#He's currently 25 and I don't have much of an explanation for her | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cantcompetewhereudontcompare · 18 days ago

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Fine Line lyric analysis

I have too many plates spinning at the same time, but I was having a conversation with a friend about this last night, and she encouraged me to make a post about it. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind ever since.

The original theory isn't mine, or my friend's, or even from the group chat we were talking on, but a compilation of different things we've seen around for a while and that we started to chat about a while ago. Apologies if whoever originally thought about any of this sees this post and recognizes anything about it, not meaning to steal anything

The conversation came up the same way random themes come up in group chats, so I know perfectly well it's random to bring it up now.

As we all know, most of Fine Line (the album) is about Harry's ex girlfriend Camille Rowe.

This was on the back of the album

Which is a reference to Camille's tattoo

Not all songs on the album are about her, but we can infer (Harry hasn't confirmed anything) that most of them are.

This is the tracklist of the album, I'll add if I think it's about her or not next to the track.

Golden - About Camille

Watermelon Sugar - About Camille

Adore You - Maybe about Camille / Maybe not

Lights Up - Not about Camille

Cherry - About Camille

Falling - About Camille

To Be So Lonely - About Camille

She - Not about Camille

Sunflower, Vol. 6 - About Camille

Canyon Moon - About Camille

Treat People With Kindness - Not about Camille

Fine Line - Partially about Camille

First less address the ones not about her

Adore You

I think Adore You could be about her because thematically it fits (it's somewhat similar to Watermelon Sugar), but I think "brown skin" would be an odd descriptor for her (since she's not really known to even tan) plus the timing of it doesn't really fit.

We know he wrote Adore You in May 2019 because Amy Allen (co-writer of the song) posted about it in her stories at the time. This was about a year after he and Camille broke up, when Camille had been dating Theo (her current boyfriend) for a long time.

Absolutely not impossible that it's about her, but I would say inconclusive. It could be just a feel-good song about finding infatuation again after being heartbroken. There's nothing in the song that points directly to her to make it conclusive.

Lights Up

Harry said this song is about self-reflection and self-discovery. I think it's an introspective song that's not about anyone other than himself.

She

I think it's a song similar to Lights Up in that it's about introspection. Harry hasn't said anything other than he wrote it while high on mushrooms.

Treat People With Kindness

Not much interpretation and explanation is necessary. It's a kooky song.

Now, the ones that are about her. There's a common misconception that the album is in chronological order and tells the story of a relationship, but that's not really true. Canyon Moon seems to be a happy song about missing her when things were well, and it's one of the last songs on the album.

My chronological order of the songs (and remember, everything here is speculation and interpretation).

1 - Watermelon Sugar 2 - Canyon Moon 3 - Golden 4 - Fine Line 5 - Falling 6 - To Be So Lonely 7 - Cherry 8 - Sunflower, Vol. 6

Watermelon Sugar

This one is self-explanatory because it gives you the timeframe in the song itself. "Baby you're the end of June." Obviously he's comparing the object of his desire to the summer season, but also, that's when he and Camille started dating.

We don't know exact dates or anything, but Camille started following Harry on Instagram between June 22 and June 25, according to this timeline of the relationship (Harry followed her first in 2016). Harry was first teased about the relationship live on the radio July 17th and they were first pictured together July 21st.

The name of the song is a nod to one of Camille's favorite books, 'In Watermelon Sugar' by Richard Brautigan, which Camille mentioned in this interview with Elle in August 2017

Harry said in his Tiny Desk performance that this book was in the studio while he was writing music and the title of the book inspired him. He has also said that the song came about while in a studio in Nashville in September 2017.

Canyon Moon

This song is, presumably, about late 2017, when Harry was first on tour solo and he and Camille were still in the honeymoon stage.

Camille lived in Beachwood Canyon with her BFF Lauren Cohan. This song is basically saying that while he's on tour, Harry misses those evenings with her, in her backyard, listening to music, surrounded by friends, under the moon.

The song references Kid Harpoon's wife Jenny. Kid Harpoon was Harry's good friend and producer. He and his wife became good friends with Camille.

"The world's happy waiting. Door's yellow, broken blue. I heard Jenny saying, 'Go get the kids from school.' And I keep thinking back to the time under the Canyon moon."

Essentially, the world is waiting for him, but he's on the phone with his girlfriend who's back home with his friends, and he overhears one of his friends talking in the background.

This is a video Camille posted on her Instagram stories while Harry was on tour. In it, she's hanging out with Jenny and Kid.

The song also references Camille's ex boyfriend Devendra Banhart.

"Quick pause in conversation, she plays songs I've never heard. An old lover's hippie music. Pretends not to know the words."

(A little bit of a dig at Devendra there too with the "songs I've never heard")

Camille and Devendra were together for about two years until right before she and Harry started dating, and he most definitely qualifies as "hippie music."

The entire song is about Harry anticipating getting back home to her. Harry toured Europe (which is referenced in the lyrics "through Paris or through Rome") twice, first in 2017 with small theater tours, and then in 2018 with bigger arena tours. This song seems to reference the first part of tour, in 2017, particularly because Camille was at Harry's show in Paris in 2018.

While Harry didn't do a show in Rome specifically in 2017, he did do a show in Milan. In fact, his European leg started in Paris and ended in Milan, and he had an off day right before the Milan show. Considering he has a lot of friends in Rome, he probably spent it there (also, Milan wouldn't have fit the metric of the song lol).

Camille was with Harry until right before he started this leg of tour, as she was in the audience with his family at his performance in We Can Survive (a cancer awareness concert), October 21st 2017.

October 25 till November 10 is exactly two weeks and two days. In the song he says "two weeks and I'll be home."

That said, Camille did join him for the last two dates of this tour, but most likely scenario, he wrote the song either during or about the beginning, when he was a little sad to be away from her for that time:

"Gotta see it to believe it, the sky's never looked so blue. So hard to leave it, but that's what I always do. So I keep thinking back to a time under the Canyon moon."

Perhaps at the time he wrote the song he didn't know she'd be joining him.

Golden

This is the beginning of the end, the dreading anticipation of what's about to come. In this song, Harry comes to terms with the fact that he doesn't see a lot of future in the relationship, and he's devastated by it.

"I don't wanna let you go. I don't wanna be alone when it ends."

It's daunting. A Chronicle of a Death Foretold.

This is obviously speculation because Camille hasn't said anything directly about it and Harry has only said anything through song, but we can infer because of other interviews and timing, that Harry was way more into her than she was into him. This is not a dig at either of them. Sometimes that just happens.

She was with Devendra for about two years and she said, while dating him, that she wanted to settle down with him. They abruptly broke it off in May/June 2017, and she immediately started dating Harry. We'll revisit the end of her and Harry's relationship in a little bit, but it shares similarities in the sense that she also seemingly moved on pretty fast.

Camille also recently revealed that she met Theo a year before they got together, but that they didn't get together at the time because they weren't mature enough to handle those feelings. This means that when she got with Harry, she had recently met Theo and seemingly had feelings for him. (She said this in her Elle France interview, which is not only in French but also not online, so I can't really link a source).

This in no way says anything about her or her character. It can happen to anyone, to dismiss a relationship with someone because it's too intense and you don't know how to handle it, and perhaps a relationship with someone else is more accessible. And it doesn't mean that this second person isn't important or that you're using them. It's just life.

But it would explain why Harry felt the way he did. He felt like he was "so open" and she, in turn, wouldn't open at all. At the time, Harry chalked it up to her having been hurt and ending up heartbroken before, but it could just be that he simply wasn't the right person for her. And that sucks, but once again, it's life.

Regardless of him knowing that it likely wasn't going to work out, he fell hard.

"But I can't feel you take a hold, I can feel you take control, of who am I and all I've ever known"

Harry and Camille met right about the time his stepfather, Robin, passed away. Robin passed June 20th 2017. In his song Ever Since New York, which is about finding out Robin was diagnosed with terminal cancer (he said this in a few interviews), he says "there's no antidote." In Golden he says "loving you's the antidote."

Of course falling for Camille wouldn't "cure" the fact that he's heartbroken by the loss of his stepfather, but it's very likely that falling in love on the heels of such a huge loss healed him a little bit, made him feel better at a terrible time. This is for another day, but in his song Daylight, off his third album, he mentions someone being/having an antidote again ("you got the antidote"). That song also seems to be about Camille.

Before I continue analyzing songs...

I should point out a little bit more about the timeline of events, especially because it will affect basically every song that comes after this.

Harry and Camille were seemingly in a good place until March 2018. I say "seemingly" because we do not know them, of course. She would post stuff on social media that alluded to him, or his friends, or follow his family. His family would follow and interact with her. She would go to shows, etc.

As I said before, Camille was in Paris for his second show in 2018 (his first show was in Basel). This was March 13 2018. In the following days, Camille would be spotted at his shows sporadically, or she would post Instagram stories from art galleries that happened to be in the cities he was touring.

For instance, she posted this pic March 21st 2018 (it's still up in her highlights), which is Untitled (cowboy) by Richard Prince, 1999, and it's exhibited in the Astrup Fearnley Museum of Modern Art in Oslo, Norway

Harry had a show in Oslo that same day

This happened a few times, so it's likely that Harry was arranging private showings at the museum to be with her while on tour. Keep this in mind.

Camille seemed to have gone back home after this. We don't know if she had work, if they had a fight, if she was homesick. We just know that she went home. And by going home she missed Harry's Home London and Manchester shows, which were April 9, 11, and 12, which were attended by his million of friends and family members.

That was odd, and it was also odd that they didn't seem to see each other at all for several weeks (particularly because he was writing whole songs about being away from her for two weeks a few months prior).

She did go to the venue of his show in Dublin, which was April 16 and was seen chatting with him while Mabel, the opener, was playing, but she apparently didn't stay for his actual show. The timeline I linked earlier claims that she flew to London with him afterwards, but that's... speculation based on nothing, as neither of them were spotted in London. She was usually spotted at the shows when she was there and she was not spotted at this one (even though she was spotted during the opening act).

Harry had a show in Perth, Australia, April 21st, and he was first spotted there at around 2 PM local time the 20th, which would be very early morning in London.

A nonstop flight from London to Perth is about 16/17 hours, putting him actually getting on the plane late night the 18th or early hours of the day the 19th. This to say, that the timeline I linked earlier, while well-meaning, makes a lot of assumptions trying to make their relationship A-okay at this point in time, by, for instance, claiming that they spent time together in London between Dublin and Australia. But there's no indication this is the case, and at most it was two days.

What the timeline does get right is that Harry uses a new guitar for his Sydney show the 27th. This guitar, we now know for a fact, was painted by Nikolai Haas, who was a close friend of Camille's (more on him later).

Nikolai is based in LA and Harry hadn't been to LA in months. Camille had just been to LA before Dublin, so it is pretty likely that she went to his show specifically to give him the guitar. All speculation, of course. Camille did have work in London afterwards, so a trip to Dublin wouldn't be too much of a bother.

The timeline also mentions Camille liking a post of Harry's for the first time May 2nd. It wasn't actually the first post she liked of his, but the second. The first one was a March For our Lives post he uploaded on March 24th (right after she left). It does mark a shift in attitude on Camille's end. This is absolute pure speculation, but it's very possible that at this point they were no longer together, at least not in any official capacity. That her leaving his tour marked their separation in a very amicable way and that's why she felt, let's say freer, to interact with him on social media. Remember she'd followed him for close to a year at this point and had never liked anything he'd posted.

Her leaving the tour, them being apart for weeks on end for the first time, her missing his hometown shows. None of it says anything by itself, but it's a pattern that continues repeating.

The timeline I posted speculates that they disappeared and reappeared at the same time in England between May 14-20th and that that meant they probably spent time together. There's literally nothing at all pointing to this. And the truth of the matter is they hadn't seen each other in a month between April 16-17 and May 14 anyway.

Harry then continued with his tour, this time in Latin America and part of America, and Camille didn't go to a single one of his shows, nor did they spend any time in close proximity, for another month and then some.

Harry then had two shows in Madison Square Garden, June 21st and 22nd, and Camille did go to the second one. And we know she went to the second one specifically because she posted from the plane doing LA-NYC, June 22nd.

She had a photoshoot that day in NYC, btw.

As an asterisk, because we're about to get in muddy waters, at this point Camille was acting single. And I mean this in the most respectful possible way, because she probably was.

This is her and Alexander Skarsgard June 14 2018.

This was a couple of weeks later (it's very blurry but the original account that posted it got deleted, so this will have to suffice). It's Camille sitting on Alexander Skarsgard's lap, watching the France national team during the World Cup against Belgium (July 10th).

Around this time, Alexa Chung, who introduced Harry and Camille and was close friends with both of them, unfollowed Camille on social media. I can't prove this to you, but she followed Camille and often interacted with her posts, and they were, well... friends. They hung out. This was literally a couple of weeks prior (Camille still follows Alexa):

Alexa had dated Alexander up until July 2017. I presume she and Camille are all good now, just not, well... friends. They do seem to run in the same circles and I doubt Alexa would hold a grudge all these years later, but she did unfollow in 2018 when Camille and Alexander did whatever it is they did, and to this day she does not follow (it's a big deal for very Instagram dependent celebs like Alexa or Camille to follow/unfollow each other, don't let anyone tell you otherwise). The Sun would claim that Alexander and Camille were dating later (after they reported on Harry and Camille's breakup in like, late July), but they were late to the party and by then, Camille was already dating Theo.

But I don't wanna jump ahead. I'm trying to keep a semblance of chronology.

Camille went to Harry's second MSG show June 22nd and from mid March when she left his European tour and until now we have three long gaps of about a month each in which they do not see each other, with two tiny periods of 1-2 days in between in which they could've seen each other (but we have no proof they did) + we have Camille seemingly being... very friendly, with Alexander Skarsgard.

Camille was seen at Harry's MSG show, with his friends Max and Xander.

The day after the show, Harry went out with Xander and Max in NYC. And well, he got pretty fucking wasted (and yes, that is Joel Embiid's hand Harry is holding)

People speculated that Camille was there because of this picture, but it wasn't Camille - it was Farah Holt

She has deleted her ig and Waseem (Harry's close friend) has updated the caption ever since

This is a pic of her's that night.

(Not implying anything btw, just anticipating some of the things I remember people saying back then. It's clear that Camille wasn't there that night, and people thought the blonde girl was her, but it wasn't).

Harry had a show in DC the day after that (June 24th). People noticed him being off at the show from the get go, and all these years later it's a meme that he was pissed off.

In several interviews since then Harry said that he's fully sober while he's on tour because it affects the way he feels at the show later. He said he only did it once during his solo career, and the show afterwards was his least favorite.

Everyone in the quotes of that tweet understood immediately which show he was referencing.

Before we theorize any further, let me fast-forwards to the end, because there's not much more left to say.

After this show Camille attended, she didn't go to any others until the very last one, which was July 14 in LA. She wasn't seen in the friends and family section, but in the stands with some of her friends, and she didn't stay for the after party or go backstage. She just left. There were pictures of her leaving The Forum in the parking lot with her friends (I don't think there's a chance in hell I'll find them, forgive me), while Harry was still inside helping the crew pack up the stage (it was a whole thing, workers posted pics of him in the venue at like 2 AM).

At this point, she was likely already dating Theo, given...

Her fan accounts had noticed her posting stuff about Theo or with Theo for a while, this post is from August 16th, but it'd been weeks at that point. It's impossible to scroll and find anything concrete 6 years later, but anyone who was online at the time can attest. To this day Camille is with Theo.

Theo Niarchos is a son/child of Greek aristocracy. His family owns multiple galleries and museums. This will also come up later.

Now let's go to the songs.

Fine Line

I said this song is partially about Camille, because I think it's also pretty introspective. I think he's not just talking about the demise of their relationship and the work he had to do to be better after it, but also about healing in general, about working on himself and getting to a better, more mature, more solid place.

He said he started writing this song in January 2018, but he never said when he finished it, so I do think at that time, he and Camille were mostly in a good place. When he starts a song melodically and where it ends up lyrically are two completely different things.

The song doesn't have a lot of lyrics, but the verses are very wordy and important. I'll break them down.

"Put a price on emotion, I'm looking for something to buy"

He's so desperate for emotion, for any emotion, that he's willing to pay for it. This goes with the Golden lyrics where she wouldn't open up to him while he was super open and yearning for more of a connection. It seems it's reaching a breaking point.

You've got my devotion, but man I can hate you sometimes.

This will come up later in Falling and TBSL, this dichotomy of loving this person (Camille) endlessly, but feeling anger and frustration with her.

"I don't want to fight you, and I don't want to sleep in the dirt."

This idea of him sleeping "in the dirt" (away from her) after a fight will also come up later.

The imagery of sleeping alone is one that Harry repeats a lot in his music, going all the way back to Don't Let Me Go (the first song that ever leaked with just his vocals back in 2013). It seems to signify something to him, sleeping (as in, actually sleeping, not sex) with the person he loves vs alone in his bed.

We'll get the drinks in, so I'll get to thinking of her

This, this is important. He's not getting the drinks with her, he's getting the drinks with friends. And as he's getting the drinks with friends, his mind goes to her. We'll get back to this.

The chorus is the yearning, "we'll be a fine line"

"Test of my patience, there's things that we'll never know. You sunshine, you temptress, my hand's at risk, I fold. Crisp trepidation, I'll try to shake this soon. Spreading you open is the only way of knowing you."

This verse deserves to be talked about together in its entirety because it's so... fucking heartbreaking. He's comparing her to sunshine again (see, Golden, where she shines too bright for him). "My hand's at risk, I fold" means that he realizes he's about to lose, so he gives up. It's using poker imagery. The picture he paints is someone who's betting and betting until he realizes he's not going to win, so he folds.

She won't open up to him (once again, see "Golden"). Spreading her open, sex, is the only way of getting to her. She'll give him her body, but she'll give him nothing else.

This repeats itself in the unreleased leaked song Make My Day, where he says:

I make lots of money, build a big house Put an extra sink in, say I’ll settle down Friends call me a loner, I know they’re wrong She asked me to choke her, I play along

He wants to settle down with her - she wants sex that he doesn't really mean. He plays along. Coincidentally this seems to be something he repeats in the song Keep Driving (Harry's House), but we won't get into that now.

I don't have a conclusion for this song alone, because he talks about this again in Falling

Falling

"I'm in my bed, and you're not here, and there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands."

People often think he's alluding to cheating here. He's very clearly not. Camille, all her friends, all her family, all seem to be on perfectly good terms with Harry. There's a song we'll analyze in just a minute that claims that she's asking to be friends with him after they break up. That makes NO sense.

We just went over a song in which he gets drunk with his friends and starts thinking about her, and where he talks about how sex is the only thing on the table with her because she won't open up in any other capacity.

This sentence, to me, is alluding to the fact that he just had sex with her (wandering hands) while drunk (the drink) but they're not together anymore (I'm in my bed and you're not here). There's no one to blame for falling in bed again with his ex he still loves but the drink in his wandering hands.

He KNOWS he shouldn't hook up with her anymore because all she's willing to give him is sex, because she's checked out of the relationship and seeing other people, but he does it anyway, because he's weak. Was was it that he said? "My hand's at risk, I fold."

"Forget what I said. It's not what I meant. But I can't take it back. I can't unpack the baggage you left."

What was it that he said? "I don't want to fight you and I don't wanna sleep in the dust." Remember? He's alluding to saying something he doesn't mean, but not being able to take it back. This will be repeated again in a third song. But let's finish this one first.

What am I now? What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'

Essentially: I hate myself, I hate what I'm doing to myself. I hate it here.

What if I'm down? What if I'm out? What if I'm someone you won't talk about? I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'

He's worried that if he doesn't do this, if he doesn't have sex with her, then she won't talk about him anymore. She won't think about him anymore. She'll forget all about him.

It kills him to do just sex, just casual, just friends with her, but what if not doing that results in her fully forgetting about him? Not needing him? Not thinking about him?

You said you cared, and you missed me too And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you And the coffee's out at the Beachwood Cafe And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say

"You said you cared and you missed me too." If I'm right about the timing, of this happening after his MSG show, right before the DC show, the night that he got drunk with his friends, then it makes perfect sense.

He gets drunk, he thinks about her (because he just saw her, and she's in the area). He calls her, drunk, goes home to her (she had an apartment in NYC as well as her house in LA), they sleep together, and she tells him that of course she cares about him, of course she missed him - they hadn't seen each other in at least a month, possibly two.

But the conversation is awkward. They have nothing to talk about because she doesn't love him that way anymore.

And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again (Oh)

It's devastating. He loves her so much, but she moved on and is over him. That tiny physical connection is all that's left, and he's breaking inside.

We know that the Beachwood Café is Camille's favorite coffee shop as well. (Link to an archived version of the interview, which came out right before Fall 2019, a few months before Fine Line).

And the music video makes it perfectly clear it's about her. The window opens to a very subtle shot of the Eiffel tower

Camille was born in Paris. There are also very unsubtle shots of his left hand playing the piano, while wearing Camille's ring

Not that we needed proof of who this song was about, but ooh well

To Be So Lonely

Don't blame me for falling I was just a little boy

I don't take credit for this because so many people have said it before me, but I bet you she called him a little boy at some point. (She's about 4 years older. They were 23/27 and 24/28 during their relationship)

In Falling he's apologizing, and lamenting. Now he's like "you know what? Nope. Not my fault.

Don’t blame the drunk caller. Wasn't ready for it all

So he got drunk with friends, thought about her, called her, went to her house, they slept together... pretty clear image isn't it?

You can't blame me, darling, not even a little��bit. I was away And I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit when he's sorry

This is very obviously some private conversation they had. This is Harry being petty and throwing back things she said to him. I'm endlessly intrigued by "I was away" perhaps talking about her being with Alexander while he was on tour? It's impossible to know because while there's a lot we can gleam from looking at timelines and stuff (always just speculation) at the end of the day, he's incredibly cryptic when he wants to be. He's not Taylor Swift who paints a very vivid picture that anyone following her lore can put together. This? Only she can understand what he means. Maybe his producers.

Don't call me "baby" again, you got your reasons I know that you're tryna be friends, I know you mean it

This. This is why the idea that he's apologizing for cheating on her in Falling makes NO sense. She wants to be friends and continues to call him baby. I know she's a cool chick who doesn't GAF about much of anything, but that makes no fucking sense.

Now, if they were friends with benefits after they ended things, then that... that makes sense.

She's so cool, all good, she's over him. So she's fine hooking up with him here and there (while hooking up with other people). She's over him. She can call him "baby" and whatever other term of endearment. She never fully opened up to him, not the way he did. He actually thinks she's too good for him (Golden).

He's not claiming that she's malicious either. She fully feels this way, and that's valid, because she's not responsible for his feelings, or the fact that he's a mess and a half who's still head over heels in love with her.

Don't call me "baby" again, it's hard for me to go home Be so lonely

Once again the imagery of sleeping alone. Of going home after sex and sleeping alone. He hates that. They're sleeping together (having sex) but sleeping apart (actually sleeping). And that kills him.

I just hope you see me in a little better light Do you think it's easy being of the jealous kind?

Once again alluding to a fight. Perhaps his jealous streak is what he said that he regrets in Falling? Who is he jealous of? Maybe Alexander? Maybe someone else? Maybe the situation in general?

He's basically saying, I hope you know I wasn't trying to be mean or jealous when I don't have any right to be. I hope you think better of me.

’Cause I miss the shape of your lips You’ll win, it's just a trick And this is it, so I’m sorry

It seems that Harry has put an end to the cycle. In the Falling music video, he cycles through being soaking wet on the floor and a mess, and being on the piano, playing the keys that make the water fall and flood the room, drowning him.

When the music video begins, he's already wet:

He misses her, so he has to put an end to it, because otherwise the cycle that makes him miserable will continue. "So this is it, so I'm sorry."

"You'll win, it's just a trick." + "My hand's at risk, I fold"

These three songs go on top of each other and enmesh each other all over. They seem to be talking about the same exact thing, just slightly different angles of it, because it's at slightly different stages.

In Fine Line, he's about to do that thing that hurts him. In Falling, he's already done it, and regrets it. In To Be So Lonely, he decides he's not going to do it anymore. All three songs mention drinking, all three songs mention sleeping alone, all three songs mention fighting with the person he loves.

In Fine Line he triumphally says he'll be alright, likely because he's looking at the situation from afar, after having gone through it. It's not just about this situation with Camille, likely, but about working on himself and getting himself out of it. Getting better. Taking care of himself.

Cherry

This song is the aftermath of To Be So Lonely. In To Be So Lonely he asks her "Don't call me baby again"

In Cherry he says:

Don't you call him "baby" We're not talkin' lately Don't you call him what you used to call me

It's a play with words. Don't call me baby, but also don't call HIM baby either. He's fully aware of how petulant it is. Not me, because you won't give yourself fully to me. But also not him??

She asked him not to call him, so they're not talking lately. Just because we don't talk, don't think you can call him what you used to call me.

I, I confess I can tell that you are at your best I'm selfish so I'm hating it

She's with Theo, and he tells, from afar, that she's happy. She never fully gave herself to Harry, but she did to Theo. And Harry hates it.

I wanna say, I don't think it's selfish that he hates it. In normal circumstances, sure, but if your ex who you loved (and still love) never fully gave themselves to you but does to the person right after, then I don't think it's selfish to be upset by it. But I do like that Harry is self aware enough and critical enough of himself to call himself out on those petty thoughts

I noticed that There's a piece of you in how I dress Take it as a compliment

This is me being petty but I don't think he means actual clothes and it's crazy to me that some people credit Camille with his entire street style in 2017-2019. He's talking about her ring, most likely. A piece, not, "I dress exactly how you liked me to dress." He can't exactly say "I wear one of your accessorieeees" now can he? He's making it poetic.

I, I just miss I just miss your accent and your friends Did you know I still talk to them?

He's talking about Nikolai, the man who painted his guitar. And thankfully, Harry seems to have kept Nikolai (and his wife Djuna) in the divorce.

This is Harry with Nikolai a few months ago

I'm sure they're on good terms with Camille. I'm just happy Harry doesn't have to miss them lol

Does he take you walking 'round his parents' gallery?

Anyway, I'm not exactly discovering anything. Anyone with minor knowledge on the subject already knows that Camille's new boyfriend (and current boyfriend) is Theo Niarchos.

His grandfather is Stavros Niarchos, a Greek oil tycoon and one of the world's richest men. His first son, Philip Niarchos, inherited Stavros' art collection and owns incredible paintings such as Van Gogh's self-portrait and Basquiat's self-portrait (Harry admires Basquiat a lot, so I'm sure this was personal for him).

Philip is Theo's father. So when Harry says "does he take you walking 'round his parents' gallery?" he's saying "I didn't have rich parents and I closed out galleries for you." (If he's not saying that, then I'm saying that goddammit).

The ending of the song features him crying agonizingly while she laughs cheerily in a voice note (which she gave him permission to use. Insanity)

Sunflower, Vol. 6

This is one of my favorite songs he's ever written because he takes all of this pain that we just described and he goes "alright, well, I'm gonna be happy anyway."

He's reminiscing on the good parts of the relationship:

Sunflower Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody

(...) I couldn't want you any more Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor I couldn't want you any more Tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight) (...) Wondering, headshake Tired eyes are the death of me Mouthful of toothpaste before I got to know you I've got your face hung up high in the gallery

All those little things, the cotidianity of the first few times someone sleeps over, brushing your teeth side by side, seeing them just woken up, hanging around in the kitchen making breakfast. He's thinking back to all that.

While also being really sad that they don't have that anymore:

I don't wanna make you feel bad But I've been trying hard not to talk to you Sunflower (Sunflower, sunflower) (...) I don't wanna make you feel bad But I've been trying hard not to act a fool Sunflower (Sunflower, sunflower)

Because he told her they shouldn't talk, and he doesn't want to make a fool of himself while she's with someone else. And also being really sad that she never got to open up to him fully.

Let me inside, I wanna get to know you (...) Let me inside, wish I could get to know you

And he's saying, the flowers (the relationship) have died (ended), but they're sunflowers. And when sunflowers die, you get sunflower seeds. The very center of a sunflower is where its seeds are, and the flower needs to die for hundreds if not thousands of seeds to come out.

It's all part of the process. It's a stage of growth, hence Vol. 6.

He's taking all of this, all of these feelings, all of this yearning, all of this love, and he's planting it in his melody, in my music. He's making art out of his heartbreak.

Sunflowers sometimes keep it sweet in your memory (...) Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody (...) Sunflowers just died, keep it sweet in your memory

The flowers died, but I'm planting them in my melody, and the good things will live forever.

Fine Line is a beautiful album, which does tell a story beginning to end, just not chronologically.

There aren't any bad guys, or bad people. He's not calling himself out. Or her out. He's not pointing fingers. He's not mad.

He's processing going through this heartbreak, and trying to make it all better. Learning from it, getting to know himself. One day I'll analyze Lights Up and She a little closer, but that day won't be for a while, because this fandom is incapable of being normal about that sort of thing.

I have other things cooking, but tonight I just wanted it to be about Harry and the beautiful album he made, and the wonderful conversations me and my friends have when we miss him.

I hope he's doing alright, taking care of himself, and surrounded by family.

If anyone made it all the way here, congrats! And thank you.

I'll probably run through this lately and correct a few grammar mistakes, but I just want to put it out now.

#harry styles #harry #one direction #analysis #fine line #lyrics

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maria021015 · 6 months ago

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SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 25 AHEAD!

The fact that Stiles needed her was the only thing keeping Zaida from crumbling at the moment. If they were going to find him, they’d need all of their heads on the case - as many as they could get. When it came to Stiles she wouldn’t be taking any chances. They had already scoured the school grounds to no avail, finding only that powder blue Jeep parked in the lot. It left Zaida standing with Sheriff Stilinski, Scott and Isaac in the boys' locker room, twisting the golden rings on her fingers repetitively in an attempt to stay grounded.

“I've got to meet with the medical examiner and try to figure out what happened with Jackson. I've got an APB out on Stiles. His Jeep is still in the parking lot, so that means…” The Sheriff was struggling to keep himself together just as much as Zaida was. It was difficult for him to focus on his job where Jackson was concerned whilst his son was missing. The man looked completely defeated. “The hell, I don't know what that means.”

Zaida knew what it meant. It meant the boy hadn’t left of his own accord. Someone had taken him, and was currently doing God knows what to him while they all floundered around like headless chickens, blindly running and not knowing what direction to go in.

“Um, look, if he answers his phone, if he answers his emails, if any of you see him-” Stilinski sounded desperate, holding on to whatever slim hope he had that his son was unharmed and that it could all be explained.

“We'll call you.” Isaac nodded gently, and Zaida turned to him in pleasant surprise. The boy had been doing that a lot tonight - unexpectedly throwing her off balance with such a drastic change in attitude. Though she supposed the person he had turned into when he became a werewolf was the change in attitude. This was just him finding himself again, and Zaida had to admit she was proud of him for it.

“Look, he's probably just freaked out from all the attention or something. We'll find him.” Scott promised, trying to alleviate the man’s worries with comforting lies. Lies that would not work to settle Zaida’s bubbling anxiety.

“Yeah...I'll see you, okay?” The Sheriff nodded and started to make his way out of the locker room, likely heading out to the hospital.

“What are we going to do? We need to have a plan,” Zaida snapped as soon as the man was out of earshot, stepping forward.

“Zaida, I think you should go with Sheriff Stilinski.” Scott pursed his lips, waiting for the outburst he knew he’d be met with.

“You want me to what?! I’m not just going to sit by idly when Stiles is missing!” She scoffed at the audacity of his suggestion. “We need as much help as we can get at this point, and in case you haven’t noticed, one of our star players has turned to the dark side. You can’t bench me now. You need me. Stiles needs me.”

“We don’t know what’s happening with Allison, okay?” Scott defended the girl, still holding onto the hope that her actions had a reasonable explanation and that she’d find her way back to him. “Isaac is going to help us. Besides, Stiles would want you to stay safe. This is going to be dangerous.”

“I know that Allison shot me in the leg with a crossbow bolt! And Stiles would trust that I can handle myself, and he would know that I’m more help when I’m involved.” She corrected him. The fact that Stiles respected her autonomy enough to never try and keep her out of things just because they would be dangerous was one of her favourite things about him. As long as she had all of the necessary knowledge to make an informed decision, he always gave her the choice.

“You’re not coming Zaida! My girlfriend is being brainwashed by her family. My best friend is missing. I’m not going to let something happen to you too.” Scott insisted and Zaida turned to Isaac with a desperate expression, hoping that he would back her up.

“I’m sorry, Zaida, but I’m with Scott on this one.” He shook his head and she huffed in frustration.

“Stiles would want someone to look after his dad,” Scott reframed his request, knowing if he gave her a meaningful task she’d be less likely to completely disregard his advice and would go out looking on her own the minute they were gone. “Gerard threatened him too, and we don’t know what they’re planning. The sheriff could be next. We need to stay together.”

Zaida grumbled under her breath but she couldn't argue with that. If anything happened to Stiles’ dad while he was gone…well, the boy had taken long enough to forgive Scott for the first time something like that happened. “Fine, but I expect regular updates!” She pointed a polished nail into Scott’s chest in what she hoped was a threatening manner. Zaida looked at Isaac once last time before she hurried after the Sheriff. “Thank you, for helping us.”

“Don’t thank me. I have a lot to make up for.” Isaac responded with a muted smile and she nodded at him in appreciation and acknowledgement.

“Sheriff, wait!” Zaida called after the man, jogging through the halls and catching up just before he exited the school building. “I want to come with you. Besides, Stiles was my ride.”

“Oh,” The man looked at her in slight surprise but nodded in acceptance. “Yeah, sure kid.”

He led the way, keys jangling from his belt, down the steps to his state-issued police vehicle. It wasn’t even close to the first time she’d been in this car, so she slipped into the passenger seat without hesitation. The first few times she’d been in a car with the Sheriff, it had been slightly awkward, as she always was with adults she didn’t know well. Since practically living in the Sheriff’s house for the past week and a bit, they’d broken past that barrier. Not only that, but the hours they’d shared scouring over case files and clues now meant she felt quite comfortable around the man. However, it was obvious that a Stiles-shaped hole was missing from their usual trio dynamic.

“We’ll find him, Sheriff.” She assured him, thought it was for her own profit as well. Zaida wasn’t lying. She knew she wouldn’t stop until they did, but in what condition they might find him in, she wasn’t sure.

“Stiles used to do this a lot as a kid, you know. He was always getting distracted - always running off. The amount of times we lost track of him in the grocery store…” There was a ghost of a sad smile playing on the man’s lips as he reminisced. “Then when he got older he’d disappear for hours, but by then we knew he was just running across the street to play with Scott. When the McCalls moved out and a few blocks away and the boys got into their teen years, they’d both go and be out the whole day, running around in the Preserve or hanging out at the skate park. Stiles would come home with scraped knees or cut-up elbows and a huge smile on his face. I think part of me was just waiting for him to walk back onto that field or into that locker room…but this time he didn’t.”

“He will. He’ll come home.” She insisted, forcing confidence into her weak voice. “And when he does, I’m going to kill him for making us worry.”

“That was what I would always say,” A soft puff of laughter escaped Stilinski’s nose. “And Claudia would tell me…” The man froze, a light draining from his eyes at the mention of his late wife. Zaida recalled what Stiles had said once about his dad not talking about her. “Well, it doesn’t matter now.” He clamped up sombrely.

“You know, when I first met Stiles I thought he was the weirdest person I’d ever seen. I still do, but I’ve just grown to like that about him.” Zaida opened up, thinking that maybe trading fond memories would help both of their nerves. “I’m pretty sure he was scared of me - or maybe he just didn't like me - but he spent most of his time running in the opposite direction. I never would have thought we’d even be friends, let alone…” She trailed off with faint laughter, not quite knowing how to describe what they were. They were friends of course, but it seemed that the word sold what was between them incredibly short. “Well, he’s one of the people - if not, the person - I trust most. He’s been by my side for a lot of the worst moments of my life. It kills me that I’m not there with him now, wherever he might be.”

“I don’t know about when he first met you, but I do remember the first time he talked to me about you.” Stilinski looked at her with a fond gaze at hearing the way she spoke about his son. There was a slight glint of knowingness that she didn’t quite place as such. “He had gone out after school and when he got home he told me the highlight of his day was watching a girl walk into homeroom and slap Jackson Whittemore across the face. Said the way she stood up to him and defended another student was the most amazing thing he’d seen. Jackson tried to intimidate her, but she didn’t back down, and then right when he thought she couldn’t get any cooler, she threw a darn good punch at him.”

Zaida couldn’t stop the broad smile from spreading across her face as the Sheriff continued. “At the time, I didn’t know who it was, but now after getting to know you and hearing him talk about you, I know it was you,” he revealed. It seemed distasteful to admit it aloud now under the circumstances, but he’d wanted to punch the kid himself a few times.

“That was a good day,” She nodded at the recollection of how good it had felt when her fist had come in contact with Jackson’s smug face - and her heart warmed at how good it felt to know Stiles spoke about her in that way. “Definitely worth the detention.”

“You kids have been through a lot this year, and with everything going on…I’m just glad you have each other to lean on.” Stilinski sighed heavily as he pulled into a parking spot in front of Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital.

“Yeah, me too,” Zaida agreed, releasing her seatbelt and climbing out of the car. The door shut with a loud thud behind her and she and the Sheriff entered the hospital. Zaida took the opportunity to pull her phone out, checking for any messages from Scott or Isaac only to find zero notifications. She decided to send them both a message questioning if they had found anything. She waited with her eyes glued to the screen in a chair as Sheriff Stilinski met with the medical examiner. Time seemed to crawl by impossibly slowly as she waited for a response that never came. Her hands shook as her mind went to all of the possibilities. The Argents had Stiles. It had to of been them. But what did they want from him? Information? Did they think that because he was human he’d be easy to break? If so, good luck to them because Stiles was the most stubborn of them all, second only to Zaida. Would they torture him if he didn’t give them what they wanted? He wasn’t even supernatural. Did they even have a code for that? Though she supposed they hadn't really been following the code for a while now with Gerard spearheading the hunt.

Zaida had been keeping her mental blocks solidly in place since the game, not wanting to risk feeling something that might cause her to spiral. She needed to be grounded to be useful. But no, sitting there and thinking about him, she found that rustic-style door slowly creaking open and a sudden pain hit her face, right over her cheekbone. There was an ache in her stomach, and her back, and her chest, and…almost everywhere hurt. Zaida gasped, her eyes watering as she forced herself to shut that door closed and block it off. When she had accomplished so the pain faded away. For her. But it wouldn’t for Stiles. Whatever was happening to him wouldn’t go away so easily. She sent more messages to Scott and Isaac, even calling them. Again, there was no response. This was the last time she was going to trust either of them with something so important. How was she just sitting here doing nothing when Stiles was hurt - was still being hurt by someone? The guilt within her chest clawed at her, digging deep wounds that stung.

Sheriff Stilinski approached her with a slight shake of his head to her questioning gaze - they had no idea what happened to Jackson. Not yet, at least. “What do we do now?” She asked, rising from her seat and falling into step beside him.

“There’s nothing we can do, kid. We wait.” Stilinski answered her morosely, but that wasn’t good enough for Zaida.

“No, what about Stiles?” Her eyes grew wide in alarm. She had been trying to hold it together so as to not panic the man all night, but she couldn’t do so much longer. “We have to do something!”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” The Sheriff’s voice shifted to a soothing tone as he paused to look at her with empathy in his blue eyes. Stiles must have gotten his eyes from his mother, she thought. She missed those honey-brown eyes right about now. “We’re going to go past the house and see if he’s turned up there. If not, there might be some clues as to where he’s gone.”

Zaida gulped, swallowing her protests as she dipped her chin in a hesitant nod. She knew they wouldn’t find anything there and the helplessness that she felt continued to eat away at her. What good were her powers? What good was it knowing something was happening but having no means to stop it?

#teenwolf fanfiction #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf fanfic #teenwolf #teen wolf #stiles x oc #stiles #stiles stilinski #sheriff stilinski #noah stilinski #scott mccall #isaac lahey

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theowritesfiction · 2 years ago

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‘The Avatar and the Fire Lord’

I've lost the count of how many absolutely normal sibling scenes between Zuko and Azula there have already been in Book 3, but it's a lot. It's like the people who make the ridiculous argument that 'Zuko shouldn't be responsible for the wellbeing of his abuser' are willfully ignoring everything about their relationship especially here in Book 3. I'd say these people badly need to re-watch the show, but since I also suspect they are victims of back alley lobotomies, I doubt it would help.

I've also lost the count how many episodes of Zukaang parallels we've had by this point, but they're always fun and watching Zuko and Aang learn the history of Roku and Sozin is pretty damn amazing. The history buff in me is so jealous of Zuko having this access to Sozin's own unfiltered record of his deeds. I would so dearly want to have that kind of insight in the thought process of a real historic figure, but unfortunately it's not a realistic wish.

I have to say, for his age, young Prince Sozin is a very carefree and chill heir to the throne. This is... a little odd, but I suppose there could be explanations. We don't know much about the current Fire Lord, so maybe he really is an easy going dude who indulges in excessive partying and doesn't really care about making sure his heir is well prepared to take over. Or maybe Sozin actually wasn't the designated heir? We don't know what happened during those 12 years Roku and Sozin didn't see one another. In any case, normally a heir at this age would be groomed for leadership and how to handle responsibility, and his life wouldn't be a chill party.

Also, it's time to hand Aang 20 Jerk Points for public flatulence.

Okay, so I think I'm starting to get where Aang's inability to move on from his unreciprocated feelings for Katara are coming from. Roku couldn't move on from this one girl for 12 long years, and so he had to hound her - we all know what 'being persistent' means - until she gave in? Also wtf do you mean about 'being the Avatar doesn't hurt you chances either'? Is 'dazzle them with your status' a part of Aang's lessons? Right... I know you're dead, Roku, but here, I'm pouring 100 Jerk Points over your resting place.

Okay, so Sozin's plan... I honestly don't believe that there were ever any noble intentions behind his 'sharing the wealth and prosperity with other nations'. This is just a veneer covering imperialistic expansion from the get go. It's simply a result of the Fire Nation becoming wealthy and powerful, and having this capacity to expand and conquer that for some reason wasn't there before. And this is usually driven by the wealthy elites who see it as means to increase their prosperity. Whether the whole war of expansion was the idea of Sozin or his advisors, it doesn't really matter. If the material conditions for expansion are there, someone will eventually take it to the 'logical' conclusion.

I think Sozin's eventual betrayal of Roku is framed a little oddly. It's clear that after his expansionist plans had been thwarted by Roku, Sozin never abandoned those plans and waited patiently for an opportunity for the next 25 years. Clearly, Roku was the only thorn in his side that Sozin needed gone. Why then, did they frame his betrayal of Roku almost as opportunistic and accidental? He couldn't have known that Roku would get blasted by the poison gas, but I think it would have made more sense if he went to the island with a much more clear and decisive plan to use the situation to his advantage and eliminate Roku.

Iroh's speech to Zuko... yeah, I think a lot of it is just borne out of Iroh's paternal feelings for Zuko, because most of this 'you are the only one with the power to restore the balance' sounds very much like the 'destiny' crap that Iroh was trying Zuko to unlearn, only to replace it with... a more wholesome destiny? Ahem, I call BS. I'm all for stories where the new generation has to break the cycle of hatred and undo the mistakes of the old, but the idea that Zuko is some kind of sole messianic figure who is destined to do it... I don't buy it.

But yes, everything I said before that Sozin probably should have been a harsher figure and that his characterization was a bit too soft? Well, I'll also say... screw realism on this occasion. Sozin's portrayal as it was in this episode served the empowering and wholesome message of nobody being born good and evil, and everyone being deserving of a chance. I give Aang a hard time during this re-watch, but he is wise to see the importance of Roku's lesson here.

Also, Sokka just hold hands!

Jerk Points for Book 3:

Zuko - 410 Aang – 120 Roku - 100 Hide - 80 Sokka, King Kuei - 60

#my atla rewatch #atla book 3 #the avatar and the fire lord

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lesbianoctoling · 2 years ago

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🖊 🖊 thatcher and angel?

Meme

Thatcher -

The daughter of Toni Kensa and an Octoling. It's hard to tell that he's part inkling at first glance, but his ears give him away. He grew up not knowing who his father was and was raised as a soldier, but after discovering the secret through a magazine (without much proof, though) he came to the surface to become a nuisance and try to take over his father's company.

Thatcher is such a fun character for his premise alone. I want to write a short story about him one day. He actually hardly has any solid evidence of his heritage when he first comes to the surface other than 'we look alike and you vaguely mentioned your previous love life in a magazine interview once', but his father's reaction to him when they meet is enough. There's big daddy issues here.

He loves the surface though, and company aside Thatcher wants to become a fashion designer or something eventually. He also bothers Ava like, a lot. Ava and Callie were the ones to help him in the first place!

Thatcher's mom also kind of hates Toni Kensa too. I want to write Toni Kensa as an epic divorce man. I should honestly think about it all more one day, but it's really a story for another day.

Angel -

oh my god angel i can go on about her for literal hours and hours and hours . After I got a bit stuck writing WPW i kind of ended up focusing on her and her story. My poor little meow meow. My absolute garbage of a woman. I have a ton of human art of her too, because her human counterpart is similar but a little more grim and in a sci-fi universe. If I were to ever take my ocs out of Splatoon she's where I'd start with a unique universe, but I'm happy with her having two versions.

Trying to figure out what to say about her without spoiling story stuff I also want to share on day is a little hard - though a lot can be pieced together through some art too tbh.

Her morals are awful but she doesn't think so. Angel is an unreliable narrator, and why I want to write about her so bad one day. She's awful, but in a way where I can't really say where she stands on 'worst to least worse' of my villain ocs. She's willing to kill anyone in her way under the guise of making her world (The Deepsea Metro City) better, but she'd never ever hurt a child. She's consumed by this, but she thinks she's in the right. She hates the Telephone so much. So much.

But her plans for revenge take years. She's around 25 when her villain arc starts, and 37 during Octo Expansion (I think 42 at the start of Splatoon3). She's a chemist with the odd job of stealing memories and making mem cakes out of them. I haven't figured out how this makes sense yet, I have to research it, so this could change in the future. But her stealing memories is pretty important - about every test subject in Kamabo has gone through her for it.

Tartar has tried to sanitize her a few times but her body's tetrodotoxin combats it. He gave up and gave her her current job instead. She's experimented on herself with sanitization before, though, over the years - to try and see if it was possible to sanitize an octoling and keep their free will. This resulted in the scarring on half her body and sanitized eye. Sara was eventually the first successful attempt at this. i don't have a smart in universe scientific explanation for all of this but I want to do my research eventually to make sense of it. If ur a scientist and this doesn't make sense I am so sorry.

Post story is weird. She isn't forgiven for most of the damage she's done and I think it's important to point that out. I hesitate to say she gets 'redeemed'. I was actually originally going to kill her off, because I didn't know what to do with a villain like her without somehow saying her actions were ok. I decided not to, though, because not only had I become really attached to her, but it also felt extremely cruel - she's evil, sure, but she's also very very traumatized and a pretty sad woman. She can live, but has to forever live with the guilt of what she's done.

Oh and some of the people she's killed still want revenge on her years later so she has to deal with quite a few metaphorical bounties on her head.

i like to joke about it sometimes though because i am guilty of making her a little silly....

She has two girlfriends by Splat 3 (post story), Idunn who belongs to @herosplatling-replica and Rivera who belongs to @inkbwush . They're all a fucking mess and their family gets big and complicated because polyamory and found family does dat.

#mail.doc #darkfire1177 #i can go on and on about angel for literal hours. i have so much to her. hep.#Thatcher #Angel #Within Palace Walls #Minds Eye

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kinetic-elaboration · 1 year ago

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October 25: Finishing Garden Wall

Just finished my first ever watch-through of Over the Garden Wall. It did not disappoint at all. I enjoyed everything about it that I thought I would, and also found it surprisingly multi-faceted and complex, which I suppose is why so many adults do regular re-watches and write complex interpretations of it etc. It's definitely a kids' cartoon in name only and I found it kind of amusing to see the obvious lines of skirting-the-boundary censorship in it, like how any character who's about to say the word 'die' gets conveniently interrupted, etc.

Anyway, I've been browsing around through the internet looking for interpretations and analyses, which is also fun. I don't have any definite thoughts on it myself. I was trying to kind of put something together but I got tangled up pretty fast on, like, certain unimportant theories about what is literally happening, and the consequences of interpreting The Unknown as literal purgatory or any sort of literal death-space. I think there are ways to create a coherent explanation or understanding of the show on a literal level, but I don't think it's necessary--like, I think it's fine to say, as I basically am currently, it's just a weird place; some sort of in-between; the unknown. (And fwiw that does seem to be the explanation of that Patrick McHale gives here). I guess my feelings about these literal-Purgatory interpretations are affected by my sense that spinning out that thread leads to some quite pessimistic interpretations of the whole, and I don't really like that.

One thing I loved so much about the show as I got to the end, the final two episodes, was that it does end so happily, in an earned way. If someone wants a pessimistic or bittersweet interpretation those are definitely there and that's fine, but you can also take it at, roughly, its word and just say: and a happy ending for all. Even characters for whom a truly happy ending appears impossible, like the Woodsman, get one.

I wasn't sure what to expect from the flashback/origin episode but I really liked it and thought it kept up both my interest and the spirit of the show (literal Halloween!) even though it took place entirely in the real world. That Wirt was misinterpreting the events with Sara and Jason F., that he wasn't the outcast he perceived himself to be and, far from being rejected by her, he essentially pre-rejected himself even after Sara indicated that, at the very least, she desires a friendship with him, was really heartening to me because it turned this sort of cliche high-school-cruelty story into this optimistic, hey, high school sucks because you're a kid and you don't know or trust anything about yourself or other people, but those people aren't malicious and your real self could be good if you let it!... story. But also Sara is dressed as a skeleton the whole time and the kids are doing age-appropriate things in the cemetery.

The unstated family dynamic was also really interesting to me. I think this is a good example of a story where not everything is spelled out but it's clear the creators knew up front everything that was true in the universe and so they both had details to put in and could keep those details consistent. I know this sounds like duh obvious but I really think there's a difference between a story where only bare bones necessities are included and/or where extra details are just meant to fill in the current blank without a larger meaning, and stories like this, that show you a glimpse but remind you that there's a whole.

So it was interesting to me that we do get hints of Wirt and Greg's home life and family dynamic. I was legit shocked to learn they were half-brothers, which of course brings up many questions, especially about Wirt: where is his biological father, how long have his mom and stepdad been married, how does he feel about his new dad and little brother, etc.? I think based on their ages (I saw Greg interpreted as 5 but I unilaterally decided he was more like 7 and Wirt was 15) and the assumption that Wirt's mother and Greg's father didn't, like, have a baby accidentally by sleeping together on the night they met, or through an affair or something, and thus that time was was spent dating/being engaged/getting married/conceiving a child, I think it's possible that Wirt's father left the picture when he was very young and that he possibly has no memory of him at all, if he's dead and/or they have no current relationship. He does perceive Greg's father as Greg's father and his step-dad (he doesn't call him Dad ever I don't think) but at the same time, the one thing we know about this person is that he encourages Wirt to join the band and to otherwise generally put himself out there, and from this one fact I have extrapolated an entire relationship, in which Wirt's step-father is a good guy who genuinely tries to connect with him and be a positive force for him. And then from there I wonder if Wirt's lack of self-confidence and confused identity come in part from this early-life family disruption: he maybe doesn't have any memories of his father, and so lacks a sense of where he came from, at the same time as he sees his carefree little brother who does not have any of that uncertainty because he gets both of his real parents raising him etc.

Anyway, here I take the most mundane details from a show with talking pumpkin-skeletons so I don't know. I'm not saying the IRL stuff was my FAVORITE, these are just the thoughts in my head right this moment. I suppose they're more easily digestible and explainable. For everything else I'm still at the 'reading other people's thoughts' stage.

I imagine I'll do a rewatch every year, though. The vibes are great, the style is beautiful, the characters are sweet and extremely quotable, the episodes are short but also diverse in their topics and moods, and there are enough layers and references and possible different interpretations that I don't think it would get boring even upon repeated viewings.

#the year 2023 #2023: fandom thoughts #2023: over the garden wall

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ax-y10 · 1 year ago

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19. a song that makes you think about life "Snowflakes" by Tom MacDonald just exposes so many issues with the world and when you look at the lyrics and understand them, you realise just how fucked up the world is. There are some things in the song that I don't agree with either. 20. a song that has many meanings to you I'm sure everyone has heard "I Can't Handle Change" by Roar but it has so many meanings to me. And if you look at the lyrics and the different topics they cover, you would understand 21. a favourite song with a person's name in the title "stacy's brother" by Mad Tsai is so relatable for me because I know what it feels like to have people believing that you are dating someone, when you have your eye on someone else. 22. a song that moves you forward I always get so much more stuff done when I'm listening to "Kill the Director". It's such an upbeat song and carries so many meanings. When I first showed my mum this song, she said it sounded like something she would have listened to when she was in highschool. 23. a song that you think everybody should listen to The Dresden Dolls have such good music but I just think that people should listen to "Girl Anachronism" because it covers so many important topics, and it has such a catchy beat and I'm currently so in love with this song 24. a song by a band you wish were still together Technically, Los Campesinos did split up a little, but replaced the missing members with other people. I chose a song that Wilbur Soot hadn't done a cover of or a well-known song by them. "Allez Les Blues" is such a good song and it always gets stuck in my head for days 25. a song by an artist no longer living Most of us have heard "SAD! by XXXTENTACION but it is such a musically advanced and such a good song with such a good beat and rhythm. Yes, it's sad that he has passed away, but he carried a reputation that no-one will forget 26. a song that makes you want to fall in love "I Love You So" by The Walters is a song that has a rhythm and tone that just emanates love. Even though it is meant to be a sad song, I just don't see it that way, because I'm influenced by the lyric 'I love you so' because I'm lonely 27. a song that breaks your heart "If the World Was Ending (feat. Julia Michaels)" is such a sad son got me, especially because I first listened to it in the car with family, in the back seat away from everyone, in the night. Best choice ever, right? It also hits me hard because, from what I know, its about one partner leaving the other with no explanation, and both still needing the other in their life. 28. a song by an artist with a voice that you love I am incredibly biased by Wallows because I love their songs, especially "Scrawny". If you know me or ever get to know me, you will find that I constantly run around yelling 'I'M A SCRAWNY MOTHERFUCKER WITH A COOL HAIRSTYLE!'. I just have a thing for bands. 29. a song that you remember from your childhood istg my mum was trying to make me a swiftie from my younger years. She has a video of me in her car singing "You Belong With Me" in my younger years. I don't know why, but that was the only music she ever used to play 30. a song that reminds you of yourself "Siamese" by Real Fake Flowers reflects me so well because a part of the chorus has 'Honestly I think you just need therapy, to figure this shit out. Honey can't you see it's killing me, you and your self doubt'. It only really reflects me because in one of my friend groups, we have an inside joke between everyone where we all need therapy to figure out what the fuck is wrong with us, and they always target me

so until i can get the ability to write

send some numbers in and ill share some music

#Spotify #Music

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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 2 years ago

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i found out that you can vote for la elección interna every day and that gives me the perfect oportunity to not having to choose between the 25 songs i had thought could be cool to have in benidorm fest and just vote 10 of them randomly every day :)

having said that, here's those 25 songs i've chosen with a bit of explanation of why and stuff (they originally were much longer but aparently tumblr has a word limit now so i can't do that 🙄), keep in mind these are not the only ones that i liked or the only ones that i want in benidorm fest, there were a ton of good entries and i had to pick between them somehow lol

anyways, enjoy :)

a moura - sheila patricia: galician + references to places + great aesthetic, what's not to love

itzulera - zetak ft. erramun martikorena: basque folklore!!! basque folklore!!!!

panya - zoo: i do love me a satirical song, and especially if it takes a jab at conservatives, neo-fascists, and guiris 🥰 and in catalan!!!!

que pasa? - ariadna: i know she'll bring a queer song to benifest and i can't wait to see her live honestly, she absolutely snatched with this song. THE MUSIC VIDEO FOR THIS SONG DEPICTS VIOLENT HOMOPHOBIA AND GAY BASHING, VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK.

3 fuegos - e'femme: i really vibe with the concept of a new girl group???? i think we need more girlboss groups like this one, idk they gave me good vibes and i enjoy the concept :)

cuestión de suerte - natalia lacunza: this is literally one of my most listened to songs this year, and natalia one of my favourite artists, like of course she was gonna be here lol.

drowning fire - hydn: i know i always say i don't want english songs at eurovision and that i hate spanglish... but this isn't spanglish it's GALINGLISH!!!! she sings in english and galician!!!!!!

agarrarte a la vida - rozalén: she's imo the best songwriter in spain right now, and she sings about social issues (this particular song is about depression and suicide for example) so like she was made for eurovision!!!

odoletan - huntza: basque rock!!!!! with folk elements as well!!!

me estoy pillando - sandra groove: it's the chonicore aesthetic for me. also the song slaps

si quieres - cariño: i've listened to this song SO MUCH, cariño is also one of the groups i listen to the most lately so yeah

l'orquestra del titànic - la fúmiga: catalan verbena pop man, such an underapreciated genre.

culpa - valeria castro: of course i was gonna put valeria castro here, she's my current celebrity crush, i'm absolutely obsessed with her and her voice and her sound and aaaaaah she's the best

luz bajita - fusa nocta: there's something about it, i can't put my finger on it, but i think fusa nocta could do something pretty cool at benifest

por españa - samantha hudson: if she goes to benidorm fest there's a high chance they win and if that happens it would be a cultural reset like he would be THE PERSON in eurovision 2023 i want it to happen SO BADLY.

el hijo del ayer - celtian: this!!!! is what we need!!! literally this!!!! celtic rock my utmost beloved <3

por si te vas - maría peláe: please let flamenco be on eurovision once again please, she could save us all 😭

alex turner - ginebras: ginebras was my world last year, i still love them very much and they aren't capable of releasing flops so i know for a fact that if they go to benifest the song is gonna be amazing

te espera el mar - maría josé llergo: she has one of the most beautiful voices i've ever heard, and i know she'd create super beautiful scenography to acompany her as well

la gran belleza - floridablanca: i'm a sucker for indie pop man, i am guilty of it. also the song is a bop and a half

fuego - headon ft. carmen xina: ROCK IN EUROVISION YES YES YES PLEASE YES

olé - tatiana delalvz: NO BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY INSANE. like i wouldn't be surprised if this here was the winner of la elección interna, it's literally perfect

línea 7 - paula koops: A HYPERPOP SONG ABOUT A MADRID METRO LINE???? this song was literally made to cater to me specifically

ilargi berriak - neomak: basque tanxugueiras i repeat basque tanxugueiras!!!!!

hocus pocus - megara: i visibly gasped when i listened to this song this is literally perfect like holy shit!!!! it would do so well in benifest as well!!!!

#benidorm fest 2023 #benidorm fest #esc #esc 2023 #eurovision #eurovision 2023

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shuxjodie · 4 years ago

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Let's talk GOSHO AOYAMA'S POV For Movie 18' Promise (Canon or Not)!!!

What this post will cover-

The Explanation of Movie18 promise

Why Jodie is different from other agents? Answered with the reference taken from this promise.

Shuichi's current feelings for Jodie as a conclusion

The explanation that why there are High possibilities that the promise is Canon by what Gosho said about this movie in his interview.

NOTE: It's going to be a long post! Because I'm going to explain every single thing in detail. Well there is a treat awaiting for Redstarling fans too 😉

So first let's take a look at the scene of Promise. This is the scene of the Detective Conan Movie: Dimensional Sniper👇

They say this scene is not canon. But really?? If this is canon, then why? What are its possibilities that it is Canon? Let's keep in mind that this Movie is different from the movies that were previously made (It is explained later). And rather than going with the general idea of "movies are not canon" let's see what Gosho said himself regarding this movie!

Before that, let's break down what Shuichi promised Jodie and what he exactly meant.

Explanation of The Promise

The promise is made in a technical manner. So we need to understand the promise using technical knowledge. It's not what it looks like.

So what Shuichi said there?

"Don't worry. As long as I'm around, you will NEVER have to do something like that. I PROMISE."

First of all, I thought the same as many think that Shuichi said that because Jodie is unable to shoot a shot like that. But the promise is more than that.

To understand the whole situation, let's have a look at Jodie's shooting skills.

Jodie's skills as a shooter

If we compare what kind of shooter she is, it turns out to be that she is an extremely high skilled shooter! (And I will be using reference from specifically Manga not anime)

Jodie threw Vermouth's gun by shooting at it, faster than her. She is good at aiming by taking decisions within a fraction of seconds. This is a sign of a very well-trained agent.

Jodie threw the gun away without harming Vermouth, at that sudden moment. Although she was interrogating her, she grasped the situation quickly and reacted accordingly.

Jodie was able to shoot at her even when she was injured, and almost got killed ( Conan said that while talking to Vermouth and explaining why he changed his plans). Still, she had the confidence to give the warning that her next target will be Vermouth's head. Jodie would have shot at her head to save her life and other people's life involved in that case, because there was no other way around. But she stopped because her attention went towards the footsteps approaching her and she thought it's over but that footstep turned out to be Shuichi's.

Jodie shot at Vermouth's shoulder only to threaten her even when she was heavily panting, not in the condition to move either but used most of her strength to hide in the blind spot and still she shot her in that worse condition. She didn't miss the shot by harming Vermouth more. The bullet could have penetrated through her shoulder or any other part of her body, maybe hitting the vitals but it just passed aside. It was certainly a good shot to threaten. And she could have missed the shot by aiming in the wrong direction. But she made that shot successfully.

In the Kir arc, she shot very well at the sprinklers using the silencer. And she moved silently so no one noticed. Kir only noticed the sound of the sprinkler, not her moves.

Conan was caught by Kir when he was trying to retrieve the transmitter. So, Jodie was ready to shoot at Kir, to save Conan. In manga many people were around Kir, running here and there to get away from the rain. And it started to rain for real. But still, she was prepared to save Conan. It was a risky shot as people are around, running here and there.

In fact, her debut was made as she is a great shooter. Gosho can't show us actual shooting but video games and if you remember she was able to use her left hand to shoot.

And she never made a mistake while shooting.

Now one needs to complete their bachelor's degree to enroll into the FBI. Jodie must be atleast 22y by then. They need the experience of 3years. Then they have to give physical and written test followed by a background check. And after passing it they go through an intense training of more than 800 hours in Quantico. After spending 20weeks there, they get into the FBI. So she must be 25-26 years at that time. After joining it, they have a probationary period of around 2 years where they practically do nothing but observe and learn under under their assigned training agents. So she completed all these by 27-28years. And now she is 28y/o. So with less than a year of experience she did a great job!

CONCLUSION:

Jodie is extremely good at short-range shooting.

She can take decisions in less than a second and make a clear shot.

She can pull a headshot even when she is gravely injured, to the point of unable to move.

With less than a year of experience, she did a great job!

So let's keep all these points in mind as I will be using them many times.

Shuichi's promise and breaking it into fragments-

Now why Shuichi said that Jodie will NEVER have to do something dangerous like pulling a headshot, unless he is around while making the promise? She doesn't need him in the short-range shooting. She can handle things as she did at the port. She is a pro! Then why?

What did he mean with that slight smiling reaction he gave? So, let's break down his body language.

Shuichi's promise can be interpreted in these 5 ways-

1. He is a better agent and sniper. He is more confident and experienced. But-

Jodie is a highly skilled short-ranged shooter, who can pull a head shot when gravely injured. So basically she doesn't need his help in short-range shooting including dangerous things.

She doesn't like to do things without making efforts on her own either, which means she trusts herself and is very confident. That means she gives her best too!

But still, Shuichi promised her. That means he doesn't want her to get tensed about these dangerous things. He will take care of long-range, short-range or any dangerous things on his own. He promised her and this shows a sign that she can rely on him every time.

2. She won't have to kill someone facing the killer/target putting herself in dangerous situations.

There is a very high possibility that the opposition can have weapons too. Her chances of getting killed will always be there. That's why it's a dangerous job!

"Face the target HEAD-ON and aim for the tip of their nose"

That is advised by the best shooter/sniper of the DC world.

Well, it's the same strategy used in real life. Imagine the T shape between the head and nose and aim at the horizontal line of the letter. It's a perfect kill that the target won't get a microsecond to think or act! So it's very dangerous for the one who is aiming to. Because it gives a chance of killing and getting killed. This T strategy is shared by an ex infantryman of the army 👇

So her life will be at risk.

But she is willing to take risks-

Jodie faced Vermouth. The FBI didn't have much idea about her as Shuichi never saw her before but he confirmed on the port. And they were attacking each other face to face.

In the clash of Red and Black, Jodie decided to dispose of the bomb, on her will. James initially asked Shuichi to dispose of the bomb in a vacant area because he wasn't confident either, but Jodie came forward and took the job.

Jodie is willing to risk her life for Shuichi. In the mall, she knew BO men were waiting to kill Shuichi but she didn't waste a single second and ran to save him.

But still, Shuichi promised her. When he used "Never", he meant both long-range and short-range. That means he is not willing to risk her life at any cost. He doesn't want to lose her.

He will do anything and everything to save her life. Even with the endless and enormous amount of several uncertainties, he is not willing to risk her life at any cost, since it's a promise!

3.She won't have to do a dirty job and take responsibility.

Before I proceed, let me point out, Jodie can take responsibilities-

Vermouth asked her whether she has permission to use the gun in Japan. And she said she was going to accept all the charges anyways and was prepared to face them.

It's very hard to accept that this woman won't take any responsibility.

If you would look at it, killing a culprit is not as simple as it sounds. It comes with loads of responsibilities along with so many rules. If not justified, then they will face punishments and charges, even worse, it can cost their job. They can be called murderers.

Unlike soldiers who are prepared to kill men in masses, FBI agents are also prepared but not like them. They have to think before shooting and in worst case- kill, but soldiers shoot to kill. Hence, cannot be compared.

The first attempt of an FBI agent is to stop the culprit. So they shoot to stop the target from escaping. The killing comes afterwards in the worst-case scenario when they have no way around it.

FBI agents are strictly prohibited to kill until the situation demands or/and they get an order. Even when they work undercover, they are forced to obey the rules.

Killing a culprit without orders comes with a huge responsibility. If the action couldn't be justified by rules, the agent might cost their job along with mandatory punishments and charges.

If one is saving their colleague, there are two chances- to kill the opponent or to injure them so that they won't attack any further. It gets really complicated, in situations when all they get are a few seconds to decide. Because by harming, the culprit can be caught and the partner's life will be saved.

So it's a very big responsibility and commitment on a professional level and even on a personal level.

So when Shuichi committed Jodie, that he is willing to kill for her-

He is also willing to take the very huge responsibility at a professional level that will come all along.

The situation becomes worse when they get stuck in a situation when they can't or won't get any further orders.

Even when his top priority is his job because of his personal reasons, he is willing to take responsibility for her.

It's very very less likely that he'll fail but nothing can be taken for granted. He gave his commitment to Jodie when future circumstances are not known to anyone. There are uncountable uncertainties. And this can affect his job.

This proves that Jodie is a very very important person for him so he won't let her compromise her job at any cost because he is willing to take responsibility for her. As he mentioned that he won't let Jodie do anything ever if he is around, so it's a lifetime promise!

Even Gosho never made Shuichi kill anyone. Vermouth as the serial killer escaped him, Kusuda Rikumichi and Scotch committed suicide. Even in M18, he didn't kill the culprit. So to think about it from manga pov it's a very strong and big commitment, which he will fulfil in anyways and by any means.

4. Shuichi is willing to protect and defend Jodie at an emotional level.

As I mentioned before she is highly professional at the short-range shooting. Then why did she hesitate?

This is a very risky job and it's humans' natural tendency to think before acting when their life will be at stake. But that doesn't mean that an FBI agent should back off. They should learn to cope up with fear and do the job. Initially, everyone fears. But with time they learn. Jodie hesitated a little showing the "natural reaction" of any human being to save their life. But she prepared herself when the time came to eliminate the sniper. She remembered what Shuichi said and thought-" I have to do it!" So even if she hesitated, that doesn't mean that she'll never try to do attempt anything dangerous. In Manga, she prepared herself to shoot at Kir even there were people running around her.

Maybe Jodie's past is related somehow. To think about Jodie, she gets sentimental when it comes to killing someone, especially while smiling. But her past was very tragic since her father was burned by a mysterious woman. And at that time she was only 7-8years old so we can't blame her. It must be so traumatic. But now she has a strong and cheerful personality irrespective of the trauma she has faced.

Irrespective of her past, she is very professional and keeps her emotions away from her working space. Even though she has a personal hatred towards Vermouth, the FBI let her carry out the mission on foreign land, without permission. This shows her professionalism and the trust that the FBI put in her.

People get emotional when they face harsh and critical time. It was her worst time when we realised her past, before catching vermouth and about her relationship with Shuichi.

Even after Shuichi's death, she didn't have a mental breakdown. She strongly implied to Camel that the FBI wasn't scared of BO either. This shows she is a very confident woman, who doesn't rely on anyone, is aware of practical things and can deal with things on her own.

And maybe she was hesitant regarding killing someone, like that. Doing a dirty job. Generally speaking, not every FBI officer kills the criminal and they try to avoid killing criminals as much as possible because of rules and regulations and some avoid that for personal reasons but they have to do it when ordered. And along with killing someone, this thought comes along-" If I'll kill them, will I take the CHANCE away from them of having a new and different life? And what if they want to start a new life by accepting the punishment?" This is a very complicated decision and morals and values are the core of our life. That's why it is a very tough decision. Moreover, this is detective Conan in which Gosho never makes any good character to kill ever.

It's very unlikely that the FBI have the mindset of soldiers in war who are trained that way to kill thousands. It can be up to some extent the training of FBI agents is different from soldiers. Soldiers are trained to kill without thinking but FBI agents have to think before killing someone. Here another confession by an ex- infantryman 👇

Killing is not the same for everyone. Some might feel bad and some may not. It varies because of personal reasons, past, the surrounding they grew up etc.

And Shuichi knows Jodie very well without a doubt. He knows how capable she is and only he knows how worse her driving skills are. So, he doesn't want her to kill someone if he is around her. Shuichi is more experienced although he never killed someone, as far as we know.

So he asked her directly and without giving her a second to think, the next moment he promised her.

It's not like he is stopping her to do her job because a mindset to face difficulties is necessary for FBI agents. That's why he said until he is around and situations in which he won't be able to make it. But according to him, it's not that necessary either to let her kill someone if he is around or if he can do whatever he can to help her out.

Let me clear something-

Shuichi doesn't enjoy killing, like Korn and Chianti. They asked gin to let them kill because they carve killing( FBI vs BO part-1,2). Especially Chianti loves to kill.

Shuichi feels proud when he saves the people and threatens or eliminates the opponent, to serve his Nation. Even the best sniper of the (real) world said in his interview that he doesn't hesitate to kill as the opposite side are about to kill his brothers( his teammates, his friends). According to him, it's better to kill the people who can harm his side than to see his people die and their family suffer. That's what an ex infantryman stated-

So Shuichi is very different from BO men.

And by offering Jodie, to the extent of promising, that he'll kill for her, it gotta be really serious. So he is ready to kill on behalf of her which is protecting her physically and mentally.

5. He is willing to protect her life, putting his own life in danger.

With uncountable and enormous uncertainties, no one knows who can fire at him, at what time, from which direction and so on.

It's never just one culprit they will be facing, like the M18 climax. There can be more in number, increasing the level of danger.

He won't get the chance to use sniper always. Using a sniper needs a good place to aim and to find it the place it requires time and he should reach there in time. Jodie can get into trouble in any situation which may or may not be favourable for using a sniper. So he might need to shoot from any range, like short-range, which should be suitable for the situation. After all, he is going to protect her.

There can be a good sniper, that he might be facing as an opponent. So there is this uncertainty of not knowing the capabilities of the opponent too.

The bullet won't spare anyone, not even him or the culprit will not spare him at any cost. If he is aiming from a long-range then not necessarily the bullet won't reach him. And if the opposition is the men of b.o they'll definitely not!

So Shuichi is not willing to lose Jodie at any cost! Even he is ready to sacrifice himself for her life. For her, is willing to face anyone to save Jodie.

So in the trailer, what he said-

Don't make that kind of face. I'll protect you even if I have to give my life.

it turns out to be the same!

For "don't make that kind of face", he used the phrase "Don't worry / Just relax" which he usually uses when he is with Jodie.

So Shuichi is willing to risk/ give up on his own life to save Jodie's life. She is so important to him that he can't imagine risking life at all! Isn't it the reason he promised her?

Some other important points, while Shuichi made this promise-

By promising Jodie, he doesn't mean that he doesn't trust her. While working with agents, one has to trust each other on their skills because it's teamwork. He is well aware of her skills. If he had doubts about her skills, he wouldn't have let her take Haibara to the port. So he trusts her. The promise is all because he worries about her.

The promise is a lifetime promise. Using "never", means shows till he stays alive. Never letting her do anything dangerous is until he retires or if ever needed to do after the job and protection is for a lifetime.

Shuichi promised Jodie as soon as he asked her, just after the moment she hesitated, for like a second. That means he had made his mind way before to protect her no matter what and he'll do dangerous things for her. Because this promise is not some daily chores that he'll promise out of nowhere. The promise just described his feelings in words in front of Jodie during that time.

In the promise, he didn't mention specifically about headshot but he said "something like that" which implies she doesn't have to do anything dangerous like pulling a headshot. So he will do any dangerous activities in which Jodie's life will be at stake or if she will hesitate.

While promising her he said, "until he is around". That means it's not only for the mission but anytime he is around and anything and everything he can do to help her out. He is willing to go out of his way for her.

Just because Jodie hesitated doesn't mean that she will never try to do any dangerous activities. It's a human's natural tendency to think before acting when it comes to risking their own life. FBI agents need to learn things, cope up with pressure and have to act accordingly. Here, it's Shuichi who doesn't want Jodie to get involved in any dangerous activity. This shows his care and the fear of risking her life, which he doesn't want to do at all. Rather he will give up on his own life.

He is a practical and serious-minded person. So if he promised this for a lifetime, he gotta be damn serious. He is willing to anything and everything for her and he will go to the lengths of giving up on his life for her.

Body language. They play a very important role.

A. During that conversation, he looked straight into her eyes twice, even while driving-

While asking if she can do the dangerous things

While making the promise.

This shows his how much he wants to protect her. People look into eyes while saying truth and emphasising it even more. This also shows seriousness. Here Shuichi not only made a promise but made her at ease. She doesn't need to take stress for that.

B. While giving the promise he smiled. Facial expressions are a very important part of body language. And the promise is the most important part because he is talking about something really serious. And while smiling like that he clearly indicates how much important and precious Jodie is to him. He can give his life without a second thought. Well to keep an important person safe, the willingness to give up on his own life shows exactly how important they are- more than one's own life.

And Gosho makes it a very big deal when he smiles. It's rare. It is such a warm side of him to witness from a person who doesn't have a bright personality, considering his personality what James said ( FBI vs BO P-1,2 ch-504,505) and Masumi still believes that he never smiled at. Maybe he never did in those types etc but he does smile at her but she is unaware. So it's a biggie if he smiles at someone. Moreover, he smiled at the promise of risking his own life.

C. While promising, he performed a drastic activity. He pointed his fingers forming a gun at her. Why did he do that?

Showing drastic activity or any different activity from what usually one does in certain situations shows a different state of energy. Here he showed his eagerness and willingness. He didn't need to explain it by pointing at her nose. Generally, anyone can understand where to point if explained well. But he surprised her by showing how difficult the work is and the next second promised her. This shows his unhesitating mindset of sacrificing himself for Jodie.

Surprising Jodie like that had a purpose. Shuichi didn't want her to do anything like that all from the beginning. Understanding where to point, that is at the nose, is no rocket science that is difficult to understand. So he surprised her, showing the level of risk while shooting a headshot, on purpose. She got surprised at the moment which made her hesitate and the next second followed his promise. So surprising her which followed by the promise was on purpose.

This shows their closeness to each other. Shuichi or anyone ( in general) won't point his fingers like that at one who ain't close to him. But he did because it's Jodie after all. One gets more expressive and free to do things with closed ones.

10. The scene is after Vermouth arc, Japan.

Thanks @geissbock ! you can spot important things like Shinichi does! The numberplate used in the scene is Japanese.

It's matches with the time line too- 10 years ago, he was 21-22 as now he is 31-32. There is uncertainty in the age gap by consecutive numbers because we don't know anyone's birthday. So 10 years ago he informed his family in Japan that after 3 years of experience and written tests he can join the FBI. So he must have joined the FBI at the age of around 24-25 years. And Gosho said that he dated Jodie soon after he joined the FBI. Now 5 years ago when he broke up with her, he was around 26-27 since he is 31-32 now and had long hair back then. Now it would be impossible that his hair grew so long, covering his back within a span of a year. Imagine this situation- he promised when he was 25-26( his hair were short)and at 26-27(his hair covered his back) he broke up. And since he used the word "sacrifice" he should have dated for some time to the point of loving her that deeply. So it's impossible that he promised her in NY but he did in Japan.

This proves that Jodie is a very close and important person in Shuichi's life and he cannot afford to lose her even at the cost of his life. Even that, so much has happened between them.

That past wasn't in their favour and nor the present is.

Past involving that he used a very kind-hearted woman for his mission + that woman played all along with him for God knows how long, which must be so terrible even just to think + she risked her own life + did a huge favour for Shuichi's mission when this mission was his personal goal+and she died. Then Shuichi failed his promise which he gave to Shiho back then + Shiho lost her only family. And most importantly Akemi's life purpose didn't fulfil- to take her sister out of BO. Moreover, almost every FBI agents know that he was affected by Akemi's death. This is so complicated!

This means Jodie holds a very important place in his heart and she plays a very important role in his life. His feelings are really at a deeper level for her that he didn't hesitate to promise something so big! Hence the past is not interfering between them up to the extent of him to admit on his own that how much she still means to him! To add more to it, he smiled! Gosho makes a huge deal when he smiles. And it's a promise for a lifetime!

He won't do this for everyone, because he promised only to Jodie.

There will be many agents who are trained and willing and inclined to carry out difficult operations and might hesitate a little. Not necessarily he will always take the charges. Hesitation is a natural tendency, not a sign of never trying to attempt. Everything is done for the first time in the beginning and sure they would have felt nervous. But that doesn't mean they won't do things. It's just a part of learning.

He will take charges when the job comes to the best sniper in the world. He can't take away other's jobs and chances.

He won't go out of his way, that is besides missions to save every FBI agent. He is not everyone's saviour.

In fact, it's impractical to save every FBI agent every time. It's a very risky job to do that can cost lives. He knows the reality very well.

That's why in the clash of Red and Black he suggested not to focus on Esuke's life that much, although he was the one who saved him at the end.

In the recent chapter of the FBI serial murder case, he didn't go to shoot before, while they were trying to capture BO members. He went after, was required to, that is as the best sniper who can shoot for more than 1300yards and saved Camel's life by shooting at the torch while he was literally running.

Now for Jodie, according to his promise-

He won't let her do something dangerous like pulling a headshot, either on a mission or not, in any condition except it's impossible for him to be with her.

He'll protect her no matter what! By physically and mentally.

He is willing to give up in his own life.

So he is willing to stay with her after all, for a lifetime!! By promising this, he gave her the exact picture of how much she is important to him and what she means in his life.

And let me point out very clearly - He is not a jerk who is maintaining this relationship just to work with her. He can work without getting closer and she is highly professional. If he can work with Bourbon who hates him to death( Asaka case and now he is even willing to work with him since he and Yusaku proposed to him something, the Tea party ), he can work with an ex without faking anything. So he ain't faking anything with her and that's not his personality either. So they have to stay in contact and have to work together in future and maybe they will possibly hang out too.

Now, how Jodie should perceive this? What should she think about this promise considering their current relationship and future? His lifetime protection, the friendship, his act of care. How long should she take this and how long she can? Is he implying that he is stuck with his past but doesn't want to leave her either BUT with the condition of being friends? Did they ever decide this?

WHEN?

When did they agree by exchanging words to stay ONLY friends forever? Did Shuichi ever tell her if he has feeling for another woman? Did he ever ask her to stop hoping if they can get back together? DID THEY HAVE THIS IMPORTANT TALK EVER?

NEVER!!!!

If we look at the panel of clash of Red and Black, Jodie assumes that he still thinks about her. And they knew this because of the expression he gave after Akemi died. That means he never told Jodie anything about his exact feelings for Akemi.

"And when she died, you could tell from Akai-Kun's expression that..."

"Probably Shuu, still thinks about her."

So after coming back he never said anything about it.

Jodie started to work on this mission when Sharon died. It was around or less than a year before Akemi's death. And at one point in time, they agreed to work together. And sure it must be uncomfortable in the beginning. So in those months, he didn't have time to have this important conversation with her especially IF he never wanted a relationship in the first place? It would be foolish to assume by anyone, that an ex who hasn't moved on yet for god sake 5 years, won't seek anything in future. And it's even stupid if the ex would just want to be a friend forever without any talk or any clarification.

So we can clearly say that it's just their mutual understanding that they didn't speak about it, moreover a common sense at the moment because-

He was on a run, and it was the time when he should avoid getting close to her so that enemies won't have a clue. Imagine if he would visit his family at that time. No, he won't, so he stayed away from her for her safety.

They both, especially Jodie, were mostly focused on the mission. The mission was connected to their life's purpose!

It wasn't the right time to talk about their relationship when the time was about life and death.

So basically, they never talked. But that doesn't mean denial. Just because one can't be in a relationship in the present time, doesn't imply that they don't have feelings of love. There wasn't a little hint ever if Shuichi ever told her that they can't be in a relationship ever or neither he showed any hint like he tried to avoid her INSTEAD here, he showed her that she means to him more than his own life.

In Jodie's flashback, all she recalls is the breakup and straight after that, she thinks that she was happy to work with him anyway. This doesn't show any refusal for the future. It just shows that they broke up but she was happy to stay with him again while working with him.

Feelings and context don't give the slightest hint if he ever denied their future. Honestly, refusal becomes a very important thing in these kinds of situations especially when people want different things from each other. And people get uncomfortable n this type of situation so they talk, clarify or give hints by body language like maintaining distance etc. But there is no slight hint if he ever denied or had that important talk ever instead it shows other things way around. Rather he has never shown a little discomfort around her, the way she behaves and how he promised her something really important.

And Jodie can actually tell things from people's expressions.

In the Kir arc, she saw Conan's scarred face and she continued to investigate( ch-500).

In the Scarlett investigation, she noticed Conan's expression and went to Raiha Pass.

In the clash of red and black (Ch-599) it was Jodie who caught Shuichi's reaction that he looked excited. Even James had to confirm what she implied before-"about what?"/"what can I say?").

So if Shuichi would have shown a little hesitation, Jodie would have known. But we have never seen anything from Jodie's side if he is keeping a distance because of the relationship. And if he would have done that, Jodie wouldn't have hoped anything ever and would have kept her distance by herself. She never said anything from her side and focused on the mission. She knew this is no time to speak about their personal matter. So from the flashback, it's clear he never denied anything for their future.

And Shuichi knows how much he means to her. He knew how much she would suffer when he was about to fake his death. He knew from the beginning that she still loves him. So why is he showing two different emotions? But is he? We can say that he won't want to be in a relationship at that time for various reasons like-

It's not the right time to get back together when they both are on this important mission which is their life's purpose.

There is this uncertainty of if he'll live at the end or not. So giving her hope and taking it away when things aren't in his hand can make it very hard in future. He surely hates to hurt her.

They both don't have time right now to date each other.

Shuichi got many things to do, before personally getting involved with her again. He has to repay the debt by saving Haibara.

But that doesn't mean that he doesn't have feelings for Jodie. They are working together, are in contact with each other so it's satisfactory according to the critical circumstances they are facing now.

So without any CLARIFICATIONS, this can be complicated way too much in many ways-

If he doesn't want a relationship at all so she should move on according to him when he deeply cares for her feelings.

He can lose his friendship with Jodie, which he has right now. Which he surely won't like as she is very important for him in his life.

But if she didn't move on when he wasn't around her how will she if he is promising such a big thing!? She never stopped loving him, even after knowing that he broke up with her because of the mission and he had to date another woman. But still, she loved him then and still loves him unconditionally for more than 5 years.

Now, how Jodie should perceive this promise as? An ex, who gave her this promise in which he doesn't want to lose her, to the point of willingness to lose his own life, but probably thinks of another woman, maybe mainly because of guilt, but don't want to lose her either at any cost?

The feeling of being so important to him, even more than his life, without any important talk can become so complex that it is way out of imagination.

It becomes so hurtful to stay with someone you love on the terms of friendship. And this becomes worse with time. And by promising her, Shuichi clearly stated to her, that how much she still means to him, in his life, his willingness to stay by her side, especially after they broke up.

Jodie's feelings are her responsibility but Shuichi has his responsibility too. He should not make things harder for her. And he will never make it worse or even hard since he hates to hurt her.

Honestly, it can become really hard for Jodie in future and the present can leave her in a dilemma. And these things contradict so much when he gates to hurt her. It's clear from this post that he doesn't want to her at any cost 👇

And Shuichi is well aware of everything. He doesn't take part in any complex things if he has no interest in them.

Denying to act as a father figure, wasn't easy, especially after knowing that there is a little kid, who will never receive fatherly love at such a tender age. She will not only miss her father but also her big brother.

Leaving his whole family wasn't easy.

Reducing his communication, even cutting the communication completely, with his family, especially his little sister, wasn't easy. In ch-1035-38 it's clear that he loves his little sister so much!

He was well aware of the fact that his decision will shock and hurt Mary so much. As a mother, letting her child investigate something so dangerous, the decision was no easy at all.

But he wanted to catch them and give them the punishment they deserve because they made his family suffer. His sister never saw their father, his mother suffered as she lost her husband and he and his little brother lost their father. So he denied it straightforwardly to Mary. And Mary, with time, wanted the bad guys to get punished too, so she agreed and let Shuichi do what he desired.

So, if he is offering from his side something like that, he must have thought about everything in his mind from the beginning! Because the promise he made is no child's play. It's serious as fuck! Well, he doesn't like it when she gets hurt emotionally. He felt so bad and disappointed when she didn't take him seriously and was worried for her in the clash of Red and Black. And he never showed that worried of face ever (till now) in the manga. He was worried for her because she will get hurt because of his stunt.

So if he doesn't want anything except friendship terms then he should have told Jodie sometime or at least, should have implied indirectly. If she agrees, stay friends and if not then maintain a healthy distance. Instead, he told her he is willing to give his life for her.

Idk what kind of ex who doesn't seek things himself but will never clarify directly or indirectly especially when they don't want to hurt their ex-partner and doesn't participate in complicated things when they don't have interest at all. That means they have to be on same the page regarding these feelings considering he never denied their possible relationship especially if he never intended to have it in future. That should be taken care of first when promising something so big like that.

Some Important things to be noted-

He broke up for his job, not because his feelings changed. Since he replied just after she asked that he has to crush this organization by any means, it's clear that he did for his mission. Well, that's what Gosho said in SDB.

It must be so heartbreaking for himself as he was really sad while saying that, to leave a person he was so serious. The word "Sacrifice" is way beyond to explain. This word is used when people have to give up on something which is very precious to them, close to their heart that they personally don't want to lose but have no other choice.

He wasn't able to look at her until he admitted his inability to date, two women.

He closed his eyes while saying he has to break up with her, like his heart was resisting to say that but he did for his family and for her safety. He looked so unhappy there. It's tough to lose first love after all whom he dated for real.

Let's make this clear, he won't date unless he won't be really serious and will never waste a single second in the first place when he joined the FBI to catch the people who are responsible for his father's disappearance. So he was really serious with her while dating.

That means his feelings never changed for her in the very first place because he won't fall again for anyone after suffering through that horrible incident. He loved her back then and he still loves her to the point he won't lose her.

Conclusion:

Shuichi still loves Jodie, more than his own life!

Now that we understand the promise which helped us to know about Shuichi's current feelings for Jodie, it's time to decide whether it's non-Canon or not.

Let's see what Gosho Aoyama has to offer!

Before that let's see first how much Gosho is involved in the process of making movies. This will show Gosho's dedication to movies in general- ( it's from Gosho Aoyama interview 2014, for Movie 18 . You can find it just after the Lupin III interview on detectiveconanworld website.)

Actually, Gosho showed Shuichi's feelings for Jodie on a larger scale! Since the trailer mostly focused on Shuichi and Jodie, especially his promise, it's obvious that that the promise scene was the most important scene of the movie!

Even though Monkey Punch's motto is to let them do everything, he still gets involved! There is no chance that he will change an important and famous character's feeling like Shuichi just because it's a movie!

Even if the staff tries to add anything they want, they end up changing everything. And after completing it, Gosho checks and reviews it👇

He checks the storyboard and scripts and he even ends up changing god knows how many things if it doesn't get matches with the Manga!!! Since he said all scripts that mean he does that for almost every movie! Then surely for this dialogue, he would have agreed before they can animate anything. Gooood how much work you do so that we can enjoy Sensei!!!!! Seriously people need to stop criticising him!!!

Now the question arises: What does Gosho think about this MOVIE in particular?

Well, he mentioned that IT'S THE FIRST TIME, THE MOVIE HAS THE SAME STORY AS MANGA!!

There is nothing new in the story that hasn't been shown in MANGA !!!!

So no question arises if he changed Shuichi's feelings for the sake of fans and he altered them because this is particularly a movie! Well, the spoiler was there anyways. So we can safely say from his statement that this story is the SAME as the ORIGINAL story. And by the same, I am saying some particular scenes, the feelings of the character, not all the events that occurred in the movie like destruction etc. It's up to Gosho if he wants to make the whole movie canon or not. And we can also conclude that the warning Shuichi gave was nothing like a friend, although they are on terms for NOW.

It's the first time and the story is the same as Manga!!! ( Read the last line. It's the interview taken from 2014 interview that was taken before the movie release) So this movie is different from other movies that were released before!

He said that it can't be done in manga. That means it cannot be drawn in Manga as art. He didn't say that it can't be in Manga. He said it can't be done as Manga but only in anime! Here he meant by action scenes. It's very difficult to draw in manga each and every move." And since it'll be done as an anime they added tons of action scenes to it. " Many action scenes like Ran beating the culprit so that he can get caught alive, Jodie firing the car of the culprit while saving Conan and Masumi and so that the culprit can run away, Conan chasing the culprit and Masumi picking him up on the road are important for the story to proceed! And since it's an anime, they added more like bike stunts and blasts etc. Actions scenes are something that can only be shown in anime, mentioned by Gosho. Well, he told the same for Movie20, where he wanted to show Shuichi and Amuro fighting. Imagine how difficult it is to draw every single move to show the fluency of the fight. And he said in movies he likes to blow cars which gives his assistant a hard time! ( His assistant starts crying - that's what he said to be specific. I wish I could upload that SS but 10 pictures are the limit on Tumblr) He also said the same when he was questioned about yaiba and about the action scenes involved in the series. ( The interview was published around 2014-16 and can be found on detectiveconanworld website as well)

And he said there are a lot of ties with the original story! Now, what can be the ties? Whatever that can coincide or fit in Manga. If we consider Manga, Shuichi always followed Jodie when her life could be at risk. And he saved her 3 times in manga.

Vermouth arc. It was unplanned that Shuichi will go. Jodie didn't know he would come. She was surprised as he came. She thought that she would die but he came and saved the day. And he went there because he got worried as he didn't get any updates.

In the bus hijack, he went there. In the end, he said the target didn't appear, it was for Sherry. If Jodie was going anyway, why did he go there? It was because this time she was going outside of the school premises where Vermouth can easily harm her. Shuichi and Jodie had no idea that Vermouth was well aware of the fact that FBI agents sneaked into her house. Vermouth thought the FBI can help her find out Sherry, so she decided to act like she didn't notice anyone sneaked into her apartment. Similarly, if she would have found Sherry and if she would have got a way to kill her at that time, she might have done that. But he went there instead of letting any other FBI agent follow her, who came to help Jodie. The fact that he was working with Jodie should be hidden at all cost but for Jodie's safety, he took the gamble. Well, it's clear from this post that he did his best to hide himself from Vermouth while he was working with Jodie.👇And he did his best, especially for Jodie!

3. In Red T-Shirt omen, Shuichi said he saw someone familiar on TV. But in Scarlett's prologue, he explained why he visited the Mall. He was referring to Jodie there. ( In Manga it's only Jodie in the background) So what did he do? He saw scar Akai but followed Jodie to know the whereabouts of scar Akai. He knew that Jodie would be BO's first target. And after Jodie and Conan asked the saleswoman, he asked about what Jodie asked her too, to grasp the situation. Then he spotted scar Akai. And after the case was solved he was waiting near the exit because he knew Jodie is highly willing to follow scar Akai. So he saved her life again.

4. In the car chase, he said that Bourbon would try to capture ONE of his close colleagues. And they knew that Jodie would definitely come once she started to doubt the death. So they wanted to catch her there. And Shuichi was well aware of the fact that she will definitely go to investigate. So he followed there too and since Camel went all along so he saved both.

Saving Jodie has always been canon no matter what the situation arises as written in point 1,2,4 and the promise is related to her safety. And since it is so connected with the original story and that scene is one of the most important scenes of the movie, this is one of the things that have ties with the original story! Well, don't expect he'll tell this directly. He is a mystery writer after all. He only gives clues and makes us deduce.

Conclusion:

From what Gosho said, it is clear that this promise can be categorised as CANON or has TIES with the original story! Especially when at the end he said the movie lots of ties with the original story, considering it's a promise made by an important, serious and famous character like Shuichi!

Gosho drew Shuichi there. He was the one who came up with the scene and even he wasn't, then he 100℅ agreed with the scene as he checks and changes the script before it gets passed as a storyboard. Because they needed the vision to animate before, Gosho gave them a perfect picture of how Shuichi should talk and smile. Now Gosho made him smile that much( look at the one above the snap of the animated one) given that he rarely smiles, and he makes a big deal when he smiles so it's a biggie!

Here is the treat ;) Gosho actually loved that scene! He was so much excited to see the scene of Jodie and Shuichi and he loved it! Here is the article 👇

I believe it was said by Monkey Punch, the one who draws for the movies. Here is the translation- again thank you @geissbock ❤️❤️

"Gosho loves the scene of Akai and Jodie most. He was really excited. He is some kind of weird person that loves that scene right?(laugh). When I write something different from him he's not that excited. I think he feels good when he sees something new and fresh"

Mark Gosho's love for the scene and his excitement! Now that scene is iconic for Shuichi himself! It's very important for Shuichi considering his dark past with both the women especially when the scene is after Akemi's death. Then Gosho must be really careful about doing something like that. But he even included that scene on his own, we can say that from the translation part, drew Shuichi himself and checked the script and what not, to pass on the storyboard to animate it. He could have simply added something while they were dating but...he didn't. So? Yep, it's very very safe to say that Shuichi still loves Jodie, from Gosho's POV and his works( isn't that how we perceive the ultimate truth of the DC universe?).

Fan services

Fan service is a broad term. After collecting information is from various sites like Wikipedia, Medium daily, qoura and every other sites that appeared after googling it, here is what I analysed and here it is summarised-

Fan services are the scenes in Anime as well as Manga, which are done to please the audience which has no relevance with the actual story whatsoever. Example- Zero's tea time. It has no connection with the Manga as it doesn't contribute to the original story. Similarly, the plot of movies is considered non-canon because they are for fans to enjoy, a type of fan service and doesn't contribute to the original story. Fan services are also there in anime, as well as manga which may or may not contribute nothing to the main story. For example, bikini shots of female characters etc. These kind of racy sexual scenes are fan servises. Conan blushing at Ran's cleavage, his nose starts to bleed etc are fan services but it is 100% Canon. It was purely done for fans to enjoy the chapter. If we take out this scene, the case of Masumi is from Akai family, Conan noticing child form of Mary on Masumi's phone and the murder case would have proceeded without any disturbance. Masumi getting impressed by Momiji's bust size is fan service too. Actually Momiji's bust size doesn't even contribute to the BO investigation XD. Now take an important note that fan services aren't negative thing what usually comes in our mind and not necessary that it's not canon. In manga, it's canon but only for the sake of viewers to enjoy, presented in a flow with the story.

But for this movie, specifically it was mentioned by Gosho that there are a lot of ties with the original story. There is nothing new shown in this movie that hasn't been shown in the manga. And the story is similar to the original story. Okay, I'm not saying the whole movie is considered as canon but from what Gosho said that this movie has lots of ties with the original story. Saving Jodie has always been an important part of the original story and has been contributed to the investigation of BO. She appears only when BO chapters continues. A serious character like Shuichi promising something is not a joke! Also it has been 100% Canon that she does hold an important place in Shuichi's heart. She is an important part of his life, in his past, in the preset and now that I have already proven that how much she is important to him so also in future. Its undeniable that she is different from other agents. So Jodie's safety has always been canon, important for the main plot of BO, and her importance in Shuichi's life. It's not only canon but it contributes to the main story, that is BO. HENCE IT'S NOT A FAN SERVICE! So it's certain that this scene is one of the things that has ties with the original story which is not done just for the viewer to enjoy but will contribute to the original story. But the whole movie, blasts, accidents Jodie meeting Masumi, these are non-canon.

Summary-

It has been proven that, Shuichi still loves Jodie, more than his own life. He is willing to go to any lengths to save her life. His terrible past didn't make him hesitate a little to practically admit in front of Jodie, that how important she is to him. This means his feelings for Jodie never changed! That's what his CURRENT feelings for Jodie. Finally, and most importantly this particular scene from the movie, is Canon! Said and hinted so many times by Gosho himself!

And now, here is a short clip of all scenes of Restarling from the M18 trailer! 😉❤

And really really, thank you for your patience.

❤R❤E❤D❤❤S❤T❤A❤R❤L❤I❤N❤G❤

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lesdreams-author · 3 years ago

Text

Ready or not, love doesn't wait part 2/10

How should she tell Jean about her... Condition... She can't simply goes into her office and say

You know that night we promised to don't bring up ever? Yeah, that night you cheated on your fiance and broke my heart...well, it seems like we are really fucked up because we managed to achieve something most people doesn't. You got me pregnant.

Lisa groans, head hitting the desk.

It's not a miracle to get two women pregnant in Teyvat, not with all the magic and bullshit going on in this world. But it's rare, so rare it's needs a set conditions. Like first, if two women wants to be pregnant they can make a potion, drink and then have sex. Their visions will take care of the rest. The other way is to wait for Venus align with Teyvat, it's a really rare phenomenon, only happening each 10 years. If the women has visions and Teyvat is perfectly align at Venus, the gods will grant those women get pregnant.

Everybody knows this story but it's so rare nobody really believes in such thing.

Well, turns out it's true. That is the only explanation to Lisa's current state. She even looked at old newspapers to confirm Venus was indeed align that night with Teyvat.

Fucking great

At 25 years Lisa Minci got pregnant from her best friend. Her betrothed beast friend.

( ╹▽╹ )( ╹▽╹ )( ╹▽╹ )

They got out to have dinner together, one thing they aren't doing with so much frequency anymore. Not after that night.

She was going to a date with Diluc but Lisa called, asked to meet her and well, Jean isn't in the mood to look at Diluc's face. She hasn't been for a while now.

Either way, she downs her better clothes - white pants, blue shirt and a leather jacket - and goes to the cat's tail.

The place is packed and she is grateful because when she looks at the bar she remembers that night, remembers Lisa's lips, her taste, the abundantly fluids on her tongue, the way her body shivered when she sucked her slowly.

A sighs is released on the air. She can't think, she can't remember that night. They are friends and can't only remain like that.

Her wedding is getting closer by the minute and her father is pressuring her all the time about heirs.

She shakes her head and searches the place for Lisa's profile. When she realizes her friend isn't here yet she chooses a table near the back of the room and sits.

Since that night she can't stop thinking how she feels towards Lisa. Can't stop comparing the boring sex she has with her fiance and the earth shaking one she had with Lisa.

Yeah, she knows she doesn't really likes Diluc but she thought she would come to like him with time. He is an okay guy - most the times - it's just, he is boring, he bores her to death and after having Lisa...nothing is the same.

She rises her head and sees Lisa looking for her, watches the way her simple dress hugs all the right curves on her body without being scandalous. When her green eyes meet her blues, Jean feels that pressure again, that anticipation building up on her stomach.

Soon Lisa is seating in front of her, red lips opening in a sheepshly smile, apologizing for her tardiness.

Jean doesn't mind, she wouldn't mind wait for Lisa forever.

L: " should we order?"

Lisa asks, finally breaking Jean daydream. She nods.

They make their order, Lisa ordering some pasta and chicken - no wine tonight what makes Jean confused. - while Jean asks for a crab stew and bear.

They talk about nothing, enjoying each other company, eating Delicious dishes.

It's only when the desert is delivered - a chocolate pie for both of them - that Jean finally asks.

J: " I liked this dinner but you seemed worried on the phone. Did you had something to tell me?"

She watches the way Lisa fidgets with her hands, her eyes roaming the room. Jean wants to touch her, to offer her support for whatever is making Lisa anxious but she doesn't. She fears if she touches Lisa, she will not know how to stop.

So she keeps quiet, eyes on Lisa while she pretends to eat her pie.

After a few minutes - maybe half hour, Jean isn't sure but it seems like that to her - when her pie is already I side her stomach Lisa says.

L: " I ..I have some news..."

Jean lifts an eyebrow and nods.

J: " to me?"

Lisa nods and after a while her lips trembles in an attempt to a smile.

L: " Congratulations, you will be a mother."

(ㆁωㆁ)(ㆁωㆁ)(ㆁωㆁ)(✿^‿^)

J: " " wait...what?"

She chuckles, anxiety building up and confusion lacing her words.

Lisa sighs, shoulders dropping.

J: " is it a joke? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant. I had my period like, a few weeks ago."

Lisa sighs again.

L: " Yeah...I'm sorry....I don't know how to say it."

Jean frows.

J: " okay, you are freaking me out...what is going on?"

Lisa fingers fidget on too of the table and then she says, eyes on hers.

L: " I'm...pregnant..."

Jean looks at her for a long while, not really understanding anything. Is it really happening? Is Lisa joking around with her?

J: " I don't follow...You...are pregnant?"

Lisa nods slowly and Jean chuckles, trying to mask her heart squeezing painfully.

J: " Oh...I...I see... congratulations then. Who is the lucky fella?"

Lisa frows, head cocking to the side.

L: " I'm nine weeks pregnant."

Jean stops, eyebrow frowing too.

So what? She is nine weeks pregnant, it's early, only three months and...

Jean stops against. Nine weeks...It's like, around the january...around the time they had their thing, that Incrideble night she can't stop remembering.

Jean swallows.

J: " I see...So you are dating someone?"

She can't stop cave her own grave. Because it's not too after they got together that Lisa found someone, the baby's father and...Jean swallows. She shouldn't be judging Lisa, after all Lisa is single, she should find someone who will love her and Jean in a state of guilty spend an awful and bland night with Diluc too after their fling. So really, Jean doesn't have any right to be jealous, to feel broken.

L: " I...I'm not...I'm not dating anyone, Jean."

Jean frows. If Lisa isn't dating anyone so what she wants to say with it?

J: " I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm not understanding you. Who is the father? Are you like, planning to be a single mother or... I'm really confused."

Lisa groans and it shouldn't sound so sexy as it is, even more when Lisa is talking about the kid she is expecting, from some random guy.

L: " it's your baby, you stubborn woman!"

Jean smirks and then laughs.

Gosh, Lisa is crazy.

J; " Okay, I see now. You are joking with me. You really got me there, you know. For a moment I thought-"

She stops, Lisa face serious and a little bit angry.

L: " I'm not joking, Jean!"

Something inside her shifts, anxiety and fear bubbling on her stomach and making her see double.

J: " Lisa, it's not the time to joke about it."

L: " I'm not. Can you listen to me?"

Jean shakes her head, hands starting to sweat.

J: " look, you know we shouldn't be talking about that night, you know I'm marrying Diluc soon, so what is your angle here? I'm a female, I can't get you pregnant!"

Lisa face closes up, Jean can see it - as if a wall was builder up in front of her eyes -, the way her lips tighten in a fine line, the little vein in between her eyes throbbing, even though her bangs covers it most the time.

Jean opens her mouth to say something else but Lisa makes her snap it shut. Lisa voice is so calm and low, so serious it makes Jean heart plummet to her feet.

L: " I don't expect anything from you. I know you are marrying that..." She spats, disgusted and angry " guy, that you like him enough to it and you don't really like women. I know it all, after all you told me that."

Jean swallows, ashamed and sad.

L: " I came here just to say it because its the right thing to do. I expected more from you, not it you said. I would never make it up. If you don't know, that night was Venus and Teyvat alignment night. We had sex at the exact time!"

Shit

She always thought it was a tale told to kids not an actually fact.

Jean tries to say something, to apologize and ask more but Lisa doesn't let her.

L: " Anyway, if you want to accept it, fine if not, fine too. For me it doesn't matter. "

She watches Lisa rises from her chair and turn around. Jean rises too, reaching for her arm.

J: " Lisa, please."

L: " I have to go. If you want to talk, we can do it later."

She is left only with the empty table and a bill to pay.

Fuck

She says to herself.

What the actual fuck happened

Jean is 25, working up her ass to ascend in the knight of Favonus and turn into the Grand Master of Mondstadt. Jean is 25 and betrothed to a guy she barely liked. Jean is 25 and her wedding is scheduled to the end of the year. Jean is 25 and she got her best friend, her biggest crush, pregnant.

Fuck me

To be continued

#jeanlisa #lisa genshin impact #jean genshin impact #genshin impact #yuri #lesbian couple #purple dandelion #jean x lisa #lesbian #ready or not mini fic #pregnant lisa #mini fic

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poyomon2 · 5 years ago

Note

Lol someone beat me to it :") How about them with 25? Thanks!

25. “What the hell were you thinking?!”(Aoi/Yusaku)

This was a concept. Set post-series.

Aoi breathed a sigh of relief as she spotted Playmaker - Yusaku - off in the distance, out in the expanse of junk data.

Then she summoned the whip attached to her account, sending it out to wrap around him and pull him in even faster. As he was brought closer, she put a scowl on her face as he avoided eye contact.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” She berated. He continued to avoid eye contact, shrugging at her question, so she continued. “You could have been severely hurt, or even died out there! I know you want to find the trace of Ai that you can feel, but you need to put your own safety first. You’re worrying all of us, me included.”

Yusaku nodded lightly, but then responded. “You’re right. Sorry. But you’re mistaken. I didn’t go out to look for Ai this time. There was another reason I went out there.”

“Why?” She asked, confused. “The only reason you’ve been going out there is to look for Ai, why else would you go out there?”

He gave a small smile, then quickly wiped it from his face. “I saw something else out there last time I went out, so I went to check it out instead.”

Aoi nodded, accepting the explanation but not calming down. “What was it?”

Yusaku hesitated, then shook his head. “I can’t tell you yet. Maybe in a few days. It’s a surprise.”

“Will you be going back out there again?” She asked, a hint of concern creeping through her anger. It was enough to destabilise her entire facade, and her shoulders dropped. “I don’t want to lose you to a stupid mistake.”

He laid a hand on hers. “Don’t worry, I won’t be going back out there for a while. I just can’t tell you what I found yet.”

“Good.” She snorted, turning away from him. “If you were planning to go out there again I was going to go with you. You’re too stubborn. Stop worrying us by going on your own.”

He smiled at her. “Sorry. And, thanks. For putting up with this. I promise you can come along whenever you want after this. I haven’t been fair to you.”

Aoi nodded quietly.

Yusaku glanced at his duel disk, and then logged out before she could turn back to see the small light glowing within it.

—

Aoi’s phone vibrated in the middle of class, and she discreetly checked it. A rare message from Yusaku, asking her to meet up online as soon as she was free.

She resisted an urge to send a snarky text back saying that he should be at school. He would ignore it anyway.

The message set her brain into motion, thinking about why he could possibly want to meet up.

It caused her to completely crash when asked a question by the teacher, but she was well ahead of the rest of the class anyway. She only attended because she had to.

The end of class couldn’t come fast enough, and when the bell rang she was gone, heading straight home while sending Yusaku a message saying she would be on soon.

Her phone vibrated, and she checked it before ignoring the new message. It was nothing important. Just the club president questioning where she was. She’d forgotten there was a club tournament today.

She currently had better things to do. She always won, anyway.

It didn’t take her long to arrive home, racing past the maid robot as it greeted her and heading straight for her room, locking the door behind her.

Finally ready, she fished her duel disk from her bag, putting it on and sitting down on a chair.

“Into the VRAINS!”

—

Before she could even spend a second to get her bearings, a message came from Yusaku, surprising her. He was never this fast.

It didn’t even have any words, just a set of coordinates for her to locate him with. A spot close to the edge of the world.

Summoning her D-Board, she set off in that direction in a hurry. He seemed to be in a rush to meet with her, so she might as well get over there quickly.

After over half an hour, she finally began to approach the place, grumbling. If he wanted to meet so badly, did he have to choose somewhere so far away?

She could see him waiting, and as she came in for a landing, he turned his head to face her, giving a small smile and an uncharacteristic wave.

She landed a few metres away, then walked up next to him.

“You’re acting weirdly.”

Yusaku smiled at her again, though this time there was a wisp of sadness in his expression. He looked out at the expanse of junk data, and she followed his gaze.

“I’m not going to spend as much time looking for Ai anymore.”

Her eyes widened, but before she could say anything, he continued.

“He doesn’t want to be found. Every time I think I’m getting close, he just goes further away. Usually into more dangerous areas. He knows I’m looking for him, and doesn’t want me to find him. So I won’t.”

She glanced at him, and blinked when she saw the traces of tears forming at his eyes before he raised a hand to wipe them away.

She didn’t know how to respond to that, so she just nodded her head. But there was still a question burning at her. “Did you call me out here just to tell me that?”

“No,” he said. “I could have told you when I tell everyone else, but..” He lifted his arm, showing her his duel disk. “I found something else out there.”

She stared at the disk, confused.

An eye blinked. Then a small head popped out of it and she froze.

“Aqua?” She whispered, stretching out a hand.

The Water Ignis nodded at her. “Aoi.” Aqua climbed out of Yusaku’s duel disk, and flew off to land on her hand.

“I’ve missed you.” Aoi said to her, then looked up at Yusaku. “How did you…”

“I found her the other day… she wasn’t in good shape, so I didn’t want to tell you when you confronted me. She’s still recovering, but,” He gave her a sad smile again. “Even though you didn’t know her for long, I know how much she meant to you.”

“You brought her back… for me?” Her voice was quiet. “Thank you.”

He flinched. “Don't… say that. I-” He sighed. “I said it the other day. I haven’t been fair to you. Not just recently, though. Ever since-” He looked down at the ground. “Since I met Ai. You were always there.”

Aoi was silent.

“Blue Maiden.” He paused. “No… Aoi. You were always there. Even when we weren’t on the same side, you weren’t malicious. You had the least reason of all of us to do anything, and yet, you always came along, for your own reasons. Even when you had no idea who anyone was, save that we were all connected.”

“I should have told you who I was a long time ago. But I was stubborn. Even still… you tried to be friends with me. Without even knowing I was Playmaker.”

He finally turned to face her fully, and her eyes widened as he hugged her.

“Thank you.”

#vrains #aoi zaizen #yusaku fujiki #angelmakershipping #sienasiesta #asks #thank you for the prompt!#sorry it took so long ;;;;#vrains ficstuff #poyo writing ficstuff

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fearlyssa · 6 years ago

Text

Something to consider

In honor of Karlie’s birthday today here’s something for those who don't believe Taylor could be with Karlie because they chose to only believe Taylor’s own words: a list of the lyrics on Reputation (Taylor’s own words) that reference Karlie vs those that reference Joe. I tried my best to be impartial and include everything on both sides but just a warning it’s SUPER long! So if you don’t feel like reading it or don’t have the time then keep scrolling. But for anyone who’s interested here’s what I came up with (including explanations of the references and links if I have them; feel free to disagree or add any I missed, I tried to think of everything so I realize some may be a bit of a stretch)

Lyrics that point to Karlie:

Ready for it:

1. Younger than my exes (she’s 26 today, younger than most people Taylor has supposedly dated, male or female)

2. No one has to know (they’re closeted)

End Game:

3. We got big reputations (they’re both famous; Joe was relatively unknown until recently)

4. You and me would be a big conversation (they’re both famous and both women who are supposedly dating men so if they were found out - at least right now - it would cause a scandal)

Don't blame me:

5. I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I'd lose my mind

6. For you I would fall from grace, just to touch your face (This applies to the line above as well; her reputation would be ruined if people found out she was lying about her dating life causing her to “fall from grace” but she loves her enough to risk it by continuing to date her secretly)

7. I once was poison ivy but now I’m your Daisy (at first listen this line might sound like nothing more than a Mavel and/or Great Gatsby reference but according to this person they both like Marvel comics and check out how the daisy she drew in the handwritten lyrics in one of the Reputation magazines looks just like the one Karlie posted from their Big Sur trip in 2014. 👀

Delicate:

8. Dark jeans and your Nikes (she models for Adidas now but was doing Nike ads when they met)

9. Never seen that color blue (maybe a stretch but Karlie's eyes are a shade of green that can sometimes look blue so that may be a shade of blue she's never seen before. And I won’t add this to the list because it’s not Karlie-specific but the girls back home line is also not necessarily straight as lesbians and bisexuals, just like guys, date women and ‘back home’ can reference anyone who’s not from exactly where you’re from. They’re from different parts of the country for instance)

So it goes:

10. All eyes on us (they're both famous, have been on stage together three times and used to often be seen together by paps in public - which I do believe was on purpose; this line reminds me of the chorus of This is what you came for too)

11. Lipstick on your face (there's candids of Karlie with lipstick smudged on her face in pictures with Taylor from July 14th 2014 - as well as pictures of Taylor from her 25th birthday - and I believe another day too -, where she’s with Karlie and has on one shade of lipstick but a while has Karlie’s shade of lipstick smudged over hers and vice versa. Note how their lipstick looks in the top two photos from her birthday party compared vs the bottom two)

Gorgous:

12. I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk (the weird way Karlie says important)

13. Your magnetic field being a little too strong (they’re very physically affectionate with each other and often bump shoulders when sitting next to each other as if they literally have magnets in them)

14. I got a boyfriend, he's older than us (she often dates guys older than her and Karlie is younger than them and her. Imo it refers to her bearding with Calvin specifically)

15. You’re so Gorgeous I can’t say anything to your face (At VSFS 2013 where they first met Taylor looks in awe of her like she doesn’t know what to say. She definitely looks like she thinks she’s gorgeous and while the term could refer to anyone, it's usually a female descriptor and she's literally a model for a living who is known for her beauty and has, seemingly on purpose, used the word on IG right around when the song came out. And on an unrelated note I also want to point out that the ‘If you got a girlfriend’ line is not strictly male-oriented so although it’s not specifically Karlie-related it could still apply to a bisexual or lesbian woman)

King of my heart:

16. like trying on clothes (another somewhat female reference and she's a model so she does that for a living so therefore even more often than most people)

17. Move to me like a Motown beat (As mentioned in the caption of their IG post about it she & Karlie listened to Motown while getting ready for the Met Gala in 2014 so it's safe to say they’re both fans of the genre and enjoy listening to it together)

18. American queen (I know they're both American but Karlie has referred to her as an American dream before which you'll notice was the original lyrics when Taylor was writing & recording the song)

19. Your love is a secret I'm hoping, praying, dying to keep (this is pretty obvious but if she’s closeted then her love life is obviously a secret she’d want to keep)

20. Drinking beer out of plastic cups (I know this line is pretty general and she seems to be referring to a different time when she was up on a roof but it should be noted that the only time she’s been seen drinking beer in a plastic cup prior to the album coming out she was with Karlie)

Dress:

21. Our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea about me and you (you can see them having private moments at events in candid photos and videos such at award shows, the VSFS and at the 1975 concert. All times when tons of people were around but didn’t seem to notice or care if they were affectionate with each other because everyone knows they’re close and just thinks they’re friends)

22. Golden tattoo (they wore them together at Drake's birthday party last October. And maybe this is reaching but some of them were stars and “gold star” lesbians are those who have never “been with” a man, Idk about Taylor, but Karlie is rumored to be one.)

23. I don't want you like a best friend (they’re known as best friends so that one’s obvious)

24. I’m spilling wine in the bathtub (in the photo of her and Karlie getting ready for the Met Gala in 2014 you can see that Taylor has drunk wine in the bathroom with Karlie before)

25. Everyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing (A common problem when you’re famous because a lot of people know OF you but don’t really KNOW you or your relationships like they might think they do. She also references this in the album prologue but when it comes to Joe, not many people knew of him before he dated her so he doesn’t have a big reputation or people who think they know him) Dancing with our hands tied:

26. I loved you in secret (again sounds like it references being closeted)

27. 25 years old (Karlie’s age up until today and *almost* Taylor’s age when Kissgate happened)

28. People started talking putting us through our paces (again sounds like it refers to Kissate; people didn't talk about her and Joe, only the media did months later when the album was already finished and she says never to believe them anyway. Plus you have to wonder how they already knew of her secret relationship with him even before pictures had come out of them together)

29. I had a bad feeling...but we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied (they were dancing closely/kind of kissing at a 1975 concert in 2014 and someone got a video and pictures that made it into many articles starting Kissgate. You can see in pictures how upset Karlie and their friends looked walking back from the concert that night carrying a very drunk Taylor. Maybe she knew there'd be a shit storm about it the next day but didn't care and did it anyway because she was so drunk. Their hands would then have been tied metaphorically speaking and they would’ve had to do what they had to do which was to keep dating guys publicly and to stop being seen alone together)

30. I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would decide us (as the world sometimes tries to do with gay relationships, not so much straight ones)

31. So baby can we dance, oh through an avalanche (same points as above ^)

Call it what you want:

32. My baby's fit like a daydream (I know "fit" is English slang but still, Karlie is quite physically fit - she literally ran a marathon like the day after the song came out and in the Vouge Best friends video Taylor mentions her shiny abs)

33. Walking with his head down (I realize she's not a man but being as tall as she is she does do that a lot)

34. So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to (some people say they're friends, others say they're in a romantic relationship, a lot of people think they broke up or are no longer friends and don’t even talk anymore etc.)

New Year's Day:

35. This is maybe a slight stretch but the references to a girl's party and polaroids that she often takes with her friends make me think of women and not really men, and as someone whose been to her house I can vouch that she has a lot of polaroids of her female friends; many of Karlie specifically displayed in her sitting room as well as a photo of them at Big Sur that she keeps in one of her bathrooms but not as many photos of guys who it’s hard to imagine would fit in all that well at a party like that but maybe that’s just me)

lyrics that refer to Joe:

In general:

1. The words he, him & his (and anything else masculine-sounding like the word handsome and king in reference to a current relationship. I guess this is a bunch of references but I didn’t actually count how many times she said he on the album because that would be a lot. lol):

Ready for it:

2. Younger than my exes (some of them anyway; her two most recent ones)

Don't blame me:

3. Toying with them older guys (he's younger than Calvin and Tom as is she however note that she's admitting to using them which seems like more of a reference to a bearding contract unless we're to believe she's admitting to being horrible to her exes)

Delicate:

4. never seen that color blue (his eyes are blue)

5. girls back home (they live in different counties)

So it goes:

6. wear you like a necklace (she has one with his initial on it. I’ve been told it’s a lesbian term as well but I didn’t add it to Karlie’s list as it’s not specific to her)

Gorgeous:

7. I got a boyfriend he's older than us -Sunset & vine (where his movie premiere was last October although we now know the song was written in September and interestingly enough the area is also well-known for it's gay bars)

King of my heart:

8. king of my heart (king is a male term and they have royalty in England)

9. Say you fancy me not fancy stuff (fancy is British slang for liking someone)

10. salute to me I'm your American queen (she’s American and he’s from the UK where they still have royalty)

Dress:

11. flashback when you met me your buzz cut, my hair bleached (if it's in fact true that they met at the Met Gala in 2016 that they both attended then that's a reference to the hairstyles they both had at the time though tbh the timeline doesn't really make sense for that to be true)

Call it what you want:

12. My baby's fit like a daydream (Fit is British slang for attractive and he's also physically fit)

13. Call it what you want (in reference to weather or not the relationship is real)

14. I want to wear his initial on a chain around my neck (because she wears a necklace with a J on it)

So there you go. I'm not saying you have to believe the album is about Karlie or not about Joe but there do appear to be a LOT more references to her so I'll just leave it up to you to decide what you want to believe, I just thought I'd post this to prove that there is in fact evidence to support Kaylor, it's not just a baseless conspiracy theory.

#Taylor Swift #Karlie Kloss #Kaylor #Joe Alwyn #Reputation

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