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wangxianficfinder · 2 months ago

Text

In the mood for...

Nov 6th

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1. Hello! Thank you everyone and the admins for doing the great work 🥰

A - Itmf for fics where Wei Wuxian (or someone else) develops a talisman/curse or somehing that shows people's bio relations (maybe to prove he is not a Jiang/to prove the Jins evil/any other reason), and the use of such thing causes secrets and misdeeds of others to turn up. Any kind of chaotic or angsty energy and everyone in shock and trying to manage the damage of their secrets aired out for the audience.

I have no preference over whether Wei Ying turns out to a Wen/actually Jiang/anything else, but it would be great if he finds out he is not all alone in the world in means of blood and is accepted into someone's loving arms. The Lan family angst is cool, but please no Lan Xichen or Lan Zhan's bashing (But everyone else can have a field day)

B - As an alternative, just a modern AU with Wei Ying doing some kind of DNA testing to prove his relations and the concequences/reactions of others is also acceptable.

P.S. I have recently read All Things Belong by kuroi_atropos, amazing work, so i wanted to read something else in this field. Definitely recommend! @shellennium

1A)

❤️ And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) it occurs in chapter 12. my suggestion for 1a fills the first half of the request, WWX doesn't discover any relatives though

Debts of a Child Part 2 by Hauntcats (M, 111k, WangXian, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters., hurt no comfort for Jiang siblings.)

Cuckold by ramber (M, <1k, Madam Jin/OMC)

Sunset, Sunrise by Ariana Deralte (ArianaDeralte) (T, 57k, WWX & WRH, WangXian, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Crack, Temporary Character Death, sorry I killed a-Yuan for a few paragraphs before the time travel, WWX is a Wen, Genius WWX, WRH gets to rewatch the series as a treat, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, in this house we acknowledge that all the sects have flaws, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, WWX Has ADHD, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Autistic LWJ) (link in 8C)

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2. hello! thank you for all the work you do. itmf: wangxian not returning to cloud recesses post-canon and them having a strained relationship with the lans that wwx IS NOT guilty about. no CQL please. bonus if sizhui leaves with them but not required

tails and scales series by notsofluffyunicorn (E, 37k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, LWJ Has Feelings, LWJ Needs a Hug, LWJ Leaves the Gusu Lan Sect, Hair Brushing, tail brushing, No World Building, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Autistic LWJ, Selectively Mute LWJ, because of anxiety, Healthy Communication, Soft WangXian, Married WangXian, Smut, A/B/O, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX,Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, tail pulling, Rough Sex, LWJ Has a Biting Kink, LWJ & WWX Have a Breeding Kink, Dirty Talk, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Domestic Fluff, Mpreg, Pregnant WWX, Chronic Pain, Protective LWJ, Protective WWX, Canon Divergence, Gusu Lan Sect Bashing, slight LXC bashing, But that will get better in future stories, non-graphic birth, Introspection, Rimming, POV LWJ, POV WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, No Wen remnants, WangXian Are LSZ's Parents, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ's 33 Lashes Punishment, No Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, WWX in WWX's Body, Parents WangXian, Shedding season) but it's an au so it doesn't exactly fit. They leave though and live their best lives

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3. itmf fics where some combination of lwj-wwx-jc one killing the other, accidentally or otherwise.

ok if it includes mxy resurrecting wwx, or wwx raising lwj-jc as a corpse à la wen ning, but I’m not looking for this as a jumping off point for time travel or that kind of fix it. not bashing, I just want them to feel their feelings. bonus if jyl is alive in especially in a jc-wwx scenario.

💖 Regrets by antebunny (G, 37k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Time Travel, Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Explicit Descriptions of Love, and other squishy feelings, Angst with a Happy Ending) it's cql canon and uh LWJ accidentally stabs WWX in nightless city

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4. Hi! I have an ITMF! Fics where WWX is treated poorly or cruelly in the Cloud Recesses after marrying LWJ, can be with him knowing or not (or even participating), post canon or not, and him (and maybe LSZ) being rescued by one of the Jiangs or Jin Ling (or even someone else). I don't mind AUs as long as it's not modern setting ones! Bonus points if it has Jiang Yanli in it :) Thanks!! @jiangclaritybell

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending) it covers some of what you seek. Be prepared it's very angsty.

To Bring You Back Within My Reach by ablaiseofglory (M, 22k, WIP, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, No dubious consent, Adopted Children, Kid Fic, A/B/O Dynamics, omega wwx, Alpha LWJ, Misunderstandings) to bring you back within my reach by ablaiseofglory. It's a WIP but it recently updated

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5. in the mood for a fic where wangxian are VERY freak4freak or codependent… equally unhealthily obsessed w each other <3 @xinilia

truly a love story for the ages by sweetlolixo (E, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, Omegaverse, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Dark!Wangxian, Power Couple, slight daddy kink, Crack, Pregnant WWX) but I'm not sure if the vibe truly fits, they are freak4freak

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6. Hiii... for the next itmf post, please recommend some lengthy time travel fics. Please can it be newer fics (2023 / 2024) and fully completed fics. Wangxian pairing, of course. Thank you 😊 🙏

there are multiple in the Same Moon Shines series by sami

Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It)

🔒 Here With Me by iamwish (T, 58k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, wwx turns this into a no war!au, Canon-Typical Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Bad Parent YZY, POV WWX, POV LWJ, POV JC, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Has PTSD, and also depression sometimes, Unreliable Narrator, (all of them))

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 163k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love)

We’ll Build A Dynasty (one the heavens can’t shake) by One_eyed_God (T, 66k, WangXian, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, WWX & JYL, canon typical Jiang family dynamics, BAMF WWX, Canon JC Characteristics, POV Outsider, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, WWX is a Wen, Sect Leader WWX, Genius WWX, The Casual Intimacy of Hand-Holding, A Love Letter to WWX, Not JC Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It)

🔒Til Death Do Us Part by Thyone14 (Not Rated, 73k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, WWX Needs a Hug, Protective LWJ, Soft WangXian, POV LWJ, POV Alternating, No Smut, POV WWX)

The Stranger Inside My Son by Mademoiselle_A (T, 73k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, But from an outsider's POV, JC is So Done, JFM's A+ parenting, YZY's A+ Parenting, Both are not great but this is not a bashing fic, JC-centric, But from JFM's POV lol, POV Outsider) is focused on Jiang Cheng but Wangxian do get together in it.

🔒if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect)

💖 The Echoes of that News Ring Loud by Scarlet_Gryphon (T, 111k, NHS & NMJ, 3zun, sangning, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, nie wwx, happy ending)

Moments of Revelation by meyari (T, 133k, ChengSang, WangXian, XiYao, POV JC, Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, not anyone we care about, Time Travel Fix-It, Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Chronic Pain, Chronic anxiety, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Chronic Mental Health Issues, Assassination, renamed MY, Families of Choice, Unreliable Narrator(s), Demonic Possession) Plus others by the same author

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes) is my fav time travel long fic but it was late 2022 so it doesn't exactly match the newer fics (2023 / 2024) qualification.

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7. ITMF fics where wwx gets a different title? Like in “dispersing clouds” or “flowers blooming” he has a different title than YL - if there’s smut, no b!lwj, and ideally nothing cql compliant (but donghua/novel/audio drama/manhua/etc is fine) @lovelyiknow

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, WWX & WN &WQ, WWX & JYL, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, WWx does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Not JC Friendly, but he gets a happier ending than canon so don’t look here for bashing)

🧡 All will be well when the day is done by abCEE (T, 76k, WangXIan, Canon Divergence, Fix It, Not Jiang Family Friendly, JFM & YZY Bashing, Fix it for our main characters, Time Travel, Butterfly Effect, Madam Lan Lives, No Sunshot Campaign, Artistic License, Unreliable Narrator, JC Bashing, non-yunmeng WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Good Uncle LQR, OOC, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WWX gets the love and care that he deserves from the very beginning, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiangs, verbal and physical (c/o Zidian) abuse from YZY) link in #8B

🔒💖 Resilience. by Vrishchika (T, 7k, WangXian, Time Travel, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Self-Indulgent)

💙🔒 Away from Trouble by Ilona22 (M, 15k, WangXian, Not JC Friendly, LWJ/WWX Get a Happy Ending)

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Eventual WangXian, No Golden Core Transfer, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, What if WWX saw the first siege of the burial mounds and said Nope to the war, OCs, OC point-of-view for one chapter for plot reasons)

Take Responsibility by draechaeli (E, 187k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mainly Novel with a few CQL and Donghua bits, Everybody Lives, Original Children Characters, Adoption, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Mpreg, Teen Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Male Lactation, Lactation Kink, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Pregnant Sex, easy to skip nsfw chapters, Fix-It, Happy Ending)

🧡 the river brought you here by chilianxianzi (Not Rated, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, POV Outsider, Amnesia, Past abuse, Strangulation, Found Family)

Trials of Time by Muggle_Diary (E, 32k, wangxian, major character death, underage, time travel, not jiang friendly, not YZY friendly, not JC friendly, butterfly effect)

To Sizhui by countingcr0ws (E, 21k, WangXian, Librarian LWJ, Mistaken Identity, Requited Love, Mental Link, Soul Bond, Genius WWX, Romance, Fluff, Banter, Epistolary, Love Poems, Footnotes, Smut, Laughter During Sex, Cultivation Sect Politics, Canon Divergence, Love Letters)

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8. I'm looking for fics where A) YZY does sever WWX hand and things still go bad for YMJ (no cql characterization please, I don't like JC, so novel canon please) , B) Madam Lan lives (her best life and if the Wei couple is alive too - amazing), C) the two Nie Furen - any fics that talk or have any of them live, D) WWX (and maybe LWJ) raises a daughter or interacts with his grandchildren. Thank you! @secretartquotes

8A)

💖 Love made visible by Moominmammashandbag (M, JYL/ZZL, wangxian, hurt/Comfort, amputation, major character injury, sibling love, angst w happy ending, cooking as cultivation, attempted rape/non-con, sexual assault, minor character death, family angst, dysfunctional family, protective siblings, near drowning, amnesia)

8B)

in stillness, clear water to the bottom by Stratisphyre (T, 40k, CSSR/WCZ/LQR, LQR & Madam Lan, CSSR & LQR, LQR & WWX, Sect Leader Nie/NHS's Mother/NMJ's Mother, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Threesome - M/M/F, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Everyone lives, (mostly), (not you qingheng-jun), Family feelings, Madam Lan lives, references to past rape)

The Dreams of Youth by sami (E, 86k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, family, not lan sect friendly, canon typical violence & gore, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, mothers who live, some people live/not everyone dies)

Sail Away Sweet Sister by sami (M, 73k, WangXian, YZY/CSSR/MDM Lan, MingLi, Time Travel, EXTREME Canon Divergence, Wide Focus Narrative, Some People Live/Not Everyone Dies, Most Named/Canon Characters Live, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Families of Choice, Parenthood, this work contains a major tonal shift, Fluff, Angst, Underage Sex, not particularly explicit, but not at all ambiguous, PTSD, Only a tiny bit, Unforeseeable consequences, The butterfly effect, Slightly Dark JYL, Asexual Characters, but that’s not really the focus, Canon-Typical Violence)

💖 An Unexpected Visitor by Hauntcats (G, 8k, QHJ/Madam Lan, wangxian, fix-it of sorts, not Jiang friendly, not jin friendly, happy ending)

Every Mother’s Son by Chrononautical (T, 11k, WangXian, Madam Lán Lives, Madam Lán Deserves Better, Madam Lán Leaves Cloud Recesses, Madam Lan rescues women from abusive husbands in feudal Japan and honestly that’s so valid of her, mentions of rape/non-con between Madam Lan & Qingheng-Jun)

no step had trodden black by Stratisphyre (T, 32k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, JYL/JZX, canon divergence, madam lan lives, past rape, golden core reveal, hurt/Comfort, referenced to attempted suicide & suicidal thoughts, canon-typical violence)

8C)

8D)

Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, 🔒[PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)

🔒 Little Stars by Aki_no_hikari (G, 4k, WangXian, Family Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Canon Divergence, Yílíng Wèi Sect)

The Trouble With Politics: a Treatise on Jiang Sect Deputies Gone Rogue by Sect Leader Wei Wuxian by stiltonbasket (G, 56k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Yílíng Wèi Sect, or: the one where yu zhenhong is a wild card, Smitten LWJ, Domestic Fluff, Politics, Happy Ending, Sect Leader WWX, Fix-It of Sorts, JZX still dies though)

Where the Lonely Ones Go by CSHfic & VSfic (T, 24k, WangXian, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Case Fic, Night Hunts Fluff, Established Relationship, Mystery, Married Life, Domestic Fluff, Haunting, Kid Fic, Post-Canon, gratuitous use of empathy)

❤️ Seen and not heard by eatmyass (E, 51k, wangxian, case fic, no sunshot, kid fic, dadxian, strangers to lovers, found family, LWJ pov, pining, fake/pretend relationship, first time, falling in love) Wei Wuxian hasn't yet adopted the children in Seen and not heard but this fic shows him protecting and teaching children.

in a river you wade by bleuett (M, 20k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mpreg, Postpartum Depression, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Good Uncle LQR, Family Feels, Happy Ending, Kid Fic) In "in a river you wade," Lan Wangji gets pregnant with Wei Wuxian's child so we see Lan Wangji raising their daughter after Wei Wuxian's death.

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9. Itmf / fic finder, idk which one to categorise it as hah-

So do we have any Hogwarts au of mdzs where wwx is ofcourse Harry, lqr is snape, Wei - sanren couple are james n lily, someone is voldy, lwj is maybe in Slytherin???? I want this fic or fics like this please! @constellationdks

How to save your school with your Best Friend by Lan_tiger (T, 30k, WangXian, XiYao, Harry Potter Setting, Modified Chamber of Secrets plot, Everyone Is Alive, Including canonically dead parents, Everyone has parents, Chinese magical school, Mostly comedy with some mystery, gryffindor! wwx, ravenclaw! lwj)

Grandmaster of the Magical Arts Series by HollowNightmare (T, 420k, WangXian, Harry Potter Setting, Chinese Hogwarts?, Slice of Life, Developing Friendships, POV Alternating, lwj is an anxious bean, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Angst) although Wei Wuxian is a Slytherin in this one.

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10. itmf fics where the golden core reveal happens in front of everyone?

doesn’t necessarily have to be everyone but at least a group of people? thank you for your help!

A Child’s Wish by Hauntcats (Not rated, 13k, wangxian, WWX & Wen remnants, Celestial meddling, Not JC Friendly, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone gets what they deserve, Age Regression/De-Aging, Child LWJ)

Field Trips with Wei Wuxian by antebunny (G, 42k, WangXian, WQ & WWX, NMJ & WWX, JZX & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, protective Jiang siblings, Unreliable Narrator, due to WWX assuming ppl hate him, JYL is gonna dropkick her baby bro into having friends)

just because it’s what i am by kokozy (G, 4k, wangxian, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death, Ghost WWX, Song: Inquiry, Truth comes to light, Revelations, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Angst, Sad with a Happy Ending)

seldom all they seem by Fahye (E, 25k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, or rather Arranged Betrothal, followed by Weapons-Grade Thirst)

The most dangerous thing is to love by KatAnni (E, 113k, WangXian, Golden Core Reveal, Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Hurt!WWX, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Torture, POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, Panic Attacks, PTSD, Golden Core Transfer, Golden Core Transfer Fix-it, Medical Procedures, Fainting, Major Character Injury, Blood and Injury, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Asexual JC, homophobia doesn’t exist here, Marriage Proposal, Marriage, Wedding Night, Whump)

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11. For itmf- there has to be a wangxian wicked au right? It’s impossible that there isn’t

Grandmaster of Wicked Cultivation by ellienchanted, evilhobbitqueen, nx_for_short, planta_genista, westiec, zylaa (G, 6k, WangXian, Filk, musical theatre, wicked the musical, with apologies to Schwartz and Holzman, Sing along!, Canonical Character Death, Canon Temporary Character Death, Art, Podfic Available, Recording Available for Some Songs!)

No Good For The Wicked by drawifubmen (Not Rated, 2k, WIP, WangXian, Inspired by Wicked, Kinda, inspired by mdzs defying gravity animatic, wwx is a witch, they were roommates, Unreliable Narrator, POV Third Person Omniscient, Wizard of Oz References, Wizard of Oz Fusion, References to Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Star-crossed, Canonical Character Death, Canon Divergence) which is a WIP that recently began.

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12. I've got an ITMF request, if you lovely people would be so kind. I've been reading and enjoying "all the lies on your resume" by someitems, and I was wondering if anyone has suggestions for other modern AUs where the golden core transfer is shown as chronic illness. It could be an actual golden core transfer (or partial transfer or golden core loss or whatever) in a modern with cultivation AU or an analogy for Golden Core transfer in a modern AU without magic, whatever. The important thing is that the loss of his golden core or equivalent leaves WWX with chronic illness of some kind (chronic fatigue, or chronic headaches, or needing to be careful about doing normal things so he doesn't get sick, or anything chronic illness can do). No Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli bashing please! Thank you mods and fic finder community! @flamingwell

silt, or scurvy series by astronicht (M, 11k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, chronic illness, Podfic: The Silt or Scurvy Series by raitala) the "silt, or scurvy" series by astronicht shows a couple of small moments in a modern wwx's life as he struggles post loss of core

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13. Hello, itmf

I wonder if anyone wrote the scene where lan zhan says aloud to lan xichen or lan qiren that he is ashamed of them.

Thank you!

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14. Hello again! I've been just wondering if anyone knows a fic where Wei Ying cultivates a womb? As apparently MXTX tweeted that it was possible for him? @lostandmessedup

Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal) Wei Ying develops a spiritual womb through dual cultivation

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15. itmf wangxian fics where wwx is not forced to reconcile with jc/ where jc is his book canon self @chellsky

Preparing the Soil by Rynne (T, 26k, WangXian, LQR & LWJ, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Family Issues, Family Conflict, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Chinese Holidays, Chinese New Year, Birthdays, Good Kid LSZ, Meta Arguments, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, Married WangXian, LWJ’s Birthday, LSZ’s Birthday, Soft WangXian, LWJ Has to Talk a Lot, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Gusu Lan Sect, Letting Go of Resentment, The WWX Rule, Good Sibling LXC, Improving Uncle LQR, Grappling with the Lans’ Part in the Siege, learning to be better, Music, LWJ is a Composer, LWJ Is Good at Communicating Actually, Not JC Friendly)

These Barren Lands In Between by lingering_song (T, 4k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Married WangXian, POV Outsider, Misunderstandings, Cultivation Sect Politics, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Not JC Friendly, No JC & WWX Reconciliation)

🔒 all i take with me by justdoityoufucker (orphan_account) (T, 2k, JL & WWX, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, Canon JC Characteristics, Families of Choice, Night Hunts, Unhealthy Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Healing, no reconciliation, Non-Linear Narrative)

keeping score by hauntedotamatone (T, 6k, LSZ & WWX, Background WangXian, the opposite of reconciliation, Protective WWX, Duelling, Grief/Mourning, not for jc fans, Swordfighting, Resentment, LSZ centric, No JC & WWX Reconciliation)

also some of the chapters from Short Prompts by Vrishchika

peacemaker no more by thelastdboy (G, 6k, JYL & WWX, JC & JYL, JC & JYL & JFM & WWX & YZY, JC & WWX & JYL, JYL & Wen Remnants, JYL & WQ, WangXian, JYL & JZX, Modern, Jiang Family Dynamics, unspecified chronic illness, POV JYL, The Eldest Daughter Experience™, Homophobia, to be specific, JC's Canon Homophobia, Not JC Friendly, Wen Remnants Live, chosen family, No JC & WWX Reconciliation, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression)

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16. hi im looking for fanfics in which wwx attends jl’s birthday ceremony (lmao i forgot how it was called but i hope everybody knows what i mean by it) with a-yuan. thanks!!

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

💖 A Crying Shame by thunderwear (G, 16k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, A-yuan to the rescue, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, Domestic Fluff, Love Confessions, First Kiss, LWJ joins WWX at burial mounds, LWJ is soft pass it on, literally all fluff, Marriage Proposal, Oblivious WWX)

Taking Responsibility by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 6k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Getting Together, Trope Subversion/Inversion, Pretend mpreg, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Fluff and Crack) I don't think it's overtly stated that the beginning of Taking Responsibility takes place during Jin Ling's celebration but it seems like it.

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17. I’m in the mood for any fics with Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli having a strong friendship or bond. Thank you!

picking up the pieces by KouriArashi (M, 111k, JYL & LWJ, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Alternate Canon, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Regret, Family, Kid Fic, Families of Choice, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, canon typical political bullshit, Eventual Happy Ending)

💖 love on 35mm by fakeplasticlily (M, 26k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Swimming, film student LWJ, Pining, Mutual Pining, swimmer WWX, best friends LWJ and JYL, the inherent mortification of being in love with your best friend’s brother, or your older sibling’s best friend)

🔒 forever can never be long enough for me by isshun (T, 12k, WangXian, Modern, Established Relationship, Food as a Metaphor for Love, winter solstice festival, [bangs pots and pans] hello welcome to the loving wei wuxian support group, featuring co-presidents JYL and LWJ getting along and bonding over their love for WWX, JYL and LWJ getting along is my soul and jam, hurt/comfort)

My best friend's brother by mollymijh (E, 16k, WangXian, Mentions of XuanLi, mentions of xiyao, Modern AU, College/University, POV LWJ, Romance, Mutual Pining, Childhood Friends, Protective JYL, JYL and LWJ are best friends, Oblivious LWJ, Guilt, Mentions of drugging, Attempted Sexual Assault, Top LWH/Bottom WWX, Explicit Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, First Time, Dry Humping, Anal Sex, Unprotected Sex)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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walkawaytall · 11 months ago

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I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

#adhd #adult adhd #adhd combined #adhd problems #actually adhd #adhd treatment

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kitkatpancakestack · 8 months ago

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Ah whatever, feeling extra melancholic by my lack of drive to write anything lately. Chronic depressed burnout brain is no joke fellas! Anyway. This is the last thing I wrote forever ago, part of a darker Buck-centric fic I've been planning to write for a while but will probably never finish. Just felt like sharing something!

Even to his best friend, his person—his soulmate, when he’s being honest with himself—he doesn’t know how to say it. That even at Buck’s lowest, Eddie has never seen him stripped bare, degloved; never seen him as nothing but exposed bone. Raw nerve. Dripping muscle and sinew. He’s never seen Buck as the knife, only as the hand removing the knife. Buck just wouldn’t know how to start, how to explain to Eddie the tightrope he walked for most of his life, nothing but a catastrophe on either side if he fell. Wouldn’t know how to explain that he never learned where to put the anger, so he just let it rot and grow new buds deep in his core, in his gut. That he tries to be good. He wants to be good. He is good. He is good, isn’t he, even with the blood staining his skin, smearing over Eddie’s face? Isn’t he? Isn’t he?

Eddie’s face is unwavering in front of him, bloody hands cupping Buck’s bloody face.

He wants to say to Eddie: I feel my childhood like a rope around my neck.

He wants to say: I feel my anger like a knife in my stomach.

He wants to say: I feel my fear like a broken bone that never healed.

Didn’t he spend all that time running away from himself? He thought the ghost hadn’t chased him to LA, that it’d finally left him alone. Evan Buckley. Buck, now. Somebody new. Somebody different. Somebody good.

“It’s okay,” Eddie is telling him, fingers slick through Buck’s matted hair, trailing lines of red down Buck’s face. He can feel the sticky path they leave behind, chilly and damp. “We’ll figure this out. You and me. We’ll figure this out, Buck.”

Buck curls into himself, protecting the soft skin of his belly that he’s certain is nothing but a rotted core, that if Eddie touches him there his entire torso will cave in. And the anger he spent years burying will scurry out.

“You and me,” Eddie tells Buck, a mantra, like this entire situation isn’t completely fucked. “You and me, man. It’s always you and me.”

And Buck wants to tell him: Some parts of me never left my childhood home. They never moved on.

That he’s grown up, but his pain and his anger have stayed the same age.

I wish everyone a very lots of writing <3

#kitkat writes #buddie #evan buckley

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gay-disabled-characters-showdown · 6 months ago

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LBGTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 3, Wave 1, Poll 3

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Wei Wuxian-The Untamed / Mo Dao Zu Shi

Qualifications:

Goes through a somewhat unethical organ transplant (in that the person he is giving the organ to doesn't realize that's what's going on) where he gives up his "golden core." This is like his center of power and by giving it up, not only is he not able to do most of the more "magic" things he could do before, but he's also noticeably physically weaker and gets injured much more easily (and takes longer to recover) as well as faints more often (iirc he only faints once pre-golden core removal and that was after sustaining major injuries and going on for a significant time without any healing while also fighting and traveling). Like he finds ways around it and invents new methods so that he can still do some things that he did before, just via a very different method. In the show we don't really see any characters who aren't cultivators, or at least part of that world, so Wei Wuxian is like the only character we really get to see without a golden core.

Also gotta say that this boy is severely depressed. Like "I'm-going-to-ask-my-doctor-friend-to-perform-a-mutliple-day-long-surgery-on-myself-in-which-I-will-be-awake-where-she'll-rip-out-the-core-of-my-being-and-transplant-it-into-my-adopted-brother-who-I'll-make-sure-never-finds-out-what-happened-even-though-he'll-come-to-hate-me" depressed. he has no value for his own life other than what he can give to others, even if it's his own body. like I think some fans unfairly classify him as being insane when he's really just depressed as all hell and having the worst possible things happen to him one after another and every time he breaks down it causes more trouble and usually people end up dying because of him.

Propaganda:

https://youtu.be/swbXAVADjxY ^ok this clip kinda explains the whole thing better (and obvs spoilers)

https://youtu.be/2wO5nsnkSBk ^and this video is just for fun but it's a little thing about Wei Wuxian & Jiang Cheng because their relationship makes me unwell

Additional Qualifications/Propaganda by @transparent-internet-maker

Kinda surprised ADHD!Wei Wuxian isn't included I thought that was a popular hc. There are several signs: He seems to forget a lot of things, but at the same time he clearly remembers other things that happened a long time ago. He invented a. lot. of things. His mind is almost never where he physically is and he's really smart in that thinks-way-too-much-out-of-the-box-in-a-short-time way. (1/2)

Then there is the fact that he's actually knowledgable, more than most of the others at times, but we see him doing whatever else he wants to instead of studying more often than not. The inventions point and this put together hint at him not being focused and having hyperfixations. And the general view of not studious but still smarter than everyone else just clear adhd I think. NOT trying to hate anyone, I thought I'd just mention this since I've seen a lot of adhd wwx.

Wade Wilson / Deadpool-Marvel

Qualifications:

pansexual who has cancer and [has] chronic pain

Propaganda:

Deadpool is all our favourite mutant/mutate merc with a mouth who suffers from chronic pain and makes others suffer by killing them, he is also pansexual and heartmates with Spiderman (they even have a ~genetically engineered evil~ daughter ~clone~ together)

#polls #poll #disability #disabled characters #lgbtq #lgbtq characters #id in alt text #lgbtq dcs round 3 #lgbtq dcs r3 wave 1 #wei wuxian #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #wade wilson #deadpool #marvel #marvel comics #gotta love how this poll has four ‘w’ names #and i dont even think it was intentional

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 8 months ago

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tuesday again 4/30/2024

most annoying book i've read so far this year under the jump

listening

a lovely polyrhythmic instrumental piece with previously-featured tuesdaysong artist, terrifying master of the cello, abel selaocoe. this is very textured and kind of scrubs at the inside of my skull in a pleasing way. like the kind of back scrubber you can buy with a bamboo handle and the long soft bristles. popped up on my recent releases playlist from spotify.

youtube

reading

really fucking pissed about this book and i am not able to be reasonable about it. i was really thrown, much like the fantasy prince's mother from her carriage as she was being chased by regency gossip reporters, that this was a prince harry/meghan markle RPF AU. i am a bit uncomfy about the fact that our female lead, the fantasy AU meghan markle, is some flavor of fantasy Gaelic instead of fantasy mixed-race. now, i have no particular moral or physical beef with RPF but i don't typically seek it out. but/also/and, much like works about marilyn monroe, i think works with the specter of princess diana are in poor taste. can we leave these women alone maybe

i got about halfway through the book before this revelation and didn't really feel like it succeeded at much of anything it was trying to do. oddly informal and choppy, like it was originally intended as a contemporary romance with some urban magic and changed to regency in a late draft. this is combined with some fairly weak prose: more simple sentence structure than i would expect in a book for young adults, far too many proper nouns, and a lack of interest in showing not telling.

i straight up don't understand why the leads are attracted to each other if she keeps making very public mistakes and he's a rude cunt. i have read other books (most recently the t kingfisher books) where someone grows to love a very gruff or taciturn man, but it takes time and mutual trust and an effort on both sides, none of which happen here. the core conflict is duty to family in all its various forms vs the heart wants what the heart wants. the conflict is not much of a conflict, though, because characters come to realizations within three sentences of confronting them and then vocalize them with therapyspeak. someone literally pats someone else's hand and goes, "It's hard, I know." the author mercifully did not describe the sad little pursed sympathy mouth but i'm sure it was there.

i'm also deeply annoyed with how this author chose to go about characterization. while the character concepts are people i would love to meet in a ttrpg, it feels very concerned about Good Representation and it makes everyone feel very wooden. i think when you put together characters from a list of various oppressions and disabilities it starts feeling like a grownup version of a children’s ensemble show meant to sell little blind box figurines. here is the Chronically Ill one, and her color is pink! here is the Addicted one, and his color is green! here is the Goth and Depressed one, and her color is black with some bones! here is the Gay one who was once badly hurt by the Addicted one, and we don’t care enough about him to give him a color! here is the superficially fantasy-Jewish one, and we don’t care enough about her to give her a color or an action figure either!

while normally i would love to read a book with two! TWO! canonically bisexual leads of different genders! this book is written for the "folx" spectrum of gays instead of the "fags" part of the spectrum and it strays very close to a modern morality tale for me.

this popped up on a list of books with bi leads i think, but if it was here or on libby i cannot remember.

anyway! fucking hated this one.

pleasantly surprised these came in back to back off my holds lists, bc they are about the perfumer Grace and Grace's former landlord, the spy Marguerite. my favorite of these Saint of Steel series is still the one with the werebear nun. i have nothing to complain about these books and not much to say about them either. they were such a delightful and competent change of pace after the annoyance of the previously discussed book.

oh i loved these. oh i LOOOOOOVED these. how the fuck does novik do it. she is so good at capturing the very specific feel of a grandpa military historical novel. except with dragons. i love these in the same way i know i will love the patrick o'brien books if i ever get around to reading them. i was a navy brat and unfortunately this is fucking catnip to me. truly i have inherited all my father's tastes

watching

largely fallow week. i don't have anything particularly great to say about The Bad Batch, but when have i ever. have not caught up with dunmeishi bc my siblings have once again inadvertently locked me out of the netflix account i pay for. considering a vpn for many reasons but watching netflix and watching porn (the state of texas does not want me or anyone else to watch porn within her borders) are the two big reasons for. idk. cashing out the paltry cash-back credit card rewards and coughing them up for a vpn. vpn opinions welcomed, i know most of them are straight garbage

playing

i straight up ran out of money in genshin, which is pretty hard to do since they're pretty generous with it? i have spent several million in-game currency on leveling up neuvilette (i am so so so happy to not have to collect any fucking starfish mats for him anymore [mats are different materials you have to collect or buy in-game in order to level up a character. very grindy most of the time]). anyway i am now scrabbling around for the last couple chests and puzzles i marked on my map in fontaine. i haven't bothered with grinding for his specific boosting artifacts or leveling up his talents all the way yet but this is really not shabby. i have the bad habit of completely levelling up all my 5-stars and then ignoring them until i need them for a specific fight or a specific level of the monthly..battle royale puzzle? i don't really know how to describe the abyss. anyway when i do eventually need his pretty intense water AOE attacks i will frantically grind for his talent mats. right now we're grinding for other things thanks

this latest update contains both the best and worst new areas so far. the underwater lost city of Remuria is a fuckin banger. gorgeous. incredible puzzles. very fun music-based quest line with new abilities and giant whale. however, im kind of disappointed by the new coastline area in the map: there is pretty much nothing there. almost no interactable plants to harvest, very few enemies, almost no chests. i get that they are focusing their time and attention on the new underwater area everyone will be focusing on (killer, btw, super dense and great use of vertical space). very lore-heavy expansion, sort of what if atlantis was a bit roman-inspired and also. hold on. wait a second.

sorry this has just occurred to me at 10:21 PM on Monday night as im drafting this but oh my god are the fucking fontanians the Sea Peoples of the bronze age collapse. this is hysterically funny lore if true. im going to have to go back and reread a lot of the environmental storytelling notes but oh my GOD that's extremely funny if true. genshin has some of the most batshit lore of any game ive ever played and im so sad that so few game journos are focusing on it.

where was i. leveling up characters in legally-not-france who may or may not be descendants of the sea peoples. i often find myself leveling up characters in genshin not based on how useful they are to the party but by how fun the bosses i need to fight for their mats are? for example: neuvilette is a water-based AOE character with not a lot of on-field time. however this big electric seahorse, whose antlers i need to level him up, is really fun to fight and i can knock it out in about thirty seconds.

making

my sister's birthday is tomorrow! my birthday package to her was kind of heavy on stupid little trinkets and art books and not very much like. homemade? so i cranked out a little sampler. it's framed i promise i simply forgot to take a picture of it framed. about 3"x3", slightly adapted from a piece in Julie Jackson's Subversive Cross Stitch. i do think the F and C turned out way better (or at least the backstitching stands out way more) but hey. sometimes you need to hastily stitch a gift with the limited colors you have on hand

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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rederiswrites · 8 months ago

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So ME/CFS (myalgic encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and fibromyalgia are two syndromes (collections of symptoms often found together, with unknown causative mechanisms) with largely overlapping symptoms. They're currently classified as different diagnoses, but there are plenty of people who aren't convinced that they're actually different things. The biggest diagnostic difference seems to be whether the pain or the fatigue is the biggest problem.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who, like me, couldn't possibly say which of those is ruining my life more. I, like many, fulfill all the diagnostic criteria for both. I have the specific patterns of pain and inflammation characteristic of fibro, but I also have the postural orthostatic problems (Stand Up Feel Real Bad disorder) and extreme fatigue of ME/CFS. There's no test; diagnosis is an inherently subjective thing.

This is just gonna keep being about medical problems, so have a cut.

I also have problems that may be related or may be separate or may be part of the constellation of physical issues associated with ADHD, like loose tendons that lead to terrible core strength and janky joints. So while generally the pain spots for fibromyalgia are considered to have no actual material cause, I am pretty sure that my right hip and shoulder are in fact fucked up, and fibro is just making it experientially worse. I've also got a rib that spends more than half its time in just slightly the wrong goddamn place. I have multiple friends who have hypermobility problems that make mine look like a papercut, but combining them with fibro isn't a lot of fun.

A few months back, at my bestie's prompting and with his help, I started eating keto, which is essentially just restricting carbohydrates so harshly that they represent less than 20% (or less than 10%, this seems to be bioindividual) of your diet, at which point your body begins building energy transport molecules out of fat (ketones) instead of glucose. This has a history of treating several conditions (originally, seizures, but now also diabetes and inflammatory conditions), well before it became popular for weight loss.

It was an experiment. Believe me, I have mixed feelings about the fact that it worked. At first, it worked really, really well. I went from mostly bedbound to up and working full days outside. I've started to hit diminishing returns and having to nap more often, but it's still a radical improvement. I just forget how bad it was too fast. I hate how fast we forget how far we've come.

I haven't talking about it though, because I am so conflicted about restrictive diets as a thing. This started as an experiment, and as an experiment I could sell myself on no apples no potatoes no rice no crackers no no no no etc for a few weeks. After a few weeks I could decide whether it was worth it. And now here we are and it works.

But I've gone through So Much food restriction, starting when Phantom was two and we discovered that gluten fucks us both up. Then the Boy was sensitive to so many things as a baby that I cut out the entire Top Eight allergens (let's see, can I remember? Milk, eggs, peanuts, gluten, corn, soy, uhh....others...) for a year while he was nursing. Once you've cut wheat AND eggs AND corn out there is almost no commercial product you can eat and you have to prepare everything from scratch. With a toddler and a baby. I was literally starving. I used a calorie tracker for a while and found that I was nearly a thousand calories short per day, on average. I could barely think.

It's become a huge depression trigger for me. I tell people that my last major depressive episode was triggered by not being able to eat dairy, and I'm not kidding. I'm struggling with it now, too. Most of the time I'm good, but still, despite medication, I get very low and I just want to be able to fucking eat something tasty and comforting and EASY. I just want...cheese and crackers. A whole piece of fruit. A baked potato. Rice with my stir fry. But then I eat too much fucking watermelon and I can tell the difference in my wellbeing the next day.

Food becomes a minefield. Every meal becomes a struggle. You question every bite, every symptom. At least once a day the whole thing is just too annoying and I decide to just not eat, because fuck it. I dunno if it reaches eating disorder levels, but it's certainly maladaptive. I hate that I've gotten here because what you eat actually DOES matter. it's like the question of how you talk yourself out of anxiety when the world is objectively falling apart.

But I can do the things I love. I owe all this garden progress to not having had a glass of juice or a bowl of pasta in four months. Not to mention the abrupt cessation of all my dermatitis problems, frequent "silent" heartburn, a ton of digestive problems, migraines, most headaches, and more. "Nothing is worth risking depression" but is it though?

I'm holding on to the hope that these changes will allow me to heal. That I'll be able to make long-term progress, as many people say they have, and reintroduce restricted foods gradually. That I'll be able to cement the opportunity diet gave me with regular movement and conditioning and slowly claw my way up the spiral.

But on days when I feel like shit anyway, and I can't have some fucking chips about it....yeah. It's not great.

#medical

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bildad-the-shuhite-official · 1 year ago

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Hurt/Comfort fanfic recommendations

A late night by wilywitchwahoo G, 400 words, h/c, insecure aziraphale, crying Crowley comforts his sad angel.

Your warmth is all I have by katterv T, 900 words, physical injury, mild blood, (gorgeous) fanart included Aziraphale is hurt, unconscious and so, so cold. Crowley hates it.

Morning Glory by HopeCoppice T, 1k, hurt/comfort, gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, genderfluid crowley, fem-presenting Crowley, insecurity, body image Crowley wakes early; Aziraphale watches him worry.

Your Effervescent Tears Cleanse My Core by TotallySnowy G, 1.1k, panic attacks, cuddling, aziraphale needs a hug It all started on a rather normal day in southeastern Londen, at specifically 4:05 AM in the morning, Aziraphale awoke with a start. Very, very peculiar for an angel, lest a nobel one at that. What was even more peculiar is that Aziraphale could feel his face become flushed. Quite peculiar indeed.

Evening Star by HopeCoppice T, 1.6k, insecurity, body dysmorphia, hurt/comfort, cuddling, non sexual intimacy, non sexual nudity Aziraphale seems reluctant to join Crowley in bed, and Crowley is determined to get to the bottom of it.

All Good Hearts are Heavy by Sarah_hadeschild G, 1.8k, depression, depressed crowley, fluff, hurt/comfort, protective aziraphale Crowley has always dealt with bouts of depression-- periods in which he cannot bring himself to do much more than exist. Over the centuries, he grew accustomed to enduring these episodes on his own. But now, Aziraphale is with him. And although the angel cannot miracle away his lover's distress, he can try the only remedy he knows with any certainty. He can love him.

Counting on your love by that_angels_demon T, 2.2k, insecure Aziraphale, body dysmorphia, kissing, making out, asexual relationship, non-sexual intimacy Having finally confessed their feelings for each other after the (almost) Apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale explore the physicality they've always craved. But when long-internalized insecurities come to light, Aziraphale isn't so sure his demon will want this after all…

crack me open, feel me shatter by rattatatosk T, 2.7k, nightmares, Crowley’s fall, body horror, hurt/comfort Crowley dreams of the Fall. Aziraphale is there to catch him when he wakes.

To Exist and Love by IneffableDoll T, 3.1k, hurt/comfort, acephobia, asexuality, south downs cottage, hurt crowley, ace affirming, fluff Crowley runs into someone who says some bigoted nonsense about the asexual nature of his and Aziraphale’s relationship. It leaves him fuming, so when he returns home to his angel, they talk through it and navigate the complex feelings and hurts the interaction brings up. Basically: A very ace-affirming spite fic.

Flight and Fight by Phantom531 T, 3.3k, panic attack, post season 2, hurt aziraphale, angry crowley, hurt/comfort, angst Aziraphale has a panic attack and reaches for the only person he ever needed. Unfortunately, Crowley is still REALLY angry.

Crossfire by NuriaSchnee M, 4.7k, locked, post Armageddon’t, love confessions, hurt/comfort, showering together, non-sexual intimacy, first kiss In which a shower can solve 6000 years of secrets and misunderstandings. Or: Aziraphale finally breaks down at Crowley's flat and Crowley takes care of him.

I Forgive You by Sparkling12 M, 6.3k, post season 2, hurt Aziraphale, aftermath of torture, hurt/comfort, love confessions, bathing, cuddling Crowley taking care of his traumatised angel, while plotting revenge on Metatron. Part of a series: - I Forgive You

Come as you are by fruitygoblin M, 10k, body dysmorphia, insecurity, wall sex Aziraphale visits a modern art gallery, goes on a diet, and submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known. Not necessarily in that order.

Everything I've Had by AppleSeeds M, 12k, human AU, chronic illness, chronic pain, hurt/comfort, bathing/washing, domestic fluff, childhood friends to lovers After developing a chronic illness that leaves him unable to live alone, Crowley moves back home to London where he reunites with his childhood best friend Aziraphale. Aziraphale helps to take care of Crowley and keeps him company while he's in bed, bringing them closer together and reigniting old feelings.

Touch my Tears with Your Lips by IneffableDoll T, 27k, post season 2, season 2 fix it, hurt/comfort, understimulation, making up, trauma, touch starvation, south down cottage In Heaven, there was nothing to touch. Aziraphale re-tied the knot of his bowtie again and again and again. He was alone, and nothing was real, and he was alone, and nothing was real.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens season 2 #good omens fic recs #good omens fanfiction

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covid-safer-hotties · 5 months ago

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Low cortisol may play a role in fueling long COVID, study suggests - Published Aug 19, 2024

Proteins left behind by COVID-19 long after initial infection can cause cortisol levels in the brain to plummet, inflame the nervous system and prime its immune cells to hyper-react when another stressor arises, according to new animal research by CU Boulder scientists.

The study, published in the journal Brain Behavior and Immunity, sheds new light on what might underlie the neurological symptoms of long COVID, an intractable syndrome that impacts as many as 35% of those infected with the virus.

The findings come as COVID makes a striking late summer comeback, with cases rising in 84 countries.

“Our study suggests that low cortisol could be playing a key role in driving many of these physiological changes that people are experiencing with long COVID,” said lead author Matthew Frank, a senior research associate with the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at CU Boulder.

Previous research has shown that SARS-CoV-2 antigens, immune-stimulating proteins shed by the virus that causes COVID-19, linger in the blood of long COVID patients as much as a year after infection. They’ve also been detected in the brains of COVID patients who have died.

Role of COVID spike protein subunit To explore just how such antigens impact the brain and nervous system, the research team injected an antigen called S1 (a subunit of the “spike” protein) into the spinal fluid of rats and compared them to a control group.

After seven days, levels of the cortisol-like hormone corticosterone plummeted by 31% in the hippocampus of rats exposed to S1. That is the region of the brain associated with memory, decision making and learning. After nine days, levels were down 37%.

“Nine days is a long time in the life span of a rat,” said Frank, noting that rats live on average for two to three years.

He noted that cortisol is a critical anti-inflammatory agent, helps convert fuel into energy and is important for regulating blood pressure and the sleep-wake cycle and keeping the immune response to infection in check. One recent study showed that people with long COVID tend to have low cortisol levels—as do people with chronic fatigue syndrome, research shows.

“Cortisol has so many beneficial properties that, if it is reduced, it can have a host of negative consequences,” said Frank.

In another experiment, the researchers exposed different groups of rats to an immune stressor (a weakened bacteria) and observed their heart rate, temperature and behavior as well as the activity of glial—or immune—cells in the brain.

They found that the group of rats that had previously been exposed to the COVID protein S1 responded far more strongly to the stressor, with more pronounced changes in eating, drinking, behavior, core body temperature and heart rate, more neuroinflammation and stronger activation of glial cells.

“We show for the first time that exposure to antigens left behind by this virus can actually change the immune response in the brain so that it overreacts to subsequent stressors or infection,” said Frank.

Continuing long COVID research He stressed that the study was in animals and that more research is necessary to determine whether and how low cortisol might lead to long COVID symptoms in people.

He theorizes that the process might go something like this: COVID antigens lower cortisol, which serves to keep inflammatory responses to stressors in check in the brain. Once a stressor arises—whether it be a bad day at work, a mild infection or a hard workout—the brain’s inflammatory response is unleashed without those limits and serious symptoms come screaming back.

Those might include fatigue, depression, brain fog, insomnia and memory problems.

Frank said he is doubtful that cortisol treatments alone could be an effective treatment for long COVID, as they would not get at the root cause and come with a host of side effects.

Instead, the findings suggest that identifying and minimizing different stressors might help manage symptoms.

Rooting out the source of antigens—including tissue reservoirs where bits of virus continue to hide out—might also be an approach worth exploring.

The study was funded by the nonprofit PolyBio Research Foundation.

“There are many individuals out there suffering from this debilitating syndrome. This research gets us closer to understanding what, neurobiologically, is going on and how cortisol may be playing a role,” said Frank.

The Study: www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0889159124005105 (PAYWALLED)

#long covid #mask up #covid #pandemic #covid 19 #wear a mask #sars cov 2 #still coviding #coronavirus #public health #wear a respirator

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decepti-thots · 1 year ago

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You’re so right tf fans would love juno

Grabs MTMTE fans by the shoulders. Listen to me. Please listen to Juno Steel. It's genre fiction that plays on preexisting assumptions to subvert your expectations. It looks at pulp noir and cyberpunk tropes in a way that reflexively reengages them with political ideas they originally stem from, especially as it relates to cyberpunk and disability and capitalism in series two, like that shit rules. It's funny and creative and sincere. It has heists. TRAIN HEISTS. It's unapolagetically cheesy. It's explicitly from-day-one queer and trans with a nonbinary gay lead and trans characters and actors and a slowburn, difficult queer romance at its core. It has an ACTUALLY 'guy femme fatale' love interest, like in the description that's how he's described. It has multiple morally complex women, especially in the later series where the cast expands and I love every one of them (HI BUDDY. HI VESPA.) It is the best longform exploration of chronic depression I have ever seen. It has Jet who I would die for. It has Rita who I would KILL FOR. Everyone in this podcast is a dumbass. An utter idiot. It's wonderful.

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wyrdle · 7 months ago

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Big Sho Minazuki fan here, I think it's a shame that Ikutsuki wasn't fleshed out any further. Like he's exposed as a bad guy and then immediately just... falls off.

YEAH. it's such a shame, when he's like the perfect foil character to MC lmao. One gains strength from bonds, the other has none/is incapable of it and thus sees no meaning in living. I'd have loved for his social link to be one which stays permanently at 1, regardless of what you do with him, as an illustration of this. And instead of SLs talking at you about things, he becomes your confidant and you reveal more about yourself and your friends lol. Throughout this there's the risk of revealing Pharos sealed within you, thus links to Aigis' shutdown etc, as well as an undercurrent of "This man is not normal" beyond his puns lol. I'd have loved to see the puns taken further as a masking tactic, one that whilst he personally enjoys, is still cover up lol. Maybe nearing November, as his excitement to finally die grows, you learn more about him as a person finally. idk lol I'm doing Atlus' job in making the earlier parts of the game fun and intriguing to carry you through the months.

ANYWAY. his relationship to Sho is so fascinating to me, because it's wild that Sho is even left alive tbh. For a guy who views death as deliverance/freedom from suffering+ his saviour complex with SEES, you'd think he'd pull life support off Sho and recollect the plume of dusk from his dead body. So there's plenty reason to kill Sho if he were just any experiment, and start over, even wipe a potential loose end to his research with Kirijo group. But he doesn't, and even leaves Sho with an inheritance I assume is hefty enough to last him his lifetime. So yeah, I feel like there was some twisted care and affection for Sho as a son, coming from the guy who, if set up properly next to P3 MC, whose nihlism is born from lack of bonds combined with who knows what he went through.

@ponderousorb has likened him to a real life saint called Thérèse of Lisieux, who was chronically ill and eventually developed "chosen one" or other strange beliefs as a coping mechanism whilst living. Basically whatever the pun guy went through in his life twisted him into viewing everything so bleakly and his "selfish" desire to be a Prince a coping mechanism. Dude's depressed and suicidal at his core, and of course combined with being embroiled into a death cult... well. Can't be a good parent lol.

Of course, all of the above is just my input/perspective/spin on his character. The games seem happy to leave him as a madman without elaboration about his brand of nihlism. I think if they did, Sho's story wouldn't have changed, but at the moments where Shadow Shuji popped up, stuff would've been more layered beyond whump for Sho. (Potentially flashbacks of interactions between them that leave Sho so pitifully confused and torn... ooft ouch).

It's a fun time to ponder how Shuji and Sho might've been like, if neither had been part of Kirijo Group. I like thinking Shuji might've at least tried to be there for Sho, if he wasn't off feeling like a miserable waste of space. Still not a good parent and neglectful, but I prefer thinking Shuji didn't find pleasure in causing him pain lol. Maybe it started off as clinical then eventual caring, but unfortunately he's deluded himself so hard he might've even thought he was doing Sho good by making him jacked lol. Whatever momentary guilt that'd surface, would be shrouded by his delusions. Idk, he offered SEES a "place by his side" for judgement day since they played such a large part, I can imagine he wished for Sho to reap the "benefits" too.

TLDR man's fucked in the head truly, but narrative (and most persona fans lol, not their fault tbh) never expands on it to investigate the tragedy of nihlism this way. It's such a big plunder on their end tbh, would've made him more interesting as a an antagonist, and certainly bolstered the game's core themes. Like. Why DOES this guy and old Kirijo group want death so badly lmao. The other guys are dead, Shuji is the only remaining mouthpiece for it... and we get absolutely nothing. If we knew his story, we could piece together the sort of underlying motivations of Kirijo group lol.

But anyway. Yeah. Lots of fun stuff, left unexplored! Apologies for the ramble I'm speed running my thesis on Shuji Ikutsuki 🤣

#shuji Ikutsuki #sho minazuki #persona #persona 3 #persona 4 #asks

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maxbradley · 1 year ago

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Mac n' Cheese [2013, scenes depicted take place after "Captivity" and then "Old Man"; Link to continue reading provided below]

“So, what is it?”

The 19-year-old turned his back on his elder, so Bobby couldn’t help but inquire further, “You said that I guessed wrong about you two?”

“There is nothing going on between us, just the same old rivalry as usual.”

Max had taken great care not to raise his voice with each passing syllable. When it was safe he turned his head over the shoulder, “What the hell makes you think that I’m ‘having an affair’ with that guy?”

The redhead crossed arms and swiveled his body to face the dorm’s entrance, anxiously awaiting the return of the third musketeer. A wandering hand latched onto his scalp under the mini-side mohawk and stayed there, hoping to avoid a sudden migraine. He just wasn’t used to addressing this issue. He shook his head for the fourth time as the Goof smiled, “Are you gay or something, Bobby?”

The other’s focus suddenly sharpened, “What the hell?!” Removing the eclipsed sunglasses—The black pit of his orbs threatened to sink more into the exotic shade. “Why would you think that, Max??” The boy finally turned around,

“It’s the same answer I gave you earlier, yeah? So stop asking if it’s not your business!”

Sputtering, disturbed to the core by such a misguided accusation, “I’m just looking out for you, Max! I thought we were friends! I want to help!”

Something tugged and pulled at Maximilian’s heart, still malleable even as it hardened like steel; he had a certain senior to thank for that. The face remained like stone with that strange smirk. Robert felt chills go down his spine at this lack of reaction. Since the beginning of September, he had noticed something was wrong with his once-closest friend. Back then, during the summer, the particular depression was dismissed as a phase. The sudden elation during the following months after the “jumping incident” gave rise to chronic suspicion. Those suspicions were confirmed after Halloween night; Max had deliberately harmed himself! He saw the gash on the kid’s side and the shallow cuts circling his wrists as clear as day…

But the answer to the question “why?” remained forever suspended in the air. Bobby had a gut feeling to share with a reluctant PJ that their best friend trying to strangle the Gamma jerk in a classroom was no isolated incident.

Mac n' Cheese - IZZYCHAN13 - An Extremely Goofy Movie [Archive of Our Own]

#max goof #bobby zimmeruski #bradley uppercrust #bradley uppercrust iii #an extremely goofy movie #pj #stacey #beret girl #fanfiction

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wangxianficfinder · 4 months ago

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Fic Finder

Sep 10th

~*~

1. For the next fic finder: I've been trying to find a Modern AU WangXian fic where WWX gets kicked out of the Jiang household (i think because he got pregnant? unsure about that though), he runs off with LWJ, and does not see them for several years. A majority of the fic focuses on Jiang Cheng stalking WWX after they accidentally reunite because Lan Sizhui & Jin Ling start dating? A few pivotal scenes I can remember include jc taking Jin Ling and friends to a concert (which upsets LSZ's parents because he's been stalking wwx) and JC cornering WWX in a car and trying to kiss him. For the life of me, I can't find it anywhere.

FOUND! I think this is the deleted "Meant to be (but not the way I wanted)" by sekhmetpaws. It is partially available on the wayback machine

~*~

2. Hihi! By any chance do you know of a Wangxian fic where I think its the juniors who travel through a portal to the past (I distinctly remember the portal part), and they improve and change everything except future Guanyao finds about the portal and tries to use it, eventually past guanyao finds out the future Xichen is mourning and missing him so he travels through the portal to be with him? Thank you in advance ❤️❤️❤️❤️ @memeismemeismeme

FOUND? And They Lived Happily Ever After… by Morgana_avalon (G, 51k, wangxian, JL/LSZ, Burial Mounds Settlement times, hurt/comfort, fix-it)

FOUND? Time Charm by Jenrose (E, 141k, wangxian, later queerplatonic LWJ/WWX/WQ, LXC/JGY/2nd Madam Mo, time travel fix-it, post-canon, everyone lives au, genius inventor WWX, BAMF wangxian, first time, pregnancy, childbirth, asexual character, aftermath of time travel, telepathic bond, slice of life)

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3. hi! this is for fic finder. i’m looking for 2 different fics with a similar premise. A) in one, there’s something wrong with wwx’s core and wen qing has to build a framework for a new one, and everyone (lan wangji, lan xichen, jiang fengmian, madam yu, jiang yanli, jiang cheng, etc.) take turns giving him spiritual energy for the new core while wwx lies unconscious on i think an operating room table. i think it’s a modern au.

B) in the second one i’m looking for, i think wwx has reincarnated and is reunited with lwj at the end, but there’s something wrong with his core. jiang cheng, who cultivated to immortality using wwx’s core, gives his core back to him because he was tired of being alive (or something like that, i’m not too sure). i don’t think there’s reconciliation between the two of them. thank you so much! @ieatkitcat

3A)

FOUND! please forgive my most passionate disruptions by pumpkinpaix (E, 65k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Modern: Still Have Powers, stripper!WWX, Graduate School, Internalized Homophobia)

3B)

FOUND!🔒Confusion by Vrishchika (Not rated, 4k, wangxian, time travel)

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4. Hi! I am searching for two wangxian fics if you could help me out! Thanks!

A. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji along with juniors are kind of on a road trip...I don't remember if it was a case fic or not, but I think they encounter Madam Yu's ghost and she scolds Wei Wuxian until she finds out he gave his core to Jiang Cheng and then gives Wei Wuxian a new core. Completed fic.

B. Post Sunshot Campaign Wei Wuxian is prisoned in Qinghe Nie and Nie Huisang is trying to bring Wei Wuxian back to his cheerful self by braiding his hair and bringing him books but he is being threatened by Jin Guangyao to not talk. Jin Guangyao is also intercepting all letters. Jiang Yanli is alive. Incomplete last I read it.

Thanks again!!

4B)

FOUND? Always walked a very thin line by tucuxi (T, 22k, NHS & WWX, JYL & WWX, WangXian, Depression, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives, except JZn and JGS, Self-Worth Issues, Slow Burn, Oblivious WWX, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness, Yin Iron, Baxia Saber, baxia as mental health barometer yikes, Pining, everyone is morally grey, life is not fair and that's kind of the whole point of mxtx books)

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5. hiii! help! wwx has ptsd and goes to adpot a rabbit. lwj works in the rabbit rescue and at first thinks wwx won't take care of the rabbits but changes his mind. i think he saw wwx in the cameras woth the rabbits

FOUND? 🔒 silk linked together by theLoyalRoyalGuard (G, 6k, LWJ & MXY, Wangxian, Modern, Autistic LWJ, Cellist LWJ, LWJ, Runs A Rabbit Rescue, MXY Deserves Happiness, Fluff)

FOUND? 🔒Recovery by Unforth (G, 27k, WangXian, Modern AU, Rabbit Breeder LWJ, Veteran LWJ, Veteran WWX, PTSD, therapy animals, Therapy Rabbits, LWJ is an Asshole Sometimes, Doctor WQ, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Former Prisoner of War WWX, LXC is a Good Brother, Gray Asexual LWJ, Anxiety Disorder)

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6. I read a completed Jiang Cheng time travel fix it that I think was multiple chapters. I don't remember much except at the end him and Wen Qing end up together and have a kid.

FOUND? Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It)

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7. Hi, I'm trying to find a fic where WWX and LWJ were in a relationship but then WWX had to leave after someone threatened him and killed the Wens in a fire. And then years later LWJ is on a night hunt with the juniors and encounters Mo Xuanyu who is actually WWX in disguise. LWJ recognizes WWX because he is playing Wangxian and then after they all go back to their hotel that was selected by NHS. Back at the hotel WWX and LWJ talk and then bang it out. And the next day LWJ and the juniors and WWX in a new disguise go back to Cloud Recesses.

~*~

8. Hi! I’m trying to find a fic I *thought* I had bookmarked but can’t find.

It’s a modern au where American Lan Zhan takes a holiday to someplace in Canada and meets bartender Wei Ying. There’s some reason why WY can’t/won’t return to the US, he’s illegally living in Canada.

They have a little romance, LZ goes back to the US, and later WY agrees to join him I think.

That’s pretty much all I remember. Ring any bells?? TYSM!

FOUND?🔒Stay with Me (Go Places) by LizzyPanic (T, 22k, WangXian, meet ugly, Anxious LWJ, brief discussion of panic attacks, marriage kink, Making Out, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Snowballing, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Body Worship, Coming In Pants, Mild Angst, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Vacation, somehow also a coffee shop au, wangxian go hiking, Tattooed WWX, Outdoor Sex, Phone Sex, Sexual Tension, Whirlwind Romance)

FOUND? Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Suicide of a Parent, References to Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, References to Anti-Depressant Medications, Escort Service, Loneliness, Everybody’s Abandonment Issues, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Hopeful Ending, Recovery, References to Escorting/Sex Work but No Actual Escorting/Sex Work)

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9. There is a fic , post canon wwx is mad lwj let him go. It starts with him waking up with mianmian in an inn. Well that's about it . I was so much into wangxian pairing. I dint read that fic then. Can someone find it @poongulali

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10. Hii, I was wondering if you could help me with finding an ao3 fic: I think it takes place during the siege of burial mounds and wangji takes a sword meant for wuxian and he screams and the battle stops and the ground shakes and we read everything happening from xichen’s point of view and wangxian teleport and wuxian gives wangji his heart and they get revenge on the sects during a discussion conference

~*~

11. Hello to fic finder

So I'm looking for a fic where the entirety of gusu lan sect got sent back in time and now it's really overprotective of WWX I remember a scene where wwx lwj nws nmg and lxc are at the rabbit patch and wwx is introducing every rabbit because the rabbits resemble someone they know and he's holding a giant rabbit that resembles nmg @constancebloodstone

FOUND? Cluster of Clouds by Nika_Raven_Celeste (T, 21k, WangXian, LWJ & WWX, LQR & WWX, JC & WWX, WIP, Time Travel, The Lans from Post Canon Time Traveled to Cloud Recesses Study Era, ALL The Lans from Post Canon, The Lans ADORES WWX, Confused WWX, Soft LQR, Soft LWJ , LWJ CAN communicate, Not JC Friendly , not YZY Friendly, Genius WWX, Horny LWJ, but he still has some restraints, Oblivious WWX)

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12. There was this fic where wei ying and lan zhan got pulled into a statue to a cursed room where they were forced to have sex? I think it was a pregxian fic but I can't remember for sure

I do know it was bottom wei ying though and that it's set at a museum in modern cultivation au

FOUND!🔒End Racism on the OTW - The Jade Chamber by raitala (E, 18k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, case fic, pining, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, getting together, trapped together, there’s only one bed, light bondage, masturbation, oral sex, emotional baggage, ghosts)

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13. Hello! Thank you for helping with our requests. I'm looking for an AU where the Wen Remnants survive. Lan Zhan finds a hidden village that turns out to be where his mother came from. He brings Wei Ying and the remaining Wen there to keep them safe. I think they use bracelets to get in and out. @saharrashadow

FOUND! Arbitrary by devinokaze (T, 137k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, but live somewhere else, hidden society, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, POV Multiple)

~*~

14. Hii this for a fic finder

There was a fic where wwx was imprisoned in the unclean realm, but he was isolated cause jgy threatened him so he didn't receive any letters/ information from the outside, i remember that huaisang kept visiting him tho.

~*~

15. Hi! This is for fic finder. Its modern au where wwx and lxc is a writer and they fake dating because wwx fans is too wild (stalk him, broke to his apartement, etc) and his manager told him to do that. The endgame is wangxian. I think wwx write porn? Lwj and lxc life together and wwx move in because his fans knows where he lives. Wwx and lxc kissed but no more i think. I think nmj is their publisher? Thats all i can remember. Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! Badreads by arabii (M, 37k, WangXian, 3Zun, Modern AU, Writing & Publishing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Bullying as a Flirting Technique, WWX in WWX's Body)

does lan zhan write scathing reviews of Wei yings writing and they get better as the fic goes on?

~*~

16. Hi, please could you help me

I remember I read a wangxian fic where they have sex surrounded by dead bodies they just killed. But I don't have them anymore on my bookmark.

Please help me asap 😭🙇🏻‍♀️🙏🏼thank you

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17. Yall hi I'm going insane. There's this ff where WWX attempts against his own life and JC is the one to find him locked in the bathroom. He calls 911 and tells them his brother needs help. They get him to the hospital and JYL gets there and LWJ too and they keep an eye on him after so he takes his meds and all. Please someone help!

FOUND? 总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

~*~

18. For the next FF, musical prodigy WWX! I remember a scene in particular where LWJ or LXC was playing something (clarity? Mending?) with LQR in the room who was surprised when WWX joined in halfway through. We find out that WWX has been playing by ear his whole life because YZY refused to let him learn. @mreisse

FOUND! Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious) sounds like what happens near the end of chapter 7 / I think number 18 on September 10ths fic finders sounds like the very popular Dispersing Clouds. The Lans are like "Cool trick bro" don't share the music. Wei Wuxian is like "Chill my peeps. I got you"😀

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19. Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read a while ago about jingyi and sizhui and the beginning of their friendship. It was in jingyi’s pov and he started out not liking sizhui, because jingyi struggles with following the rules and focusing and is jealous of how perfect sizhui is, before they go on a mission together and jingyi learns about sizhui’s complicated family history and the issues he has to deal with and they bond over it. I don’t remember if it was complete or not

FOUND? Why Not Me? by Eleanor_Fenyx (G, 26k, LJY & LQR, LQR & LWJ, LJY & LSZ, LJY & LWJ, good uncle LQR, LJY pov, war orphan LJY, character study, LJY has ADHD, found family, rejection sensitivity dysphoria)

~*~

20. Hii! This is for FicFinder, hope it finds you well.

I'm looking for a fic where wwx is some kind of special creature (kind of spirit, I think). I don't remember much, but I do recall lwj (I think😢) meeting a special fox spirit.

This is super unclear, but I really hope you can find something.

Anyway, if you have recommendations of fics where wwx is a creature of some kind, that'd be awesome 🤩🤩 @untamedlover

FOUND? cloudy autumn heaps the sky by anatheme (T, 23k, WangXian, Fantasy, Universe Alteration, Secret Identity, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Timeline What Timeline, wwx is a little older here, wwx piling gifts on lwj and encouraging hoarding tendencies, Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Arranged Marriage)

FOUND? A Baby Dragon’s Guide To Seducing Your Huli Jing by sweetlolixo (M, 102k, wangxian, Fantasy, But still in the Cultivation World, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Younger LWJ, Older WWX, Fluff, Humor, Eventual mpreg, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Boy A-Yuan)

FOUND? 醉 | drunk; intoxication by sweetlolixo (E, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mythical Creature WWX, everyone falls in love with weiying at first sight…, Besotted LWJ, Romance, Pregnant WWX, Fluff)

FOUND? 🔒💖 Hoards and treasures by apathyinreverie (T, 21k, WangXian, Siblings, Family, not particularly Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, slightly darker Gusu Lans, LXC being the best brother, Some manipulation, But with the best of intentions, and not between wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Smitten LWJ, Fluff, perfect happiness, adorable WWX, Romance, Some worldbuilding, courting)

FOUND? To lurk, to lie in wait by trippednfell (M, 124k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Huli Jing, strangers to co-parents to lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Dragons, Kid Fic, teenage juniors, background NieLan, Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Really Character Death, Fox Spirit WWX, Dragon LWJ, Blood and Injury, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

FOUND? 🔒 Turnabout by apathyinreverie (T, 7k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX; LSZ & LWJ, WIP, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Tiger cub A-Yuan, Mischievous WWX, Smitten LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Oblivious WWX, Domestic WangXian, LXC does his best, LQR wishes his nephews had better taste in men, Fluff, Romance, Mpreg mentioned, courting, creature shifts)

FOUND? 🔒💖 Tricks and treats by apathyinreverie (M, 12k, wangxian, dragon LWJ, phoenix LSZ, fox WWX, family, injury, fluff, romance, possessive LWJ, WIP)

FOUND? So You Accidentally Kidnapped A Qilin by Mikkeneko (T, 83k, WangXian, Juuni Kokki | Twelve Kingdoms Fusion, mdm yu’s a+ parenting, Identity Issues, Cultivator Politics, Yin Iron Poisoning, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, WWX Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Getting Together, Temporary Character Death, Happy Ending, Pacifist WWX, MXTX Big Bang 2021)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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brandileigh2003 · 1 year ago

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I love remus lupin. He never does anything wrong (false, but I love him all the more for it bc I see myself in those imperfections and mistakes)

I just want to wrap him in a blanket and keep him safe from the world.

He's my favorite, the one I relate to. Who i see myself in-- not just bc chronic illness, pain, disability but I'll admit that drew me in so much.

Love of reading esp as escapism/coping mechanism.

The anger that he tries to hide until he can't. the self doubt, low self esteem, don't feel good enough, trust issues, can be self destructive, wanting academic or job validation. (When I did those things). Over thing. Fear of being alone. Not good at asking for or accepting help.

Needing alone time, other times craving company of specific people, pushing people away, sometimes when I need them most. Wanting to be alone when upset but also secretly want someone to follow me and sit with me. Likes physical touch but awkward about it and not good at asking for it. So awkward sometimes. Grumpy but tries so hard to be kind. Not great at expressing feelings, but feels things deeply.

Feeling like outsider, that not accepted by world bc who I am. (Only sometimes, I have my core, but even then doubt. But also reassured)

the mental health struggles. Anxiety, depression, self hate, spirals. Insomnia or sleeping too much

being a good listener but not sure how to comfort them, sarcasm, try to accept them as they are, try to take care of others, and adores Sirius Black.

#remus lupin #like remus i adore him #this is not at all anything against Sirius #so the people who think i hate Sirius please go away #favorite marauder #marauders #wolfstar #fanfic #headcanons #remus kin #disability #disabled remus #chronic illness #chronic pain #sirius black #i just needed to say it

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bestocship · 2 years ago

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Eva and River (@mothpile)

Hoo boy. river (she/her, 33) and eva (she/he bigender, 30) bonded over being haters at their workplace 10 years ago and have been inseparable cunts in crime since. they call themselves just friends despite both knowing that they feel something for the other that's far mushier and genuine than the light-hearted insults they'll use in the place of giving these thoughts any acknowledgement. Pretending like they're not each other's most important person in the world, given they both aren't quite popular with others, it's easier to just be keep things as they are now and not risk being (gags) awkward. Emotions, right? Loser behaviour.

Of course nothing ever challenges this nope there is no workplace (different than the one they met at) event that causes everything to go to shit and now a bunch of different horror genres are happening at once and nearly everyone is dead or turned into some freaky monster, this life threatening circumstances certainly does not make them have to confront on a deeper level how they feel about one another. River's busy calling Eva "a fucking stupid idiot" for venturing out of the safe zone and into danger "for no fucking good reason, we're all doomed to die here anyways, why the fuck are you trying to speed things up". Because it's easier to say this instead of admitting she doesn't want to lose him, much less have him die somewhere where she'll have no way of knowing he's dead. Eva is equally blunt in terms of rudeness back to her about this. Fail situation. Probably important to mention somewhere that River does get death powers and (accidentally) rots her brain and other core functions so Eva has to deal with that (getting blood to River in a way that does not involve Eva dying in the process, as river is akin to a large frog when it comes to getting blood out of people in this state of being.)

tl;dr fail bisexuals who jackasses to everyone including each other who """care deeply""" (100% not in love guys we swear) about one another.

their relationship is already bad enough, let them have some kind of win for this suffering.

Edwin Montrose and Giovanni Pantucci (@twinkrundgren @greengartside)

Rivals from childhood, after a long time of being cross continent penpals, the two starcrossed "rivals" reunite after Edwin, an esteemed poet from England, is forced to move to sunny California. Immediately they fall into a routine of annoying and pissed off each other, heightened by the burgeoning sexual tension when a fight ensues. Both repressed bisexuals, neither wanted to admit that these feelings were love until fighting turned into undressing.

Now, after turbulent fights, almost murder, and skin tingling sexual encounters, the two realized that their continued trysts would only lead to mutual self destruction. It was either they burn each other out, or try to make it last, a challenge for the morbid sadomasochistic Edwin and the depressed chronically self-sabotaging Pantucci. Despite both of them trying to make each other worse, their love for one another is the one thing that keeps them afloat.

The hedonist and the ascetic, constantly at odds with each other, yet they are the only two who truly understand one another. Whatever is going on between them would kill the average person, but it's only these two awful people who's flaws seem to complement each other perfectly who can create a relationship so toxic that it wraps back around into being true love.

your problematic fave ship.

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saiwriting · 2 months ago

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On Identity...Again

Okay, cool. I get it now. I am not supposed to ascribe any meaning of myself specifically to a thing or a concept like astrology or personality tests. Cool. I am the cosmos experiencing itself. Cool. My higher self is my true authentic self and my true authentic self is my higher self. Also sooo cool.

What the fuck does it mean to be myself?

I have only known a self that is subscribed to the value attributed to me by the plethora of other people helicoptering over my potential. What does it mean to be me?

My boyfriend and I were having an interesting conversation about the concepts of repression and suppression, where I then discovered that I felt as though there was a part of me that was always 'suppressed' (first, I had identified it as repression, but he made a good point that repression is different in that it's extrinsically based) and that I can't even really identify what that means for me because I had been so used to suppressing for so long. After that thought, I came to another conclusion that was maybe closer and yet still not close enough.

Maybe, just maybe, I was so used to scoping out how others would react or feel before I expressed myself (people pleasing?) that I couldn't turn it off. I couldn't be spontaneous and the "me" that I have always seen myself to be on the inside but having perpetual disconnect expressing on the outside. Cool. All my problems were solved. That was, until I started to ask why I wasn't "me" in the first place.

Why was the me that I am now not see as the ideal me and therefore what does an ideal me even entail? And, I've actually thought about this a lot. Of course, over the years it has developed as trends change in clothing and beauty and societal expectations, but what has stayed there at the core foundation of these different versions of me that I want to make sure I show authentically in my day to day life? What's worse, to me, is that I don't even know why I am so afraid to show the world a more authentic me. Why? Why am i so afraid of just being me? Is it because I don't think that the world deserves it? Is it because I don't think that I deserve it? Why wouldn't I deserve it? And is the version of me that I think that I do not deserve...even the me that I want to be in the first place?

I think one thing that makes this so difficult for me, especially lately is that I know that I am everything. Even in the spiritual sense as I still am walking on my spiritual path has led me to know that I am one with everything. But that notion has always been hard for me, so it was a little disheartening to know that the answer to this all just so happened to be the thing that paralyzes me the most in life.

I am a chronic planner, but for the first time today I actually contemplated giving up on planning. I have hungered for spontaneity for years now, but to no real avail since the mental ability to conjure up coping and preparation is almost instantaneous at this point. Shit sucks, like, real bad. But I also can't help but really want to know what my "thing" is, and have wanted to for practically my entire existence. Here's where our little problem arises...I want to be and do and experience everything. I am literally everything. I look at my Pinterest boards in muddled confusion because they're just huge databases of all of the iterations of myself that I envision. Yet, I have ceased to accomplish a single one, or at least in my eyes I haven't. What if I just abandoned the idea of a planned "me" in general?

Planning is both my greatest strength and my most dubious curse. I am an excellent planner and an even more tremendous bullshitter of said plans! For the first time today, I am thinking of abandoning it. What would happen if I went through life driven off of impulse? Being someone who has depression and who was not medicated or diagnosed until I was 22, it was rough to think that I had to trust my impulsion in order to even follow it and thus be spontaneous and to get myself into situations that are necessarily uncomfortable. It's hard as hell to get me into an uncomfortable situation or anything because I am so good at planning and bracing and preparing for outcomes. Never in my life have I had a moment where I said ahhh fuck it! Not one that I can remember.

This discovery finally made its way to me while thinking about the list of books that I said that I wanted to read this week. The list is not long or extensive and not even to the fullest extent I've gone to plan myself to do things like plan which days I'm going to read which pages at which times...which I have definitely done multiple times before. No, this was just a list of 4 books on a sticky note stuck to my bathroom door. All I did was number them 1 through 4 to what order I should read them in. I brought all of the materials needed for some writing and to finish book 1 on my Kindle to the living room and...then I cracked open the pages to book 4. Looking back on it, book 4 was the book I was most excited to read this week and yet I saved it for last. I delayed my gratification. Sometimes it seems as though I enjoy punishing myself for the sake of endurance. It's weird. Why am I not able to follow through on my plans even to a minuscule degree?

I think one of the hardest aspects of astrology to me is the concept of the MC. Mine is in Gemini and as someone who has a Virgo rising and is familiar with Mercurial energy, telling me I need to embody Gemini energy does nothing but stress me out. How do I embody something that I am only familiar with in the presence of friends and wouldn't that be like acting? Then I thought well maybe that's just how my authentic self shows, but that's not necessarily true either. The deeper I dug into astrology, the more I see the MC as something that I simply have to be. My North Node is also in Gemini, and that is symbolic of energy that you may not even reach in this life time. I have felt nothing but stifled my entire life. Never, ever fully able to express myself fully.

I never think I am doing enough. I never think I have enough. I never think I am enough. But that is okay. This, honestly, is just proof I am everything.

I do not desire to be chained to the idea that my identity matters. I am so tired of thinking my identity matters. It doesn't. At least, not in the grand scheme of things. I have never been my authentic self, ever, as long as I have been raised in the church and having to hide parts of myself simply because I was a woman. It'd be nice to have a platform, a stage, a name recognized by millions, but it is not necessary. I could just as easily be lost in time. Sometimes I think I am preparing for that possibility every morning that I wake up. I prepare to be a nobody, a nothing, a who? I am constantly planning on how to face myself if what I see in the mirror is something and someone that I hate. I am always recovering and never growing.

I am suppressed. I am suppressed when the people in my life that helped me grow said I should be free. So, what does freedom mean to me? Only I will know, and yet I still worry that I will know-only when it is too late.

#spilled ink #writers on tumblr #black woman writer #black writers #art #black poetry #black poets on tumblr #language #poem #poets on tumblr

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