#He had a good chance to hurt Tracey but took off running instead.

[roadimusprime]

Media that portrays people who are mentally ill and who were institutionalized as human and shows the horrors of the system are absolutely works of art.

I am screaming my praises to this movie towards the heavens.

[pocketfulofrogers]

To Outlive the Devil

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Summary: A good save and a case practically solved leads to intelligence almost losing one of their own. Can you get out before it’s too late?

Notes: Canon violence, nothing worse than a typically dark episode. This is a past and present cut together story and it’s just shy of 4k. 

Now

Your bleary eyes open up to a cold and damp bedroom. An abandoned… apartment? The peeling wallpaper had given way to yellow stained drywall. From the small window on your left, it appeared as if you were several stories in the air, but there were no distinguishable landmarks that told you if you were even still in Chicago.

As you begin to come to your senses more, you feel the thick rope tied around your wrists and ankles. The rough material burns against you skin and you notice you already have sores.

How long have I been here?

Your memory is fuzzy and your head throbbed violently. It isn’t until you shift uncomfortably that you realize it’s a heavy metal chair you’re tied to.

Slowly your body begins to pick up on the danger your muddled brain had managed to identify and your pulse begins to quicken. As much as you try, your heartbeat continues to pound in your head as you try to twist your arms free.

The pain that responds is only a small price to pay for even the chance of freedom. Desperately, you continue to twist and pull until one of the knots manages to loosen up enough for you to squeeze your hand out. It’s just a short sprint to the front door in front of you.

You will your frozen fingers to work faster as you pinch and tear at each knot and then internally scream at your stiff muscles to carry you forward just a little bit more.

When your hand reaches the doorknob and it isn’t locked, relief floods your system. But when you’re able to wrench the door open, the person behind the door barely registers in your mind before everything goes black once again.

Then

Jay leans against his fist on his desk and tries to keep his frustration at bay. They’d been at this for two days straight and had been on the case for the last three months. “That’s two bodies in as many weeks. Is no one else starting to think…”

“That maybe hunting Chicago’s very own Criminal Minds level serial killer couple is out of our depth?” You interrupt, tilting your head towards him. “Doubt it.”

In fact, over the last two weeks, it’s the only thing you could think about. A younger woman named Madison roped, at least you were hoping she wasn’t a willing participant, into a horrific and violent life by a man you had yet to learn the identity of. You’d spent many nights pacing your bedroom, ranting and theorizing to Jay when all he wanted was just a bit of sleep.

The further you dove into it, however, the less hopeful you became for a quick arrest.

Voight had about ripped your head off when you suggested passing the case to the FBI and got to hear the ‘this is our city’ speech once again. But the truth was you were running out of ideas, running out of leads to chase down the rabbit hole, and running out of time.

“I hate to say it, but Voight’s right.” Antonio almost looks pained, but he continues on before you can question him. “The first time these two surfaced five years ago, CPD went full force. They shut it all down, had every uniform pulling overtime, and tried to smoke them out. Instead, it scared them into hiding.”

“Five girls in three months, Dawson, they’re escalating.” You take a breath before looking him in the eyes. “I can’t keep notifying parents.” There’s a certain pang in your voice only those who have had to watch a parent’s life crumble around them can hear. Jay reaches out to squeeze your forearm for just a bit of comfort and you run your fingers over his.

It’s enough.

“Then we end this.” Voight’s eyeing you, sympathetic to where you’re coming from, but not willing to give up yet. “Let’s find these monsters and make them pay.”

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you nod and turn to Adam. “Ok, let’s go over everything together, see if we can find something we missed.”

“Since it’s all we have, let’s revisit the address on Madison’s unemployment file.” Jay suggests.

Adam looks confused. “The house was condemned last year, torn down in the spring.”

“I know, but what about the name on the house, did anyone look into it?”

“Figured it was a stolen identity.” Kevin pipes up. “Clara Knight, died in 2012 of a heart attack at 66. No other properties in her name.”

“Knight?” Mouse perks up and starts shifting through his files. “I found a few erased emails from a Robert Knight, but I couldn’t find any relation or connection.”

Adam is already typing ferociously. “Got a death certificate for a Robert Knight, 68, died a few months ago. Seems like the guy barely existed.”

“Any children?”

“A daughter.” His face is grim. “Murdered in 99, she was 16.”

The hairs on the back of your neck prickle. “Pull up a picture of her.” You don’t need to see it to confirm what you already feared, but still the image of her face churns your stomach. A beautiful blonde girl with the hope of the whole world in her smile. “He’s been at this a lot longer than anyone thought.”

“Any property still in his name?” Voight asks.

Anxiety rippling through your chest, it feels like an eternity before Mouse nods. “His nephew Isaac put his house in Roseland on a tax form.”

Now

When you come to, the first thing you notice is that your restraints have been changed to zip ties and for a moment you’re concerned about your circulation. You’re worry is cut short by the cup of water on a table to your right, the plastic straw close enough for you to reach it.

The sudden realization of the searing pain in your throat and the cracked skin on your lips lets you know it’s probably been about two days. It’s the dryness of your tongue that overrides every single rational thought of concern that maybe the glass beside you isn’t safe to drink. But, fifteen minutes pass with no incident so whoever it is probably wants to keep you alive.

The thought sends ice down your back.

Alive for what?

“What do you want from me?” You scream into the empty apartment.

Then

“We need a vacation after this.” Jay declares as he leans the seat of the car back a little. “Somewhere warm with water so I can look at you in a tiny bathing suit all day.”

You roll your eyes, but he doesn’t miss the small smile you give before bringing the binoculars up again. “We’ll see what we can do about that.”

“Hey lovebirds.” Adam calls over the radio from the car down the street from yours. “Have you seen anything yet or are you too busy staring into each other’s eyes again?”

It’s Jay’s turn to roll his eyes. “Didn’t you just take your third piss break?”

“Hydration is very important.” He defends.

“I told him to wear the diapers.” Alvin adds. Adam tries to defend himself, but you can barely hear him over Kevin’s laughter next to him.

Just then, out of the corner of your eye, you see the movement of a curtain, the flash of blonde hair, and the air shifts. Jay immediately catches the tense set of your shoulders and starts asking questions.

“They’ve got a girl up there.” You tell him through gritted teeth.

“Are you sure? I didn’t see anything.”

You nod and get out of the car despite the hushed protests from Jay as he follows you. To do what? You weren’t sure yet but you had felt so powerless these last few months that maybe you weren’t being the most rational right now.

The curtain moves again and, rather than getting caught, you quickly spin around and push Jay against the car before crashing your lips to his. Other than a noise of shock sounding from the back of his throat, he doesn’t miss a beat.

“North corner window.” You mumble against his lips and slide your hands up his chest, tilting your head to the side to give him a better angle.

When he pulls away, he brings his phone up and looks you in the eye. “We’ve got confirmation on the nephew Isaac, but he’s got another girl up there. If we bust in, he might get spooked and hurt her.”

It’s quiet longer than either of you would like.

“What should we do, boss?” Adam asks for you.

“Do you think you can get in quietly?” Voight asks.

Jay waits for your nod. “We’re on it. Going silent.”

Picking the lock was nothing. Sneaking around a house you know nothing about except for a quick glance at a blueprint from 2005 was the difficult part. Jay splits the two of you up, sending you upstairs while he clears the lower level. Circumstance didn’t allow you the option to argue with him that splitting up in a situation like this is the worst thing to do.

He was your partner and it was your job to always have his back, as difficult as he makes it, but he’s rounded a corner into the living room before you get the chance to cuff him to you.

Your breath catches in your throat when a step on the stairs creak, but you keep moving until you find a girl in the second room you clear. She’s blind folded with on leg tied to the bed. She tenses when you approach, but relaxes once you’ve gotten close enough to whisper who you are.

“Tracey.” She says he name with a whimper and your heart breaks as you cut the rope and take off her blindfold.

When she sees you’re really who you say you are, she throws herself into your arms and begins to cry. There’s nothing more you want to do than to sit here and comfort her, but your ears picks up on a man’s voice you don’t recognize.

“Ok, Tracey, I know you’re so scared, and I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but I need you to be brave a little longer.” You pull back and look her in the eyes. “My partner and I came in here alone. I need you to tell me where the man and woman who took you are.”

She nods. “I don’t know where she went, she left a while ago. He’s here, downstairs I think, in his office.”

There’s a crash downstairs, the sound of broken glass and your blood runs cold. Immediately, you look for any other way out, but there’s nothing. No balcony, no window, nothing. Voight’s on the radio already, but you silence him.

“Stay directly behind me.” There’s a kind of urgency in your voice that puts her even more on edge.

Creeping down the stairs, you can hear Jay struggling in the kitchen, but it sounds like he’s holding his own.

“Bringing the girl out.” You whisper into your radio and glance back at Tracey. “As soon as we get down, I want you to run to the door. Do not stop. When you get across the street there are people who will help you.” She nods but she looks terrified. “I swear I won’t let him get anywhere near you.”

It’s the door opening that alerts Isaac that something else is going on. You round the corner with your gun drawn and the scene before you makes your knees weak.

Jay is bruised and cut up, struggling against the man behind him, the arm around his neck, the gun pointed at his head.

“She said you were cops, but I told her she was paranoid.” Isaac snarls.

“Madison? Is she here?” You ask, your voice as level as your gun trained on his head. Voight is yelling over the radio, but you tune him out. “I’d love to meet her.”

He snickers and smiles wickedly. “Even if she could be caught, neither of you will be alive long enough to see it.”

He only manages a twitch before you pull the trigger and land a shot right between his eyes.

Jay falls forward, breathing heavy and you rush towards him. “Jay’s hurt!” You call out when the door is broken down. Adam kicks the gun away from the obviously dead suspect and you let them handle the scene.

“Where does it hurt? Did you get hit? I told you it was stupid to split us up! How’s your breathing?” Your hands are frantically searching every inch of his body. He has to grab your hand and grip it tight in his to stop the assault of questions rapid firing from your lips.

He sits up with a groan and kisses your knuckles when he sees the panic on your face. “I’m okay. Because of you it’s just a few cuts and bruises.” He manages a smile and you almost cry right there.

Voight places a hand on your shoulder. “Tracey is on her way to Med. Medics said she’s going to be okay. We’ve got another bus on the way for you. Nice work you two.”

Now

The creak from the front door opening pulls you from a daze and you wince at the sunlight flooding the room. A blonde woman stands before you with a duffle in her left hand and a gun in her right.

She tilts her head to the side. “You’re still alive. What a shame.”

You struggle to focus your eyes from the concussion you’re assuming she must’ve given you. “Maddison.” You croak out. “What are you doing?”

She drops the duffle next to you and grips your hair to pull your head back, pushing the barrel of the gun into your temple.

“I’m going to make you suffer.” She hisses and roughly lets you go. “I tried to warn him that you were watching us, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“Isaac?”

“Don’t say his name!” She screams and the sound cracks through your skull. “He told me to get some supplies, but when I cam back, I watched from the back window as you murdered him.”

You shake your head and try to reason with her. “Maddison, he was hurting people. He was going to kill my partner.”

“Partner.” She repeats sarcastically. “You mean Jay Halstead, your boyfriend of 3 years?” Maddison moves in front of you to revel in the fear that has filled your eyes and smiles sinisterly. “Yeah, I know who he is.”

You start quickly, the panic in your voice betraying the training you were struggling to hold onto. “If you want to kill me fine, do it. But don’t hurt him, Maddison. Please, he’s done nothing.”

She tsks as she opens the duffle and begins to pull out long metal pieces until finally, a long-barreled shot gun. “Why would I kill you when the alternative is so much better?”

You begin to struggle against the restraints as your mind starts to put together scenario after scenario of awful images. Maddison pays no mind to you begging and pleading to see reason. Instead, she pauses from building some contraption to walk over to you and jam a needle in your neck.

When you come too again, she’s sat casually in front of you. “I thought hitting you in the head again might actually kill you, and that’s not what I’m going for, so… you’re welcome.”

You glance around again and notice the barrel of the shotgun behind you just to the left of your shoulder. “Yeah, thanks.” You deadpan looking back at her. “What’s with the ‘Saw’ set up?”

She raises a brow. “Hold onto that strength while you can.” She points out the wires and hooks running along the floor and ceiling to trace it back to the door in front of you. “I used to be a STEM major. Did you know that?” She doesn’t stop long enough for you to respond. “Turns out I still remember a few things.”

You stare past her towards the door and then look quickly back to the gun, beginning to piece together her plan.

“Yes.” She coos. “It’s exactly what you’re thinking. The first person that opens that door, if he happens to be the right height, will get a life ending shot to the face. And I’d like to ask you what the chances are that anyone other than your boyfriend will be the first through the door.”

None.

For the first time you feel utterly defeated, hopeless. Madison watches closely, soaking in every moment of your anguish.

“Now you’ll know what it feels like.”

Then

You phone buzzes for the fourth time in the last hour. “Yes?”

“He’s actually insufferable, where are you?” Will speaks quickly, his tone seeping in irritation.

You laugh. “April already sent me out to get him food because he was whining so much. I am in route with a burger and some other stuff from his favorite place. Should be there in 15.”

“Thank god.” He says quietly. “Would you give it a rest? She’s 15 out with enough food to hopefully put you in a coma so I don’t have to.” You laugh as Will continues to yell at his brother.

“I almost died! Where’s your compassion?” You hear Jay yell back and only laugh harder

“You have ONE bruised rib and a concussion. I’ve seen high school football players handle worse with less complaining!”

“If it’s not so bad, why won’t you let me leave?!”

“I’m stepping up the pace, be there soon.” You laugh and hang up.

The Chicago night was chilly, but something else causes the hairs on the back of your neck begin to prickle. You don’t stop walking, don’t even pause a single step. Instead, you glance in a shop window and catch the reflection of a woman, a flash of blonde, not too far behind you.

Casually, you switch the bag of food to your other hand, but before you’re able to grab your gun, there’s a pinch in your neck and everything goes black.

Now

Jay had forced his way back to work sooner than anyone recommended. You’d been missing for 5 days. Disappeared with no trace other than your cell phone and a bag of cold diner food spilt on the sidewalk. If it were up to him, he would’ve been at his desk the moment 30 minutes hit and you weren’t there.

Alvin called two hours later telling him what they found and Adam and Antonio had to physically restrain him, Will almost sedated him. Voight promised him that they’d find you, and Jay knew they’d do everything they could, but he needed to be a part of the search.

“Did she have any enemies?” Alvin asks and he doesn’t flinch when Jay begins to laugh sarcastically.

“Any enemies? Do you hear yourself? She had tons. We all do. But let’s stop pretending like her being taken the day we closed that case isn’t connected.”

Alvin tries to sympathize with him. “We have to ask. You know the drill.”

He throws his hands up in exasperation. “Are you seriously going to treat this like any other missing person? It’s Y/N, Al! Y/N!”

“We know.” Voight says from his office door. “I made a few calls, Jay, we know where she is.” For a fraction of a second, Jay is frozen, but the thought of what you could be going through right now moves him. He’s grabbed his jacket and is in the car before anyone else has moved.

“I thought only the CIA had access to things like that.” Adam whispers lowly in the car into Kevin’s ear.

He shrugs. “Do think it’s out of the question that he’d break several constitutional laws to save any one of us?”

Adam sits back in his seat with pursed lips, nodding.

You struggle against the restraints long after Madison leaves you with only a gag in your mouth. The multiple cars pulling up and all the people shouting told you that you were running out of time. As of this very moment, you were locked into your fate of watching the man you loved die.

This was not an option.

The hard plastic digs into your ankles and wrists, your movements quickening with each door you hear them break down. You try to scream, to warn whoever was on this floor that there was a danger they couldn’t possibly see, but your muffled cries wouldn’t carry.

Tears soak the bandana shoved in in your mouth and you try to scream again.

No! Stop! It isn’t safe!

You hear Voight’s voice a few doors down and begin to try and rock the chair back and forth. It was considered heavy for a good day, and today was not that. Having not eaten or really moved in so long had left you weak and foggy. The adrenaline coursing through you veins only aiding a little in your efforts.

The sound of the front door breaking down sends a jolt of energy through you and you send yourself flying in front of the gun just as the bedroom door opens.

Jay raises his weapon at the sound before his brain can register what has happened. His wide eyes find yours just before you’ve hit the ground.

“Y/N!” He screams and rushes towards you. Frantic, shaky hands move quickly to remove the bandana and zip ties before applying pressure to your shoulder. “I need a medic!” He calls franticly over his shoulder, but when he turns back to you, he has to shut down the thought that you might not make it that long.

“You found me.” You try to say, but instead sputter blood onto your cheek.

“Oh, God.” He gasps. “You’re okay, you’re going to be fine.” But the more he says, the less you hear him.

“I love you.” You try to reach out to his face and graze his cheek, but your fingers won’t cooperate and only leave smudges of blood across his skin.

When your breathing starts to quicken and become more raged, he knows time is running out. So, in defiance of the orders and suggestions coming in through his ear piece, he lifts you up to cradle you to him and runs.

**

An annoying, incessant beeping is the only thing you can hear, but when you move to reach for it, a shooting pain stops you cold. You groan softly and pry your eyes open only to see both Will and Antonio hovering too close to your face.

Will starts to wave a flashlight in your eyes and you push him away. “When was the last time you guys brushed your teeth?”

Antonio chuckles softly and places his hand atop your head, his thumb brushing softly. “We got her.” He says quietly. “She couldn’t help herself. She stayed close to the scene to see the fallout and Kim caught her.”

Will nods his head towards Jay who was sleeping soundly in what you had to imagine was a very uncomfortable position. “We’ve been keeping an eye on him as well as you. Do you want me to wake him?”

You look back over at him and smile before turning back. “Better not. These are the last few moments of peace I’ll get for the next year at least. You would think someone would be a little more grateful towards you for saving their life, but I can already hear how mad he’s going to be.” Only a small part of you is joking.

“Well, I’ll get shot next time and we’ll see how you feel.” Jay’s sleep riddled voice carries from the corner, but he hasn’t opened his eyes yet. “I’ll give you an hour.” He adds before settling back in.

Now that’s the love of my life.

[bluebellwriting]

Date Night

Saru x chubby!Reader

Summary: You are a medical officer on the USS Discovery and you haven’t had a date night with your boyfriend in over a month (takes place season 2, post-Obol for Charon)

You knew something was wrong when Tracey came over to your work station with a sympathetic smile. She was clutching a PADD to her chest and her footsteps were purposeful but lacked their normal sense of urgency. She watched quietly as you healed a cut on Linus’ hand and laughed at a few of the Saurian’s jokes, waiting for you to have a moment alone because she knew how angry you were about to get. 

Once you had sent Linus off with a wave and a warning to be more careful, Tracey wordlessly hands you the PADD and prepares herself for the aftermath.

You met Saru on your first day on the USS Discovery. He had made it a point to meet every member of the crew over which he would be second in command. It was sweet, professional, considering Captain Lorca never gave two shits about anyone who wasn’t his bridge crew. You were busy setting up your work station in the med bay when you saw him meander his way over to you. He was tall, but compared to you he was a giant, and you had to tilt your head up just to make eye contact with those stunning eyes. He gave you a slight smile, introduced himself, and asked some practiced questions about your position, your history in Starfleet, etc. After you had given your answers and were suitably smitten with his kind eyes and giant, gentle hands, he had moved on to introduce himself to Hugh before you could make that vital first personal connection. You had tried not to look too heartbroken, of course, he was just being polite and was eager to meet everyone on the ship. You never even got a chance to ask him anything about himself, you were just assuming that he would be perfect boyfriend material. How stupid of you. 

But you kept running into each other in the halls and the cafeteria. It seems you made quite an impression on the Kelpien because he always chose take his meals by your side and, on the extremely rare occasions where he took a day off, he would try to align his breaks with yours. You tried not to get too excited, really, but he ended being just as tender and darling as you had expected after that first meeting. 

And apparently he thought you were just as enthralling, because after all that business with traveling to another universe and ending a war was said and done, he had nervously approached you about joining him for some shore leave in Paris.

“I would love to, my friend,” you had said.

“Oh,” he had mumbled.

“Something wrong?”

“I was hoping we would be going as... more than friends.” It was sweet and corny and you’re pretty sure he got the line from Tilly. But you were elated that you could finally call the Kelpien yours.

But you haven’t had a date night in over a month. Your shifts haven’t been lining up lately. You always seem to have nightly rounds and he is always working during the day, taking nights off at your aggressive insistence. It’s certainly not appropriate for either of you to take some shore leave during an inter-galactic crisis. But... your days off haven’t lined up in months either, which is what you find strange. You tried to line them up with his, but at some point in the last month he just decided not to take any days off at all. It was strange. And hurtful.

At first you had been angry about it, particularly at Pike for keeping you away from each other and working your boyfriend to the bone. But in the last two weeks your self-conscious mind started to wander... Maybe he was avoiding you. He was practically a co-captain at this point so he had to have some control over the scheduling. And it’s not like you were dating him for the special. treatment but, you wanted special treatment. You just wanted to spend one night cuddled with your boyfriend, talking to him in person instead of over your PADD or communicators. But the universe didn’t seem to want that for you.

Or maybe he didn’t want that for you.

Tracey had expected you to vent angrily to her about how much you missed your boyfriend, like you had every other time. But this time you just sadly shook your head and went back to work. 

“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” she says after a while, trying to coax something, anything from you.

“It’s alright.”

“I’m sure it’s just a run of bad luck, Starfleet bureaucracy and all that--”

“Tracey he is Starfleet bureaucracy.” You take a deep breath, trying to reign in your emotions. “Do you think... Do you think he’s avoiding me?”

“Oh, (Y/N), no. Why would you think that?”

“I just... I don’t know. I just feel like I’m not a priority for him anymore. I’ve tried to rearrange my shifts for him but now he’s just not taking breaks altogether. Do you think I’ve done something wrong?” Tracey gives you a sympathetic look but her eyes tell you that she’s at a loss.

“Let’s get a snack.”

“It’s not my break yet--” She grabs your hand and pulls you out of med bay. 

Tracey plops a hot fudge sundae in front of you. You quietly pick up a spoon and do your very best not to cry into your ice cream. During your walk to the cafeteria you had quietly told her more about how you were feeling. How much you missed cuddling with him, how you missed spending nights in his quarters surrounded by plants because your bed was too small for him, how you just missed him. 

“He’s a better cuddler than you’d think,” you sadly giggle. Tracey smiles hopefully, but you continue to sniffle and stir your fudge. 

“I don’t know, Trace. Maybe... Maybe he’s just bored with me and he’s too nice to tell me.”

“Oh (Y/N), I’m sure that’s not it.”

“Yeah, well, it’s something. He used to bend over backwards to spend time with me and now it’s like I have a plague.” You look down at yourself then back at the sundae then back at your thicker legs and chubby stomach.

“(Y/N) stop,” Tracey knows what you’re thinking before you can even vocalize it. “You’re beautiful. It has nothing to do with that.”

“He used to think so too,” you mumbled. “Y’know, this all started after his vahar’ai. Maybe that changed the way he thinks about me?” You look up at her with watery, helpless eyes. “I just don’t know,” you cry out right at the moment the doors slide open and in walks in the man of hour. The minute he walked in, arms swaying and uniform perfectly pressed -- God, he looked great in that uniform, no stop, you’re mad at him -- he spotted you. He beamed his “I’m happy to see you but also I’m at work” smile and strolled over, not yet noticing the red rings around your eyes.

“Good afternoon, Dr. Pollard. (Y/N),” your name is said with such tenderness that you almost forget about your earlier anger and sadness. It’s horrible. You’re in so deep you might as well have drowned in him.

“Good afternoon, commander,” Tracey says. You open your mouth to respond but the words vanish from your throat and are replaced by a thick, heavy knot. No, no, you should be angry. You should be furious. The man you love and was certain loved you back has been ignoring you and that is not going to fly.

You stand up and maneuver your way out of the cafeteria quickly, before the sobs threatening to leak past lips finally emerge. You miss the completely devastated look on Saru’s face, the way his arms fall meekly to his sides and just dangle there, the wrecked look in his eyes.

You had expected Saru to give you some time alone before coming to find you. But as soon as the doors to your quarters had closed there was a loud banging on them. Not the gentle tone of the doorbell. A banging. Followed by Saru calling out to you. You sniff but tell the computer to open the doors because you’re not quite ready to look at him yet. 

Saru has other plans.

As soon as he is inside and the doors have closed, he is crouched in front of your sniffling form sitting on the bed. Saru very rarely rests on his knees, he likes to be able rise up and run at a moment’s notice. That was the old Saru, the fear-fueled Saru, your Saru. But you are a little flattered that this is so important to him that he is willing to risk being vulnerable on his knees before you.

“My darling.” His hands reach out to touch you but you shake your head and he stills. His eyes look lost.

“(Y/N), what happened? What can I do?” You furiously wipe at your eyes but the tears keep coming. Between your sniffling you barely begin to air what has been bothering you this last month.

“I just... I just miss you. And I never get to see you, you’re always so busy and you never take any breaks or days off just for us to be together. And I just... I want to know what happened? If I did something to make you so unhappy, if you’re mad at me or disgusted by me or--” Saru is a kind man but he is not always so outwardly emotional. Emotions make you vulnerable, susceptible for predators to feed upon your every weakness. It too weeks for Saru to fully grow accustomed to the idea that you did not need him to be the big-strong-Kelpien, that you would love some affection and genuineness from him. He is still shy when it comes to initiating kisses and hugs with you, but not today. 

Before you can continue, he has is mouth over yours, trying to pore all the adoration and reverence he has for you into it. One of his hands comes up gentle hold your thigh while the other cups the back of your head just under the neck, just where your ganglia would have been had you been Kelpien. He loves having a hand there when you’re cuddling and there have even been a few instances where his hand made its way up to that spot while the ship was in danger. You have yet to verify your theory, but you assume it must be a custom from home, a way of saying, you’re safe with me. 

When you final separate you are at a loss for words, in part because you are out of breath and also because you don’t quite know what to say. Saru watches your face carefully, scanning your lost eyes for any sign of hatred or abhorrence towards him.

“How could you think that--” he starts to ask.

“How could I think that? Seriously?” You scooch away from him slightly. “You have been ignoring me, you only message me once or twice a day at this point. This is the first time I’ve actually seen you in weeks.” You cross your arms and scowl at him, effectively quelling any possibility for a kiss like that to reoccur -- even though it did knock your socks off.

“I... I...”

“So have you been ignoring me? Or am I crazy and has this all been in my mind and are you about to leave me because of my craziness?”

“I would not leave you for that.” He gives you a small, weak smile. “And... I’m ashamed to admit it but I have been avoiding you.” Your scowl falls, you can’t keep it up any more. A pathetic sob leaves you and your hand flies up to cover your mouth. 

Saru looks down in shame, unable to look at you in this state. It’s unbearable for him to see you like this, to know that he is the cause, that he had promised to protect you from pain and suffering.

“(Y/N) please, you have to know that it has nothing to do with you.” He desperately wants to hold you, rub circles into your back, sit you on his lap and curl around you.

“Then what is it?” You snap. His eyes are beginning to fill with tears as a hand goes to the back of his neck.

“I’m afraid,” he whimpers. Your eyes widen and you fight with your need to go to and comfort him.

“Of what?”

“I have been going through some changes,” he pauses to gage your reaction, “You know that. But I have been feeling things I have never felt before. I... I’m more aggressive, more argumentative. I broke a PADD a few days ago because I was annoyed, I didn’t even realize I was doing it.” He avoids your eyes, embarrassed. You hang onto every word.

“I’m becoming a new person. And I was worried that this new person,” he gestures to himself, “Is not someone you want to be with.” Oh. Oh. Oh, Saru.

“I did not mean to worry you or to make you feel as though I don’t love you because I do.” You let him grab your hands and he grips them tightly as if they are his tether to the mortal world. “I love you so, so much. I could not bear the thought of losing you or hurting you or--” It’s your turn to catch him in a kiss. He breathes a long sigh of release through his nose as your lips mold perfectly to his. Your hands wriggle their way out of his and cup his head, a privilege reserved only for you. After a few moments you pull away but your hands remain in place. He holds your right hand to him and leans in, grateful that you are still here, that you still love him.

“Why didn’t you just talk to me?” You give him a weak smile.

“I just needed to know what was going on,” he sighs. “I needed to know that I was safe for you to be around, that I had a handle on myself.”

“Well the next time you need to, you come to me,” you command and give his face a slight pat. “You scared me.” 

Guilt and more tears flood his eyes in an instant. He lurches forward and wraps his arms around you, something he has wanted to do the moment he entered your quarters. You lean your head against his shoulder and a hand comes up to rest behind your neck. His other arm wraps around your waist and gives it a comforting squeeze. He starts to whisper small devotions of love and promises to never keep you in the dark again. You melt against him, loving how secure his long arms make you feel. Tentatively, you move one of your own hands from between your bodies and up to the back of his head. Your fingers grace over the skin at the base of his skull where his neck meets it, gaging his reaction. When he continues to whisper and cuddle, you rest your entire palm there. He stills for a moment but it feels like forever as you wait. Will he push you away? Will he lecture you on the basics of Kelpien etiquette?

He pulls you tighter against him. Really, he’s squeezing you. And nuzzling his nose against the top of your head which is new and delightful and perfect.

“I’m going to request a day off each week,” he whispers.

“Really,” you say in mock disbelief. “A whole day?”

“For you, I would take entire years off.”

[chyrstis]

WlP Thursday

I swear, I’m not completing these late on purpose! I was this close to having it ready only to blink and realize that posting it around 11 PM wasn’t doing myself any favors. But this was a much needed break from any and all resume frustrations, and between that and wanting to pick every word apart right now, I feel like stress is definitely having a field day.

Tagged by a bunch of amazing people: @softmillers @sharky-broshaw @tommymillers @amistrio @teamhawkeye @scarlettkat86 @fadedjacket @fromathelastoveritaserum​ . Thank you all, by the way! <3

Tagging: @shallow-gravy​ @seedlingsinner​ @risenlucifer​ @tomexraider​ @redroci @finefeatheredgamer​ @geronimo-11​ @ma-sulevin @guileandgall​ @painterofhorizons @sneaky-apostate​ @ofravensandgenesis​ @dirtgirl​ @raisinghellinotherworlds​ @shelliechen​ and @ariestals​! I’d also love to extend the tag to anyone interested as well! If you’re excited about your work I don’t want you missing out on a chance to post it.

-

First up, I figure I should share some more Sharky/Hana, because it’d just be wrong not to. And this is immediately after the accidental kiss that they decided needed to happen which I’m 150% on board with

---

That should’ve brought his cheek in range. Instead, she got his mouth. Felt his comment as it cut off abruptly so his lips could press against hers, and it lasted all of two seconds before they broke apart.

“Oh, God. I-“  

Hana’s hands flew up. Not to actually do anything, but they hovered in front of her as she took a step back and kept her eyes aimed in front of her. Parked right on his chest, right on the words that stood out on its front, and felt her mouth open and close a good couple of times before anything actually came out.

Shit. Shit.

“You’re telling me,” Tracey replied, and dear lord, that had actually slipped out of her mouth without her meaning to.

From off to the side Hana could see Tracey stifling a laugh, and it took a Herculean amount of effort to chance a look up past Sharky’s chin. But seeing him wide-eyed and with his jaw hanging open at her killed whatever nerve she had left, and she started pointing towards the door.

“I’m just…let me get back to you on that.”

She was out before another word could be said, and tried not to stop until she’d cleared the hall and heard the door close behind her.

Stupid. Just… God, why would you-

She knew her face was burning, and couldn’t shake the feeling off. None of it, as it settled in her stomach, tying itself into a series of knots that never seemed to end, and knew that throwing coffee on top of that was probably going to be a disaster.

But she’d do it. All while knowing just how ridiculous she was being, and just how fast she was walking.

You’re an adult. Just cool it, take five to clear your head, and you can fix this. Talk your way through it, tell him it was an accident, and everything’ll go back to normal-

“Hey, H? Hana, seriously! Wait up!”

She cut into a side room and pressed her back to the wall. Didn’t move a single thing as her heart hammered against her ribs, and she listened. Running footsteps sped past that spot, Sharky’s voice following them through the hall, and she waited until both faded.

---

Second, I feel like I already posted this a while back, but I’m not about to check my tags from last year. Also from Hana’s next big fic and incredibly rough around the edges too, but let’s not worry about that right now, self

---

The roaring of the plane’s engine faded, leaving the immediate area. It would likely come back for round two, but for now it was far enough way for her to actually take stock of her current position.

She stood still, running through the past few seconds as they remained braced against the wall, and when she finally looked up at him, she noticed John’s sunglasses were missing. They had been knocked clear off of him sometime in the last minute, with no hope of ever being found at this rate. Even his hair was starting to look worse for wear, no longer fully slicked back and neat.

John, on the other hand had his eyes set right on her. So blue, and so damn perplexed it would’ve been hilarious in any other situation than this. But this wasn’t a one-off moment where they were messing with each other over the radio and he was miles away. No, he was right here in front of her, and rapidly looking more and more pissed off by the second.

Her mouth went dry. Fuck.

She scrambled to back off, but he kept on her, only a beat behind. Her revolver was right by her side. If he went for a gun, maybe she could swing it in front-

The floor ran out from beneath her before she could think to do anything else.

Part of the wall had been blown out in this area of the building, leaving a hole large enough for anyone to fumble through. Or in her case, to fall through, as she felt herself tumble backwards. She idly caught a second instance of confusion gracing John’s features, and wanted to laugh.

Two for two. For that she deserved a prize.

---

And finally, something from the No-Cult AU, because 1) the fic in question here’s one section short of being done and 2) it’s the kind of lighthearted nonsense I’m badly in need of right now.

---

“Having trouble?”

With his sunglasses still down, he’d angled his head just enough to be able to keep the lone eye he cracked open on him, and Sharky side-eyed him as he dragged his tank off.

“Yeah, it’s hot. I’m fucking swimming over here and you’re telling me you’re not?” He twisted it between his hands and squeezed, and John’s nose wrinkled at the gesture. “I’d have shed more than half of that shit after ten minutes.”

“Clearly, judging from your current state,” John said, opening both eyes to look at him. “But I wasn’t referring to any of that. It’s hardly been five minutes, and you’re all but vibrating in place. Is it really that difficult to stand still?”

Sharky gave him a withering look. “You kinda forget the part where I’m working to pay you off? And the longer I take, the longer I gotta do any of this?”

“You can take ten to rest. You can take fifteen even. If you’re tired you get injured, and if you’re injured you can’t work. Defeats the purpose of any of it, doesn’t it?”

“Well, yeah. But-”

“Believe it or not, I don’t want to see you hurt again.” John sat up, and leaned towards him. “And I’m in charge here still, aren’t I? I could order you to sit here for however long I wanted, but I won’t.”

A frown had crept in, but Sharky let it go. “Yeah?”

“Yes, because that won’t get either of us what we want, and right now I want you healthy and thinking clearly. You, on the other hand, want to be debt-free, and I think I may have found a compromise. Now, I did mention that I wouldn’t be throwing orders at you to sit still. That’s still true, but a bet? That might be more to your liking.”

“…A bet?”

John’s lips curved into a wicked smile. “That’s right. A bet. Interested?”

[hollyoaksloversx]

Double Crossing, Bird Bother, and a Total Idiot...

Rounding up a week in Hollyoaks (14th-18th October 2019)

Mercedes and Liam’s hit and run secret was almost exposed this week when Joel discovered the message left on Harry’s phone. At the start of the week, Breda decided that, as he’d been such a good boy, Tony could have some of Harry’s possessions. However, when she caught him trying to sneak Harry’s phone, Breda took them away again. Later, in her haste to keep the items hidden from Goldie, Breda accidentally dropped the phone in The Dog car park, something which she and Goldie surprisingly failed to realise. Joel stumbled across the phone and was shocked to hear the message that Harry had left for Tony, dropping Mercedes and Liam right in it over Grace’s hit and run...

Rather than take the phone straight to the police, Joel, in his infinite wisdom, decided to confront Mercy with it, and told her that he would give her one last night with her family before handing it in. Of course, Mercedes wasn’t going to let that happen and she turned to Liam for help, telling him that she would leave the village with him if he beat Joel up. Liam was only too happy to oblige, however, he was spotted by Cindy following Joel into the alley, and Cindy wasted no time in giving the police his name when Joel was discovered some time later. Joel was rushed to hospital and Mercedes threatened him into handing the phone over, telling him that she would harm Goldie if he ever breathed a word to anyone. Luckily for Mercedes and Liam, Joel agreed, and so Liam was released from custody when Joel told the police that he couldn’t be certain who had beaten him up. Back in the village, Liam was busy packing his things to leave with Mercedes, however, when he went to meet her at the folly, he was both devastated and furious to discover a letter informing him that she’d never had any intention of leaving Sylver and Bobby...

Meanwhile, it was the week of Liberty’s first scan and she was desperate for Brody and Sienna to make up before the appointment. After Liberty tried, and failed, to glue herself to The Love Boat in protest, Luke offered to help, but instead, set up a party in order to tempt Brody away. Brody ended up kissing Cindy, and Sienna was devastated when she found out. In fact, she was so upset, that she headed straight home to pack her bags, leaving Liberty concerned about what this meant for the baby. Luckily, Sienna was stopped from leaving the village by Brody, after Damon convinced him to give Sienna another chance. The pair made up and headed for the scan, however, they were too late. As Brody and Sienna entered the hospital, they bumped into a tearful Liberty, who informed them that there was no baby.

Elsewhere, Peri discovered Romeo hiding out at the Maalik’s and was shocked to hear that James had hit him. The following day, Peri confronted James over his actions, leaving Marnie and Juliet disgusted. As if things weren’t bad enough for James already, he was later thrown out (of his own flat) by his family when Marnie and Romeo walked in on him shouting at Juliet...

Also this week, Cindy was raging after discovering that a rare bird nesting in The Loft yard meant that she’d be unable to build there. Not to be deterred, Cindy roped Charlie and Leah, who were working on a wildlife project for school, in to help move the bird. However, before the kids were able to come up with a solution, their partnership was under threat when Charlie overheard Leah calling him a nerd. Charlie was hurt by Leah’s words and told her that he’d only partnered with her out of pity, as no-one else wanted to work with a racist’s daughter. Charlie spent the next couple of days ignoring Leah, but the pair eventually made up when Leah presented Charlie with a home-made bird box. Charlie was touched by the gesture and Leah struggled to hide her delight when Charlie agreed to meet up with her before school the following day. Aww! 

In other news this week, a delighted Jesse presented Liam with the adoption papers for Iona, but Grace could see that Liam wasn’t 100% sure about signing them. Mitchell remained torn between Cleo and Anita and, finally, with Walter needing a bone marrow transplant, Martine considered starting the search for her long lost child.

5 Things We Learned This Week:

1. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Oh, Joel, mate. You’re an absolute plonker. When you find out something incriminating, you don’t go straight to the person you’ve got dirt on and tell them, giving them a chance to either do a runner or harm you! You take it straight to the police!

2. Liam is a very dramatic individual. He’s lost Mercedes, and now his life’s over apparently. Liam, we’ve been here before, haven’t we? You said all this when Eva died!

3. Nana McQueen once had a sexy dream about Emmerdale’s Lisa Dingle. Luckily, Lisa’s recent death means we’re spared from a cross-over featuring a live re-enactment. 

4. Leah’s not the sharpest tool in box. Lovely idea to make a bird box, not such a great idea to make it out of cardboard! 

5. Shredding a terrible mac is very therapeutic. 

This Week’s Cast:

Breda, Brody, Charlie, Cindy, Cleo, Courtney, Damon, Darren, Diane, DJ, Finn, Goldie, Grace, Imran, Iona, James, Jesse, Joel, Juliet, Kyle, Leah, Leela, Liam, Liberty, Lucas, Luke, Mandy, Marnie, Martine, Mercedes, Mitchell, Nana McQueen, Nancy, Oliver, Peri, Romeo, Scott, Sinead, Sylver, Tom, Tony and Walter.

Blasts From The Past:

Tracey Donovan, Warren Fox, Simone Loveday, Zack Loveday, Jacqui McQueen, Myra McQueen, Mac Nightingale, Harry Thompson.

[literaryspinster]

Deleted Scene

           Then I heard it, the engine so familiar to me now I’d recognize it from half a mile away. I turned my head quickly toward it, expecting nothing and everything. But there it was, the van barreling down the street, Sam behind the wheel, Raven of all people in the passenger’s seat. He parked crookedly, like he didn’t have ten extra seconds, and leapt out to run to me.

           “Raven told me,” he said, his breathing hard and ragged as he met me by my mom’s car. “She found me at school.”

           “Rave?” I asked, she looked at me apologetically as she walked up to meet us, shy and slow, like she wasn’t sure if it was safe to come close.

           “I had to,” she said, stopping a good five feet from me. “He was really upset.”

           “I’m still really upset,” he said. “What is going on? You’re leaving?”

           I couldn’t explain it to him, it was like the words were caught in my throat. I looked at Raven instead.

            “I’m sorry, about everything Tracey.” She said. “If you want me to tell my dad the truth, I will. I’ll tell him it was my fault. I should have before, I was just… I was scared, I’m still scared but it doesn’t matter.” She walked the last necessary steps up to me, and offered a stiff hug, and I halfway returned it with a hand on her back as I looked at him for just a moment, defeated and sad. Raven quickly let go and I sighed toward her, squeezing my eyes shut and opening them to look at her again.

           “It won’t fix anything Rave, you know it won’t,” I said.

           “It’s worth trying though, right?”

           “She knows,” I said. “About Sam, this isn’t just about us ditching, it’s about everything. There’s no point in you telling if you’re not ready.”

           And she wasn’t, I could tell by the way her hands shook, and her voice cracked when she talked.

           After a few seconds of hesitation she finally nodded, her face still guilty. “I’ll leave you guys alone,” she said, before she started down the sidewalk, maybe back to school, maybe somewhere else. I watched her leave until she turned the corner, disappearing from my sight. Me and Sam were by ourselves on the driveway, facing each other, not knowing what to say. He looked down at the duffel bag lying by my feet.

           “It’s a school, in the IE,” I explained. “I’m sorry.”

           “And this is why you-- What, were you just not going to tell me?”

           I wasn’t, and it never occurred to me how messed up that was until I saw that betrayed look on his face. We meant something to each other, didn’t we? We’d told each other things that we couldn’t say to anyone else. We’d kissed and touched over and over again, like people in love. We may have even been in love. Looking at him now that didn’t feel like the craziest thing to wonder.

           “I didn’t, I—

           “It doesn’t matter,” he cut me off, shaking his head. “We need to fix this okay, you can’t go.”

           “I don’t think we can fix it,” I said, looking down at the grass. “I really did it this time.”

           “You didn't do anything wrong, you were just trying to help Raven,” he touched my chin, making me look up at him again.

           “If it hadn’t been this it would have been something else. I just would have ended up in the same place.”

           “And that’s what you were trying to tell me last night weren’t you? And I just, I didn’t get it.”

           “It’s okay,” I tried to smile. “It was sweet what you said. And I wish it could be that way. Because I think I could love you. I mean, if I had the chance.”

           His eyes fluttered sadly shut and he pulled me close to hug me. And I buried my face in his shirt, a tribute to the Grateful Dead that made my heartbeat weird. He felt so warm, almost fevered, and I wrapped my arms tight around his skinny waist, breathing him in.

           “You know, maybe we should just think of this as a really great summer,” I said, looking up at his face. “Maybe that’s all it was ever supposed to be.”

           “No, I don’t buy that,” he said. “This is supposed to be so much more.”

           “That’s easy to say now, but who knows if you’ll get tired of me when you’re back to your life, you know, back on the straight and narrow?”

           “That’s bullshit and you know it” he said, I halfheartedly tried to pull away, but he kept me close, needing me to hear him. “How could I ever get tired of you? How could anyone?”

           He was killing me where I stood, and I wanted to say something, anything to make it all hurt less, but mom came out just then, and I pulled away from him and watched her step down from the front porch.

           “What are you doing here?” She looked a special sort of frustrated, the kind of frustrated you get when you’re dealing with someone you really want to hit, but can’t, like an asshole customer or a small child. “Go back to school Sam, I mean it.”

           “Mrs. Haddock?” he started.

           “No, we’re not doing this. School, now.”

           “I will, I promise but you have to let me say this okay.”

           She started to tap her pointy shoe on the pavement, reluctant permission to let him speak.

           “You have to let her stay,” he pleaded.

           “Sam, the check’s been sent and cashed, her bags are packed. This is happening.”

           “I know we worried you the other night, running off, but I promise that’s not going to happen again, ever.”

           “Sam--”

           “Look, I’m not a bad guy okay,” he cut her off. “I screwed up last year, yes, but that’s one tiny thing compared to everything else I’ve done right. I’m smart, like ridiculously smart, and not like the ‘he just needs to apply himself’ kind of smart, I’ve been applying myself my whole life and I have the grades to show for it.”

           “Sam--

           “And I don’t just like the bad kind of music either,” he continued, desperately. “I like DeBussy, I could listen to DeBussy for days, DeBussy is fucking awesome,” he flinched a little, surprised at his own words. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to swear, I’m just really nervous because I can see that none of this is moving you whatsoever, so here’s this. I am in love with your daughter, like 1000 percent, off the charts in love with her, and I’m sorry I didn’t respect her enough to be upfront with you from the beginning about all of this. That was wrong, it was a mistake and I’m sorry.”

           “Sam, please stop,” she said a little more forcefully, and he took a step back, grabbing my hand. I squeezed it back. Because I knew that it wasn’t going to change anything, still, hearing him say all of that, especially the last part, was everything. I wanted to hear it again and again.

           “You don’t think I’ve ever been young?” She continued. “You don’t think I know what it’s like to be so sure that I’m in love. Trust me, it doesn’t last.”

           “You know, just a minute ago she said something pretty similar to that,” Sam said. “And I get what you’re saying, really. We get it more than you think. But you making sense doesn’t change how I feel.”

[nessxclausfan-blog]

Nightmares

I have been a Mother fan for a while now and I decided to write my own stories. I love all 3 games and they're my favorite RPG games. My OTP is the couple that doesn't get enough attention and deserves more. That couple is Ness x Claus. There's something about those two that tells me that they would be perfect together. So my stories will always be about this couple.

Also in all of my stories Claus will always be alive at the end of Mother 3, though I will sometimes change how he survives. That game broke me and I cry every time Claus dies. Anyway let's get on with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mother series it belongs to Nintendo and it's wonderful creator Shigesato Itoi.

Ness didn't know how or when it began. All he knew was that out of the blue he started having nightmares about his fight with Giygas. Every time he closed his eyes he would always find himself surrounded in darkness. He would then find himself face to face with the monster that he had destroyed. The only difference would be that he would be alone. No Paula, Jeff or Poo. He would fight Giygas alone only to lose every single time. He hadn't gotten much sleep for weeks now.

Right now it was night time which means that he would have the nightmares again. After changing into his pajamas Ness climbed into his bed and pulled the covers over himself. "Maybe tonight I will finally get some sleep." Ness thought to himself. He closed his eyes praying to get some sleep.

Ness sighed as he found himself surrounded in darkness. Giygas then appeared and Ness started to cry. "Why? Why can't you just leave me alone damn it! You're dead! You're fucking dead! So how can you still be here?"

"I will always be here."

Ness blinked. Well that was new. Giygas would always say the same words like "It...hurts it… hurts. I'm… happy. I...feel...good and I'm so sad." along with other things.

"What do you mean that you'll always be here?"

"Just what I said. Do you honestly think that I would leave? You KILLED ME now I will torment you forever!"

Ness was hit by a powerful wave of energy sending him flying backwards. "You're not real. You're not real. YOU'RE NOT REAL!"

"I am real. It was your insecurities that forced me into being. It is your cowardice that keeps me here all because your afraid you will never have what you want. That is why I will always be here. Goodbye.”

Ness gasped as he shot up from his bed panting. Ness looked at his clock and sighed as he saw that it was only 1:30am. “Great that's even earlier then last night. That was weird though, my nightmares are usually about me fighting Giygas. I’m afraid of that I will never have what I want, I know exactly or should I say who he’s talking about. It’s not like he feels the same way I do about him. God I’m really messed up.”

Ness had spent the rest of the night staring up at his ceiling with multiple thoughts running through his head.

Ness's alarm clock went off at 7:00am. Sighing he turned it off and slowly got out of bed. Grabbing a change of clothes he headed to the Bathroom to take a quick shower. Today he was supposed to meet Ninten, Lucas and Claus at the Cafe for breakfast. Ness smiled at the thought of Claus. Yes he admits that he has a huge crush on Claus, but feared that he didn't feel the same way about him. Ness loved everything about Claus. His Orange hair, his smile, his personality and even his non human parts like his robotic arm and eye.

After finishing his shower Ness headed to the Cafe in Onett to meet with the others. Upon entering the Cafe he noticed that he was the first to arrive. Picking a table he sat down and waited for the others to arrive. Ness was to busy thinking about Claus that he didn't notice the others arrive.

Ness snapped out of it when someone snapped their fingers. He looked up and blushed when he saw Claus staring at him with a smirk on his face. "Well look who finally came back to the world of the living. Thinking about what to order?"

Ness laughed nervously. "Yeah, that's it. I'm deciding between Pancakes or French Toast."

"Hey Ness!" Lucas said with a smile.

"Hi Lucas. Hi Ninten."

"Sup Ness." Ninten replied.

The other three took a seat and picked up the menu on the table.

"So how are you guys doing?" Ness asked.

"Pretty good." Ninten said.

"Great." Lucas said.

"Not to bad." Claus said. "What about you?"

Ness frowned for half a second before smiling. "Never been better."

Ness noticed that Claus's eyes narrowed at his statement. Now that he thought about it, Claus always did that every time he said that. He began to wonder if maybe Claus knew that he was lying about being alright. “He couldn’t know could he? Lucas and Ninten believe me. Maybe I'm overreacting."

"Are you sure your alright?" Claus asked again.

“Fuck he knows." Ness thought to himself.

"Yo Claus he said he was fine so leave him be." Ninten said as he placed the menu back on the table.

Claus was about to say something when a waitress came over. "Sorry for the wait, can I take your orders?"

Ness sighed with relief at the distraction. "Yeah, I'll have some Blueberry Pancakes with extra syrup."

The waitress wrote it down before looking at Lucas. "What about you sweetie?"

"I'll have 8 Omelets please." Lucas said kindly.

"I'll also take 8 Omelets." Claus said.

"And I'll have some French Toast."

The waitress nodded her head. "Okay, I'll be back in a little while with your orders." she said before leaving.

"Oh yeah Ness I almost forgot!"

"What is it Lucas?" Ness asked.

"On the way over here the 3 of us were discussing about having a sleepover. So are you in?" Lucas asked.

Ness shrugged. "Sure I'm in. Who's house will it be in?"

Ninten beamed. "Yours of course!"

Ness raised an eyebrow. "Why mine?"

"Isn't it obvious? Your house is bigger then all of ours." Ninten replied as if was a stupid question to ask.

It was true Ness's house was bigger then all of theirs, but not by much. Though this might be the chance that Ness was looking for. It was decided at this sleepover, Ness would confess his feelings to Claus.

"Okay, when is it?" Ness asked.

"Tonight." Claus replied.

Ness nodded his head. "Alright, I'm looking forward to it." “Hopefully I won’t end up waking up and screaming. That will be embarrassing and I’ll have no choice but to confess to everyone else.”

The waitress had finally come with their food and they all ate in silence.

It was around 5:30pm when Ness heard a knock on the door. "Don't worry mom I got it!" Ness said as he ran toward the door and opened it. "Hey guys."

Lucas was the first to walk in followed by Ninten then Claus. "We're gonna have lot's of fun!" Lucas said with a smile on his face.

Ness laughed. "We sure will."

"Boy's, Tracey dinner is ready! Go wash up." Ness's mom called out.

"Okay Mom." Ness replied. "Come on you guys can put your stuff on my bed."

Ninten, Lucas and Claus placed their stuff on Ness's bed before heading to the Bathroom one at a time to wash up.

After dinner Lucas, Claus and Ninten followed Ness into his room where they played video games until it was bedtime. Everyone changed into their pajamas before heading off to bed. Before Claus could enter the Bedroom Ness grabbed his human arm. "Claus can I talk to you for a minute?"

Claus blinked and looked into Ness's room only to see Lucas and Ninten giving him a thumbs up. Both of them knew about his crush on Ness and they both encouraged him to tell Ness his feelings. "Sure Ness."

Ness and Claus walked further away from the room. When they were away from the Bedroom Ness took a deep breath. "Claus, we've known each other for a year now and I know that you might not agree with me, but I love you Claus. I loved you since I first met you."

"Ness when I first met you I knew there was something special about you. My heart leaped every time I saw you and I didn't know why. Now I finally realized why."

Ness gasped. "Do you mean that-"

Claus smiled and nodded his head. "Yeah, I love you too."

Tears started to fall from Ness's eyes and he wrapped his arms around Claus before kissing him on the lips.

Claus was surprised, but then wrapped his arms around Ness and kissed him back.

Ness ran his tongue over Claus's lips as if ask permission.

Claus opened his mouth which allowed Ness to stick his tongue inside his mouth. He let Ness's tongue explore around his mouth before he started to have a tongue war with Ness. They broke apart after about 2 minutes.

"You have no idea how happy you've made me." Ness said with a smile on his face.

Claus wiped the tears out of Ness's eyes. "You know it's not nice to lie to people. I know that you're having nightmares Ness. You may have fooled my brother and Ninten, but you don't fool me."

Ness sighed. "Yeah, this morning I finally realized that you knew all along that I was lying. By the way, how did you know I was lying?"

"How did I know? It's because your not the only one who's been having nightmares. Well I used to have nightmares but not anymore. My nightmares were about my time as the Masked Man and how I tried to kill Lucas. During our final fight I tried to kill myself. I used my remaining strength to fire a powerful electric attack at the Franklin Badge so it would reflect back at me. But Lucas figured out what I was doing and quickly tore off the Franklin Badge and tossed it aside causing him to take my attack instead. I honestly thought he was going to die, but we brought him to the healing Hot Spring right by where we fought and he quickly healed up in no time. Of course we got into an argument with each of us calling the other an idiot, though the real idiot was me."

Ness smiled. "Well I'm glad you survived. You're not going to try to do that again will you?"

Claus shook his head. "No, I learned my lesson. Suicide isn't the answer to one's mistake. I'm glad that everyone forgave me and I'm glad that I met you."

"So how did you get your nightmares to stop?" Ness asked.

"I simply just slept close to Lucas and suddenly they just stopped. Maybe it will work for you too." Claus replied.

Ness took Claus's hand. "Shall we find out?"

Claus nodded his head. "Yes, let's find out."

Both of them walked back into Ness's Bedroom only to see that Ninten and Lucas were waiting for them. "So are you two a couple now?" Ninten asked.

Claus rolled his eyes. "Of course we are. Now I'm tired so I'm going to bed. Come on Ness." Claus walked over to Ness's bed and climbed on with Ness following after. Claus wrapped an arm around Ness and pulled him closer to himself. "Goodnight Lucas and Ninten."

"Goodnight Claus and Ness." both replied.

"Goodnight guys." Ness replied back.

Claus smiled. "Goodnight Ness, have pleasant dreams."

Ness smiled back. "Goodnight to you to Claus."

With that said both fell asleep and after that night Ness never had a single nightmare ever again.

[dyllandobroden]

MY GIFT for my amazing #stydiapositivitypartner, HILLARI @forevermieczyslaw

summary: Everyone is trying to stop Stiles from breaking his heart, but they don’t realise that Lydia’s is the one that’s breaking.

a lil’ note for my partner: Hi, sunshine! I’m Edie, if you didn’t already know. Thank you so much for giving me a second chance. I’m glad you liked the original one I sent you! This has the same idea and summary as the last one, but it’s written a lot better this time (the beginning didn’t change much, but the middle/end did). Hope you still like it!

“Stiles, come on. We need to go,” the mole-faced boy heard his friend say faintly next to him; but he didn’t listen. Instead, he was focused on the strawberry blonde wonder in front of him.

There she was, the Lydia Martin, on the floor of the sheriff’s office, blood pouring out of her and onto the floor.

And he was just standing there, watching the emerald-eyed girl in pain. And all he could think was; she’s going to die. But he refused to believe it. She couldn’t die. She was Lydia Martin. She was going to win a Field’s Medal.

“Stiles, come on. Malia might be hurt,” the tan boy stressed. But the whiskey-eyed boy continued to ignore him. He knew he should be thinking about Malia, his girlfriend; but not now. Not when Lydia was on the ground trying her hardest to breathe.

Stiles wanted to move. He wanted to go to the basement and see if Malia was okay. To see if his actual girlfriend was okay. But he couldn’t. He was stuck there by fear. Paralysed by the thought of Lydia dying on the floor of the Sheriff’s office.

He noticed everyone calling for his attention; Scott, Deaton, even his own father; but he could only hear the heavy breaths from the pale girl in front of him.  

It wasn’t until a strained voice spoke that he snapped out of his delusional state.

“Stiles,” the weak strawberry blonde spoke out.

“I’m fine. Go. Go find Tracey.” Stiles still didn’t move. She wasn’t fine. She was everything but fine.

“Stiles. Go!” She softly yelled, putting on a pained smiled that didn’t reach her eyes.

That’s when Sties got into full gear. He quickly left with the others, the injured girl still on his mind.

They were all at the hospital; the whole pack, hoping that their friend would be okay. Because let’s admit it, they wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for the intelligent strawberry blonde.

But Stiles was going out of his freaking mind. He wasn’t hoping, he was praying. Begging someone, anyone to make sure the little 5’3’’ girl was okay and safe again.

Melissa McCall walked out, a small smile of relief plastered on her face. “She’s going to be alright. She needs to stay in the hospital a little longer, but she’s going to make it. Only family can visit.” Everyone let out the breath they were holding.

“But, she specifically requested that Stiles see her. Only family can see her, but I’m allowing it for one minute.” All eyes were on the flannel-wearing boy. He looked over at Malia, who gave him a slight nod, and followed the nurse into the dingy hospital room.

And there she was. Lydia Martin. Still beautiful, even if she was attacked only a few hours earlier.

“Stiles?” She called out in the room as the door opened with a squeak. The boy was by her side instantly, placing her small hand into his large ones.

“Lydia, thank god you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you died. Please don’t ever scare me like that agin. I can’t loose you; you know that,” he blurted out, whiskey eyes burning into emerald ones.

“I’ll try,” she managed to get out, trying to get rid of the fireworks from her stomach as her best friend was holding her cold hand into his warm ones.

And it was silent, but neither of them minded. The disheveled-haired boy admiring the strawberry blonde’s sparkling emerald eyes and her soft porcelain skin. The hospitalised girl memorised the number of moles that were scattered across the boy’s face, connecting the space between them.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Stiles needs to leave now. I’m going to give you a little something to help you go to sleep; alright, Lydia?” The girl nodded in response.

Right when the boy was about to leave, the girl blurted out, “Stiles, you have to see me when I’m allowed visitors. Please, Stiles. Promise me. Please.”Her voice rushed and breathless. She had a look of pure desperation and hopelessness of her face, that he just couldn’t reject. He agreed; and with a slight smile on her face, she was put to slowly put to sleep.

“She’s allowed visitors on Monday at 17:00,” the nurse told him, leaving to take care of her other patients.

The mole-faced boy made a mental note. Monday. 17:00. 71 hours and 4,260 minutes until he could see the prodigy once again.

It was Monday; 16:31. Twenty-nine minutes until Stiles could see the familiar strawberry-scented air once agin.  

He grabbed his red hoodie that was atop his navy blue sheets when a familiar blonde blocked the doorway.

“Malia. I need to-“ She cut him off. Walking into the room, closing the door behind her.

“I need to talk to you now,” she said harshly. Stiles looked at the clock; 16:43; seventeen minutes. With a rough sigh, he placed his jacket on top of the wooden desk sitting in the corner of his room.

“What is it? I have places to be.” He was agitated. He needed to see Lydia. He craved to see her sparkling eyes, her porcelain skin, her beautiful smile that made him return one every time.

“Look, I know that you like, Lydia,” she bluntly said. Stiles took a deep breath of nervousness, already knowing where the conversation was heading.

“Malia,” he tried to reason with the werecoyote but was cut off again.

“Stiles. Shut up. Do you like me or Lydia?” Her eyes burning into his own as she took a seat of the edge of his bed.  

The boy’s eyes went wide with surprise. He couldn’t deal with this now. He had to go see Lydia. He promised her.  

“Malia, what do you mean?” He asked her, staring at the digital clock in the corner of the room; 16:52, eight minutes.

“You heard me. Do you want me or do you want Lydia. You have to choose right now, because I’m not going to be lead on like every other high school girl.” Malia’s eyes were starting to gloss over. For the first time ever, she looked small; weak, causing the boy’s own vision to blur as well.

He quickly wiped the non-existent tears from his eyes and with a hint of annoyance in his voice, he said, “I don’t have time for this. I need to visit, Lydia. Can we just please do this after I see her.”

Stiles grabbed his hoodie and was about to turn the door handle when he heard, “You walk out that door and we’re through.”

Stiles was about to stay. He really was. He was about to run into his girlfriend’s arms and apologise a million times over. But he didn’t. Instead, he ran out his bedroom door. Because it wasn’t any girl and Malia. It was Lydia Martin and Malia.

As he ran down the dark hallway, slipping a few times during the way, he finally realised that he loved the emerald-eyed genius. Stiles Stilinski loved Lydia Martin.

When he reached the bottom of his wooden stairs, he saw his father look at him, disappointment in his eyes.

The Sheriff rubbed the back of his neck and said, “I heard your guys’ conversation. Stiles, I know that you love, Lydia. Everyone does. But please just go back to Malia; she’s good for you. She’s not Lydia, but at least she’s someone who won’t break your heart.” Stiles was out before the Sheriff could finish his sentence.

As the whiskey-eyed boy cursed at every red light or slow car in his path, there was a strawberry blonde girl sitting in a hospital bed, arms folded around her knees and her back leaning against the wall.

“He didn’t come back,” the teenage prodigy whispered, refusing to let out the tears forming at the bottom of her eyes. She looked out the window, a blue Jeep nowhere in sight.

She had lost all hope of her knight in shining amour returning. The forest-green-eyed girl looked down at her feet. She normally wouldn’t let anyone make her cry, make her feel weak. But she allowed for a single tear fall down her porcelain cheek. Because it was Stiles Stilinski. He was more than just a high school boy. He was her best friend. He was her family. He was her everything. Her was her first love.

The mother looked at her daughter in worry, having never seen her daughter in such a state was the one she was in. The strawberry blonde mother couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the girl, looking back on her own experiences of heart break.

“I know, sweetie. I know. I know how much you loved him,” her mother, Natalie whispered back, rubbing her daughter’s arm in comfort. She did. The heartbreaker, Lydia Martin love the dork, Stiles Stilinski.

The strawberry blonde teenager couldn’t help but smile back at a memory as she saw a blue blanket draped across a chair in the corner of the room. They were in their junior year looking for William Barrow. The pair were in the boy’s room looking at any clues that would lead to them finding the mental man.

She noticed different colour strings in neat rolls on the edge of his bed. She asked him what all the colours meant. Green was solved, yellow was to be determined, and red was unsolved. But blue? Blue was just pretty.

Ever since that day, the green eyed teenager tried to incorporate blue into all of her outfits, hoping that somehow the mole-faced boy would think of her as “pretty”.

Her mother left after a while, wanting to giver her daughter a little space. Lydia then starting planning on what she was going to say to the sarcastic boy when he came; if he came that is. The whole reason why she wanted to see Stiles first was because she had planned to tell him about her ongoing feelings. But there was only one problem.

Malia Hale. There was nothing wrong with the girl expect that she had Stiles; she took him from Lydia. When the strawberry blonde found out about the new relationship, she cried for hours on end, curled up her queen sized bed.

It hurt that he was with someone else, because it chose someone else that wasn’t her. But the thing that hurt like absolute hell was that he was happy. Lydia had only caused him pain and tears; something the boy didn’t deserve at all. But Malia didn’t do that. Malia didn’t hurt him; she treated him right; like he deserved.

It was 17:26. Stiles was twenty-six minutes late. He ran through the elevator doors to see the werecoyote sitting next to the puppy-faced alpha. How could she have possibly gotten there earlier than him? He pushed it aside and headed towards the Martin girl’s room.

Before he could reach the front desk, he was stopped by his best friend. The anxiety-ridden boy rolled his eyes, predicting the conversation he was about to have his lifelong friend.

“Stiles, Malia told me what happened,” the tan boy trailed off, referring to the dirty blonde sitting in one of the waiting room chairs.

“I know what you’re going to say, Scotty. But, can we please talk about this later. I’m already twenty-six minutes late and I promised Lydia I would see her at 17:00,” the flannel-wearing boy pressed, tapping his foot in anxiousness.

“Look, I just hope you know what you’re doing, because I don’t want to see you hurt again.” Stiles rolled his eyes in response.

“I know what I’m doing. I’m going to see Lydia and hope to God she forgives me for breaking the one promise I made to her.”

“I just want to know why you let Malia go. She was good to you. Why did you do that? Just because Lydia gives the slightest hint that she likes you back, you’re just going to throw away everything you have! You’re such an idiot sometimes. Just please don’t let your heart break this time.” The alpha gave his fellow pack member a sympathetic smile and joined Malia in the dating area.

Trying to ignore his friend’s words, Stiles ran to the reception desk, spotting the familiar wavy hair of Melissa McCall. It was 17:30, now he was thirty minutes late; great.

“Where’s she? Where’s, Lydia?” The boy asked as he approached the nurse.

The McCall mother let out a heavy sigh and said, “Scott told me what happened between you and Malia.” Not this again.

“I know Scott was a little harsh with his words, but he just wants to protect you from getting your heart broken again by the same girl. Let me ask you something; is she worth it? If she’s not then just go back to the waiting room with the others and leave this all alone. If she is, however, then go; get your ass into that hospital room and tell her how you feel.”

Her motherly advice made Stiles think. Was she worth it? Was Lydia really worth all the pain and suffering he went through? Would he really go through all that pain again for her?

“Yes; she’s worth it. She is everything to me. And I wouldn’t forgive myself if I just let her go. I love her so much, Melissa. I love her so much is hurts. So, please don’t try to stop me because I will find a way to get to her. Just tell me where she is.” Melissa grinned as she heard the boy’s confident words.

“Right this way, Mr. Stilinski. Go get your girl.”

The hospital room door burst open, showing the whiskey-eyed boy that Lydia missed so dearly.

“Stiles,” she breathed out in complete and utter joy, still not believing he was standing right there in front of her. He kept his promise.

Before another word could leave her full, pink lips, the boy rushed out, “Lydia, I’m so sorry I’m late, but I need to tell you something. You’re worth it. You’ve always been worth it. I even broke up with Malia to prove it.”

The girl’s face instantly lit up at his words, but then realised something. “You threw away your happiness for me.”

“What do you mean, Lydia?” He asked, starting to get nervous by her words. He lost everything for her. She couldn’t reject him. She just couldn’t.

“You’re so stupid, Stilinski. You were happy and you just threw it all away like it was nothing. And what for? For me? Because I don’t want it. I’m not worth it.” Lydia hated the words coming out of her mouth, her heart starting to crack when she saw the boy’s lost expression.

“What are you talking about? Why aren’t you worth it?” He grabbed the girl’s cold hand, his eyes staring into her own.

“Because I don’t love you, Stiles! You need to stop hurting yourself for me, because I don’t want you. I’m letting you go.” The strawberry blonde was on the verge of tears as she yelled the lies to the boy she loved. She couldn’t let him sacrifice everything for her. It was too much. She really wasn’t worth it.

Stiles scoffed in response. “You know what, Lydia? All day people have been warning me to watch out for my heart, afraid that you’ll break it. And every time they told me, I thought; Lydia loves me. She wouldn’t be leading me on. She wasn’t cold enough to do that. But guess what? You are! You are cold and heartless and push someone out right when they start to care about you. You’re right. You’re not worth it.”

Right when the door shut close, Lydia cried. She cried more than when Jackson called her “ugly” and a “slut”. She cried more than when Aiden passed away by an Oni sword. She couldn’t stop crying. She didn’t want to stop crying, because she deserved it. She deserved to feel the same pain Stiles felt.

The whole pack noticed the caramel-eyed boy’s pain and immediately buried him with comedies and ice cream that night.

But they what they didn’t notice that not only one heart broke that night, but two.

an extra lil’ note: Hi, peaches! Hope you enjoyed this! If you like my writing, I do write stydia one-shots and headcanons on Wattpad [sorry it’s not on AO3 or anything]. My username is: @photoshopflowercrown and the book should be called nostalgia. You totally don’t have to do that, but if you wanna that’s there.