#Having some coworkers I want to be friends with is dope

[seulira]

Literally drooling thinking about the chinese food buffet I'm going to on Monday. Yes, I have to face the task of Groceries. But I get a treat first.

[magpod-confessions]

I know sexism in fandom is a thing, but I mostly encounter a lot of very vocal love and positivity for female tma characters (not to say that's the case in all forums ofc). Which is good, obviously.

Basira, Georgie and Melanie are important characters, but they all come along later and honestly throughout a lot of Canon kinda feel like an anti-jon wall. If you happen to be a fan who doesn't vibe with that sentiment, its less appealing to engage with a big portion of the female characters. It's not wrong or right to find yourself empathising more with Georgie or Martin etc etc, none of thecharacters are all good or bad so it's personal how a listener is gonna feel. But to me it sort of unfortunately feels like, since the (majority of significant) women are kind of aligned in one group, youre more likely to either into all of them or none of them. I hope that makes sense? Like I'm very much not coming after anyone.

Also some other thoughts on sexism: sasha has less time, less backstory, and is less developed than say Tim. So she has less content. Someone saying "if you do an ao3 search for fics that include sasha but not Tim, there isn't many, so sexism!" doesnt make much sense to me. The workplace is the only context we have for sasha, and Tim is her coworker and friend. A fanfic featuring sasha but NOT Tim (or any other magnus staff!) would have to create a lot of backstory wholecloth, and not everyone wants to do that. I love her in fanon, but we gotta acknowledge it really mostly is fanon.

As for Helen vs Michael. Michael's backstory is more developed, he was played and manipulated, its pretty damn tragic. Helen is dope! But if you want that flavour of angst and tragedy, Michael has more to work with.

I think it comes down to the type of fan you are and what you prefer to engage with! I suspect jonny has tried to make this less of a factor in tmagp and is focusing on giving more background to female characters from the start. Not trying to insinuate anything shitty abt him either.

.

[its-tickety-booo]

Ep 15 with Jason not so in nutshell

We start the episode with a conversation with our friends about hobbies. Everyone talks about what they do in their free time. Su can choose three options, the one with martial arts appealed to me the most, because Su has zero reflexes, she's simply the last person who would be good at anything. We find out that there's a swimming competition this weekend, in which Roy is taking part. Together with our friends we decide to come and support him. Then we go back to work, then we go home where we decide to return to our old hobby, which we mentioned earlier. In the morning we go to change into our new outfits and take a bus to the pool where the competition is held. We wait for our friends and go in to take our seats in the stands as cute cheerleaders. The swimmers show up at the pool. But then, something amazing happend. No one expected the Spanish Inquisition! In fact, everyone expected it. Jason shows up, replacing some dude. Our coworkers stomp their feet in anger, bang each other on the head, and all Su wants to do is bang Jason in bed. That's what I think lol. The competition finally begins. It turns out that Roy won! Everyone cheers...! Until it turns out that Roy was disqualified for doping. Immediately, all the friends assume that it was Jason's fault. Su enters the locker room with the intention of searching his locker for evidence of his guilt. Jason looks at her like she's an idiot and lets her search the locker, in the meantime eating eggs. Su finds only more eggs, his everyday basic clothes and rings. Jason laughs at her and suggests that maybe he is responsible for this after all. The girl gets angry and goes back to her friends, but decides to go back to Jason and yell at him and convince him to admit guilt. JJ laughs at her again, and she leaves. When he comes back, we learn from the conversation of the friends that Roy probably unknowingly used doping himself - the previous evening while watching TV he drank 10 energy drinks, which could have affected the test results. Everyone is shocked that he behaved like an idiot, but you know, the power of friendship and such, we forget about everything. Roy reports his suspicions to the judges, Jason approaches Su and says that she should congratulate him and apologize. The girl doesn't want to do that, so Jason suggests that instead, the girl should present his gold medal at the ceremony. Su reluctantly agrees, the friends watch the situation from the stands with a pikachu face. The girl gives Jason the gold medal and he whispers to her that she should kiss him because it won't count. She rolls her eyes and kisses him on the cheek. Thomas almost has a heart attack in the stands, finally someone reacts to Su's specific behavior towards Jason. Thomas knows that he can get out of the Matrix. Good boy. We get illustrations of Jason, on which he looks like a wolf filter from Tik Tok, probably Animals by Maroon 5 is playing in the background. After everything, we go to dinner with friends, we arrange to meet one of them for the evening. My Su wanted to meet Thomas. She went home to get ready but got a text from Jason saying there was a taxi waiting for her outside her house. Su is so horny that she ignores Thomas and his illegal motor racing and goes to dinner with Jason. She hopes to meet him at his apartment, but the taxi stops outside the restaurant. Su and Jason are dressed like homeless people, but they are having a good time. Jason wonders why Su always chooses him instead of doing a little chemistry set with Thomas. The answer is obvious, she wants to get into his pants. Of course she won't say that. That's it. The episode wasn't terrible. The illustrations were cute, the outfits and makeup were cool. Unfortunately, I still don't know what the main plot line is, apart from the fact that Jason is evil and we are just innocent sheep, or as he prefers to call it, kitten.

It's good that they add some hobbies to other characters, not that it will help in any way - no matter what they do, the creators will correct you in the next episode by showing that Jason has more potential - he dances better, organizes his workplace better, swims better, races a motorcycle better (even if he's never done it). It's very frustrating, because it's immediately clear who their favorite is. Other characters in this game have just three random character traits like in the Sims. What can I say, the only right choice for our boy in this game is Lysander lol

[princess-of-thebes-bc]

Have you ever wondered why Quaritch always hated Norm Spellman?

Quaritch was typing on his laptop and would sometime look up. He saw you talk to your coworker, Doctor Spellman. Tch. The Colonel rolled his eyes at that.

Spellman was book smart but lacked common sense. You were socially awkward too. But had brains outside of your work and was clumsy in an adorable way.

Quartich smiled at the memory. How you almost killed him by throwing a jar of something on his nose. He was mad and embarrassed you almost creamed him. Almost made him bleed to death.

But, it wasn't your intention. You cried and apologized and he made his move on you.

It's all good now. You're his girlfriend and soon to be his future wife.

He then heard that annoying ass voice grow louder.

"You have to come!" Spellman cried to you.

The fuck is going on? Quaritch raised his brow in wonder as he looked up from his work on the laptop.

Spellman and those other limp dick scientists left you. He watched you turn your head to his direction and smile at him. He knew that look. You would always use your big ass glassy eyes to melt him and get what you wanted.

What did you want now?

Quaritch turned off his laptop and watched you walk over to him. You began to kiss and suck his neck after sitting on his lap. The Colonel decided to go along with it. After some heated lip dancing. You whispered against his lips and begged to go to the Avatar garden.

"No." Quaritch saw your eyes sadden. He sighed. He stroked your long braids. He explained how some sting bats would attack. He doesn't want one of your eyeballs to go missing.

You're no Avatar. You can't make one due to your mutant genetics. It wasn't possible. Much to your disappointment.

You couldn't protect yourself.

You begged him and undid some buttons of his uniform. You touched the bare skin of his chest. He shuddered in pleasure as your warm and soft hands contrasted his cold and hard muscles.

You tried again. Damn you. He sighed and reluctantly nodded. You smiled and kissed him again to thank him. He grabbed the back of your head for one last affection.

You squirmed to leave him and he finally let go. Then you ran off to catch up with Norm.

The Colonel remembered the first time he met that Dope. He wasn't paying attention to his lecture at the orientation room. Like he was off in his own world.

The Colonel reluctantly had to do some shifts in the data room.

While he was working. His camera watchers of the base announced she had a situation.

Quaritch was curious and saw Norm, you, and others were in a restricted area!

Shit! His eyes widened but he kept his cool to not let anyone notice. There were bombs planted on the ground in case for Navi invaders!

The Colonel first used his cellphone to call you. When you confusedly answered. You flinched at his voice. "You idiot! That's a restricted zone. You will be killed. Come back!"

You blinked and saw the sign that warned how there was security traps around and no one not even Marines should come.

Oops.

The Colonel grabbed your hand and pushed you inside his office. His other marine staff were standing around him.

You, Norm and the other scientists were sitting in front of his desk looking scared.

"That area is classified and will dire great consequences." Quaritch declared as he sat on his desk Infront of you and your friends.

You apologized and honestly didn't know. Your boyfriend seemed to calm to down. But Norm had to open his mouth...

"You know what's nobody mentioned, this was supposed to be the greatest army in the entire world." Your eyes widened. Quaritch silently listened. He was surprised Spellman said something. "But you couldn't kill the nine of us."

Quaritch clenched his jaw in annoyance. Scrawny simp.

"I have to say I'm not impressed."

Oh, shit.

The tension in the air was cold and the other marines glared silently at Norm.

Norm got banned from the labs and work for three weeks as punishment without pay. And as for you, the Colonel forbade you from speaking to Norm unless absolute necessary. You couldn't hang out with him. He was too stupid to be around with. He might actually kill you.

And if Spellman did end your life. God forbid. Quartich would have killed him.

[bunkoos-mole-enthusiast]

Weekly Jungkook Fanfic Recs

Some fine JK fics for your reading pleasure. 🔞 Please show your appreciation to all the wonderful authors :) Calling You Cool: After your band finishes a coveted club gig, you’re frustrated that your dope ass night ends with you hiding in a bathroom stall. At least, this is what you figured - until someone comes along to change that.   https://kithtaehyung.tumblr.com/post/714257289848160256/calling-you-cool-m-jjk Of Skin: The sexploits of a man made of skin and bones. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21048614/chapters/50068430 Blackout: You’ve just been laid off, and all you want to do is eat some dinner, curl into bed, and forget. Unfortunately, the neighborhood block party is tonight, and the festivities turn downright chaotic when the entire city loses power. Don’t fret, though. Jungkook will help take your mind off things for a while. https://bonvoyagenoona.tumblr.com/post/686722234680786944/blackout-jjk The Cul-De-Sac Cons: Your two-story Tudor sits at the end of the cul-de-sac, miles away from the life that you used to lead. The life that involved more than a few scrapes here and there. The life that kept you on the run. But here, with your darling husband, you’ve found roots. You’ve found peace. The kind of peace that, unfortunately, could only be ruined by the new neighbors moving in.  https://bonvoyagenoona.tumblr.com/post/644486168112742400/the-cul-de-sac-cons-jjk-jhs Corrupt: You’d be crying out in pain begging me to play my games. I could corrupt you, it would be ugly. Vampire au. https://bratkook.tumblr.com/post/621115500050694145/corrupt-jjk-m Center Of Attention: It was supposed to just be you and your boyfriend tonight but your friends decided to come over for an impromptu slumber party. Of course, he’s not happy about it but he’ll get the attention he wants, one way or another. https://bangtanintotheroom.tumblr.com/post/673832725356134400/center-of-attention-m Show Me Something: He was your first kiss years ago, only to become your first heartbreak the next day. Your life would have been much easier if only you would forget about him and move on. https://yoonia.tumblr.com/post/647238369227702272/show-me-something-m Frost Impressions: Jeongguk is so disgustingly smitten with his new coworker that he ends up making a terrible first impression, and neither of them realize they’ve actually been in love with each other for the better part of a decade.  https://www.tumblr.com/fortunexkookie/190071380261/frost-impressions-m-jjk Little Bean: Nothing has been normal for Jungkook since he moved to Seoul to become a trainee as a boy, and yet noticing a beautiful girl in a coffee shop is the most normal thing a young man can do. Asking her out, super normal. Falling in love, totally normal. Everything about Sasha makes him feel normal and important, and yet nothing can ever be truly normal when your relationship has to be secret. https://archiveofourown.org/works/27237484/chapters/66536458

[eliteprepsat]

Logical Fallacies: The Uses and Abuses of Straw Men

I have a friend who likes to tell me about disagreements he has with others. When he tells me about his arguments with his friends, family, or coworkers, he likes to discredit the other side by ventriloquizing his opponents in a baritone and belligerent voice, his mouth drooping, his eyes wide so as to really make it clear: this person who disagreed with me is a dope.

Almost everyone I know—myself included—is guilty of pulling something like this at some point. It’s a useful strategy for framing yourself as the voice of reason and your opponent as an irrational putz. It’s often funny and effective, but it’s also dishonest. If your opponent really is so irrational, then why the need to misrepresent the tone of their voice? Why not just take on the argument itself?

This is the colloquial version of a strategy we witness in all sorts of writing, from political speeches to academic books, a logical fallacy known as the “straw man.”

The straw man fallacy occurs when a speaker refutes an opponent’s argument by misrepresenting that argument entirely. Instead of taking on the argument itself, the speaker constructs a “straw man” version of that argument—as weak and flimsy as a scarecrow—and knocks it down with ease.

Here’s an example from the Idea Channel at PBS:

Mike: “I don’t think it’s too much to ask that when a media creator wants to show heinous or awful stuff, they do so in a context that shows that that stuff is heinous and awful.” Straw-Man Mike: “Oh, so now we’re not allowed to show violent or terrible things unless we include some long-winded sermon about how bad things are bad? I think creators should be able to show or do whatever they want.”

Mike asserts a pretty moderate suggestion (“I don’t think it’s too much to ask”) rather than a strict prescription. Straw-Man Mike responds by replacing that suggestion with a cartoon version: representing violence in media requires the supplement of a “long-winded sermon about how bad things are bad.” Straw-Man Mike aligns Mike’s suggestion with censorship, verbosity (“long-winded”), and redundancy (“bad things are bad”), attributes that are not at all apparent in Mike’s actual position.

This is a dishonest strategy, as it misrepresents the initial argument. But there is also a finer point to make here. There is a fine line between constructing a straw man and pointing out the logical conclusions that, though not immediately apparent, might emerge from a position.

For example, Straw-Man Mike could potentially be correct in asserting that contextualizing violence has some necessary relationship with censorship. This is a worthwhile matter of debate. The issue, then, concerns the merits and pitfalls of censorship. Are cultural expectations surrounding the representation of violence a subtle form of censorship? If so, is this form of censorship a problem? What are its potential merits, and what are its proper limits? How do we go about answering these questions, and who gets to answer them?

This is suddenly a complex issue—as all genuine debates on substantive issues should be.

The straw man misrepresents the argument at hand, and, as with all logical fallacies, it should be diagnosed when it rears its head. But it also can serve a purpose. In tearing down one argument and building an extreme alternative, straw men can sometimes plunge us quickly into the heart of the matter. That’s a good thing, as long as we’re willing to explore where that leap into the deep end actually leads.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

You seem lovely and wonderful to be around; Do people usually like you?

LOL...st about this wuestion made me laugh.. do people Like me hmm well.. depends on the person xD i ttry to understand my relation to ppl very often but they always surprise me. i think im nice to b aroubd cus im pretty quiet and non imposing, i dnt rly kno how to speak unless spoken to but if u start talking to me i feel very involved in the conversation. i think because of my shyness and trouble initiating things, ppl sometimes assume im a bitch or they find me intimidating. a lot of ppl have told me i have a commanding presence that unnerved them at first. but i try rly hard to make myself more approachable haha..

one thing i struggle w immensely is being a target of projection, i believe this is due to my first house neptune. if u search up other women w that placement u will see wat i mean. There has been many times i think someone likes me until i realize they dont care for my actual personality at all and instead have this predetermined narrative in their mind that i'm meant to fulfill. like "manic pizie dream girl" type delusions. Its been rly difficult to find friends who want me to be Myself, but the ones ive managed to find have stuck w me for years sooo i assume that means im enjoyable to some?

overall despite my accumulated paranoias i rly love people and platonic friendship is like the truest purest form of love to me🤍 wait actually i just realized i am definitely dope to be around cus im alwaus everyones favotite coworker 😌

[junkdyke]

i am homeeeee from Denver (Wheat Ridge) Colorado!! my last trip until next year

tattooed super dope pieces almost every day, ALL of my clients were some form of fem kweer (dykes, enby, and transfems) including one of my fucking COOL ASS MUTUALS @seraphbutch !!!!

my friends are thinking its a potential place to move, but we'll be visiting again soon to really get a feel! idk, its really fucking white tho. speaking of white; so i was making fun of my friend for her Tinder algorithm and finally caved in and remade mine. i have never seen so fucking many granola femmes in my LIFE, amd not like the fun and funky granola either, just kinda beige. I matched with all 10 of the only butch/mascs in a 50 mile radius LMAOOO and then i felt bad bc i exchanged 1 or 2 messages with each of them before just completely not replying to any of them cause i got too busy 💀 a couple of them did, however ,message me again so i answered, they were really cute but it's a shame i am just NOT in place to be doing the app thing rn. Fun to look though!!

i went to a metal show with tattoo crush while we were out there, and I might be going to another one with her later this month!! Both her and Dyke Roomie are down to go to the orchestra with me!! The shop we worked at was SOOO cute with the sweetest artists, one of them wants to get tattooed by me when we come back which is such an honor!! we saw the most gorgeous views during our 16 hour drive, our airbnb host was fucking UNHINGED lmfaooooo, she had us check in late after we had just finished driving for hours, would just NOT leave the room cause she was trying to finish setting it up, had been sick so she had no voice, and then when she finally left, texted Tattoo Crush to say "I'm sorry i'm such a mess. I think I left my vape in the room. jkkkkkkkkk. sorry this is like the worst week of my life, my grandma is sick. the mess is because the other people that live here are going through a nasty divorce. sorry again, im such a mess." just...insanity!!!!! But it was a really fun trip, i love my friends so much!!

We're all agreed that next year we'll be traveling monthly or bi-monthly! Some for sure spots we'll be hitting up are Atlanta, Portland, Seattle, Austin, I'm hoping Vancouver, maybe Boston, San Francisco ofc and maybe spend more time in Oakland, Dyke Roomie wants to go to Salem, another of my coworkers wants me to go to Nashville with her...so excited, so happy, i love life rn and the people in it💖

[nysocboy]

Glamorous: Be as femme as you wanna be, especially when you are surrounded by mega-hunks

Glamorous, on Netflix: Make-up obsessed Marco gets a dream job at a glamour firm, starts a journey of self-discovery, and falls in love with a man. The episode descriptions use "he/him" pronouns, but Marco is played by  -- and based on the experiences of -- trans actress Miss Benny.  So maybe he'll be coming out as trans at some point.

Scene 1: Marco awakens.  He's a boy with a femme girl hairstyle and a room decorated with pictures of high-heel shoes.  Asking himself if "the struggle to be a grown-up is realer than real," he puts on his frilly pink gown and heads for the makeup table -- well, more like a makeup warehouse, puts on his face, and starts talking to his internet followers: "I am a makeup artist and beauty industry professional who works with all the major brands, including Glamorous by Madolyn."  Looks like he's already pretty self-discovered.

But in real life, he has a part-time job behind the make-up counter at a department store, he has minimal followers, and his Mom, whom he claims "helps with my content," could not be less interested. But does that stop the dynamo make-up artist?  Nope. "We're going places!"

Scene 2: Mom has called in some favors and enrolled Marco in a paralegal training program.  Do you need to call in favors for that?  Can't anyone enroll? "But Mom, I already have a job!"  "It doesn't pay anything.  You're 22 years old: start taking your life seriously, and start paying me rent!"   Settle, dude.  You know how many famous make-up artists there are out there?  

Scene 3: At the mall, Marco sees his idol, Madolyn, looking at a display of her own products. She explains that she's doing important research in her customers' buying habits.  It's not just about the make-up, dude.  "I'm a customer!"  "Ok, let's see what you got.  Give me a makeover."  

Marco goes to work, while criticizing his idol's make-up! Smooth move, dude. It's not selling.  Customers consider it safe and banal.  They want fantasy.  "When I do my makeup in the morning, I want magic!  I want to feel like a star!"  

Madolyn is mesmerized.  No one has criticized her for 20 years. "You have some important things to say about makeup.  Want a job?" 

Scene 4:  Marco going to work in a glass-and-steel skyscraper.  At least he gets to wear his high heels and a totally femme hairstyle.  The first assistant, Venetia, introduces him to Madolyn's son Chad (Zayne Phillips, top photo), who is in a meeting while running on a treadmill....with his shirt off....um, his muscles gleaming....um...does he need a personal assistant?  

"Is this the superstar Mom hired from the mall?" Chad asks. Superstar?  I thought he was just opinionated.  Then he criticized Marco for wearing heels: "I'm gay, but I'm not...gay."  The word you're looking for is "femme," as in the Grindr ads: "No femmes, no fats."

Next on the tour: Product Design, and another gay guy, Ben (Michael Hsu Rosen, left), who trips all over his tongue while trying ineptly to flirt.  "He gets like this when he's excited," his coworker explains.  "I don't get like anything when I'm excited, which I'm not," he stammers.  "But I could be."  Dude, are you talking about your penis?

Next up: Social Media Influencer Alyssa, and her assistant Nowhere, a 1960s hippie.  "I'm an influencer, too!" Marco exclaims.  "Yes, but you just have 1,000 followers, and half of them are bots."

Finally Madolyn's office, with all of her awards, magazine covers, mirrors, and make-up.  I'm getting flashbacks to Wilhemina Slater on Ugly Betty. except Madolyn seems much nicer.  Marco the Dope criticizes her again: "You seem very...comfortable!"  "I beg your pardon?  I take chances!  I'm cutting-edge!"

Scene 5: Marco telling his followers about his first week, sugar-coating the slapstick mishaps that we see in a montage.  The First Assistant Venetia discusses with her friend: "He's flopping like a Katy Perry single."  "Good -- then our jobs are secure. If he were doing a good job, we'd have to sabotage him."

Left: Michael Rosen's rear

Scene 6:Madolyn criticizing Super Hunk Chad's ideas for the new line.  "This is exactly what we send to Sephora every year.  We need to be bold -- take chances." 

Chad: "Or we could just sell the company to World-Famous Make-Up Company and be rich(er).  You could even stay on as Creative Director, and I could do something besides sell...ugh...makeup."  Chad's going to be the Big Bad.

More mega-hunks after the break

Scene 7: Marco has the job of picking up the super-important product prototypes and bringing them to the office for the Big Presentation.  He gets into the wrong Uber, and complains to the real passenger, a very muscular Straight Guy (Graham Parkhurst), who takes an Uber to the gym every day, about his various job mishaps.  Straight Guy consoles him.  

Whoops, he left the very important prototypes in the Uber.  There's no way to track them down, since he got in the wrong Uber. Wait -- wouldn't the Uber driver have turned them in at the company office?   Madolyn wants to forgive him, but Super-muscular Chad insists on firing him. 

Scene 8:  Ben, the coworker with the huge crush on Marco, talks to his friend: "Now that he's fired, I could ask him out, but I won't because it would be weird and creepy.  But just in case, do you have his number?"  This is definitely like Ugly Betty, where every straight guy working in an office full of supermodels fell instantly in love with the "ugly" girl.  Well, not Daniel, but they had a "will they or won't they" thing going on for several years.

Meanwhile, Mom tells Marco to fight to get his job back.  The Straight Guy probably picked up the prototypes.  You know what gym he goes to, and the time of day: go find him!  

Left: Straight Guy butt

Scene 9:  Pretending to be a rich white guy, Marco buys a gym membership, with the proviso that he can back out if he's dissatisfied.   Girl, high heels to the gym?  He pretends to work out forever, but Straight Guy never shows up, so he hits the locker room (actually, a lot of semi-private dressing rooms).  And there he is, dawdling at the mirror, wearing only a towel! 

Straight Guy gazes at Marco like he's a pork chop.  "I...um...left something in the Uber yesterday." "I've got something for you right here."  He fumbles with his towel.  Psych!  He's actually heading to his locker to retrieve the prototypes.

"And, by the way, I'm not straight. And here's my number. Bye."  He takes off his towel, flashes his butt, and heads for the showers. 

Scene 9:  Everyone stares as super-fired Marco marches through the office and into Madolyn's meeting to present the prototypes.  Chad scoffs, but Madolyn wants to hear his speech: "I'm not perfect.  I'm bad at math, the oldest movie I've seen is Titanic, and I don't know who Cher is.  But I can learn.  I can grow.  The question is, can you?"  He then criticizes the prototypes as garbage.  Madolyn is impressed; he's re-hired If you want him to advise you on make-up, hire him as a consultant, not a gopher. 

Chad scoffs.  "Curses! Foiled again!" 

Left: Nick Fink, who appears in the cast list but is not in this episodeScene 10:  His first job: fetching coffee and a Vogue for Madolyn and First Assistant Venetia.  Uh-oh, he's sharing an elevator with Ben, the guy with the major crush on him!  He fumbles and stutters until Marco takes pity and asks him out.  Ben melts in ecstasy, then catches himself: "Um..yeah, I guess that'd be cool.  Hit me up." 

Cut to First Assistant Venetia running into Chad in the bathroom.  Venetia is worried that he'll take her job, and Chad, that he'll tank the company with his newfangled ideas. They come up with a plan to "ruin that twink." The end.

Beefcake:  Chad and Parker (Straight Guy), plus a few gym hunks.

LGBTQ Characters: Marco, Chad, Parker, Ben, and -- well, just about everyone.

Femme: No one is bothered in the least by Marco's femme gender presentation.  In fact, it appears to be something of a turn-on to the more masculine-presenting guys. 

Make-Up:  There are a lot of "make-up is the most important thing in the world" manifestos, but we don't actually learn much about make-up.  Why is Madolyn's brand outdated?  What the heck is a gondola?  At least in Ugly Betty, we were told the difference between bad and good fashion.

My Grade: It's rather fun watching a boy be as femme as he wants to be with no kickback, and the hunks competing for his attention are stunning.  I'm just worried that the office-politics plotlines will be a bit old-fashioned.  A-

[moxiemaemaple]

Dear diary~ 002

I hate change. This force to a new place has left me with little energy. I compare a lot, something I can't help. I'll miss so much but my past is over. A new life, fresh start. I feel stripped though. Empty.

I got a BF bifta given to me as my first vehicle. Dressed it up barbie style. I guess it gets me around and is a bit safer than a scooter which was what I was trying to buy originally. I've already trashed it up a few times trying to take it offroading. Turns out its a dune bungee, just meant for driving on the sand and nothing too crazy.

I made a friend, Tom Tom. He wears a mask always. Its a freaky clown mask but you know, it matters who is deep under it all and he turns up and makes me smile. I've been trying to connect with some of the girls at the UwU cafe. Everything is just overwhelming. Socializing is something I fake being good at but really it drains the fuck out of my energy. I just often feel like falling asleep trying to communicate, even just thinking about it…

I've been pouring into trying to take photos, get back to feeling good about myself. Its insanely hard. This persona of mine is taxing to upkeep. I love Barbie, don't get me wrong, though the bubbly personality with a big bright smile is hard to maintain in all these new social situations. I kinda often don't know what to say, just end up giggling and feeling so awkward. People take it as me just being adorable so suppose the truth of how I feel isn't showing as much as I think. Over analyzing as always.

The fashion here isn't the same. Its ok…not what I'm use to. I miss some of my old possessions. I try not to think about what is gone. Its just gone. Too much lingering on the topic breaks me. So I spend a lot of money on clothes to try to feel a bit more complete. Typical hole to sink into. I don't have any desire to make a savings anymore. With how many cities I've skipped its pointless…fucking just hurts more if you got something to lose.

Its like people get off humbling you when you got something.

Dumping too much angst in here. Have to put it somewhere. This weekend was just rough for me. First week out of jail in a new place. Called homeless. Some bitch wanted to shoot me cause of how my hair looked. Lots of clowns which is slightly triggering considering my last toxic relationship. Weird vibes, no one does dope here. No one fucking parties. Everyone is one that grind. Just feel so disconnect coming back into society. Just trying to make due while dealing with a lot of hurt still.

I'm an alien. How I feel. Beam me up already so I can feel some what sane finally.

Another positive…I have career opportunities I never had before where I had been settled. May have lost a lot but I could open The Hippie Pillow Fort. My own place… No bosses. No getting scolded. No having to try and fit into a box to make my coworkers happy. I should feel some weight lifted off me just typing that…I'll get there.

The music is good here. Someone released a catchy tune about goth chicks and its a bop. I need a, 'Big titty goth bitch, who watches true crime'~ by Thumper, should check it out! Music is one of those things that keeps me going. Life would insanely dark without melodies of all types.

[jjsmaybank20]

Bitchy is my Type

Leighton Murray x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader is a motorcycle riding, tattoos, badass type. What happens when there is a new volunteer at the Women's Center who is just her type, but instead of getting along, they become enemies? But what if those hateful feelings turn out to be something more? Or Enemies to friends to lovers.

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 1.5k

Pt. 1  Pt. 2

navigation  the sex lives of college girls masterlist

---

“Hey, Y/N! Just so you know, we have a new volunteer coming in tomorrow. Her name is… Leighton Murray? She’s a freshman. She got drunk and threw a bottle at a statue, and then ran away from campus police. Seems like just your type.” Alicia, your co-head of volunteering, says to you as you walk towards your motorcycle. 

“She seems fun. I’ll be in tomorrow to help get her settled, but I might be a tiny bit late. My shift at Sips cuts in a little.” You call over your shoulder. She shoots you a thumbs up and you mount your bike. This Leighton sounds familiar. Oh shit! This is your coworker Kimberly’s roommate! You drive off, looking forward to putting a name to a face.

{The next day} 

You approach Lila and Kimberly just in time to hear Lila ask, “So is there something going on between you and the hot French tutor?” You add, “Yeah, the one who is your roommate's brother? I mean, I’m a lesbian, but even I think he’s hot.”

Kimberly splutters back. “No. Why? Did he ask about me or something when he ordered his coffee yesterday?” Lila smirks before replying, “Yeah. He-- He asked me if you were seeing anyone.”

You laugh when you see Kimberly completely falling for it. “Stop. Really?!” Lila cackles. “Nah, he didn't. He couldn't care less. But maybe he will, 'cause he's walking in right now.”

Kimberly shoots her a glare, unknowing that Nico is right behind her. “Oh, ha ha! That's so funny. Yeah, I'm sure he's walking in right now.” She turns around and sees him, quickly covering for herself. “Hey!”

Nico grins before asking, “How's it going?” Kimberly turns bright red. “Uh, I'm just working. Nothing much. Definitely not talking about anything specific.”

Lila stares at him for a second before saying, “You have a face to write songs about. Thank you.” You shove her shoulder before looking back at Nico and saying, “Sorry about her. She kind of says whatever comes into her mind.” You hold out your hand for a handshake. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N. Kimberly’s coworker. And you must be the french tutor.”

Nico laughs before grabbing your hand. “Yeah, that's me. I’m Nico Murray. I’ve seen you around campus. You have that dope ass motorcycle that always somehow has a girl on it.” Now it's your turn to laugh. “Yep. What can I say, ladies dig the vibe.” Nico pulls out his phone. “You seem cool. Could I get your number? Theta is always looking for more people to hang out with.”

You nod and pull out your phone. “Yeah man. As long as you're down for some intense game watching and very long nights partying.” He grins and nods. “Always.”

Kimberly grabs his attention after he finishes putting your number in his phone. “So, what brings you in? Did you want a drink? Or a café au lait?” Nico smiles before saying, “Hey, good pronunciation. But no, I just stopped in to see you. I was thinking, for our next tutoring session, we could watch "Golden Girls" in French, the way I learned with my au pair. Maybe tonight?”

Kimberly nods enthusiastically. “Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I think that sounds both educational and entertaining. You're such a good tutor.” Nico gives her a weird look before shaking it off. “Great. I'll see you tonight.” Kimberly sighs, “Okay.” 

You and Lila share a look before you teasingly say, “You're staring.” Lila adds, “At his butt.” 

“Lila! Y/N! God!” Kimberly exclaims before stomping off. You snort and start wiping down a table. You pause for a second before you say, “Hey, Lila? Do you know where Canaan is? I haven’t seen him all day.” 

Lila glances over at you, and then says in a teasing voice, “Oh my god! You two spent a whole day apart? I never thought I would see the best friends separated from each other.” You roll your eyes at her, and she finally says, “He’s probably just chilling at the KJ house. You know how he is sometimes.” 

You nod in agreement, before looking at the time. “Shit! I have to go. Do you think you can finish up these tables for me?” Lila nods, and you quickly take off your apron and run to your bike.

---

When you pull up to the Women's Center, you see that Alicia had parked her car right where you normally park your bike. You storm inside and start talking, not noticing the new person that you are interrupting. 

“Alicia! How many times do I have to say this! That is my damn parking space. You have one literally two spots down.” You heard a ding from the safe space bell. “Sorry, Ginger. I heard it.”

When you finally look around, you see a new person. “ Well you must be Leighton. I’m Y/N. She, her, hers. I hope everyone has introduced themselves to you.”    

The others quickly scramble to introduce themselves. 

“I'm Ginger. She, her, hers.” 

“Lindsay. She, her, hers.”

“Alicia. She, her, hers.” 

“Tova. They, them, theirs.”

Leighton makes a non-committal noise and states, “Oh, right. Sure. Well, I'm she. Obviously.” You restrain yourself from rolling your eyes. She’s one of those people. Sensing the tension, Alicia pipes up. “Cool. I oversee all the volunteers.”

“So do I. I do scheduling and sign off on hours, while Alicia recruits and organizes events so that volunteers can volunteer.” Leighton sighs and says, “Oh, great. Should we talk about scheduling? Um, I was thinking that I would work mornings from 9:30 to 10:15-ish, and then, you know, round that up to an hour, for timesheet purposes.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes this time. “Yeah, that's not how this works. I'll tell you when we need help, and that's when you'll be here. Like tomorrow from 5:00 to 10:00, you'll be helping with our feminist poetry group.”

Leighton sighs and puts on a fake sympathetic voice. “As tempting as that sounds, I'm kind of busy on Fridays.” You snap back. “Shit, I didn't realize that. Maybe we should just shut down the whole place till you're free.”

Leighton lets out an astonished laugh. “Okay, I am from New York, so I can tell that you're being sarcastic.” Ginger waves to get your attention. “Hey, this is, uh, getting a little tense. I'm gonna hit the Safe Space Bell.” You nod, and she dings the bell.

Leighton looks around, confused. “What? Why does she keep hitting that stupid bell?” This time, Alicia answers her question. “It's a bell that we hit when we think it'd be good to have a safe space.” 

Leighton scoffs. “Uh, isn't this already a safe space? Okay. I'm just saying that maybe we've gotten a little bit too sensitive as a society if even a safe space isn't-- Oh, my God!” Ginger hit the bell again. 

Alicia waves Ginger off. “It's all good, Ginger. What we do here, whether it seems stupid to you or not, really does help people. So we're not looking for your feedback at the moment, okay?”

You add, “Oh, and don't say your pronouns are obvious. That makes you suck. Suggesting that you don't have to use your pronouns when other people do makes you sound like a really dumb, cis bitch.” Ginger hits the bell one more time. “I heard it, Ginger! Welcome to the Women's Center, Leighton. See you at poetry night.”

You watch Leighton storm out before walking into the Women's Center office with Alicia in tow. “Jesus Christ! Could she get any more entitled? I mean, she’s hot as fuck, but my god. You know, I met her brother today during my shift at Sips. He’s a really nice guy. The looks definitely run in the family. If she wasn’t so straight, I would totally go for her.”

“Damn, Y/N. You definitely have a type. You like bitchy girls. But I do agree with you on this one, she is hot.” Alicia exclaims. You sigh and sit down at the desk in the office. You need to figure out how to handle Leighton without blowing up on her. This was going to be harder than you thought.

---

Later that evening, you were helping Alicia get set up for poetry night. Once people started to file in, you put out the sign up list to figure out the order in which people would be going. You hear boots clicking on the floor, and then see a shadow come over you. 

Without looking up you say, “Hey, Leighton.” She lets out a surprised noise and asks, “How did you know it was me?” You roll your eyes and finally look up. “Because you are the only person who comes to this Center wearing Louboutin boots.”

She scoffs and says, “Surprised you know what they are. Didn’t take you for a shoe person.” You laugh at that and state, “I’m not, but I have dated many girls who are. Funny thing is, you are exactly my type. Beautiful, bitchy, stylish. One little problem. I don’t date assholes.”

“Another little problem. I’m straight.” She states in a slightly shaky voice, which she internally curses herself for. 

You smirk at her, not missing the tremor in her voice. “That hasn’t stopped me before.”

---

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[doycngs]

jung jaehyun. | reiteration.

THE SEQUEL TO REPETITION! READ HERE!

summary. this time around, you have to prove a point to jaehyun when jealousy gets the best of him. but one thing he is glad for is that you’re forgivable enough to let him make it up to you.

pairing. y/n x nct’s jaehyun.

genre. established relationship!au, college!au

word count. 6k. 

warnings. explicit smut, swearing, unprotected sex (wrap it up bois), dom!jaehyun, sub!afab!reader [she/her pronouns] slight cumplay, bondage again!, spanking, clit play, oral fixation (it’s what i’m calling it now idk), foreplay (receiving), dirty talk, degradation (receiving), slight choking, rough play, breeding 0_0, i think that is all + johnny is sleazy for plot purposes and um jae is a little bit annoying but it’s okay, we shall forgive him,,, he makes up for it bc he is a big dumb softie in the end <3

ah, return of the infamous jung jaehyun everybody has fallen in love with… some may be sad at this new development but i’ve added a small plot to this sequel, whoops! not proofread yet bc i wanted this out for valentine boy’s (late) bday! enjoy and dni if this is not for you, half of it is smut :)

|—————| 

THE SECOND JOHNNY opened his mouth to compliment Jaehyun on how much of a catch you were, how lucky he was to have gotten you, you knew it was going to be a long night. 

It was an annual end-of-the-year party for Jaehyun’s new firm he was currently working at. There were rare occasions where Jaehyun could bring you to work outings and since this dinner party, set at some fancy golf course, had plus-ones available, Jaehyun obviously invited you. 

And oh, how excited you were. After all, you were pretty close to being a college graduate and never had many chances to dress up nicely. You weren’t much of a party-goer but fancy dinners did sound nice to attend once in a while. 

So you tried your best with your appearance tonight. There’s nothing wrong with that. Jaehyun also loved it, considering how touchy and needy he was since you had slipped this heather mini dress on. He was tempted to just park the car on the side of the highway road and have his way with you after fantasizing far too much for safety purposes.

The only problem that Jaehyun did have was the comments you were getting from his coworker. He wasn’t all too close with everyone yet but he was shadowing Johnny as a lawyer and knew him much better than everybody else in the expansive room. 

Maybe the reason why he was getting so possessive of you was that he knew how much of a lady’s man this dude was. And oh, was Johnny one. 

“So how long have you two been together? For the six months I’ve known this guy, he’s bragged about his gorgeous girlfriend maybe once.” Johnny states over a flute of champagne, having politely grabbed two; one for himself and one for you out of courtesy. Jaehyun had to flag down a server for a glass himself. 

You hum, smiling easily, “I believe it's close to three years now?” 

Looking over to your boyfriend, his jaw tightens as he catches Johnny’s eyes wandering when you look away. He couldn’t punch his superior and cause a fight, right?

A call of his name from your pretty lips to take Jaehyun out of his violent imagination. “Oh, uh… yes. Three years. We met on my birthday.” 

“Oh, that’s dope. February…?” 

You butt in, your exaggerated interest (at least in Jaehyun’s warped mind) making his blood boil. “14th! He came into the flower shop I was currently working at to buy flowers for his mom. Kept coming in and giving her an abnormal amount of boutiques until I asked him out.” 

“Oh, really?” The biggest smirk plants onto Johnny’s face at the new information, eyes flying over to his shadow, “I’ve never heard this story before.” 

Giggling as you recall the fond memories, Johnny’s eyes are glued to you permanently, “He’s probably a little embarrassed. After I got Jaehyun’s number, he accidentally texted me his panic attack to his friend, Sicheng, on what to message me first.” 

Johnny practically guffaws at the story which Jaehyun didn’t find that amusing, the most passive-aggressive smile on your lover’s face. 

You suck your lips into your mouth at the sight, deciding to reign in your usual desire to brag about your boyfriend. And yes, you consider outing your boyfriend’s clumsy messaging habits as a brag. He was endearing.

Jaehyun settles his hand lower on your back, gently pushing you in a certain direction. “We’ll be right back. Gotta go figure out our seats.” 

Johnny nods in agreement, saying he should do the same as the three of you part, Jaehyun’s tight hold on your hip signifying his annoyance. 

Side-eying his expression, now dropped of pleasant formalities, you brush your hand onto your boyfriend’s. 

“Jae, he’s just being nice—” 

“You’re joking, right? He was obviously flirting—” 

Here we go. The cycle is starting all over again. You thought you two were past this. 

You halt on your way to searching the next circle table, bringing Jaehyun to look back and stand before you. “This is what we are not going to do, okay? Even if he’s flirting with me, ignore it.” 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “No, I can’t ignore it. He’s been eye-fucking you since we’ve arrived!” 

You grab onto your boyfriend’s shoulders, his nice hair that parted so neatly tonight already messed up from his anger. Attempting to smooth that crease out between Jae’s flawless skin, you rub up and down on his forearms. 

“Then just let him. I don’t care because I’m yours and you shouldn’t either at this point, considering how much work you’ve done to get this far and shadow such a great lawyer at this firm. Don’t throw this all away for me.” 

Jaehyun grits his teeth, his ears only attuned to further enrage the burning fire of green jealousy in his chest. You instantly catch onto what your boyfriend is caught up on, huffing. 

“It’s two hours and then we’re gone, okay?” 

When Jaehyun bites the inside of his lip, you repeat yourself, “... Okay?” 

“... Fine.” 

Breathing out a sigh of relief, you turn him back around and allow Jaehyun to continue trying to find your name tags at the assigned tables. You pray that Johnny doesn’t make any more out-of-pocket comments or do anything else that was slightly incriminating. 

Just for the sake of his physical safety.

|—————| 

The night’s luck was not on your side because you and Jaehyun were placed at the table adjacent to Johnny. Johnny kept throwing his head back and whispering what sounded like jokes into your ear, which of course, your boyfriend seethed at. 

You tried hard to not seem so amused but the man’s dad jokes were out of this world. Since he gained a good reaction from the first, Johnny’s gigantic storage of them in his head had been spilling out his mouth nonstop. 

At a particularly funny one, you’re covering your mouth and bent over in trying to be quiet, Jaehyun silently grasping your elbow. Biting your lip to drown your giggles with pain helps in calming down, especially after you gaze at Jaehyun’s expression again and he looks insanely pissed at his superior. And now you for entertaining the latter. 

By the time all the good-natured speeches are over, plates of appetizers and entrees come whisking out. You momentarily forget about the entire dilemma for the sake of enjoying good food, free of charge. At the moment, you don’t realize your natural way of moaning at how good the lamb chops are is distracting to Jaehyun and unfortunately Johnny.

After what sounded too excessive for the situation, Jaehyun scolds you with a heated whisper in your ear. 

“Stop making those noises, please. It sounds like I’m fucking you.” 

Your brows furrow at the comment, bummed. The corners of your mouth are downturned for being yelled at, bottom lip jutting out. 

As the night continues on, the pout stays, especially at how you just being yourself starts to irk Jaehyun. The chastising starts to hurt a little and you want to mention it to Jae, just in the way you two promised you were going to mention anything to one another that bothered you two… but then you’d be hypocritical. 

After all, you were the one that pushed Jaehyun’s attempt at speaking his mind with Johnny. You should push yours aside for the end of the night too. 

Jae’s last comment about making you cross your legs though makes you see red. You really didn’t need snides about your posture or how to be “lady-like”, anything of that sort. You had expressed to Jaehyun multiple times how uncomfortable you were with those types of remarks and it felt like, under this blinded emotion of jealousy, all the comfortable moments you’ve spoken what’s on your mind had vanished from your caring and attentive boyfriend’s memory. 

You don’t mean to start giving Jaehyun the cold shoulder, you just get lost in your head, the both of your bad moods feeding off one another. 

From how long you’ve been dating one another, the one thing Jaehyun could not stand for was the silent treatment. You know this very well and yet Jaehyun notes of your silence before you realize it yourself, now fuming at your behavior too. 

The two of you end up leaving after dessert is cleaned off, way too early to be professional. Your worry about Jaehyun’s reputation clouds your unintentional muteness for a moment as he leads you two to the foyer, a staff member going to get your coat with the number you hand off to them. 

“Are you sure you want to leave now?” The incredibility in your tone doesn’t help the stoic look on Jaehyun’s face. 

“Yes.” 

It’s a short response that has you sighing past your nostrils. Back to your silent treatment, it was. 

“We’re gonna talk in the car.” 

You only hum in response, forcing Jaehyun’s palms to curl into a ball. He’s had enough; Jung Jaehyun hates arguing with you. 

Just as he turns to fully face your side profile, to address everything and scream his frustration out, the person comes back with your coat. 

The staff member is kind in opening up your pea coat for you to step into but Jaehyun takes it from the person’s hands, allowing him to be the one to do so. 

Tonguing your cheek in exasperation of Jaehyun’s irrational possessiveness, you tug the jacket on in one smooth motion, not wanting to be physically close with your rude boyfriend currently. You lead in the way to the revolving door and stalk to the car, the pain in your feet from wearing heels fueling your anger even more. 

You yank the offending shoes off before Jaehyun can even unlock the vehicle, exhausted from this night now that you two were leaving. Once he does though, seeming to take his sweet time in reaching the car, you step in with a huff. Twisting the knob to blast the heat, Jaehyun climbs to the driver’s seat and buckles himself in. 

He isn’t even looking at you. 

“Buckle.” 

You honestly want to not follow this man’s orders just to irk him, screw your welfare at this point. 

“I said buckle.” 

The commanding voice most of the time turns you on. But right now, it was just twisting your insides and making you feel stupid. Childish. 

Jae finally turns his head to see your chest rising and falling way too fast to be normal. Swearing under his breath, he leans over the console, acting like he was wasting his energy to yank on the cable for you. You deny the urge to tug Jaehyun’s hands away to do it yourself, not wanting to break your own promise of not touching him.  

It’s silent all the way to the freeway, where your insistent sighs finally make your boyfriend snap. 

“Please stop sighing.” 

“No, I’m mad at you.” 

“Oh, you’re mad at me? That’s rich with how you were and are currently giving me the silent treatment.” 

Your habit of biting would make your lip bleed at this point. 

“Of course, I didn’t want to talk to you, when it seemed like if I opened my mouth, you would scold me for it. And why were you so fucking rude to that coat person? They were just helping me!” 

It’s the first point of this entire fight that would set off everything else. 

“I was not rude.”

You finally turn in your seat, shocked at how Jaehyun was denying his blatant behavior just several minutes ago. 

“Are you joking? You’re that fucking possessive of me that you can be the only one to help me put a damn jacket on?” 

Jaehyun lets out a shaky exhale, ticked off at your tone. His attempt to try and be calm is slowly deteriorating. 

“That was not possessive. I wanted to put it on for you!” 

“Really? You know— that is rich— thinking back to how you kept yelling at me for doing the smallest of things earlier.” 

“I— I was not yelling at you, Y/N,” Jaehyun glances over at you, his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel, “I didn’t mean them that way—” 

“What other way could you have meant them?” You’re raising your voice now, mad beyond relief, “You have no right to ever tell me to cross my legs or not to talk, or to stop having the humor to laugh at jokes!” 

Jaehyun tries to cut you off but you don’t allow it.

 “No matter whether or not you’re jealous, I will never allow you to stop me from being myself. Screw you.”

It’s quiet in the car again and you know you’ve left your boyfriend speechless, grasping at some way to counter back. 

“After what I’ve told you about how annoying it is to get those comments, throughout my life, you just throwing out all that I’ve said about it and telling me to close my legs, oh my—” You stop yourself, arms crossed and now facing the window, “I cannot fucking believe you. I don’t give a shit about pleasing your damn ego and saying that I belong to you anymore.” 

“Baby—” 

“Don’t baby me. I’m done. I really might break if you try to explain yourself to me right now. Please save it.” 

You turn on the radio station to drown out the silence in the car, not able to stand it. As much as you stood by what you just said, you don’t like putting down Jaehyun either. You knew he was such a loving, caring boyfriend that would never just toss away your actual limits to things but it didn’t seem that way back at the party. 

By the time Jaehyun reaches your apartment’s underground garage, you’re stepping out in bare feet. The look of concern you get from Jaehyun in your peripheral makes your heart twist more and you two step into the elevator in a stifling tension. 

The ride to the floor is silent. And getting into the apartment is silent, spare for Jaehyun unlocking the door and letting you walk in first. You have the manners to thank him for doing so, no matter how upset you were within. 

Trudging to the bathroom, you begin to wipe at the makeup on your face, sad that you had spent so long getting ready and dolling up to only leave an hour and a half in. You’re biting your bare lips, now gone of red tint, to stop from having your throat tighten up. 

Jaehyun steps into your bedroom’s bathroom, sulking like a kicked puppy. He watches your eyes glimmer in the mirror and the way you’re unwilling to make eye contact. You knew that if you did, the tears would finally fall and you would rather not show how affected you were with this argument. 

The effort you’re putting in to not cry though makes Jaehyun’s expression even hollow, furious with himself for going so far. For asking you to not do things without good reason, for letting his unhealthy jealousy get to him, for ruining the one night you’ve been getting excited for since he had asked you to attend the dinner party with him. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

You’re afraid that if you open your mouth, it’ll betray how bothered you were with Jaehyun. 

“Please say something. I don’t want to go to sleep mad at one another.” 

You’re stubborn tonight, not giving in to the urge to hug him yet. 

“I don’t either. Let me shower first.” You sigh, bare-faced now. With your hand on the knob, you close Jaehyun out and take a hot shower, scrubbing the night away. 

Jaehyun sits at the edge of the bed facing the door, hair now all ruffled and out of place with the way he runs his hands through the strands. His tie felt suffocating, his suit jacket felt suffocating. He tugs both off and sets them aside on the accent chair you insisted the bedroom aesthetic needed. 

He looks around the room and notes how much of you you’ve managed to create in his space. He had gotten this apartment four years ago, never thinking or even considering having another being set up their life in here too. And now he can’t imagine the trinkets and books and scattered bits of you not being here. 

Every time you two fought with pettiness, Jaehyun knew what he was upset about was never worth losing you. Getting jealous because of how insecure he was of keeping you was never worth losing you for. 

So when you finally step out of the bathroom, all soft and wet and mellow, Jaehyun dies to tug you into his arms. Keep you by his side. But you side-step him and walk to the closet for a nightgown. 

“Shower first please.” 

His heart cracks just a little more. You wanted to talk this out just as much as Jaehyun but you needed a bit more time to think more things through. 

Jae takes the quickest shower he could manage and comes out to you sitting on the bed, playing with the threads of the mattress. He tugs a sleep shirt on and sweats on and then he’s catching you into his hold finally. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to ruin the night.” 

“I know.” 

“I didn’t mean to take it too far either. I let my jealousy get a hold of me.” 

You look up to him, big eyes with genuine confusion. “Jae, I would never up and leave you for someone else.” 

“I know,” He tugs his chin into his neck, playing with your hands in your lap, “I know that. I didn’t think properly at the moment. And I also just got mad at how my superior was disrespecting you. Did you really not notice how he kept looking at you?” 

His large palm lands to curl around the side of your face. “I did but, Jaehyun, you were right there. And I told you I didn’t care. Even if Johnny tried anything, you were right beside me. I’m not mad at you just because of that. If he was going too far, I also would have told him myself. I’m capable of it.” 

Jaehyun hides his face inside your wet hair. “You’re right, you are. I wasn’t thinking deeply about those things I said either.” 

“Say them to my face again. Right now.” 

“Baby, no.” 

“Exactly. I’m just proving a point. Just please… don’t do that again. It hurts.” 

Jaehyun cradles your face into his chest, teary. “Okay, I’m sorry.” 

“Please stop saying sorry. And do better, okay? And I’ll try my best too as well.” Your small voice is muffled in Jaehyun’s shirt and you grasp at the back of his black tee tighter. 

“Okay, I’ll do better.” 

“I’m sorry for being stubborn. And giving you the silent treatment. I got lost in my head thinking about what you were asking me to do. Just tell me when I’m doing it, okay? I’ll stop.” 

Jaehyun wetly chuckles at your maturity, so thankful to have you as the anchor in his life. 

“Okay, baby. I will,” He pulls your pouty face away from his body finally, cupping your cheeks and squishing them, “I am so damn lucky to have you.” 

You grin, “Me too. Love you.” 

His heart soars, the biggest smile overtaking Jaehyun’s face as well. “Say that again.” 

Pulling out of his embrace, you shake your head, fondly exasperated. “You big, overgrown child.” 

Jaehyun whines, tugging you back into his space. “Just one more time.” 

You huff under your breath, “Love you.” 

“Last one.” He chirps happily.

Laughing, you push at Jaehyun’s chest. He doesn’t budge an inch and your back hits the mattress as a result as you laugh breathlessly. 

Jaehyun climbs over your form, adoration in his coffee-colored irises. “One more time, please.” His voice is low and you sink your hands in the hair at the nape of Jaehyun’s neck. 

He brings his lips closer to yours and you whisper the words against his pillowy mouth. “Love you.” 

Jaehyun seals his lips to yours with the two words uttered, an overwhelming need to showcase his own love to you through actions. His tongue pasts the seam of your mouth, licking in and breathing hot. You fall easily into his ministrations and let him take control of the night. His stomach sucks in at the submissiveness you ooze, pulling away to place his arms beside your head and lock his elbows. 

His gaze locks onto your glazed eyes and puffy lips, heart lurching. “God, I am the one that belongs to you. I cannot believe you’re real.” 

You turn away, embarrassed. “You can’t say those things so seriously.” 

“It’s true,” Jaehyun whispers to kiss at your jaw, tilting your face up for more area to mark, “I love you so fucking much.” 

Giggling, the sound twinkles in Jae’s ears and he savors it, hands tugging at your waist. He urges you to grind up into him and you do so without complaint. Jaehyun controls your movements and lifts your hips to his crotch. 

Brushing the hair falling into his eyes, you savor the warmth in them. They crinkle at the intensity in which you stare into Jaehyun’s gaze, rarely seeing you get so quiet and attentive like this. 

“You okay, darling?” 

“Hm,” You hum, playing at the thin gold chain on his neck, “Just thinking.” 

“About what?” 

“Can you…” Your face flushes, the desire of playing out your request making your cheeks heat up. 

“What, baby? I’ll do anything you want tonight.” Jaehyun kisses your nose and you scrunch your face at the feeling. His hands roam your sides, now under your short gown and on heated bare skin. He mumbles a low “Warm,” between your breasts, love drunk. 

“Anything?” You clarify.

Jaehyun stills at that. “Well… most things. What do you have in mind?” 

Biting your lip, you look to the ceiling. “Nevermind.” 

He doesn’t waver. “No no, tell me. I won’t be mean.” 

“Promise?” 

Jaehyun smiles at your cuteness. “Yes, you big baby.” 

You pick at your bottom row of teeth. “Can you… um, tie me up again?” 

Your stupid boyfriend smirks. “I’ve tied you up many times before, darling. You’re gonna have to be a little more specific.” 

Horrified at the comment, you slap on his chest lightly. “I mean like… you know, near last spring… finals week…” 

“Uh-huh…” He tongues at his cheek, “Remind me again.”

He pretends to play oblivious with the silliest little smile pasted on, the natural dimples making his arrogant face look more teasing.  

“Jae, please. I seriously cannot say these types of things when I’m not fully turned on, it’s embarrassing.” 

Jaehyun falls onto your hair, laughing earnestly. “Why are you always so scared to say it? It’s only me!” 

“I just said it’s embarrassing!”

He curls his arms around you again, tight hold on your torso. “You seemed to have no shame that day though. I know what you’re talking about.” 

“Exactly my point. So don’t play dumb and pretend you don’t know what I’m saying then.” 

Jaehyun presses his mouth to yours again, the grin he has on morphing the kiss into just a peck. “You’re so adorable. I can’t.” 

“Please just get on with this then, no more talking.” With your whining, Jaehyun chuckles as you pull him closer to your chest. 

Interlocking lips once more, the kisses get more passionate and you tug on his tee roughly. Jaehyun pleases you by allowing you to do the honors for him, his toned skin always a sight for sore eyes. You’re desperate, tugging at his drawstrings (for real this time). 

As if he remembers suddenly, Jaehyun grabs onto your wrists and plants them above your head before finally leaving your bottom lip with a soft bite. Sitting down on his heels, he pulls unties the drawstrings out of his sweats and you quite literally salivate at his veins in his hands flexing. 

Satisfying yourself, you rake your nails through that trail of his. Jaehyun shivers a little at the feeling, watching the molten desire in your irises grow tenfold. 

“You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?” 

“Please just shut up.” 

He squints down at you, watching your pelvis begin to move back and forth on his right thigh. 

“You know, I would usually tell you to watch your mouth and call you a brat but it feels wrong tonight.” 

You moan at the enticement, hating your contradictory ways. Just a little more than half an hour ago, you screamed at him and now you were directly being hypocritical. 

Jaehyun grabs a hold of your neck, kissing you softly once more. “What do you want? Tell me, love.” 

You gather your own hold of his large palm snaked around your neck, guiding him to squeeze just a bit more. “I want you.” 

“Do you want my usual?” He’s being careful and you grin with an uplifted hum. 

“Your wish is my command.” 

With that done and said, Jaehyun pulls you to sit up and tuck your knees to your chest before rolling you over. A squeal later, you allow him to gather your arms to your back. 

“Stay like that,” Jaehyun steps off the bed and gets something from a drawer, making your nerves spike. The drawstring was just there now, what was he going to go get?

Just as you’re about to remind him, you hear the snap of leather and instantly jump and stiffen. A belt. 

Jaehyun runs the material over the skin of your back, watching goosebumps rise along your skin in satisfaction. 

“Color?” He takes the tip down closer to your clothed core and you clench at the feeling. 

“Green, green.” Your breathless reply is slightly muffled from the way your cheek is smushed into the sheets. 

Instead of wrapping the belt around your wrists though, they curl around just below your biceps, above your elbows, and loop behind your back, just tight enough to keep them in a good position. You’re still bound but can easily move your forearms around. 

“Too tight?” 

“No, it’s good.” You attempt to reach for Jaehyun’s palm splayed out on your lower back and it stretches your muscles. Falling back on the action, you abandon the effort to not get a cramp. 

He swipes your hair over your shoulder and repositions you easily, lifting your legs to hike your hips up higher. Jaehyun reaches your clit, already swollen and ready to be stimulated, gently brushing against the nub over your underwear. 

His abdomen stiffens at the sounds you make, so shaky and uncontrollable. Jaehyun wishes he could record it and play it back in his head whenever he wanted to. 

“I’ll be nice tonight. How does that sound, doll?” Two fingers spread your lips, “Good?” 

You grunt in reply, rearing your butt towards Jaehyun’s touch. What you don’t realize is that Jaehyun’s face is there and you bump your clit on his nose. 

“Want me to eat you out?” 

“Fuck, please Jae. Anything, at this point—” Before you can say more, he suctions his lips around your clit and flicks at it with his tongue through the fabric. Writhing at the pleasure, you die to dig your hands into Jaehyun’s wet mop of hair. Your toes curl and fingernails pinch at the skin of your palms, a cry pushing past your lips before you can help it. 

Jaehyun hauls your flimsy excuse of underwear down your legs, not taking the time to hook them off your bottom half all the way before placing the flat on his pink muscle on your lips, thrusting shallowly into your sopping cunt while he massages at the meat of your ass. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat and permitting yourself to drown in how good it feels, your back slackens before your body sinks into the mattress further. 

He doesn’t grant you any reprieve, roughly yanking at your hips to bury his tongue further within your clenching walls. He groans like a man starved as a sharp slap lands on one buttcheek, soothing the burn after by skimming over the newly irritated skin. His expert thumb begins rubbing at your clit, adamant on making you cum from his attentive care. 

Your begs rise into a high-pitch, breathing heavy. Jaehyun’s long arms inch under the hem of your nightgown to tweak at your stiffened nipples, perk and sensitive at the touch. Your severe problem of always moving too much harshly causes Jaehyun to jerk back from your center. You moan at the loss of contact.  

“Baby, behave before I make you, you hear me?” 

“I was getting close, Jae!” 

“No attitude. I don’t wanna punish you right now.” 

You smirk out of breath, knowing Jaehyun will hear the enticement in your words. “If it’ll make you make me cum faster, fuck it.” 

A tight grip wraps around your throat again and you shudder, loving the snugness of the action. It felt natural to have his hand there, so in control of the way you suck in air. 

“You’re testing me.” 

“And?”

You immediately regret your scoff of misconduct, the other cheek he hadn’t harmed earlier, even worse with a sting than the first. 

“I honestly believe you like me treating you like this,” Jaehyun whispers, climbing over your vulnerable figure and in contrast to his unrestrained discipline just seconds ago, languidly grasping at your hair, “Don’t you? You like me, making you wet from the way I do?” 

The gentle fingers that were combing in your hair tangle into an unyielding fist in a flash, forcefully twisting your face in the opposite direction from before. Jaehyun bends close to your heated face, the amusement at your quietness obvious in his curled lips. 

“Gosh… I can’t wait to fuck you into this mattress.” He emphasizes his point by bucking his hips forward and you can feel the hard length through his sweats at your sopping center. You swallow down the moan digging up to your lips. 

“Why so silent suddenly? Finally want to be a good girl and listen?” 

The last sentence makes you grit your teeth. “No, not anymore really.” 

“Fine,” The tone is final. Jaehyun gets out of your space, running his pointer finger down your spine. “All fine by me.” 

Your mind turns at that, confused. You can’t predict what Jae will do next and can’t see well from how you’re positioned. From a guess, Jaehyun has pulled off his sweats at last. 

You instinctively push at the pressure Jaehyun places on your core, swiping through your wetness only to retract a second later. Reminded of your stubborn hold on misbehaving tonight, you still your bottom from desperately bumping back. 

He shifts to kneel right in your eye’s view on the bed, skin a glow from the lamplight on your bed stand. Jaehyun runs a haphazard hand through his damp hair while the other holds his hard member. Your stomach sucks in at the appetizing sight, eyes glued to the way his dick twitches. 

His tight hold of your chin places enough strength in it to heave your upper half from the bed. Jae’s thumb pushes past your closed lips forcefully and then fights past your clenched teeth to plunge three fingers into the tight expanse of your mouth.

You whimper in complaint, his blunt nails scratching at your tongue to produce more saliva. Once satisfied, Jaehyun takes his now-soaked fingertips out, easing your jaw and humming. Thumbing at his blushing red tip with your saliva, he pinches your cheeks and pouts mockingly. 

“Since you were so impatient, you’re going to have to wait a little longer now. How does that sound?” 

Now you genuinely whine, helplessly watching as he lubricates himself with your spit and starts pumping with a firm clutch and loose wrist. Jaehyun throws his head back, eyes lidded and thick neck showcased. 

Your fingers physically wiggle in the complaint. You can only hold yourself back for so long. The groan of gratification that escapes Jaehyun has you break in resolve, unable to handle watching this. 

“Jae, please!” 

He laughs with the hottest smile on. It sounds so damn attractive, you tremble. “No, I don’t give a shit. Just lay there with your needy cunt in the air and watch me.” 

“Please, no. No no, you said you’d be nice.” Fighting to inch closer, at last, Jaehyun looks down at you and pushes hair away from your pained face. 

“Color?” 

“Green, Jae. Fuck.” 

“You want me to be nice?” 

Nodding resolutely, your mewl does little to deter Jaehyun from still jerking off. He licks at his lower lip, in dire need to compete with your strong will. 

“Then beg.” 

Huffing, you close your eyes. “Please.” 

“Do better.” 

The slick sounds of his hand moving on his member have your walls clenching down on nothing. 

“Please, Jae. Please.” 

“God, I wanna paint that pretty face of yours.” Your eyes are getting wet from how desperate you are.

Ass wriggling in the air, you sob out, “I can’t stand it anymore, Jae, I swear if you don’t fucking do something right now—!” 

He chuckles and takes his hand away from his dick. Going down to plant a peck on your raw-bitten lips, Jaehyun gives into your commands without any more delays. 

“So needy, my girl.” 

Your thighs shake in anticipation, warm hands enveloping your waist and tugging it flush to Jaehyun’s stiff member. He ruts between your legs, bumping into your sensitive clit. You can’t hide your yearning anymore, moaning from the simplicity of being touched anywhere near your core again. 

Jaehyun seizes the bottom of your thin gown, wrinkling it in his journey to shove it up to your armpits. You clamp down on the light silk material for Jaehyun to roam your breasts easier. Your shared moans of gratification at his tip catching on your entrance forces your butt to ram back.

“I gotta prepare you first, darling, relax for a second,” Jaehyun mutters breathless, quickly playing with your wetness now. 

“No, no, I’m good. Please, Jae, I need you right now. Green, green, green.” You couldn’t care less how whiney you sounded anymore. 

He sinks a finger into your hot walls and instantly starts pumping in and out, groaning obscenely at the temperature and feeling his balls tighten. 

“I can’t, I’ll hurt you.” 

“I couldn't care less right now, baby, please. Green!” 

Jaehyun adds another finger, curling and scissoring to make sure. The whimpers flying out your mouth work in combination with the signature hard quivering of your entire body. From being held on the edge for so long, he isn’t surprised you’re on the cusp of an orgasm.

“I’m so close, Jae, I can’t—” 

Rocking fast in tandem with Jaehyun’s thrusting hand, you come hard, moaning long into the sheets and drooling. You barely register Jaehyun retracting from your insanely tight pussy, only to replace his long fingers with his round tip. 

Shoving past your clenched entrance, you’re worked into oversensitivity, edging on delicious pain and pleasure as Jaehyun knocks his way into you. Meek noises spill past your mouth, fully heard as soon as Jaehyun roughly tugs at the belt locking your biceps back. You’re lifted off the mattress as Jaehyun leans back, using his weight to drive back into your spasming walls with force.

Breathless as he curses, his other free hand that gripped your left hip goes to yank at your hair. Jaehyun prods at a spot he’s never reached before and you jerk at the sensation, vocal cords being ripped to shreds at the noises you’re making. 

Unable to handle the position anymore, Jaehyun forces your front to lay flat, practically mounting you as he kneels on the bed. He digs his hand to position under your belly while the other arm’s elbow locks beside your head. 

He knocks at your chin to mouth at your shoulder, the guttural growl that sounds out just at your ear has your cunt tightening. 

“Fuck, I can feel myself, right here,” Jaehyun pushes up at your soft belly, placing pressure on his cock working in and out of you. He whispers his next sentence but you catch it easily. 

“Wanna knock you up so damn bad.” 

The words make you cry out and you abandon your laxness, pushing your ass up to meet Jaehyun now. 

“Oh, you want that? Hm? You want me to fill you up, stuff you full?” 

You curse, nodding your head because no sensible words will come out from how well you’re being pounded. Jaehyun spreads your cheeks, pulling away from your upper half to work into you faster and chase his high. 

With a drawn-out groan, he releases into you, slowly easing out as he goes and pumps himself of everything he has. Jaehyun paints your pussy with his final spurt, collapsing with only his upper half on the sheets to watch you ooze out his essence. 

“Holy… fucking shit, I love you.” 

You’re too tired to even reply, kicking your calves in the air and spreading your thighs at the command of Jaehyun. At his prodding this time, you utter, “Yellow,” pulling Jaehyun’s hand away from your puffy cunt. 

“You okay, love?” Jaehyun throws himself while catching his breath on the bed, laying beside you as he undoes the belt with haste. You spread your arms at freedom, tiredly rubbing at the red spots created from the belt. 

“Baby?” Jae tilts up in concern.

“Oh, sorry. Yes, I’m okay, sorry.” He runs up to kiss your mouth, while at it, tugging at your waist and laying you down on top of his chest. 

He’s rubbing his cheek against yours, placing the softest kisses on every inch of your face in adoration. You giggle at the sensation of one on your nose again, eyes closed but feeling the way Jaehyun grins broadly at the sound. 

“Can you say it one more time? One more?” 

His voice is deep but oh so light; you smile and open your eyelids to absorb Jaehyun’s plea properly. 

“You gonna keep making me reiterate myself so much?”

Jaehyun nods cutely. Landing a long, loving kiss on his plush lips, you tell him again. You’ve told him and will tell him for as long as you will live: 

“I love you.”

[snicker-snacc]

I’m starting a new thread due to the length of the last one, but thank you for tagging me @fromtheoatfield!! Seeing this when I woke up was like injecting pure serotonin in my brain <3 

anyway here’s the rest of the thread i got tagged in, jic anyone is nosy

https://at.tumblr.com/fromtheoatfield/oh-and-this-hi-thank-you-for-tagging-me-i/6a059b0k5w9n

1. Three ships: oh god oh no I’m about to out my last like 3 hyperfixations in one go because I have a habit of discarding the fandom but keeping my favorite ships in my heart. ANYWAY we have:

Royai (Roy x Riza) from Fullmetal Alchemist

Klance (Keith x Lance) from Voltron: Legendary Defender 

Davekat (Dave x Karkat) from Homestuck (please don’t crucify me on the spot, they’re just too cute I can’t help it)

2. First ship ever: heuuuuughhdsfksd it was probably from warriors, so probably Sandstorm and Firestar because I’ve just had a soft spot for enemies to lovers for my entire life ig

3. Currently listening to: I’m just gonna throw out the songs that have the heaviest rotation for me rn: 

Raise the Dead by Insane3lik3 & Colordrive 

Kill the Noise by Me Not You

Shockwave by Marshmello

Separate Ways (cover) by Daughtry & Lzzy Hale 

Love From the Other Side (Fall Out Boy) 

(hey fromtheoatfield, wanna make a note real quick that IDKHBTFM is a dope band and I appreciate that you also like them)

4. Last move watched: Guys I don’t watch movies. Not because I hate them but because I never get around to it. I think the last one I saw was Wakanda Forever in theaters with some friends. 

5. Currently reading: HAHAHAH my list of paused books is a mile long lmaoooo but I have to read “Emily Wilde’s Encyclopedia of Faeries” as a bookclub book with my coworkers and I’m reading “How to Murder Your Employer” in the breakroom, which comes out in February I believe! 

6. Currently watching: I am SLOWLY, at the speed of molasses, getting through Made In Abyss Season 2, Jojo Part 4 and the og Trigun, all of which are fantastic and I wish I had more time to watch

7. Currently consuming: My morning coffee <3 the lifeblood of my life and my reason for existing 

8. Currently Craving: I just got ramen last night so I’m only craving the usual --  pasta, breakfast potatoes, and mac n cheese. 

Thank you again for the tag!! <3 I’m tagging @howwnowbrowncoww @the-new-universe-change @lessrthanthree @thegoatsba (if you’re still online lmao) @raekuu and anyone else who wants to who’s tag I might be forgetting. Go nuts! 

[female-malice]

What is stopping us from starting lots of little salon/house party/hangout networks?

Besides the pandemic I mean lol but this could be like tailored to the situation. Urban parks exist and some events could be there for the cautious or just outdoors lovers

I already have a (very new) library book club group and I’ve thought hm, when this has been around for a year I want to start inviting everyone who sticks around to my apartment on the regular. I mean not just like friends but more of an open “go ahead and invite your own friends too” situation for women

When I ask myself what’s stopping me most, for real, it’s fear of assholes, thieves (even if I understand why some steal), political hot points among lesbians and “lesbians” leading to cool new social circle -> circle of people who hate each other and ruin each other’s lives, and just the other kind of risks anyone always runs opening their lives to a wide circle of acquaintances and new people. How to deal?

Honestly, still a dope idea. Urban separatism >>> hippy forest cults every day of the week.

Also... can't we just have NORMAL women's agriculture and sustainability? Without the political lesbian hippy alternative medicine vibe?

I think a good metric for female separatism is the "Sophie" metric. I'm making it up as we speak. Sophie is a pro basketball player. A straight farm girl from Missouri. She's a beast physically. Like 6'1" 180 lbs of power. She's capable and skilled at a blue collar trade. She also ended up in a pro sport where straight women are the minority. She's not exactly liberal. She's religious. I doubt she even votes at all. But most of her bosses, mentors, and coworkers are lesbian women and black women.

Some fans canceled her for saying female athletes deserve better than being forced to compete against trans women lol. Problematic queen.

Anyway, the Sophie metric is simple. Is your female separatist project Sophie friendly? Is your project open to any woman with relevant skills who works well with others? Women's basketball is Sophie friendly even though she isn't politically correct.

But I really doubt the Sophies of the world want to lend their skills to political lesbian feminist women's land. Sophie has no problems working with and befriending gay women. But no one at her job is hassling her about her personal life or spirituality or politics. She chooses to spend 90% of her time around only other women. But I doubt she's ever read about separatist theory. She simply enjoys the female camaraderie in her line of work.

That should be the goal, really. Separatism should tap into women's instinctive drive for female camaraderie. The theory and books and ivory tower academic side doesn't matter if the Sophies of the world aren't interested.

[nerds-escape]

Hi I am now in an anti-Snape mood so...here we go.

Quick preface before we begin: I will be talking about abuse and some other topics, I’ll put trigger warnings at the beginning of everything

NOTE: This is based off my experience as a person who was abused by both friends and family as well as a disabled person and a person who has been sexually harassed and something I don’t even know the term for it was somewhere in between sexual harassment and sexual assault.

“He was Abused as a Child”

TW: Abuse

I know it’s mentioned a lot but just because Snape was abused doesn’t mean he was destined to be a bad person, in fact, when someone says that, it makes it a lot harder for people to come to terms with what has happened. As a person who was manipulated and belittled my entire life I would like to say: I have been told I am a good person so I think I’m a good person, really it’s kind of subjective. But if you want to know some things so you can judge for yourself (a lot of these things had to be put on hold because of the pandemic which is why I’m using past tense):

I taught mentally and physically disabled kids how to swim

I had good grades

I work four jobs so I can pay to go to Uni

I have a hard time setting boundaries which means whenever someone ask me to do something, I do it out of fear of disappointing them (not a good thing but a thing none the less)

I was captain of the swim team

I was in a club that the soul purpose was to raise money for a children’s hospital

I spend a lot of my time volunteering

I know this sounds like I’m patting my own back but I just want you to understand who I am as a person. I like to think I’m a good person but it’s up to you if you believe that or not.

I have lost my autonomy due to my trauma. Every other word coming out of my mouth is sorry because I have been trained to believe everything is my fault. It took me years of therapy and talking with friends to figure that out.

The other day I asked my coworker if I could go to the bathroom because everything in my life I have had to tiptoe around and get express permission on including going to the restroom at times.

Obviously everyone reacts to abuse and trauma differently but having a villain and saying that they are bad because of the abuse they faced is just not it.

Source:

I don’t really know why you need sources on my abuse but here are some sources on trauma and how it can effect kids

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/isitptsd/common_reactions.asp

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK207191/

https://www.kempe.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/The_Battered_Child_Syndrome.pdf

“The Marauders Sexually Assaulted/Harassed Snape”

TW: sexual assault/harassment

AMAB sexual assault and harassment is a real thing that needs to be talked about more, and something that shouldn’t be used to win an argument.

Snape Stans can’t seem to decide if this is sexual assault or sexual harassment. At most it is sexual harassment, this isn’t to say that sexual harassment is something to scoff at, this is to ask: pick one because saying these two are the same things is wildly misleading so stop using these words interchangeably.

Stop using male victims and survivors as trophies for your arguments. Did you know that 1 out of every 10 rape survivors are men? This is a real issue so don’t use it as a defense because guess what? It also makes makes men of sexual abuse seem like they are villains. 

Pantsing was just a thing that happened when I was in grade school. Does that make it okay? No. But pantsing is mainly considered “schoolyard fun” especially when it’s between two people of the same sex. Again. Does this make it okay? No. Do I believe what James did was okay? No. But you can not tell me that if you got pantsed and your best friend was there to comfort you, would you call them a slur? I wouldn’t.

Sources: https://wlv.openrepository.com/bitstream/handle/2436/96284/Duncan_PhDthesis.pdf?sequence=2&isAllowed=y

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantsing

Yes I am using Wikipedia as a source because they have some good sources attached.

“He was Abused by Muggles and that’s why he Hated Them”

Okay and? He knew good muggles. I was abused by men. Does that mean I want all men dead? No. I have been abused by women. Does that mean I want all women dead? No! I could go on for a while of people who have abused me and I can tell you right now I don’t want any of those groups of people dead because guess what: those groups did nothing.

“Sirius Tried to Kill Him”

Yeah, no.

Nobody forced Snape to go there. Was it fucked up for Sirius to do that? Yeah. Like really fucked up but Snape didn’t have to go. He knew what he was getting himself into. He suspected Lupin to be a werewolf. He didn’t have to go to the shrieking shack.

I genuinely don’t think that Sirius thought this one through. To him Moony wasn’t a vicious creature, he had fun playing with Padfoot and he never hurt Padfoot so to Sirius it didn’t even cross his mind that he might be putting Snape in a dangerous situation.

That’s one theory, there are many theories and we don’t know why Sirius did it all we know is that Prongs saved Snape’s life. And Snape hated James for that. Which to be fair if someone saved my life I would probably be pissed off too but that’s besides the point.

“Snape Loved Lily”

No. Snape has the same energy as the guy who I blocked on Instagram after I repeatedly told him to stop something and then made four accounts just to keep texting me and went as far as to find and harass my friends. Same Energy.

“Their patroni match UwU” shut up. No. James’s patronus was a stag a stags mate is a doe, Lily’s was a doe. Snape’s was a doe as well. Now listen I’m down for two dope ass lesbian does but as we know because J*R that was not the case. That was an obsession. If you think that’s what love it like you are going to have very toxic relationships in your life and quite honestly lowkey concerned for you and/or your future, current, and/or past partners.

“He’s a good teacher he was keeping up the act”

No! Teachers abusing students is a real thing, what’s ever worse (as if that’s already bad enough) school was Harry’s safe haven. Now you could say the same for Snape, sure but Snape could defend himself against the Marauders. Choose your fighter: Eleven year old Harry who just learned that magic was a thing and that his parents didn’t die in a car crash vs Thirty-One year old Snape, a teacher. Let me tell you as a person who was bullied by her peers, when my sixth grade math teacher called me stupid, it had a lot greater of an impact than a student pushing me into the lockers.

Teachers are supposed to teach regardless of if they want to fuck your mom or not. It wasn’t only Harry that he was terrible to either.

Also see this entire article to disprove your point:

https://www.learningforjustice.org/magazine/fall-2014/abuse-of-power

Sources:

https://isiarticles.com/bundles/Article/pre/pdf/130622.pdf

Also refer to the article above as well.

I am done with my source arguments here is just a fun tidbit

My abusers favorite character is Snape and and he said he fully understands Snape...

Anyways I will be sending this to all people who try to argue with me about Snape.

[static-fanatic-1]

What kind of darling does Chrollo, Shalnark, Feitan, Shizuku, Illumi, Kurapika and Silva prefer? Your blog is amazing💕Please keep it up

Chrollo:

• Chrollo's type is the opposite of himself. He would obsess over someone who is kind and generous, someone he doesn't completely understand on a emotional level.

• The person he falls for would be an angel in a sense, being nice to strangers and giving trust too easily. He would love someone who smiles a lot, it would be adorable.

• He would want someone who can take care of themselves but also relies heavily on social contact. Chrollo wants someone who knows how to wipe their own ass but needs to talk to people to stay happy and healthy. He wants someone who will begrudgingly love to be held by him, after all he did kidnap you.

• Defiantly someone who can keep conversations, typically the philosophical ones. He wants to hear opinions on someone that is the complete opposite of him. He would also want that person to be mentally strong in the sense they don’t change their minds easily. Example being if you guys were talking and he made a good point on being selfish, you would keep your philosophy of being kind. He doesn’t want to change you as much as he wants to challenge you.

Shalnark:

• Shalnark probably would love to have an innocent darling with a dirty side. Like you would be a super nice and sensible person on the outside, but on the inside you make sex tapes or something.

• I can easily see him being interested in your kindness just to be reeled in by your dirty side.

• Shal would love to watch you through some cameras in your house pleasure yourself, and just talk to your coworkers like you are a saint. He would love how nice you are on the outside, similar to himself, just so he could whisper in your ear the dirty things you enjoy. He would love to see your shock and love even more to partake in those dirty things with you.

• His type would be a guilty pleasure, a hidden gem. He would like to hav someone who knows what is going on, someone sensible and smart enough. He wants someone who is pretty independent as well, as he would like to make you dependent on him for money or a home.

Feitan:

• He wants someone strong and stubborn, someone who can take a punch in the face and smile just to stand their ground. Feitan wants someone who has a high to medium pain tolerance as well.

• The short dude needs someone who will bite their tongue and won’t scream often when in pain, but when it comes to snarky remarks his darling snaps back with ferocity. When he is torturing you he wants you to tell him to fuck off while you are bleeding with broken bones. He needs you to bite his fingers when he teases you, glare at him when he smiles at you, he wants someone strong that won’t break easily.

• By being someone mentally strong he also wants someone physically strong as well, not exactly body builder but someone who can hold a decent struggle against him.

• Feitan doesn’t care if you are that smart, honestly if you can entertain him it is plenty. Entertaining him would be extremely difficult and being his darling would literally be torture. It might seem he has low standards, but his few standards are so high that it would be difficult for him to find his perfect type.

Shizuku:

• This adorable dope, I honestly thing she is cute. Her type would probably be someone smart enough to keep her slightly in check but not smart enough to completely run away from her.

• She wants someone who can make sure she doesn’t miss anything, like if she meets someone they can remind her that they have actually met. She would make her darling be an extra brain cell.

• I can see her being interested in her darling’s looks and then personality. The personality would probably be something along the lines of confidently kind. Like she probably would notice your confidence in some stressful situations or stressful people—she could easily be considered a stressful person— and then your brotherly/sisterly kindness to your friends.

• She would make sure you stay with her and treat her as such, a very close friend. She would need you to tell her something she might miss, and whenever she forgets what shame is she’ll need you to give up your jacket.

Illumi:

• Someone strong yet motherly, physically strong to be exact. I think he wants someone who can take a punch yet knows when to back down from a difficult fight. He wants someone who can give him strong offspring yet is too scared to truly fight him back.

• Illumi will look for a beautiful woman, probably someone strong enough to become a pro hunter if they wanted to. He would find someone of interest and make sure they are a motherly person at heart. Someone who will protect others even when they could get hurt, but when it comes to themselves they won’t be afraid to turn tail and run.

• He’s a cautious man, so he would want someone to be as cautious as himself. He wants someone to protect too, but not someone weak enough to break or die easily. He wants strong genetics, so if you are related to someone strong he would want you more.

• Expect Illumi to kidnap you and keep you in his wing of the mansion, so having someone submit to him would be better on his part. I mean if you find yourself being taken by a Zoldyck he would want you to understand you have no choice in the matter.

Silva:

• Silva doesn’t care how strong or how powerful your parents are, he’s pretty different. He doesn’t care how beautiful or how physically strong you are, instead he wants your personality and mental fortitude.

• When he obsesses over someone he first sees their personality, they will be kind and generous, always willing to help others over their own expense. Silva would quickly obsess over you if you are like this.

• Not just your generosity will catch his attention. Next he will see how you are mentally flexible with situations and able to conjure up creative ideas. The man will adore how even when you are locked up with him you still keep a sense of humor and lightheartedness to your situation. You try to make the best of it despite it being so horrible.

• He loves how you look once he begins to obsess over you. And your kindness and mental strength is what makes him fall for you.

Kurapika:

• Motherly, simply a motherly type of person would make him head over heels. When he finds someone they will be a calm individual, able to calm him down when he is beyond pissed off.

• He wants someone who loves kids and wants kids like he does, even if it isn’t to his extreme. Kurapika also wants someone who won’t break after having kids. He wants someone who will keep going because they loves their children.

• They want you to be loving and kind and willing to calm him down. Though when he kidnaps you you probably won’t be willing. Despite this he loves the motherly personality and for him it is pretty much what sells him.

• I think what he also wants is someone who has his eyes, but that probably wouldn’t happen. The other thing would be he wants someone that would submit to him yet won’t be too fearful of him. After all it would be annoying to have you always try and run from his advances.