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pepperpills · 3 years ago

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The Harvest - RE8 Fanfic

The Harvest

A Resident Evil 8 fan fiction by Joana

Karl Heisenberg x Female Reader

Notes: heey, so here is Part III, hope you all enjoy it! i'm thinking of starting a new story soon, once this is ended, probably focusing more on world building and Karl and reader relationship hehe

Warning: NSFW content

Part I - Destiny (1) Part I - Destiny (2) Part II - The Lord

Part III – The Hunt

Getting to know the factory turned out to be a fantastic experience. You had never seem so many different paraphernalia in your live, the closer you had ever got to that was when you were a child poking around your dad’s storeroom, but there were only some tools, agriculture products and inherited ornaments from your cabin family – these last ones were your absolute favourite.

Heisenberg’s factory, on the other hand, was full of interesting things, some of them you had no idea what were used for. You even found a suspicious “torture” room, but couldn’t dig into it, once he was nearby. Still, you found his journals narrating his experiments, his audio reports and some guide books on mechanics that had you intrigued for a long time while reading them. He was a madman, you were convinced, but at the same time, that secluded part of you was growing a little each day you explored his life.

Lord Heisenberg was nicer and quieter than you would imagine. He basically lived in his various offices across the factory, mostly he would be trying new mechanisms on bodies and seeing how they reacted with the Cadou, the strange parasite the villagers mentioned only on rare and veiled conversations. As far as it wasn’t you, or your family, lying cold on one of the stretchers, you didn’t care. As a matter of fact, you felt tempted to try some things with the gears yourself as you deepen your studies in his books.

At your first days there, you got worried you would have to share the bed with him, which would be much more proximity than you had ever had with another person. The man had already seen your half naked and that was enough. However, he didn’t sleep there with you and you wondered why, once he so enthusiastically mocked you about it when you arrived. Actually, you started doubting he ever slept at all.

You were still a bit scared, though, never knowing if he would play a prank on you, so you were very careful to avoid him for a while - that didn’t endure –, believing you should give him space to get used to your presence after the mood he got into after your reception.

He was disturbed, indeed. His work was getting closer to a crucial point that involved Mother Miranda. He musted be discreet, but it was proving to be a real trial with Soldats activating and running around as lost beasts. Also, having you around actually gave him a new problem.

Lord Heisenberg would walk around the factory looking for material, testing the Soldats and cursing a lot, some of these swearwords you didn’t even know, but started liking how he used them, almost cartoonish. It was never directed to you, of course. He acted like you weren’t there most of the time, in others, when he was more chilled, with less work to do, he asked “how is the mess at the wing, buttercup?” laughing at you blushing at his indiscreet platonic flirts.

You had to find your way around the factory. That place was a labyrinth and a map would come handy, so you drew it on some clean papers you found lying around, loving not to get lost anymore. You hadn’t been face-to-face to one of his creations yet, just saw them on the production lines on the overview of the factory and on some specific rooms. You also avoided it due to fear.

He told you where the wing to be cleaned was and you found it after an hour. It was so incredibly packed with mechanical parts that you could barely come inside to take a look. Huffing, you thought that he could solve that without moving a muscle. It made you mad, but also made you wonder what you were doing there. You cleaned it anyway, as it was your duty and used that waste to build some minor projects.

At the end of your expedient, your hands were orange because of the rusty irons you were moving all day long and you had little cuts here and there, but nothing really bad. As it was going, it wouldn’t take long for you to finish cleaning and could even decorate it for him, making it feel more like home to you too.

You were liking it there. Of course, it was dusty, grey, sometimes rusty and hot all the time, but it was also very different from everything. Once you said goodbye to the cabins, then to the Village and maybe being away from Miranda’s dominance made you feel lighter.

You found some red fabric lying around somewhere, appearing to be forgotten, made some nature sketches on blank papers and put yellow lights on the bedroom and on Karl’s soon-to-be new working room. It looked cosy. You hoped he would appreciate it when he met the reformed wing, until then, you would keep quiet not to bother him.

Though, shortly after you finished decorating the bedroom, an event destroyed your plans of avoiding Heisenberg. On your daily route to what you would now call your wing, you crossed the kitchen and found an overcoat-less Karl trying to prepare a sandwich. He had any chef’s nightmare happening in that place. There were blunt knives flying around, a metal cup chasing the kettle spilling hot coffee all over the floor as he tried to open a bottle of whiskey and, finally, hot coffee hit Heisenberg’s chest and he screamed and cursed like a sore animal.

“FUCK!” He thundered, his word echoing in the corridor where you stood.

You couldn’t ignore that scene even if you tried. You were getting tired of not talking to him, you lived together now and all your few friends were slowly becoming distant memories. You would be happy to hear his voice, something else than gears rumble, even if it was cursing your predecessors.

As a powerful person, he would try to use his powers to do simple things and do a real mess instead. You felt compelled to give him some support, maybe it was a part of your mother’s care for others that lived in you too. You entered the kitchen headstrong, holding a laugh at his misery looks. Now he was stroking his shirt with a cloth and only noticed you when you were getting around the island.

You didn’t know, however, he never “never noticed” you. He felt your presence at the corridor before you saw him and he felt ashamed of you seeing him failing at a stupid task, and so forth his reaction was to be boorish.

“What?” He asked in a rude tone.

“Just let me help.” You offered, placing your hand in the air between you two. It wasn’t really an offer, you were just being polite, you would help him one way or another, you would have your small talk, but he wouldn’t give up so easily. “Please.” You asked, making the sweeter voice you could.

He huffed and threw the wet cloth on the sink. You took another cloth from one of the drawers – you were getting used to the utensils’ places –, wet it a little with water and looked at him, your head slightly tilted to the right.

“What is it, kitten?” Heisenberg questioned, roughly playful then.

“It is your shirt.” You pointed.

“Yes, it is dirty. Weren’t you trying to help?” He started to lose patience.

“Yeah, I am. It is just… You will have to take it off.” You let it out unpretentiously, although in your mind you were revengeful.

“Oh.” He understood and immediately took it off with so much easiness you wondered how many times he did that when you were so uncertain of it at your first day.

You had never seem him shirtless. To be quite sincere, you hadn’t seen many shirtless men in your life. The Village was a very cold town, once it was deep into a forest in the mountains, so even in the summer there wasn’t a hot weather, so people tended to keep their clothes on. Because of this, when he took it off you instantly blushed at his scarred chest.

He has what you would call a dad body. It isn’t really sinewy, although still very strong with thick arms and defined muscles. He has some belly, which means he isn’t a skinny person, but he isn’t fat also. And maybe you took too long looking at him like that and feeling weird feelings you would think about later that night.

“You’re almost drooling there, buttercup.” He teased you and when you quickly, but gently, started cleaning his chest with the cloth, so you wouldn’t have to answer, he gave up a deliciously loud laugh.

You laughed with him, making him laugh even harder. You didn’t want to admit it, but you liked it, this casual connection between you two. The laugh died a gradual death and you started moving you hand on his chest, feeling its warmth below the cloth. You could almost swear his breathing was getting faster and you saw he was biting his lips, maybe because you were taking too long. You didn’t want to finish, but you both know there wasn’t much coffee on him anyway.

You put the cloth with the other one in the sink and as you watered them, you saw him going to get his shirt that had been laying on the island.

“No, no, no.” You said, taking it from his hands kind brusquely, making him confused. “I need to wash these.”

“I see.” He said, raising his hands to show he wouldn’t try again, as a peace offer that made you grin.

“I can finish your sandwich for you, it will only take a minute.” You added, embarrassed to be so bossy with him.

“I will be at my office.” He told you and left without looking back.

You thought he got mad at you because of the shirt situation. It made you sad, you started having a nice approach. To compensate you made him a really good sandwich with the meat and vegetables you found in the refrigerator. Searching for food there you considered asking him to go see the Duke and buy supplies, maybe even hunt, because you didn’t have enough provisions. Anyway, you also prepared the coffee, poured a glass of cowboy whisky – sipped one, two or three times yourself – and cleaned what was there to be cleaned. It took more than one minute, but less than teen.

You were heading to his office when you heard a muffled noise. It sounded guttural and made you shiver. Electricity running through your body, making you feel hopelessly exposed, only that countered by the alcohol it felt good. You stepped carefully as you got closer to the door. You considered not knocking, but the noise made you knock.

“Just…” He gasped. “Leave it at the door, please.” Heisenberg was painting, but he asking “please” was what made up your mind, that politeness wasn’t usual, so you did what he requested.

You wanted to be around him on that day, but chose to respect his privacy. You didn’t imagine that his mind was blowing with you, he desperately wanted to continue the kitchen talk, but couldn’t give himself the chance once he was so close to perfecting the Soldats.

To ease your thoughts, as you were no longer requested at the factory, you tested your stealth skills and slipped to the forest behind it, caring your bow and arrows determinedly.

You were familiar with that area as you have hunted all around the Village, thus, you knew where to go to find good preys. It was by the lake were the deer stopped to drink water. It was far from the factory entrance, but again, you knew exactly what you were doing. When approaching the lake, you climbed a tree and waited.

It didn’t take long until a lonely deer appeared, unsuspicious. It leaned its head so it could reach the water level and started drinking it. You positioned one arrow, held your breath and did the physics magic. The arrow nailed its left eye. It didn’t scream, it was over very quickly.

You climbed the tree down, came closer to the body and tied it with the rope you brough from the factory. Your way back wasn’t effortless, you were slower due to the extra weight and the lycans sensed its blood, their sounds were all around you. They wouldn’t hurt your, though, somehow, they knew you were with Heisenberg.

It was past four in the afternoon when you reached the factory, panting with the effort of bringing the deer. Heisenberg was poking around for something in his front yard. He noticed you just as you appeared in his peripherical vision. He walked towards you, with an intrigued expression that transformed into an impressed one when he saw the deer.

“Some gifts you have there, kitten, ain’t gonna lie.” He commented, squatting to take a good look at the animal. “How did you do that?” It was clear he didn’t mean to offend, quite the opposite, he was genuinely curious.

“A girl has her secrets.” You answered, when you finally stop panting, shrugging when internally you are fulfilled someone knew about you hunting and didn’t seem mad at you.

He wasn’t even angry you left the factory without his permission, which made you happier. He stood below you with the animal for a few seconds more, than got up on his feed, laid his hands on your shoulders, well, on your skin hunting jacket, and said “You are really something, kitten.”

You fell for his words. You never wanted to feel that dependant on someone’s appreciation for you, but with him it was lighter. Karl took the weight of the world off your shoulders by bringing you there and kind off supporting you even though you had only spent little more than a month together.

“Thank you, my lord.” You spoke.

“Stop it. Call me Karl.” He said roughly, but good hearted. “Now, do you know how to clean this deer?” Heisenberg asked.

Usually, Duke would do it for you, although you knew the theory, you hadn’t much practice.

“I was hoping you could help me with it, Karl.” You suggested, toasting him a malicious smile.

“For fuck’s sake.” But he cursed laughing.

He cleaned this table at the garage and disposed the deer there. You helped him doing the messy job, learning with him what you only saw the Duke doing. It wasn’t pretty, but you were comforted by his presence and obstinacy. He probably did it often as it showed, but didn’t bother to take it slower so he could teach you.

Heisenberg enjoyed that night more than you could imagine. He didn’t care for the Soldats, they could wait, it was nice being around you for a change, not running away from your hair, your smile, your presence. For the first time in his life, he actually had someone who wanted to be around him.

Later your prepared venison, demi-glace, potatoes, a fresh arugula salad and both of your enjoyed dinner at the kitchen island with bottles of dark beer. He was funny, he was tripping over words a little, due to the alcohol, but his stories, oh man… He was a real brat. You told him about the cabins and the hunting. He listened carefully, never judging you and laughed at your silly manners, at your etiquette and, over all, loved your cook.

He slept in the bed with you, tired, amused and drunk, he sunk in his dreams. You stayed up a bit longer, resisting your lazy eyes temptations just to appreciate his scent, it would smell like burned wood.

#resident evil #re8 #karl heisenberg #re village #karl heisenberg x reader #resident evil 8 village #heisenberg #heisendaddy #heisenberg resident evil #resident evil viii #resident evil 8 fanfic #original post #resident evil village #re8 karl heisenberg #resident evil heisenberg #fanfic #re fanfic #the harvest

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incoherentbabblings · 4 years ago

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What are your favourite comics anyway?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay. Full disclaimer. We’re going for what comics I re-read over and over again. Are these comics...good? Eh. Are they bad? No, I don’t think so. Some were meh to wow! when first released that time has either been kinder or harsher to, but I don’t think I have a series or a run or a title which is I like which is like... hot guilty garbage. Though, of course, feel free to disagree. There are some authors on here which people will not want to touch with a barge pole, and I totally understand and encourage not touching them if you don’t want to.

Having said that, here are my favourite popcorn comics (largely Titans and Batfam because I am... basic):

The Flash (2016) issues 39-45 + Annual #1

Having said that, Flash time first. People think Williamson is a real hit or miss writer and I do agree, but I think this whole arc is one big hit. It’s frantic in its energy, I love Gorilla Grodd as a villain, I love the modern Flashfam trying to help, I love how Wally coming in to help totally turns the tide and the mood. I love how everyone looks at Wally like… this guys is powerful, more powerful than any other speedster… but also noting there’s something very fragile about him. I didn’t include Flash War in this because I’m still waiting for the payoff for that angst regarding Wally, but this arc… mwah. Wallace Rudolph West being vindicated as the greatest Flash (whilst allowing Barry to be flawed and to lead his family)? Yes please. Also I love Carmine’s art. I gather it’s hit and miss for some folk but I love the line work. Also Carlos D’Anda’s issue (come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack draw Dick and Roy again your work has gotten so much cuter this past decade) is a beauty too. Big ol’ eyes.

(Under the cut ‘cause this is LONG)

Batman Dark Victory

One of two Loeb stories for me. And yeah sure Long Halloween is objectively better but…jelly bean

Also, angry traumatised Dick smacking a dying man with a stick. What a legend.

Gates of Gotham

Cass! Damian! Dick!Bats! Tim! A mystery villain! World building for Gotham! Stuff exploding! Batfam banter! Trevor McCarthy art! This bizarre panel of Jim Gordon holding Tim’s hand like he’s checking the time?

It’s one of the last ‘pure’ Batman stories before the reboot – Bat Inc aside – so it’s how I like to read the Batfam’s relationship by the end of that universe. Everyone’s a lot more content, proud Dad Bruce, happy and settled Dick and Damian, Cassandra returning home, Tim chopping off the emo hair… it’s all good.

Grayson (particularly #5)

I know why people can’t stand it. The circumstances leading up to it are bog awful. Opinions on Tom King’s writing has only grown more spliced with time. The (sex) jokes are too on the nose and hit too close to home for many. The cheesecake art is too stilted for some. But! Issue #5 is my favourite single issue story. Ever. You never have thought boxes in this series, because everyone is lying, but you aren’t told when. You never know how genuine Dick is being at any given moment, until it is just him and the baby. I love how single-minded it allows him to be. I love how he flat out lies and manipulates to protect that little girl, whilst also caring for Helena. About how seriously he takes his job of protecting Bruce and his family (and that’s why he’s even doing the stupid spy thing in the first place). And maaaaybe it’s unrealistic that Dick could outlast Midnighter crossing the desert, but screw it. Bruce can be better than metahumans all the time. Let Dick get an issue to be so to. Saving a little girl who is probably going to grow up to be akin to Superwoman. Just because he’s given himself that responsibility. He’s going to double cross twenty groups at the same time and come out clean as a whistle. And he’ll cross a desert with a newborn to do it.

Light of my fricking life.

Infinite Crisis

I…I like that things go boom. John’s is very good for that. Also, the Nightwing and Batman moments howowheheheheheheeeeeeee. Almost wish Bruce had shot Alexander. I wonder what would have happened?

(Brief side note: Graphic Audio’s adaptation of this is great fun. I dropped a bowl of cereal at the part of Superboy Prime versus the Titans. Cassie’s scream when Pantha’s head got punched off was a bit…intense. The No Man’s Land one is very good too if you have cash to burn - the voice actors are the same in both and Nightwing’s voice actor has this lisp and I don’t know man... I love it. He’s now the voice in my head for Dick).

Titans/JLA and The Titans (1999) issues 1-25

The Titans are now known I think for not being a very proactive hero group. Books struggle with balancing team dynamics versus plot, and this one is no exception. I know people don’t want to touch Devin Grayson’s stuff with a barge pole. My justification for this is flimsy I accept that, however, the JLA/Titans comic was the very first comic I read when I was like six or seven. I was rummaging through my brother’s room as a nosy kid does and this was at the top of his pile. Thank god for the little info boxes as each Titan was captured/referenced. I fell in love with Kory, I fell in love with Dick, I fell in love with Donna (oh Donna…) and then I tumbled down a hole and pretended I hadn’t until about six years ago. So that’s nice. So yes, this one is one hundred percent nostalgia based.

But honestly, Linkara did a retrospective on this event comic and series years ago, and his reasons for loving it are the same as mine really, so go watch those if you have like five hours to kill. When Devin leaves the comic remains strong for just a moment then... absolutely plummets off a cliff. So I really wouldn’t bother with the second half of the series but hey. You do you.

Teen Titans/Outsiders: The Insiders

More Geoff John’s explosions. My first comic that got bought for me. My brother walked in to the shop and said: “I need a comic for my sister where Starfire gets a good showing” and the men went… ah yes.

Eleven-year old me was like EXPLOSIONSSSSS but also was intrigued by Kory and Dick’s bedtime convos (perhaps…I was a bit under the age bracket for this book - Kory gets a good showing huh?) but uh. Anyway. Also this is when I was thoroughly enamoured with Roy. This crossover is typical Winnick and John’s angsty angst with overly poetic narration and tropey tropes which, combined with what came before and what was to come for the Outsiders, can make both series such a slog to get through, but in isolation, I think it’s a real fun crossover which gave everyone a bit of time to shine and some real fan-ficcy moments (very self-indulgent, and I love that in a comic).

Teen Titans: Year One

I love Amy Wolfram and I love Karl Kerschel. It’s a good intro to those five characters with cute stories. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Batman is demonstrably a major prick in this, even after de-brainwashing, so it’s obviously going with the ‘Dick is only half as functioning as he is thanks to Roy, Wally, Garth and Donna’, which I can get behind 100% depending on what story they are trying to tell, but it’s just… it’s still sad to read. I just think the art is brilliant at giving each of the five very clear characteristics just from their body language, and you know immediately what each character dynamic is like with another.

Batman Hush

The other Loeb story. Again, it has what I like in a Batman story. A mystery, the family, appearances of villains, flashbacks and brooding, fighting, Jim Lee’s Nightwing being hunky… Ahem. It’s a fun read I think. Also, I really like Loeb’s Bruce? I don’t think people talk about it much. But he’s really chatty in his own head. And he’s witty and dry and funny. I like that! Also, Babs is such a backbone of this story. I adore that. She’s treated well here, I think.

Black Mirror

I flipping love this arc. I love it. I love the two contrasting but deeply disturbing in different manner art styles, I love the mystery, I love Babs role in the story, I love Tim’s little appearances and the banter with Dick, I love the weird villains and the terrifying ones, and how you think one is one of the two only to be revealed to be the other or both. I love Dick’s investigation and how he goes about it differently to Bruce. I love Dick’s relationship with Jim, I love the flipping reference to the vultures and owls seemingly following Dick (a whole reboot before Snyder got to tell that story), I love the monologue about how James thinks Dick is weird and weak for his compassion and love, when really that’s his greatest strength, I love Jim wanting so hard to believe James is trying against Babs’s cynicism, but also does try to get an unbiased opinion of someone who is proven good at reading people (Dick) and does what he needs to when his son is actively harming people, I love that ambiguous ending and the questionable science, I even love the Joker’s one (1) scene with Dick. I love this line,

I love Snyder at his best. When he’s good…mwah. Great.

…And yeah. That’s my story.

#dc #dick grayson #bruce wayne #wally west #koriand'r #roy harper #batfam #the titans #the fab five #I love talking about things I like I'm sorry this is so long!#ask and I'll babble #Anonymous

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britishchick09 · 4 years ago

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1984 livewatch

the time has finally come to watch the full movie! it’ll be sad, it’ll be disturbing, it’ll possibly be cringy, but it’ll be a lot of fun! :D

we start out with the mgm lion! noice ;)

epic quote B)

wait why is opera music playing i thought we’d start at the 2 minutes hate

OMG what if they’re gonna hate on opera

this looks like a drive-in movie tbh

narrator: “this is a land of peace and hope, a land of plenty...” OH SHUT UP YOU

they’re showing wheat like it’s little house on the prairie BOI YOU’RE IN LONDON

this is epic propaganda B)

what if the war footage was taken from ww2 and thus... isn’t real :o

HOLD UP is the eurasian war racist?

THE QUEEN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

WHAT ARE THEY ALL SHOUTING I CAN’T HEAR WHAT THE FDR GUY IS SAYING SHUT UPPPPP

oh no it be u (his face is like ‘WHAT IS GOING ON’ and it’s very lol)

julia’s so into this! :o

o’brien’s like ‘ohhh!!!’

look who decided to SHOW UP FINALLY

he pauses a bit before reluctantly joining in yas ♥

OMG THIS IS LIKE A SCHOOL ASSEMBLY STOP TALKING GEEZ

good they stopped!

WOWWW DON’T EVEN LIST SUZANNA HAMILTON’S NAME WITH THE OTHERS GIVE HER A ‘WITH’ CREDIT WOWWWWW

this IS a school assembly they’re going back to work!

winston in glasses *chef’s kiss*

ooh a rotary dial! great use of tech from when the book was written :D

winston’s looking over at syme WITH SO MUCH JEALOUSY lol

what if the words they speak are just random stuff with no meaning

OMG confession!!!!!

poor winnie with his cough :(

this confession sounds JUST LIKE WINSTON’S OMG!!!!

winston: “bugger!” he’s a brit lol :D

epic B)

OMG this guy read goldstein’s book SO DID WINSTON!!!!

i love how the diary is in a brick hole that’s so cool :D

the diary scene was filmed on april 4th just like in the movie so that’s way rad man :D

i want you valley!!! :D

ooh they’re put a smol scene of his childhood in there coolio! :D

he s l e e p

this violin squeak tho :o

OMG THIS IS THE STANDING UP SCHOOL SCENE

it’s not but i can easily imagine it lol :D

he’s a stick omg ;o

when the lady talks to him you know it’s not a recording ;)

lady: “anyone under 45 is perfectly capable of touching his toes” BOI

oh no PARSONS

parsons: “choco rations are going up” c h o c o

parsons: “i seem to have run out of razor blades for some reason’ yeah,,, for some reason... ;)

this is so a cafeteria scene at school

THEY SAW EACH OTHER OMG

♫ i suddenly see him standing there, a beautiful stranger tall and fair, i wanna stuff this weird food in my faaaace! ♫ :D

me: “this is so romantic!” winston’s thoughts: “lemme smash HER WITH A ROCK”

wait did the lady say pineapple grenade???

HIS FACE LOOOL

syme rip boi

the 11th edition isn’t thicc :/

aww winston’s smol nod ♥

parsons: “by 2050 we won’t have conversations like this!” yeah because of screens lol

OMG the food looks and taste like meat but isn’t IT’S PLANT BASED MEAT!!!! :o

parsons just pulled a ‘hey need help with that?’ and put winston’s food on his plate EPIC

julia’s lookin’ at u ;)

YAS PROLES HOPE!!! :D

oh no DON’T TALK ABOUT THE 50 YEAR OLD WOMAN SEX WINSTON

OH NOOOOOOO

he liked the ‘bright red lips’ yet...

THIS CHICK’S LIPS AREN’T BRIGHT BOI

poor baby desperate for money :(

let’s GET THIS BEAT

hand on cheek = doublepluscute ^_^

epic foreshadowing B)

OMG CHESTNUT TREE POEM FORESHADOWINNNGGGGGG

OMG a couple is making out in the bar EPIC

winston’s just like ‘nnope’

OMG THE THOUGHT POLICE WERE FOLLOWING????

he’s at an antique store in prescott bless his heart ♥

mr. charrington sounds so kind WHYYYY

THE BIRTH OF A QUEEN ♥

mr. charrington says ‘4 dollars’ but they’re in london??

YAS BELLS OF ST. CLEMENS!!!! :D

winston: “what was that?” mr. charrington: “something old.” no DUH

they see each other againnn!!!!! :D

winston writes that he hates her SAME WITH A LOOK LIKE THAT

OMG SMOL WINNIE BIG O’BRIEN????? :o

his mom is lying dead in the field like the erza kid in ‘kirsten’s promise’ :(

he’s just... staring

OMG SPYING ON THE SPICY STARING ACTION :o

she PLONKED

that ‘ow!’ was so fake jules!

this is like anna and hans but not as bad underneath!

julia: “it’s nothing!” but this is turning out to be something... ;)

we’re half an hour in and wowza it’s gone by so fast! :D

winston: *gets a cute love note from julia* YEET!

THE HELICOPTER IS BACC!!!!! they’re really not making the spying subtle

OMG THIS IS THE THOUGHT CRIMINAL SCENE YAAAAS!!!!! :D

winston is the best plummer confirmed

kid: “you’re a thought criminal!” winston: *gives a slight ‘wha’ face and smiles* ICONIC

the crowd is clapping and cheering over the war yet winston’s not doing anything SAME

jules is just scooching by lol

HAND HOLDING WHILE PASSING A NOTE OMG ♥♥

the sky does exist! :o

the telescreen has some great music :D

winston’s joining the ‘big man’s hiking group’ suure you are... ;)

the train is going to the beat of the kids’ singing coolio! :D

big brother is called ‘bb’ yas bby!

YEEES THE I WANT YOU VALLEY SCEENE!!!!!

the lq audio made the twig crack and the leave brushing really weird lol

winston: “i want you.” I-CON-IC!!!! :D

THAT SMIRK THO

winston: “i want everyone corrupt.” julia: “i’ll suit you, then. i’m corrupt to the core.” *mal screech*

OH NONONONOONO SHE GONNA TAKE HER TOP OFF BI PANIC BI PANICCC!!!!!

she really went commando huh

ALL THE WAY

the sex looks like it hurts NO WAY MAN NOT FOR ME NNNNOPE

i’m glad it was only a part you couldn’t really see and not a full on thing I DON’T NEED THAT

awww she’s so peaceful after big naughty :)

this is vaguely gay...

aww winston’s hair ruffling in the wind ♥

c r o n c h

also did he just cronch into a potato???

OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE SCHOOL

teacher: “when the orgasm is finally eradicated...” totally julia: “NOT ON MY WATCH”

winston is the kid who smokes in glass while julia is the one kid who Just Doesn’t Care lol :D

thoughtcrime THIS IS THOTCRIME

wow syme is still alive?

julia: “you dropped your ink pencil” you mean pen?

winnie’s back in prescott! :D

the room is 4 bucks a night noice B)

BACC TO THE H8 BBY

the modern say 2 minutes hate is probably just a livestream with kids texting ‘h8 xd’ in the chat lol :D

winston’s thoughts: “she who is so careful...” boi she threw a dictionary at the telescreen in the book THAT’S SO NOT CAREFUL

hey girl CUTE LQ SMILE YOU HAVE THERE!!! :D

YAS THE REAL COFFEE SCENE!!!!! :D

she has so many smiles YAS!!!!

she’s so eager with showing him I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JULES ♥♥♥

she says ‘real sugar, real bread’ and... jam

winston: “how did you manage to get all this?” jules has her ways... ;)

winston: “i want you” julia: “i want you too” YAS :D ♥♥

the thiccc singer is here!! :D

she’s so pretty! ♥

aww the stroke ♥

his hands are shaking as he touches her :(

winston: “freedom is the freedom to say two plus two equals four. if that is granted, all else follows” iconic!

YAS THE PAPER!!! :D

it be gin time ;)

he scratches the face off the gin bottle woah :o

I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS IS O’BRIEN :o

winston’s little ‘yes!’ at getting the 10th newspeak dictionary ♥

that’s a look of longing my friends! :o

winston: “the call has come. all my life i’ve been waiting for it...” and now he’ll go into the unknown... ;)

AAND we cut to naked julia eating an apple! slight bi panic

she’s touching the paperweight queen love it ♥

SHE KNOWS THE CLEMENS YAS!!! :D

julia: “i just know it!” BOI YOUR G-PA HELPED OUT

winston: “the only thing to do is to walk out of here before it’s too late” thus my ‘julia lives’ au comes in! :D

winston: “never seen one another again” ...oh he was talking about that NOT IN MY AU SON

julia: “you do, i do.” omg marriage :o

YAAAS JULSTON KISS!!!!!!! :D

fluffy! ♥

julia: “i love you.” awww :)

winston: “julia. do you think the resistance is real?” julia: “none of it’s real.” STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER!

♥

OMFG THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION :o

work is scrambling like eggs!

poor headache bby! :(

epic B)

winston’s dreaming of his bishy selfish chocolate mom adventure!

the rats were there when his mom and sister were vaporized! :o

she’s in the dress! ♥

they’re talking about betrayal and julia’s like ‘they can’t do that!” OH BOI BUT THEY CAN!!!!

julia: “they can’t get to your heart” aww :)

awkward...

winston sees o’brien WITHOUT JULIA THE F????

this feels like the principal’s office lol :D

o’brien’s voice is so deep and british ♥

the way he clutches the newspeak dictionary is so cute! :D

aww he’s stroking the pages as he reads :)

the oceania anthem sounds russian :o

YAAAAAAAASSSS!!!!!!! :D

so soft ♥♥

winston: “julia, my love.” MY LOVE MY LOVE AHHH!!!! :D

YEES THE COFFEE SMILEEE!!!!! :D

she’s hungry... she wants coffee... who’s gonna tell her coffee isn’t food?

omg i saw winston butt :o

winston: “she’s beautiful.” julia: “she’s a meter around the hips easily” winston: “that’s her standard of beauty.” YAAAS!!! :D

winston: “the future is ours.” YAS

OH CRAP THEY SAID ‘WE ARE THE DEAD’ NOOOO

mr. charington is loud compared to how i thought in the book

his ‘you are the dead’ should’ve been quieter like winston and julia’s then he could be loud!

FBI OPEN UP!!!!!

charrington: “here comes a candle to guide you to bed, here comes a chopper to chop off your head!” OHHHH NICE ONE MR C!!!!!! :D

RIP TO A QUEEN :’(

i should be a bit more heartbroken BUT THAT MR C RHYME MAN

OMFG THEY JUST BEAT UP JULES

SHE’S IN SO MUCH PAIN NOOOO :’(

why does he look old

awww :(

delete the drunk old lady BUT GIVE US PARSONS SUUURE

i dread the scene to come...

parsons didn’t say that he said ‘down with big brother’ so that’s a bummer :/

aww poor parsons he’s crying! :(

oh SNAP room 101!!!! :o

poor parsons but at least that scene wasn’t a thing!

OUCH THAT SMACC LOOKED LIKE IT HURT

is this leading into the bloody mouth scene? I STILL NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS

winston doesn’t know where he is IT’S THE I WANT YOU VALLEY!!!

hold up this is just a vision ok BUT WHERE’S THE BLOODY MOUTH SCENE

frankenstein and spirit halloween called!

also o’brien flipped the switch without warning BISH

o’brien: “you suffer from a defective memory” and you suffer from a BISH MEMORY SIR

remember winston it’s all in the mind... ;)

WHY DID O’BRIEN SHOCK WINSTON HE SAID FIVE

'how many fingers’ is a trick question because winston sees four YET WE SEE FIVE OHHH

mother gothel vibes...

awww winston’s little scared squeak :(

winston: “i don’t know... i don’t know!” SAY FIVE WINSTON SAY FIVEEEEE

o’brien’s voice is so calming yet it spouts evil words...

julia immediately betrayed winston BECAUSE SHE HAD A ROSEMARY KENNEDY yet she’s somehow still alive without damage by the end???

ooh a new shot! :D

they just faded to black and showed a new angle which is a bit weird...

o’brien: “you’re thinking that my face is old and tired...” because it belongs to poor richard burton!

o’brien just yoinked winston’s tooth out tho :o

mother gothel strikes again!

winston to o’brien: “i love you.” you don’t say that back to jules YET YOU SAY IT TO O’BRIEN BOIIIII

o’brien: “you’re one of us. one of the chosen.” one of us gooble gobble! also ANAKIN IS THAT YOU????

winston just said ‘i love you’ oMG OMG OM WAIT WWAIIITIT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

seconds after she says ‘i love you too’ SHE’S FREAKING SHOT DAAANG NO PUNCHES PULLED BACK!!!!!

aww he called her ‘my love’ even in a dream

so that was the infamous bloody mouth scene and it was quicker than i thought it would be? at least i have a bright julia smile! ♥

OMG winston’s calling for her yet it sounds so weird WHYYY

he’s much improved!

they’re skyping lol

after all he’s been through he still hates bb! :o

ROOM 101 :o

room 101 is a personalized experience just for you! :D

also IT’S A DREAM MIRROR

omg the rats are GOING AT EACH OTHER GEEZ

winston’s squeak at the rats no!!! :(

‘do it to julia’ sounds a bit selfish but it’s the betrayal we’ve been waiting for!

...NOT

uh oh here comes the awkward reunion...

they should’ve said “...sup.” to each other

the bartender saying “on the house!’ tiredly each time is great :D

winston: “thank you for coming.” julia in her thoughts: “yeah whateves bro.” :/

at least they can still bond over something :)

jules gin time ;)

they ratted out on each other true love???

julia: “we must meet again.” winston: “yes, we must meet again.” ...they never met again

but if they did it would be a bro time!

winston: “i have seduced party members of both sexes” BI NANI???? :o

since his crimes are like the guy’s from earlier... what if he didn’t do them and was convinced that he did? :o

in the book he says i love you to bb, but here he turns away and says it... what if he still loves julia? :o

and with that question, the movie has come to a close! it’s a fantastic little film that closely follows the book. while i would’ve liked to see julia with winston at o’brien’s and the drunk jail lady, the cutting of the gross parsons scene, the addtion of the bloody mouth scene and the possibly hopeful ending make up for it. overall, this is an amazing adaptation of such a great book! :D

#livewatch #i bet this is just as good as the book! :D

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sunshine-and-waffles · 4 years ago

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2020 Book-End Review

Here it is! My 2020 Book-End Review. My only consistent New Years tradition.

HARD COPIES

Kingdom of Copper: The second book in the Daevabad Trilogy. Female protagonist, Islamic influenced fantasy world, love stories (gay and straight). Uhg, this was so good. I literally couldn't put it down and was subsequently sleep deprived for a week. I did get a little confused with all the titles and names, but that's what google is for. I haven’t read the third book yet because I haven’t had the time to completely give myself over.

The City It The Middle of The Night- Charlie Jane Anders: Science fiction with female and non-human protagonists. Themes of colonization, the polarization of government, and human nature. It was so hard to get into, but by the end I was completely enthralled and was wishing for more.

Enchantment by Orson Scott Card: Time travel, fairytale (sleeping beauty), Jewish protagonist. It’s simple and enjoyable. I read most of it in the swimming pool :)

All The Birds in The Sky-Charlie Jane Anders: Again, Ander’s books deal with duality, only this time the duality is magic and technology. This book was easy to get into, complex, and brutal. It was so complex, I think I could read it a few more times and get something out of it each subsequent time.

The Lost Gate-Orson Scott Card: The first book in the Mithermages series. All gods are real, coming from an alternate world where their magic and power originates. The gate between worlds has been closed, so the gods' strength has withered. A young boy, from the norse god family, escapes their abusive clutches and discovers his special strength. Meanwhile, on the other world, a young boy observes the palace intrigue and his own powers. The plot is so strong and enjoyable. It’s easy to read, and is well written, which is such a rare quality.

Loving Across Borders: A book on how to navigate multi-cultural relationships. I was hoping this would be interesting and insightful, but I found it to be dry and obvious. The author didn’t include significant personal stories (which is what I find the most interesting and helpful). Essentially, a summary of the book is: Communicate with people, each situation is different, and set boundaries… Duh.

2020 Audio Books

The Polygamist's Daughter - Anna LeBaron: A memoir told by the daughter of a cult leader. It is told from her adult perspective, remembering her childhood which is full of abuse and neglect, and then working through her trauma with a therapist at the end. It was an interesting enough story, but could probably have benefited from some editing. I honestly wouldn’t recommend it.

The Heart Goes Last: Freaking love this book. A dystopian future where the poor and disenfranchised can sign up to live in a compound with shifts in a utopian world and then in a prison/work compound. In this setting there is love, romance, and DRAMA. I listened to it twice.

Little Fires Everywhere: Socioeconomic differences, race, art, women’s rights, mother daughter relationships, infertility, motherhood. The book is better than the show.

An Easy Death- Charlaine Harris: Book one of the Gunnie Rose series. A little western/gun slinger genre, a little magic, a little alternative history. A hot Russian magician and a female gunslinger protagonist. It’s not a great book, but I bought the second one, so I guess it was good enough.

A Longer Fall- Charlaine Harris: The second Gunnie Rose book. I actually liked this one more than the first book. The characters seemed more flushed out and the story was more complex. The ending left me wanting more, and I’m looking forward to the third book in Feb 2021. Widdershins-Charles Delint: The follow up to The Onion Girl, the background story is a war between native spirits and fairy, while the protagonist Jilly faces the abuse she endured as a child and the guilt she carries for leaving her younger sister in the abusive home in order to survive herself.

His Majesty's Dragon: Book 1 of Temeraire. Alternative history of Napoleonic wars with DRAGONS. A sea captain unexpectedly bonds with a baby dragon, and has to change his whole life to accommodate it. I really enjoyed that this book has almost no romance. It’s just straight up about the relationship between a man and his dragon.

Throne of Jade: Book 2 of Temeraire. The Captain and the Dragon/Temeraire travel on a mission to China, where dragons are treated with respect and care. The dragon/Temeraire is becoming more mature and the disparity between West and East is highlighted, which causes some tension between the captain and the dragon, as well as between the reader and the book (at least for me).

Black Powder War: Book 3 of Temeraire. I gave up on this series with this book. The main human character’s inability to stand up to society and the government to demand that they treat his his dragon (who’s basically a soulmate) as a whole and independent being was too frustrating.

Moonheart -Charles Delint: This is the third time I tried to read this book, and I didn’t finish it. I just can not get into it. I love Charles Delint, but this book isn’t for me.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone: I love Harry Potter, and with the quarantine, listening to the whole series was the best mental comfort food. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets:Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Midnight Sun: LOL, sorry not sorry. This is trash and I love trash. However, Edward is super self-pitying and creepy. I knew that from the original series, but reading it from his perspective made that feel even more clear. I spent a lot of time making rude comments about Edward under my breath. I’d honestly listen to or read the rest of the Twilight series again, but I’d skip this one.

The Witch's Daughter: Female protagonist, with an immortal witch, and a young female apprentice. I had to force my way through it until the last quarter, and then I was really engrossed. The ending was nicely wrapped up, and I don't feel the need to read the sequel. Interestingly, I really disliked the narrator's voice, but it was the only audiobook I’ve listened to that Kal didn't mind. (Because he hates the sound of audio book I usually use my headphones).

Too Much And Never Enough: Donald Trump’s niece exposes their shared, terrible, abusive, and sad family history. It sheds some light on who Donald Trump is as a person. The psychological background doesn’t make his actions any better, but it helped me to understand how he could be the way he is. Honestly, this book was good for my mental health.

A Deadly Education-Naomi Novik: I LOVED THIS BOOK. In a world where the magicaly gifted are hunted by terrible monsters, magical children go to a school where they have to fight to live. It deals with how inequality in socioeconomic standing impacts students and their ability to succeed… with magic and romance.

The Betrayals: This book started a little slow. The characters are all flawed and make terrible mistakes because they are too proud. There is romance, magic, and redemption; I enjoyed the ending, but there were so many emotionally tense moments I wouldn’t say I enjoyed the book as a whole.

Caraval: Sisters escape their abusive father to become embroiled in a magical game where what is real and what is fake is unclear. Magic, romance, sisterly love, and mystery. The writing isn’t perfect, but I enjoyed the ride of this book.

Currently Reading:

Hard Copy: The Gate Thief, Book 2 of the Mithermage Series.

Audiobook: Legendary, Book 2 of the Caraval Series.

Poetry: Salt

I read/listened to 29 books this year. I'm tempted to try to finish a 30th before my 30th birthday on Monday. We'll see if I make it :)

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rigelmejo · 3 years ago

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random thoughts:

i want to do a guardian print novels comparison lol.

i have a simplified edition which in some ways is excellent: it has the kunlun prequel text, all of the extras, the chapters are edited in a way that clearly indicates priest polished it up to make the story ‘better’ (priest changed chapter 1 from Guo Changcheng seeing a random guy with no legs to Zhu Hong’s tail and fainting, adds details to a lot of chapters). The only thing its missing is the explicit sex scene (I think - it might even have it for all i know, but i’m guessing not since that’s usually cut out of simplified print novels i think?). But like in general - my simplified chinese Guardian novel seems to be the most complete version of the novel as far as final edits/extras. This isn’t necessarily the link I bought from, but this is the simplified print version I have (aliexpress does have a lot of priest books for sale).

I just got the traditional character version of the books (which is so beautiful WOW the covers and inside looks so nice). So far, its chapter content is more like the webnovel (so no scene edits/details added like my simplified version, no Kunlun prequel). There are a few edits of wording on small things (suddenly versus abruptly, next/then, that kind of thing). I don’t think it has any of the extras, so its not the original traditional published version with the shen san extra (i thought it was?). So upside is my simplified copy does seem to be the most complete, and the traditional one i have matches the webnovel most if i wanted to compare differences. Downside is i’m surprised the traditional version has so little content? This is the traditional print versions I bought, volume 1 and volume 2. That site can be ordered from in english, worldwide.

feeling the urge to do something with japanese again but i don’t know what. logically, doing nukemarines memrise decks is... probs the most effective thing to do. i don’t feel like doing flashcards though.

i kind of feel like listening to japanese core 6k or japaneseaudiolessons, just because i can just play them in the background (easier mentally than flashcards). maybe reading japanese audio lessons basically textbook - but that’s if i feel like reading?

also just kind of. feel like playing a video game - maybe kh2 since i know the game well enough i can still ‘speed play’ if i don’t want to slow down and read everything on screen (whereas persona 3 and crisis core took 1 hour to get to save points since i had to slow down and read everything). i read some scripts yesterday in japanese... and watched some shows yesterday (though that hardly counts since they had eng subs). my mind just wants to ‘do’ things, not really do flashcards lol. so like? listening, watching, playing - my brain thinks it sounds fun! but reading lessons/doing flashcard drilling of study materials, i feel tired lol...

i also kind of. just want to do some challenge for myself like: do clozemaster japanese for 1 month and see how much i get through/how much i improve? or do japaneseaudiolessons for 1 month and see how far i get etc.

chinese wise: i officially re-did all 12 chapters of Guardian with Listening Reading Method step 2 with the other audiobook by wheat. Now I’m officially on a new chapter 13, with avenuex’s audiobook, and going back to doing step 2 AND step 3 (for vocab). Again, as SOON as i switch to avenuex its easier to follow what’s going on without looking things up - i think part of it is the way she narrates sort of... slows down and speeds up depending on the emphasis in the sentence? so its easier to catch exactly what’s key info/characters interacting versus description. and also her voices for everyone are more different, and she edited in guardian drama music so a lot of the scenes i bet have some ‘ingrained’ memory from when i watched the show helping me recognize the scene that’s going on. i imagine for ‘comprehensible input’ this version just has a lot more i ‘get.’ also just in general i love her audiobook ToT.

though wheat’s is really nice! i like wheat’s voice and would love to talk like them. For shadowing, I find wheats is really good because the audio is mainly just voice, and a deeper voice (which i both would rather sound like and find easier to identify the words clearly as far as for repeating), and all an even speaking speed except dialogue - so i can repeat after what wheat says in small phrase bursts without falling behind too much. So for listening in the background, more general listening practice, and for shadowing practice i plan to use wheat’s more.

while step 3 is more focus intensive, i think doing it once minimizes how many words i have to look up in step 2 and how many times i feel step 2 would benefit me. when i skip step 3 i feel like i could do step 2 for 3-4 times and keep picking up a lot of new words. so to speed up progress, probably just going to do step 3 then step 2 again (or step 2 then 3 we’ll see).

L-R method has really helped my vocab for guardian ToT i have no problem reading the traditional version now. i also have far less trouble reading new chapters for the first time (still have words i need to look up, just its not enough to prevent me from following the main idea and details). I’m really glad I decided to try L-R method with guardian. I’m really excited how this is going to affect reading other priest novels later (or L-R tian ya ke, sha po lang, mo du). Because i can already notice it making Mo Du a bit easier. and i’m only 13 chapters in out of 100+ plus extras. I notice it makes reading and listening skills better. I don’t know about its claim from some of “from A1 to B1″ in 30 hours (which is what someone did with Italian, with some previous romance language study). Because I was probably like a A2 or weak B1 when I started trying this? (Idk I was like HSK4 with a smattering of extra passive knowledge that didn’t line up to HSK 5-6 exactly, so i could read Xiao Wangzi and watch Shan He Ling etc but only knew like half the words on HSK 5-6). So I don’t know if for a beginner, if L-R method for chinese would get them very far, or how many hours it would take. I’d say for a beginner-intermediate learner though, it will boost your listening level quickly (vocab a bit slower but i do notice progress now). And since listening level can fall behind reading, that’s a nice thing.

I read about someone who’d done L-R for mandarin for 300 hours though with less progress made though and i’m still curious why. Because i’ve done about maybe 30 hours and seen a lot more - idk if just having a base in chinese first helps a lot (like i got the 300+ hours basic learning done before i even tried L-R method and they just need to get through their hours to hit milestones too), or if they do something different. But given that experience, i do think if L-R isn’t giving small noticeable progress at least every 5 hours or so (and reasonably noticeable progress like easier listening comprehension of previously studied chapters or learned some handfuls of new words in 10 hours) then it makes sense to switch it up or try something else. like for me - switching to a literal word for word text using pleco dictation-translate tool has been much more effective. i would guess in part because its word for word so i don’t have to put in mental effort to re-arrange sentence grammar to the words i’m hearing in the audio (but more effort to know chinese grammar so not as helpful as a beginner in some ways unless u understand the story beforehand with step 1 reading the text in a language u understand). and in part because it keeps my translation synced to the audio so i don’t lose my place, can replay portions, and don’t therefore waste time being as mentally drained or confused. and doing step 2 in pleco (or anything with a quick click dictionary) so i can see some definitions with step 2.

still kind of want to just binge the videos on “learn korean in korean” youtube channel. he just makes such good lessons even though i’m not really studying korean.

also... mmm... korean clozemaster... mmm (i would probably learn nothing because translations do not tend to be literal for many asian languages on there so chinese and japanese only work for me cause i know enough words/grammar already to catch when things are not literal/outright wrong)

#june #june progress

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feuilly-cakes · 4 years ago

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New Moon - Review - 3*

The problem with first-person narration is that when the main character is in distress you can't have fun reading the book, because everything is coloured with that viewpoint. As a result, I was more annoyed by this than I needed to be, because of the way Bella changed and also Edward's actions. It did, however, do some cool things too, in the way of important messages and descriptions of poor mental health, and also what it's like to begin to recover from that. So this was less enjoyable than Twilight, but not less important to read. Spoilers beyond this point Bella starts off on a high note, with a new-ish job at the Newton's shop and a close relationship with Edward and Alice, who are both friendly or even besties with Charlie in Alice's case. She's living the dream, and then the birthday party happens, and it all goes downhill. Edward is acting strange and indifferent to Bella, Bella is freaking out about that because she's a smart cookie and thinks he's going to ask her to leave with him, and then suddenly she's dumped, depressed, and hallucinating Edward's voice. It's not a great time for Bella. This whole experience makes her change from a strong, funny, normal girl to a selfish, hypocritical girl with zero self esteem or self preservation. As character growth goes it's not nice but it is realistic and it needed to be that way to further the plot. Let me be clear: she is still all the Bella things of the first book, but it's hidden away behind the depression and desperation and the way she can't think rationally anymore. I want to talk about Edward now, because I now think he's trash and am firmly on #teamjacob for the first time in my life. Edward is so pitiful here that he literally dumps her on the trail to some woods like a moron and then runs away and never expects her to, I don't know, follow him? He didn't think she would be too hurt by him rejecting her either because "how could you let one word break your faith in me?" I don't know Edward, perhaps because it was you that said those words? Also that's very 'let's blame Bella for my actions' of you... but I digress. After he's back he even tells Bella he "was coming back anyway" and "it was only a matter of time." Sir, if you're going to abruptly dump your girlfriend of 6 months and not so much as check in on her, then at least have the willpower to stick to that, because if this were a normal story you'd have gotten punched in the face the minute you showed up. The only saving grace for his character in this book is when Bella uses logic on him to get him to see he has hope for his own soul after all, and he begins to really come around to changing her, so there may be hope for him after all. The Werewolves I'm not going to talk about Jacob much because nothing massive stood out to me, just know that I love him and he should've been with Bella. The way he let her know he was into her and then remained her friend without pushing unless she did something was lovely, and I truly believe that if Edward hadn't been come back it would've been a perfect sequel. I am already expecting that to change in Eclipse because of the thing that he's going to do. Anyway, I also love the pack and wish we got more time with them. They call each other "brothers" and I just wanted some found family goodness and got nothing. I also wish we had gotten more interactions between Bella and Emily, because Bella starts calling herself a "wolf girl" and hanging out with Emily but we don't see that and it's so frustrating. I need a whole book dedicated to what exactly she was doing when she was spending all of her time at La Push. The Vampires. The Volturi are finally named in the scene where Romeo and Juliet is used to foreshadow the whole book. They are also used to foreshadow the rest of the book. Later we discover that they are a family of 5, with 9 main guard members plus an unknown number that changes. This is the information I always wanted to know but never did. Aro has "clouded, milky" red eyes, and "papery" skin. It isn't clear if this is from age or something else, but it kind of creeped me out I'm not going to lie. He also goes on a little tangent about how it "pleases" him that Carlisle was successful in being a vegetarian. This could have been a lie, but remember that Edward is a mind reader and would have given some indication. I actually like him in this book, he's very friendly and as soon as he gets confirmation Bella will be changed he's content to leave them be, though is a bit wistful that they won't join him. Caius is the one who tells them they have a time limit. Onto the big differences from the film -The Romeo and Juliet scene takes place in Bella's living room instead of the English classroom. As does the second half of the Volturi explanation scene, the first half of which took place in the first book. -Bella knows something is going to happen with Edward before he takes her on the walk. -The motorbike scene in Port Angeles isn't a motorbike scene, it's a walking towards dangerous men then leaving scene. -Bella and Jacob go hiking together to find the meadow, and Bella finds it on her own after all that hiking practice. -The werewolf reveal scene where Bella smacks Paul doesn't happen. Bella and Jacob deliberately meet them somewhere, Bella doesn't smack anyone, and Paul loses it anyway. -Jacob gets a grounded Bella in further trouble by showing Charlie the motorbikes they rose together many times, not just once. Parts I actually liked, because it wasn't all bad. -Bella stands up to Edward about her truck stereo in the beginning. It was a good moment. -Bella says that the birthday incident wasn't Jasper's fault at all. -A funny moment: (when Sam Uley introduces himself less than a year after she met him on First Beach:) "There was nothing familiar about his name." (And yes, I checked and she definitely met him, age 19, never learned how to read...) - Chapter 6: Friends. The whole page where Jacob and Bella are giggling and tripping over themselves and each other had me beaming. Such a happy section. -"I wanted to be fierce and deadly. Someone no one would dare mess with. Someone who would scare Sam Uley silly. I wanted to be a vampire." -There's a part during the voting scene where Edward grabs Bella by the face and she's talking to Carlisle and hoping he will understand because it was hard to talk properly the way Edward was holding her face. The mental image I got... he was squeezing her cheeks to the point she was doing fish lips and it nearly had me in tears. -Also with the voting scene, Rosalie votes against Bella, but she has no aversion to being her sister, only a vampire. Bella then tells everyone she feels the same about them as they do as her, which hurts Rosalie, and Bella realises that could be taken the wrong way. She didn't mean it in a bad way and the fact that Rosalie got hurt shows how their relationship is already developing from the first book. I found this part interesting and lovely to see, as I used to see it as a very abrupt friendship in book 4. There was no outright offensive language in this book, however there were several instances of questionable and uncomfortable behaviour, so I'll be listing them below. -When telling her about the birthday arrangements Edward and Alice don't listen to her protests, and pretty much force her into going to a party she doesn't want. It's creepily reminiscent of the prom incident, only with much worse results. -The Port Angeles post-cinema scene. Bella endangers her own and Jessica's life just to hear a hallucination of Edward. She then decided they were "probably nice guys. Safe." and just walked away, after realising they weren't the same men who wanted to r*pe her in book 1. She then thinks that Jessica is upset because she "must have really offended her" and not because she risked her life and well-being on a whim. The whole mindset Bella is in here is obviously not a healthy one, and I think we as readers are supposed to understand that and empathise with Jessica, but I can't be sure, and either way it's really bad and reckless behaviour. -Bella describes Leah as "exotic" which is not only weird but incorrect. Leah is native american and therefore the opposite of exotic. Leah isn't an animal, she isn't unusual or from far away, she's a person living in the place she was born, and it's beyond weird to call a person 'exotic'. -Jacob is back at it with the weird hatred of his own tribe. Pre-werewolf anyway. Before I get into it, I'd like to remind you that Jacob is not a real Native American because he was written by a WHITE woman, and therefore anything he says is a reflection of Stephenie Meyer and not of an actual Native American person. Now that's out of the way, Jacob is telling Bella about Sam Uley's behaviour, and while doing so he says this: "They're all about our land, and tribe pride... it's getting ridiculous." In the context of the book only, he's talking about how Sam's pack (though he doesn't know it's a pack yet) have become "protectors" and he thinks it's weird. In the context of who the author is, however, it's a bit more complicated. This line makes it seems like Stephenie Meyer may believe having lots of pride in your tribe as a native american person is ridiculous, and it skirts a dangerous territory. Remember she is a white woman and who clearly hasn't done research into why native american people are protective of what little land they have left and what culture hasn't been taken from them through genocide. This is your reminder to seek out native american voices, and especially Quileute voices in this circumstance, and learn their opinions and views on these matters. -Quileute is described as "an unfamiliar, liquid language." I couldn't find any video or audio of this language except the alphabet, and so I very much doubt Stephenie Meyer found something 14 years ago. It's my opinion that just like with the legends, she made this up and slapped the Quileute name on it for exploitative reasons. From what research I've done no young person would've known the language fluently anyway because it was dying before 2000 and is barely being kept alive. It wasn't hard to find this out, and as someone who was set to make millions off this book she should have done her research. -Bella's attitude regarding Gianna. She's horrified by her desire to become one of the Volturi, to be surrounded by vampires, and it doesn't seem to click that Bella herself has that same desire with the Cullens. She looks down on Gianna just because the vampires she desires are human drinkers and not animal drinkers, and it's clear she doesn't think of them as the same. All of the Cullens have killed humans or drank from them, so Bella is extremely hypocritical here. -"I mean, 'Fine, I'll move out.'" Bella holds this ultimatum over Charlie's head when he doesn't want her seeing Edward. She's being selfish and childish here, not caring that he's trying to look after her. When Edward left she was ruined, and Charlie is trying to stop that from happening again. Her actions in this scene are horrible and show how little she cares for Charlie, the man who looked after her while she was broken, who is her father. This is where we truly see how selfish Bella has become over the course of the book, or perhaps since being in a relationship with Edward, as in Twilight she would have never said this to Charlie. She may be an adult but she is sure acting like a child. -Finally, the vote. After it takes place, Bella demands Alice turn her immediately, and refuses to listen to reason when Alice tells her she can't just do it right away. She then turns to Carlisle, putting him right on the spot, and demands the same. He agrees but it's not right or proper behaviour, but unfortunately it's behaviour we come to expect from Bella by the end of the book. The switch from vote to demanding she be changed was jarring, and it really rubbed me the wrong way.

#twilight #book review #twilight renaissance #book blogger #book rec #team jacob

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elenajohansenreads · 5 years ago

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Books I Read in 2020

#62 - Girl Gone Viral, by Alisha Rai

The Ultimate PopSugar Reading Challenge: A book published in 2020

Rating: 5/5 stars

It was awesome and I loved it. I think this is my favorite Rai romance novel yet!

I listened to this audiobook while I was ill, and basically did the first seven hours almost continuously one day, then as soon as I woke up the next morning I lay on the couch and listened to the rest. As far as the audio goes, I liked the female narrator just fine, and the male narrator was AMAZING but that's mostly because he has the deep, gravelly-but-soft voice I like best, so your mileage may vary. On to actually talking about the content!

I'm pleased to see I was right in my hope after The Right Swipe that Katrina gets her story told next, because I liked her then, at least as much as we were given of her. Here she shines, an even better anxious-style protagonist than Sadia from Wrong to Need You, my previous favorite novel by this author. (Also nice to see Gia turn up, will we get her story someday? That would be fun!) Katrina has already taken the first steps on her long road to recovery, but this section of her journey is still plenty bumpy and interesting. I loved her, and while I don't generally look at romance heroines as aspirational (they can often be pretty far from it!) I identified with her more than usual, and she makes me want to work harder on myself.

Jas is a damn fine hero for this story as well. Part of me was just screaming "You had me at bodyguard romance!" There's an inherent yearning in those, with the combination of close quarters and safekeeping and devotion. But Jas goes beyond the base level of the trope by also being an incredibly conflicted but thoughtful man, who has a character arc about his own identity vs. his family's expectations and disappointment, one that perfectly compliments Katrina's arc about self-improvement, battling mental illness, and rising above past abuse.

One of my major complaints about this novel's predecessor was that the individual character arcs of the leads didn't mesh well and completely overshadowed their romance arc, but here in Girl Gone Viral, all three story lines fit together perfectly to form what's honestly the best romance I've read so far this year.

#booklr #adult booklr #book review #romance novels #girl gone viral #alisha rai #popsugar challenge 2020

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kounkibou · 5 years ago

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HC: Nagito’s Parents

After a lot of encouraging from friends and followers, I’m actually going to make this post. It’s something that I’ve alluded to a few times in posts and replies, but I’ve never said outright. I’m aware it’s a “hot take” among people who RP Nagito, and that’s why I’ve been hesitant.

It’s my RP blog, though, so I can do what I want.

So let’s do this. Let’s talk about Nagito’s parents and his relationship with them.

One of the first things I do when I take on a character is think about their upbringing and what sort of things they went through. With Nagito, a lot of it was put out there in his FTEs. He glosses over most of his traumatic experiences, but we can tell that’s just how he deals with stressful situations. He’s been through so many of them that his coping mechanism is to hope for something good afterward, to count on his luck to give him something in return for the misfortune.

I mention this because stating something like watching your parents die horribly in front of you in a matter-of-fact way with a smile just shows how traumatic it was for him.

The hot take in this headcanon is simple. Nagito’s parents loved him, and he loved them. I understand where the opposite comes from as Nagito in the first trial says (Full Disclosure: this is taken from Ultimate Luck and Hope and Despair but he says pretty much the same thing in game.) “I’ve never received a compliment for my appearance before. Not even from my own mother.” I’ve actually noticed that this is really more of a trend in the English-speaking audience as most Japanese artists I’ve seen imply a good relationship with them. I’m not sure if it’s a translation thing because I don’t know enough Japanese to read the text or understand the audio, but it’s something to think about.

My problem with this is it’s such an offhanded comment, and he doesn’t elaborate on it in his FTEs. In fact, from those FTEs, we can infer the opposite. This is something my good friend Nova ( @theultimatemusemess ) pointed out to me way back. If Nagito’s parents didn’t love him, why would they take him on a vacation with them? They could afford for someone to look after him while they were gone. If they really didn’t care, they could even just leave him by himself.

I know quite a bit about wills and/or transferring belongings after death, but not much about how it works in other places. However, Nagito received all of their wealth and possessions. We could put this up to inheritance laws designating the child to be the recipient of properties, and Nagito has no other living relatives. However, these two were wealthy. I imagine they either of their own volition or under someone’s advice put a will in place.

Nagito says that his inheritance gave him independence, which is scary considering how young he must have been. He says he was in elementary school. That gives us an age of 6-12. No matter how you swing it, that’s young to be living on your own.

Why does this matter? Nagito was little when his parents died. That’s a large span of age possibilities. Depending on how young he was, he might not remember a lot of his life before. His parents’ death was a big event. Anything before that pales in comparison. Plus, Nagito has lost so many people, he tries to distance himself from everyone. I imagine he tries to belittle his attachment to his parents to protect himself from the grief.

To put it simply, as I said in my tags, Nagito isn’t a reliable narrator in his own story.

That’s all of the canon and albeit limited research I have to offer to excuse my reasoning. Now, let’s get on to the actual headcanon part. I’m going to introduce you guys to Nagito’s parents, who I lovingly put together as I do parents for most of my muses.

All I have as references are doll makers. (This one specifically) In the future, I’m hoping to have actual references for them, but for now, we have this.

Nagito’s Mother

Here’s the ref sheet that I put together for her. It includes a quick rundown of information as well. Note: For both of them, I took colors for skin/hair/etc. from Nagito himself.

As it says on the tin, Miwako is a real estate agent. She’s high up in a particular agency that deals with foreign properties and buyers. As a consequence, she travels quite a bit and speaks several languages. If the agency is experiencing a problem, they ask her to resolve it as she notices details and remembers things that others put in the back of their minds. She’s been known to work herself too hard and fall asleep where she drops.

On the outside, Miwako is stone faced and looks like she’s locked on and ready to kill. It comes in handy when she’s working, but it hinders her in her social life. She cares about other people and their well-being. It’s just...hard for her to convey that properly. The only people who can easily do that are her husband, son, and close friends.

The only problem is her work doesn’t leave a lot of time for her child, who she loves very much. She carries pictures of Nagito on her person and goes from :| to :D when asked about him. Think of Maes Hughes pulling out tons of pictures of his daughter, and you have a good vision of how Miwako feels about Nagito.

One thing Miwako loves is reading. She funds a local library and donates books once she’s finished with them. Her favorite way to bond with Nagito is to read to him, starting his love of literature. Sometimes, she enlists her husband to do silly voices so they can all spend time together. A few times, she’s accidentally read Nagito bits from her own book (sleepily) before opening a children’s book when she gets in bed. Oops.

It was Miwako’s idea to get a dog. Since both of them worked so much, they wanted their son to have a companion while they were gone. Thus, they got Taiki shortly after Nagito was born. He ended up being keeping track of Nagito, who, as I’ll touch on in another headcanon post, got into trouble and got lost frequently. This stressed both parents out because that’s their baby and he ends up in these terrifying situations too often for comfort.

Miwako is really a nice person. She just finds it hard to communicate with others on a personal level. She loves her family, but she doesn’t have a lot of time for them.

Nagito’s Father

Kozei is an interesting character. His specialty is medical research, something that he got an interest in as he grew older and watched parents, grandparents, etc. decline in health. He wanted to come up with ways to help ease the pain of aging and improve everyone’s quality of life.

Partially because of his family name and partially because of his own abilities, he rose up in the ranks and ended up at the top. This is something he isn’t always happy about because he hates doing paperwork and going through valid procedures. He also prefers to do things on his own rather than having other people do them for him. Kozei ends up doing actual work more often than his fellow big-wigs would like. He’s dedicated to his work and truly believes in it.

Personality-wise, Kozei is a bit of an airhead. He seems lazy on the surface, not always dressing formally or caring about his appearance. Getting him to brush his hair is an ordeal. He likes to make jokes and keep things lighthearted, one of the ways he was able to break through Miwako’s tough exterior. He’s a little forgetful sometimes, but when it comes down to it, he’ll remember small things like a person’s favorite color or a food they said they liked one time in passing.

Kozei’s work schedule is just as heavy as Miwako’s, but he gets home earlier and doesn’t have to travel as much. Some days when he feels bad about leaving his kid, he takes Nagito with him and sits him at his desk in his own special chair with crayons and paper. Kozei has so many drawings up in his office, and he’s proud of them. His son made those.

He has the more excited personality out of the two. Kozei’s thing is science. Anything science. Chemistry, biology, physics, you name it. He loves scientific advances and will nerd out about them. He’ll lay in bed late at night and talk Miwako’s ear off about something cool that she doesn’t understand. He’ll explain astrophysics to five-year-old Nagito, who just thinks he’s talking funny and laughs.

If you need someone to pick up your spirits, Kozei is your guy. If he believes in something, he believes in it ride or die, and that includes your friendship as well as his medical research.

Kozei and Miwako’s Relationship

How did these two meet? Simply put, Miwako sold Kozei’s father property, and since Kozei’s father was trying to involve him in his affairs as preparation for the future, he was there. They got to know one another, and on the last day they were going to interact, Kozei asked Miwako if she’d like to meet up sometime...possibly over dinner. At first, she had this face like “Are you serious?” but he did this thing where he gestured expectantly at her with this goofy grin that gradually got more nervous as the silence went on. Something about that tickled her funny bone, and she lost it. This nerd was asking her out, and he obviously knew how much of a stretch it was. She had to say yes, you know? He made her laugh.

They actually dated for a few years since their schedules made it hard to meet up a lot. After a few months, Kozei was on board for the long haul, ready to make the big commitment. Miwako was the more cautious one about things, wanting to feel it out before getting too caught up in the romance. He proposed to her after taking her to the same restaurant they went on their first date. (Obvious Spoiler: She said yes.)

They were fairly set financially, and they both wanted to have a child. However, it took quite awhile for pregnancy to happen. Miwako isn’t the best at doing romantic things, so the way she told Kozei was really just...

Miwako: *walks out* Hey, I’m pregnant. Kozei: Oh. Kozei: Wait what?!

As a couple, they have an open, honest relationship. If they have issues, they talk to one another and make sure they’re both on the same page before talking about doing anything big. Kozei tries to make Miwako laugh when she gets stressed. Miwako lets her guard down in front of him because she trusts him, and he’s a sweetheart. If asked, Kozei would tell you that his wife does most of the hard work and is a genius. He’s her biggest fan.

They’re honestly just really supportive of each other and will do anything to make sure the other is happy.

Nagito & His Parents

Like any new parents, they weren’t experts. They did some kind of silly things. Kozei may or may not have forgotten in a sleepy haze to put Baby Nagito in his crib, and the two of them may have had an exchange something like:

Kozei: Where's the baby? Miwako: I gave him to you. Kozei: shIT! NAGITO WHERE ARE YOU? Miwako: HE'S A BABY! HE'S NOT GONNA ANSWER!

The two of them find him later comfortably on a cushion that fell on the floor.

Because they work so much, they had to arrange for someone to care for Nagito while they were away. They had housekeepers and other staff to help who they paid well for their efforts. (They could certainly afford to, and they weren’t stingy with their money.) A lot of Nagito’s time was spent with a caretaker, but when his parents were home, they doted on him. They loved him very much. Nagito thought the world of them. He couldn’t wait for his parents to get home so he could tell them about his day.

They taught him as much as they could, and he learned some of their behaviors. A lot of Nagito’s body language mirrors Miwako’s, and his excitement about things he’s passionate about reflects Kozei’s. They weren’t in his life for long, but he had a close bond with them. They spent time with him and took him fun places when they had days off so they could all bond.

I wanted to compile some of the funny scenarios I’ve thought of, so here’s a one.

Kozei: Your mother works hard. Without her, I'd be some idiot rambling about science and probably homeless. Nagito: But science is cool. Kozei: I KNOW RIGHT?!

Another where Miwako is teaching Nagito what to do in case of an emergency.

Miwako: What would you do if you found me or your father on the floor and we wouldn't wake up? Nagito: Go to the kitchen and eat whatever I want. Kozei: *snorting*

And one last one after Miwako actually cooks dinner.

Miwako: How was it? Nagito: *not impressed* It tasted bad. Kozei: That's very mean. She went through all the trouble to cook for you. Say something nice about it. Nagito: Thanks, Mama, for trying.

These are just examples of the dynamic and how they’re pretty normal parents.

Their Death

I did way too much research about this vacation they went on. I looked at the location, what things people could do there, and what kind of flights needed to be taken. The last time I checked, it took...three different flights to get from Tokyo to San Cristóbal. (I can’t check right now flights right now are sketchy. Future Tiki who survived the pandemic, fact check me.) It’s a lot of flying.

There’s not a definitive answer as to whether this was right after they landed or right before they took off. I like to think it was the latter because I hate happiness. What’s better than a nice, fun vacation that ends with dead parents? (Heavy sarcasm.) I’m going to go with that.

The basics are that the plane was hijacked and a meteorite the size of a fist killed the hijackers and also Nagito’s parents. The truth of the situation is muddied mostly due to the fact that Nagito only provides that much information. He likely blocked out that memory and is going off of what he’s been told. This is just my take on it, but I imagine his information is so, for lack of a better word, flat because he doesn’t want to remember the situation first hand. His explanation is like that of an outsider, not someone who was there in real time. That and he was a child. (For the record, I place him at about 7 or 8.)

My interpretation of events is as follows. The plane was hijacked still on the runway. The passengers are afraid. These two have a young child they want to protect. They were probably fairly close to the hijackers since we don’t have the details of anyone else being hurt in this situation, though I do think it’s possible there were more.

In order to protect their child, maybe they tried to reason with the hijackers. Maybe they wanted to resolve things peacefully so everyone could go home and the hijackers could get a lesser punishment. Either way, both parties were killed, and Nagito became an orphan.

Now this child not even in double digits is in a different country, his parents just died in front of him, there’s strangers all over the place, and there’s a whole investigation likely happening. He’s terrified and alone. These people are talking around him, and a lot of what they’re saying doesn’t make sense. (Whether it’s the language barrier or just because he’s too young to understand doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s both.) Just imagine how scary that would be.

Imagine this tiny child saying he just wants his mom and dad and that he wants to go home. It’s heartbreaking.

How Nagito Copes With It

I’ve said it several times, but I’m going to put it all right here to make sure my thoughts are together.

Nagito tells Hajime that this event gave him his independence. It was one of the first incidents that showed him his “luck cycle” in action. In hindsight, he sees this event as more evidence that yes this is what’s happening. He looks back on it as a positive to protect himself. He was the last person left in his family, all alone. I like to imagine there were still people who worked in and around the home, but as a whole, he was by himself.

Without fully realizing it, as he grew older, Nagito ended up dealing with this grief by burying the happier memories. He built up this narrative that his parents were indifferent to him in order to avoid mourning them. The reason he doesn’t talk about them, what he says about his mother, how nonchalant he is when he mentions what happened? It’s his way of keeping himself safe. If he thinks of them as people who didn’t have an attachment to him, he won’t miss them. He won’t feel sad.

To put it simply, Nagito fabricated a narrative where his loving parents weren’t as loving in order to keep from feeling the pain of losing them and not having them there as he grew up.

There you have it. That’s the long, in-depth post about Nagito’s parents! If you read through the whole thing, thanks! I’m still nervous about posting it, so hit me up if you have any opinions or ideas or if you want me to talk more about things!

#x Absolute Hope || Text #x Ultimate Luck || Headcanons #x Repressed Memories || Childhood #death cw #parent death cw

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rocknvaughn · 6 years ago

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Transcript of the Audible Sessions Interview with Colin Morgan by Robin Morgan-Bentley

I’ve transcribed the audio interview of Colin done for Audible for our Hearing Impaired or English as Second Language friends. Enjoy!

(Link to a free download of the interview can be found here)

Robin: Welcome to Audible Sessions. I’m Robin Morgan-Bentley, one of the producers of the show. Audible Sessions is a chance to spend some time with authors and narrators and find out what makes them tick. In this episode, I spoke to the actor Colin Morgan. He was in the studios to record The Worldship Humility, the start of a new science fiction series written by R. R. Haywood exclusively for Audible. Despite all his experience on stage and screen, this was the first time that Colin had recorded an audiobook, and so he approached the task with some trepidation.

Colin: I had the notion that it would be quite an intimidating prospect; something that I always wanted to do, but delving into it and looking at the prospect of actually doing it is kind of a different beast. Because you realise, particularly with something that has multi characters and sprawling stories, it requires quite a lot of work and prep. You can’t kind of just turn up and read it like you would when you read a book, so it’s been a bit of an eye opener to me to understand exactly what’s involved in it. But the team here, the building, the vibe, everybody just puts you at ease. Leo, the producer that I’m working with, has kind of guided me along. I’ve had very good helping hands, which I felt that I needed, because I think you can do all the prep in the world, but for new experiences especially, you need people who *know* and who listen a lot.

Robin: So what kind of guidance does Leo, the producer, give you in the studio?

Colin: Leo is not only there for moral support throughout, because you definitely feel like you’re embarking on something akin to a verbal version of a marathon. And so, you do need your little champions along the way. So he’s there on the other side of the glass, so you know you’re not alone in the world, and he’s following it word by word so any corrections that need done, he’s jumping in, any advice on characters that you’ve established a voice for that you’ve forgotten about that you need [to be] reminded of, he’ll jump in and establish and help you with the continuity of it. Because I’m not sure of the character count in this particular book, but it’s certainly--

Robin: It’s high.

Colin: --it’s over thirty, I think. Isn’t it? It must be.

Robin: Yeah.

Colin: It’s definitely over...So you need help in that. I’ve done as much as I can, but you kind of run out of colours after a while to colour code them for yourself, so he’s been great for that. And also just having fun doing it. That’s a big part of it. If it’s fun for us, hopefully it’s fun for the listener as well.

Robin: And it is quite fun, this book that you’ve been reading, isn’t it? Can you tell me a little bit about it, maybe set the scene of the world that exists in this book?

Colin: Okay, I’ll try. There’s a lot going on. You’re establishing a, really a whole set of new rules and a new system and a new world for this novel. We follow mainly Yasmine, who is a petty thief, who is onboard a Worldship. Inhabitants of Earth had to leave and established a series of worlds onboard ships in space, which are all kind of represented as nations. You’ve got the Worldship Humility, the one that we’re based on, we’ve got other ones: the Worldship Abstinence, various other ones, and they’re all existing. So we follow mainly on the Worldship Humility, following Yasmine as a petty thief on board, surviving, trying to score big, get money (which is in the form of credits onboard the ship), to go have fun, have a bit of a life. She’s originally from a place called the Elfors. As the ship is constructed, I think, on 40 levels, the lower four levels are the place where it’s the darkest place. It’s the slums, where people are underprivileged and unregistered, as everyone else is onboard, and aren’t policed, so the police don’t even go down there. That’s where she’s from. She goes up to the other levels, steals, brings the objects down, gets credits for them. That’s her main story. We also follow Sam Gobliniski, who works in one of the shuttles...so he’s in one of the docking stations like working for ships coming on and off. And he’s a little bit of a, I guess you could call him like a bit of a nerd, or a bit of a geek, or a bit of a shy guy. And again, he’s a bit like Yasmine in the fact that he’s a bit lost, he’s a bit looking for something more. And you get the impression of that with a lot of people on the ship. Those are the two sort of main people, I think, that we follow throughout, but as I mentioned before, you’ve got a whole host of other complicated, systematic, political issues going on as well, as well as very dark stories running along side it, too. You’ve kind of got a mixture of, like, action, comedy, darkness, sprawling story; a sort of intrepid adventure.

Robin: Is this the kind of book that you would pick up and read?

Colin: Yeah. I mean, I’m a fan of really good stories and if it grabs you or it interests you, it pulls you along, then in my book, it’s a good book. So, that’s the only criteria for me, and that could be fact, fiction, or any genre, really.

Robin: So I guess that’s an important factor when you’re at what you want to do for work, right? When you get scripts coming in. Is that your main criterion? “Do I like this? Am I enjoying it? Do I believe in this story?”

Colin: Yeah, that’s my main criteria really. Whenever I read a script for work, I always read it as an audience member to begin with. That’s it, and “Am I entertained by this?”. It can be hard sometimes, because you’re aware that there’s a part in there somewhere that you’re being asked to play or you’re being considered for, so you kind of have to shutter that off a little bit and not be blinded by the ‘forest for the trees’ thing. And you really have to look at the forest first, and then there’s a tree in there that you have to be and on maybe your second or maybe third read you can look at that and see what its details are. But I think first and foremost, it’s like reading a book for the first time. You want to experience it sort of untainted as much as possible with no expectations, which can be hard because you often get a lot of the details beforehand of who’s involved, what the outline of it is. But as much as possible, I try to get that first-hand experience because you never get it again.

Robin: And how did you get into this game? If you sort of rewind the clock...Were you a child or a teenager that was performing, that was acting? Were you an actor at school, or was it something that came a bit later? Can you pinpoint individuals along the way that have guided you? Tell me a bit about how you got here.

Colin: I describe acting as a natural instinct, really, for me. There was no defining moment, there was no, sort of, individual who I looked up at and thought, “Yes, that’s what I want to be.” It was just something I just sort of *did*, and that took the form of, you know, either performance or reading or whatever it was that involved, I guess, an element of performance I was just naturally drawn to and interested in. And of course, that leads to doing things at school, you know...your plays and, you know, poetry readings, and whatever it is, or writing your own things and performing them in front of people and seeing the reaction it can have from people is really interesting. You know, if kids aren’t maybe the most confident in life, sometimes if you’re able to be really creative in private and be able to deliver it publicly under a different guise, it can be really, sort of exhilarating. And so, that might be my experience, I suppose, and how it was, if you were to sort of analyse it. But, it was just fun; it was something I really enjoyed doing, and then it’s just about, as you get older, having the guts or having the drive to really pursue it. And yeah, then that’s a different journey you go on.

Robin: And how important is risk-taking for you in your career? If you look for it. Are you looking to push boundaries? Are you looking to do something that you think you can’t do?

Colin: My main rule would be to choose things that I’m afraid of, that I know I can’t do, that I have no answer for. I love not knowing how I would do something, because I think it’s a really good starting point. If you read something and you have a part and you go, “Ah, yeah! I know exactly how I’d do that. I’ve done that before,”...Where do you go from there? There’s no sort of exploration, in my view. That you’ve kind of got all the answers, so you’ve sort of blocked off a collaborative approach possibly with someone who might be able to help you get somewhere you’ve never been before. So I like to come across something that I really, genuinely don’t know how to do, which is scary. And that’s the place to go.

Robin: The day that you got the call saying that Merlin was going to happen, and I assume that was a big moment for you, did you have that feeling of dread, of “What have I signed up for, here? How am I gonna do it?”

Colin: Yeah, always. Every project, everything I’ve ever had, I’ve never really thought, “Yeah...gonna be able to do that okay.” So, for any project I’ve done, there’s always that fear, that element of “I have no idea how I’m gonna do it. What if I fail?” You know, it tends to be the negative things that you think about. And then, when you get into it, you work with people and you get to see the team that’s there for you. Because yes, you’ve gotta come and you’ve got to be prepared, but also, it’s not just you that makes the drama. Yes, people see you on the screen, but a hell of a lot of people go into it there and once you realise you’ve got this network of people who, in this business, are so skilled and so talented and so nice as well that you start feeling a little bit more okay, that it’s not all on your shoulders.

Robin: I guess that’s something that’s a bit more challenging or exposing about an audiobook. You’ve got your producer, or director; you’ve got Leo, or an equivalent.

Colin: Yep.

Robin: But ultimately, it’s just the two of you in a room, right? It’s you and a microphone. Is there something more daunting about that then, say, being on stage with a full company?

Colin: Yeah. Actually, Leo said it perfectly, I think, maybe on my first day, about the challenges of doing an audiobook: that when you, as an actor, get a job on film or TV or a play, you have your role to do. You just do the role and work on that. For an audiobook, you are, as Leo said, the director for yourself. You’re also the casting director, because you have to cast all these different roles in your head of who they could possibly be. You then are the actor, and you’re also the narrator and this kind of script supervisor in a lot of respects by scanning the script and looking, you know, reading it at the same time. And then you have to perform it. You have to do all that! So in that respect, it’s sort of a multi-disciplinary project, which demands quite a lot of you if you want to do it right, and you want to get the most out of it, and you want to challenge yourself. And again, going with that notion of being afraid of something and not knowing, again it was a territory I thought, “Yeah, bring it on!”

Robin: And I know that you’re a big audiobook listener and an Audible customer as well, so can you recommend a few audiobooks that you’ve enjoyed recently for those that are listening?

Colin: Mmhmm. I really enjoyed American Gods, the dramatised version of it that they did. Neil Gaiman’s world is so expansive, that to bring it to your ears off the page is a big challenge, and to rise to that challenge and do it so successfully, I think, was extremely rewarding. Having read the book, it absolutely...it just sucked me right in.

Matt Haig’s The Humans was great as well. He’s someone who’s able to take real life issues and he’s put them in a scenario that both entertains and touches and gets to your heart and your core in a way that is universal. And I think that anyone who listens to that can’t help but be drawn in.

And Philip Pullman narrating His Dark Materials is one...definitely one of my favourite trilogies. So to experience it in different ways and the options to experience it in different ways I think is really essential to get the most out of something. That, yes you have your own experience of maybe having read it, which I had, there was the option that I was gutted I didn’t get to see it on stage, and this *brilliant* audio adaptation of it is a new way to hear it from Philip himself as well, who has a *brilliant* voice for his work. It’s the way to hear it; you’re hearing it from the man who created it.

Robin: And then last question: Are there any books that you love, maybe classics, or things that you read as a kid that you’d love to come and spend a week recording in the studio?

Colin: Yeah, I mean, I think most kids love Roald Dahl’s stories and I think they’d just, they work great for audio adaptations. There’s classics as well: The Master and Margarita, which I know that there is audio adaptations of, but I think that’s a really great, sprawling dramatisation. And then, yeah, there’s the ones that you’d like to read, but you probably will never get to read, and I think we’ve really all got a list of those and I’d certainly bum all those on there as well. All, you know... one million of them! (chuckles)

Robin: Great, Colin. Lovely to speak to you.

Colin: Thank you.

Robin: And good luck with the rest of the recording. I’ll let you get back to it now.

Colin: Thanks a million. Cheers!

#colin morgan #interview #the worldship humility #robin morgan-bentley #audible sessions #4 feb 2019 #transcript #mine

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dillydedalus · 5 years ago

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january reading

why was this january at least 3 months long

unequal affections, lara s. ormiston (audio) this is jane austen fanfiction about an alternate version of the story where lizzy does accept darcy’s first proposal - their ensuing engagement, which (because lizzy doesn’t go off about how she feels about darc in this one) is full of unspoken conflicts and tensions & hella awks. the initial premise needed some suspension of disbelief but once i got over that i found it super enjoyable, pretty believable in terms of character interactions and interiority (darcy is a dick), funny & sweet. i don’t think i will necessarily start getting into JAFF now (tho goodreads rly thinks i should), but this was just. nice. wholesome. also now i want to reread p&p..... 3/5

lincoln in the bardo, george saunders (uni) ya know what i really liked this. this is about abraham lincoln mourning his young son willie during the civil war, not exactly a topic i’m particularly (at all) interested in, but the execution is so cool - it’s told partly thru fragments from historical records, books, letters (both real and imagined) and partly thru the voices of the many ghosts stuck in a kind of limbo in the graveyard, who are trying to get willie to move on, while they themselves desperately try to stay in limbo, bitter about what went wrong in their lives and in denial about their state. & it’s done really well, the polyphony and contradiction of the historical record (one chapter has a bunch of quotes about how ugly lincoln was & then the last is like ‘idk i thought he was kinda handsome’), and the ghosts are so sad & bitter & desperate & hopeful. 4/5

the steppe & other stories, anton chekhov (tr. from russian) bunch of short stories from 1880-1890s russia. to be honest, i found most of them pretty boring, although ‘the duel’ is pretty good, an interesting look at how sticking too closely to your worldview/ideology/morality will probably either make you a useless disaster person or a eugenicist douchebag. some of the other stories were okay as well, but overall: 2/5, i’mma stick with his plays

perfectly preventable deaths, deirdre sullivan teenage ocd witch book! this is a pretty good YA witchy horror book about twins who move into their new stepdad’s castle (yeah he has a castle) in a weird irish village where girls have been going missing for decades. creepy magical-ish things start happening (of course) & our narrator isn’t sure whether her sister’s new age-inappropriate boyfriend is just creepy, or creepy. i love the concept of ocd witchery & the atmosphere is really good as well, but the pacing is off, with slow build-up & a climax that happens way too quickly. also like can someone please say the word ocd it’s not gonna kill ya. 3/5

the priory of the orange tree, samantha shannon gonna be controversial here & say... yeah this should have been a duology. give the world some room to breathe, give the characters some room to breathe (give me another book w/ a cover this spectacular). anyway, this is a bigass book about eastern vs western dragon lore, a holy queendom (go sabran of inys!!), dragonriders, lesbian sword mages, how religion & historiography marginalises women, and magical trees. & like, okay, i wrote a lil thing right after finishing it about how i had some quibbles with it but enjoyed it overall but you know what? the more i think about it/let it sit the more complaints i have and the more annoyed/disappointed i get. 1) i liked all the characters fine, but none of them feel like they have any depth - i feel like i could sum all of the main characters up in like 3-4 words, and while i was rooting for ead/sabran, even this, the most central relationship of the book felt... surface-level. like, there were some big emotional moments but generally all i felt was like ‘good for her’ or ‘that sucks i guess’, 2) this world & its mythology is very much inspired by eastern vs western dragonlore so i understand the need to ground the fantasy world with real-world parallels but the extent to which some of the countries are literally just fantasy versions of real countries was... frustrating? irritating?? this is especially grating as, while inys is very clearly fantasy!britain, there is a lot of cool world-building (religion, aristocracy, history/myth) to make it more than that, while fantasy!japan and fantasy!china are literally just ... ‘what if japan but with dragons’. i did like fantasy!netherlands because at least you don’t see that a lot. 3) so much of the plot is just people travelling to different locations to get and transport different items but most of the travelling is cut short by some magical animal/being turning up and just transporting them in a cutscene.. 4) considering that this is all about dragonlore the dragons sure aren’t as important in the end as the three macguffins of power. 5) i loved so much about kalyba but not where it led, that said i want a kalyba-hawthorn-nurtha backstory. okay that’s it for now but like. idk. this had a lot of potential but the execution was just severely flawed. 2/5

trust exercise, susan choi this was super hyped, especially for a game-changing twist of some kind, but has a rather low rating on goodreads (3.18!) so y’all know i was intrigued. i’m not going to give away the twist because it is genuinely really cool if not really all that original, but this is a really clever & cool book about theatre kids, teenage dramatics, constructing your own narrative and what that excludes, elides, changes, and most of all consent & abuse (some very triggering depictions of sex/sexual abuse here). i really liked this, and am considering buying a copy so i can reread it. 4/5

soldiers of salamis, javier cercas (tr. from spanish by anne mclean) very meta novel about a writer called javier cercas writing a book (tentatively called soldiers of salamis) about a (real) falangist poet who escaped a mass execution & survived in the forest for a while with a group of republican deserters. ‘cercas’ researches, speculates, despairs, talks to roberto bolano (who compliments his previous books lol), and finally tracks down the man who he believes/imagines/hopes to be the soldier who let said fascist poet go, leading him to consider who really should be remembered & written about. made me think about that one poem about reading ezra pount that ends w/ a veteran saying ‘if i knew a fascist was a great poet, i’d shoot him anyway.’ interesting book altho i far prefer his book anatomy of a moment, one of the weirdest & most fascinating nonfic books i’ve read. 3/5

the stopping places, damian le bas (audio) damian le bas comes from a settled british romani family and, feeling somewhat unsure about his place in & connection to the community, he decided to go on a roadtrip through britain (+france) in a van to seek out the atchin tans or stopping places, starting with the ones his great-grandmother remembers from her childhood before the family became settled. he combines the travelogue with insights into romani culture(s) (mainly british) and history, as well as his own family history. it’s really interesting & engaging (the history&culture more so than the travelogue) and le bas narrates the audiobook himself & sounds like a cool dude. 3.5/5

confessions of a bookseller, shaun bythell bythell records a year of working as a second-hand bookseller, with an entry for every day. he talks about the impact of amazon, rude & weird customers (but also nice customers), his weird staff, and some of the books he’s reading. the look into bookselling in the age of amazon is pretty interesting but much of this is banal & repetitive, & if it wasn’t the perfect thing to read in little bits while at work i probably would have dnf’d it. 2/5

giacomo joyce, james..... joyce super short story by my man jamesy joyce that never made it out of manuscript (literal). not much to say about this - it’s interesting to see jj play around with themes while still working on portrait & thinking bout ulysses & the prose is nice, but the whole english tutor feels attracted to his student is a bit... eh. 3/5

#the books i read #one major disappoint but oh well :///#long post

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rat-apologist · 6 years ago

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A Semi-In depth Review of Anna Todd’s After

So I’ve been seeing the trailer for the movie adaptation of this book every five seconds on my Instagram feed, and as a proud dyslexic unwilling to sit down and read it, I listened to the audiobook.

Again, these are all my opinions, if you don’t agree that’s okay.

Here is a quick, spoiler free plot synopsis for those who want/need it: Being moved from Wattpad into the real world of publishing, After follows a girl named Tessa, who simultaneously has the mentality of a five year old and an old man from the 1800’s. She is eighteen years old and is going to college to be an English major. Tessa loves control, planning, and books. She's an introvert at heart, and “not like other girls” (i.e. dresses conservatively, is a virgin (the books words, not mine)). She has a shitty mom and a nice, preppy, boyfriend who is still in high school, and her life is completely planned out. That’s all turned upside down when the poster child for emotional abuse named Harden (harry styles) waltzes into her life during a frat party her first week of college. Your typical Wattpad/teen movie drama ensues.

(the actual review under the cut)

This review is chock full of spoilers for Anna Todd’s book After. If you want a good idea of what I thought about this book without any spoilers I’ll just say this: I can really honestly say I was never bored while listening to this book. However, that is not necessarily a good thing. Often times I was just too much in awe of the clunky writing and truly evil supposedly “redeemable” characters to be bored. On a one to five star scale, I’d probably give it a two. More on that later.

Here are the things I liked:

(this one is only applicable to the audiobook) the narrator was amazing, her voice acting was very appropriate (though she did tend to drop accents sometimes- but that is forgiven because of how otherwise amazing her line delivery was- especially considering the quality of the dialogue).

Landon and Dakota were my favorite characters, and even though they had no personalities beyond what they meant to Tess and how they interacted with Harden (Hardin? Again, I listened to the audiobook I’ve got no idea how to spell that lmao) they still made the book better to listen to.

Despite the repetition of plot/narrative structures I can happily say again that I was never really bored.

Okay moving on to more mixed-bag feelings:

So the last chapter was from Harden’s perspective, and I thought that was an interesting idea. Learning what one character thinks, especially since our protagonist is, how you say, a little bad at reading/interacting with other human people. However the execution left something to be desired for me. It quite literally was just the exact same scene we just saw from the previous chapter, but from Hardens perspective instead of Tess’s. Which was just ended up being unnecessarily repetitive at times.

I liked how Tessa tried to be less judgmental throughout the book, however her growth is very, very limited.

I liked the fact that they mentioned they used condoms in pretty much every sex scene, and that most of the time clear verbal consent/clear nonverbal consent was given for the sexual stuff. That does not happen often in books, especially in fan fiction from what I understand.

I like that Tess does stand up for herself, while I could sometimes see myself comparing her to Bella Swan considering how much of her personality does kind of revolve around her relationship with Harden, she certainly was more vocal about her feelings. And boy, did she have a lot of feelings.

Moving on to the things I didn’t like, this is probably going to be a mix on writing, characters, and plot points so bear with me. (I’m saving my many thoughts on the twist for last)

Okay so a big number one is the biggest plot driver, the love story. So, I feel like it goes without saying, but the main relationship is SUPER unhealthy. Harden constantly stalks, manipulates, and bullies Tess throughout the whole book. He is pretty much abusive, using her caring for him to his own advantage and then dropping her when it suits him. Plus his hyper-sexualization of her “virtue” is really really nasty. Tess pretty much cries in every interaction they have together, and even acknowledges how toxic their relationship is, and yet I’m supposed to root for them? Hmm… I don’t think so

The near constant slut shaming and girl hate in this book bothers me, especially when it’s mixed with the hints of “I’m not like other girls” from Tess

The character descriptions kinda weird me out considering how much Harden is described like Harry Styles, like literally a tumblr punk edit of Harry Styles

The dialogue is… bad. To all the writers out there (myself included) make sure you read your dialogue out loud to see if it sounds natural, that way if your Wattpad fanfiction ever does get published, and your book is adapted into audiobook, you’ll avoid a situation like this one. Because, especially listening to it, the dialogue in this book is really really bad. Honest to god it sounds like robots imitating humans are talking to each other, only they’re trying to convince the other robots that they are humans. For some reason Anna Todd avoided using contractions for most of the book, making the characters sound unnatural and completely out of their predefined characters. Why would these college students not use words like “it’s” “we’ll” and “we’re”? It is truly astonishing, and it makes the few uses of contractions really distracting. Normally I don’t give a shit about grammar since I don’t really understand grammar, and normally grammatical errors aren’t that obvious when listening on audio, but the dialogue was seriously that bad.

The pacing was bad, that’s kinda all I have to say. It was generally too quick during plot development but then took a screeching halt for each fight/sex scene (of which there are many)

The repetition of certain words/phrases really got annoying. Everyone's always screaming, biting on their lip, or smirking. Harden is rude, as Tessa mentioned about eight million times, and Tessa finds his dirty talk arousing. We know this, because Todd uses those phrases about a billion times a chapter.

The sex scenes kind of grossed me out. I’m (in general) fine with sex, but the way the sex scenes were written seriously ucked me out. These college kids avoid using words like “penis” “dick” “pussy” etc. and use really really juvenile words like “down there” and “length”. Maybe this is a fanfiction thing, and I’ll admit that I have not read essentially any fanfiction, but it is truly a disturbing way to write sex. Especially since Tessa is written to have the experience and understanding of sex as like a child, not even understand what an orgasm is and unwilling to say words like penis or vagina, something our loverboy Harden is super attracted to, by the by.

I hate that this book uses “girl almost gets assaulted so man can come in and valiantly protect her” trope. It is super gross and I hate it. That’s kind of all I can say, the use of women's pain so that men can get some amount of redemption is awful.

More on Harden: I am sick of the “violent, broken man that I promise I can fix!” trope. It is used to justify and excuse abuse and I hate it. Tess is honestly scared of him several times in the book and it’s played as a personality quirk of his? Like everyone just accepts that’s how he is? I know for the most part we aren’t supposed to “like” him for the first part of the book, but it’s obvious that the author wants us to root for him and Tessa in some capacity. Especially with the inclusion of his perspective at the end, which in a way is exactly the kind of manipulation that he is into so idk. Also he is possessive despite the fact that they weren’t dating, and he is very clear he does not date. That’s already abuse, but of course there is more. On top of that he is cruel, and pretty stuck-up throughout the book- making him pretty much insufferable to me. And all of this shit just gets worse once the twist is introduced, and no amount of his whining from his chapter could at all change that.

The rest of the characters are all either boring, or the worst people you could ever meet. Tess’s mom, Molly, Jace, all really terrible to offset the horror of Harden. To almost justify what he does- because comparatively he doesn’t seem as bad (up until the twist).

The twist. Dear god the twist. So, as it goes it isn’t an extremely inspired twist. I’ve seen it done before in a similar way (I’m looking at you, Ten Things I Hate About You). For those who are wondering: the big twist is that Harden only really pursued Tess in the beginning because after she revealed she is a virgin at a party early on in the book he makes a pricey bet with Zed (another side character only used to add ~drama~ to Tessa and Harden’s relationship) to see who can take her virginity. All of the subsequent bullying, possessiveness, manipulation, etc. were all a ploy to have sex with her before Zed could. I feel like it goes without saying that that’s disgusting, but let me tell you exactly why: at least if he was actually interested in her at first his weird behavior could possibly be passed off as hormones (I wouldn’t like it, but I’d understand it more if you’d try to make that argument), but the fact that it was all for a bet not only makes his disgusting actions worse, but makes the fact that he supposedly falls in love with her so much more annoying. Plus, the fact that he literally tries to trap Tessa in a lease so she can’t leave him, and tries to bribe his friends into silence really shows how little he actually cares about Tessa and her thoughts and feelings.

So, why two stars? Honestly, because I was entertained (for lack of a better word) by this book. Maybe if I actually read it and not just listened to the audiobook it my rating would be lower, maybe if there was just one more sex scene to slow down the pace I would have been more bored. Who knows, but I was entertained. Sometimes by how terrible the dialogue is, by how astonishing the characters decisions were, sometimes by the actual plot. It’s like watching a shitty soap opera, it’s not good by any means, but it certainly keeps your attention.

#pj speaks #book review #after book #after book review

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jenguerrero · 6 years ago

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#saminnosrat #saltfatacidheat

I have a *massive* food crush on Samin Nosrat. She has the enthusiasm and food joy of Julia Child. She’s a natural teacher. She doesn’t want to impress you, but rather wants to demystify everything about the kitchen so that you can cook well. And by you, I mean everybody. She doesn’t want you to follow exact directions. She wants you to actually understand. That’s pretty powerful stuff!

I first picked up the audiobook of Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat and listened right through. I couldn’t turn it off. I thought Claire Danes was narrating it. No, that’s Samin. They are voice doppelgangers. I got to the end and she referenced some chart printouts you can access online and mentioned that the physical book has recipes to practice the principles of the book. What?! Now I had to pick up a physical copy, too. <I totally raised a judgy eyebrow.> No matter. I’ve listened to the audio book 4 times now, so I think I can safely say I got my money’s worth.

That physical book. It has really cool charts in it. I’m a little herb and spice obsessed, so I didn’t need the global flavor wheel, but a noob to international cooking would have a blast with it. There’s a salting calendar, basic salt volume ballpark numbers, an international fat wheel, and an international acid wheel. All of those can be printed from the audio book link. Then there are the recipes. What skill do you want to practice? She lists the skills and a few recipes to choose from to practice those. Those are just in the physical book.

Then there’s the show. So far, it’s wonderfully entertaining. You will love Samin. She is crazy loveable. Her joy is contagious. She’ll make you curious and you’ll want to try everything. Her guests are terrific. The places and topics are fascinating. And her expressions!!! She looks like a kid shocked by the perfect gift when she gets impressive ice cream in her mouth! ❤ But it’s not super actionable and educational, like the book – yet. I hope it will be. It would be wonderful if she continues with episodes cooking with us and explaining what you should be looking for and what she is seeing the whole time.

Who’s the book for? Anyone who wants their food to taste its best. The only people I think it wouldn’t be for are those that eat to live, and don’t actually care how it tastes as long as they’re being fueled appropriately. I’ve heard they exist. LOL!

I tried some of the recipes, and they were wonderful. I didn’t ask for permission to share one, though. Duplicating a set of exact steps is not what she’s about. She wants to convince everyone to taste constantly and thoughtfully.

Her fettucine alfredo was wonderful. Simmering and reducing the heavy cream by half without it bubbling up over the edges was the only challenge. (Salt and fat lessons)

Her buttermilk chicken. (This one hits all four lesson boxes – salt, fat, acid, and heat.) Holy wonderful chicken, batman! You spend 5 minutes (if that) getting it salted and into its marinade the night before. Then you let it come to room temp while the oven preheats, and it spends an hour in there, being moved once. Perfectly seasoned, super moist chicken. Zero effort. I made it a second time on the rotisserie on my grill out back. Flippin’ irresistible!

Persian-ish rice. (Heat lesson) Okay, I watched her do this one on the show and she motioned to her big nonstick pot with a lid and said, “Every Persian Mama has one of these big pots from TJ-Maxx to make their rice.” I wasn’t going to argue with every Persian Mama, so I ran over to TJ-Maxx and bought one, too. Then I opened the book, and she makes it in a cast-iron skillet in there. <Don’t tell my husband that the pot was unnecessary, okay?> It worked beautifully, so I’m glad I picked it up. There are slight differences between the show and her book, which really highlights that she’s working with basic ideas rather than committing to how something’s done, and that she goes with her cooking mood a bit. Samin uses a yogurt blended in with a shallow layer of rice at the bottom and wraps the lid in a towel. I remember using America’s Test Kitchen’s recipe before and they did the exact same thing. The first time I had Persian rice with tahdig was at a girlfriend’s house, and she did not use any yogurt. Maybe that’s why Samin is calling this Persian-ish rice? Anyway. Her method is really easy and it’s fantastic! My tahdig came out in one perfect piece the second time. <happy eyebrow bounce> I stirred the steeped saffron right into the rice that time so it would be evenly blended. (top layer, not the bit pulled to the side and mixed with yogurt)

Bean and roasted veg salad. Okay, this is my favorite so far, but it’s not why you think. I learned something with this dish. Clearly, acid is where I could stand improvement. She has you soak beans overnight, then cook them in simmering water with a splash of olive oil, a few bay leaves, and a sprinkle of salt til they’re done. They should be creamy all the way through, but not defeated. She doesn’t give the timing and wants you to test until you understand. (For noobs, I’ll mention that it should be somewhere in the neighborhood of an hour so that you don’t bite a raw bean at 30 minutes.) She has you make a very acidic dressing for it, using more red wine vinegar than olive oil. Soak shallots in the vinegar at first to take their raw sharpness out, like you do in dishes with a Spanish influence. It should make you pucker from the sour punch. Once it was on the beans, it was perfect. I was thrilled, because I would have used way too little acid, and that took them from boring to craveable. Kisses to Samin for that one! She has you roast broccoli (she uses Romanesco, but it costs 3 times as much as regular and wasn’t looking particularly fresh at my grocer that day, so I went with plain old broccoli), cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, and carrots tossed in olive oil and salt and spread on separate pans – or at least separate ends of pans – at about 425 F until they are nicely browned. She doesn’t give a time because she wants the cook to watch for done-ness instead of an arbitrary time that would have varying results from one house and oven to the next. You plate it with the vegetables loosely layered, then the beans, a sprinkle of za’tar (careful if you’re a Penzey’s head, because it has salt in it and Samin’s didn’t) and then fatty feta cheese and piles of herbs (it looked like cilantro, dill, and mint. I had parsley, too, so that joined the party) right in the center. She finishes it with Maldon salt. It’s glorious. Make this the next time you’re entertaining vegetarian friends. Or skip the feta for vegans. It’s a great punch of flavor, but the salad definitely doesn’t *need* it. This one’s not in the book. Or on the website (yet), so it’s particularly fun to play with, because you have to learn to trust yourself and taste thoughtfully as you go along to make it. The only thing I did differently the second time was make it a bit bigger. I had dreams of leftovers….

Go watch that show! And get that book! You’ll hug me for it. Have you seen it? What’s your favorite so far?

<Okay, I apologize for the weird spacing for emphasis in the first paragraph. My husband was laughing at me because I was restraining my need to put an exclamation point at the end of each sentence. It’s very difficult to contain all this foodthusiasm. We went and listened to David Sedaris speak a few years back and between stories he was chatting. One of his little sidebars was about the overuse of the word awesome in America. I sat listening, cringing with self-awareness of my guilt with that one. I spent the next month biting my lip to keep the “awesomes” from falling out. I read on Facebook, listened at dinner club, and book club, and the awesomes were everywhere. Sometimes, awesome is the most appropriate word, though, isn’t it??? I know that if I stick an exclamation point at the end of everything for emphasis, nothing is emphasized.>

I’m an Amazon affiliate. Any time you use one of my links to make a purchase, Amazon gives me a tiny percentage. Thank you!

Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat – Hardcover

Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat – Audiobook

I have a massive food crush on Samin Nosrat. Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat. #saminnosrat #saltfatacidheat I have a *massive* food crush on Samin Nosrat. She has the enthusiasm and food joy of Julia Child.

#Acid #book #cook #cookbook #Fat #food porn #Heat #Jennifer Guerrero #JenniferGuerrero #Netflix #Nosrat #review #Salt #Samin

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perpetually-jungshook · 7 years ago

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Seokjin: 50% Sight

Genre: awkward shy Seokjin, 100% fluff

Warnings: a little social anxiety, handicap: blindness (OC)

Word Count: 4.2k

Summary: Seokjin doesn’t get out much between classes and his part time job narrating for the local library’s Services for the Blind program- not to mention the fact that he’s painfully anxious about talking to people. But he’s also a diehard romantic and hopes that someday, he’ll find someone with the same amount of love for literature.

He scoots the chair a centimeter closer to the desk. Pause. He scoots the chair back a centimeter and a half. Pause.

Seokjin sighs, resting his elbows on the table and pressing his palms into his eye sockets. Three thirty in the morning. That’s what the clock said the last time he looked… what? Maybe (hopefully) five minutes ago, before he decided he would rest his eyes. Just a power nap to make him more alert.

He chances a glance at the clock in the upper right corner of the monitor.

3:57am

Seokjin sighs again. Where had the time gone? The words on the screen had stared back at him, eating at his attention, nagging at his vision. “Sleep,” they read. “Sleep and take care of this after you’ve woken up.” But he can’t do that. The library is paying him for this. He only has six hours to finish recording.

He reaches out and takes another long sip of now cold coffee, setting down the mug and dropping his arm like it’s made of lead. The soft orange glow from the lamp in the corner casts everything in a warm, comforting light, except what catches the harsh glare from the computer screen.

The monitor sits idle for a minute as Seokjin stares, then initiates sleep mode. Sleep. That does sound nice…

His head hitting his arm on the table jolts him awake. Right. He needs to be recording.

With a swift jiggle of the mouse, the computer screen brightens, bringing up the nine hours worth of reading Seokjin has already done. Which book is he even on now? A quick glance at the title printed on the top of the page reminds him. Ah yes White Noise. Written by Don Delillo, read by Jin. Thankfully he’d had the forethought to highlight the portion he’d left off on. After a quick clearing of his throat, Seokjin presses record.

“Make no mistake. I take these children seriously. It is not probable-”

Seokjin cuts himself off and clips to the end of last sentence. Probable? Possible. He needs to slow down, but three cups of coffee in the past two hours isn’t helping. Slow down. He takes a deep breath and starts again.

Reading for the local library’s Services for the Blind program had originally been a volunteer opportunity. Jin had some spare time over summer break and he needed to read these books for his classes anyway, so why not contribute to a good cause? But then someone apparently made a massive donation and the library asked him to be a part time employee.

For a full time college student, the pay is decent and it not only buys the necessities like food and rent and all that adult garbage, but it also gives him some freedom to go to the movies or add to a growing library of his own.

“It is not possible to see too much in them, to overindulge your casual gift for the study of character.”

Seokjin pauses to take a few deep breaths. Slow down and enunciate.

He’s not sure how many people actually utilize the audio files as he hasn’t met that many (any) blind people at the library. However, he’s logged over three hundred hours narrating. That’s what the receptionist told him last time he’d asked. Since starting, he’s been paid for over three hundred hours.

Seokjin doesn’t even have to talk to people in order to do it. The library sends him a list of manuscripts (and he can often times request specific ones), he narrates them, and a direct deposit is added to his bank account. For an introvert who loves to read, it’s not half bad.

He usually doesn’t procrastinate, but last minute homework assignments and projects that catch students by surprise are always a pain. Still, Seokjin had been eyeing a new novel for some time now and he kind of has to fulfill a certain monthly quota to keep his job… so improvise, adapt, overcome, and all that.

At five twenty five, Seokjin hits the “submit for peer review” button. The staff had been kind enough to supply him with the necessary equipment at home- the microphone and editing software- but every story still needs to be checked for quality control. Granted, Linda, the receptionist that usually helped him, has previously said that no one actually checks. This means Seokjin has to do most of the editing to ensure the value of his content. Because why do the work if he isn’t going to do it well?

Seokjin pushes himself away from the desk, snagging his computer charger under the wheels. He groans and decides he’ll fix it in the morning. Wait. It is the morning. He’ll have to leave for his first class in a little under three hours.

Oh well, who needs sleep?

On the way home, after five hours of classes, Seokjin stops by the library, though, not the school one with all the textbooks and works arbitrarily titled “classics.” He goes to the public library, the place where he submits his audio recordings.

Linda, a heavy but happy middle aged woman with her love of the world and baking clearly visible in her smile, spots him immediately and waves enthusiastically, cooing, “There’s that handsome face I always miss!”

Seokjin laughs lightly, even if he can feel his chest constrict with nervousness, “Hello, good to be back.”

He hopes she won’t launch into some story this time about her three cats. She does. And Seokjin listens politely the whole time even though the only thing he wants to do is hide away in a corner and flip through a pleasantly worn novel with slightly yellowed pages that smell distinctly like old-book.

He tries to come here at least once a week, but realistically only visits once or twice a month. School and his job tend to be very time consuming and keep him constantly at home or on campus.

Seokjin walks past the familiar shelves lined with novels and can’t help but notice the ones that he’s narrated. Some of them are cringeworthy, like the one he submitted last night. Others are more pleasant experiences that left him with a more personally, subjectively meaningful experience with the novel-

The book immediately catches Seokjin’s attention. An anthology of poetry. This is what he will read. Seokjin carefully removes it from the shelf and carries it to his usual corner desk with all the gentleness and respect of holding someone else’s child. He turns on the small lamp suspended by a divider and settles in.

The library is quiet, pleasantly so, and lets Seokjin get lost in the words on the pages. Books allow him to escape from social anxiety and an ever persisting, self perpetuating feeling of loneliness.

The library is so quiet, in fact, that Linda’s voice easily penetrates his concentration as she says, “Yeah hon, he just submitted it last night.”

Seokjin can’t hear the reply, but his attention immediately diverts from the poem in front of him. Submitted? He? Last night? He submitted the audiobook last night, but it could just be a coincidence, right? He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves, trying to recall something from an introduction to psychology class about applying completely random conversations to oneself based on coincidence and association.

“Are you sure? You just donated so much last week- not that the library would turn down another one but we do provide the recording services for free.”

Recording services. That’s one coincidence too many.

He looks up, leaning around a shelf of books to see the front desk. A girl stands in front of Linda, still talking too quietly to be heard. Seokjin can only see her profile and curiosity strikes him first, the simple kind of enchantment that affects a person when seeing an unconventionally pretty face.

“Alright let me go burn that onto a CD real quick. Stay right here, okay hon?”

The girl nods and splays her hand on the front desk’s granite countertop as Linda moseys into the office behind her. Seokjin watches, his finger idly pulling at the corners of the pages in front of him, causing them to fan. When did the libraries start offering CDs? Especially when the audio files are available online? Well, this does not concern him directly and they seem to have it all figured out so Seokjin lets his attention drop back to his book. He’s just doing that psychology thing. What was it? Association… association something. When things that seem relevant to a person make them think they are relevant. Seokjin just can’t quite remember the term-

“Here it is, White Noise,” Linda’s voice pulls him from the poems again.

That’s definitely the book that Seokjin just finished narrating. Even if he doesn’t remember half of it. The girl reaches around in her purse and pulls out a piece of paper, but the action is… kind of strange. She doesn’t look at the bag. Then it occurs to him. Maybe she’s blind. It would make sense why she would be listening to the recordings.

The girl replies inaudibly.

“Sorry hon, I have no control over who it’s assigned to. The computers take care of that between our volunteers. But I can definitely submit a request.”

There’s another pause as the girl speaks.

“No, unfortunately that’s private information…”

Linda’s eyes suddenly flick to look at Seokjin and he immediately drops his gaze back to the poetry anthology, heart racing, cheeks warm. They had definitely been talking about him. But why? His recordings, obviously. But what’s this about requesting? And private information?

The girl leaves and Jin reluctantly picks up his book. He has to check out now and talk to Linda again. Not “has to.” Wants to.

“Linda is nice,” he tells himself for the millionth time. “She wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

He carefully places the anthology in front of her, taking out his library card.

“Ready?”

Seokjin nods.

Linda hums to herself as she scans out the book and carefully places it back in his hands. There’s an awkwardly long pause as she gives him a knowing smile, still holding onto his card.

“Hon, do you know why the library was able to hire you?”

“Because of donations?” he ventures timidly.

Linda’s smile grows wider, reading like the look someone might give their friend who just passed by their crush, “That’s right. Donations. From a donor. Singular. Why? Because you have a fan.”

A fan?

She continues, “That girl that just came in here, the one you were staring at, she’s the person who secretly pays your salary.”

Linda winks, causing Seokjin’s eyes to widen with surprise as he searches for an appropriate response.

“Not that it’s any of my business, but she comes in here on Mondays,” another wink. “You have a good day now.”

Seokjin walks away from the counter, pulse points throbbing and a pinch forming in his throat. She probably wasn’t supposed to say any of that. “Secretly pays his salary,” which means she probably wants anonymity. He blushes. And now he knows.

What perplexes him is the fact that- granted this is based on assumptions- according to their conversation, the girl specifically requested Seokjin to read something. It simultaneously warms his heart and makes him nervous. What does she think of him? His voice? Does she notice when he stumbles over his words or doesn’t smooth over a cut in an audio clip? Before, Seokjin felt almost… detached from what he does, narrating, because he was just speaking into the proverbial void. But now- now he knows someone is listening.

Seokjin blushes as he finally reaches his car. He sits down behind the wheel and takes a deep breath.

“Calm down. Don’t excite yourself,” he murmurs, looking at his ghostly reflection, barely visible on the windshield. “She probably just likes the same books. That’s all.”

And that’s what Seokjin tells himself for the next seven days.

He doesn’t get a chance to do any recording, though he receives an email from the library asking for him to narrate The Picture of Dorian Gray. Because it is not available in digital manuscript (though, he doesn’t look very hard), he has to stop by the library to rent a copy- and return his poetry anthology. He has three weeks to get the book recorded, so waiting a week is not a pressing problem.

Of course, he absolutely, definitely, certainly does not go on Monday on purpose.

Seokjin looks around as he enters the familiar building, anthology in hand. He doesn’t know what to expect, but he shames himself for feeling a tad disappointed when he does not see the girl.

Linda gives him a friendly smile, “Hey there hon. How can I help you?”

He feels his cheeks heat up from social embarrassment and guilt. His voice is quiet but only a tad bit timid as he places the poetry anthology on the counter, “I’m returning this.”

“Alright thank you.” She scans the book and places it on a cart beside her.

“Also, I got a request for a recording and came by to pick up the book.”

“Ah yes, picking up the book,” Linda’s smile becomes knowing, her words notably odd and formal. “What’s the book?”

Seokjin shows her the email, presenting her with his phone. She nods, pulls her chair toward her keyboard, types something in, and gets up, “Let me go get that for you. Wait right here.”

Fingers tapping quietly on the cold surface of the front desk, Seokjin tries to calm his frantic heartbeat. He’s not sure why he’s nervous. The girl isn’t here. It’s just Linda and him and the books. The books. Trustworthy, safe. Seokjin smiles.

Linda moves back into his field of attention, scanning the book and placing it in front of him. Right, he needs his card. Retrieving it from his pocket, he places it on the counter for her before picking up the book to place it in his bag.

The middle aged woman clears her throat, glancing at her watch, “If I were you, I would- ahem- skim over the book a little. Maybe take a seat and read for ten or twenty minutes.”

Seokjin has never been good at identifying implications socially. In books? Absolutely. Analyzing text, finding hidden meanings, it’s his favorite pastime. But is Linda hinting that he stay for a reason? She must be. Maybe the girl usually comes around that time.

He nods, a small gesture of affirmation, “Ten or twenty minutes.”

The next twelve and a half minutes are characterized by frequent, almost paranoid, mostly neurotic, nauseously excited glances up every time the door opens. A mail runner, a little boy and his mother- or maybe his aunt, Seokjin shouldn’t judge, a homeless man, a couple of students with their university sweatshirts…

The girl.

Seokjin’s cheeks flood with heat and his gaze drops back down to his book. Why? She’s carrying a cane this time, clearly blind. She wouldn’t know he’s staring.

Linda, though she is usually loud, speaks (probably purposefully) louder than normal, “Hello hon! How can I help you?”

When he looks up, he finds her nodding, gesturing at Seokjin to come over. He frantically shakes his head, mental panic button pressed. His palms are already clammy, hands a little shaky- when was the last time he talked to a girl? Earlier today in class. No, no. When was the last time he talked to a girl? Conversed? Not just a “hey what pages did the professor say we had to read?” kind of conversation? He thinks for a moment. Then for two. The fact that it takes so long kind of answers his question. Or maybe it’s just the fact that all of his thoughts seem to have misted over in a rush of adrenaline.

Blood roars in his ears, so loud that he can’t hear what Linda is saying. He doesn’t think his legs would hold him up, and even if they did, could he walk straight? Could he talk without his voice cracking? Lord, the girl can’t see. He would have to make a good impression using her other senses and how does one do that?

And now she’s leaving.

Seokjin’s body reacts before his mind can, a different kind of panic that calls him to action. He’s stumbling across the library, almost catching on the corner of a shelf as he sprints forward, opening the door.

He lets out a breathless, “Let me get that for you.”

She pauses, sightless eyes staring ahead, lips parting as if she wants to say something. She says nothing. The moment lasts an eternity.

Then she lets out a quiet, soft, “Thank you.”

The moment breaks and she passes through the door. Maybe it’s just Seokjin, but he thinks- for a second- that there is a bit of a rush to her step. He watches as she walks toward the curb a few meters away, cane tapping rhythmically, methodically. She gets into the back seat of a shiny, spotless white car and Seokjin watches until it disappears in traffic.

He continues to stand in the doorway until the homeless man comes back and bumps him. Startled, before Linda can make any remarks on the interaction (or maybe he just wasn’t listening in the first place), Seokjin flees to his car.

A week later with the weekend behind him, Seokjin has narrated half of the requested book. He has one week left to finish it. Technically. It’s not like Linda is standing there with a gun to his head saying, “If you don’t finish this on time you’ll bite a bullet.” It’s more of a principle thing, helps the library see that he is a valuable, punctual asset.

Linda is busy talking to another patron when he enters, which saves him from the “playfully” patronizing conversation. She always means well, but wouldn’t be helping.

He finds his seat at his usual desk and waits, reading ahead a little bit to know what he’ll be narrating tonight. He looks at the clock. He waits. He waits a little more. His nerves are not as strung out as last time, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t anxious. The typical questions run through his head. What if the girl thinks he’s creepy? Would she even know who he is? Would she care? Would the girl even show up?

Why is Seokjin even so intrigued by her? Because she pays his salary? Because she likes his voice above the others that might volunteer? Because she’s pretty and mysterious and Seokjin, being an addict to romantic narratives, wants to find some sort of story in these circumstances?

The door opens, revealing the girl. She doesn’t have her cane, but this time Seokjin pays careful attention. He notices the way that she reaches out with a sense of cautious familiarity. The girl moves slowly, but not detrimentally so. She finds the front desk, skillfully avoiding the patron Linda is still talking to. Fascinating.

Seokjin rises and walks up to her quietly, then clears his throat, “Hello, my name is Seokjin. I just wanted to say thank you for requesting the narration of these books because it gives me a steady job that I’m happy with.”

This is what Seokjin wants to do. But he stays frozen in his seat, staring at her. At least he won’t be mortified by her looking over and seeing him stare. Is that socially incorrect? Impolite? His anxiety peaks again, but he gets up and walks over. A shaky breath. Shaky knees. Sweaty palms. A wavering voice.

“Excuse me…” he says, swallowing hard.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Linda briefly look up from her computer screen. She’s still helping the other person, but she does take the time to shoot him an encouraging smile.

The girl completely ignores him.

Seokjin clears his throat, repeating, “Excuse me.”

The girl tilts her head, a natural expression of confusion flitting across her face, “I’m sorry. Let me get out of your way.”

His cheeks burn. She interpreted it wrong. He messed up. She’s going to think he’s awkward. Now what is he supposed to say? Just say something.

“N-no. I… I wanted to ask if…”

He’s boxed himself in. Just say the words. He can save it. “If you are the one who requests the books.”

But of course that’s not what he says either.

“I wanted to know if you needed help finding anything. Linda seems very busy and I know the library pretty well.”

Does she even know who Linda is? Had Linda ever introduced herself? The girl couldn’t have read the name tag. Oh GOD-

The girl runs her hand softly across the countertop of the front desk, her cheeks dusted a light pink, voice quiet, “Could you help me find Les Misérables by Hugo?”

Seokjin nods before remembering she can’t see it. “Follow me. It’s right this way.”

He starts heading toward the aisle labeled Gr-Hy, organized alphabetically by author’s last name, but halfway there, he again realizes that she can’t see. How could he be so stupid? Seokjin, cheeks burning, turns around to retrace his steps and collect the girl when he almost runs directly into her.

She halts, staring ahead, almost at his chest, “Are you okay?”

Seokjin stops himself from nodding, “Yeah. I’m fine I just…”

He doesn’t want to be rude and question her abilities. Quite the contrary, he’s rather impressed. But Seokjin doesn’t know whether that would be rude as well. He lets the sentence trail off in favor of walking the few more steps to the section he’s looking for. With trembling hands, he removes the book from the row. Should he say something? Hand it to her? How so? One of the girl’s hands is at her side, the other is poised on the shelf beside her, feeling her way around the environment. She’s not ready to receive the book. How is he supposed to give it?

Seokjin reaches out, gently catching the hand by her side. He turns it palm up and puts the novel down, placing the edge strategically so she’s able to curl her fingers around it.

Wait. He’d touched her. Is that inappropriate? Does she think he’s weird? Will she be angry-?

“Is your name Jin?”

Seokjin’s thoughts stutter, then flatline as he tries to process the abrupt flood of information. A simple question and yet: she knows. Had she recognized his voice? Obviously she took it from his narrations, as he signs the front of each novel audibly with a pen name, “written by the author, read by Jin.”

His voice is breathier than he intends as he replies, “Yes. Kind of.”

“Kind of?” the girl’s undertones are curious.

“My name is Seokjin, but I use Jin as a…” the lump in his throat makes him choke on the sentence.

“Pen name?” A small, knowing smile forms on her lips.

“Exactly.”

Pause.

“My name is _____,” her smile widens, even as she stares blankly at his chest. Though it isn’t a dull blankness. Sure, her eyes don’t metaphorically express the same sort of emotions one might see commonly, but there is still the light of life. Still the crinkle that denotes a genuine smile.

Seokjin lets go of the book and her hand, knowing he lingered far too long to be casual.

“Nice to meet you,” he blushes, thankful that she doesn’t know.

Pause.

“Thank you… for narrating all of those stories. My boyfriend and I really enjoy them.”

“B-boyfriend?” the word slips out before he can stop it.

She laughs, a sound that opens the floodgates for a feeling of content warmth within him. She says, “I’m just kidding. I don’t have a boyfriend. But I do enjoy your stories- well, your voice reading them.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

Pause.

Seokjin searches for something to say. He can’t ask her to carry the whole conversation. Just say something.

“May I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“I’m not sure if it’s socially appropriate…” he feels embarrassed for even saying this.

“Go ahead,” she laughs again, an authentically happy sound. “Now I’m intrigued.”

The fact that she uses the word “intrigued” makes him smile.

“If I may ask, why are you looking for this book-” he wants to kick himself for phrasing. She’s not looking for anything. But it’s too late to take it back. “-when you can’t exactly… read it? I’m sorry if that sounds rude…”

“It’s not. It’s a good question,” _____’s cheeks dust a light pink. “I was actually going to ask Linda to put this aside for you to narrate.”

“Les Misérables?” Seokjin finds himself giggling in both shock and excitement. “Have you read it?”

“No not yet,” the smile doesn’t leave her lips, even when he slips up and uses a sight-related word for an activity.

“It’s wonderful. I would love to narrate it for you.”

“Really?” Hope.

“Yes of course. Granted, it might take me a while because it’s so long but…”

As they continue to make small talk, Seokjin finally starts to do something that is very rare for him. He finally begins to relax.

✩✩✩♔✩✩✩

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