#Have you ever physically FELT the thread of your own sanity slipping through your fingers?

[lavenderprose]

The thing about Stede and Izzy is that they have lesbian sex. I don't care what their genders are. Stede and Izzy spontaneously create lesbian sex when they bang. Welcome to my brand new and improved miasma theory.

[littlemisspascal]

Death and an Angel part 14.5

Death!Din x Cupid F!Reader

Summary:  And it’s unbelievable, truly, that he’s found someone who makes him feel as though he’s flying and falling simultaneously. 

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,701

Warnings: angst, dialogue heavy, language, angst, Violence, plot plot plot, did I mention angst? Cuz it’s here

Author Note: Texas weather is no laughing matter and never have I hated snow more than these last few days. This is definitely more of a transition segment so I wrote shorter snippets as a result, but there is some serious plot development nevertheless. The response to last chapter was so amazing I can’t thank everyone enough for all the love and support 💖💖💖

Links to Part 1 and Part 14 and Part 15

Cross-posted on AO3.

Photo Inspiration:

Ahsoka hijacks the Razor Crest as soon as Din teleports her aboard the ship. She pushes Din out of the cockpit, refusing to let him so much as glimpse the coordinates of the destination she inputs into the nav computer. The Oracle hadn’t been kidding when she said she didn’t trust him going alone to rescue his soulmate.

Bo-Katan hadn’t been phased by Ahsoka’s arrival, adapting to her presence with the same ease as a duck to water. However, Din couldn’t help noticing the moment her mask of cool indifference slipped when Ahsoka asked the reaper to stay in the cockpit with her, claiming they had important matters to discuss. 

Din climbs down the ladder into the hull, recognizing that the conversation about to ensue is not one he needs to be involved in. Fingers twitching restlessly, he commits himself to checking each of the weapons in his armory, sharpening his vibroblades and loading a set of whistling birds into his vambrace. He’d made a promise to Ahsoka against killing Moff Gideon, but he’d made no vow against scarring the Seraph beyond recognition.

When Din’s finished with him, Gideon will be a warning to the rest of the galaxy what happens if you steal from Death. 

He stills at the thrum of satisfaction that runs through his body at the thought of pressing Gideon’s eyeballs out with his thumbs. The darkness within him has grown stronger since he killed Hess and it’s becoming an increasingly harder challenge denying its craving for bloodshed. If not for Ahsoka’s intervention, he would have reaped Xi’an’s soul, breaking another sacred rule. He should feel grateful, but the darkness expresses annoyance instead, upset to have been denied its kill. 

There is a thought that has been plaguing the back of his mind, shackled in the same corner as his other doubts and regrets. He once had iron control over his powers and emotions, but now he’s holding onto his human façade by a mere thread. So slowly he hadn’t even been aware it was happening, his darkness has usurped his morality. 

He’s meant to be a neutral entity, but when he looks at his reflection in the fresher mirror all he sees is a weapon. 

Obsidian orbs have replaced brown eyes. Flawless tan skin has become dissected by lines of ink that once were blue veins. 

Darkness is corrupting him from the inside out, making him a slave to the power he once mastered.

And he doesn’t have a fucking clue how to stop it. 

~~

Bo-Katan joins him in the hull an hour later. She doesn’t say anything , just leans against the wall across from him, and Din continues cleaning the barrel of his amban rifle as if he doesn’t see her. 

The silence isn’t tense or uncomfortable, but he feels her gaze trying to penetrate his helmet. He knows the reaper well-enough to tell there is a question on her mind, but her hesitance to voice it unsettles him. Bo-Katan rarely holds her tongue around him, preferring blunt honesty over sugarcoating, which means whatever is on her mind must be serious. 

He bites back a sigh when she starts restlessly shifting in place and pauses his task. “Ahsoka told you,” he says at last.

“That Moff Gideon fucked with our lives?” Bo-Katan snorts humorlessly. “Yeah, she showed me everything.”

“I’m sorry about your sister.”

“Me too. But it’s...good not being in the dark anymore. I needed to hear the truth,” she replies stoically, but the pointless adjustment of her headband betrays her internal strife. There is a moment of pause before she looks at him again. “I heard about your promise,” she says, and it’s not really a question, except that it is.

Din’s fingers tighten around the rifle. “Did she make you swear the same one?”

“No.” Bo-Katan shakes her head. “No, she didn’t.”

He’s not surprised by the answer. He actually thinks he should have expected it, considering the universe has always held him to a stricter standard than other entities. 

“Ahsoka made it clear to me that this is something between you, Gideon, and your angel alone. I cannot interfere just like you cannot kill him.”

There is bitter resignation in her tone. He recognizes it because he felt the same when he made his promise to Ahsoka. No one likes being told no when they want something. But this—knowing with absolute certainty Gideon is the one responsible for hurting their loved ones and being told you can’t do anything to avenge them? This is the kind of pain that will linger for years to come as an ache in their bones and a scar over their hearts.

It isn’t fair. But Din’s lived long enough to know the universe never intended life to be that way.

“Can I ask you a favor?” Bo-Katan asks, pulling him out of his thoughts.

He blinks at her, realizing this is the question she’d been withholding since she came down the ladder. Never has she asked him a request before. “What is it?”

“You must separate Gideon from the Darksaber,” she answers, expression one of absolute seriousness. “The Armorer warned my people if the Lightsaber was ever mishandled, it would turn against the wielder by transforming into the Darksaber. Instead of empowering you, it deceives you. Fills your head with delusions until you lose your grip on reality entirely.”

“And you want to spare Gideon’s sanity?” Din asks slowly.

“Of course not. The son of a bitch deserves to be punished for his crimes. Even if I did want to,” her lips curl into a snarl at the thought, “there’s no way of undoing the damage done to his mind. What I want is for the weapon to be returned to the Armorer. She’s the only one who can properly dispose of it.”

“Right,” he agrees quietly. Anything that comes out of the Armorer’s forge is built to last the length of eternity. He could toss the Darksaber into the center of a sun and it’d remain whole and unaffected, waiting to twist the mind of the next wielder. Nodding his head, he assures her, “I’ll take care of it, even if I have to cut off his hands.”

“Good.”

~~

Din paces the length of the hull, each thud of his boots making contact with the metal floor blends with the low hum of the engines. Usually he’d ignore the creaks and groans of his home, but the metallic symphony is the only thing capable of drowning out the thoughts in his head urging him to storm the cockpit and retake control from Ahsoka.

“Pacing isn’t going to make us arrive any quicker,” Bo-Katan tells him, not even bothering to open her eyes as she lounges atop one of his storage crates. “Ahsoka said it will be another hour at least.”

He has a retort ready on his tongue when a voice calls out his name from somewhere beyond the Razor Crest.

“Din!”

Din freezes in place as unexpected, heart-wrenching hope slices through his chest. He knows that voice. It’s his favorite in all the galaxy.

“Death?” Bo-Katan asks, concerned by his stillness. “What’s wrong?”

He tentatively reaches out towards the bond, giving it the slightest of tugs. When he feels the distant flicker of a reaction on the other end from his angel he nearly forgets how to breathe.

“The bond,” he murmurs, voice thick with awe and relief. “I can feel it again.”

Longing fills his chest where the hollowness used to reside now that the invisible block separating them is gone. It wraps around his heart, squeezing so tightly he nearly falls to his knees. Din pulls at the bond again on impulse, possessed by the all-consuming need to see her, to have her at his side where she’ll be safe.

The bond protests the harsh treatment, too weak to physically bring them together across the vast distance separating them. He snarls a curse under his breath, hating being helpless to protect her. It’s unfair, he finds himself thinking for a second time. Unfair how it hurts more now being able to feel her presence compared to when he couldn’t at all.

A paper airplane flickers into existence on the horizon of his mind, flying straight into his hand when he reaches out for it. I can’t leave this place. Not yet, the note says. The words themselves are unsettling, but it’s the strength of the emotions she’s attached that has him reeling with shock. For one crazy, electrifying moment he thinks he’s passed onto the afterlife. 

Another note arrives. I miss you, Din. I want to see you so much it hurts. And it’s unbelievable, truly, that he’s found someone who makes him feel as though he’s flying and falling simultaneously. 

As he sends a message of his own, never has he been more certain that if anyone can put an end to the darkness inside of him—it’s her.

~~

“The Moff is an expert when it comes to defensive warding,” Ahsoka says as the three of them stand looking up at a canyon wall that extends in either direction as far as their eyes can see. “But even he can’t hide from my sight.”

Din scuffs at the salt-covered ground with his boot, still coming to terms with the fact all this time Gideon’s been hiding out on Crait of all planets. As much as he wants to believe Ahsoka’s right, his powers can’t detect even the barest hint of the Seraph’s presence.  

Bo-Katan’s eyebrows arch with skepticism. “You’re sure this is the right place? It’s kind of remote.”

“Perfect for building an army,” Ahsoka replies without missing a beat.

Din exchanges a look with his reaper, realizing this is the first time either of them are hearing about this. 

“Gideon has an army?” he asks. “Who—”

“Mercenaries,” she interrupts, turning around to face them. Her blue eyes are distant and cloudy, entranced by a vision. “When I break the warding, all but one will meet the end of their mortal lives attempting to overpower us.”

“All but one? I don’t think so.” Bo-Katan rests her hands deliberately on her blaster pistols. “Anyone who works for Gideon is an enemy in my book.”

“Migs Mayfeld is not to be harmed.” There is steel in Ahsoka’s voice as she blinks back into the present moment.

Din nudges Bo-Katan with his arm when it looks like she wants to continue arguing. The reaper huffs a quiet breath of annoyance, but eventually jerks her head in the tiniest nod of compliance. 

Ahsoka grabs her twin sabers from her belt and ignites their blue blades. She handles her weapons with deadly grace, altering her appearance from peaceful Oracle to fierce and cunning warrior. Turning back to the canyon wall, her gaze trails over the red-brown rocks only to pause and narrow at seemingly random points.

Bo-Katan tries and fails to follow her line of vision. “What are you—”

The Oracle leaps into the air with surprising agility, lashing out with her sabers against the rock. Blinding light bursts forth from the point of collision followed by a flickering glimpse of a gigantic metal door. 

“—looking at,” Bo-Katan finishes quietly, watching Ahsoka swing herself higher to attack another portion of the canyon wall where the next segment of warding is hidden. 

There is something undeniably satisfying about seeing the door materialize as the wardings cloaking it are destroyed. Every precise strike of Ahsoka’s sabers brings Din one step closer to reuniting with his soulmate.

As if spurred by the mere thought of her, fear ripples across the bond like a gust of icy wind, stopping his heart cold. His angel is terrified. Din reaches out as far as the bond will allow in its fragile state, trying to get her attention by pulling at it and shouting her name, but none of his attempts breach the storm of panic. 

“She needs me,” he mutters to himself, stepping forward with clenched fists. His vision narrows until all he can see is the door in front of him, an obstacle that must be dealt with. “She needs my help.”

“Wait,” Bo-Katan calls out, but her voice sounds as if it’s coming from thousands of miles away. “Ahsoka isn’t finished with the warding yet!”

If he were capable of rational thought in that moment, he would have heeded her warning. As it is, he summons his power into the palm of his hand, the darkness inside of him crowing in wicked delight. He winds his arm back, preparing to slam his fist against the door, only for a whipcord to wrap around his wrist with an audible zip. 

He’s pulled backwards onto the ground, breath knocked from his lungs as he lands with a heavy thud. Bo-Katan appears not a second later and pins him in place by straddling his waist. The darkness is demanding he push her aside, knowing with absolute certainty the reaper is no match against him, and it takes all his strength to wrestle the urge under control. 

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” She glares at him, eyes resembling green flames eager to incinerate him.

“I—” he rasps, breathing heavily. His hand starts trembling, a burning itch under his skin. “I can feel her fear. She needs me.”

Bo-Katan blows out a long, frustrated breath. “Well, shit.” She jostles him then, forcing his head to momentarily clear as his helmet smacks the ground. “Look, soulmates are soulmates for a reason, right? I heard it’s like being two halves of the same whole. So if your soulmate is anything like you, she’s not going to give up without a fight. You have to trust she can take care of herself right now. That she’ll be fine.”

Din bristles. Trust is not the issue here. There is no one he trusts more than his angel—not Bo-Katan, not Ahsoka, not even Kuiil. The issue is he’s being asked to deny the instinct to shield her from danger which is woven into every cell of his being.

“She’ll be fine.” The words come out sounding sharp around the edges, cutting his tongue like shrapnel. “Everything will be fine.”

Bo-Katan disconnects the whipcord and rises to full height, apparently satisfied by his agreement. Din pushes himself onto his feet at a slower pace, his hand still shaking as if it's electric. He looks down at it, noticing for the first time the flesh is gone, replaced entirely by shadow. His expression tightens as he observes the change, realizing the black tendrils are slowly creeping up towards his wrist. 

An alarm rings out, reverberating off the canyon walls like an explosion. Din’s gaze snaps up just as Ahsoka lands on the ground in a defensive crouch. Now that it's been fully unveiled, the door bears a striking resemblance to ones he’s seen at military fortresses across the galaxy, ridiculously massive to intimidate enemies and impenetrable from outside attacks. It makes sense, he thinks with a scoff, someone as power-hungry as Gideon claiming an abandoned base as their lair. Without the wardings, Din is able to detect the massive number of souls gathering on the other side, resembling vermin crawling over one another in their haste to arm themselves. 

He searches for his angel’s soul, even just a glimpse of her bright light, only for his powers to instead encounter a massive cloud of dark, negatively-charged energy within a distant corner of the underground tunnel system. It fills an entire room, prohibiting him from sensing if anyone is inside. There is something strangely familiar about the energy, like he’s encountered its essence before, but he can’t recall the specifics of when or where. 

“It’s time.” 

Ahsoka’s voice reels his focus back to his physical surroundings. He notices the way her grip on her sabers tightens in anticipation and out of the corner of his eye Bo-Katan withdraws her blasters from their holsters.

The bottom of the door begins to raise with an earsplitting groan, but the mercenaries only wait the minimum amount of time it takes to pass under without hitting their heads to start charging forward. 

Every mortal has a beginning and an end just like everything else in the galaxy. These mercenaries are no exceptions, having long sealed their fates when they agreed to accept Gideon’s payment. So when Din’s shadowy hand phases through a man’s chest and tears his heart out of its cavity, staining the white salt under their feet crimson as blood bursts from the vacant hole, Din tells himself he’s simply fulfilling destiny. 

He repeats it when he discharges an assault of whistling birds, each one puncturing the throats of each target they encounter with a shrill warcry. And also when he rips a devaronian’s horn out of his head, a fragment of skull and bits of brain matter still gruesomely attached. 

Again and again, with each permanently silenced voice and every shattered fragile bone, destiny is fulfilled. 

~~

Din would be lying if he said he’s never wondered what it would be like to die. To pass on from this world into a new realm for him to explore. He’s imagined the idyllic afterlife mortals have written poems and novels about, describing it as a blissful safe haven where sorrow and tragedy have no definition because they do not exist. He’s familiar with their opinions of damnation’s appearance, too, as an infernal place of fire and brimstone and screaming.

They were wrong about that.

Damnation is not a distant hell. It is found in an underground lair on Crait. 

Instead of flames and sulfur, a Cupid’s blood is split and a soulmate bond is snapped in half. 

Instead of screaming, a madman laughs.

“I’ve waited so long for this moment,” Gideon says through his chuckles, hauling himself onto his feet. His voice is an abrasive rasp, as if he’s shredded his vocal cords by screaming. “I’ve had to be patient, wait to find your weakness so I could catch your attention. It’s a shame, really, she had to be the one you fell for. She was quite the little spitfire.”

Din stares at his soulmate’s motionless body, frozen in place. Please, he pulls at his severed half of the bond, resolutely ignoring how cold it feels. Open your eyes, angel. Don’t leave me. Please.

There is no response. Just heartbreaking silence.

“I sense your anger, your hurt, and grief. Those are mortal emotions.” The Seraph grimaces in disgust, then lets out a low hiss when he agitates the wounds on his face. “By living amongst their kind you’ve forgotten your true potential. You are not their equal, Death. You are their superior. Immortals are meant to be better than them. To rule over every aspect of their pitiful lives.”

“I don’t want to rule anyone,” Din says, dragging his eyes away from his angel to glare at Gideon. Both his hands begin to shake as his mind plunges into a gaping abyss of remorse and despair. “I just want a life with her.”

“Even dead, she continues to blind you.”

Din snarls viciously in response. His control is pushed closer to the brink, holding on by mere fingertips, and darkness engulfs the entire room as a result. 

The glow of the Darksaber persists, reflecting off his beskar and Gideon’s armor. It reminds him of moonlight, and he thinks for all that Bo-Katan warned him about the weapon’s sinful qualities, she did not mention its beauty. Even Ahsoka’s vision had failed to truly capture its radiance, just as a holovid can never compete with a face-to-face conversation. 

His powers are drawn to the Darksaber. The energy it emits matches the one encountered earlier when searching the tunnels for his angel’s aura. This close, there is no ignoring its familiarity, not when his brain feels seconds away from exploding. 

“I used to believe love conquers all,” Gideon prattles on, seemingly oblivious to Din’s torment. “I chose it as the Cupid motto because I thought there was nothing mortals cared more about than the health and happiness of their loved ones. Only after our fateful encounter did the Lightsaber reveal to me the truth.”

Lightsaber? Din’s head jerks up to stare at him, biting back a wince when the throbbing in the back of his mind intensifies at the movement. Does Gideon not realize the weapon has transformed? 

By connecting Ahsoka’s claim that Gideon didn’t fully understand the consequence of corrupting the Lightsaber with Bo-Katan’s explanation that the Darksaber deceives its wielder, the answer is an obvious one: he doesn’t.

Gideon mistakes Din’s confusion for interest and his lips slowly curl into a smile. “Mors aeterna. It means—”

“Death is eternal.” The translation slips unbiddenly from Din’s lips before he even realizes his mouth has opened.

“There is no one more feared or respected than you. But for what reason? What have you done to earn your reputation?” Gideon demands, spit flying as his anger flares. “You are no more than the universe’s favorite puppet. Mindlessly obedient to its every demand.” 

Hearing the truth always hurts, but hearing it from Gideon is especially torturous. Din’s creed to the universe has dictated his actions the entirety of his existence. He never fought against its orders, never thought of his own desires as more important than what it wanted.

Until he matched with his soulmate. She changed his priorities and shifted the center of his entire world by revealing to him even Death could experience love. 

There had been no hesitation when he broke his creed for her.

And he doesn’t hesitate breaking Ahsoka’s promise now.

“I just murdered your soulmate right in front of you and you do nothing. Did you ever love her at all?”

“I do.”

Din summons every trace of power and darkness he possesses and combines them together within his core—a volatile, pulsating mass of pure chaos. His beskar armor starts to crack and chip away, unable to withstand the increasing pressure. 

He thinks of his angel’s smiling face, the sound of her laughter, how bright her soul shines, and he thinks all those things are gone now. Not even a chance to say goodbye.

“More than anything.”

And Death lets go.

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[2-cute-4-school]

Hiraeth II

Group: NCT

Pairing: Lee Donghyuck/Haechan x f!Reader

Genre: angst, idk if you take some parts out of context you might find some fluff

TW: blood, weapons, torture (not an explicit description), suicide attempt(?)

Word count : 9.2K words

Mafia AU  |   M.list

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3- Final 

Chapter summary : “ I still love him and I’ll love Donghyuck until my heart bleeds out of love. But I don’t love and I have never loved the monster who stands before me.”

Y/N’s head throbbed in pain as she tried to pry her eyes open, fighting against the harsh ache overtaking her entire body. She could feel a thin thread of liquid trailing down the side of her face and she had the sickening revelation that it must have been blood. Her blood. She felt as if her entire body was submerged underwater, in some rushing river with ice-cold water that chilled her down to the bones and numbed her limbs. As she cracked an eye open, her vision swarm, spinning in a whirlwind caused by the excruciating pain coming from her temples. A loud ringing resounded in her ears and served to make her even dizzier as she fought to regain her senses.

“I really can’t believe it was so easy. Just a wimpy kid under our sleeve and we took them down.”

The voice was muffled by the high pitched sound she could still hear, but it was enough to remind Y/N of what had brought there. Haechan, how could he? How could he betray the people he claimed more dear to him than his own blood, the ones who never hesitated to put their lives on the line to make sure he would be safe. And her members? She could only pray they escaped their attack and were on their way to her for she needed her guardian angels now more than ever. She needed them to tell her that life could go on, with or without Haechan, that she could go on missing her greater half.

As her senses seemed to come back to her she could faintly tell her surroundings. One thing was sure, she was snugly tied to a chair, bounded by thick ropes that seemed to burn through her skin. But nothing burned harsher than her agonized heart. She was left in nothing but a pair of shorts and a slightly oversized T-shirt, the bruises on her skin a scary purple, littered all over resembling blooming flowers.

Y/N shifted a bit in her chair, trying to get blood to rush through her numb limbs and lifted her head as much as her aching neck allowed. 

“Well look who’s awake, what a wonderful surprise!”

The same voice as earlier exclaimed and her eyes met those of Park Ji-won, cold and mocking as they narrowed over her frame. Y/N could feel her stomach sinking, a cruel realization settling in her mind as she lowered her gaze again and avoided giving him any satisfaction by seeing her so lost and hopeless. She heard the door to her cell being unlocked as Ji-won stepped inside, two bulky men following him closely behind, sporting smirks and a crazed glint in their eyes.

Ji-won approached her and suddenly his mere presence suffocated her, closing her in a bubble where air ran out quickly and her chest felt heavy. Y/N knew she had to stay rational, calm, control her fear and keep a strong facade despite the dread that froze the blood in her veins.

“I apologize for the harsh treatment” he motioned towards the ropes that dug into her skin painfully “but we assumed that in the early stages of your visit here you might want to give us a run for our money.”

“You assumed?” Y/N grinned despite the shakiness of her fingers behind the back of the chair.

“Ah, such a pretty smile. Too bad it will be one of the last times you’ll grace us with it.”

“That’s right, you probably won’t be alive to see the next one.”

Ji-won let out a short chuckle, his eyes shining with an unspoken hatred.

“And who’ll be the lucky one to kill me, if I may ask?”

Y/N pursed her lips, looking away as if deep in thought, racking her head for all the ways her boys could end his poor excuse of a life. She hummed slightly as she turned her eyes back to the older man’s who stared at her with nerve-wracking amusement.

“Hmm, we’ll have to wait and see, they’ll probably have fun making you regret ever messing with us, they’ll make you wish they killed you faster.”

This time he threw his head back with laughter and Y/N had to force her facial muscles to keep her lips in a smile, becoming unnerved with the man’s careless reaction to her entire demeanor. Suddenly, he lifted his hand towards her face, cupping her jaw as if admiring a new doll. Y/N jerked her head away, recoiling from his cold and disgusting touch, but he only tightened his grip, squishing her cheeks between his rough fingers and lifting her face back towards him.

“And who exactly will do that? You who’s tied to a chair with no escape and about to beg for her life? Dear Haechan, who has been lying to you this entire time and brought the end of your little gang? Oh, are you talking about the rest of the members of NCT?”

The thought seemed to amuse him further as he leaned his head, settling beside Y/N’s face and she could feel his breath fanning her earlobe he airily whispered.

“Let me give you a heads-up dear, they’re all dead. Burned down to mere ashes in the wind. There’s absolutely no trace left of them as if they never existed in the first place, an illusion in the darkness of the night.” 

He moved away from her and basked at the thrill of having the precious member of NCT right under his fingertips, playing with her as if she was a puppet. He had waited for so long to break the news to her, to start breaking her inside out, shattering her mind and soul little by little, shredding her hope and stomping on it right before her eyes. 

“No. You’re bluffing. Your dirty tricks won’t get to my head, they won’t work on me so you can shove them up your ass and choke on them.”

Her voice started to rise in volume and her throat restricted her from showing a firm voice as her words wavered at the end, cracking under the pressure of the sky falling atop of her shoulders, draining her soul of any fight left deep inside her, shielding her hope.

“Am I really? Unfortunately, as I said no trace of them is left so I can’t show you the downfall of your world. You’ll have to trust me on this, darling. But I can tell you for sure I enjoyed watching Taeyong lose everything, God, you should have seen the look in his eyes as he finally realized he was doomed, absolutely delightful.”

Y/N wanted to rip Ji-won to shreds. Even just talking about her leader like that ignited her rage and she wanted nothing more but to let it burn, to swallow the man before her up and drag him to the deepest pits of hell. His words couldn’t be true, there was simply no way she would believe them. Taeyong couldn’t be gone. NCT couldn’t be gone. They were her guardian angels, they wouldn’t have left her alone in the Earth version of hell, she couldn’t bear the thought of going on without knowing they’re alive. 

“Already giving up? And here I was, thinking you’ll put up a fight, let us have some fun taming beasts like you.” Y/N gritted her teeth, but she could feel her desire to keep fighting slip away like grains of sand in the wind’s breeze. The only thought that gripped the last strands of her hope was the possibility of Ji-won lying in hopes of making her give up. And in this case, she couldn’t let him win. She wouldn’t allow herself to slip away as long as she had the slightest chance of being back in her boys’ arms, tucked warmly into safety.

“Come closer, let me also give you a heads-up,” Ji-won leaned down slightly, his face at the same level as hers, regarding her with a degrading look, as if sensing her resolve starting to dissipate “if I’m a beast, then you’re just mere pray.” Y/N muttered harshly and spat in his face before his head snapped away. It was her time to smirk as his content expression morphed into one of anger, his composed state shattering, letting rage surface.

Ji-won couldn’t contain the forceful punch he sent to Y/N’s face and neither did he try to. He gathered all of his strength and swung as hard as he could as his fist connected with the soft skin of her cheek with such power that is tipped the chair over, making it collapse. Y/N hissed at the contact with the hard floor of the basement she was held in and heard a sickening pop come from her shoulder before throbbing pain spread through the entire area, making her dizzy. She knew this was barely considered mild and just the beginning of what was about to come her way. She closed her eyes, letting the pain settle and trying to come to terms with the inevitable fate that awaited her.

Y/N could hear Ji-won’s steps as he came closer to her, the tip of his shoe slipping under her cheek and craning her neck to look up at him. She kept her eyes narrowed, regarding the man towering above her with utter disgust to disguise the discomfort she felt in her shoulder mainly. 

“I’m going to say this slowly since it seems like your brain is struggling to acknowledge your situation. You are doomed, little girl. The only one who will wish for death is you, you’ll beg for it in no time. But we won’t allow it, no, you’ll have to suffer, we’ll shred you of any sanity left in you, we’ll break you into millions of pieces both physically and mentally, just wait, The show starts tonight, we’ll have a lot of fun together, Y/N.”

Her name rolled off his tongue with repulsion and his tone assured her that he would religiously keep his promise towards her and somehow it reminded her of Haechan and how the situation seemed so twisted that it made Y/N want to throw up. Her worst enemy just promised her he would rip the little things she still had left away from her, strip her of her humanity and in a sick way Y/N was sure he won’t go back on his words. Haechan promised her Heaven, safety, and love, but all she received were deceiving words and agony. 

With a last forceful nudge of his boot against her cheek, Ji-won turned his back to her and left her cell, the guards locking the door behind themselves. While Ji-won waked away from her sight, most likely back into the house, the two guards stayed unmovingly outside her cell, keeping a careful eye on their prisoner while going back to chatting about their victory.

Finally left alone, to drown into her own thoughts, Y/N suffocated into the nightmare she was forced to fight through. The pain in her body seemed to fade away as her emotions were unraveling from the cage she kept them locked in and the real turmoil surfaced. Johnny promised her they were safe and in turn, she promised Mark she would come back to them. She could only bitterly guess both promises were meant to be broken. Y/N let poisonous tears escape from her tightly closed eyes, in an attempt to lessen the venom nestled inside her soul. Just the thought of never seeing her family again overwhelmed her exhausted heart and sunk it to the bottom of a drained ocean.

And Haechan. He literally broke her in half. A half that hoped everything was just a twisted joke and her soulmate would swoop right in and end her hell and a half that wanted to bring hell to him. Betrayal simply wasn’t a word in their dictionary because who would betray family, the only ones who pulled you up out the frightening darkness that enveloped you when everyone else turned their backs on you. Taeyong was the only one who saw a fighter in them instead of a person too broken to function again and the only one who defied anyone who dragged down his family. So Haechan’s betrayal was almost impossible to swallow and Y/N hoped she wouldn't have to.

Just like that, Y/N was forced to wallow in her own devastating hurt, turning her fate on every side possible as if rolling a dice that had already decided her outcome.

And what a show had been given to her, one that made Y/N want to detach herself from her body and float above the world, far away from the cruelties hidden down in the basement that had her name imprinted on it by now. Every visitor made sure to give her their worst, crack her physic and spirit little by little, piece by piece until she was left as a used doll on the dirty floor, an old toy that was starting to bore their owner. Y/N knew she was disposable, a mere punching bag for the heartless captors, but she didn’t have it in her to care anymore, taking everything with dull eyes and a blank mind.

“Y/N!”

Said girl snapped her head up, meeting Mark’s eyes filled with entire galaxies, crinkles at the corners showing such pure happiness it seemed only characteristic for an innocent child who hadn’t had the time to experience the world’s true merciless nature. Mark started walking towards her hurriedly and the bright smile on his face seemed to darken with every step closer to her until his light strides turned into a full-blown sprint. He seemed to struggle to reach her, but he only got further away the more he frantically called for her, dragged in the opposite direction by an imaginary force that insisted on keeping them apart.

The arm around her only tightened, pinning Y/N to her spot despite the panic-stricken feeling settling in her chest and putting pressure on her airways. Y/N could only look up and drown in Haechan’s warm honey pools which only hauled her further into her daze. His face was so so close to hers and his breath tickled her cheeks as she swirled into the warmth of his embrace, Mark’s shouts fading away in the distance, Y/N’s sole focus remaining on the boy before her, stealing her common sense and leaving her foolishly in love.

“You know how much I love you, right? You know I’d give up the world, trade the sun and all the stars for a second with you, that every breath taken away from you is a breath wasted for me, right?”

Haechan’s other hand, moved gently to reach her face and brushed against the apple of her cheek, letting his thumb run softly over the skin under her eyes as he took her in, absorbing her entire being and bottling her in his heart to stay as his reason to be.

“Y/N!’

This time Mark’s voice was impossibly close, echoing in her ears, shaking her up. Y/N let a shiver run through her entire being at the desperation laced in his voice. She instinctively moved her head to try to catch a glimpse of Mark, whose voice died again, muffled by her own heartbeat. But Haechan’s hand didn’t allow her to take her eyes away from himself as if losing her attention for a moment would shatter him. His smile stayed, warming up Y/N inside out and she was sure the sun was shying away from Haechan’s own bright aura that seemed to dominate over the world. What seemed to slip away was the calmness in his eyes which turned more and more distressed, screaming for more time, for another needed moment with Y/N, his beginning and his end.

“Please Y/N. You have to know.”

As Haechan’s face contorted in anguish, Y/N’s only emotion was confusion. Why didn’t the butterflies in her stomach go crazy anymore at his words? Why didn’t she fear the motive of his raw desperation? Why did she want to reach out and allow herself to be engulfed by Mark’s embrace more than she wanted to stay tucked under Haechan’s arm? Why did her heart hold so tightly onto her love for Haechan when all she wanted was to let go?

A harsh kick to her stomach snapped her eyes open.

“Already giving up, mutt?”

All Y/N wanted was to slip back into herself, allow her mind to run free with the desire to see her friends again, but she knew it wouldn’t be possible as a second kick, even more powerful, was directed at her once again.

“You’re becoming boring. It was fun breaking you, but now you’re as entertaining as any punching bag, maybe even worse. It would be a great pleasure to get rid of you, but the boss won’t allow it, says you don’t deserve to be freed so soon.”

The man whose name Y/N didn’t bother learning crouched beside her, carelessly gripping her arm and lifting her in a sitting position. She slightly lifted her gaze at the sight of a white coat and scanned the boy beside the gorilla who wouldn’t give her any moment of peace ever since she arrived in this hell. He seemed barely older than her, his scrawny structure visible even through his layers of clothing. He asked the other man to move back, and stepped closer to Y/N, uncapping the jar of soothing cream he brought every time.

“You know how it goes, it’s going to hurt a bit but you’ll feel better after.”

Y/N knew, of course, she knew. He had been coming with the same jar every few days, attending to her wounds, occasionally wrapping her up if things looked worse. He never talked more than necessary and Y/N truly appreciated that, becoming used to the captors’ running their mouths 24/7, wasting oxygen with their useless words. As he rubbed his fingers coated in cream over her black and blue abdomen, Y/N caught a glint from the corner of her eyes. A roll of gauze and scissors were hidden in the pocket of his coat, in case of need. Before anyone could catch her stare, she removed it, opting to bore holes into the ground as she let the medic finish his job and leave, but not before the ultimate asshole decided to kick her back down, letting her know that “that’s your place now, kid, get used to it”.

Y/N could only grit her teeth and close her eyes in an attempt to block out the hopelessness crawling under her shirt. She clung with everything in her to her vivid dreams where Mark or some of the other boys ran to her. They never reached her, not even close, but even hearing them brought her a serenity she didn’t know she would be able to find while locked up in a cell, beaten half to death. Haechan clouded her thoughts day and night, sometimes closing up her throat at the thought that she will never get to share such moments with him. She often reprimanded herself, how could she still hang onto Haechan when all he did was betray her and their family, how could she still care about him when the entire world told her everyone else was dead because of him.

“Y/N you stupid, stupid girl.”

She could only murmur under her breath, struggling to keep herself sane as she slipped into another light sleep filled by fruits of hope with the bitter taste of betrayal.

It was dark this time and no matter how hard she tried Y/N couldn’t distinguish anything before her. And the one calling for her was Haechan. He was near, very near, a breath away from her. His voice was hushed, only calling her name repeatedly before a shake of her shoulder forced her eyes open.

“Thank God, you scared the shit out of me.”

Y/N’s eyes snapped up bewildered before they connected with Haechan’s. It took her several moments before she could confirm she wasn’t dreaming and he was actually beside her, towering over her with a gentle hand laid over her shoulder as if he was afraid she’d shatter if he applied any more pressure. Instead of the honey pools that taunted her every time she closed her eyes, Haechan’s eyes were glazed over, hidden behind an invisible veil that kept his emotions at bay as much as it could. 

Y/N let her head drop back down, having no interest in talking to him, especially in her powerless position.

“Y/N, talk to me, I need to know you’re still there.”

“What do you want me to say, Haechan?”

Her voice was hoarse from days of not talking, the only sounds coming out of her mouth being whimpers and occasional screams when the men got rougher with their treatment during their bad days. Y/N spat the name she rarely used for him except during their missions with such venom laced in the word that Haechan was still taken aback despite his already low expectations.

“I just..I need to hear you. I want to explain everything when I’ll have enough time. I need to-”

“Is it true?”

“What?”

“What they keep telling me, that they’re dead.” She didn’t need to elaborate for Haechan to understand what she was referring to.

“Y/N, you have to understand-”

“I’m done with your half-assed bullshit, tell me the truth for once.”

Her words only served to twist the dagger deeper into Haechan’s bleeding wound and he knew he deserved it and plenty more.

“Yes. It’s true, they’re all gone. But Y/N please listen to me, I didn’t do it just because I wanted to, I would never, I swear. You have to believe me, please Y/N.”

He glanced at her, but the sight of her scared him even worse. He saw her at both her best and her worst, attached to the hip every moment of their lives, but never had he seen her like that, so disconnected from everything around her, so lost in her own thoughts.

“Haechan, the five minutes are ending!”

“I’ll be right out!”

Haechan shakily lifted his hand from her shoulder to her head, brushing away strands of her hair from her face and lightly cupping the back of her head with such care that even the moon would stop in awe to admire the heartbreaking moment before two broken lovers cursed to suffer away from each other.

“Love, please don’t give up, as selfish as it sounds. I need you.”

With a quick brush of his plush lips to her temple, a promise that Y/N could only deem empty, he lifted himself up and rushed out of her cell while he could still control his burning desire of keeping her close now more than ever. His eyes followed her until he couldn’t see her anymore and sighed dejectedly when she stayed rotten to her spot, her eyes void of any trace of the old Y/N, the one he doomed to more pain than he believed anyone could carry. But if he was sure of one thing, he could swear that the pain in his chest would be enough to snap the mountains apart and drain any sea as he was forced to leave the core of his soul behind once more.

Time seemed to pass slower than ever and Y/N could only mull with a bittersweet aftertaste of nostalgia the rare free days she used to spend with her boys back at their headquarter, the way she used to complain about the members’ habits. Oh how bad she missed those times and how she wished she could go back to Taeyong’s arms cuddling her against his chest, playing with strands of her hair or Johnny’s manner in which he threw her over his shoulder and paraded around the house, mocking her shouts in a high pitched voice, but with an affectionate twinkle in his eyes. Her chest ached with the burning desire of spending countless nights in Mark’s room, exchanging lyrics ideas and listening to the soothing hum of his guitar towards the early hours of the morning.

And God, the way she missed Haechan’s childish pouts that never failed to melt her heart and the way he used to nuzzle his nose against the crook of her neck, the feathery brush of his lips along the length of her throat as the fluffy locks on top of his head tickled her cheek every time he moved in their embrace.

All these seemed like long lost memories, buried at the back of her mind, fogged over by her pain. Over time, Y/N learned the pattern of the changes the guards outside made, she learned that the presence of a flashlight in their hand meant it was nighttime, she learned that they deemed her weak enough to leave her with only one bored guard who more often than not didn’t even glance in her direction as he leaned his back against the bars and went on with his life.

Y/N was pulled out of her thoughts by the medic who unlocked her cell, once again coming to check up on her. This time he was alone, the guard outside only watching him enter before returning to his business. The young man approached her, crouching down at her level and studying her.

“How are you feeling?”

She wanted to scoff at his ridiculous question. It didn’t take a genius to take a right guess just by looking at her for a brief moment. But she bit her lip, murmuring her next words.

“My wrists hurt” she made a small pause, contemplating over the weight of her words “worse than usual.”

The medic watched carefully and helped her in a standing position. He hesitated a bit before slowly untying her hands, the sole rope binding her.

“Don’t make any dumb moves or you’ll regret it. I’ll put some ointment on the rope burns, it should alleviate the pain enough to be bearable.”

With the rope gone, he brought her hands in front of her, holding her wrists gently, before spreading the cream over the irritated skin with such care that his fingertips merely brushed against her. It was the first time in weeks since anyone has treated her so delicately and she let the thought bring tears to her eyes.

“What’s your name?”

The medic’s head snapped up and his eyes widened, taken aback by her questions. He had visited her so many times, but she never seemed interested in him, shrinking back in herself every time he came close.

“Why are you asking?”

“Am I not allowed?”

He turned his attention back to her wounds that he was sure were nothing in comparison to the real damage brought on her body, but he stayed quiet and continued treating her. Y/N thought he was going to ignore her question and deflated slightly. This didn’t seem to go her way.

“It’s Minho.”

Y/N’s eyes studied him. He didn’t seem to notice her stare or just didn’t bother to look up at her.

“Minho,” he hummed, finally meeting her teary eyes, desperation creeping in her glazed over orbs “please help me.”

He sighed, knowing what kind of help she meant. He pitied her, but not enough to put himself in danger in order to help a girl he barely knew and had no future anyway.

“Y/N, it would be better if you stopped fighting, they would be more lenient with you-” Y/N shut out his words, and clenched her fists before launching herself at him, gripping the collar of his white coat, knocking him over with a loud metallic clang coming fro his medical equipment falling over.

“Please! Please, help me! Please!”

She shook him, the distressed look in her eyes shocking him for a moment.

“Hey! Sit back, bitch!” The guards slammed the door of her cell open, his angered yell echoing around the cold walls as he stomped over to them with large, angry strides.

Y/N was quick to clamber off Minho, stumbling a bit and stabilizing herself with a hand against the ground. She let herself fall back on her butt, curling herself up in a small ball to protect herself from the guard’s harsh punches that started to rain down on her, leaving sore spots scattered over her body and Y/N was sure purple bruises would adorn her body soon. She let fat tears run down her face and her body trembled with heart-wrenching sobs that were almost inaudible over the guard’s curses directed towards her. She had to keep it up.

“Stop, stop, she’s not worth it.”

Minho stretched a hand and gripped he guard’s shoulder after rising to his feet and dusting himself off. The guard turned around, arguing with Minho, insisting that he should break all of her fingers, one by one, to show her that ‘scum like her shouldn’t even be allowed to look at them, much less to dare to touch them’. Y/N could barely fight the victorious smirk that wanted to stretch her lips and took the opportunity to sneak the scissors she had gripped when she ‘stabilized’ herself inside her bands and slip them inside the elastic band of her underwear, before returning her hand over her head to seemingly shield herself.

“Leave her alone, she’s not worth it.”

“We should still teach mutts like her a lesson.” the guard growled, shooting her a disgusted glare.

“You shouldn’t waste time with her, even dogs are smarter than her, she won’t learn anything.”

The guard chuckled darkly, spitting at Y/N, missing her by a centimeter.

“You’re wrong. You’re insulting dogs by comparing her to them. She’s less than the shit on the sole of your shoes, she’s really not worth anything.”

Y/N wanted to laugh at them, spit back and crush their heads under her foot, show them the real scum, but she was smarter than that. Patience was her only friend at that moment and hand-in-hand with it she would conquer her newfound purpose.

The guard roughly gripped her wrists, a sharp contrast to Minho’s gentle touch from earlier, and forcefully brought them to her back, tying them with the rope, tightening it even more than before and smiled at the sound of Y/N’s pitiful wince of discomfort, a sadistic amusement twisting his features at the sight of her pain.

“You shouldn’t come anymore, you’re wasting useful resources to treat her.”

The guard rose again to his full height, delivered a last powerful kick just to startle the girl to his entertainment and tuned around, directing his words to Minho who only watched with a passive expression, seemingly bored by the events as he gathered everything that had fallen over earlier.

“Right.” He hummed and he caught Y/N’s eyes in a quick glance before hurrying after the guard and leaving her sight as the guard stayed behind to lock her up and plopped himself down, turning his back to her and whistling unbothered. He took out a cigarette and a lighter, lighting up one end of the stick and putting the other one between his lips, taking a long drag and releasing a large cloud of foul smelling smoke.

But Y/N mulled over Minho’s look. His eyes were slightly narrowed, as if searching her, trying to penetrate through her act. Had she seemed too desperate for him to believe her? But she didn’t feel like she exaggerated, it was nothing a prisoner wouldn’t beg for once meeting a kind enough person. Had he noticed the small pair of scissors that disappeared? But he had so many and the one she stole was smaller than her palm and she had never seen him use it. Y/n could only pray the facade she put up and the show she conveyed to strengthen it was enough to buy her time to make her final move.

Despite her worries and the pain and numbness overcoming her tired body, Y/N let a twisted smile creep on her face as she leaned her head back against the wall. Her eyes stared unfocused in the darkness, finally feeling accomplished with herself in a long time. Maybe her acting skills weren’t so rusty after all. So many fake tears and meaningless words thrown around almost choked her up, but she did what had do be done in order to prove herself that their work along the years wasn’t in vain, that she wouldn’t let NCT go down without a fight, vanish without a trace before they burnt down the world around them. Sure, the fact that most of the people surrounding her during her stay in the cell had smaller brains than a pigeon’s and their common sense was worse than that of a headless chicken, but these only made things easier for her.

Y/N was done. She was done with her filthy cell, done with the assholes who kept on talking down to her as if they were meant for anything more than dumb guard dogs, done with the sickening mind games they thought would break her. But more than anything, Y/N was done with letting anyone, Haechan or not, betray her family and get away with it. 

If that disgusting man got anything right in his entire life, it was that Y/N had no future. Her life had ended at the same time NCT vanished. She had nowhere to go, no one on her side and for the second time in her life, she was alone. She was left alone, a lost soul trudging tiredly through the dark columns of her life, admitting that this time it was truly over for her. While when she was a little girl a guardian angel found her and took her under his wing, introducing himself as Taeyong and welcoming her in their self-made family, this time no one was coming. And frankly, she made peace with the idea, reuniting with her boys after a long, painful fight that finally exhausted her. Y/N was ready to give up, she had no means to escape or to go on living in a world where they were gone. It simply made no sense to her.

She only had to wait for the next night to make things right, to honor Taeyong’s golden rule. ‘Traitors are less than rats. They have no place on Earth.’ And Y/N swore to make sure to fulfill his words or die trying. She swore to ruin Haechan in any way possible, to watch the light fade from his eyes as desperation clouded his features, before crumbling herself in Taeyong’s protective embrace. She would bring the ones who dared to harm her family their very much deserved end, serve it to them on a plate and shove it down their throats with no mercy, let them slowly choke with it as she watched them fade away with eyes that regained their sparkle for one last time before joining her awaiting family.

That night, all Y/N could dream about were the bright smiles on her members’ faces that put the sun itself to shame and warmed up her soul every time she could catch a glimpse of them. All she could feel was the comforting warmth radiating off their bodies and enveloping her and their sparkling eyes with countless galaxies that reflected happiness so pure that angels swooned over the serenity that seeped through them.

All Y/N could believe in was their endless love that held no barriers.

Hours of waiting chopped at Y/N’s sanity little by little as she had to swallow down the adrenaline pumping through her body. The pain in her body felt like a mere memory, only stirring her lack of patience even more. The moment her eyes caught sight of the new guard lowering himself beside her cell, sticking a flashlight in his pants pocket, her blood started pumping with excitement. She felt as if she was about to burn up, explode in huge flames impossible to hold back from swallowing down the entire world.

Y/N spent the time in which the man kept shuffling around to edge out the pair of scissors from her pants and twirl it around her fingers, etching it into the rope and slowly but surely cutting the rough material. She kept her movements minimal and as silent as possible, making sure that her plan wouldn’t be stopped so early on. She couldn’t allow that. Y/N only had one chance and she made sure she didn’t need any more.

Despite the madness running through her veins, poisoning her blood, her mind was completely clear, no fog clouding it over. Her eyes were sharper than ever, focusing solely on her goal, pushing her feelings aside for the time being. The rope came off, slowly slipping off her sore wrists, but she made no movement to change from her position on the ground, waiting for any sign that the guard might have heard anything out of the ordinary, but he was as oblivious as ever, a mindless pig confined in a slaughterhouse.

As Y/N started crawling towards the bars that kept her locked for weeks that dragged on, her body resembled that of a cat. No sounds came from the impact of her hands and knees with the ground and her torso was fluid, balancing her movements. Years of training paid off more than ever as she inched closer and closer to her freedom with her savior clutched tight between her fingers, some mere scissors, smaller than her hand and so frail she was afraid that they would break under the pressure of her grip. But they were enough, sharp just like her mind, sharp enough to easily go through rope and skin, small enough to wedge between the thick bars and maneuver them with no difficulty. And that was more than enough for Y/N.

She was a breath away, close enough to feel the smell of sweat rolling off his body. Y/N stayed as still as a statue. Was she hesitating? No, she felt no desire to turn back, none at all, but she needed a moment to calm herself down, regulate her temper before hell could break loose and her hidden demons could surface and swallow up any mercy left in herself. Her hand slightly trembled as she leaned closer to the man with a slight smile. She blew a feathery breath on the man’s neck, teasing him as a starting point of insanity that followed and before he could turn around, she clamped a hand over his mouth, muffling the chocked gasp escaping his chapped lips and plunged the scissors in his neck, right in his artery. It didn’t take long before he slumped against the bars, taking a ragged last breath and going limp as crimson liquid painted his skin and clothes. trailing to the ground.

Y/N released him before rummaging through all of his pockets and found the key to her prison. She was still trembling slightly as she unlocked the door to her newfound freedom on unsteady feet. Once stepping outside, Y/N felt a sudden surge of power, she felt unstoppable now that she wasn’t confined like a caged bird, longing for her wings to be freed. She stared at the dead guard on the floor as she shook her feet, trying to regain feeling in her legs faster. He was the first, the beginning of the end.

Y/N crouched beside him, looting everything she deemed useful. The handgun she knew all guards kept in their belt was the first thing that settled almost comfortably in her palm, along with the beloved scissors that she wiped on the man’s shirt before she tucked them in the pocket of her pants. But she knew he had another necessary thing on him. She calculated every move and there was no way she had mistaken the man. And as thought, she didn’t. She quickly found a pack of cigarettes buried inside the pocket of his jacket along with a lighter. Bingo! She also slipped the lighter in her pocket and mockingly patted the man’s head with a pout. She wasn’t kidding when she said she would burn down their entire world.

“Aw, thank you, you should be proud of yourself for being useful for once.”

Her words were acid, whispered to ridicule the almost too easy way she escaped what he must have thought would be her future grave. Jokes on him.

Her eyes burned through the darkness that awaited her. She couldn’t risk using a flashlight, it would give away her location too easily, but she didn’t really need it either. She had been kept in the dark for so long, both literally and figuratively, that she had gotten used to it, her eyes adjusting naturally to the lack of light. She roughly knew that the sleeping rooms must have been upstairs from the two guards’ conversation she had heard once, so she had two flights of stairs to go through, from the basement to the main floor and then upstairs. And then the fun was about to begin.

She gripped the handle of the gun tighter, her bare feet soundlessly gliding on the floor as her inner turmoil only edged her more towards the free fall that she knew was inevitable. She was ready to embrace it, leave herself float weightlessly over the clouds and allow the gentle rays of sunshine caress her tired soul as a mother would soothe her child after reuniting after a long day, but not before meeting Haechan. Not before giving him a piece of her suffering and watching him struggle to his end with it as Y/N merely watched her once lover vanish to nothing just like he forced her to.

She wanted nothing more but to free herself from the agony Haechan impelled on her and then dared to ask her to hold on for him. He was a gone man in her eyes, a flat lifeline, the furthest thing from how she used to deem him, a lighthouse that guided her through the frightening darkness of herself, holding her hand through everything and enveloping her in sweet murmurs of honey-like voice that she couldn’t help but grasp onto with every ounce of her being. Haechan was her first and last, her end and her beginning, her rebirth and her doom.

“Wait for me, Haechan, wait for me, my love.”

The scenario she found herself in was oddly familiar, resembling the one hours before her universe was turned upside down unexpectedly and cruelly. The same tension that pressured her airways was present, but this time Y/N wasn’t bothered by it, her hands weren’t sweating and her vision wasn’t unfocused. She had nothing left to lose so she trudged forward almost blindly, guided by luck and helped by her sneaking skills and common sense.

The house was mostly dark, asleep in the late-night hours. The only agitation came from the large living room on the main floor. As Y/N passed by with hurried steps but vigilant eyes, she saw a fading light from underneath the closed door, accompanied by obnoxious, deep laughter coming from a few men playing poker and throwing around chips and dirty jokes.

Once she found the stairs and climbed up, she knew the hard part was coming. Haechan was behind one of the doors for sure, but she had no way to be certain about a particular one. She observed all of the doors as she passed by them. She could hear snoring from behind a couple of them, others were entirely silent. Y/N knew she only had one chance and even barely that. If she was in her right mind, she would have never taken such a risk, but now the only thing on her mind was finishing what Haechan began. And Y/N hated leaving things unfinished.

Y/N gritted her teeth as she glued her back to a wall and held her breath in hopes of hearing even the slightest hint to begin with. She knew this would be the hardest challenge of her plan, but if it meant that she would find him, she was about to go to extreme lengths. Y/N rules out the room with snoring occupants, Haechan never snored. But there were still three other rooms. She couldn’t stand in the hallway forever, in plain sight for anyone who decided to leave their room. A decision had to be made, right then and there, otherwise-

“For fuck’s sake..”

The curse was hushed, barely heard, but Y/N could recognize that voice anywhere, at any time of the day. She found him.

She walked closer to the last door on the hallway, lingering her fingertips over the doorknob as she gripped her gun tighter in her other hand. She has been waiting for that moment for such a long time that now it felt unreal, but maybe for different reasons. She noticed a faint hue of white light coming from under the door and then the muffled sound of fingers drumming lightly in a table. At that moment, Y/n remembered Haechan’s habit when listening to music, something that she found both annoying and endearing, the sound his knuckled made rhythmically against the first surface he found. And since no music could be heard, he had his earphones in. Just her luck.

She slowly twisted the doorknob, finding it unlocked as expected from the same boy that never locked any doors after him and this was the first time Y/N wanted to congratulate him for it. She admired him from the back for a second, clad in his sleepwear and lounging on a chair while furiously typing on his computer with music blasting in his ears. What a comfortable life he led while she was drained physically and mentally in a cell smaller than a storage room, oh how lovely.

Y/N smiled sweetly and raised the gun, aiming straight at his head as she locked the door behind her with a soft ‘click’. Her free fingers then found the switch and with excitement running high in her blood, she turned the light on. She smiled even brighter, her gun following Haechan’s frenetic movements as he ripped his earphones out and turned around in his chair in a flash, coming face to face with his former lover, the one he coincidentally betrayed.

“How the hell? How...”

His voice wandered off, reality kicking in.Y/N’s heart started beating faster, but not from fear or resentment for aiming her gun at who she once deemed her missing piece, no. It trembled with an anger she had never felt before, one she tried so hard to control she worried it would leak over and ruin the scenario she dreamed of every night behind those bars.

“Surprised to see me, dear? I had to go such a long way just to find you, Haechannie.” Y/N pouted mockingly at him, enjoying the way his eyes widened in horror, but also a shocking drop of relief. He immediately stood up from his chair, taking rushed strides towards Y/N, before she tutted and put an open palm in front of her, mentioning for him to stop in his tracks.

“Not so fast, now. No need to rush after weeks of waiting, am I right?” Her voice was charming as if talking to a child, but Haechan knew the sugary surface could barely contain the storm beneath.

“Y/N, let’s talk-” He tried to take a step forward, but before he could fully move, YN’s gun made a clear clicking noise, indicating that the safety was taken off. Haechan started to sweat lightly, noticing how the finger laid over the trigger didn’t shake in the slightest.

“I’m glad we agree on that, but we’re doing it on my terms. You don’t move from the spot you’re in and you’ll put your hands up where I can see them at all times. None of these are negotiable, love.”

Haechan felt utter desperation crawl deep in his soul, taking over his entire being as he did as asked. He wanted nothing more but to touch her, feel her warm skin, her chest rising with every breath. He wanted nothing but to win her back and complete the puzzle inside him that broke the moment the back of his gun touched her temple so forcefully back at the party.

“Please, Y/N, let me explain, I would never do this on my own and no matter how hurt you are, you must know that.”

“Get to the point.”

A heavy sigh left his lips, his eyes searching hers in despair only to get blocked by a thick wall she built around herself, making her eyes so cold they could freeze over an entire ocean.

“Remember that time you were knocked out on the rooftop? On that mission we prepared for an entire month when you were caught last minute. I told you that I saved you. I lied. I was caught too, before you. They manipulated me, Y/N, they pushed a gun against your head and made me choose. To kill you or work undercover for them. What was I supposed to do? Tell them to just shoot you?”

“So you chose to betray your entire family and get us all killed?”

“I didn’t know it would get to this! Even when I was given my final mission by them, they swore not to kill you.”

“And they didn’t. They tortured me instead, stripped me of my humanity and my will to continue living. I should thank you, right?”

“All I did was to try to protect you!”

“And that worked out really well, didn’t it?”

It was so hard to keep their voices hushed enough when both of them were near their breaking point, emotions high and spilling over the edge, burning in their veins and darkening their eyes. Haechan’s presence and voice still stirred something in Y/N no one else could and she hated herself for allowing him to still hold her feelings in his palm and play with them however he desired.

“Y/N, I couldn’t sit there and tell them to shoot you. All I could think was that if they killed you, I would have been over. Everything would have been over, for me and for you. It would have been the end.”

“So you put us before everyone else.”

“Yes, Y/N, I fucking put you first, and I would do it all over again if it means you’ll get to live. You are my goddamn everything and I will be damned before I let you get taken away from me.”

“Then you are damned, Haechan.”She made a small pause as if recollecting her hazy thoughts “You lost me the moment you signed their deaths.” Both of them understood who she was referring to.

His eyes lost focus for a moment, his lips parted in astonishment. He had to make her understand. Now that she was standing a mere meter away from him he couldn’t let her slip from his fingers a second time. It wasn’t an option he could accept.

“Y/N, you don’t get it. It would have been hell, for me and for the guys too for sure. I couldn’t have lived knowing that I watched you die before my eyes helplessly, that my world shattered before my eyes and I watched the shards pierce my heart out while out story just began. Dying means nothing to me compared to losing you.”

And at that moment something clicked inside Y/N’s brain. She believed Haechan at that moment, she believed that the knowledge of her being alive meant more to him than his own steady breathing. She believed Haehcan when he said that he would walk through a burning hell and wilt slowly every day without his own oxygen. She believed Haechan.

And that’s why she switched the aim of her gun from Haechan’s forehead to her own, pressing the cold barrel to her temple, right where a former bruise from his own hit had faded a while ago.

Y/N had to admit, in all the years she’s known Haechan, she had never seen such agony twist his face. His eyes had never been darker and more fueled by such raw desperation that it almost made her tremble. The pain in his features could make mountains bow their peaks and poke through Haechan’s heart to feel it bleed tears. He could barely keep himself from reaching forward and aggressively snatch the weapon away from his love, scold her into next week from ever considering bringing it so close to her face.

“Y/N no, anything but that. Please, stop this, you’ve come so far, I’ll help you escape, I’ll run away with you, we’ll start over, just please. Please not this.”

He was almost sobbing, breathless from the waves crashing down on him, drowning him in regret and hopelessness. 

“I don’t want any of that, Haechan. You lost me when you betrayed us and I lost myself when I lost you.”

“You didn’t lose me, you’ll never lose me.”

“Not only you, Haechan. Maybe you were the biggest piece of my heart, but the rest were pieces too. And too many of them are missing to still be considered a heart.”

He couldn’t lose the fight, he couldn’t back off, but he could see just how much he had hurt her. He wanted only the best, but he could only watch as Y/N withered away and he was left scrambling around, trying to gather the fragments of a broken soul.

“You can’t do this to me. You promised me that night that you’ll always love me no matter what. You promised, Y/N! You promised!”

His voice cracked under the pressure of losing her. He couldn’t grasp the concept of this being the last time he sees her eyes, the two galaxies that brought him such euphoria whenever he caught a glimpse of them. He couldn’t accept letting her go after everything, watching his own sun pale before him and go out, leaving no trace behind her for Haechan to hold onto.

“I did promise and I still love Donghyuck. I still love the Hyckie who fake cried with me the first time I had to get stitches, who danced with me at midnight after I had to kill someone to survive just to calm me down, who held the world in his palm but still smiled like a kid. I still love him and I’ll love Donghyuck until my heart bleeds out of love. But I don’t love and I have never loved the monster who stands before me.”

He couldn’t hold it anymore. He felt himself burst with ripples of despair as rivers of tears carved their way into his skin, burning through the cracks and surfacing the real him, the one who was forcefully thrown aside and crumpled. His soul seared through the breaches and begged for anything, for another chance, for another life, for his lover.

Y/N felt a single tear slip down her face too, a lone drop that encased her suffering, the loss of her family, her soulmate and herself, a regretful goodbye that echoed through their bodies painfully.

“Y/N please, please, anything, I’ll do anything., just please...”

His words got lost in between his sobs as he could barely hold himself from falling apart. He couldn’t do it, not anymore.

Shuffling could be heard from the other side of the door, hurried steps and even voices. They were loud, but neither Y/N nor Haechan seemed to care about them too much, imprisoned in their last shared moment, a silent confession tying the two of them. But Y/N knew she had to hurry. She had never backed down and this wasn’t the moment to.

“Haechan,” He was already gazing at her, eyes swimming in tears made of piercing stardust and broken bonds, “tell Donghyuck I’ll always love him.”

He shattered. He snapped apart as she closed her eyes and he couldn’t contain his movements as he jerked forward in a desperate attempt to protect her one last time, now from herself.

But he was a moment too late as two loud bangs shook the entire room and deafening silence followed.

[kryptsune]

I have a Confession... {Red X Frisk Drabble}

FRANS WEEK 2020 // Day 1: Confession

>>Day 2

@fransweek

🌼So a little bit about this. I am planning on doing Frans week this year that said I also don’t want to stress myself out. I have a sketch that I am working on that combines a few of the prompts but I still wanted to do something for day one so here is Underworld Red and Frisk after her run. Frans is so important to me so it is nice to post this kind of content again. 

If you are currently reading Underworld there are a couple of spoilers within this that have yet to show up in the fic. I actually have decided to write this out instead because I am currently editing and getting feedback on the latest chapter which I plan to get up today at some point. If not it is going to be tomorrow. This scene is not canon to Underworld btw angst ahead.

===========================

She had yanked her hand away yelling only for him to become a little overly aggressive. It had slipped her mind as she shook from his actions. His boney almost claw-like fingers dug into her skin causing a blossom of blood to form and trickle down her arm. He had released her when he didn’t realize his own strength but it was too late.

 Her ears rang with his shouts as she ran clutching her arm. Her legs brought her to the only place she found solace. A small little place in Waterfall. She collapsed next to the glowing blue stream shivering as if the very ground she now rested was but ice. When she looked down at her arm, the wound was nowhere to be seen. 

That only meant that her mind had started to decay and old horrors were spilling out. Did he even grab her? Her eyes filled with tears as she placed her shaking hand against her lips. What was real? What was fake? She knew that he loved her but this. She was sure she looked at him with horror swimming in those cobalt depths. The fear was undeniable and he had done nothing to deserve it. How could you ever love someone that saw the shadow of your former self-overlaid over the present? Was she a hypocrite? She told him that she forgave him and yet her mind was wrought with rot. It’s decay slowly creeping deeper and deeper into her mind. The ghosts of the past haunted her even to the extreme of physical sensation. What were you supposed to trust? 

She closed her eyes leaning forward in defeat. Her age was in its prime. A young woman with so much life to live and yet this disease had slowly consumed her sanity and with age, it would only devour what was left of the present. She couldn’t put him through that. It would break her heart. She didn’t deserve him not after that. At that moment her heart began to break. She loved him so much that his happiness went beyond her selfishness. He was better off finding a monster to be with than her. She would get old, her condition would become worse, and he would be tied to a human with such a short life in comparison to his own. It was the way it truly had to be. No amount of apology could ever fix what she had just done even if it was not in her proper state of mind.

She just sat there staring blankly into the water only to hear a small noise off to the side. It was him. It was near impossible for her to truly be alone when he was able to track her down so easily. Even when he approached she refused to raise her head to look at him, “I’m sorry…” She nearly choked on her next set of words as they passed her wavering lips, “We can’t be together. I…. I can barely control myself any longer. All I see is the worst part of you when…” 

The tears began to form as she tried to stop herself, “I know there is so much I love. I…I don’t even deserve you. I want to love you and keep you close to me but I fear I am losing my mind. I see things past and.“ She was cut off as she screwed her eyes shut only whimpering a few chosen words, "I’m so sorry I yelled…. That I ran… I don’t know what is wrong with me anymore.”

Physical ailments could be treated with simple medication or rest but the mind is a complex beast. Just as it’s physical appearance depicts it is a maze that one could be trapped in for all eternity with no hope of escape. She was shaking and nearly on the cliff of a panic attack. What would he say? 

 All she felt was gentle arms wrapping around her from behind cradling her in that warm embrace. How could he even look at her let alone touch her? All she could hear was that soft twinkle of chimes that made Waterfall so unique. He loved her, cared for her, and comforted her. He was her best friend and now someone she couldn’t imagine being without. His silence only led to soft gestures like the wiping of tears, a soft squeeze, and a small smile. He didn’t need words to tell her how he felt. When the silence finally broke she was staring up into those red eyes. One that used to frighten her but now drew her in with that brilliant ruby hue.

He knew what it was like to lose your mind as his father had made sure of it. The monster he once was and the one she had met were like doppelgangers and though those traits from his past had returned he still struggled with the one thing that stained his very being. The very thing that had nearly torn half the Underworld apart with its aggression and madness. To see her go through the same pains hurt his soul. 

He had learned to control his and yet hers only seemed to become worse. He feared one day she would harm herself due to some demon that crept into her mind. Take that pain away... that was all that he wanted for her. Even her outbursts could never change how much he loved her. Even if she tried to pull away he would always pull her back. He had done this to her and so he deserved what he was getting.

 He only threaded his fingers through her hair gently combing through the auburn strands, “Why would ya ever think I’d be mad at ya?” He had been working tirelessly for weeks trying to improve her mental condition and yet no amount of magic could fix her wounds, “Ya don’t deserve me? Sweetheart, ya got it backward. I did this ta ya and I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all back er’… erase all tha bad but I can’t. You could yell at me fer tha rest of yer life… I will never leave ya.”

 He just held her praying to someone, anyone that one day those demons would be purged from her mind even if that meant he had to be out of the equation. She deserved better and though he loved her with his every breath he could not deny that he was only causing her more pain. He could feel her small frame shuddering as she sobbed, “Shhhh I gotcha.”

It was ironic considering the place she had chosen to escape to. It was a special place for both of them. It did not look like much but this was the place where his once cold and ruthless soul had been soothed. No amount of words or magic could do what her warm smile had or just that sparkle of hope and love in her eyes. It was the moment he realized he had been horribly wrong about the seemingly fragile human girl sitting beside him and how much of the term monster he had become.

 A truly awful horrible demon of a skeleton that didn’t deserve her angelic mercy. He had a difficult time living with his past actions drowning in a regret that not even time could cure. He remembered finding her trying to hold back tears as she wrapped her pale arms around herself. Seeing his handiwork in full display only for her to panic at his snooping. She explained that though time appeared broken for her that did not mean there were no consequences to such a thing. She called it a curse and rightfully so. Even as they sat in silence he could feel his thoughts shifting.

 That was the moment that changed everything. That was truly the moment that he realized just how special she was and how important she was to him specifically. He nearly cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. It was the same exact spot. The only difference was that he had no hesitation in his comforting of her. He wanted her to know that no matter what he would always be there no matter what she did because deep down a little of her hope had made its way into him. He would save her just like she had saved him all those years ago. She deserved happiness and he knew that for her that included him just as much. She had said so herself.

He closed his sockets just resting his mouth on the crown of her head before slowly raising it to speak clearly, “Ya saved everyone Sweetheart… now let me save you, alright?”

 He continued to hold her like the little fragile thing she was letting her feel that warmth and comfort. That loving embrace that would never leave her. She looked up at him now calmed by the soft words and warm cradle of his arms. It was a simple word one that might make another laugh at its absurdity, “Red…” 

Ah yes, the nickname. The very one that had been a joke in the past. A failed attempt at a kind of quip for his use of so many pet names for her. There was one that stood out among the rest, sweetheart. There was nothing as fitting as that one simple word for her. She had made a point about mocking his fashion sense and his unfortunate eye color saying that he should be nicknamed after the color he seemed to be drowned in but it was his.

 A name that proved that though he had become something he hardly recognized that was the person she had grown fond of and could call a friend. It was special even if to the untrained eye it would appear rather bland or foolish. When that word slipped past her lips his soul would thump in his chest skipping the nonexistent beat that filled what a heart would do.

 He stared into those blue eyes that were filled with so much love for him something he never thought he would ever deserve. No, no one could say that name like she could. She didn’t need to speak anymore he just swept her off her feet so they could once again return home. He would keep hope for a brighter future and one day all those grey clouds would give way to the most beautiful blue sky.

 She had already cleared away the storm for him now it was his turn to show her the true beauty of a night sky unhindered by a single cloud. A peace, love, and happiness unmatched and unequal to anything on this planet or under it.

💙Ways to Support💙:

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——————————————

Thank you, everyone, for your continuous love and support. It truly means so much to me.

[urlocalkpoptrash]

20 minutes before the next performance, and you were pressed against Hoseok’s dressing room door. This wasn’t where you expected to be, and probably why his manager hated when you came backstage. Hoseok could never seem to keep his hands off of you.

Your fingers desperately gripped at the Dior harness that was fastened around his chest, while his fingers had curled upwards, pulsing in and out of you like his life depended on it. “Holy fuck,” you tossed your head back, leaning it against the door. “Hmm. I should wear this more often. I can’t remember the last time your were this wet.”

You unlatched one of your fingers from the harness, dropping it down to the double D belt that hung off his waist. It was with quick and nimble fingers that you had his pants undone in seconds. On any other oaccasion, you would have taken your time to worship his cock, like you knew he loved, but now wasn’t the time.

His head dipped down to watch your hand disappear into his pants. The moment your hand wrapped around his growing erection, his fingers stopped their onslaught of pleasure on you. You had a way of making him forget how to breathe. You didn’t move your hand once it was wrapped around his shaft, you wanted to hear him ask for it.

As if he was reading your mind, he leaned his forehead against yours, his chest visibly having more difficulty to keep his breathing from become erratic. “Y/N,” he panted, his jaw slacked, “Move your hand please, I need it. I need yo— Ah!” His body julted at the quick stroke of your hand. You could feel the veins swelling against your hand, throbbing for more of your touch.

“As much as I love feeling you squirm from my touch, I’d much rather have you inside of me,” you brushed your nose over his, “What do you say, baby? Are you going to be able to make me cum before your next song?” As if those words were a challenge, his demeanor changed. How dare you question his ability to push you over the edge, you’d regret ever doubting him.

Your knees almost buckled when he withdrew his fingers, leaving you to feel empty. You knew the feeling of being without him would not last long, but it still made you whine. He pushed his pants and boxers down, just enough to set his cock free. He swiftly grabbed the back of your knee, hooking your leg over his hip. It was just enough for him to be able to guide himself in between your folds.

“This is going to quick and hard, do you understand me?” It was less of a question and more of a statement. It wasn’t something for you to argue with or try to negotiate. “Yes, sir.” You bucked your hips in response, practically fucking yourself with his dick. He had to slam his hand against the door beside your head to control the pleasure that circulated through his body when you clenched around him, “Don’t,” he growled, capturing your chin in his hand.

Your eyes widened as you tried to force yourself not to wrap around him again, but the way he commanded your attention and obedience was one of the sexiest things he did in bed. “Open your mouth,” he demanded, after releasing your jaw. You weren’t fully there, too lost in a euphoric state to hear his words. He snapped his hips roughly, his chain slapping against his pants. “Fuck!” You cried out, opening your mouth wide, permitting his middle and ring finger to slide into your mouth, “Close,” he snapped his hips once again.

Clamping your mouth shut, you swirled your tongue around and in between his fingers. His lustful gaze locked on the seductive way your lips locked his fingers in your mouth. His hips finally began to pick up pace, the door rattling roughly behind your back as he pounded you into wood. He kept his fingers in your mouth to stop you from being too loud, a technique he used often in these instances.

“Look at you, drooling over my fingers, taking my dick like such a good girl,” he practically purred, but not without the having to groan in between syllables. You nodded animatedly, moaning around his fingers.

He slipped his fingers from your mouth, letting them fall between the two of you, and slip between your legs, pressing into your clit. You clenched your teeth together, locking your jaw. You had to screw your eyes shut, as his fingers made quick circles around your bundle of nerves. As if you weren’t standing at the edge, ready to fall, he used his free hand to grip you neck. “Hoseok,” You whimpered, your chin quivering.

“Not yet baby. You need to hold it, you’re not allowed to cum till I say so,” he pulled out, only long enough to make you feel like you were missing a piece of you, before he slammed back into you, watching your body reel from the shock and pleasure. “No, no. I can’t, I can’t take it, please.” The tears pooling in your eyes let him know that you were so close to coming undone. He needed to watch you fall apart, beg him for a release.

“You can, baby. I know you can,” he groaned, his own orgasm rapidly approaching, which only doubled his speed. You were barely able to stand on your toes, the sheer force behind each of his pounds were almost lifting you from the floor. He had bottomed out in you, at least twenty pumps ago. You could feel him in your stomach, breaking down your sanity with each snap of his expert hips.

Tears started to slip from the corner of your eyes, as your fingers gripped his wrist. He knew your body better than anyone, better than yourself. He knew how far to push you, and how much you could take - even if you didn’t think you could. “Tell me you love me, y/n, I need you hear it.”

“I love you,” it sounded like you tried to scream, but your voice got trapped in your throat, “I love you so much, Hoseok. I love the way you fuck me, I love how good you feel in me, I love the way you use me.” The undoing had begun, for the both of you. “Yes! Shit, again, y/n.” He drilled into you, the air being taken from your lungs. Your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you used every muscle in your body not to cum.

His fingers still on your clit only sped up, he wanted you to break. He wanted you to break his rules, he wanted to know that no matter how hard you tried, he knew how to control your body. “Say it baby, I’ll let you cum,” his promise was hoarse, almost breathless. You wouldn’t allow himself to cum unless you did first and that was getting harder and harder for him to hold in. The string to his climax was getting thinner, barely staying together.

Your mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out; not even a gasp, a moan, a cry. You focused all your energy on not cumming, but you were losing this battle. He slowed his hips giving you a false sense of relief before snapping them once more, showing no mercy to your clit. That was it. You couldn’t hold on any longer, your body betraying you. Silently your body shuddered as an orgasm ripped through your body like a tsunami. Hoseok didn’t slow his pace though, he only continued to fuck you through your orgasm. Finally, you felt the air fill your lungs again when you gasped. Your nails digging into his wrist.

You cried out loudly, tears freelly falling from your eyes at this point. “No more!” You begged, “Hoseok! Ah! Oh my god!” The burning in your stomach was a clear indicator that another orgasm was on route to take over you again, and you weren’t prepared. He was chasing after his own high, with the add benefit of punishing you for disobeying, even if that was his plan all along. He watched as another wave washed over you, your body tensing and twitching. You were involuntary squeeze around him, snapping the thread of his control. He lost himself on you, calling out your name as he came. He couldn’t believe how long his orgasm lasted, it was one for the record books.

Your orgasm finished before his, seeing as it was your second. You whimpered and watched as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly against him as his hips stuttered to a stop. Both of you panting heavily, the air was hot and smelled like sex. You could see the sweat glistening on his forehead as you pushed his hair back, sniffling from crying only minutes ago.

“Are you okay, baby?” He whispered, pulling his face away from your neck, sweeping his thumbs over your cheeks. “Did I hurt you to much? You didn’t use your word,” he was now beginning to feel a pit of guilt in his stomach. Underneath his dominant exterior, he was soft and malleable for you. He was the biggest teddy bear and craved your physical attention and words of praise constantly.

“I’m okay,” You smoothed the hair in his head, leaning down to press soft kisses over his cheeks and lips, “If it was too much I would have used my word, I promise.” You whispered as he took a hold of your hand, kissing each of your finger tips.

“Show time!” A loud bang on the door startled both of you, making him pull you away from the door, as if to protect you.

“Are you going to be okay by yourself?” He set you on your feet, helping you fix yourself, before fix himself.

“I’ll be fine, my love,” you reassured him, “but you owe me so many cuddles,” you teased.

“Absolutely baby. A long bath and so many cuddles you get tired of me,” he beamed, giving you a gentle kiss on the lips.

You watched as he hurried out of the room, taking a deep breath. You were about to head to the bathroom when he ran back into the room, kissing you again, “I love you.”

You giggled as he ran back out, latching his belt back around his waist. “I love you too, Jung Hoseok.” You whispered.

[kryptsune]

Risk Drabble~ I Want to Love You

🎃A little context with this. It was late last night and I could not sleep at all. I saw a hurt/comfort prompt and this lovely piece of writing was born at around 2am I think. I don’t know. Enjoy it 💙{WTU SPOILERS AHEAD}

She had yanked her hand away yelling only for him to become a little overly aggressive. It had slipped her mind as she shook from his actions. His boney almost claw-like fingers dug into her skin causing a blossom of blood to form and trickle down her arm. He had released her when he didn't realize his own strength but it was too late. Her ears rang with his shouts as she ran clutching her arm. Her legs brought her to the only place she found solace. A small little place in Waterfall. She collapsed next to the glowing blue stream shivering as if the very ground she now rested was but ice. When she looked down at her arm, the wound was nowhere to be seen. That only meant that her mind had started to decay and old horrors were spilling out. Did he even grab her? Her eyes filled with tears as she placed her shaking hand against her lips. What was real? What was fake? She knew that he loved her but this. She was sure she looked at him with horror swimming in those cobalt depths. The fear was undeniable and he had done nothing to deserve it. How could you ever love someone that saw the shadow of your former self-overlaid over the present? Was she a hypocrite? She told him that she forgave him and yet her mind was wrought with rot. It's decay slowly creeping deeper and deeper into her mind. The ghosts of the past haunted her even to the extreme of physical sensation. What were you supposed to trust? She closed her eyes leaning forward in defeat. Her age was in its prime. A young woman with so much life to live and yet this disease had slowly consumed her sanity and with age, it would only devour what was left of the present. She couldn't put him through that. It would break her heart. She didn’t deserve him not after that. At that moment her heart began to break. She loved him so much that his happiness went beyond her selfishness. He was better off finding a monster to be with than her. She would get old, her condition would become worse, and he would be tied to a human with such a short life in comparison to his own. It was the way it truly had to be. No amount of apology could ever fix what she had just done even if it was not in her proper state of mind.

She just sat there staring blankly into the water only to hear a small noise off to the side. It was him. It was near impossible for her to truly be alone when he was able to track her down so easily. Even when he approached she refused to raise her head to look at him, “I’m sorry...” She nearly choked on her next set of words as they passed her wavering lips, “We can’t be together. I.... I can barely control myself any longer. All I see is the worst part of you when...” The tears began to form as she tried to stop herself, “I know there is so much I love. I...I don't even deserve you. I want to love you and keep you close to me but I fear I am losing my mind. I see things past and." She was cut off as she screwed her eyes shut only whimpering a few chosen words, "I'm so sorry I yelled.... That I ran... I don’t know what is wrong with me anymore.”

Physical ailments could be treated with simple medication or rest but the mind is a complex beast. Just as it’s physical appearance depicts it is a maze that one could be trapped in for all eternity with no hope of escape. She was shaking and nearly on the cliff of a panic attack. She didn’t know what he would do. What he would say but he didn’t have to say anything. All she felt was gentle arms wrapping around her from behind cradling her in that warm embrace. How could he even look at her let alone touch her? All she could hear was that soft twinkle of chimes that made Waterfall so unique. He loved her, cared for her, and comforted her. He was her best friend and now someone she couldn’t imagine being without. His silence only led to soft gestures like the wiping of tears, a soft squeeze, and a small smile. He didn't need words to tell her how he felt. When the silence finally broke she was staring up into those red eyes. Ones that used to frighten her but now drew her in with that brilliant ruby hue.

He knew what it was like to lose your mind as his father had made sure of it. The monster he once was and the one she had met were like doppelgangers and though those traits from his past had returned he still struggled with the one thing that stained his very being. The very thing that had nearly torn half the Underworld apart with its aggression and madness. To see her go through the same pains hurt his soul. He had learned to control his and yet hers only seemed to become worse. He feared one day she would harm herself due to some demon that crept into her mind once more. He wanted to take that pain away from her. He wanted it to end but even her outbursts could never change how much he loved her. Even if she tried to pull away he would always pull her back. He had done this to her and so he deserved what he was getting. He only threaded his fingers through her hair gently combing through the auburn strands, “Why would ya ever think I’d be mad at ya?” He had been working tirelessly for weeks trying to improve her mental condition and yet no amount of magic could fix her wounds, “Ya don’t deserve me? Sweetheart, ya got it backward. I did this ta ya and I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all back er’... erase all tha bad but I can’t. You could yell at me fer tha rest of yer life... I will never leave ya.” He just held her praying to someone, anyone that one day those demons would be purged from her mind even if that meant he had to be out of the equation. She deserved better and though he loved her with his every breath he could not deny that he was only causing her more pain. He could feel her small frame shuddering as she sobbed, “Shhhh I gotcha.”

It was ironic considering the place she had chosen to escape to. It was a special place for both of them. It did not look like much but this was the place where his once cold and ruthless soul had been soothed. No amount of words or magic could do what her warm smile had or just that sparkle of hope and love in her eyes. It was the moment he realized he had been horribly wrong about the seemingly fragile human girl sitting beside him and how much of the term monster he had become. A truly awful horrible demon of a skeleton that didn’t deserve her angelic mercy. He had a difficult time living with his past actions drowning in a regret that not even time could cure. He remembered finding her trying to hold back tears as she wrapped her pale arms around herself. Seeing his handiwork in full display only for her to panic at his snooping. She explained that though time appeared broken for her that did not mean there were no consequences to such a thing. She called it a curse and rightfully so. Even as they sat in silence he could feel his thoughts shifting. That was the moment that changed everything. That was truly the moment that he realized just how special she was and how important she was to him specifically. He nearly cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. It was the same exact spot. The only difference was that he had no hesitation in his comforting of her. He wanted her to know that no matter what he would always be there no matter what she did because deep down a little of her hope had made its way into him. He would save her just like she had saved him all those years ago. She deserved happiness and he knew that for her that included him just as much. She had said so herself.

He closed his sockets just resting his mouth on the crown of her head before slowly raising it to speak clearly, “Ya saved everyone Sweetheart... now let me save you, alright?” He continued to hold her like the little fragile thing she was letting her feel that warmth and comfort. That loving embrace that would never leave her. She looked up at him now calmed by the soft words and warm cradle of his arms. It was a simple word one that might make another laugh at its absurdity, “Red...” Ah yes, the nickname. The very one that had been a joke in past. A failed attempt at a kind of quip for his use of so many pet names for her. There was one that stood out among the rest, sweetheart. There was nothing as fitting as that one simple word for her. She had made a point about mocking his fashion sense and his unfortunate eye color saying that he should be nicknamed after the color he seemed to be drowned in but it was his. A name that proved that though he had become something he hardly recognized that was the person she had grown fond of and could call a friend. It was special even if to the untrained eye it would appear rather bland or foolish. When that word slipped past her lips his soul would thump in his chest skipping the nonexistent beat that filled what a heart would do. He stared into those blue eyes that were filled with so much love for him something he never thought he would ever deserve. No, no one could say that name like she could. She didn’t need to speak anymore he just swept her off her feet so they could once again return home. He would keep hope for a brighter future and one day all those grey clouds would give way to the most beautiful blue sky. She had already cleared away the storm for him now it was his turn to show her the true beauty of a night sky unhindered by a single cloud. A peace, love, and happiness unmatched and unequal to anything on this planet or under it.