#Haven't really worked on GIFs part of the archive

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Give me more.

Pairing: neighbor!Frankie Morales x f!reader Words count: 2527 Rating: +18, MDNI

Summary: You're ovulating and can't calm down, just the night before Frankie leaves for a two-day camping trip with the boys for Santi's birthday... luckily Frankie is willing to help you... too much, even.

Tags/Warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, established relationship, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff, a lot of kissing, female masturbation (on Frankie's leg hehehe), fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving), overstimulation, aftercare, reader has breasts and vagina, wears a baby doll and a thong, she's able body, she doesn't blush, she has hair but it's not described and she has no other description, brief reader’s thought insert, marked in italics. Pussy pronouns. Pet names (baby, honey, good girl). Frankie is our PEK on a mission 🫡

A/N: This Frankie is the same as You look like a fun place to sit, but it can be read as a stand alone, there are only some mild references to the previous ff. (If you haven't read it yet though, I hope you do 👀♥️) I have a couple more ideas in mind for these two, I hope to have something out for the Christmas holidays at least. Thank you so much for loving these two in the previous story, especially to @harriedandharassed who read it and shared it like 3 times if I'm not mistaken, I'm so flattered and grateful. I hope this one works just as well as the first one. English is not my first language, I have no beta, I hope there aren't too many mistakes, please forgive me if there are. I'm open to any advice you want to give me to improve but please be kind. (you always are, tbh). Comments and reblogs are always welcome, you would make me so happy 🥹 I started a tag list, if you want to be added leave a comment. If you'd prefer to be tagged only on something specific I can definitely do that, just let me know.

Thanks to anyone who reads, I hope you enjoy.

Archive tags: @pedrostories ♥️

“Frankie...” you whisper in the dark.

“Yes?” he answers you in a thick sleepy voice

“Are you asleep?”

“Actually yes.”

“You're answering me, though.”

“Sweetheart...” he picks up his phone from the nightstand ”It's 3:00 a.m. What's wrong?”

“I can't sleep” you groan

“Come here, come on” you shift on his part of the bed and he holds you tightly against his body, you rest your head on his chest and surrender to his comforting embrace and the scent of his skin.

You hum “thank you”

He places a kiss on your forehead “sleep now”

You close your eyes, focusing on the sense of peace you feel wrapped in his strong arms, clasped to his body as warm as a furnace, one leg crossed over his, one arm wrapped around his waist.

It's amazing, really, so amazing that soon you begin to feel something else. a little shiver that runs under your skin, a little electric shock that goes through you all, and then a crescendo of wetness between your thighs.

You’re ovulating and you’re feral, simple as that.

You try not to mind it, to let it pass, not to be too demanding after he has already made you come twice tonight, once on the couch while you were watching a movie - well at least you tried, but you actually have no idea what the movie was about because you were too busy bouncing on his cock, which when you think back on it, it makes you laugh because it seems like a constant in your dating that you can't finish watching a movie without jumping on each other - and once as soon as you got into bed when he saw you coming out of the bathroom in a new babydoll and thong you bought especially for him.

Only two months ago neither of you could stand the other but now, as much as it still bothers you to admit it since he was the last person you thought you would end up with, you are completely and hopelessly smitten with him.

“Frankie,” you whisper, hoping he won't tell you off “can we kiss for a while? Just a little bit?”

It’s so early in the morning that he doesn't have the energy to be sarcastic as usual, he just replies “of course, baby”

He lowers himself on your face and kisses you on the lips, in a very tender but rather chaste way, he still looks half asleep. After a couple of minutes he stops and you sigh, resting your head back on his chest. 

I must let him sleep, you tell yourself. This man is tired, he has already fucked me twice, that should be enough for now. Yet no, it's not enough, you still crave more.

“Frankie.." you mumble on his chest.

“Mmm what is it again?” his voice is even deeper and rougher than usual, which literally sends you into raptures.

"I..." a glimpse of him between your legs as he eats your pussy flashes past your eyes, you squeeze them hard and admit "I want you"

“Still?” he doesn't have an angry tone, nor an irritated one, he's calm, quiet, definitely awake at this point because you feel his hands roam over your back, all the way down to your ass “you insatiable little minx. You know I have to get up in three hours.” 

“I know...but it's not fair, it's Saturday” 

‘You were there when I promised to go camping and fishing with the guys, right?’ You leverage your arms to reach his neck, resting your lips on his soft, amber skin ”mmmm yes” you groan.

He chuckles, as he squeezes your butt cheeks “you know I have to, it's Santi's birthday” 

You continue your run up his neck, slipping your hands under his shirt, caressing his back.

“I’m going to miss you,” you whisper in his ear, burying a hand in his dark curls, your leg tightening around him brushing your barely covered pussy on his leg. Frankie gasps at the sensation, as you begin to grind against his thigh. “It’s only for two days. Jesus, you really are a menace, you know that?” 

“Yeah, you like that about me” You coo.

He puts a hand on your neck, his thumb brushing your ear while his other fingers wrap around the base of your skull. “I sure do. Go ahead, honey, make a mess on me”

You’re grinding hard, the texture of your brand new thong is adding a delicious scratch between your clit and his skin. 

Ridiculous desperate moans escape your lips and he kisses you, letting them vibrate into his mouth. 

He’s wearing only a t-shirt and boxers, which allows you to feel his warm skin, your clit throbbing against him, your dripping pussy heating from the contact.

You feel the tingle of your orgasm mount inside you, your mouth is wide open for him, your tongue feverishly entwined with his in a sweet struggle that leaves you breathless.

And you come, wave after wave, quivering against him, one of his strong arms keeps you in place while his other hand is still wrapped around your neck squeezing lightly on your pulse point.

Your breath is short and ragged, your body hot and tested and yet you feel like it’s not enough.

As soon as your breathing returns to normal you mutter “gosh...I want more” into his slightly sweaty t-shirt.

His voice comes out more high pitched than he would like, he opens his eyes wide and exclaims, "Baby, do you want to wreck even the last bit of me tonight?”

You giggle softly and coo “She’s aching, you know…”

You feel one of his hands kneading one of your ass cheeks and then sliding down to your pussy, massaging your folds from behind, wetting his fingers with your juices.

“Mmm that’s good” you whisper “but I still want more”

Frankie grunts, flipping you onto your back on the bed and getting on top of you. 

His eyes scan you in the dim light of your room, reading the lust on your face. “How much is she aching?” 

You whine, tighten your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer but Frankie doesn't budge an inch, he's too strong for you.

“Use your words, baby, I know you can.” His gaze is no longer clouded by sleep, it’s alert and authoritative and he pins you down. 

“A lot.” 

“Yeah? Does this wet pussy need me?” he goes down your chest kissing your skin left uncovered by the thin straps of your baby-doll. You moan again, you don't know how to do anything else, your head feels light and confused. 

"Answer me" he says leaving a bite on your shoulder. 

You squirm and a breathy "Yes" comes out of your throat.

You feel his cock swell against your thigh, A trickle of desire runs down between your legs, wetting the thong you're wearing underneath. It’s basically drenched at this point.

“What do you want me to do? Tell me what your naughty pussy needs" 

“Your tongue, your fingers…” you whine “Please, Frankie” 

One thing you learned right away about Frankie is that he really enjoys eating his girl out. 

He's not one of those men who do it just to get a blowjob in return. He's dedicated. He uses his tongue, his lips, his nose even, he compliments how you taste, how pretty your cunt is, how wet and warm she is under his tongue, he doesn't stop until you're left shaking and breathless beneath him, until he coaxed orgasm after orgasm out of you. 

He really is a force of nature and blows your mind every single time. And not only at doing that, he is experienced and passionate in every field.

“Greedy”

He pulls back the duvet and the cool air hardens your nipples as he reaches between your legs, his lustful, tantalizing eyes peering down at you. 

His mouth brushes your inner thigh, slowly moving up from your knee to your groin, his beard tickling you deliciously, “is that what you want huh?” 

“Yes” you murmur ”yes, please.” 

His plump lips settle on your opening, he sticks out his tongue and licks from above the fabric. You moan, sinking a hand into his raven curls, pressing him against your cunt. 

He chuckles against your folds, sending an exquisite vibration through your body, slips his fingers into the elastic of your thong and slowly pulls it down. 

Your cunt throbs in anticipation as his tongue travels up your slit and you emit a deep “Fuck, yes” as soon as his lips latch onto your clit, sucking away the last bit of reasoning you had left. 

“Oh God, Frankie” 

He goes down again and comes back up, tongue flat out sliding over your wetness, once, twice, three, four times as an irrepressible heat spreads inside you again and then the tip of his tongue stops under your clit and he begins to jerk it quickly with close flicks.

His hand is open on your thigh, he slows down a bit when he feels your body tenses, goes back to teasing your opening and then starts tickling your bundle of nerves again.

You tug his hair, spreading your legs even wider to take in all that he wants to give you, melting under his ministration.

“Fuck, you’re so good, don’t stop” you whine and you see him grinning as he replies “I won’t, baby, I’m going to have a damn fucking meal out of this pussy”

His touch is careful, long laps and sucks on your clit, he knows how to alternate them, he seems to know your body and the way it reacts inside out.

Another thing you discovered about him is that he is great at listening and observing and very often guesses your needs and reactions before you express them. He immediately learned how you take your coffee, how you frown when something is bothering you, he knows that you need a particularly tight hug on Monday nights, and that on Friday nights you like to treat yourself to a drink to celebrate getting to the end of another work week.

Frankie is good, really good, you even start to really like quarreling with him, you like the way he stands up to you, the thrill of it and the amazing sex that usually comes right after. 

He brings you almost to the edge with his tongue without taking his eyes off your face, and then you feel two of his fingers nudging at your entrance “you want them huh?” 

“Yes” you breathe, almost on the verge of delirium and he teases “ask nicely baby, I haven’t heard that little magic word yet” 

You would roll your eyes if you were able to do that but right now all you feel is desire, desire to be full again with his fingers, desire to be fucked just like the way you like, desire to be his and only his. 

“Pl-please” you mutter and he whispers “here she is, my good girl” 

His index and middle finger start to stretch you, it seems like he’s taking all the time in the world while you’re trembling and begging to be satiated.

“Almost there pleasepleaseplease”you plead and he sinks a little bit more, up to half fingers, his other hand gripping on the soft skin on your tummy, keeping you in place while your back feels like a guitar’s string ready to snap.  

Your walls are clenching desperately around his fingers, impatient to have all but instead of giving you your long awaited release he comes out completely. 

"Fuck" you hiss. 

His lips are curved into a mocking smirk.

Your clit is swollen, your hole empty and the almost release is tingling all over your body like a latent fire that cannot be extinguished.

“Did you think I would make this easy for you?” He asks ironically.

You scoff “Goddamn,Frankie!” 

You don't know how he finds strength but he's making you pay for be so demanding, your pussy won't stop throbbing as he barely caresses you, feather light touches on your folds, deliberately ignoring your clit. 

You try to breathe deeply to calm down, but as soon as Frankie feels your body relax he returns to licking you, two fingers on your clit moving in circles. 

You're almost on the verge of tears when he brings you back to within an inch of your brink.

“Frankie, please” you cry “I can’t- fuck- I just can’t”

“Oh yes, you can. You wanted more? I’m going to give you exactly this so now shut up and let me do my job” he’s commanding now.

He’s slow and steady over your bundles of nerves and when you impossibly tense again his mouth is back on it, sucking and teasing with his tongue.

When he gives you your second orgasm he doesn't stop stimulating you as it washes over you, your back arches sharply, you’re gushing in his mouth and all over his face, your hand in his hair tugs to try to pull him away from you but he doesn't move, his lips stubbornly latched onto your clit, his hand firmly on your tummy while the other grips your thigh. 

He doesn't stop as you anchor yourself to the edge of the mattress trying to lift yourself up, your body twitching unbearably, he pulls you by your legs and brings you right back to where he wants you without taking his face off you, in fact sinking even more. “Frankie please, please, I can't” you feel tears stinging your eyes. 

You feel so sensitive it’s almost impossible to handle. 

“Ssssh you’re good” he says, detaching from you just long enough to say it, his beard and mustache glistening and soaked in your essence.

You squeeze your eyes, cover your mouth with your hand as you wail so gravelly it almost doesn’t sound your voice anymore. 

You're overstimulated, your body is sore, you murmur a tearful “please” again, and Frankie finally decides you've had enough. He pulls away from you and takes you in his arms as he whispers, “You're okay, honey,” caressing your back. Your labored breathing slowly returns to normal, giving way to a deep, dense feeling of gratification. 

Frankie definitely reached another level of dedication tonight. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks as he lifts your chin, inviting you to look at him. "Yes," you murmur, and he kisses you tenderly, "do you think I've given you enough to deal with my absence for two days?”

You giggle “I think it's enough to endure a week” and ruffle his hair kissing him again, lingering on his lower lip “But let me tell you something, though, someone they call Catfish who goes fishing… it's really odd”

The sound of his thunderous laugh vibrates against you “I hadn't thought about it but I must admit that you are right. Now let me sleep for...I don't even know what time it is anymore” He reaches out an arm to retrieve the phone on the nightstand and realizes that it is already five o'clock.

“Oh, fuck”

tag list: @aurorawritestoescape @baronessvonglitter 🌹

[ask-norman-alexander-lotf]

"Frankly, I always loved to interact and talk to people, and lately, I have been getting bored. So, ask me, talk to me.. I won't bite." - 🐍

Hello! Welcome to the Norman Alexander blog! This is where I talk, post, and discuss about topics relating to Norman Alexander, one of the deleted charatcters in Lord Of The Flies. He is part of our big project, The Character Archives, and is such a huge influence on the island when he was still written in the manuscripts.

This is also where we answer asks, questions, and sometimes even roleplay as Norman. He is such an underrated character, so please give him a shot! 💚🐍✝️

Want more information about Norman? You came to the right place, but check here first!

Now, for how the content of the blog itself ACTUALLY works, here are some things that can help you navigate through.

I decided that the posts are divided into tags since it might be much easier to look and see what is going on! Here are the tags that you might want to look at:

#norman-asks = for the usual answers for (usually) anon asks

#norman-lore = for additional content that are not yet placed/cannot fit in the archive

#norman-announcements = announcements from me (@msfisherot_)!

#norman-content = for other miscellaneous information about norman

#norman-reblog = reserved only for (very rare) reblogs from this blog specifically!

#norman-fanart = this is only for people who SPECIFICALLY have drawn norman alexander fanart! use this whatever you want!

Please be informed that there might be updates coming along as well, so things change a lot. I am usually pretty flexible and active all the time but don't expect much from me, I'm still human!

Speaking of updates...

Hi! This is probably a temporary section I will insert in the introduction. If you haven't seen the particular announcement yet, Norman's character is currently being reinstated and reinterpreted! We are still trying our best to figure out how his character actually worked in the book.

We might post a few more about this, but if you ever notice that certain older posts don't match with the newer ones, it's because of that. Please understand that we are also slowly branching out of The Character Archives! Norman Alexander is still connected to the project, but when refering to the archive, please say The Norman Archives instead! We still accept TCA fanart personally, but yeah.. Thank you!

Norman Alexander is SUCH a wonderful character to deal with, and I think he is really underrated.

If you want to support the blog and archive, along with other projects pertaining him, please do so! Fanarts, fanfics, or even just interacting with us! We love it in here!

If you have any questions for us that you want to discuss privately, DM me at @msfisherot ! Just state what you want to talk about and we will respond to the best of our abilities!

Thank you! -🐟

[circular-bircular]

I'm putting this blog to rest.

I'm done. I'm out. And god, is it a relief.

You might notice I'm posting this around the same time that SAS is posting a major post in an effort to light the tag on fire. I highly doubt it'll work, but it's the best attempt. Me and SAS are close. Nearly one in the same, some days...

You'll notice the end of the post says, "just wait for what happens next."

This is what happens next.

I'm deleting my syscourse blogs. Finally. No "maybe I will" or "I've been considering it." I've been considering it for a loooong time, and I've actually been intending on getting rid of Circular's-Reasoning for awhile now. I just... haven't had the energy to.

But now... My life is moving on. I'm moving on, quite literally, I gain possession of my new house... probably today when I end up posting this. I'm not sure, it's my first draft, we'll see how this goes. That's terrifying to realize. I'm like... an adult. I'm an adult who's craving good conversations about my disorder, about systemhood and how it's conceptualized, and more intricate parts of my selfhood. And... Syscourse just is not that.

I've done this sort of thing before, if you all know MotCR -- @memoriesofthecircularroom, for the uninitiated. That's the OG Circular Blog, and is an archive of the first few years of syscourse. But... Now, it's going to become a bit more. Here's my game plan.

I update MotCR to be the Circular Archive. Anything I think needs archiving -- good posts of mine, silly reblogs, or just good posts overall where I added something of my own -- will get reblogged there. It's gonna be busy for a bit.

In the meantime while I start that process, I answer any and all final questions/asks or drafts that've been in the works. I don't want to leave people hanging.

I delete a lot of blogs. And... I do mean a lot -- not even just the syscourse ones. Just the ones I think it's time to let go of.

I've often teased how many blogs I have. It's fluctuated wildly in the past. But here's the down and dirty. Here's what I own, and what I'm planning on removing.

@circular-bircular (Hi, Hello, You're Here)

@circulars-reasoning (Already planned to be gone awhile ago)

@systemquirks (I just don't have the energy to run it, and I'm so sorry for that)

@yourfaveissecretlysas (Yes, I am the one running that)

@system-confessions (Surprise! No name blog that barely exists, again, I don't have the energy)

@debunkingsyscourse (Look, I make these too easily)

@equalsys (Not sure how this is a shocker to anyone)

@ricejustdidthings (An old system-no-syscourse blog I have that I don't use anymore)

@my-systems-cringe (Been meaning to delete this for ages)

@circulars-answers (Unneeded)

And potentially one other, unnamed for now blog -- that's the one I've never told people I have outside of select discords...

So that's 11 blogs I'm getting rid of, potentially more. And that's with me still keeping 2 syscourse blogs and an 18+ system blog. Jesus christ.

It feels good to get it off my chest, though. It feels really good to be leaving.

"But Circ! Your posts make me happy!"

Fantastic! You can follow the new system blog I'm going to be making, @thecircularsystem (is that link working? I don't know, it's a brand new blog.)

Try this link out instead if that doesn't work!

I'm still going to be posting system related content there. I'm still going to be doing my normal random shit that I always do. I may even dabble in syscourse -- and definitely in sysconversation. I like that tag! But I'm not going to be doing syscourse nearly as often, and I'm going to try and stay out of that tag in search of reblogs and such. Too often, it results in me getting aggressive with someone, rather than just... spreading good information about systems, or existing online as I want to exist.

I just need a refresh. A new step, a big change. I'm moving on.

I really hope you all can too <3

[riisume]

Dan Heng the Smiling (Honkai Star Rail)

Summary: March 7th has been trying everything in her power to get the guard of the Astral Express to smile... Except for one thing.

A/N: I haven't had time to draw tk art, so I figured I'd write a short fic about the idea that's been giving me brainworms! This is my first time writing for Honkai Stair Rail and I'm not too far into the game, so bear with me on this-

This is a tickle fic! If this isn't your cup of tea, turn back now. :^)

Word count: 945

"Ugh!" March groaned, seeming perhaps a bit too distraught for a trivial reason; "I feel like I've been trying everything and I haven't gotten you to smile once, Dan Heng! Jokes, funny faces, silly stories I've heard..." She was pacing back and forth around his room, running her fingers through her rosey hair in exasperation as she spoke to the man in question; Dan Heng.

Though, she may as well have been talking to a wall, as he wasn't responding. Instead, his attention was fixed on the pages of a novel that was more likely gotten from the shelves of the archives. Whether he was tuning the girl out or just choosing not to respond was unknown. Either was likely, especially since Dan Heng was particular about people not lingering around the room that he had claimed.

March, having noticed the lack of a response, whipped around to face the taller man who had his back turned to her. The girl's eyebrows furrowed as a pout began to set on her lips.

"Hey, are you listening? I've been working really hard, here...!" While she felt like she had been carrying the burdens of the entire Astral Express on her back trying to succeed in her endeavors, Dan Heng clearly thought otherwise as a light sigh resonated from him.

When March heard, her expression fell into one of surprise before looking particularly offended. With a whine, she began to pace over toward the reserved man.

"C'mon, you can at least give me a response...!" March reached out and began to poke Dan Heng's back to get his undivided attention. Though, to her surprise, what she received from him was a sharp jolt and an abrupt sputter. As she was hoping, Dan Heng's attention was on her as he peered over his shoulder in shock. The surprise almost reached the man's eyes.

March paused, her own eyes were wide and round with curiosity. Was Dan Heng... Ticklish? There was a long silence between the two, though the girl knew she had to test this theory.

"March, do-OHON'T-!" The man couldn't finish his warning before the young woman gave him a few more prods, this time on the small of his back, coaxing out a set of foreign noises; Giggles!

There was a mischievous twinkle in the girl's bright eyes and Dan Heng felt his skin begin to prickle as she began wiggling her fingers at him.

"Dan Heeeeeng~ I didn't know you were ticklish!" March's words were practically sung. She felt like she had made the discovery of the century!

In hopes to recover from this situation, the man's features rested back to their neutral position as he tried to calm himself, despite wanting to quiver at March's fingers merely wiggling at him.

"I'm not. You just caught me by surprise, is all." Dan Heng was convincing... Almost. March wasn't swayed by his act, she knew what she had heard and she was eager to hear more.

"Oh, really? So you toootally won't react if I do this~?" At that, the girl's hands lashed out, latching onto his sides before giving them a few, tender squeezes.

Relaxing was a mistake on Dan Heng's part. He should've foreseen this happening. Before he knew it, he was overtaken by yelps and uncontrollable laughter.

"AAH! M-Mahaharch! AHAH-!" The stoic, composed man's laughter was nearly music to March 7th's ears! It was almost like hearing a new song and you didn't know how you've lived life without it all this time. "C-cuhuhut it ohout! CUT IT OHOUT!" Dan Heng turned around to try and stop the shorter assailant's tickly attack on his sides, though March was quick to recover. She slipped her hands underneath his long coat, her nimble fingers wedging themselves under his arms to feverishly scribble and dig at the hollows of his armpits.

As much as Dan Heng attempted to writhe and wiggle away, March kept herself fixed on him. She couldn't help but giggle along, taking in the new sight of the bright smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"I don't know why I didn't think of tickling you sooner!" She beamed, her fingers trailing down to dig into the divots between the other's ribs, causing him to practically howl with laughter. "I guess I never pegged you as the ticklish type. Oh, how wrong I was~"

"EHEHAHAH-! M-Maharch, PLEHEASE- D-dohonon't!"

Dan Heng felt his cheeks grow warm from this humiliating display. He felt his legs buckle from under him. He leaned back onto the shelves behind him for support, but he felt himself slowly slipping down to the floor. Much to his relief, March's fingers lost their hold on him, and before long, she was standing over him as he was lightly heaving for air to fill his lungs. The smile once forced on his features began to fall back into its impassive state. The Astral Express's guard couldn't help but glance up at her, his cheeks flushed a hue of pink from laughing so much.

March merely grinned down at him, pleased with herself.

"I guess all my work paid off, huh? Now, I can get you to smile and even laugh on a whim!" She giggled in amusement. At that, Dan Heng tore his gaze away from her. While he felt somewhat nervous from March's comment, he can't say he hated the experience... Maybe he wouldn't mind it again at some other point, so long as it wasn't a spectacle for the others working for the Astral Express to see.

Despite these thoughts, the man gave a final sigh with a shake of his head.

"Whatever." He replied flatly.

[luvrlou]

Spy Deal

Pairing: Charlie Conway x fem!reader

Summary: Coach Orion has a little job for his younger sister.

Warnings: Charlie's anger issues lol

A/N: I think I'll make a part 2 for this.

Word Count: 1.9k

Coach Bombay had heard wonders about you, since he had met Ted Orion, to him you were the best marketer in the Hockey world, of course, Orion was a bit biased considering you were his younger sister. You had controlled advertisements for some of the biggest teams in the USA, even the National team. At your ripe age of sixteen you were really making a name for yourself.

"Y/N!" Your older brother called through to you, for a few years you had been living in Minneapolis with your brother, his wife and your niece, Jen.

You left your bedroom and walked down the wooded corridor to the living room, "yeah what's up?"

"I have a little research job for you, perhaps you could help me learn more about this new team I'm taking on this year," he told you, offering you a seat on the sofa across for him.

You were instantly interested, your work had been quiet ever since the local hockey team had moved on to bigger things, "yeah I would be happy to help, under one condition."

He let out a chuckle, despite being twenty-two years older than you, you always had a price when it came to a bit of help, "okay, okay, you help and I we go on a brother-sister laser tag and sweetie shop run. Just like the old days."

"Oh my god! Yes! We haven't done that since I was like nine!" You grinned, reminiscing about your ninth birthday where your parents both had meetings all day so Ted took you out.

He smiled softly before continuing, "I have a new team coming via scholarships, they like to call themselves the Ducks, they won the Junior Goodwill Games last season."

"I'll be through with whatever I find later, then it's shooting time buddy!" You chuckled, standing up.

"Whatever you say baby sister," he mocked, drawing his attention back to his television as you left the room.

You quickly ran back to your room and flung yourself into your office chair and turned on your computer, after a few minutes your home screen appeared. You hummed a little tune as you opened up the internet.

"I'm sure there will be some newspaper files about them," you spoke to yourself, finding the local Minneapolis news paper. Despite the world wide web being a new phenomenon the archives were easy to access.

You slowly grew more intrigued as stories of this so-called 'wonder team' popped up, you filtered the site to only show clippings that contained the words 'ice hockey', 'ducks' and 'Bombay', their coach and a close friend of your brothers.

More and more clippings came up, this team were incredible, you had noticed that they had 4 'star' players, Captain Charlie Conway, Adam Banks and the Bash Brother, Fulton Reed and Dean Portman. They had even beaten Iceland's team, which was coached by the Wolf, a well-respected genius in the hockey world.

• • •

Bombay felt much more at ease knowing his beloved team would be passed onto the great Ted Orion, and after learning of your work in the hockey industry, he was thrilled that the ducks could gain even more attraction.

However, the Ducks were not too fond of their new coach, he had stripped Charlie of his captaincy and had taken away the team's spirit. They were no longer the ducks, they were Eden Hall's JV team.

"They hate me it's impossible to work with!" Ted groaned as you were all sat around the dinner table, knees deep in yet another of his rants.

Jen, who always tried to see the best in a situation spoke, "who knows, they might just be scared of you?"

"Darling, I don't think so," he smiled almost sadly.

"How about this, I can come with you to practise sit at the side and see if I can get some information off of them, I'll try to see why they haven't taken a liken to you." You suggested, Ted seemed to enjoy this suggestion as he nodded slightly.

"Are you sure they would talk to you?" Your sister-and-law asked, "I mean you are the younger sister of their coach."

"Well I am the same age as most of them, they might feel like they could say something." You answer, hoping you were right.

• • •

"Gather round team," your brother called, before growing impatient, "god gave you legs for a reason, use them!"

They all grumbled while they skated over, stopping in a messy semi-circle around you and him, peculiar looks on their faces.

"You may be wondering who this is-" Orion began before getting cut off by a tall looking boy with brown hair.

"Y'all that's Y/N! That girl who made that team in Chicago mega-famous!" He shouted.

"The team can't be that famous if you don't know the name, Dwayne," another boy quipped back, this one had off-black hair and was shorter than this Dwayne character.

"Yes Dwayne, this is the Y/n and she is my younger sister, she's just here to supervise the game. She finally decided that lying in her bed all day fawning over Michael J Fox in Back to the Future wasn't being productive." He introduced you, his last comment making you shake your head and flush.

They all exchanged looks, before yet another boy, this time you recognised as Charlie Conway, spoke up, "What age is she, shouldn't she be a bit older if she's your sister?"

"I'm sixteen, our mum had him quite young," you clarified. "Okay Ted, I'm going to go sit down." The team's uproar started again after hearing that their new coach's name is Ted. You laughed, something so normal was causing quite the stir.

The practice wasn't anything interesting, just some drills and a mock game to finish. You were brought out of the trance, that you had caught yourself in when the sound of skates dragging to a halt in front of you.

It was girl who had a long plait in going down her back, "Hi, I'm Connie!"

"Y/N, it's lovely to meet you," you smiled.

She smiled back before pondering her next question, "does coach Orion always act grumpy?"

You laughed slightly, "no, don't worry, he does really want to see you all succeed but he just doesn't know how to get around it."

"Well he doesn't act like it, look!" Connie gestured to the rest of the team, who were all shooting at Goldberg as Orion barked out orders. That's when you noticed that one of the players who had played with them since the PeeWees wasn't there.

"Connie, is there not meant to be another boy, he's blonde, wears number ninety-nine?" You inquired, looking back at the girl.

She smiled slightly, "awe yeah, Banks, he plays for Varsity now." She spoke, almost proud of her ex-teammate. "Well, I better get back to practising, we need to speak again Y/N!"

You grinned, "definitely!"

the girl skated away, lapping around some of the other players, then shooting a puck past Goldberg into the net.

When practise finished Ted approached you, "so did you speak to anyone?"

"Only Connie, she's super nice, but she thinks you're dead grumpy." You answered, this made him frown slightly.

"I know this is a lot to ask, but do you think you could find Conway and try to talk to him?" He asked, a glint of pleading in his eyes.

You smiled, "yeah I'll speak to him, just because I love you so very much," you teased lightly, which caused him to gently slap the back of your head.

"You're a cheeky prick," he laughed, helping you up.

"That's what you get for having a sixteen-year-old sister when you're thirty!" You grinned back, walking off the ice with your beloved older brother.

• • •

You spotted the brunette boy in the distance walking out of Eden Hall, quickly, you jogged after him.

"Charlie!" You called out, which made him turn around.

He grimaced when he saw you fast approaching, "what do you want?"

"I just want to talk, you seemed kind of," you hummed. You tried to think of a way to make this sound like you weren't being bitchy, "agitated, earlier."

He huffed slightly, "Obviously, have you seen my coach!"

"Hey! Let's remember that's my brother!" You faked annoyance before laughing.

This made him smile, "Fine we can talk, under one condition."

"Woah there Conway, take me out for dinner then we can see where it goes!" You joked, making him flush under the blinding sun.

He shook his head sheepishly, "no! Not like that, I meant to buy me ice cream!" He scrambled out, "if you buy me ice cream, I'll talk to you about anything you want."

You pondered his requirement, "are you asking me on a date Conway?"

"It's a get-together, not a date! Don't be so silly!" He groaned.

You chuckled at his comment, "come on!" You cheered, beckoning him to follow you towards the seafront. Where an ice cream truck would roll on by tweeting out a chirpy tune at exactly ten past five every evening.

The pair of you reached the boardwalk next to the swirling sea just in time to hear the merry tune which signified it was ice cream time. Charlie immediately sped-walked over to where the truck would park and scowled at you as you slowly traipsed over.

"Okay, number ninety-six what are you for having?" You quipped looking up at the boy.

"Two scoops, chocolate orange and vanilla," he answered back after studying the array of flavours intently.

You only smiled at him before going up to the window, "a two scoop cone of chocolate orange and vanilla," you hummed, "and a rocket ice lolly for me."

"That'll be four dollars and fifty cents, doll," the woman in the truck said, handing Charlie both of the sweet treats while you reached for a five-dollar note then slid it over to her.

"Thank you!" You grinned, taking your ice lolly from Charlie.

"Since we never introduced ourselves directly to each other," you spoke before tasting your lolly. "I'm Y/N Orion, I'm sixteen and I grew up in Tampa."

Charlie gave you an odd look before reluctantly speaking, "I'm Charlie Conway, ex-captain of the Ducks and the USA team and I'm also sixteen. Oh and I'm from Minneapolis."

"Lovely to meet you, Charlie Conway!" You smiled towards him, a smile which he returned apprehensivley.

You grabbed his free hand and pulled him towards a free bench and sat down, indicating him to sit down next to you.

"So, Y/N what brings you to Eden Hall?" He asked.

"Well I don't go to school there but Ted just wondered if I could help him gain some information on the players." You explained, Charlie didn't seem to be fond of this answer.

"So you're only here right now with me for some sort of spy deal?" He accused, anger radiating off of him.

"No! Of course not, he just wanted to know how to get you guys working as a team!" You defended, hoping this answer would calm him down.

He scoffed, "well excuse me, we are a team, the ducks, it's just Orion is not a part of it!"

"Come on Charlie! He just wants whats best for you!" you pleaded.

He huffed again and silently got up and stormed away, you quickly followed him, "Charlie, he doesn't mean anything bad!"

•••

You trudged back into the Orion household, swiftly going to your room and slamming the door.

"Y/N you good?" Ted shouted over towards your room, there was a lengthy silence that followed which made him enter your room.

"Charlie hates me!"

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - May 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

Tumblr name:

@masoena

Other handles:

AO3: Masoena, Discord: masoena5

Do you have an SPN OTP?

Wincest but I ship just about anything that is SPN I would say I'm a multishipper overall.

Are you in any other fandoms?

Shadowhunters

What are you looking for in the Pond? What can we do for you?

I'm looking to connect with other writers and artists and create amazing things together, lift each other up be that through brainstorming, feedback, advice or collaboration.

What pairings do you like to read? Reader inserts? Ships? Poly fics

Wincest, Sabriel, Arthur/Dean, Samwena, Destiel are my favourites and I do love triple ships to e.g. Dean/Sam/Donna or Wincestiel or pretty much anything in SPN

What genres do you like to read? Angst? Fluff? Smut? Crack? What are your favorite tropes?

Hurt/comfort, angst, A/B/O, smut, dom/sub, bdsm, angel kink or grooming, protective character saving other character(s) in peril, BAMF characters, meet-cute, animalmorph characters (not bestiality just humans with some physical animal traits e.g. Sam with cat ears), case-Fics, alternate Universes, creature fics (vampires, weres, etc.), crossover fics, enemies to lovers (sometimes) and anything from short one-shots to super long fics found its way into my bookmarks.

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? If yes, tell us who! (Please let us know if they are on Tumblr or AO3.)

There are a few who I keep going back to and love the works of: SamandDean76 - on both Tumblr/AO3 compo67 - on AO3 nyxocity - on AO3 (but believe they are no longer active) brokenlittleboy - on AO3

What kinds of fics do you like to write?

My works list is a mix ranging from drabbles, medium length to long fics. It really depends on the idea and inspiration. Some stories need 2k words to be told others need tens of thousands but I believe my sweet spot is around the 10-15k mark as I like to plan plot outline and majore milestones but also love just letting it flow however it wants to.

Drop a link to your masterlist on Tumblr or Works list on AO3 so we can check out your writing!

Drop a link to your most underappreciated fic!

My most underappreciated fic is a drabble but most underappreciated fic that I was super excited about posting but which did not get a lot of attention was a choose your own adventure A/B/O fic that had a Wincestiel main pairing. And I wonder if I posted it in the best way or if there is a better way to do it. :)

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? Why haven't you tried before? How can we help?

Moments like this happen as I take part in more bangs and reverse bangs where people put forward concepts and ideas that have never occurred to me and it is endlessly fascinating to try out new ideas and things. As of right now I can't think of anything that I want to but haven't tried yet.

Tumblr name:

@corpsexcquis

Other handles:

Corpsexcquis for Tumblr / Hyobe or/And SonofEros for Ao3

Do you have an SPN OTP?

Wincest/SamDean

Are you in any other fandoms?

Haikyuu! / JJK / Twilight

What are you looking for in the Pond? What can we do for you?

I’d like to meet more people in the SPN fandom and get some help with writing.

What pairings do you like to read? Reader inserts? Ships? Poly fics?

Usually ships, rarely poly but with the right combination I’m open to anything

What genres do you like to read? Angst? Fluff? Smut? Crack? What are your favorite tropes?

Angst and dead dove mostly

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? If yes, tell us who! (Please let us know if they are on Tumblr or AO3.)

Dollylux is one of my favourites for SPN (they’re inactive on Ao3)

What kinds of fics do you like to write?

Usually long ones, Angsty, 90s/80s/70s dirty America, heavy with codependency and references. I never quite manage to finish them though hehe

Drop a link to your masterlist on Tumblr or Works list on AO3 so we can check out your writing!

Drop a link to your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? Why haven't you tried before? How can we help?

I think a story that is during the medieval era. I love it but I don’t know enough about that time period just yet ! Perhaps betaing ?

Tumblr names:

@clarrisani

Other handles:

Clarrisani

Do you have an SPN OTP?

Wincestiel & Destiel are a tie

Are you in any other fandoms?

I dabble in Good Omens

What are you looking for in the Pond? What can we do for you?

Seeking a beta reader and support to get back into writing SPN fan fiction,

Do you host any fandom events or podcasts, or do you have a shop where you sell things that we can boost for you?

I have an original novel coming out in August. Updates are on my writing twitter https://twitter.com/katrinamckee03

What pairings do you like to read? Reader inserts? Ships? Poly fics?

I like reading a bit of everything

What genres do you like to read? Angst? Fluff? Smut? Crack? What are your favorite tropes?

Whichever strikes my fancy for the day.

What kinds of fics do you like to write?

I like to dabble in a bit of everything

Drop a link to your masterlist on Tumblr or Works list on AO3 so we can check out your writing!

Drop a link to your most underappreciated fic!

Tumblr name:

@candygramme

Other handles:

Same handle for Ao3, Threads, Discord, Live Journal/Dreamwidth and X, which I rarely visit. On Instagram I am candygramme1 and on Facebook I am Sue_Ashworth, but not really active.

Do you have an SPN OTP?

Dean/Sam

Are you in any other fandoms?

Yes. I have written in a few others - Highlander, Roswell (the original one), The X-Files and CW RPS.

What are you looking for in the Pond? What can we do for you?

I'm looking for friendship, inspiration, a chance to help new writers.

Do you host any fandom events or podcasts, or do you have a shop where you sell things that we can boost for you?

Not really. I occasionally art, but want to learn to vid if there's someone around to teach it.

What pairings do you like to read? Reader inserts? Ships? Poly fics?

Not Reader inserts, for sure. I like plot and longer fic myself, but pretty much anything between Gen and Explicit is great if its well written. It's all about nailing the character for me.

What genres do you like to read? Angst? Fluff? Smut? Crack? What are your favorite tropes?

Yes is the short answer! I love all of it, but tend to write crack although not always. I love angsty stuff, and casefic.

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? If yes, tell us who! (Please let us know if they are on Tumblr or AO3.)

felisblanco is on both. Roxymissrose is on Ao3 and deadlybride is on Tumblr (zmedia) and Ao3 too. There are others, but those are a good start.

What kinds of fics do you like to write?

Cracky, silly stuff, plotty casefic and occasionally PWP.

Drop a link to your masterlist on Tumblr or Works list on AO3 so we can check out your writing!

Drop a link to your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? Why haven't you tried before? How can we help?

So many things. I have countless wips sitting waiting for me to finish them. I just get stuck and don't get back to them.

Tumblr:

@libby99hb

Other handles:

Libby99HB(AO3), Materialgwooorl (Discord)

Are you in any other fandoms?

The Vampire Diaries

What are you looking for in the Pond? What can we do for you?

I haven't used Tumblr in years, so I'll be semi-new here. I'm looking to connect with people, find new things to read, get inspired, create, and maybe even make new friends through this community. It's a place to connect with others who love what I love and learn from them. 😊

What pairings do you like to read? Reader inserts? Ships? Poly fics?

Don't really ever like to read any fics with ships mostly OFC or Reader inserts

What genres do you like to read? Angst? Fluff? Smut? Crack? What are your favorite tropes?

Angst, Fluff, Everything 18+, Smut, and all AU's

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? If yes, tell us who! (Please let us know if they are on Tumblr or AO3.)

I have three AO3: @smolandgrumpy @Zeppelin_Skies ( on Tumblr @zepskies) @neganslucilletblr (Same @ on Tumblr)

What kinds of fics do you like to write?

The fics I like to write revolve around love.

Drop a link to your masterlist on Tumblr or Works list on AO3 so we can check out your writing!

Drop a link to your most underappreciated fic!

The only fic that I have up at the moment is a TVD one. Right now it's on a little break because I have three SPN fics that will be out sometime this summer.

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? Why haven't you tried before? How can we help?

I'd like to try writing some one-shots. I have a hard time keeping things short and sweet, but hopefully, I'll be able to hop on a writer's challenge after connecting with others on here.

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, and @heavenssexiestangel!

[laylawatermelon]

Hehe

Don't kill me i have an offering 🫴🏾

Life, ao3 not loading for some reason and a three day hyper fixation (it's really bad i haven't slept at night in like days). It's good now though it's over i can feel it ☺️.

My favorite part below/preview!

Denny nudged him aside, giving him a sharp look for his teasing tone. “Whatever. You're just mad you can't play pool.”

“Oh yeah?”

Denny lined up a slot, “Yeah.”

He got the ball and it narrowly missed dropping in making him groan in anger. “These stupid balls aren't going in!”

“Or maybe you two suck,” May commented, not taking her eyes off her tablet.

Jeeyun looked up with a cutely scandalized face, “Bad word.”

Mara looked over, “It's not a bad word.”

May's eyes widened as Jee-yun let out a nearly jumbled, “Sufck.”

May put her tablet to the side as the boys burst out laughing making her giggle.

Harry pointed to Jee, “Now that's a bad word.”

May knelt to get level panicking as she pleaded, “No no no don't say that sweety it's a bad word.”

“Sfuck!”

She burst into giggles as Mara watched on in amusement and the boys collapsed with laughter at her panic.

“It's not funny! Help me fix this!”

“We suck so we can't do anything,” Denny replied, shrugging.

“Sfuck!”

[something-pithy]

Notes and an Update: The Alignment Issue

pictured above: just a regular Tuesday night at Ancunín Palace

“So with Astarion, his evil ending is actually him...much of what he does is out of fear. And as a player, you can say to him, ‘You're right to be afraid.’ And that sends him to a really horrible place, and that I think is really powerful.” -- Adam Smith, Lead Writer of BG3

I’ve been talking about my notes about alignment in D&D and BG3 and my interpretation of them in the context of an echo, a stain since before I even started with these “Notes and an Update” posts. But every week, something else has come up that I wanted to post more than my alignment notes. 

I think this might be a chronology thing. These notes seem old to me because they predate the vast majority of the story. I don’t remember the specific date I decided to write out my thoughts about the nature of “good” and “evil” as DnD 5e describes them / how they manifest in BG3, specifically in Astarion, but I know that I was scribbling notes – or whatever the keyboard version of scribbling notes is – about it since a palmful of stars / an echo a stain was just “the desired constellation.” 

This is because DnD has Things to Say about vampires and their morality, who Astarion is as a character in this series is deeply informed by what he’s willing to do to get what he wants. 

My decision to finally post these notes now is informed by a couple of main things:

The IGN interview posted this past Friday, December 15th titled “Baldur’s Gate 3 Developers Explain Its Controversial Endings, Beloved Characters, and Making the Best RPG of 2023,” wherein Adam Smith makes the statement I quote at the top of this post and

The description AO3 user fanciful included in their bookmark of the story*: 

“There's several things in here I haven't seen in other Astarion/Tav fics, so do read this if you're looking for something unique.” 

*(yeah, I’m not gonna pretend I’m so cool and unaffected that I don’t peek at who’s bookmarked the story to see what they might have said about it lol).  

When I found fanciful’s blurb, I almost immediately went to bother my phenomenal beta, Komo, (whom I’ve mentioned before and will again, and who is probably a better beta than I deserve but very much the beta this story could not exist as it does without). The gist of my question to her was OMG WHAT DOES THIS MEAN, to which her response, in part, was that she was curious as well, but that she had her own thoughts:

“I think your take on a vampire lord/ascendant's "evilness" is unique.  Like, it's not how ascendant fans who explain away his bad behavior, but also not [how] a traditional spawn fan would write him either, recognizing [there’s] nuance to the evilness.”

Which was like, SUCH a great compliment specifically because I’ve thought a lot (I mean a fuckin’ LOT) about how evil works, and how it works in this story. So here are my (abridged and ever-evolving) notes about all this, which are a very important part of the basis of my approach to Astarion’s characterization in aeas.

So first of all, the Adam Smith quote above indicates that Ascendant!Astarion’s alignment is not due to some mystical, transformative, vampire or diabolical force. It’s not the result of Mephistopheles taking his soul as part of the bargain. Any evil behavior / attitudes Ascendant!Astarion demonstrates are purely a result of his own choices, made of sound mind, body, and soul. 

The DnD 5e Monster Manual labels vampire lords specifically as lawful evil. 

Now I’m going to say here that I think the “good” and “evil” alignment binary is flawed. Yeah, there’s neutral, but that still operates as kind of a middle ground for this axis. I think something more accurate would be something referring to the good of the majority vs. self-interest, but I’m not here to get into all that. 

For expediency, I’m going to roll with the definition of evil that seems to fit what DnD 5e is going for. And according to past DnD sourcebooks (this isn’t in 5e, but 5e offers much less detail about alignment than previous editions), evil “implies hurting, oppressing, and killing others.”

So for the purposes of these notes, my interpretation of “evil” in general and specifically in terms of an echo, a stain is that a character with an “evil” alignment is willing to hurt, oppress, or kill others without compunction in order to achieve their goals. 

In my mind this doesn’t mean that they necessarily want to do those things, or enjoy them (though there’s evidence that Astarion does both at different points in-game), just that if that’s what it takes, then that’s what it takes. And they’ll do what it takes. 

Now, it’s my inclination to view RPG sourcebooks as somewhat flexible depending on what best serves to the story, but also, in-game, there’s plenty of evidence to indicate Astarion was created and written as a character whose baseline can be read, at best, as chaotic neutral, but more likely as neutral evil if we’re going by the above definition. 

So what? 

OK well, in an interview with some folks at Collider, Neil Newbon said that the “Ascendant Ending” was the one he’d kind of pictured for Astarion. 

“Actually I saw Astarion always going that route [Ascension], whereas other characters might want to [...]  help him not only survive, and thrive in a positive way.”*

From a character arc standpoint, I agree with Neil: there’s no doubt in my mind that without a good-aligned Tav, Astarion would be on Ascension like white on rice as a default. I think it’s the baseline trajectory of who he is at the start of the game. 

I also believe that it is *possible*, not a guarantee, but *possible,* that being in an environment where he’s surrounded by people who do genuinely care about him and his well-being, and yeah, with the support of a good-aligned Tav with whom he experiences deep mutual caring and connection (whether platonic or romantic), who treats him with respect, love, compassion, and care, who sees the best in him and encourages it in him / demands it of him until he can see it himself, he would not choose to go Murdertown, aka the Ascension route.

I also don’t think a high-approval, good-aligned Tav in his life, whether as a lover as a friend, precludes the possibility of Astarion choosing the Ascension route (clearly). BUT ALSO. 

I don’t believe in binaries. 

Does Astarion choosing ascension mean that suddenly all the ways in which he may have changed his perspective during the course of his adventures with a good-aligned Tav are nullified? 

I don’t think so. 

I’m willing to entertain DnD’s canonical assertion that a vampire lord’s emotions are altered by their transformation; however, I also think it’s feasible enough that Astarion’s tendencies toward obsession, paranoia, and possessiveness already existed within him prior to ascension, if to much less pronounced degrees. I think it’s entirely plausible that ascension amplified these qualities in him. but also Astarion’s decision to ascend is indicative of him embracing a worldview that is, as Smith says, deeply rooted in fear. 

This fear impacts another important element of Astarion’s character in aeas, which is the way he perceives himself. Astarion as he exists in aeas is an Astarion who as a spawn, believed he was worth nothing. Astarion as he exists in aeas also has put Tav on a very high pedestal. This is not to say he doesn’t know or love Tav for who she is – I think this Astarion knows this Tav very well. But his perceptions about her are also skewed by his perceptions about himself, and a whole bunch of other things -- including fear. 

SO when Tav leaves him, a couple of things happen in terms of his character, two of which are: 

one of his absolute worst fears is realized (that Tav will leave him, specifically because he is innately a piece of shit and she finally figured it out), and there’s nothing he can do about it. 

the realization of this fear prompts the understanding that he is not, in fact, all-powerful, therefore his power and control must be increased at any and all costs. 

the monumental scope of his power and, frankly, terrifying disposition ensure that, without Tav in his life, there is literally no one offering a different perspective as a counterweight to this fear-based thinking. 

Do I think Tav’s reemergence in Baldur’s Gate and Astarion’s life will change things for him? 

Ehhhhh, that’s a complicated question with a variety of complicated answers that all boil down to, “Well, that depends.” loooool

I don’t know if I’ve said everything I could say here, but I’m running out of steam and if I’m getting tired of writing, you must be getting tired of reading, so I’ll leave it here:

tl;dr: aeas has been and will continue to be informed from start to finish by the ideas that

Ascended Astarion is absolutely and 100% Astarion

whether or not alignment is mutable, people/characters can and do still change based on their experiences and environment.

Make of that what you will. LOOOOOL

[cosmo-lexies]

A proper writeblr introduction

Hello people, you can call me Cosmo. I’m not a spacial doggy, no matter what the gossip says (I'm gonna turn this sentence in my new tagline). I have been around here for a while but I had never dared to do an introduction until now.

What can I say about me? I'm a Spaniard, my home is in Galician. I started to write in English to learn the language but I found out that I liked it.

I'm searching for other amateur writers. I'm really into urban fantasy, specially shapeshifters (you know, werewolves. I haven't gotten over Teen Wolf yet) and romance (with bi character is always better).

I have another blog for NSFW stories: @hotcosmo

My WIPS

Wolf Trip (My current WIP):

Senior year, the last chance to discover your true self before adult life. Jon was ready to enjoy it with epic plans: getting a spot on the basketball team, figuring out what university would be his new place the next fall, and of course, finding the absolute perfect prom date. But, seriously, since when do the plans of a seventeen-year-old boy work out as expected? Instead of parties and dealing with his new status like one of the popular kids, Jon found himself facing the fact that he's not your average human anymore. Romulo, the hot and strong young wolf who decided that Jon's essence was too irresistible not to spice up it with a little bite, had to deal with an emotional teen with a very aggressive newborn inside while they had to sprint across America to find a safe place where Jon can learn how to live in a world bigger than before. A world full of new creatures and magic where your position in the food chain may not be what you expected.

The Imperial Sorceress (complete):

Lady Dominica, High Sorceress of the Empire and the eldest of his coven, and his apprentice Ludovica have to confront a powerful semi-divine creature never seen before in imperial lands which is destroying the military forces of the empire and find out why the creature is helping the alliance of the Southern kingdoms to conquer the city of Lorencia.

Midnight rituals, season 1:

"A witch, a vampire, a werebear, and a human are in a clearing in the middle of a forest…" This could be the beginning of a bad joke or of a riddle; however, the witch was summoning an ancient demon while the human tried to avoid it; the witch and the vampire were in love but they fight more than anything else, and the werebear, well, he is there being a very handsome guy and tried to no one ended up dead. The peace of the small town of Santo Hills (Pennsylvania) is in danger and only the hardly credible team of four supernatural teenagers has some opportunity to avoid a massacre in the town.

Dylan, season 1:

"Do you know this feeling of whatever you do, you're going to fuck it? For me, it's not a feeling it's my day-to-day. Hooking up with someone older, yelling at my social worker, or kissing a girl for whom I feel nothing is only a small part of my problems. The big part is my powers which my family knows nothing about. Fuck, I don't know how I survive until graduation. I should talk to them, should I? Ahhh, fucking l…"

Malicious Wood:

"After Ragnarök, paradise emerged, Yggdrasil blossomed from its ashes, and a new pantheon was constructed, ushering in a new era. But time passed and nothing in this world was created to be at peace forever. Asktré accompanied by his sons Lunnec and Fenrir, return home after an arduous and fruitless journey. Against Aktré's wishes, they are unexpectedly drawn into the investigation of a series of mysterious murders in Odinia, Midgar. Could an Ashman and two hybrids discover the truth behind these heinous crimes? Malicious Wood serves as an enthralling introduction to New Yggdrasil a world base on Norse mythology post-Ragnarök where the delicate balance between Realms is starting to change. Can those born of an old world save a new one?"

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Happy Birthday, little finch.

Gif credits

Pairing: Jackson!Joel X AFAB!reader

Words count: 6731

Rating: +18 NSFW, Minors please don’t interact

Summary: Everyone forgets your birthday but you receive an unexpected invitation (wink) that will change the fate of the day.

Warnings: POV second person, smut, little power dynamic, little brat taming, begging, unprotected P in V (please, always use protections in real life!), Reader's age is intentionally unspecified, you can imagine an age gap between her and Joel or not, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), nipples play, Joel comes on reader's tits, just a little of pulling hair, soft!Joel, grumpy!Joel, pet names (little finch, honey, baby, babe), mention of fasting as a sarcastic joke (I don’t condone joking about no one’s eating habits), reader has hair (It is not specified how long they are or what they look like), reader can be lifted by big and strong Joel, reader has a able body, breasts and vagina and she wears a dress, apart from that no other description is given, reader is part of the Jackson community, I don't know anything about Jackson, I only know a few details about second game’s plot (including that detail, yes) so everything I describe is purely from my imagination and may have no bearing on the original Jackson, brief appearances by Maria, Tommy, Ellie and Dina, drinking, swearing, Joel calls reader “little finch” (I came up with this nickname just because my grandpa used to call me with a bird name when I was little and I always found it sweet, so here we go ❤️), Joel can draw (I don't know if it's true but for me it is, okay, allow me). I hope I haven't forgotten anything but if I do I'll add it as soon as I notice.

English is not my first language so please be kind, I always try to do my best, no proofreading (sorry), very little editing, I apologize for any mistakes. I'm writing on my phone, I hope the formatting isn't too bad 🥲

Thank you so much to anyone who will read this, I really hope you’ll like it, kind comments and advices are really appreciated ❤️

I've been listening to Hozier's "Talk" heavily while writing this so here it is, I'll let you know. It's such a beautiful song and I love Hozier so much 🫠

Archive tags: @pedrostories ♥️

You wake up struck by a ray of sunlight that enters faintly through the half-closed shutters and dies right on your face.

You have no idea what time it is and your head feels heavy and confused, you turn over in bed thinking that maybe you can give yourself another 5 minutes but then you hear voices outside already awake and ringing and then you think that maybe it's really late. You sit up and retrieve the clock from the bedside table, it's 7 in the morning.

You get up and go to the kitchen to make some coffee and from the window you see some people already busy doing their work. Some children head towards the building designated as school in Jackson, happily laughing while they chase each others.

You yawn and open the cabinet in the kitchen where you keep the coffee filters, a precious supply recovered during an exploration that you jealously preserve.

The coffee is also the result of a find and therefore it was carefully rationed with the other members of the community.

You are grateful that it exists because this morning you really need it, last night you slept badly, continuing to toss in your sleep and always dreaming of the same thing again and again. You being swallowed up by a hole in the ground and no hand reaching out to help you. Just a great dream.

The coffee maker burbles a few minutes later, releasing the drink you crave.

Temperatures are milder in this season so you no longer need to put on a heavy jacket and snow boots, there is a bit of fresh wind but nothing compared to the harsh winter that has just passed.

Today in particular you feel like dressing better than usual, you go back to your room and open the wardrobe, carefully inspecting the few clothes hanging there.

You obviously don't have much choice because they're all salvaged second-hand clothes, but Maria gave you a nice pair of denim shorts a month ago and they look very nice on you.

You take it out of the closet and place it on the bed along with a white tank top that highlights your boobs just right, it’s nothing particularly fancy but it makes you feel good, you head towards the shower humming softly.

The shower helps you wake up, you dress and you leave the house feeling a bit better.

You meet a couple of people who greet you as you make your way to the library.

You enter, smelling the familiar smell of books and immediately get to work cleaning and dusting the shelves and the floor, like every day.

The morning passes peacefully, only a couple of people come in to borrow books, so after doing your chores you took the opportunity to rearrange thriller’s books section.

You're a bit shocked by the fact that no one told you anything particular but you don't mind, these people have a lot to think about and a lot to do.

When you leave it's lunch time, so you head to the common room.

The crisp air caresses your face and the sun gives you a little warmth that you missed so much, you really love this season in Jackson.

You enter the room filled with chatter that echoes off the walls. You take your place in line and once you have had your portion you sit at one of the tables.

No one reaches you yet. You're alone in a room full of people.

You see him in a corner, sitting with Maria and Tommy and you get lost for a while observing the way he moves his large hands, how his hair rests at the base of his neck, his big brown eyes, so communicative, the way his flannel shirt - which has practically become a distinctive trait of Joel - hug his muscles, the way his lower lip slightly twitch while he’s talking.

You’re totally captivated.

You can't help it and you know it.

Every time he spoke to you, even for just a few minutes, your body reacted unequivocally at his deep low raspy voice, his proximity always caused you trouble.

You like this man, much more than you are willing to admit.

Joel Miller.

You're friends, you might say. As much as it is possible to be friends with a man like him.

He's friendly, but always with an undertone of detachment that you can't define, as if he's afraid of letting himself go with someone and let his feelings flow freely.

And just as you're thinking this, he turns and looks at you for a moment.

You are sitting, yet your knees feel weak and you feel your cheeks redden knowing you've been caught.

You turn your eyes back to your lunch, quickly finishing your meal and bringing your tray back. You leave the common room feeling in a bubble.

It's stupid that he makes you feel like a little girl with her first crush but it always happens, by now you're resigned to always making a fool of yourself with him.

You walk home to do your household chores and then go to the patch of garden you've been assigned to take care of.

You meet various people along the way but again everyone just say hello, you see Ellie with Dina and they both wave at you and nothing more. In the meantime, Maria has left the common room and the only thing she asks you is how the courgettes you planted a month ago are coming along.

It's strange, but you shrug your shoulders and think that deep down today is not such a relevant day for others even if you hoped it would be because you now consider these people as your new family.

You stop thinking about it and focus on the things you have to do but a tiny piece of your heart hurts a little, just a little.

What the hell is wrong with people today? Only a month ago they throw a big party for Tommy and now nothing, not even a hint.

Okay, Tommy is higher rank, he is married to Maria, everyone sees him as a guide just as they see his partner.

And he goes on patrols, certainly offering others a greater sense of security and protection, unlike you who deal with less dangerous things.

That's probably why, you're just a minion in Jackson's pecking order.

You let off some steam by plowing your field with more force than necessary, small drops of sweat slide down your forehead and you end up hot and with your arms aching from the effort.

Stupid girl, stop thinking about it, it's not that important to have a birthday, not in a post apocalyptic world where everyone is struggling to get ahead.

But still, they acknowledged every single special day of everyone’s here before, except yours and nothing particularly relevant is happening, it’s been a couple of quiet weeks.

You're wiping sweat from your forehead with one hand when you hear a voice behind you.

"What are you doing tonight?" It's his voice, you'd recognize his among a thousand.

You turn around stuttering “uh, what?”

And there he is, flannel shirt, curls slightly blowing in the wind, mouth curved in a smirk, dark piercing eyes.

Fuck.

“I asked…what are you doing tonight?”

You feel the nervousness rising in your chest, it's the first time he's spoken to you in a week and you weren't ready in the slightest.

“Uh…oh…nothing special, I guess, I think I'll read a book and go to sleep early”

you say trying to maintain a certain apparent nonchalance.

“You didn't mention dinner, are you going to fast?” Oh, great. Sarcastic jokes, classic Miller behavior.

“No, of course not,” you reply, rolling your eyes.

He chuckles “okay, so, would you like to come to my house? I cook”

Fuck. Is that, a date?

You instantly feel your mouth dry as you try to reply “Well, it’s not like I have something better to do so yes, why not”

You don't want to make it obvious to this man how he makes you feel. There are worse things to worry about in this world, but letting yourself go with someone who always shows restraint only to be rejected - on your birthday, no less - doesn't seem as pleasant.

And that's how you usually communicate anyway, bickering.

Maria often laughs about it, you are both stubborn and neither of you ever wants to agree with the other.

One day she told you that she thinks you'll end up together and you practically laughed in her face. Not because you don't want to, but because you thought Joel didn't even see you that way.

Maybe Maria was right all along, who knows.

“Good, see you at 7”

And he goes.

You watch him walk away for a while, still with spade in your hands.

Suddenly this day became interesting.

You run into the house and take off your dirty clothes throwing them in the basket you keep in the bathroom and go to the shower.

While you're soaping yourself up you wonder what came into his mind.

As you rub your hair, you think that maybe he's making fun of you but Joel doesn't seem like the type to make a prank, he's always quite sarcastic but not a proper prankster.

It's part of his charm, he always looks grumpy but you know he's not bad, the way he looks at Ellie or his brother says everything about him.

He would do anything for the people he loves.

And he’s not mean, he was kind to you too.

You've spent more time looking at him, analyzing every chat you had with him than you like to admit, so yeah, you're pretty sure he's okay.

Once you get out of the shower you open the wardrobe and find yourself contemplating the usual clothes with which you have to make the best of things.

There is a cute dress that you have never worn because you have never found a particular occasion. It's quite short and low-cut, definitely not suited to Jackson's lifestyle, here everyone wears jeans and sweaters or t-shirts.

You think that maybe tonight is the time to dare even if you don't want him to burst out laughing and ask you what you've got in your head.

It's just a dinner.

He never mentioned anything romantic.

You're obviously nervous, because you like him and if it doesn't go well you should continue to see him every day anyway.

In the end you decide to wear the dress anyway but to tone it down with a cardigan and a pair of boots, so as to make it look less like "please fuck me" style.

You shake your head, how much trouble are you going to for Joel Miller.

However, you have to admit that it's the first really exciting thing that's happened to you since you've been here. You thought that surviving was enough so you obviously never complained about it.

You fix your hair after drying it, you look at yourself in the mirror and you think that you're not that bad after all.

It's almost time, you leave the house and walk the few meters that separate you from Joel's house with your heart beating wildly in your chest.

You climb the few steps to his porch feeling insecure and stupid for accepting, who knows what you expect from this lonely man.

You shrug and knock on the door, snuggling into your cardigan in the cool evening air.

You consider going back and pretending you had a mishap, but Joel opens the door.

“Hey, come in” he smiles at you. You cross the threshold timidly as a delicious scent invades your nostrils.

Who knew Joel Miller could cook?

You follow him into the kitchen and Joel pours you a glass of wine.

“Where did you find this?” you ask in surprise. Wine is a luxury that you haven't been able to afford many times in Jackson, usually the only thing they bring back after searches and patrols are bottles of cheap whiskey.

“I found it two km from here in an abandoned shop. It was stuck under a shelf, probably for years”

“Oh, great”

“Well they say that aged wines are better. Like men, don't you agree?” He smiles, winking at you.

He winked.

Fuck.

You try to hide your surprise by taking a long sip from your glass.

While Joel is busy checking on the stew you take a look around the living room.

It's a nice house, simply furnished like all the houses in Jackson, tidy and clean.

There are some sheets with drawings on the coffee table in front of the couch. You know Joel made them because you've seen him several times on his porch busy drawing animals. A squirrel, a deer, a small bird. He's really good at it.

And obviously his guitar, resting on a stand in a corner near the couch.

In a totally cheesy way you would love to hear him play something for you.

“So, do you like wine?”

You turn and see that he is a few steps away from you, glass in hand.

“Uhm, yeah, it’s good”

He gives you a smile “stew is almost ready”

“Can I help you with something?”

“No, don’t worry, you’re the guest”

You see him linger with his gaze on your legs and up to your breasts and you think that the dress wasn't such a bad idea after all.

He is wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans and is breathtaking.

You scan each other for a few seconds, without speaking. You are like two predators sniffing each other to see who will give in first.

“That dress looks good on you” he finally says and for the first time you notice that he is slightly embarrassed. He looks down at his glass and stares at it harder than necessary.

You still don't know why he invited you tonight but honestly at this point you don't even care. He's more handsome than ever, his hair still slightly damp from the shower and pulled back, that little scar on his cheek that you'd be eager to find out the story of, that smile he's giving you and his hands nervously gripping the glass, everything about him draws you in like a magnet.

"Thank you. You're not bad either." You giggle and you know that it’s definitely what you needed tonight. To feel attractive. To feel seen.

He comes back to the kitchen and after a few seconds he calls you “Dinner’s ready”

You sit at the table in the kitchen and he places a plate in front of you that smells of home, of memories and takes you back to when you were little and your mom cooked for you.

It's like Proust's madeleine.

Evoking sweet feelings with food is one of your favorite things to remember who you were, who you loved, and what was before this debacle.

It's melancholy but also comfort in a certain way, it's like holding on to the truest and most authentic part of you, the one that made you who you are today and probably allowed you to survive.

You take a bite as Joel looks at you in anticipation.

“Wow, this is good!” you exclaim “extremely good. Who knew that you were a chef”

“Ha! I’m really not, it’s just a stew and I’ve done it so many time that I can’t get it wrong at this point”

“It's still the best I've had in years, I need to get invited to dinner more often”

You chuckle and then you blush, because you've made it clear that you hope it's the first of many times.

Damn you.

You hadn't had a love interest in years, obviously, there wasn't time to think about that while the world burned and you had to fight to stay alive. But here, in this little bubble, where people have welcomed you and you have recovered crumbs of normality, it doesn't seem too stupid to feel something for Joel.

Is he grumpy? Sometimes. But he is also incredibly generous, to be honest. When you asked him, a formal contractor, to help you create the library he snorted, he told you that it wasn't necessary, that no one would ever go there anyway.

You shrugged and said that you would have done it anyway with or without his help, Maria had already given you permission.

The next morning you got up early to go and clean up the designated building and found him there, he was repairing a damaged window that wouldn't go up or down.

He grumbled when you asked him ironically what he was doing “someone has to stop you from opening a crumbling library”

You smiled, feeling your heart warm.

And so it was every day until the place was ready. Joel showed up early in the morning or in the evening, spent a few hours fixing the steps, eradicating moths, building shelves and cabinets, even a desk for you.

You've never talked in depth about your lives but you still know something you've heard through the grapevine. He's very secretive about his past so you never asked him any uncomfortable questions, the last thing you would want is for him to never share anything with you again.

The time he helped you with the library was the most enjoyable time you've had here so far and that's when you realized that your crush was more serious than expected.

“Do you want another glass of wine?”

“Why not, i don’t have to drive home”

He laughs “Yeah, no fines for you”

“At most a headache, but I'll think about that in the morning”

“Were you surprised when I invited you?”

he leaves you speechless for a moment and then you find, you don't know how, the strength to use irony, like you always do "I've known for a long time that you want me" you giggle and brush your hair away from your face while you say it.

"Oh yes? How strange, I actually thought it was the opposite” the smirk and the deep chuckle he gives to you goes straight to the most private part of you. Right there. It sits on your clit and you feel it tingling.

Fuck, this man.

You never experienced a flirty Joel Miller before and you were actually quite sure he wasn’t even capable of being so but he is.

“Oh shut up, finish eating” you scoff, feeling your cheeks turn on fire.

He lets go for a while and watches you amusedly fill your mouth with his stew.

“It's a pleasure to see you eat, little finch”

He started calling you that when you couldn't move the furniture in the library on your own. "I don't know how you thought you could manage on your own, little finch."

At first you hated it, now you pretend to hate it but you actually like it.

“Stop calling me that!” you still have to keep up a facade after all.

“Oh come on, finch is the cutest bird, don’t be offended”

“I’m no bird” you pout.

“Yep you are, finch. Delicate. Elegant. Pretty. You walk like you’re floating in the light air and your voice is a lovely chirping sound. It gets on my nerves sometimes, but I actually like it. A lot.”

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

You can't believe he said that.

You feel your heart melt like snow under the sun, your lips involuntarily curl into a smile, your hands tremble with the desire to touching him and between your legs a lustful heat invades you all over.

His face is relaxed, his eyes sparkle mischievously and his smile…his smile pins you to the chair.

You raise your glass in an attempt to drink some courage while he doesn't stop looking at you silently.

Just enough time to bring your lips close to the glass and you find yourself coughing, you're too distracted and the wine goes sideways.

Obviously.

You can't help but look like a fool in front of him, you don't even know how he thinks you're elegant.

“Jesus, are you okay?” he asks in alarm as he reaches up to wrap his arm around your back and pat you lightly.

To your surprise, his large, calloused hands can be very gentle.

“Oh my god, yes, yes I’m okay” you reply between coughs "I'll get over it now"

Now that he knows that you will survive he sits back down to his chair and scrutinizes you with an amused expression.

“Did I go too hard on you?”

“What? No, not all” you reply red-faced, while trying to regain some composure.

“Okay, if you say so” he places a hand on yours gripping the table “Has it passed?”

“Yeah, I think it is” You pour a little water into the other glass he has set and drink, this time slowly.

Finally you feel your breathing return to regularity and your cough gradually subside.“Thank goodness, little finch, think if I should have taken you to the doctor in that lovely dress” and laughs.

You've never seen him laugh so much.

He is intelligible most of the time but tonight he is an open book.

“What's wrong with this dress, Miller?” you ask, ironically, you may be clumsy but not to this point and you want to try to get back at him.

"Nothing. You don't see many of them in Jackson, that's all."

“It doesn't look like anything special to me,” you say, as you realize he's staring insistently at your tits. “Do you see anything special, Miller?”

He shrugs “It’s pretty low cut for nothing”

You bend over slightly, resting your forearms on the table smiling at him, exposing your boobs even more. He is sitting in front of you and still watching at them.

“You're pretty good at it after all, little finch” his eyes have become darker and it's as if a small flame is burning inside them.

You feel a certain pride rising in your chest.

“Now you look like the embarrassed one, Miller, have you seen how things have changed?” Your smirk doesn't go unnoticed by Joel who squirms in his seat as if it has suddenly become uncomfortable.

"Can you tell me something? Why did you invite me tonight?” you’re pushing him, and you know it. And actually, you like it, for once you feel like you have the upper hand.

“Isn't it obvious, finch?” he mutter.

“Maybe, but I'd like to hear it from you. Use your words, Miller, I know you can."

“When you asked me to help you to arrange the library I thought you were crazy. Then I realized I was wrong. It was a nice idea. It was a great idea actually. No one here can go anywhere anymore, and in any case there is nowhere you can go so it is comforting to know that there is always a way to take refuge elsewhere, at least for a few hours, reading a great book. So yes, finch, I like you. I like you because you gave us back some beauty.”

“Fuck Miller, you can make speeches whenever you want”

“It's just one of the reasons I like you, you’re also smart and thoughtful and gorgeous but yeah, that’s it, I’ve said it”

His gaze is languid, you'd almost say longing. Maybe you managed to scratch a small piece of the invisible armor he built to protect himself.

One moment you were bickering as usual and the next Joel fucking Miller left you speechless.

No sarcasm, not an ounce of irony, he sounds sensitive and vulnerable.

It's so strange to see him in this light, the only other time it happened to you you were in the library, he found a children's book and held it in his hands looking at it in silence.

For a moment you could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes, he looked helpless and hurt and then it was the usual Joel, complaining about the mess and the weight of the boxes you had made him lift that gave nightmares to his back.

You get up from the chair without even realizing it, as if it were an involuntary movement that your body needs.

You stop in front of him, who is still sitting, his arms abandoned on the table, his gaze following you questioningly.

You put a hand in his hair and let it run through his dark curls while he instinctively closes his eyes, abandoning himself completely under your touch.

You would like to say something but you don't want to ruin the moment and in any case you can't find any words suitable to describe how you feel.

Moved, yearning, grateful, overwhelmed?

All these things together at the same time.

You let your hand linger on the base of his neck, stroking softly

“Look at me” you whisper.

And his gaze turns, his whole body turns, and you've never seen him so clearly. He rests his large hands on your hips and his gaze pierces you as he lands on yours.

You feel his grip tighten as you lean over him and leave a shy kiss on his lips. Small. Brief. And another, instinctively. And yet another.

And another until his lips part on yours and fit perfectly in a long sigh. He tastes like wine and loneliness and desire.

It’s manly but tender and demanding for more.

Your tongues meet and it's like an electric shock that surprises you but at the same time it's inevitable like when two surfaces rub together generating energy, it is an unwritten physical law that holds you together despite having used all your strength to keep each other at a distance for months.

Now, all you can do is give up.

You kiss him like it's the last thing you do in your life, his eager hands roam your hips, gripping your ass and squeezing tightly.

He part from your lips just the time to stand up and wrapping you entirely in his arms, his mouth searching for yours again, eager, his hands stroking your back while you feel just like a little finch in the most comfortable nest you could find.

“God, I want you” he mutter in your ear nuzzling at your sensitive skin.

“Take me. Just… take me, Joel”

It’s a dreadful need that you feel deep in your bone, the last shred of love you could find in this broken world, a sweet feeling of release that you desperately wanted.

You can’t think straight and don’t want to.

He take off your cardigan and reaches for the hem of your dress and lifts it up roaming your thighs feverishly, squeezing and stroking, his fingers digging into your flesh as you moan softly into his ear. He pulls it up to your waist and you help slide it off your head.

He bends down to take off your boots and throws them on the floor in an unspecified place, then he gets up and takes you back in his arms. He's still dressed while you're almost naked and exposed in a pair of black lace panties and a matching bra. You might be intimidated but you're not. You let yourself be held and explored by his hands. His calloused fingers, rough but gentle, touch you everywhere, giving you goosebumps. He lifts a hand to one of your breast and squeezes it through the fabric.

You can't help but let out a muffled moan while he is filling his hand with your flesh.

“Do you like it, finch? Me squeezing your boob?” he says in a whisper, looking into your eyes.

“Y-yes” you mumble “give me more”

There's a smug, lecherous smile painted on his face as he reaches for your bra and unclasps it with a single gesture.

He slides it off and drops it on the kitchen floor. Your nipples stiffen in an instant, hit by the air, he takes one between his fingers and pinches it, pulling it gently and then his mouth is on it swirling his tongue and sucking it. You squirm at the sensation, digging your hand into his hair again, pushing his face into your breast “more, more” you stammer. You feel his smile spread across your skin and his teeth bite lightly into you.

“You’re ravenous, aren’t you?”

You pull his hair and tilt his face slightly to regain eye contact. “Do you mind?”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

“Good, you can continue doing what you were doing” you smile defiantly. You like to provoke him, especially now.

“You're bossy for a little finch, I like that”

he smiles back, his eyes shining bright with thrill and anticipation.

He returns to greedily licking and sucking like a thirsty man on your nipples, another loud moan escape from your lips.

“Fuck, you’re so good”

“I just started with you, you have no idea what awaits you” he whispers.

“Mmm then less talking, Miller, show me”

Without having to be told twice, he picks you up, much to your surprise, and places you on his couch in the living room.

“Woah, Miller, easy”

“You told me not to waste time talking” he shrugs. chuckling.

He pulls you to the edge of the couch “spread your legs”

You open your legs a little but he is visibly not satisfied, he takes your knees and opens them more "Like this. Now stay still” he orders.

He kneels between your thighs and pulls your panties aside.

You feel his fingers trail up your thigh, slowly, taking the time to slide lightly over your skin, causing you a mixture of tickling and excitement.

You writhe when you feel his index finger grazing your pussy lips, wandering up and down caressing for a little bit before sliding it between them and wetting it completely in your juices.

“You’re soaking wet, baby”

You can literally feel your cunt dripping when he keeps going up and down, briefly sinking into your hole with the tip of his finger and then on your clit, moving in circle with two fingers over your bundle of nerves.

You’re whining again, you’re growing impatient and he perfectly knows that

“Joel…”

“Yes, Finch?”

“You're doing it again”

“What”

“You know what. Do you want to torture me?”

"No. I just want you to beg me."

“God, you’re impossible” you roll your eyes out of exhaustion and arousal.

He stops completely.

“So are you, babe. Can you please let me do what I know best?”

He presses on your clit with two fingers and you squirm.

“Fuck. Okay”

He starts teasing your clit again, moving his fingers up and down to gather your wetness and spread it all over your lips.

“The thing is, finch, your pussy is so good. Look at her, I can’t rush it. She deserves to be loved nicely and slowly”

He is sitting on his heels just taking his time with you and you can’t be more eager to have him in your hole but you breath, resigned to wait for his pace.

He teases your entrance again, this time with two fingers, pushing in a little deeper.

His thumb is still taking care of your clit, moving a little faster than before.

“Eyes on me, babe”

And you do, you lock your eyes with his and you see hunger and lust and wonder.

He’s admiring you and you feel flattered.

He brings his face closer and sticks his tongue out, licking you from bottom to top and then again, letting it slide between your lips.

His beard is scratching you, his tongue stops on your clit swirling around it, jerking it slowly, again and again until you see him closing his lips on it and sucking gently.

He’s devouring you at this point and you mewl and cry and scream for more.

“Jesus - fuck - oh my goodness”

Your fingers are entwined into his curls and you’re pushing his face against you as much as you can, his tongue is fucking your hole now, he delves into you and lick all he can and you start to feel an incredible warmth rising from your core, in your tummy, to your chest.

He finally lets his index and middle finger sliding into you, pumping slowly in and out of your dripping wet cunt.

“Joel, oh my God I - ha! - I can’t, oh God”

“Yes, you can. Just like that, baby, give it to me” he whispers softly against your skin.

You’re on the verge of coming, the most incredible orgasm is knocking at your senses, overwhelming and brutally crushing into you.

“I’m com - oh GOD - yes,Joel, fuck”

He praises you again “come for me, soak my fingers, come on”

And you do. You gush all over his fingers like it was the last thing you do in the world, your legs shake and your heart reach an impossible pace that leaves you breathless.

He keeps licking and pumping into you until you calm and you can’t take your eyes off him bowed between your thighs, he drives you wild.

He stands up grunting at his poor knees and you giggle, he raises an eyebrow at you

“I wouldn't laugh considering the fact that I just made you scream my name”

He sits down on the couch next to you, circling your waist with his big strong arm and pushing you against him.

You bury your face in his chest “Aw, you’re so touchy, Miller” and you giggle again.

“You’re such a little brat.” He says, stroking your hair “But see? I wasn’t lying. It's been many years since I last did this but I still know what to do”

You raise your eyes at him “yeah, I give you that. You’re fucking good” and you place a kiss on the hairless part of his beard “but I-”

“What?” he interrupts you, looking at you maliciously

You bite your lower lip, feeling hot again just for the way he’s holding you tightly watching you with lust in his eyes.

“I want your cock”

“Oh. It’s time to beg, baby”

“Joel…”

“Beg for it, little finch” he’s smiling but his voice is firm and slightly authoritative

“I never beg” you scoff

“You will start now, sweetie, if you want to see me naked”

You look at him with exasperation, rolling your eyes immediately after “okay, Jesus. Can you please give me your cock?”

“Manners, babe. Ask gently”

You ask yourself what have you done wrong to fall for such an unbearable man “Good Lord”

“Beg with conviction”

“Joel Miller, could you do me the courtesy of fucking me? Please?”

You’re smirking hard. You definitely love to get on his nerves.

“You’re getting into trouble with this attitude, you know that?” He reaches one of your nipples and pinches it hard making you whimper into his arms.

You turn serious, looking him in the eyes intensely, licking your lip before saying “Fuck me, Joel. Please.”

“Mmm yes, just like that baby, it didn't take much”

He finally stands up in front of you. He takes off his shirt, revealing a strong, broad chest.

You can see a thin strip of hair disappearing under his jeans but apart from that he is almost hairless, his skin is delightfully dotted with freckles that make your mouth water.

He throws off his shirt and bends over to remove his boots.

Your eyes linger on his back, on his tense, rippling muscles, you can't believe how gorgeous he is, after all you think it was worth begging for this but you will never tell him.

He unzips his jeans and takes them off, remaining in his boxers. The sight of his deliciously soft tummy drives you completely insane. You’re craving him like you never did with anyone before.

“Kneel on the couch for me, baby” he orders and you immediately do, you turn your head just in time to see him taking off his boxers, freeing his already hard and swollen cock. Your knees sink into the pillows and your hands rest on the armrest, you are completely exposed to his will.

He gets behind you on his knees, gripping your hips and pulling you towards him.

“Fuck me Joel, please, fuck me now” you cry

“Such a good girl, begging for my cock like that. You learn quickly, little finch”

You only feel the tip poking at your entrance, he slides his cock against your dripping folds “Beg once more, babe”

You writhe, it’s more than you can take right now, you want him desperately.

“Please, Joel. Please” your voice sounds distraught but you don’t care, not now.

He enters you with a single thrust that makes you scream “Fuck!”

He’s big, so big that his cock burns in your center.

“I told you you were getting into trouble, baby, if you wanted me to be gentle you should have behaved better”

It's a small punishment you can bear, after a few seconds you already got used to his intrusion, you never felt so full before and right now you couldn’t ask for anything better.

He begins to move slowly, in and out of you, sinking deeper each time and reaching that spot that makes you see stars.

His loud grunts numb your head, his fingers dig into your hips as he thrusts into you, maybe he will leave some marks and the thought excite you even more.

“Oh God, please don’t stop, please”

He’s pounding into you incessantly, every thrust more deep leaving you short breath, you’re so wet that every lewd sounds coming from your cunt is making you feel like you’re on the brink of falling apart.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like that, babe, the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, so perfect for me”

You whine even more at his praises, feeling your pussy clenching hard around his cock.

“Joel please I’m-”

“I know baby, I know, I can feel you, squeezing my cock just right, God you’re taking me so good”

You basically spasm on his cock right now, legs trembling as your sink your fingers in the fabric of the couch desperately trying to hold your posture.

He holds you tightly by your hips, grunting with each thrust into you, hitting your cervix again and again.

“Come for me baby, come all over my cock”

You’re quivering so hard that you almost think of being on the verge of losing your mind.

You cry his name feeling so full and dazed while your orgasm explodes inside you.

He pumps into you until you calm down but he’s still throbbing against your walls “Where do you want me?”

“On my tits - please”

He comes out of you and you lie down on his couch, his throbbing cock is in front of you, he takes it in his hand, milking it a couple of time before releasing his cum all over you. He moans loudly as he paints your tits and chest with his pleasure.

He lies down on top of you, groaning “God, this was amazing”

You feel his sticky seed spreading on your skin but you don't care, you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him softly.

He moves to the side so as not to weigh you down and takes you in his arms again.

You hide your face for a moment in the crook of his neck, inhaling his woody, citrusy perfume, with a hint of the natural sweaty scent of his skin. He smells amazingly.

“I could get used to it” you giggle

“Me too, little finch” and he leaves a kiss on your hair.

“Oh, you made completely forgot about it, do you know what day it is today?”

“No, should I?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you. It’s my birthday.”

His eyes widen, “Really?”

“Yep”

“Well then happy birthday. Did you like your present?”

“It’s the best I’ve ever received”

You kiss him again, knowing how true it is.

“We should take a shower,” he laughs.

“Yeah, you’re… well…all over me…but to be honest, I like it.”

He smiles widely “Come on little finch, I might have another gift for you in the bathroom”

“Oh, then I can’t wait to unwrap it”

[virtie333]

Your post about your Damerey origins got me curious... I've never gotten into x-files fics, but I did watch the show in reruns and there was just... no one cooler than Dana Scully (except Batman, but like... he was fictional and Dana seemed like a real person to me b/c my delusions started early in my life).

I've really been mulling over a re-watch. I'm a completist and would have no choice but to watch it top to bottom, movies and all.

Buuuuut.... do you have any favorite season arcs or episodes?????

Wow, this question really made me think. Honestly, this show was so much a part of me for so many years, it's hard to imagine that I haven't watched a single episode in years! Coming here to Tumblr and connecting with people who are current fans has helped my inner Phile reemerge, and I too crave a re-watch. And like you, I'd have to start from the beginning.

I can't say I have a favorite arc. Obviously the Cancer arc was the most important, but as a whole I've just always considered the series as one story (kind of like Star Wars; it's hard for me to watch just one movie, I have to watch them all). I can point out episodes I love from every season, although I will admit Season 6 is probably my overall favorite, hopeless romantic that I am.

I absolutely adore the first movie, Fight the Future, and can watch that over and over and over. I saw it in theaters 5 times, which tied a record for me that wasn't broken until The Force Awakens came out.

My three favorite episodes are:

Pusher

Triangle

Beyond the Sea

Other eps I know by heart include: Ice, Irresistible, War of the Coprophages, Grotesque, Paper Hearts, Small Potatoes, Bad Blood, Folie a Deux, Monday, The Unnatural, En Ami, Je Souhaite, This is Not Happening/Deadalive, Audrey Pauley, and Improbable. I enjoyed parts of the revival, but not enough to really get into it, and I was not happy with what they did to William, so I have trouble accepting Seasons 10 and 11 as canon. I loved seeing David and Gillian together again, but I wish they had stayed with Monster of the Week episodes instead of making the Conspiracy even more confusing and unbelievable than it already was. Also hate what they did to Monica and Skinner. So, yeah...

Anyway, this show truly changed my life. It gave me the best friends in the world, as we met on-line over 20 years ago and are still friends to this day. Here we are through the years; the first one we are on the Queen Mary, where they filmed Triangle, back in 2007. The last was my 50th birthday last year at Galaxy's Edge.

And of course, it's what first got me started in fanfiction.

I may be devoted to Damerey, but I will always be a Phile and proud to be an original shipper.

[epickiya722]

as much as i LOVE genderbent stuff, i just NEED a part 2 of that AU, it ended on such a cliffhanger!! 😭😭+ i'm heavily biased about this, but i just NEED to see you writing higuruma, your writing is so good i just would love to see your take on his character!! now for an actual question, did you had any playlist/song in mind when writing the 1st part of that jjk au??

I really did enjoy writing that fic, but I was ultimately surprised about the comments I was getting for it, I won't lie. I guess because the first comment was "Yuji needs therapy" and that was it.

So I had whiplash when the next comments I got were paragraphs of how they loved the fic. Like, my heart was touched!

Spoiler alert coming up for those who haven't read the fic, that I'll be linking below so you can read it.

I actually didn't have any songs in mind writing the fic! In fact, I didn't listen to anything, including background noise like a video.

The fic was just more inspired by the many thoughts I had over the past couple of days. (I mentioned this in my end notes.)

The central idea was "could Yuji be a vessel for Tengen"? That came since I was rereading Tengen's debut chapter.

Another idea was the exploration of Yuji's relationships with the other characters and because it was a canon divergence, that included Kenjaku. I'm sure many of the fandom wished they had more interactions in canon. (So yeah, folks, Yuta doesn't kill Kenjaku in this fic! Left that to someone else. 😉) Same with Satoru and Yuki, they're here, too. And I had to write Megumi, Nobara and Choso's relationships with Yuji.

There's also the Twin Theory. I wanted to give that a go in this fic and I'm surprised I managed to fit it into the story the way I did! It's just one of those theories that I like and find interesting and it fits into the story of JJK since the topic of twins has been touched on before. (The Hasaba & Zenin twins.)

Lastly, I wanted to explore Yuji as a character. I already have quite a bit of stories where Yuji is a central character, but only one of them I can think if is where his character is explored like how it is here. This time, I wanted to try writing out his selflessness to help people. It's a strength he had as well as a weakness. His selflessness also makes him reckless a bit and also neglect to think about how others would feel. Hardest parts I have wrote in the fic, really, because oh my gosh those bits hurt.

For a next part, I wanna try writing more of some of the other characters that haven't gotten much of the spotlight before in the first bit and in canon.

Hiromi is one of those characters, I just haven't thought about exactly how I'll bring him in yet. Still brainstorming ideas.

Uro is another character since I loved writing her in The Pink Sky and Cherry Blossoms. She wasn't in a lot of the canon storyline, but she is a character that left a big impression on me.

That's all I really have to say! I just wanted to ramble a little and express how I feel. It was just an experience writing that fic! And of course, I don't mind other questions about it if anyone wants to ask!

Also, for those who haven't read it yet, here's the link!

[themelodicenigma]

***Long post, oh boy.

It is interesting that I've gotten some Asks about Fang and Vanille circulating on Twitter because of FFXVI. Lol I have seen the posts, and also the resistance of it from those who feel like it's looking down on Dion/Terrance (which I kind of agree with, let them have their spotlight).

Overall, we really just shouldn't care too much about that.

A lot of the fandom drama is just bleh at this point (really always was), and when you've seen SO much for years, it's easy to tell what is what. I mean, I'm now seeing people fighting over Jill/Clive of whether they're romantic or not, or if they align more with Clerith or Cloti. Lol Just why.

However, as for what some of ya'll requested from me about Fang and Vanille, to talk about how they're different from Jill/Clive or Vaan/Penelo—I mean, that's easy.

Jill/Clive? It's a random line in her young profile at the beginning that mentions Clive and Joshua "love her as a sister"—the same beginning that immediately has an NPC say Jill/Clive make a "handsome pair", show hardly any typical sibling action, dialogue, or contextual connotation between Jill/Clive in any scene (where they barely really interact until the Moon screen), and the interactions they do have don't really naturally fit into the box of "these two love each other as siblings or Clive views her as a younger sister". Apparently, it's also BOTH the ENG and JPN that mention a sibling relationship. Either way, the game also straight-forwardly writes them as romantic, so it doesn't matter even if it was true or not—unless you're trying to argue he thinks of her as both, there's no doubt they're romantic. Like, seriously, if you haven't finished the game well....trust, you'll find out they're romantic.

Vaan/Penelo? Well first, as far as I'm concerned, the BradyGames guide from years past is the one that carries the assumption that they're "brother and sister". Otherwise, the game, Ultimania, and even the Archive Ultimania only mention they're "like family"—in which case, this is obviously in reference to their orphan past where they were already childhood friends. Reks (Vaan's brother) went to war and Vaan's parents died, Vaan stays with Penelo's family as a result, and then soon after Penelo's parents ALSO died, and then now they BOTH were orphaned along with a bunch of other kids and grew up together working for Migelo as a group of orphans. It's not written for no reason or something that is not true—they're like family. And of course, you know that's a descriptor of a bond, of closeness—YOU can assume it defaults and is limited to a sibling relationship, but technically that's not true, and very often isn't. So, it doesn't even contrast their romanticism (which is hinted at in the 1st game, not just the 2nd), not to mention, it's not even a focus between their characters in the story. The friendship is really the focus, while the family aspect is more expressed for Vaan through dealing with his actual brother's death. The family in relation to their past and part of their bond is definitely a thing, don't get me wrong, but it's hardly emphasized within the game and a center for what they express about and to each other. That'd be the friendship, you just also happen to have romanticism applied eventually as well.

Fang and Vanille, though? It's the major focus of their characters, the family concept flows through them intentionally, consistently, and is also specific to being as sisters. Not to mention, it then is applicable to ALL things shown between them and EXPLAINS their behavior towards each other. In the Games, FFXIII and FFXIII World Previews, Ultimanias + Other credible guides like Piggyback, VA interviews, novelizations—this never stops being true for them and something implemented more than you'd EVER see between Clive/Jill or Vaan/Penelo. And it all "coincidentally" flows together as a whole for the family/sister application.

FFXIII World Preview - their introduction on the relationship chart is "same family surname". Even before the game's release, the family connotation is applied to them. While we learn the REASON in-world is because of them being from the same village, this more than obviously is for the purpose of serving the continuous family connotation THROUGH Fang and Vanille specifically to emphasis this, as supported by all other points below. Also, just a small thought, why choose this to introduce the characters mysteriously, and then later have a plethora of familial confirmations, if it's something that isn't representative of exactly what it foretells?

FFXIII Ultimania Chart - "relationship like sisters", enough said. Unlike Vaan/Penelo, it specifies WHAT family relationship they have. They didn't pull back from "same family surname", they took it steps further. The relationship chart is informative of something about the characters, and obviously the content can show something more than just the chosen moniker (e.g. Aqua/Terra/Ven aren't just "fellow pupils"), but it also isn't something that is FALSE information unless the content TELLS you it's false. It normally doesn't, and certainly didn't for Fang and Vanille, as per below.

FFXIII Scenario Ultimania, Archive Ultimania, LR Complete Guide - literally, everywhere, ESPECIALLY in writings relative to Fang, who is the older sister, protector, and most concerned over the other—this also correlates to why Fang's character centers around Vanille's more than the other way around (more on that later). Her descriptions really capture WHY she is the way she is towards Vanille and why the center of her character is protecting Vanille and keeping her from turning into a Cie'th. The FFXIII Scenario Ultimania even directly says in Fang's profile "Vanille is not just a childhood friend from the same hometown" and guess what works alongside this description: "To Fang, Vanille is an irreplaceable family member", "grew up like sisters", "they have a bond beyond family", “Since the original Final Fantasy XIII, Fang has always strived to protect Vanille, considering her as her own family", etc. etc. etc. Family, family, family. Being friends is absolutely a thing, don't get it twisted, but the family aspect not only in retrospect to growing up together, but in HOW they see each other, is consistent, ESPECIALLY for Fang. The Lightning Returns Complete Guide is from Piggyback, who is known for having the developers involved in the conception of their guides as well, and Toriyama himself is quoted in the book saying Fang considers Vanille as family.

FFXII Scenario Ultimania Stories - As a bonus, in Benny Matsuyama's short stories for all the characters, including separately in both Fang and Vanille's stories—in both stories, he doubles down on the same things as above, describing how Fang has this strong conviction and vow of protecting Vanille, who is like her younger sister, and wants to stop her from becoming a Cie'th. While Matsuyama's canonicity through BentStuff is a complete other conversation, there is the consideration of the fact he's reiterating something that has already been applied as opposed to making it up, not to mention, his novella and the character he created in the FFXIII Ultimania Omega were made canon, and he's in the staff credits for Lightning Returns.

FFXIII Ultimania Omega Interview - even Fang's VA mentions how "To Fang, Vanille is like a younger sister", and relates that to why she relates to Fang since she has a younger sister too, and thus understands the strong conviction Fang has in protecting Vanille.

The FFXIII Game - now I don't think the game itself specifically mentions them being "like sister" (at least in the dialogue, as I've gone through the script of the cutscenes), but the family aspect is something they carry pretty heavily, especially for the group. Vanille's narration talking about family and the regrets of not keeping them as close as you should, Vanille introducing the idea of "On Gran Pulse, everyone is family", Fang and Vanille emphasizing that their village is a close-knit family when arriving to Oerba, Fang assuring Vanille "we have a new family now" and the Ulti Omega doubling down by saying that this line clearly shows how Fang sees the group as her family, and of course, Fang trying to sacrifice herself to fulfill her promise to "protect her family" when the group faces Orphan. Fang's worry and conviction to protect Vanille, and extending this to her expanded family, is shown greatly.

-Zero Promise- Novelization - the novelization is the treasure trove for Fang and Vanille's context as character, their family/sister relationship (along with friendship, of course), and their past. It even features two direct parallels between Lightning and Fang for the sake of showing how Fang views Vanille like a little sister. Even Vanille, in the moment they became L'Cie at their village, tells Fang about how despite being orphans, they were raised together, and were family. There's also the additional context of Fang being like the "woman/adult" while Vanille is like "the child", emphasizing the child-like personality of Vanille by how she always slept next to Fang (also with other kids in the village, before they became L'Cie) from her fears of loneliness, and Fang recounting this of her looking after her being a "crybaby". Naturally, all of this does naturally fit within a context where there's an older sibling and a younger sibling. There usually isn't, but if there are concerns over canonicity—Jun Eishima, the author of this novel (and the FFXIII-2 novels), was hired directly by SE to write her novelizations and to have them published through SE individually, had them featured in the World Previews of both FFXIII and XIII-2, had another short story called -Episode i- featured with the Xbox 360 release of FFXIII, AND was the Story Advisor for the actual FFXIII-2 game. So, it's safe to say she's an authentic additional party to the series as an author, even more than Matsuyama.

-Episode i- Novelization - this short story features the group slightly post-the ending of FFXIII. The story shows the groups conviction for saving Fang and Vanille from the crystal stasis, which sets up this same conviction expressed from all of them (especially Snow and Hope) in FFXIII-2. More importantly, how this conviction is shaped by the familial bond they created with Fang and Vanille, and they remark how this meaning came from Vanille's famous line: "On Gran Pulse, everyone is family".

FFXIII-2 World Preview Book - continuing the trend, Fang and Vanille are described as "like family" once again in the relationship chart. And at this point, we already know HOW they're like family: sisters.

FFXIII-2 Game/Novelization - This first point is really kind of a bonus that is congruent to the comparison of Lightning and Fang, but in FFXIII-2 when Serah meets Fang for the first time, she talks about how Fang reminded her of Lightning. There's also the "Daughters of Etro" moniker they gain through prophecy and the "Legend of Cocoon" Noel speaks on—this is obviously congruent with the concept of them being family/sisters to one another, it just throws in the context of a connection to Etro. Interestingly enough, the ENG localization also recounts the legend through Noel as them being called "the sisters", as well, though this line of dialogue in JPN from Noel is still "the daughters". This meaning is also talked about within the novelizations Fragments Before and Fragments After.

FFXIII: Lightning Returns Game - And of course, Fangs conviction to protect Vanille is STILL the center of her character, to the point she leaves Vanille in order to accomplish this. Lightning will remark this, wondering what made Fang leave since they have "a bond beyond/stronger than family". At this point, it's obvious why family is the foundation of this descriptor, but also how it works as a nice descriptor that comments on the strength of this bond, and how it is stronger than the already strong bond of family bonds.

And the most important thing as demonstrated above? They don't stray from this—they build upon it. There's no deviation, there's no making it false, there's no "this is a lie and it's actually romantic". This IS the characters and their relationship—perhaps the most important difference between them and Clive/Jill or Vaan/Penelo. Within all this, there is no "coded/subtext" of romance, when all things expressed in the game fits within ALL that is provided above and is congruent to one another for the same conclusion: Fang and Vanille are family, are sisters, and very much so care a lot about each other. As you can see, it was given in a multitude of ways throughout the existence of all 3 games and corresponding material relative to them. This especially for Fang—a character who is older, has grown up taking care of a younger character in a family setting, and whose main priority is protecting them and looking after them: this doesn't just fit in the sibling/parental [hogosha] box, it is THE box itself. Are there stories that deviate, that subvert this and make it romantic? Absolutely, I've seen them myself. But, it's a deviation for a reason, it's "different than what it appears as" for a reason—because it's not what is natural for a romantic relationship to develop. There's a reason Fang is consistently compared and paired with Lightning, who is also not only just a sibling to Serah, but also a hogosha [parental figure]. I would make the same argument for Fang too.

One thing I've seen actively in the way is the very typical urge to use our personal interpretations more than the content to understand something. The bar for romanticism is REALLY low in how people perceive things, and that's a wider conversation on how media itself was the influence on this, kind of negatively if you ask me. Glorification of romanticism and sex is a thing. Like really, it's what part of me understands HOW people can see Fang and Vanille as romantic, but also, WHY I know they also should be able to see it as platonic, too. I believe this is an important aspect of talking about perception and media. However, we can't be blinded by it—logically or emotionally. There's not a single thing they've done that can't be understood through the lens of what the material has given you to understand it. Use the lens of the information, not your own personal interpretation if you want to KNOW Fang and Vanille. If you want to ship the hek out of them despite this, fine—I don't care about that specifically, but it would be nice if people recognized and also talked about who the characters actually are outside of their headcanon. That way, when things that are just misconceptions are said, people who know better can say something.

Fang originally being a man? Actually, they both were in a sense. And, not only is it a "coincidence" that the construction of Fang's character is centered on her "wanting to save Vanille", but also that one of the reasons Fang was turned into a female was to AVOID the feeling of romance between Fang and Vanille. Interesting how that little detail is left out by those mentioning this (one could even argue it's slightly homophobic, but that's a whole other convo). Either way, it makes sense as to why the center of Fang's character is her conviction to protect Vanille—it's what she was created for, and we see HOW they chose to execute that: to protect Vanille, her younger sister, her family.

Fang and Vanille being like the Ragnarok legend? It's pretty easy to understand what was/wasn't used with the Lif and Lifthrasir comparison. They're a duo, seemingly the last of the Pulse civilization, and associated with Ragnarok—that's where the similarity ends and how far it was utilized, obviously as based on the above. Something done in media all the time is the utilization of concepts, but not ALL details are 1:1. Happens all the time, and when the storytelling is directly referencing the concept itself (like True Love's Kiss or an Act of Pure Love), it's actually a specific point to SUBVERT from romance and apply it differently.

Vanille talking about never sleeping alone? This is literally linked to the "child-like" aspect of her character—of her fears and sadness of loneliness, and quite frankly the trauma of being orphaned. She's never slept alone, and Vanille recounts this in lieu of herself and ALL the orphans (before they're L'Cie)—it wasn't just Fang in her recollection, but Fang is the one she is closest to and relied on the most. Sleeping alone = fear of loneliness. Fang recounts the same idea in lieu of Vanille's "crybaby" personality—"Vanille would always cry, waking up from a bad dream, holding on to Fang and begging her not to leave her alone. She had always been like that, since they were children."—and naturally, this coincides with Fang's role of taking care of her since they were kids. Surely we're not confused on how that fits with a sibling dynamic more naturally than a romantic one? Then lastly, what is probably even the inspiration of this from the -Zero- Promise novel, is the wholesome/sad scene in the FFXIII game when Vanille, after making a deal about Sazh not invading her sleeping space, sneaks over to sleep next to him, crying, and Sazh allows it, calling her a kid. I mean, it's literally outlined three separate times. Nothing to do with romance, it's about Vanille's character. Unless, you really think Vanille was coming onto Sazh as opposed to dealing with trauma. Knowing the internet, I'm sure that's a ship somewhere, but it ain't it.

Fang lifting up Vanille's skirt to see her brand on her upper thigh? That is, to see if she is close to death, being a Cie'th? The very thing she's been stressing about the entire game up to that point? In this, we can also include the ability of Fang and Vanille hugging or holding each other's hands when they're sacrificing themselves. Basically, physical intimacy.

Boy, this one is a rant for me, and it's hard to be nice about it.

The L'Cie brand is practically almost like a wound, and they're constantly in s state of worry of it getting worse, with it being their ticking time clock towards losing themselves to becoming Cie'th. This is one of Fang's biggest concerns for Vanille along with protecting her.

Now, take their outward personalities that reinforce they're not one to make a big deal about seeing skin, their close-knit familial upbringing + being sisters within this environment—supplemented by the info that supports Fang being the older sister whose main concern is Vanille's safety and turning into a Cie'th + Vanille, who is the younger sister and like a "child", them both being females, and how Fang wordlessly moves Vanille to do this while Vanille has no protest, which can be reminiscent of a mother/child, which "coincidentally" flows with the above, etc. If you seriously can't understand in any way how this interaction fits within the information of the above, platonically, and doesn't showcase anything relative to "this can only happen if they're fucking"—then there's not much else to be said other than, maybe expand your understanding of human interaction and personalities in media (not even just JPN, either)? That's the nicest and most understanding way I can put it. Take in anything, where a sibling dynamic and their capability of interaction isn't just bickering and tussling with one another. Please. It's super easy, and has been done before or even further in so much other content, all across JPN media. There's SO many characters with strong sibling relationships. For SE games, also look at FFXIII itself—Lightning and Hope, Hope and Vanille (the beginning), Sarah and Vanille even share a moment when they meet, Lightning and Serah's interaction at the end of XIII-2, etc. It's everywhere. Yuna and Rikku's hug scene in FFX, Aqua's general intimacy towards Ventus in the KH series, etc. There's not a single thing Fang and Vanille has done that isn't covered under what has been given about their characters, and it's not even like, that much. I mean, Elsa and Anna between Frozen 1 and 2 show more I'd say. "B-but, but, hugs in Japanese media are always—". Nope, go read, watch, anything, please. Now, there can be a certain conversation of expectations between say, a female and male (and even this isn't absolute), but between females? Showing physical intimacy and closeness, not only in real-time of the story but also in key art? Super common. Easy.

There's even a conversation for the sake of how Fang and Vanille specifically are the way they are because of this upbringing, so Fang not making a big deal about even checking Lightning's brand despite being a stranger, Vanille and Serah sharing a moment while being strangers, and even how quickly Vanille physically came to comforting Hope at the beginning of the game—it's more about their personalities and familial/close-knit characterization.

Like, c'mon man. There's "I can see this happening between a couple but also know it can happen without it", and then there's "there's no 'heterosexual' explanation for this". One shows understanding and wisdom, the other, either just uninformed or purposely ignorant of the fact that, yes, they give you an explanation. Over, and over, and over again, in multiple sources, in multiple ways, as shown above. Realize the whole "I would never do that with my sister" is not evidential of what CAN and HAS been done for other sisters or sibling characters. I mean, if you're sincerely not use to seeing all types of physical or descriptive expressions that can happen between this configuration of characterization, I'm not sure how you'd make it through most JPN content to be honest and not tell the difference between what's sexual or platonic, or even American content like Four Brothers, The Outsiders, Frozen, etc., without believing all the siblings (blood related or not) are all having sex with each other. Also, I think it's interesting to note that most physical interactions are initiated by Fang, the older sister, who's main priority is protecting and looking after her younger sister—it certainly matches the same energy you'll see from older sisters in JPN media who show love and comfort to their younger sisters.

Fang would "be everyone's enemy/tear the sky down" just to save Vanille and this is like "Snow's language" towards Serah? I mean, have you seen Supernatural? XD Also like, again, ANY JPN content with an older and younger sibling, whose sole motivation and characterization is protecting their younger sibling? It's called conviction (as we covered, Fang was created specifically to have for Vanille), and considering Serah and her happiness is Lighting's "reason for living and her greatest reward", who Lighting has "the same beloved feeling" for that is the same depth as Snow, is what, "coincidentally", Fang herself uses to motivate Lightning to keep going when she contemplates giving up, who Lightning does turn against Cocoon for in order to save, and who is THE most important component to Lightning's agency in the 3rd game and is the key to her character arc—I'm sure Lightning isn't far off from what Fang is. Again, there's the novella equating them, and also, Serah being reminded of Lightning when she finally meets Fang—this conviction to protect and save your loved ones is something, really, all the characters show. It isn't just Snow, nor is it just Fang. And, Fang just so happens to have this conviction in a way that has been repeatedly linked to "protecting Vanille, her younger sister".

Fang and Vanille having a "bond beyond family"? First, notice how family is still the basis of this bond, the conventional relationship type that is the most versatile AND the top signifier of closeness. So "bond" here isn't relationship type, it's in the same vein of the "reason for existing", "irreplaceable", "unbreakable", "most important thing", etc. descriptors that you get to show how a relationship goes beyond just a type, which all the above is beyond simply being family. The logic of romance being "beyond family" also doesn't make any sense because it literally is it's own sector in family—I mean, the conventional point of a romantic relationship is TO become family. Also for this specific phrase, funny enough, I've only ever seen it used platonically or specifically with no romanticism application, e.g. in Boruto, Sakura tells her daughter that her and Naruto became "more than family". It's like literally the same Kanji phrasing too (家族以上 - kazoku ijou). I haven't even seen it used in a romantic context, but I'm sure it very well could be. It's also funny that, Lightning says this about Fang and Vanille, of how Fang would "never just leave Vanille all alone", but "coincidentally" (this is getting fun, huh), Hope says Sazh had mentioned practically THE SAME THING about why they wanted to believe Lightning wasn't in the crystal, that Lightning wouldn't "just up and leave Serah like that".

Vanille's VA says she hopes the games will show how Fang and Vanille "have a bond more powerful than friendship"—I mean, yeah? They're family, something stronger than friendship. Bond-wise? Absolutely. They have a bond BEYOND even that. See the above, how is this specifically and only romantic? Keep in mind, this is also the same interview where Fang's VA directly says "To Fang, Vanille is like a younger sister", seeing herself in Fang because she has her own younger sister, and relates of the feeling of "protecting small children" that comes with this. Like you know, "coincidentally", like how Vanille as a younger sister is also "childlike" in disposition and a "cute, crybaby" to Fang. Neither this phrase or "bond beyond family" are inherently romantic, and they're very applicable to other multiple relationship types because it's for the sake of describing the strength of a bond.

Fang and Vanille still live with each other at the end of LR? You mean, two people who have lived together since they were children as a close-knit family, have a whole arc involving them separating and reuniting in BOTH games, and are thrust into a new world with the two still being each other's closest family? A world of which is also still very different than the one they came from? You mean two people like THAT would still live together? I am shocked and dismayed. I feel a little sassy here because, c'mon. I'd also like to point out that the idea of "never being apart/leaving each other's side" is congruent with their history, but also is something expressed in the storytelling of Vanille's fear of loneliness, in which even WAY back in the FFXIII novelization Zero Promise, she expresses to Fang “We might be orphans, but we were raised together. We’re family. We can protect everyone together. We’ll be together forever… no matter what happens, we’ll never be apart.” when being turned into L'Cie. So, it's very fitting, but also still within the context that is repeatedly there.

Let the material speak for itself. Which it does. A lot. And you don't have to do much other than just finding it and absorbing it. I feel like, there's STILL more that I could say, but this is the brunt gist of understanding Fang and Vanille.

[cyberbumbles]

I haven't really posted in a while, part of the reason has just been that I haven't really cared much about posting online, the other half is just that over the last half a year that I felt really burnt out on art as a whole.

In the last week I upgraded my pc and in the process messed up and got my drive with all my art stored on it corrupted, I ended up having to wipe the drive completely. The backups for those files and for the majority of my art was also corrupted, and so I ended up losing the last 4 years of my art history. All of the base files were gone, and only the images I've shared online or with friends are what I could potentially scavenge to try and get everything back. I lost a lot of personal files though, and all the animation wips I had I'll never be able to work on again.

I'm thinking of posting again now, as for one as much as it kinda destroyed me, it also made me feel a bit more free as a lot of pieces I'd been struggling to pick up again or finish after months I could no longer touch. I also want an actual archive online for what I create and while I could continue to store what I have personally, I think I need to stop being so scared of putting myself out there properly.

Here's to the first active(hopefully) post of what is to be my new art history.

[vivvy-of-the-lake]

allo allo... i see your tags all the time and i just want to know i really appreciate the enthusiasm 👼 i'm a fellow writer (i just haven't gotten around to writing bocchi stuff lol) but i'd be jumping with joy if you ever wrote a fic about my stuff at some point... tag me in it and stuff. thanks for enjoying my work 🫶

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FLATTERED I AM OH MY FUCKING GOD YOUR ART IS SO AMAZING AND I NEVER THOUGHT MY SILLY LITTLE TAGS COULD BE APPRECIATED LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are SUCH an amazing artist oh my GOD i love your work SO much i'm so honoured holy SHIT

(seriously i just sat there freaking out for 15 minutes upon first seeing this oh my GODDDDDDDDD)

i would be HONOURED to write a fic based on your works!!! i have a few half-formed ideas bouncing around in my head but honestly I'm just so flattered and humbled that you want me to do your works justice in a fic????? i was thinking one day i should ASK you if I could write a fic based on your artwork but you came to me FIRST oh my GOD

i don't know if you've read my works (so far there's only a oneshot and two chapters into a series) but I think you'd enjoy Lend Me Your Hand!

if you are a fan of nijiryo angst (i wonder what could've given me THAT impression ;3) i would also love to recommend the right words! this was written by my now-girlfriend and was one of the major works that got me into writing fics myself!!! :3

(word of warning that it DOES contain sensitive topics such as self harm)

also, if you do decide to write bocchi stuff i would LOVE to talk with you about it!!! there's a very lovely and supportive bocchi fic-writing community and i think you would enjoy being a part of it :3

overall thank you SO MUCH I AM STILL LITERALLY SHAKING OH MY GOD

[decamarks]

Hey there! First off I want to say I *adore* your art, you absolutely 1000% perfectly tap into the vibe and style of late 90's/early 00's 3D models in a way literally no one else does. I think about your art of your fake games' glitches (especially the forum post!!! it's. *perfect.*) all the time :)

And I've noticed how you're always very insightful and kind whenever you answer asks, so thank you for that!

If it's not too intrusive to ask, I was wondering how you went about finding a doctor to get your autism diagnosis? I've been pretty sure for a few years now that I'm on the spectrum, but I've never had a clue how to actually get tested/diagnosed. Especially since I'm an adult female too, and I've heard a ton about how autism is really overlooked/underdiagnosed for people like us.

But seeing that you were able to find someone who avoided all the common pitfalls and was able to actually help you made me want to reach out. I had been wanting to ask you this for a while (as you can probably tell based on what the question was haha) but I was too anxious to actually do it (still am, a bit ><). Again, feel free to ignore this part if it's too personal or you don't want to answer it for any reason!

It feels awkward to end an ask with that, so I'll bookend it with something I think you'll like: have you ever heard of trsrockin.com? It's an old fansite I used to visit religiously as a kid that talked about early Pokemon and Super Mario games and collectibles from them, as well as oddities like glitches from the aforementioned games, forgotten weird one-off SNES games, documenting fake/trick fanmade "cheats" for games, and bootleg merchandise.

It's one of if not the first public place (afaik) that MissingNo. and pals were discovered/talked about, and a little community came together to try and figure out why the glitch happened and what all the effects and variants of it were. Even you've been to trsrockin before and none of this is new info, I thought it would at least be a nice trip down memory lane :)

It's an old site that has since been taken down, and for some reason archive.org can't properly archive the full site/all its links. But luckily someone created a complete mirror of it! You can find it here: http://catfish.it.cx/trsrockin/trsrockin.com/index.html

AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! ;__; you're too kind... i know i haven't posted too much of my 3d work recently, but trust me, i have a LOT more of those faux-retro aesthetics in store with the game i've been working on... >=) i'm always so so happy to see other people appreciate janky ol' 3d graphics, LMFAO

also!! i've definitely heard of trsrockin eheehee... i was a bit too young to use it when it was in its prime (and also more of a bulbapedia enthusiast), but i've perused some archived pages before! old internet forums & fansites are just the best thing in the world...

ANYWAY: regarding your question! Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm the best person to give advice about this, because I feel like I kind of got my diagnosis by chance... Essentially: I started seeing a new therapist; she suggested I might be on the spectrum, I said, "Yeah maybe IDK"; I got a referral to an evaluator—and then an incredibly expensive diagnosis after a few months of waiting and testing.

My case differs in that I didn't really suspect being on the spectrum myself. Which seems a bit silly, considering I now realize I am... observably autistic. In abundance. But it was genuinely hard to puzzle out, what with all my other problems (particularly, severe misophonia, which can be REALLY hard to differentiate from general sensory sensitivity.) So about specifically seeking out a diagnosis, I unfortunately can't give a good answer. But I'm willing to talk about the rest, on the off-chance it ends up helpful! (Under the cut at least.)

I don't like to be too open about my Issues™ online—but I got a whole lot of them, and they used to be a lot worse than they are now, so I was stuck in that perpetual "adolescent with treatment-resistant depression" purgatory for, like... my entire adolescence! Because no one knew what the hell was wrong with me. I'm barely in adulthood now, but I'm extremely thankful to be broken out of that. Both the 'treatment-resistant depression' diagnoses AND the adolescence. Being told with authority that I, indeed, have an untreated case of mega-autism—and not an irreparably broken brain whose electrical activities zap SSRIs straight out of existence—is definitely relieving. And now I can confidently say shit like 'mega-autism', so like, wins all around.

About getting a diagnosis in general: in my case, I kind of needed one, because it would be not be feasible for me to go to school/work/exist without accommodations of some kind. (The evaluation I had was, in part, just to get a psychological report of any kind, since I desperately needed supporting documentation to request accommodations anywhere.) Otherwise, I'm honestly not sure if I'd bother?

On one hand, an official diagnosis is an incredibly affirming thing to have—especially if you didn't even suspect it before; things start making a lot of sense afterwards, LOL—but on the other hand, it is a tedious and kind of humiliating process. And possibly expensive.

And then, like you mentioned, there's the problem of some doctors being biased or plainly godawful at their job/poorly designed systems ruining everything for everyone. It's probably for incompetency on those ends that a diagnosis managed to elude me for nineteen years straight. (Vividly recalling the time my school had a counselor give me an impromptu autism evaluation, in which she concluded that I "didn't seem to have autism, but would probably get along really well with autistic people." WHATEVER THAT MEANT.) But! It's not impossible to get someone who knows what they're doing! I'd love to say otherwise, but I really did just stumble into a decent doctor... There's a lot of luck involved, and man. I did not get good RNG at first. (← I'M SORRY FOR BEING A GAMER.)

I went into the evaluation doubting I had it, and heavily doubting that I'd be diagnosed, but like... Hold on let me reach across your desk and slide you the answers to the autism test. The trick is to not even try to be normal, I think. Intermittently talk about CRT monitors, and how you like learning ciphers, and Pokemon glitches—or whatever else you're into. But those specifically worked for me! "Don't mask", is what I'm saying. (Really though, I think if you're answering everything to the best of your ability, properly administered tests done by a doctor who doesn't suck should be able to diagnosis you. If they don't, then the problem is something systemic, and far beyond anything I could reasonably give advice about...)

ANYWAY! (x2) I'm honestly not sure if any of this is particularly helpful, but if you decide to pursue it, I wish you luck with getting your diagnosis!! It's definitely a bit of a hellish thing to do—but dammit, if it's worth it to you, then it's definitely worth doing.

YOUR REWARD FOR READING THIS WHOLE POST IS: "Kinesin_walking.gif"

YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH