#He wanted to die and he could've and he would've been pure but it was taken from him

[wonwoosthetic]

Saw you're taking request for thunderbolts bucky and I don't even know what I want to read, I just know I NEED to read something from itttt. Was thinking that gala scene (it's in the trailers so I guess it's not spoilers right), maybe reader is part of his campaign too or whatever and they're just there together? (Maybe already a couple, maybe not)

Idontknow sorry I just wanted to sent you something you maybe could use as an "idea" so sorry to bother you

Hiii!! Please, never ever be sorry for sending something into my inbox!! I get so happy about each message I receive, ESPECIALLY NOW IF IT’S ABOUT BUCKY👏🏼🥰

I let myself get inspired by your prompt, but I hope you like it where I took it :) I wanted to include the “flirting” of a couple but I wanted a bit more tension, hope everyone enjoys it!😊

This. Movie. Is. Incredible. That’s all I want to say. I’ve always loved Bucky, I will always love Bucky, but I need some tension and some badass characters, so here you go!🫶🏼

Old Habits Die Young, Or Whatever

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

word count: 3.4k

warnings: mentions of dead characters, cursing, tension, implied past relationships

masterlists

You could've looked up at the balcony. Just one glance up and you know your gazes would've met. You've been feeling his eyes on you ever since you stepped into the mansion. Knowing you've reached your goal made you grin to yourself. What you had come for had found you, and you didn't even have to do anything. Just look good and play along.

And boy, did you look good. A long black dress might still be simple, but the slit up your leg most definitely wasn't. Smiling at the people passing by, some greeted you as they recognised you, some you knew as well, but most of them, you didn't.

Galas hadn’t always been your thing. Although you enjoyed the idea of getting dressed up and doing something good, then you were all there for it. Just not this time. Glancing around, seeing weapons and valuables that you had fought for, now behind glass and just being presented to the public, did not feel right. And it shouldn't. Especially not if they were put on display in the name of none other than Valentina Allegra de Fontaine.

It was easy to get on your nerves, yes. But that woman had a special super power in just her being feeling like nails on a chalkboard in your head. You had avoided her all evening, and so far, you had been doing well.

The Avengers were gone. You understood that. As hard as it was to come to terms with it, you were there first hand. But now, to have some politician woman step out and put out everything you had worked for, only to make herself look good... that's where you drew the line at being a good person. Because two people could play that game. And you were never made to be good in the first place-

"Miss Thompson." A deep voice made you turn around. Thank God you had already downed your glass of champagne the minute you stepped foot through the door.

"Miss Thompson?" You wondered with a grin, looking at the older man in front of you. Gary and you were on a first-name basis, so the sudden politeness in his voice surprised you. "Well then, Congressman-"

"Alright, cut the act," he stopped you with a smile.

You laughed. "You started it."

A moment of silence filled the space between the two of you before Gary's soft voice spoke up again. "Didn’t expect to see you here, Y/N." It was so unlike the tone he used with Valentina.

You shrugged with a sigh, "Just trying to help my conscience, I guess?" Maybe only a part of it was a lie. But some of it definitely held truth. There was one reason you were sure of as to why you were here. But would you still had come if HE hadn't been here?

"Your conscience?" The politician looked at you in pure confusion. "You already helped us enough with de Fontaine. I hope you know that. You can sleep tight, knowing you brought us everything you could. You worked hard. You deserve some time off."

'Some time off.' You could only scoff. You had heard that sentence one too many times. Your type of people don't just get 'some time off'. If you do, you're missing something. You'd be failing at the one job you were confident in.

"I don't think so." Trying to avoid his gaze, your eyes darted upwards, finding a woman now next to Bucky. You scrunched your eyebrows.

"You helped enough," he tried to assure you some more.

Softly, you shook your head. "Is there ever enough help?"

Gary let a sigh fall from his lips. He wasn't annoyed. He couldn't be after all you had done for him and the right side of the impeachment. But he knew how hard you had been on yourself for the past few months, and he couldn't understand why.

"Self-employment really isn't doing you any good."

You switched back to look at him, your mind now elsewhere and suddenly in a rush. "Yeah, well... maybe that's also why I'm here."

"You know, I'll always be able to find you a seat right next to me." It wasn't the first time he had offered to help you take your first step into the Capitol. And it wasn't the first time you had turned it down.

"I know," you smiled at him before your eyes went back to the now laughing couple on the balcony. "But politics isn't really my thing."

-

“You can’t sneak up on me. I thought you knew that.”

You had excused yourself from the crowd on the ground floor, passing even more people who seemed like they wanted to speak to you, starting their approach with 'Thank you for-' before you politely brushed them off to continue your way upstairs. There wasn't much time you had spent behind the stone pillar before he had found you. Even with his back still turned to you.

With a sigh, you gave in. “A girl can try.” Turning around, you made your way to the suited-up former Winter Soldier, who was still looking straight ahead, the big A shining directly towards the two of you.

Glancing down at your feet with a smile before he shook his head. "Not in those heels," Bucky commented.

"Jeez," you joked, "can't even dress to impress anymore."

You got a chuckle out of him, making you grin, yet you hid it behind the rim of another glass of champagne you had snatched from a waiter's tray.

The former soldier bit down on his lip, thinking twice before letting a compliment tumble from his lips. "You look beautiful." Sounding as easy and light as it did every time before.

You couldn't help but smile. "Thank you." Turning your head towards him, you were immediately locked in his gaze. You had almost forgotten how piercing his steel blue eyes were.

His hair had gotten longer. Much longer ever since you had last seen him. Sam had told you about his changed looks in your last phone call, which was... also quite a while ago. Shit, close to a year. He had told you about the suit and tie Bucky showed up with and with 'the old long mane, but not that shit he had back in Wakanda'. You never realised how much you had missed his long hair since he had decided to keep it short for some time, but now that you saw him again with this, it brought you back. Back to when you had met him, which, sure, wasn't the perfect first meet, but he still looked as good as ever.

And you looked even more stunning than ever before, he thought to himself. Also, he hadn't seen you in a good two years, and he had to hold onto the memory of your beauty for that time.

"What are you doing here, Y/N?" His voice was close to a whisper, with the non-existent crowd on the upper floor, he didn't need to speak much louder, yet it felt all that much more intimate.

You could lie again. Tell him the same thing you had told Gary merely minutes ago. But Bucky knew you. Too well. You knew he would see right through you. So you decided to keep quiet for just a second too long, which made him continue.

"I thought you were still in Louisiana."

Louisiana... where you were promised a somewhat normal life. A new beginning. A fresh start. Clean air. A clear past. Turns out that just wasn't for you. After all, he had also decided it wasn't right for him, so who was he to suddenly throw that at you? Almost two years after he was last there.

"I was," you answered him, going back to avoiding his gaze, rather looking straight ahead at the big warm light right in front of you. "For a bit. Then D.C., Brooklyn, Wakanda-"

"You went back?"

"Had to," you simply told him. "Shuri..." God... there was so much you wanted to tell him. So, so much. But you decided otherwise. "Just a few things I had to finish there."

Bucky must've noticed your drift away, but he didn't nag on it, but played along. "How's everyone?"

"Good. They asked about you." Maybe there was still some part of you that wanted him to feel remorse. To feel hurt. To feel bad.

He took a deep breath, fixing the hem of his pants around his waist. They sat perfectly, you had to admit.

"What did you tell 'em?"

"That I was worried."

"Worried?" He wondered in confusion, his eyes still trained on your side profile. "Why worried?"

"Well," you started. You had prepared the following course of conversation in your head. You weren't about to spill the content of the past few months of your life apart from him when you had just seen him again. You didn't come to catch up with him. You just wanted him to know that you were still there. And that you were being and looking good as ever. Even if it was just an act.

"It is quite... worrying. You know... You... in politics. Alone. Worrying about this... very worrying issue." You teased him, slowly turning your head towards him at the sound of his chuckle.

“So I guess you watched the news.”

You raised your eyebrows, taking another sip from the champagne. “Oh, did I.”

While he may have been an okay politician during his term, he, by no means, was a natural when it came to speaking in front of the camera.

“And? What do you say?” Bucky continued to conversation almost too easily. Either he truly didn't care about the past, or he had become a phenomenal actor in the time you had spent apart.

His eyes made it hard to look away once again. You remembered why you always loved looking at them. While everyone would falter under his stare, give in and confess, you were intoxicated by them, lured in, and brought to your knees.

With a grin, you took a step closer, noticing, there wasn't much space left between you. “I think you might need a new speech writer. Or just somebody that helps you with speaking in public, really.”

“Really?” He taunted you, raising only one eyebrow.

“Yeah," you had joined him in the hushed whispers you were now sharing.

“You might know someone like that?”

You could only grin. “I might.”

“You think they’d wanna help out an old man?” There he was. The flirt from the 40s you had managed to melt back in the day. You knew he wasn't all that strict and stoic. Not how the outside world saw him. No one really knew just how much of a real playboy bachelor flirt he could be. No one but you.

“Caring for the elderly has always been really high up on my list, you know?”

“You don’t say," he smirked, knowing you could feel his warm breath on your lips.

“Mh." You copied his facial expression. "You don't remember?”

“Guess I’m quite lucky then, huh?” In the close distance you had created, Bucky easily lifted his metal hand to take the almost empty glass from your grip, downing the rest in one gulp before setting it down on a plateau next to you.

“You are.”

You both smiled at each other. Possibly for a few seconds too long. Longer than people who haven't seen each other in months probably should. Even if you hadn't ended on bad terms, you still shouldn't be all that close to him right now. Well... technically you didn't even end on... any terms...

You caught Bucky's eyes going down to your lips for just a split moment before coming back up again. You know he hoped you hadn't caught it. “It’s good to see you, Y/N.”

You grinned. Got him. "Mh," you nodded, tilting your head in the way you remembered him always liking. The way little animals would as they tried to read you.

Once you realised you still had just as much power over him, you chuckled to yourself, straightening your back and fiercely locking gazes with him again.

“So, Mister Congressman-”

“Oh, please.” He quickly broke the ban, rolling his eyes and taking a step back.

“What?" You mocked him. "You fought for that position, you think I won’t play into it?”

The former soldier shook his head, “You’re still quite the smartass, you know?”

But you just shrugged, choosing to lean your backside against the stone railing and crossing your arms in front of your chest. “Old habits die young, or whatever they say.”

“Die hard," he chuckled, shaking his head.

“That makes more sense.”

You were never good at remembering expressions, but oh well, that's what he had always been there for. Bucky was one of the few people who didn't tease you because of it; he'd just chuckle, correct you, and move on. Sure, he'd remember it secretly forever, but he would never mention it again. Unlike some others back in the Tower all those years ago.

"How are Sam and Rhodey?"

You noticed how he didn't ask about Jaoquin - he never really liked how much of a fan the soldier was of you. He must've thought you were in closer contact with the two men than he was. After all, he was the one to leave first.

"Good," you took a deep breath, glancing down at your hands in shame at your next confession. "I think..."

Bucky's scrunched eyebrows snapped towards you. "You think?"

You brushed some of your hair out of your face before answering with a nod. "Haven't talked to them in a while." It must've been like... a good few months.

"What? Why?"

All you could do was shrug. There was a reason. Of course, there was always a reason. But you were still allowed to keep some things to yourself.

The congressman's entire body was now turned towards you. Pure fury and the beginning of a fire filled his eyes. "Do they know you're here?"

Sam and especially Rhodey had been adamant about your 'retirement'. Or 'break' as they had called it after you had repeatedly told them you weren't even close to thinking about putting your suit into a museum. Even though you knew it's what Tony would've wanted. What Pepper still begs you for. But after... everything, you had thrown yourself deep into work, harder than ever before. The Flag Smashers should've been your last mission. You had gotten hurt pretty badly and had almost been injected with the new Super Soldier serum, making all the alarm bells ring. But then you remembered Peter in Brooklyn, then Shuri called, and then came the impeachment, and suddenly there was no way out. There never was.

"What do you think?" You snapped back at him, suddenly triggered by the tone in his voice. "You think they'd let me be here? You think they'd be happy about this?"

"No." Bucky hissed at you, making you almost take a step back, but his hand had found your arm, tightly holding onto it. "That's exactly why I asked you what you're doing here."

"I was helping," you snarled through your teeth, snatching your arm out of his grip, knowing he'd never hold you too tight to leave a mark or trap you.

Your comment sparked Bucky's interest. "With what?"

There goes your wannabe mystery appearance. "With the impeachment." Well, at least he now thought that that had truly been the only reason.

The former soldier looked around in confusion. His eyebrows scrunched, leaving creases in his forehead that you used to straighten out in the past, telling him he'd grow older fast even with the serum rushing through his blood.

"You're here because of Valentina?"

You sighed in slight annoyance. "Not because of her. I helped Gary," you explained, making him shut his mouth and listen carefully to you. "I haven't heard from him in like a week. I thought the impeachment had gone through, and it was done. So you can guess how fucking happy I was, seeing she was throwing a first responder gala to 'honour all the heroes of this country'." You changed your voice to mock her. Turning around to glance back down at the crowd of people, you couldn't help but get sad. Everything you had ever owned or earned, now behind glass and put on show for everyone to see.

"This was ours. And she just... took it. Tony wasn't-" You forced yourself to hold back the tears forming in your eyes. "He didn't think about what he was doing, okay? He was... frustrated and... angry." Yes, it's been a while since everything happened, but the wound was still very much open for you. Especially since you hadn't allowed yourself to fully think about it until you were confronted with it.

Tony had sold the Tower, and Valentina was the first to accept the offer. Everything inside went to SHIELD. You never truly forgave him for that. Bucky held you throughout every night you confronted yourself with the past. While he was trying to get better in therapy, you chose to suffer, hoping it would be in silence, but living together gave you close to no privacy at all.

You could feel Bucky shift closer next to you. His hand was a shadow on your lower back before he decided against it and lowered it again, choosing to try to comfort you with words rather than a touch.

"They asked Pepper-"

"I know they asked her," you spat back at him. "I know they did. We've talked about this... they didn't ask us. They didn't ask me." Your voice got quieter with each syllable falling from your lips.

He repeated the words he had said to you oh so long ago. Sitting on the fire escape of your shared Brooklyn apartment, with Bucky waking up as soon as you had gotten up to get some fresh air, another nightmare haunting you and making you go back in time to remember all the things you didn't do and didn't say.

"You couldn't have done anything to stop this, Y/N."

You shook your head. "I could've and I should've. But-" you took a deep breath in, turning your body slightly to find Bucky a bit closer than before again. "It seems like getting Valentina out of the way is the best thing I can do for now."

"You've done enough," his whisper of a voice made you shiver as he lifted his hand, finding the courage to touch you again. Bucky placed his warm palm on your naked arm, his thumb caressing the softness of his skin he had missed.

Ignoring the rush going through your body, yet you didn't jump away from his gentle touch, but instead tried to swerve the conversation.

"You sound like Gary."

The super soldier smiled at you. "I'm sure some of him has been rubbing off on me." A few years ago, you would've joked about the double meaning behind his words, but now you stayed quiet.

Speaking of the devil.

"Buck- oh, sorry-" the Congressman jumped back as soon as he saw the missing distance between you two, making Bucky and you separate immediately. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

The faint feeling of his touch still lingered on you. You tried to brush it off, physically rubbing your hand up and down your arm.

"It's okay," you assured him, a fake smile appearing on your lips.

"No, no, I'll just stop by later," Gary tried to get away, but you stopped him.

"It's fine, don't worry. I'll leave you to it." Giving one last glance at Bucky. "Like I said, politicians aren't really my thing."

But before you could go, another grab by your wrist halted you and made you turn around. Again, those blue eyes that once felt like home.

“I missed you, doll," he breathed out.

You let a beat pass.

“I missed you too, James.”

It was the first time Bucky couldn't tell if you had truly meant it or not.

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it! My requests for Bucky are still open :)

[sastielsfandom]

But imagine Sam drinking demon blood and Castiel offering their blood but while they're in the bunker. Sam's preparing to be locked in the dungeon and Castiel will not let that happen.

Like you can have Sam who is falling apart at relapsing after being clean for so long. And Castiel who isn't as they were once before, depending on when this takes place, their grace is limited.

[cherie-doll]

i hope the day is good for you 🫶🏻 (english is not my first language) can you please write a story with cod men, about what would they do when the reader doesnt make it home from the mission - like they are waiting at home for her but she's dead.

thx for submitting love <33

𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: They Waited For You

౨ৎ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

Price

He didn't believe it at first, there was just no way... he immediately got to verifying all his sources, even went down to talk to the other soldiers who had been a part of your team

You were supposed to come home, he expected you to come back to him, safe and sound like always but instead of falling asleep and exhausted in his arms like you should've been by tonight, your corpse was out there somewhere missing his embrace

He thought of how he could've prevented this from happening, yes he still blamed himself for anything bad that happened to you despite it not being in his hands, maybe if he could've kept you from going, why did you even feel the need to continue doing this?

There was no one else he cared for as much as he did for you, which truly said a lot of your relationship, but since he met you he felt an overwhelming urge to show love like he'd never done before, nothing else on earth deserved this dedication like you did

He deteriorated rather quickly, the mornings became grim and he couldn't bear to see the sun setting without thinking of how much you loved letting the rays caress your arms and let your eyes take in that golden light, you looked so beautiful in those moments

Ghost

Since he met you, there was finally a stage in his life he could think of purely, sure the relationship wasn't perfect, but this was something he could be reminded of and he didn't have to fight to keep it hidden in the back of his mind, he let the memories emerge to the surface and ponder about them

It had been something pleasant but it had been ripped out of his hands far sooner than he would've wanted, his fantasy that had become a corrupted reality, it makes him want to die, badly, but he always found a way to survive the deadliest situations, somehow he always did; as if he was cursed with immortality

But this? He felt no desperation urging him to dig out of the hole he was sinking into, the walls closing in on him from all sides and he made no effort to push it away, it felt sort of relieving being cramped and paralyzed since he couldn't see the path ahead of him, with you it had become so obvious and clear what he wanted but now there was nothing worth moving towards

Did life always want something from him? Just when he thought he lost everything he could lose, there was always something else being pried out of him, it was painful because it was forcefully taken away just when he was getting attached, when there was no foreseeable evil trying to destroy him there was some good, and you had been the best unexpected thing in his life

Soap

You were like an illusion he had always dreamed of and finally were achieved, a life so dreamy and ideal he thought would never be in his reach, but he had been permitted to have it for a short while with you

Within your time together a love so beautiful had bloomed, it was sweet how sublime it had felt, you had been youthful, still beaming with so much life within you but tragically cut short, those years had gone and went unused

He couldn't find the sense within him to comprehend why it had to be you, your death had been like a cold slap to the face, he had once again become aware of the disheartening reality he lived in, that nothing was secure nor did everything stay the same forever

Well, he knew about the forever part, but did it have to come so soon? He had to gather the strength within him to continue forward and he wasn't even sure of that, there was still so much left unsaid, so much still to be done, and how frustrated he was that it would all be forgotten and left unfulfilled

A sadness like no other would coat his existence, swallow him up and change him beyond recognition, his mind would be invaded by memories of you that will replay until they burned and ceased to exist... the day he ceased to exist

Gaz

All those days that he had spent with you had been the most fulfilling days he had ever experienced, he could remember the warmth of your hand, the weight of your body asleep next to him on the mattress, the security knowing you valued his affection and returned it

He truly felt the happiest with you and he wished to be encased in that happiness forever, but how naive it was of him to think it was possible for even a second, life was always moving and throwing hurdles at us that seem impossible to avoid, it's only a matter of time misfortunes come to us all

By simply contemplating and reminiscing, he felt grief beyond help and any consolation couldn't do much for him, wistful memories came to him and he could not sleep at night, all they did was leave a dark imprint on his mind

His caring nature did not change, he thought with time he could heal and learn to move on, but some things never change, and a sore spot still brings pain when pressed too hard, he would mull over this no matter how painful it was to do so

How he misses to hold you in this moment and kiss you

Roach

The news of your death came like a hard blow to his face, and he was left clutching his chest, eyes watering with tears as he desperately tried to cling onto some comforting memory in his mind

Restlessness follows immediately, even at night sleep does not come to him no matter what he does, the memories you shared seemed to tear him apart rather than anything help him, but he didn't want to forget you either

He knew he couldn't get you back and he had lost you forever in this life, panting and gasping he would awaken from his nightmares, the little sleep he got would do nothing to comfort him, and you weren't there to comfort him, to silently hold nor ease with your voice in his ear

His mind wanted to deceive his heart, make him believe you were somewhere far away but still thinking of him, that he could close his eyes and imaging resting his head on your shoulders, basking in serenity as he lost himself in the waves that lulled him

Alejandro

He was overtaken by bitterness and anger, his better judgement was clouded far beyond reason at the most valuable treasure in his life forever gone, the feeling of longing would become a hole he'd spend his days trying to fill with wrongful acts

All he wanted and needed was your touch to remind him reality was there and not as cruel as he thought, you had still met and loved in your time and nothing could take away what had already been done, he could live blissfully in life knowing you had known each other

But could he be satisfied with that? He could strongly feel the ties that bound you together still tug at his heart, and every year he remembered you, would set an altar for you and fill it with what were your favorite foods and things

He would stare at your imagine, remembering how he once had kissed those lips, stared into your sparkling eyes that watched him endearingly, your face he had held within his hands...

He could never have that back

Rudy

He missed delicately tracing your face, his fingertip raising softly over every curve and line, your silhouette against the wall when you rose that morning, early so you could still say your goodbyes to him and tell him to expect you back very soon, this one wouldn't be too long you said

You had left him a content man, he'd sit around the house and wait, he would take it easy these days because you'd be back soon, but he wasn't ready to withstand the tumult he'd find himself in

His heart had become haggard in the days following your death, he had absorbed every bit of warmth and clung to the last signs that you had left behind, he wished he had been there, to ease your last painful moments before death, how much did that train of thought torment him, day and night it ran through his mind

In sleep, he dreamt of terrible ways you had encountered death, surely, you didn't have a peaceful one, you were healthy and fit to make it, something terrible must have happened but no matter how much he wished to know the cause of your death it wasn't given, most likely for the best to remain unknown

Phillip Graves

He often boasted of having you in his life, it was such a fortunate occurrence when you met that he didn't think it was entirely a coincidence, he loved doting on you and hold you in his arms knowing you were there for him

You had already confirmed the date of your return, but that day came and passed and there was no sign of you, worse yet no message or word had been heard on your part, it was he who had to dig and find out that you had been KIA

It felt like a strong blow to his chest to have you ripped away from him, he knew the harsh reality and danger he was constantly under, he just never imagined it would get to you one day

You shouldn't have paid for his sins or errors, he wished you had stayed out of the battle, but you had your own life to carve out and ultimately it had been your decision

Much time would have to pass before he'd be able to say your name, for the longest time he'd whisper it, as if afraid it'd shatter his reality even more, staying in the air reminding him of what he lost

Makarov

You were forever gone from his grasp, how was he to cope with that? The fire that had warmed his insides, making every act of his be out of love for you suddenly halted, reduced to nothing but ashes and now he was left to sweep the heaps of it

The emptiness growing and knowing there wasn't a piece to fit or make him whole again like you, you were a unique piece, the edges weren't cut with delicacy that an experienced hand could replicate, there wasn't a mold to follow to shape something else into you

You sprung out of chaos and spontaneity with ease, there was a lightheartedness you brought out in him that brought out the best in him, all of it offered to you who didn't greedily take but lovingly returned

He didn't want to believe someone like you could just be taken away from him and have nothing done about it, just when he thought he could be tender he'd return to his old ways, the resentment stronger than ever and tied to his heart, obscuring and consuming him

Keegan

How despairing did this turn out for him, never had he imagined he'd lose you, all that time he had spent training with you, preparing for when the worst could happen and each time you had managed to slip away, always

Except this time you weren't fast enough, he knew those shoulders held up a levelheaded person, who confidently calculated their every move, it was unfair you had been taken

His brows are now furrowed, thinking this just has to be some sort of protocol you're following, faking a death isn't all that uncommon, maybe you were still alive out there, hiding away somewhere for your safety, each day he held the pitiful hope that you'd come back to him, then he'd nurse your injuries and help you stand back up

But moons waxed and waned and you didn't appear, and he couldn't hold the fragments of you close to his heart if you wouldn't be around to reignite them and make them come true again

His palm that had curled, clutching the remnants loosed and he had to give up that foolish dream and accept reality as it was being presented

König

Was it cruel if he wished it was you who had received the news instead of him? He thought it would have been that way, he often joked about the benefits you'd get when he passed, it wasn't supposed to be you to leave earlier than him

Relaxed he was sitting in the armchair until he received the terrible news, his breaths became desperate as he tried to get air into his lungs, he wanted to march down there to the field himself to collect you, to not believe it just yet

Maybe you'd be down there, hiding away in some corner like the sly fox you were and say you had managed to dodge the bullet this time

But he was disappointed with the outcome of things, he hated it when things didn't follow the path he set for them but no one could have controlled the outcome of this course, it had left a profound wound in his heart he wasn't sure he'd be able to heal from

You had parted without saying your goodbyes and now he wouldn't be able to live with that, to live longer still with you in the back of his mind

Horangi

He hated anything that brought the slightest trace of despair, and he dealt horribly with it, he ran on pure serendipity but now he couldn't count on that, was it by being at the wrong place and time you had been one of the lives lost, the most important one to him

He felt the urge to go back to his old ways of numbing out the pain, but he pushed that temptation away, it would only drain his money and everything he had worked for go to waste, he knew you wouldn't have wanted that for him and right now he just wished to keep the traces of you very much alive and present

He wanted to go about his days as if you were still there, the flower you planted, he tried to keep it alive and water it, the way you left your stuff around the house, that way it was easier to transport himself to a time when you were there with him, still at home

The people of the past are hard to forget but he didn't mind, he faced the situation with more determination than he himself expected, he was surprised at the resolve he had come up with

He had loved without regret, and with every passing day he'd be closer to reuniting with you again

Nikto

The only sound occupying the complete silence is the static in his mind, he's just numb, doesn't know what to do, what he should do with whatever emotions he's trying to detect, he must feel something

He was just delivered the worst news of his life, he should be breaking down and crying but he can barely even process the fact that you really are gone, he looses his train of thought every five seconds and can only stare forward as if in a trance he's unable to escape out of

He feels the long seconds drag by but he can't get up from his fixed spot on the chair, it's like a knife has been plunged into his side and pulled out, leaving the gaping wound pulsating softly, but he can barely hear his flesh scream out in pain, he can only feel the blood oozing out, staining his clothes and falling to the floor in droplets as he actively ignores it

He is hurt but can only clutch at it, he can't get up, feels far too comfortable sitting on this kitchen chair staring forward to the wall, elbows resting on his knees

[tcoaal]

Should've sent this yesterday but ever felt like Renee ever felt guilty or remorse for anything she did to the kids? At all?

happy belated mother's day Renee wish the kids had killed you worse! anyways... that's an interesting question because like, it feels like you could make an argument for that based on two separate scenes but I'm much more inclined to believe she doesn't and that Renee was largely more uncomfortable when faced with the reality "I'm murdering my children for money" more than actual guilt or remorse for doing it. i used to think maybe she did when i first only played Chapter 1 but not anymore

so first in chapter 1 Renee seems to have some regret or hesitation about what she's doing, and then again in the 3a flashbacks she seems to have some hesitation to the point of having to ask if there's truly no chance the kids are going to live for assurance to go through with it

but also Renee's response when she's lead to believe the kids definitely died in a fire and they're 100% in the clear was to buy steaks and wine to have a celebration dinner. Renee's flashbacks shows her viewing her kids solely as Embarrassment and Disappointment in her internal narration. nothing about her actions after believing them to be dead hints at any kind of actual remorse in any capacity, only joy

Renee is a Tar Soul To-Be and i think these scenes are more like... Renee being uncomfortable with being confronted with the reality of what she's doing more than feeling guilty about it. something Nemlei talked about in that Q&A regarding Renee's original plan is noting that there are some similarities between them, and I think Insincere Catholic Guilt is definitely one of them. teen Andrew laments that he would turn himself if it would bring back Nina but justifies because it won't there's no reason to, there's a really great post about it here and I think Renee is kind of the same. this was still presumably early enough she could've gotten her kids out quicker, but the Surgeon says there's no way her kids are gonna make it. she knows the parasites aren't real. but this grand conspiracy with forces stronger than them has taken root... if her kids are going to die no matter what, shouldn't she get something, a compensation for the 22 years she spent on these hellions? it's going to happen no matter what, even if she warns them, they'll probably prevent them from leaving right?

that's just how i read these scenes. i think if Renee felt actual genuine remorse she would've probably like, more calmly accepted her fate in chapter 2, you know? like, ha. i tried to kill my own kids. of course they're going to kill me and their father. i had this coming. of course the situation was fucked beyond belief, but that's my personal take. if Renee had been a full Tar Soul i doubt she would've been uncomfortable facing the reality of it though. what Renee really wants is both justification for her actions and to be able to turn a blind eye to the reality of what it cost

you could say that maybe she was written to be harsher than initially intended when the early game was still out before chapter 2 and some aspects of her changed just a little bit, but i doubt Nemlei would've done that and i think her character has been pretty consistent. i suppose you could also argue the first scene isn't reliable as it was solely from Ashley's POV and Ashley shows throughout the game (and especially in 3A) she has an odd relationship with wanting her mother's attention despite hating her and that this might've been more being shown from her perspective alone and that Renee was harsher, but unless Burial shows Ashley misremembering things from the past with her own rose-tinted filter i find it really unlikely. everything in this paragraph is purely just wild mass guessing speculation

tl;dr: no i think she's just uncomfortable being confronted with the reality of her actions like Andrew usually is because she also wants to believe she's a normal person in normal society

[photogirl894]

I can't keep quiet anymore. I've got some things to say about the whole Tech situation from Bad Batch...

I've kept a lot of this bottled in for a long time, but now, I just can't. Long rant ahead, be warned.

First of all, I understand he was loved by many people and seeing your favorite characters die is extremely hard. Believe me, I swore I would quit the show if Hunter died. Though, some of the fans' reactions and the things fans are STILL saying to this day a few months after the show ended, I feel need addressing because I think people are missing the bigger picture here.

"Tech deserved better"/"They killed the only 'neurodivergent' character"...

Frankly, I don't think it would've mattered who they killed because people would've found something negative to say about it.

Hunter: "Of course, they would kill the mentor/father-figure!"

Crosshair: "Why did they have him die to redeem himself?"

Echo: "They killed the disabled character!"

Wrecker: "Why would they kill the big teddy bear character with the biggest heart?"

It wouldn't matter who it was, people would still find some way to complain about it. But of all the Batch to die, I do agree with what the creators said in saying it had to be Tech because things would've been much easier if Tech had lived. Now, hear me out! I'm not saying I wanted him to die or he deserved to die; heavens, no! I was devastated by his death and he's not even my favorite Clone. But if you think about it, his death was what paved the way for everything else that needed to happen.

If Tech had lived, they would've tracked the shuttle to Tantiss, probably stormed the base, broke out Crosshair, gone back to Pabu, end of story. But here's the thing: the mending of the sqaud's relationships with Crosshair probably would've been a bit rougher. Crosshair's relationship with Omega would most likely be different and that all just seems too easy.

Because of Tech's death and what happened on Eriadu, Omega wouldn't have been taken to Tantiss and formed a relationship with Crosshair as well as restore his hope in escaping. They wouldn't have needed to go to Barton IV, which is where a LOT happened in the Batch rebuilding their relationships with Crosshair, especially Hunter. If Tech had been there, he might've had Crosshair check his hand much sooner, which wouldn't have led to Omega bonding with Crosshair over trying to help him and teaching him to meditate. Everything else that followed involving Crosshair's growth, Omega's growth, the Batch growing closer as a family, etc, would not have happened had Tech lived. What we might've gotten would've been vastly underwhelming. Tech's absence made the Batch have to work together more to achieve their goals, which brought them closer together by the end of the show.

Granted, I do believe it still would've been nice to see Tech be a part of the family dynamic after Crosshair's return, but I don't think it would've been remotely the same. I could very well be wrong; maybe what we could've gotten had he lived might've still been just as good, but that's all pure speculation now. But I know there are moments we all loved from season 3 that wouldn't have happened had Tech survived and would've vastly changed the story.

As to the "killing the ND character" thing, I highly doubt that was why they did it. There was no agenda there and I feel that point is just something people want to say to justify hating his death. I understand if you're ND and seeing a character like you/you relate to die on screen is hard, but that doesn't mean that the creators are out to get you and they're "taking away representation". Like I said earlier, you could make any excuse to why they'd kill any of the characters, but that's not what they were doing with Tech. Tech's absence created the most challenges for the Batch, which was what led them to work more together and grow closer as a family. It still sucks we had to lose him anyway, but his loss had more impact on the story than anyone else's would've. Characters are killed for "plot purposes" all the time. That's just part of storytelling and driving a story forward. (Unless you're Game of Thrones and you just kill characters left and right for the hell of it)

"CX-2 should've been Tech! They manipulated us into thinking it was him!"

Here's where I might get a little controversial, but just hear me out.

Here's the thing: I only believed CX-2 might've been Tech when he used the word "domicile". And even then, that was a loose belief because I didn't want to be disappointed if it turned out not to be true, which it did. Everything else people were saying was "proof" that the assassin was Tech, I personally couldn't see it. And I'm someone who closely analyzed a LOT of things throughout the show.

I'm gonna come out and say it: I think a lot of fans were heartbroken over Tech and wanted him to be alive that they saw what they wanted to see in order to justify that want.

I wanted Tech to be alive, too, and I even said a couple times to people "we didn't see a body" or "if X character (like Maul or Palpatine) can survive a fall, then Tech can", but I never firmly held onto that belief. Because I wasn't so set on "he's alive and he's going to come back", I didn't see all the things people claimed they saw that "proved" CX-2 was Tech. They claimed he walked like him, I honestly didn't think so. They claimed he talked like him/sounded like him. How could you tell? He had a voice modulator and frankly, he sounded like a mix of Clone voices and I never heard Tech's voice.

I honestly believe a lot of fans saw what they wanted to see in order to justify saying "Tech is alive" because they were angry or sad that he had died in the first place. Then to find out in the finale that they were wrong, they got angry and claimed the creators "manipulated" them into thinking Tech was the assassin. Which was not what they did. Also side note: with how the actors and creators were vague on talking about Tech's death, which I think was also a contributing factor to people thinking Tech was alive; that could've possibly been handled better, yes, but think about it: they loved Tech as much we did. Maybe they didn't want to outright say "he's dead" because they were struggling with it, too. I don't think those vague statements were made to mess with us. I think the cast and crew were still trying to cope with Tech's death just as much as the rest of us.

This is part of why I say making theories or speculations about shows is dangerous because when you hold on too closely to them or convince yourself your theory is right, it ruins things for you when you turn out to be wrong. Some people get too convinced they're right about certain things and then when they're not, they get angry and hate the show. That's part of why fans got angry at "The Last Jedi"; fans were convinced Rey was a Kenobi or related to some other big SW character and then it was revealed that her parents were nobody, which made people mad cuz their theories were proven wrong. (Not gonna go into how they backpedaled on that in Rise of Skywalker, but my point still stands). I know some people may not agree with what I'm saying to this point, but I assure you, I'm not trying to invalidate anyone. I'm merely pointing that what everyone thought was there was not actually what was happening, which unfortunately soured your opinions on the show/how they handled Tech.

Which then brings me to this point:

"They never mentioned Tech"/"They never mourned Tech"/"They wrote him out of existence"...

First of all, the first and last sentence couldn't be farther from the truth. They reference Tech several times throughout season 3.

And here's the thing: after his death, Tech is mentioned more times in season 3 than several other Clones were ever mentioned after their deaths throughout the entirety of Clone Wars combined!

99: 1 time

Hevy: 2 times

Fives: 3 times

Hardcase: 0 times

Waxer: 0 times

Cody: 0 times (I know he's not dead supposedly, but he's still disappeared and hasn't been mentioned since)

Echo: 1 time, but only just before it was discovered he was actually alive

Gregor: 0 times until it was revealed first he was alive in Rebels

Jesse: 0 times

Mayday: 0 times, but shown 1 time

Tech: 13 times

If you don't believe me, I will give episodes, scenes and/or lines for every single time he's referenced.

The show did not forget him. The Batch did not forget him. If they had completely forgotten about him, they would not have referenced him by name or alluded to him with his goggles or datapad several times. So please, can we stop saying they forgot about him? Cuz it's just not true. Just cuz they didn't all sit down at a table and full on talk about him at length doesn't mean the characters or the creators forgot about him. His absence was still very much felt, but he still had a presence throughout the last season.

Which leads me to the Bad Batch not properly mourning him. First of all, everyone mourns differently. My husband is a good example. Both of his grandparents died within the span of a couple years, but he didn't cry at either funeral because he knows he'll be reunited with them in heaven one day, which I know too, but he chose not to cry. Whereas I was a mess at both funerals and I didn't know them nearly as well as he did.

Same with the Bad Batch. Keep in mind, they are soldiers. They've probably gone a long time knowing any one of them could die throughout the Clone Wars. Most of the Clones knew that. Honestly, when did we ever really see the Clones "properly" mourn their brothers other than the CW series finale? Fives or Rex didn't mourn Echo after he "died". No one properly mourned Fives. Or 99 or Hardcase or Waxer. Most Clones didn't get "properly" mourned because they were soldiers. Rex even says in Clone Wars s7 ep2:

"I have watched so many of my brothers fall during this war, and I try not to hang on to any one of them."

The Clones are taught/programmed to not really mourn their brothers because they are soldiers in war and any of them could die at any moment. The same applies to the Bad Batch. Now, the argument could possibly be made that the Batch are a smaller squad and closer than most other Clone groups, so they should be different, but that still doesn't take away from the fact that they were still born and raised as soldiers. The way they handle death is different than how we might in real life.

The bigger fact of the matter is, right after Tech died, a lot happened. The Batch were all badly injured and then Omega got captured. Their attention was then focused on finding Omega instead of Tech. Plus, what did Tech say in "The Crossing"? That "change is a fundamental part of life" and "we have to adapt and move on". I really think that's what the Batch did: they had to adapt to the change and move on. They couldn't take time to mourn Tech because finding Omega took precedence.

And if you really think about it: that's what Tech would've wanted.

He was adamant about rescuing Crosshair and I honestly believe, if he could speak from beyond the grave, that he would've been adamant about them rescuing Omega instead of wallowing in sorrow over losing him. We all know how much he loved his brothers and his sister, so I firmly believe he would not have wanted them to focus on him.

That all, of course, is more speculation, but it is just something to think about.

If you've made it this far, my point is: I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's feelings about how things with Tech were handled. I think a lot of us were just shocked with his death and plenty more coped with it by essentially denying it and finding things to justify him being alive in the hopes that he would come back somehow. I've seen people act like Tech still being dead is, like, the first time a character's death has been actually final, but this isn't the first time a beloved Clone has died and his death was final.

Fives is still dead.

99 is still dead.

Jesse is still dead.

Mayday is still dead.

Plenty of other Clones are still dead.

The only exception so far has been Echo and Gregor (the first time) for reasons I don't know. So Tech's death being made final after the Bad Batch finale is nothing new, so I don't know why people are so up in arms like it's the first time it's ever happened. I know it sucks other characters in SW can die and come back by some means, but with Clones, this is how it's been.

I miss Tech, too. I struggle watching "Plan 99" and thinking about him being gone is hard even for me...but don't hate on the Bad Batch because they didn't bring him back. They gave us an incredible story; probably the best in all of Star Wars animation and I'm afraid people are losing sight of that because they're mad about Tech not actually being alive like they thought. We didn't see him in season 3, but his memory and legacy was still ever present. Hell, the show ended with Omega becoming a pilot just like him and wanting to help the Rebellion. If that's not perfectly honoring Tech and his sacrifice, then I don't know what is.

If you disagree with me, that's fine, but please keep things civil if you choose to say anything. These are just my thoughts and observations. I felt many of these criticisms were unfair and needed to be addressed.

I love the Bad Batch so much and I just want other people to remember their love for it, too, despite the tragic loss of Tech.

[vaya-is-dead]

Hour two of my delusional city

Let's talk about Timebomb

* arcane act three spoilers under the cut don't read it if you haven't watched it you have been warned*

HOUR ONE HERE FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE

*Note* I am not personally a Timebomb fan. I don't really care for it, but I think there is a lot of nuance that can go with it, especially considering that it happens in an alternate universe.

As a sidenote to the whole jinx might be alive thing. I wanted to touch upon the now sort of canon ship TimeBomb. I say sort of purely because it became real in an AU.

I see a lot of people complaining about it, becoming Canon, but I think this is a good demonstration for Ekko and Jinx as characters.

Think about it this way, in the AU there is no jinx, there is only Powder. Everyone but Vi lived. This means, specifically for Jinx, she didn't have to go through some of the most traumatizing events in her life. This allowed her to fully become who she was probably meant to be. A brilliant young woman named Powder with ideas that would change the world.

In the main timeline, Ekko and Jinx are at odds there is no room for the relationship that could've developed to be there. Even after the fact, after Ekko talking to jinx and convincing her to do one final strike with the fireflight (think the name might be wrong. Please excuse it.) Jinx is still extremely traumatized and at this point, her goal is to make sure her remaining family, Vi , to be happy. in her mind that means without her.

So I think Ekko and Jinx would never work, at least not with an intense amount of therapy or self-discovery for Jinx.

But as we see in the AU, it works with powder.

Powder is what jinx could've been, had given the chance to live a normal life. She still has the same sass and charm, but instead of it being a coping mechanism, it becomes just something that naturally is a part of her personality. She is still deeply hurt by the loss of her sister, but she has the network to cope and to heal while still remembering her, which gives her the room for a romantic relationship in her life.

And as for Ekko, there is a flashback to a time where he actually killed jinx on the bridge but he rewinded time (it might've been a hallucination too, so correct me if I'm wrong)was this just reaffirm that he still cares for her and hasn't given up on her like he's so claims to. It is a show of his compassion for others and for the cause that he fights for. There is also the parallels between season one episode seven "boy Savior" which gave us the fight scene of The fireflight against Vi and jinx which gave us older Ekko, and episode seven of season two which gives us an explanation for where he's been for majority of season two.

On a sidenote, I also wanted to add that I think the talk with Ekko, made jinx realize that Isha sacrificed herself for her to live. And I like to think that maybe somewhere in her mind, she thinks that it would've done a disservice to Isha's sacrifice for her to die. (yes this is relating back to my delusional our number one theory.)

[aly4khq]

✧˚ · . i think...𓇢𓆸

- xᴀᴠɪᴇʀ -

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lately, the tension between you and Xavier has gotten worse with each passing day. the last time you both had a conversation was when you were in a meeting that was about your next mission. majority of your co-workers and your team had easily noticed the growing hatred that was spreading around the air. it broke your heart, it broke his but neither of you have the courage to talk it out.

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"stop acting stupid. that's all i'm trying to say?" his voice boomed with fury, reaching your ears in a disgusting tone. his cerulean eyes dark with disgust, staring at you like you've betrayed him. his demeanour crazily shifted from how he was before.

"how am i acting stupid? all i did was save that girl! you want me to let her die?" your voice didn't compete with his, you're carrying regret for something you didn't do wrong in. you were furious, yes, but showing that would only made that worse. your arms crossed as you mumbled under your breath.

"what was that? say it out loud." he walked closer to you, his steps heavy against the floor of your apartment. stepping back to keep a distance, your arm uncrossed just in case he lashes out.

"you could've died...huh? is that was you want? to be dead? that's selfish, you're being selfish. stop that." his hand lifted to his hip, his upper torso leaning over you.

"so what if i died? i would've died a hero. i barely got injured, it wasn't even that bad of a wanderer. any beginner could beat that." arguing back, his eyes widened at your statement. they turned black, you couldn't see xavier in them anymore.

you couldn't hear the soft voice of your love.

you couldn't feel his soft touch, just harshness.

you couldn't breathe.

your own eyes rose in size as you realised where his hand landed, straight on your neck. his grip tightened, leaving you no choice but to suffer under his gaze. he was crazy, he looked crazy. the pure evil in his face terrified you.

"barely got injured?! you broke your hand!! how dumb are you to understand that you're not destructible!!" his voice was what nearly made you cry out of pain, he was serious yet so aggressive.

"xav-agh- mhm-" you struggled to get his attention, your hand grasping his to try and pry him off, the other no use. his words weren't reaching your ears, they were mumbles; the ringing interrupted every letter.

you came to your last conclusion, you tap his arm thrice, harsh taps to be in fact. it was your safeword, but right now you couldn't do anything else. somehow, that clicked to him.

his eyes shifted back to its original colour, his hand loosing its harmful grip of your neck as he stepped back in horror. as his hands slowly retreated to his side, he tried to get a hold of himself; his mouth agape in surprise.

"fuck- are you okay? i didn't mean it. shit! um-" he scrambled to fine something to help your coughing fit, his last resort was getting some water. he handed the bottle to you before he helped you drink.

after, you held the counter, not daring to stare at him in fear that you might see that face again. your voice was soft and cracked with your gentle cries in between.

his mind cursed at him for doing something so idiotic, he knew that you won't want for him to be here. but his heart still broke when he heard those words.

"...i think you should go..."

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no one knew the story, only you and him. that same day, you had requested for another partner to work with. luckily, it was tara. but sometimes you can't hide stuff from your best friend. especially if she's with you nearly every day.

"babe come on. you're not fine. i know it. please talk to me." she begged and pleaded for you to stop keeping it in. she held you tightly as she rubbed your arm. her face the saddest it's ever been. she caressed your face with her other hand, lifting your head up to see your face clearly.

"you can always talk to me. i promise." her kindness watered your eyes, making you feel so loved and welcomed. sitting up straight, you sighed before laying your head on her shoulder.

"not yet tara...i think i should wait." your voice softened her ears, the tears embedded in your words. understandingly, she nodded while nuzzling her head onto of yours.

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"you STUPID idiot! how could you screw up this bad xavier?!"

shouts and yells echoed in every corner of xavier's apartment, your hands grasping tara's bicep as you begged her to shut up and leave. her finger in his face as she scolded him angrily. you had finally told her, preparing yourself for this.

"tara-" "NO. listen babe, i can't sit past this. he WHAT?!"

oh my gosh. pulling on her jumper, your voice increased in volume as well. "tara! come on!!" she squirmed in your grasp, her eyes full of so much emotion. you were started to get a little bit more excited the more she scolded xavier but you laughing would add fuel to the fire.

"what an idiotic boyfriend you are. i gave you one job- JUST ONE. and you mess it up. take care of her. simple instructions and you know what you said that you will take care of her until your last breathe. might as well stop breathing. my gosh, what a-

BANG!

she slammed her hand onto the wall beside her, the sound vibrating through the air. your eyes narrowed at her strength.

-fucking LIAR!"

finally moving her to the door, you tried to calm her down in your own words, only stopping to open the door properly, pushing her out gently. you hesitated to follow.

turning your head to face xavier, he was staring at you, in melancholy. a part of you wanted to have a conversation, one that lasted for as many hours as it took just for you two to go back to how you were before.

"babe! let's go."

it felt like stinging needles as you forced yourself to pull away from his dreadful eyes, tara watching you like a hawk as she let you say your last words.

"...i'll think i should go..."

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idk if i wanna finished this.

anyway

do not steal any of my work even tho they are trash!

date made: 29-31/05/24

[11queensupreme11]

Hellooo

you previously mentioned that the yanderes will do anything to the lessen the agony and pain for percy, but as you said that drinking their blood will not keep her soul from chipping away

and based on her recent conversation with beeli it seemed like he wanted her to ASK him by her free will to ascend her after experiencing the pain so wouldn’t giving her their blood kind of ruin that since she already kind of wants to die and refuses to ascend?

I am aware that some of them (Poseidon&Hades especially) do not care about her consent and will ascend her cause “they know better” but wouldn’t forcing her to feel the pain to the point of BEGGING the others to ascend her help with the after since they can just pull the “YOU BEGGED US TO ASCEND YOU” card and guilt and manipulate her better since she isn't supposed to hold resentment against them for it because she asked for it

in the recent chapter, beel wasn't actually asking for her permission 😅 he was just about to... well, do it! ascend her right then and there, but percy stopped him.

not only did she just stop him, but she pissed him off with her insistence of wanting to go back home or die! and a pissed off beelie is a dangerous beelie because even though he could've just said "fuck no, ur becoming a goddess and never coming home" and ascend her, he decided to punish her for refusing him. he's going to happily let her live in pure torturous agony because he THINKS she'll give in to the pain and come crawling back to him, begging for his help (and admitting that he was right and that she couldn't handle the pain)

he's gonna find out just how stubborn this girl is and how determined she is to die or find a way home. her suicidal tendencies are just as strong as his, she just shows it differently 😂 he's gonna regret this sooooo bad lmao

also, it's only poseidon (so far) that knows that drinking ichor helps alleviate the pain for some time. and even if the other yans knew, they wouldn't use it as a way to get her to give in and accept ascension

if you remember, only beelie, loki, mnemosyne, and the valkyries know the truth about percy. they know that she CAN be ascended. the other gods don't. to them, percy is a product of a faulty bifrost and a failed ascension hence her being "half-human", so they're relying on beelzebub to "find a way to safely ascend her". if they actually knew the truth, she would've already been ascended against her will a loooooong time ago.

and out of the characters who know the truth, only BEELZEBUB is the one powerful enough to ascend her on his own. for my fic, a supreme god or someone of equal strength can ascend a mortal to a god and beelzebub is the only person who can do it AND knows the truth, buuuut as i mentioned above ^^ he's currently punishing her to teach her a lesson.

[tired-reader-writer]

I Guess We're Doing This Again™

Yeah. It's me. The fool. Starting another reread project because fuck everything else I guess? My hope is that doing this will inspire me for Wolfsong (also planning to read the Nausicaa manga though I most likely won't be liveblogging it— I adored the movie and I think smth new could also inspire me, that's what I hope anyways) but anyways! This reread probably won't be so in-depth, I don't think? I think my past rereads kinda exhausted the Big thoughts I wanted to say but who knows, I could be proven wrong.

So without further ado:

Headwear on the background characters!

What kinda relationship did Arslan and this attendant dude have, I wonder? Was that dude assigned to Arslan long-term or was he “just another servant”? We don't see him outside of chapter 1. Did he get switched out? Did he die?

Really wish there were more commoner/slave/servant characters, damn.

I also pointed out in a reread entry post before (don't got the energy to track it down rn) but it seems like there's an anklet thing to signify someone's gholām status, at least in Ecbatana. It's purely visual and never gets pointed out in narration or dialogue but it does make me go “!”.

The anklet thing somehow made me think of the secret princess bracelet thing from the second part of the novels— and Ashaya as well. I think I'm having a bit of an idea for her backstory but I have yet to synthesize it into a coherent thing, it's a very spur-of-the-moment inspiration, uhhhh it involves:

A gholām woman that Sherine (Ashaya) is close to, probably a caretaker

That woman gets accused of stealing something. Probably the royal bracelet. I don't know how or why that happens. Why do I also have an inkling that she Knows something? Probably not the secret royal stuff... (unless?) but what if she was somebody from the Mardi who was re-captured post-massacre?

Bracelet vs anklet

“She didn't steal nothing, still they beat her bloody.”

I'm infusing this child with so much trauma and horror

Something something witness to the atrocities something something agent of truth

What if it was that lady that urged Sherine/Ashaya to run away, told her to find her people or something?

Haunted temple. There may or may not be an echo of a princess. She may or may not have “Asha” in her name.

Something something echoes of the past something something the truth always socks you in the face eventually

Sherine may have lost the bracelet assigned to her but maybe she picks up the mystery princess's thing

I don't know where I'm going with this I've been so tired

This suggests that Andragoras wasn't in Ecbatana, right? If they were in the same city, there wouldn't be a letter to deliver, right??? Andragoras could've just said “oy, you, go fetch Vahriz for me”, right? I wonder where he was during this time. In another fortress? (Zabul, possibly? Because he found out about Lusitanian movement before Vahriz did so he must've gone west????)

Considering Daryun said that he hasn't had any contact with Narsus ever since the latter was banished from court, how did he know where exactly to find Narsus? Did rumors fly? Was it an open secret? Though to be fair, Elam pulling this kinda thing would've made locals Know and maybe word spread that way? Possibly?

This ain't the throne room. It looks too different. What hall is this? A meeting hall of sorts?

More clothing focus.

I don't remember why I took this screenshot.

(for context I took these like, uhhh quite some time ago, I was rereading but didn't have the mental capacity to do a commentary post so the screencaps sat in the gallery and whoops that wasn't so wise because I Forget Things™)

[ppgxrrblove]

I 'screamed' so dang loud, basically it was a scream covered mouth squeeling - i haven't been this overjoyed on a game for over too many years gosh dang it. And than the girls they're personalities - after so long i cant describe how happy i am that this is a thing i am so glad that they paid attention to detail of the girls to a point that they added THE BOYS!! I...

i have been waiting for the series to be at least in a game that i loved or found interesting a collab would be nice because i know its difficult due to licensing for the girls to have they're own game after so many years. But i did expect this to be so great that i just couldnt type correctly when i reacted to the girls being so just adorable wholesome being who i saw as i grew up as a child and got taught so many lessons from them. I am happy and i am actually shocked they actually thought about the boys i was bamboozled by them appearing with they're voices being close to the original and the stage is perfection.

Fairly, the narrator should have been tom kenny like come on you cannot bring the babies in without the narrator voice, however, i can understand somewhat why they couldn't; a he could've been booked busy or b he just wants a break? possibly wanted a day off and they caught him on his day off possibly lol. But yeah i just thank you so much, and i noticed the movements the girls made, the conversation amongst each other was too good i.. excuse me i just feel all giddy of the details.

With that being smacked out of the way-will i be playing the game now? No. Yes, yes i know what i said, but the was purely due to excitement, and the onky reason why i will never really play this 'game' like smash bros baby king here lol, its because i don't like the fact that its microtransaction and free to play. i do not, will never support it, however i will test them out when they do drop in the game. But that won't like make me play the game forever and keep it - nah, if this was a legit game with characters that i love then i would've bought the game and enjoyed it but since its this type of app....yeah no. especially since its with WB and ya know there record 😑.

To add on, i really hope someone on the mod scene dumps the girls into games - please these models and the boys are beautifully well done and ooh please MMD someone in there put them - i will "die" happily here xD!!

[babyangelsky]

BL Challenge 2k24 ✨Day 8✨

Hello and welcome to @negrowhat's 15 Day BL Challenge! Full challenge can be found here.

The Trope You Hate Except When It's "This Series": Forced Separation with a Time Skip Cherry on Top

♡ gif by @radishayuan from this set

Except when it's My Only 12%

This show. This show is the source of the majority of my beef with New Siwaj and yet, I love it beyond words. I really do. It's the third BL I ever watched and it has a special place in my heart. I don't know what the hell P'New puts in his shows that makes them hit like nothing else. I have to be in a very specific mood to rewatch this show but when I get into that mood, I have to rewatch it because nothing else will do.

Now let me just say, I truly and incandescently hate the forced separation trope, but it's so much worse when there's a time skip added in. When it's done poorly, it's usually because the writers wanted to throw in a last second conflict before the end of the show (usually in episode fucking 11) just so they can resolve it in five minutes in the finale. I hate it and it needs to die.

Even when it's not done poorly (because it's rarely done well) it's usually still frustrating and devastating. Like what did I personally do to deserve this? Someone is always going to study abroad or getting transferred abroad or making a deal with someone's disapproving parents or moving to the U.S. and going radio silent for FIVE YEARS GAO SHI DE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON Y—

*ahem*

But! My Only 12% is the only show I've seen where the separation and time skip don't only work, but are necessary. I just really wish it had been done better.

♡ gif by @loveisactivated from this set

As heartbreaking as Cake and Eiw's separation was—and fuck, it was brutal—I do really feel like it needed to happen. Eiw's entire universe revolved around Cake and his entire sense of self was tied to Cake. Eiw needed to grow and I don't think he would've been able to do so nearly as well if Cake and the comfort zone he provided were there for him to fall back on. Cake's absence didn't only give him the space to become a more self-possessed person, it forced him to become one, even if initially it was for Cake's sake.

Which is why I'm so sad we got to see so little of that separation, and therein lies my beef with New; if the show hadn't turned into an anti-smoking PSA and had everyone crying for the last two episodes, there would've been enough time for both the separation and for Cake and Eiw's relationship to develop after they got together.

Cake wasn't gone for even one entire episode! Yes the time skip needed to be condensed, but the four years they spent apart were an important part of the story! There needed to be more time dedicated to them. If they'd spent just one more episode with Cake and Eiw separated, we could've seen more of their development.

I wanted to see my sweet boy Eiw grow up and become more confident and make new friends and adjust to university. (I also wanted more of him and Title but that's purely selfish because I'm a Title Tanatorn girly and I can't believe I didn't get to see them kiss even once) I wanted to see Cake really coming to terms with the fact that he was always in love with Eiw and with his sexuality. I wanted to see him miss Eiw the way we saw Eiw miss him.

♡ gif by @loveisactivated from this set

Their reunion would've ultimately hit that much harder and been that much sweeter if only we had been given a chance to really sit with their separation.

Not to mention that because the pacing was done the way it was and because we got the ending that we got, we only had like five minutes of Cake and Eiw's boyfriend era before everyone started crying! THAT IS CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR, NEW!

♡ gif by @krystaljungs from this set

Look at them! We deserved to see more of this! We deserved more of them just being happy and disgustingly in love! After all that pain and pining you're only going to give me five minutes of happiness?! You're going to hurt my queer feelings for half a show with the sweetest childhood friends to lovers arc I've ever seen and then drop the ball and not make it up to me?! NEW WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON Y—

[incorrectjttw]

golden cicada, since you were a cicada, have you ever sung to find a partner, like your brothers?

I know that cicadas live a long time underground and all their young emerge at the same time to reproduce. This as a method of survival and ensuring the greatest number of future offspring. And then the cicadas die after reproducing.

Do you remember your brothers?

Tripitaka, have you ever felt the desire to sing like in your past life? I know you like poetry and nature. Do you feel connected to your insect half?

Wukong, have you ever been curious about the taste of golden cicada? If you had not met Tripitaka, would you have eaten the monk Tripitaka? If you had met the golden cicada when you were younger, would you have eaten Golden Cicada?

I heard that golden cicadas are a delicious dish for Chinese people.

Golden Cicada: Uhm ... yes and no. The answer to this is kind of complicated. I have never mated, because by the time I reached adulthood, I was a full blown spirit with a mind of my own.

Golden Cicada: The forest, where I was laid as an egg, is the home of my original master, Yuding Zhenren, a Golden Immortal whose magic fills the forest. Of course my siblings and I all paid our respects to him after emerging from the earth, but that's where we parted. They were content with mating and dying, like you said, but that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to be immortal, so I became Yuding's disciple.

Golden Cicada: But while I never reproduced, I do still sometimes sing at night. Partly in memory of my dead siblings, but mainly to annoy my fellow disciples. *snickers* I kept that habit, even after I converted and followed the Buddha. It'll never not be funny!

.

Tripitaka: Oh, I do like singing! I'm not comfortable doing it in front of others, though. I get stage fright. And yes, I also love poetry and nature. They relax me. :)

Tripitaka: Well ... to be honest, I have mixed feelings about Golden Cicada. Since becoming the Buddha of Sandalwood Merit, I remember when I was them, but they feel so ... wrong. Not wrong as in, a horrible person I'd never want to be, but more like ... someone I'm expected to be, but am not. Being treated like them feels wrong. Being called by their name feels wrong. They're a stranger. We have few things in common. That person ... isn't me.

.

Sun Wukong: Hmm ... no, I've never thought of that. It wouldn't even have been easy, because Three-Eyes (Erlang Shen) has told me some stuff about them that actually makes me think they could've kicked my arse. And that I would've chipped my teeth on Golden Cicada's exoskeleton.

Sun Wukong: But yes, we do sometimes eat insects. When prepared right, they're pretty tasty! Still kinda unsettled me, when my master said that if he wasn't a vegetarian he'd eat cicadas purely to spite his past life. I ... I think he needs help.

[dee-in-the-box]

thinking.

thinking about Dave and his thoughts on Jack pre-Everything (in my headcanons, obviously)

like, the way i view Jack pre-Dee's Murder is that he's still rather blunt and rude, but he could still be rather sweet to others when he wanted. like the whole "kind, but not nice" type of thing.

(also, note that Dave mentioned, while talking to Dee, that he was never fine with Henry murdering her, and that he even tried to talk Henry out of doing it. there's also a Henry Tape where Dave sounds like he regrets what had happened to Dee, mentioning to Henry that he "knew this was a bad idea," and even sounding like he doesn't agree with them framing Jack for the crime. all in all, it's one of the few times we get to hear Dave go "Henry, I don't like what we're doing, and I don't feel comfortable helping you with this." so me writing Dave in this to regret Dee's murder and be generally uncomfortable with what's happening is not technically out of character.)

(this also turned into a bit of a fic whoops-)

thinking about Dave deciding to talk to Jack because...well, he seems kind of approachable. if a little...blunt at times.

he didn't hesitate to talk to Dave about whatever while he worked on animatronics. sometimes it was just complaints about his coworkers from other jobs, sometimes it was his past.

but a lot of the time it was about his siblings. he spoke rather highly of them, especially his sister.

Jack was oddly concerned about him, and the sheer number of scars that littered his body. he was nice to Dave, treated him like an actual human and not a freak (Jack would "jokingly" laugh it off when Dave would bring it up, saying something along the lines of "Well, I mean, a lot of people consider me to be a bit of a freak too, so I guess I understand a bit, man." Dave tries to ignore the sadness in his eyes as he says that, about how it's clear that Jack's had that particular insult slung at him more than once himself, albeit for...different reasons than Dave).

Dave will admit...maybe he got a bit infatuated.

Jack certainly didn't hesitate to let people know what he thought, that was for sure. as Dave had noted early on, he was blunt. he didn't even have much restraint with Henry, his boss. sure, he never said anything that would get him fired, but there were times where you could've convinced Dave that he stepped right up to that line.

sure, Dave could understand a bit why Henry might not have been particularly fond of Jack.

it was when Henry brought up killing Dee that Dave had tried putting his foot down a bit. he tried bringing up every excuse in the book (besides legality, because Henry clearly didn't care about that at this point) to keep Henry from doing it: they wouldn't have a place to hide the third body, Dave was worried about getting cold feet (definitely not because he'd grown close to Jack. definitely not), but, most of all, because it was likely going to piss Jack the FUCK off.

(it had come up during a conversation one afternoon.

"So, Old Sport...you said you were willing to die for your sister once-"

"Oh, fuck yeah, I'd give my life for her's in a heartbeat, Will."

"And...what if someone ever tried to hurt her, like seriously hurt her-?"

He didn't even hesitate.

"I'd tear them limb from limb where they stand.")

Dave had hoped that Henry would've dropped it by the next day.

he definitely didn't.

(Dave had to restrain her while Henry tried killing her. it took a while, given that she kept kicking right at Henry's arms, scratching and biting him. she didn't go down easy, that was for certain.

Dave kept telling Henry not to do this, that he couldn't do this. can't they just threaten her not to say anything? they don't have to kill her. c'mon Henry, please-)

they took her scarf. Jack said that their mom had made it for her before she and their father died. even Dave felt a little bad about that.

Jack came back that evening, and he started looking around for her. Dave couldn't help but feel pure guilt over what had happened. he had to console Jack as he ran around the restaurant, screaming for his sister, saying things like "C'mon Dee, this isn't funny! Come out, Kiddo!" and "Dee? Dee?! Where are you, please!" he had to console Jack during a breakdown where the only words Jack was able to get out through his sobs were "Peter's gonna fucking kill me." he couldn't help but feel shame, remorse as he was practically forced to lie to Jack's face, saying "We'll find her, I'm sure she's alright."

they sent Jack home for a few days, just to process his grief. Dave continued to do his job. it felt like his guilt was eating him alive over those few days.

(he feels eyes on him. he hears whispers. he notices the animatronics getting aggressive. things are moving around.)

Jack comes back, eye bags darker, his eyes still red from crying, but with a determined look on his face. he's rather short with Henry, clearly suspicious of him, but he goes off to do his job.

Dave never sees him...alive after that.

Henry acts weird after that. the hauntings get worse.

after a few days, he decides to finally confront Henry about everything. to try and put his foot down once more.

it doesn't work. but he does learn a few more things.

Henry's building a vessel for Dee. and Jack is dead.

they're framing him for murder.

Dave tries to protest; this isn't what he wants!

Henry shushes him again.

"You wanted this."

Dave goes back to talk with the cops. he still doesn't like this.

Henry promises to show him what happened to Jack later that night.

and when the restaurant closes that evening, Henry tries to take him back to show him after they waited for a bit in the office to make sure that Fredbear and Springbonnie wouldn't move too much and potentially kill one of them. they did hear some movement, but it didn't last long. Henry tries to take him to the Saferoom to show him Jack's resting place.

the suit's empty.

Dave doesn't think he's ever seen Henry legitimately scared before. they both head out into the dining room, where they discover something they failed to notice earlier, and probably the source of the noise.

a trail of blood across the tile floor, leading to the door, where the trail turns into footprints.

it doesn't seem like Jack's dead anymore.

Dave doesn't remember much after that, just that he must've taken a nap or something and woken up sometime around 5:30 in the morning.

(why does his head hurt?)

Henry seems annoyed, taking Dave outside to look at something.

Henry's car has been scratched by someone, the word "LIAR" scratched into the door, and the windshield smashed. it was Jack, it had to be.

Henry had apparently also caught Dee, and put the Puppet on strings. something of which really seemed to piss her off.

(that thing kept staring right into his soul, almost shaking in rage at the sight of him. he keeps his distance)

Peter sued them at one point, and also won. Dave doesn't like thinking about it much, it brings The Guilt back up.

over the years, he felt his mind get more and more scrambled. he felt less remorse, and...even a little bit of his memories got screwed up.

he didn't recognize the name "Jack Kennedy" anymore (oh, but Jack can sure recognize him).

at some point, Henry either vanished or died, Dave's not sure which, and he was left alone again.

but...it wouldn't be for long.

(Colorado. Dave heard the Saferoom door open, and he turned to see...an orange man, no, a zombie.

he can help Dave with his plan!

"Hello there, Old Sport!"

in that moment, for a reason Dave can't understand, the new employee looks at him with a look that can only be described as a mix of annoyance, mild fear, and...pity.

...wait.

why does he look so...familiar?

has Dave met him before?)

[icedragonlizard]

Headcanon: Kirby started vowing to prevent future tragedies from happening

Please note that like most of my other tumblr posts, everything here is purely my headcanons.

I'll also go ahead and post a 'Keep reading' tag pretty quickly. Because this may be a long post, as well as the fact that the things I will discuss here could end up making you really sad if you read it.

Feel free to click the Keep reading tag if you're willing to read it, tho!

Kirby has been very sad about the tragic deaths of Queen Sectonia and Max Profitt Haltmann, and feels awful for Taranza and Susie as they're both grieving over those losses. It disheartens him.

Kirby saw how tragic those incidents were, and so he vowed to prevent future tragedies from happening. At that point, he didn't want anymore incidents to be extremely sad over! Two tragedies was already more than enough, and he wishes they could've ended better.

During Star Allies, after Hyness and the Mage Sisters have been expelled from Void Termina's body, some of the dream friends watched the four sacrified Jambastion cultists get sucked into a rift that took them to Another Dimension.

After Void Termina has been defeated, the dream friends that witnessed those four being sent to Another Dimension then informed Kirby about it, and that's when he decided to have the group go to Another Dimension to save Hyness and the Mage Sisters. This is what led to the events of Heroes in Another Dimension.

The deaths of Sectonia and Haltmann were already incredibly tragic, and so Kirby didn't want Hyness and the Mage Sisters to die as well. He and the dream friends went out of their way to try to save them.

FYI, it was the wave 1 dream friends that watched the Jambastion cultists get sucked into the rift. Coo was the quickest to inform Kirby.

Heroes in Another Dimension happens, yadda yadda yadda, Kirby and the dream friends successfully save the Jambastion cultists.

Hyness survives, as do his three daughters. Kirby successfully prevent a third tragedy from occurring! Wonderful job.

The four Jambastion cultists are very grateful to Kirby and the dream friends. Things most likely would've ended very badly for them if they didn't get saved, and thus saving them made them so happy.

Kirby also successfully prevents another tragedy from happening later in time, during Forgotten Land.

After Fecto Elfilis has been defeated, the Beast Pack reconciled with Kirby and the waddle dees. Well, the Beast Pack, except for seemingly Leongar, who appears to be tragically gone.

But it looked like Leongar could be saved! His soul has been broken into pieces which could only be retrieved in going through the dream realm left behind by Fecto Forgo's memory. Clawroline asked for Kirby, Bandana Waddle Dee and Elfilin to go into that dream realm to save Leongar, and they agreed to her request into doing so.

Isolated Isles: Forgo Dreams happens, yadda yadda yadda. Ultimately, Leon survives and gets saved. Kirby prevents another tragedy, hooray! Thank Nova that he's managed to accomplish this.

Carol and the rest of the Beast Pack were very grateful to Kirby for saving Leon. Oh, how tragic could it have been if he didn't.

These incidents make Kirby even more of a hero than he previously was before. Of course, he's always been a hero, but these incidents of saving people from death just takes his hero status a step further.

The tragedies in Triple Deluxe and Planet Robobot made him very sad. It's made him vow to go out of his way to prevent future tragedies after those, and so far he's been successful in preventing tragedies that could've happened in Star Allies and Forgotten Land.

Kirby is very happy for the Mage Sisters now that Hyness is still alive with them, and he's very happy for Carol and the rest of the Beast Pack now that Leon is still alive with them. He's so proud of himself.

It's really wonderful. Kirby really cares. He cares so much in making sure people can be happy and not lose the one they don't want to lose.

However...

That being said...

Even though he's happy about how the situations in Star Allies and Forgotten Land turned out, that doesn't stop him from continuing to be really sad about how the situations in Triple Deluxe and Planet Robobot turned out. In fact, he's kind of even sadder about it now.

Kirby is a bleeding heart. He cares. He cares so much. He witnesses the grief that Taranza has over Sectonia, and the grief that Susie has over her father, and to him it's all just really heartbreaking.

Susie may not be quite as open about her grief to a lot of people as Taranza is, but she's absolutely been grieving too. Kirby knows about it. He's seen her cry about never being able to make up with her dad.

Kirby wishes he could've helped save Sectonia and Haltmann.

He wishes that he didn't have to put Sectonia down, and he wishes that Star Dream could've been destroyed without Haltmann being destroyed alongside with it. He didn't want for them to die.

His sorrow just added on even more when Taranza and Susie told him about what happened prior that led to those events: about how Sectonia became corrupted by that dimensional mirror, and about how Susie's relationship with her father was long ruined before he actually died as she was stuck in Another Dimension and then became forgotten about when she finally came back to him.

He learned about how Sectonia and Haltmann didn't start out as evil, and became evil due to outer influence. They didn't deserve to die....

When Kirby reconciled with Taranza and Susie after their respective games' events, he's been acting extra nice and sweet to both of them. Over the years of him being friends with these two, he's given them both a ton of hugs. He's felt like that they've been deserving tons of hugs after the things that happened to them.

He's also been going out of his way to visit them in their home places to give them company. He wants them to feel cared about and appreciated, and so he comes to see both from time to time.

Sometimes, it'll even be the three of them hanging out.

Taranza and Susie have both came to really appreciate Kirby as he's been so kind and sweet to them over the years after reconciling with him. In essence, he's been acting like emotional support for them.

Kirby isn't that good at words of encouragement, since he's young, but the hugs and just simply being there for them have gone a long way of being helpful and alleviating for these two tragic friends.

They both act like older siblings to Kirby to an extent. To be fair, all of Kirby's friends feel like some sort of family to him one way or another, but it's helpful for these two as they know that they're not alone.

Of course, they don't just have only Kirby. Taranza and Susie have each other, too. They also have Magolor, as well as other friends. But Kirby is just special. He's everyone's special little buddy, and Taranza and Susie aren't exceptions in having Kirby be their little buddy.

Thankfully, Taranza and Susie have been starting to heal as time goes on. It's been taking time for them to heal, but they're both working on it, and they've become grateful to Kirby as he's their little buddy.

The tragedies in Triple Deluxe and Planet Robobot left a really sad mark on Kirby. He didn't want anymore of these tragedies to happen, and that's what motivated him to put in all the effort necessary to save people. He's proud of himself to have saved Hyness and Leon, and thus the Mage Sisters and the Beast Pack can be happy with the formerly corrupted people that they care about.

He'll also keep doing this in future incidents. He wants to keep saving people. Again, this has increased his status even more as a hero.

Kirby wants the best for everybody. He cares so much.

He'll try his very best to provide the best for everybody.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I made myself emotional when writing this... I'm sorry if it also made you emotional to read it.

[yuutsunaoi-writes]

Kokichi Ouma is just some guy with pale skin, dark purple hair and purple eyes clad in a white-based uniform paired with a checkered white and black scarf. He's just some guy who is quite disliked among the characters in Danganronpa V3. He's also quite disliked by certain parts of the fandom. He's just kinda disliked in general. Even in his forged back story, he was leading a group of misfits that pull harmless pranks - which becomes one of the reason why he's disliked in the eyes of public.

In other words, he's disliked no matter where he went.

Yet, in the midst of it, we could know that he's also loved because of the same misfits that joined his DICE organisation. In the few pictures he took with them, we could see how they all wear the uniforms proudly.

And for them, I'm thankful that Kokichi at least have a few people to lean on - eventhough we all know he's selfless. Selfless in the way that he had sacrificed himself to beat the killing game.

What? You're gonna say he did that just to win and beat the killing game?

Well, isn't beating the killing game what everyone wants? Sure, his ways of doing things are disliked since he lies all the time, but who wouldn't when you have no one you could actually trust? He would want to make sure the mastermind does not catch up to his plans.

Kokichi Ouma, who lies all the time, jokingly worded things to piss people off all the time, has a big fear - fear of being boring. He hated being boring the most, since he hated boredom very much. Just not as much as Junko Enoshima who caused despair just to feel something and make things 'interesting'.

Perhaps it's because he got used to associating pissed and crossed expressions with his harmless questionably-funny pranks since he had been pulling pranks with his organisation (read: found family) for the longest time, he chose to lie and anger people because for him, that is what it means to not be boring. To be 'funny'.

The Ultimate Supreme Leader, although gives off the vibe of being just a pure menace, he is also smart; smart in the way he noticed peculiar things earlier than anyone else. He noted how it's weird to have an Ultimate Robot, when no one else bothered to care. And many other things, did he notice. But because he lies all the time, he didn't even care to share his findings with anyone else. After all, who can anyone exactly trust in a killing game?

Kokichi is careful despite his carefree facade. He went through every possible outcomes before doing anything. We could see this is proven when he just 'happened to know' how to benefit from him dying in the hands of Kaito Momota.

Trapped in a killing game, where he could trust no one, Kokichi relied on him and only himself. He tried approaching Shuichi Saihara, but he knew his efforts would be futile because he had personally engraved into everyone's head that he's a liar and an instigator - someone to not be trusted.

Perhaps, he had known that he would ended up alone all along - especially after Shuichi had implied so in his words when the Ultimate Supreme Leader tried to get in between Shuichi and Kaito.

After facing such rejection, Kokichi strengthened his resolve, and proceeded how he had planned.

Maybe, in his last dying breaths, as he laid down on the hydraulic press, he wondered if things would've been different had he been able to convince Shuichi to help him in his plans to beat the game.

No one would care if I die anyway.

He knew all along though - that he would be by himself even till the end as the hydraulic press descended on him.

In the end, he left while still being misunderstood. Even as he smiled a little bit, closed his eyes, and wished the best for his friends.

And for the person he fell for.

Kokichi Ouma is used to have one-sided feelings anyway.

He told himself that it didn't hurt.

Ah...

If the 10 people who had willingly joined my organization were real...

I wished I could've met them before dying.

[humanmorph]

some more piecemeal pal48 posting. eclectic round 😁

To get it out of the way: terrible. horrible. horrid rolls. I was laughing AND went noooo!!!! out loud when Keith was like "Sorry, uhm, Eclectic dies here." as a reaction likeeee. BOTH times. the SAME dice? god.

I honestly didn't have many thoughts on the Delegate process before the reveal (only questions) (edit: some of which I do still have, like: how were dvines chosen to make elegates out of? Did fidelity choose? Was is a punishment of sorts or pure practicality about who would make the best delegates, whatever that means? I bet this would've been an audio log.) but it extremely tracks it's another Divine. I thought about the Pleroma Hypothesis (I am kind of constantly thinking about it when I think about Palisade. it's there in the back of my head) & how the reaction we got from Divines back in the fleet was mostly to die off to escape that fate. And I was gonna say, what do you do when even that stops being an option (Gumption : ( )? Make others into tools instead of become one yourself (except she also is in that easy a tool of empire). But I'll be real I am SO iffy on Divine Cycle timeline generally and then Palisade specifically to remember if that lines up. Fucked though! It's good! And. You know... I haven't really been too much like "Oh I wish they would've kept going" except I guess broadly I would just have listened to more Palisade. Because it's good. But now, specifically? I am mourning the Resident Evil sortie to the Garden of Fidelity we could've possibly gotten SO much. There could've been audio logs!!!! Thisbe could've been there with Integrity. Partial Palisade could've been there for real. Austin would've described the environment really beautifully. There would've surely been a plant monster to fight. And given it would've been Armour Astir... Could've Eclectic even swung as big as freeing all of the divines? Could there have been a horrible choice to make. ooooohhhh. ooohhhhhh (thinking about it) (sighing)

I also did like Keith being asked what Opposition looks like & he's like well I passed over it twice but fine & goes here's what it does when you look at it and it's an effect that's visually strange and hard to portay. Aphantasia king... (I do really love it btw I am kind of workshopping a drawing in my head, like I wonder if I /could/ portray that effectively? I'd like to try... but it's also getting stuck at the bit where I would have to draw/design the Divine. I didn't even imagine it as person-shaped at all but since Austin asked & Keith went yeah sure I'll go with it... But that's a shape not. Anything else T_T)

I have to say I was kind of crossing my fingers hoping for Eclectic to kill Fidelity somehow. Not that Divines are truly killable nowadays. I don't know. I couldn't tell you why I want this I think it's just because Future is out of reach. If I GET that golden ball

As for outcome I do kind of like the freed Divines just wrecking shit & it's interesting that they're in a way so similar to the Afflictions (don't care who/what they target, so deeply altered from who they were as Divines that they may not care?) but at the same time it is somewhat disappointing because what if they did. Something different. I don't even have a concrete idea because what happens does make sense to me!, it's just a vague feeling I have atm. Since they're on the map & an issue now though, I imagine there'll be more detail on that though. This is part of writing reactions as I'm listening along... this could come up 5 minutes after the point I stopped at... Alas. Similarly: what about Opposition specifically. It reached back when Eclectic was reaching out? If we both pull we can bring this thing down. & a window broke. I'm kind of gnashing my teeth about it like I truly wish So Bad this could've been explored in depth... Like even if it comes up again in the finale, it's just not an arc. And ik we already had an evil lab arc in Palisade (Delegate related, even. Well. That is what they went there for at least) but I just enjoy them. The PZN one is so good too truly horrible moment there when it's laid out what's going on! Haunting!!!! Honestly still gets me when I think about it, it's so good! Anyways. What about Divines who can't move on their own e.g. Righteousness? Did they just carry that briefcase out & take it with them? Because that could be actually very interesting re: August lol. I have to imagine this comes up again later because with the Divines wrecking shit August (left out of the mission on purpose) would've learned about what Eclectic did & probably have opinions about it. I also think this opens up some possibilities for Thisbe aswell, because Janine did say that the Delegates / their Divines were part of her goal ("mend the scattered shards of divinity").

done for now because i need to sleep but btw we still haven't gotten to the bit I accidentally skipped to and got extremely excited at hearing just a snippet of a sentence but the fact that it's probably in Clem's section is kind of worrying me. a lot actually. ooohh she's going to Win her scene I just know it... I am actually looking forward to it though. I mentioned before ever since the Tower game I've just been kind of along for the ride re: Clem and liking it sometimes more sometimes less but rn well. I am intrigued & I hope Art has a good time