#He's died once. came back pretty much the same. but the wrongness has to take time to show through basically. He's been alive again..

[omarwolaeth]

Might write up a new chapter for Heartbeat Program. maybe

[withonly-sweetheart]

di leon kennedy doing pushups ;) inspired by this (suggestive) art by @bunnivievve because i think artists have too much power. lowkey im typing this out so fast rn im tweaking i have exams tomorrow NOOOOOOOO-

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your husband joined the police force. great. awesome. what a wonderful sight, at least it is for all the people watching on the outside. the picture perfect couple; a loving wife and a valiant husband to match.

what they never saw were the late nights up, studying the same textbook about a trillion times over, pretty much memorizing the goddamn contents of it before stumbling into your bed.

his body might be warm but that warmth always abandons you in what seems like a second, the snap of his fingers, because it's become a recurring instance that he's left early to train.

always making good impressions, that man. and you're proud of him, you have to be and you're not ashamed to show it. you've seen his growth, his courage that he displays, the hurt he has to suffer through all to keep the city safe. his city, where you are. his heart.

which is why it comes as a surprised when your husband, a man you've been married to for seven years, comes up to you with a bashful expression, eyes darting left and right, grazing all the corners of the world.

"do you... uhm... think... i'm strong?" you blink, dazed.

"why? what's wrong?"

"well, some of my higher ups had some concerns about... strength. they wanted me to 'strengthen my core'." he chuckles. "whatever that means."

"and you came to me for that," you drone.

"i've seen you do all those exercises around the house!" he protests. "can't you just teach me a few?"

"first of all, those are to help with cramps, and second, no." it seems like he's given up, but you know him well enough to know that that will never be the case.

"aw, c'mon, please?" he murmurs, taking your hand into his, caressing the bottom of your knuckles, rubbing soothing circles into your fingers. "just once?"

so you find yourself relenting to the man who always knows what to say to get you to crack. maybe next time you should be more demanding, hm?

needless to say, it's all made up for when you stretch out into the first pose, a simple sitting position with your legs extended fully, fingertips reaching the tips of your toes.

leon nods, and he gets the sitting part right. but when he tries to copy your movements, he hisses and leans back, groaning with the effort.

"what's wrong, officer kennedy?" you tease. "scared you'll break a hip bone?"

"quiet," he grumbles. "i'm just a little sore from yesterday."

"of course, of course, a very busy day running errands, such as picking up doughnuts, might i add?"

he scowls at you and tries again, and again, but every time he can't seem to cope with the fact your flexibility, even at your maturing age, is better than his, even with all his rigorous training.

"looks like you couldn't do it," you say smugly, smirking directly at him, angling your body to face him. "told you so."

"i think it's my turn now," he says, creeping towards you. and this time he seems to have the prowess of a panther, easily slotting himself into place above you.

"your turn for what?" you ask, somewhat suggestively. he grins.

"how 'bout i show you what i've learned?"

fuck, you'll never doubt him again, will you? his sweet, submissive girl, arching beneath him, one hand pressed on the floor near your head, keeping him supported. the other is clasped behind his back, in an ethereal tilt that has his chest hair hitting all the right angles of the dying sun.

your knee is thrown over his shoulder, and the position should be awkward, you think, yet it feels as natural as anything. he pistons his hips further into you, and he's been mumbling something in your ear since he started.

now that you can hear him better through his rough, sloppy pants, you hear a steady rhythm. "twenty-five... twenty-six..."

he's counting, you realize after your mind-shattering orgasm, whimpering underneath him as he finishes, muscles flexing in a manner you'd never thought to admire until you realize why.

he's counting the pushups, god, that's all he's been doing this whole time. and you'd be damned if you didn't send a silent prayer of thanks back to the academy, where they trained him to do this.

but you're sure this isn't how they expected him to apply it in real life. hey, what can you say? seems like you're finally enjoying your husband's career and all the perks it comes with.

"my pretty wife, going around doing all those stretches, driving me fucking crazy bending over like that," he rambles, lowering himself to shower your face in messy kisses before tilting his head back to the side with a hiss, lifting himself back up.

back up and back down, a slower pace with his upper body while his lower half rails into you, and all you can do is lie there, helpless to what he gives you, craving more yet somehow satiated at the same time.

"yeah, mmm, fuck, just like that-" he breaks off his counting to whisper sweet nothings in your ear for the second time that evening, pushing his spend back in while you grasp for purchase on his biceps, feeling the hardened muscle lurch back towards you as you dig your nails deep into his skin.

"needed that, didn't you?" you whisper breathlessly after he collapses onto the hard wooden floor next to you. his eyes shine with effort and pride, and after a low exhale, he immediately scoops you up.

he carries you back to the bedroom, where he lies you down onto the comforters, making sure you're comfortable before trailing up and down your neck with soft, carefully measured kisses once again.

"w-what're you doing?" you murmur, twitching under the overstimulation. leon's eyes have shifted to a deeper color, a darker lilt to his eyes when he reaches your gaze.

"i can do better than that, sweetheart."

"better?" you ask jokingly, because what could make him better? anything better than that is a menace to society, you decide.

he sighs, shaking his head before cupping your body with his hand again, rubbing your skin in such a doting gesture that you don't expect his next words.

"i said a hundred, sweetheart. i didn't even make it to fifty."

series masterlist

[all-pacas]

Never realized I until I binge watched this time that the episode where Chase and Cameron first have sex is the episode before his dad died. Once again I must ask if he’s doing okay (he’s not) and can time loving people without making me wonder if he’s displacing daddy issues

It's actually even more nuts! Because in The Mistake, they give a timeline; Stacy actually gives us dates. The Mistake aired, for context, November 29, 2005. Episodes last multiple days usually, but we know from holiday episodes they tend to take place around the air date. (Hunting aired November 22nd) So according to Stacy:

Cursed aired on March 1st, 2005. In the episode, Rowan tells House he has about three months. This turns out to be an overestimate.

Kayla first showed up to the clinic May 11th, 2005. This puts that case right between Love Hurts and Three Stories in the episode order. This is also just a couple weeks after the whole Vogler debacle. Chase was very much on House's shitlist for most of that spring, only seeming to get off it around Kids, after a last hurrah of bullying.

Kayla leaves the clinic, and returns the next day for a planned followup. This is when Chase gets the phone call his dad died, so Rowan Chase died either the 11th or 12th of May.

Everything goes wrong with Kayla, but she gets a liver transplant and lives three more months before being diagnosed with (her brother's) cancer. Chase is doing follow ups and seems to be pretty close to her and the family at this point: she's filling him in on her kids, he's someone they trust. This would be around August. Once the cancer is diagnosed, Chase says Kayla dies "a week later." So probably still August, maybe September. Presumably, the hearing is still scheduled, but Chase seems to be doing okay. His dad's been dead a few months, Kayla and her family like him. He's made a mistake, but he's dealing with it.

Chase continues to be her brother's doctor and point of contact. And this is where it gets good. "Last week," Stacy says, the brother suddenly decided to sue. A week before The Mistake, Chase finds out Kayla's family (who he likes!) has to move and has no money and in a fit of self-flagellation, he lies to her brother and provokes him. He has to provoke him. Chase actually works pretty hard at it:

SAM: Ever since the operation I've been on disability and there's the mortgage so… moving out of state somewhere cheaper. Anyways, thanks. [they shake hands, Sam is not at all mad at Chase.] CHASE: [as Sam is leaving] I killed your sister. I misdiagnosed her ulcer. Killed her. SAM: Shut up man. She liked you, just— CHASE: [not meeting his eyes] I was hung-over when she came back to see me. I'd been up half the night drinking, had a headache and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Couldn't have cared less what your sister was saying about her stomach pain. [Sam kicks a table or something, makes a mess. Chase flinches.]

He really has to try to get the brother to hate him! He puts in a fucking EFFORT! And it's at that point the brother decides to sue and destroy Chase's career, because Chase feels guilty and wants the family to get the money and not have to move.

And again. This was a week ago. What else happened a week ago???????

I am insane about this. Absolutely insane. Cameron, quite possibly, tells Chase he's not a good guy the same exact day Chase had already convinced a man who liked him that he was in fact a bad person. Of course Chase immediately fucks her (and falls in love with her). Of course

[scekrex]

I saw some of your Adam x readers and really enjoyed them! I was wondering if you could do an Adam x reader where the reader is a trans man but still likes to wear dresses, skirts, and has like either medium length or long hair, but is also insecure about the fact that they won't be seen as a real guy. Have a wonderful day/night!

Omg as a trans guy myself writing this was some sort of healing I swear, I adore you for requesting trans reader! Also I hope you like it!

What it takes to be a man

pairing: Adam x trans!male!reader

warnings: a lil angst maybe? It's mainly fluff

note: not beta read bc idc

Things were rough up here in heaven, you thought that once you had died things would get easier but they didn't. Your body was still the same, still wrong. Everything was wrong, to be honest. Your voice was still too high for a guy's voice, your chest was still… well, too big for a man's chest and your curves weren't really helpful either. Waist too small, hip bones too pronounced.

When Adam entered the room you flinched for a moment, but only for a moment because as soon as the man entered the room he took his helmet off and greeted you with a cocky smile, “How’s my babe doing?”

You sent a small smile his way, then looked down to your hands. Yeah, how were you doing? That was actually a pretty good question. Not fine, that much you knew. So you said just that, there was no reason for you to lie to Adam after all, “Y’know I thought things would be different here.”

Adam's smile dropped almost immediately, a serious expression took its place. He put down the helmet on the bedside table and sat down next to you. “Yeah? In which way?”

You inhaled loudly, you tried to find the words, tried to explain how you felt, but it was just so hard to find the correct words to express your feelings. “In a ‘my body is still not it's way,” you then chose to say. “I’ve been struggling with that back on earth and I thought that here it might be different, that I'd get here with the body I feel like I should have been born in, you know?”

Well to be completely honest, Adam didn't know, nor did he fully understand the entire concept of body dysmorphia, but he didn't need to understand it, he was trying his best to keep you happy and that was what counted in the end. “Babes, why does it matter what other people think huh? You feel comfortable in dresses and skirts and those slutty crop tops, fuck, you look so fucking hot wearing them too,” his hand came to rest on your knee. He knew that being seen as a guy by others was a big deal to you, he didn't understand why though.

“No but that's the point, I wanna feel comfortable and confident but then people come up to me and tell me ‘what a pretty lady I am’ and I'm so sick and tired of being seen as a lady when I'm really not. I'm a fucking dude just like you're a dude, why can't people just see that?” It was exhausting, really. Because even when you corrected people they would try to take your identity from you, they usually said things like ‘men don't have long hair the way you do’ or ‘you wanna be a man? Then stop dressing like a woman'.

You weren't trying to be a man, you were a man.

“I see it,” Adam said and shot you a small smirk. Your head snapped sideways to look him in the eyes, “You do?” Adam made a hand gesture that was meant to say ‘Isn’t it obvious?’. “When I look at you I see my handsome boyfriend, you don't give two shits, you dress in what you feel comfortable, you wear your hair in ways that make you feel good and hands down, that's the hottest thing you can do, doesn't make you any less of a man.” His wing wrapped around your back softly, the tips of his feathers wrapped over your shoulder to gently pet your cheek. “You’re the most interesting angel I ever got to meet, babes. Don't let these assholes bring you down just because they can't see the most obvious thing.”

You tilted your head slightly, curiously looking up at your boyfriend, “N that is?” “That you're a motherfucking dude, babes,” he spoke like it was the most obvious thing, and to him personally it was. You've always been you, always been a man, nothing could ever change that. His hand slid smoothly through your hair, pushing the long silky strands out of your face. “And if some fuckface ever tries to claim anything else, you're gonna head straight up to me and I'll handle it, got it?” You knew he meant it and it warmed your heart that he cared so much. You leaned against his arm, your head was resting against his shoulder as you whispered a quiet “Thank you”.

[blues-sues]

It had been a year.

Though part of her suspected it had been longer. It felt like an eternity.

Sometimes she felt like the only peace she could truly find anymore were these night walks with her son.

He'd been born a few months before it happened. Yet he didn't understand a thing, of course. He was merely a child.

One who tugged now on her wrist, with a distressed whine as he looks over his shoulder, brows furrowed.

"Stain? What's wrong?" She turns her head to look down at him in concern. She knew her son was extremely prone to having sudden rushes of anxiety. She'd hoped the soothe bell around his neck would improve it, but it had only lessened a small amount.

"Scarf!" Once the word escaped him, Pigment had never turned as fast. Looking back on it, she's not sure why. Perhaps part of her hoped her father remained out there. But she knew the answer all too well.

It had been a year.

Fate was a despicable thing, taking her father. She'd thought maybe she'd stop having hope that he'd come back. She knew he was gone. And she knew she wouldn't see anything as she turned around.

"Stain, there's nothing there. You needn't worry." She tries to comfort him but the young Mewtwo doesn't take his eyes off the tree. Her frown depends.

She gives his hand a gentle squeeze, but he still doesn't avert his gaze, instead beginning to wave one of his arms, his legs beginning to bounce as he rocked on his feet. "There! There!" He squeaked out, scrambling to hide behind her hip. Pigment breathes out.

"I'll check, okay? Just to be sure." She offers. Stain looks up at her, his eyes wide before his chin lowers in the tiny symbol of a nod. Releasing his hand lightly, she glides herself closer to the tree, peering her head around it.

"I told you, nothing's there."

And nothing was. She wasn't sure why he'd been so panicked. He's rather skittish, but still, not enough to be startled by well..air. She decides to come to the conclusion that perhaps he saw some sort of other 'mon on its night route.

"Ma! Saw Scarf!" He's waving both hands now, his fur spiked as he looks around with nervous glances. A strange detail to keep bringing up. Her heart sinks as her own mind recalls a scarf, her hand drifting up to clasp at the bandana over her shoulders.

A swift shake of her head as she leans down and lifts Stain into her arms, tucking his head against her chest.

"It's alright. I'll protect you."

And so, a hum emerges from her. A tune that once it reaches Stain, it causes his eyelids to flutter downwards, a tiny yawn escaping him as his trembling slowly starts to cease.

Perhaps she should've checked behind the tree twice.

A shadow looms there now, his eyes narrowed as his fingers grip the fabric he wears. The blue was now much darker. His fingers now claws.

He'd changed after death, he'd noticed. So had the world, it appeared. After all, it had been a year.

How foolish of he to think it could all stay the same.

_______

End.

Woop that was a long one. I came up with this during school.

I'd had the general idea for a while after seeing some of Tc's asks about what if Scarfy died and decided to do a little something.

My backgrounds aren't top tier but the flowers in the front are Forget-me-nots.

For clarification: this isn't supposed to be bashing on these characters for not recovering in a year after Scarfy's death. It's meant to show that grief lasts a long time. And sometimes it takes time to completely settle. Pigment is still sort of coming to terms with it, part of her struggling to believe he's truly gone.

These characters belong to @xxtc-96xx !!

Also, in this, I made the choice that after a Pokemon dies, they become y'know a ghost. Or in Scarfy's case, a ghost fusion. He became a Haunter fusion since Pig technically has Gengar blood and I'm pretty sure Stains would-be fusion is a Gastly.

I might do more doodles and such about this, but here's the first! I genuinely really like this idea and may or may not have gotten some inspiration from Ghosting by Mother Mother.

[one-idea]

I have the headcanon that Ace loves the ocean and water and just all of that.

Saying this, I think it leads to some great fic ideas.

- Maybe there was a river in the forest that was free of dangerous animals and he went swimming in it. Maybe once Sabo came along the two of them would swim together, and when Luffy came along he would try his best to join in. Maybe once Sabo died the river fell to the same fate as the treehouse, a place too painful to return to.

- Ace is a devil fruit user, and obviously this means he cannot swim. I think that once this realization set in there would be a lot of panic since he just lost basically a big part of his life. I think this could lead to some really good angst and (forgive me if I’m wrong I have not read Ace’s novel) especially since he is alone with a stranger on some random island.

- I know it’s canon that he’s jumped into the water after Luffy, but I also think that with this headcanon he would do that unprompted. “Omg it’s hot out I’m gonna go swim” “ACE YOU CANT SWIM STOP” “oh no!”

- This bit is a little more self indulgent but I think it would have been really cool and impactful if Ace had a Viking funeral.

Anyways, sorry if there are any spelling mistakes or if I got too rambly :D

This bursts but is also so comical.

Ace probably did grow up loving to swim. Him and Sabo having a secret swimming hole is very cute.

(I’ve never been clear. Devil fruit users can’t swim in salt water or all water. Because I just watched Chopper swim around in a swimming pool no problem, so my assumption is that fresh water is alright but salt water will kill them)

With that understanding in mind if the swimming hole was fresh water Luffy could have joined them.

Sabo and Ace got used to having to pull Luffy out of the Sea or Estuaries (where salt and fresh water mix) they both became excellent swimmers. You have to be when you’re constantly doing water rescues for you little brother.

On Sixis Ace probably tried to swim his way out at least once and almost drowned for his efforts (this was before he ate the fruit)

Afterwards he did have to mourn not being able to swim. It was a big part of him. And now who’s going to save Luffy? (Yes his little brother is on a different island but it’s always been his and Sabo’s job, and when Sabo died it fell to him. Taking care of Luffy is so engrained that it’s one of his first concerns)

He likes Deuce but the raft makes him a little nervous because while his new powers are going to power it and get them off this island (theoretically) if the raft brakes he’s relying completely on Deuce to get them both to shore. That’s a lot of trust to put in someone you just meet. Especially for Ace. It’s a big moment in their relationship for him (Deuce does not know this) because if the raft breaks Deuce would struggle to get himself back to shore, let alone Ace (the currents are awful) but he’s promised to do it and Ace believes him.

Once they get off the island Deuce gets put in Ace duty. Ace has always been an amazing swimmer and he often forgets he can’t swim anymore.

It’s a running joke in the Spades that Deuce doesn’t wear a shirt because he has to jump after their captain so often.

Deuce originally got pretty upset with Ace “are you trying to die?” Like he can understand forgetting the first few times but come on! But slowly Ace opens up and tells him about his little brother and their childhood and how much Ace loved swimming. Suddenly Deuce doesn’t mind fetching his captain as much. And if he check each island they visit for a fresh water swimming hole that’s his business.

This continues on the Moby Dick. Ace will jump in after other Devil fruit user and get scolded “Ace you’ve had your fruit of over a year! How do you keep ‘forgetting?’”

Ace: “it’s a force of habit”

This is how people (Thatch, Marco, and the over commanders) find out about Luffy.

When Ace runs into Luffy in Alabasta it’s force of habit to jump in after his kid brother. The crew would be more exasperated if Luffy and Chopper didn’t jump after each other as well. Their devil fruit users often forget that the sea wants them dead.

The idea of a Viking funeral is sick. But I don’t think he’d get on just because it’s the Red Hair Pirates who bury them and they don’t know Ace that well. Deuce probably does a symbolic one when he visits the grave.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

A second long lost parent appears and this is where I check out. I've made one small post before and I wasn't going to make another but for some reason I can't stop myself so here it is.

Go Ahead is good. I mean it is so good. I just finished episode 7. However, there's this pit in my stomach every time I watch it and honestly I don't really need that right now. To explain this I'm gonna get a bit personal so if you don't care just don't read.

My father left when I was in the womb. So that alone made this show right from the start perhaps too relatable for me. I'm a grown woman now and I don't think about it all that much to be honest but it's a whole other thing to have it shown back to me in series format.

Let me talk a little about episode 4.

This was when I knew I couldn't really binge this show. If I actually wanted to watched it all, I needed to take my time and choose wisely when to watch it.

See I have a half-sister, younger by about 12 years I think, from my father's side. I've met her exactly once, and after that, when I was in my twenties I got an email from my father saying his father had died and he made sure that in the same e-mail he made me feel like shit because apparently I didn't care enough about my sister to go see her or ask about her. Can you believe this shit? This was a man that left me and my mom, who I saw maybe 4 times total in my whole life and he had the audacity of putting that on me.

And the thing is, just like it's not Ling Xiao's sister fault, it's not my sister's fault. But to care about her would make my father happy and that was the last thing I wanted. So to see Ling Xiao have that exact same struggle was a lot.

Cause this is not an easy thing. This child has done nothing wrong. She's absolutely adorable, at first anyway, and wants a brother. Understandable. But it's what she represents. When Ling Xiao is helping her with homework, I can see him being completely split between wanting to be a good person, because he is, and not wanting to give his mother that satisfaction. This girl becomes an avatar and not just a little sister. There's a lot of reasons I've still haven't met my own sister, and really all the relatives from that side of the family, but one of the reasons I didn't at first, was that I didn't wanna project on her my issues with her father, because he was good to her. Why would I ruin that? And can I really separate things? At this age, probably, but at eighteen or in my twenties when I was first confronted with this? I'm not sure I could. I'm an expert in avoidance so we may never know. And that's what Ling Xiao is battling at that moment. He has a family, he has a sister, and although he understands on a rational level that this kid is his sister and he could have a relationship with her, there's just too much baggage to consider.

So after that I continued. I was only 4 episodes in and I honestly thought it was so well done. And I mean I did consider the possibility that this could happen again. God knows there's enough children abandoned in this show. But still I wanted to watch. The scene in episode 5 where Li Hai Chao is drunk and talking about his sons had me in tears. And those moments sustained me. Because this family is one of the most beautiful depicted families I think I ever watched. You can feel the love in every scene. I have my own 'brother' that I've known since I was 2 and that relationship got me through everything. So these 3 have my whole heart.

That is until the fried chicken in episode 7. Zi Qiu's father came back and I thought I was okay. Like it couldn't get any worse right? But then that whole scene with the guys eating the fried chicken and making absolutely stupid comments, and then Zi Qiu throwing it all on the floor and then... well pretty much everything in the episode after that...I was sobbing. It was a lot. I don't know about other people, but ever since I was a kid until I was in uni there was always a part of me that wondered. What if he came back? What if he had a good reason? Which is absolutely ridiculous cause eventually you realize there's actually no reason that would make up for everything. And Zi Qiu's father did come back and every time he opened his mouth, I wanted to scream at him.

The thing is. It's one thing to be over it, in this 'I don't really think about it a lot' kind of way. It's a whole other thing to willingly sign up for a reminder. Yeah I'm "over it" and I healed some but the scars are still there and I just don't need to be forced to look at them. I have enough triggers as it is and this is a long investment that I don't think I'm able to do right now.

I have absolutely no doubt this show holds up throughout, because this was a recommendation from @lurkingshan so I have no doubt about the quality. And maybe one day, when I feel more up to it I might try again but not right now. Maybe never. I'm not kind to myself enough as it is and it takes a lot for me to stop watching a show once I start. But this time I think I really can't do it. Maybe I will never watch it. And that's okay.

[etoilesombre]

Never have I ever game-- you're known for playing with the source material in ways that don't change canon's outcome, but would you ever do a non-canon Black Sails take? An AU that is entirely different setting from pirates, mod au, fairytale au, space au, cowboy au, etc?

Oh that is a great question. I don't generally do AU, and especially not modern AU, because for me personally it is hard to put them into a high enough stakes environment to explore the elements of the show I'm interested in. HOWEVER. There is one that I started to consider a while ago and have pretty thoroughly fleshed out, and have a serious plan to start once other projects are finished, and that is: Russian Revolution AU! Ok. Stick with me here. [Or don't. I'm going to put this under a cut, it is a lot, and may not make very much sense if you don't already know something about the historical period.]

So, I love the idea of using the Russian revolution as a way to explore some of the same dynamics as the show because it is a period in which there was a lot of righteous idealism, and then it all went very wrong, which naturally brings up questions of ideological commitment vs survival, what are you willing to sacrifice, how do your ideals hold up in the real world, etc. It is also a time when how queerness was treated was very in flux, fitting well with 'we care if its politically convenient to care.'

Basically, we start in the early 1920s right after Lenin dies. Flint is a general, old guard party member, was a commander in the civil war. He is known for doing Really Heinous Flinty Shit during that period. He is sort of revered but also feared, and very ideologically motivated, and so of course he is about to get his ass purged when Stalin starts to consolidate and bring everybody into line.

Silver (10ish years younger) grew up during the upheaval of the 1905, WWI, 1917. He's his survivalist trauma bundle self, and ends up working as a low level NKVD (early Soviet intelligence) guy. He gets sent to keep tabs on/gather evidence against Flint - there is immediately a Frenemies attraction spark there. For Plot Reasons they have to do something together and become Reluctant Allies. I have some of the actual plot worked out but I'm not going to get much into it here, but there is absolutely a parallel conflict in values to the show, and choice that has to be made at the end.

IN THE MEAN TIME interspersed through all of this, in flashbacks: back sometime in the years right after the 1905 revolution, Flint is a promising young military guy who came up from nothing, and has a Hennessey parallel benefactor who sends him to school to be educated. He falls in with Thomas, who is the son of a minor prince, very queer and getting away with it, and is a radical in the Christian anarchist Tolstoy model. Flint gets radicalized through him and his friends, they spend happy years abroad in exile with Thomas writing and Flint being a tactician and doing direct action stuff. They come back in 1917, the civil war starts, Thomas is basically murdered by his family because he sided against them, and he is still set to inherit. SO, that is why Flint goes all Darkness and gets especially nasty during the civil war.

There is a Miranda proxy as well. I believe she disappears and her disappearance is what sets off Plot Events.

It's also set in St. Petersburg, if anybody is wondering. Moscow, with the level I have Flint at, would involve too much interaction with Actual Historical Figures, and while I know a fair amount about this era and am totally committed to research, but still, that gets to be Much.

So, there you have it, Russia AU! My delusional long-term goal is for this to be different enough from canon that it could be published. Thanks for the ask, it's helping me get excited about that project again!

[georgiespapers]

A Oscar appreciation post because I love him so much. Even though some are old with zero consistency.

Also him and Heather, I adore them.

19/12/23: Updating this to include his story; Father's Gambit

14/01/24: Remembered write his backstory... more or less.

Oscar James Sunderland is James’s son, a product of a one night stand with Oriana (a OC, who alongside her husband Charles are a part of the Valtiel sect of the Order) born in October 1991.

He was handed over to Frank by Charles after Oriana died during childbirth. (I’ve considered the possibility that Oscar is Walter’s half-brother. Same mum, different fathers idk yet)

He’s albino, inherited from Frank (he’s albino) and Oriana. With it he’s very blind preferring contacts over glasses but keeps a pair just in case.

He also has crippling arachnophobia after being bitten by one and another crawling on his face.

He was raised by James and Mary mostly alongside Alex, who is Mary’s nephew. The couple planned to adopt Alex but Mary fell ill and lost contact with him towards the end of Mary’s life. 

During the last year of Mary’s life; a year prior to SH2, James sent Oscar to live with Frank as he couldn’t cope with caring for both Mary and Oscar.

When SH2 (1998, Oscar would be 7) happened James abruptly whisked Oscar away with to Silent Hill under the guise of seeing Mary one last time… but it was so James can commit a murder/suicide.

Oscar had no monsters of his own but did see his father’s monsters and they ignored him. This also includes the PH who was his guardian during the times that Oscar and James got separated.

They got separated in Brookhaven after Laura locked James in a room. He fought Laura to get the key back but was too late, James had been whisked off into the Otherworld so PH babysat Oscar.

The PH would also escort him through the prison level after being too scared to jump after his dad.

Oscar’s arachnophobia developed into entomophobia

After finding out the truth, James took Oscar and Laura back to his car. He left Oscar with his jacket and said his goodbyes before taking off in his car to drive it into the lake. Both sat abandoned at the entrance to the town before Travis came along and picked them.

He had every intention to take the kids to Brahms but bumped into Aubrey McLynne (OC) on the way when stopping for gas.

It was then Aubrey took over, Travis was all too happy to hand the kids to a lady. It was awkward and Laura was pretty chatty.

The McLynnes ended up adopting Laura. They tried to reunite Oscar with Frank but Frank felt he was better off with them. They looked rich, surely they could get the help Oscar needed. (Frank was wrong about getting therapy) So the McLynnes adopted Oscar, they were taught how to fight, both doing kickboxing/boxing from 8 and 9.

Frank and Oscar’s relationship greatly suffered and were barely communicating

In 2004, the family moved from Brahms to Chamberlain when the kids were in the 8th grade (Oscar 13 and Laura 14).

It was then that Oscar met Heather, they were classmates before becoming friends (Heather is a grade behind due her stunted education)

In 2005, Oscar and Frank reconnected thanks to Murphy who had moved into the apartments. Murphy befriended Frank and offered to taxi Oscar to and from his home. The long drives enabled Murphy and Oscar to develop a father and son relationship

Between here and SH3, 2007. Oscar, 14 who once had a gap tooth now has upper front partial dentures after smashing his teeth in. He was trying to impress Heather while on a dirtbike… failed miserably.

And whilst working on a car with Murphy, Oscar’s right ring and pinky fingers were crushed under a wheel severing his pinky while degloving the other. They were amputated. It was a few months prior to SH3, so he was 16. (Oscar also got a DeLorean for his 16th birthday as his first car)

He also has a talent for acting and got the lead role in their school’s drama club production of Footloose which got Heather to fall for him.

As SH3 happened, Oscar and Heather were on their first date at a mall then a movie, possibly to see either The Mist or Paranormal Activity…. They had their own horror movie instead.

During Silent Hill, he gets a lovely cut on his forehead after Heather throws the seal of Metatron at him. He scared her with his red eyes. He also does get injured after cracking his ribs from taking the brunt of the fall from the rollercoaster for Heather. 

He also gets a bisexual awakening from Vincent after he tends to the cut on his forehead.

Oscar also became a dad to Harper, a baby that appeared after god was slain. (Basically a reincarnation of Alessa)

After SH3, Heather moves into Oscar’s place until they graduated school at 18. It was also at 18 that he was made to work for his adoptive father, Russell. Russell is the drug warlord/don/head of a gang and he made Oscar his personal hitman. He orders him to kill a person, under duress that if he doesn't, his family will be killed. Oscar did as he was told but also pointed the gun at Russell in anger, because of this the boy was beaten within an inch of his life.

From his injuries, Oscar developed nystagmus (eye twitching)

After this, Oscar with Heather and Harper moved to Ashfield into the apartments. Although he still worked for Russell (he had 20 hits before the crash). He reunites with Alex, who Travis brought back. He also married Heather at 25 and fathering a child (Anya) with her at 26 via IVF (and Eileen also carried her)

Oh and he runs a charity that helps Ashfield homeless/poverish population purely self-serving, for he has a guilty conscious.

[buddieisgoingcanon25]

Sorry, I came back to the start and added this bit because it is long and I apologize for that.

On the subject of the discussions of Bi-Buck and Queer Eddie, to me, it makes sense that Buck would be the first to lead that direction and that is how they decided to play this story line. Buck reminds me a lot of me in regard to being a relatively open person and not disliking someone for who they are. If we’re to believe that Buck was pretty much ignored for the most part as a young teen to young adulthood by his parents, he would not have had the same influence someone like Eddie would have whose family was pretty much very involved with. So Buck realizing that he likes women AND men, wouldn’t have been that big of a deal to him. Like with me, it was more of a “okay, so to me it doesn’t matter man or woman, as long as they care for me and are a good person”

We see the opposite now with Eddie’s religious trauma/guilt and the way he was so hesitant for therapy. Eddie tells his father that he is going to therapy to be better for himself and Christopher because he now realizes that the way he grew up was NOT healthy. Eddie going to therapy was him taking further steps away from the box of his family’s influence (leaving Texas was the very first step outside, and when he left the box, he just stood there right outside of it) There is evidence that he himself still has yet to process Shanon’s death as well as her wanting a divorce, because when Shannon died, Christopher took precedence. I don’t doubt Eddie was into Shannon, and at one point, he probably was very much in love with her. I think he mentioned she was his best friend at one point. And even with them being separated and her abandoning Chris, he did still love her, even if the trust he had once had for her was broken when she left. I don’t think Eddie has commitment issues. He is committed to his son and his job. His friends, especially his relationship with Buck. What Eddie’s problem is, he is looking for the wrong things in a partner. We all know it because we are the observers from the outside.

In the end, I have hope that Tim, Ryan, and Oliver have had a lengthy discussion on if they want this to happen or not. Ryan saying he wanted that platonic relationship between male friends is valid and is important. But also, if Buddie does happen, it parallels with Eddie and Shannon. Their relationship started out on the basis as they are friends, and they dated and Shannon ended up pregnant. Buck is Eddie’s best friend now, and they have that connection that could move from platonic to something more. I agree with Ryan that it is important for platonic male relationships that allow both parties to be vulnerable with each other are important. That is the only way we will help end toxic masculinity. However, I think it is also important to show that relationships that began from platonic friendships can be some of the strongest relationships. All the other pairings (minus Maddie and Chim even though it was clear that they were both romantically interested in each other from the start they remained friends until she was ready to move on from an abusive relationship) started out as romantic interest right out of the gate.

If Buddie happens the way I hope it happens, I have to believe that for both Buck and Eddie, it will be a little “Oh, there you are. I’ve been searching for you.” moment. It may even not be a huge crisis, but more something that has Eddie going to Frank like “so I am in love with my best friend. It doesn’t weird me out like I feel it should. But what worries me is he is such an important part of my life, of my son’s life, I couldn’t handle losing him”

Sorry for just seeing this now. I was at work and couldn’t look at my phone. Great right up anon.

[gadriezmannsgirl]

hii honey how are you? how would you feel about writing something for antoine? like where he wants to ask reader out because he’s in love with her but she comes from a difficult relationship (it could be her ex was violent or he cheated) and so she’s not ready to date again but antoine being the kind man he is he’s ready to wait for reader for all the time she needs? thank you so much :)))

I feel absolutely incredible writing for Antoine. I'm gonna take the cheating option because I don't write about violence, disorders and those kinds of stuffs, 'cus I don't feel comfortable doing those kind of scenarios. And dk if it was just me but the request has gotten me "When You're Ready" by Shawn Mendes and "I'll be Waiting" by Cian Ducrot feels. So OF COURSE I'LL DO IT.

Also, what a game Atlético had against Sevilla 6-1 and of course Anto scored😌🇨🇵 (Also, I know I'm a bit late but Uni wants to kick my ass; I don't let it tho)

I really hope you like this, please let me know what you think!

°°° °°° °°° °°°

When You're Ready, I'll be Waiting - Antoine Griezmann

Summary: He's willing to wait for you for all the time you need for as long as you need to.

°°° °°°

No. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to you. Not again. You couldn't give him what he wanted. You wouldn't allow yourself to fall again.

But you were kinda halfway through there.

And you wanted to stop it before it becomes too late and end up like the last time.

Alone and heartbroken.

"Please, don't get me wrong" You hurried up to say "I really like you too. And a lot!" You exclaimed before sighing "I just...-" You cut yourself off shaking your head "I'm-"

"It's fine, Y/I, it really is" Antoine said with a light smile on his face while grabbing your hands "I know..." You sighed looking straight into his blue eyes "And now, knowing you feel the same way, I'll wait for you"

"Yeah... I can't let you do that" You said shaking your head in disbelief "You're too good for me and you don't need to be waiting for my ass to get on its feet for a certain amount of time, when you can be happy and free with anyone else"

"But I don't want anyone else, I want you" He said with a smile on his face "And I will wait for you. Always. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here. For now, we can be friends and I'll be okay with it"

This wasn't the first time you felt a tug on your heart while being around Antoine.

You worked as part of the medical team in Atlético de Madrid, that was how you guys met each other. How you guys ended up becoming friends? That you didn't quite know for sure.

It maybe could've started with the usual player's check up, after some visits Antoine started cracking some jokes here and there managing to make you laugh and eventually hyping you up to say some jokes back.

Soon, it turned to asking for your phone number and then the texting came, at first it was a random times at day and only once a every two days but soon it started to become more frequently until you came to the way you were today.

During a night out that the guys had invited you, they had asked you personal questions wanting to get to know you better, after all, you only had six months working for them and they felt you were like a mystery because they didn't knew anything but your full name.

During those questions, your love life appeared, asked by Bea, Koke's wife.

"Any boyfriend? Fiance? Husband?" You shook your head lightly

"All single" You replied with a soft smile on

"Why? You're truly beautiful!" Ángel Correa's wife, Sabrina Di Marzo exclaimed impressed as you only lifted your shoulders shrugging

"Maybe some men don't see me that way" You said softly remembering how your last relationship ended

"Oh, but they are just assholes, I'm pretty sure about it" Antoine had said from besides you as everyone around the table agreeded with him

"You'll see, the right man for you will appear in the least moment you're expecting him" Yannick said with a soft smile

"He will" Antoine nodded at his words

"Yes, sure" You said before taking a sip from your glass of wine.

Maybe it was the little alcohol, maybe it was just you but you swear you could see in Antoine's eyes something and that was the first time your heart felt something you hadn't felt in the past eight months.

You recognized that feeling and you wanted it away.

But the thing was, you couldn't push Antoine away.

You tried to set your mind in work, see the players as patients and nothing else, but Antoine had other plans in mind, asking you to his house for a BBQ with his family, see Disney movies with his kids and what you thought it was friendly, it wasn't.

That's how you came here, in his house doing some red velvet cake as he let his feelings out for you.

And you liked him. A lot. You could see yourself being with him, but you didn't allowed it yourself. You weren't ready for a relationship. You didn't wanted to be broken again. You didn't wanted to cry yourself at night to sleep, you didn't wanted to feel alone after having company. You didn't wanted to mess up your friendship with a wonderful man, like Antoine is. But most important of all, you didn't wanted to feel how your ex made you feel, ever again.

You were scared. And it seemed like Antoine knew it.

"Don't worry, I'll wait and I'll help you heal. So you can be yourself again and never have afraid and I'll be here listening to you for everything you need" He said with a soft smile on, you were left shocked watching him impressed.

He knew how to read you from top to bottom.

"How'd you know that?" You asked watching him shrug a bit

"You're easy for me to read?" He asked with a smile making you crack on by yourself. You opened your mouth to speak but no words came out "You don't need to explain yourself if you don't feel comfortable" He quickly said as you smiled lightly

A comfortable silence stepped in between the two of you as you smiled at each other

"Thank you" You said softly "Want some?" You offered him some dough that was stick to the bowl as he inserted his finger and ate some of it.

You truly were in a bit of trouble if he keep on being like this

Three months have passed since then and things between the two of you were normal, just like before but now Antoine doesn't hide the fact he is attracted to you.

He tells you how beautiful he thinks you look, notices if you changed your nails color, compliments your hair, brings you your morning drink, some snack or just simply shares a small smile and tells you an 'We can talk later, sounds good?' and when you get overwhelmed, he's the first one to calm you down.

You were starting to look forward those later, you wanted to see him arrive at Civitas Metropolitano, laugh and spend time with him. He made you feel incredibly good.

Like no one else has done.

And meanwhile you liked that feeling, you still had your big doubts about it. You knew Antoine wasn't that kind of man, but you couldn't help it.

Today, it was a check up day. You had already checked up half of the team, cracking jokes and listening to any dolence of theirs and giving them recomendations, solutions and filling in their records when it was Antoine's turn.

"Hello" You said smiling bright watching him smile right back at you

"Hola" He said closing the door after him and giving you a one arm hug

"What do you have on your back?" You asked laughing slightly after his attempts to hide something

"Why are you noisy?" He asked back in between laughs

"Oh, I'm sorry!" You laughed pulling your hands up "Sorry" You shook your head

"I'm just kidding" He said pulling out his arm and showing you a little bouquet of sunflowers "Hope you like them" You inmediately smiled and nodded accepting the flowers

"They are beautiful" You said nodding "And my favorites too"

"Straight on point" He said raising his fist up in victory, you laugh lightly "How's your day going?" He asked while pulling his shirt up his head.

You smiled telling him about your day, a few events, nothing too exciting as his day probably was, but you loved the fact Antoine really cared for everything you had to say and acted as if everything was the biggest thing ever.

"I'm truly glad your niece is getting better. Hopefully we can go out with Mía and Amaro some day" He said after finishing pulling his shirt up

You smiled "Antoine" You softly said grabbing his attention

"What's up, chérie?" You stayed in silence for a while, looking at him.

You were processing everything, the rights, the wrongs, the pros and cons.

You wanted to give him a chance, you were happier with him. You weren't going to let some asshole, ruin your whole love life.

"My ex... He cheated on me" You started and paused for a long while, mentally ranking all the words from your head down your mouth, hoping they make some sense

"Y/N, you don't need to-" You cut him off by shaking your head with a smile

"He cheated on me with my best friend, said that the only thing I cared about was my job and basically how he thought I was fucking around with guys from my past work and that, that was the reason he cheated on me" You shook your head "That was bullshit" You said grading his response "I was truly and deeply in love with him and he simply broke four years of relationship in three months. It hurt me a lot because I really thought: 'This will be the man I want to marry and have kids with'" You shrugged your shoulders with a light smile

"I was-am" You corrected yourself "so afraid of falling in love again because I don't wanna end up broken hearted once more" You looked straight into his eyes stopping yourself from a moment "But... When I see you" You smiled "I can see myself doing everything next to you"

Antoine smiled lightly grabbing your hand "I like you so much" You said laughing lightly "And meanwhile I know you're not like my ex or any other kind of guy... I'm still afraid because I don't wanna mess anything up between us" You said smiling a bit "But I wanna be happy, I'll allow that to myself. Because I need it, I want it and I'm worthy of it"

"So... If are still on that waiting... If you still want me to go out with you someday, I just wanted to let you know that I'll love to do so"

Antoine smiled widely, he let go of your hands to wrap his arms around you and left a kiss on your cheek

"I'll always be ready whenever you are. This is our story, needs to be done with both of our ways but together as one. I will always wait for you" You smiled hugging him back "And get ready for the best date of your life" You laughed lightly "And thank you for trusting me with your past"

"Thank you for making me realize I have to give myself some priority and many chances as I'd like"

Antoine, proudly showed you his palm as you giggled unwrapping one of your arms from him to high-five him "That's my girl"

[regular-lord-reckoner]

it has been a looooooong week, one of those where it feels like it's an entire month long

for starters, sometime last week i had a really busy day and finally stopped to take a shower because i'd been doing so much and was sweating all over the place and turns out...we didn't have any hot water !!

unfortunately the closet under the stairs where the water heater tank is at was where i put a bunch of stuff i pulled out of the laundry room until we could sort through it so i had to move all of that stuff AGAIN just to get to the tank but i was able to reset it and since then we've had hot water (albeit for shorter periods of time)

we had a plumber come out today anyway because of a leak with the ac unit line that he found last time he was here fixing a leak in my mom's shower so i told him about the water heater thing also.

he came out once before when this happened and was able to patch it, but we knew even then it was probably on its way out and he said he's been replacing a lot of those lately because they're getting to that point (i wanna say the one that's in there now is the one we had when we first moved in so....makes sense and my dad did say before he died that it was on its way out).

that'll probably be something for after the first of the year, just fingers crossed we're able to have enough hot water until then

the second thing is that on sunday our refrigerator started leaking !!

at first it was just a little bit, so little in fact i thought it was just from the doggo's water bowl that had gotten kicked by accident but it quickly progressed to the point where we started having to put towels down and even then it's like....every two hours they end up completely drenched and it's time to swap them out for new ones

that's been a big part of what my week has been, gathering up a bunch of sopping wet towels and throwing them in the wash and keeping the cycle going

even with that for the past two nights by the time my mom and i get up in the morning there's still a trail of water seeping out from beyond that (last night i put three right at the source and another one just beyond that and they were all completely soaked)

fortunately an appliance guy came out (same guy who fixed the dryer not too long ago) and he said he thinks it was from the water filter

i know it's probably been like...a year or more since i mentioned that it needed to be changed but we never got around to it and he showed me on the filter he pulled out where it was worn down and between that and the higher water pressure from the last time the plumber was here i think that may have been the issue

after the plumber finally left i ran to lowes and got another filter to replace the old one. i got it installed and so far so good, there doesn't appear to be any more leaking so fingers crossed that was indeed the issue and it's not something more serious !!

oh also, when he was pulling the fridge out we realized there's a bunch of broken glass back there so i got in there and tried to sweep as much of it up as i could and then mopped up all the water that was there as well

we're going to keep the fridge pulled out from the wall for a day and i've got a box fan running back there to try to help it from getting any more moldy than what it already is but just....jesus christ what a shit show

not to mention, too that i'm pretty sure we've got mold upstairs and downstairs at this point just as is. some of it's probably from that leaky ac line but i think there's also some especially in my room from where the doors i have that go outside don't close all the way because i can definitely see it on the outside part just above the door so like....that's neat

i've mentioned it several times and it's still one of our top priorities as far as getting things around here fixed but we kinda need everything else to stop breaking for one goddamn second so that we can actually address that !! that would be awesome

oh and i'm also pretty sure there's something wrong with the wiring upstairs. that's an issue i'm not sure when we'll get to or if something notable has to happen first but just based on a few things i've noticed it wouldn't surprise me

also the other day i heard a really loud sound coming from the attic, it sounded a lot like my bathroom fan but on steroids and at first i thought it was the upstairs ac unit and was like jesus christ, that's all we need right now but turns out it was just the attic fan ??

mom said something about how we're supposed to go up there and turn it on and off depending on the season, i think but as far as i know it's just....been on this entire time so we turned it off for now and she's going to text my uncle who does hvac and see what he says about it but that was pretty odd

all of this to say.....i am exhausted !!

like i know this is an older house and we should be grateful we haven't had a bunch of issues up until this point, but now it's almost like they're all coming to a head right now and it's just a lot trying to keep up with what needs to be fixed now and what's breaking next and just....yeah

(not to mention i'm also just kinda getting sick of my work days revolving around waiting for repair people....)

but !! hopefully sooner rather than later we can get all of this taken care of and definitely take care of the mold thing before it gets any worse and maybe then my mom and i can both relax a little

speaking of her and relaxing, actually, she's apparently going to be meeting up with one of her gentlemen callers as i've started referring to them as

he's actually flying in next week from california and she's not really ready to bring him here and didn't want to thrust that on me (which i appreciate), so they're going to get a hotel room and spend the weekend together and then he'll fly back on monday

i maaaaaay go out and meet them somewhere at some point. maybe.

it's just kinda hard still to wrap my head around her being with someone who isn't my dad and while i do want her to be happy and this guy seems like a nice guy (he kinda reminds me of my dad a little bit...) it's just....a lot. especially so soon, so....we'll see how that goes.

on the bright side, i get the place to myself for a little bit so i guess that'll be nice (even though i'm honestly going to be a little worried about her the whole time until she gets back but i'm going to try to power through it)

despite all of the !!!!!! lately, i do have a bit of good news to end this on !!

i've officially applied to graduate school to see about getting my masters in library science so that i can become a librarian !!

my application has been sent off and i've already got one of my letters of recommendation done (i asked both of my managers if they would send one and surprisingly the one i didn't think liked me all that much actually wrote me a really sweet one and already sent it in) so we're just waiting on the other one but i already talked to someone on the phone today who gave me an overview of the program and what tuition would be and what my classes would be like (they're all online!) and all of that so i think this is really happening !!

it should hopefully only take me 18 months to complete and it seems like my classes will probably being either around 7 or 9 pm when i get done with work so i'm gonna be a busy little bee for a while, but knowing it's only 18 months should help get me through it and then before we know it i'll be a librarian :D

i'm honestly really excited about this, i know libraries are going to be on the chopping block here soon but i just feel like this is the right thing for me right now. wish i had done it sooner, but i'm trying to trust the timing of everything

hell, we have enough books in this house alone that i could probably start my own little library if they become a thing of the past so having that skill set might be applied there, but i would really like to actually get into an established one before anything happens to them and start serving the community that way

so yeah, that's what's been going on with me !!

it's been.....a lot, but i'm trying to stay positive about it all and look forward to what's coming in the future !

admittedly, though, i am very glad this week is finally over, especially today.

as soon as the first repair guy left the phone starting ringing and first it was someone calling about this one thing from a court case my dad was part of (i think it was one of those asbestos cases) and unfortunately before they can give us any settlements from that they need everyone who would be receiving some money to fill out all this paperwork and while my mom and i did ours a long time ago we haven't been able to get any of my siblings or nieces to do theirs so they left a message today saying it's going to go before the judge and i guess we'll see what happens with that. i'd imagine if they still intend to split it up amongst all of us that it won't be that much, but you never know and it would be nice to just get a random check every so often so fingers crossed that works out but i only mention that to say that as that message was being left the phone started ringing again and it was someone from the university i applied to calling to go over everything with me so i had to stop cleaning up broken glass and water mess to talk to them

(i actually got a spam call beeping in during that phone call so i ignored it but still just...by the time i got off that phone call i said out loud, "i just need one more goddamn thing to overstimulate me right now, just one more thing !!!" ...fortunately i got to have a few minutes there where nothing happened and i got to finish my cleaning before getting back to work so that was nice)

a few minutes later the plumber shows up to start doing his repairs and he was here for a few hours working on that so between all of that plus running out to lowe's and changing the water filter myself plus thursday just generally being a busy day for me as is (it's also the day i give our doggo a bath and wash his bedding), on top of non-stop towel washing and drying all week i am....worn out

it took me a few days to do my application because i had to wait on my transcript from ksu (which fortunately didn't take too long) but i had to finish it last night because my browser would have timed out my progress and i would have had to start all over again so yesterday as soon as i got done with work i had to type up a 500 word essay about why i wanted to apply for this program and why i think i'd be a good candidate and how my professional experience has helped with that, etc., etc.

so yeah, it's been....a long one and i hope to god nothing else breaks over the weekend so i can just....relax. :P

tomorrow i think i'm going to get up early, take the trash to the dump and then see about getting my oil changed since it's about that time (i also keep hearing a voice in my head saying i need to get my tires rotated so i should probably do that as well).

after that i'm going to do a little more christmas shopping (i'm actually doing surprisingly well this year, normally by this time i'm shaking, sweating and throwing up trying to figure out what to get everyone and if it'll get here on time by the time i finally make up my mind), i'm going to get some groceries and then probably pick up some food because fuck having to cook after all of that and then i'm going to come home and turn my brain off for the rest of the weekend (hopefully) :3

i hope if you're reading this that you're doing well and taking care of yourself and i hope everyone has a nice, relaxing weekend up ahead (or as relaxing as possible) <3

[marshmallowprotection]

Thinking Thoughts about mysme once again and they started to overlap.

So, I feel like it's pretty likely that V has some scars from the fire when his mom died. The house was fully on fire when his mom went to save him. And there's one chat, for the life of me I can't remember which, where V mentions he doesn't like taking off his clothes in front of people (which made me start thinking it).

Also I looked through all the album images and what title screens I could find, V is almost always wearing long sleeves. There's a handful of times where his sleeves are rolled up (mostly title screens, and usually still below the elbows). there's one (1) image where he's in short sleeves without a jacket and it's one of the defaced pictures Ray sent to the RFA so it's not super visible (but honestly even if they showed V without scars cheritz can't stop me. Like the twins are also covered in scars. they can give us all the tank top saeyoung they want but i KNOW he's got scars)

ANYWAY so... VAE. V is the one who goes back to Magenta and gets Saeran out of the wreckage and runs off with him (a thought that came later: I wonder how he felt walking through burned ruins, hoping someone survived such pure destruction). There's a lot of complicated feelings between V and everyone else--ESPECIALLY the twins--but I wonder. Towards the end of that two years. He and Saeran must be at some sort of peace. Saeran's physical wounds are... healed, as much as they really can be. The scars will stay.

Maybe one day V just rolls his sleeves up or tugs his shirt collar aside or something, just enough to show Saeran he's not alone. He knows how it feels to burn long, long after the flames have gone out. The only other person who's seen his scars is Rika (And probably Jumin, either in the hospital after the fire or by accident over the years). Not the rest of the RFA, not even MC yet.

I don't know how to word it but just. that... A sense of not being alone or just being seen when you see someone with wounds similar to your own. They're not exactly the same, no two wounds can be, but on some level you both understand it.

Finally. God. Do you know how long I've been trying to advocate for Jihyun's burn scars by putting them in countless stories? There's no wrong answer for the placement of the scars, but I've always thought that they were on his back and likely patches of his arms. Jihyun is a modest guy in general, so it makes sense why he doesn't show much of his body off, but when you add in the accident with the fire... well, I think his being insecure about his scars would make sense.

It's not even that the scars make him feel bad about his reflection. Those scars are a mark that reminds him his mother is dead every time he looks at him. No wonder he wants to cover up. His life went through a change that nobody will ever understand when he lost her. His personality changed, he withdrew, and he started to hold back on everything because that grief wrecked him in ways that he still hasn't started to unpack by the time you encounter him.

Between feeling insecure about himself and carrying a constant reminder that his mother died for him; You can only imagine what things must be like in his head for years. The accident happened when he was a teenager. Somewhere between the ages of 16-18, that's the only definitive answer I've got on that. By the time MC comes around, Jihyun is 25.

That's almost ten years of carrying shame and self-hatred. We all know how he feels about his mother, but imagining him carrying every scar like it's a punishment for not "loving his mother enough," now, that's hard to stomach. I sympathize with him. Learning how to love himself is going to come with the price of learning how to accept his scars, too. In the same way that Saeran and Ray have to learn how to accept theirs.

I truly believe that Jihyun would've shown his scars to him at some point. He fights hard to help Saeran, but I just know he's going to be quick to run out of answers within the first couple of months and he'll have to resort to thinking outside the box. He'll have to learn that the best way to get through to Saeran is to show him, not tell him. Words are empty to him given what he went through. You need to show him what you're made of.

That's why revealing his scars would be crucial in the healing process.

Imagine Saeran and/or Ray lashing out at V for months because they are angry, afraid, and want nothing to do with this healing that Jihyun is selling. They fight him every step of the way and there's nothing the man can do to stop it. V would be at his wit's end. He would have to try and find something else.

An angry cry of: "You can't even begin to understand my pain, V! You'll never know what it's like to carry these scars!"

Jihyun will have no choice but to roll back the fabric and show Saeran the weight of his worst trauma. "...I'm afraid I understand more than you'll ever know."

No words will be spoken between them about that. Only thoughts of pain and confusion because Saeran didn't know that V had scars like that. V will give him space for a while before Saeran comes back to his side to ask about the scars, and to learn about the story that comes with it... so that's how they open up to each other and finally start to have a healthy dialogue about everything and anything that happened to them.

[emilyprentitts]

The Way it is Now.

This is my first post of drabble. I’m rewatching CM at the moment because I miss the young BAU. 

This is just writing I suppose, missing Spencer and who he was before.

*no gender of narrator given. this is so non specific i’m sorry. take it as you want. word count: 861*

I remember the first time I saw him, so so clearly. But he’s so different now. I wish I could go back and hold him once more, the innocent Reid I once knew that craved me in the most endearing, gentle yet intense way. 

After everything he’s not quite the same. Sometimes I get a glimpse of the boy genius, but not very often. On his 24th birthday, Hotch said, “Isn’t is amazing what he knows and he’s only 24?”, with which Gideon replied, “Imagine what he’ll know when he’s 50.”  I think about that a lot. Did Jason curse him with that statement, because Reid knows far too much now. Not just things in theory, but he has experienced things he could have gone his whole life without knowing.

He’s colder now. Not in a cruel way, but something is missing. It’s not very often that he rambles; if he does he’s not particularly interested in what he’s saying, merely saying it because he thinks it may be helpful. He doesn’t talk about Halloween anymore, or play chess with anybody but himself, or go to those weird Russian plays. Don’t get me wrong his hair looks good messy, but I know it’s not a choice - it’s because he can’t be bothered anymore. 

I think Cat Adams really tipped him over the edge. He’s teaching right now, I know that much. There would have been a time where I would know how he was doing, or what he was reading, or what he had for lunch.. you name it I probably knew about it. We were pretty close in the beginning, I joined the BAU pretty early, not as early as him but early enough, so we stuck together and learned from each other. We got so far as hookups once. I know that sounds like there was no love there, but trust me there was. It would have been a relationship if we were allowed, I mean it’s not like the team didn’t know but nobody said anything either to keep the peace or because they knew we needed each other then. Or maybe, somehow, they knew it would all fall apart. 

Ever since Tobias Hankel, he didn’t have the same charm. It’s almost like, over the years you can see life make him wither away. He was clingy after Emily ‘died’ and came back, he needed stability and I was there, maybe just as a friend looking back on it. Then Gideon died. The only father figure he had was actually gone. I think he pretended it didn’t hurt him as much as he’d like to admit, he became distant then. Then, well, Cat Adams. He was so distant, yet so passionate about me. He wasn’t romantic anymore, just there. I could feel the love but I think the ability to love was wiped out of him. How could he love himself enough to love me after he kissed the woman that ruined his life completely? That was kind of what she was good at though, almost the femme fatale of his story. 

I hate that this is how I talk about him now. I am so sorry Spencer. You are the only person that I thought would never hurt me, you didn’t in a way, but at the same time you did. You didn’t leave me like my brain told me you would, but equally, you’re not here anymore. You are not the man I fell in love with, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.

[roadtodeltarune]

Earthbound Update 3

(PART 1)

I'm back! Some of you may have thought I abandoned this project, but you were wrong!

Where have I been? What have I been doing? Oh, I've been busy playing Earthbound! I knew I was close to the end, so I wanted to finish it before updating! I could have finished in a week, but I got distracted by other games and responsibilities. Now what exactly did I do in Earthbound?

Well last time, I cured Tenda Village's shyness. After making my last update, I tried their coffee and had another strange vision. But once my head cleared, I did some trading and then hopped into the cave.

As I figured, this was my next Sanctuary Location. The boss wasn't very tough; he was blasted to bits by a multi-bottle rocket and some good bashes. The hardest part was the maze of a cave!

We had a strange moment of Straw's(Ness) thoughts being beamed to a wall, then jumped down a hole into the Underworld.

This place is huge! And there are dinosaurs here! I wanted to avoid them since I felt strong enough already, but they were just too big, they kept blocking my path. It's actually so huge here that I had to look up a map. I also got lost in the first five minutes and was walking in circles, so a map helped a lot.

I feel like this should be a bigger moment, but didn't Buzz Buzz already say something about being in a prophecy? I guess it's good to remember the scale of our journey. Welp, time for the last Sanctuary Location!

Well, that was a fever dream...

The Fire Spring wasn't too hard to go through, the Psychic Psychos were more so just annoying. The final Sanctuary Boss felt like a good final boss, though, that fight was lots of fun.

As for all the melodies playing together, they sounded very pretty. I feel like they fit together better than Mother 1, but I hope there is, or will be, an orchestrated version like Mother 1 has.

The sequence afterward of Straw going through his home and seeing how much his parents loved him... Man, that hit me right in the feels. At the end of Mother 1, I came to the conclusion that this series is about love. Spoiler: I come to the same conclusion with Earthbound.

MAGICANT?! How is Magicant here! I thought it was Mary's dreamscape and it faded when she accepted death. Is... Is Mary still around? Is that why the melodies are back?

I think I like the aesthetic of this Magicant more. The old one was pretty, but this one feels more peaceful, and the color shifting adds to the magic/dream aspect.

Plus all the veggies remind me of my Mother 1 characters: Carrot, Onion, Potato, and Beet.

Is this true or is this what Straw thinks is happening with Pokey? Is he really, truly a bad guy?

Rest in peace, Buzz Buzz. We'll win this war for you.

The Flying Men! It's good to see them again! Oh no, wait, I don't want them to die

Interesting... My personal explanation for this is that the statue brought out the worst in people, so it uses the evil part of your brain; but I also think Straw just views it as the worst evil he's fought so far.

Hi, I'm back here. I died to the statue. This seemed impossible, just like Belch, so I looked up some tips and a map. I found that I just needed a bunch of Dragonite, so I got some from storage. I also got an extra Earth Pendant for Apple (Jeff)

Wow! Dragonite is strong! I got lucky though, he didn't heal in this second attempt. If he would have, I might have lost.

Like how Grape (Poo) had his training that, to me, like he was reaching his personal enlightenment, I feel the same for this moment. It feels like Straw is taking everything that's happened to him and learning a great lesson that's left up for interpretation, whether it's a lesson on Love, Determination, Destiny, overcoming Evil, or all of the above.

This also makes me think that Magicant is a by-product of the Melodies, meaning Mary must have been in Magicant for decades, waiting for Carrot(NinTen) to restore peace to her and help her move on.

[yawnjunie]

Chapter 1 (Little Orchid Had Basically Imploded)

Little Orchid sat in the jail cell, staring at the girl outside that sat in intense meditation, who was so silent that even the sound of breathing could not be heard. How many days has it been… Little Orchid stuck out her chin, expressing great concern. That dude outside… is he even breathing properly? If he dies like that it would suck so much for me to just be stuck here alone!

Plus, the body outside is her actual body!

And the one she’s in right now…

Little Orchid grabbed the long hair that fell to her waist, and used her huge hands to rub her flat chest for the hundredth time. “It’s. So… firm.” She choked out.

Those few syllables came out of her mouth in the deep, rasp voice of a man, and it echoed throughout the Hao Tian Tower. But the sound disrupted the long-held silence, as the woman outside the cell finally exhaled. With her eyes still closed, she said, “Little flower demon, if you feel my body up one more time, I will not hold back from doing the same to you.”

“You’re so whiny. What’s wrong with touching your chest, you’re literally a grown man…” Little Orchid trailed off, suddenly feeling a wave of heat over her face. “Ayo hold on, where did you think I was touching? Ew! You’re actually so disgusting!”

The woman’s almond-shaped eyes opened, and her face held an expression that was completely out of place with her features. “He” chuckled sarcastically, “A girl who can say something like that can hardly be so innocent herself.”

Little Orchid blew a raspberry at Dong Fang Qing Cang, before taking a breath and finding something new to squabble with him about. “By the way, aren’t you the primordial Demon Lord? Legend says that you were quite the “stealth-lord.” He lifted an eyebrow, causing her to gulp before she continued, “If… if you’re that smart and stealthy, then you should have some way to get out of here…”

Dong Fang Qing Cang closed his eyes once more. “If you want to leave, start by not making this harder for me.”

Little Orchid’s eyes widened in anger. “The one in the cage is me! How is this making things harder for you? If you want to talk about making things harder, I think you’re the number one, super expert at making everyone’s lives so much harder!”

If not for him, why would she be here right now, stuck in the Hao Tian Tower? Why else would she go from a small, orchid girl to a rough, barbarian of a man… to be fair though, this demon guy does have really delicate and soft skin… and a nice body… and nice hair… and pretty features… and long fingers… with pretty fingernails…

Little Orchid shook her head vigorously. “…in any case! If not for you unlucky demon, I wouldn’t be stuck in such a horrible place!”

“Unlucky?“ Dong Fang Qing Cang’s eyes reduced to slivers. “Addressing me as such, I see you really have some guts.”

Seeing those eyes that were clearly her own yet now somehow had the most frightening gaze, Little Orchid felt her insides freeze up and her stomach churn. Maybe, just maybe, her kidneys were beginning to fail too. But the bars of the cage in front of her gave her the courage to retort him. She puffed up her cheeks and huffed, “If you’re so powerful, try hitting me!”

Upon hearing that, Dong Fang Qing Cang’s face broke into a smile. He grabbed the hair that was neatly draped over his shoulders, and before the tongue-tied orchid could say anything, her hair fell to the ground with a snap and a swish.

She sat there, totally frozen.

M-my hair…..

Dong Fang Qing Cang played with the cut hair in his hand, “You don’t have the brightest head around here, though your hair did grow out pretty nicely.” Once he finished, he casually tossed away the hair. Her luscious black locks, like the tail of a peacock, beautifully spread across the ground. Dong Fang Qing Cang sat there, toying with the hair that had already been sliced to ear-length. Sitting back now with his legs crossed, he flashed her the most outrageously cruel smile, “How’s that? You forgot that right now, you’re in my hands.”

What a monster! A perverted, sick-in-the-head monster!

Little Orchid felt her knees give out as she looked at the ground littered with her cut hair. Finding the heart-wrenching pain unbearable, she burst into tears. After crying for a while, she decided that she wanted to seek revenge. Angrily, she ferociously stared him down. “I’m not done with you yet!”

Little Orchid reached behind her and grabbed a strand of those long, silver locks. Imitating Dong Fang Qing Cang, she tried snapping her fingers.

That made her want to cry even more.

Inside this guy’s body, she had no way of doing any magic. She had no idea if it was because she had no idea how to control the power, or if she had no powers at all.

As if Dong Fang Qing Cang had anticipated it all along, his smile grew even bigger. “Good luck cutting off my hair! You might need to cultivate for another good 10,000 years to do that.”

Little Orchid grit her teeth. “I don’t buy a single word you say!” As she spoke, she grabbed a few strands of his hair and yanked really hard, pulling them out completely. The pain sent shivers down her spine. Dong Fang Qing Cang froze, and his smile waned a bit. Pretending to not feel the pain, she mimicked his evil smirk, “Today I shall make you bald.”

His face visibly darkened. “Stop it.”

Before he could finish, she plucked another four or five strands of hair from his head.

Dong Fang Qing Cang’s eyes narrowed. “If you continue to be so reckless, I will fracture your elbow.”

Hearing that made her blood boil. “If you break my elbow, I’m going to slit your throat!”

“Speak another word and I’ll slice your tongue off!”

”Do that, and I’ll have no choice but to castrate you!”

Having no comeback to her last remark, he grew silent. The two of them sat and stared at each other for so long that Little Orchid felt her eyes become sore. She shifted her gaze, and blinked a couple of times, taking in the image of her hair that was strewn across the ground.

She felt upset and wronged, and totally helpless to do anything about the situation. So she chose to bury her head in her knees and bawl her eyes out.

It’s gone.

I’ll never be able to tie up my hair in pretty braids, or put cute flowers in my hair ever again. All thanks to this demon guy, I’ll have to live out the rest of my life in this sad jail cell… I have nothing else to live for…

From outside the cell, Dong Fang Qing Cang saw the girl curl up into a ball in his body and let out the most agonizing sobs with his deep, husky voice.

He couldn’t even describe how dismayed he felt at the sight.

“You’re not allowed to cry.” He requested rigidly.

She was so heartbroken that hearing that made her cry even harder.

To Dong Fang Qing Cang, her cries sounded like the claws of ghosts scratching at the insides of his head. It more intolerable than the feeling of Chi Di’s black ice needles coursing through his veins.

“Get up!” He commanded.

Little Orchid lifted up her head, face covered in tears and snot. “Give me back my hair!”

Seeing his own face in such a mess, he did his best to contain his shock. “You get up first!”

“Give me back my hair first!”

“Fine! Here!” Dong Fang Qing Cang flicked his wrist and all the cut hair on the ground flew up, and each strand filed neatly back onto her head where it belonged. It only took a moment for her hair to neatly cascade down her back and be perfectly restored to its original state.

She stared dumbfounded at her newly reconnected hair, so amazed that she had totally forgot about seeking revenge. “Since when was my body able to do magic like that…”

The man in her body only flashed her a look of disdain. “Clean up that face of yours for me.”

Now that her long hair was restored, she wasn’t so sad anymore, so she started to wipe her face down with her sleeves.

Dong Fang Qing Cang sat back down and looked at her, “Being able to successfully threaten me… you really are the first person in history to do that.” He sighed, with a strange tone of admiration.

“You are also the first person in history to make me cry with the voice of a man.” She wiped her face with exasperation. “I don’t want to stay with you for a minute longer! Do you even know how to get out of this tower?”

“Of course I do.”

“What’s the plan?”

“We blow this tower up.” He said nonchalantly, as if it were as easy as killing a mosquito.

Little Orchid was absolutely dumbstruck, hanging her head down sadly. “That’s it. I’m never going to see my master ever again in this life.”

Who could blame her? Hao Tian Tower was a primordial celestial object, and it was no easy feat to blow it up. Besides, they switched bodies, and she had no way of determining the power contained in his body; even if she were able to tell, she wouldn’t be able to use his demonic powers anyways.

But Dong Fang Qing Cang…

Little Orchid could only let out a laugh. She knew exactly what she was capable of, and even though he was able to completely restore her hair, it wouldn’t change the fact that her body only had a tiny bit of power from her few hundred years of cultivation. With that power, it would be a piece of cake to kill a couple of small demons. But to explode the Hao Tian Tower? Maybe, after hundreds of thousands of years of more cultivation.

The tip of her nose felt a bit acrid, as she recalled the moment she first met Dong Fang Qing Cang. She really gave up her whole life in exchange for that moment of curiosity.

“How are you stupid enough to still be stuck here? Since you’ve already switched into my body, you could’ve stayed that way and ran out,” She explained regretfully. “Then when you got out, we could’ve switched back and our chances of escaping would’ve been much greater.”

He scoffed. “Doesn’t the heavenly realm love to boast about their moral altruism and selflessness? But to escape, you would go as far as to ‘switching back’ with me once I got out? You really trust me to not wreak havoc in the outside world, and burn all life as we know it to the ground?” Dong Fang Qing Cang leaned in, imitating her posture. “Where’s your integrity, hmm?”

Pouting, Little Orchid replied, “I already thought about that. That’s the job of the guards out there and the Heavenly Emperor. My master once told me that the worst thing a person could do was to steal another person’s job. So nope! It’s not my problem anymore once you get out there.”

Dong Fang Qing Cang rubbed his chin, deep in thought. After a moment of silence, he finally said, “How about you join me and enter the ranks of the demons? Seems to me you have quite a few qualifications, little flower demon.”

“Nope! My master would feed me to the pigs.” She paused, then let out a deep sigh. “But if I’m in here, she can’t really feed me to the pigs… If only you’d stayed out there, you might’ve had a chance of getting the demon bad guys to help you out. Now you’re stuck in the tower alone with me with no one to depend on, with no chance of escaping ever again…”

“Who told you there’s no one here to help us.” He said, looking at her quietly.

Little Orchid froze. “If we’re not alone, who else is here?” She looked around, searching for any signs of life.

Inside the tower, there was a spiral staircase that hugged the inner wall. The center was empty, save for the shining orb that hovered overhead. With the way the place was structured, one could pretty much take in everything at a glance. If there really were other people there, it should be more obvious.

Dong Fang Qing Cang smiled again, showing off that annoying grin. Apparently, having another person live in your body was really quite the experience. As Little Orchid pondered over who else could possibly be in the tower, she heard Dong Fang Qing Cang mutter under his breath, “It’s about time.”