#Haywire 1

[snezario]

Sub-Optimal; Ala/stor & Vo/x

based from an idea that @sneezingfetishftw posted. I kind of want to expand on that beginning part with a prequel ficlet of Alastor being sick but idk if I'll actually get around to it... I think this is the longest one-shot I've ever written... somehow this turned out to be 1.7k words?

Alastor leans against the headboard of his bed and takes a sip from his mug, grimacing as the hot liquid travels down his throat. Coffee was probably not the best choice right now. The warmth of it was nice against his sore throat. Of course that wasn’t the only unfortunate telltale symptom of illness he had awoken with a couple days ago.

He had been pretty good at hiding the whole illness thing under wraps for the first half of the day, that is until he had to sneeze. Usually he was good at stifling them into oblivion, but this particular cold seemed hellbent on disrupting his ability to control his faculties. The first unstifled sneeze caused all the lights in the hotel to flicker, which wouldn’t have caught much of anyone else’s attention. It was the second, third, and fourth ones that well, almost destroyed it.

It was after that whole fiasco that he was banished to quarantine in his room because according to Vaggie Who the fuck knows what other chaos his sickness will wreak havoc on the hotel? Normally he’d be holed up in his radio tower, but his quarters within the hotel are not half bad. Hence, him still being in bed to begin with. A sharp prickle in his nose reminds him how miserable being sick makes one feel.

hih'ZZSSHHhue!

He tries to keep it contained, lest he face Vaggie’s wrath. Not that she’s much of a threat to him really. As Alastor recovers, he’s interrupted by a loud BANG! His bedroom door swings open to reveal Vox standing dead center in the door frame. Alastor rolls his eyes at the other Overlord.

“Do you mind?”

Vox ignores Alastor’s question and breezes past the threshold, plopping himself on a red armchair by the fireplace. 

“I was just passing through the area and a little birdy told me you were feeling a bit… under the weather.” He scrolls on his phone as he speaks, although the wide grin on his screen makes it obvious how much he’s relishing this moment. Alastor narrows his eyes, an unlikely story— Vox would never pass up the chance to taunt him, especially in a case like this.

“Well, I’m not quite on my deathbed as you can see. I didn’t realize that you missed little old me so much that you just had to come by and visit. It is flattering that you stopped by, in any case.”

Despite how awful he’s feeling, Alastor flashes Vox a cheeky grin, knowing full well just how to push the other demon’s buttons. The entertainment value of seeing Vox absolutely lose his cool is almost limitless. Although the pesky tickle is urgently becoming more than a mere annoyance. Alastor would much rather listen to Pentious’s Egg Bois spew nonsense to him for hours on end than be seen like this. Vulnerable and weak, in front of Vox no less. But it’s not something he can avoid at the moment.

Vox wasn’t someone who shied away from physical contact. He never denied himself the opportunity to encroach on someone’s personal space when he saw fit, it was mostly a tactic he employed to assert dominance or to emphasize a point. Or in this case, threaten his rival. Leaping off the chair, he’s in the radio demon’s face in a heartbeat, clenching the collar of Alastor’s pajamas in his hand.

“You arrogant prick, you think that I give a flying FUCK where you’ve been—”

Vox pauses when Alastor inhales sharply, no doubt to make a scathing retort. The radio demon raises a fist to his face and angles himself away from the other Overlord.

hhzh—hhh’ZTCHhiew! hih! ihĨ̴̢̛̘̠̪͍̠̣̪̪͗͒̓̃̎̀̓̕͜Z̵̪̝̱̪̘̺̣̗̘��Z̷̡̜͔̱͖͉̰̭̽̽̎̆̿̉͝͝T̴̨̧̼̫̜̤͈̖̬͈̈́̄̒̓̾̀̎͠͝S̷̨̱̭͚̬̻̬͐̑̐̏͆͝ͅḨ̵̣͍͈͙͈̝̜͑̓͋̉͊͛̀̑̚H̵̤̯͔̱̓̎̈͘̚̕uu!

The space around them crackles with Eldritch energy, tendrils of which encompass the room. Vox’s screen glitches and completely shuts off.

“What the actual fuck?” The lights flicker back on and Vox’s screen illuminates again. He gives in to a full body shudder (not of his own accord though) as the static shock between them fizzles out. He jumps back from Alastor, his eye spiraling intensely. Alastor sniffles into a plain cloth handkerchief.

“Oh dear, pardon me. I’m not quite in control of my faculties at the moment.”

“I hope you fucking choke on your own mucus,” Vox snarls at him before storming out of Alastor’s room.

It’s humiliating but because the hotel has Alastor as its facilities manager, there is very little modern technology at Vox’s disposal. Meaning, he has to walk… out the front door like a common sinner. The hotel is located quite a bit away from the main hubbub of Pentagram City, which is both a blessing and a curse, depending on who you talk to. Vox makes his way to the edge of the city, a chaotic and desolate area and at the first sight of a screen (an old television set sitting in the window of a dilapidated pawn shop), he transforms into electricity and travels back to the Vees’ penthouse.

What kind of weird voodoo magic did the smiling freak do to me? Vox sits alone in his penthouse suite, glaring at nothing in particular as his eye dilates as he fumes about the outcome of his interaction with Alastor. One day, that pompous bastard would find something more than coffee in that stupid mug of his.

He idly rubs a hand down his screen as a fleeting fuzzy sensation runs through the circuitry in his head, almost like an itch he can’t quite reach. He proceeds to take a long sip from his mug, the coffee in it is only lukewarm but it’s the caffeine boost he wants anyways. Vox is feeling more drained from engaging with Alastor than he thought. It’s not entirely out of the question, but it does surprise him a little. Nothing a little caffeine wouldn’t fix. He downs the rest of the drink and settles into the sofa, turning the plasma screen television screen across from him on with a simple thought. The ambient sound immediately soothes him and the incident with Alastor floats into his memory archives to be forgotten.

An hour passes and Vox is sleepily scrolling on his phone. He could nod off right there. That is until a buzzing in his head catches his attention. It almost feels like tiny feathers caressing his internal wiring, not so much caressing as tickling. Similar to before, he can’t seem to reach it and quell the sensation. But unlike before, it’s not just a momentary annoyance. His deliberation is interrupted when his breath hitches once, then twice before he pitches forward.

“ih…ih'DZZSHHH!”

He blinks in confusion. That’s it? He just had to fucking sneeze? Again, he finds his thoughts disrupted by a familiar sensation. Vox tries to rub the tickle away but given his… specifications he realizes he doesn’t even have a nose to—eh'TZZSSHIEW! hih’IZZSHuhh!

What the fuck is happening? He sniffles. Ugh, gross. 

Between the sneezing, the developing tension headache, and the exhaustion it feels like—Vox’s screen lights up as it dawns on him. He fucking has Alastor’s cold. That motherfucker. His blood pressure skyrockets and sparks shoot off his frame, threatening to short out the electronics in the room (of which there are many). Before he knows it, he’s already electro-teleporting across the pentagram to confront the radio demon.

“ALASTOR, you pretentious manipulative fucking son-of-a—”

Although Alastor can’t determine the actual content of Vox’s plethora of insults and cursing, they do steadily increase volume as he approaches Alastor’s room.

“Hmm?” Alastor turns his head as Vox barges into his room for the second time that day. He is sitting in one of the red armchairs by the fireplace, with a book in his grasp. He wears his deceptively inviting smile as always, although it is slightly dulled down by his current illness. Vox breathing is heavy and ragged, his rage undeterred by Alastor’s placid expression actually seems to intensify as he stands face-to-face from his rival.

“YOU… you did this to me!” He jabs a finger in the radio demon’s face, mere centimeters away from stabbing him in the eye. Alastor calmly pushes Vox’s hand down.

“Careful now, unless you want to cause another city-wide blackout.” Alastor teasingly reminds him of their previous on-air encounter.

“Whatever stunt you phhhulled this m-morhhn—” Vox’s voice falters, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He sharply turns away as he succumbs to the persistent itch.

“hh—hHEHh’IZZSH! Fuh—hih…h’KSHHHIiiue! ih’Z̷͖̥̩͕͒́ͅZ̷̩̲̯̠̺̘̟̆̕T̴̛͔͆̒͌̄̚͘Ć̷̘̒̌͐͝͠H̶̥̦͖̰͙͙͙̩̠̋͛ͅH̶͍͕̪̙̦͎́́̋͝uu! ”

The lights pulsate with each sneeze from the television demon. Vox groans, leaning against the wall. That last one hurt like a bitch. 

“Oho! I see the problem. Apologies, old pal. Snf! I thought someone so advanced as yourself would be immune to such trivialities.” Despite his flippant tone, Alastor is genuinely surprised. He wasn’t actually certain the static shock would have affected Vox when he did it. He is, however, quite entertained by the development.

Before Vox can respond, Vaggie throws the bedroom door open.

“Alastor, what the fuck are you even doing? I thought we told you to—” The ex-exorcist jabs her spear in his direction and is about to go off on him when she notices Vox is slumped against the wall. Spinning her spear, she redirects the point towards him. “What’s he doing here?”

“Oh him? He’s no threat, at least not in his current condition,” Alastor makes a dismissive motion with his hand, a mischievous smile on his lips. Vaggie scowls at him, her hands crossed over her chest. Her gaze flits between Alastor and Vox.

“What did you do—Actually, wait I don’t want to know. Just… stop fucking with the lights.” She swiftly turns around and shuts the door behind her. Still smiling, Alastor turns his attention towards Vox, who’s looking quite pathetic. Well, more so than usual.

“You hear that, my dear Vox? Get a hold of yourself. Now if you’ll exhhcuse me I hh-have— (dang it, now it’s his turn) hh’iZTSHHuu! eh’D̴͚̼̊̂̒Z̵̳̥̈́̀̐͊̃̊̄͘̚Z̵̻͓̖̪̤͊͒̄̓͗́̂͑͜͝͝S̵̼̖͌̔̚HHHiew!” Unfortunate timing, but can’t be helped, Alastor thinks. He scrubs a finger under his nose and proceeds to pore over his book.

Vox narrows his eyes, adjusts his bowtie, and stands up. Vox glares daggers at Alastor, who appears to be ignoring him now. As he heads to the door, he feels an unfortunately familiar prickle at the back of his screen. NO! Not aga— heh’DZZSHHuh! Fuck. He catches Alastor smirking in his periphery.

“Gesundheit!” The radio demon calls out after Vox’s retreating figure.

[battampria]

BOYPRINCESS AND GIRLPRINCE ICONS

STOP THIS WAS THE QUICKEST IVE DONE SOMETHING.. there are too many ppl i like who would fit this (both headcanon and love wise) but i gotta limit myself 💔 added rin penrose here because shes literally a girlprince LOLL

flags by @theadorableundead! the flags are linked here.

f2u w/ credit

[munchboxart]

It's midnight so I'm gonna ramble again but about animation/cartoons as a whole included with my lack of knowledge about the industry

A few weeks ago, I remember watching some video about Cartoon Network or something and the guy doing the essay mentioned something like "With the rise of streaming and online as a whole, there is a loss of connection with parents and their kids because back then, you could watch the same cartoon with your kids and recognize who that is". They absolutely did not say those exact words but something along the lines of it, and it's stuck to me for days because it's true! Like I don't think kids nowadays have that kind of connection other than theatrical kids movies, which sucks I think moments like these are precious to have.

Another thing is that I think people kind of underestimate how popular cartoon/2d/3d shows are with adults? Especially young adults because the people who grew up with like, 1990s-2010s shows are probably mostly grown adults now. Probably the best recent example of this is Adventure time and how (I think) big Fionna and Cake is. Like I could go on Twitter and be spoiled hell and back on the newest episodes LOL. How about Owl House and Infinity Train? Bluuey too?? I don't know, but with the writers strike and how swept under the rug animation is, especially on streaming, it just kind of sucks where the current state of animation is right now for everyone as a whole

[peachiicherries]

Williams if you fuck Logan’s pit when he stops I will come find you I swear to god

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 1: Tame from Vermin Haywired

[southern--downpour]

the more and more i use my film camera the more i hate my current dslr. who the hell at kodak thought itd be a good idea to make a camera without a detachable lens and also zero manual focus and also hide every camera setting in impossible to navigate menus. im going to kill you

[quodekash]

WAIT A SEC

HOLD TF UP

THIS IS AKK’S ENTIRE CHARACTER, EXPLAINED RIGHT THEN AND THERE, IN THE FIRST FREAKING EPISODE

he’s so certain that following the rules is equal to your worth, that only by doing everything as you are instructed can you be deemed a “good student”. and he wants to deserve to be in the school. he got a scholarship, he was chosen as a prefect, and its all because he follows the rules. so he’s sure that if he doesn’t follow those rules, then he doesn’t deserve any of the things he’s been given, and he doesn’t deserve to be in the school, he doesn’t deserve to be given opportunities. he probably doesn’t even think he’s worthy of love if he doesn’t follow the rules. (this isn’t true ofc, this is just what im pretty sure are akk’s thoughts)

and it’s kinda glossed over in parts (either that or I just wasn’t paying attention), but I think I’m akk’s mind, one of the rules of life is you either have to be straight or you have to not be in a relationship at all. he tells himself that he doesn’t want/need a relationship because he’s “at school to study”, he’s there to follow the rules and be a good kid and never do anything out of line. but he doesn’t think it’s out of line for other students to date. he just thinks it is for himself to date, probably because he hasn’t yet confronted with himself that he doesn’t want to be with a woman, but he can’t let himself be with a man, because that’s against some kind of subconscious rule that he has. “don’t be on your phones at school, don’t cause trouble, don’t hurt others, don’t use the teacher’s bathrooms, don’t be gay, always wear the uniform correctly and perfectly”

so he plays it off as “I just don’t want a relationship rn” but really it goes so much deeper than that, and I think he knows that but isn’t ready to confront it. his thoughts and feelings are so conflicted and complicated, and if he can’t figure it out, then he isn’t worthy of love, but if he ever does figure it out and end up with a man, he isn’t worthy of love because that’s against the rules (again, his thoughts not mine)

his thoughts that it’s imperative for him to follow the rules to be worthy or deserving of anything at all are the driving force for every single thing he does. “if you can’t follow the rules, you don’t deserve to be in this school” translates to “If you cant follow the rules, you don’t deserve a good education” to “you aren’t worthy” to “you are worthless” to “everything you do is wrong”.

and also I think him faking the curse was him trying to exercise some form of control? so that he could be in command of something in his life, and not in constant confusion and conflict and worry and uncertainty. if he truly believes that if you can’t follow the rules you don’t deserve to be in this school and therefore deserve to be punished, then he’ll see kids misbehaving, and he’ll want to be cause of that punishment, to reinforce and validate his belief that he HAS to follow the rules or he’ll be punished similarly, but also to feel like something is finally going how he wants it to

or maybe im reading too far into one line in the first episode where he’s just talking to a kid using his phone in school. idk.

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

And now that I've studied Spanish for 3 hours with my brother and my brain is all but goo at this point, off to my dead boy detectives rewatch I go <3

[biohazrd]

guess who has c0vid again!!!!!!!!!

[loveedwardlevaincois]

My Hexorcism Collection

This is part 1 because I can't fit everything here. Hope you like them~

[baeshijima]

beauty and the beast au-slash-concept but its with neuvillette........ on the same line royalty au with neuvillette..........

[jellyloveru]

kinda don't like new scenarios when i don't do anything for any of them...

[starrysea666]

[novastrae]

GOOD MORNING EVERYPONY MEOWHAITHAM HAS ARRIVED

[ticketmastersince2k4]

TBT 2023: Marvel's Avengers & Haywire

Welcome backward, Ticketholders!

This is going to be a very special Throwback Thursday for me because I'm pushing a review from the first birthday I celebrated in Soap Lake, WA. Ever since the first Spider-Man in 2002, I had made it a tradition to watch a Marvel movie in theaters on my birthday. But not only was this the first time I had honored the tradition since moving out of California, it was the movie that solidified the MCU in pop-culture history. The concession area was standing-room-only, the theater was packed, and (almost) everyone was dressed like our small town was hosting Comic Con. Even the ticket booth guy was wearing one of those pillowy muscle jackets that looked like an Iron Man suit. And watching that movie on the big screen made me feel at least ten years younger (at the time). Some of my language and 2.5D crushing (Colin Jost is the luckiest man alive) on Black Widow haven't aged well, but I feel like I otherwise did the art of film criticism justice when it came to the coolest superhero movie I had ever seen.

The lead-off to this double-feature review is, of course, Haywire, one of the first action movies to have a female MMA fighter in the lead role. It's formulaic, averagely acted, and competently choreographed. Give it a watch.

And enjoy the reviews!

[amu-says-hav-says]

I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled. 

I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1.  the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “...You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside. 

Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY