A TOTALLY ILLEGAL CRIME AND IS UTMOST UNFORGIVABLE.

GIV ME BACK SNOWMAN AND GIVE HIM WHAT HE FUCING DESRVES Y’ALL BITCHES HOW DARE U KILL MY MAN MY BLACK LEATHER BLACK EYELINER WEARING SEXY VAMPIRE MAN sdjkvnkjdsnk

[the-real-d-sandman]

OK TLJ impressions, there be big spoilers below

I loved it and it seemed like everyone else at the theatre did too.  People were “ooing” and “ahhing” and I even heard a “holy shit”.  It was immensely enjoyable.  Visuals were spectacular, with the notable exception of some out of place aesthetics and forced CGI. That being said, because I liked the thing as a whole, Ima point out the things I didn’t like below.

I think there’s too much funny in it.  A little funny is good, but the first scene is just a joke, literally.  They turn Hux into a joke, he has no serious scene in the entire movie.  “He’s a clown now. Deal with it.” By extension, theyre turning the FO’s command structure into buffoons and have completely ruined the thing the Empire had with Tarkin and Piett and others, a sense of a cruel and ruthless machine of an empire that would be a force to be reckoned with even without a Sith ringer.

They also introduce Snoke, but than, unceremoniously kill him later on, and it leaves you thinking, “what? That’s it??” He was made to be the bigger bad, akin to the Emperor in the first movies, but really draws the short end of the stick in this.  They really want to focus on Kylo as the new Sith. We don’t even find out who snoke was. He’s just a nobody and a HUGE plot hole.  Where did this immensely powerful, if not slightly overconfident sith lord come from?

But I feel like Kylo’s all over the place now.  He’s meant to feel unstable, but a lot of his lines are just... Dry? I liked how they were making him out to be the Chaos of the Dark Side, what happens when you let anger and hate rule you fully, that with it comes extreme power, but you begin to lose yourself with it.  Now... you don’t really know what he wants.  He doesn’t feel like he wants power like Vader, or to rule like Sidious.  His biggest aspiration seems to be “be Rey’s best bud”, but he doesn’t seem like he’s trying very hard.

I’m hoping that he only told Rey that her parents were nobody as a lie.  I mean, it’s ok, I guess, that it sorta goes into what I think the last movie will be, that almost anyone can be a jedi, but it feels like a cop out, like they couldn’t think of a way to placate everyone so they just said “youre all wrong, there’s nothing there”

The new character is out of place.  I don’t even remember her name, honestly.  The actress did okay, but the character feels forced and it feels like if she’d been removed, the movie woulda flowed a bit better.  Also, she’s now a love interest and that feels horribly forced. (almost like they want to turn away all the Poe/Finn fans hmmmmmm??)

The casino planet scene felt bad. It literally felt like it was satirical, like it was from spaceballs (they even arrest them for ILLEGAL PARKING). They didn’t try hard enough to star wars-ify it, and it felt like they just CG’d some aliens into a real casino. It was there to try and flesh out the new character, but it failed to me.

The OTHER “new” character also felt like he didn’t belong. He shows up and is talked about in a way that makes it seem like we should get to know him and maybe like him, but, he’s just some douche who betrays them anyway.

Phasma shows up and she has a fight this time before being removed from the story unceremoniously again.  Will she return for a second time? Who fucking knows.

Yoda. Yoda. He shows up and its... not good. Maybe it would’ve been better if they used the puppet, but I don’t think so. He’s got 10 lines and they’re all bad. I think a better alternative would’ve been to bring in Ewan Mcgregor to be Obi-Wan.  It would’nt be as lore acceptable, but it would’ve made for a much better scene. Give Obi and Luke some actual human-like interaction before he evaporates from the story.

Speaking of evaporating. Luke dies in a weird way. I was confused by the whole “force-hologram” thing. Why? he jut died anyway.  I think a better thing would’ve been to have him come in in his old X-wing (which they TEASED US WITH) and have him die in the same way Ben died in A New Hope. Kylo cuts him down, turns and he’s just a robe.  That would’ve been much cooler. Also, the hologram thing takes the epicness away from the previous scene, where luke survives a withering barrage of laser fire.

BB-8 does too much, I think? He takes the piss out of the other characters, like he’s the only one who’s actually capable. He saves the day at least 3 more times than finn does.

Finn has a heroic suicide scene, but not really. They tease us with the heroic sacrifice, but it was outta nowhere anyway, and give us another heroic sacrifice from new girl, who than professes her love for finn before passing out and almost being deaded. Weak as hell.

Leia has a scene where she uses the force, which could’ve been dope AF, if not for the fact that it looks fucking terrible, like she’s being slowly pulled along a stiff zipline.  You can almost hear the pulleys in the background.

They introduce a character that you hate immediately, but than youre supposed to not hate her anymore, but they don’t give you enough time to sort out your feelings before she heroically sacrificed herself. Her costume is also badly out of place. It’s supposed to feel like she’s not a military type, but it turns out she’s basically Leia’s apprentice.  It’s confusing. She’s confusing.

You know what? I still left satisfied though. The visuals, with the exception of the above mentioned problems were spectacular.  Crait was spectacular. They utilized the openess of Star Wars possibilities to create an amazing back drop to remake the Hoth fight (although it doesn’t feel as tense and epic) which was beautiful. The lightspeed ship collision was PHENOMENAL. Someone behind me in the theater had an orgasm as it was happening. I almost cried because of how stunning it was.

From a character perspective, Luke’s development is great. It shows that, despite learning so much after the first movies, he was still naive, he was still just a boy, and he was still scared of the force and what it did to his father, that, despite being such a legendary jedi, he wasn’t himself prepared to see all the force was and could be and could do to people.

My favorite scene and what got me choked up was actually the Scene where the Falcon is leading the tie fighter thru a chasm on Crait. Just, you hear that familiar music, and it brings you back and it’s amazingly timed.

[gingerftmnerd]

Characters (Pt.1)

So I have a lot of story arches and details jumbled in my mind for my Hermes graphic novel idea thingy, but it’s so hard to get it written down properly, let alone have it be 85% dialogue and work?  I’ve had writers block but I have many things to say about the individual characters themselves, I.e all of them occasionally break the 4th wall throughout. Hermes:

Looks - Medium short dark purple curly hair - icy blue eyes - tattooed all over - Goes back and forth from colourful yet gothic styles in attire to casual nerd chic (likes to wear his plaid onesie at home) - Full and big hipster beard (also purple) Personality - Flirtatious - Queer AF - Has a history of depression, anxiety and PTSD from the Titan wars - Always expresses himself and is honest about what he’s thinking,                    even if it ends up insulting someone - Is a cat person - Loves to sing - Has a thing for curves in men and women (but still likes muscles and such as well, just doesn’t make him drool as much) - Sarcasm is a second language - Usually the first to point out dumb ideas/plans - Takes his job seriously even though he doesn’t come across as such  - Is a switch but loves to Power Bottom   Occupation - Messenger of the gods and guider of souls to the afterlife and so on - Co-Owns a burlesque variety show in an old opera house in Paris with Aphrodite Extra Facts: - Owns 3 cats that happen to be the fates trapped in feline form - Is the only person who knows where the Golden Fleece is currently - Face times with Pan a lot            Ares: Looks - Silver Daddy vibes - Scars strewn along his body - Amber coloured eyes - White short tossled hair  - Always clean shaven - Likes to wear shirts with puns and Dad jokes on them under his array of          leather jackets (one for each day of the week) Personality - Jumpy at anything that sounds like gun fire or swords clashing, etc - Would never fight an unarmed individual - Secretly loves Beyonce - Can’t talk to women to save his life - Reads romance novels - Short tempered (but is working on changing that) - Puts anyone who works out with him through hell - Chokes people first asks questions later - Has fatherly instincts (sometimes) Extra Facts :

- Has a dog named Brutus (breed tbd) - Owns a lot of motorcycles and muscle cars and essentially lives like a gay sugar daddy - Has a daughter no one knows about Zeus: Looks - Always in his armored form  - Pink coloured eyes - Braided Grey hair and long beard - Lightening scar patterns over the course of his body - Doesn’t believe in too many rings on his fingers - Only takes his crown off for showers and sleep Personality  - Dramatic - Treated Hera like the Queen that she is (before her disappearance) - Blasts Folk Metal to help him feel better - Mopey/Broody - Bit of a dick 90% of the time - Peeping tom from Olympus on more than one occasion - Knows he is a minor character  - Loves to guilt trip  - Recovering addict from dark magic Extra Facts : - Sleeps with a plush Pegasus - Air guitars in private (and he’s pretty good at it) Aphrodite (new one, old one is happily retired long before the start of the story) : Looks - Flowing chocolate brown hair down to her knees (has it in different styles; Padme Amidalla inspo) - Eye colour changes frequently - Usually in some form of lingerie or kimono - Power woman suits during business meetings - Curvy/Voluptuous   - (Latina or black mixed race) Personality - Sex positive - Embraces all bodies and it shows - First person to a cycles class and to free doughnut day at Krispy Kream - Will squeeze anything too cute to handle (includes humans) - Loves to Cosplay (and roleplay) - Rape survivor - Breast cancer survivor - Loves gardening  - Will beat you at almost any fighter versus video game - Won’t hesitate to cut a b**** if needed; lover and a fighter Extra Facts  : - Afraid to fall in love - Finds Eros irritating (original son of OG Aphro) - Keeps a magic diary More parts to come but didn’t want to make this too big of a post.

[renaramblesaboutcomics]

Wednesday Roundup 25.9.2017

Okay, so I had another huge comic week, and looking forward this might be the last time that really happens for a while since at least three of these issues are here due to previous delays. and I’m trying pretty desperately to cut down on comics I’m subscribed to now. Which just emphasizes the fact that this week made it SO much more difficult to declare that because there was so much good.

... There was also some hilarious outrage on my part, too, so if you’re here for that you will not be disappointed.

Image’s Black Magick, DC’s Detective Comics, DC’s Harley Quinn and Batman, Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists, Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, DC’s Nightwing, Image’s Saga, IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Dark Horse’s Zodiac Starfore: Cries of the Fire Prince

Image’s Black Magick (2015-present) #8 Greg Rucka, Nicola Scott

Have I mentioned lately how Nicola Scott may be the most gifted artist in the industry in a while? Not since last month? Well we are definitely well past due time!

Story: Things are ramping up as the Hammer’s members increase their numbers and keep close watch on Rowan while Rowan settles things with her partner only to be manipulated once again by the terrifying forces of these unknown entities with that creepy AF girl with the stitched up mouth. That is a lot of stuff being unpacked in one issue and yet the moving parts never feel like they’re incongruent or taking away from each other. Seeing Rowan’s familiar watching the Hammer members, seeing Rowan struggle to be more open with her partner, and then seeing her old demons (literally) beginning to come to her work and haunt her there (literally and figuratively) all feels like it moves perfectly together.

I just really wish we didn’t have to do a “gay scare” which is a bit disappointing from Rucka, honestly. Haha get it Rowan was worried that her partner was onto her for being a witch and he just was mad because he thought she wasn’t coming out to him and it’s just all a good laugh. Or at least I would be laughing if either Alex or Rowan were confirmed queer women and so it isn’t just that he’s well meaning but oblivious while... literally taking away the possibility of representation. 

Maybe this will be corrected later in that very way! Who knows, I’ll be relieved if it is, but until then it feels like an unnecessary marring of what is otherwise a great story I’ve been enjoying.

Art:  I mean... just look at it! Nicola Scott is... arguably the best artist in comics right now. Her work is phenomenal and nothing presents that fact more than just how expertly she manages the medium in almost any way and how it adapts based on the type of story she’s writing. It’s very special for an artist’s style to work as well in a bombastic, colorful superhero comic then turn around and hit the perfect contrast of noir and witchcraft narratives. And all of her characters are distinct and especially her variety of noses, it’s simply gorgeous.

Nicola Scott very well may be the best artist in the business right now and any comic company that doesn’t snatch her up for major titles is foolish, honestly.  

DC’s Detective Comics (2016-present) #965 James Tynion IV, Eddy Barrows, Eber Ferreira, Adriano Lucas

Well, it’s weird to say but if there was any issue for me to read before I took a short break from ‘Tec I am so glad it was this one. Which has all the makings of a backhanded compliment but we’ll see where I take it. Probably will seem like a backhanded compliment but I’m going to try to swing it toward positive.

Story: So I’ve been pretty sure I was going to drop ‘Tec for the upcoming storyline and then jump on again later for the next one, similar to how I did for the Monster Men crossover event, but I was really curious about Tim’s return and more specifically about the context of Tynion bringing Tim back which made me pretty excited for this comic. I love Tim Drake of old and reading this issue reinforced the fact that this current Tim Drake is the Tim of the 90s that I fell in love with -- the dork who loved Batman and Robin so much he put his life at risk to save the legacy of his heroes. And while this issue culminated mostly in a “slideshow” of Tim’s retconned retconned history bringing us back to the Tim origins from “A Lonely Place of Dying”, it actually felt really loving and refreshing to see the character I grew to love so much back in action. 

I don’t care one bit about this Evil Future or Mister Oz or literally anything else going on right now. In fact I find that whole crossover tedious enough I dropped Superman a while back but I really did feel like I needed this reminder that we’re supposed to be reading this Rebirth Tim as the Tim we knew and cared about in the past. And that made this issue on its own worthwhile to me. 

Art: Eddy Barrows is an excellent artist, through and through. The coloring’s fantastic, the art itself dynamic. Even with a familiar storyline and setup that we’ve all read before, he manages to find ways to make it read as unique and new through subversive angles and set ups. I really enjoyed his take on everything from Tim’s past. But even great artists sometimes fail the Batmanequin challenge. Which is, can anyone tell who the Batboys are apart from each other when they’re all the same age. The answer is no. His Tim looks identical to his Bruce to his Jason to his Dick and most of the time to his Damian and we’ve really got to change that at some point or else there will be a singularity of Batboys and we will all be sucked into an artistic blackhole and not in the fun way.

DC’s Harley Quinn and Batman (2017) #4 Ty Templeton, Rick Burchett

After this issue there’s only one issue left and in all honesty.... it’s about time we had some real emotional direction actually driving this comic because I’ve been asking for the last few issues “where is any of this going”. And since I all but refuse to watch the animated movie sharing a similar name, it’s that much more confusing for me trying to figure out what exactly this is all culminating in. 

Story: Like I said, we’re finally getting some real tension in this issue as we have Harley confronting Ivy, it becoming more and more obvious that Ivy has a genuine problem with rejecting her own humanity for the sake of becoming as much of a plant as possible, and we also get that emotional catharsis of Ivy at least somewhat confessing that Harley is the only person she cares about. And it’s obviously a deep and intimate form of caring. She’s pained by the potential of Harley’s rejection and offended at the assumption that Harley would think of herself as anything less than her partner. But this comic, like all of comic canon, just refuses to give us THE WORDS. I’m so tired of partner being emphasized instead of girlfriend. I’m tired of cared being acceptable substitution for love. And I’m REALLY tired of Harley and Ivy only being portrayed as sexy and into each other in a way that’s meant to be attractive to guys. I’m not a guy. I’m a woman who likes other women. And I would like for this relationship, if it’s to be real on any level, be treated respectfully and given canonicity. Maybe we’ll get that next issue. I’m hoping, but since next issue is the last I’m not exactly expecting much. 

Dick and Bruce are... still fun? I guess. It’s not really their story and I’m not sure why Batman’s even in the title at this point. His addition to this story culminates in a “not really”

Art: I gave Rick Burchett’s first two issues a hard time, especially compared to the guest artist for last issue, but this issue really had him stepping up his game and reminding us all why he’s been working with these characters and especially this style for the past twenty or more years. He really nails it... though it still has that edge of lacking refinement that we might see in something other than a digital first comic, the colors are really enhanced, the character and background art more detailed and controlled, and just overall this was a very pleasant looking and well laid out issue. Great work all around

Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists (2017) #5 (of 6) Kaare Andrews, Afu Chan, Shelly Chen

We’re beginning to near an ending for this miniseries and I am growing an ominous, horrible feeling that I am desperately hoping is completely off base and unfounded outside of my constant apprehension of trusting comics too much. But we’ll get into that.

Story: As we left off last time, it was the culmination of all the storylines that we had seen building up in Immortal Iron Fists before then, Pei and her friends, the popularity drama that was the school dance, Danny’s feelings of responsibility and pride, the ten scrolls of Mara, and the strangely backward advice of the babysitter that Pei had been receiving throughout. And it all came down to a climactic battle with Danny and Pei finally at long last fighting side by side, both as the Immortal Iron Fist.

But suddenly there can only be.... one? And to save the world and inherit her responsibility as the Immortal Iron Fist, Pei had to choose whether or not she would take the dragon’s heart straight from Danny himself and use his chi to defeat Mara and his legion of demons. Which, of course, Pei refused and chose instead to sacrifice her own chi so that Danny could save the world.

This apparently erased Pei from reality and everyone’s memories in one solid swipe and sent her... to hell?? Where Brenda, who was in the storyline that brought Pei into the comics but has not been a factor through all of this miniseries, is a zombie champion fighter who saves Pei and her classmate that’s been in the coma because Mara was planning to use his body for his resurrection and also the popular girl, Danny’s girlfriend for an issue, an the babysitter are all daughters of Mara who are responsible for all this chaos. 

And I genuinely feel like there’s been a lot of missed opportunities in the previous four issues that would have allowed this to be set up more. And that’s what is leading to the worries I mentioned in the opening. As far as I’ve seen, in Defenders or the solicits for Immortal Iron Fist, Pei has not been allowed to make much of an impact outside of Andrews’ runs. And.... I would really hate that a series that has sold e SO hard on Pei and on a new spin on Danny Rand to be a series that gives Marvel an easy out to erase those very things. 

We have one issue left to go so I suppose we’ll have to wait and see in that regard.

Art: It’s still good art, still all-ages, but I’m starting to grow the opinion thanks to @secretlystephaniebrown and mine’s insightful talks that comis with cute art and lots of slapstick are pretty much utilizing a certain style to undermine dramatic writing or consequences in fear of being genuine. Or, in terms, bathos. And I really hope that’s not the intentions here because the relationship between Danny and Pei are genuinely sweet and good and if that’s the intention I really hate that comics don’t have the confidence to be dramatic fully in heart. 

Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (2015-present) #23 Brandon Montclare, Natacha Bustos, Tamra Bonvillain

I’m worried about my favorite adorable team of superheroes. How can there be a Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur if there is no Devil Dinosaur? But also... is this the inevitable end? Are there not more adventures to come of our favorite world class genius and dinosaur? According to solicits there’s more for Lunella but is there more for the friendship that warmed our hearts? Are any of us truly ready to say goodbye?

Story: Legitimately I have no idea what’s going to happen next with this comic because it seems like Lunella is sidekick hunting for the next couple of issues, so the real question is how ready did this issue make us to move on from the loving friendship between a girl from Yancey Street and her bumbling dinosaur? Honestly, compared to the majority of the tight and loving writing of this series, it doesn’t feel like this conclusion was something we were very well prepared for. Sure, Moon Boy and Devil Dinosaur are something we know of vaguely from other comics, but the anticlimax of the goodbye, and just how obvious it was that neither Lunella nor Devil were ready for it made the profound loneliness of this move feel so dissatisfying. Especially when Lunella returns to a doombot empty base instead of going home and emphasizes the strangeness even more. 

I’m hopeful that this is set up, but I’m always on high alert for books like this that could easily be canceled by Marvel and worried about ending on a note I really wouldn’t want it to.

Art: As always, the art for this book is gorgeous and the coloring is fascinating and eye popping. The cooler hues this time around really helped with the more subdued and sadder tone of the comic which made the actions toward the end not only more disconcerting but plainly just more heartbreaking. It was an excellent choice and incredibly subtle but effective. This is a creative team that truly understands their crafts more than the vast majority of people in the industry today, and that’s saying something since quality is not exactly in short supply in recent years. 

DC’s Nightwing (2016-present) Vol. 3: Nightwing Must Die Tim Seeley, Javier Fernandez, Chris Sotomayor

So I don’t.... really have any surprises in the works for those of you who follow my main blog at @renaroo who got to witness me liveblogging my experience reading this comic yesterday, but I’ll just put it definitively on the record here: Uh. Not a good effort here, guys. And this is officially the last thing written by Tim Seeley this gal is going to be picking up. Which I’m getting really tired of saying about writers who handle either one of my main two DC dudes -- Dick or Terry. Can we just... have anyone... care a little more? A bit?

Story: Okay so there’s about three plots going on at the same time during this comic and I’m going to address them in the three and then talk about the One Issue That Doesn’t Fit after. So four parts: The Robin Story, The Baby Story, and The Batman Story, and then The Good One. The way the plot is laid out you could argue that these three are interwoven enough to deserve going in a linear basis but I would argue no not really. Please take note that the title of this storyline according to the trade cover is “Nightwing Must Die”, a callback to the climax of Morrison’s run on the original Batman and Robin (2009-2011) series titled “Batman and Robin Must Die”. No, I’m not nerdy and observant, this thing is determined to hit you over the head with this allusion at every turn. 

The Robin Story: Damian who has basically been forcefully emancipated from Bruce and sent to live across the country with the Teen Titans rather than ... idk just be sent to Gotham Academy which is a boarding school anyway, is pissed because internet forums have declared that the original Robin -- aka Dick -- is the best Robin and Damian sucks. Why Damian suddenly cares about 4Chan is beyond me but here we are. Now, despite there being an overly long and obnoxious storyline in Batman and Robin (2011-2015) called “War of the Robins” where Damian already went through this and beat up all his predecessors sans Dick because they have an actual relationship, or the entirety of “Robin: Son of Batman”, or the huge storyline “Robin Wars” where there were 30 Robins including Duke Thomas all over Gotham and something I didn’t pay attention to about the Court of Owls and Lincoln March -- this is a useless subplot that makes no sense for the characters or relationship that has already been established by Damian and Dick here. That’s what I’m saying. 

Because this story isn’t interested in getting Damian right or doing him any service. This is dedicated to Dick in... about the worst way. And the weak motivation for getting Damian in Blüdhaven in order to reinact the events of “Batman and Robin Must Die” are so contrived that there’s really this feeling of “we need Damian in Blüdhaven come up with an excuse later” instead of it being something organic. For example: Damian is quick to bring up his concerns that Dick staying in Blüdhaven and starting a new life with Shawn is because he’s trying to become Batman of his “own franchise” and that he’s abandoning the rest of the family. This is really disconnected from the motivation of “who’s the best Robin” and would make more sense on a character level if Damian went to Blüdhaven of his own volition because of that concern to begin with. He feels pushed out of the family, and with Tim’s death he’s upset and surprised by Dick’s seeming abandonment of everyone else. Including him. The Robin with THE most abandonment issues this side of Jason Todd. Why not bring up something along the lines of “you haven’t been home since the funeral”. That would contrast the themes of family, Dick and Damian’s relationship, and Dick’s supposed worries about personal responsibility all at once. 

This isn’t how that was handled and I am suspicious as to why. because we had to have that awful, ugly -- for me personally inexcusable -- panel where Dick tells Damian that he knows no one can balance being a superhero and having a secondary identity because Bruce sucks at it SO BAD that he now has the “burden” of being a father to a bunch of Batkids which he follows up with “And the one I think suffers the most from this is you, Damian. His only real son.” 

So. You know. Fuck themes about nonconventional families and adoption I guess. Tim Seeley, go kick your own ass because you don’t even deserve the ass kicking from me.

It might seem like I’m being harsh but this one moment is SO hugely stupid and never brought up again or refuted later to the point that not only is it gross on a real world level, it actually REALLY weakens the theme of families and the such through the rest of the story specifically because there’s now this big ugly turd of a plot thread looming and never dealt with. 

Professor Pyg and Doctor Hurt are back from Dick and Damian’s time as Batman and Robin and theyve made a bunch of disgusting Dollatrons specifically of Damian and Dick, or Robintron and Deathwing. This actually matters a lot less to the story than you might actually think because Robintron and Deathwing don’t have a relationship outside of being made to believe they’re Robin and Nightwing and one ultimately kills the other once they remember this. It’s symbolic because the Robintron was in Dick’s original Robin suit and Deathwing was in the New52 Nightwing suit do you get it do you get it do you get what they’re trying to say here it’s clever. Anyway. 

The symbolism on a meta level is pretty on the nose “The New52 Dick killed the innocence of the old timey Golden Age Dick la da da” but in story we don’t really have Damian go through an arc or actually develop as a result of this matter and neither does Dick. Does Dick feel like his identity as Nightwing has killed his relationship with Damian? With his other family? With his idealistic self? It doesn’t... seem like it. Dick just kind of... punches Doctor Hurt after he decides that tragedy doesn’t define him... or something. It was from the hallucinations and like a whole issue later from Deathwing killing Robintron. And then Deathwing and Doctor Hurt kill each other by stabbing and falling rocks. Both ways in which villains have NEEEVVVEEERRRRR returned from the dead from before so I’m sure they’re gone forever.

So the Robin Storyline as a whole? it kinda comes to a conclusion with a genuinely nice two page spread where Dick and Damian talk about missing each other and missing their time as Batman and Robin. Dick even confesses something that would have brought all these storylines together rather nicely if it was done correctly: when Bruce came back to be Batman, Dick thought of staying as Batman, too in order to stay with Damian and train and raise him. But ultimately he thought, at the time, that he wasn’t old enough or ready enough to take that responsibility. 

Dick was not ready to be a father but now he looks back at himself and who he is now and is ready for another go, with Damian or with his own children in the future. ... EXCEPT that reading of how the themes would play out are completely undermined and broken beyond repair by having Dick say that UNBELIEVABLE comment about how Damian is the only REAL son to Bruce and that the “Batfamily” aren’t a unit like that. Therefore the Robin Storyline doesn’t really have a conclusion. 

Damian’s going to go back to San Francisco and still get pissed at /b/, there’s no family unit for anyone to reflect on, and.... the baby storyline:

The Baby Storyline: I could sum this up with one gif. I really could. I’m not going to but because I know this is only entertaining to hear me yell for an extent, have the gif anyway:

Now I’ll go into what actually bothered me about this storyline. Because this is tied to Dick’s relationship with Shawn and their pregnancy scare alone, and we see Dick freaking out at the possibility of the immense responsibility he may be stepping into, it actually genuinely had the potential to be a huge deal, a big game changer, something that actually would have developed both their characters and really questioned what they would be doing going forward with their lives. Would they both give up their costume lives? Would they move from Blüdhaven if they’re not defending the streets and it’s a terrible part of town? Would the baby have superheroes in its life from an early age?

It doesn’t matter because in what could probably be the weakest fake out ever, Shawn’s not pregnant she’s just... apparently not as regular as she once assumed. Which, hey, I hear that that happens fairly often for my fellow uterus havers and you know what? They’re young adults in their first serious relationship so I actually get the freakout from both of them. 

But it doesn’t end up meaning anything other than Dick screams at Damian a few times that they have to save his “girlfriend AND baby” and for some reason Damian just goes with it because Damian of course has never before in his life ever shown signs of jealousy and concerns about conditional love. 

The biggest problem beyond the fact that this plot’s resolution is a huge PSYCH spitting in everyone’s face is that... what... was the tie-in here? 

Was it JUST the drama of “PHEWWWW dodged that bullet, now let’s go give Sandy a makeover”? I guess so. 

Because if this was actually tied to the plots of the storyline it would have ended with at least one speech from Dick to Shawn, to his monologue, or to Damian that back when he returned to being Nightwing because he feared being too young and to unprepared to take responsibility for raising Damian, he had been wrong. He’s not ready because no one is, but he has a relationship with Damian that proves that he’s more than ready to be a father then and now. That he might not do it Bruce’s way because he didn’t like Bruce’s priorities, but he would find a way to balance all the aspects of his life and so can Shawn.

But that would require this story to... care about Shawn’s character more. 

I actually like Shawn? I want to see more of her and I think there’s a lot of potential there, but at the end of this story outside of genuinely good moments, like the time with her and Deathwing where she tries to soothe him, she’s... just a damsel to be rescued? Just a possible babymomma for tension?

If she was more than that, then the plot would have given her more to do once she joined Dick and Damian. Like even ONE scene of her and Damian playing off of each other in the aftermath would have done wonders, made her more than just an attachment for the advancement of Dick’s character, but we get more development for Deathwing and Robintron than for the potential love of Dick’s life.

Kidding. DC would never let Babs and Dick have actual meaningful romances outside of each other anymore. Just like DC will never let them have meaningful romances with each other!

So this was a trip into a cul de sac of disappointment. 

Also condoms condoms condoms condoms condoms boys and girls. Wrap it before you tap it. 

Or be a lesbian. But that’s my answer for everything.

#Shawn Tsang deserves better #Hollatchagirl

The Batman Story: Oh, Bruce. How your shadow lingers large over all things that have nothing to do with you. 

This is the “actual” plot. The one about Shawn being kidnapped and it all ending up being a plot by Professor Pyg and Doctor Hurt to relive the “Batman and Robin Must Die” storyline because....

Well. That’s the problem.

Doctor Hurt, as much as I really wasn’t a fan of that storyline under Morrison, served a very specific purpose. He was the antithesis to Dick when it came to Bruce’s legacy. Dick was his ward but also Bruce’s light and when he ascended to becoming Batman he took most of that with him and grew into the cape, so to speak. He embodied the detective work that Bruce taught him (finding the clues in the mantle that found the secret door), he embodied the friendship (taking his place as Batman on several superhero teams), and most importantly he embodied the head of the family. Alfred gave him advice, but Dick kept the Batfamily together as best he could, specifically by raising Damian as Bruce had raised him. And none of it was easy. 

Doctor Hurt worked as a villain to Dick’s Batman because he embodied the worst of Bruce’s darkness. The strange and forgotten stories of the past, the psychological horror, the devilish iconography. Those things that were Gritty McBadBat about Bruce were never things that Dick was going to embody as Batman. And that’s why Doctor Hurt and him battled, basically over the heart of Damian: Robin, the partner, the son, the future of the cowl. 

I didn’t like “Batman and Robin Must Die” because rather than have a huge statement about choosing the direction for Batman’s future by having Dick battle and defeat Doctor Hurt and his continuity drag, Morrison literally deus ex machina’d by having Bruce travel back through time and save Dick and Damian and basically take control immediately. It was such an anticlimax to both Dick and Damian’s arc even though Morrison tried to play it off as being the culmination of Dick and Damian and everyone else looking for Bruce plus Bruce’s “Return of Bruce Wayne” storyline. It’s messy and just feels like “whatever” at the end. 

I don’t like it here because .... Dick’s not Batman. He and Damian aren’t partners. Neither of those things have been factors for either of those characters for six years now and, I hate to break it to everyone here, but at least one of them was “dead” for at least three of those years anyway. 

Doctor Hurt is a Dick Grayson villain, but he is not a Nightwing villain. And the attempt to make him one here fell incredibly flat. 

Also why was Professor Pyg there? Does Professor Pyg now know Dick and Damian’s secret identities too? Was that throw away line about him building dollatrons for Hurt meant to tell us that no only Hurt knows the identities? How is that much better? Why does everyone know Dick’s identity and he doesn’t care? Why doesn’t Damian care that the random Robintron knows his full name and who his father is? Why doesn’t Dick? If only Hurt knows then how did Pyg brainwash Robintron and Deathwing? If Pyg didn’t why did Hurt need Pyg to brainwash them for this since he apparently already knows how?

This story basically sacrificed all logic within the story itself to tie-in Dick’s time as Batman, which he doesn’t want to go back to and isn’t  even tempted to go back to throughout the story, purely to justify having the Bat as part of the cover logo still. That’s it. 

The Good One: There’s a one shot at the very end of this volume, #21, that’s definitely filler in between storylines but is actually the best thing in this entire volume. Probably the best of this run of Nightwing I’ve read and... apparently will ever read since I’ve paid my penance and given Seeley’s turn a chance. It’s a classic team up between Dick and Wally with a pretty inventive villain named “Timebomb”. It’s funny, has a lot of heart, the coloring isn’t muted garbage, and it features some high stakes without losing its sense of fun. It’s a good issue. I would actually implore fans of Dick and Wally to pick it up. It does a great service to their friendship.

Art: The art is good, the entire “Nightwing Must Die” part was colored in this muted, pasty way that basically made all backgrounds feel like they weren’t a part of the scenes and made all humans look dead or undead as it were to the point that Dick and Damian -- both canonically characters of color and occasionally colored to match it -- have the same pallor of the rotting corpse faces sewn onto Robintron and Deathwing.

The exception is the blue used for Nightwing’s costume and gear and for Shawn’s hair because.... idk. I guess we’re supposed to guess that they’re important to the comic or something. 

No seriously, I love the art but they have to buy some more markers. I appreciate that you can only do so much when supplies are low but c’mon.

It’s a joke I know it’s a style choice I just don’t like the style.

But I emphasize again, the art is good. I just personally would go for the last issue’s coloring more than the main storyline’s. 

Image’s Saga (2012-present) #47 Fiona Staples, Brian K. Vaughn

The real question comes to be... will Saga ever have a truly bad issue? I doubt it. Like at this point I’m not really sure what a bad Saga issue would even look like, but I think there’s absolutely no doubt that mediocre issues or issues that were more build up for what is to come can exist. Again, I give backhanded compliments here but I mean them... in the best way possible? Never mind, these cold opens are hard.

Story: We don’t progress too awfully much in this issue. The Will is captured by a vengeful victim’s wife who means to torture him by making him suffer and forcing him to see the very people he loves die.... until money gets involved and suddenly like everyone else she wants to capture Hazel and company to make the big starbucks. But, strangely for Saga, for the first time in this series we really don’t.... go anywhere with this issue outside of what’s taking place with the Will’s torture. There’s no scenes exploring what’s going on with the other groups, there’s no narration from future Hazel, we’re left with the Will, his past we haven’t seen yet, and his current circumstances. 

Now this could make sense, the jumping around Will’s past is in place of jumping around the stars, and how could Hazel ever know what’s happening to the Will here, but it just all feels like a departure from the near omnipotence of Saga’s story before. And mostly it just feels like a setup for explaining how we get all the characters gathered for the next part of the story. And that’s.... not as cool as it could be. 

It’s definitely a weaker entry for Saga overall, but that’s like saying a TV show with 100 episodes may have some that aren’t perfect.

Art: Fiona Staples’ art continues to be the star of the series, but perhaps because of the restraints of the setup, this isn’t the most visually creative or wildest design ideas she’s had in this series. The reveal of the shrew woman’s face felt.... anticlimactic compared to some of the truly out there examples of aliens unlike anything I’ve ever imagined before and it made the pause for the joke “my husband was nearly as beautiful as me” feel like... “have you seen what some of the other alien species look like????”

Likewise the backgrounds of both the flashbacks and of the room Will’s tortured in are not as wild as we’ve seen before, but I have to say the creative idea of the floating prism in space kind of makes up for it because that was creative and visually awing. Again, much like the story itself, the art only suffers because in comparison to the rest of Saga I’m only kind of blown away and not totally blown away. 

IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2011-present) #74 Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz, Cory Smith, Ronda Pattison

Man we are just in the forest for transitions in storylines right now. Nothing is bad but nothing is standing out and I was expecting much the same with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles considering that we’re on Part II of the Trial of Kraang, but you know, it wouldn’t be TMNT if they weren’t continuing to surprise me.

Story: So this is a court drama because if there’s one thing that TMNT is dedicated to it is DOING ALL OF THE THINGS and apparently court drama hadn’t been checkmarked yet so here we are. And as someone who really genuinely likes the minutia of continuity and rules and regulations of different worlds and the way laws work in different universes, I found things fairly compelling. Not the least of which because of the smart use of characters and how they fit into their roles -- especially Donny and Professor Honeycutt both working as the prosecution. Don, after all, is the sci-fi heart of TMNT and him being in the thick of this as Kraang is the most “his” of their roster of villains makes perfect sense.

We mostly hit the same beats you’d expect from a court drama -- an unfavorable judge, slimy defense attorney making things hard for our prosecutors, the prosecutors pull a surprise key witness, and all in the background we have the unraveling of victims and friends trying to deal with the uncertainty of the situation while also.... fighting an interdimensional alien war. Hm. Okay so that last part is pure TMNT shenanigans but the drama of the story is really structured and punctual.

Which.... basically means that this issue is something like 80% dialogue with little tiny bits of action to give the other three turtles and their friends something to do while Don and Honeycutt hold down the fort. And if you’re prepared for that going in, you’ll probably find the case as interesting and the way facts are being retold and manipulated fascinating, but if you’re not then it’s probably going to be a bit of a slog compared to the ninja action you’re usually used to.

Art: TMNT’s art is always so shockingly good that it’s hard to comment on anymore. I really like how varied and interesting alien designs are with people not afraid to be gross by “human standards” when making things. And I like that the turtles manage to be simple so that they stand out in every setting without feeling out of place, and still have enough variation and ranges of emotions that there’s no confusing them with each other when the masks are off. It’s very good art and that should always be applauded. 

Dark Horse’s Zodiac Starforce: Cries of the Fire Prince (2017) #2 Kevin Panetta, Paulina Ganucheau, Sarah Stern

I have been on the edge of my seet for a few months now, waiting for news on when the next Zodiac Starforce was going to be coming out and, at long last, the answer came. It was today! And there was much rejoicing. From me. Because I’ve absolutely fallen for this team book.

Story: We learn more about the titular Fire Prince and honestly that’s where a lot of my apprehensions come into play. In the original comic series, the Starforce was comedic at times but its drama was never undercut by it. Relationships were taken seriously and the threat to the girls was certainly serious, particularly from their own goddess and from Cimmeria. So when the first half of this issue was spent with the Fire Prince and making his powers known but also having him laughably dance around and prove to be a bit of a sadsack and not even comparable to the last threat of Cimmeria -- having been imprisoned and shamed by her himself -- it was a little worrisome. The threat after a huge battle like last time shouldn’t really be followed up by something we’re directly told is lesser. And that fed right into the lesser fights too, with Savannah undercutting Alice’s threat by having to make a joke of why they were fighting and remind her of the fact that she even was a threat to the Starforce to begin with. I know I’m throwing this word around a lot lately but it feels like bathos -- like fearing the sincerity of the drama so going for a joke instead. And that wasn’t something I really remember happening in the previous volume.

That all said, the one thing always played straight and the risk that is never dampened is honestly the one that remains the most important overall, and that’s the relationships between the girls themselves. Lily and Savannah’s romance and Savannah’s obviously very supportive mother, Molly and Emma’s close friendship, everyone’s concern for Kim -- it’s all great stuff and taken seriously throughout which is why I still have a lot of hope and expectations for this series. It’s just so nice to see a book that’s so supportive and intent on emphasizing the importance of female relationships.

Art: The art for Zodiac Starforce is beautiful and popping, but it also has a very serious control of its style so as to not be cartoonish beyond the point of feeling the danger or concern for things within the story. Even so, there were a few things that felt off model this time around. It’s mostly nitpicking, but there was something different about the way Emma’s hair was drawn, specifically when she was Gemini, and there were a few times where Alice and her goons seemed to look very different from how I remembered them. but overall I can’t emphasize enough that it’s a beautiful book and really does capture the feeling of being a Western Magical Girl team story. 

There was a lot of good this week in a lot of different ways but when I think of what I enjoyed the most I have to absolutely give it to Black Magick. This book captures a unique style and tone of two things I sincerely love -- noir and witchcraft -- and is really doing something special with them in the modern age. And those are the kind of daring choices -- much like doing a mostly black-and-white comic when almost all comics stick to high definition coloring -- that really capture my attention and help any book stand out in a given week. So that absolutely must be my Pick of the Week, even with some of my harsher criticisms sent its way.

And, once more, I am in a bit of a financial crunch for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which being the medical bills I’m paying for my dog, Eve, who experienced a catastrophic dog fight and underwent surgery recently. On top of that, I have exactly a month and a half to pack up everything I own and move halfway across the country again which is not helping those financial crunches I mentioned before either.

As such, I really would appreciate if you enjoy my content or are interested in helping me out, please check out either my Patreon or PayPal. Every bit helps and I couldn’t thank you enough for enjoying and supporting my content.

You could also support me by going to my main blog, @renaroo, where I’ll soon be listing prices and more for art and writing commissions.

RenaRoo Ko-Fi

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[michaellynannragan]

Especially a fake evil, jealous, angry, bitter, and overly possessive ex-wife hell bent on making her ex-husband suffer like she claims he made her suffer when he divorced her. I see right through your fake evil mean girl Barbie bitch ass. You're a shitty fucking actress and not even funny as a comedian either. I'm not fucking laughing at all of the bullshit that you've put me through. I'm not going to even mention the bullshit that you put your ex-husband and your very own daughter through. Now that's very fucking low, sick, and evil AF if you ask me. You're not all love and light and good vibes at all! Using black magic and black magic practitioners to keep your ex-husband and I apart, because you know that he's 100% in love with me and he's also 100% my soulmate too. Which is obviously effecting more than just him. I'm not going to even go into what all that I have suffered and endured by your black magic practitioners and you. I hope that karma catches up to you and everyone else you have doing your evil deeds for you. By doing what all that you and your hired magician minion thugs are doing is going to comeback on every single one of you tenfold. I'm a very firm believer in karma. I'm the type of person if you mess with me; I'll let karma do its job. Come after my family or friends or the people that I love then I'll become karma. I'm using the love and light because good always wins over evil. You and your hired magician minion thugs barely harmed my little short petite ass when you all tried to kill me on November 25, 2018. That was only a near death experience. You don't think have 7 guardian angels protecting my ass at all times, but I do. I also have 4 spirit guides watching my ass too. I'm more awake and aware of my gifts and abilities since my near death experience. I'm no longer afraid of you and your magician minion thugs. I'm a warrior, a fighter, and a survivor. I refuse to let any of your evil asses win. You're absolutely fucking terrified and frightened and also intimidated by my light and power. As you should be. Karma is going to great and awarding. I've said my peace for now. This is only the fucking beginning. (at Sioux Falls, South Dakota) https://www.instagram.com/michaellynann/p/BvYwciDF9Ih/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=mz9n4i4hy830

[calamitysshatteredson]

age: 25-ish (whee no official canon birthday) gender: Male race: Human..?  ..........Technically?  Genetically engineered mostly human, but also human-alien hybrid, more technically..?  Canonically speaking, anyway. sexuality: Demi-homosexual, demi-romantic.  ...Though I guess the “demi” bit actually depends on the verse, so.  Assume he likes gents, folks.  Sometimes he requires that emotional connection.  ...Sometimes not. origin: Haaaaa.  Nibelheim.  But he will say Midgar.  This gets complicated immediately. current location: Wow where isn’t he.  Well, let’s.  Do a super basic verse run-through, shall we.

CC!Seph - Midgar, for the most part

Shattered!Seph - Edge

Kintsukuroi!Seph - Wherever he can feel guilty and safe I guess

KH!Seph - wherever Cloud will find him most annoying

FFXV/Safay Roth verse - Mostly wondering why the hell he’s still in Niflheim

nationality: Ask him and he’ll just say “From Midgar”. ethnicity: Pale af.  Half Wutanese.  Part alien maybe. spoken languages: The, er... “main language” of Midgar fluently, with a working knowledge of Gaia’s major languages. religion: He claims none, not really having given it much thought.  Later on he learns all about the Lifestream, boy.

height: KEEPS.  CHANGING.  6′1″ - 6′3″.  He toll. body type: Warrior; definitely a fighter and then some, but not nearly to “body builder” proportions. hair: Silver.  Not gray, but distinctly shiny silver. eyes: Bright green, cat-like. tattoos: None (except some versions of his FFXV self, where there’s a wing on the back of his right shoulder, because I am me) piercings: None

educational background: He was tutored from an extremely early age, and while that gave him the fundamentals in history, literature and combat, he would consider the simple act of reading as many different kinds of books as he could get hold of as a better education. social media: Never.  Never.  He might post on SOLDIER message boards under another name once in a while just because it amuses him.

smoking: Not interested. drinking: Also normally not interested.  The taste and smell of alcohol isn’t kind to a SOLDIER’s enhanced senses, and their increased metabolism means it doesn’t really do all that much in smaller amounts.  In other verses it’s just about dulling senses, which he dislikes. drugs: Coffee, depending.  He much prefers chocolate.

athletics: He rather likes to turn the VR training difficulty to its absolute limits and see how quickly he can get the system to reset due to being unable to track his movements.  Also running sometimes, but treadmills lack... interest. hobbies: Reading.  Learning in general, even if the subject matter isn’t enthralling.  Taking advantage of his image and occasionally pulling mild, harmless pranks on SOLDIERs or Shinra staff because he knows he will never, ever be considered the culprit.

favorite drink: Hot chocolate. favorite food: Much as he legitimately enjoys a wide variety of take-out, the occasional home-cooked meals he manages to indulge in (but not cook, never cook) really are best.  Of course he’s got a fondness for chocolate, but that’s nearly matched by excellent curries, well-seasoned roasted meat and vegetables, the sort of fresh fish that’s only really available in seaside restaurants at Costa del Sol, and even mundanely simple pleasures like fresh bread or made-from-scratch ramen.  Just do not expect him to look at Brussels sprouts with anything short of disdain. favorite music: Instrumental, for the most part, though he has been known to willingly listen to some of the “lighter” pop fare when the lyrics are melodious.  (No one’s necessarily aware that guitar shredding pounds into the VR training room’s sound system when he feels particularly in need to blow off steam.)

clothing style: Like he just stepped out of a BDSM catalog.  His uniform is black and leather.  It puts him in the frame of mind he needs to be in so that he can do the work he is required to do.  Out of uniform, his clothes are somewhat “stylishly dull”, mostly pale colors or bland patterns.  Somehow he manages to have more worn-down tee shirts and pants than anyone thinks he ought to because they rarely see him wearing anything else. underwear type: ...Underwear..?

tagged by: @ignisxmilitaris (thank you!) tagging: Yes I know I suck terribly at this, but here we go: YOU.  Yes, YOU.  If you haven’t filled this out and you want to, YOU ARE TAGGED.  By me.  To do a thing.  So do a thing.  Please.  Good.

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching SWR for the frist time: Through Imperial Eyes

Yep, been looking forward to this episode. Again, not sure if I’ll do any more SWR reactions, but yeah, I’m gonna do this one for sure.

(spoilers ahead)

-Through Imperial Eyes.  If you take the first letter of every word, you get TIE.  What else has the word TIE in it?  Yes, the TIE fighter.  Let’s take a look at the TIE fighter, shall we?

According to Wookieepedia, it was “the standard Imperial starfighter seen in massive numbers throghout most of the Galactic Civil War and onward.”

-But wait!

Did you see that?

ILUMANITI CINFORMED!!!11!1!!

-*cough cough* Okay, let’s get back to the actual episode.

-Did he just wake up? What time is this, 2a.m.?

-He sleeps in his uniform?

-”Battle stations, sir!”  “Yeah i’m just gonna ignore that and go back into my room to waste water.”

-If the top button closes doors and the bottom one opens doors, what happens if you press one of them repeatedly?

-If I was on a Stardestroyer I would get to the nearest one of those doors and just keep pressing the two buttons alternately until the troopers throw me out of the airlock. I love buttons. I’m so gonna break all their doors.

-He sleeps in his armor?

-I finally understand all the Kallus Simulator jokes on my dash.. but seriously, Imperial Agent Simulator 2017 v3.16, created with Unity Engine and supported on Space Windows Vista, 8, 10 and Space Mac OS 7 and up...

-At first I was like “Holy hell, his room is dark,” but then I realized I had turned down my monitor brightness a lot over the past few days.

-*turns brightness all the way back up to 100* That’s better.

-His sink doesn’t have a drain?

-Yep, he’s definitely been sleeping.

-How do time zones even work in space? You could determine it based on the part of the planet you’re orbiting on, but then you could go to the other side in a very short time. Maybe time just loses its meaning when you’re in space. Only relative. Two hours of sleep, sixteen hours awake, ten hours sleeping because you're going to a faraway planet, it’s not “Lunch on 2o’clock”, it’s “Lunch 5 hours after your last meal”.

-Eyyyyyyyy it’s Yogurt List again

-If you’re not under attack then why the fuck did you ring all those sirens

the fuck did you wake me up for bitch

-That shuttle looks like a plastic lunchbox.

^+kallus= the sideburn squad.

for a moment I thought either the stormies were super short or Kallus was on stilts.

-DUN DUN DUN it’s Ezra

-Nice voice changer mask Ezra, did you get it on eBay?

Sabine Paintjob���

-You were expecting Ezra

bUT IT WAS ME, DIO!

-(I’m so sorry.)

-AP-5, sassy as always, and Chopper, with that Imperial paintjob tactic again.

-I just realized the letters C1-10P are supposed to look like ‘CHOP’.

-WHY DOES AP-5 SOUND LIKE SNAPE FROM HARRY POTTER

I see an A, a B, an X, a Y, aaannnnd some illegible symbols.

-Wait, sure the Empire is big, but if Ezra is a rebel Jedi on the loose, wouldn’t there be posters of him all over the place?

-Kallus: *stands and does nothing*  Ezra: “Stop! I’ll tell you anything!”  Lyste: wow he’s good

-THRAWN

-WE’RE SEEING THRAWN

-I’m sure AP-5 would have winked there if he had eyelids.

-Poor Lyste. On the other hand, I don’t think being summoned by high-ranking officers in the Empire is all that good. They might be out for your throat for all you know.

-How the hell did Thrawn get that drawing on his ship?  Seriously, that’s an Imperial Class Star destroyer according to the Internet, it’s supposed to be 1.6 km long, did he just get a bunch of droids to turn the ship upside down to get that gigantic paint job?

yep, no visible barrier, nothing is being sucked out into space because Star Wars.

-KANAN AND REX ARE WEARING STORMTROOPER ARMOR AGAIN

-DID THEY STEAL ANOTHER SHUTTLE

-Jesus Christ the Empire needs better anti-theft mechanisms

Heyyyy it’s that officer again, what was her name? Oh yeah right, Captain Brunson. I spent ten minutes looking for that name on the internet.

-But Lyste has a cylinder right there...

-I feel like I am constantly reminded of how those are not pens these days. Okay, okay, I get it. Also I know in some other places I said those were insignia, and it’s not a precise term but it’s not wrong either because 1) the code contain information about the officer wearing it including their rank, and 2) the numbers and colors of the cylinders differ based on said officer’s rank/position.

is that a fucking hat

-THERE’S THE CLIP THE ENTIRETY OF TUMBLR WAS GOING CRAZY OVER.

-Override code: *german word*

-(I know it’s not German but it just sounds like it... I am learning German and their ‘ch’ is so hard to pronounce correctly...)

-How tf did he close the door though

-I have a feeling he let them hear the override code on purpose.

-Or... HE WAS SIDING WITH THE REBELLION THE ENTIRE TIME

-DUN DUN DUUUUN

-Sorry.

-Oh it’s that guy now. Disney certainly didn’t feel like modeling any new Imperial officers.

-Ahahahaha lizards  Let me guess, ysalamiri?

-YULAREN

-YOU’RE CANON NOW- hold on, A New Hope.  YOU’RE 3D ANIMATED NOW- oh wait, Clone Wars. YOU’RE IN REBELS NOW

-WOOHOO

-When Yularen has had more canon appearances than Thrawn.

-Every single Imperial acquaintance seems to come from ‘the Academy’.  “Hey, remember me? We ate lunch in the Academy together.”  “Remember me from the Academy bathroom?”  “I’m from your Academy, remember?”

His eyes are saying “yes you Kallus, you little shit, i know you’re fulcrum you lil bitch yes you right there”

He still has the Phoenix Squadron graffiti... and the lothcat doodle

-”--must be unmasked quickly”  Idk why but at first I thought he said “must be on Mars”

Free the Rose Quartzes-- oh, wait, wrong show.

-And now we run into Irina SpalkoPryce... It’s like they scraped all the Imperial characters together and put them on one ship.  Except those who are dead.  R.I.P. Aresko and Grint,Grand Inquisitor, Minister Tua, Fifth Brother, Seventh Sister, Eight Brother, and countless stormtroopers.

-Kallus: whoops another person i hate, let me just get rid of this person i hate so he can go with her

-Kallus: actually lemme just make them hate each other

-Kallus: i am such a genius

-Kallus you manipulative mutton chop

Aw come on, you can’t get tired of his shit already! How are you going to survive among the Rebels?

-Was Ezra hanging by his chin or something

-Lyste is so serious about this omfg  He wants to prove himself  Poor dude

-EZRA IS WEARING AN OFFICER’S UNIFORM

-Wait

-How the hell did they find the right size

-Are there smol officers on board

-ARE THERE

-”We’re not here to steal art!”

-Yep, because Thrawn’s definitely gonna look at that map later and go “Welp I guess this one planet here suddenly moved twenty light years to the side, nothing weird about that”

-Lyste’s in big trouble now. I feel sorry for that guy.

-Thrawn smells the traitorous scent.

-KALLUS WAS HIDING THERE

-WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

-HE DIDN’T PULL ANY CLEVER ANTICS, HE JUST WENT AND HID IN A DITCH IN THE WALL

Is... that supposed to be Imperial insignia as well?

-How the hell did Kallus change the override code

-Wooo, Thrawn action!

-Ouch.  He alright tho

-What did he say? “Nix”?

-”Shuttle TY992, you are clear to land.″  NO IT’S NOT  IT’S A TRAITOR SHIP WITH TRAITORS IN IT

-”There must be some kind of mistake sir--”  Pryce: HOW DARE YOU ASSUME MY GENDER

-But really, gotta love how she didn’t even let him finish the first sentence, didn’t take any of the Jedi bullshit and just said “shoot him”

-She chill af

-DAMN SHE’S A BADASS

-I feel really sorry for Lyste but I can’t help cracking up for some reason

-Yularen why did you come alone

-You could have just brought a bunch of stormtroopers and tased the lot from a distance, or would Ezra’s huge plot shield deflect that too

-Annnnd Pryce faints. Again.

-Dammit Lyste.

-Poor Lyste, and poor Kallus.

-THRAWN’S ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO THAT PURPLE LOTHCAT DOODLE

-Thrawn knooooowwwssss... He aaaaalwaaaaayyyyssss knooooowwwwwssssssssssss...

-But seriously damn I’m gettin’ chills here.

-”I believe Agent Fulcrum will prove far more useful to the Empire than Kallus ever was.”  DAAAAmn

-Kallus is so screwed

-KALLUS. IS. SO. FRICKIN. SCREWED. D’YOU. HEAR. ME.

-This is such a good episode; I don’t usually rewatch episodes, no matter what franchise, but this one I want to watch again.