#He knows intimately well what the creator can do and did what he could to stop further catastrophe aka suffering

[quirkyfries]

ooo ruin fans up in arms about today’s episode (it’s me. I’m ruin fans)

spoilers for today’s episode (Ruin’s wither shard) in tags

[notjustjavierpena]

Longing

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: This is a collection of !!!!5!!!! asks because y’all are desperate for Javier being a great husband and lover, and I am happy to give you what you crave.

Summary: You make love to your husband the first time after giving birth.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18 smut, husband!javier, domestic life, breastfeeding, f masturbation, showering together, insecurity and nervousness, longing kisses and lots of them, body worship, breast play, lactation kink, javier is HUNGRY, nipple play orgasm, checking in, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, praise kink, fingering, clit stim, unprotected piv sex, emotional and desperate sex, creampie, crying and aftercare, sweet javi is here to make you comfortable and make you come 

Word count: 5.3k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53944708

Longing

Javier gets up early every day for work during your maternity leave and the routine is the same; coffee, breakfast, and a shower, and then he gets Lucas out of his bassinet so he can feel his son’s tiny body against his naked chest before he finally brings him to you because he knows you love bed-sharing with your newborn. It’s so you don’t miss me, he jokes each time after kissing your forehead, knowing that his son might as well be his clone, at least not too much.

You’re nursing Lucas as Javier gets dressed. Today will be the first break in your newfound routine, and you barely know how to begin. Something is playing on your mind and you distract yourself by running three fingers over Lucas’ head as he feeds, hoping it’ll make the words you’re about to say seem less clumsy.

“Javi,” you try to get your husband’s attention.

“Sí, mi amor (yes, my love)?” Javier is standing in front of the mirror, tying his tie. He looks at you through the mirror and smiles gently as he catches Lucas’ tiny hands reaching for your chest. You let the infant grab at your finger instead, warmth in your grin as you bond with him.

“I was thinking we could do something tonight,” you begin and your voice sounds almost absentminded. It feels silly to ask for sex when you think back to how ravenous both of you were before and during the pregnancy. Lucas is nearly two months old. You haven’t been intimate with each other for two months. 

“Do what?” Javier goes back to tying a knot on his ridiculously patterned tie. 

“You know…”

He tenses up, almost looking like when a cat’s ears perk up in interest.

“Is tonight the night?” He asks, catching on. He turns away from the mirror to face you, expectant but careful not to assume. 

“Two months,” you say simply, “I think I’m ready.”

“Two whole months. How the fuck did we manage that?” He snorts. You tut at his foul language but cannot help but smile since you know he is right. It boggles your mind too. 

“We’ll have to take it slow. Would that be okay?” You look down at Lucas as he gurgles slightly, moving him a bit in your arms. 

Javier finishes dressing for the day. He walks across the room and bends down over you, kissing your forehead, “Is it okay that I get to take care of my beautiful wife? I think I’ll suffer through it for you.”

When you tilt your head backward, he also kisses your mouth. You smile against his lips. You say, “I think you’re late for work.”

“And maybe I’ll go home early too,” he pecks your lips repeatedly, “Rush home and into the bedroom.”

“We’ll be waiting here for you,” you let him know. 

Javier runs a finger down over Lucas’ nose, “Your momma better change the batteries in the baby monitor, mijo (my son). We won’t have time to check on you as often.”

“Oh, just go,” you grin.

“Te quiero (I love you).”

“I love you too, now go catch some bad guys.”

Javier gives you one last kiss before he heads out the door, and it’s enough to leave you aching for another. He lingers until your breath is torn from your lungs, slips his tongue inside your mouth until you are reminded of what he can do with it, and his fingers slide through the hair at the back of your head - all he has to do is yank but he doesn’t, not with his baby in your arms.

“More later,” he whispers and your pulse goes south at the promise. 

“O-okay,” you only manage to stutter.

—

When Lucas has been put to sleep, Javier and you take a warm bath together to get you all relaxed. He helps you under the spray, guiding you into the cubicle by the hand, and smiles as you sigh deeply at the warm water. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he praises when you run your fingers through your hair as it wets. You give him a shy grin. He proceeds to kiss your neck, not caring about water running down over his face when his lips on your body make you less tense with nerves. 

You tilt your head back, letting out a sigh as he drinks in your skin, going upwards until it is your mouth he captures. His hands dig into your fuller hips, fingers denting what you call your baby weight and what he tells you he’d fall on his knees for.

“Can I touch you?” He asks when he needs air. 

“I’m nervous,” you answer truthfully. 

Carefully, as if seeking permission, he takes your hand in his own. He kisses your palm softly and you feel a spark of electricity in your belly, knowing that you are lucky that it is him who is here to guide you through this. He moves your hand down between your legs, “Perhaps… these gentle hands.” 

“You want me to touch myself?” You blink.

“Who would be better?” He grins boyishly. 

A part of you wants to say that you think he might know you better than you know yourself but there’s a plan here. You follow through, never breaking eye contact as you find your clit and start going in circular motions. It takes a second but when your body finally reacts, you let out a gasp at the flutter that spreads out from the little nub. 

Javier looks ravenous at having the privilege to witness you like this. He talks quietly over the sound of the water, and soon you feel his cock poke into your thigh, “That’s it, mi amor (my love). God, look at you. Doing so good.” 

“Javi,” you sigh gently. Your fingers speed up, feeling your heartbeat slowly increasing in speed. You chase your high, mouth slightly open and eyes locked on Javier’s.

“Yeah? You’re gonna make yourself come?” Javier’s hands find your hips again. He holds them in place, joins in the way that he can. You nod with a higher-pitched yeah, eyes falling closed during a louder moan.

Your fingers are more frantic after that. You touch yourself with him looming over you, core burning with need as you can feel his eyes bore into you. Your clit jumps occasionally as you work yourself toward the edge and a crease in your forehead forms. 

“I’m gonna— fuck,” you announce. The sound of water cascading down your body blurs until it becomes almost silent to your ears.

“Yes, you are,” his voice has dropped an octave, “Oh, you really are, aren’t you?”

And then you snap and the fact that it isn’t in privacy and that you have Javier swearing under his breath makes it feel incredible. You can feel your cunt clench from clit to slit repeatedly, seeking more than you can give at the moment but oh, it feels so good. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted your husband inside of you more, walls aching to be stretched.

Time stands still in the shower. You find yourself resting against the cold, tiled wall. Javier looks at you, has pushed his wet hair out of his face, and is smiling triumphantly, “Mi esposa hermosa (my gorgeous wife).”

You roll your eyes, cheeks heating up from both post-orgasmic bliss and sudden shyness, “It felt good. I don’t think you know how wet I am for you.”

“Well you are in the shower,” he jokes when he spots your restraint, hoping to get you to relax even further, and you step forward to punch him playfully. He shies away, laughing to the point where your head swims with love and tenderness for him. 

It ends up being an occasion to kiss once more. Javier holds your face, thumb smoothing over your chin as he slides his mouth over yours. You melt into him, holding onto both of his wrists as you suck on his tongue and it doesn’t bother you that you accidentally swallow a few droplets of water; his lips on yours make everything else fade. 

He has rarely kissed and touched you like this over the past few months, having agreed with himself to not tempt you too much with something that neither of you would have been able to follow through on, so the promise behind his touch - his hands are going down to your hips and your arms are linking together around his neck - makes you shiver as goosebumps rise on your skin underneath the hot spray of water. 

Eventually, you realize how hard he is and you almost feel bad for being so selfish but when you reach down, Javier stops you. 

“I can wait,” he promises, breaking the kiss to look down between your bodies. He twitches in your hand, even more when you reluctantly let go. 

“Javi,” you whine.

“I don’t want it to be over already,” he explains with color on his cheeks, “Think about how much we’ll enjoy it later. I’m sorry, mi amor (my love).”

“No, I understand,” you reply with a soft sigh, “I’ll make it up to you later.”

“Mhm, bet you will,” he hums and then drags you close to kiss you again.

You agree on finishing the shower and getting into your sleep clothes because Javier argues that it might help with your nerves to be undressed by him, a thing you absolutely love. You settle for a loose t-shirt - in case you have to nurse - and panties, something comfortable with an ability to leave the covered parts of your body up to the imagination.

Earlier, before checking on Lucas, you took painkillers to let your muscles relax even further. Now that they are working, you meet him in bed. He smiles at you as he sees you enter through the door and watches you come closer as he is sitting with one leg dangling from the side of your shared bed.

“Hey,” you say shyly.

“Come here,” he smiles.

You may have relaxed muscles but your heartbeat races in your chest, feeling like you might have butterflies trapped behind your ribs. Your body is humming as you crawl onto the bed, sitting on your knees in front of him. 

“You still want to do this?” He asks, taking one of your wrists in his hands. He rubs it with his thumb, giving you his usual concerned expression that could compete with that of a puppy. 

“Yes,” you confirm, leaning forward to initiate a kiss. 

He catches on quickly and meets you halfway. He tastes like toothpaste, kissing you softly at first before he grows hungry from having denied himself during the first touches in the shower. 

You sling your arms around him, just about to be bold enough to straddle him but he is quicker, and suddenly flips you around until your back hits the mattress and makes you bounce slightly. You respond with a half-yelp, half-giggle, and try to ignore any anxiety that might arise. 

However, any noise quickly dies in your throat because Javier moves on top of you. He moves close until you can get drunk on his scent, inhale the distinct smell of only him that gets you so high because you know it’s only you who gets to be so close to it. You can feel your heartbeat in your sex, your underwear starting to dampen. 

“You know I struggle to be gentle,” he rasps against your ear, placing a lingering kiss right below it to make your heartbeat spike. His hands curl around the bottom of your t-shirt. He pulls back to look at what he is doing to you and for a moment, you think he might rip the fabric apart from the way his nails dig into it, the same urgency in his eyes like someone who has gone without food and drink for weeks and is now looking at a whole buffet, “When it’s been so long since I have had you like this.”

You hum in understanding, mouth slightly open and squeezing your legs together with a sigh, causing Javier to look down between your legs. He looks like someone who is making a plan, a list of steps forward about what he wants to do to you. You can only wait in anticipation.

Your top comes off then. He yanks it upwards and you lift your arms above your head to help him rid you of it completely. Your tits bounce slightly as there is nothing to hold them anymore, and Javier groans at the sight of you. He practically latches onto your neck, sucking his way down your throat until he has made a trail of glistening spit down over your shoulder, your collarbone, and finally down between your breasts. It’s nice but it’s a lot.

“Stop,” you say to him as he seems lost in the moment. You rest your hands on the back of his neck, threading your fingers through the soft curls there. He lifts his head to look at you, and you smile gently. Your face feels hot, “I need you to go slow… Sorry, I’m not ruining it, am I? I just told you to stop…”

“What? No. No, mi amor (my love),” he reassures but even if his kisses have made you wet, you feel overwhelmed with the idea that things might not be the same ever again. You shift slightly underneath him, and he presses a soft kiss to your collarbone whilst watching your expression in case it’s still uncomfortable for you. 

“I think it might take a while for me to be ready tonight, I can’t just jump back in,” you swallow after confessing it but Javier nods in understanding. 

“That’s okay, baby. It’s only been two months,” he crawls up to hover over you, abandoning whatever he was doing even if he was enjoying it, and you still rest your hands on the back of his neck. 

“I mean you’re so,” you decide to feed his ego to make your reluctance up to him even if it’s not necessary, “… Big.”

Javier snorts. He seems to find it more funny than flattering, “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” you giggle, “Biggest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Listen,” he turns serious, resting on one of his forearms to reach for your hand on the back of his head. He pulls it down so he can hold your hand in his. He entwines your fingers, “Do you want to stop? I won’t get angry at you.”

“And not even try?” You avoid his gaze.

“Hey, mírame (look at me),” he replies and you do, “If that’s what you want. No matter what you say, we made progress tonight.”

“I masturbated in the shower,” you deadpan. 

Javier laughs but he kisses your lips a few times, “And it was fucking sexy. I’ll be satisfied with just watching that for the rest of my life if I had to, but I do like the thought of Lucas not being an only child.”

“Slow down, Peña,” you teasingly scold him, feeling your anxiety fade as he makes you laugh and thus relax, “You just got your first baby. I am not a factory.”

“What are you then?” He wiggles his brows.

“Your wife,” you say with a grin. 

“Oh, right, that’s right,” he moves to kiss your neck again and you find that you let him. He moves slower than before, trailing his lips across your throat from one shoulder to the other. He takes his time and doesn’t rush the way that he probably would like to, “That’s right, you’re my wife.” 

“Husband,” you moan softly and feel him smile against your skin. He goes further down and goosebumps rise on your skin when the flat of his tongue licks around one of your nipples. You push your chest out, needing more because it starts a fire in your belly. To think that he hadn’t even gotten this far just moments ago. 

“You like that?” He asks, pressing a kiss to the side of your right breast. He looks up at you through his lashes before he licks the little nub again, it has hardened into a peak. The nerves are so sensitive there now that you are breastfeeding, and you hadn’t even given it a second thought that it could be something to enjoy with him. 

“Yeah,” you sigh and stare down at the top of his head. He moves to bend your legs, spreading them apart so he can lie down between them and kiss your tits. 

“I can’t wait to see how wet this’ll get you, baby,” he murmurs as he concentrates. He starts with the right side, letting his mouth fall open until he can press a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your nipple and suck just a little as he pulls back. He does it again. You curl your toes and whine. 

“Oh,” you are panting already from the connection it appears to have with your cunt, “Keep going.”

Javier doesn’t hesitate. He skims his hand up and down your side until he dares cup your breast, looking up at you for confirmation that you aren’t uncomfortable. You bite your lip and nod. 

Your husband applies the gentlest amount of pressure. He doesn’t remove his hand again, keeping your breast in his palm as he takes your nipple between his lips once more. However, this time he sucks without pulling away, and much to your surprise, as he massages you too, you feel a few drops of milk slip into his mouth. 

“Javi!” You say in a horrified voice, starting to squirm, “I’m so sorry. Oh my God, ohmygodohmygodohmy—“

But Javier only seems to be spurred on by this. In fact, he starts to coax out more milk to satisfy the hunger that he didn’t even know he had in him. You hear him mumbling something, telling you not to worry about it. He sucks, laps, and catches each drop that escapes his mouth and streaks your beautiful chest whilst your eyes roll back and your clit throbs. 

Your hands find his hair. You tug without making him pull away from you, and pressure builds as his skilled tongue moves in circles around your now-puffy nipple. He takes the peak between his lips again and again, the sound of wet kisses towards skin filling the room, and he drinks like he is parched. 

Eventually, you feel too tender to go on and something inside of you fears that you might actually come from this even if it seems ridiculous to be terrified of that happening. You don’t think you have ever had breasts this sensitive in your life, and whilst it has been nice for you to have Javier pay attention to your chest, this is new territory and it’s overwhelming above all else. 

The grip you have on his hair intensifies, “Baby. Can you switch? I’m getting sore.”

“Of course,” he draws back slowly and gently noses along your spit-slicked nipple and presses one last soft kiss. You twitch underneath the touch. 

“Javi,” you stress. 

But he follows through and switches over to the left. The sensation of him using his tongue on you here as well is exquisite, eliciting a string of higher and higher moans from your throat. 

God, he knows what he is doing with his mouth and soon wetness has started to smear your inner thighs after seeping through your underwear. You know Javier will lose his mind when he sees it.

Though right now, he is busy as his tongue flicks repeatedly across the hardened nub. Milk trails down your stomach at first and then suddenly squirts when he pinches your right nipple without warning. 

“Oh!” You gasp and feel your pulse getting stronger between your legs. You lift your head, “Jesus. This is—“

“The hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” he interrupts you as if he knows you are going to degrade yourself in some way. You were in fact going to call it messy. He kisses your breast open-mouthed again, sucking your nipple into his mouth until you give in to a moan, “¡Dios mío (my God)! You taste like candy. Sweetest fuckin’ thing ever.”

“You need to—“ you can barely speak as his tongue curls around your hardened peak. He flicks his tongue back and forth over it afterward.

“Yes?” He stops to let you talk and nibbles right at the roundness of your breast. 

“I can’t do this anymore, we gotta do something else or I’ll come,” you don’t even hear how absurd it is to make it sound like a problem. Below you, Javier nearly chokes at hearing that.

“Jesus, how devastating that would be,” he says sarcastically. With a quick glance up at you, he decides to keep going to which you do not protest. He lavishes you with nips and sucks, building something low in your belly, “Then come, mi vida (my life).”

You try to catch your breath as your cunt pulses but suddenly an orgasm crashes over you and makes you lose it altogether. There’s milk everywhere. You cry for him after a moment of not being able to make a sound, hands falling to the sides so you don’t end up pulling strands of hair from his scalp. Your back arches, your throat scratches from the noise you make, and below you, Javier watches with absolute wonder.

“Are you okay?” He eventually asks, sitting up a little to follow your wishes if you should have any. When you don’t respond, too busy panting, he starts rubbing your thighs soothingly until you come back to him. 

“That’s never happened before,” you say, “I didn’t think…”

“Was it good?” He watches you with a tiny smirk.

You nod.

“Do you want more?” He continues. 

You don’t hesitate despite the circumstances. Twenty minutes ago, you would have doubted even being kissed. You nod.

“And what does my baby want?” He looks down between your legs. When you don’t reply, he starts suggesting things, “Want me to play with your perfect pussy? We can stop anytime you want.”

You whimper instead of using actual words. It’s now that you realize the pressure inside of you telling you how much you need to feel him inside of you, and you’ll take it any way you can. Perhaps it’ll be easier to start out this way. 

“Yeah?” He sounds almost a bit mocking, moving to stand on his knees between your spread legs, “That what my girl wants?”

“Yeah,” you reply breathlessly.

Javier swears quietly as he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down and watching the fabric cling to your wet seam. He inhales deeply as if to compose and behave himself, looking starved for more even as he already has a streak of white milk on his chin, “You are so goddamn wet for me, baby. She’s weeping, the poor thing.”

“Imagine how many men would worship the shape of your body,” he praises as soon as he has you naked below him, eyes glazed over by lust. He looks at you as if it’s the first time he has ever seen you, pupils dilated and mouth slightly open. You feel like a deer in the headlights of a car but you don’t dare interrupt him, don’t dare disturb the flow of words falling from his lips because they make your whole body burn with need instead of insecurity.

“I can’t believe that I was the one who got to make you my wife,” he tells you with a smile that shows you how pleased he is with himself as if it’s his greatest achievement - fuck everything else; the job, the money, the fame. He skims a hand over your belly before leaning down to kiss below your belly button, causing your muscles to jump underneath his warm mouth when he licks you clean of milk. Then his palm descends on your body, “Mhm, gonna show you how grateful I am. Stuff you full of my fingers.”

“Please,” you whine, jaw clenching as he slips a finger inside of you and tiny shivers seem unable to stop rolling over you. He straightens again to look at you for reassurance that everything is okay. You give him no reason to doubt.

After a few moments, he adds a second finger. He curls them upwards until he finds the little spot inside of you that makes you sing, and your hands grab at the sheets when he makes a come-hither motion over and over again.

“Javi,” you breathe desperately. 

“Yes?” He doesn’t halt, only slows down slightly to concentrate on what you are going to ask of him. The look in his eye tells you that he’ll give you anything. 

“I love you,” you moan towards the ceiling instead. The wet squelches of your cunt are obscene to listen to, bouncing off the walls along with your continuous gasping for air as he makes you unable to breathe properly. 

“I know, baby, I know. I love you too,” he grinds the heel of his hand down against your mound, reminding you briefly of how he made love to you the first time ever. He rubs your clit on the outside and works the pads of his fingers over your g-spot on the inside. Fast. The world fades away around you until you suddenly find yourself coming again, Javier’s eyes widening at how quickly you have gotten there once more, “Christ, baby. You are just insatiable tonight. Has it been too long?”

“I want you,” you completely ignore the question. You shake through your high, not even planning on begging but it’s almost too much not to have him fuck you, “I can— ah, I can take your cock. I can. Please. I need you inside of me.” 

Javier growls. He shoves his underwear down, moving on the bed for a moment until he is completely naked. You reach for him with newfound confidence, and he enters your embrace and slides both arms underneath you to hug you back. The kiss he gives you is so longing that you almost want to cry from all the emotion it exudes. He loves you so much. He would never do anything to hurt you. It is so clear at that moment. 

“Make love to me,” you moan into his mouth, thumbs drawing down the sides of his face until you can move your hands to the nape of his neck. He is warm against your chest, the curls at the back of his neck slightly damp from sharing your body heat for so long.

It takes a mere few seconds for him to reach down between your bodies. You make a little gasp as he pushes into you. He is slow in his movements, almost making it seem like he isn’t moving his hips forward at all, and he keeps his eyes on yours to make sure your face’s contortion isn’t because of pain. 

You grab at the pillowcase, clutching it into your grip as he fills you up. Your breathing is loud and hard, your eyes a little wider than usual. There’s a little resistance but you try to relax into it, accept his cock even if it’s with trembles of your body.

“This okay?” He asks with a voice that is marked by his own restraint. 

You nod repeatedly. You want to punch the bed. Instead, you reach to grab his bicep and hold on for dear life as he gets deep inside of you. You aren’t sure if you have overdone it by coming two times already because you are so sensitive, your walls fluttering around his length but oh, you want him so badly that you take it with your eyes rolling back into your skull.

After a few very long moments, he is fully inside of you. His chest rises and falls quickly, breathing strained because of how much he has missed being engulfed by your heat. You hold onto his arms which flex underneath your touch, and then he moves inside of you for the first time in two months. 

The cry that releases from your throat makes your voice break and Javier’s groan follows right after. You become a sweaty mess of limbs, clutching at each other as if you can’t get close enough. You pant his name, kiss him deeply, and dig your fingers into his skin hard enough to bruise.

“I’ve missed you,” you tell him through whimpers.

“You’re perfect, mi amor (my love),” he replies in a gruff voice, “I love to fuck you.”

Javier cannot help his mouth when you make him feel like this. He thrusts harder into you, moving his weight to his forearm so he can slide his free hand under you to press it against the small of your back. He lifts your pelvis into his own, arching you until no one would be able to tell where he starts and you finish. 

Then he speeds up his hips and you see stars. You throw both arms around him, holding onto your wrist to keep them there. He drives into you with determination to make you scream, and as you do, you try to imagine how beautiful his golden back is glistening with sweat. 

“Fucking love making you come,” he continues, planting a kiss on your jaw that was probably supposed to be on your mouth, “Over and over and over. Are you gonna come for me?”

“Yes, yes, God, yes, baby,” you can feel his pubic bone grinding into your clit, building your peak quickly, “Keep going— don’t, oh my God, don’t stop!”

“Wouldn’t dream— fuck, I wouldn’t dream of it, my love,” he sounds close to, giving you everything he has to make you tip over the edge a third time. He always tells you how much he loves you choking his cock until he spills inside of you.

So when you come, a hitched breath turning into a series of cries for God, he does too. It is two months of built-up tension and emotions, and you find yourself crying in his arms as waves of pleasure take hold of you and take you with them. You are gone, lost to the world of burning desire and ecstasy. 

After he pulls out of you, the sense of time is an unknown concept in the silence that follows. You cry quietly because nothing else can convey what you feel. After all, you feel so close to him again. Javier brushes each tear away with his thumb, murmuring soft and comforting words. 

“You did so good,” are the first words that actually make sense to you. He noses along your shoulder to kiss you there, “I don’t deserve you. You are the most beautiful woman in this world.”

You chuckle breathlessly but fresh tears just fall down your cheeks. Javier rolls off of you to make things less intense, looking at you from where he is lying on his side, “Don’t cry. There’s nothing to cry about. You were so beautiful.” 

“Sorry,” you say instantly and wipe tears away with the back of your hands. 

“No,” he objects, “That’s not what I meant.”

He is silent for a moment. Then he lays his palm on your stomach, “What do you need?”

“To pee and get cleaned up,” you feel embarrassed without knowing why, “My legs feel like jelly.”

“Fuck it, let’s see if mine do too,” he is on his feet before you can protest, telling you to scoot closer and when you do, he picks you up bridal style. 

He carries you to the bathroom, making a comment about your wedding night, and then lets you pee and wipes you down with a damp cloth afterward, both your sensitive cunt and breasts. You kiss him more times than you can count when he takes you back to bed again. 

In the morning, you watch him bounce Lucas in his arms when he thinks you are asleep. He is making funny faces and blowing raspberries on your son’s chubby cheeks, talking so gently that you can’t help but simply roll onto your other side, smile gently to yourself, and fall back into slumber.

.

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[alphajocklover]

So I just finished my 3rd year exams at university (hopefully I did well enough to make it into a 4th year and go for an Master's of science) and as soon as I get out near the crowd to celebrate a guy bumps into me and I broke my phone. I was ready to give him a piece of my mind until I saw he was pretty built, he must be on some university team for something. He felt awful apparently and he gave me his old phone as an apology. It came with this InstaJock app thing on it. I dunno what it is but I kinda wanna load it up...

Another instance of a jock giving someone a phone with InstaJock already downloaded on it. Another instance of someone doing something with InstaJock that doesn’t make any sense. I know it’s unprofessional to say something like this, but this is driving me crazy. Why would a jock give away their phone? If they wanted to turn you into a jock like them, they’d just send you the app! If they wanted to give you a new phone for real, they’d have wiped it before giving it to you. I guess it's possible they forgot, but InstaJock is super important to the users that get transformed into jocks. Even with how stupid jocks can be, I doubt they’d forget about the app that literally changed their life. So… why?

I’ve mentioned in some of my earlier Instajock posts that someone has been messing with people using this app. Using it in unconventional ways to mess with people, spreading false information about the app, and even making knock offs of the transformative app. My first thought was that it had to be The Master. Not the Doctor Who villain, to those who get that reference, but someone I introduced to you all in a recent post. He’s the creator of Instajock and the mastermind behind my Uncle’s transformation and kidnapping. He’s an incredibly powerful figure in the Transformation Community, even more than I’ve told you. Most people who know about transformations are scared to mention him, even other TF Reporters are, and most powerful people or groups who work with transformation either do business with him or stay out of his way. But… I don’t think he’s the one behind this. He likes to mess with people, play with his victims like whoever is behind this, but if he wanted to do that he could just add features to the actual InstaJock app. He had no reason to do things in such a roundabout way. Which makes me think… it’s someone else.

Whoever is doing this has an intimate knowledge of the app, so It has to be someone involved with InstaJock, someone besides The Master. Maybe someone who works for him? Even he couldn’t have programmed the entire app on his own and added in the magical elements without help. Plus he isn’t one for upkeep, so he’s probably having someone else run the site for him. They also have to be someone with a lot of nerve to mess with The Master, maybe someone who they’ve hurt personally. On top of all of that it’d also have to be someone the jocks would listen to. Maybe someone who worked on InstaJock that The Master fired, a former employee?

I can’t be sure of who's behind this yet, but I do know that whatever they’re trying to do with you isn’t good. When you press that app, you won’t just be turned into a jock like a regular InstaJock user. It has to be something… special. Something that would benefit, or would at least interest the person behind this. Maybe you’ll turn into a copy of the jock who gave you the phone, become their perfect twin? Maybe something else will happen entirely. I can’t be sure.

If it’s not too late, send me the phone immediately. I can put it somewhere safe, and I might be able to protect you from whoever's doing this. If it is too late… Well I hope you enjoy whatever happened. Being transformed against your will sucks, but being a jock can be fun, even if it isn’t your choice.

**3 stories in one day, all InstaJock? I must be on a roll! I hope you guys liked this one! There are still more mysteries and more transformations to discover! Stay tuned!**

[invye]

I feel like at this point I need to extend a formal apology to Benn for making him suffer the CoraMiShanks antics. Because for some reason they are all more likely to talk to him about their feelings than to each other.

Corazón, enchanted as he watches Shanks and Mihawk duel: "Wow, they don't do anything halfway, do they? I could never keep up with that, they're so good--" turns to Benn "Alright, they clearly belong together, I'll help you play wingman, what's the plan? Is there a plan? Don't worry, I'll come up with something!" And Benn has to sit there in silence because he can't tell Rosinante that he doesn't need to play anything and already got both the captain and Hawkeyes wrapped around his little finger because previously:

Shanks, in the middle of his hour long I-am-in-love-with-everything-about-Mihawk-but-I-can't-ever-do-anything-that-would-risk-what-we-have rant that Benn already learned by heart years ago: "Also, did you see Rosinante being cute? He's so protective of his kid, it's so inspiring how he's willing to go to the end of the world for Law, especially when he doesn't have the kind of power we do, but he's so creative and smart with his ability he balances it right back out; anyway, Hawkeyes […]" And Benn was sitting there like: 'wait wait wait hold up a second, what just happened---' but had to stay silent because he can't tell Shanks that previously:

Mihawk, slamming a bottle of Expensive™ wine on to the table Benn is sitting at: "I think I'm in love with two different people, is that even possible, or acceptable?? Also I'm kinda involved with both of them in two very distinctively different ways that are both highly intimate to me, but neither of them think it's the real deal, help--" (Obviously Mihawk used more dignified words, but Benn has gotten quite good at translating Hawkeyes and his sanity needs to unstiff the Hawkeyes-speech to be able to get into this, alright?) And Benn had to drink half the bottle (very good wine, Mihawk knows how to pick them) before he was able to gather himself enough to explain open relationships and polyamory to Hawkeyes of all people, but then he also had to point out that all of those require direct and open communication and it ended in a very stiff silence during which Benn refused to break eye contact with Mihawk, both of them very much aware that if there's one thing Mihawk struggles with it's communication and even more so when he's the one who has to initiate it.

All to say: Benn is suffering in stubborn loyal silence, because he won't break the trust expressed to him as a confidant. He would never ever betray Shanks' trust, he's been listening to his love sick rambling about Hawkeyes for years now and he hasn't gotten involved, he damn well won't change that just because captain has added another guy to the list. Rosinante is obviously marked by not having had trusted people to confide in pretty much all his life, and Benn will not be yet another person to disappoint him. And well, if he meddles in any of Mihawk's business by using insider information he can just as well slice his own throat.

But he's still suffering, watching them dance around each other in an seemingly eternal stalemate. And here he thought he'd only have to handle one idiot…

As the creator of your torment, I want to formally apologise for your suffering, Benn. I'm afraid it will happen again.

[firesnap]

this might sounds stupid, but i guess its one of the ways im trying to handle the situation.

i dont want to support W, i don't want it to affect me so badly, and i also don't want to try and make myelf more comfortable and do nothing

but at the same time, the music he and the band have made mean So Much to me. they helped me get thoughts lines up that were jumbled in my head, they made me feel heard and seen and like i wasnt alone. and the community that came with it, the creativity, the joy. it hurts that that stuff is tainted now

what would you reccomend in the area of continuing/discontinuing to listen to their music? like i said, i feel so guilty that im even asking this, but it still means so much to me, more than i wish it did

i hope everyone going through this too is doing alright, we'll be okay

There's two camps on this -- that once the music is out in the world it's the worlds. You divorce it from the artist and you do with it what you like.

The other is that the artist is tied to the music regardless and that listening to it is a tacit acceptance of the behaviors of the creator.

I think the answer is somewhere in the middle, because I don't think we should financially support the band anymore (and I say this as someone who has given them. a lot. of money), but I do agree that once a song is in the world it is no longer the artist's. People talk about death of the author with stories, but I think that applies to songwriters tenfold more than stories. Lyrics are often vague pieces of poetry and music itself doesn't have an agenda..

Some of my best friends absolutely love The Beatles. John Lennon was a pretty horrible guy. I don't think everything John Lennon touched is ruined. Same with. Well. So many musicians. A ton of 80's bands, David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, The 1979, The Beach Boys, Oasis... I could go on and on.

Personally, I don't think I can ever hear a song from MSR ever again. It already bordered far too intimate and revealing his relationship with Shelby and now, knowing what we know, I just can't do it.

The band's songs. I mean, what can we do. I heard one of their songs on the radio yesterday. I don't see myself going back to listening to them even casually, but I think as long as you aren't financially supporting them it's no different than having 100's other musicians on a playlist that have done bad things.

Give yourself a break for now though. Take a break from it and clear your head and see if, with some distance, it's even still something you want to hear. You'd be surprised how with some distance you realize that you're clinging more to memories than the songs.

And if you find that's not the case, it's songs. You download them on your phone and they're not his anymore.

[gildedlavender]

Ok, so here are my very long winded thoughts about OBX part 2. This might be a lot, but I’m not only heartbroken but extremely angry. First, fuck the Pates/Shannon. Finding out that the creators of your favorite show not only hate JJ and Kiara, but also their fans is awful. Having the nerve to sit there and say all that bullshit to try and justify killing JJ? If Rudy wanted to leave, which it’s sounding like that, they gave JJ the worst end possible and tried to ruin his character just to spite him, which is pretty evil. They could’ve written him off any other way with an easier possibility to come back next season. Not to mention them talking about possibly making Riara a thing?! Excuse me?! Kiara would never be with anyone else in the last season, let alone him. I swear to god if they try to pull that shit, Madison better raise hell on that set, because no one hates Riara more than her.

The disrespect to not only JJ but Kiara as well just baffles me. They made Kiara lose her soulmate and now she’ll be the only one who’s alone and miserable. JJ going through hell the whole second half of the season only to have no character development, his friends not be there for him or seem to care about what he’s going through, then die and barely have anyone except Kiara react?! He was abused his whole life, only for his real father to kill him. What kind of an ending for a beloved character is that? JJ literally died for no reason. He’d given Chandler what he wanted already. Having him still die afterwards was just cruel and unnecessary. Not to mention, his death felt weird and rushed. First, instead of running away after giving Chandler the crown, they just stand hugging in his vicinity, then when JJ gets stabbed, Kiara just stands there and doesn’t intervene until he’s done getting stabbed? Then, you expect me to believe he died that quickly afterwards, when Sarah got shot and they had time to drive her all that way before she “died” and came back to life? Rudy gave a good performance, and Madison gave a pretty good one, but I needed more from her in that scene. Everyone else’s reactions were off as well. Why was nobody trying to get him to a hospital, put pressure on his wound, or do CPR? Why wasn’t everyone sobbing and doing everything they could to keep him alive? Then they just buried him in the sand in Morocco?! That made me sick. They can’t even visit his grave. It’s so disrespectful.

Not to mention, Jiara just got together at the end of last season, then the first season we see them as an actual couple, he fucking dies and they’re over, and to make it worse, we barely got any Jiara scenes in Part 2. It literally feels like we never even got to see them as an actual couple. One bad angled kiss scene in 10 episodes is preposterous. If Rudy actually asked for less Jiara intimate scenes, the Pates should’ve shut that shit down immediately and made him do his job. I don’t know why he’d suddenly have an issue though since he didn’t seem to have one in season 3, or Part 1. And Madison’s acting in part 2 during most Jiara scenes, except the last episode, were really emotionless. Even if she was mad at Rudy, she shouldn’t have let that affect her performance. How can both of them be so unprofessional?

The Pates basically said all the couples were endgame. Now you’re telling me, that after everything, everyone gets a happy ending but Kiara and JJ? How would anyone want that for a fan favorite couple? Genuinely why did they even bother making Jiara a thing if this is how they were going to end. What was the point?

Next, a big fuck you to Rudy and Madison for going through that whole press tour giving us hope like that about Jiara. Talking about them being endgame, JJ having great character development, and Rudy acting excited about another season. Literally none of what they said was true. I genuinely don’t know how anyone allowed this to happen. If Rudy wanted to leave so bad, why did he always say he loved playing JJ? He couldn’t suck it up for one more season, seriously? I don’t know what happened between part 1 and 2, but they felt like two completely different seasons. How was he ok with that being JJ’s ending? And the Pates have to be the dumbest people on earth to throw away almost their entire fan base like that. This isn’t some high brow drama where killing main characters is expected. This is a fun teen summer show about treasure hunting. The only way they can make this right is to use the crown to bring JJ back. I would have to think by now, they’re realizing what a horrible mistake they’ve made and that they’re going to be in a lot of trouble for season 5. I’m praying that they can convince Rudy to come back for at least one episode to give him and Jiara a happy ending. I don’t care what they have to do. This was one of the best teen dramas out there and it brought me so much joy. Now I can’t even stomach rewatching it. I’ve never seen a show destroy itself so completely so quickly. Regardless, JJ will always be one of my favorite characters and Jiara one of my favorite ships. They deserved so much better.

[braceletofteeth]

hello~ thank you for answering my question about the significance of sunflowers in relation to KluenDao! i had picked up on Kluen associating sunflowers with Dao because of the art assignments -which is an adorable detail and one i love about their shared history - but my confusion stems from why the showmakers, writers, and producers chose to make it sunflowers as opposed to some other symbol.

like they could've gone with a moon motif because it would've tied Dao (star/celestial body) and Kluen (waves/tides) very neatly, for example.

although i do still think the sunflower motif work because Dao has such a happy/sweetly bright disposition and personality (sun/sunshine) and the way Kluen looks at and orients himself towards Dao is very like a sunflower would. *u*

but anyway, yes, thank you for replying in the tags anyway!! i love reading about everyone's understanding and interpretation of the meaning of symbols and reasons behind character choices in shows. and SIMM is such a lovely series so i'm glad there's still people who care about it/have things to say about it! <3

Hi again!! 😊👋 I'm so happy we get to talk about this with each other. I also got to the fandom at a time when the series had already finished airing, so there were not many people around still interested/willing to discuss it on my turn either.

I like the interpretation of the sun/sunflower representing one of them. I didn't find the right space to mention it in the tags, but I have a side theory that, back in high school, Dao might have used the sunflower to represent himself...? Because of the way he would follow Khabkluen around, like he was his sun? He didn't know that Khabkluen did the same thing, so, naturally, he always thought of their relationship as one-sided—like a sunflower that is attracted to the sun, but is inconsequential to the sun in return.

I don't know why the creators chose a sunflower especifically—although I do like to think it's beacause of Dao's lively personality—, but I believe I can at least answer why they did not go for a moon motif, nor used a(nother) celestial being for symbolism.

That would be, I assume, because of his actual name: the North Star. Daonuea is already represented by one celestial being; two would feel like the creator is trying to relate him to too many different celestial beings at the same time. A moon and a star, despite being placed in the same category, are not that similar when it comes to what they represent/are usually used as a metaphor for. I do think a moon would have been a better counterpart to Kluen's waves/tides, but when the author chooses a star for a name, they have to stick to the star motif, no matter how perfect that moon/tides parallel would be.

And Dao and Kluen do have the star thing going on between them. Just from the top of my head: there is the shirt that Khabkluen paints for Dao, with a big star in it, and Dao pointing himself as the North Star that never changes its spot (will remain by Kluen's side; with unchanging feelings) in the last episode. And Kluen does call him “star”, which only a few selected people are allowed to, while everyone else has to call him Daonuea, or Nuea, for a nickname...

But the thing is—that's still his name. Well, part of his name, anyways, but the point is—anyone could make that association. The people making the association and using the word might be special to Dao, but the word itself—and what it symbolizes—is not particular at all.

I think the creators wanted to include something more subtle, more personal. More intimate. Something that is only for the two of them.

Daonuea is the North Star for the world; Dao is a star for his special ones; but he's Kluen's sunflower.

One of my favorites moments of them is this little bit from one of the Sky in Your Heart extras, in which Kluen calls Dao “Kluen's sunflower” when he brings Dao a birthday cake and is just the two of them. I think this moment is the best to demonstrate the distinction I'm making here. Because imagine if, instead of just them, it was a room full of people, friends and family, all gathered together to wish Daonuea a happy birthday. If they all exclaimed, for example, “Happy birthday, our star!”, that wouldn't be weird. Because Dao is known as (a/the) star by everyone; it comes with the name. But if instead they said, “Happy birthday, our sunflower!”, that wouldn't make sense. That's an exclusive reference, used by Kluen as a term of endearment, and that only has significance because and when it's from Kluen to Dao.

Even if others wanted to refer to Dao as such, they wouldn't be able to say “sunflower” only. They would have to say “Kluen's sunflower” (like his friend on episode 7, when he says “Here comes your sunflower”). That's how entangled and restrictive it is, thanks to its history.

I can't tell you why they chose this flower to represent Daonuea. All I know is that, if the creators had made the thing that Kluen associates with Daonuea related to the same thing that everybody else associates with him (stars/space), it might not have hit as hard as it did being related to something that only truly impacted the lives of the two of them.

Anyways. I might not be making much sense. Still, I hope I've provided at least one or half of a reasonable explanation for your doubt 😊

Welcome to the fandom 💛����

[rriavian]

According to your universe, which feeling Corinthian feels most towards Dream? Is it Desire or devotion or anything else?

And which feeling Dream feels most towards Corinthian? Is it affection? Or Desire? Or possessiveness or something else?

It is not necessary to mention one answer only. You may write a paragraph on what range of feelings they have for each other

Jessamy, my dearest—you have been incredibly patient thank you so much for this question! I’ve been thinking about this for weeks (it’s been sat in my drafts since before I went on holiday) but spent a while trying to get the wording right. I hope you enjoy my answer <3

I do think it’s love! Just perhaps not a human love.

The Baiting the Trap ‘verse works on the premise that after hundreds of years of sexual tension the Corinthian finally gets the chance to act on it as well as his anger at his creator. He was pretty certain Dream was going to destroy him afterwards so decided to just go for it. He’d been cool and collected for far too long and the lid was not going back on that box now it’s open. Dream is no less interested (he did initiate after all) but though far more unhinged when it comes to love/jealousy his sexual desire is a bit more chill. Idk, maybe it’s because I’m ace but I see him as being like ‘eh, depends on the sex so you better make it good’ when it comes to taking someone to bed.

It’s the devotion in observable/tangible actions that I think reels him in, that I think is the real lure, the single minded focus of another all for him is something Dream doesn’t bother trying to resist. He'll never see it as a weakness either. I think it stems partly from a unmet need to feel entirely accepted, entirely wanted, when so often there are parts of him that others find too extreme.

Too sharp.

So Baiting the Trap is still only just entering the second ‘arc’ which means there’s a lot more to some but…

The antagonism, the extremes, the spectrum of morality and the acceptance/competition of each other’s sharpness…it’s always going to be a large part of their relationship. Though I would add that I think the Corinthian’s greedy possession is a grounding force, which I’ve mostly implied up to this point but there will be some more explicit confirmations coming up in the series. Dream likes how fiercely he’s claimed, how intent his nightmare is on knowing him. Yeah it's the Corinthian figuring out weaknesses too but…it’s looking beneath. Trying to see him as he is.

It’s wanting to.

And it’s wanting to put his fingerprints all over him.

Dream made the Corinthian (which gives us all the wonderful facets of a creator/creation dynamic) but…to him there is something unique about being chosen. About laying the bait and having the Corinthian decide to take it every time. Even if Dream knows that he will, knows that he can offer himself, he isn’t forcing it. As much as that prods at the Corinthian’s desire for agency, stings his pride, it also gives to it. In a way BTT Dream is soothing the original wound of the Corinthian’s betrayal for them both. He rebelled by turning away, by leaving, but this is him deciding to act that frustration out while also no longer denying how much he wants Dream.

So just by being so obsessed with defeating him in such a deeply personal—up close and incredibly intimate—way, the Corinthian is effectively giving Dream all the attention he could ever want.

Promising a constant supply of the devotion I think Dream requires to feel satisfied by a lover.

Though it’s by no means one sided. The Corinthian gets a taste of looking at the bigger picture, at Dream’s responsibility for the larger scale, and that’s compelling to him in this context because understanding it allows him to enjoy what it means for his creator to turn away for even a little while. Disgruntlement over Dream’s commitment to his responsibilities has always been (and always will be) a source of tension in their relationship. But this is also a manifestation of the Corinthian’s canon need to prove he was made right—that I also tend to interpret as his wish to prove he is the most worthy believer, the only one to do it correctly—so now he dares blasphemy so he can worship without distance.

While Dream is enjoying the novelty of being the singular object of another's focus, the Corinthian gets to enjoy moments of having what is essentially a universe stare him down without blinking. And that fulfills his own need for attention, his own desire to feel wanted. It’s like sauntering right up to a god busy answering prayers and grabbing them by the hand.

It’s saying ‘reply later I want you now’.

Of course possessiveness and obsession often appear alongside an additional dynamic of ownership that borders on objectification. But with these two I’ve always seen it differently.

Above I mentioned Dream finding the Corinthian’s possessive nature to be a grounding force, and this is really just a continuation of that point because the Corinthian feels the same way about Dream. I don’t think dehumanisation/objectification really works the way we’re used to conceptualising it with characters that have never been human in the first place. We can’t take humanity away from them but what we can take is personhood. Which I think is something both Dream and the Corinthian value incredibly highly. To be honest, I think that in many ways they both use what we might see as objectification to affirm identity in/to each other, to affirm personhood.

It’s a return of self, not a denial of it, humanity the real box when the Corinthian and Dream have always been Other.

It might sound odd but I see a lot of their relationship through this lens. The Corinthian is a ‘thing’ in the same way as Dream is, an object of the same kind, with a function and a role, but that doesn’t deny a sense of self. They don’t need to be in conflict.

So I suppose in BTT that’s really what it’s about. How their relationship supports a reaffirmation of both of their identities. The Corinthian is Dream’s creation, his nightmare, his masterpiece, but that doesn’t mean he’s just a thing to him. To me the creator/creation dynamic adds identity, adds agency, contributes to the fullness of character rather than taking away from it. Neither of them have to scale themselves down. They don't have to make themselves smaller. So that's another part of what these characters can find in each other, part of the balance I like to write, part of how they ground themselves while also enjoying testing their own extremes.

It’s love and possessiveness and you help me keep my balance. It’s I can be me to the fullest, it’s no part of me is ugly to you. It’s nothing will make me look away. It’s I will fight with you forever and you will let me, you won’t burn out, you can take all that I am.

You want all of what I am and that is love.

[strangerhands]

10 fandoms/10 characters/10 tags

waaaaaa omg thank you for the tag em 🫶 @runa-falls!! its been 800 years since i got to do a tag game (and make my own post for once..) so thanks! this actually made me happy but also a little "oh shit. people know i exist..?" i also made this post unnecessarily long but its me so whats new

ummm its all. only. oscar. not sorry (a little sorry)

1. marc spector + steven grant + jake lockley, moon knight-my absolute beloveds. moon knight is so special to me. the boys are so special to me. theres really nowhere near enough i could say here about them but if you get it, you get it. its also what got me into oscar (even though i discovered immediately that he was in annihilation and x-men: apocalypse WHICH I WATCHED YEARS AGO GODDAMMIT)

2. robbie paulson, law and order: criminal intent-listen. hes my girlfriend. my babygirl. my love. my sweet boy. the one plaguing damn near every Thot. most niche character here. wish he was real. wish there was more content of him out there but good god if fran (@/midgardian-witch, who also made that gif) hasnt been holding it downnnnnnn. bless.

3. poe dameron, star wars sequel trilogy-beautiful brave sweet husband who would maybe drive me a bit insane irl but in a good way (mostly) i wanna protect him. (also the only star wars films ive seen sorryyyyy sorry. yes it was for him. and adam driver.)

4. miguel o'hara, spider-man: into the spider-verse + spider-man: across the spider-verse-ohhh you beeg grumpy beautiful man. he would not like me. bite me pls (also still my two favourite movies oat.) craving some milk and cake suddenly... (his hair wings..<3)

5. cecil dennis, revenge for jolly!-pathetic little dirty alley cat man my beloved. my little princess. also my babygirl girlfriend little guy loser boy. (AND THE CURLSSSSSSS. AND SAD COW EYES.)

6. nathan bateman, ex machina-asshole who i unfortunately love. we would not get along irl but thats what fics are for!!!! he would make me cry. (but what if i could fix him..) i have a soft spot for him...

7. llewyn davis, inside llewyn davis-sad beautiful talented man. you can crash at my place any day. i would let him leech off of me idec lemme help you baby. i could show you what love is. (the curls and outfits...... i Crave.)

8. santiago garcia, triple frontier-woof. this guy. damn. yeah. sorry santi but i wanna bite your knees

9. blue jones, sucker punch-literally. asshole piece of shit but good god. whore. so slutty and beautiful and PATHETIC. i would let him be mean to me and then cry in private. but also put him in his place. its complicated. (whoever did his eyeliner and club wardrobe in that movie... i owe you my life. thank you. thank you. you deserve everything. thank you.)

10. mikael boghosian, the promise-oh. sweet beautiful intimate lover man. THAT scene... absolutely killed me. THAT SHOULDVE BEEN MEEEEE. i need him. (i am taking this moment to remind yall of the titty bite. yea. not sorry. youre welcome.)

honestly i couldve put nearly all of oscars characters but alas.

no pressure tags, hope none of you mind! i know this is very sudden and unexpected from me. only tagged some mutuals so its not 10 :p sorryy (sorry if youve been tagged already)

@my-secret-shame @saturn-rings-writes @spacecowboyhotch @villainsoftheweek @f4nrir @kouichijo @mugensword

again, no pressure to do this. hope everyone tagged is doing well! i havent interacted with some of yall in a long time<3

all gif credits go to their respective creators! i have no idea if tumblr automatically shows who made them or not, so sorry if it doesnt.

[nkirukaj]

vVv is for Voe (19)

Pairing: RadioBeau

Warnings: Swearing; Graphic Depictions of Violence

Genre: Humor! Angst!

Word Count: 1.4K

19. Get Even

Voe stood outside the shining tower. She thought over her plan again, deciding she was resolute and perhaps willing to die again. She looked up at the sign and, for the first time, noticed that they had never even changed it. Dickheads. She waltzes inside and faces Courtney, who opens her mouth.

“Either you’re with me or against me, Courtney, and if you’re against me, you can have some of what they’re having,”

The receptionist closes her lips and sinks into her chair, allowing Voe to pass by. She wasn’t exactly sure what she would do regarding Velvette, but she figured she would come up with something on the way there. Now, she was ascending the stairs and still had nothing in mind. Voe entered the studio with no words.

“Well, well, well, look who’s come crawling back to us,” Velvette mused with a smirk “I must say that I’m not surprised,” she turned away from Voe “We expected that it might be a little less ti-“ the British doll is cut off by Voe knocking her out with a pipe that she ripped out of the wall. She collapses onto the floor with a thud. 

“I couldn’t think of anything,” she says to herself, shrugging and dropping the pipe onto the floor and heading over to the doll’s computer, which was already open and logged in, conveniently enough for her. 

Voe navigates through the files, finding where she keeps her designs and concepts. She logs into her alt account on Sinstagram and posts the looks, leaking them to the public. 

Velvette of the Vees stole these designs from lesser-known creators. She does none of her fashion work; she only knows how to steal. 

The Overlord’s notification began blowing up instantly, her follower count dropping like it was hot. Voe looks down at the unconscious sinner. 

“Well, that was easy,” she says, kicking the woman’s body.

Of course, this plan wouldn’t be completed in a day. Some people still supported Velvette, which was to be expected, but she knew that her plan was in motion when she saw the queen of fashion make a video defending herself.

“I don’t know what anyone is talking about. I don’t steal anything. If anything, that person stole from me!” Her follower count is dropping like a waterfall. Voe could see the woman freaking out in her head. Potentially runs around while trying to ignore it and complaining to Vox, while he chooses not to listen. The thought gave her a chuckle as she lay in her bed. Alastor enters the room quietly.

“They said you called for me,” He announces

Voe sits up “Yes I did, I wanted to tell you something. 

Alastor raises his brow in intrigue “Yes?”

“I wanted to let you how this started. How I ended up here at the hotel,”

“I know how,”

“But you don’t even know why,”

“Vox kicked you out, I’m aware,”

She shakes her head “You don’t know why Vox kicked me out,”

“Tell me then,”

“Well, he came in my room and we were getting…intimate,” Alastor rolls his eyes “Stop and listen,” she grabs his arm “And I said your name,”

Alastor’s look of indignation turns into the smuggest of all grins, with pride that he doesn’t want to try to hide “Is that so?”

Voe could barely hide her blush and smiled herself “Yes,” she admits, “I had been…thinking about you before he had shown up, and the next thing I knew, your name was coming out of my mouth,” She looks up at him a little sheepishly “I just felt that you should know that,”

“Well, my dear, I am glad you told me that. Another thing that I have over Vox,”

“Ugh, oh no, that inflated your ego, didn’t it?”

Alastor doesn’t answer but taps his temple with a close-lipped smirk. 

“Angel,” Voe called after the spider in the halls of the hotel

He lifts his head while he’s texting “Yeah,”

“You ever thought about beating up Val?”

“Excuse me?”

Voe smirks “Beating up Val,”

“Why would I do that?”

“Cuz he sucks,”

He looks around as if to make sure Val can’t hear him “I can’t- I can’t do that,”

Next on the list was Valentino, who was not the easiest to overrule. He used fear to keep his souls in line. And fear is not an easy emotion to override. 

“You could if you had help…right?” Voe leans into the spider

“I guess...” he furrows his brows “Whatchu gettin’ at?” he crosses a pair of his arms

She raises her brows in delight “What if I told you that I convinced all the actors to stage a mutiny against Val? Would you join?” she mirrors him

His eyes widen “I’d say you were crazy,”

“Call crazy all you want, but I did it,” she grins

“Sure,”

“Sure what?”

“I’ll think about it,”

She puts her hand on his shoulder “I hope to see you there,”

It was a surprise for Val to show up at the studio and see Voe sitting in his chair, legs elegantly crossed and checking her nails, flexing her foot in empty air.

“Hmm, looks like somebody decided to come crawling back,” he smirks “Doesn’t mean you can sit in my seat, Chiquita,” he licks his teeth

Voe looks up “Funny, that's exactly what Velvette said,” She mimics his accent “Hello, Valentino. I’m not here to crawl back to you,” her eyes turn up towards him “I’m here to liberate,”

Val snickers “Oh really? And to whom might you be referring?”

She gestures to his actors and crew, “Them,”

The Overlord crosses his arms in amusement “Really?”

She looks at the demons, her eyes wide in anticipation, nobody moves and makes a sound “Seriously, this is the moment we were waiting for.” she looks back around “Do I have to make the first move?”

He laughs and leans down to her “Looks like you and your-“ *POW* Voe punches square in his moth face, where a nose would be if he were human. “Why you, little?” he reaches for her when another demon screams a war cry and pounces on Val’s back, biting down on his shoulder. “Ow! What the fuck!” he goes to swat that demon, and another jumps and grabs onto his arm. Suddenly a hoard of porn actors and actresses pile on top of the Overlord, ripping his flesh and fur from his body. All Voe could see was Val’s hand reaching up for some help before another pounced on his and completely covered him from head to toe. Voe raises her head to see Angel cowering behind some set pieces. They lock eyes and Voe tilts her head.

“You like butts right?!” Travis yells, grabbing the boom mic and bringing it over to the Overlord, Voe hears the feedback as the mic goes up his butt cheeks

“AAHHHHHH!” His screams go up in pitch as Voe starts to get a bit uncomfortable.

She gestures out of the room and walks out. 2 down and one to go. And she saved the best for last.

Alastor and Lucifer sat down next to each other begrudgingly as Voe sat opposite them.

“Thank you two for tolerating each other enough to hear what I need to say to both of you,” Alastor elbows Lucifer, and Lucifer elbows him back “Guys, this is important!”

Lucifer clears his throat “What is it you need?”

“Lucifer, I already told you this part, so I’m directing this to Alastor,” Lucifer puffs out his chest with pride, knowing that he got to know first. She turns to the Radio Demon “Alastor, the reason I’ve been acting so oddly, and why I came home,” his smile widens when she calls the hotel ‘home’ “Is that, while I was at Vee tower, someone ….. took advantage of me,” she pauses “Sexually,”

Alastor’s eyes go black and he clears his throat “I assume the culprit is dead?”

She shakes her head “Not exactly,”

He leans forward in confusion “And why not? Also, why did this bumbling buffoon get this information before me?”

“That doesn’t matter right now!”

“Yeah, Alastor. It doesn’t matter that she told me first because she trusts me more,”

He turns his neck so he’s facing the King “Listen you-“

“Guys!” They both snap their necks toward her “I’m ready to say who did it,” The men both widen their eyes in anticipation “It was-“

[zalrb]

I recently watched Baby Reindeer. It was kind of personal to me because someone in my family stalked another person.

I had to acknowledge the amount of empathy Donny had for Martha and I admire it, but it was also frustrating. The nuance was a bit of a challenge for me, and I think that’s what the creator was aiming for. I also thought the depiction of grooming was done well with Darrien and Donny’s father’s confession was just heartbreaking.

I felt so terrible for Terri and for Donny’s landlady, his ex’s mom. I thought they got the shit end of the stick and I know the situation was not Donny’s fault and that his actions were due to desperation, but they were also self-serving and that’s something I could not respect. Again, I do have to give credit to the creator for admitting it and that goes back to the nuance.

I definitely respect the nuance and empathy that was in Baby Reindeer, I think it's a very brave show, I think it's a very intimate show, I think it's a very unconventional exploration of something like stalking, which is what I admired and liked about my viewing experience and how unapologetically human and flawed our protagonist was, where I get the other fifty from is, it's based on Richard Gadd's real life, he did this as a one-act play at first and it's been a part of stand up routine and I can tell, because it felt like a play onscreen, particularly with the voiceover so it wasn't actually the subject matter that made me take pause while watching it because it was too much, it was the execution of the form, it was claustrophobic for me in a eay I didn't think it needed to be for television.

[charcubed]

but is it wrong to feel upset that Neil Gaiman repeatedly acknowledged fans' readings of Azri/Crow as ace/queerplatonic if the intention was always for it to be romantic/sexual? not because that's a problem, obviously that representation is also important and I'm glad it's there, but I don't think he should've given the impression that a community with even less (practically nothing) might be represented (or at least an equally valid reading) if that was never the case? feels bad man :/

I don't think it's wrong to feel that way, because those are your feelings and you're feeling them. But I do think this is overall... a little complicated? Disclaimer before I continue: I am like a step removed from what Neil Gaiman's actions have ever been on this site or just in general lol, so I'm not speaking from the perspective of being intimately aware of the lore there or what instances you may be thinking of personally.

At minimum, all I know is that he's always said since season 1 that it's a "love story." Does that necessarily have to equal romance? I mean... no, because "love story" is a storytelling framework, but also. Well. [gestures vaguely]

But! That aside – again without knowing the history of potentially specific instances – I will say two things:

Acknowledgement of fan readings or gratitude or headcanons or whatnot does not have to always be, like, word-of-author-God tacit endorsement or confirmation of canon. It could very well be "I'm glad you enjoyed it, or "I'm glad you see yourself / see value in this story," or even (based on what I remember of some of the Discourse of the time) "I'm glad you're advocating for the legitimacy of the love in this story." What I'm trying to say (as gently as possible) is that him liking posts or engaging with fans' happiness was not necessarily a promise with any specificity of the nuances of the characters' identities in canon or where the story might go in future. Hell, it's even likely that he engaged with such a spectrum of fan content years ago that some could consider things he acknowledged to be contradictory, i.e. maybe he liked a sex indifferent ace reading and also liked a demi-and-super-into-each-other ace reading for example. (There's also something to be said for how messy things can get when a creator is this dialed into fandom conversations and engages with fans directly, because then people read into the creator's every online move, and some of the onus is on the creator for that broadly speaking, but... I digress.) So essentially, it's very possible with whatever acknowledgements he made that he wasn't intending to be giving impressions or promises of future material at all.

This is pure conjecture, but there's also nothing to say that he did always know what the "intention" would be in regards to the extent of the romantic or sexual nature of Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship. It's highly possible their relationship has evolved as much for Neil as it has for us. Writing can be like that, y'know? The characters or the way you end up taking their story can surprise you. And that's especially true in the case here, since there was an original book, and then the show vastly expanded upon their relationship in season 1, and now everything beyond that is largely uncharted story waters in terms of character work. I'd bet on it tbh. When Neil was liking tumblr posts or whatever back in ye old 2019, who knows how much he had mapped out for the future at that point?

But like, look. You're not wrong if you feel bad about it, as long as you're being normal about feeling bad (and you seem to be), aka not taking it out on anyone else or shitting on what the story is now or may become in future.

I also want to add that I don't think an ace spectrum reading has to inherently be considered irrelevant now or in the future for these characters? Yet I also very much know that that can sound like bullshit if a specific flavor of ace spectrum reading is what you had in mind, so I'm sympathetic to that :/

I don't know if this is very helpful smh but uhhh those are my thoughts. At the end of the day I'm sorry you're upset and I hope you continue to enjoy the characters / the show!

[blackamethyst04]

Roses and Bombs

(Pt. 1)

Spencer!Reid X Fem!Reader

Date Night With Spency! Turns into a distracted case.

Warning: Fluff, Violence, terrositsm, blood Arguing, Mentions of SA, and Romance.

(I wanted to make something different from Smut.)

:readmore:

As the moonlight beamed on the roads in a busy streets. You pulled down your dress, pulling on some jewelry. It’s been a while since you and Reid have gone on a real date. Thankfully you didn’t get called into work. It was perfect. The perfect temperature. You pulled on your shoes. It was not common you dress up. You decided on a black dress, some tinted stockings and a light weight jacket with some boot heels. You pulled a bag over yourself as you headed to the door Justin time for Spency to arrive. He was wearing a dark suit as he handed you some roses.

You smiled at him as you pulled him into a hug and kissed him in the cheek. He wrapped his arm around you as he walked you to the car, pulling open the passenger door for you, closing it after you got in. He then went to the drivers side.

“You looked wonderful by the way.”

He said. You smiled and smelled the roses. Hiding your smile in the flowers. Spencer was always the romantic type. That was your favorite thing about him. Being with him to so long really helped you accept the little things he does. You could tel how he was feeling with the way he moved and looked at you. You seemed to understand what all of his nervous ticks were. When he would chew on the inside of his mouth and zone out when he focused. When he would flip the pens in his hand or play with his fingers when he was nervous. The way he would look at you when you said something that made him upset, or if you said something that he really enjoyed listening to. You knew how to make him smile. You loved his smile. Simple things, like telling him that you loved him. And making him flustered when you complimented him. He loved how you were both so smart, and bounced off of each others ideas.

“Thank you my love, You look very handsome today.”

You said. He slightly became flustered, licking his lips trying not to smile. As he drove he placed his hand on the side of the stick shift, you then held it. Your hands locking. You should sense his heart beating. His pulse quickening as he pulled to the restaurant. Was he nervous? You turned as he parked the car and quickly got out, opening the door for you. You guys walked to your tables. Sitting down and ordering food. As you ate your dinner and had your small talk you guys began to get more intimate with the conversation.

“So, uh. Would you ever raise children?”

“I wish I could have children, but I’d love to adopt and foster. Only, I’d your are by my side Spency.”

You said. He looked down trying to hide his blush. The fact that you guys have been together for so long and still manage to fluster each other is baffling. As you finished up dinner, you guys decided to go on a walk around the pier. One of your favorite things to do. That and enjoy ice cream like children. As you walked and listened to the waves crash. You felt like Spencer wanted to tell you something. You looked at him turning around to face him as you walked backwards.

“What’s wrong Spency.”

You said holding your favorite ice cream in your hand. Spencer seemed to look at the ground avoiding eye contact before trying to look at you. He stopped. Walking, your did to. He began to fiddle with his fingers.

“The truth is. Uhm. The average relationship length lasts between, uh 9 months too 2 years. 70% of relationships fail in the fir-first year. And- well..”

You looked at him. Your eyes matching his. He seemed to lose his train of thought. You looked at him. Was he about to break up with you? Or did he think you were gonna break up with him.

“Spencer. We have been together for nearly 5 years. Yea we had a break in between. But, I am sure we are okay. Spencer you know you can talk to me about anything.”

You reassured. As you took a another taste of your ice cream. He looked around nervously as he began to talk again.

“Right. Right, what I mean is. I love you and I- damn it”

He said as he reached in his pocket to grab his phone that seemed to be ringing. You sighed as he quickly hung up, closing his phone before he tried to speak again.

“I just. I really love you and I jus-“

He started before hearing your phone ring. You sighed as you grabbed it. Turning the ringer off. Before you turned back to him.

“Go ahead Spencer. It can wait. I’m sure they can wait.”

You said. Before Spencer’s phone started to ring again. He grunted in frustration as he answered it.

“What! Oh..oh hey Hotch…”

He said giving you a wide eyed look. You sighed as he continued to speak. Looking at you as he tried to have the conversation.

“Yea sir. On the way now. Got it. Sorry.”

He said. He then hung up the phone turning back to you. As he put the phone in his pocket.

“We have a case.”

“Damn, does this place never sleep.”

You said. You walked quickly Reid right beside you as you made it to the car. Tossing the ice cream in the trash. The drive was quiet, almost awkward. But, you pulled into the BAU. Walking straight into the building hopping in the elevator.

“You never finished what you were saying.”

You said. Breaking the Silence. He turned to you. As the Elevator dinged to your floor.

“It can wait.”

(It’s time for a break besties, this is quite longer, and idk if the read mores are working. So take a pause, drink some water, get a snack, and enjoy!)

He said. You both walked into the meeting room, seeing the whole team already seated and comfortable as if they had no life outside of work. They looked at the both of you. Who seemed to be matching.

“Oh wow, where you guys on a date? You look great. I didn’t know you dressed up like that y/l/n.”

Morgan said. You glared at him in a joking way as you guys sat beside each other. Looking at the case files. Opening the files to watch your wonderful night have a horrific ending. Jj began to go over notes.

“Sorry, we wouldn’t call you in on this night if it wasn’t important.”

Jj said. Reid looked at the files and mumbled under his breath in frustration.

“It better be important.”

No one else heard it, but you did. Well you hoped no one else h are it. Reid was Definitely upset about something. He was so distracted, Reid hung his hand on his side, tapping the underside of the chair. As he tapped his foot. You looked over, and back to jj, before you held his hand. Stopping him from tapping, he looked at you then back to the case. As you did this Spencer seemed to calm down. As you guys got on the jet. You sat at the two seater with the table Reid Sitting in the back alone despite there being a empty seat beside you. You sighed as Morgan sat beside you.

“Okay, victimology. It seems the Unsub is targeting thr school of course. But the question is who, and why.”

Rossi said. You looked down at the notes, as they group talked about their theories. You clicked your pen a few times. As you looked at the bomb threat.

“This was on a elementary school? That doesn’t seem right. Usually they are on high-schools or colleges or even middle schools. I’m going to guess that something happened to the person who made this at that elementary school.”

You said. Reid continued to bounce his leg. This made you Anxious bouncing your leg. You continued to talk about victimology and going over case studies as you noticed Derek texting. Before getting a text Message on your phone.

Derek: What’s up with Reid

Y/n: I don’t know. He was fine when we were on the date.

Derek: hopefully he isn’t like this the whole time.

You turned to Derek. And shrugged before you felt the plane Land. You were then separated into groups.

“Y/l/n and Rossi will set up in the school, Prentiss and Jj, you guys are in charge of the media and making sure this doesn’t get out, Reid, Morgan your with me. We are heading to the police station.”

Hotch said. With that you guys separated off into your groups. You and Rossi talking to students in school. Observing the actions of the kids. Going over rules for evacuation. When the school day ended you got what you needed, heading to the police station to meet up with everyone, going over what you found. You noticed the tension in the air between the Cops and Reid. Also with the team.

“What did you guys find.”

You asked. As everyone began to explain what they found so you can put your ideas together for the profile.

“Turns out the Elementary school as a long line of rumors. Lots of he said she said.”

Rossi explained.

“We heard similar reports at the station. But no one will tell us what kind of rumors there are.”

Derek said, Reid stood there, his arms crossed.

“Well, if we are hearing similar things. Perhaps they are not rumors. Obviously if multiple people have the same story, then maybe they just choose not to believe it.”

Reid said with a dark tone. You looked around. You noticed a officer walking by.

“Hey, Officer. Can you tell us what kind of rumors there are?”

You said. The officer shrugged.

“I wouldn’t believe in rumors. Lies spread quick in this town.”

The officer said basically putting off the question. You sighed as you called Garcia.

“Fine, we can play this way. Hey Garcia, can you check to see what the Buzz is around town. Perhaps any rumors. Or police reports marked false?”

You asked. The officer leaned against the table.

“I’m telling you, your wasting your time.”

The officer said. Not a cop who wants all the glory for himself. Sometimes you wondered why the department invited you in if they were not gonna let you help.

“Done and Done.”

“Great Garcia. Narrow it down to cases involving children.”

Rossi added.

“Alright and…oh. It looks like some Timothy Stevens complained to a counselor about sexual behavior towards him from a teacher,”

“Garcia. Was this investigated?”

Reid asked.

“Looks like the case wasn’t investigated in full. Turns out it was as proven False. So they threw it out after 24 hours.”

“So your telling me, a child filed a report on sexual activities with a teacher, and they police didn’t even investigate it in full.”

“Yea. It looks like they didn’t even get cps involved.”

Reid and Garcia said. You turned to the officer.

“Oh come on the guy he said was the one who did such things to him is a good guy, and has his own children. We knew it was false when we talked to the teacher.”

The officer explained. You turned to the phone.

“Garcia where is Timothy Now.”

“Well my Lovely Sugar plum Y/n. Looks like this was filed 7 years ago, I’m going to find out now…”

She said. She then got a bit quiet.

“Oh…turns out he jumped off a bridge a few months ago…he passed before they got him out the water…”

Garcia said. You turned to the officer, before Reid stepped up.

“So you’re telling me that a kid stood up for himself, and you thought he was laying because you think he’s a good guy? And you didn’t think to report or look into it before. And your still stuck in denial to where you didn’t look into it after he killed himself. Yet your so confident that there is nothing wrong here. You have to be one of the most inconsiderate, immature, useless as-“

“Reid! Come with me.”

Hotch corrected. You froze, looking at the case files. What the hell was this cops problem. He didn’t think this was a big deal. You stood up straight. As you saw Hotch and Reid walk to a separate room.

“Garcia I need you to track down the guy the report was made on, and cross examine him with sex offenders in the area, and see if there are any more files against him.”

“On it. Garcia out!”

She said. You looked at the room Hotch and Reid were in. Continuing to add files to the time line. You stared at the files, reading them. As the team decided to step out to get coffee, food and interview the family of the kid. Leaving you with Reid in the break room.

“Why didn’t you defend me.”

Reid muttered. You turned looking at him.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you defend me. You know I was right. Did you think I was wrong. The officers are stupid. They could have easily avoided this if they just paid attention!”

“Spency calm down. We are all upset right now.”

“Don’t Spency me. You should of defended me. No one’s upset anymore. Does no once care?!”

He yelled. You looked at him. As he continued to yell at you. Before he slammed his file closed and walked out of the station. You stood there, confused, and upset. Did you fuck up? You sat down for a second trying to wrap you head around everything. You and the team have not slept in days. You the. Noticed something, pulling the pages side by side looking at all of the cases against the same teacher. WAIT!

(Break time again! Thank you for reading still! Let me know how you like it so far.)

You stood up as you ran to your phone calling the group. You finally out two and two together.

“Hotch. The Unsub is his son! He was also separated from his father during a divorce with his mom, when his mom tragically passed in a fire. He was forced to live with his dad. Where he too dealt with the sexual abuse. Much like many kids. They have moved place to place all Places claiming how good of a guy he was. Based on this message we couldn’t decode. He’s gonna blow up the school on the anniversary of his mothers passing…which is….oh god. Today. We need to evacuate the school!”

You said. You were closer to the school then they were, so you grabbed keys, and hopped into the SUV. Driving to the school and quickly parking before running out and into the school. You looked around trying to get the attention of the teachers. Unsuccessful you pulled the fire alarm. That got them to listen. The teachers and staff evacuating the school. All the students leaving, you ran around the school making sure the school was empty. Seeing the teachers class. You opened the door and- An explosion from the room sending you flying back. Running into the wall on the opposite side. You ears were ringing and your vision blurry. You held your head, feeling the warmth of your blood from hitting your head. The pain ringing into your skin. As the place began to light unfire. You tried to get up but you couldn’t.

—————————————————————————

Spencer’s POV

Spencer looked at his case files drinking his coffee. He probably shouldn’t have blown up in you. You didn’t deserve it, you were just trying to help. Maybe he should go apologize. Everything was okay until this damn case. He was angry, why was he so angry. He looked over to his leather bag, A small box sized dent poking out of his bag. He grabbed it. Pulling the dark velvet covered box, opening it. Looking at the ring. It was perfect, you were perfect, everything was perfect until the case. Everything was going well. Maybe if he wasn’t so damn nervous it wouldn’t have taken this long. He wanted to marry you since a few months in a relationship with you. But he never thought it would last long, not many of his relationships do. They always end in tragedy. So yea, when he for overwhelmed and was so deeply in love, he tended to push people away. Who could blame him. He watched Maeve get killed in front of him. After that, he never felt the same. He examined the silver ring, the diamond surrounded by the shape of the rose. He thought it would be perfect. He always saw You as a rose. Everytime he saw you, a poem from Tupac Rang in his ears.

“Did you hear about the rose that grew, from the crack in the concrete. Proving natures law is wrong. It learned to walk without having feet, Funny it seems. But by keeping its dreams, it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete. When no one else ever cared.”

He said to himself. He closed the ring box. As he opened his file, seeing cars and fire trucks zoom off. He stood up as he watched people rush out. Seeing Derek drive by, before pulling over.

“What’s going on?”

Reid asked hiding the box in his pocket.

“Did you get the text. The school blew up. It’s unfire. Wait what are you doing here?”

“What? What do you mean I didn’t know.”

“Y/Ns there.”

“What?!”

Spencer exclaimed before running to the passenger side of the car, zooming off with Derek, they pulled into the school as the flames. Engulfed the place, the children and students standing back covering their mouths.

“Everyone was evacuated before the bomb went off. It looks like we are not missing anyone.”

An officer said. Hotch walked quickly.

“My Agent. Where’s my Agent?”

He asked. Spencer looked at Hotch before it hit him. Spencer watched the fire go on and on. He continued to walk towards Hotch not sure of what’s happening.

“What Agent?”

“Agent y/l/n?! The girl with the Brains? The girl who questioned you??!!”

Hotch said getting upset. The officer looked stunned.

“I saw her! She pulled the Alarm to get us all out. I didn’t see her leave. She might still be in there!”

A woman said. Hotch turned.

“Well, any fire like that, there is no way she is getting out in time. We can try, but-“

“That’s it? You’re just gonna give up? She’s a person to!”

“There’s nothing we can do.”

The officer said. Before Spencer reacted a woman began yelling.

“MY SON! My sons still in there!!”

The woman said pushing through the crowd running to Hotch. Before she grabbed the clothes of the fire fighters.

“DO SOMETHING MY SON IS IN THERE!!!”

The woman said. Spencer snapped out of it, running to Hotch after looking around.

“Where’s y/n?”

He asked. Hotch turned to Reid.

“She uh…no one saw her leave.”

“She’s still in there!? Hotch we have to get her!”

Spencer said before charging towards the barricade. Aaron watched as another explosion went off, pulling Reid back. It wasn’t enough, he continued to fight, running closer to the building, Morgan pulling him back pinning him on the floor.

“Stop fighting kid! We can’t lose you too!”

Morgan said. Reid continued to fight, as part of the building began to collapse. Falling onto the concrete. That was it. The stick that broke the camels back. Reid broke down. Tears streaming down his face. It was as if he went through all stages of grief. Letting out a scream of pain, as the box fell from his pocket. Reid quickly grabbed it, as they were pulled from the fire. A blanket wrapped around him as he stood their, numb. Staring at the box.

“I can’t believe this. I had so much I wanted to do with her. We were gonna adopt children…and…”

He said. Morgan peeked over his shoulder, lookin at the box.

“What’s that kid? A bracelet?”

“No…who cares it’s useless now..”

He said. Opening the box showing the ring. As the day turned to night. It didn’t take long. It was towards the end of the school day. He closed it sitting it on the floor.

“That’s why you were so angry…this case ruined your proposal…”

He said. Spencer nodded as he sat down. The silence filled with screaming once More. They two turned to the noise.

—————————————————————————

(Back To You!)

After a moment of trying to build your strength and hearing the Sirens outside. You heard the distant cries of a boy. You looked around your vision doubled as you continued to inhale the smoke. You used all your strength to get up, and walking slowly to the cries of the young boy.

“I hear you…”

You said, walking towards the sounds. Running into a door, you looked around, as you pushed the door open. You looked at the class room your visions slowly tripling. You then walked closer, hearing the cries, your vision slowly becoming clearer. You looked at the closet door, slowly pushing it open to see a boy hiding in his jacket. He had dark hair, and dark skin. You looked around as your motherly instincts kicked in. You ripped a curtain off the wall, running to the boy, before wrapping him in it.

“I got you. Hide your face in your sweater, I’m going to get you out of here.”

You looked around at the fire, before picking him up with all your strength. You began to run as fast as you could out of the school. Running into lots of flames. You looked around as you were Surronded by the flames. You mapped out the quickest exits. You looked around, trying to find the best way to go, turning back as the ceiling Nf collapsed right before your eyes. You gasped hugging the boy and hiding him into your shoulder, there was one way out, and it was through. You looked around, noticing the way where the ceiling collapsed had more flames than the other side. Youd do anything to make sure this boy survived. You held your breath, running through the flames to a side door behind the school. Trying to open it with your foot. The bot wiggled as you sat him down to push open the door, falling. You didn’t have much strength left. You looked at the boy, who seemed to get up still hiding his face in the sweater. He looked at you.

“I can help Ms Good Guy…”

The boy said coughing. He pushed the door, his gripped combined with the rest of your strength wre able to push the door open. To the Outside. Thunder rumbling as rain poured down. You heard another explosion as you pushed the boy out, falling as the exit sign fell. The boy began coughing again, you laid down, you knew you had to get away from the school. You stood up catching you balance as you picked up the boy you arms shaking as you ran further from the school. You made it to the grass. Setting the boy down. You leaned against a light post panting. The boy got his breath back, taking in the fresh air, covered in soot.

“Go to the flashing lights…they can..”

You started, coughing aggressively.

“They can help…”

“No, not without you…you have to go with me. How else will I tell the good guys from the bad guys? Come one Ms Agent! We can make it…look…I’ll help you.”

He said grabbing your hand. How could you say no to that boy. You nodded as you guys began to move towards the lights. Shaking.

“It’s ok! We can go slow! We can make it! Slow and easy as my mom calls it..”

The boy encouraged. You nodded, slowly walking towards the Sirens. You needed to make sure this boy was safe. Finally making it to where people could see you. No one was focused. You nearly collapsed. Hearing the screaming of a woman.

“MY SON!!”

The woman said running towards you guys. You smiled. As the boy rejoiced inn seeing his mommy.

“MOMMY!!! This agent saved me!”

He said. You smiled as the woman hugged her son. That was it…you completed your task. You could rest…you watched as the mother ran to the EMTs. You strength was gone…was it just you or was the ground getting closer. You thought. Falling into the floor. You looked up at the clouds rain falling onto you as you laid there. You couldn’t feel anything, nothing but the rain. It was nice…

“Y/N!!!”

You heard someone yell. You continued to look up. You head still bleeding. The moon was so pretty. Much like it was on the date. You were exhausted. You felt seining right beside you, the moon Beaming on you. You heard the voice, call you name again. Was that…Spencer? You couldn’t move, only your eyes. You moved you eyes which took so much energy. Looking at a broken Spencer. You couldn’t speak, you heard him talking. But you didn’t understand. You sued the rest of your energy to lift your hand up, to cup his face, you felt tears running down his eyes. You felt people pick you up moving you to a stretcher. Before your hand dropped, falling asleep. But, but you didn’t sleep for long, you opened your eyes, blinded by the ambulance lights. You could hear a little again.

“She’s going in and out, we need to get her on oxygen and fluids. We need to rush her to surgery, there’s glass in her head!”

Hurried men said, you looked around, as Spencer nodded listening to the men. You looked at Spencer.

“Sp-spen—My love…”

You said. Spencer looked at you, getting closer.

“I’m in right here! I promise.”

He said. As he grabbed your hand.

“I’m sorry..I didn’t- stand up for you-“

“It’s okay, stay with me okay.”

“It hurts….”

“What hurts?”

He responded tears filling his eyes. You hated when he cried. You looked away.

“Everything….”

You said. Spencer looked around trying to get them to give you something to help the pain. The Ambulance was driving so fast it kinda mad you sick. The EMTs finally gave you something for the pain. The ride felt like forever as they pulled you out of the vehicle. Rushing you to surgery. You watched as Reid stood as they put you under for surgery. As soon as it started, it stopped. I waking up in a hospital bed. Looking around as You heard them talking. The team.

“She’s been out for weeks! What if she doesn’t wake up??”

“Kid, trust me she will!”

You heard Spencer and Morgan talking. You then heard Garcia.

“Don’t say that!”

She said. You decided to let them know you were awake.

“You really thinks you can get rid of me that easy?”

You responded-“…

Pt 2 soon!

[larkawolfgirl]

First Times Four- Chapter 3 Shino

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M, Multi

Fandoms:カノジョも彼女 | Kanojo mo Kanojo | Girlfriend Girlfriend (Anime) カノジョも彼女 | Kanojo mo Kanojo | Girlfriend Girlfriend (Manga)

Relationships: Mukai Naoya/Saki Saki, Minase Nagisa/Mukai Naoya

Kiryuu Shino/Mukai Naoya, Hoshizaki Rika/Mukai Naoya, Hoshizaki Rika/Kiryuu Shino/Minase Nagisa/Mukai Naoya/Saki Saki

Summary:

Mirika calls for a relationship meeting to discuss how long they have waited to move forward with their relationship. Saki finally agrees to become intimate.

Firsts, told in four parts.

Read on ao3

Nagisa was extra chipper the next morning as she prepared breakfast. Smirking, Saki snuck up behind her and squeezed around her waist. It caught Nagisa off guard, making her jump with a shriek and splatter pancake mix on the wall.

“Seems like you had a good time yesterday,” Saki said, burying her face in Nagisa’s hair.

Nagisa squirmed at the attention. “Saki-chan! Give me some space. It’s dangerous to bother someone when they’re cooking.”

Saki backed up, giving her a pouting expression. “Is that any way to treat your girlfriend when you abandoned me all day for someone else?”

Nagisa rolled her eyes and pointed her spatula at her. “You did it first,” she accused with mock frustration. Then she attempted haughtiness. It was still a work in progress, but with both Saki and Mirika around, she was sure she’d eventually get the hang of the art. “If you wanted to spend time with me yesterday all you had to do was ask.”

Mirika sidled up next to them with an empty plate. “A little birdie told me you were busy all day yesterday.”

Nagisa blushed as she placed the newly cooked pancakes on her plate. “It wasn’t all day.”

The Metuber huffed. “Well, you were definitely in there a long time.”

Instead of replying, Nagisa chose to pour more pancake mix into the skillet.

“Stop giving her a hard time,” Shino spoke up.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mirika said, taking the seat beside her. “It’s like you don’t have a jealous bone in your body.”

Shino looked down at her empty plate. “That’s not true. I never had the right to be. And it’s just easier now.”

Mirika crossed her arms. “Right, because you girls are so happy together.”

The annoyance in her voice sounded forced. Every time Shino heard that tone she wondered if Mirika was more jealous of the relationship they had formed together than the fact they were all dating Naoya. Before Shino could think up a calculated leading question, Saki beat her to the punch.

The redhead slung an arm around Mirika’s shoulders. “You can always get in on the action, you know?”

Shino shook her head at her overbearingness. It still amazed her how her best friend was so forward with girls yet had been so slow to move forward with Naoya.

Mirika grimaced and pushed her arm away. “The only action I’m looking for is with Naoya, thanks.”

Speaking of Naoya, he finally chose that moment to emerge from the shower. Water droplets still clung to his hair. He looked…

Good. Shino decided good was enough of a describer for now. Her mind was already reeling with thoughts of what he had probably cleaned off of himself in there. She didn’t need to get herself any more worked up when she didn’t know yet if today was her day.

She licked her suddenly dry lips. “Morning, Mukai-kun.”

“Morning.” His eyes lingered on hers long enough to make her gulp.

He wanted her.

Of course, he wanted her; that’s why they were dating. But he wanted her now.

The spell between them broke when Nagisa handed him a full plate of pancakes. “Morning,” she said, planting a light kiss on his cheek.

Shino couldn’t take her eyes off him as he greeted the other girls before taking the open seat beside her.

She averted her eyes to the pancakes Nagisa had given her without her noticing. "I suppose I am next then..." she mumbled quietly.

Naoya took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "We don't have to, if you aren't ready. It doesn't have to be today. I might need a break anyway," he joked.

“No way!” Mirika protested. “If she isn’t up for it, then I’m cutting in line.”

Everyone gave her a judgmental look.

“What?” she asked, looking genuinely confused by their responses.

Shino didn’t want to wait, though. She had waited long enough already. Her silver hair swayed as she shook her head. "No, I...I'm just still wrapping my head around this. The fact that I'm allowed to have you." Her eyes flickered to Saki.

Saki reached across the table to take her free hand in hers. "I want you to be happy, Shino. I promise."

Shino met her eyes, searching. "You’re sure you won’t be upset? Before you were angry just because I kissed him."

Saki straightened in a defensive stance. “That was before. I’m more mature now.”

Mirika cackled. “You, mature? I’ll buy it when I see it.”

Saki glared at her. “Don’t call the kettle black. I’m mellower now. I swear.” She turned back to Shino. “Go on, kiss him.”

Shino hesitated only a moment before doing as she was told. His lips were soft and warm, his hair cool and damp to the touch. The kiss’s only imperfection was the fact that she could feel Saki’s eyes boring into them which scared her into keeping it light rather than devouring the meal presented to her.

“See,” Saki said grinning, “no problem. I love both of you, so of course I want you to be just as happy as I am.”

Mirika whistled. “Guess you were just riled up because you were so horny.”

Saki raised her eyebrows and lunged at her. “Take that back! I’ll show you horny.”

Nagisa giggled as the other two girls began wrestling with each other, but Shino remained focused on Naoya.

He pressed his forehead against hers. “Are you ready?

Shino took in a breath, held it, then nodded. “Yes.”

Shino finally felt like she could catch her breath when the door clicked shut behind them. Which was funny considering how musty the room was. The sheets had obviously been changed by a mindful Nagisa, but the air was still thick with traces of the last days’ events. It made her blood burn hotter thinking about how he’d already had his way with the other two on that very bed and that she would be next. For an moment, she thought of cracking the window open, but then her brain realized that the neighbors would surely hear them if she did.

Naoya stood close to her, his heat drawing her closer like a moth to a flame. His fingers found the ribbon at the back of her head, tugging at it gently until the knot gave way. Silver tresses fell onto her shoulders. His touch lingered, fingers trailing through the strands with an almost reverent care. Shino felt a shiver run down her spine, her breath catching in her throat as he carefully folded the ribbon—the one he had gifted her years ago—and laid it upon the dresser with delicate intention.

"Your hair’s beautiful," he murmured with deep appreciation, the words carrying a weight of intimacy as they slipped from his lips. His fingers caressed her unbound hair as he admired it. "Why do you hide it away?"

Shino's heart throbbed at his desire to understand her better. "I wanted to keep your ribbon with me always," she whispered, vulnerability laced in her voice. The admission hung between them, a testament to her quiet yearning and the depth of her affection.

Everything in her wanted to take action, to pounce and claim him before anyone could stop her. But nothing was standing in her way this time, and as badly as she wanted this, she didn’t want to come off as needy nor pathetic.

Something flashed in his eyes. Desire, but something deeper than that as well. Possessiveness, perhaps? The idea of him being possessive was new, and it made her skin tingle.

Tension coiled within her, a mix of long-held yearning and fresh arousal, as Naoya's hands traced the contour of her face, pausing at her jaw before descending to her neck. His palms were warm, reassuring, and Shino leaned into the touch, her body humming with the need to be claimed by him—body and soul.

Naoya's touch lingered on the delicate fabric of the ribbon, the symbol of Shino's affection—a whisper of silk she had used to tie their hearts together in secret. His fingers traced its edges, a silent homage to the depth of her devotion.

"I don't think I ever thanked you for loving me." His voice was overwhelmingly tender.

"W--what are you talking about?" Her pulse quickened, betraying the turmoil of emotions that danced beneath her skin.

"You loved me," he murmured hot against the shell of her ear, "even though you didn't think I would ever feel the same way."

Shino's heart thrummed a frenzied beat, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths as the truth hung heavy between them. Her gaze drifted away, unable to meet the intensity of his gaze. "It isn’t that I didn’t think you would," she whispered, her voice laced with a vulnerability. "I just didn't want you to because of Saki."

The years of silent yearning still clung to her like a second-skin, but here in this room drenched in sex, she would shed every layer he asked of her.

Naoya's touch journeyed up her spine, each vertebra singing under the pressure of his fingertips.

"You are the best friend she could have asked for," he murmured, taking her hand in his. "But I want you to think about yourself more."

"Naoya," Shino gasped out, her voice thick with layers of unleashed yearning. Her chest swelled with a fervent rush of emotion, each heartbeat a drumroll echoing the intensity of her long-held desires.

"You deserve to be happy too," he said softly. "What do you want, Shino?"

She flushed, overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze, the intimacy between them. Swallowing hard, she trembled in his arms. "Will you let me make you mine?" It was as much a question as it was a plea.

Naoya’s hands cupped her cheeks. "Of course. I’ll give you anything."

The way he spoke made the breath catch in her throat. He sounded so sincere, as if he really would give her absolutely anything. For a normal person, this would mean anything within reason, but this was Naoya. She was sure he would set himself on somehow figuring out how to give her the moon if she asked him to.

Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes, and she shook her head. “You’re ridiculously sweet and devoted. But I suppose that’s what I love the most about you.”

He grinned, pulling her into a kiss that made her ache. “There are too many things to love about you to ever rank them.”

“Mukai-kun,” she whined in a shaky tone. She clutched at his shoulders, pressing closer, and he groaned softly, sliding his hands down to grip her waist.

Impatience swept over her. She fumbled with the buttons of his shirt causing Naoya to chuckle.  Gently batting her hands away, he finished the job before lifting her shirt off as well. He seemed cool and collected in the way he only could be because of the last two days’ events. Yet he let out a tsk when he reached around to unhook her bra.

She couldn’t help laughing at his difficulty. “Here, allow me.”

Her fingers twitched in anticipation to finish devesting them, but she gave him enough time to drink in the sight of her. It wasn’t the first time he had seen her breasts—not even the first time he’d seen her fully naked—but that was before he had seen Saki nor Nagisa naked. Would he still find her as beautiful as he claimed?

Naoya reached out, his entire hand engulfing her small breast. “You’re lovely,” he whispered. His other hand flicked her nipple sending a jolt straight through her.

“Take it off.”

His hands were tugging her skirt down before her hands could even find the fly to his jeans.

Soon they were naked, pressed close together with no barriers left between them. Naoya's hands slid down to grip Shino's hips, and she shivered at the sensation of his arousal hard against her stomach.

Their mouths collided, a desperate clash of lips and tongues. Shino clung to him as he walked them backwards to the bed. He laid her down gently against the pillows, bracing himself over her on his forearms, and Shino reached up to pull him down for another searing kiss.

"How do you want me?" Naoya asked, his hands gliding over her sides and thighs. "Anything, Shino, and it's yours."

Shino arched into his touch with a soft moan, her heart racing, body aching with need. But more than anything, she craved the intimacy between them.

"Just you," she whispered, gazing up at him through half-lidded eyes. "I just want you."

He leaned down to kiss her, soft and deep, and Shino melted into it, wrapping her arms around him to pull him closer.

When the kiss ended, Naoya rested his forehead against hers, his eyes shining with emotion. "You have me," he promised. "Always."

Grabbing a condom from the side table, he settled into her with a groan, the blunt head of his arousal nudging at her entrance. Shino's breath hitched as he eased inside, her body stretching to accommodate his girth, and Naoya paused, watching her face carefully.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, voice strained. Shino shook her head, rocking her hips up to take him deeper, and Naoya hissed in pleasure.

Shino cried out softly at the first thrust, letting her nails dig into his back as she clung onto him. Naoya started up a slow rhythm. He filled her so completely with each stroke, dragging deliciously over sensitive nerves, and pleasure sparked up her spine.

His hands roamed over her, exploring every inch of her skin as if committing her to memory. The heat from his touch left trails of fire on her flesh, branding her, claiming her in ways that words never could. Her hands found his hair, tugging him closer, urging him to erase the last remnants of distance between them.

"Mukai-kun," she moaned, tilting her hips up to meet his thrusts. Naoya groaned in response, burying his face against her neck as his pace increased.

"You feel so good," he said, voice rough with desire. "So perfect, Shino. I'm never going to get enough of this."

Shino could only cling to him, overwhelmed by the sensations flooding her body. She surrendered to the sensation of Naoya inside her, filling her, completing her. Her nails dug into his back, drawing him deeper, unwilling to let even the smallest space exist between them.

In this moment, she was his, utterly and completely. And as they reached the pinnacle of their pleasure, it was not just their bodies that united, but their souls, entwined in the purest expression of love.

He shifted then, changing the angle, and Shino nearly screamed at the spike of ecstasy that shot through her. Naoya made a pleased noise, angling to hit that spot inside her again and again, and Shino was helpless under the onslaught of pleasure.

"I can’t—it’s too much—," she managed, so close already that she was trembling apart under him

"I've got you," Naoya said, slipping a hand between their bodies. He rubbed at her in time with his thrusts and Shino shattered, crying out his name.

Naoya kept thrusting into her oversensitive body, before shouting out her name as he found his own release.

They collapsed together, breaths harsh in the silence, and Shino curled into his embrace with a happy sigh.

Shino's heart swelled beyond containment. Years of hidden yearning spilled from her in quiet sobs, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. Her hands reached for him, fingers tracing the lines of his back where she'd marked him, wanting to memorize the feel of his skin against hers.

Concern flickered across Naoya’s face as he noticed the tears. He cupped her face, his thumb brushing away the wetness. "What did I do?"

Shino's heart ached at the panic in his voice. "Nothing," she said quickly, reaching up to cup his hand over her cheek.

"But you were crying," Naoya said, frown deepening. "Did I hurt you?"

"You didn't hurt me," Shino interrupted before he could spiral further into guilt. She smiled up at him, hoping to ease the worry in his eyes. “I’m just so happy.”

Immediately, a grin spread across his face. He drew Shino into a tight embrace. "Me too. I'm so happy right now," Naoya murmured into her hair. His hands roamed her back, fingertips tracing the curves of her spine, memorizing the contours of her body.

Shino sighed contently, nestling into Naoya's embrace. His warmth and the steady beat of his heart soothed her. Here, wrapped up in Naoya's arms, she felt more safe and cherished than she ever had before.

"Thank you," she whispered, tilting her head up to meet his gaze. "For loving me. For giving me this chance at happiness. You've made all my dreams come true."

Naoya's expression softened. "You deserve every bit of happiness in the world," he said, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "And I'm the lucky one, to be able to be with you like this. I’ve gotta be the happiest man alive."

Shino's eyes stung again.

"No more crying," he chided gently, even though his eyes were bright with emotion as well. "Today should be happy. This is a new beginning for us."

Shino found Naoya's hand and laced their fingers together, marveling at how perfectly they seemed to fit. She glanced up at him through her lashes, heart stuttering at her own boldness. "The start of forever."

"Forever," Naoya agreed without a hint of hesitation. Saki might kill her when she found out they’d made this promise alone, but she couldn’t find a reason to care when Naoya shifted to cover her body with his again.

[windsfavored]

mortal  greed  for  immortality  —  that,  too,  is  something  the  wanderer  is  more  familiar  with  than  he  CARES  to  be.  if  he  closes  his  eyes  now,  he  can  still  see  the  harsh  glare  of  the  operating  lights.  feel  the  cold  scrape  of  a  scalpel  grinding  against  his  breastbone  —  an  incision  made  with  the  unwavering  hands  of  a  skilled  surgeon.  (  or  scholar,  as  that  man  was  so  insistent  on  calling  himself.  )  his  own  anatomy  is  a  disturbing  mix  of  human,  machine  and  something  eerily  reminiscent  of  irminsul  itself.  he's  knows  each  grotesque  part  more  than  he  could  ever  possibly  care  to  —  watched  them  be  extracted,  examined,  and  reinserted  like  the  pieces  of  a  gore-stained  puzzle.  he's  woken  up  to  find  sections  of  himself  strewn  across  the  room,  still  capable  of  feeling  every  cruel  incision.  skin  peeled.  body  injected  with  every  poison  imaginable.  nothing  provided  to  dull  the  pain  —  nothing  CAPABLE  of  doing  so,  as  if  even  his  own  anatomy  wanted  to  see  him  suffer.

...  ren  opens  his  eyes  and  takes  a  shuddering  breath.  he  crosses  his  arms,  dull  nails  biting  into  his  flesh  —  a  REMINDER  to  keep  him  grounded.   ❝  i'm  well  aware. ❞  the  wanderer  says.  even  those  simple  words  feel  HEAVY.  ❝  there's  a  reason  why  i  make  it  a  point  not  to  share  the  truth  with  anyone. ❞  there  are  few  things  in  this  world  he  fears  more  than  being  reduced  to  a  test  subject.  never  again;  even  burying  himself  alive  would  be  preferable.   ❝  the  fatui  tried  to  extract  this  body's  secrets  —  though  ultimately,  what  they  did  manage  to  learn  was  destroyed  due  to  lord  kusanali's  efforts. ❞   he  can  only  hope  ERASING  himself  threw  an  even  larger  wrench  into  the  doctor's  efforts  to  recuperate  his  losses. 

that  being  said,  ❝  i  can't  be  destroyed. ❞   obviously;  it's  his  most  objectively  USEFUL  quality.   ❝  my  creator  also  tried  abandoning  me  in  a  place  where  i  wouldn't  be  found ...  that  was  equally  unsuccessful. ❞  attention  flicks  back  to  cyno.  he  waits  a  moment,  allowing  the  words  to  SINK  IN  —  the  true  meaning  of  an  existence  so  intimately  linked  with  the  concept  of  eternity  itself.  ❝  knowing  that,  wouldn't  the  most  RESPONSIBLE  thing  lord  kusanali  could  do  under  those  circumstances  be  to  take  me  under  her  wing ...  and  ensure  that  i  don't  fall  into  the  hands  of  someone  who  might  use  me  to  pursue  those  SINFUL  aspirations? ❞  if  the  only  other  alternative  would  be  to  unleash  him  in  this  transient  world,  with  neither  guidance  nor  protection?  ❝  her  actions  wouldn't  be  in  defiance  of  your  rules,  but  deference  to  them. ❞

Good thing Ren had put his hands forward with that statement; he'd read Cyno well in that he initially assumed the Wanderer was speaking out of sheer arrogance. Reining that bubbling irritation in, the matra listened, and by the time Ren fell silent again, most of that anger had subdued, returning to the bottom of his soul like hot lava at the base of a dormant volcano.

"... You'd think like that. This is why you are Sin. Not a Sinner." He said, tired but stern, with a clear implication: this was the sole reason he'd given up on attacking Ren directly. "But the people who see you... the humans... they would look at you and find temptation. You have seen it in the Akademiya, with the sages. That matter might be considered settled, but people who think like that... they are everywhere. I deal with them, pursue them and punish them every day. I've seen their greed for immortality, and what it can do..."

The misery of the people who had suffered the samsara... The screams of agony coming out of Collei as he sealed the remnants of a God inside her own body...

"... With my own eyes. And on my own skin."

He looked down, pushing away the faded memories from the Temple of Silence, and the suffering he had to endure to survive the fragment of Ba sunk deep within his own body. Still, one hand reached up to soothe that spot, coincidentally close to where the Anemo Vision rested on the Wanderer's chest.

"The pursuit of eternal life and godhood does nothing but breed pain and grief. And the people fool enough to desire it are always looking for a key good enough to look like it'll fit." Cyno says in the end, looking back at Ren.

[rea-can-yeet]

Y'ALL MY FAVE YOUTUBE CHANNEL DROPPED A NEW VID AND I WAS EXCITED YET WASN'T EXPECTING MUCH WHEN I SAW THE NOTIFICATION BELL, BUT WHEN IT WAS ABOUT GENSHIN AGAIN I HAD TO JUMP IN.

And guess what?

IT HAS GIVEN ME MAJOR BRAIN ROT FOR SAGAU Y'ALL

Okay okay, video tldr; the reason why the 3 archons are okay giving their gnosis to the tsaritsa is because they support her idea of rebelling against celestia because they want to change their destiny(?) and not have these somewhat commanding heavenly government doing some divine intervention. Basically, letting the course of nature ran freely. They no longer wanna be tied to celestia.

Of course, this was just a theory, a GAME THEORY- *ahem anyway

so the video was great WHICH BRINGS MY BRAIN ROT

IMAGINE WHY THESE ARCHONS REVER THE CREATOR SO MUCH IS BECAUSE THEY'RE SO DIFFERENT FROM CELESTIA. THEY DON'T GO AROUND DOING DIVINE INTERVENTION. THAT'S WHY NOT MUCH PEOPLE AREN'T THAT CONFUSED WHY THEY LEFT, THEY DIDN'T ABANDON TEYVAT, THEY LEFT IT TO GROW FREELY.

WHICH IS WHY KHAENRI'AH IS INTIMATE TOWARDS WORSHIPPING THE CREATOR IS BECAUSE THEY WANT TO FEEL A CLOSER CONNECTION TO THEM NOT AS A WORSHIPER AND A GOD, BUT MUCH CLOSER AND INTIMATE THAN THAT BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE THAT IS THE CREATOR'S INTENTION. THEY ARE BELIEVED TO BE LOVING AND NOT CONTROLLING. THEY TREAT LOWER LIFE FORMS EQUALLY. THE CREATOR HAS LET THEM, HUMANITY, TO GROW AND THRIVE, TO REACH BIGGER HEIGHTS, ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE.

THAT IS WHY NOT MUCH CITIZENS IN THAT ARCHONLESS NATION HOLD A GRUDGE AGAINST THE CREATOR. KHAENRI'AH WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE WIPED OUT, IT'S NOT DESTINED TO HAPPEN, HUMANS WERE BOUND TO GAIN KNOWLEDGE AND EVOLVE, BUT DUE TO DIVINE INTERVENTION, THEY WERE ERASED.

THAT'S WHY ZHONGLI FAKED HIS DEATH. BECAUSE OF THE CREATOR'S IDEALISM THAT THEIR CREATION CAN BE INDEPENDENT, HE'S FOLLOWING THE CREATOR'S EXAMPLE. HOPING THAT THE CREATOR WOULD BE PROUD OF HIM AND HIS NATION.

THEY SAY ZHONGLI IS THE MOST LOYAL AND DEVOTED ACOLYTE, BUT NOO! IT'S THE TSARITSA BECAUSE SHE STANDS ON WHAT THE CREATOR BELIEVES, AND THAT IS TO LET NATURE RUN IT'S COURSE WITHOUT ANY FORM OF INTERVENTION. CELESTIA HAS SOILED THE CREATOR'S IDEALISM. SHE WILL REBELL FOR HER PEOPLE AND THE CREATOR.

THAT'S WHY REIDEN CUT TIES WITH CELESTIA BECAUSE OF HER OWN PERSONAL REASONS AND FOR THE CREATOR.

remember how an archon's gnosis connects the archon to celestia? Well, maybe also for celestia to have some type of authority over an archon, thus a nation.

THEY'RE THREATENED BY THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER KHAENRI'AH BECAUSE NO ARCHON, NO GNOSIS. NO GNOSIS, NO CONTROL.

CELESTIA MAY HAVE DONE THE THINGS THEY DID IN THE NAME OF ORDER, BUT THEY DID NOT MENTION THAT THEY DID IT IN THE NAME OF THE CREATOR. THEY WANTED THE CONTROL.

That's WHY YOU, the PLAYER, HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT THIS CREATOR. WHEN MEETING THE UNKNOWN GOD'S CUT SCENE, like stated above, HAVE NOT MENTIONED DOING ANYTHING IN THE NAME OF THE CREATOR.

And again, going for the divine intervention route, CELESTIA PANICS AT THIS POSSIBLE REBELLION AND THE ONLY THING THEY COULD THINK OF AS A WAY TO SOMEHOW CONTROL THEM IS THROUGH THE CREATOR.

how?

Then through the player, you.

How exactly?

BY INTERVENING THE LAW OF WORLDS AND REALMS TO PULL YOU OUT FROM EARTH AND ONTO TEYVAT. THEY CHANGE YOU'RE WHOLE ASPECT, YOUR BLOOD, YOUR PRESENCE, ANYTHING THAT DEPICTS THE CREATOR.

YOU CLAIM YOU DON'T HAVE MEMORIES OF CREATING TEYVAT BECAUSE YOU DON'T!

YOU'RE NOT THE CREATOR.

THIS CONCEPT GOES WELL TO ANY OF THESE AUs! NORMAL, IMPOSTER, FATUI. (If there's also others that would match nicely, then add that to the list)

Oh, your grace has no memory of her legacy? You must have been weakened to this state due to you traveling, that's okay, you're still our creator 😊. BUT NO REALLY YOU DON'T HAVE MEMORIES OF THAT AT ALL.

But NO ONE WILL KNOW. YOU'LL JUST ACCEPT IT AS IT IS LIKE ALMOST ALL SAGAU CONTENT. YOU'RE THE CREATOR NOW.

Normal AU? Fluffy, but will have to face off celestia in the future. Imposter AU? Same outcome as usual. BUT

No matter the AU, that doesn't

change the fact that CELESTIA MADE A MISTAKE.

THEY THOUGHT THEY YOINKED AN ORDINARY RANDOM CITIZEN FROM A DIFFERENT REALM, NOOO, THEY PULLED OUT A GAMER. A PLAYER OF GENSHIN IMPACT, A PERSON WHO KNOWS THE INS AND OUTS OF TEYVAT.

THEY THINK THEY'RE CONTROLLING A CLUELESS NOBODY THAT WILL FOLLOW THEIR ORDERS JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE A TITLE THAT CAN BE UNDERSTOOD UNIVERSALLY, THAT THEY'RE BASICALLY HEAVEN GODS ANYONE SHOULD WILLINGLY FOLLOW, BUT NOOO THAT TITLE MEANS NOTHING TO YOU BECAUSE YOU ALREADY SAW THE SHIT THEY'VE DONE.

And the plot twist?

The CREATOR has given YOU PERMISSION TO HAVE SOME POWER WHEN YOU'RE IN TEYVAT

BY GIVING YOU CONTROL OF THINGS, THE GAME MECHANICS.

Well, how the heck did celestia pull YOU out, a PLAYER, specifically, than just any random person?

CELESTIA CAN ONLY PULL SOMEONE EASILY IF THAT PERSON HAS SOME SORT OF CONNECTION TO TEYVAT. THEY HAVE TO PULL OUT SOMEONE THAT'S COMPATIBLE WITH THEIR REALM.

Okay then, why did the creator choose you to gain such power? What made you worthy? And how can a person be compatible to be summoned?

I'LL ASK YOU, who's the creator? Who made genshin impact?

MIHOYO

MIHOYO CREATED GENSHIN.

AND WHAT DID MIHOYO DID WITH THEIR CREATION? THEY GAVE IT TO YOU TO ENJOY.

TO PLAY WITH.

Remember that familiar line that almost exists in most sagau fics? About how Teyvat was made as your playground? I'm sure you've read something along those lines.

TEYVAT WAS MADE FOR YOU. MIHOYO MADE IT FOR YOU.

THE REASON YOU'RE COMPATIBLE IS BECAUSE YOU'VE MADE A CONNECTION WITH TEYVAT THROUGH SIGNING IN AS A PLAYER.

MIHOYO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CONTROL OR INTERACT WITH ANY ENTITY IN THE GAME BECAUSE THEY ALLOWED IT TO, AS LONG AS YOU SIGN UP FOR THE GAME.

ONCE YOU SIGN UP, YOU AUTOMATICALLY GET TO USE THE GAME MECHANICS. THAT'S WHY YOU GET THE GAME MECHANICS WHEN YOU GET ISEKAI'D TO TEYVAT. BEING SUMMONED THERE IS SIMILAR TO LOGGING IN, TO BE ONLINE TO USE THE MECHANICS TO PLAY AND EXPLORE.

THE CREATOR MADE IT FOR YOU.

and that's not all. Things come to light and celestia is desperate and tries to get the acolytes to turn against you by revealing that you're not the creator. You and a worthy (maybe an archon of your choosing) acolyte pulls out an ancient tablet.

It is Mihoyo's note. THAT STATES THAT--

<insert username> IS A VALUED PLAYER AND THAT WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THE MMORPG THAT WE MADE FOR YOU TO ENJOY. WE HOPE YOU WILL COME TO LOVE TEYVAT AND IT'S CITIZENS. HAPPY GAMING!

--love, Mihoyo.

Which seals the fact that THE CREATOR HAS MADE THIS WORLD FOR YOU, THEREFORE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE REVERED ALL THE SAME WITH RESPECT.

You're not the creator BUT YOU'RE THE ONE THE CREATOR HAS ENTRUSTED TO HELP AND OVERLOOK TEYVAT. YOU'RE A DIVINE BEING CHOSEN BY THEIR GRACE.

They mistook the person controlling them as their Creator, but it was you. The adventures they went through, they went it with you. The one that made them stronger was you. The one possessing the divine vessels, was you. The creator's power over Teyvat and their knowledge was passed down to you. The game mechanics and your knowledge about the lore were evidence enough.

So you get this title,

<THE CREATOR'S PREDECESSOR>

Okay I deviated from the video's conclusion, but like I've said, this is just a brain rot. So do whatever you see fit with this trash. Soooooo bye