#He deserved a gorgeous and varied career

[gaywatch]

Listen I spent high school and college studying theater and I've been a fangirl for like twenty years I have never had any problem accepting that an actor plays one completely different role and then jumps into another okay the public has freaked out over the dumbest things like when Heath Ledger went from Gay Cowboy to Joker or when young actors grow up and start doing adult roles or when comedy actors do something dramatic like none of it has ever phased me I have never been rigid about an actor only being One Character and not "allowing" them to be anything else because it's silly and absurd so when I tell you the only thing Ji Sung has been and ever will be to me is Kang Yohan I need you to understand

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Encounters Her First Full GMMTV Upfronts Experience: A Personal Journey Into GMMTV2024

LOL, I don't mean to be dramatic -- I was around a little bit (?) last November for the GMMTV2023 upfronts, and I honestly did not know what was going on, except to scream about Cherry Magic Thailand. Back then, I was much more of a Japanese BL gal (see: Cherry Magic), but now I'm down with the GMMTV scene, as it were, through my Old GMMTV Challenge project, and I'm ready to wax on deez trailers.

One huge overall note: YES TO DUDES NOT BEING IN BRANDED PAIRS. Your Gawins, your Ohms, your Thors, your Joss-es. YES. This is an exciting line-up to me to see the dudes getting mixed up. As much as I loved Be My Favorite, I don't need to see GawinKrist again.

I am stealing the formats of the wonderful @bengiyo and @neuroticbookworm to offer my thoughts on the trailers! (My list is literally gonna look like everyone else's list, LMAO).

FUCK YES

My Golden Blood: Joss, Gawin, Mond, Neo. Vampires. Blood. Baseball bats. LSKDJFLSJDFLKSJDGLKJSDLGKJSLDKGJLDSKF. The SFX are gonna be SO BAD. Joss sucking Gawin's blood will be SO FUCKING GOOD. I AM STILL SCREAMING. OBVIOUSLY.

Kidnap: Ohm Pawat's next BL. While he had previously said that he wanted Bad Buddy to be his last BL, the bullying scandal that he encountered this past year makes this decision a sensible one to get back on the brand engagement train. His co-star, Leng Thanaphon, is gorgeous looks like he's making a strong debut. I am very happy for Ohm, but I think I am a bit spoiled by knowing his previous non-GMMTV oeuvre so well (Make It Right, Dew, He's Coming To Me), and I'm feeling like GMMTV isn't pushing his acting chops as much as they used to. (Meaning.... I'd be okay if he left GMMTV one day to do more movies.) Time will tell, but I am happy for him -- he is a king of BL, the most prevalent actor on the OGMMTVC list, and this'll let him rebuild his career. He deserves it, and is a personal fave of mine.

Wandee Goodday: YO. So obviously this looks intriguing! But like -- I'd expect Golf Tanwarin to be doing this for another network. Full-frontal, heavy (HEAVY!) sex talk, smoochin' everywhere. I'm impressed GMMTV is going here. It's perhaps because I have Domundi on the mind heavily with my recent ZeeNunew education, but I have been feeling as of late that GMMTV has been choosing fluff and/or crap romance (SEE: DANGEROUS ROMANCE -_-) over... pure sex, as it were, and this is getting closer to a Domundi-style show than even where Only Friends went. I LOVE THOR. I LOVE THOR!!!! I'm excited for this, and me likey the looks of Inn.

On Sale: I am LOVING this new we're-not-in-school-we-are-just-insane TayNew era. And Jan is a FAVE FAVE FAVE of mine, and looks like she's gonna level this show the FUCK up. I'm SO INTO THIS.

Pluto: For sure I am watching this for Film (oh, and hi, Thor and Arm!). I'm not the biggest Namtan fan? I wasn't the biggest fan of her acting in Midnight Museum or UMG. Kinda flat. But she's at the top of the popular actress list at GMMTV, and it's great that someone of her prominence is flirting in the QL space. Film, though -- Film has CHOPPPPPPPPPPS and will likely eat this role. We might never get EarnPear, but this might be close.

My Precious: For NanonFilm, anything. But this is just the movie with more scenes, right? I don't know if it was ever going to get international distribution as a movie anyway. K. I'll buy it!

The Trainee: Tell me where I've seen OffGun do movie shit before -- and I don't mind the slight theme repeat. KapookPiploy, huh? I have not seen Vice Versa, but I really enjoyed Sea Tawinan in that. Gun crying, not surprising, but I officially stan OffGun because of Not Me, and I'll stand by this one.

UMMMM

My Love Mix-Up: See here for my initial thoughts. I came to Thai BLs from Japanese BLs. Kieta Hatsukoi was one of the first JBLs I discovered specifically through Tumblr. Japanese BLs are so varied -- and I think, when one is watching JBLs, to have a gentle/general sense of how sex is perceived/managed/dealt with in Japanese culture. I'm not gonna get into this too much here, but the ways in which Japanese and Thai societies deal with sex is very different. Anyway. I think my own mental dissonance on this conversation is coloring my thoughts on My Love Mix-Up Thailand/Kieta Hatsukoi Thailand. Pairs are not repeated in Japan (unless you have second seasons of the same show), and to have an established branded pair in GemFourth in Ida and Aoki's roles -- I'm just, I'm not sure. I don't want the show to feel pressured to go to a place it wouldn't go to without a branded pair. Will Thailand pay homage to Ida's unique and inquisitive demi identity? Can the branded ship economy manage that? I dunno. Let's wait and find out.

Summer Night: I'm going to be gentle on this one. I like that Phuwin takes on various het roles. I happened to LOVE HIM in The Warp Effect. And I like Bimbeam in here -- she actually showed some firm chops in 55:15 Never Too Late. Only if the schedule allows will I take this one, but I actually like the smell of it a bit.

Ossan's Love: What in the EarthMix. Ossan's Love was often cited as queerbaiting material for early Japanese BLs (EDITING TO ADD: just want to clarify that that statement literally came from my early days in JBLs reading Twitter; thank you to @twig-tea and @nieves-de-sugui for the clarifications in the comments!); I have never watched it, but understand its importance in the Japanese BL repertoire. I'm gonna remain sus on this until we find out more. (Although, I'm VERY EXCITED to see a channel like TV Asahi break out of the Japanese paradigm of not collaborating with other countries to get this on Thai TV air. TV Asahi and TV Tokyo for Cherry Magic are real groundbreakers, and I do dig that.)

Only Boo: When I was talking about this show with friends, and @neuroticbookworm said "Book's in this," I WAS LIKE, WHO'S BOOK? LMAO. Let me see Book away from Force for a GOD DAMN SECOND. I know we don't know anyone in here, but the actors actually seem strong! This was a fun preview.

We Are: Lots of couples. PondPhuwin, MarcPawin, WinnySatang, Aou and that other dude. What is this, a New Siwaj show? I might have enough to watch next year without needing to watch ANOTHER school drama. We'll see.

LIKELY NOT

Enigma 2: Not a fan of Win Metawin, and didn't watch the trailer.

High School Frenemy: I understand this is a K-drama remake of School 2013, which I haven't seen. I... am trying to understand the story here, but happy for View/June/Mark/Prom to be in a show together, and I'll pay more attention when the show's closer to airing.

HARD PASS

Ploy's Yearbook: Did not watch the trailer. I understand there's a storyline with Joong's character romancing his adopted sister. HARD. NO.

[cianishere]

why richard robbins is a king among men, or an analysis of the maurice (1987) soundtrack

hello, i am gay, a former band kid, and a slut for classical music analysis…… so i’ve been wanting to do an in-depth analysis of Richard Robbins’ absolutely breathtaking soundtrack for Maurice (1987) for some time. it’s an incredibly emotionally moving work of art, but i also feel like there’s so much care and thought and soul put into the pieces of the soundtrack, and Robbins absolutely deserves all the credit in the world for writing the perfect accompaniment to the film. the songs have lives of their own, outside of the film, but they also breathe a certain life into the scenes when paired with the performances of the actors and the cinematography and camera work. the soundtrack means so much to me, so i wanted to take a moment (or a few thousand words or so) to expand on all of its intricacies. i’m not a professional musician or a music student, i’ve j been playing woodwinds for over a decade and can find my way around a guitar and piano, so these are my thoughts and interpretations as a musician. feel free to share yours! this was a bit of an undertaking, so i recommend reading while listening, and i hope u enjoy!

(the pieces are listed in order of their appearance in the film, not the album)

PROLOGUE - THE LESSON

The opening piece is a very traditional overture, setting the mood for the film and foreshadowing the (musical) events to come. It begins with a mysterious, almost eerie sound with pizzicato in the low strings and high woodwind and harp lines before opening into the dominating melody in the high strings. Though the melody is grand and moving, it also has an air of hesitancy, almost melancholy, and in this moment, we’re introduced to Maurice’s musical signature, the clarinet (specifically, the low clarinet line). The low clarinet triplets and the sets of five recurring notes in the low flute and violin create a sense of impatience and forward motion, as we can sense young Maurice’s uncertainty in his conversation with his headmaster. This section transitions into a solo in the English horn, which Robbins uses to represent the idyllic, pastoral English countryside. Here, it seems to signal both the natural surroundings that the scene takes place in, as well as the pastoral beauty of childlike innocence. This solo honestly gets me EVERY TIME, it’s so gorgeous and the gradual layering of other instruments underneath is mesmerizing. The piece ends with shrieking upward woodwind scales, capturing the sense of impending fear that we can sense in young Maurice.

AT THE PIANOLA

This piece is a bit strange to listen to outside of the film, as it plays in the scene as Clive and Maurice play Featherstonehaugh’s pianola in his Cambridge dorm room. The piece captures Clive and Maurice’s pianola playing, which echoes the thematic melody introduced in the opening composition, but the single piano line is quickly swept away by a traditional string orchestra before moving into a call-and-response between the high strings and high woodwinds. I always thought this piece was so beautiful in its development, growing from a simple piano melody into a fully orchestrated concerto. The melody, particularly in its piano form, always struck me as very French, reminiscent of the French Romantic pianists with some impressionist elements as well. The transition from piano melody into the full orchestra is welcome, but overwhelming—it evokes the excitement and intensity of falling in love, as the film reaches the precipice of Clive’s confession. The instrumentation is also fascinating here: as I mentioned previously, Maurice is musically represented by the clarinet and/or woodwind melodies, but Clive usually comes through as high strings. This piece is pushed forward by the strings, as the violin and viola take on the melody under the piano and are followed by the woodwinds. The woodwinds follow the strings in a call-and-response pattern, musically establishing Clive’s lead in their romance, with Maurice following along with his advances, especially at first.

MISERERE (GREGORIO ALLEGRI)

UGH I have so much to say about this piece. I want to start with its origins, which is a setting of Psalm 51 to music, at first for the exclusive use in the Sistine Chapel during Holy Week (a nod to this scene taking place in the spring, around Easter). We all know this piece and the scene it accompanies, as those shots of Cambridge (and that wicker chair) are forever immortalized in my heart (<333) The lyrics are incredibly significant, as Psalm 51 is a confession of sin by David—specifically, of his feelings of lust for Bathsheba.

Have mercy upon me, O God: after Thy great goodness. According to the multitude of Thy mercies, do away mine offences. Wash me thoroughly from my wickedness: and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my faults: and my sin is ever before me. Against Thee only have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that Thou mightest be justified in Thy saying, and clear when Thou art judged.

David is asking for mercy for his act of sin, and to be “cleansed” from his lustful act by God.

Make me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from Thy presence: and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. O give me the comfort of Thy help again: and stablish me with Thy free Spirit.

He prays for God to return to his life, and to give him salvation again.

I think this choice of psalm is SO fascinating, as it can take on two meanings. On one hand, it represents the feelings of guilt that both Maurice and Clive feel for their attraction to each other, knowing that their feelings are considered to be sinful in their (and the societal) understanding of Christianity. In a way, this piece can signify both Clive and Maurice asking for that salvation and asking to be saved from their desire. On the other hand, however, I think the choice to overlay this particular piece with Maurice and Clive’s first moment of physical intimacy is critical in interpreting its meaning. Rather than asking for salvation from God, the psalm’s lyrics could also represent Maurice and Clive asking for salvation from each other through their desire. There are a few points in the psalm that could be read in a rather different light in this context, particularly “Thou shalt open my lips, O Lord: and my mouth shall shew [show] Thy praise.” The “high spirit” that they are searching for, in this case, is not the forgiveness of sin by God, but rather the intimacy and physical affection of a lover. (As Forster points out in a later section of the book, one’s God and one’s lover can be equal “incentives to virtue.”) I feel like this psalm is being used in both ways: as a reminder of the internal and external pressure that Maurice and Clive face, but also to musically express the reciprocal desire they are seeking from each other as they begin to explore the physical side of their relationship. This piece is also just so damn beautiful, the high C just gets me every fucking time. The specific vocal arrangement—and the excerpt of that arrangement—that Robbins decided to use highlights a solo female soprano, sounding almost like a Greek siren. As her voice emerges from the varying vocal textures, there is a sense of seductiveness, but there is also a loneliness there, as she stands alone among the choir. The choice to center the soloist was a beautiful way to show the loneliness that Maurice and Clive feel as they both continue to hold that fear and hesitancy about their feelings and desire.

THE CAFE ROYAL

This piece plays during the infamous “to the ladies!” scene, during which the Halls and the Durhams are dining together, and Clive announces his decision to become a barrister and enter politics. This piece begins as a classic, grandiose waltz, representing the glamor and high society lifestyle that the two wealthy families live within. At the beginning especially, it seems almost overstated, hinting at the façade of British upper-class life that Maurice desperately despises. As the piece continues, a duet of low clarinet and oboe emerge with a woeful melody that is built upon on its repetition by a dark solo cello line. (I don’t play double reeds or cello but they’re two of my favorites, and all I can say is that Richard Robbins knew how to pick instruments that fuck, plain and simple.) The contrast in mood created between this grand waltz sound and the individual instruments emphasizes the trapped, isolated feeling that both Maurice and Clive feel as upper-class British men, expected to have careers, marry, and build families. Stuck in the middle of their constructed lives, Maurice and Clive are represented by the duet and solo lines, standing out among society and desperate for an escape.

IN GREECE / THE WEDDING

This piece opens with a haunting melody that sounds almost like a chorus—I’m still not entirely sure what the instrumentation of this section is, but it sounds like high woodwinds and strings layered together and/or an echoey, chime-like percussion instrument. The lone melodic line overlaid with harp runs (again, Robbins said I will exclusively highlight instruments that fuck hard, and ignore everything else) in the beginning brings the same sort of haunting loneliness as in “Miserere,” evoking the duality of the Greek siren as well as the hymnal church choir. Gradually, the piece builds into a waltz through the development of a pizzicato bass line as well as running woodwind and string harmonic lines. I think the use of a waltz in this section of the piece is a symbol of the bitter end of Maurice and Clive’s relationship, as the minor key and legato melody in the high woodwinds gives the waltz a mournful quality.

The opening section of the piece is quickly interrupted by the abrupt and angry sound of an organ. Rather than romantic, this interlude is loud and overwhelming, representing Clive’s overzealous transition into heterosexual marriage and family life. The interlude then transitions into a beautiful but incredibly sad melody, reminiscent of the music that might accompany a funeral service. This short but emotive section is probably one of my favorites in the entire soundtrack—as it plays, we can see Maurice exiting the wedding chapel after Clive and Anne, and that hidden pain and fear and loneliness is brought to life by this melody.

PENDERSLEIGH IN GLOOM

Simultaneously romantic and melancholy, this short piano interlude demonstrates the inspiration that Robbins took from classical French pianists. This composition reminds me of a transition section within a Debussy piece as the uneven tempo and dynamics exude emotion, conflict, and hesitation. In this moment in the narrative, between Clive’s marriage and Maurice’s meeting of Alec, Maurice is in a state of contemplation and uncertainty, and Robbins has reflected that perfectly.

MISS EDNA MAY’S SURPRISE / THE TRAIN

Though this piece is definitely not the most sonically appealing, I think it is the most texturally interesting on the soundtrack. The piano melody in “Miss Edna Mae’s Surprise” begins as a playful, jaunty, idyllic piece, but quickly builds drama and transitions into the surreal and eerie. The melody wavers between fun and nightmarish, never fully settling into one, but establishing tension through the contrast between the two. As the piece builds layers of woodwinds and strings, it continues this contrast between the expected, playful melody and something more sinister before suddenly merging into a screeching, forceful ending with high woodwinds and piano. Similar to “The Café Royal,” this piece represents the internal conflict that Maurice faces and his fear of settling down into the heterosexual family structure. While there is a sense of joy and happiness on the surface level, as Maurice acts the part to uphold societal norms, internally he is incredibly afraid of being trapped in a cycle of marriage and family that would be unfulfilling and dishonest to his selfhood.

The next section of this piece, “The Train,” is one of the most creative compositions I’ve heard in a long time, and I was honestly blown away when I listened to it closely (and LOUDLY). Rather than using train sound effects, Robbins uses the sounds of the orchestra to emulate the different sounds one might hear on a steam engine train. The rhythmic beat of the railway tracks underneath the train car are created by repetitive staccato notes in the strings and percussion. The airy, legato sound of the steam engine is actually created by single reed woodwind instruments played in a particular way. The woodwind players are blowing air into their instruments with a very loose embouchure, which is the muscle tension created by the lips around the mouthpiece that forces the wooden reed to vibrate and create sound. By loosening their embouchure, the players are blowing air into their instruments without the reed vibrating, resulting in a sound resembling air or stream escaping from engine pipes (can u tell im a clarinet player :-)). The melody of this piece emerges in the high woodwinds, including upper clarinets, flutes, and oboe. The melody line is eerie and tense, much like the mood of the train scene in the film, and the blended lines are erratic and dissonant. They seem to echo and fade in strange ways, mimicking the sound of an approaching or departing train whistle. Robbins is able to capture the sounds of a steam engine locomotive while also establishing the tension and conflict in Maurice’s character in this scene. As a woodwind player, I am in complete awe at Robbins’ creativity in building this composition, and I honestly think his ability to layer these sounds to create such a complex, textured sonic landscape is nothing short of genius.

THE MOONLIT NIGHT (a tiny bit nsfw, feel free to skip!)

Maurice’s nightmare of the “sinking ship” of heterosexuality is brought to life through an eerie, isolated English horn solo over tense string chords, eventually transitioning into a low clarinet melody, Maurice’s musical signature. Slowly, as Maurice’s nightmare fades away and he wakes up from his sleep, the low clarinet melody diminishes and is overtaken by low, warm chords in the lower woodwinds (bass clarinet, my beloved <3). These low sounds are interrupted by hesitant but curious flute runs, through which Robbins introduces Alec’s musical manifestation. The flute sounds grow faster in tempo and more intense in sound as Alec watches Maurice from outside his room but reduce to a single line of low strings, woodwinds, and percussion as he climbs through Maurice’s window. This ominous and minimal sound is gradually layered with sudden high strings, led by Maurice’s low clarinet, before fading away into near silence until the first touch suddenly takes the piece into swift motion. It develops into a beautiful and intricate waltz as Maurice and Alec embrace, representing their intimacy through the style of a partnered ballroom dance. The melody of the waltz, layered over staccato strings, is an ascending, fluttering scale that begins in the clarinet before finishing in the flute. Robbins’ choice to compose the melody as a shared scale between Maurice and Alec’s respective instrumental representation is a perfect way to express their first night together, and the airy, light, understated flute is a brilliant way to embody the spirit of Alec’s character. In the final section of the piece, as the melody grows irregular and begins to fade away, the ascending lines and rhythmic pizzicato strings begin to mirror the gasping breaths and soft moans of intimacy, constructing a gorgeously imaginative musical landscape for this critical scene.

ALEC’S FAREWELL

This short but expressive piece captures Maurice’s transition from dejected acceptance of Alec’s departure to a tentative hope as he realizes that Alec has missed his boat to Buenos Aires. Plucked bass and a fragmentary string melody overlay a tense, oscillating clarinet line, representing Maurice’s internal anticipation as he anxiously fidgets in the taxi ride back to Pendersleigh. At this point, Maurice does not have confirmation that Alec has purposefully missed his boat to reunite with him, but the suspense created by Robbins’ minimalistic composition leaves room for such a possibility, without completely revealing its certainty.

THE BOATHOUSE

This piece begins as Maurice makes his way towards the boathouse on the evening of Alec’s expected departure. He has just spoken to Clive, confessing his love for Alec, and now hopes to be reunited with his lover in the boathouse, the safe haven that Alec had promised Maurice after their first night together. Continuing where “Alec’s Farewell” left off with an oscillating clarinet line and minimal strings, the piece quickly erupts into motion as a solo clarinet begins a low triplet melody, accompanied by strings and a solo oboe harmony (the clarinet line is fucking FIRE and I would pay so much goddamn money for the sheet music). The clarinet solo moves swiftly, desperately, shifting between major and minor keys to represent Maurice’s restless search for Alec. As he enters the boathouse, the clarinet ascends a scale before lingering on a high A, as if he is calling for Alec. When the call is not answered, the clarinet line repeats, bringing Maurice’s anticipation to its height until he opens a second door and finds Alec resting within the room behind it. As the two meet and share a moment of reconciliation (“So, you got the wire, then?”), a lingering bass note (another one of Alec’s musical representations) swells into serene, legato woodwind chords that echo until their final kiss, and Alec’s “Now we shan’t ever be parted, and that’s finished.”

While listening to this song more closely, I was completely struck by its similarities to Leonard Bernstein’s “Somewhere” from the 1957 musical West Side Story. The final chords in “The Boathouse” are strikingly similar to the final high woodwind chords echoed by a low bass line in “Somewhere.” Bernstein also highlights clarinets throughout the musical, particularly to emphasize the vocals of the protagonist, Tony, while using flutes to underscore the voice of María, Tony’s love interest. Aside from the musical similarities, I think the thematic parallels between the story of Tony and María are worth mentioning as a source of musical inspiration for Robbins. A retelling of Romeo and Juliet set in 1950s New York, Bernstein’s West Side Story is a classic tragedy of an unconventional relationship that is unaccepted by society. Although not sharing in its tragic ending, Maurice definitely builds on the cultural trope of two star-crossed lovers desperate for an escape from a prejudiced society. Bernstein himself was gay, although he spent much of his career closeted, and West Side Story (particularly “Somewhere,” but also “One Hand, One Heart,” “Tonight,” and “Finale”) became emblematic of the struggles that gay couples face, especially with the popularity of musical theatre among American gay men. The lyrics (copied below, but I highly recommend finding the 1957 ballet version or the 1961 film version!) represent Maurice and Alec’s story beautifully, and the fact that Robbins was inspired by this piece of media that holds so much significance for queer people when composing the soundtrack for Maurice makes my gay little heart grow three sizes <3

There's a place for us, Somewhere a place for us. Peace and quiet and open air Wait for us, somewhere.

There's a time for us, Some day a time for us, Time together with time spare, Time to learn, time to care. Some day, Somewhere, We'll find a new way of living, We'll find a way of forgiving. Somewhere, Somewhere . . . There's a place for us, A time and place for us. Hold my hand and we're halfway there. Hold my hand and I'll take you there Somehow, Some day, Somewhere!

CLIVE AND ANNE

For Clive’s final scene, Robbins returns to piano and string instrumentation in the melody, representing a return to the traditional life that Clive now finds himself living with Anne. This variation on Clive’s signature melody, however, is significantly slowed down, almost to the tempo of a funeral march or dirge. As he shuts each of the windows, eventually stopping for a brief moment to reminisce on his time with Maurice, the melody grows increasingly loud and desperate as the high woodwinds are layered in. The sudden and dramatic development of this piece sound like a futile cry out for help, as Clive remains trapped in a prison of his own creation. The composition ends without a concluding chord, tense and unresolved. It’s fascinating to me that we can hear Robbins’ simultaneous resentment and pity for Clive—though the piece is deeply sorrowful, Robbins does not leave Clive with a satisfying ending, choosing to keep him suspended in the societal purgatory that he chose for himself. 

END TITLES

Are you crying yet? No? I don’t believe you. Robbins establishes the ending to the story by building the piece off of a gentle, pastoral variation of Maurice’s low clarinet melody. The legato chords and balance of high and low instrumentation recall Robbins’ musical sampling of “Somewhere” before the melody shifts into a call-and-answer duet between the clarinet (alongside an oboe) and flute. Much like the clarinet and flute duet in “The Moonlit Night,” the two lines blend together—but in this final composition, Robbins has written the two parts as complementary, yet distinctly different, rather than imitations of one another or two segments of a single line. The melody becomes a conversation between two harmonizing entities who are sharing in the creation of something wholly new. The duet tapers off into an English horn solo over a harp line, bringing back the idyllic English countryside that we first saw young Maurice exploring in “Prologue – The Lesson.” In this final piece, Robbins adds on to this solo with the clarinet and flute before the melody spreads throughout the full orchestra and builds to a grandiose and rousing finale. I think the English horn solo is the part that breaks me every time because of its introduction in the very beginning of the story— through this understated melody, Robbins is assuring us that Maurice did stay true to himself, and he did find his happiness, though it may not be what Ducie or anyone else wanted for him. Maurice and Alec in the clarinet and flute, alongside the English horn, managed to find harmony in each other and peace in a life built on a love they shared, and nothing more.

[percywinchester27]

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-14)

Word count: 2.1K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Fluff!

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: Here’s a sweet sweet chapter for y’all

The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23​​​. You’re the best

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

27th October 2008

“Where are we going?” 

You peeped out of the window. Even though the landscape was familiar, you had never been to this side of the town. Sam was following the highway, so it was easy to keep up with the direction.

“You’ll see,” he gave you a sideways smile.

Contrary to what you had believed, Sam did own a car. Actually, it was more of a minitruck, but a mode of transport nonetheless. He said it was mostly parked out at Dean’s garage, since Sam hadn’t been around to drive it.

You hadn’t even known that the father of your to be child owned a car, till he turned up in Aunt El’s driveway to pick you up today, honking loudly with a huge smile on his face. The truck was nowhere as smooth as Dean’s Baby, but Sam seemed to like it. You rolled down the window and closed your eyes as the wind rushed through your hair.

The events of the past week came to your mind. The way Sam had stood by you, his hand tightly gripping yours as you broke the news to Ellen. She hadn't been happy, not even a bit. Sam took all her anger head on for knocking up her niece, without saying back a word. After she had exhausted herself and plopped on the sofa, face in her hands, Sam had kneeled by her and assured her that he had every intention of taking care of you and the baby, that you were his responsibility now. Even though aunt El hadn’t responded to him, she had mellowed out eventually, and started smiling even. In fact, the night before, she had come up to you to advise you about the terrible morning sickness you were suffering through. 

The first trimester seemed to be a whole new ordeal in itself. The dizziness and bloating you could take. The vomiting however...

Jo had been a blessing through all this. She helped you in the mornings and after your aunt had stormed into her room, she had hugged Sam very tightly and congratulated him with a very sincere smile on her face. The scene brought tears to your eyes. 

The one reaction that had actually blown your mind was Dean, who had stormed in the next morning and scooped you in his arms, his booming laughter brightening the house. You didn’t think you had ever seen anyone that happy. Even now, the memory of his hug and his words brought a smile to your lips.

I’m going to be an uncle! Oh, this is awesome. YOU are awesome!

“What are you thinking?”

You turned your head to see Sam smiling at you. He smiled a lot lately, like he was happy every minute of the day.

“Nothin.”

You could watch him smile like that all day long, the dimples digging into his cheeks and tongue peeking out to lick his bottom lip.

“Look out the window.”

You did and were awestruck by the expanse of water stretching along the highway.

“That’s the Clinton lake,” he said. “Dean used to bring me here for fishing. I was awful at it.” He scrunched his nose.

You gazed out at the clear blue of the water and the varying shades of green surrounding it. It was serene in a timeless way. Sam parked the truck along a shoulder and helped you down.

"Sam, this is beautiful," you breathed, taking in the perfect spot. It was the edge of the lake and the water lapped at the edges of what looked like a stretch of rocky land… almost a beach but not quite because it graduated into soft grass followed by a stretch of shadowy trees. 

"Come." He pulled you by your arm, leading you to one of the biggest trees. You watched as he laid the blanket you had brought along and smoothed it out for you to sit on. 

Sam busied himself with pulling out the eatables from the basket- A bag of cookies, two packed sandwiches- Chicken, because Tuna made you sick these days- fresh fruit juice and cheese and cracker, carefully laying them out. It didn’t miss your attention that his hands were shaking slightly. He was nervous.

It was predictable. Afterall, he had only found out a week ago that he was going to be a father.

“I’ve been thinking,” you said, slowly nibbling at a cracker. “I don’t want to go to college this year.”

“What?” The napkin dropped from his hand. “But Y/N…”

“No buts,” you said firmly. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. I know we talked about me attending the classes while being pregnant and then hiring a nanny, but I want to look after the baby. I feel like I’ll be miserable all day in classes otherwise.”

He gave you a hard look, like he was choosing his words very carefully. “Are you sure?”

Everyone- especially, Sam- had been asking you that question a lot lately. Are you sure you want to have the baby? Are you sure you’re okay with this? Are you sure you want to move in with Sam? Just so many of them. Aunt El thought you weren’t mature enough to handle moving out of her house, so her questions were tagged on with uncertainty and condescension. You let her have it. Afterall, she was only concerned for your sake. When Sam asked the questions, though, it was always to define what you really wanted. To ascertain that you weren’t doing anything you didn’t really want to do. 

“Mhmm.” You answered. You loved that about Sam- he never discredited your opinion. The final decision about your life was always yours. Always. 

“There’s one other thing,” you said, slowly. “I want you to take that job in NY.”

This time he looked appalled. 

“Hear me out,” you said, “I’m a big girl and it’s my decision to take a gap year. That shouldn’t stop you from pursuing the best opportunity you have. You won’t be starting there until February anyway. We have plenty of time till then to go figure things out, right?”

Sam placed a hand on your arm and gently beckoned you to him. Abandoning the cracker in your hand, you went willingly, stretching out against his long lean body, with your back to his chest. You leaned your head back so that it was resting over his shoulder. His hands automatically went to cover your belly and an unfamiliar warmth spread throughout your body.

He laughs more.

You recalled Dean’s words from a while ago about how Sam had changed. You didn't know him before you entered his life, however, now you did sense a change in him. He seemed��� content. Sam was always grinning, and when it was just the two of you, he could help but always touch you in little ways, the pinky finger wrapped around yours, back of his hand gliding against the side of your arm or touching his forehead to yours. 

It struck you brand new how incredibly gorgeous he was. Little ‘Chirp’ as you had taken to calling the baby in your head would be lucky to inherit those looks.

“You know, I’ve been doing some thinking of my own,” he said, trailing feather light kisses along the line of your neck, his hand traced the length of your arm till your hand was in his. Something small pressed into your palm, before his fingers closed over yours. You turned your hand over and opened it to find a beautiful ring nestled there.

Stunned, you looked at him.

His brilliant, beautiful eyes melted as he asked, “Marry me?” The unevenness of his voice was enough to almost undo you.

“Sam,” you whispered. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say yes,” he urged. “Say you’ll marry me and make me the luckiest man in the whole world.”

There was something so primarily vulnerable about his face that you had to close your eyes. This might have been the part of your wildest dreams and almost every bit of you wanted to say- no, to scream- yes, but you held back, trying to cling to that one shred of reason that would not let you do this.

It would be the hardest thing that you might ever have to do, and looking into his eyes would make it impossible, so your eyes remained closed as you spoke. “You’re the best person I know, Sam and I know why you’re doing this. I love you for it, but I can’t let you do this only because the baby is on the way and you think it’s the right thing to do. Because it’s not. This will affect your future in ways we can’t even comprehend right now. I won’t marry you as a compromise.”

“You think I want to marry you because of the baby? As a compromise?”

The words were so flat that you had to open your eyes, if only to see his expression. He sounded angry.

But Sam wasn’t angry, he was incredulous.

Both of his hands came to cradle your face. “Y/N, I’m asking you to marry me because I’m utterly and hopelessly in love with you. You have consumed my thoughts since the day I first saw you. My dreams aren’t complete without you in them. I’m asking you because I’m beyond sure that there isn’t another soul that I would love as much. Hell, I didn’t even know I had the power to love this much.”

You were dumbstruck.

“Baby, I would have asked you to marry me a long time ago, if I wasn’t worried about tying you down to one place. You have wings so wide and you’ve barely even tested them. I’ve always wanted for you to fly and be the best version of yourself. Now, with the baby, and since you’ve already decided to move in with me, I can’t wait to call you my wife. That’s why I am asking you to marry me.”

“What about your job, your career?” You stuttered.

“Easy,” he said. “You want me to take up that job, right? Then come to New York with me. You’re taking a break year anyway. Don’t go back to NC Central. Apply in colleges that deserve someone as bright as you.”

You shook your head, trying to believe that this was actually happening.

“The money… I’ll never be able to afford it.”

“I’ll pay.” His response was so quick, it made you realise he had thought it all through. 

“Sam, you know I can’t let you do that for me.”

He bent down to kiss the side of your face. “If you agree- and God, I hope you agree- you’ll be my wife. It’ll be my honor to help you through college. It’s a six figure salary. I wouldn’t even know what to do with that kind of money.”

Your throat tightened and tears made the side of your head ache. He was so incredibly selfless, and so in love with you. Yes, you had believed every word he had said. It was hard not to when he was looking down at you like that- as if you were a supernova, an impossible miracle.

“Yes,” you sobbed. “Yes, Sam Winchester, I’ll marry you.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” he exhaled, swooping down to kiss you with a passion that could have set the lake on fire. 

He slid the ring on the third finger of your left hand. It fit perfectly, the diamond glinting in the sun. “Happy birthday, Darling,” he whispered against your lips.

“You outdid yourself with the gift, don’t you think,” you said hoarsely, nestled against his chest, the warmth of his body seeping into your skin through the soft cotton.

You could feel the rumble of his throat as he chuckled. “What’re you talking about? You gave me the best present ever. A week ago I was only trying to crack the bar. Now I’m going to be a husband and a dad! I’m getting everything I could ever ask for.”

“You’re going to be an amazing father,” you said. “Little Chirp is so lucky.”

“Chirp?”

You beamed. “It’s what I call the baby.”

“Chirp,” he weighed the word again, smiling now, apparently having liked it. His hand had subconsciously reached to cradle your stomach.

Did things even get better than this? You wondered to yourself. The two of you could only try to place the entire world at Chirp’s feet, but he would sure rule your entire world.

*******************************

A/N 2: Like I said, the story gets a little slow, for like two more chapters. But trust me, it is necessary. I’ll try to post the next chapter a bit early ;)

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[maddie-grove]

The Top Twenty Books I Read in 2020

My main takeaways:

I’m glad that I set certain reading goals this year (i.e., reading an even mix of different genres and writing about each book I read on this tumblr). I feel like it really expanded my horizons.

There are a lot of proper names on my Top 20 list this year, which possibly means something about identity? That, or I just tried to read more Victorian novels. 

Be horny, and be kind.

Now...

20. The White Mountains by John Christopher (1967)

In a world ruled by unseen creatures who roam the countryside in tall metal tripods, all humans are “capped” (surgically fitted with metal plates on their heads) at age fourteen. Thirteen-year-old Will Parker looks forward to becoming a man, but a conversation with a mysterious visitor to his village raises a few doubts. This early YA dystopia has gorgeous world-building (notably a trip to the ruins of Paris) and expert pacing. The choices Will has to make are also more surprising and complicated than I ever anticipated.

19. What Happened at Midnight by Courtney Milan (2013)

John Mason wants revenge on his fiancée Mary after she skips town following her father’s death...apparently with the funds that her father, John’s business partner, embezzled from their company. When he tracks her down, though, she’s working as a lady’s companion to the wife of a controlling gentleman who refuses to pay her wages, and John’s fury turns to sympathy and curiosity. This is a smart, well-plotted Victorian-set novella about a couple who builds a better relationship after a rocky start.

18. Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes (1943)

It’s 1773, and fourteen-year-old Bostonian Johnny Tremain has it all: a promising apprenticeship to a silversmith, the run of his arguably senile master’s household, and...unresolved grief over his widowed mother’s death? When a workplace “accident” ruins his hand and career, though, he must “forge” a new identity. Despite its jingoism and surfeit of historical exposition, I fell in love with this weird early YA novel. It’s a fascinating, heartbreaking portrayal of disability and ableism, and, to be fair, Forbes was just jazzed about fighting the Nazis.

17. Something Happened to Ali Greenleaf by Hayley Krischer (2020)

After universally beloved jock Sean Nessel rapes starry-eyed junior Ali Greenleaf at a party, his queen-bee friend Blythe Jensen agrees to smooth things over by befriending his victim. Ali knows Blythe’s motives are weird and sketchy, but being friends with a popular, exciting girl is preferable to dealing with the fallout of the rape. This YA novel is a complex, astute exploration of trauma and moral responsibility.

16. The Color of Law by Richard Rothstein (2017)

Rothstein details how the federal U.S. government allowed, encouraged, and sometimes even forcibly brought about segregation of black and white Americans during the early and mid-twentieth century, with no regard for the unconstitutionality of its actions. He brings home the staggering harm to black Americans who were kept from living in decent housing, shut out of home ownership for generations, and denied the opportunity to accumulate wealth for generations. It’s an impactful read, and I was honestly shocked to learn Rothstein isn’t a lawyer, because the whole thing reads like an expansion of an excellent closing statement.

15. My Friend Dahmer by Derf Backderf (2012)

In this graphic memoir, Backderf looks back on his casual, fleeting friendship with future serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, a high school classmate who amused Backderf and his geeky friends with bizarre, chaotic antics. Backderf brings their huge, impersonal high school to life, illustrating how the callousness and cruelty of such an environment allowed an isolated, troubled teen to morph into something much more disturbing without anyone really noticing. It’s a work of baffled, tentative empathy and regret that stayed with me long after I finished it.

14. Daniel Deronda by George Eliot (1876)

Gwendolyn Harleth, beautiful and ambitious but with no real outlet, finds herself compelled to marry a heartless gentleman with a shady past. Daniel Deronda, adopted son of her husband’s uncle, finds himself drawn into her orbit due to his helpful nature, but he’s also dealing with a lot of other stuff, like helping a Jewish opera singer and figuring out his parentage. I love George Eliot and, although this bifurcated novel isn’t her most accessible work, it’s highly rewarding. The psychological twists and turns of Gwendolyn’s story are a wonder to experience, and Daniel’s discovery of his past and a new community is moving.

13. The Plot Against America by Philip Roth (2004)

The Roths, an ordinary working-class Jewish family in 1940 Newark, find their quiet lives descending into fear, uncertainty, and strife after Charles Lindbergh, celebrity pilot and Nazi sympathizer, becomes president of the United States. This alternate history/faux-memoir perfectly captures the slow creep of fascism and the high-handed cruelty of state-sanctioned discrimination, as well as the weirdness of living a semi-normal life while all of that is going on. Also: fuck Herman and Alvin for messing up Bess’s coffee table! She is a queen, and she deserves to read Pearl S. Buck in a pleasant setting!

12. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens (1850)

Young David Copperfield has an idyllic life with his sweet widowed mom and devoted nursemaid Peggotty, until his cruel stepfather ruins everything. David eventually manages to find safe harbor with his eccentric aunt, but his troubles have only begun. Although the quality of the novel falls off a little once David becomes an adult, I don’t even care; the first half is one of the most beautiful, funny, brilliantly observed portrayals of the joys and sorrows of childhood that I’ve ever read.

11. The Rise and Fall of Adam and Eve by Stephen Greenblatt (2017)

Greenblatt examines the evolution and cultural significance of the story of Adam and Eve from the Bible to the modern day (but mostly it’s about Milton). I can’t speak to the scholarship of this book--I’m not an expert on the Bible or Milton or bonobos--but I do know that it’s a gorgeously written meditation on love, mortality, and free will. Greenblatt brought me a lot of joy as an unhappy teenager, and he came through for me again during the summer of 2020.

10. The Music of What Happens by Bill Konigsberg (2019)

Self-conscious seventeen-year-old Jordan is mortified when his widowed mother hires Max, an outgoing jock from his school, to help out with their struggling food truck. As they get to know each other, though, they realize that they have more in common than they thought, and they end up helping each other through a particularly challenging summer. This is an endearing, exceedingly well-balanced YA romance that tackles serious issues with a light touch and a naturalness that’s rare in the genre.

9. Red as Blood by Tanith Lee (1983)

In nine wonderfully lurid stories, Tanith Lee retells fairy tales with a dark, historically grounded, and lady-centered twist. Highlights include a medieval vampiric Snow White, a vengeful early modern Venetian Cinderella, and a Scandinavian werewolf Little Red Riding Hood. Fairy tale retellings are right up my alley, and Lee’s collection is impressively varied and creative.

8. A Room with a View by E.M. Forster (1908)

Unnerved by an impulsive make-out session with egalitarian George Emerson on a trip to Florence, young Edwardian woman Lucy Honeychurch goes way too far the other way and gets engaged to snobbish Cecil Vyse. How can she get out of this emotional and social pickle? This is an absolutely delightful romance that gave a timeless template for romantic comedies and dramas for 100-plus years.

7. My Ántonia by Willa Cather (1918)

Jim Burden, a New York City lawyer, tells the story of his friendship with slightly older Bohemian immigrant girl Ántonia when they were kids together on the late-nineteenth-century Nebraska prairie. It was a pretty pleasant time, give or take a few murders, suicides, and attempted rapes. This is one of the sweetest stories about unrequited love I’ve ever read, and it has some really enjoyable queer subtext.

6. Mister Death’s Blue-Eyed Girls by Mary Downing Hahn (2012)

In 1956 Maryland, gawky teen Nora’s peaceful existence is shattered by the unsolved murder of her friends Cheryl and Bobbi Jo right before summer vacation. Essentially left to deal with her trauma alone, she begins to question everything, from her faith in God to the killer’s real identity. Hahn delivers a beautiful coming-of-age story along with a thoughtful portrait of how a small community responds to tragedy.

5. The Lais of Marie de France by Marie de France, with translation and introduction/notes by Robert Herring and Joan Ferrante (original late 12th century, edition 1995) 

In twelve narrative poems, anonymous French-English noblewoman Marie de France spins fantastically weird tales of love, lust, and treachery. Highlights include self-driving ships, gay (?) werewolves, and more plot-significant birds than you can shake a stick at. Marie de France brings so much tenderness, delicacy, and startling humor to her stories, offering a wonderful window to the distant past.

4. Maus by Art Spiegelman (1980-1991)

In this hugely influential graphic novel/memoir, Art Spiegelman tells the story of how his Polish Jewish parents survived the Holocaust. He portrays all the characters as anthropomorphic animals; notably, the Jewish characters are mice and the Nazi Germans are cats. I read the first volume of Maus back in 2014 and, while I appreciated and enjoyed it, I didn’t get the full impact until I read both volumes together early in 2020. Spiegelman takes an intensely personal approach to his staggering subject matter, telling the story through the lens of his fraught relationship with his charismatic and affectionate, yet truly difficult father. 

3. At the Dark End of the Street by Danielle L. McGuire (2010)

McGuire looks at a seldom-explored aspect of racism in the Jim Crow South (the widespread rape and sexual harassment of black women by white men) and the essential role of anti-rape activism led by black women during the Civil Rights movement. This is a harrowing yet tastefully executed history, and it’s also a truly inspirational story of collective activism.

2. In for a Penny by Rose Lerner (2010)

Callow Lord Nevinstoke has to mature fast when his father dies, leaving him an estate hampered by debts and extremely legitimate grievances from angry tenant farmers. To obtain the necessary funds, he marries (usually!) sensible brewing heiress Penelope Brown, but they face problems that not even a sizable cash infusion can fix. This is a refreshingly political romance with a deliciously tense atmosphere and fascinating themes, as well as an almost painfully engaging central relationship.

1. Mansfield Park by Jane Austen (1814)

Fanny Price, the shy and sickly poor relation of the wealthy Bertram family, is subtly mistreated by most of her insecure and/or self-absorbed relatives, with the exception of her kind cousin Edmund. When the scandalous Crawford siblings visit the neighborhood, though, it shakes up her life for good and ill. I put off reading Mansfield Park for years--it’s practically the last bit of Austen writing that I consumed, including most of her juvenilia--and yet I think it’s my favorite. Fanny is an eminently lovable and interesting heroine, self-doubting and flawed yet possessed of a strong moral core, and the rest of the characters are equally realistic and compelling. Austen really made me think about the point of being a good person, both on a personal and a global scale.

[wackygoofball]

Hey, I’d just like to thanks you for staying positive though these Braime angst times because almost all the other blogs I follow went cRAZY about him “leaving Bri for Cers” and your posts gave me new hope and reminded me of all the wonderful things that happened in that episode, so, thank you so much💗💕💕💗💕

Glad to hear it, anon!

People have their feelings, they are entitled to them, but so am I and I am a very happy customer right now because I am a thirsty bitch for drama. And we are getting it! JB being at the very center *all of a sudden* (*coughs* biggest romance of GoT/ASoIaF *coughs* *coughs*) of the relationship conflict front tells us so much more than having to feel the angst. It tells us to feel the HYPE.

They are finally where we all wanted to see them… I guess ever since Harrenhal??? One of the producers called it something along the lines of “the most reluctant romance in TV history” in his commentary on the Red Tent Scene back in season 6. And I think JB is still living up to that and it’s beautiful and dramatic and I friggin’ love it. They *are* reluctant, have been for so many seasons (books, respectively). Because they are so caught up in self-doubt and for Jaime in particular self-loathing, feeling unworthy of a good kind of life, the kind of life they wanted to have or grew to want to have, feeling unworthy of love and affection and fearing that it could never truly be reciprocated.

I could start crying at the sad beauty of this right now, but my tears can suck it because I am way too much in the HYPE.

Because yes, anon! We were given so much goodness. Brienne smiled so much. Jaime smiled so much! Can you remember the last time he smiled like that?! I mean, we are all hyped to finally see Brienne smile, but think about how often Jaime only ever had a smile to spare only for shit to hit the fan all over. He didn’t have a time to ever truly have a breather and just be happy and fool around with his brother, and he got that, and Brienne got that, too. And they shared that happiness. It was so heart-warming that I felt like Jaime, wanting to nibble off my shirt lol.

Their first time (albeit a wee bit shorter than I as a shipper would have loved it to be, but you know, wishful thinking is one thing, and the rest can be filled with smutty fanfic :) of which our wonderful fandom provides plenty!) was awesome-sauce. The glow, the tenderness, the hesitance, the awkwardness, there was a purity to this encounter that it still has me shooketh.

And even the angst-filled goodbye… LOOK AT THE GUY! LOOK AT HIS FACE! LOOK AT HIS BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, HANDSOME FUCKIN’ FACE! LOOK AT HOW HE BREAKS ON THE INSIDE SAYING THOSE THINGS JUST TO MAKE SURE SHE STAYS PUT!

BTW GIVE NIK ALL OF THE AWARDS! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! THAT GUY HAS A REPERTOIR OF EMOTIONS HE STUFFS INTO THREE SECOND BIGGER THAN THOSE OF SOME ACTORS HAVE IN THEIR ENTIRE CAREER! *waves fist in the air*

Sorry, had to get that off my chest. Back on topic:

Jaime has, ever since their roadtrip started, protected this woman. Nikolaj once commented about how Jaime sending Brienne out of King’s Landing back during the Oathkeeper episode was also fuelled by Jaime’s fear that Cersei may be on to something with Brienne after he saw her talk to Brienne and her walking off with a scared kind of expression (not knowing what truth bomb Cersei actually dropped on Brienne during the Purple Wedding aka that she loves him). The show changed the dress to an armor, a type of clothing literally meant to protect from bodily harm. He gave her Oathkeeper. And a squire to keep her company. Jaime has, at every step, tried to protect that woman to the best of his abilities within the constraints he found himself in. Do I believe that suddenly changed? Not for a fuckin’ second. This is Jaime Lannister as he lives and thrives. That guy is as hellbent on protecting the people he loves as Brienne is. Brienne is part of that circle, so of course he protects her, even if that means hurting her.

That is Jaime’s modus operandi alongside looking way too hot for me to handle. Or for him to handle, as last episode proved.

And just never forget him rubbing his thumb against her wrist. That shit still has me weak and whimpering at the beauty of it. That was just... poetic cinema!

The whole scene was a thing of beauty with the visual callbacks to Ned/Cat (arguably one of the few considerably healthy, longterm and strong relationships the entire series has ever seen, despite the fact that Ned was a douche sometimes - more often than not - and kept things from her that clearly made her feel shitty but that’s a topic for another day).

Brienne appearing in a robe that made her look lady-like and womanly and like a fuckin’ goddess rather than having thrown on breeches and a tunic or whatever! It made it all the more heartbreaking to have her feel that way while dressed that way because it just highlighted her vulnerability, but the VISUAL IS AMAZING AND THE NON-VERBAL CLUES THAT GIVES ARE OFF THE CHARTS!!!

Someone made that post and I am totally plagiarising this: this scene of her cupping his cheeks and him holding her wrist was a fuckin’ RENAISSANCE PAINTING. And JB is about to be REBORN. I am telling you!

Nik and Gwen acting the living shit out of themselves in that scene, giving us the rawest of emotions, acting out all with their facial expressions, with their FUCKIN’ EYES! Nik tells us all that we must know the way he looks at her!

So yeah, he ain’t a hateful man. He ain’t creepin’ back to his sister after having realized that Bri was not his jam. He’s doing what he’s always done, what he always does:

Protect, no matter the personal costs.

Not just Brienne, not just his family, it’s his finest act of slaying Aerys and thereby sending his reputation down the drain so half a million people could live that’s on the line! Those people are on the line! And Jaime is not part of that whole castle-swap game Daenerys and Tyrion are playing. If the guy has proven anything, then it is that he, despite of what he may have others believe or tries to make himself believe at times, is one of the few characters who actually give a damn on the smallfolk. He ended the Riverrun Siege without bloodshed (Jaime, seriously, revisit that scene, it’s in supercuts, you clearly got some things mixed up there, hon). He killed one man so half a million could live. It was not without purpose that Varys gave us that callback to how those people matter as much as any of them and how even someone Daenerys claimed to be so much more important because he is so clever, Tyrion, is in the end just as important as any other farmer going about his life. They deserve to live, and I think Jaime’s upset about Tyrion being like “just give him the Reach, what does it matter???” is all the more telling as it reaches beyond his personal conflict. The Reach is the center of food production and we are just giving it up to a sellsword who has no fuck-o to give about either politics or the people who live within the constraints of these? Fuck no.

Jaime wants to protect people. It’s been one of the driving forces in his character all along, even before we got to know him, when we were still led to the conclusion that he was just a douche that needed to be killed off because EVIL MAN!

Jaime wants to protect the people he loves in particular. For them, he goes extreme lengths. That was his family foremost, but that certainly included Brienne long before they got intimate. He’s cared about her for so very long. So I do not believe for a single second that he’d just... forget that, be able to put that aside. Jaime can’t.

And he doesn’t have to. He just has to see that. And Brienne will make him realize that.

Because as much as Jaime wants to protect everyone, factors are now changed. He just doesn’t see it yet.

Because this time, he is in for a surprise as there is someone who will protect him the same way he is committed to that person’s protection. And that will make the crucial difference, it already does. He never had that with his sister. She literally threatened to kill him, literally sent an assassin after him for having the *effrontery* not to act the way she would have liked, not falling in line when she as Queen demanded it. Jaime’s never had anyone step up for him the way Brienne did. Jaime never had anyone protect him that way.

She stood up for him during the trial when Tyrion failed.

She saved him and he saved her during the battle against the living dead.

She certainly had conversation with Sansa to ensure he was welcome at Winterfell.

She will stand up for her man and will protect him - from himself if she must.

“Nothing’s more hateful than failing to protect the one you love.” - she won’t let history repeat itself with the man who finally loves her back.

She will protect Jaime.

Jaime will protect Brienne.

And that is and has always been the very core of their relationship.

And that core is beautiful and pure and no angst gets between that.

Thanks for coming to yet another TED talk.

[oosteven-universe]

The Kill Lock #2

The Kill Lock #2 IDW Publishing 2019 By Livio Ramondelli Lettered by Tom B. Long     Bonded by their Kill Lock, four robots search for a cure—a way to live, and die, independently. Their only clue is a bot known as The Axial, supposed to be a creator of the Lock and keeper of its secrets. Of course, the first thing they have to do is find her… without getting themselves killed!    I can't believe that I wasn't sure about this when I first heard about it. I find myself so involved, invested and thoroughly engaged from the start and I simply do not wish the story would end. Part of me feels like this is a RPG game, kind of along the lines of Warhammer, but it has a definite spin on that and with the four of them it's almost like they represent the four elementals of wind, air, earth and water. Sure they have four very different personalities and they could be representative of something else along those lines but honestly I rather like how I think of them.     I have mad respect for Livio as he is pretty much doing it all here and he's doing it with such aplomb. Anyone who can write and illustrate their own work is someone that not only deserves that respect but when it's done at a level we seeing it done here well it just means he's turning a corner in his career. With his work on Transformers Galaxies and this he has vaulted himself into must follow creator whether it's just for his artistic prowess or for his writing. He has opened up a world of storytelling to me in realms I never would've though I would look twice at.     I am such a huge fan of the way that this is being told. The story & plot development we see through how the sequence of events unfold as well as how the reader learns information is laid down with such finesse. I have to say that we see a lot happening and it almost feels like it's happening quickly but it's really not and I am thoroughly impressed with how the pacing moves us through the story here. The character development is phenomenal as well. It is very easy to understand The Artisan and The Wraith and what drives them so to see The Laborer in the spotlight and The Kid and why they are so protective of him is actually heart warming. The pacing really is that good and as it takes us through the pages revealing the twists and turns helps to create this fantastic ebb & flow to the book while also highlighting how the book is structured.     These interiors are beyond stunningly gorgeous. His digital artwork is so damn impressive it's what got me to get my Transformers series. The way we see the linework and how the varying weights are being utilised to create and spotlight this level and quality of attention to detail is mindbogglingly good. The composition inside the panels and how we see backgrounds utilised in them to show depth perception, scale and the overall sense of size and scope to the book. The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels show a masters eye for storytelling. Then there is the colour work here. Now all the training in the world doesn't give you the raw talent to know how colour works like he does. To see flames, fire and destruction and from the white hot centre to the reds, pinks and magenta's in that level of heat and then to see the greens, yellows and greys in the clouds around that, this shows that kind of mastery over colour that is rare to see at this level. The hues and tones within the colours and how they create the shading, highlights and shadow work here leaves me gobsmacked. ​     I really hope that this is the first in a series of arcs that Livio has planned for this series. I really think we are only just scratching the surface on who they are and what they are capable of. This is the beginning of some dysfunctional family that if they learn to truly work together will be capable of literally anything they put their minds to. While this may have themes running through it that almost feel familiar what Livio has managed to do is create something wholly unique and all it's own that captures the mind and imagination is some incredibly strong and powerful ways.

[project-runway-rankings]

Season 3 Episode 3- Stop Doggin’ My Look!

This was one of my favorite challenges in PR history because I love dogs.  In fact, just a few weeks ago I adopted my own lil pup, Buster, a Jack-a-Bee (mutt essentially). 

This challenge brought a lot of “real-world” clothing which I kind of liked after the oddness of the first challenge and extravagance of the second.  The designers were tasked to create a look for a woman who owned a specific dog and a corresponding look for the dog.  My rankings are mostly being dictated by the human wear, unless the dog’s clothing is amazing or non-existent (ahem KEITH!!!!)

Onto the rankings:

13. Angela

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOW DID THIS NOT GET ELIMINATED GIRL BYEEE!!!

12. Katherine

I’d like to say that I can’t be too mad that Katherine was eliminated but good lord Angela’s was so bad. This look isn’t bad, it’s just nothing.  I like the colors that she chose, and the hoodie on the dog is cute.  But overall I’m severely underwhelmed. I have no idea who this girl is and why she would put her dog in a hoodie.

11. Vincent

Yawns in French.  Pretty much all of the same issues I had with Katherine’s come up here.  The cuts of everything are nice and the pieces look expensive but they look simple and boring in all black.  Once again the dog outfit outshines the girl’s, had he used that polka dot on the model in some capacity this would have been much more exciting.  I do give him points for going in a clear direction that I think Katherine was missing.

10. Jeffrey

Homeboy really had a rough start to the competition.  The bust-line is insane and there is barely any fabric to cover her boobs.  The skirt starts way to high and the top ruffle has too much fabric making her waist look larger than her hips.  But, like Vincent, he did give his girl a clear vibe.

9. Keith

Keith makes beautiful dresses. That’s all.  I’m glad that he was in the bottom for this because A) He didn’t even bother to make an outfit for the dog and B) I have seen this dress so many times before.  It is impeccably made though.

8. Mychael

I don’t have much to say because this is so boring I could cry.  The neck is interesting.  Can I go now? I’m gonna fall asleep.

7. Bradley

I want to love this look because I love Bradley as a person and the judges raved over this outfit.  However, I just can’t get behind it.  I love that he has a clear back story of his woman, a successful architect who loves interesting clothes, but it just looks messy.  The top is a bit tortured and the bottom is basic.  i can see where he was going but I am not there with him.  That little pup is my favorite, though.

6. Laura

People rave about this look but to me it is a solid middle of the pack design.  The fabric looks like an old couch fabric and the fur is super on the nose for the challenge.  The inside of the collar looks tortured as well.  The doggy sweater is cute, though.

5. Uli

I love Uli, and think she has been mightily screwed a few times throughout her Project Runway career.  But this time, she did not deserve the win.  This is a beautifully simple dress. Props for making a jacket, but the prints are doing all of the work for the dress. The dog’s outfit was probably the cutest of the day, but not enough to boost it into my top 3.

4. Bonnie

Extremely chic and modern.  The black dress is nice, but it is there to toally serve as a back drop to that amazing coat.  The varying lengths of the sleeves, hem, and scarf add interest to what could be a very boring look.  The fabric looks extremely expensive as well. I’m not sure what’s on the dog, but I see a connection between the dog and model’s outfit.

3. Kayne

When Kayne can hone the tackiness and extravagance he can really create some beautiful pieces.  This little number is so chic and wearable yet really gets the point across that this is fashion.  The print is gorgeous and pairing it with black and white really let it sing.  That coat is to die for, and he even lined it with the print.  My one issue? The weird black panel and kick pleat in the back.  Unflattering as hell.

2. Alison

Given who was in the top 3, Alison was robbed!  Everything about her model reads chic, cool, and sophisticated.  The jacket is such an odd length and cut, but it works with the rest of her outfit.  I love the use of different fabrics in the jacket as well.  The dress has some cut issues and flares out a bit too much for my liking, but it works well with the jacket and leggings.  I know who this girl is immediately and that’s the best thing to get from this challenge.

1. Robert

How was this not in the top 3!?  This is the only look where I truly would not change a thing.  The top is super cute with the bows, and he knew how to use the right fabric for it.  That print may look dated now but was all the rage in 2006, think Mean Girls or Legally Blonde. I’m glad that Robert went for a cropped pencil skirt, instead of a full one, to add some extra fashion.  The extra bling was just enough to make this a runway look.  And this girl would totally have a dog named Chanel.  Bravo Robert.

Judge’s Top 3: Uli, Alison, Bradley

Judge’s Bottom 3: Keith, Angela, Katherine

[recentanimenews]

The Wild and Wonderful World of WEBTOON Series

  Many anime fans are familiar with manga, with lots of classic and modern anime being adapted from the medium, such as Naruto, One Piece, Bleach, and many more drawing on their graphic novel counterparts. But this season, a different comic tradition is responsible for starting a new anime trend with the adaptation of Tower of God: Korean manhwa, specifically, WEBTOON series! But what are WEBTOON series and what makes them so unique? Aren’t they just Korean comics? Well, you may be surprised to learn that WEBTOON series are a global phenomenon, with readers and creators all over the globe! And furthermore, they’re a wholly unique digital platform that relies on the screen of your phone to help tell the story. If that’s got you curious, then read on!

First, it’s probably important to specify that WEBTOON series and manhwa aren’t the same word. Much like manga, manhwa just means “comic” when translated from Korean. WEBTOON series are a type of comic, but a very specific digital medium—compared to print comics, there are a lot of differences! WEBTOON series occasionally get printed as paper copies, but these are mostly collectible items rather than the regular way to read them. Instead, WEBTOON series are designed to be read vertically on screens, most specifically smartphone and tablet screens. If Tower of God made you curious enough to go check out the WEBTOON series, you might already be aware of this verticality, but for new readers, WEBTOON’s approach to reading style is very unique and can take a bit of getting used to—but it's certainly rewarding when you dive in!

Unlike manga or American comics, WEBTOON series don’t generally rely on panels and gutter layouts on single pages. Instead, WEBTOON series use an “infinite canvas,” with readers scrolling vertically down as they read chapters. WEBTOON series chapters vary in length, but many of them are pretty long. If you were to try and print out an entire chapter, you’d find yourself printing 30 plus pages or more for most titles, and a lot of those pages would be blank! When I started reading WEBTOON series, this negative space was something that really caught me off guard—at first, I kept thinking my screen wasn’t loading. I realized that titles used this white space (or black or gray!) to space out story beats and big reveals, making tense, dramatic moments even more hair-raising as my own reading speed affects how quickly I’d see what happens next. (This may come as no surprise, but WEBTOON series are really, REALLY easy to binge read!)

In fact, this use of vertical reading space and chapter size makes another aspect of WEBTOON series somewhat shocking in comparison to manga: they’re in color! While many WEBTOON series use negative space to help with that burden, it’s still quite impressive to think about how much work goes into creating weekly chapters with full color, and these vibrant comics really make their unique worlds pop on the screen. In many cases, WEBTOON series will change their background colors from white to black, or some other variation, in order to transition between things like time changes (night and day or even past and present) or to really ram home emotional moments. Watching all of the color drain out of even the page you’re reading can make the gut punches in some WEBTOON series really hit hard!

Similar to manga, WEBTOON series cover almost every possible topic. You’ll find WEBTOON series about school life, professional careers, sports, fantasy, sci-fi, and almost everything in between. On the off chance that you catch up on a long-running series, you’ll find plenty of other titles to take their place. When I first started reading WEBTOON series, I only read about five stories. Now, my subscription page is up to fifty titles! Let’s just say they can be addictive and leave it at that! Perhaps something that fewer people know, though, is that WEBTOON series artists aren’t just Korean. There are many creators from all over the world publishing WEBTOONS series and the variety of art styles and storytelling really make the platform something unique and magical to explore.

In 100 percent honesty, I was actually a pretty late adopter to WEBTOON series, as I always preferred reading physical mediums over digital and never found reading manga on my phone very entertaining. Something about "turning" pages digitally, waiting for them to load, and other things just made the experience less desirable than picking up a volume and reading it. During a layover on a flight earlier this year, I found myself stuck without much to entertain myself with except my phone and remembered that a friend had suggested I check out Tower of God. Five hours and one flight later, I had nearly drained my entire back-up battery and read my way through most of Season 2. Since then, I’ve been hooked. If you’re like me, and skeptical of digital media, I really think you should give WEBTOON series a try. In fact, I’ve got a few personal recommendations ready to get you started! All of these can be found on Naver’s WEBTOON website or app check (here for Apple or here for Google)and you can start reading them right away!

Tower of God

This is the WEBTOON series that got me into WEBTOON series, and from other Tower of God fans I’ve spoken to, that seems to be par for the course. The series has been running for nearly ten years now, so you have a LOT of reading to catch up on if you’re only just getting invested thanks to the anime this season! The adventures of Bam, Khun, and the rest of the Regulars sucked me in with it’s deep, unraveling story and I found myself having to force myself to stop reading “just one more chapter” before bed. Creator SIU has stated he’s had the story planned out from the start and it really does feel that way as you read through it, seeing little details you didn’t think about before suddenly become relevant, or small bits of dialogue or art that you didn’t understand before suddenly rushing back and making you go “HEYYY, wait a minute!” as some new development unfolds. SIU manages to follow a large, diverse cast of characters throughout Tower of God and the series absolutely deserves the attention it’s getting right now. If you’re curious to see what happens to Bam and company after the anime ends, there is plenty of Tower of God waiting for you in the WEBTOON series!

  GOSU

I’ve always been a huge fan of martial arts movies. I fondly remember how I used to watch badly dubbed martial arts flicks with my grandma as a child. GOSU, by Giun Ryu and Mun Jeong Hoo, takes me back to the magic and excitement of martial arts stories. GOSU might be the most gorgeous WEBTOON series I’ve ever read and the authors really know how to let visuals do the storytelling—there are some truly breathtaking moments in GOSU that are conveyed solely through still, almost unchanging landscapes. Protagonist Gang Yong is really quite something and there have been times when I’ve audibly gasped or yelled at big moments in this series. With the wave of WEBTOON series titles getting adapted into anime, I’d absolutely put GOSU on my list of series I’d love to see get an anime. If you like martial arts stories, or just really gorgeous art, GOSU is worth the read!

Lore Olympus

Rachel Smythe’s Lore Olympus was a series I frankly never expected to read, let alone love. Talking about Greek mythology usually makes me think back to college humanities classes or playing God of War, and while both of those were great, they weren't usually my cup of tea. I’ll admit that I actually ended up reading this one because I kept seeing it so highly ranked on the WEBTOON app��seriously, it’s number one in like, every demographic and overall—and finally gave in to the not so subliminal message that I’m obviously missing out on something here. And boy, was I! Lore Olympus is a simple concept: reimagining mythological Gods and Goddesses in somewhat “human” situations. This story is a bit mature and dramatic, but the romance and suspense in it are really something, and the art is colorful and gorgeous. Persephone and Hades’ story has never been so gripping and I find myself always waiting for the next chapter to drop.

The God of High School

Yongje Park’s The God of High School was an easy sell for me since it evoked memories of classic school battling anime like Tenjho Tenge and a hint of fighting games. Since the anime is about to begin, I won’t spoil anything, but the action in this series is top-notch with gorgeous art to match! Like Tower of God, this WEBTOON series has also been running for quite a while, meaning you’ve got plenty of material to get through. Jin Mo-Ri is a pretty deceptive protagonist, too. At first, I just assumed he’d be the usual battle-crazed fighting style character, like Goku, but he’s got his own unique personality that helps set him apart. A lot of my enjoyment of The God of High School comes from the supporting cast, which Park has really done an amazing job with. The main trio of characters is fun and strong and it always feels exciting to see various martial arts and skills used in this series. 

Sweet Home

If you like horror or zombie movies, this series might be right up your alley. I got quite a few friends into reading WEBTOON series by getting them to read this relatively new title that features some of the creepiest and imaginative monster designs I’ve seen in a while. Sweet Home’s authors Youngchan Hwang and Carnby Kim really manage to hit that survival horror itch, and in terms of using the WEBTOON series medium, I can’t think of many other titles that take advantage of the vertical scrolling pages like Sweet Home does to deliver some absolutely bone-chilling moments. As a monster horror series, it is only fair to warn you that it can be a bit gruesome at times, so please keep that in mind if you decide to check it out!

  WEBTOON series are becoming a global phenomenon. The market for them is estimated to be over 300 million USD a year currently, and with anime adaptations and even larger potential audiences about to learn of them through Tower of God, The God of High School, and Noblesse, I can only see those numbers going way up! If you’ve never tried WEBTOON, then now is absolutely the time. I guarantee you’ll find a series you’ll absolutely want to read, and then another one, and another one, and another one… Uh oh! How did that queue get so huge?! Anyway, happy reading, and I hope this helped get you interested in the wonderful world of WEBTOON series! 

Are you a WEBTOON series fanatic? Is this your first time hearing about them? Let us know what titles you like and what you think about WEBTOON in the comments!

➡️ Catch up on watching Tower of God today! ⬅️

    Nicole is a frequent wordsmith for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[so-caffeinated]

for the amelian prompt- jules meeting amelia for the first time! can't wait to see how jules reacts to will being so smitten with someone else :)

I used a random number generator to pick a prompt and this is the one that won. Incidentally, it’s almost identical to another one I got! Obviously, nothing is proofread. This takes place immediately after an upcoming one-shot, so… exceedingly minor spoilers for that. Let’s do this thing! (Writing time was an hour and fifteen minutes) cc: @dust2dust34​ …

June 2036

Amelia’s hotel isn’t far from the restaurant the girls had picked for brunch. That had been by design. She remembers college and she knows full well how many mimosas the three of them can put away when they get chatting. And they had. There’d been laughter and good-natured ribbing and innuendo and a whole lot of spiked orange juice. 

But there had also been something incredibly sobering about the brunch that leaves her half wishing she’d downed a few more glasses and half wishing she’d had one fewer. Her head is foggy right now and she wouldn’t mind either a full on giggly buzz or outright sobriety, but this halfway point is just annoying. 

Starling City’s weather is gorgeous, though. Crisper than she’s used to for June, but that’s global warming for you, and the bright sunshine makes for a fabulous excuse to don her sunglasses and take her time lingering outside. In spite of the fact that she’s not originally from Starling, that she’d only moved here for a job after college - for the job after college - when she sucks in a deep breath of air it smells like home. It doesn’t make sense, but there it is anyhow. Central City has been good to her… very good. Her job, her boyfriend, her life is exactly what she’d wanted. 

But part of her is here. Part of her wants to be at this restaurant every weekend with Celeste and Maggie. Part of her wants a tiny, one-bedroom flat to herself in the trendier part of the arts district. Part of her wants… well, part of her wants something else entire. Another city, another life. 

It’s childish. 

That’s what she decided years ago.

Life is short - life can be so short - and if you sit idly by then all your goals for it will slip right through your fingers. She’s making a difference in Central City. Her work is invaluable. She has a real impact on policy, on people’s lives. She doesn’t have time to entertain ‘what ifs,’ to linger on silly yearnings that can’t go anywhere.

“What the hell makes you so special?”

Amelia jumps at the voice, turning to find one very skeptical looking dark-haired girl leaning against the outside of the restaurant, scrutinizing Amelia like she’s been put under a microscope and she can’t quite figure out what she’s seeing.

“Excuse me?” Amelia asks. Her voice is uneasy and defensive. She’s not prepared for this conversation in any way. 

But then, she thinks Julianna Queen might relish it all the more for that.

The younger girl pushes off the wall and saunters forward, all lithe grace and confidence that Amelia absolutely does not feel in this moment. She’d look dainty if not for the black leather biker jacket and combat boots and her matching unaffected expression. But Amelia suspects that’s an act, an affect put on for the sake of her image. 

She’d know. She does the same professionally on a regular basis. 

“You,” Jules says again, folding one arm in front of herself and resting the elbow of her other on her hand as she worries her fingers together like she’s trying to physically sort things out. Amelia’s seen her father do much the same thing while working. “What is it about you that has my brother tied up in knots.”

Thank god for sunglasses, but Amelia can’t credit the mimosas for the sudden color in her cheeks.   

“Maybe you should ask him that,” she replies. It’s clipped, uneasy, and Amelia can feel her spine stiffening at the sense of an impending conflict.

“I think he’s put up with enough shit without me quizzing him about why he’s still mooning after you like an eon after one dance,” Jules scoffs.

“A year,” Amelia responds without even thinking about it. She could kick herself when she realizes what she’s said. She suspects that Julianna Queen is not the sort of person you expose your vulnerabilities to, but it’s too late now. “It’s been a year since we danced, not an eon,” she clarifies. 

Jules cocks her head to the side and looks Amelia up and down like she’s trying to figure out if she’s something she needs to scrape off the bottom of her boot or not.

“A year,” she allows a moment later. “Have you even seen him since then?”

Amelia swallows hard and looks out to the street. Cars hurry by like ants, unaware and going about their business, life on a mission. There’s no one on their side of the street, but there are plenty of people going in and out of the mom-and-pop coffee shop across the way. It’s the stuff of daily life, the ins and outs of a city’s lifeblood. It’s routine. But her moment right now is not. 

“No,” she answers. She doesn’t have to, she knows that, but for all her familiarity with the Queen men, she knows very little of the Queen women besides Moira. 

“And a year later he still looks at you like you’re the only person in the room,” Jules points out. There’s no missing the annoyance in her voice and Amelia can’t deny the truth behind her words, inconvenient though they might be. “And you sit there looking right back at him exactly the same way. Seems to me like the two of you are still dancing.”

God, there’s a thought. Amelia’s head swims at that memory - or maybe the mimosas - and the breath she lets out is a shuddering exhale before looking back to meet Jules’ gaze. 

“Your brother is a fantastic guy,” she allows.

“But, what? Not good enough for you?” Jules challenges. 

“What?” Amelia asks. It comes out on a disbelieving laugh. “What are you even talking ab-”

“You,” Jules announces angrily. “You with your high-powered job and important life. Just because he’s a firefighter instead of a doctor or a senator or something. Just because he’s a bastard. You think you’re so high and mighty. So much better than-”

“He doesn’t think that, does he?” Amelia cuts off. She doesn’t give a damn what accusations are being thrown at her, doesn’t care in the least what Jules Queen thinks about her. She doesn’t owe her any explanations. But, God, if that’s what Will thinks. If that’s what he believes, what he has believed for years, she’s not sure how she’ll forgive herself. 

But Jules doesn’t answer directly. Not right away. 

“My brother is better than all of us. He’s the best man I’ve ever met.”

“I know that,” Amelia blurts out. It’s painfully, gut-wrenchingly honest. But, God, she does know that. She’s seen it. His devotion to his family, to his job. His commitment as a brother, as a son. She’s seen it. She’s heard about it for years. Little Nate had rambled on about him all summer as he’d poured coffee around city hall years ago. Aside from his… varied romantic history splashing across the tabloids, she’d also seen much of his dedication to his siblings, his coworkers, his city written out in black and white - complete with an accompanying photo of him in uniform, covered in soot and carrying an infant out of a burning building. 

If you want to talk about good men… Will Queen is prime, always has been.

“I’m not… I know I’m not better than him,” Amelia continues, licking her lips. “I’ve never thought that. Not once.”

“Then what the hell are you doing?” Jules asks. “Why the hell are you still dancing?”

She can remember actually dancing with him, can still smell the hint of his cologne, feel the heat of his palm against her back, remember the rush of his breath as he exhaled her name out against her cheek. She dreams about it sometimes. Waking up is always brutal those nights and her boyfriend’s warm embrace is far from what she wants in the quiet, honest cover of night. 

“Dancing is wonderful,” Amelia admits aloud. “It’s fun and it’s… it’s a fantastic escape, but it’s not life.”

“Funny,” Jules says, folding her arms in front of her. “It’s my career, actually.”

Amelia thinks she’d known that, but she’s not certain and she nods her head allowing the other girl’s point. “It’s not my life,” she clarifies. 

“Because your life is all big important things without any art in them? Without any joy or expression?” Jules snorts. 

“I get a lot of joy out of my work,” Amelia bristles. 

“No,” Jules sighs. It’s a pitying noise. “I don’t think you do. I think you get satisfaction and it’s been so long since you’ve had joy instead that you’ve forgotten the difference.”

“You don’t know me,” Amelia tells her angrily - correctly. 

“Sure I do,” Jules scoffs. “I know you very well. You’re… pedestrian. You’re a person who hits the same coffee shop at the same time every day and hurries to be at their desk an hour early. You leave late and take papers home to work on at night. You probably haven’t taken a vacation since you started your job. You screw your boyfriend like clockwork twice a week just because it’s been a few days and you feel like you’re supposed to-”

“Excuse me”

“-You aren’t exceptional, Amelia. You’re ordinary. And worse, you like it that way. You’re nowhere near good enough for my brother, so quit dancing with him. He deserves better.”

Jules turns to leave at that, content to have the last word. Amelia will never know what it is that makes her speak up, but she knows she can’t allow this to stand. 

“You’re jealous,” she announces. It’s too loud, too sharp, and the incredulous look on Jules’ face when she turns around feels very, very dangerous. 

“You want to say that again?” she asks slowly.

“You are,” Amelia tells her, doubling down and pushing her sunglasses atop her head. “You’re so used to being the most important person in his world and you know I’m a threat to that. Because he does look at me and it’s like nothing exists but us, for an instant, not even you. Because you see us together and you know it could be so much more than just this, you know it could last, could be something real.”

Jules shakes her head, eyes wide and disbelieving as she runs her tongue along her teeth and takes a step closer until their toe-to-toe.

“Oh yeah?” she questions, looking up at Amelia.

“Yes,” Amelia replies firmly. 

“Fine,” Jules acknowledges, raising an eyebrow. “Then prove it.”

This time, when she turns to go, Amelia lets her have the last word. She’s not sure what she could possibly say to that anyhow.

[brendaonao3]

(1/2) "and that he's getting to work with someone of margo's caliber" Bless you, B for saying this! So tired of moans about Seb looking not his usual gorgeous self in this role. Like, can we please love, support n' most importantly give him credit for more than just his pretty face. Seb is crazy talented. I really think Bucky in MCU is as popular now is all due to Seb's portrayal n' making the best of minimum amount of screen time in CAFA.

(2/2) And irt the Margo’sfactor, she herself is another case of not just a pretty face. Criticallyacclaimed acting and hot property in Hollywood atm. The fact that she’s (oneof?) the producers of I,Tonya is such icing on the cake. I adore the idea thatshe maybe had something to do with casting of Seb. Like talent recognizingtalent. Yay!

Nonnie, I couldn’t have said it better.  Seb is way more than a hot dude with a killer voice and soulful eyes - he’s a VERY talented actor. (I mean, he’s held his own against Sigourney Weaver and Ian McShane and Susanna Thompson and Jessica Chastain, so lbr, he has chops.)  And he deserves the opportunity to stretch and shine in a variety of roles, regardless of looks. 

I want him to have a long and varied career, and part of having a varied career is, y’know, variety.   If he has a great role that requires him to be less than physically perfect or play someone whose ugliness is on the inside, then I want that for him.  Because the only way to grow your craft is to be open and willing to explore.

And I am SO looking forward to seeing Margot and Seb working together. I think she’s a phenomenal talent, and the fact that she’s also playing a completely unsympathetic character in this is also telling, and shows me that she’s also willing to take risks and that she’s willing to use her status to go outside the box.  It should be a lot of fun to watch her and Seb go head to head, especially given the source material.

I can’t wait to see the movie, and I don’t think I’m alone. :) 

[ukrainianwomenonline]

Marrying a Ukrainian Bride: Your Social Circle VS Your Marriage

We all know that nothing is perfect and perfection is a joke, so this article contains some uncomfortable truth, and you may want to skip it if you don’t like the unpleasant realism. But if you’ve decided to embrace the uncomfortable truth, please keep reading.

When you bring your Ukrainian bride to a western country, she will realize that her value is very high.

Let me start by explaining the origin of the uncomfortable truth: as a matter of fact, a lot of western women are overweight and less feminine. Worse still, they want to compete with men. No wonder the divorce rate in western countries is at least 50% (note that couples who are separated without a divorce certificate are not even in the statistics & many couples are unhappily married; consequently, the failure rate of marriages in western countries is actually 80%, according to a family lawyer in New York City who shared the ugly truth on Lewis Howes’s School of Greatness podcast).

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming western women & I’m not saying western men are perfect. I would like to point out statistics show that international dating leads to more stable marriages because Eastern European women/Western men relationships generally last longer – they are much less likely to get divorced.

Further examination reveals that Ukrainian ladiesare slim and feminine. Better still, they respect their men and don’t want to compete with men. That’s why a marriage with a Ukrainian bride is the most natural state for a western man – a marriage like that makes a western guy feel like a real man.

Of course, no one’s marriage is perfect. When you bring your Ukrainian bride to a western country, chances are she will figure out that her value is actually very high. Before moving to a western country, she didn’t know that she is a high-value woman because almost every woman in Ukraine looks very hot. However, after moving to a western country, your Ukrainian bride may realize that she looks MUCH better than other women in the West. Also, she is more feminine, more caring and more respectful.

As a consequence, she might begin to think… “Wow. Now I know I’m actually a very high-value woman, so I deserve a better life than this.”

This is where a potential problem arises – the dynamics in your marriage may change because your Ukrainian wife’s mindset has changed.

I know this is something that most people don’t want to talk about, but I’ve decided to be honest with you so that you will actually benefit from reading this blog.

If that is a potential issue, you might have to change your social circle.

This sounds a little bit ruthless. But if your marriage is more important than your social circle, you probably have to change your social circle.

Let’s say you only hang out with loser friends whose wives are overweight and ugly. Then your beautiful Ukrainian wife will get the above-mentioned conclusion immediately when she moves to a western country with you.

A big part of the dynamic which prevents us from improving our lives is our social circle. Yes, I’ve mentioned that too many western women are overweight and unattractive, but there are still some high-value men who are married to gorgeous women in western countries. Why can’t you hang out with those high-value men?

A sign that you must change your social circle is when your loser friends say things like, “No. You are not going to make it” whenever you want to achieve something big in your career or in your life. If they don’t want you to be successful, they are not your friends. Period.

Remember: Whenever you change for the better, you invalidate loser friends who have chosen to stay the same and never improve themselves.

In my opinion, an ambitious guy’s social circle should always grow, develop and vary. Otherwise, it becomes stale – it literally stagnates and stops.

If a friend of yours is constantly looking at your Ukrainian wife (and even trying to flirt with her), you have to avoid him at all cost.

If a loser friend says “Why bother? You won’t make it”, you must stop updating them on your achievements and ambitions. (Yes, I said “must”, not “should”). Never share your dreams and goals with demotivating people.

How to build a powerful network so that you only hang out with successful people:

First, you can meet like-minded people at educational conferences such as real estate investing seminars, personal development workshops and business development conferences.

Only growth-driven people would go to these events, so you will surely meet a large number of high-quality men and women. Usually, there are more men than women attending investing seminars and business development conferences, and those successful men’s wives are generally good-looking.

The unpleasant reality is many men have been married for several times. Only rich men have money to invest in something (so they go to investing seminars). When a rich guy marries his second or third wife, this new wife is oftentimes younger and hotter than his first wife.

Now once you become friends with these wealthy men, your Ukrainian wife will also meet their beautiful wives sooner or later. Then your wife from Ukraine wouldn’t think that her value is higher than every western woman she knows. And that’s exactly what you want.

What’s more, building a powerful network is good for your career and your social life as well, so why not do it now?

Second, you should become the social hub. After making friends with successful men and their wives, you would be well-advised to become the organizer. For example, you can have a Happy Hour every Thursday night and invite all your new friends to this weekly event. Tell them to bring their gorgeous wives so that your wife from Ukraine can meet those pretty ladies as well. Remember: it is your job to teach your Ukrainian wife what her value actually is because it is your responsibility to manage who she interacts with – she only knew you when she moved to a western country, so technically, she should meet all of her new friends through you.

When your bride from Ukraine can see that all your successful friends’ wives are attractive women who speak perfect English, she will want to improve herself and treat you better. And that’s great news.

In business and in life, your luck is determined by who you know and who knows you. That means this social shift will change your luck, too. In other words, when you have more powerful friends, you will also have more power indirectly and directly.

For instance, whenever your powerful friend discovers a career opportunity that suits you, he will probably think of you first. That’s how you create good luck by building a powerful social network.

Please note that when you are interacting with successful people, remember to offer value and add value to their lives, because many successful people are surrounded by individuals who are asking for things from them (their family members and neighbors are thinking… “What’s in it for me?”). Therefore, when you are able to help your successful friends, they will want to build genuine friendships with you in the long term.

“Your network is your net worth.”

Ukraine Brides Agency Blog https://ift.tt/2Xw2SHO

[mrmichaelchadler]

KVIFF 2018: Closing Night, Barry Levinson and Four More Highlights

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house as the visage of Miloš Forman once again radiated from the stage in the Grand Hall of Hotel Thermal, only this time, it was projected on a screen. As part of the elegant closing ceremony for the 53rd Karlovy Vary International Film Festival held on July 7th, an In Memoriam segment was screened that mixed Hollywood icons with giants of Czech cinema. Forman, who passed away on April 13th at age 86, served as a bridge between both worlds, and it was only appropriate that his segment in the montage was saved for last. The audience applauded throughout the entirety of the clip, showcasing the famous final moments of Forman’s Oscar-winning classic, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” where Chief Bromden pulls off a crowd-pleasing escape. Yet the cheers morphed into an aching silence, as footage materialized of the filmmaker accepting KVIFF’s highest honor—the Crystal Globe for Outstanding Artistic Contribution to World Cinema—in the exact same theater 21 years ago. There’s no question that the presence of Forman’s spirit was palpably felt throughout the evening. Though Robert Pattinson received the most media attention while accepting the President’s Award, it was a fellow honoree, veteran Czech actor Jaromír Hanzlík, who earned the most rapturous ovation of the ceremony. 

The past week has left me feeling drained and exhilarated, and I wish it could’ve gone on for at least a week longer, if only so that I could find time to see more of the winning films. The Grand Prix went to Radu Jude’s Romanian drama, “I Do Not Care If We Go Down in History as Barbarians,” a film that juror Mark Cousins hailed for “pointing a finger at the people who are rewriting history.” 33-year-old Olmo Omerzu, one of my very favorite modern Czech filmmakers, earned a richly deserved Best Director prize for his latest triumph, “Winter Flies,” which I reviewed in my second dispatch. “Sueño Florianópolis,” a family road movie from Argentinian director Ana Katz, took home a Special Jury Prize as well as the Best Actress accolade for its lead, Mercedes Moran, who ended her speech by calling for the legalization of abortion in her home country. Other big prizes of the night were given to Moshe Folkenflik, Best Actor winner for the Israeli film, “Redemption,” and Elizaveta Stishova’s Kyrgyzstani/Russian co-production, “Suleiman Mountain,” Grand Prix winner in the East of the West competition. Yet perhaps most potent of all was the recipient of the top prize in the documentary competition—a picture that is destined to galvanize American audiences as midterm elections inch ever closer on the calendar.

“Putin’s Witnesses” is the latest amazement from director Vitaly Mansky, whose penchant for keeping the camera rolling has served him remarkably well over the years. His 2015 film, “Under the Sun,” contrasts scenes crafted for propaganda purposes by the North Korean government with moments of unscripted truth. His new film has similar origins—the footage was originally captured for the purposes of Vladimir Putin’s electioneering, intensified by the sudden retirement of Russian president Boris Yeltsin on New Year’s Eve of 1999. What immediately sets Putin apart from a crude blowhard like Trump is the cool-headed, persuasive nature of his public persona. He comes across as a reasonable human being, granting Mansky and his camera jaw-dropping access, while willingly engaging in the filmmaker’s spirited debates. Yeltsin mistakenly thinks the newly elected Putin will fight against totalitarianism while ensuring the freedom of the media. Instead, as evidenced in numerous onscreen conversations, Putin intended to exploit the nostalgia of the populace by guiding it backwards through history toward a revived Soviet nationalism. A string of bombings further fuel Putin’s agenda, causing citizens to vote with their heart rather than delve too deep beneath the surface of the candidate’s promises or omissions (such as his never-addressed economic plan). It’s not long afterward that TV journalists will be censored for speaking out against Putin, while those less lucky will simply be bumped off. “Tacit concern,” as defined by Mansky, is what turns witnesses into accomplices, and the director reveals himself to be one of the most crucial witnesses of all. 

Ranking high among the other gems I caught at KVIFF is Alonso Ruizpalacios’ “Museum,” a Mexican heist film that is so much more entertaining and thoughtful than I had expected it to be. It’s also a huge upgrade from the naggingly dull “Ocean’s 8,” and not just in terms of how it utilizes museum locations. Having just serenaded the world with the tear-jerking tune, “Remember Me,” in Pixar’s great and regrettably timely “Coco,” Gael García Bernal turns in another splendid performance as Juan, a determined young man who goes to extreme lengths in order to remind others about the importance of history. Inspired by a real-life burglary of epic proportions, the screenplay by Ruizpalacios and Manuel Alcalá (which earned a Silver Bear at Berlinale) is narrated by Benjamin (Leonardo Ortizigris), the friend Juan recruits to help steal priceless Mayan and Mesoamerican artifacts from the National Museum of Anthropology. Though’s Juan’s motivations occasionally seem no less empty-headed than those of the kids in “American Animals,” at one point claiming that he’s simply tired of “waiting for something to happen” in his life, his true purpose stems from the betrayal he felt at a young age from watching these precious items stolen from the land where they originated. Cinematographer Damian Garcia creates compositions worthy of Hitchcock—the actual heist sequence is hold-your-breath suspenseful—and the filmmakers continuously succeed at what Juan had always strived to do: they exceed expectations at every turn. 

Guaranteed to be more polarizing with audiences is the latest dizzying spectacle from Gaspar Noé, the visionary French provocateur who routinely pushes the envelope on what viewers can withstand before fleeing from the theater. With the exception of his 2009 masterpiece, “Enter the Void,” Noé’s films are comprised of overwhelmingly visceral moments strung through a narrative that is less-than-memorable. In the case of “Climax,” perhaps the first picture in his career that is proving to somewhat of a crowd-pleaser, the first half is so deliriously enjoyable that one hopes the second half—where everything inevitably goes to hell—will never arrive. After a series of talking head interviews with young dancers, which materialize on a television screen surrounded stacks of prophetic VHS tapes (including “Suspiria” and “Labyrinth Man,” a.k.a. the original title of “Eraserhead”), the film dives headfirst into a group dance number so spectacular in its frenzied choreography and swirling camerawork (kudos again to Noé’s irreplaceable DP, Benoît Debie) that the Grand Hall erupted in applause. Think the opening sequence in “La La Land” if the lyrics had been “Another Day of Drugs.” Yet once the sangria at this all-night dance party becomes spiked with LSD, the film becomes considerably less interesting, as the kids stumble through a murky labyrinth while tearing each other apart. Still, Noé never reaches the explicit levels of sex and violence that defined his earlier pictures, thus making this one his most accessible to date. 

If any intriguing line could be drawn between “Climax” and “Cold War,” the latest black-and-white marvel from Polish master Pawel Pawlikowski, it is the frequent insertion of black frames throughout the narrative. Whereas Noé uses a black screen to separate shots that are meant to resemble seamless blocks of unbroken time, Pawlikowski cuts to black whenever his narrative skips over a chasm of time in order to arrive at the next pivotal moment in the torrid romance between a musician, Wiktor (Tomasz Kot), and a singer, Zula (Joanna Kulig). In a tale that spans fifteen years and multiple countries, Pawlikowski beautifully illustrates how, as one character observes, time doesn’t matter when one is in love. When this pair gets together, it’s as if the years they spent apart have faded into the ether. Zula is a fascinating character prone to making bold decisions, including one that has proven to define her life. When prodded on why she nearly killed her father, Zula explains, “He mistook me for my mother, and I used a knife to show him the difference.” Though “Cold War” doesn’t quite have the emotional impact of Pawlikowski’s 2014 Oscar winner, “Ida,” it is every bit as exquisite a showcase for cinematographer Lukasz Zal, filling the 4:3 aspect ratio with a painterly level of detail, culminating with an impeccably timed gust of wind. Yet my favorite scene of all is when Zula dances at a bar to “Rock Around the Clock,” prompting the woman seated next to me to start dancing in her seat. Only a few evenings beforehand, I was at the same venue—the gorgeous Neo-Baroque Municipal Theatre—watching Tim Robbins and The Rogues Gallery Band bring down the house with a two-and-a-half hour Fourth of July concert. Their final song was “Hang On Sloopy,” another golden oldie that brought the entire theater to their feet singing. It was a euphoric experience that easily topped any fireworks display I’ve attended. 

Last but not least, I must share a few highlights from this past weekend’s press conference with Barry Levinson, another of this year’s Crystal Globe honorees. The film for which he earned the Academy Award for Best Director, 1988’s “Rain Man,” became the surprise winner of KVIFF’s Právo audience award, thanks to its thirtieth anniversary screening at the festival. Of course, before I knew Levinson as an accomplished director, I knew him as the deranged bellhop who stabbed Mel Brooks in the shower with a rolled-up newspaper in 1977’s uproarious Hitchcock parody, “High Anxiety.” I couldn’t resist asking Levinson about this scene, and he was only too happy to discuss it.

“I was one of three writers who worked with Mel Brooks on the film, and we would throw ideas around,” Levinson told me. “Sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn’t. At one point, I started talking about Bernard Herrmann’s music for the shower scene in ‘Psycho’—‘EEE! EEE! EEE!’ I started putting lines to it and went, ‘HERE! HERE! HERE!’ The idea simply came from me imitating the music. And Mel said, ‘That’s so insane—if we do that, you’ve got to play the bellhop.’ That is how that scene came about. Not long ago, I was going through security on my way to Los Angeles, and I was just about to step through before realizing that I had my key in my pocket. I got my key and put it on the conveyer belt, but the agent said that I could come through with it. I said, ‘But my key is metal and it’ll beep,’ and he said, ‘No, just come through.’ So I stepped through, it beeps, and he immediately said, ‘Get into the machine.’ He told me where to put my feet for the full-body scan, and then he leans in and says, ‘I loved you in ‘High Anxiety.’ Hands up over your head!’”

Levinson’s latest film, “Paterno,” which premiered on HBO in April, also screened at KVIFF, and stars Al Pacino as the celebrated college football coach whose life and reputation are forever tarnished by the repercussions of denial. The sex scandals that have shaken the foundations of Hollywood and Michigan State University are reflected in the self-serving steps that enabled Jerry Sandusky to abuse students at Penn State. 

“Paterno became the winningest coach in the history of college football on a Saturday afternoon,” said Levinson. “Eight days later, the scandal broke. Immediately, he’s under pressure and finds himself fired. Then he learns that he has cancer and will die within months. That happens within a two-week period, and it seemed like an interesting place to start the film. I thought the film should open with him getting into an MRI machine, so basically the whole movie is a remembrance of what occurred beforehand. An MRI machine scans your body layer by layer by layer, and in the film, it is sort of scanning his life layer by layer by layer. While he is in that MRI machine, all of these things that have happened in that time frame are flashing through his head. That became our visual approach.”

Set to premiere on HBO this week is “Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind,” a documentary about the comedy icon who received his first Oscar-nomination for Levinson’s 1987 classic, “Good Morning, Vietnam.” Levinson’s press conference reached its emotional peak at the very end, as the filmmaker paid tribute to Williams. 

“He was an extraordinary character who was always filled with a certain degree of insecurities,” said Levinson. “At the time we were going to do ‘Good Morning, Vietnam,’ he had done three or four films, and none of them had been successful, so he felt the pressure that this may be his last chance. My feeling was that he was astoundingly funny and interested in everything. That aspect played out and was very influential in ‘Good Morning.’ We were shooting with the Vietnamese in a classroom, and Robin was the teacher. We did the scene and I didn’t think it worked particularly well. It didn’t feel real. The Vietnamese couldn’t do the lines that were written and it didn’t fit together right in my ear. So during the break, I’m wondering what in the world I have to do because I can’t make the Vietnamese real people. There had never been a movie at that time and I’m not sure there’s been one since that just dealt with the Vietnamese people. We only saw them during wartime, running around in the jungle. But these are people who do normal things—they eat, they go to school, they go out in the evening, they go to the movies and they have a life as people. The scene I had written did not feel real to me."

"I was wandering around outside of the building, and I see Robin talking to the Vietnamese. They were all laughing together. The Vietnamese would say something, and then Robin would try to say something back, and he’d get a laugh. The genius of Robin was that he could communicate with people, even when they didn’t quite understand what he was saying. I watched him with the Vietnamese, and I thought, ‘This is real. Why don’t we put that in the movie?’ When we were going back to film, I said to Robin, ‘Let’s forget about all the dialogue because it’s never going to work that way. Let’s just take the plot points—what’s important in this scene—and then just start talking to them like you were talking to them over there. Let’s just start to communicate with them, and you can guide them toward some of the lines that are necessary. I’m not even going to slate it. I’ll give hand cues to the cameras, the cameras will roll and we’ll just do it that way. They will never know that we are even filming.’"

"So for all of the scenes with the Vietnamese, not only in the classroom, but wherever we went, that is the way we did it. The Vietnamese never knew what was being filmed at any given time, and when we did the softball game at the end, I didn’t even tell the Vietnamese how to play the game. When you watch the movie, you’ll notice that there are two MPs who I told, ‘If you see that they are doing something wrong, like running to the wrong base, just go over and tell them that they gotta go here, like a traffic cop. Just tell them where to go. The confusion of not knowing how to play the game will be part of it, and it will be more fun than just playing the game.’ All of those scenes really gave us a chance to understand the people, and I think that was the key to the movie. It is also what defines Robin Williams. He wanted to understand people, and knew how to connect with them.”

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