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I watched episode 4 of whitepine a few days ago. I'm still incredibly unnormal about it it's so good btw
#I've just been super sick o7#Havent had the energy to post about it#But my goodness is it so good#Also I love vi so much#I outloud went awww when they did that little jump they are so cute <3<3#馃悰 <- murmuring
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Hiiiiiii. Episode 25/26 lawlight analysis rant thingy here. I don't know how to write an intro for this so let's just get to it LOL
I think one of the reasons that the rain/foot scenes stick out so much (the. Sheer insanity of a Foot Massage Scene in an anime revolving around two guys trying to kill each other aside 馃拃) is the fact that the anime specifically suffers a bit in terms of adapting a few of the "emotional" moments in death note.
And I don't mean "emotionally impactful" exactly. For example I think the adaptations of scenes like Raye and Naomi's deaths were very impactful and the atmospheres of their final scenes were great, but I mean more from a characterization standpoint (if that makes sense). Being more focused on mind and logic games, Death Note as a whole isn't as invested in individual characters' deeper feelings as it is in its action (which isn't necessarily a criticism per say, it's simply part of the nature of a mystery thriller series). But just because they're fewer and farther between doesn't mean there are none at all. In the manga we do get to see, for example, how much Light actually cared for his family and especially Sayu, and how he actually felt more conflicted and suffered lack of sleep/appetite when he first used the Death Note.
The anime specifically as an adaptation is pretty good at adapting the main mind fuckery and action of Death Note, but its lacking in properly adapting scenes like the ones I mentioned above is a criticism I see somewhat often, and it's pretty fair imo. Compared to all the other adaptations, it certainly seems to fall short on an emotional level: the musical has entire songs going in depth about the characters feelings and relationships, the 2015 jdrama is. Insane and has its emotional moments in spades (because it's a TV drama, which are more focused on portraying emotional conflict and the like), even the 2006 movies has its emotional beats and L Change the WorLd is. Well. Oh Man.
Anime Light to a lot of people is like. Light but he's "already evil" (which I have my own thoughts on but I digress). Light but after using the Death Note for like 2 minutes he's already like "fuck yeah time to kill criminals". Basically the anime doesn't take as much time to delve into his less cynical sides or really delve into his already vague and harder to decipher feelings in general, he is noticeably colder from the get-go here, etc.
But that's part of why I think episode 25 manages to stand out so much tonally (apart from it being, y'know, the episode L literally Dies). I love the episode so much and could probably rant for hours about how much I love the artistic choices made in it but what I'm trying to get at here is that it's one of the very few moments where the show tries to go deeper into specific character's emotions, and one of the very few moments where the show Attempts (emphasis on "attempts" because, well, you'll see in a bit) to get more in-depth into Light's feelings apart from his cynicism/apathy/justice. ness.
L in these two scenes in episode 25 is, well, pretty damn open about how he feels. It's usually interpreted as him knowing that he's going to die, and you can see it. He visibly looks/sounds lost, somber, etc. He never really had much to hide around Light to begin with (since he doesn't really care about hiding himself the same way Light does) but especially not now and it Shows, and I personally thought it was pretty cool to delve into his thoughts/show how he feels this way. The somberness can be felt throughout the entire scene, even people who don't already know the plot of Death Note from the manga could probably tell that he's about to die.
In the manga, once L starts suspecting Misa again and Rem realizes what Light is trying to do, it goes straight to Watari and L's deaths, but the anime instead gives a distinct and unexpected pause in the middle of this where L contemplates his own death. It's fucking great, and the shift from straight action to slower emotional weight makes these scenes stand out a lot, since, like I said, the show usually focuses more on the former. But it's kind of ironic, too.
Not only does the anime open up L's feelings more in these scenes, but it also tries to dig deeper into Light's feelings as well through L. And it's really funny honestly because while, yes, these are the more "emotionally open" scenes of the anime Light still manages to be Incredibly avoidant and contribute almost nothing to the entire ordeal.
L is visibly upset -> "Yeah Ryuzaki, you're not making any sense at all" (Not addressing the obvious conflict from L)
"Tell me, Light. From the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" -> "[The most stale, over-explained, avoidant answer to a "yes/no" question that you could ever hear + blatant attempts to reframe the question]"
(L's half-smile here kills me) "I had a feeling you'd say something like that" -> [Nothing]
"I'm sorry" -> [Nothing]
"It'll be lonely won't it? You and I will be parting ways soon" -> [Nothing]
^ From this point Light continues to say literally Nothing for the rest of the scene. I'm not even joking, from then on the rest of Light's voicelines are reduced to nothing but vague noises of confusion.
Everytime L calls Light out as a person ("Has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" / "I had a feeling you'd say something like that." / "Won't it be lonely?") he doesn't actually acknowledge anything. Out of those three lines, he only answers verbally to if he's ever told the truth, and even then it's the most blatantly people-pleasing answer ever, as it usually is with Light. And I don't think it's because Light just. Doesn't care about any of what L's saying at all, or that he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about (questioning Light's authenticity as a person, saying it would be lonely when they part), instead he's choosing not to acknowledge any of what this means about himself or him and L at all. He's like a fucking wall.
And like, for the truth question in particular, the show makes sure that you know it's not something that Light just. Doesn't care enough about to answer. The hard cuts to silence are a very rare but extremely effective way that the show conveys an extremely important moment (see: Light regaining his memories, Matsuda noticing Light opening the warehouse door before he escapes (not as much of a "direct" cut to silence but still)), and cuts to multiple angles/framings/zooms of the exact same shot are also used for the same purpose (see: Light hugging Misa when she was crying, Matsuda aiming his gun to shoot Light, Light regaining his memories Again). Just like the scene where Light gets his memories back, the moment L's question finishes the show utilizes both. That question cut Deep. There's is a solid Almost 5 seconds of silence before the sound of the rain gradually starts fading back in, and honestly that should be telling enough as is (but of course Light doesn't actually admit that. Or anything at all really, so). Oh also another fun detail! We do not see Light's face At All (except for the shot where you can see his mouth moving but not his eyes), for the Entire time that he's going on his spiel to L. We Will Be Revisiting This Later, by the way. This is not, in fact, the first time you're going to see this detail from Light.
The only sort of reciprocation that we see from Light during Any of these two scenes is when Light dries L's hair while L dries his feet. Biblical meanings/references aside it's interesting because it's the only time he directly does anything "for" L in these scenes, but even then he doesn't try to pass it off as anything meaningful really the same way L does ("You're still soaked", a purely neutral and factual statement. It doesn't Add Anything compared to L's. Sin atonement loneliness grieving stuff. While Light is showing his own reciprocation to this more personal moment he also tries to keep it impersonal enough that it doesn't actually have to mean anything deep). And when L says "I'm sorry" after he once again gets no response from Light. It's also after this that L gets that pained look on his face, like he knows that at this point he's not actually going to get anything meaningful from Light (again, very significant and rare from L in the show. We've seen him in distress (see: when Ukita died, hell, when Watari dies), but even then he mostly manages to keep his usually neutral expression), we never see him "look sad" like he does here):
I just think it's interesting that this is one of the few scenes in this particular adaptation of Death Note where they try to open up the character's thoughts/feeling (especially considering the fact that they. lowkey blunder in adaptations of original scenes from the manga), and L himself is being rather open (not that he ever really tries to hide what he thinks nearly as much as Light), and yet all Light contributes to it in return is like. Actually nothing. Bro fumbled it. There is no resolution to any of this, to any of what L asks at all, to any of the many opportunities for a meaningful conversation, and the only thing even relatively close to an answer that you can get from Light is what you can infer from how he acts in the episode after L dies, where he's just going through the motions, but hardly acting as if he's actually living at all.
(Honestly I think the transition from this scene with the taskforce to the subsequent scene with Misa says enough on its own. Light's expressions and tone says everything:)
(Oh sidenote but. This shit again:
"Light, this is our first date in forever. can't you enjoy yourself a little more?" ('Why don't you seem happy? We can finally be together since L is dead') -> No response, Light instead changing the topic to him wanting to move in with Misa without changing his mannerisms at all
Also there's that one detail again. You pretty much don't see Light's expression when he speaks here at all, except for one shot of his eyes, which is quite literally the exact same shot they used when he "saw" L, just altered for the new setting. You have No idea what he looks like when he's responding to Misa, although it's probably fair to assume that it's the same empty stare he has for the whole Two Shots where you can clearly see his whole expression in the entire scene.
Something something Light Yagami bad at feelings I think you get the point though)
I guess Light's Kind of showing what he's feeling now? He'll admit to himself that it's boring without L, but no more than that. Light never actually admits to anything "significant", and L's dead already anyway, so what would that even do?
And then we get, uh. Basically nothing from Light. For the next 5 Years. Except that he joined the NPA, so, uh, yay? Good job, Light you totally nailed it! Thank you for allowing us as an audience to delve deeper into your inner thoughts and feelings as a character so we can find out more about you as a person! Very helpful! Thank you for not sabotaging one of your few dedicated opportunities to look into yourself as a person and reflect on your relationships with others and being 100% honest with yourself! We stay winning guys.
Anyway, this got way too long for a scene that's over a decade old, and I've probably just said everything that everyone else has already said in this fandom before. But unfortunately this has been living in my head for way too long and I must scream. I just think this episode's neat is all :)
tl;dr Part of the reason why the rain/foot scene (tbh episode 25 in General) stands out so much is because the Death Note anime specifically was a bit robbed in terms of its more emotional character moments compared to the other medias, which makes more somber/introspective scenes like the ones in episode 25 stand out a Lot in comparison. But it's also incredibly ironic because it's one of the few moments where the show (or specifically L) tries to look deeper into Light's character, but because he is so avoidant for the entire duration of these two scenes he adds basically nothing at all. It's almost funny. Mostly sad. It's also very gay. Aand post
Okay actually nevermind one more thing I talked about how the jdrama is supposed to be more emotionally in-depth because it is a TV Drama and just for the record, same thing happens there! I could probably do an entire analysis of the Blue Scene in this context like I did with episode 25 but I'd literally be here forever, so uh, just take this iconic line as my main example:
Same Thing. L's statement "I wish we could have met some other way" is personal. It's his own wish, his own regret that he is expressing to Light. While Light's reply obviously has that same regret implied it's also phrased in a specifically impersonal way. It's closed off. "This is the only way we could have met" it closes off the topic and simply renders L's wish as ultimately futile. Light does not say that he Also wishes he could have met L a different way even if it was likely impossible, instead it's a cold statement of cynical fact.
Idk just. Something something L being able and Willing to be more openly sentimental/emotionally open towards Light/about Light vs. Light's inability to be honest with anyone including himself and his own nature preventing any form of meaningful reciprocation. Something something self-sabotage, y'know the drill. God don't even get me Started on how sincere L's tone is when he says "It'll be lonely won't it?"(at least in the eng dub) in the anime I could talk about his tone in that scene for ages. Also yes all of this relates to L Change the WorLd too by the way. Don't ask how it just does okay.
I do think that scenes like these (rain/foot scene, The Blue Scene. Uh. L Change the WorLd The Novel Adaptation) show, at least in those adaptations, that L does genuinely care for Light, and show that he values him as a friend not just in the mindgame-equal sense but also just like, a more sincere sense you know. Idk if that made any sense and that's a whole other topic for another day but you guys just have to believe me on this one alright please please believe me buries head in hands. Okay post over finally thanks for coming to my tedtalk hope you enjoyed my very-unnecessarily long analysis of the week
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#death note anime#coda analyzes stuff#sorry this is all very scattered and probably doesn't make sense i wrote this on a whim one day and then the post had a mind of its own#this was originally gonna be shorter but then light yagami (derogatory) happened#it was so difficult to avoid going on 27450438 different tangents i love this series btw#you know my post about LCtW parallels with Light post L's death. yeah pretend i copy pasted that whole analysis here too#it also applies and is very relevant#death note multiverse my beloved i will love you forever#i just ran this through a word counter 1K+ word rant about these scenes. in 2024. God i'm Cooked#^ LMAOOOOOOOO (laughs in ~2.5K wordcount weeks later at the time of finally finishing writing this) god I Hate it here#also sorry i havent been posting a lot of art lately i'm busy and i've decided to save up all my Art Energy for lawlight week#so i've just been finishing off and posting analysis that have been floating in my drafts.lawlight stp au parallels/notes are probably next#sorry not sorry </3
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diversity win your spam emails are queer
#deltarune#spamton#swatch#art#doodles#pansexual#lgbt#bigshot spamton#stupid joke ive had sitting in my head for months whjbfghbjdfg. artist brain override gay brain (me too). good for him though!!#me refilling my printer ink tanks: omg my printer is pan... soooo coool....#and dont forget that he owned the mettaton dress of transgenderism either. arguably this has the trans flag colors too#wait theres a car joke here also. TransAm? more like TransPan. haha nice#+ his glasses fit the theme so Bonus Spam + i changed my 90s swat a little again#they're just gonna be different every time i draw them. for funsies. and thats fine. i havent even posted 90s queen yet SMFH !!!!!#there's something to be said about metaphors in their 90s fashion choices. something something more colorful design back then#something something not hiding their eyes yet something something Learned A Lesson....#you could read that a certain way. or perhaps not#obligatory 'my swatch uses they them' tag#obligatory 'fine to tag as ship if you want idc' tag#obligatory 'oh god i swear im trying so hard to draw and post more' tag#i saw a tag on a post from like 2019 that said 'man i only posted 9 times last month!' and im like. god. i wish i could post 9 times a#month Now???? honey you had a big storm comin#i just keep starting things i dont have the energy to finish. except for a silly gay color profile joke apparently#im sure the Smoke Smell goes reeeal good with the Dumpster Smell btw.
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Btw just want to be clear that Time and Time Again is set to, and will if I don't pause, conclude in May 2025!
Webtoon didn't want to renew or give me any extra episodes so I'm trying to work with what I have. I'm sorry it's ending sooner than I'd like, it's been difficult to come to terms with and challenging to condense my plans.
You deserve a solid conclusion, and I've spent months writing to try and reach that. If there's anything you'd really like to see before it ends, do let me know in case I can (and want to) fit it in.
I'd rather not work with them again, and I hope I won't have to! But coming off of years being overworked and underpaid does not make that easy, to say the least...
I'm doing my best, and I hope you like what I have coming up.
#years of being overworked. underpaid. and literally manipulated and gaslit lmfao#it does not feel good to beg to be treated equally. and then told to be satisfied with less than that#it has been repeatedly demoralizing and insulting#and im not doing it again#i would rather nanny again (most exhausting job ive ever had) than work with them again#but. i would rather not!#I'd rather continue to make comics#but to do it full time i would need like 500 patrons on the $5 tier minimum...#which is SO MANY PEOPLE and incomprehensible to me#ive already proven to myself i can live on 25k a year but obviously its tight (i live in socal)#this. is not what this post is about#it's so hard for me not to complain about them#i feel bad for my current patrons i only share stuff on discord as of right now#well i do the merch packages but like#it's mostly just my discord#just dont have the time or energy to manage my patreon#cause idk if yall know but patreons site is TERRIBLE from the creator side???#it takes like 5 minutes to upload a single post it's ridiculous#so i cant manage it rn. I've thought about hiring someone to help me with it but i cant afford any help#anyways ultimately this is informing people its gonna end#and is turning into a vent around all of the stress surrounding that#like i literally had to take a couple months to just be sad its gonna end and come to terms with that#its hard! it's hard feeling so tossed aside and having your stories controlled even in part by someone else#anyways yeah#i havent finished writing the last arc yet#so theres space for me to fit stuff if theres something people really want#so id like to get in what i could if i can!#text post#sorry i always turn any thoughts about comics into vents about webtoon#theyre so ass man..... it's fine. im gone in may...
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i have been awake since 1:30 am. merry christmas
#professor layton#jean descole#oc x canon#i havent had the energy to draw in a few days but that might change today after i sleep idk#ive slept an hour and a half and have been awake since 1:30 life is pain#so ig heres my post merry Christmas everyone#love when your 30 year old boyfriend will not stop telling you about the most asinine shit you have never heard of#marshall pinheiro#shitpost#my ocs
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Sighs deeply
Stumbles upright and holds up a finger like a drunken bar patron delivering a speech
We don't absorb art with the idea that the creator is morally pure in the first place. We aren't reading books written by minor gods or automatons, but people, people who have yelled at their loved ones and looked the other way when they saw someone who needed help and nodded along to heinous ideas because they wanted to keep the peace. Those things are always part of the art.
I'm tired of seeing conversations about separating something awful done by an author or a director or an actor or a painter from their creations. That's not how it works. The person who did those things also made that art, and art is an expression of how the artist sees the world.
If it's beautiful art, it's because human beings are capable of great contradictions within ourselves; but also, there are often the philosophical seeds of the actions in the art, too.
Ignoring those, either by refusing to absorb the art at all or by refusing to see it in relation to the artist, means that we're ignoring that part of our shared humanity. We're carrying on a pretense, not only that art and artist can be separated, but that we can also be separated from human failings, and that we can achieve total moral purity by inaction. It's not great.
#i havent been following the neil gaiman thing bc honestly i just don't have the energy#but i do remember ravi zachariah's postmortem allegations#and i had to look back at what I liked about his work and think over the red flags i hadn't seen before#I think that self-reflection and reframing of the work is important in order to not carry on with this discordant set of absorbed ideas#discourse sorry#long post
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still thinking of my fave marvel rivals interaction where my jeff and i were hanging on the point after knocking out the other team and lil bro sprays the space in front of me and emotes and we both said thank you at the same time like i fear im never forgetting that ever
#marvel rivals#snap chats#i made the strangest delighted sound afterwards dare i say it was wholesome 馃槶almost cried sorry im a big baby#of course afterwards we had to go back to Murder but still ... ill never forget you my finny friend....#havent had an exp like that since .... i hope to tho ...#closest i got is sometimes my wanda will look me up and down- maybe strafe a lil but thats about it#wait no you know what my fave thing is .. i do love Lowkey babying wandas on my team vaeJLKVJAELKJ i am not sorry#LIKE AS A TANK OF COURSE i try to prioritize the main team but if everyones fine ill usually hover around her#i keep an especial eye on her ok listen she gives me big energy sword i give her magnet shields its MUTUALISM#anyway i wanted to draw the jeff story out but i keep getting swamped with stuff so. alas. youll just have to imagine#if it helps jeff was wearin the dolphin costume and yeah i threw up from cuteness. esp with the lil beach ball ....#Big Ass Scary Magneto and lil baby jeff simultaneous Thank You ... its the little things i fear ...#a part of it helps that magneto can just sound so Polite with these voice lines LMAO#like his 'Hello' tickles me it's so Hello There :) .. like a distinguished gentleman ... like a grandpa who SOMETIMES gives you a casserole#thats his whole vibe tbh i wanted to make a post bout it- how mags def has Father/Grandfather To All energy and i love it#hes not even the oldest in the roster far from it.. lol.. visually he looks the oldest#if i may quote him tho .. Save Perhaps Thor ... He May Be His Equal in that regard AJELKVJAEKLJ BUT ANYWAY#im off to work on a thing#i should have it done tomorrow and i can finally share it (among other joys) with everyone :]
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Yesterday September 20th 2024 my dad lost his two year battle with end stage cancer I'm devastated and i don't have a ton of pictures of us together but I might post more as I find them
R.I.P daddy I love you 馃晩
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#i havent posted about it a ton if at all but he was diagnosed at stage 4#my mom got sick earlier this year too she had to get an ileostomy and my dad and i were always visiting her#he had his like last burst of energy and then rapidly declined this summer
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Whoa tree kangaroos are so cooool!! Do you happen to know any fun facts about kinkajous or binturongs or pangolins? All animals I love but don鈥檛 know much about
Very good choices, and interestingly very similar animals! Tree kangaroos, kinkajous, and pangolins all fill a very similar ecological niche. Small to medium arboreal mammals (though some pangolins are terrestrial). But from different areas, speaking phylogenetically (and geographically I suppose haha).
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Kinkajous are from Central/South America, and are from the order Carnivora (the order which has canines, felines, bears, etc). They are related to raccoons, though not super closely.
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Binturongs are also from Carnivora, but are from Southeast Asia. They're from one of my favorite families, Viverridae, which has some really interesting critters such as civets and genets!
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Pangolins, meanwhile, are the only living species of their order. This means that they don't have any particularly close living relatives. They live throughout Africa and South Asia.
Binturongs and Kinkajous also have rather similar diets. Despite being carnivorans, they mostly eat fruits. They do eat meat, but it's not the majority of their diet. Pangolins on the other hand are insectivores, specializing in ants and termites, much like anteaters!
They're each really fascinating animals by themselves, and pangolins are especially unique. Apparently, Binturongs and Kinkajous are the only members of carnivora with prehensile tails!
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Pangolins and kinkajous also are members of the long tongue gang
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I have never seen a binturong or a pangolin in person, though I would love to! I have interacted with a kinkajou before. They have a very strong smell, which reminded me of pretzels. They also have very sharp teeth and a lot of curiosity.
#literally all animals that could be their own post#i mean really they could be their own whole book but theyre all such cool animals#i loved though that you asked about three animals that had such similarities#so i thought i'd talk about the similarities and distinctions between them#the kinkajou I interacted with did in fact try to bite my finger but did not succeed. they thought i had food#i havent ever met a binturong but i have met a civet#the civet also tried and failed to bite my fingers. they do have a very similar kind of energy to kinkajous#giga posts#creechers#binturong#kinkajou#pangolin
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Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.
#so ive been in a bad mental state lately#because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts)#that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own#which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them#and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too#i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful#and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing#and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas#and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom#so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset#and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?'#its not good. but i havent acted on anything#AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds#i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again#i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best#im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it#but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard#so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk#btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am#and im full of manic energy#tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room
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ranger but he has to scavenge from enemies in nightmare hell dimension to replace his own armor as it starts to fall apart
#lines i did#quake#[insert obligatory comment here about how i am in fact still alive]#mlstly just wanted to draw the shambler gauntlet tbh#made the rest up around that#been real busy n tired tho. havent had a lot of time or energy to draw#i miss drawing things#i miss hangin out with mutuals on tunglr dot hell#maybe i should just start doing 10 second sticky note doodles and post those. low effort low time consumption...#maybe. maybe.#anyway hows everyone been in the couplea months ive been gone?
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i hate it how comfortable people are with hating and being so public about it these days. like you dont have to like everything and everyone, nobody does, thats normal, but being all over someone elses notes or super fucking rudely vague about it in general in such weird ways (like what sort of a petty bitch do you need to be to make stuff just to exclude something/someone just because you dont want them to be included when they are a focal point??) just fucking sucks dude
like you can enjoy your faves without putting other people down its not rocket science
#i lost the post that made me think about this but re: the recent darby hate#which i saw a lot on last night for some reason and it really ruined my experience with otherwise good collision#not because of darby but the rude comments afterwards. but anyways#like what you like but when you go on your way to make such a point about what you dislike like lmao how is this how you use your energy#fucking. whatever i havent had coffee yet sorry for my words#night is an absolute mess on main
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hi sorry if i seem distant its nothing personal to literally anyone, i just withdraw a lot around this time
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Ya'll... I think I might start a new story, I have a... basic concept of what I want it to be like, and I already have a name (under the impression that I don't suddenly do a 180), I just need to do like... all the writing and make the characters LMFAO It's gonna be a little on the dreary side and dark (which is the kind of writing/genre i aspire to write about, also means I'm gonna have to redo my personal reshade that ive been cooking for like... 3 or 4 months... 馃槶)-
in the meantime, I might start working on gussying up my navi post (and by gussy up, i mean completely redo) because as nice as it is, it's, idk, a little outdated (i guess), I have an idea for a new theme except i'm either going to a) put it in the drafts and wait til I start the new story to post it so the info is all there or b) make it and then post it and when i start the new story, edit it and put the tags and stuff in for the story.
ALSO might do a name change cuz... this name came from WAYYY before i joined simblr, and its got a charm to it, but i dont rlly like it anymore,, it just dont sit with me the same way that it used to lmao
*(writing this after i posted cuz i forgot to say this - its under the cut and in regards to NSB with the new story - it also kinda turned into a rant lmfao) TL:DR for ppl who don't wanna read my stupid fucking rant: NSB is prob gonna go on a hiatus regardless of if i start a new story, cuz as much as I love it, it's started to feel like a chore and less of smth i enjoy (even tho, like I said, I rlly enjoy/love it) Sorry to my NSB enjoyers out there.
regarding NSB, yes it will probably go on hiatus when making this story bec writing is already kinda exhausting for me as well as editing and NSB has progressively became more and more story-driven than gameplay-driven, and especially after these three days, im kinda burnt out from NSB, i know i just left it off on a cliffhanger with the new baby, but to be honest, I don't wanna deal with another child, i barely get by dealing with the four, and dealing with toddlers> are so fucking annoying cuz of the Sim AI, which in and of itself is just demotivating, i do REALLY love not so berry, i love the story ive created with it, but i guess im just tired of playing the same generation for so long, not to mention the fact that i made it a rags to riches challenge, i know i didnt have to but i prefer to, and bc of that, i havent been able to properly decorate, and i dont really wanna go back on myself, if i decide to continue NSB, i will probably take the RTR rules away since its so annoying to deal with having like, 1000 simoleans all the damn time. Also, i've been planning what to do for generation 3 since catty gave birth, but i had to put NSB on a hiatus bc of a stupid glitch and was only recently able to start it up again, and I still havent moved onto the next gen. I kinda lost the plot with that rant, but basically, NSB will probably go on hiatus, regardless of the new story, I've been wanting to dwell more on Roo and his whole story and the people in his universe and after a bit, NSB has started to, as much as I love it and the storytelling and whatever, feel like a chore, which kinda hurts to say, but its true. Sorry to any of my not so berry enjoyers out there
#anyways my brain is ROTTING thinking about this story#obsessed and it has barely formed an existence LMFAO#as for the navi post ive also had a bit of a brain worm for it i just havent been able to start cuz of vday posts lmao#only prob with writing and staging a story is that i have tend to have very expansive ideas that are gna require so much time and energy#and im the typa person who wants to get it done in one sitting so ig doing this would mean being a lot more patient and slowing down#which go figure i probably wont be able to finish writing the story in one sitting lmao but considering me ill *want* to finish it in one#sitting#yapping
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sorry to the people whose messages i havent replied to / asks i havent answered ;;; i am going through it. ren save me etc.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/772d3820ea0433ca8234355abfe9d694/f0334ecaf1da1b25-20/s540x810/571d6036124a6c676c764ee614a03824f2224ef5.jpg)
i need him to make a little blanket nest and hold me and make comfort food and just like. let me lay on him and run my fingers through his hair while he naps or smth. seeing him feel so comfy would heal me a bit tbh.
#i havent talked about it on here bc i feel like i talk about medical stuff enough LMAO but. man.#got a 'this can't be treated but it can be slowed' diagnosis and i think i know what (who) caused it#(incompetent doctor teehee <3 i love when doctors are worse than useless and are actively harmful <33333)#and. the process for applying to mayo clinic. passes out cutely.#i've just been completely wiped for the past few weeks ;; i get a little burst of energy once every few days and then i'm knocked out.#i've had a couple of ask game asks in my drafts for uh. Far Too Long at this point ;; if i havent answered you it's still there!#and i hope to answer dms asap!! it just feels like i'm able to do one (1) thing per day and for the past while it's been#'tag and queue a couple of posts' or 'work on my carrd for a bit' or 'work on my backlog of ren art'#so now that i'm caught up on tagging maybe i can do some replies. ourgh. ;;;; sowwy for the delay.#馃搶 [ my posts. ]#馃挱 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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god let me finish this stupid degree without many more complete breakdowns. amen
#mr stark i dont feel so good :-/#every time i think about this english degree im reminded of how much i hate doing it and how useless i think it is#so i try not to think about it#i dont want this to eat all of my energy and thoughts up!!!! i havent had a creative thought since i started this i have spent everything#i have and am on figuring out how not to fail this now that im doing it but im so deeply unhappy it scares me when im faced with it#but i am going to finish it. and if i do something i do it well. and thats it! and thats all it will be.#馃憦馃憦 bob dylan sing me no time to think#my post
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