#Hazelnut Farming

[weexploreanddiscover]

Yuliia & I are working on a project through @builderspace here is the progress. You can learn more about it here we are doing weekly updates and excited to be learning / building / shipping in public

[puc-puggy]

so like. yes we eat too much meat. hypercapitalism and industrial ag are a cancer on the planet. but some places have winters (when plants don't grow), and the people living in those places don't have a right to use land and exploit labor in the global south/tropics to grow their vegetables either. we have to provide all our own food, which during the winter means a lot of preserved foods, root veggies, and animal husbandry. because plants don't grow in winter.

we live in different ecosystems, which means we need different diets made up of things our ecosystem can support. in places with short or no winter, that involves way more plant life. in places with winter, it involves more animal life.

there is no one single diet that everyone on the planet can participate in and maintain both ecological balance and human rights. there are ecosystems and respectful cultivation of life cycles within those ecosystems. trying to force everyone on the planet to mimic a multi-growing season diet will fuck us up just as bad as what we're currently doing: forcing everyone to mimic (the dumbest possible) winter-based diet.

I love when people from first world countries decide to share on tumblr for the bilionth time that they're using animals products since they're "sooo enviromentally friendly and use the WHOLE animal uwu"

Meanwhile, 80% of the deforested area of the amazon rainforest is used for cattle ranching. But sure, feel free to tell me how eco-friendly your leather is as the tanning poisons our rivers or how important meat is for european culture while latin america burns for your double cheeseburger.

Don't worry, I totally understand it's too much to ask for you to stop eating meat in the name of the planet, animals, and us third-worlders who will be affected the most by global warming.

[bluepoodle7]

#PepperidgeFarm #PepperidgeFarmLimitedEditionHazelnutHotCocoaCookies #Cookies

I tried these Pepperidge Farm Limited Edition Hazelnut Hot Cocoa Cookies and these were pretty good. These cookies didn't taste overly sweet and kind of taste like a mellowed out Nutella hazelnut chocolate flavor.

Got at Target.

[beenbaanbuun]

country boy w/ mingi

thinking thoughts about country boy mingi who talks to you in a southern drawl as he leans his upper body on the bonnet of his truck. he’s so shameless with the way he looks you up and down, and you really don’t mind at all. in fact, you almost wish you could swap places with that stupid toothpick he keeps dangling from his pretty lips.

“don’t you think you ought to be getting home, doll?” he croons at you as you push yourself up to sit on the hood. the way your thighs spread against the red metal makes him salivate, but he’s a strong man. he can control himself, “i don’t think your daddy is my biggest fan; he wouldn’t appreciate you hanging around someone like me after sunset.”

as much as you hate to admit it, mingi is right; something about the farm boy from the neighbouring ranch just didn’t sit right with your daddy. maybe it’s his cocky way of speaking, or the rumours that get passed around town by all the pretty buckle bunnies who had their turn with him. the cowboy had built quite a reputation for himself, over the years. he likes to fuck and chuck; he’d rarely beds the same girl twice, and never more than three times. those brief encounters seem to be enough for most of the women you come across in the local bars—they do nothing but rave about how nonchalant and uncaring the cowboy is in bed. apparently, the way he fucks them hard and rough makes him all the more attractive.

yet he was never anything but soft with you. soft smiles, soft words, soft touches. just soft. if only your daddy could see the way he grins at you as he pulls the hat from his head and settles it atop yours, or the way his lithe fingers tighten the string around your chin to secure the hat in place. the deep chuckle that leaves him as the brim falls over your eyes goes straight to your chest, your heart beating unhealthily quick.

“my daddy doesn’t control me,” you push the brim up so you can see his pretty face. his skin is gorgeously tan from all those hours he spends in the field with his boss’s horses. you often watch him from your window, sketchbook in hand as you messily draw him over and over. he doesn’t look quite as good in graphite as he does through the glass of your bedroom window. seeing him like this, so close that you could touch him, is even better, “and i’m not ready to go home yet. besides, didn’t you promise me a ride on mr campbell’s prize pony?

he smiles and it shines brighter than the sun that’s taking its time in sinking below the horizon. his laugh puts the sound of morning birds to shame. his skin is smoother than your daddy’s whiskey, and his eyes sharper than his switchblade. nothing compares to him, you figure as you gaze into his deep hazelnut eyes; you could watch him and never hunger for anything else. you’d be sustained for life.

“sure i did, doll,” he takes the toothpick out and flicks it to the ground. you watch as it lands in the dirt by his dusty leather boots before letting your eyes drag themselves back up his body to reach his eyes. every part of him is just as pretty as the next and you find that the more you stare, the more you want to have him, “but it’s getting to be dark soon, and like i said, your daddy doesn’t approve of me. i’m not quite good enough for his little princess, am i?”

“i think you’re good enough for me,” you blurt out, heat immediately rising to your face as you take in what you’ve just said. humiliating yourself in front of the man you’ve been dreaming about for years is never good, especially not when you see the man almost every day. you look to the floor, cursing yourself as you hear mingi hum in amusement. it’s not for long, though. he catches your chin on one long finger, drawing your eyes back up to his.

“i’m sure you do, doll,” his voice is teasing, as is his lopsided grin. it sends a shiver down your spine as he taunts you, “precious little thing, thinking i don’t see the way you stare at me from your window. i see the hearts in your eyes, y’know. the way they turn green whenever you see me with one of those towny girls. it's cute; you’re cute.”

a huge hand comes to rest on your exposed thigh. you freeze in place, eyes on his, heart in your mouth. then his other hand meets with your other thigh and without any resistance from you, he parts them just enough to shuffle his body between them. you swallow down the knot in your throat as he invades your personal space.

“part of me wants to agree with your daddy; you’re too good for me, doll. you deserve someone better,” his face is too close to yours. you’re holding your breath as if you might blow him away if you were to exhale. his own fans across your face, the scent of mint and menthol filling your senses. suddenly, it’s your favourite smell in the world, “but then again, i tend to be possessive over things i consider to be mine… and i don’t think i could bear it if i were to see my doll hanging off another man’s arm, hm?”

he whispers that last bit, the slow drawl of his accent echoing through your brain, turning your thoughts to mush. you’re sure he can see the effect he’s having on you; the shallow rise and fall of your chest, your swollen lip from where your teeth continuously tug against it, your glazed-over, thoughtless eyes. you’re also sure that it’s only serving to encourage him.

still, even if mingi currently has your legs in a gelatinous state and your heart ticking like a time bomb, your daddy didn’t raise a pushover. a princess, yes, but never a pushover. one of your (extremely shaky) hands finds its way to his chest, pushing at the linen-clad muscles ever-so-gently until he stumbles just a few inches back. despite your eyes not being able to find his face, you know you can do this.

“well, what about you?” your voice is feeble. you clear your throat in the hopes of making it stronger, “you think i like watching you flirt with other women? to hear all those nasty stories about what goes down in the bed of your truck?” the more you talk, the more your courage builds. you look him in the eye, only to see he’s still smirking. that beautiful, infuriating smirk, “you’re not the only possessive one, mingi. if i’m yours, you’re mine—”

the next few seconds happen in a flash, but you can pick out three key events. first, he bullies his way between your thighs again, pushing them wide and pulling you close until his pelvis is flush against yours. then, with a determined hand, he rips the hat away from your head, slamming it down onto the hood of his truck and making you jump. there’s almost no time between that and the final event, though, as before you can say a single thing more, a pair of determined lips find your own.

they’re hot as they trap you in a kiss, moving quickly and sloppily against your own. he’s quick to take charge, fingers pressing deep into the flesh of your thighs as he moves his lips against yours. it’s like he’s been waiting for this for years, and now that he’s finally got it, he’s not willing to let it go. desperate, and hard and fast, it makes your head spin in the most delicious way. so much so, in fact, that you can’t help but wrap your arms around his neck to act as some sort of stability as you melt into his touch.

he pulls away for mere seconds, just enough for you to catch your breath, before diving in for more. this time, he leads with his tongue, bullying his way into your mouth as soon as his lips are on yours again. there’s no fight for dominance, the both of you already knowing that he’s the one in charge of this whole ordeal. you just let yourself sink into it, enjoying every second of him devouring your mouth.

all you can hear is moans mixed with the sound of lips smacking against lips. you can’t tell where your moans finish and his start, but perhaps it just goes to show how in sync the two of you really are.

he finally pulls away again, for good this time, and a heavy sigh falls from his lips, “i’ve always been yours, doll,” his wet lips meet your neck, and you tip your head back as a moan tumbles from your parted lips, “from the moment i met you, i was yours.”

“what about—”

“gossip spreads in a small town like this,” he cuts you off, “not everything you hear is true. you have a one-night stand to get over a girl once and suddenly you’ve slept your way through the whole town. honestly, i’m kind of glad the story focuses on how good i am in bed and not on the way i cried about you after i came…”

you can’t stifle the giggle that bubbles from your throat as he nuzzles against your neck.

“you cried about me?” you laugh.

“multiple times, doll,” he confirms, “what can i say, i’m a softie at heart.”

[thegloomybat]

Zero

I have sooo many low calorie food brands, but time for a ZERO calorie edition

Idk how i NEVER see posts about walden farms, they literally have almost EVERYTHINGG FOR ZERO CALS!!! BUT, be wary bc some of their stuff aren’t that tasty. I’ve tried the honey dijon dressing, which i’ve never even tried the normal ones and it was actually super good! I didn’t like the ranch dressing. I also tried the chipotle ranch one it was also good! Again BUT, one of the ingredients i found in those is titanium dioxide, which can cause cancer. Obviously i feel like that’s in insaneee amounts, so moderation is key🤷‍♀️ i’ve also tried their coffee creamers, chocolate, pumpkin spice, hazelnut, peppermint mocha, vanilla, and lemme just say at first i was kinda like yikes… but then i got used to it and its actually super good! I would recommend to only use a little cuz i accidentally put a lot one time and it was just WAY too much. Again, moderation. I haven’t tried any other products that i can remember so lmk if you guys try any of them!! Btw these only show the categories there are so many varieties.

Syrup, i haven’t used this and it’s just a tad pricey, but looks good and i would like to try for my coffee! If i get this i’ll do a lil review.

I LOVEEEE chai lattes but they are SO calorie dense. This one is 0!!! And it’s honestly pretty sweet for me, for it being sugar free. Like its the perfect amount. Idk, sugar free items taste exactly the same or even better than the original personally, and feels better bc if i eat any sugar i feel so gross. Maybe i’ve just gotten used to it or something but yeah

Last but not least the classic ol’ diet coke. So yummy keeps you full for a while/curbs appetite and tastes the same if not better than the original. Again, i normally prefer sugar free stuff bc it tastes better in my opinion, it doesn’t taste any different or worse. And normal coca cola has like 30g of sugar that is CRAZY. Also way too many cals.

Again, i found all of these items on the walmart WEBSITE, including a lot of the walden farms products. But some may charge shipping so maybe try finding it on amazon but keep scrolling to find the cheapest options. I <3 zero cal foods

[hungryfigg]

berries, cheese and edibles are chefs kiss...

Went grocery shopping earlier so i rewarded myself with a charcuterie board of my fave snacks! including raw mushrooms, cranberry goat cheese, chocolate almonds, and edibles my friend brought over the other day :D

[holdingontochaos]

~The Cottage~

a/b/o || 70k || Complete

Written for the @1domegaverseficfest 2024

Louis hates alphas and he has good reason to, but when his beloved omega grandmother dies, and he inherits her cottage, he meets Harry, an alpha hazelnut farmer who sneaks his way into Louis’ life. While Louis struggles with his severe touch deprivation, he forms a friendship with Harry that turns out to be exactly what he needed. -- Or Louis has severe touch deprivation and Harry has a hazelnut farm.

Omega Louis || Alpha Harry || Touch Deprivation || Strangers to Lovers || Hurt/Comfort

[darkinfinity]

Happy 28th! This list shouldn't be as long as it is since I had all my exams this month, but here we are! Here are all the fics I read and enjoyed this month, sorted by word count!

🍸Of sunshines and sweethearts by tippitytap (series, 184k)

When Louis meets Harry for the first time, the interaction is over before Louis can even get a sentence out.

When Harry runs into Louis for a second time, he gets asked out on a date instead of getting yelled at for being so careless.

Who could have guessed that two simple uni-students going on dates in the dark and making out against pillars in tube stations were both carrying the burdens of their family on their shoulders? And: Could the weight of those possibly get lighter if they help carry each other’s?

🍸Playin’ it safe and breakin’ the rules by @local-troubled-writer (M, 90k)

or the One Where Maybe this Fake Relationship Gets a Little Too Real.

🍸War of hearts by @boosbabycakes28 (E, 80k)

They are the bane of each other's existence, they never pass off an opportunity to remind the other of how annoying they are. Who would have thought that polar opposites could compliment each other so well?

A story about two boys, one looking for patience and trying to be strong enough to stand up for himself, and one struggling with self-discovery and strength, where facts, reality and becomings hit him in the face, and suddenly, everything that's ever been important to him is in play.

🍸The nation's sweethart by Snowy38 (E, 77k)

In limped a graceful giant; slim bodied but broad shouldered with thick thighs. Harry's hair was a little wild where it had grown out of it's usually boyish short style.

For some reason Louis' fingers flexed, as if wanting to course through the flicks in the bottom of his rich brown hair.

It had been curly once. Louis had seen pictures of him innocent with wide green eyes and a wider, bright white, toothy grin. Everything about him screamed privilege.

Louis wondered if he knew he'd only taken this job to stop him losing his flat.

🍸What I have with you (I don't want with anyone else) by @lululawrence (NR, 73k)

Or Louis is an asexual alpha, Harry is his aromantic alpha friend and possible roommate, and faking a relationship might be exactly what they need to get their families and friends off their backs.

🍸The cottage by @holdingontochaos(E, 70k)

Louis hates alphas and he has good reason to, but when his beloved omega grandmother dies, and he inherits her cottage, he meets Harry, an alpha hazelnut farmer who sneaks his way into Louis’ life.

While Louis struggles with his severe touch deprivation, he forms a friendship with Harry that turns out to be exactly what he needed.

Or Louis has severe touch deprivation and Harry has a hazelnut farm.

🍸Hooked with just one taste by @dinosaursmate (E, 48k)

Louis' flatmate introduces him to camming and suddenly, a whole new world is opened up to him: tips, gifts, and lots of admirers. He takes to it like a duck to water and strikes up a strange sort of friendship with a rather secretive lad calling himself BabyHoney, who seems to have more money than sense.

🍸A frail farewell by @all-these-larrythings (M, 44k)

Louis can’t believe his luck when he is offered one of the easiest jobs he has had as a long-term house-sitter for the wealthy. He loves the money, and the peace and quiet of the empty mansions he looks after. Most of all he likes that there are no surprises until he gets the shock of his life from ex-pop star Harry Styles who isn’t supposed to be home.

🍸My hands at risk, I fold by @yourgorgeouscolors28 (E, 43k)

"Sometimes, when Louis first wakes up, he thinks he’s back in the hospital, and panic hits him."

Or, Harry is a famous popstar, Louis is a famous football player and one injury changes everything.

🍸now i think that i could love you back by maroonmoonlouis (E, 42k)

Or, the one where Omega Prince Louis is thrown a Courting Ceremony. A weekend full of competition ensues for his hand in marriage. As if he’s not already stressed about choosing his future Mate in three days, it’s just his luck that his enemy, Alpha Prince Harry has decided to partake as well.

🍸And when it rains, you're shining down on me by martisgotaproblem (NR, 37k)

“This is Harry, he’ll be your patient,” Liam gestured politely.

Harry froze when Louis’ eyes met his own once more. He felt himself getting lost in those eyes, so much so that he didn’t notice Niall and Liam leaving the room quietly but the sound of the door shutting behind them brought him out of the trance.

“Hello, I’m Louis,” the omega said, extending his hand for Harry to shake. The alpha could still sense some nervousness in his stance but decided to ignore it.

“’m Harry.”

Or the one where Harry is a grumpy boxer who gets injured and Louis is the lovely physiotherapist hired to help him, but getting pregnant wasn’t exactly in his recovery plan.

🍸A hungry heart by @jacaranda-bloom (E, 27k)

Harry Styles, florist and Great British Bake Off contestant, loves many things. He loves his flower shop, he loves baking, and there’s also that little crush he has on pop star Louis Tomlinson.

But when Louis arrives on set as the surprise guest judge, Harry’s worlds collide. Throw in a cup of cuteness, a teaspoon of teasing, and a pinch of pining, and there’s all the ingredients for an epic love story, or absolute chaos.

Or the one where the Bake Off tent has never been so hot, and it’s got nothing to do with what’s in the ovens.

🍸Iron hearts, fire souls by @getmesometacos (E, 26k)

Or the one where Harry and Louis are two single and unmated Lawyer Alphas that have to share an office and even though they shouldn't be that attracted to each other's scents, it sure isn't a big deal, right? I mean, what could go wrong?

🍸Take me down slow (don't let me go) by @jacaranda-bloom (E, 26k)

Louis has always felt different. Not necessarily on the outer realm of societal norms, but pretty damn close to the edge. As an Omega, he’s supposed to want certain things; to want to raise a family, to want to build a life with a partner, and to want that partner to be an Alpha.

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

OR the one where Louis wants to find the right kind of partner to love, Niall hates snowboarding, Liam wants to settle down, Harry is really good with his hands, and mother nature could be the thing that changes everything.

🍸Sugar, sugar by @parmahamlarrie (E, 25k)

Meeting your soulmate was the most joyous event of one’s life… or at least, it’s supposed to be. Harry, in all of his 25 year old wisdom, was suspicious of the role fate plays in everyone's lives. He'd rather focus his time dating older men he meets off of a sugar baby website.

Louis isn’t waiting with bated breath for his soulmate either. He has more important things to worry about than love. Mainly, his career as a writer, publishing under a pseudonym. He spends most of the year buried under research and manuscripts, taking as much time as he would like, much to his publishers' chagrin. After receiving many millions after the death of his Aunt Ethel when he was young, he technically never has to work again. As far as soulmates go, he figures if it happens, he will be so old that he’ll be stuck in his ways. Or he’ll have grey eyes forever, he doesn’t fucking care. He can get his needs met through a sugar baby website.

Or… The Sugar baby soulmate AU

🍸Tossing round like coins by @letthemusicmoveyou28 (E, 25k)

“No, no it’s fine.” Louis rubs the back of his neck a little awkwardly. “I guess I’m just not used to hearing another alpha talking about taking a knot is all. You caught me off guard a bit, but I don’t mind.”

Harrys look of embarrassment soon morphs into a smirk. “Not a lot of knot talk in the locker rooms then?”

Louis laughs. “Oh yeah there is. But it’s more like arguments over whose is bigger and that.” He schools his face into what he hopes is an over exaggerated, self-righteous expression. “But not me of course, because I’m proper evolved.”

Harry snorts out a laugh. “Of course you are.”

(Or the one where Louis is an alpha who does manly alpha things like play professional football and lift weights at the gym, where he meets alpha Harry who wears nail polish and dates other alphas. Louis isn’t put off by Harry’s strange tendencies, more like intrigued. And maybe just maybe, he’s interested).

🍸Bend like a hairpin by @letthemusicmoveyou28 (M, 25k)

Or the one where FBI agent Harry Styles screws up in a mission and he has one more chance to save his career. He’s going undercover as a stripper to investigate a strip club suspected of money laundering. There’s just 2 problems: 1) Harry can’t dance, and 2) he might be falling for the club’s owner Louis, who just happens to be the prime suspect.

🍸Because sparrows mate for life by @builtyouahousefromabrokenhome (E, 24k)

Harry’s tattoo gets done all wrong, and he needs someone to fix it.

🍸On a starlit night by @lunarheslwt (M, 24k)

Or, omega and future Luna Louis is holding a mating ceremony to find his mate, but what he doesn’t expect to see amongst the alphas vying for his hand, is a familiar, yet unexpected face: Harry Styles.

🍸The laundry room incident by corrinebailey (E, 23k)

Or the one where Louis doesn't make the best first impression with his new neighbor, and then continues to keep screwing everything up while simultaneously falling for him

i.e: Louis’ fucked

🍸Suddenly they're right by sapphichug (E, 22k)

Louis is a painting professor with an art block the size of Texas and a global superstar for a non-boyfriend, who he wants to keep.

a fic about feeling stuck and learning to free oneself

🍸Everywhere, everything by corrinebailey (E, 21k)

Or the one where Louis has been a farmer for the past decade, his sisters are rightfully worried about his sanity, and Harry swoops in to bring Louis back to life

🍸Frightened by the bite, no harsher than the bark by @voulezloux (T, 21k)

louis loves going to the barricade during his shows. if it’s because he’s got a bit (lot) of touch deprivation and is using it as an excuse to have his big alpha bodyguard, harry, touch him, well, that’s a secret he doesn’t need to tell.

🍸The prophecy by HoPotato (E, 18k)

CEO of Empyrean, Louis Tomlinson should have all that he can wish for. After inheriting his mother's company, everyone might think the most eligible alpha cannot wish for anything else but in reality he lives in a glass cage, crushing under the weight of dreams that aren't his and the ghoul of the life he never had. What changes everything for him is a simple resignation letter from his personal assistant on his desk on one fine morning.

🍸You are the fever (What a lovely way to burn!) by @yoursolosong (E, 18k)

Harry is an alpha who realizes he’s also into alphas and wants to be submissive. He battles between his instincts and what he wants.

🍸Lost but won by @2tiedships2 (NR, 16k)

When Harry loses his passport after a weekend trip to see Niall, the inconvenience of being stranded in America becomes a little more bearable after meeting Louis. Or a lot more bearable.

🍸Hold you with my hands tied by @letthemusicmoveyou28 (series, 16k)

Or the one where Omega Harry loses his bakery job and is forced to take a temporary position bartending at a local BDSM club. It turns out to be not so bad. Especially when he catches the eye of the owner Louis, who also happens to be a gorgeous Alpha.

🍸Just one look (and i fell so hard) by @disgruntledkittenface (M, 15k)

Harry has wanted to go to the Shubert Theatre ever since he moved to New York and lucked into a rent-controlled apartment just outside of the Theatre District. When he finally gets his chance, he hopes the night can meet his sky-high expectations. But the last thing he could have expected was the man seated next to him.

🍸We chase the stars to lose our shadow by 5secsoflarry (E, 15k)

Insomniac and someone professionally cuddling with them to fall asleep....They fall in love.

🍸Blue eyes and cigarette smoke by corrinebailey (E, 14k)

There he was, all dark clothes and vans- the embodiment of cigarette smoke and deep cologne, and Harry wanted nothing more than to bury his hands into that hoodie. He wanted to breathe him in and feel that stubble against his hands. He wanted to feel those pink lips pressed to his damp skin- he craved it so much he was light headed, could feel the haziness fog his head as he tried to meet his eyes. Tried to will deep blue eyes to meet his own.

Or the one where Harry wants his perfect meet cute, wants to meet his soulmate in the way fate intended, which is why the brunette with stormy eyes and a cigarette dangling between his fingers could not possibly be the one.

🍸High heels on, 'm feeling the love by @thebreadvansstuff (M, 14k)

Harry hears the click of the camera snapping his picture and decides to throw his head back for the next one. He cocks his hip a bit to create the illusion of curves and proudly shows the too-small high heels. He decides to go with the classic pose, hand above his hip bone and leg bent back.

The moment he lifts his leg behind himself, the heel comes in contact with hard metal and makes a screeching sound as it drags upwards. Harry jumps around to see a long scratch going up the passenger door of the car behind him, and slaps his open mouth with a hand. "Oh no."

Or, Harry damages a car when drunkenly stumbling home after a fun night out with his friends. Feeling horribly guilty, he tries to find the owner and make it up to him.

🍸You just be yourself by @lululawrence (NR, 13k)

“Thanks, Mom.”

Louis’ breath was knocked right out of him at those words, and Grey froze. They then immediately pulled out of Louis’ arms and scurried out of sight before either Harry or Louis could respond.

“Shit,” Harry cursed quietly, looking between Louis and where Grey had disappeared.

“I…” Louis blinked and looked down at the boxes still scattered on the floor. By the time he had gathered them back up, Harry was also gone.

Or five times Harry's daughter claims Louis as her mother, and one time Louis claims them both as his too.

🍸The capillaries in my eyes are bursting by 5secsoflarry (E, 13k)

Medieval times where King Louis is in a near death accident and enters a coma. The royal doctor says they have two weeks to find Louis’ true soulmate (omega) or he dies.

🍸I'll call you mine by @kenniewen (T, 13k)

"Harry isn’t superstitious, doesn’t knock on wood, or wish on shooting stars, but his position on ‘love at first sight’ becomes increasingly wishy-washy as his mind begins to comprehend blue, blue, blue. He feels his heart constrict and tongue go dry. The man before him is the most beautiful omega he has ever seen in his entire life."

Or: A self indulgent Omega/Omega fic with a teacher/single parent of favorite student trope.

🍸The checkout by @silverstuff50 (E, 12k)

Omega Harry is a bit obsessed with one of the workers at the small supermarket around the corner from his flat. The problem is, it's the place where Harry goes for last minute items and emergencies, so the Alpha (Louis) always sees him buy embarrassing things.

🍸Safe place to hide us away by @lunarheslwt (T, 12k)

Or, weighed down by everyday stress, alpha Harry takes up nesting in secret. It takes a load of missing clothes and unravelling lies for him to realise that his omega would love and accept him no matter what.

🍸I'm sticking around by @tommokat (T, 10k)

The pompous alpha beside him huffs, breaking Louis' concentration on what feels like his future running towards him and suddenly the reality of the situation falls on him: Louis is romantically interested in Harry. Harry’s son is on Louis' soccer team. And while Harry’s son is on Louis’ soccer team, his romantic interest cannot be acted upon.

🍸Louis and the very terrible, no good sleep by @nooradeservedbetter (E, 10k)

Louis had always been used to sleeping in a puppy pile back home. It was something that just happened, with all of his siblings being omegas, they just ended up in a giant nest all together, and Louis loved to cuddle in the warmth, and breathe in the familiar scent of home. He hadn’t thought much about it when, after graduating from the local uni, he got a job offer in Brighton and had to leave the family den.

Or, Louis is insomniac. Follow him in his quest to fall asleep.

🍸Nerd or (k)not? by @super--noah (E, 10k)

Harry had instantly fallen for Louis the first time the met. He was exactly Harry's type, nerdy looking with big glasses slipping down his nose. In truth Louis is a massive nerd and he's not ashamed to admit it, but that doesn't mean he can't stand up for himself or that he spends all his time with his nose in books. He only spends about half his time like that, the other half is spent playing football, not that anyone knows.

Harry's friend Sammy tries to get with Louis at a party, but he turns her down, leading her to spread rumours about his abilities in bed and the size of his dick. Harry's friend group bully him relentlessly about this rumour. When Harry is bet that he can't stop sleeping around for a week otherwise he has to sleep with Louis it's all to much for Harry. He confesses to Louis, leading them to a deeper understanding of who they are to each other.

It turns out Harry's friends are terrible people and that having sex with Louis is far from a punishment.

🍸I’ve been watching you all night by tommosgotabangerr (M, 9k)

Based on the @/larryffprompts Prompt #2999: Harry’s family is in a restaurant and there is this waiter serving the family and Harry tells Gemma that he thinks he is cute. When the family’s drinks are served, his mother says “My son thinks you are cute”. Harry screams “Noooo mum”, blushes horribly, and sinks under the table. The waiter laughs and thanks him for the compliment. Before the family leaves the restaurant, the waiter comes up to Harry and introduces himself. Louis then gives him his number.

🍸It's all my love (you got all my love) by tippitytap (T, 8k)

Sometimes, he realised how he truly didn’t deserve an alpha this good and patient and understanding and loving. He had no clue how Louis had bagged him, how Harry had wanted to mate with him, let alone raise pups together. Still, here they were, with Harry being the perfect lover and Louis crying in the streets about a little pumpkin. The fact Eli had baked little cakes in the shape of pumpkins that morning didn’t make anything better for Louis’ emotional state, but at the very least he got to sit down with Harry for a minute and devour one together, mumbling his apologies into the alpha’s neck.

A pumpkin-filled (literally), fluffy one-shot.

🍸Little love by @sunflouervol-6 (NR, 8k)

L & H are FBI/CIA/MI6/whatever agents and best friends. L goes on a mission without H (they’re partners, so they usually go together) and he doesn’t return. 2 yrs later he returns to the agency after escaping from wherever he was (maybe he was kidnapped, experimented on, etc., can be up to the author!). H tries to get L to talk about why he was gone/what he went through, but L isn’t ready. They continue to go on missions, but L is falling apart.

🍸Take my hand, Dumbass by @londonfoginacup (G, 5k)

There's only alpha dorms at university, and Louis Tomlinson, omega, refuses to pay the exorbitant fees to live off campus. So, four years pretending to be an alpha it is! That'll be easy.

And maybe it would be easy, if not for the depri and the annoying alpha roommate and the fact that Louis is, honestly, a bit too stubborn for his own good.

🍸Body stay vicious by @letthemusicmoveyou28 (E, 5k)

Or the one where Harry is feeling himself in the gym and gets a little carried away. Of course his gym crush just happens to walk in. They work it out.

🍸If you let me by hssatellite28 (E, 5k)

Louis' gone on a work trip and Harry is...desperate.

A phone sex one shot

🍸I want your midnights (you and me forevermore) by loha28 (G, 3k)

Just as he spots Gemma and Michal, holding hands and chatting with their faces close, Harry feels a little tug on his sleeve. When he looks down, he has to do his absolute best not to tear up at the little girl with tears streaking down her face.

Without a second thought, Harry squats down in front of her and reaches out for her hand. “Hey, hey sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Harry asks, a lick of panic running through his voice. All the girl does is sniffle. “Where are your parents?” Harry adds, looking over her head for anyone searching for someone.

When he looks back at her, he finds her lower lip wobbling before she breaks out in a big cry. “I can’t find them!” She wails, collapsing on Harry's chest and wrapping her arms around his neck.

🍸(on the edge until) you pull me in by @justanothershadeofblue (E, 3k)

Louis brings his hands up to rub at his eyes. The light from the streetlight is painting his room in pale halogen yellow and grey. A car zips by in the night, the sound of tires across damp asphalt a comforting constant.

He sets aside the details, and imagines it again. A faceless man. A rich one. Gay, also, obviously, or at least queer. Maybe he’d have a nice voice, Louis always did like a nice voice. Deep, maybe slow and deliberate to contrast with Louis’ own tendency toward high-pitched chattering.

He’d have to smell good, Louis’s always been picky about how his dates smelled. Not that he’s had all that many in the first place, but it’s something he’s always cared about. A full head of hair, too, that’s important. Maybe some curls.

Louis lets a hand run down his chest. His dick is not about to fall off, thank you very much, Niall, but it has been a while since he’s had time for a wank. He doesn’t really have time now – he’s got to get up in three and half hours and get breakfast, but oh well. It’ll feel good enough to be worth the extra lost sleep.

🍸Figure this out by @haztobegood (E, 2k)

Louis is everything Harry could have imagined when he’d typed “silver fox enthusiast” into his Grindr profile. Too bad he's probably scared Louis off by giving him too many expensive gifts.

🍸On love's doorstep by @hellolovers13 (T, 1k)

Harry Styles: a day in the life

☑ Stuck in a dress ☑ Abandoned by his best friend ☑ Date with hot neighbour

All in all, not the worst day ever

🍸miles away from seeing you by @loveislarryislove (T, 1k)

Harry is in his final year studying marine biology, and is doing an international exchange at the University of Auckland. His boyfriend Louis stays behind in England, but they keep in touch regularly through texts, snapchats, video calls, and more.

This fic is entirely told through images of social media posts and conversations. Image descriptions are available in the second chapter.

🍸Rainy days, new adventures by @greenblueish (G, 1k)

After a bad day, Louis decides to take a walk in the park where he meets a special man with a special little companion.

[astrolovecosmos]

The Planets & Random or Obscure Associations

~Sun~

Creativity, vitality, head of state, the father, games, yellow and orange clothing, articles of value, jewelry, gold, brass, power, diamonds, citrine, topaz, jasper, amber, rhodochrosite, mistletoe, almonds, citrus, succulents, sunflowers, fevers, heart, back, spine, grapes, walnuts, rice, chamomile, frankincense, juniper, saffron, marigold, rosemary, rue, palaces, towers, luxury.

~Moon~

Eternal, cycles, silver, aluminum, pearls, moonstone, opal, selenite, chest, glands, lymphatic system, nervous system, emotions, mother, ancestors, nurture, rebirth, tides, baths, ocean, brew, boat, sap, willow trees, succulents, pale color plants, white flowers, cucumber, cabbage, lettuce, melons, shellfish, pumpkins, lakes, fountains, ports, fishponds, pools, springs, sewers, dairies, toys, reflection, blankets, objects of comfort.

~Mercury~

Communication, journal, pen/pencil, any writing tools, wings, phosphorous, mercury, agate, tiger's eye, brain, nervous system, eyes, respiration, thyroid, speech, hearing, intellect, vehicles, money, bills, paper, books, pictures, parties or social gatherings, scientific instruments, butterflies, messages, mail, hazel, mulberry, myrtle, seeds, aniseed, dill, fennel, lavender, liquorice, marjoram, parsley, valerian, hazelnuts, beans, mushrooms, pomegranates, carrots, celery, libraries, schools, markets, fairs, public spaces, tennis or badminton court, studies, banks, bowling greens, offices, blue, white, or light colored flowers.

~Venus~

Love, relating, lust, high-quality fabrics, copper, bronze, sodium, malachite, tourmaline, emerald, rose quartz, kunzite, sapphire, pastels, throat, kidneys, lumber region, art, music, aesthetics, social life, fashion, jewelry, wine, pleasure, alder tree, fruit trees, paint, ash tree, birch, pomegranates, early flowering, daisy, mint, marshmallow, meadowsweet, mugwort, plantain, tansy, roses, thyme, vervain, yarrow, potatoes, strawberries, wheat, sugar, nectarines, ballrooms, bedrooms, dining room, gardens, fountains, wardrobes, theaters, looking and feeling good.

~Mars~

Lust, conquest, desire, flaming sword, red things, fights, iron, brass, bloodstone, carnelian, cinnabar, pyrite, magnetite, ruby, garnet, hematite, muscles, reproductive organs, blood, kidneys, immunity, heat, action, arms, pepper, sharp instruments, cutlery, attacks, scissors, weapons, physical intimacy, bites, stings, scalds, burns, accidents, hawthorn, pine, thorns, cactus, aloes, anemone, arnica, belladonna, garlic, ginger, hops, mustard seed, nettles, wormwood, chives, onions, leeks, radish, rhubarb, tobacco, labs, furnaces, distilleries, bakehouses, ovens, smiths, butchers, fields, anger, passion, self-focus.

~Jupiter~

Expansion, optimism, religion, religious sites, tin, seduction, turquoise, chrysocolla, topaz, citrine, jasper, liver, pancreas, pituitary gland, sciatic nerve, excess, abundance, prophecy, philosophy, knowledge, universities, foreign travel, luggage, honey, oil, silk, fruit, distinct clothing, merchandise, horses, domestic birds, gambling, indulgence, entertainment, oak, dandelion, sage, endive, chervil, asparagus, figs, churches, temples, palaces, altars, courts, mansions, woods, orchards, winery, cornucopia, connecting with the soul.

~Saturn~

Limits, boundaries, father time, lord of death, shadows, lead, iron, steel, calcium, asbestos, sulphur, diamond, onyx, calcite, skeleton, spleen, skin, teeth, nails, joints, structure, crystallization, old age, blockage, anything dark, wool, heavy materials, agriculture, wheelbarrows, spades, farm houses and buildings, cold, laws, aspen, blackthorn, buckthorn, cypress, elm, toxic plants, hemlock, henbane, belladonna, hellebore, barley, beetroot, safflower, parsnips, spinach, deserts, woods, valleys, caves, church yards, ruins, coalpits, sinks, wells, mud, institutions.

~Uranus~

Eccentrics, mavericks, invention, genius, revolution, change, trends, disruptive science or tech, uranium, magnesium, lapis lazuli, sapphire, aquamarine, azurite, chalcedony, electricity, neon lights, plaid, nervous and circulatory system, pineal gland, chaos, violence, upheaval, astrology, steam engines, coal, machinery, coins, baths, fishponds, dangerous places, computers, magnets, quantum physics, research, welfare, humanity, hypnotherapy, railways, banks, gas, psychiatric hospitals, offices, hospitals, dispensaries, fortified places, chemicals, mingled/mingling, spirit and matter.

~Neptune~

Illusions, veils, diffuse, deception, water, oceans, mysticism, enlightenment, artistic pursuit and understanding, zinc, potassium, amethyst, fluorite, jade, sugilite, coral, aquamarine, pineal gland, lymphatic and nervous system, spine, mental processes, addiction, psychoses, disease, photography, music, substances, gas, religion, poetry, mimicry, chameleon, anesthetic, telepathy, empathy, dancing, psychic gifts, places near water, hospitals, places of healing, jeweler, painters, brewers, musicians, visionary.

~Pluto~

Power, influence, darkness, new life, what's hidden underneath, seeds, volcanoes, deep earth or ocean, bury, explosions, eruptions, abduction, plutonium, smoky quartz, obsidian, jet, pearl, deep reds, reproductive organs, the unconscious, nuclear, transformation, death, birth, rebirth, underworld, riches, earthquakes, big business, murder, detection, detective, invisibility, sneak, enforced change, hidden places, underground, drains, sewers, radioactive places, the occult, black magic, sacrifice, renew.

[theoceansluvr]

Tim Drake x Cozy! Reader

warning; none ! author's notes; my favorite boy's birthday which means a work for him ! sorry for writing so many headcanons y'all, i have a lot to blabber about 😞 also idk if the title makes sense but i have was going for a very.. homebody, smells like coffee/hot chocolate, big sweaters coded reader if that makes any sense !

oh how he loves you...

he never gets a chance to relax because Gotham never rests

but with you it's so easy

he could come back from the worst fight in the world and be greeted with hazelnut creamer filled coffee and the sight of string lights everywhere

it might not be a lot, but it's everything to him.

reading dates are a very common thing !

you'll drag him to the local used bookstore any chance you get

it's usually followed up with a trip to the bakery or record shop too

super into crime books

(to nobody's surprise im sure)

he has a whole bookshelf dedicated to forensic books, even though he knows pretty much everything.

he likes to be sure, y'know ?

you guys have plants that are all names and their birthdays are on a calendar on the fridge

the oldest is named Robert ans he's a dragon's breath you two bought when you first moved in together

the name was merely based on you thinking it was funny to give a plant a people name..(me too)

steals your sweaters all the time and claims he doesn't know what happened to them

but you always catch him up in the middle of the night wearing them while he's doing his detective stuff

random but candle shopping is a MAJORRRRR part of y'all's budget planning..

i mean sure, overhead lighting can be nice, but candles just have a better feel !

which is exactly what you say to Tim every time

he groans and mumbles a soft "Whatever you want, rose.." and it's off to Bath and Body works or the local candle shop !

BAKING TOGETHER !!!!

i will give any excuse to talk about Tim and his baked goods, so you two bake together a ton !

not specifically from scratch, but it's usually better when it is.

"All that matters is it was made with love." is the common statement he uses when he burns something..

which is probably a common occurrence if im being completely honest

slow dancing to records might i add

not much to add about this, but something about him being a Wayne tells me he probably had to learn to slow dance for whatever reason

he'll gladly teach you if you don't know how :))

you guys are usually cuddled up drinking coffee/tea/hot chocolate(pick your preference loves !)

the Gotham rain adds to the ambience of it all

having someone as lad back as you are definitely helps with his whole "gotta prove my wort" mentality as well

if you ever got pets i think you'd have rabbits or maybe a ferret

not cats, don't ask me why i just have a weird headcanon about him being allergic.. so sorry to all my cat allergy havers

completely and utterly in love with the fact you're not out a lot because he likes knowing your safe at home !

playing stardew or animal crossing together to cool off ?

absolutely !

you have a shared island and farm bc he refuses to let you marry any of the characters(SAM I LOVE YOU !!!)

I COULD WRITE SOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH ABOUT HIM WITH A CALM, COZY PARTNER !!! but i want to get this done before the 20th so :((( but happy birthday again to my boyfriend in another universe 😞

[thesilicontribesman]

Crammond Mesolithic Site, Crammond, Edinburgh, Scotland

Excavations carried out on this spot in 1995 discovered the remains of what at the time was Scotland's earliest known settlement. The archaeologists discovered stake holes and pits, together with thousands of hazelnut shells and tools made of flint and chert.

The stone tools included arrowheads, scrapers, burins (for punching holes) and small blades for hunting and gathering activities. The stake holes marked the site of tent-like shelters where the people sat making and using these tools and also where they prepared and cooked their food. The pits were filled with the burnt shells of hazelnuts which were an important food source. These shells have been carbon dated to around 10,500 years ago (between 8,630BCE and 8,250BCE). The people who camped here so long ago were amongst the first to discover Scotland after the last Ice Age had ended, less than 1,000 years earlier. It marks the start of the Mesolithic period in Scotland. This lasted until the arrival of farming in the Neolithic period at around 4,000BCE.

Sea levels rose when the last Ice Age ended. This flooded the land (Doggerland) which had joined the south of Britain to the continent. People had to move because of this, some moving north along the coast. These explorers were skilled at gathering all the things they needed to survive from the countryside around them.

We need to imagine how Cramond looked 10,000 years ago. This was a great place to choose for a campsite. The sea and the River Almond offered plenty of food, such as fish and shellfish. The local forest provided other foodstuffs and resources, such as wild animals and birds, nuts, berries and plants, as well as animal skins for clothing and wood for fuel and building.

[zepskies]

Assistant Hottie

Pairing: Jason Teague x F. Reader (implied Jason T. x Lana Lang)

Summary: Jason Teague, Assistant Football Coach, meets you in the faculty break lounge at Smallville High. He tries to kick you out, thinking you’re a student. Technically, you are. Turns out, you both go to the same university. 

AN: So I know it’s about 20 years late, but I’ve been wanting to write some Jason Teague for a while now. There’s a very dated reference to iPods (remember this show was circa early 2000s).

Word Count: 2,600 Tags/Warnings: Implied love triangle (quadrangle?), fluff, tinge of angst, and a meet cute.

“Hey, Coach T!”

Jason turns his head, shooting Clark Kent a smile that’s just a little bit forced. He slows down in the busy hallway so the younger man can catch up.

Clark’s friends, Chloe Sullivan and Lana Lang keep walking, though the brunette glances his way. Her hazel eyes catch his.

But Jason focuses on Clark, who’s coming at him with all six feet and three inches of farm boy earnestness.

Jason has City Boy Charm in his arsenal.

“What’s up, man?”

Clark smiles. “Real quick, just wanted to ask you about the drills we’re running today…”

Eighth period is about to start, meaning just another hour until school ends, and another day of practice begins on the football field. Clark takes all five minutes between classes to ask his questions about how he can better move the ball, his throwing technique, how to better communicate on plays with the rest of the guys.

As always, Jason gives Clark the best advice he has to offer. Even a few months into this job, he’s still feeling a bit of imposter syndrome. He’s only a couple of years older than the guys he’s coaching, and Clark is looking at him like he’s got all the answers.

Newsflash, champ. I don’t. Jason smiles though. 

Because Clark is something else. He’s a starting quarterback of a game he’s never played before in his life. Head Coach Quigley thought it was steroids at first, but Jason had a gut feeling about the guy.

“He’s not a cheater,” he’d told Quigley. The other man had scoffed, rubbing his chin.

“Okay, Teague. If you think so,” he said. “…Make him piss in a cup anyway.”

Since then, Clark hasn’t given Jason a reason to doubt him, at least on the field.

No, his reasons for still being wary of Clark are more…personal.

“All right, we’ll workshop the rest later on the field,” Jason says, as the starting bell rings. “You’re gonna be late for class.”

“Okay, see ya later.” Clark nods and holds up a hand in goodbye. To tell the truth, Jason is a little relieved to see him go.

Instead of heading to his office, he makes a pitstop at the faculty break lounge for a cup of coffee. He could use a little pick-me-up, even if it is from a watery K-cup.

When he pushes open the door, he’s greeted by the familiar smell of stale roasted hazelnut and microwaved fish. Along with the wall-to-wall countertop and refrigerator down the end, there’s a small round table fitted with just three chairs.

Uh oh, he thinks.

You’re sitting there with a pair of earbuds in, nodding to your music while you make notes with a red pen. The contents of your messenger bag are half-strewn across the table, displaying a couple of notebooks and binders, different colored highlighters, pens, and a post-it pad.

Your back is facing him, so he has to walk around the table to get your attention. He hesitates, before he taps your shoulder. He’s never had to do this before, and he’s actually a bit nervous.

“Hey there,” he says. His lips quirk when you jolt a little. You stare up at him with wide eyes and the top of your pen resting against your lower lip. 

“Uh…” You remove your ear buds and hit pause on your iPod.

“Did you get lost on the way to study hall, or you just here for the coffee?” Jason gestures to the Keurig machine on the counter. “Hate to break it to you, but that stuff’s not exactly quality joe.”

You blinked at him. “What? Um…I mean yeah, the coffee’s ass. But it is free, I guess.”

Jason tries to reign in his smile. He cards a hand through his blonde hair and taps his free hand on the table.

“Uh, are you ditching class or something?” he asks. “If it’s history, I get it. Snooze fest.”

He makes a flatlining motion with his hand. Your brows knit together in confusion…but then you brighten.

“Oh, I’m not a student,” you laugh. “But good on you for trying to lay down the law, Coach Teague.”

Now it’s Jason’s turn to be confused. “How did you know—”

You point with your red pen, over to the yellow patch emblazoned on his red polo that says: Crows Football and Assistant Coach.

“Pretty sure you’re the one the cheerleaders are calling Assistant Hottie,” you say. Your gaze is wry and a hint playful.

He lets himself smile, albeit with some embarrassment. He points at you.

“And you’re…”

“Part-time teacher’s aid,” you reply. Your hands make a frame around the stack of papers in front of you, that Jason now realizes you’re grading.

Great. His face warms a bit.

“Sorry,” he chuckles, and points to the coffee maker. “Let me just mind my business.”

He doesn’t know it, but you subtly watch him with a small smile while he goes about said business. The Keurig eventually spits out more roasted hazelnut into his Styrofoam cup.

With his prize in hand, he means to leave you in peace to head for his office, but your voice stops him.

“You can sit if you want. I need a break anyway.”

Jason can admit, at least to himself, that he’s curious. (About you.) He goes over to the table and sits down across from you. His eyes unconsciously dart over the splayed contents of your bag, and you don’t miss it.

“Sorry,” you say, as you try to reign in the mess and corral things back into your bag. “I’m kind of an organized chaos kind of girl.”

“No worries. I dabble in that philosophy myself,” he says with a grin. “I’m Jason, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” you reply, giving him your name in return.

You like his smile. His long fingers are wrapped around the steaming cup. Meanwhile, the afternoon sun is pouring in from the windows behind him. It shines golden on his hair and broad shoulders, and makes his green eyes look warm.

Those eyes glance down and focus on a familiar badge sticking out of your bag. His brows furrow.

“No way. You go to Kansas A&M?” he asks. “So do I.”

You blink at him. “What, you’re still in college?”

He laughs and leans back in his chair, blowing out a breath.

“Okay, wow! A bit rude," he says. "Just how old do you think I am?”

You bite your lip in embarrassment.

“Second thought, don’t answer that,” he quips.

“I’m sorry,” you say, through a bit of laughter. “I guess we’re both reading each other wrong today.”

Jason shakes his head and crosses his arms.

“No, no. It’s fine,” he says airily. “Lest I be any more presumptuous, can I ask what year you’re in? Major?”

You concede with a nod, but you’re still smiling too hard.

“Secondary Education. Junior year,” you say. Jason’s brows raise with his grin still in place.

“Okay, a future teacher on our hands.” He leans forward. “As it turns out, I’m actually a sophomore.”

A year below you. You bury your reddened face in your hands, though a giggle still bubbles up.

He doesn’t let you stew in your misery for long though.

“Eh, it’s okay. Don’t feel too bad,” he says. You hear the smile in his voice, and you peek out at him from between your fingers. “I’m technically a year behind. Transferred from another school so I could take this job.���

Once again, your eyes widen as your hands fall away from your face.

“Oh, yeah? I assume you play football, but I’ve never seen you on the team…”

Jason’s smile turns playfully cocky.

“I don’t play anymore, but I’ll have you know, I was on track for the NFL.”

Yeah, for about a minute, comes a dull reminder in his brain.

You rest your chin in your hand as you meet his smile. “Okay. You definitely have the face of a guy who almost went pro.”

Your voice lowers at the end there, impersonating every “dude bro” you’ve ever met who thought he could throw a ball across a field.

“I’m serious.” Jason laughs, but then his eyes dim a bit. “I played for Metropolis U. Tore my rotator cuff, and uh…that’s it. Scrubbed. Had to start over.”

You dim along with him. “That sucks ass. I’m sorry.”

He snorts, almost spilling his coffee. “You’ve certainly got a way with words.”

“But you feel better for me calling you old, don’t you?” Your pen taps on your lip, and his eyes are drawn to the gesture.

He also notices your eyes, the shape of your face, the shade of your hair, the black Fleetwood Mac shirt (with a ripped V hinting at cleavage). It doesn’t exactly scream T.A., but you’re pretty.

Beautiful, really.

He tries not to notice that too much.

“Maybe a little,” he allows. He smiles behind a sip of his drink. It’s getting cold, as he forgets to actually drink it.

“My parents sent me to college to be a lawyer,” you confess. It perks his interest with raised brows. “Like my mom, and my uncle, and his father before him, and so on.”

Jason’s smile is back. You consider that a small triumph.

“I sat in one class. Intro to Business Law.” You shudder at the memory. “Jason, I wanted to bludgeon myself with the textbook. And it wouldn’t have taken long. That thing was the size of a Dostoyevsky novel.”

Jason laughs, even though he doesn’t know who Dostoyevsky is. It does unearth a distant memory of his 12th grade English class (he barely passed that one).

“So, I decided to disappoint them,” you say ruefully.

That, he understands all too well. He raises a finger at you. “Hey, a teacher’s respectable. But I happen to be an expert at disappointed parents, so you’re in good company.”

You smile, small but genuine. Jason counts that as a win.

“What’s your major now?” you ask.

“Sports medicine,” he replies, but you both hear the lack of enthusiasm in his voice.

Your head tilts, and your eyes soften. Not with pity, he thinks. Maybe with understanding.

“You could find something else you’re actually passionate about,” you say.

Jason bites the inside of his lip, sets his cup back on the table.

“Sure,” he says.

His lackluster answer is telling, and he can’t even think of a joke to inject into this moment to lighten the mood. (He even disappoints himself there.)

“Look, I get it,” you say at last. “You probably ate, slept, breathed that game. Like that’s what you were put on this earth to do. And I know you must’ve been good. Because the fact that this school hired you while you’re still in college is amazing.”

He meets your gaze steadily. 

Your smile brightens. “But I’m sure football’s not all there is to you.” 

That touches him. Warms him even, though he’s reluctant to let it. 

“We just met, and you’re already sure about that?” he remarks. 

You shrug, gesturing at his cup. “Well, I’m sure that you probably have crappy taste in coffee. I’m broke as hell, and even I don’t drink from a Keurig.” 

Jason laughs. If you only knew that he’d spent his summer in Paris, sampling some of the best restaurants and cafés in the world without even looking at the bill…until his dad cut him off. Needless to say, he’s had to refine his tastes.

“What kind of teacher do you want to be?” he asks, instead of getting to all that.

Your brow arches. “You mean what subject?”

“Yeah. What, like physics or something?”

“Ew. God, no!” 

“What’s wrong with physics?”

“Too much math. I’m shit at that shit,” you reply. 

“Okay. No to the sciences.” He laughs and rubs his chin, squinting at you. “Let me see if I can guess.”

You gesture widely. Go ahead.

“Not economics, I’m thinking. Too close to business,” he teases.

“Business law,” you correct. “But you’re actually right about that.”

“Hmm, history?”

“It's interesting, but it’s also rigged,” you say. “Only the victors in society get to dictate what gets remembered. Just look at Columbus Day. What a sham that is.”

Jason allows that with a nod and a smile. “All right, what then? Algebra? Geometry?”

“That’s math, remember?” you reply, with furrowed brows. “Besides, I don’t like mixing letters and numbers. It’s not sanitary.” 

He chortles at that. You’re a little ridiculous, but he kind of likes that.

“Okay, how about English?” he says.

Your gaze flicks up to his. A small, growing smile. 

“What makes you say that?” you ask. 

“Process of elimination?” he says. His smile curves. He saw your little reaction. “But I don’t know. I get the feeling you’re a hell of a lot smarter than me. The way you’re talking, all quick as a whip… Like I said, you’ve got a way with words.”

You laugh a little. “Oh, do I?” 

Jason’s brows raise expectantly as he leans back in his seat again.

Well, then? that move says. “Am I right?”

Your head tilts, and you answer the unspoken challenge in his eyes. You raise a finger and pull out one of your notebooks and you take up your red pen. You tap the top of it on your lip, in what seems to be your habit, and you begin to write on a clean piece of paper.

Your hand moves with purpose on each word. Jason watches you in curiosity. Though when you realize he’s staring hard at your paper, your free hand forms a wall against his probing eyes.

“No cheating,” you reproach.

He scoffs, but he waits for you to finish.

Finally, you tear off the piece of notebook paper, fold it up neatly, and you slide it over to him.

“What, are we passing notes now?” Jason can’t help but joke, even as he opens the little gift. “I thought we weren’t in class, Professor.”

You shake your head. “Just read it.”

He starts to, and his smile grows. He glances back up at you. “You wrote me a poem?”

“Just a little haiku.” You gesture at him to keep reading while you start to pack up your things. The alarm bell just tolled for the end of class, and you have another job to get to.

Jason’s eyes lower back down to the looping scrawl of your handwriting. His smile deepens into a smirk.

Assistant Hottie

You flatter me, see through me

Smarter than he thinks.

He stares at your words for a while. He rereads the last line a few times.

By the time he looks back up, your bag is packed and you’re standing, ready to go. You smile at him.

“See you on campus,” you say. “I also work at the Writing Center, if you ever need a spruce up on your essays.”

“Can I get you to rewrite my history paper?” he teases.

“Make an appointment,” you counter, still with that smile. “And we’ll see.”

You leave the faculty lounge, and Jason feels a suspicious jolt in his heart.

Something he immediately feels guilty about. 

Because the real reason he came back to Kansas is to continue his summer fling with Lana Lang, a senior at Smallville High. 

Well, to him, it’s not a fling. He used to think it was as close to love as he’s ever been. Recently though, he’s been getting the sense that she’s still hung up on her not quite ex, Clark Kent.

That’s not even the most complicated part.

She’s 18, and Jason’s barely 20, but their relationship could still one day be the reason he loses his job…

And maybe, any chance he might have of being friends with someone like you.

AN: Lol no shade to my sciences, history, and math people! Just creating a character. Let me know what you think! 😉

And if you liked this...

Read the Sequel!

Check out "Miss Professor" to continue reading. ❤️

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Main Masterlist

Jason Tag List:

(Includes "Everything" tags + "JT" tags.)

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[sotwk]

Food and Agriculture in Thranduil's Kingdom

It's unfortunate that Thorin's Company was welcomed as dinner guests in Rivendell but imprisoned as invaders in Mirkwood. Had Thorin just shown King Thranduil just a little bit more respect, they could have been fed a whole lot better by the Silvans. And there would most definitely have been meat!

While the Rivendell elves seem to lean vegetarian, and Lothlorien's culinary specialty is the "one bite" lembas, the elves of Greenwood know more than a thing or two about indulgent feasting. These elves consider themselves permanent residents of their land, and with that outlook comes an attitude of celebrating Middle-earth's bounties.

The Silvans of the Woodland Realm have always been fond of feasting, merry-making, and community and family traditions centered around food. Furthermore, they are ruled by a King and royal family who whole-heartedly support this culture, participate in it themselves, and encourage trade that allows the realm to access food from other lands.

When it comes to food, the Greenwood elves are actually more alike Dwarves and Hobbits than they are the lofty High Elves.

Below the cut are SotWK headcanons regarding Food and Agriculture in the Woodland Realm:

Food, Cuisine, and Agriculture in the Woodland Realm

Prior to the establishment of the Woodland Realm and in the early reign of King Oropher (c. SA 700), the Silvan Elves populating Greenwood lived in smaller communities spread throughout the vast forest, but predominantly in the southwest, closer to their kin in Lorinand. Limited subsistence farming was practiced by a few, but by far most food at this time was obtained through hunting and gathering. The rich and bountiful Greenwood had always provided more than enough resources for its dwellers.

GATHERING

Greenwood Elves happily spend most of their immortal lives within Eryn Galen and the lands of Rhovanion, so they are accustomed to living off solely what the forest produces, and their diet is influenced largely by it.

The most commonly foraged edibles are:

Nuts: hazelnut, pecan, walnut, hickory, beechnut, chestnut

Fruit: plum, apple, grape, persimmon

Berries: mulberry, blackberry, currant, elderberry, raspberry

Wild garlic and ramps

Fungi: mushrooms and truffles of many varieties

Eggs: from various wild birds

Herbs and Spices: fennel, corn mint, dandelions, ground elder, pigweed, cicely, sorrel, hogweed, stinging nettle, watercress, wild carrot, rowan, wood avens, sneezewort

Maple: sourced for sugar and syrup

There are also hundreds of plant species native only to Greenwood and Rhovanion that are valued for their uses in healing. However, the Silvan herbalists of Greenwood are usually the only ones able to effectively extract the curative properties of these plants, indicating a connection between Elves and homeland may be necessary for the healing to work.

Art from Fantasy Flight Games

HUNTING

Greenwood Elves are expert hunters and trackers, with unparalleled mastery within their forest and the lands that surround its borders. With careful consideration and instinctual knowledge of the forest ecosystem, they select their prey according to what's most populous, and rotate as necessary to balance out conservation levels.

Among the animals they hunt regularly for meat consumption are rabbit, squirrel, duck, turkey, quail, weasel, racoon, boar, deer, wild oxen, and elk. On rare or special occasions, they hunt less common game such as lion and bear. They also obtain fish and freshwater mussels, clams, and snails from the Forest River and various streams.

It is illegal in Greenwood to hunt or kill specific animals that are declared a protected species, including the King's Elk (the breed of Thranduil's war elk), the silverwolf, and all species of eagle or falcon.

Any fauna or fauna may also be temporarily decreed off-limits for hunting or gathering, by order of the Elvenking and his council.

Any animal taken in as an elf's pet or familiar may also not be killed, so long as it has been properly tamed and does not pose a risk to others.

Throughout the Second Age, the Woodland Realm's population steadily increased under the wise rule of King Oropher and his court. As the communities and villages that made up the kingdom grew larger and more numerous, the practice of agriculture became more widespread to bolster the realm's food supply.

In the Woodland Realm, farming would always remain secondary to hunting and gathering due to the preference of Silvans for wild game and native vegetation. Farmed products serve primarily to enhance cuisine, supplement large feasts, provide reserves in case of war or famine, and as goods for trade with other realms.

FARMING and LIVESTOCK

Tracts of community farmlands were gradually cultivated in the arable fields between Greenwood's western borders (near the capital of Amon Lanc) and the Anduin River.

In order of output, the food crops most commonly grown are: wheat, barley, oats, potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, lettuce, peppers, and peas.

Fiber crops grown for cloth, paper, and rope include: flax, hemp, and cotton.

Domesticated animals are raised in small numbers solely for their by-products and not their meat. In order of importance, livestock that are raised are:

Sheep: source of wool and milk

Chickens: source of eggs

Cows: source of milk and for birthing calves

Animals raised for labor include:

Horses: highly valued and raised exclusively for transport and mounted cavalry

Oxen: used as beasts of burden (large-scale/community work)

Donkeys: used as beasts of burden (small-scale/family work)

When Prince Thranduil built his own palace of Bar Lasgalen just south of the Old Forest Road (which would later become the new capital upon his ascension to the throne), he helped the Silvans residing in the valleys of the Emyn Duir to initiate small-scale agriculture, which encouraged further migration into that area and northward towards the Grey Mountains.

Elvish historians refer to the first millennium of the Third Age as the "Golden Age of the Woodland Realm". During these years, the kingdom enjoyed an unbroken peace under a wise King and Queen who also had five sons actively involved in the governance of the realm.

Departing from his father's more isolationist leanings, Thranduil encouraged trade with realms across Middle-earth. It included all the races except for Hobbits, since the Shire did not yet exist prior to the darkening of Greenwood.

Sadly, most trade came to a stop by the end of the Third Age, with the exception of the nearby Dale, due to the struggles with Dol Guldur. However, after Erebor was reestablished by King Thorin, trade gradually resumed with the Dwarves. After the War of the Ring and the Cleansing of Dol Guldur, Eryn Lasgalen once again thrived with renewed relations with their trade partners--finally including the Shire!

AGRICULTURAL TRADE

The Woodland Realm's three most valuable exported agricultural products are:

Rare spices

Mushrooms and truffles

Medicinal herbs (extremely valuable but highly controlled to prevent misuse)

Imported goods are considered luxuries and not necessities, and are brought in seasonally for community feasts and celebrations (of which there are many). Everything is meant for the consumption of all the kingdom's citizens, regardless of status; there is never anything reserved as "special" for the royals or nobles.

The top agricultural imports, usually from realms/communities of Men, are:

Wine

Textiles (silk, cotton)

Seafood

Sugar

Cheeses

ARTISAN COOKS and BAKERS

Exposure to outside realms and cultures also resulted in an expansion of the culinary arts within Thranduil's kingdom. Cooking and baking became full-blown, respected and sought-after professions instead of tasks done within individual households. With the King's support, talented Elves were sent to other realms to learn their culinary practices; chefs from other kingdoms were invited to Greenwood as royal guests to do the same.

A few culinary feats and innovations the Woodland Elves became known for:

Use of offal (innards) in recipes that actually taste fantastic, thanks to seasonings and skilled cookery

Using literally every single part of a butchered animal with zero waste

Aphrodisiacs in common food recipes, using plant ingredients (partly responsible for their marriage and birth rates and large families)

Salted game meat (jerky) that is highly nourishing and excellent for travel; essentially a meat version of lembas

The use of whipped egg whites to make essentially a type of meringue--which opened up an entire category of desserts that became staples at feasts

Bonus Fun Headcanons! (as a thank you for reading this far)

Mealtimes in Thranduil's Family

No one can beat Ada in drinking contests, ever; it has been attempted hundreds of times--usually with Dorwinion wine--and Thranduil has never been dethroned by his sons.

The King and every single one of the Princes are all heavy eaters, and everyone, including the Queen, eats meat.

While they all observe formal manners at the table, the Princes can get rowdy when not in the presence of their mother--especially when there's drinking involved. (Not quite as bad as Thorin's Company, but close.)

Breakfast: Taken individually in their own rooms, according to each one's schedule/leisure

Lunch: The most commonly skipped meal; usually taken "on the go", and oftentimes with people outside of the family (e.g. business lunches, lunch with friends)

Dinner: The family meal. Everyone is expected to sit down and eat dinner with the rest of the family, unless traveling or there is a prior commitment that takes precedence.

Random Fun Food Facts with the Thranduilions

The Princes regularly compete to see who can eat the most exotic/"disgusting" food items. Turhir remains champion at this (able and willing to eat literally everything), with Legolas frequently trying (and constantly failing) to unseat him.

They have also competed to see who can eat the riskiest (aka poisonous) food items. Arvellas has somehow proven to be the most impervious to natural poisons, much to Gelir's frustration.

Legolas can go the longest without eating food, but no one really cares to try to beat his record.

Mirion is the heaviest eater, but is also the fastest, and because he has flawless table manners no one really notices.

Gelir can find truffles just using his sense of smell--yes, like a truffle pig. He has successfully trained other similarly gifted Elves to do the same.

For more Thranduil/Mirkwood headcanons: SotWK HC Masterlist

Tolkien Headcanon tag list: @quickslvxr @laneynoir @auttumnsayshi @achromaticerebus @tamryniel @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @blueberryrock @aduialel @glassgulls @ladyweaslette @klytemnestra13 @creativity-of-death @heilith @fizzyxcustard @absentmindeduniverse @lathalea @tamurilofrivendell @jordie-your-local-halfling @ladyk8tie @scyllas-revenge @asianbutnotjapanese @conversacomsmaug @lemonivall @ratsys @a-world-of-whimsy-5 @entishramblings @stormchaser819 @freshalmondpandadonut

[vivwritesfics]

Shine A Light Into The Wreckage

Chapter Four - Not-Bob

Bob Floyd was many things. He was an instructor at Top Gun, a lover of Tolkien books and a huge fan of coffee. But Bob was also clumsy. That was how he bumped into the table, knocking her drink onto her notebook. He felt bad about it. Bad enough to come back time and time again, in the hopes that she would be there. And, every time, she is. Each time looking a little worse for wear. It doesn't take Bob long to realise he has to save her.

2K

Warnings: Abusive relationship! Abusive hair pulling! Abusive choking! Forceful sex! Domestic abuse! Seriously don't read if you're affect by stuff like this! Talks of stalking (but in a non serious manner) (Specifically this chapter has 0 warnings, it's just cute)

Series Masterlist

"You officially dress like a grandpa."

On the two other times they had met, she had been at the café before him, almost like she was waiting for him. This time, though, Bob was there first. He had her hazelnut latte with oat milk and a black coffee in front of him. 

When she took off her bag and sat opposite him, Bob pushed the hazelnut latte towards her. "You know," she began as she settled into her seat. "I come here to write. You're making it really hard, Bobby," she said, wearing a smile. "But thank you."

Bob gave it a second. "You owe me a name," he said, one hand around his coffee shop mug.

"You're a terrible stalker." She shook her head, grin widening as she took another sip. It was perfect, her exact order. But then she gave him her name. 

Bob repeated it back to her, letting it roll off the tongue. "It's nice," he said. "Nicer than Bob."

"Shut up," she said quickly. But it wasn’t malicious in any way. "If you don't like it, why does everybody call you Bob?"

Bob brought his coffee to his lips. "It's my Callsign," he said as he took in a too big sip, burning his mouth in the process. But Bob ignored the sensation as he looked at her. 

She looked up at him, eyebrows raised. "What's a Callsign?"

"It's pretty much a nickname that's used for identification. There's probably loads of Roberts on a carrier at any one time but I'm the only Bob," he said and adjusted his glasses, a nervous habit.

She folded her arms over her chest, holding her elbows as she looked at him. "Well, I like Bob," she said, reaching for her coffee. "It's... nice." She couldn't tell him it was cute, even if that was what she meant.

Bob looked around at the café. On the two previous occasions they had met, she had been alone. Even now she was sitting with Bob. Not friends, not her boyfriend. She was alone, aside from Bob.

"What do you do for fun around here?" Bob asked as he leaned forward. 

She let out a laugh, but only a weak one. "What do I do for fun? What do you do for fun, Mr Pilot Guy?" 

"I go to The Hard Deck," Bob answered.

He stared at her as he waited for her to answer. But, for the first time since they had met, he had left her without anything to say.

Her eyes met his as she fiddled with her cream, cuffed sleeve of her sweater. "Is it... do you guys really have fun in there?" She asked him.

Bob's brows furrowed behind his glasses. "I thought you said you'd been there."

"I have!" She said quickly. "But, you know, it wasn’t all that fun," the last part she said quietly. 

That look crossed her face again, the one she wore when he had asked about the book. As much Bob wanted to reach across and touch her hand, he didn’t. "You could come with us, if you'd like. I'd make sure Hangman behaves."

"Yeah," she responded quietly. "I might take you up on that." 

She quickly changed the subject, making things light and fun once again. She asked him about Montana, she had so many questions about Montana. Bob answered all of them. He told her about his grandparents farm, about the little house at the bottom of the property. When he was eighteen he had promised his Grandma that he would fix it up, but he hadn't gotten around to it yet. But he had certainly meant to. 

She checked the time on her phone periodically, comparing it to the sky. Watching for when it got dark, Bob figured. He had hoped that, once again, he'd get to walk her home. 

But, when the sky turned orange, she stood and slung her bag over her shoulder. "I've got to go," she said with a smile. "Thanks for the coffee, Bob." 

He stood up with her, bumping the table as he did so. "Do you want me to walk you home? I'm more than happy to," he said, but she shook her head. 

"It's okay," she replied and looked at the sky as it turned orange. "It's not dark yet."

But, still, Bob wasn't quite ready to say goodbye. "It's on my way home. It really wouldn't be a-"

"I said no, Bob," she said suddenly, firmly. "Drop it." 

Bob just watched her as she walked out of the cafe, shoving her hands into her pockets as she walked down the street. As soon as he couldn't see her, he walked out of the cafe and climbed into his truck. He watched her in his rearview mirror, at least until she turned the corner. 

Bob couldn’t help but sigh as he drove off, heading in the other direction to his apartment. He hadn't meant to lie about where he lived and, while it felt harmless at the time, Bob regretted it.

When she disappeared, he let out a sigh and began driving back to his house, back to Frodo. Did she like cats, he found himself wondering. Would she like Frodo if she met him? Frodo would like her. He'd attached himself to the few women that had come into his little house. 

***

On the Monday, Bob volunteered for the coffee run yet again. He was already patting his wallet as he began walking out to his truck. 

But a hand on his shoulder stopped him. "I'll get it, Baby Bob," said Jake. He gave Bob no time to respond as he climbed into his own car. 

"Wait!" Bob called as he watched the car disappear. "Hangman!"

Jake wasn't getting the coffee out of the goodness of his heart. He wasn't doing it to pay Bob back for all of the times he had paid for coffee. He wasn't doing it to give Bob time to prepare for his next lesson at Top Gun. 

When Bob was gone for all of those hours on Saturday, he and Natasha had been discussing all sorts of theories. After going in circles, they narrowed in on the cute barista with the pink hair. 

Jake parked up outside of the cafe. He climbed out of the car and strode in with the confidence of a saltwater crocodile (a notoriously confident animal).

He didn't spot the cute barista with the pink hair right away. His eyes scanned behind the counter as he stepped up to it. He rang the bell, waiting for someone to serve him. 

The cute barista with the pink hair came around the corner. "Hey there," she said with a charming smile. 

Jake didn't know what Bob's type was, didn't know that his type was sitting on one of the tables behind him, writing in her newly acquired notebook. 

Jake wore his award winning, charming smile as he looked at her name tag. "Hello," he squinted at her name tag, "Mariana," he said, drumming his fingers against the counter top. "Can I get three black coffees?" 

Immediately she turned to make coffee. "Do you like a man in uniform, Mariana?" He asked.

"Sure, hun," she said and placed the first coffee in a cup holder on the counter in front of him. 

"Yeah," Jake muttered as he rocked on the balls of his feet. "Yeah, one of my fellow aviators has been coming in here a lot," he said. "You haven't seen him, have you? These geeky glasses, Callsign Bob?" 

Mariana wore a contemplative expression as she placed the other two coffees in the cup holder.

"Yeah," she finally said, nodding. "Yeah. A hazelnut oat latte and either a black coffee or a tea," she said, looking past Jake. But her eyes quickly went back to him as she rang him up. 

He pulled the money from his wallet. "So, Bob hasn't been flirting with you?" He asked with his brows furrowed. 

Mariana couldn't stop the laugh from leaving her lips. "I wish," she said to him. "Hasn't he gotten a girlfriend? He always gets his drinks and then sits on one of the back tables with a girl in a knit sweater."

Jake picked up his coffees, thanked her and walked out of the cafe. He climbed into his car and looked back towards the café. Girl in a sweater. He was looking for a girl in a knit sweater. 

Of the three people sitting in the café,  none of them were wearing a knit sweater. 

Jake let out a sigh as he drove away. 

She had noticed him the moment he had walked into the cafe. His khaki uniform was the same as what Bob was wearing when they first met, when he threw the coffee over her. She couldn't help but hope it was him, until she looked at his face. 

She was crushed with disappointment.

When Not-Bob started talking to the barista, she tried not to listen in. It wasn't her business what this navy man was talking about. He wasn't Bob, so why should she care? Even if it was Bob, she shouldn't be caring if he was flirting with Mariana. 

But then Not-Bob mentioned Bob's name, and she couldn't stop herself from listening in. The questions that Not-Bob directed at Mariana, she couldn't help but think that they should have been directed at her. 

She sipped her hazelnut oat latte, pen still against the paper as she listened. When Mariana told Not-Bob about her sweater, she grinned, holding back a laugh. Oh yeah, they were definitely talking about her. 

Not-Bob thanked Mariana and walked out of the café. She watched him sit in his car for a moment before he drove away. 

When he was gone, she closed her notebook and tucked her pen into the binder rings. Slipping her notebook back into her bag she stood up and left the cafe, making her way back to her office. 

As she sat at her desk, she stared at the phone. All she wanted was for it to ring, just for something to do. Her notebook, the one that Bob had bought for her, was in front of her, open once again, but she didn't write in it, not with how her boss was staring at her from the office. 

The phone finally rang and she directed the call to the salesman. At the sight of her finally doing her job, her boss looked away and she began writing in the notebook. 

If she had been clever, she would have gotten Bob to give her his number. God knows she would have spent all day texting him if she had his number.

But then, if she did have his number, how long until Ken found out? How long until Ken broke this phone, just like the last phone she had?

She knew she had to get Bob's phone number, but she wanted to put it off. When Ken found out about Bob, there was no telling what he would do. There was no way she would ever see Bob after, and she enjoyed his company far too much for that. 

She would go to The Hard Deck. Ken be damned, she'd go. It was all planned out in her head, what she would do and how she would do it. 

All through the work day she imagined how that night would go. Drinking with him, meeting his friends. It sounded like a perfect night, better than any night she had spent with Ken in a long time. 

But the more she thought about it, the more anxiety settled in her stomach. 

Her boss cleared her throat and she picked up the phone, one she hadn't noticed was ringing.

Taglist: @biancathecool @not-nyasa @burningwitchprincess @darksparklesficrecs @primroseluna @littlemsbumblebee @wretchedmo @imaginecrushes @calpalsbestie

[blackcrowing]

Authentic Irish Foods for Samhain

🩸 Blood pudding (living cattle could be bled through the winter to provide the material as well as collecting blood when the cattle were slaughtered to keep the numbers down for winter)

🫓 Brambrack

🍲 Stew

Lamb

Beef

Wild boar

Domestic pig

Deer

Goose

Mallard

Hare

🐗 Salted wild boar and domestic pig (it is possible that other meats were salted for preservation but given that salt was an expensive commodity and no records indicate other meats we simply do not know. I will note here that we also don't seem to have records of smoked meats for preservation during this time)

🦌 From Samhain to Bealtaine it was considered inappropriate to hunt wild game, including boar. So while wild meats were likely eaten and preserved through this time, much like crop harvests for Lughnasadh, any game that wasn't taken before this festival was supposed to be left alone to breed. (Very unlike our modern hunting schedules)

🍺 Mead and Barely ale

🥣 Porridge

Oat

Barley

🥛 Dairy (this would likely become more limited as the season progressed, but butter has been found in bogs, presumed to be preserved but potentially given as offerings)

Cow's milk

Butter

Curds

mulchán 'hard cheese' (the exact nature of this cheese is unknown but it was described as being extremely hard and could be stored for long periods of time)

🦪 Sea food

Sloke

Clams

Muscles

Crab

Halibut

Sea Salmon

🌿Native Culinary Plants growing in Ireland at this time of year

Skirret

Apples

Purple sprouting boccoli

Wild cabbage

Blackberry

Raspberry

Rowan berries

Elder berries

Sloes

Rosehip

Acorn

Chestnuts

Hazelnuts

Hen of the woods

Pullball

Fairy Ring Champignon

Chanterelle

Porcini

Black Trumpet

Saffron Milk Caps

Cauliflower Mushroom

Wood Blewit

Penny bun

There would be an abundance of foods at this point in the year, but that food would become lesser as the season progressed do to lack of production in the environment and the fact that this point in the year was a time for traveling and feasting (likely to increase bonds amongs the Tuatha and because people would not be as occupied with farming and raiding).

My Kofi

[eezdalf]

We should also consider if the inhabitants of the mega-sites consciously managed their ecosystem to avoid large-scale deforestation... Archaeological studies of their economy suggest a pattern of small-scale gardening, often taking place within the bounds of the settlement, combined with the keeping of livestock, cultivation of orchards, and a wide spectrum of hunting and foraging activities. The diversity is actually remarkable, as is its sustainability. As well as wheat, barley, and pulses, the citizens' plant diet included apples, pears, cherries, sloes, acorns, hazelnuts and apricots. Mega-site dwellers were hunters of red deer, roe deer, and wild boar as well as farmers and foresters. It was 'play farming' on a grand scale: an urban populous supporting itself through small-scale cultivation and herding, combined with an extraordinary array of wild foods. This way of life was by no means 'simple'. As well as managing orchards, gardens, livestock and woodlands, the inhabitants of these cities imported salt in bulk from springs in the eastern Carpathians and the Black Sea littoral. Flint extraction by the ton took place in the Dniestr valley, furnishing material for tools. A household potting industry flourished, its products considered among the finest ceramics of the prehistoric world; and regular supplies of copper flowed in from the Balkans. There is no firm consensus from archaeologists about what sort of social arrangements all this required, but most would agree the logistical challenges were daunting. A surplus was definitely produced, and with it ample potential for some to seize control of the stocks and supplies, to lord it over others or battle for the spoils; but over the eight centuries we find little evidence for warfare or the rise of social elites.

a description of talianki (located in modern day ukraine), a neolithic site from 5,700 years ago (inhabited from roughly 4100 to 3300 bc) from the dawn of everything by davids: graeber and wengrow

once again this book is fantastic - and one of its main theses is that "the agricultural revolution" and some of the conclusions we draw from it are, largely, not true.

the development of farming in human societies is a much much longer and more "playful" process than popular narratives would have us believe. 'agricultural revolution' suggests an on/off switch almost. and the way it's usually taught sees agriculture being "invented" and then spreading like wildfire to take over the globe - only then allowing for true cities and the "necessary evils" they entail. this simply isn't true. an urban, farming society is not automatically doomed to bureaucracy, inequality, and exploitation.

all across the world the archaeological evidence points to the domestication of plants taking literal thousands of years longer than it "ought to." and then, even when the domestication of a wild plant was complete there isn't an immediate rise of huge fields and class stratification (as the popular narrative goes). again - in the magnitude of multiple thousands of years. we have generations upon generations of humans with farming know-how who don't immediately begin a march of politics and inequality precipitated by farming.

agriculture isn't humanity's curse no matter what the memes and capitalists say. we are not doomed to our current ways - we can imagine, we can build, we can create new ways of being. the past is the present is the past. and fuck you capitalism and doomed "human nature" debates. and read the dawn of everything <3