#Hazbin Hotel Fanfic Commissions

[my-dark-lord]

!! HELLUVA BOSS/HAZBIN HOTEL HEADCANON REQUESTS ARE OPEN !!

PLEASE read and respect the rules or your request will be denied/ignored.

|| Ask Box  || General Blog Rules || Fanfic Commission Info || Headcanon Prompts ||

REQUESTING RULES:

Please keep in mind I will do requests for single characters as well as ships. I’m a multishipper at heart.

Any anon hate will be deleted. 

Just so you know, these will be done as I can get to them, and I reserve the right not to do them at all. I have a life outside of Tumblr and I run several other blogs and write, so just because I don't answer right away doesn't mean I'm not interested!

If you don’t want to use one of the prompt lists I have reblogged, you can send in a word prompt, or a specific headcanon prompt you want to see.

Feel free to reblog this! Spread the word!

Prompts can be anonymous or not, and you can talk to me about them in DMs while remaining anonymous. This is especially important for any smutty requests. Those that I have tagged after anonymous submissions gave me permission.

[written-in-sunshine]

Hello! I’m Key, and this is my commission sheet! All of the necessary information for commissioning me is here, and I’d appreciate it if you could take a look before shooting me a message! Here is my Ao3 For Reference!

GUIDELINES

Please read my Will Not Write section thoroughly. Just because something is on the list doesn’t mean that I dislike or don’t support it, but there are things on that list that I just don’t have enough interest in writing. That said, things on my Will Write list do not inherently mean that I support or like it. 

Currently, the only fandom listed that I will write for is the Hellaverse (Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss). This is because it is a hyperfixation for me and I am more capable of writing for them without issue.

I will allow up to three edits of less than 300 words before those incur a fee. If I interpreted your prompt wrong entirely, please let me know. If the confusion was on my part, no fee for a total rewrite will be incurred.

Please message me before filling out the form for a commission. I’d like to discuss particulars about certain topics and things and I’d like to approve the commission beforehand.

If given artistic freedom for a prompt, I will write how I naturally write the characters. I am willing to take direction for how you want characters to be written. I would prefer not to go against canon to the point of completely erasing a character���s identity. This does not count for certain kink scenarios (Bimbofication and other mind-altering things).

This is a proship and kink-friendly account. By proship, I mean that I will not harass others over their fictional tastes and I do not support harassing anyone for any reason. I will write things that will make you uncomfortable. I will write things that are dead dove: do not eat. I will write a whole host of things and if that upsets you, please find someone else to commission.

I predominantly write romance, smut, fluff, and angst, but can try my hand at other genres. 

I do not mind aging characters up for smut, and I will write any manner of ship type from m/f, m/m/, f/f, to polyamory. Please keep in mind that a fee will incur for more than 4 characters in a ship per every 1k words. If your ship includes 6 people then I will require at least 1,500 words minimum to write them. Smut for that many will be over 2,000 words easily.

For prompts, I will accept up to five words, two sentences, or a small paragraph of what you would like for me to write. Prompt sheets are also okay to use! Please try to be as concise as possible.

I will not start your commission until the upfront $15 for the first 500 words is paid. Once that is paid, I will begin and you will only be charged for the rest once the fic is completely finished and edited. I tend to add 100+ words to things in the editing process, as a heads-up. Payment can be made via PayPal, Venmo, and CashApp.

Will Write List

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Most Kinks (PLEASE ask if you��re unsure), Smut, Top/Bottom Dynamics, Omegaverse, AUs, Crossovers, Domestic Fluff, Violence, Age Gap Ships, Any Sexualities, Intersex Characters, Homophobia/Transphobia/Fantasy Racism/Racism (IF THE CONTENT IS RELEVANT TO THE CHARACTER), Your OCs, My OCs, OC-Centric Fics, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Angst, Headcanon-Based Things, Canon Compliant Fic, Canon Divergent Fic, Most Ships, Sickfics, Whump

Will Not Write List

Defecation of ANY KIND, tickling, gas, eye trauma, OCs without proper information for me to work from

Ships Most Likely To Write - Hellaverse

Adam/Lucifer

Adam/Lute

Alastor/Angel Dust

Alastor/Angel Dust/Valentino

Alastor/Valentino

Alastor/Vox/Angel Dust/Valentino

Alastor/Vox/Valentino

Alessio/Crimson

Beelzebub/Ozzie

Chaz/Barbie

Fizzarolli/Ozzie

Mammon/Ozzie

Striker/Andrealphus

Travis/Angel Dust

Valentino/Angel Dust

Velvette/Chaz

Velvette/Valentino

Vox/Valentino

Vox/Valentino/Angel Dust

Vox/Velvette

Vox/Velvette/Valentino

Zestial/Velvette

Ships I Will Not Write - Hellaverse

Alastor/Charlie

Alastor/Lucifer

Blitzø/Stolas

Blitzø/Verosika

Lute/Vaggie

Moxxie/Millie

Verosika/Barbie (MAY make an exception for this)

Fandoms I Will Write Crossovers With

Assassin's Creed

Catherine

Deadman Wonderland

Devil's Carnival

Dragon Age

The Evil Within

Fallout Universe

Final Fantasy VII

Final Fantasy X/X-2

Inception

Insidious

Invader Zim

IT

Jeepers Creepers

Kick-Ass

Kingdom Hearts

Krampus

Left 4 Dead

Lollipop Chainsaw

Mad Max

Nightmare On Elm Street

The Quarry

Portal

Saw

Silent Hill

South Park

Team Fortress 2

Until Dawn

Feel free to ask about other fandoms, as well!

Please reblog to spread the word!

[kalico-of-doom]

A fun and delightful comic commission from whimsy__willow over on ao3 of a scene from their fic

I honestly love getting little fic scene commissions like this, they’re one of my favorite challenges as far as bringing a story to life :3

[fraugwinska]

“We are venturing through unsteady and unknown territory, little gem. But we shall carry on just as before, and will solve this puzzle together. For the time being, let's just settle that I have, indeed, grown fond of you.” [Method to Madness Chapter 15]

I scream-cried-threw-up-exploded-died-resurrected-repeated when the absolutely talented, gorgeous, awsome @chefskjss sent me the result of my first ever commission of Alastor together with the reader of my main fic Method to Madness.

To see Alastor and Gem together like this will forever be one of the greatest moments in my life. 📻💎

Thank you for lending your amazing talent to do this - I cannot imagine anyone more deserving or better to have done it! Please send every ounce of love her way - she's an outstanding artist and truly a lovely person!

[libby-for-life]

A trade I did with @sir-tater-of-the-tot

Go commission them!

This is a scene straight out of chapter 2 of Adam Dies.

Lucifer cocked an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Your baby?" he repeated, teasingly. "What makes him your baby?" Adam cursed his poor choice of words and he was now going to be teased about it.

Adam shrugged, feeling defensive. "I don't know," he said. "I pet him and hold him all the time. We play together. He's just my baby, okay?! He's cute!"

Lucifer chuckled, clearly amused. "Aw, your little baby, huh?" he said. With that, he lifted Adam and held him close, running his fingers through his hair. Adam blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and pleasure. He always did like people playing with his hair. "Well, I'm holding you and petting you right now. We play all the time together, and I think you're cute. Does that mean you're my baby?"

"What?! That's not the same thing!" Adam yelled, struggling in Lucifer's arms. "I'm not you're baby!"

Luci saying something like that and having stars in his eyes....I'd be blushing too.

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

Kinks Adam didn't know he had until he was trapped in hell with Lucifer. Or if he did know of them he never really tried them.

Teehee~

Breeding. Mr original dick here of course basically created humanity but that was when he was with Eve. Up until he ended up with Lucifer never has Adam been the one to BE bred.

Bro probably would beg for him, holding his ass open while Lucifer fucks him, begging for him to come inside. Doesn't help that Lucifer's cum is hot so every time he comes inside Adam the ex-angel always seems to lose his actual mind.

Brat Taming. In Heaven no one gave him back talk like he probably deserved which is why he was allowed to say such outta pocket shii but with Lucifer let him get snarky... He's gonna get handled.

Marking and impact play. Who would I be to say Adam doesn't like spanking?? He's never done things like these really, spanking, biting, clawing ...etc I can even see him being into his hair being yanked on or being choked.

Size difference. There's just something about the way Lucifer can simply look at Adam and he understands it's time to shut up. Like he wants to push his buttons but Lucifer once pinned him down by the wrists so quickly and hard that the bed broke... (Explaining such a thing to the other hotel guest was damn near impossible because Adam was more willing to lie than tell the truth at first.)

"W-well... we were um... Just wrestling.." - Adam

"yeah, wrestling to get you naked..." - Lucifer

It's like Adam forgets from time to time just how strong Lucifer actually is just because of his height. Everytime he seems to forget that Lucifer always is happy to remind him.

Collars or things like that meant for taking purposes but sometimes when Adam is really comfy you can find him walking around the hotel while wearing his.

Praise and degradation. Do I even need to explain??

RAAAA IM TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT THEM 🙃

[mariaseelie]

A lucilith scene commissioned by bearly_charis as a present ffor @pastelburnish / Bambie_Lesbian on AO3 !!

Please check her beautiful lucilith fanfiction Deja Vu ! I’m currently obsessed with the story !

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54917386/chapters/139208446?view_adult=true

[bloody-peach]

Just a lil idea I thought up. Planning to use it for my upcoming longfic series. Demiromantic Alastor for life, baby. Red text is Alastor, obvs.

The song in question: Annette Hanshaw's "What Wouldn't I Do for That Man" (it's on YouTube, go listen and read along!)

Taglist: @omniuravity @fatgumsurpremacy-remastered @pinkhimecat @moths-and-mantids @neonvehk and other Alastor lovers!

So it's a Friday night, everyone was out partying, but you were staying in your room at the Hazbin Hotel, listening to the radio.

You heard the radio buzz on and you heard Alastor's voice on the radio.

You always loved whenever he came on, you'd listen to the classic tunes he'd play from the 1920s-1930s and you'd relax and let your mind wander.

You hear his voice on the radio, as calm and soothing as ever.

"Good evening, denizens of Hell. I hope you are all enjoying this lovely night. Now I have a special song for all of you lovers and dreamers out there. Annette Hanshaw's 'What Wouldn't I Do for That Man?'. And to that certain someone out there, (you know who you are), this one is for you, my dear."

You didn't hear that last sentence as you let the intro music take your mind to a different place, a place where you were with someone you adored and who adored you just as much, almost like a romance film. You couldn't help but sing along.

"Love was blind to me

Now it's kind to me

Love has opened my eyes

Since it came to me

Life's a game to me

With the sweetest surprise

I never knew how good it was to be

A slave to one who means the world to me"

You stand up, close your eyes and start to dance around the room, your feet moving with the beat and your body swaying to the tune as your voice matched up with the singer's.

"I loved that man from the start

And way down deep in his heart

I know he loves me, Heaven knows why

And when he tells me he can't live without me

What wouldn't I do for that man"

You imagined someone dancing with you, that anonymous stranger in your mind. You could almost feel their hands on you, their arm around your waist.

What you didn't know was....somebody was.

Alastor had let his shadow go through the radio into your room to have a dance with you. It effortlessly guided your steps, avoiding furniture so you can daydream without interruption.

You didn't even notice as you kept dancing and singing.

"He's not an angel or saint

And what's the odds if he ain't

With all his faults I know he'll get by

I'll be so true to him he'll never doubt me

What wouldn't I do for that man"

At the radio station, Alastor's mind was also wandering, wondering what you were up to. He wondered if you could hear the song he chose specifically for you. He hummed along to the tune as he found himself imagining what it would be like to dance with you, to have you in his arms. He could hear your voice singing this very song, a warm and soft voice like the coo of a dove. He smiled to himself, feeling that warm feeling in his chest whenever you came to mind. Usually, he'd be confused by it, but just for this one moment, he would stop fighting and let the feeling flow. For you.

"Oh when he lets me lean my weary head on his shoulder

I close my eyes right there and wish I never grow older"

Back to you, you could smell the faint hint of roses as you continued your dance. It let you sink deeper into your daydream, seeing yourself dancing with the stranger in a rose garden.

"I'll never leave him alone

I'll make his troubles my own

I love that man as nobody can

I'm just no good when his arms are about me

What wouldn't I do for that man

Oh what wouldn't I do for that man"

You felt a hand in your own, an arm around your waist as you swayed to the music. You didn't even notice Alastor's shadow letting you twirl and pulling you into its arms, wrapping them around your waist, your back to its chest. As the dance continued, you continued to sing,

"I'll never leave him alone

I'll make his troubles my own

I love that man better than I do myself

I'm just no good when his arms are about me

What wouldn't do for that man

Oh there's not a thing I wouldn't do for my man"

Just as the song was finished, you could almost feel that stranger's hand delicately hold the back of your head.

Then you felt the sensation of being kissed on the lips in reality, snapping you out of your fantasy, your eyes shooting wide open in surprise.

Then that sensation faded away and you fell onto the antique chaise, your face holding that same stunned expression as you touch your lips.

'What was that...?' You thought to yourself.

Alastor's shadow quickly retreated back to the radio before you could notice. Once it returned to its owner, it received a bonk on the head from Alastor's staff, along with the comment, "Cheeky little thing, aren't you?"

That's all!

[allastoredeer]

Every time I see a wildly OOC fic of Alastor I imagine Vox wrote it. Especially if it involves Radiostatic. XD

LMAO I can just imagine you scrolling through fics and finding a super OOC one and just

Vox thought we wouldn't notice, but we did. What else did you expect from someone with the username FuckAlastor4Life and their blog fuck-alastor-but-not-in-a-sexy-way.horny.com.org.gov.

[katgoesferal]

Commission: Burlesque Angel Dust for @scribbsyscribs

This is for a scene in their fic "At All Cost" : Overlord Husk and Angel slow burn fic 🥰 its sooo good! You guys just gotta check it out!!!

This was a fun piece to challenge myself to drawing backgrounds 😂🫣 I'm so happy how it turned out 😍

Scribbsy is such a sweet person to work with and they are truly wonderful 😊

This scene and the representation that the act had for Angel's character was truly beautiful ❤️

A lot of inspo came from Chappel Roan and various girly bosses 😂

Anyway, shameless plug I'm open to commissions, you can find me here or on twitter ❤️

[mahoganyrust]

Updated Com info <3

Love doing oc/fanart commissions. Anythaanggggg.

[my-dark-lord]

Hello, all! I come to you with an experimental fic commission idea! For now, it's just a small grid to see if there's much interest in it. But I know there are lots of fankid breedable grids, and I got to thinking, why not a grid for ship fics? It sounded like a fun idea for me, so I wanted to go ahead and try it!

RULES:

1. All payments must be made before I start on your fic. Payments can be made through PayPal, Venmo, or CashApp.

2. If you would like to purchase an entire row for a polyship fic, it will still be the standard tier price plus $8 each for a total of $16 extra dollars.. If you purchase A1, B2, or C3, then the fic will center around the character of choice and may not have any other characters in it as main characters.

3. Please see tier list for pricing. My commissions are also open should you want to purchase more words than are allowed here, but it will incur an extra fee of $8 per 100 words.

4. I would prefer not to take commissions outright bashing Valentino. He is my favorite and a comfort character to me, so it would be better if he was not being treated like a one-note monster.

5. I will write smut, angst, fluff, romance, and humor. These are genres I’m very well-versed in.

6. Once a purchase has been discussed, I will send you my commission form for you to fill out.

7. Fanfic examples can be found here. Please feel free to check both pseuds listed! Sunshinecackle is my main, and E-M-P-Error has all of my fics based on my rp blog interactions!

TIER LIST:

A Tier - $52 - 1,000 Words

A Tier is my standard 1k word price. You will not be charged for anything 1,001-1,099 words. A compromise can be worked out if it is a couple of words over strictly for this grid only. If you purchase a polyship fic, it will be $68.

B Tier - $31 - 700 Words

B Tier is my standard 700 word price. You will not be charged for anything 701-799 words. A compromise can be worked out if it is a couple of words over strictly for this grid only. If you purchase a polyship fic, it will be $47.

C Tier - $15 - 500 Words

C Tier is my standard flat 500 word price. You will not be charged for anything 501-599 words. A compromise can be worked out if it is a couple of words over strictly for this grid only. If you purchase a polyship fic, it will be $31.

SLOTS:

A1 - Vox-Centric Fic- Open

A2 - VoxVal Fic- Open

A3 - VoxVel Fic - Open

A4 - Polyship Buyout - Open

B1 - VoxVal Fic- Open

B2 - Valentino-Centric Fic- Open

B3 - ValVel Fic- Open

B4 - Polyship Buyout- Open

C1 - VoxVel Fic- Open

C2 - ValVel Fic- Open

C3 - Velvette-Centric Fic- Open

C4 - Polyship Buyout - Open

All images belong to Vivziepop, Spindlehorse, and A24

Breedable Grid made by Wolveswoodglenadopts of DeviantArt

[awkwardlyoutsidely-doodles]

Glass Smile

Here just a little sample of my writing before, I put out my writing commissions on here, I hope you enjoy this radio Apple.📻🍎

Quack !

Lucifer stared mutely at the red lake that sat in the middle of the park that was in pentagram city , He numbly tossed out seeds into the still water,  landing with a deliciate plunk. Seconds passed before they're was a feeding frenzy of beaks and teeth, gnashing to get to the offering before them.

Lucifer momentarily smiled fondly at the murderous creature, even the ducks, down in the pits of hell could always put a smile on his face, if it was just a moment. 

"What a quaint moment! Royalty coming among the masses!"

Lucifer smile dropped almost instantly,  at the sound of the radio laugh track the pierced the quiet afternoon, he face quickly turned into a grimace.

It was his fault after all he did ask the demon here.

"Your're late.." He said, not responding to the quip, instead reaching into the bag of seeds and throwing another handful into the gaggle,of feather and quacks. 

"Now now your're watch must be wrong your majesty,  I'm never late. " He said with the widening of his sharp tooth smile, he chuckled again at the expression of the shorter face, before adjusting the moncole over his eye, " Beside you seem rather content on you own  who am I to distrub you hmm?"

"Cut the shit."  Lucifer said turning his back on the ducks, that continuned their frenzy with fevor. "Why does everything have to be so goddamn funny to you all the time, with the damn smile! "  He snapped baring his own sharped teeth,eyes flashing red for moment, before the flame quickly fizzling out as soon as it started, he grimaced an turned his back on the demon, "...Forget it, I called you here for a reason."  He rest his elbows on the railing over the lake.

The smile was still plastered on the radio demon face, but his eye did twitch ever so slightly at the uncommon display of anger from the King, but a split second later his head titled in a curious manner. He walked towards the small space between him and the railing, still leaving a modicum of room between himself and the blistering king. He tapped his claws rthymnically on the metal bar, causing Lucifers eye to twitch, not so subtly.

"Down to bussiness." He said between taps, " Why this little chin wag, hmm?" His eye flitted around his surroundings, landing on the pond in front of the them, "Beside the breathtaking veiw, very much much to die for?  " He said lazily smile in the kings direction.

Lucifer wasn't looking at him, he mechaically throughing small hand full of seeds into the rippling pool below him, watching the ducks quack and squawk to get their fill, his lip twitched, before exhaling, the breath he didn't know he held. 

" I like it hear, one of the only places in hell that could be called peaceful." He avoided the question given to him by the other demon, to annoy him?  Maybe. To avoid the little despairing thought in the back of his head? Definitely.

The Radio Demon seemed to exhale as well, through his yellowed jagged smile, but he didn't seem any less perturbed on the outside, nor did he verbally adknowledge the others statement, letting the King of Hell stew in his silences.

Oh and how did Lucifer hated silence.

He bite his lower lip, as the silences torn on between, the other even refrained from tapping his claws against the railing, the ducks quacks seemed far in the distance as well. 

Oh fuck it.

"Here--!!" Lucifer haphazardly shoved another bag of duck feed into Alastor's hand, earning a fleeting moment of surprised in the demons, face his ears, twitching at the close proxismity of the others hand, before looking down at the bugling bag of feed in his unexpectant hand.

The sound of the record scratch was definitely satisfitying to Lucifer seeing it was one of the only indentcations that Alastor was annoyed.

"What do you you expect me to do with this?"

He made eye contact with the other for the first time since his out bursted. He scoffed,  "Well, I thought it was pretty self explaintory, you take out of little bit." He mimic the gestures, spoke as if he was talking to a child, "And through in the pond for the ducks."

Now it was Alastor's turn to bristle at the condesdion tone of the other, he made no move to acutally copy the King, just holding the bag like it was a dead piece of vermin, "Yes yes.." He played a half hearted laugh track,  " Why do you want me  to feed the ducks,  would have been a more pointed question, your Majesty." 

"Uh....." He cleched his jaw,  and looked away again a blush blooming on his alabastor cheeks, "Uhm...Idon'tknow...." He mumbled the ladder half of the sentence.

"Pardon?"

Lucifer growled,  and then  exhaled, "I SAID...because it's fun..!"

Alastor acutally genuinely laugh at that, the tinny noise was much more pleasant then the laugh that always accompanied him,  " Did you ask me hear to feed the ducks with you?" He said between breathless giggles, putting his gloved hand to his chest.

Lucifer pouted turined back to the splashing birds, "Yeah what if I did!?" He retorted red face.

Alastor was about to responded with another mocking remark before, looking over at the royal, he rouged cheeks even more prominent with the flush that had came over his pale face,  blonde hair unkempt and facing over his forehead.

He pursed his lips slightly his every present grin twitching, along with one of his ears, Curious. Perhaps he poke fun at him another time, it didn't have anything to do with his oddly endearing fluster.

Alastor looked down at the bag of feed that remained in his hand, some had spilt out, from his laughing feet but it remained mostly whole and heartly.  Hmm..

He reached in the bag taking a healthly pinch, before lazily through it in the direction of the gaggle of ducks, they reacted instantly, teeth gnashing at each other and the food to get the better morsel. 

Alastor chuckled adjusting his monocle, " Why my, my, such ravenous fellow!"  The bespoken laugh track returning before looking toewards Lucifer once surprised at what he wintnessed.

A smile. Genuined and large the first he probably even seen from the shorter man, strong and hardy, not made of glass to shatter at the slightest nudge.

"Aren't they!" He beamed and vomit of infomation began to spew from his mouth, something Alastor would usually exusse himself to exiting stage left, but for some reason he decided to half heartedly listen while turning to watch the ducks.

Hmm..that smile. He'd like to see it again.

[wisteria-winter]

Pillowstatic, Lucifer's Commission

Inspired by @onesidedradiostatic 's #lucifer's commissions saga

Synopsys: The greatest artisan of hell gets one peculiar commission from one of the Vee’s.

Words: 3636

Started writing this a while back, it’s very much just one for fun. The characters might be a little more domestic, specifically the Vee’s

________________________________

CRASH

The sound of glass shattering spread through the room. Chards glistening on the floor like newly fallen snow. It was an accident. Valentino just lost his grip. It had all just slipped through his hand.

“This is the THIRD TIME! This month.” Vox screeches though his shaded screen. Anger clear, despite the distortions hiding his expressions. “If you keep forgetting the strap one more time, I’m not playing Wii with you guys anymore. Ever!”

“You said that last time too, Vox.” Velvette reminds, focusing more on her phone than whatever the two of them have going on.

“Well, this time I mean it! Do you know how annoying it is to replace my screen?”

“Oh. Don’t be like that Voxy, it was an accident.” Valentino tries, acting as harmless as he can.

“And YOU! I’m not talking to you, AND I’m removing your WiFi privileges until this is all fixed! How do you expect me to hold a conference looking like THIS!?” Vox retorts, pointing at his glitched out screen face, which had a clear indent where the remote had hit.

“Vox! How can you do that, to ME?! How do you expect me to work without WiFi?!” Valentino retorts, thinking only of himself.

“...” Vox isn't impressed.

Not getting a response he starts to work backwards with, “How about I get you something to make up for it? I could draw you a picture. Anything you’d like.” Trying to placate Vox, though he can’t really hide the contempt within, “Even if it’s the radio demon.” He really can’t understand Vox’s obsession with Alastor.

“Hmph. You did that the first time.” Vox has his back turned and arms crossed. He won’t give in that easily, not this time at least.

“How about a pinup? I’m sure it would...” Val gave a sigh, “look nice in your collection.” Dreaded river Styx, why is this the only thing that placates him?

Vox does perk up at the suggestion, but is quick to steady his resolve. “And you got that, the last time.” He says before crossing his arms again in annoyance. “And they forgot his antlers.” Like, how could they have forgotten his antlers? Did they not even look at the reference pictures? He- uhh- Sent a lot.

“Fine.” There is one thing that Vox doesn’t have, or rather, doesn’t have anymore, and he has been bugging them about it for quite some time. Valantino gives in and sighs, “What about a new body pillow?” he asks in the most monotone manner.

“Really!” Vox excitedly exclaims, uncrossing his arms and turning his face towards Val with glee, before realizing what he just did and going back to being stoic. “Yeah, I think that would suffice.” Though, glee and excitement are still present in his voice. Valentino gives the little dork a smile, despite how weird the circumstances might feel.

“Good. Then I’ll send the request to our merch department and see what they can do.” Valentino takes out his phone and starts writing something while mumbling under his breath that, “It shouldn’t be too hard to change an Angel picture to an Alastor one.” He then turns to Vox and asks, “What kind of-”

“I heard that! I’m not letting you create some sloppy half finished, inferior, mass-produced pillow. I want it to be an authentic, one-of-a-kind, high quality pillow that won’t rip at the seams and smells just like him.” Vox sounds exceedingly stern, why does the pillow mean so much towards him?

“Vox.”

“Okay, it doesn’t have to smell like him. But it has to be really good quality. There has to be an artisan that can make the best pillow in hell, right? Get that person.”

“Vox. What are you on about? What do you want me to do? Spend 50k just so you can get a nice body pillow of Alastor?” He says in disbelief. There is no way-

“Yes, exactly that.” He looks towards Valentino as smug as he can with his broken face. “Or else, no WiFi.”

“Ugh, fine. Do you want to commission them for the image too?” Val says with a dead tone, he has given up, given in, no use in fighting this stubborn brat when it concerns Alastor.

“Of course, it has to be special. Also, make sure that they don’t forget his antlers, and tell them that his hoofs are red and that the red claws are not gloves, but claws, just like mine and that his arms and legs start black at the tip then gradually melt into his skin. Oh! and don’t forget-” Vox rambles on, seemingly lost in thought.

Valentino just looks at him disapprovingly, wondering in a long whisper ‘w~h~y~?’. In essence, Val isn’t really looking forward to the coming conversation with the ‘best artisan in hell’, whoever that might be.

________________

Lucifer gets a phone notification. Ignoring everything in his surroundings, he takes his phone out and looks at whatever it may be. Huh.

“And here I thought you cared for dear Charlie's exercises.” Alastor says also ignoring the exercise and taking more interest in what Lucifer may be up to.

________________

A few moments before.

Charlie has assembled everyone for some team building exercises. There are some colorful balloons bouncing softly around her on the floor. The plan is to have a few exercises where everyone is in pairs. For the first part, the goal is to keep one balloon in the air for as long as possible, but you can’t touch it more than twice in a row.

“So then, Angel, who do you want to team up with?” Charlie asks, happy as always, making sure that their, now only, actually resident is comfortable playing.

“I’d like to go with Husk if that works.” Angel says.

“Yes! Sounds perfect! Husk?” Charlie responds, delighted over him showing engagement. This might actually be a really progressive day.

“Yeah, sure, works.” Husk agreed.

“Now then, Alastor?” Charlie then moves her attention to their one and only hotel manager. It would be nice if he participated more.

“I'd rather stay out of this one, wouldn’t want to accidentally pop one of your lovely balloons and ruin your diligent work.” He responds cleanly.

“You don’t have to worry about that, I have many more!” She says before stopping herself. “But I understand.” He’s already doing so much it doesn’t feel right to pressure him.

“Thank you dear.”

“Then Vaggie, does teaming up with Niffty work for you?”

“Yeah, but what about you?”

“Oh! Well, if Alastor won’t participate then we’ll have an uneven number of participants if I join, which wouldn’t work as-”

“I understand, it's alright, I’ll go with Niffty.” Vaggie gives her a soft smile, to which Charlie’s shines even brighter.

They all team up and get their balloons, though before they can start; Lucifer walks in and wonders what they are up to. He also positions himself between Alastor and Charlie as a small attempt to shield her from the sketchy and untrustworthy sinner.

“Dad, how about you join in?”

“I, sure, sounds like fun.” He answers, thinking he’d team up with Charlie for some father daughter bonding.

“Great! How about you team up with Alastor?”

“No.” They both respond in unison.

“Aww, come on. You two are always bickering, this could be a great opportunity to help you create some enjoyable memories,” Charlie says, wishing for everyone to be on friendly terms. “And it would mean a lot to me if you two were able to get along.” She ends, giving her dad some puppy dog eyes.

“Charlie...” Lucifer starts, not fully knowing what to say, before being interrupted by Alastor.

“Well, if it means so much for you dear, then I guess there is no choice than for me to join in the fun.” He says focusing on Charlie while approaching. “Though I guess that if the big boss himself doesn’t want to join, then I guess I’ll have to team up with you my dear.” He continues with a mischievous smile as he rests his arm on Lucifer like he’s a table.

“NO!” Lucifer retorts loudly, pushing Alastor off and away from him, letting the sinner fall to the floor, before composing himself. “I mean- I’ll join. I’d do anything for my sweet Char Char.” He tries to look at her softly, showing how much he cares. Though his expression quickly turns sour, seeing how she’s moved to Alastor’s side, helping him get up. Why does she care so much? Especially over a sinner who is clearly only bad news.

After helping Alastor up, she turns towards Lucifer. “Dad! This is exactly why we need the bonding exercises, what if you hurt Alastor?”

‘Why would I care about that?’ Lucifer thinks before answering absentmindedly. “He’ll survive, I didn’t even push that hard.”

Charlie just gives him a disapproving look.

“I told you I’d join.” He says defensively, why did it feel like she thought he was in the wrong?

“So, how are we to start, dear?” Alastor asks Charlie sweetly, ignoring Lucifer before turning to him with a gloating smile, making Lucifer's blood boil. In contrast, Charlie brightens up and goes into her presentation mode, restating the rules so that Lucifer hears them as well, and then proceeds to give each pair their own balloon.

It starts off quite well, though Alastor does accidentally pop some balloons with his sharp claws. Resulting in him and Lucifer electing to use their canes instead. To Charlie’s delight, everyone seems to be enjoying the exercise. It’s working!

Then a notification can be heard. Lucifer loses any focus he had on the exercise and takes out his phone, ignoring the balloon slowly descending beside him.

“And here I thought you cared for dear Charlie's exercises.” Alastor utters as the balloon hits the floor. He also moves closer to get a look at what Lucifer might be up to.

Lucifer, taking note of Alastor’s approach, makes sure to hide his phone from the demon’s view before reading what it says. -

 Hey, Luci! You just got an... interesting(?) order, They’re willing to pay 50k for you to make an image of an Alastor and put that image on a body pillow, a very high quality body pillow btw, where super adamant about that Also, got a bunch of reference photos, so you don’t have to worry about not knowing who this Alastor is I’ll send them over soon I got a bunch of notes they wanted you to follow and they are like, super specific and detailed, but like, whatever right?  Anyway I’ll send them too,  Or do you want to come and pick it all up?  (it’s a lot to send)

- And it said a lot, he had to re-read it a few times just to get a grasp of what it was about. Someone was willing to pay him 50k for an Alastor pillow?! 50k! Do they want him to use angelic wings as filling? Do they want him to embroider the image? Maybe? Yeah, sure. He can do that. Though that still leaves the big question of, WHY ALASTOR?! Ugh, Luci was not looking forward to having to spend so much time having to deal with seeing images of that one. -

Thanks Crymini. I can come and pick it all later today Did they want anything else or just the pillow with the costume image?

-

Think that was all, he seemed pretty irritated when he came in though So, maybe add some extra stuff to keep em happy? (If you want) (He did mumbled something about it having to smell like this Alastor dude, but it’s not really in the request, so think you can ignore that)

- ‘Yeah, sure’ Lucifer tries to write for some moments, before giving up and leaving his only employee on read. He’s going to meet her later anyway.

“So, what does the little picture box say?” Alastor interrupts.

Lucifer turns towards him, started by the closeness of the demon, Lucifer screams, drawing everyone’s attention. “Nothing.” He says as he scrambles away, getting some distance. It would be the end of him if Alastor knew any of this. Lucifer quickly composes himself.

“Dad? What happened?” Charlie asks calmly, approaching them.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing, though I find it quite sad that he’d place more importance on a supposed phone than the exercises you’ve worked so hard on dear. Quite a pity indeed.” Alastor responds.

She gave him a humoring smile then turned towards her actual dad to ask more directly. “What did she say?” Only considering the possibility that the only one who’d contact her dad, would be her mom.

“What?” Slightly panicking and wondering how Charlie figured him out. “Oh, nothing, just a few things, nothing important. Anyway, how about the next exercise, what do you have planned sweetie?” He tries to play off.

Charlie looks at him a bit confused but decides to leave it be and lets the focus shift towards the next exercise, as suggested. All while Alastor looks at the king with utmost suspicion, wondering what Lilith might have said that was so important to hide.

________________

Lucifer walks into the empty little shop and is greeted by his one employee. They converse a little and he grabs all of the images and the long list of requirements that were basically telling him to be as accurate as possible. ‘Huh? Alastor has hooves,’ he thinks while ignoring the disturbing amount of artistic rendition of how they look.

Opening a portal back into his room with everything, he starts to look through everything, putting all the images all over his room so that he can get a better overview of it all. When done he starts his creative process, drawing up some initial drafts. Though the more he draws the more he realizes that it’s going to take quite a while for this all to become perfect.

________________

At the end of the week his garbage can is full, Alastor pictures are all around and no real progress has been made. He needs a break, a breather.

After a while of just meandering around the hotel he hears some sounds from the kitchen, one of them sounding to belong to Charlie, so he makes his way there. Arriving he sees them all having fun, walking closer, he notes that they are mostly looking in books. Why read in the kitchen?

“Ah, your majesty, and to what do we owe the pleasure of your presence?” Alastor asks, delighted, catching the devil off guard.

“Just wanted to check out the ruckus in MY kitchen.” Lucifer straightens his suit, ignoring Alastor and focuses on what Charlie might be up to, meeting her gaze. She gives him a quick awkward smile, before her attention drifts elsewhere. Thinking nothing of it, he approaches her. “So, Charlie, is this another one of your redemption exercises?” He asks with cheer and a smile.

“Kinda, it was Alastor’s idea though.” Ugh. "Isn't it great? What’s a better way to show appreciation than making something together?” Her glee and delight is so radiating, he finds it hard not to smile, as she continues her explanation.

“We are working on making a full course meal, Angel and Husk are in charge of the appetizer, Niffty and I are working on the main meal and Vaggie is in charge of the desert, while Alastor is supervising, giving us pointers. Oh! How about you join in too? You could help Vaggie with dessert! How about it?”

“Sure.” He agrees, for how can he say no to that face?

________________

“So Vaggie, what are we making?” He asks approaching Vaggie who seems to be looking through a book.

“I don’t really know, was thinking maybe an apple pie?” She answers, fully engrossed in the book.

Apples! His favorite! “Sounds great! What do we need?” Lucifer asks, taking the book away from Vaggie to read what it may say, instructions. Ooh, that makes sense.

Before he can read much, she takes it back and turns to the radio demon.

“Alastor! I need like 6 apples, some sweet almonds, butter, sugar and 2 eggs. Also, a pie form and some whipping cream.” She calls out. Alastor turns and gives her the same smile he always holds before snapping his fingers, summoning the items along with some tools for assistance.

Lucifer takes one of the apples, it’s bright green, and scoffs, “You call this an apple?” He says giving Alastor a most judgmental look. Then transforms the green misfit into a lovely red apple. “There, better.” Smiling at his own accomplishment and the slight annoyance that passed over Alastor. Ha!

Lucifer finds himself actually enjoying working with Vaggie, she’s a good girl, and despite the annoyance that is Alastor he can’t deny that it wasn’t too bad of an idea. Though he’d never inform anyone of that.

The final meal was also nice, and to Lucifer's delight, Alastor was acting as the busboy. He had set the table and explained each dish, letting his shadows bring the plates to each person. The only part of agitation was how clear it was that Charlie appreciated it too, winning her over even more.

________________

After the meal Lucifer decides to go back to his room but is interrupted by Charlie in the hall.

“Dad?” She starts carefully.

“Yes?” He stopped in his step, turned to her and tried to give her all his attention.

“How do you like living here?”

“It’s nice to always be close to you.”

“Un huh, and what do you think of everyone else? Vaggie, Angel,” She pauses shortly, “Alastor?”

“Vaggie is a very nice and strong girl. Angel is showing progress, I think. As for that Alastor, I doubt he’s ever going to be able to leave hell.”

“Do you want him to stay in hell?”

“He doesn’t deserve anything else but hell.” He says bluntly, starting to get in a bad mood having to be reminded of that guy.

“Right...” Charlie starts, looking at the ground having a hard time figuring out what to ask next.

“Honestly Charlie, I don’t understand why you keep him around. He’s not going to get redeemed and anything he can do I can do better, so just, depend on me more, I’m always here for you.” Lucifer slightly vents.

“Thank you, dad, but Alastor is still a big part of the hotel, and his idea today was really nice, wasn’t it? You and Vaggie looked like you were getting along really well.”

“I guess that’s true.” As much as he hated to admit it, he did have a nice time.

There was a little awkward pause, before Charlie spoke.

“So, umm, thanks for the talk dad and if you ever need any help then you can always talk to me. I’m here for you too, dad.”

She gives another pause, before steading her resolve “Even if it’s something like you’ve moved on from mom, I’ll understand, okay?” She gives him a somewhat sorrowful smile, clearly trying to stay strong.

“Oh no, I still love your mom, we’re just, having a bit of alone time is all.” He doesn’t really like talking about what happened, but there is a reason he still wears the ring.

“Okay dad, thanks.” She looks back to the way she came. “I think it’s time for me to go back to the others.” She says, trying to give Lucifer the choice of joining back.

“Okay, have fun.” He says, moving towards his room.

________________

His head is only filed with Charlie and to a lesser degree, the conversation. All until he opens the door towards his room and is hit by his reality. His room is plastered with Alastor pictures.

Oh.

Oh no.

A cold fear fills him, what if Charlie saw all of this?

And a thought tells him, she already has.

________________

He teleports back to the lobby, where they had all seemingly gathered after doing the dishes without him. Locates Charlie and bolts in her direction. Grabbing both her arms he looks her straight in the eyes.

“I do NOT like Alastor.” He proclaims with vigor. He can’t handle the thought that she might think otherwise.

“Yeah, we know.” Angel comments, directing their focus his way.

“No- I-” Lucifer looks back at Charlie and tells in a whisper for only her to hear. “I don’t like him like I like your mom.”

“Oh! What a relief, I don’t think Alastor would ever like you either.” Wait, what?

“Why not?” He says out of reflex, short and snappy, almost a little offended that there would be one who wouldn’t even consider the possibility of him. Not that he’d ever fall that low, but a peasant should always worship the king. Should they not?

“Because you’re an insolent fool who can’t even clean up after yourself!” Alastor injects with disdain, having been sitting in the armchair behind them during the whole ordeal. He then stands up and walks towards the two. Positioning himself by Charlie's side he takes his staff and points it at Lucifer's chest.

“And why are you here? I thought you said you were busy, hmm?” He continues.

“I am busy, just had to- wanted to make sure that Charlie was doing fine. Can’t be sure about that when you’re around.” Lucifer responds, as if he has the higher ground.

“You should have more faith in her, Charlie is a very capable person.” Alastor gives a short glance towards her, “I for one believe that she can accomplish anything as long as she puts her mind to it. Sad to hear you don’t feel the same.”

“I didn’t-”

“Now dear, you were discussing plans for tomorrow?” Alastor directs all of his focus on Charlie, fully ignoring Lucifer, except for a smug smile he quickly shoots his way.

________________________________

Hope it was a fun read ᵔᵜᵔ

Also, the idea with Crymini was something like, Lucifer is trying to connect with the rest of hell, but still doesn't really want to interact much with them. So he chose to create a shop of sort and found a random sinner to help him in exhange for a nice salary

[nyadere]

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